Two In The Think Tank - 50 - Smallpox

Episode Date: October 4, 2016

The story of how humans conquered smallpox, a disease that killed billions over thousands of years. There's pus, scabs, orphans, Pavarotti and more pus. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu you you you you you you you you are listening to the golden tonsils himself That's right. It's me Dave walkie. I'm joined by the lesser tonsils of Jess Perkins my esteemed co-host who is also co-hosted by the lesser even lesser tonsils. Oh, no, no, I've matched you. I would call my tonsils

Maybe like bronze. Oh, that's good. So it's just a silver, maybe rusty tonsils. Oh, rusty, yeah, sure. But were you once a precious metal? Yeah. Yep. Does gold rust?

Yeah. No, no, that's not a rusty gold. I've never thought about my tonsils as something to brag about. So good on you, Dave. Thank you. Have other of you had your tonsils removed? No, I've still got them.

Well that's what brings us together here on this show. When I do get them removed, I'm going to get them coated in gold. When you do, we all have to. Where I'm around. Yeah, I would like to say on this podcast that if either of you get your tonsils removed, all three of us should have to go in on the same day and have them removed in solidarity. I agree. I think that's fair. I'm okay with that.

Especially if it's me because the golden tonsils mean a lot. Sure. They mean a lot. Sure, sure, sure. Do you think, like, I'm assuming that you're joking when you say that? No, I'd do it. No, I mean, when he says that he thinks he's the golden tonsils. Oh, I see.

Do you think? I can't tell. I can't fully tell, but I'm just saying. Last week I was like, oh, this is a bit of fun. And then he brought it back this time I also thought he was joking when he wore that pompadour in my sleep, but he still got it on his head I don't know what's real anymore The pompadour as you are referring to his mind you haircut, which is caused a bit of a storm on Twitter

Like admitted it already piling on days Yeah, hey, but you look great. I like the door. And I also sound great with these golden tonsils. You sure do, buddy. Great, awesome. That's where I actually was for those episodes I missed. I was in Europe getting surgery on your hair. Oh, yeah, that's my hair.

On my hair and my tonsils. Yeah, that's right. I've had a hair transplant. No, no, what's actually happened is it's grown out a bit and you've stopped caring. Is that what's kind of happened? Or are you purposefully styling it this way? I thought you were like this is just how my hair is. This is how my hair is but now I've realized that I'm actually happy with it.

I don't mean stop caring but I'm like you're so quiet. Yeah that was actually that was much more offensive than anything you've ever said to me. I'm so sorry. You look like you've just stopped caring. I'm going to let yourself go man. I meant stopped fighting it. Yeah I've stopped fighting it that's actually great. It's great. That's great. You look great. You're beautiful. Thank you. And thanks for all the tweets about the pump at all.

Thank you guys. I just got off the phone because here at the studio is out with our sound guy who we employ every now and then David Ross. He's a big listener of the show. Did you know that? He said Ross. He says as soon as it lands, he makes an excuse to every's

around and he goes for an hour long walk. No way! No matter what the situation, no matter what. Funeral weddings, business meetings. Seriously, like a service that's out. As you ever left a meeting with your self-match, because he's realised that the episode has just hit one o'clock on the Wednesday.

Yes, like one PM Wednesday is Melbourne time. He is like, walk time. Sorry, Matt, I've got to go for an hour. Hey, that's great too, because we're getting him out and doing some exercise. I feel good about that. That's great. Where do you listen? Hey, thanks Dave Ross.

Let us know, where do you listen? Oh, I'm actually very excited, because I just realized before we saw the show that I just hit record for the 50th time. It's taken us a lot of takes tonight, but I've gotten this close to finishing the report 49 times. I will do it. I feel like this is the one. This is the one we got to it. 50th episode. 50th episode.

That is amazing. That is amazing. I feel like... Who do you think would still be alive after all this time? I feel like it would be kind of interesting to go back and listen to the first couple, because, like, while I definitely knew you both, I feel like I've definitely gotten closer to you now that we do this podcast here. Yeah because it was around like was it episode eight when we started sharing bunk beds? Yeah that was probably that it was that was a big

step. Before that we were playing it kind of cool. Yeah. You know like our new relationship we're like oh no I always look this gorgeous. I never found him great. I don them great I don't I don't I don't do a little shoulder thing to the door I don't know if you know so I've just tried to spice up the relationship a little with this new hair But apparently I'd look like I've just let myself go No I didn't mean it like that even though it's kind of how I said it

The words I said were not the ones I meant No it is technically the 50th episode but that doesn't count the three or four lost episodes that we've been before, we went public and brought on our better third. Yeah. Which is Jess. Sorry. They can't see you looking at me, I guess. I should say that, yes, Matt and I did try.

So technically the 50th, 54th episode, I can't remember, but then we just had to start again once we knew the power of the JP. A power of JP. No, really, I think it's just that if you do it this sort of podcast with two people, it's one person doing a report and the other going, uh-huh. Yes. Like you need a third person. A third person to help bring down the report.

And I just happen to be in the same city as you have been doing. And you also have to do a report every second week. Yeah, and edits that show every second week. No, no, no, no. 30 is much better. 40 is too many. Oh, wait too many. Oh, actually.

We did have a fourth month. We got a month. You don't have to do a fourth month. It'd be really good. I mean, in February, other months, you'd have to do it once and a bit of month. Wow. See, that's the logistic. I'm not only a gramma notes, I you're also a weird month-based math notes.

That's OK. You said I was like an... I mean, Dave obviously is an Aryan race. No, no. White power. No, no, no, no. No, I'm not. I can't...

He's not. He's not. He's a skim, perciser. No, no, no. I can't more about calendars than I care about the Aryan race. Let me just put that on record. Where has it? Never thought I'd have to say that, but I... Every week, I can't. No, I can't. More about calendars than I care about the Aryan race. Let me just put that on record. Never thought I'd have to say that, but I, every week I have to say it somehow. Every week you have to say something.

Two minutes in, I have to tell, possibly new listeners that it is a joke that's been going on for too long now. Like, huh? The more I fight it, I know it's like a nickname. The more you try and avoid it, the more people want to see it. Exactly. Have you been looking at the Facebook message inbox lately, Dave? No, I've heard that. I've heard that it came through.

