Do Go On - 471 - The Illuminati

Starting point is 00:00:00 We are about to board our plane to Europe. Toot toot! I cannot wait. Jess is taking a train. That's what we're doing. We're at the train session. Toot toot. Toot toot! Aerotrain. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:12 So it's really exciting. A bunch of the shows are already sold out, but we still have a few tickets, including some extras in Edinburgh that we've just released, as well as Belfast, Dublin, Birmingham and London. We'd love to see you at all of those shows. And then after our Do Go On Tour wraps up, Matt's sticking around for a little bit longer to do some Who Knew It and some stand-up shows. That's right. And you're joining me, Dave, as well, at the London show doing the Who Knew It.

Starting point is 00:00:36 And we've also got special guests at each show. The Lawmen are coming along to that one. Then also doing Lester and Edinburgh. I absolutely can't freaking wait. Never been to Lester before. Really excited. I got some cool guests. Haven't been fully locked in yet but they sound like they're going to be sick. So if you want tickets to any of these shows go to dogoonepod.com and we'll see you there. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and as always, I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Starting point is 00:01:19 Oh my god, it's so good to be here. How good is it to be alive? Jess, how are you? I wish I was never born. But it is Blocktober, baby. Should we make an exception for this month? Ah, yeah. And I'll think about it for next month too. Great, Blovember.

Starting point is 00:01:33 Blovember. Yes, that's right. Because Blocktober is the time, and I think it has been for about seven years, where we count down our most voted for, our most popular, our most suggested topics of the year. We used to do it just for October, aka Blockbustertober, aka Blocktobergrace period. Yes. Okay. I think we used to go on even longer than that, but now we have also Annex November, which has now become Blovember. So it's two months, which usually means nine topics, which is what it is this year. Yeah. Wow. Huge. And we're reaching the halfway point right now because we're about to hear all about the fifth most voted for topic. Top five. Top five. We're in it. It's gonna be big. It's gonna be huge and I'm

Starting point is 00:02:16 not feeling the pressure at all. Let me tell you I feel very cool and calm about it. Okay, that's good to know. Feeling good. That's perfect to know. That's feeling good. All right. That's such good news. Woo! Oh my God. You're not only calm, you're pumped. Oh God. Oh please. I need a break.

Starting point is 00:02:31 Oh my God. Um, so, okay. Uh, for anybody who's joining us because they've seen this topic, uh, you know, on, on Spotify or on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and you've gone, I want to know more about that. That's me. But you have no idea who we are. That's me.

Starting point is 00:02:43 Hello. You don't know who we are? I walked past the studio and it said the name of the topic and I came in. That's true. He did do that. He does it every week. Welcome Dave and welcome all the new listeners. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:51 Well, we usually get onto the topic with a question because usually the other two don't know what the topic is. In this case, you might, you do technically know it, whether or not you remember it. Yeah. Cause we had to divvy these up like a month or so ago. Yeah, yeah, I could be projecting because I always forget, but there's a chance you may have forgotten or you might be aware or it might be some, you know, vague in the back of your head somewhere.

Starting point is 00:03:13 Yes, I can't remember. I keep thinking it's Amityville, but I did that about three weeks ago. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not that. Okay. That'd be bizarre if they voted for it twice. I keep thinking about it's the why the Mona Lisa is so famous.

Starting point is 00:03:28 But that was me nine years ago. That was episode one. So, no, it's not either of those two. I'll ask the question to help jog your memory. Please remind me. Which secret society. Oh, yeah. Originated in Bavaria and is blamed for most significant events in modern history.

Starting point is 00:03:43 Stonecutters. Stone cutters, based on? We talked about the Freemasons a lot recently on a bonus episode that we did on Patreon. That's the triangle people, what are they called? The Illuminati! The Illuminati! Oh my god, I think I got it out first for Bob who keeps scores for this. The question, Bob, is it whoever starts the answer, whoever finishes the answer first? Because I think the triangle people was me starting the answer.

Starting point is 00:04:06 Yeah. And then me saying, Illuminati was me finishing it. I actually think Dave started and finished the word Illuminati first. Yeah. But you said it with more enthusiasm and for longer. And that has to count for something. That's got to count for something, Bob. We'll leave that up to Bob's discretion.

Starting point is 00:04:21 Leave that up to Bob. Thank you, Bob. So the topic is the Illuminati. Whoa. And that's scary, right? That Leave that up to Bob. Thank you, Bob. So the topic is the Illuminati. Whoa. And that's scary, right? That's, well- That we're talking about them. Potentially, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:29 Well, this is the topic where I've heard of it. I don't know anything about it, but I'm scared of it. Yeah. And I think that's a lot of our topics. Maybe less so the scared bit. I think where Douga 1 sits is references you've heard on The Simpsons. We explained a lot of those and like things you know the name of, but not much of the history or the origins.

Starting point is 00:04:50 Love that. That's it. That's where we sit. We didn't go through it on the Amityville episode, but do you remember the treehouse of horror episode where the house is saying, get out? That must be referring to Amityville. And the walls were like slime and changing colours and stuff. I guess that's what that was referring to. It has to be. Yeah. It'd be really weird if it was something else. Or if they just made that up. Yeah. What do

Starting point is 00:05:14 you call it when two people have the same idea at different times? Parallel thinking or whatever? Is it that? Must be. Could be. Could be. Could be. Must be. About 15 years later. But Illumin But the Illuminati. Illuminati. So yes, that is a topic that we're doing today. I'm going to go mostly into its origins, because obviously there's a lot of conspiracy theory type things in modern era through the Illuminati.

Starting point is 00:05:40 And it's hard to find many resources on that without ending up on a watch list. I honestly did not know it was a real thing. Yeah, right. That had an origin story and stuff. I thought it was like, you know, the conspiracy sort of invented it in itself. Right. No, it was.

Starting point is 00:05:58 So there were lizard people in Germany. There were lizard people. It was 1700s in Germany. Okay. Actually, its origins are potentially a little disappointing in that they're very normal. But I'll get to that in a sec because I do just want to shout out to the people who suggested it as well, because we've had a few people that suggested this topic. Jake Greenhough from Lismore. Greenhough, that's half lizard.

Starting point is 00:06:23 What's the other half? What's the other half? Jake. Jake, which is a human name. Yeah. We've had Don's from Sydney, Sandy Ty from Ballarat, Clinton from Willow Beach, Ontario, and Sarah Groom from West Sussex. So thank you to those people for suggesting this topic. Let's get into it. So the origin. I should say, I assume they're all lizard people as well. They're all as people. They just don't make it so obvious as half green. Come on, mate. Come on, mate. Hiding in plain sight, huh? So born in 1748 in Ingolstadt, Bavaria, Adam Weishaupt came from a relatively modest background. His father died when he was five years old and he was raised by his godfather,

Starting point is 00:07:06 Johann Adam Freyer von Ickstadt. By the way, Germans, so many German names in this. I'm going to butcher all of them. Oh, that's great. I'm aware of it. I'm doing my best, but you don't have to tell me in the comments. I look, can I tell you- At each individual one I fuck up.

Starting point is 00:07:23 I've been a Bavarian and I think you're nailing it. Thank you so much. I needed that. And what an incredible name. Look, I have six, seven names. Johann Adam Freyja von Ickstadt. So good. Who was a prominent academic and proponent

Starting point is 00:07:36 of enlightenment ideals and rationalism. There's also, throughout this report, a lot of talk of various religious sex that aren't really around anymore. You should have seen him lean into the microphone. I just thought maybe Dave's favourite Wikipedia page might have been coming up, sexually active popes. Wise helped begin his formal education at age seven at a Jesuit school, which had a profound impact on his early intellectual development. The Jesuits were known for their strict discipline and conservative religious teachings, emphasizing obedience and loyalty to the Catholic Church.

Starting point is 00:08:15 This early exposure to rigid ecclesiastical authority would later fuel his desire to challenge the church's influence. I gotta know the rules to break the rules. That's right. Yeah. That's right. It's like jazz. Yeah. All right. Did all the theory now.

Starting point is 00:08:28 Fuck the theory. Yeah. Watch me do a solo. A little bit of background in the area at the time. So the ideals of enlightenment spread by philosophers such as rationalism and reason, are more prevalent in the Protestant regions of Germany, but in the more Catholic Bavaria, there's a lot less tolerance for it. So other parts of Germany, they're kind of like, yeah, enlightenment, which I always

Starting point is 00:08:53 struggle to define what that is. But where they are in Bavaria, they're like, Catholic, and that's it. Very irrational. They're rational over there. We won't stand for that. He later enrolled at the University of Ingolstadt and graduated in 1768 at age 20 with a doctorate of law. And in 1773, he became professor of canon law and practical philosophy at the

Starting point is 00:09:19 University of Ingolstadt. He was the only non-clerical professor in a position that had always been held by a Jesuit at an institution run by Jesuits whose order Pope Clement had dissolved a few years earlier. So the Jesuits, however, they still retained the purse strings and all the power at the university and they sort of continued to treat it as their own. They're like, this is our turf. Okay.

Starting point is 00:09:43 And he's this like non-cleric who's come in and is teaching canon law and they're like, I don't think so. Come on. He doesn't know anything about cannons. Yeah, exactly. Gunpowder, cannon balls. Never seen a gun. Doesn't know anything about it.

Starting point is 00:09:58 No idea. They're like cannons. You can't just jump to cannons. Yeah, you got to work your way up. What a prick. That's what they would have said. That's what they would have said. That's what they would have said. I don't think that.

Starting point is 00:10:07 That's what we think. I've got no opinion. Absolutely not. I'm neutral on this man. Yes. For now. Adam, etc. Wise helped.

Starting point is 00:10:15 Wise helped. So the Jesuits made constant attempts to discredit non-clerical staff, especially when course material contained anything they regarded as liberal or Protestant. Trying to teach them to say, Bert Burr disregard, disregard everything you're saying. Wrong! They're standing next to him while he's giving his lectures. No, don't write that bit down. Yeah, don't worry about that.

Starting point is 00:10:34 Yeah, it's bullshit. Surprisingly, Wise helped became deeply anti-clerical, resolving to spread the ideals of enlightenment. I love that, but I would have just quit and gone to work to another university where they respected what I did. I'm not sure if there were many at the time. But he's worried about these kids and what they're learning. Yeah. It's important to him. They need to know about canon.

Starting point is 00:10:54 He's only like his early twenties anyway. So in Age of Enlightenment, just for anybody, I've just Googled it to refresh my own memory as well. It's an intellectual movement of the 17th and 18th centuries in which ideas concerning God, reason, nature, and humanity were synthesized into a world view that gained wide assent in the West and instigated revolutionary developments in art, philosophy, and politics. So they just kind of, they thought a bit more openly about things.

Starting point is 00:11:21 And so obviously the Catholics are like, no, no, no, don't think about it. What's your motto? Don't think about it. I think about things. And so obviously the Catholics are like, no, no, no, don't think about it. What's your motto? Don't think about it. Don't think about it. There's a Tism song, which I think these clerics might enjoy. It's called, will the last person to leave the room please turn off the enlightenment. I like that- It's such a long run up for a song title.

Starting point is 00:11:47 A lot of those are, but I like that you have sort of, you can use Tism song titles or Tism songs as a framework of understanding the world. It's really nice. So he's like, I'm going to spread these ideals of enlightenment, but he's worried that rumors of his enlightenment ideals might compromise his position at the university. You know, they're going to be like, no, no, no, you're all open-minded and shit. So a few colleagues told him about the possibility of protecting himself by joining a secret society that was comparatively fairly new to Southern Germany and had a reputation

Starting point is 00:12:27 to sort of help out its members. And that group was the Freemasons. So he decided to dip his toe in a little bit, not join, but he was kind of like on the perimeter a little bit chatting to other people. He's sort of saying, is this going to suit him? But there were things he didn't really like about it. He didn't like the rituals attached to it. He found it to be expensive.

Starting point is 00:12:46 I'm not really sure if they were like membership fees or, or you had to like buy your own robes and stuff. Yeah. And he didn't find that they were sort of as like-minded as he had hoped. They had a raffle every year and they really expected you to sell the whole book. Yeah. And what you ended up doing yourself, obviously. You ended up just chucking in a 50.

Starting point is 00:13:04 And then every six months there was, you know, the Caramello Koala Drive. Yeah. Oh, did you ever do that? And then you just buy more? Of course. Every time kids would go to school with like an envelope filled with one dollar coins, I'd just have a $50 note in there. And my dad was very happy.

Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah. I think on day one, my dad would be like, let's buy the box. Yeah, no problem. How many? Fantastic. Cause one, a couple of years it was inside the big box with smaller boxes of Maltesers, snakes, Twixers. Did you have that one? Yes, you're right.

Starting point is 00:13:34 And it was like, you know, $5 a box or something. And it's like, well, let's just spend a hundred dollars and buy more. And then we just had like chocolate and lollies for, you know, for a couple of months. It was awesome. Mum was like, cause mum worked at a school, so she'd sometimes take it to the staff room and be like, anybody you want it? We'd sell a few that way, but we'd always be buying the remainder. Of course.

Starting point is 00:13:52 You're in the staff room behind her saying, please don't buy these. You are stealing from a hungry girl. Giant Freddos. Yeah, Giant Freddos, Giant Caramel Koalas. Giant Freddos taste different to regular Freddos, and I will die on that hill. They do because it's got to be about the thickness. I love them. Love a Giant Freddo's taste different to regular Freddo's and I will die on that hill. They do because it's got to be about the thickness. I love them. Love a giant Freddo.