I think it's the last week. I think there's a listener called Ali. He photoshopped a picture of you to make it look very much like you were in the third rock. Oh my gosh. And then he said a message and then a follow-up message came a few minutes later saying, hi this is Ali's dad. Just want to let you know that we don't believe in the Nazi thing. We're not into that.

So they deny that they exist. They said we're not voting for Trump. You know, we believe in human rights. And then Ali came and said, sorry, but that was just my dad. He's a big listener too. Does he actually listen? Hello to Ali's dad. It was a whole fan.

I feel more like I have more in common with Ali's dad than Ali who's doing the Nazi fan art. Nazi fart. Matt's favorite. Matt's favorite. Yeah. Poo go on. Oh, I weird. I hate to hear that. Poo go on.

I was in Newcastle over the weekend. You were? That's right for the National Young Writers Festival. How was it? No, not Newcastle of on time. The Newcastle here in Australia. I met someone who I know there who was a friend of mine, but also listens to the show,

and I would see them there once a year. And one of the first things he said to me was, ah, a poo go on! Yes! And he thought that was so funny. Which it is. It is, Matt. It is. Matt, it's funny.

It's Matt. Matt, it's funny. Matt. We've had some self-indulgent starts the episodes before. This is fun, probably. Hey, 50 episodes in. Either with us or you're against us. You're going to get nostalgic at this point.

Let's all go back. Yeah. Back to episode number three when Jess, this is one of those clip show episodes. So we play clips of the episodes that a lot of people have already heard. It's not like the Simpsons 500th episode where you don't remember every little bit.

It's not like we Simpsons 500th episode where you don't remember every little bit. It's not like we could really do like bloopers shows because we leave all that shit in. Yeah. And we do have some dumb stuff. We do have some dumb stuff. We do have some dumb stuff. And we mean really offensive. Wow, thank God you don't hear what we cut. But anyway.

Until now. Until now that's right. Until I'm caught. This episode I promise not to cut out anything, except the times that you refer to me as a Nazi from here on out. Interesting. Interesting. Much like a Nazi would. Oh, no, no, I have to try and keep it in because I believe in free speech, even though it's denocating my reputation. No, you're right. It's like the more you've fought it and the more of the reaction we get out of you Means we keep going like if it's early on you'd gone. Haha. I am a Nazi sympathizer anyway

Then we probably would have stopped. No, I feel like that could have been taken out of context much like I could take Your voice out of context And just play that on loop for this week's episode is just laughing. I am a Not gonna win set it because you'll do the same to me. That's right. Very smart. I've got something up my sleeve here to keep you in check. Alright guys we're gonna get on with our 50th report. It's quite fitting that it's you do. I was gonna say it's only fair. You're the man who came up with the whole concept in the first place and you're always. I'm glad that's on a record now so you can't kick me out and try and

sell this to some sort of big TV network. And you're out. I did come up with the name though. Remember that. Is that true? Yes, came up came up with the humor. Oh That's right before you get very serious. It wasn't out of comedy show. It was a very serious show Little too serious. I contribute zero knowledge, but a little bit of fun a bit of charm That'll be my my biography I reckon zero knowledge little bit of fun. No bit of charm. That'll be my biography, I reckon. Zero knowledge. A little bit of fun. No, it should be zero knowledge maximum fun.

Stop it. No, but that's not true. I wouldn't lie to people. All right, okay. Even to sell a few extra units. No. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.

I won't bend my morals. You can't make me. I will. I'm only a little bit of fun. All right, you better start referring to yourself as maximum fun. I I'm gonna take that thing out of context and make you sound like a nonsense map do you want to say something that could be taking out a context yeah you can blackmail you with later day gone give me some okay okay I'm gonna mission bloody hell I'm got a big dick right. We'll do that. And then I will...

Oh, no, it hardly fits in my pants. If anything, it's just an inconvenience. I can't think of big old dick of mine. I can't think of any advantages. If I could change one thing about myself. Smaller dick, please. Dear God, why did you give me such a big shlong? Hahaha.

Remember the word shlong? Bring that one back. Not fondly, yes. Oh, fondly. You remember the shlong fondly? I'm dived. Dived inappropriate. Good heavens.

This is a fancy hot cat. Good, good, good great. Good great. Jaisel L'Ois. Oh, step back. Hockey cat. Hahaha. And let me tell you a story. He's so wide.

Damn, very wide. Now you're a six foot therapy dude. So wide. As I quite out and job, that's quite a wide thing. Alright, I'm going to start the report with the questions we always do. My question I'm posing to you is two answers. So you can both have a go with this point H or you can try and get maximum fun or maximum points. As you guys know and the listeners at home also know I'm always the best at answering the questions. You always say you're right. Say that.

I'm trying to brainwash this into thinking that. Yeah and then as soon as I get it right you go I was going to say that. Well I was. Every time. But you didn't. Yeah. All right. All all right do you know the muffin man yes but that is very good but part two of the question that were you gonna say that you probably were I was Jess if you she saw that I was going I just

wrote it down in front of me and said I'm about to say this word I get the chance and then I pointed it on said please don't say Jess because I'm about to say this word when I get the chance and then I pointed it on said Please don't say just because I'm about to say this and then classic JP you're a quick rider give me that yeah I'm a very snappy rider Do you know the only two Diseases that humans have completely eradicated Yes, but you're gonna let Jess answer first and then claim the point anyway. Yes, Jess have completely eradicated. Ooh! Um, yes. But you're gonna let Jess answer first and then claim the point anyway.

Yes, Jess. Two diseases that we've completely eradicated. Yeah. Saturday night fever. That's gone. Well, that. That went out in the early 70s. And the other one. The roll killed Disco. The other one didn't say it. Well that that went out in the early 70s and

The other one killed killed disco The other one I don't say it Is it the it's a pox. It's a kind of pox. Is it small box? One of them is smallpox that is right And the other one which is much less commonly known is it does he's called Rhonda pest Okay, no, I did not know what that it mainly affected animals normally just says it before I did tonight Dave got in for about the save rhino pest close It was an infestation of rhinos the bloody everywhere. Yeah, they get it

We got those rhinos good. They're really small rhinos that crawl on your skin. Yeah, they're pests Bloody pests. And nibble on your huge dick. Or is that just me? I'm nibbling. I had a sugary drink. I feel pretty silly. We're all a bit silly.

We're one sentence in to this report. I was going to tell you that RhinoPest had mainly affected animals. Like Rhino? No cattle and buffalo, so kind of a big animal. Yeah, but not right. Wait, so it's any disease at all? I assume they're human diseases. Yeah, so out of any disease, any diseases.

What are they beating two? They're the only two. The RhinoPest was gone in 2011 and smallpox, which is the topic of the episode here today Cool. That was declared officially eradicated in what decade you have any ideas? 1980s 1979 Yes, yes, Matt was about to say it. Went out with Saturday Night Viva 79, there were like guys, the 80s are all here. Let's fuck this thing off. Let's get rid of this

We did not need another box. No, we've got too many boxes. Don't you reckon I think it's time for a spring clean Let's start the 80s fresh. Let's get rid of a pox chicken pox. No, that's too big We need a smaller box Oh small tiny pox So close. It was officially eradicated in 1979 or declared that but not before killing billions with a bee of people throughout history And I know that a lot of like killed billions with a bee with it. I thought they could only kill once before they lost the stinger Yeah, but what you don't know is if you get stung on the tongue and then you pass a bunch of people I've passed a billion people. Yeah, you have easy. Yeah, yeah if you get stung on the tongue and then you pass a bunch of people I've passed a billion people

Yeah, you have easy. Yeah, yeah, you have I've seen you on the dance floor Next Hit me That's just a joke everybody be on the dance floor is it just a joke? Just a joke But today's topic is smallpox and how the human race got rid of it. Cool. That's right. I mean, it's no serial killer episode.

Well, in a way. In a way that this is like a serial killer, it's like all the serial killers in history put together would not even come close to how many people this is killed. Okay, I'm on board then. So if anything, it's the ultimate serial killer. It is. A lot of people will die in this episode. So our Sikko fans, as I've started calling them, will love this.

I would love this. I won't even bother having a death tally like we've done in other episodes because they'll just be too many good luck And also I don't have a pen nearby Mostly that there'll be too many too many so approximately 10 approximately Very good. She's on fire Matt. Can you match that? Can you match that match that wit? He reluctantly gave me a high five approximately Now I'm saying the correct time ten thousand years ago the smallpox virus developed in what they think came

out of northeastern africa so smallpox spreads through the air and it killed one in three people that got it wow usually within the second week of getting it so you you get it you get sick and then you die often pretty quickly oh no what what's a country in Northeastern Africa? We're not talking like Pyramid area. Uh, yes, that's right. Yeah, it affected Egypt. Did it come out of maybe one of the curses?

Ooh. The Pharaoh. He struck again. He's literally killed billions of people. This crazy Pharaoh. He keeps popping up and out. Well, that is definitely in Northeastern Africa. That's right. Wow. But over the years the smallpox spread around a bit, but it started

again momentum as people started traveling across the world. Obviously you know for a while there we're all in small communities not really asking that we were, that there are other people out there and as soon as people started to mix they brought smallpox with them. Smallpox pops up in medical writings from ancient India. And it is believed that Egyptian mummy, Ramsey's the fifth who died more than 3,000 years ago, is the oldest evidence of someone dying of the disease. They think he died of the disease. Oh, you can die from it.

That's right. Wow, that really, that lifts the stakes. Yeah, that's more than bloody nibbling on your big dick You know, I thought it was just like chicken poxie you get some spots You had a bit itchy it goes away and you never get it. Have you had chicken poxies? I've had it twice Is that possible? Yes Only if you're a freak yeah freak. I had apparently I had it quite mildly when my brother had it my brother 70s older than me and then I got it I got it in

2000 for the Sydney Olympics and My dad was like the whole family's driving up to Sydney We're gonna go to the Olympics and then I got chicken pox You didn't get together. I had to say in Melbourne and my brother got to go to the Olympics Yeah, I feel like I must have mentioned it. Yeah, I think it did. Yeah, yes, to end the question I had. But you have had it too, yeah. I've got scars. Yeah, I don't want to be a kid when you're meant to get it.

Apparently it's much better as a kid. Yeah. Adult chicken pox. Because I told my girlfriend, I think I was talking about this report and we talked about chicken pox. And I was like, have you had it? And she was like, no, like I was weird for having it. No, I think it's quite common.

Now it's very common and much better to get it as a kid. I think they try that's why I'm pretty sure that my parents made me hang around this kid who had it so I'd get it out of the way Yeah, they have to they have like chicken pox parties Yeah, where is like if one kid at school or like even a kinder and stuff like that get it They'll put them all together to play so they all get it get it out of the way I've got a scar on my head from a chicken pox. Party. Party. From when you fell over and bumped your head. Yeah, I started a war on the pox. After doing a yard glass of goon. It was a pretty good party. This will faggot up. So it got to

India they think from Egyptians who travel there then it got to China and Japan. But smallpox didn't get to Europe until the seventh or eighth centuries. There are a few epidemics, but it wasn't properly deadly in Europe until the 16th century. Proper deadly. So then I started getting like out of control. Wow. And because Europe was conquering the world in the century, they spread the disease everywhere else. So once you've got it, they took it everywhere. Europe. The Spanish brought the disease with them to Mexico and then to the rest of South America, where the local tribes who'd never been exposed

to the New World disease were absolutely decimated. Oh, fuck. Wow. This is the same time it happened also in North America, where the native people were estimated to suffer a fertility rate of 80 to 90% in some places. So it really, really hit them hard. Smallpox was also introduced in Australia in 1789.

1789, we've only just got here. That's right, the year after the first sleep ride. The white sirt was, I mean, by way, oh God. All that the disease was never endemic on our continent, which means, you know, practically regularly found commonly among local people. So it was never like a crazy epidemic here, but it was the principal cause of death to our Indigenous Aboriginal population between 1780 and 1870. So our local Indigenous people also suffered a lot.

Wow. Smallpox. I didn't realize it was so fucking good. Hey, kill. In Europe, smallpox was the leading cause of death in the 18th century, killing an estimated 400,000 Europeans every year. Oh my god. Yeah, so people that drop on all over the place. Now, I hear you asking, what happened when you get smallpox? I never said that. Did you? No.