Starting point is 00:14:08 That's why like a party pie Dave would taste different to a regular sized pie. Because it's the pastry to filling ratio is different. You got to be, yep. You're onto something there. Yeah, you're getting like edge on every bite. Yeah. And for some that's better. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:23 Some people love to edge. Normal sized Freddo, you're doing like one bite, maybe two if you're being conservative. If you're enjoying it. A giant, you can snap bits off all that all day. You can make that bad boy last. Yeah. Oh, so good. I couldn't, that's why I bought the box.

Starting point is 00:14:39 I'm saying like 10 minutes. Yeah. That was me really. I had a next door neighbor who was a good friend of mine. And sometimes, this is when we were little, mum would give us, you know, five bucks each or whatever and we'd get to go to the local milk bar and buy some lollies and then we'd ride our bikes home. And mine would be gone by the time we got home and she would save hers and then she'd have like a few and then go home. And I was like, I don't know how

Starting point is 00:15:00 you just did that. But then we like, can I have one? I was like, well. Fizzos, one cent a piece. You can make you can make a dollar last with us. One cent. Well, no, that would have been in your time, but in my time. Five cents a piece for us. Whoa. I know.

Starting point is 00:15:16 Inflation, baby. Inflation. That's incredible. These days, probably five bucks a piece. Yeah. And that's why kids can't buy a home. Yeah. Had to buy them fizzos. Stop buying them fizzos. My primary school canteen you could buy one barbecue shape for five cents.

Starting point is 00:15:29 That's... Or three for ten. That's so funny, I've never heard of that. The profit margin on that is incredible. That's insane, especially because little mini packets of barbecue shapes exist. They'd be like selling a box for like the equivalent of $50. That's insane. And this is in the 90s.

Starting point is 00:15:43 Why would you buy one barbecue shape? Why would you do that? That's so funny. Well, obviously there was a market for it. Mostly preps who come up and go, what can I buy for this? And slide five cents. Yeah, the money they found in the playground. It's in the sand pit.

Starting point is 00:15:59 And they'd give him a barbecue shape. You can get one juicy fruit, which was like a lolly, like a fruit lolly or one barbecue shape. I'd go the juicy fruit. Juicy fruit. I was chewing gum in my day. Yeah, same. Was it like a little piece of chewy?

Starting point is 00:16:11 No, you can swallow it. There was like, you know, blackcurrant, orange, pineapple flavor. And I think the positive spin was it's made with the real fruit juice. Oh yeah. 0.0001. Wow. Even if it was full of real fruit juice it's still. We're looking after our kids.

Starting point is 00:16:28 So anyway, he decided, I don't want to pay five cents for a barbecue shape. Maybe I'll start my own thing. He's like, well, Jesus Dave. Jump ahead much? Okay now mate. I forgot where we're up to. I think Dave might have just revealed that he knows a little bit about this secret society. I think I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

Starting point is 00:16:48 do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Anyway, so the way that the Freemasons work as an organization is that there's a hierarchy that requires a member to complete higher levels. They call those levels degrees. So there's usually three degrees in a lodge, which is like their clubhouse, but some offshoots

Starting point is 00:17:16 had up to like 30 different degrees. They'd sort of make up their own hierarchies and different titles and stuff like that. I've had a new one. I did a new degree last night. I'm the boss now. I was. I'm now a new one. I did a new degree last night. I'm the boss now. Yeah, yeah. I'm now a high priest of this lodge. I just made that up.

Starting point is 00:17:30 So the main takeaway is that Weishaupt wanted to continue promoting and discussing these ideals of enlightenment and he realized that the safest and smartest way to do that is through some sort of secret society. So he decided to establish his own. Okay, Dave, you were right. Thanks for the spoiler. He decided to start his own. Wow. Which was of course called Bunde Perfekstenblist or Covenant of Perfectibility or the Perfectabilists. Oh, I like that a lot. The perfectabilists. Perfectabilists. Obviously he later changed it because it sounded too strange. But for quite a while it was the perfect-able-ists or the covenant of

Starting point is 00:18:09 perfect-ability. I loved your German. That was awesome. I don't think German people loved it. Yeah. Can we hear it? Dave is German, Jess. That's right. You get the approval from me. Bunde-perfect-able-isten. Ooh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:20 Love that. Ooh, yeah. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. But by the time this comes out, are we already in Germany? Have we been to Germany?

Starting point is 00:18:30 No, no, no, we're about to. The thing is, this weekend. Oh my God, exciting. So the show is sold out, but you can, you know, obviously we'll be there. I'm sure I'm practising my German really well. Yes. Oh, yeah. No, somebody in the Patreon said, don't worry about learning any German phrases, particularly in Berlin. Everyone will speak English too. And I was like, oh, yes. Oh, yeah. No, somebody in the Patreon said, don't worry about learning any German phrases,

Starting point is 00:18:45 particularly in Berlin. Everyone will speak English too. And I was like, oh, great. I'm only there four days. I don't have time to learn a language. Anyway, tickets still available to the UK and Ireland shows. What language do they speak there? I guess we'll find out.

Starting point is 00:18:58 Okay, great. Hopefully it's a lot of expats so they understand us. Yeah. Not all, most of those should sort out too, but some of them have got tickets, right? That's right. Yeah. Have a look online. You're adults, figure it out.

Starting point is 00:19:09 Oh, and I'm doing Who Knew It? Yes. Go to those. London, Leicester. First time ever going to Leicester and... Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Dave's going to be at the London show with the lawman.

Starting point is 00:19:22 It's going to be awesome. Oh, exciting. Love those guys. Great pod. I have stuff to do that day. Um with the lawman. It's going to be awesome. Oh, exciting. Love those guys. Great pod. I have stuff to do that day. Really important stuff. Very important. But I will try to make it.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah. Don't tell people where you're going. No, I'm not going to. Because, you know, they'll turn up. Everyone will turn up to that. And they'll ruin my day. And won't come to my show. They'll ruin my day.

Starting point is 00:19:40 Everyone will go to your, just to watch you for free. Me just walking around. Unticketed. I thought you were having tea with the king. I'm having tea with the king. Yeah, yeah. We've been trying to tea it up for ages. What were we just saying?

Starting point is 00:19:54 Don't say. I'm pretty sure Charles has got security. Yeah, they're not just going to let anybody walk into the Buckingham Palace. They'll let me in obviously. Yeah, well they invited you. I have a booking. Charlie and I have been. Why are you saying the son of the queen?

Starting point is 00:20:07 She was unavailable. Okay. Long may she reign. She might be quite some time. Yeah. So I was like, all right, fine. Charlie and I, we've been emailing back and forth. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:19 Are you coming to Australia anytime soon? Are you coming to the UK? I was like, I am, but look, I've really only got one day off. So it's only if you can fit me in, you know, that sort of stuff. Did you see, and I didn't even click on the link, but I saw a heading saying that he didn't know what cling wrap was and was afraid when he saw it. That honestly doesn't surprise me. But I don't know, I didn't click on it, so I don't know if it was like a satirical thing

Starting point is 00:20:40 or a real thing. I think that makes complete sense to me. First I've heard of it, but I like it a lot. I'd honestly be surprised if he's ever wiped his own ass. Really? Yeah, like I don't think they're really in touch with like anything. Their asses? Their assholes.

Starting point is 00:20:54 Um, yeah, it doesn't, I think that's absurd, but I also think like, yeah, why would he see cling wrap? He's never going to the fridge for leftovers, is he? Anyway, so he's now set up his own thing called the Bundesliga. The perfect-a-ble. The perfect-a-ble. Perfect-a-blists. So in May of 1776, he and four students formed the perfect-a-blists, taking the Owl of Minerva as their symbol.

Starting point is 00:21:20 So in Greek mythology, a little owl traditionally represents or accompanies Athena, the Virgin goddess of wisdom, or Minerva, her Roman mythology counterpart. It's all good fun stuff. So they've got a little owl as their symbol. That's fun. Love a little owl. Love it. Perfectibleist members also used aliases within the society.

Starting point is 00:21:41 There's only five of them. I'm excited for this. So Weishaupt became Spartacus. Law students, Massenhausen, Bauhov, Merz and Souter became respectively. Sorry, it wasn't going to be Spartacus and they all say, no, I'm Spartacus. They became Ajax, Agathon, Tiberius, and my personal favorite, Erasmus Rotidamus. Tiberian. Last week was it? Or the week before with Alistair, we were talking about how that name needs to come back. Yeah, we need to bring back Tiberius. We love it.

Starting point is 00:22:13 I fully agree. But there's a new front runner. What was that last one? Erasmus Rotidamus. That's incredible. Erasmus I reckon is around a little bit. How? I think, you know, I think there were three or four Erasmuses in my U level. Erasmus F, Erasmus G. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a Jess, that was triggering because I had to be Jess P all the time. Actually, I had a French teacher that refused to call us all Jess.

Starting point is 00:22:42 So one of us had to be Jessica. One got to be Jess and I had to be Jessie just because she refused to just use our call us all Jess. There was three of us in the class. That's weird. It was weird. She was a weird teacher. So you were Jessie. I was Jessie. Or the other two. Jess and Jessica.

Starting point is 00:22:58 That's a bad system. And I didn't like how she said, Jessie. I can be a bit funny about Jessie. Some people say it like a normal word. No problem. But she would say it like, Jessie. I can be a bit funny about Jessie. Some people say it like a normal word. No problem. But she would say it like, Jessie. And I was like, shut up. It's patronizing.

Starting point is 00:23:10 Anyway, Massenhausen proved initially the most active in expanding the society. He was sort of, he was recruiting significantly while studying in Munich shortly after the formation of the order, he recruited a guy called Xavier von Zwack. Zwack. Zwack. Zwack comes up a bit. Zwack is fantastic. Xavier von Zwack.

Starting point is 00:23:30 Yeah, that's a great name. That's good. Someone out there is collecting a list of great names. I think that one has to go straight in. Xavier von Zwack. He was a formal pupil of Weishaupt and it was at the beginning of Zwack's significant career. At the time, he was in charge of the Bavarian National Lottery. Oh.

Starting point is 00:23:49 Exciting stuff. Okay. But soon, Massenhausen's enthusiasm became a liability in the eyes of Weishaupt due to his attempt to recruit candidates that Weishaupt felt were unsuitable. Oh, he was just trying to get anyone. He was just firing in the market. He was just like, hey, everybody! He was just like- Join my secret society!

Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and Weishaupt was like, I think we need to be a little more selective. Yeah. Later, Massenhausen's erratic love life made him neglectful. And as Weishaupt passed control of the Munich group to ZWAC, it became clear that Massenhausen had misappropriated subscriptions and intercepted correspondence between Weishaupt and ZWAC. So, Massenhausen wasn't really been a team player. Come on, Massenhausen.

Starting point is 00:24:30 Come on mate. Yeah. Exactly. That sounds like he's having a good time though. Oh, I was having a great time. Erratic love life. If there's a word- Not erotic. You want erotic, not erratic. I think I might have misheard. I imagine me going, erotic love life. But you're right, erratic's not good, is it?

Starting point is 00:24:50 No. Well, I guess, yeah. What does that mean? That's inconsistent, is it? Yeah, hot and cold. Sometimes you're up all night, then you're in line for three weeks. That's OK. Yeah. I might have one of those. I think I might have an erratic love life.

Starting point is 00:25:09 So in 1778, Massenhausen graduated and took a post outside of Bavaria and he was no longer part of the order. But at this time, the order had around 12 members. They've gone from five to 12. Huge. Okay. In April, the order became the Order of the Illuminati after Wisehelp had seriously contemplated the name Bee Order.

Starting point is 00:25:29 Bee Order? Like BEE. Yeah, she went on to be one of the Golden Girls. I knew it. I fucking knew it. You knew the Golden Girls? I knew he would make a Bee Arthur joke. I knew it.

Starting point is 00:25:39 Man, whenever you do that, I say, I hate it when you do that. And then you do it anyway. What? Block. That's called blocking. Jess? Blocked over. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:25:51 That does make sense. And the other time of year, we're usually the same. That does make sense. And I do forget you didn't do the first two levels. Yeah. I forget. But. You hate it when I get excited about a joke you make.

Starting point is 00:26:03 No, I hate it when you go, I knew you would. I knew you would. So I should just keep that to myself. Well, I don't think you will, but. No, that's good feedback. I can give that to myself, but I'll just like, I'll wink at Dave. Can I wink at Dave? Yeah, I guess you can.

Starting point is 00:26:16 Do you want me to high five you or something? No. Because I'm like, I'm excited that you've done it. Yeah. Like as soon as I said, be order, I was like, that sounds like me, Arthur. Yeah. You know, so then I was like, come on. Mmm, you know, it's that kind of vibe I'm not like you fucking predictable piece of shit

Starting point is 00:26:33 So I'll change my tone but also I'll stop doing it. I mean this whole conversation just makes me think Thank you for being a friend because I'm being a really good friend to Matt right now. I'm taking on feedback How uncomfortable? Well, I'm being a really good friend to Matt right now. I'm taking on feedback. You're a pal in a confidant. Well, I'm trying... I didn't know what I was doing was really upsetting to Matt and I want to be better. So I'm taking on that feedback. What does the bee... What does that even mean? Exactly.

Starting point is 00:26:57 Fantastic question. The order of the bees? Oh yeah. Who knows? And then so they went for Illuminati instead. Okay. So it's the third name. Perfectability. They went, oh, maybe this is... The bee order. Who knows? And so they went for Illuminati instead. OK. So it's the third name.

Starting point is 00:27:05 Perfectibility. They went, oh, maybe this is the perfectibilist or something. They're like, this sounds a bit ridiculous. Let's change to B-order. B-order sounds like something that, you know, like grade two kids would come up with or something. Yeah. Like it's a we're in the B-order. It's a secret order. Yeah. And we run around going blizz, blizz, blizz, blizz. Yeah. Is there a chance that we'd all be like talking about, oh my God, the secret society is running

Starting point is 00:27:27 the world. They're called the Be-Orden. Yeah. You know the Be-Orden is behind 9-11. It would not have happened, would it? That would feel silly. It's often in the name, isn't it? It needs to sound a bit more interesting, intriguing, illuminati.