You were thinking it. I actually was. I was going to ask you what the symptoms were and I'm like, you'll get to it. I want to find you. I knew. I knew. Because I hate it when I've planned to say something and then one of you asks it. It's'm like, he'll get to it. I want to find you. I knew. I knew. Because I hate it when I've planned to say something and then one of you asks it.

It's only me. Let's shut up. Now it's usually Matt. Matt. For me. Matt will always ask the question. I was like, what's going to get to your piece of shit? No.

Without loud, I say great question, Matt. It's so fun doing these podcasts with you. Let's be friends forever. But on the inside, I'm like, fuck you. Stuart, your piece of shit. I hate you. Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I'm like fuck you Stuart your piece of shit, oh you Sorry about that. I'm not gonna ask any more questions You just popped out over the big dick. Yeah, you keep that big dick to yourself. Oh, God, please don't

Oh, no, it's it's so it's damaging my reputation as the man with an average size penis All right, Dave. What happens when you get smallpox? I hear you asking, well, I keep saying that out, but it's no longer an issue. There were two clinical forms of smallpox. Varyola major was the severe and most common form, and that's when you get a more extensive rash and a higher fever. And Varyola now is less common, sadly, because it was much less severe,

and another 1% of people died from that one. So that's the one you want it, right? Yeah. But each of these early symptoms were often very flu-like, and you'd get a fever, and you'd start feeling fatigued. And as the digestive tract in your body is also commonly involved, nausea, vomiting and back ache often occur.

Wow, it just kind of seems like a flu. Yeah, then the virus produced... I was just starting to feel a few symptoms. I'm going to be with the back ache and I got smallpox. On me big deal. Looks extra small on this giant dick. Oh, sorry man. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm just going to pop this smallpox.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Is that what it is? No. Well, then a characteristic rash appears, particularly on the face, arms and legs. The difference between, this is how you can often tell chicken pox apart from small poxies, chicken poxies uncommon to go on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet, but small pox went everywhere, so you'd get it.

Well, just imagine the air part of your body, and it would, yeah. What part of your body you were imagining?, what part of your body you imagining? You're dick. I was imagining butthole. Yes, I thought like that. It's uncomfortable. Is it itchy like chicken poxies? I don't think no, will they become clear and they fill with fluid and then later pass.

And then they form a crusty layer which eventually if you survive it dries and falls off. Oh, I love it! I love it so much! And you are often left- if you survive, if you're lucky enough to survive, you're left with hideous scars. Oh, thank god. How do you guys do with pus? Are you like, can you handle pus?

What do you mean, how do we deal with it? No, like, I put, I get a, and use paper and a glass and I take it out. I'm never killed. I never kill pass. I never kill pass. Let me put that on the record. I do that humanely. No, I mean, not do that. That's right.

What? No, what do you mean about pass? Like are you the squeamish with pass or are you? I'm squeamish with everything. I love it. You love pass. How can it be? Is it just your with pass or you I'm squimish with everything. I love it. You love pass. How can it is it just your own pass or yeah? Probably yeah, I can't say I've dealt with other people's pass much. Maybe yeah, you're

privacy of your own home. Privacy of your own pass. Yeah, maybe, you know, but you're nothing you admit to. It's never been a small deal. Maybe a small deal. Sure, a loved one or someone you know you want to get close to Accent you doing not sure I'm the bus king I'm come I'm come from out England. I know I've had like cuts or infections that have passed a little bit It's kind of like oh it's It's great. So you'd love smallpox because there's a lot of passing

Love smallpox you know what's so sad? It's a lot of pass in I can love smallpox. You know what's happening. I'm so sad it's a radicator. Early on in this episode, I reckon a lot of people have already stopped listening. Don't you reckon? I don't know if I'd listen on from here. Yeah, should I? Because of the... Maybe not brought up pass in my minutes.

Because of the pass. You think that's what stopping people? Yeah. I mean, and your white supremacy. And your big dick. And whoop. Yeah, we've all ruined the podcast in one way or another. Yeah.

At least I'm just being honest, you know. I'm just being honest with our listeners. That's all I can do for them is be myself. How do you spell a word like pass? Specifically, the word pass. P-U-S-S. Isn't that a pulse? It's actually, no, it's one.

Yes. It's one S for pass. Yes. No, it's not. I think when youUS? It's actually, no, it's one S for PASS. Yes, I think when you were saying you love PASS, what you were trying to say, was that you love PUS? Matt, you're really the absolute guess. It's one S for PASS, sorry, of course it is. PUS, PUS, PUS. Alright, so you're at the stage where you've got a lot of scabaps coming up. Then the disease can go one of four ways. Goes one of four ways.

You can develop into different types of smallpox. You get ordinary smallpox, modified smallpox, hello, malignant smallpox or hemorrhagic smallpox. Pick one. What would you pick? Ordinary. Ordinary who does? What do we have? I think it means I don't see the good or it means the cancers bad or fine I'm gonna go hemorrhagic makes me feel like hemorrhoids right hemorrhagic which means

Hemorrhagic like out the butt right so I'm thinking oh this episode's I'm gonna go with Malignant Malignant well Ordinary small box with jess is picked is the most common and killed 30% of people. No Modified small box if you pick that that was really if ever fatal so that's one I forgot modified I take model for yeah I want to change I thought because it sounded like I could have been an X-man or something Malignant and hemorrhagic were rare but nearly always fatal

Okay, so Malignant is the opposite of what I was hoping so we should have gone for modified Modifies the one if you were lucky survive. I've got it. It's like you've put a spoiler on it I was just Loaded it to the ground that it usually means that your insurance will be more. That's true. Because you modified your car. So it's like, well, it sounds like it should be a negative thing. If it's modified.

Cops are always putting their canaries on them. Yeah. Ordinary. What's wrong with ordinary? Everybody's ordering more all the life. When business become the first in the previous podcast. I got some friends who used to drive cars when we were 18. And still do now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Is that true? Six years ago? Oh, nice one. Shout out to that lady. Crash it. Did you also buy her outfit? Okay, all right.

It's a bit chilly today and I'm wearing a vest. A little puff of vest and Matt said I look like an eastern suburbs mum who's picking the kids up. Well, he's correct. He's correct. You do look right. Well, I'm come for you, shit. I'm wearing a dune or it's the best. So, I've mentioned the death rate, I've mentioned the scars, I've mentioned the pus, but did I mention the blindness? The blindness.

That's right, if you were lucky to survive, in the 18th century it was responsible for one third of all blindness in Europe. One third of blindness. So if you were blind, one in three of those people is because they survived some more pox that is Ridiculous so like you survive it and you could you probably still Blind yes garden blind so it's wow. I just wanted to put it to Perspective how bad it was yeah, how bad this is these well well none of us at any stage Matt

I'm gonna speak for you for a moment if that's okay Yeah, no, there are us thought it seems fun at any stage, Matt, I'm gonna speak for you for a moment if that's okay. Yeah, it's... Neither of us thought it seems fun. At any point, didn't it? Yeah, no, you really probably didn't need to take the fun out. Yeah, you didn't need to. We were having fun. I... And so it was only a reticator, not in 79.

I wonder, like, how many people did it take out of the peak? Well, I was gonna be a fun fact at the end. No, I was going to be a fun fact. So you did it again. You did a question in the 20th century alone. So a century that we were all alive in. And most of our listeners would probably have at least lived a few years in. It killed between 500 and 600 million people. Holy shit. In a century that we were alive in. 500 between 500 and six hundred million people across the world What's a lot but I'm gonna tell you how we got rid of this 22 million similar to our download numbers. Yeah between five and six hundred million. Oh

A century. Oh, yeah, we could do that a century. Yeah, we kept this going for a hundred years Oh yeah, or we could do that a century. We kept this going for a hundred years. Now, there were some early forms of vaccination that people undertook to prevent the terrifying disease. So people were looking for a cure forever because, you know, the pox would come to town and it would be awful. The pox would come to town. Much like Santa Claus.

That's right. It's just terrifying to children. Oh my god, the pox is here! Can't believe it's that top of a year again! Oh my god, it's gonna kiss mum under the mistletoe. Yeah, then she'll pass it up to Dad of the old old old old old! Okay, blind! Best case scenario!

Let's roll that up! I know the earliest e-recorded example of preventing smallpox was in 1022 in China, a Buddhist nun would get smallpox scabs, grind them up, and then blow them into the nose of people she wanted to inoculate. The right nostril was used for boys and the left for girls. Okay, well that... What's the nostril thing got to do with it? That's part of the- the- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n- the n Put it in a pipe and then blow it into your nose and that sounds weird to the none that what you did this correctly She noticed that if you got smallpox and survived you never got it again So you were immune for life essentially so by blowing the scabs of someone into a healthy healthy persons nose The person had more protection and there were less likely to get smallpox would actually work

I could actually prefer the needle to the arm rather than some dust dust. It doesn't scare about my nose. I reckon just kill me. Is that an option? Yeah, is that a choice? If you want. Why go straight to that option? I'm just not enjoying this podcast. Okay. Now by the 1700 we cut cuts 7 centuries forward, people had noticed that the immunity that survivors had and a preventative measure called variation, variation was quite common, variation. Variation. This was doctors, you're not going to lie this man, cutting off infected people's scabs and then precisely cutting a healthy person four or five times on the arm and then putting the scab inside the wound and then

banishing it up. So you would often get a little bit sick, you'd get a little bit sick, but then you would be immune to the proper disease for life. It looks like an early immunization. Yeah, so this is like the first type of immunization, that's right. Wow. And it did the job. That's so gross though. Alright, I take the dust up the nose then.

Yeah, what do you take that all right either them like cutting me and inserting somebody else's scab into my arm? I'll I'll shelver though But do you still get the none to blow it up there? I'm not cured yet Yeah, Dave take take this seriously. The right half of the boy is the left to go. Oh, look, yeah. Why does that menu have got...

Moving on, Dr. Sauterman opalized this very simple treatment by convincing the public that the procedure could only be done by a trained professional, because really, they're just taking a scap, cut you open and put it in there. But they wanted to make money off it. So the procedure was proceeded by a severe blood letting, you know, with a drain your blood. In order to purify the blood and prevent a fever. So that's absolute bullshit, but they just did that to try and make you think, oh, I

won't do this myself, I'll go and pay the doctor for this extra procedure. Oh, that's yuck. Yeah. Are the main four others of this English variation movement worth a suttons, a family of physicians, the suttons, who would revolutionize the practice of variation? The patriarch, Robert Sutton, he was a surgeon from Suffolk, who began experimenting with the practice of variation.

He kept his method a secret and only passed it down to his three sons. The mystique and effectiveness behind his new method helped promote the business which sued became wildly successful, so they had a really high success rate, so people started going to their families would do it. Wow. They established a network of ventilation houses and clinics and often franchises to other regulators for a share of the profits if they signed a contract saying that they wouldn't say how the what the family secret method was. Wow. What was their secret method? The success of their method play in a shallow scratch. Careful selection of only mildly affected donors and no bleeding or extreme virtue. So they notice that if you make people bleed

it doesn't help them survive. Interesting. That was their secret method. Interesting. Okay. Okay. Don't make them bleed. Don't make them bleed. Okay.

Don't cut them open for no reason. I'm no doctor. But that sounds pretty good to me. Yeah. Sign me up. I like any situation where I'm not bleeding. Yes, I am. It's hard to think of a situation where I'm enjoying bleeding. Yes, it's hard to think of a situation where I'm enjoying bleeding.

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So what you think is a horrible thing that you would rather die than do Matt other people were like Thank you God for letting us save people Yeah, quote oh big dick shoot over But, Matt, the problem with variation, it had a big catch, and that is that it was not 100% safe. People could develop full blown smallpox, and between one and two percent of people would get it and die. That percentage is still a lot lower. Still, a lot less than 30%, right?

But the thing is, you wouldn't definitely get, you know what I mean? If you get smallpox would you are likely to because it's so widespread. So it's hard to choose. Would you roll the dice, go for this one but two percent chance or risk getting it and then having the 30% chance less the scarring and blindness. Who knows? Because there's always a risk of the, also there was also a risk of the variation starting an epidemic in the town. So if one person got four bonus smallpox and they could

give it to everyone in the town. So a little bit, a little bit dodgy. It's very risky. Then we enter a very famous man named Edward Jenner. We enter him? Jigslowwee's. One of the time Matt goes last. It's like Magic School Bus.