Starting point is 00:27:37 What is that? What does that mean? I still don't know. I'm not really sure either. Oh, there's no reason for the name. Not that I came across. Just sounds cool, probably. Yeah. I still don't know. I'm not really sure either. Oh, there's no reason for the name. Not that I came across.

Starting point is 00:27:46 Just sounds cool, probably. Yeah. It's like, why was your band called Weed Hornet? We don't know. We don't know. We'll never find out. There's no logical explanation. You can't know, just sounded cool.

Starting point is 00:27:56 And yes, coincidentally, some people would say that there was a whippersnipper in the garage called a Weed Hornet, but we'd already named the band weeks before that. Prove it. You can't. We didn't know. So with Massenhausen gone, Zwhack threw himself into recruiting more mature and important recruits. They go on for like people with power. 60 plus.

Starting point is 00:28:15 60 plus. Most prized by Weiss Helpt was a man named Hirtzel, who was a childhood friend and a canon of a particular church. A canon is a title. They're basically priests. Hirtzel's a great name. Hirtzel. Hirtle, who was a childhood friend and a canon of a particular church. A canon is a title. They're basically priests. Hurtle's a great name. Hurtle. Hurtle.

Starting point is 00:28:29 Hurtle. There's no Z. Hurtle. Not as good. That's good. What a shame. No, you punched it up. It actually kind of sucks now, yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:37 It's bad. Oh, Hurtle. Yeah, Hurtle people hurt people, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Hurtle? Like, hurtling through space? Maybe that's better? Oh, yeah. Hurtle? Like hurtling through space? Maybe that's better.

Starting point is 00:28:47 Oh yeah. Look, maybe I'm OK with it. Yeah, but it's not as good as hurtle. No, hurtle's sick. Hurtle's amazing. By the end of summer of 1778, the Order had 27 members, sort of in five different groups. During this early period, the Order had three grades or like degrees, levels. They call them all sorts of different things. You had novice, manoeuvral and illuminated manoeuvral.

Starting point is 00:29:15 Of which only the manoeuvral grade involved a complicated ceremony. So the middle one had a ceremony, but then it was quite easy to become the third one. Manoeuvral, I don't know why that sounds so funny, but that is- I think it must be because of the owl. The owl of Manerva or something. Yeah, but it just sounds- I'm a Manerval in the Illuminati. I don't think the Manervals were going to be suspected of doing anything either.

Starting point is 00:29:37 Illuminati has done a lot of the work so far. The Manervals. We're the Manerval Society. Okay. Poindexter. Yeah. Take a hike. Embarrassing, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:29:48 At the moment, it does sound like with so many, so small amount of members that he's just recruiting for like a dinner party. Yeah. He just wants interesting people to come around to have a conversation. He just wants friends. What do you think about, you know, God and Earth and... Yeah. But he wants people that agree with him.

Starting point is 00:30:02 Yeah. So it's like... Echo Chamber. Yeah. They were thinking about calling it the Echo Chamber Naughty. But he wants people that agree with him. Yeah. So it's like an echo chamber. Yeah. I was thinking about calling it the echo chamber naughty, but. Echo chamber naughty. Echo chamber naughty. I like that.

Starting point is 00:30:12 That's not bad. Do you think it's too late? Write that down. Maybe I'll send Werner Herzog a letter. Werner Herzog. Yes. You could send Werner Herzog a letter. And he'll be like, what are you? What's happening here? Dave, you do his voice?

Starting point is 00:30:25 I don't think I can do it. I've just, you've just received a letter from me saying, why don't you change the name of it to whatever I just said? And then how would you respond? Name. That's good stuff. He has a cameo in Parks and Rec that I just watched the other day. He does this piece to camera, completely deadpan of being like, after 47 years of living in this house, I've decided to move to Florida to be closer to Disney World.

Starting point is 00:30:54 That's really good. That's a really good bit. Anyway. That was pretty good. Yeah, I was doing that to get you into it. Without Ben Russell present, I think Jess is the next best Verna Hutz log. I'm, I'm a Ben Russell type. Yes.

Starting point is 00:31:12 Okay. So they've got these three grades in their new society and basically a system of dibba dobbing kept wise helped informed of the activities and character of all of his members. They were just kind of like, everybody was sort of like, yeah, I think Dave's great. But I did see him talking to some Catholics. Oh, about the Dibba Dabba Nadi. Dibba Dabba Nadi. Dibba Dabba Nadi. I like that. I think that could be really good.

Starting point is 00:31:38 And for international listeners, the Dibba Dabba is a tattletale. There you go. Dibba Dabba one of ours. Surely. Oh, my God. Listen to it and say, is that international or could that be Australian? To me it sounds really English. Yeah, it probably is. Oh, what a dibba dobba. He dibbed and he dobbed.

Starting point is 00:31:57 I'm going to go down the pub for a dibba dobba. Pagapork, scratchins and dibba dobba. They're crazy over there. Can't wait to be there. Can't wait to be there. Can't wait to be there. Come along to our show. So yeah, they're all kind of dibbidobbing on each other and his favorites sort of become members of the ruling council, which they then called the-

Starting point is 00:32:13 The ruling council, there's 27 members, mate. I know. And I don't know how many are in the ruling council, but they're called the Oropagus. Oroooopagus. Oroooopagus. I don't know how to say that word. Could you only be part of the council if you could say it properly? Yeah, so I'm out.

Starting point is 00:32:30 I'm stuck in novice. I'm a white belt in Taekwondo. I'm unmaneuvered. I'm confused. So the people they were seeking to recruit, they were looking for Christians of good character, while pagans and Jews were specifically excluded along with women, monks, members of other secret societies. Great, because they're not enlightened.

Starting point is 00:32:51 They're not enlightened. And we want people that are like-minded. Women can't think like this. We want like-minded people to come and enlighten us. That's right. With the same thoughts. Their perfect candidate was rich, docile, willing to learn and aged 18 to 30. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:33:08 I was in for so much of that. So much. I fell at the last hurdle. Honestly, that was for a long time. Um, my, what I was looking for on Tinder. Rich, docile, 18 to 30, 18 is too young. But willing to learn? Okay.

Starting point is 00:33:26 How to cook. My preferred dishes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is like the 17th century version of looking for a man in finance. Yes. Trust fund. Is it because they want to exploit their cash? Look at you.

Starting point is 00:33:39 Yeah, that's right. My wife's into it. I knew it was your wife. Yeah, she educates me on online courses. I was letting you have credit for knowing an internet term. I know. I knew where it came from. I know nothing. I knew it was your wife. She educates me on online. I was letting you have credit for knowing an internet term. I know. I knew where it came from.

Starting point is 00:33:48 I know nothing. I'm a little worried about what your wife's up to. She's looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. She did not find one. Blue eyes. That's what his wife's up to. I have blue eyes, so I've ticked at least one box.

Starting point is 00:34:02 I've ticked a box. You have a trust fund. I've set it up for you. It has 25 cents in it. Thank you. Dibba Dabba, you're right, Jess. It looks like it's Australian. Here's the thing, Matt. Here's the thing. You know what you just said?

Starting point is 00:34:13 You're right, Jess. I'm always fucking right. Yeah, that's true. Dabba apparently comes at the earliest evidence according to Oxford English Dictionary. It's from 1836 in Nicker Bokker magazine borrowing from the Dutch daubber. So that's just daubber, but apparently we added the dibber. Yeah. And I think that's really what takes dibber daubber to the next level. Maybe daubber could be the

Starting point is 00:34:37 entry level of the, of our secret society. And then the second level is dibber daubber. And then well, the high, the high daubber, the high Dibba Dabba. Illuminated Dibba Dabba. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. High Priest of Dob and Dib. But are they trying to get these riches in because they want their cash? Um, I guess, yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:58 I don't really know why rich would be important. Otherwise. Are they exploiting these people because they're like, hey, be part of our society and also fund our society. But maybe it's also like if you've got, if you are wealthy, you are probably moving in different circles, which then means like people of power. Bit of influence. Yes, it's probably that.

Starting point is 00:35:16 So Y-Shap struggled to dissuade some of his members from joining the Freemasons. So instead he decided to join the order to snoop and learn their ways. Cause you know how before he'd sort of looked at me, he didn't join. He was just kind of like, now he's like, all right, well I can't, I sort of, I prefer that my secret society members are only in my secret society, but a bunch of them keep wanting to join this other secret society. So I'm also going to join. I'm going to snoop and learn their ways, take a few of their rituals and their

Starting point is 00:35:44 practices, and I'm going to use my ruminati. Right, they've got awesome marketing. I need to work out what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. How are they doing it? That's clear. It's Intel. It's figuring out. And what are these levels? Oppo. What do they call it? Oppo research. So he's trying to- That's got to be a stretch. Yeah, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:35:58 Oppo. Oppo. Opposition. I think that's what they talk about. I like that. Yeah. Oh, unless I'm making that up. But I don't think- I've also never heard about a luck as well. But yeah, this- because this is similar to a story Dave told us on the Patreon feed. Yes, Leo Taxil, if you want to look it up. There's a whole episode about a guy who was sort of in and out of the secret societies

Starting point is 00:36:21 as well. Yeah, writing a few- A lot of twists and turns. Unauthorised histories, but we won't say too much more. No, but yeah, that's really interesting. It's smart to, if you can get away with it. Yeah. If it was in a movie, there'd be all these moments where he's almost uncovered as a spy.

Starting point is 00:36:36 And I think for Adam Weissup, because he'd never started a secret society before, he was kind of like, I don't really know what these higher levels should be. I'm going to go and figure out like how the levels work and what the differences are and what kind of power and influence and whatever comes with different levels. So he's there to snoop. Is this why they ended up with the pyramid? Cause that's all about the pyramid, like the hierarchy of needs or whatever is a pyramid, right? So is that what the pyramid is? They're working up the levels to the peak of the pyramid? Yeah, possibly.

Starting point is 00:37:07 Where the eye is? I think that- Or is that just on the American money and that's nothing to do with the Luminati at all? Nah, the eye's the Luminati. Right. They're mad for it. Is that even on the American one? That is on the cash.

Starting point is 00:37:20 Yeah. Do you- Explain. Find out how it gets the cash? Nah. Yeah. Do you find out how it gets to the cash? No. Did you look into that? No. No. No. Don't worry about it. Stop asking questions. Shut up. So don't worry. Jess is maybe not trying to tell the full story here.

Starting point is 00:37:43 Yeah. Are you sweeping under the rug? Yeah. I think by the time we get to the end of this, you might feel differently. Ooh. So he joins the Freemasons. He's admitted to lodge prudence of the right of strict observance. He's a prude. He's a prude.

Starting point is 00:37:59 They're a Masonic body from the 18th century, very prevalent in Germany. So he joins them in 1777. Just wanted to say. Just Dave was getting the one. I can't believe it. I'm the perv. Lodge perv. body from the 18th century, very prevalent in Germany. So he joins them in 1777. Just Dave was getting the one. I believe it. I'm in the Perv Lodge. Perv Lodge. No pants allowed boys.

Starting point is 00:38:15 Leave them at the door. There's a sorting hat type scenario. Yes. Dave, you're a perv. You're thinking disgusting dirty little thoughts. Why are you thinking, please don't put me in perv? So he's in the Prude Lodge. That's-

Starting point is 00:38:32 He's in the Prude Lodge and he sort of progressed through some of the degrees, but it didn't really give him the information he wanted. He wanted to understand more about the secret of higher degrees, but obviously it's secret. So you got to work your way up. Yeah, he didn't really get very far. Zwhack persuaded, uh, Weishaupt that their own order should enter into a friendly relation with the Freemasonry and obtain the dispensation to set up their own lodge.

Starting point is 00:38:56 So they did that. They got like a, a special permission from the Grand Lodge of Prussia called the Royal Yorker Friendship. That's all one title. Wow. That's awesome. And they opened their own new lodge, which was called Theodore of Good Council. The intention was to flatter Duke Carl Theodore.

Starting point is 00:39:14 So they named it after him. That's clever. Try to suck up a little. So Theodore of Good Council was founded in Munich in 1779 and quickly packed with Illuminati. Now a new lodge needs a new Freemason master at the helm and a man called Raddle was the man put in charge, but he wasn't one of Y-Sharp's men and he was persuaded over time to return home to Baden and by July Y-Sharp's order ran the lodge.

Starting point is 00:39:39 So they've got it like they had, they put like a Freemason in charge and they're like, you know what? You should. Aren't you missing home? Actually, you should go home. Geez, Baden, you know something about Baden. We do not get strudel like in Baden. Yes. Baden, which I assume is where you're from.

Starting point is 00:39:57 Yeah. Should. Oh, don't you miss it? Don't you miss it? Don't you miss the strudel? Oh, so you think about visiting. Why don't you move back? Why? Your wife is missing you, I'm sure.

Starting point is 00:40:09 I'm sure. Are you married? You should be. You should be. With those eyes. Let's get you a wife. Beautiful Baden eyes. Yeah. I'm a local lass.

Starting point is 00:40:17 So then they put their, they put their man. You're a Baden ten. Yeah. Over here. You're a Munich three. You're a Munich battler, but you are a ten in Baden 10. Yeah. Over here. You're a Munich 3. You're a Munich battler, but you are a 10 in Baden. There's nothing wrong with being a big fish in a small pond, mate. Because you're the biggest fish. You can hardly bloody turn around.

Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. That's how big you are. You fill the whole pond. You will be just spat in a way. Other beautiful fish. You are the sexiest fish in that pond. You're the sexiest fish in that pond. You're a hot fish. Yeah. Not here. No, my God. Here you are repulsive. You're a sexiest fish in that pond. You're the sexiest fish in that pond. You should go. You're a hot fish. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:45 Not here. No, my god. Here you are repulsive. You're a disgusting fish. You are a sturgeon. Yes. Yes. Over there, rainbow trout.

Starting point is 00:40:53 I'm saying this because I love you. Yeah. And I want what's best for you. I'm sorry if it seems brutal, but fuck off. You have to leave. You have to leave because you're ugly here. You're ugly. And you're making us all feel gross.

Starting point is 00:41:03 I cannot look at you. So the next step involved independence from their Grand Lodge. So they established relations with the Union Lodge in Frankfurt, which was affiliated with the premier Grand Lodge of England, and somehow that then means they were able to declare its independence. There's no, there's like, there's, there's mother lodges and then smaller lodges off that. And they've now broken off, they're independent and now they are the mother lodge, which means they can now spawn lodges of their own. So the Illuminati is just starting inside Freemasonry. And you kind of both, you're a Freemason and an Illuminati.

Starting point is 00:41:42 But it was better for getting new members. They thought if we joined this big thing, we just look legit, but then we can run our own little version. We can sort of, we can, we can have our own kind of chats and, and, and talk about what we want to talk about, but within Freemasonry. Very strange. They were able to recruit among the Frankfurt Freemasons, and this is where they met Adolf Nigg, who would go on to be very influential in the Illuminati. Right. Bit of foreshadowing. That's not how you say his name, but it's how I'll be saying his name because it's borderline

Starting point is 00:42:16 problematic. So, no, it just is problematic. His first name is Adolf. I know. So it's like, it's no better if I start calling him by his first name, but I'm going to call him Nigg. Well, I will fill in the blanks then, my god. I'll tell you later.

Starting point is 00:42:27 He was of German nobility. He lost his parents young and inherited a large debt. Despite this, he studied law and achieved a respected position. By his late 20s, he'd already reached the highest ranks in his Freemason order and had plans on how to reform the Freemasons. He was like, oh, this is great, but here's how we can make it better. But he was disappointed to learn that there wasn't much support for his ideas. And in late 1780, at a convention of the right of strict observance, he met Costanzo Marchese de Costanza.

Starting point is 00:42:57 Costanza's in there twice! This is one of the great name episodes. It's wild. Can we hear it again, please? Costanzo Marchese de Costanzo. Oh, he's a 10, wherever he goes. De Costanzo is just like of Costanzo. Anyway, I don't understand, but-

Starting point is 00:43:12 It's like Jess of Jess. Yeah. Wow. He's a Freemason as well. He introduced Nigg to the Illuminati and its, its Minerval grade materials, like some papers and pamphlets and stuff, which contained banned liberal literature. And the exam was some friends and they've like the friends have lost interest, but he's

Starting point is 00:43:32 intrigued. So why shopped soon contacted him, recognizing that he had valuable connections and shared goals of education and protecting society from oppression. So why shopped gave him the task of recruiting new members before he would be allowed to join higher ranks. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, of course, like, yeah, come on in, we want you to rise up the ladder, but you are going to have to recruit a few people first. All right, it's like a bringer gig. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:54 You have to have an audience if you want to perform. That's right. So Nick's recruitment efforts were successful as many Freemasons were attracted to his description of the Illuminati's aims. He believed in the most serene superiors, which Wy-Sharp claimed to serve. Wy-Sharp was like, there are like higher ups above me. They're very secretive, very old, very wise. The most serene superiors, they do not exist. Oh, so that's not God like a supreme being. It's like these, it's like a leader that...

Starting point is 00:44:24 I think so, yeah. And a leader's that I think. Yeah, it's real clever stuff. Like if you work in retail or whatever, you always want to. I'd love to give you the discount. But my manager really taught on this stuff. Yeah, the system actually won't allow me to override the price. He's done that. Yeah, I honestly would love to help you out.

Starting point is 00:44:44 I would really love to help you out. Do you want a wash bag with your purchase? That's what I always had to add. I hear you complain. Honestly, I'm on your side, but the supreme being back there doesn't want to put this through. No, he won't come out and talk to you. No, he's very busy.

Starting point is 00:44:57 I'm so sorry. So did you still want to take this or? And you're also like, I'm 14. You're a woman in your mid forties. Why are you yelling at me to fix this for you? Like, I genuinely can't. I don't. I can't do it.

Starting point is 00:45:11 I work for minimum wage, 10 hours a week. So, um, uh, Nick sort of, he struggled with a lack of clear information about it's that the Illuminati is higher ranks because he couldn't answer potential recruits questions about how the high levels worked because Y-sharp would kind of dodge the question. So people were like, yeah, that sounds really interesting. So like, how did the levels work? And he'd be like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:45:38 I mean, like, it's kind of like, so Nig was getting a little bit frustrated, but Y-shp continued to withhold details about the higher grades, instead assigning Nig the task of writing anti-Jesuit pamphlets. He's like, yeah, cool. No, absolutely. I'd love to answer your questions about that, but could you just write some pamphlets for me and we'll have that conversation later. What are Jesuits again?

Starting point is 00:46:00 They're kind of Christians? Yeah. It's a Catholic group. Right. Yeah. By January of 1781, Nick expressed frustration at the lack of information and faced with the prospect of losing Nick and his Masonic recruits, Y-Sharp finally confessed that his superiors and the supposed antiquity of the order were fiction. It's like, all right, yeah? I made it all up, okay?

Starting point is 00:46:27 You happy? I said it was ancient. It's not. It's very new. It's new, I came up with it. It's new, it's only like a few years old, okay? We're trying to figure it out. Okay, and it would be a lot easier if you went snooping.

Starting point is 00:46:40 Okay, if you weren't asking so many annoying questions. This time last week we were called the B order, okay? Okay. I'm working stuff out. Huh? Huh? Huh? I'm feeling a little defensive because I'm trying to figure out this new secret society

Starting point is 00:46:55 and you're asking all these questions like, what is this? And I'm like, I don't fucking know. It's a secret society, mate. Okay. It's a secret. Unbelievable. You're on a need to know basis and you do not need to know. Remember the first time some action hero said that?

Starting point is 00:47:08 What a badass moment. So cool. That's awesome. That was probably in like a silent movie or something, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Set it with his eyes. And then a train came at you and you were like, whoa. I'm scared.

Starting point is 00:47:20 He pissed himself. He actually pissed in a cinema. It was disgusting. Yeah, but it was that everyone pissed everywhere back then. Everything was pissed. The world was a toilet. The floor was pissed. It didn't really matter that much. It's embarrassing by today's standards. But back then it was a different time. Yeah. The guy next to me was pissing on purpose.

Starting point is 00:47:37 Yeah. He didn't know that I was pissing in front. So it was pretty much, you know, the perfect crime. So, yeah, he admits like, okay, I've made it up. There isn't any higher beings or, and this isn't ancient. I don't, this is new. Surprisingly calm, Nig embraced the opportunity to shape the higher degrees, tailing them to appeal to potential recruits in Protestant regions of Germany. So he highlighted two key problems with the order. It's focused on recruiting university students, which then left senior positions filled by

Starting point is 00:48:13 inexperienced young men and its anti-religious sentiment, which alienated senior Freemasons who had the money they were after. So he's like the two things that you're looking for, which is young people and not religious. I'm actually getting rid of that. Yeah. One of the main reasons you wanted this whole thing. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to. Let's scrap that so we can get more people in and basically be exactly like the Freemasons. So given Free Rain by Weishaupt and the ruling council, he started to develop these higher grades. He sort of would, he would write it out.

Starting point is 00:48:47 He went straight, he got free rein. Yes. He went from, I'm not telling you to, all right, you do whatever. Well, they actually, they needed him because they were like, we don't actually know how to put this together. And he did. So they were sort of like, all right, well, they, they needed to, they gave him free rein, but they still wanted like final approval on final approval on everything. Yeah, they wanted to feel like that was still in charge.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Totally, but they would really just go like, yeah, that looks good. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's actually a really good idea. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. So yeah, you can implement that. That's fantastic. I'm delegating because that's what good managers do. Yeah, I'll tick off on that.

Starting point is 00:49:18 Yeah, you'll actually save me a bit of time because I was about to do that myself. But that's great. Now I've got more time to do more important stuff because that's what I do. Yeah. I'll probably consult with the elders. Oh no, you know that. Oh, you know that's me. Um, consult with the elders just when I don't have a wank in that room.

Starting point is 00:49:34 So, uh, Nick tabulated his new system of grades for the order. This is how they, they arranged in three classes and then the classes are also broken up into different titles. So class one is the nursery. Brutal. It just seems patronising. It consisted of the novitiate, the Minerville and the Illuminatus minor. Then there was class two, the Masonic grades,

Starting point is 00:49:58 the three Blue Lodge grades of apprentice, companion and master. Then there's class three, the mysteries. The lesser mysteries were the grades of priest and prince, followed by the greater mysteries in the grades of mage and king. You could be a king. So funny. Or a mage. It just is a way of like having a social group where you get to like pick on people.

Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah. You get to rank them. Oh, you're a lowly mage. And I'm guessing this neat guy who came up with the rankings, he's not going to give himself apprentice. Yeah, he's skipping. He's going straight to King. Yeah. Oh, all right. So I'm the King. I'm the King. Come join my club or I'm the King.

Starting point is 00:50:41 Yeah. It's so funny. These are adults, right? Yeah, these are all adults. Yeah. That's so funny. These are adults, right? Is this adults? Yeah, these are all adults. Yeah. And they also respect each other. Respect the ranks. And they all are like-minded.

Starting point is 00:50:52 So, Nigg's recruitment from German Freemasonry was far from random. He targeted the masters and wardens, the men who ran the lodges and were often able to place the entire lodge at the disposal of the Illuminati. So, one example was in Aitchen, where he was able to get Baron Dewitt, Master of Constancy Lodge, to join the Illuminati, and therefore basically every member of the lodge followed suit. So he's turning full lodges. It's like he's playing Othello.

Starting point is 00:51:18 You just have to flip one at the end and then all the ones in the middle flip as well. So if your boss turns and he goes, hey, we're in the Illuminati now, you have to go, yes, sir. We're all moving. I think it's yeah, I think it's more just like the boss is like, hey, so like, what about some of these ideas? And they go, oh, yeah, okay, yeah. What are they doing to convince him? I have no idea.

Starting point is 00:51:36 He's already the boss of his own thing. Why would he? But is it like, hey, you're a sergeant over there, but if you come with us, you can be a major. Yeah, yeah. All right. I think there was just a lot less to do back then. Yeah. This is the 1770s. James got a holiday.

Starting point is 00:51:49 Yeah. Yeah. I'm not really sure exactly what is so appealing to them, what he's saying to bring people over. I'm really not sure, but they're still Freemasons. They're just also in the Illuminati. Maybe he's very charismatic, this guy. Must be. Because this is just- it's a cult. Yeah. Yeah. Also in the Illuminati. Maybe he's very charismatic, this guy. Must be. Because this is just- it's a cult.

Starting point is 00:52:06 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I mean- No, secret society. Yeah. Yeah, I guess they're different. Yeah, and I'm not really sure. It's so unclear, especially so many years later, to be like, what's the point?

Starting point is 00:52:21 So in this way, the order expanded really quickly in central and southern Germany, and it obtained a foothold in Austria as well. Moving into the spring of 1782, the handful of students that had started the order had swelled to about 300 members. Wow. So it's growing. It's growing quite quickly. I guess it's like networking as well, right? Yeah. They're using their connections for business.

Starting point is 00:52:40 Absolutely. And that's kind of the, I think, not part of the point of for business. Absolutely. And that's kind of the, I think part, not part of the point of Freemasonry back then, but, um, it's certainly part of the, uh, like the more modern view of the Illuminati is that it's people of power helping each other to gain more power and stuff like that. I don't necessarily think that was the case back then, but I mentioned before the right of strict observance. So that's a branch of Freemasonry that claimed direct descendant from the medieval Knights Templar and was a dominant sect at the time, which included the lodges that the Illuminati had sort of infiltrated.

Starting point is 00:53:19 It was, it had a very strict hierarchical order, um, and obedience to unknown superiors. It attracted a lot of aristocrats and intellectuals and there was uncertainty over its true origins, which sort of led to division and conflict. And it started to splinter. The right of strict observance was at a bit of a critical state. They were at an impasse and they had a convention to all come together and try to reach a bit of a resolution. They're kind of like, people sort of going like, what are, like, what are the origins of this? Because they're apparently ancient or we come from the Knights Templar and

Starting point is 00:53:55 others like, yeah, we do, and others like, I don't think we do. And so they're, they're, they come together for this big convention. And it's the worst of the names I've heard so far. The strict observance. Yeah, like I'm in the Illuminati, I'm in the Freem the names I've heard so far. The strict observance. Yeah. Like I'm in the Illuminati. I'm in the Freemasons. I'm in the Knights Templar. I'm in the Rite of Strict Observance.

Starting point is 00:54:11 Which is Freemasonry anyway. Yeah. Yeah. It's not great branding. There's a lot of like, oh yeah, there's a lot of, you go to the Wikipedia page, there's a lot of hyperlinks and they're all just like, oh yeah, that's a part of Freemasonry. You're like, okay, so just say you're Freemasons.

Starting point is 00:54:25 Yeah. Strictly, it may as well be called the, uh, the rule following club. Yeah. Yeah. The no fun, no fun club. So they go, they have this, this big meeting and a discussion was had about the future of the order and there were 35 delegates there and they were all like, in its current form, strict observance is doomed.