The bus gets real tiny, we go up and I love that. Edward. I did not get that reference. Magic School Bus. I think it's because it gets tiny and goes up the bus. It's just like a... The preferred entry method of the Magic School Bus. School book or a cartoon show? Both.

Oh my goodness, maybe I do know it. Yeah, it's like a magic school bus. Yeah. Yeah, now I remember that. Edward Anthony Jenner was born on 17th of May, 1749. In Gloucestershire, he was the eighth of nine children to a Vicar. During his school years, he himself

was very related for smallpox, which had a lifelong effect upon his general health So he had ongoing sickness because of it. Oh, no In 1770 Gen. Gen. Gen. Gen. Brachymitus in surgery and anatomy three years later. He became a love that is three years later He became a successful family doctor and surgeon Practicing on dedicated premises at Berkeley and surgeon, practicing on dedicated premises at Berkeley.

Jenna met his wife when he was experimenting with balloons. Does that sound like you guys like she walked in on it? He was putting him in his bottle. Yeah, he was trying to have sex with it. I was just fucking knock. I flipped, shit popped. No, the story goes that his balloon descended A slipped shit popped! Hahaha! Oh! No, what the story goes that his balloon descended into King's coat park glossage here, owned by Anthony King's coat, one of whose daughters was Catherine, his future wife.

Ah, so he's ballooned! Flows it in and all sounds like you from his own mouth. It all sounds like you from his own mouth. It all sounds like you from his own mouth. You know how people get named after their surname comes from their job? The King's Coat, do. It's got on the King's back and kept him warm. The King men coat.

Before the invention of wool. And it's what they used to call a big spoon. Yeah. Um, King's Coat. Shocking King's Coat. Ah, I've got to be King. Ah, I've got to be King. I've got to be King. This sucks. I hate being King. Much prefer to be the coat.

I like being the coat because of my arm goes dead. Oh, look at balloon. See, I remember what it's like to have somebody that spins you. Oh my God. God, you have a great memory though. If it goes back that far. It's so long ago. Oh my god, I was kidding.

At the time, at the time of Jenner's time, balloon man's time, let's get back to balloon man. Balloon fucking man, yep. At the time, it was a common observation that milk maids were generally immune to small pucks. Ooh. No one really knew exactly why. They just never seemed to get smallpox.

The little hats and the little insects he made out for the day war. That war's off anypox, am I right? Boys. Gen-gen-gen-gen-hypothesis- that cows suffer from a disease called cowpox. Which is very similar to smallpox, but a lot less deadly.

So humans can get it. Nellielly, every farm you have a pox. Pig pox. Pig pox. Pig pox. Chicken. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

What else are farm you have animals? Goose pox. End of list. See rest of list. So Jenna noticed that he thinks the cow pox is similar to smallpox. He's he decides he postulated love that word that the pus in the blisters that milkmaids received he postulated he he postulated that the pus in the blisters that milkmaids received from cowpox protected them from smallpox. So they'll milk the cows and then they would get this cowpox in their hands. Yeah.

Yeah. What's your hands, you dirty bitches? Dirty. You dirty cow milkers? What did I say? No, no, no. It's very funny, though. On the 14th of May 1796, Jenner tested his hypothesis by inoculating...

His hypothesis. His hypothesis by inoculating... He's high-poxithous. He's high-poxithous by inoculating James Phipps, an eight-year-old boy who was the son of Jenna's Gardener. Do you miss the good old days when you just test shit on a kid? Yeah, especially not your kid. Yeah, it's a gardener's kid. Hey, I employ your dad. I own you.

Let me... Come here. Leave me with some pox in your arm. Come here, kid. So he scraped a pus from the cowpox blisters on the hand of serenelms. And milk made who'd caught cowpox from a cow called blossom.

Oh, blossom. More like poxum. Am I right? Thank you, well. Now, good on your blossom. We're doing your best. Yeah, so there's, you can tell the difference between the poxas.

Obviously, the cowpox looks a little different only viewers ever observe very close that people didn't know early on that chicken pox and smallpox were different to people's started looking really closely that they the soles look a little bit different Yeah, the chicken pox look like small roosters yeah that's right and then of course that's why it gets a stamp from that's what it was. Oh, it's a rooster. Yeah, that makes sense. Rooster being a male chicken. Right, okay.

So duck. Male duck. If you type two ducks together, it looks like a chicken. What do you want to do? What do you want to duck? Well, you get a cap of cats and chuck them in a bag. What? It's a...

It's a shave. Yeah. Chuck it over your shoulder. It's Lan Chen dinner, innit? Sorry, what was your question? I'm so confused. I'm fucking up for the services quote. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's like, oh, chaos don't look like chaos on film.

You got to pain of horse. What do you do if you want a horse? Usually, a bunch of cats to get with. It's very good. So good. Yeah, good. General inoculated, fips the eight-year-old boy in both arms that day.

So we went a little, we went a little variation. And then crazy. He turned into a spider, man. Well, subsequently, he got a fever and some uneasiness, quote, but no full-blown infection. Hello. Full-blown. Later, he injected eight-year-old boy

with very illus material. A different eight-year-old boy. Same boy, same boy. You've forgotten his name, you just call him eight-year-old boy. James Fipps. Fipps. This time he did the cut thing with proper smallpox in it, and no disease followed. The boy was later challenged with other

Variolis material and again showed no signs of infection. A.K.A. he kept putting shit in the kids' arm and he didn't get sick. Yeah, and he remained Spider-Man. Yeah, that's right. He kept him going. He couldn't risk losing his powers. So, Jenna was like, hey guys, I found a much less dangerous way of inoculating people. Also, I invented the term vaccination.

Cool. Cool guy, which comes from the word for cow. Accination. What? Cool. What's the word for cow? Oh, I know that in Spanish, Vaca is cow. Okay. But, sorry, I assume that other languages are similar to that.