Starting point is 00:54:44 Like we're fucked. So it turned into a debate between German mystics and Martinists. Very little actually got achieved in this convention because they were kind of trying to satisfy everybody. So they satisfied nobody and they ended up renouncing the Templar origins of their ritual. They retained all the titles that came from the Knights Templar anyway. It was all like just really confusing. They took the best bits. Yeah, they took the best bits, but they said like, OK, we're not from Knights Templar. Oh, right.

Starting point is 00:55:16 Which some people were like, well, they didn't say we're not, but they've renounced it now. But they winked as well. They're one eye. The one eye winked, which is how you do with one eye. In the Martinists, they're followers of Martin Lawrence, aren't they? Big Mama's House. Yes, love Big Mama's House. Big Mama's House 2. Yes. Yes, somehow the sequel is even better. Yeah, it often is. That's what the Martinists were told. When Martin Lawrence is involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Wikipedia,

Starting point is 00:55:40 what the Convent of Willemsbad actually achieved was the demise of the strict observance. It renounced its own origin myth along with the higher degrees which bound its highest and most influential members. It abolished the strict control which had kept the order united and it alienated many Germans who mistrusted Martinism. So basically it created a splinter in a group, which is great when you have a new secret society that you're trying to fill up. Good one.

Starting point is 00:56:06 So after this convention, Adam Weishaupt proposed a federation of German lodgers practicing a unified Freemasonry in its basic three degrees. He's like, all right, everybody, hey, what if we have like a federation? We all just come together. We're all the same. I don't really know what his plan is here because he isn't really super into Freemasonry. I think he's just trying to get everybody on one page. Everybody has the three basic degrees, but then you can add your own if you want.

Starting point is 00:56:36 You can have extras. In this federation, lodge masters would be elected. No fees would go to a central authority. He's basically trying to make it a way to spread Illuminism and replace the strict observance with the eclectic system of the Illuminati. So he's sort of trying to like make in all of Freemason his sort of thinking. But this proposal of a federation came with written denouncements of other influences present within the very lodges they were trying to convert.

Starting point is 00:57:04 So they denounced the corruption within German Freemasonry, they criticized wealthy but unsuitable initiates and they alleged that civil society's decay had infiltrated the lodges. Making these claims offended a bunch of people who then didn't want to support a federation. So they kind of hurt themselves a little bit there too. So then the Illuminati suffers a little bit as well. They're continuing to try to recruit, especially in Bavaria, but discontented Freemasons and educated professionals joined the lodge. Lodge Theodore grew and expanded into Austria, Switzerland and other regions. By 1784, they had around 650 members, though other claims suggest it could have been closer to like 1300.

Starting point is 00:57:46 So they've grown a fair bit. There was also another group called the Rosicrucians. Hmm. Incredible. That's good. Rosicrucians. Yeah, I think it's good because it doesn't mean anything like obvious. Yeah, I can't read it.

Starting point is 00:57:58 It probably means like red dog or something. I can't read it without thinking crustacean. Crustacean, red lobsters. Red lobsters. Red lobsters. So he wanted to, Y. Sharped wanted to keep the Illuminati hidden from the red lobsters because they were very influential in German Freemasonry. They were Protestant, the Rosicrucians.

Starting point is 00:58:18 They loved the clerics. They were pro-monarch. They held views that were very conflicting with the Illuminati vision. And so he was sort of trying to keep the Illuminati quiet from them because they were influential. He didn't want them to, I don't know, destroy his plans. But they did become aware of him and they had their main lodge, or the big lodge was called the Three Globes. It accused the Illuminati of atheism and revolutionary tendencies.

Starting point is 00:58:46 And essentially they labeled the Illuminati as a political anti-Christian Masonic sect and the three globes refused to recognize Illuminati members as Freemasons. The three globes, that's pretty good. Don't mind that. Yeah, that's a good symbol. Big beautiful globes. Do you know where, what was Germany at this point? Don't mind that. Yeah, that's a good symbol. Big, beautiful globes. Do you know where...

Starting point is 00:59:07 What was Germany at this point? Is this like the Prussian Empire or something? Okay, I'm so confused by it. So Germany as a country, it's only been around right since the 20th century or something? Or the late 19th century? Yeah. Yeah. So back in this point, is it still just like little Bavaria is its own state? I think so, yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:32 Not a hundred percent sure, but I believe so, yeah. Right. So yeah, I find that really interesting. Dave, as a German, can you qualify? I also find that interesting. Qualify? So now we get to, um, to Nick leaving the Illuminati. So, Wysharpt, he kind of alienated him who had- Nick had expanded the Illuminati, but he felt underappreciated and they kind of clashed on some of their main ideas. So it sort of led to some friction over recruiting people because, yeah, they thought they sort of had two different ideals. And so anybody that

Starting point is 01:00:10 Nick was recruiting, why shop was like, no, they don't think like me. They disagreed over the priest grade. And why shop to demand it a rewrite of the ritual, but Nick pointed out that it was already circulated with why-Sharp's blessing, and it was told to everybody that that was ancient. So how do we now rewrite something we've just- We've found something even older! Yeah, how do we go like, oh no, no, no, no, no, that's- He sounds like he's an art man to work for. Yeah, yeah. And this all fell on deaf ears.

Starting point is 01:00:43 So they are, but like, still bullshitting to the followers. This is ancient. There's these old work for. Yeah, yeah. And this all fell on deaf ears. So they are, but like still bullshitting to the followers. This is ancient. There's these old stuff here. Yeah. We found this really, it's a guy just writing in his back room. Making it up. So Y-Shop now claimed to other Illuminati that the priest ritual was flawed because Nig had invented it and offended.

Starting point is 01:01:00 Nig now threatened to tell the world how much of the Illuminati ritual he had made up, which caused a bit of a rift. So, in 84, Nigg left the order and under their agreement, he returned all relevant papers and Weishaupt published a retraction of all slander against him. And we found an even older statement. Yeah. It wasn't him. It wasn't him. But they had just lost basically their best recruiter and theoretician. Yeah, it seems like their most most, uh, like competent.

Starting point is 01:01:28 Totally. Yeah, the only guy who knows how it works. How to put it all together. How to get people signed up. Yeah. But they've still got the guy whose idea it was. Yeah. What the idea was exactly, you know, a secret society. Yeah. And keep a bit of hush hush, which is exactly what they didn't do. So the Illuminati's decline began with indiscretions by its members in Bavaria, particularly in Munich.

Starting point is 01:01:53 Despite efforts to maintain secrecy, members boasted about their power and criticized the monarchy, making the order's existence and its membership public knowledge. So they just weren't particularly good at keeping their secret society secret. It's like one of the key bits of a secret society. It is pretty important. Because apart from that bit, I'm not really sure what they're doing. I'm not sure either. I'm imagining it like cigar clubs or like, you know, I think they're just sitting around

Starting point is 01:02:17 a lot. God, if only people knew where we were right now, but they don't because it's a secret. Secret! I just have to keep telling my wife I'm going to the shops. Yeah, and I never come back with milk. Oh, I forgot again! Ah, silly me. The presence of Illuminati in key civic and state positions led to public concern.

Starting point is 01:02:33 Allegations arose that legal outcomes were influenced by ones standing with the Illuminati, and the group was blamed for anti-religious publications. Some criticisms were driven by jealousy, but it also became clear the Illuminati members favored each other in government and academic appointments, particularly in replacing Jesuit officials with their own members. By now, what were mere intramasonic disputes had turned into complaints against the Illuminati to the Duke of Bavaria, Duke Carl Theodore. So the Duke issued an official order prohibiting all secret associations and societies that

Starting point is 01:03:03 weren't expressly authorized by the government. The Illuminati, they suspended their work. Only government endorsed secret societies. Okay. Which they were publicly acknowledged. You can't just make up your own. You will know if your secret society is publicly acknowledged. So the Illuminati, they suspend their work, but they also sent a petition to the sovereign

Starting point is 01:03:23 claiming they had been the victims of a misunderstanding. They're like no Not all secret societies bad. So then Duke Carl Theodore responded with a new order in which he specified that the Prohibition specifically concerned Freemasonry and the order of the Illuminati So they're like not us though, right Duke and he's like, okay, I'll write it out. Probably. Yes fucking you They're like, not us though, right, Duke? And he's like, okay, I'll write it out properly. Yes. Fucking you. It's pretty funny.

Starting point is 01:03:47 The worst for the Illuminati came in October of 1786. The Bavarian police finally raided the house of Zwhack in Munich. Zwhack luckily had been warned in time and he had left. However, he hadn't had time to hide or destroy an extensive documentation on the Illuminati from which the police learned who founded and directed them, a subject on which the authorities had until then fairly vague information. Oh wow. Now like we're not really sure who's running this thing.

Starting point is 01:04:12 And then they got all this documentation saying it's Adam. Great. Here's his address. So they seized several letters from Weishaupt to ZWAC and an incomplete, but extensive collection of notebooks and instructions from the order. Weishaupt lost his position at the university of Ingolstadt and fled Bavaria. The fall of the Illuminati continued to occupy him and he wrote a series of works on Illuminism, including their persecution and apology and an improved system.

Starting point is 01:04:38 But despite these writings, the group remained disbanded and Adam Weishaupt died in Gotha in Germany in 1830. So they pretty much fell apart in 1786. But 11 years later, two books came out that got tongues wagging again about the Illuminati. So there were two books, Augustine Barrowell's book called Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism and John Robinson's Proof of a Conspiracy. They were publicised, or they publicised the theory that the Illuminati had survived and

Starting point is 01:05:13 represented an ongoing international conspiracy. This included the claim that the Illuminati was behind the French Revolution. Oh. Barrowell, a French Jesuit priest, claimed that the philosophers of enlightenment, such as Voltaire, along with a coalition of secret societies in the Freemasons and Illuminati, helped spur the anti-Christian, anti-monarch movement which led to the French Revolution in 1789. What?

Starting point is 01:05:40 Three years after the Illuminati fell apart. Really? They didn't fall apart. They reappeared? Mm-hmm. Man, if that's true, that's pretty sick. It was all just for show. Yeah, oh, we're all falling apart.

Starting point is 01:05:52 No, I hate you. Winking their one eyes. Yeah. See you in Paris. See you in Paris, we'll take it all down. Yeah, it's awesome. His work, it's awesome. It's awesome.

Starting point is 01:06:00 This is awesome. Yeah, our plan is awesome. This is why I made this whole secret thing in the first place. I knew it could be sick. I didn't know what it could be, but I knew it could be sick. His work? It's awesome. It's awesome. Yeah, our plan is awesome. This is why I made this whole secret thing in the first place. I knew it could be sick. I didn't know what it could be. I knew it could be sick. That's so, yeah, it's a perfect way to do it.

Starting point is 01:06:12 Like now everyone knows about us. How do we become a secret society again? We fall apart. Yeah. Inverted commas. When really, we're only getting stronger. Yeah. By the day. By the second. By the minute. By the second. By the minute, by the moment. By the moment.

Starting point is 01:06:27 By the moment. Oh, wow, I just felt myself getting more powerful. That's happening. So the Jacobins, the political group, were the ones who actually carried out the revolution. But Barrowell, he talked up secret societies. He was like, nah, it was all secret societies who influenced them. His work tied the Enlightenment to the French Revolution in right wing literature and laid the blame at the shadowy feet of the Masons and the Illuminati.

Starting point is 01:06:53 Both Robinson's and Barrowell's books proved to be very popular, spurring reprints and paraphrases by others, and they made their way to the United States. When were those books? 18? No. When were those books? When were those books? 18, no. When were those books? When were those books? When were those books? 1797 and 1798. Right, okay. And so now that this, he's right, those books are making their way over to the US. So then the Reverend Jedidiah Morse. Oh yeah. Jedidiah. Jedidiah, it's funny because I feel like it should be Jebediah.

Starting point is 01:07:27 But it's Jedidiah. But it's Jedidiah. Yeah, I like it. I like it too. He was an Orthodox Congressional Minister and Geographer. Geez, leave some of the rest of us Jedidiah. He's taken up too much. He was among those who delivered sermons against the Illuminati in the US based on these books.

Starting point is 01:07:46 Incredible stuff. Jumping at the shadows, like literally just this thing that is probably just a nonsense. Or very clever. And they're like from another continent going, we have some kind of fear here. And it's not anything at all. Yeah. And it gets better. Okay. So Morse had been alerted to the publication in Europe of Robinson's book by a letter from a different reverend in Edinburgh and he'd read it shortly after copies arrived by ship. Other anti-illuminati writers such as Timothy Dwight soon followed in their condemnation

Starting point is 01:08:27 of the imagined group of conspirators. Leading up to the 1800 US president election, Thomas Jefferson was repeatedly accused, incorrectly, of being a member of the elusive Illuminati. Oh my gosh. That has continued forever in that nearly every US president at some stage has been accused of being a little. Really? Several police investigations into these claims led to nothing. Some of his supporters contributed to the confusion by assuring people that actually the Illuminati had infiltrated his opponents, not Jefferson. But definitely the others. Yeah, they're awful.

Starting point is 01:09:02 But not Jefferson. That's like a modern witch trial thing. Yeah, yeah. But definitely the others. Yeah, they're awful. But not Jefferson. That's like a modern witch trial thing. Yeah, in 1800. But it must be so funny for presidents being like, no, that's one thing I'm not doing that's dodgy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm embezzling. Please don't look into stuff

Starting point is 01:09:16 because you might find real things, but I'm- But I can guarantee- Put me on a light attack or I definitely am not in the Illuminati. But please stop looking. Please stop looking. Concern died down a bit in the early decades of the 1800s, although it sort of revived from time to time in the 20s and 30s.