But I just read that. He coined the term vaccination. You're a Vaca, fucker. Jenna successfully tested his theory on 23 other subjects. I'm not sure how many of them were eight-year-old boys, but he kept testing it. Probably a few. He continued his research and reported it to the Royal Society,

which did not publish the initial paper. After revisions and further investigations, he kept publishing his findings on the 23 cases. Just on blogs, mostly. Yes, it was blogging, not getting enough credit, because... Zains. Zains. Insta.

Self-published. Just tweets, just really short... Like, just a whole bunch of tweets Hey guys, I have discovered one of seven The medical establishment were cautious about publishing that there was a miracle prevention because you know Obviously if they said that and then it turned out to be wrong and people started dying That would be pretty bad So it took them a long time before that they published his findings.

The news did spread around Europe, like, hey guys, there's this queue. But it wasn't until 1840, 44 years later, that vaccination was accepted by the British government, who then decided to ban variation among me, cut the arm. And the use of smallpox, sorry, and they decided they provided a vaccination using cowpox free of charge. Oh wow. But that was after Jenna died though.

Like Obama, yeah, sort of thing. That kind of thing. Yeah. That was, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like Yeah, right. But that was after Jenna had died in his lifetime. He was supported by his colleagues and the King in petitioning parliament So he kept trying to get this cure out there He was given 10,000 pounds for his work on vaccination bit of a reward. Wow. He's given another 20,000 pounds a Few years later and in 1821 later in life he was appointed physician Extraordinary to King George the

fourth. Whoa! That sounds good. Doesn't it? Doesn't it? It does. It sounds like the kind of gig that would have a lot of pass but a lot of push. All the King's push. I hate myself for that. I really do. Do you remember James? One of my favorite moments of the podcast over. Wow. And they got to episode 50 before I fucking made you smile. It's a piece of shit. I meant this episode dickhead. I'm not in front of the children. No, we're all good mates. You're telling Dave that. It's okay Dave. It's a hey hey.

Hey, we're all good mates. It's okay. No, Jessie and Maddie love each other see see hold my hand hold my hand hold my No, remember remember I'll let you old boy James Fips do I ever Fipsy Later in life Jenna when he got rich gave him his his family a free lease on a cottage as a way to say thank you Oh wow, so you got something for being like a super hero. Just a free lease. No, a free lease. Hey, but when you die, I fucking want that.

Yeah. Wow, that's nice. That is. That is super powers and free rent. But our story does not finish there. Oh, and then as soon as he was in the house, he just started putting more shit in him He'd wake up

Again get out of it. I'm gonna touch my butt. Oh hang on Does that put us none But obviously smallpox is around for another 200 years, so it takes a few more people to get rid of this disease. So suddenly there's this safer way of anoculating people, but you've got to get this vaccination out there. Millions of people are still getting infected every year, and it's going to be nearly 200 years before it's fully eradicated.

No, but I know that at the bloody time. Some of the hard people, some of the hard working people, some of the hard bloody time Some of the hard people some of the hard working people some of the hard people some of the hard people Matt Yeah, I want to say me I can't get out of the room It's out the door it is a burden Some of the hard working people were part members of the Spanish to Balmas expedition. Balmas?

Balmas. Oh, I was like, sigh, don't. No, I'm listening. In response to a large outbreak of smallpox in the Spanish colonies, like South American places that they were at Conqueringlaka, I said before, King Charles IV appointed Francisco Xavier de Balmas. He gets IV appointed Francisco Xavier de Balmas. He gets hate support. De Balmas. Francisco. Francisco. Xavier de Balmas, he was appointed to lead an expedition that would introduce

Jenner's vaccine to these colonies. So, Spain conquered most of South America, which is why the majority of countries there speak Spanish Monday. King Charles IV of Spain became passionate about protecting against smallpox as he himself, as most of Europe had been personally affected by the virus. His brother, his sister-in-law, the Portuguese queen had all succumbed to smallpox and the King's daughter and another princess were all infected with a smallpox virus but survived, so they'd gotten really sick but survived. So he was like, I want to get rid of this thing. How can I get the anoculation and the vaccination over to South America?

The unaffected members of the Royal Family used the old variation method but they were left really badly scarred. So he was like, I don't want to do that to my people. Yeah, but chicks dig scars. Skars are cool. Right, guys? In all contexts? Yes.

Alright, pass me the scalpel, bro. Yeah, I'm gonna carve fuck you, Jess, into my chest and see how much you like this one. Yeah, I could ignore the fuck you bit. Oh, Jess, it tributes. He got my name on there. That's nice. So I once said the king, uh, Jenna's book about his new discovery and he was like, no, that sounds really good. I want to send that across Spain. Back before bloody eye books, you know. I can just download him.

Oh, imagine how much easier it would have been. J.S. Always. Good, great. Well, the king started getting pleased from his South American colony saying, hey, we're suffering epidemics. Can you do something about it? So he called a meeting with Joseph Flores, the king's court physician, who was consulted please from South American colony saying, hey, we're suffering epidemics. Can you do something about it?

So we called a meeting with Joseph Flores, the King's court physician, who was consulted because he was originally a Mexican guy. And Dr. Flores told the King, how about we send a load of Spanish ships carrying the vaccine to the new world? So that sounds good. It's good, I'm a great plan.

Maria Peter. Maria Peter, PRTA, like Peter Brett, was selected for the expedition. That's the name of the ship, and it was named after... Wait, the ship is called the expedition. No, it's called Maria Pita. The Maria Pita! Okay.

Okay, yeah. I thought Maria Pita was a person. No, no, that's the ship. Maria Pita is a ship. And then it's called the Balmasex vision because it's named after Francis. I thought they called the that's the ship. Maria Peter is a ship. And then it's called the Balmasec vision because it's named after Francis. I thought they called the ship the expedition. And I was like, well, that's silly.

That's going to be confusing. But now it's better than that. But is that just as silly or possibly more silly? No, that's great. I like ships with good names. You're so weird in that way. I was just thinking that like, I'm popular opinion. Yeah, she is in that way. I'm just thinking that like, I'm popping the opinion.

Yeah, she is. I like it. What would you name your ship? The Mats Stuart. Haha. SSB. He's a big shithead. Haha.

I'll get it. They'll pull back and review. I don't know what they call them. Yeah. Just to do. The SS Big Dick. SS Big Dick. What would you call your ship? Ship. The SS big dick.