Starting point is 01:09:36 The anti-Masonic party was the earliest third party in the United States. It was a single issue party. It strongly opposed Freemasonry in the United States. As many Masons were prominent businessmen and politicians, the backlash against the Masons was also a form of anti-elitism. But the anti-Masons purported that Masons posed a threat to American republicanism by secretly trying to control the government. So, that kind of brings us to modern Illuminati. So several recent and present day fraternal orders claim to be descendants from the original

Starting point is 01:10:09 Bavarian Illuminati and openly use the name Illuminati. Some of these groups use a variation on the name the Illuminati order, but there's no evidence that these present day groups have any real connection to the historical order. They just use the same name. They have not amassed significant political power or influence. And most of them, rather than trying to remain secret, promote unsubstantiated links to the Bavarian Illuminati as a means of attracting membership. Right. Sign up at our website, our secret society.

Starting point is 01:10:42 We're like, no, but we're the real ones. There's heaps of fakes out there, but we are actually connected to the Bavarian Illuminati that died down in the late 1700s. That's the only reason we're being public about it is to let you know we're the real ones. If it wasn't for the fake ones being out there telling you. We'd just secretly be quiet, doing our thing. Which is what we'll get to again once you've signed up. Yeah. Sign up. Follow us, Ill you've signed up. Yeah. Sign up.

Starting point is 01:11:05 Follow us, Illuminati official. .org. So, modern Illuminati lore has little to do with the original Bavarian group. The Myths resurgence started with 1963's Principia Discordia, written by Kerry Thornley, a parody text for the faith of discordianism, which encouraged civil disobedience, jokes and hoaxes in the ultimate belief that chaos could inspire social change. And then a writer for Playboy, Robert Anton Wilson, along with Kerry Thornley, who'd written that book, sought to counter the rising authoritarianism of the time.

Starting point is 01:11:46 So this is the 60s, leading to the 60s and 70s. It's sort of that hippie time. They're very against authoritarianism. Things are getting very erratic. If you know what I mean. Things are getting erratic and erotic. So they purposefully spread disinformation to sow confusion, including fake stories about the Illuminati, which they planted through letters to Playboy Magazine.

Starting point is 01:12:11 Because that's where Robert worked. Right. And then Robert could be like, this is a great letter. Great letter. We should- Well written. This was immediately followed by contradictory letters with the aim of making people question the truth of the information presented to them. They hoped this would encourage people to scrutinise their realities, but the plan

Starting point is 01:12:29 didn't entirely work as they intended. The chaos of the Illuminati myth did indeed travel far and wide and Robert Anton Wilson and another Playboy writer, Robert Shea, capitalised on this by writing the science fiction trilogy, The Illuminatus. Throughout the story of The Illuminatus, The Illuminati are revealed to be at the centre of every conspiracy in history, like they killed JFK. And the United States has been controlled by them ever since Adam Weishaupt killed George Washington and secretly took his place. Oh, okay. I remember that.

Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah. Very convincing accent work he did. Yeah. Great actor. They're like, all of a sudden, the president was like, ain't ain't a banana. Stuff like that. Yeah. George, I didn't understand a word of that.

Starting point is 01:13:17 But it was beautiful. Did what I say mean anything in German though? It was very offensive. We're going to have to bleep that actually. Sounded like I said, I'd like one banana, but maybe it wasn't. It sounded like, that's what it sounded like to me. It sounded like you- Someone who can't speak German.

Starting point is 01:13:32 Like you were saying, I'd like to wine and dine you cause I think you're fine. Yeah, something like that. It was actually- That is true, Dave. Quite flattering. Are you available anytime coming up? No.

Starting point is 01:13:44 So the books became such a surprise cult success that they were made into a stage play in Liverpool and included early works of British actors Bill Nye and Jim Broadbent. That's cool. So- Sorry, they're not published as non-fiction books, they are. No, no, no. This is a novel. This is like a bit of fun.

Starting point is 01:14:00 I imagine if this had happened. Yeah, but that's what they want you to think. It's completely absurd, really silly. Sure. But no, what I'm saying is no one's trying to put it out there like, no, this is real. No, that's not, they're not trying to. People are taking it as such. But they wouldn't, right? They wouldn't, if it was real, they'd tell you it's fake. Just a bit of fun. True. This is how you get your message out without, you know, letting people know the truth, unless they need to know. Which you do not.

Starting point is 01:14:33 I don't, because but I'm not a priest or a major or anything like that. I'm not even an apprentice. I don't even belong in a nursery. But that's what he wants us to think. Yeah, he's a major. Damn it. You are getting good. I don't even belong in a nursery. But that's what he wants us to think. Yeah, he's a mage. He's a mage. Getting good. I know.

Starting point is 01:14:48 I'm ageing. I am ageing. I guess we all are in our ways. But you in a very specific way. Yeah, I've been doing it for a lot longer. Yeah. I didn't know that we owned the book, but I have the book at my house. Whoa.

Starting point is 01:15:02 Sorry, which book? The Illuminatus. Did that? What? The Trinity? You didn't even know. Sorry, which book? The Illuminatus. Did that? What? The trilogy? You didn't even know and it just was there? It was just there. Did that send chills up your spine like it did mine?

Starting point is 01:15:12 Yeah. And then I remembered about 50% of the books in my house were not purchased by me. Whoa. By the Illuminati? They were just there when I moved in. Were you just typing and you looked up and went, hang on a second. I've never seen that before. Yeah, it was floating above me.

Starting point is 01:15:27 Oh, you should have pulled the book because then the bookcase would have probably revolved. Oh my God. And then you work at your apartment. It's much bigger. Oh, that'd be so good, actually. I'd love a bit more space. Yeah. The secret is there's a second lounge.

Starting point is 01:15:39 Oh, so good. All I remember is a secret second lounge. It's very obviously, it's a ridiculous, absurd, funny book. It's obviously taking the piss. There's talking dolphins. Like it's it's very silly. I haven't read all of it. Everything seems silly until you see it for real.

Starting point is 01:15:56 That's true. But from the trilogy onwards, the Illuminati popped up literally everywhere. The Illuminati shows up in countless novels, in movies. They're in Lara Croft's Tomb Raider. Wow. Comics. That Nicolas Cage movie series. They were probably in there, right? National Treasure Nation.

Starting point is 01:16:09 Bound to be, yep. Yep. In collectible card games, such as Steve Jackson's Illuminati New World Order, where the Illuminati- During that? Where the Illuminati of Bavaria face rival groups such as the Discordians, the Gnomes of Zurich, the Bermuda Triangle and Aliens. The Order versus the Bermuda Triangle. They've got an advantage because they can move. The triangle's just there, God. Game, you come to us.

Starting point is 01:16:40 You come here. Come here, I'll fuck you up. Yeah, you come to me. Shout out to my face. So yeah, it all kind of started, it all popped up again in the more modern mindset because of a parody book that was written. Some parody articles that were written to sort of challenge people to like think a bit more about information that they're being shown and then that didn't work and so then

Starting point is 01:17:01 some writers wrote a book because that would be a bit of fun and now people are like Yeah, but But it's again. It's it's a parody. Oh you want us to critically think we get it. I get it. Illuminati's real Illuminati confirmed. We get it. Yeah. Except that some Christian fundamentalists and right-wing extremists argued that both the Illuminati trilogy and the card game under a clever, pseudo-humorous disguise, in fact revealed the truth about the Illuminati. See they're on to it. I knew it.

Starting point is 01:17:30 They're like, no, no, no, it's like they're hiding behind it being just a bit of funny, but actually the truth is in the book. There must be people out there that say, nah, Harry Potter is real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Hogwarts, it's a real place. Yeah. Okay. Okay. They put it's a real place. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Starting point is 01:17:47 They put it out as a book to try and throw you off the scent. They sold 400 million copies to try and throw you off the scent. What? They're trying- They made eight, nine films, too many films. That's why they get- They're trying to get it into the kids' minds. That's what they would have said. Didn't they? Wasn't there controversy at the time that it was like spreading witchcraft?

Starting point is 01:18:03 Witchcraft, yeah. So anyway, that's why Dave grew up to be a witch. Secret witch, sorry Dave. System works, but yes, secret. Yeah, AJ, edit that out. We cannot be revealing that Dave is a witch. Dave is a witch. A high class witch. Sorry, Dave's a bitch. Oh. High class bitch.

Starting point is 01:18:21 A high class bitch. So just sort of finally, while fundamentalist Christians and right-wing extremists regard the Illuminati as a satanic conspiracy, some liberals turned the myth on its head and presented the Illuminati as a secret but benevolent organisation. I've only just learnt the difference between benevolent and malevolent. Whoa. I thought they were, I didn't know they were different. Malevolent?

Starting point is 01:18:46 Benevolent's like kind and cool and chill and- That's me. Love everybody. And malevolent is me. Evil. And I'm a perv. Yeah, you're a perv. Mal and-

Starting point is 01:18:58 And- Ben. Ben. So they're saying, sorry, now I need to just say the context again. I can't remember which one you said. So, like, right wing and extremists, they're like, the Illuminati is satanic. Right. It's mad.

Starting point is 01:19:13 And evil. It's crazy. But then some liberals turned it on its head and like, maybe they're a secret, but like, pretty chill and cool. Yes. And actually doing stuff for good. Stuff's pretty good if you think about it. Yeah, it's one of those. On an average. chill and cool. Yes. And actually doing stuff for good. Stuff's pretty good if you think about it. Yeah. It's one of those.

Starting point is 01:19:26 On an average. But like I said before, most presidents and vice presidents of the US have been accused or confirmed as being in the Illuminati. Do you remember Pizza Gate? Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, yes. I mean, I've heard of it.

Starting point is 01:19:40 2016. So Comet Ping Pong, often just called Comet, it's a pizzeria restaurant concert venue. Pizzeria. In Washington DC. Pizzeria, rise of light. Slash concert venue. Love that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:53 I want to go there. Maybe we could do our show there. What city? DC. DC. Let's do it. Okay. In early 2016, several websites and online forums falsely implicated Comet Ping Pong

Starting point is 01:20:03 and various Democratic Party figures as part of a supposed child trafficking ring, which was dubbed Pizza Gate on internet forums. I vaguely remember it as being like, there's a basement downstairs, the pizza shop is just a front, there's a basement and they're keeping kids down there. And it was debunked by the police, by Snopes.com, by the New York Times, amongst so many others. Snopes is the one I hold highest there. Yeah. If Snopes debunks it, it's debunked.

Starting point is 01:20:33 It's debunked and let's let it go. Move on. Yeah. But the restaurant's owner and staff were harassed, threatened on social media websites, given negative Yelp reviews. It was insane. The internet just decided that this pizza shop was a front and there were children that needed to be saved.

Starting point is 01:20:50 Oh my God. Things got worse when in December of 2016, Edgar Madison Welch from Salisbury, North Carolina arrived with a rifle and fired three shots, thankfully without injuring anybody. He told police that he planned to self-investigate the conspiracy theory and claimed he was there to rescue the children that were kept there by the Illuminati. His self-investigation included firing- Walking into shooting. Wildly firing his shotgun.

Starting point is 01:21:18 It sounds like it went off accidentally. Oh shit. Oh, sorry. Oh, oh. Sorry, where are the kids? And can I have a small margarita? Please. And hopefully those bullets didn't hit the kids that I'm pretty sure are here. So embarrassing. I think I, and this is a vague memory,

Starting point is 01:21:34 but I think I remember people like pulling up plans of the city and something like, there's no basement. Like going to that farm, people's like, nah. But that's- Nah, man. That's the problem. There's kids in there. The Illuminati's keeping kids in that pizza shop in DC. You can't, there's no logic that can be put forward

Starting point is 01:21:52 to beat an argument like that. It's a conspiracy. Oh, the plans say there's no basement? Yeah, they would, wouldn't they? Of course they would. What about the real plans? Yeah, where are the real plans? Maybe if you look at the plans under a blue light, the real plans would be-

Starting point is 01:22:06 Whoa. Maybe if we put lemon juice on it. Blueprint under a blue light. I just watched that show, Trayvon. They wrote them in secret ink. Yeah. So he was sentenced to four years in prison. Despite it being disproven, disproved, many people still believe the conspiracy theory that the venue is a front for a child trafficking ring.

Starting point is 01:22:20 But they're still open as a pizza shop. I'm pretty sure they still are. What's their capacity? A lot of the resources were saying it's like, as of like 2020 or something. Let me see if it is still. I imagine it would be like in a weird way, it would like attract business. Obviously, I don't think it's worth people coming in and shooting up your business and doxing you and- Absolutely not.

Starting point is 01:22:41 Ruining your lives. But, you know, a little bit of a bump afterwards, maybe? Very strange. For a bit. Yeah. And do they have like the basement pizza special or something like that? They just sort of buy into it a little bit. Yeah, it's people. That's one of the pizza toppings. People.

Starting point is 01:22:58 There are obviously a huge list of celebrities who people claim are part of the Illuminati. Beyonce, Jay-Z, Katy Perry, Madonna, Donald Trump. QAnon promotes the idea that Donald Trump is battling the Illuminati. From the inside. While competing theories suggest he's a member of the Illuminati. Whoa. Confusing stuff. Theories were fuelled when Trump appointed George Mentz, author of self-help books referencing

Starting point is 01:23:20 the Illuminati method to grow rich. Mentz's references to the Illuminati were explained as tongue in cheek, but conspiracy theorists saw it as evidence of Trump's ties to the group. I think when the elections happening next month, right, in November. Is that right? The American election? Is it coming up this week, right? So, I think we should say, I think if Trump wins, that proves the Illuminati is real. But if he loses, that proves the Illuminati is real. But if he loses, that proves the Illuminati is real.

Starting point is 01:23:47 Don't you reckon? I think that's the only logical explanation. I think the Illuminati are pulling the strings. Either in a benevolent or a malevolent way. Whichever one. And whichever one you think Trump is, if he's man or male. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:24:05 Haven't met the man, seems like a good guy. We're at 50% of our audience are Trumpians and Illuminatiens. Whether or not, which side that is on, I think 50% are malevolent Illuminati, the other 50% benevolent Illuminati. That's right. Illuminati. It's hard to say, benevolvolent Malumaladi.

Starting point is 01:24:25 I'm driving Bugatti. Anyway, I wish all our American listeners well. Yeah. And hope it all goes good for you. A final word on Adam Weishaupt, which I've said differently every time. To sum it up from wikipedia.org, We-Sharp's character and intentions have been variously assessed. Some took a negative view, such as John Roberson, who regarded Y-Sharp as a human devil and

Starting point is 01:24:52 saw his mission as one of malevolent destructiveness. The bad kind. Bad kind. Others took a more positive view, including Thomas Jefferson, who considered Y-Sharp to be an enthusiastic philanthropist who believed in the indefinite perfect ability of man. That's what Jefferson would think. That's why people are accusing him of being part of the Illuminati.

Starting point is 01:25:11 He's like, yeah, the Illuminati is fantastic. I love the head of my, I mean the, uh, woo. I love my secret leader. I mean that guy. Yeah. In his defense, Y. Sharpe wrote, I'll do some more German for you. Weishaupt wrote, I'll do some more German for you, Kurs reichert fürgang, minor, no, I'm just a brief justification of my intentions.

Starting point is 01:25:30 That's what it was called. It was in 1787 and author Tony Page comments on his justification of his intentions. He says, Weishaupt's plan was to educate Illuminati followers in the highest levels of humanity and morality, basing his teachings on the supremacy of reason, allied with the spirit of the golden rule of not doing to others what one would not wish done to oneself. So that- That sounds like the most confusing way I've ever heard that explained. So that-

Starting point is 01:25:59 Do not undo what you would not undo to undo. Yeah, but it's like, Tony, come on babe, I need like layman's terms here. Tony baby. Tony baby. So that if the Illuminati alumni subsequently attained positions of significance and power, such as in fields of education and politics, they could exert a benevolent and uplifting influence upon society at large. So he was sort of trying to not so much recruit people already in power, but recruit people

Starting point is 01:26:23 who maybe were going to go on and be very powerful and just enlighten them a little bit on opening their minds a little bit. Illuminate their minds. Illuminate them. His project was utopian and naively optimistic and he himself was certainly not without flaws of character, but neither he nor his plan was evil or violent in and of themselves. It is of the deplorable and tragic ironies of history that a man who tried to instill virtue, philanthropy, social justice and morality has become one of the great hate

Starting point is 01:26:53 figures of 21st century conspiracy thinking. So it was kind of the opposite of what it's become. It's what he wanted out of the Illuminati was just like, Hey guys, let's just fricking, let's just like think about things a little more. Let's like be a little open-minded. And it's become, there's kids in this basement of this pizza shop. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:13 The president's in on it. He would find that so bizarre. That would be so. Like what's a pizza? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That is what he'd think. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:24 What the fuck is a pizza? We don't have that in Bavaria right now. But there you go. That is my report on the Illuminati. I hope that was illuminating in some way. But honestly, any of that it is so confusing. And can I be completely honest? A little dull. But. No, I mean, I was like, oh, this isn't quite as crazy as I thought it was going to be. It's kind of like, oh, it's just some people trying to make their own little secret society

Starting point is 01:27:52 back when that was the thing. It is funny. I don't know what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was more American than it obviously is. But the Americans have really taken it and run with it. Yeah. And it was two Play have really taken it and run with it. Yeah. And it was two Playboy authors, two Playboy writers who wrote some, a funny trilogy of books that then made people think about the Illuminati again. I mean, I love it.

Starting point is 01:28:15 It proves that some people do just buy it for the articles. Someone's reading it. That proves it. I was like, wow, they're putting in the letters. They're trying to like, they're trying to make political statements through the letters in Playboy. They know, they're thinking no one's reading this. I respect the hell out of them. Turns out they are.

Starting point is 01:28:31 So there you go. I did look up Germany where it was at in the 18th century. Yep. Apparently it was, yeah, what we were saying. Not yet a fully unified country, but rather a loose confederation of independent states and principalities. Majority of these states are unified into the Holy Roman Empire with the state of Prussia

Starting point is 01:28:51 as the most powerful state throughout the century. There were numerous battles and wars. Yeah. I think Austria got pushed out at some point. Just in case anyone was going, I really need confirmation on that. I must find out. This is episode 471, can you believe it?

Starting point is 01:29:04 Does that bring us to everyone's favourite section of the show, Jess? It does. I just want to say, if we've been put on any illuminati lists, we love you. Yes. We're pro. Just leave me alone. Yeah, we don't want to be- I want to-

Starting point is 01:29:16 Don't take it, don't snipe us out or something. No. But don't try and recruit us either, like I'm just not interested. I would say, look- I'll never think of you again after this. Don't worry. And I will forget all of this, this afternoon. You can trust that we'll go from our brains.

Starting point is 01:29:31 Don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you definitely don't need to eliminate us. Eliminate you. Please. In a malevolent kind of way. No.

Starting point is 01:29:40 You could beneminently. I would be open to be be eminently eliminated. Is it am I remembering a band called like Illuminati Pizza Party or something that got played on Triple J or not? I'm making that up. No, I think there might have been something. I mean, who knows, Dave might have even booked. Oh, my God. Could he have? Well, anyway, that brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we thank

Starting point is 01:30:07 some of our fantastic patrons. This is our sort of very public secret society. Yeah. Where, yeah, if you're on the Sydney Scharnberg level or above, after signing up at patreon.com slash duguanpod, patreon.com slash duguanpod, you get to give us a factor, quote or a question. That's the first section of the show. And actually, when I say the show, I mean this second half of the show. Jess, I think there's actually a jingle that goes along with this bit.

Starting point is 01:30:33 Fact, quote or question. And I think it goes a little something like this. Yeah, like that. And he always remembers the ding, she always remembers the sing. And I'll read out, you know, one, two, three, four, this week four by the looks of it, facts, quotes and questions or brags or suggestions or really whatever they like.

Starting point is 01:30:54 The first one comes from Adam Tripsinski, AKA Move a Shaker and Producer. And Adam is offering a suggestion, writing, hey guys, quick follow up. From my last few, I did get a trampoline for the Triptych Club. Yes. But unfortunately, it's one of those tiny single person ones.

Starting point is 01:31:14 But hey, better than nothing. I also wanted to start a petition to get me on an episode of Who Knew It. Some pros and cons of having me on cons. I'm not a comedian. I don't have podcast equipment. I don't live in Australia. I'm awkward on camera and cons. I'm not a comedian. I don't have podcast equipment. I don't live in Australia. I'm awkward on camera and microphone. I'm awkward around people. I'm around until I know them for a couple of months.

Starting point is 01:31:33 Pros. I knew the answer to a question. Everyone got wrong that one time. If you strongly consider this. Thanks. Honestly, getting the questions right isn't- That's not necessarily something that I'm looking for on the show. That's not a prereq. You don't use the same little quiz to prospective guests and say, hey, see how you go with this,

Starting point is 01:31:53 80% or above you're in. But, you know, honestly, um. I had a complete mental breakdown on a recent episode. In a fun way. It was like fun and hot. Yeah, yeah. So I'm just saying, like, you don't have to be good at anything. No, I thought that was that was really fun once I realised that it was fun.

Starting point is 01:32:11 Because at one point I'm like, should we be stopping? Is she OK? But it's just that my brain wasn't working. But it was, yeah. Once I knew that you were having fun in a weird way. Yeah. I started to really have fun with it. I was on that one too. There's been a lot of great feedback about it.

Starting point is 01:32:26 Yeah, people loved it. Yes, I know there may even be a second one with you too, that came from cheerful. If it would probably be coming out around now as well with Zach and Mish. Very fun. So fun. All right. Thank you so much, Adam.

Starting point is 01:32:40 Tripinski or Chip Prince Trip Brinsky. I should have just got the first one. I don't think it was right, but it was confident. Yeah, and that's something, isn't it? Yeah. Next one comes from Maccada McCray. Okay, Humbled Parent with a quote. "'No, Mum, Matt Stewart is a comedian.'"

Starting point is 01:33:00 Wow. What context does that need to be said? "'My teen said this to me after I cracked a lame joke and proclaimed, I'm a comedian. Brace yourself, Dave. As soon as they can string a few words together, the sass begins. I think we've been preparing you for many years now to cop some sass. With the sass. Yeah. I'm ready.

Starting point is 01:33:22 I think you'll thank us. That is fun. Hopefully with expensive gifts. I'm ready. I think, I think you'll thank us. That is fun. Hopefully with expensive gifts. I'm seeing, Michaela's Kid sees me as the standard for comedian. Yeah, that's nice. As it should be. I see you as a standard of comedian.

Starting point is 01:33:36 Michaela's a humble parent. I'm a humble podcaster right now and comedian. Yeah. Which do you put first? I'd like to put comedian first. Wow. I would like to. Whoa first. Wow Would like to whoa Brittle

Starting point is 01:33:49 But as will Anderson said to us sometime recently like nah people think of you as podcasters Wow, didn't you? I don't know. I don't listen to a word that man says he said it directly to you I just get lost in his eyes when he was on our who knew it and I think you said I'd do other things And he's like Jess. This is what people know you for. I don't do other things. You do the shopping? I do the shopping? For like fun things for me, not for like the household.

Starting point is 01:34:13 Shoes and such. I love to buy those. Which is probably what you'll be doing with Prince Charles while Dave and I do a stand up in London. Yeah. I'll go shopping. Go shopping with Chuckie. Yeah. Chaz. What do you call him in London. Yeah, I'll go shopping. Go shopping with Chuckie. Yeah. Chaz.

Starting point is 01:34:25 What do you call him? Charlie. Charlie. Beautiful. Yeah. He is beautiful. Thank you so much, Michaela. Next one comes from Paul Mellor,

Starting point is 01:34:33 AKA definitely not a comedian, possibly a half decent engineer. OK. But I think he's given us that stipulation because he's offering a joke. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. I heard a great joke recently. Let's hear polls and then I'll tell you.

Starting point is 01:34:48 All right. And then we'll compare. OK, quick joke for you, inspired by the touching the void episode. And he remembered this while listening anyway. Where are the Andes? On the ends of the armies. Oh, that's good stuff. He's got an instruction there. Matt, wave your hands now.

Starting point is 01:35:08 Yeah. The Andes. Andes like hands. No, I got it. I got it. I was saying as I got it. Oh, I see. Because I read it without thinking about it at all.

Starting point is 01:35:19 I just did exactly what the script said. You can't read and think. No. The Andes. Andes. That's like in English. That works much better if it's in English accent. Let read and think. No, the Andes. Andes. And that's like in English. That works much better if it's in English accent. Let me try again. Where are the Andes? Right in the end of the armies. There we go. That's better. Cause

Starting point is 01:35:32 in our accent, it doesn't quite work cause we speak perfectly. Yes. But we speak the Queen's English. That's right. But that's a good joke. I like that joke, Paul. That's a bit of fun. He says, I'll stick to the engineering. You do the comedy. Cheers, Paul. Oh, well that, that opens you up. Nice. Do you want to hear my joke? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:35:48 This was told to me by one of my friend's dads. So you know, it's going to be good. Ooh, yeah. Said what was Elvis's favourite months of the year? I don't know. February, March. That's great. So it's because you desperately went into the oomf with the face.

Starting point is 01:36:06 You have to, otherwise it doesn't make any sense. If I was to say February and March, you'd be like, that doesn't make any sense. So that's where, see, Paul, if you pay attention, delivery is very important. Yeah. So you really- next time you see one in, Paul, write a note saying, get Jess to read this bit. Do you want to try the Andes one? No, I don't. OK. It's beneath me. Next one. February March. Do you want to try the Andes one? No, I don't. Okay. It's beneath me.

Starting point is 01:36:25 Next one. February or March. February or March. Do you get it, Matt? Yeah, thank you very much. Yeah. Or at least people impersonating. Yes.

Starting point is 01:36:38 So the question is, what's his favourite month? Months. Months. Months of the year. Did you see any, when you're in Vegas, any Elvis celebrants? No. Is that big over there? Very big.

Starting point is 01:36:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did not see any, but I didn't spend that. I didn't go to other chapels. Right. I went to one. Yeah. You didn't do a chapel crawl. I didn't do a chapel crawl, unfortunately.

Starting point is 01:37:00 Our last one comes from Patrick J. Early. Insert title here with a fact writing, hello, the Australian phrase no wuckers is a shortened version of no wuckin' furries, which is itself a spoonerism of no fucking worries. Hiding a swear word like this can be known as a fig leaf swear. After my partner and I learned this, we brainstormed a few other spoonerism fig leaf swears to hide them. I love this!

Starting point is 01:37:29 Here are a few of our favourites. Cupid Stunt, Suck Me Fideways. Oh, that's good. Hucking Fell. Can you think of any other common sweary phrases that you can spoonerise in a fun way? I love that. I know like didn't- Duck me fed. Duck me fed.

Starting point is 01:37:45 Duck me fed. I think Metallica had a like a bootleg album called Cunning Stunts. Is that right? But either way that's one. That's good. I like that. Because when it works both ways it's like even better. You know like Cupid stunt.

Starting point is 01:38:02 Yeah. Like if I just had like Sheese of pit, but that doesn't sound like a phrase. Yeah, but it is fun. Still fun. It's enjoyable. Also, my last fact, quite a question, had a question for Jess, who was away at the time it was read. Congrats on the marriage, by the way. I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but it was along the lines of, yeah, if

Starting point is 01:38:23 you've gotten back on the bike since getting hit by a car and what that process was like for you and how long it took you to be able to do that. Maybe Matt can find the original one for better wording. I could. I could, I guess. I guess. I guess it's here. I don't think we got the gist, though.

Starting point is 01:38:38 That's a good find out, I suppose. But then it turns out his question's actually like, what's your favourite colour? I did get back on the bike. I can't remember how long it took. Took a while because I took three, four months to heal. Then I got back on the bike and that was pretty that was pretty OK. And then my bike got stolen. And I then took that as a sign from the universe that I should not have a bike. So I don't have a bike anymore.

Starting point is 01:39:05 I have a helmet. Which you wear. Which you always wear. Which you should wear. Everybody should wear a helmet. Especially around the US, seeing a lot of people riding bikes on roads with no helmet. And I know maybe it's not the same. We have quite strict laws here.

Starting point is 01:39:20 They do motorcycles down there without helmets. That's honestly insane. Well, it's a free country. It is a free country. We live in an anti-state. But you're riding around New York City without a helmet. Put a fucking helmet on. It's insane. You'll die.

Starting point is 01:39:35 They, apparently, there was some study about one of the Scandinavian countries or wherever and they don't enforce it and that's led to cycling become more popular and safer and they have a lot more free roads and stuff. Interesting. Yeah. So the helmet's really a deterrent for people. I think apparently it sort of like subconsciously makes it look more dangerous. Wow.

Starting point is 01:39:59 But yeah, they also have a better culture of like cars respecting cyclists and stuff like that, which we do not have here. We do not have here. Hence one hit me. Yeah. Yeah. They do. And yeah, sometimes they do it on purpose here. It's pretty messed up stuff. But yeah, I don't have a bike anymore because it got stolen and I was like, oh, I got hit by a car and then it got stopped. This is the second bike I had stolen too. I was like, I'm just not meant to have a bike. So that's a pretty boring answer to your question, Patrick, but thank you for, thanks for asking. And thanks for answering.

Starting point is 01:40:27 And be careful on the roads, please. For the love of God. Watch out for Jess. If she ever gets into the bike. Oh God. I just went to the, I went to, I've been seeing a new osteo and she was like, I cannot figure out why the whole right side of your body locks up. It's crazy. Every time I see her, she's like, the whole right side's all locked. I'm like, yeah, that's weird. Cause I forgot that I got hit by a car.

Starting point is 01:40:51 And so then I went back to her a few weeks later and I was like, do you think it could be cause I got hit on the right side by a car a year ago? And she was like, yes. So, you know, even minor accidents. So it locks up. It's all like really, all the muscles are really tense. Yep. And it won't release.

Starting point is 01:41:07 No. Because it's still like the body can remember even if your mind forgets. That's it. Is that true? Yeah. Your body is an elephant. Yes. How dare you.

Starting point is 01:41:17 Your mind is a goldfish. Thank you so much for our fat quotes or questions this week. The next thing we'd like to do is shout out to a few of our other fantastic supporters. Jess, you normally come up with a game based on the topic at hand? Maybe we could come up with their secret society. Oh, great. I'm going to see if there's a secret society name generator. Gotta be. Dave, then maybe you and I can do the honors on the names.

Starting point is 01:41:40 Absolutely. I'll do the places you do the names. How about that? This is a fresh take. Born to do this. Fresh take on an old classic. Jess, you ready to go? Yep. All right. First up, I'd love to thank from Manchester and Great Britain, Sarah M. I found an insane fantasy name generator and it has, okay, maybe company names could work. So we were a bit, we'll maybe even meet Sarah soon because we're going to be in Manchester soon, aren't we? That's right, in Manchester on November 10th.

Starting point is 01:42:13 That is sold out, I believe. At the time of recording, I believe there are 10 tickets left. Oh, so probably further. Try it out, dogoonpod.com for all our tickets. But a bunch of the shows are sold out, but that one's very, very close. Sunday, I have the frog in bucket. Look forward to it. Yes, we went there.

Starting point is 01:42:29 You're also back, Dave. It's an awesome comedy club. So, yes, Sarah M from Manchester. The Society of the Wandering Sisterhood. Oh, yeah, that's very good. That's very good. And that's a company name generator. No, that's that one is order names.

Starting point is 01:42:45 These are orders. Oh, because I was going to say I'd buy shares in that company for sure. 100%. Uh, thinking about Sarah M. From Munich, very appropriately in Bavaria, I believe, in Deutschland. It's Christian Weston. The seeds. Oh.

Starting point is 01:43:04 I wouldn't mess with him. No. That's badass. Yeah. Thank you so much, Christian. From Glasgow in Scotland. I'd like to thank Kirsty Early. The Society of the Radiant Fan.

Starting point is 01:43:20 I really like that. From address unknown, can only assume from deep within the fortress of the Gnolls. Shanna Gnolls? Shanna Gnolls. I would like to thank Hamish Rollings or Hamish Rowlings. The Order of the Fiery Smile. Whoa. That's scary as shit.

Starting point is 01:43:37 That's awesome. Yeah, this is like a smiley emoji with like flames to eyes. Yeah. Yeah. From Liverpool in Great Britain. It's Charlie Ralston. This is what I'm part of. The Order of the Generous Daughters.

Starting point is 01:43:54 Ironic name. Oi! I'm very generous in giving dad shit all the time. I give him heaps of it. Yeah. Try and stop me. From Montrose in Tasmania. Shout out to Rebecca Loring.

Starting point is 01:44:08 The Society of the Wicked Eagle. Rebecca had a question and a reason who knew it. I love the name Montrose Tasmania. I'm picturing a little corner of paradise. Yeah. Very green to me. Yeah. From Huntington in Great Britain. It's Henry Whitaker.

Starting point is 01:44:27 The Order of the Royal Wrath. Whoa. That's pretty cool. From Stockport, also in Great Britain. Shout out to Josh Lyon. The Union of the Barren Moon. That's sick. That's pretty cool. That's awesome. Cause yeah, that's a different moon to our moon,

Starting point is 01:44:46 which is very fertile. Very fertile moon. Very fertile. Yeah, it's gotta be very careful. It's a real fertile myrtle, as my friend said the other day. That made me laugh so hard. Fertile myrtle. And finally from Arau in Switzerland,

Starting point is 01:45:04 which is country code CH. CH and a big CH to Samira. Okay. The Order of the Effervescent Strangers. How good's that? Really good. I love that there's generators for everything. I wonder if we'll see Samira.

Starting point is 01:45:23 I think maybe these people all signed up around the time that we announced the presale, or the Patreon presale. Cause that's, it's no coincidence they're nearly all from Great Britain or Europe. I wonder if we'll see Samira at the Berlin show. Ooh, that would be so awesome. Thank you so much to Samira, Josh, Henry, Rebecca, Charlie, Hamish, Kirstie, Christian and Sarah. I guess Christian also being a German might be coming down.

Starting point is 01:45:49 That'd be sick. And the last thing we need to do is welcome a few people into our most secret of society is the Triptych Club. David, he's really good at explaining this. This is our clubhouse slash hall of fame where we induct people that have been supporting the show on the shout out level or above for three consecutive years, a couple of years back we were together, but to enshrine them forever, we put their name up on the wall, welcome them into the club, and once you're in, you can never leave. But why would you want to? Because we've got bands, food, we've got massages. There's a small aquarium.

Starting point is 01:46:22 Ice hockey tables. Yes. Yes. And they just got Ice hockey tables. Yes. Yes. And they just got turtles in there. Yeah. We've got Moodang is in there. Moodang is in there.

Starting point is 01:46:30 The world has moved on, but we haven't. We got Moodang. Big deal a month or so ago. Ask your wife about Moodang. I don't know what that is. All right, I'll put that on a list of things. If you make a Moodang reference when you get home tonight, she'll think that's very cool and impressive of you. Or she would have thought that if you said it a month ago.

Starting point is 01:46:49 It's that little hippo. I did like that little thing. His name is Moodang. Yeah. And then what's that? What's our penguin? Our sort of pesto. Who I saw a couple of months ago. I think before all the hullabaloo. I wouldn't be going now, let me tell you. Yeah, it was cute.

Starting point is 01:47:07 I can tell you that, but there was no light at the time. I can't believe it's wild. It's crazy. All right, so I've got seven inductees this time. The way it works is I'll read out the name. I'm on the dog at the list. Dave's on the stage. He's hyping you up. Jess is hyping up Dave, but Jess is also behind the bar. And you normally come up with a drink, a cocktail.

Starting point is 01:47:26 Yeah, we've got beer. Yep. Illuminati beers. It's German. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've also got schnitzel, bratwurst, pretzels, sauerkraut. Whoa. Oh my god.

Starting point is 01:47:40 I like most of those. It's gonna be bloody- Half chickens? You got half chicken, we got some sausage. You got pork knuckle? Yep. My god. So, goulash.

Starting point is 01:47:50 Oh my gosh. We've got it all, baby. Apple strudel? Yep! Whoa. Fantastic. And David booked a band? You're never gonna believe it.

Starting point is 01:47:57 What? I've been trying to get this LA indie rock band for several months now, and I've finally said yes to this exact date. please get ready to welcome Illuminati Hotties! Yes! You got the hotties? Yeah! Huge!

Starting point is 01:48:13 Well done! Very exciting that we could get the Illuminati Hotties. Oh, very exciting. And yeah, that thing I was singing of before, that's not a real thing, Illuminati Pajama Party or something like that. No, that did not seem to come up from you. But I mean, why would it have all those months ago? All right, so here we go, Dave.

Starting point is 01:48:32 You ready to welcome some people in with your weak wordplay? Oh my goodness. Hey, unbelievable. The disrespect. I'm actually not quite ready. Just gotta welcome. You just need to- I want the- You don't need- Bumps.

Starting point is 01:48:44 Okay, here we go from Long Beach, California. It's Brian Dennis Flores Been a long time in a long beach been a long Brian. I'm crying without Brian Yeah, okay, that's good enough. Woo! I love Brian, I ain't lying. Stop trying, stop trying. From Roseville in California, please and thank you and welcome Kelly and Kelly Zachrisson. Kelly, get in my belly! I'm doing impressions now.

Starting point is 01:49:25 I'm in helly with that Kelly. It would be our Zachary leads to not let you in. Yes. That's better. From Oklahoma City in the US, it's Adriana Gray. Well, this night was going to be Gray G-R-E-Y until Adriana G-R-A-Y came along. Yes. That's how they spell it in America, but the same both ways, so it will be confusing

Starting point is 01:49:44 for them. From London. Learn how they spell it in America, the same both ways, so it will be confusing for them. From London! Learn how to spell everyone. From London, in Great Britain, please and thank you Alfie Hanks! More like Alfie Thanks. Thanks Alfie! Thanks Alfie. From Brisbane, in Queensland, Australia. We actually pronounce it Brisbane.

Starting point is 01:49:58 Brisbane, I don't know what- Brisbane! Brisbane. Brisbane. Please and thank you Leo McGonagall. Australia. We actually pronounce it Brisbane. Brisbane. I don't know what- Brisbane. Brisbane. Brisbane. Brisbane. Please, thank you. Leo McGonagall. Leo is a- sent me Freo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:50:16 With your presence. Yes. And finally from- oh, and not finally, and penultimately from Rochester in New York, Andy Swibes. Oh my God, Swibesie. Swibesie, baby. Getting my tribesie. Yes.

Starting point is 01:50:28 You're part of the crew. You are my tribesie. Yeah. And finally from Sacramento, go Kings if they in fact do still exist as a team in California, please and thank you and welcome Morgan. I was feeling Porgon. Now I'm feeling rich when I welcome Morgan.

Starting point is 01:50:48 Good Morgan to you. He is so good. Good Morgan to you, Morgan, Andy, Leo, Alfie, Adriana, Kelly and Brian Dennis. It's hard to know if it's a Brian Dennis or if it's a Dennis Flores. You know what I mean? Totally. Because there's no hyphen. I 100% believe me. You get it? You get it.

Starting point is 01:51:05 Now get ready to welcome Illuminati hotties. That brings us to the end of the episode. Is there anything else we need to tell people? Best, best. I went from Bop and mixed it with Jess. I came to best. I like that. Okay, best. No, I thought you said best.

Starting point is 01:51:19 Oh, best. That I like. Okay. I do not like best. What do we need to tell you? Look, four more big topics. Whoa. Right? For Block. We've got a couple of secrets, secret things about to leave. Maybe a guest or two.

Starting point is 01:51:33 No, it's absolutely enormous. So stick around to hear the rest of Block 2024. Stick around for the next three weeks. For the next three weeks. Continue to stick around. You can suggest a topic as well that we can get back to after Block. And anybody can do that.

Starting point is 01:51:50 It's in, the link is in our show notes. It's on our website as well, which is dogoonpod. And you can find us on social media at dogoonpod or dogoonpodcast on TikTok. Dave, business baby home. We'll be back with another fantastic episode. We're hitting into the top four everyone, but until then, also thank you so much for listening. Until next week, it baby home. We'll be back with another fantastic episode. We're hitting into the top four everyone, but until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening.

Starting point is 01:52:09 Until next week, it's goodbye. Later. Bye. Bye. Bye. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we're always here six months later, oh you should come to Manchester, we

Starting point is 01:52:31 were just in Manchester. We were just there, but this way you'll never, you'll never miss out. And don't forget to sign up, go to our Instagram, click our link tree, very very easy. It means we know to come to you and you also know that we're coming to you. Yeah, we'll come to you, you come to us. Very good. And we give you a spam free guarantee.

Do Go On - 471 - The Illuminati

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