What would you call your ship? Ship. It's not like a yacht, it's a ship. Oh, it was big. Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. Or a yacht. What did you never boat? That's why I'd call it my dick. Oh, yeah.

It's not funny when you do it. Yeah, come on man. Stop boasting, all right? Make some of us feel a little inadequate. Stop boating. Almost made sense. Yeah, you can text a little bit. Stop boating.

But guys, there's one small problem. I don't know what was your ship called. Don't fucking just bob us off. My ship is called, but guys, there's one small problem. I like it. And that problem is here. And that's the... No, you get on board and there's no steering wheel.

It's very, very inconvenient. It's not a small problem I feel. I feel And that's the other spur. No, you get on board and there's no steering wheel. It's very, very inconvenient. It's not a small problem, I feel. I feel like that's kind of important. I just don't want to make a scene. I didn't want to tell anyone. And then we're halfway across the Atlantic Ocean. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I don't have a wheel. Yeah, we're not turning.

We're not. We're straight lines, good. Or if the water changes direction a little bit, that's the way we go. If anything, I'm doing God's work. My boat's called God's work. God's work. God's work is floating aimlessly apparently. That's what I'm doing. What do you want it? What do you want it for all of us? Tell us what you'd name your ship. Are you talking to the listeners? Yeah. Sorry. You made eye contact with me. Yeah. And I'm like, I just did. It's called God's work or but guys this once more. I'm

saying I made eye contact with you during the recording of our podcast. I will continue to steer it. Never again. Put your sunglasses back on. Roy Alps and style. That's gonna say Ray Charles. Oh. I'm gonna call my ship SS hashtag cane for pain. Oh, that is good. Tribute. That's nice. Mine will be hashtag, no, no hashtag required. Mine will be, who go on? Oh, yes.

It can be. It can be to match to it. Fuck. It wasn't recently. Dedicated. Their favorite hashtag was hashtag shut up I can do this, because I couldn't figure it out one day. Shut up I can do this. Shut up I can do this because I couldn't figure it out one day. Shut up I can do this.

But I fear we have to talk more about some more books. Bought some more fun. The problem was how do you get the vaccine all the way from Spain to the new world because boat trips at that time would take several months. And remember, at this time, the way to get the vaccine from someone was to get someone with cowpox who was recovering and you get a bit of their scabs. But by the time they get to Mexico or Colombia on the other side of the world, anyone with cowpox would have well and truly recovered, right?

So it was decided they would get some orphans and make them carry the virus. The 22 orphan children were back in little bum bags. Why did you choose orphans? They just look so cute. There's some red ones and some green ones. I mean the bum bags, not the kids. They're a green children of all people. They all tie together, I love that.

The 22 orphan children were all between the ages of 8 and 10, had it never been infected with smallpox or had not been previously vaccinated before. The plan to carry the vaccine consisted of the passage of the fluid from one child to another. So you'd get sick, and as you start to recover, we'd get a bit of yours and then give it to Matt. And then as Matt started to recover we get a bit of yours and then give it to Matt And then it's Matt's side of recover you give to me and this went down the line so that they kept the the virus alive But like the kids were all okay. Yeah, it's fine. They didn't die. Yeah, okay. Why won't I'm not saying okay? Like I've got that's all right then, but I mean oh yeah Yeah, why why won't the kids die? Oh?

Because it's um a cow pox is actually not very deadly. Oh, they've got cow pox, yeah. So, but that's not, they don't have that in Columbia and Mexico at the time. So they have to try and bring it over there. To then immunize them. They were placed under the supervision and care of a director of a local orphanage.

Oh. She brought her son along too, so he could contribute to the mission. Oh, good job. So she sacrificed herself. But what's so weird is imagine being in that board meeting. Yeah. All right, I got a 22 orphans.

Like, what the fuck? Yeah. That's so good. I love that, that that's their answer to everything. Yeah. It's like, how can we stop the river from flooding every year, 22 orphans? Give me 22 orphans, I can solve any problem.

Yeah, building of that church is taking a while, isn't it? How do we speed that up? 22 orphans. 22 orphans give me 22 orphans I can solve any problem building of that church is taking a while Isn't it how do we speed that up 22 orphans my god? Balmous you've done it again. What should we name that that trendy cafe down the street 22 orphans? I love it That's a good name for a ship to the SS 22 orphans. Oh poetic I would like to say the kids in Balmus's own recordings of the expedition, he expressed on many occasions his gratitude for the tender care of the orphanage director. He's recordings are mostly him playing the guitar. The complete recordings of Zavier Tabalmus.

They said Tether was a good girl. Never want to be late. Come then, come then. Why don't you get it, Jack Johnson? I don't know. He wouldn't do that to orphans. I thought I was, I just thought, who's someone silly?

I thought that was the silliest. That was the silliest thing I could think of. It was Jack Johnson, it was the silliest thing you could think of. You're a comedian. It's a good guy. And the silliest thing you could think of. I'd love to see your improvisation troop. Give me a person. Jack Johnson.

All right, I need a location. Jack Johnson film clip. Ben still are on the beach. I think like because you I mean what would tell me sorry I know you're very good at comedy you know obviously you want to teach me a little lesson here what would you have said? Peter. That is funny. Well there you go you've gone for too much.

No, it's absolutely. Peter Cooke is very funny, but. And Cilly, Jack Johnson is a very popular... But Jack Johnson is more recognizable. Yeah. So you're on board with calling Jack Johnson Cilly. It was in this context, very funny. I reckon there's people chuckling away big time at home and on the

train. You're chuckling out you mate, chuckling out you. Let us know what you thought of the Jack Johnson reference. To be honest I missed everything that came before it but I heard guitar. I said in Balmus's recording so he's okay he's diary and just said oh mostly like guitar recording. It was quite funny it was actually a pretty good idea. Oh no you're already made a joke. Yeah and then you fucked it by making a reference to a very successful pop artist. I mean pop folk. But I'll still folk. Very like just very funny. Hmm. Agreed to disagree. There's a televersa girl never gonna And it actually makes sense. Maria Pitta Pitta is on the window.

Maria Pitta. The group, back to Bollmas. They divided into two groups and then divided against and now there's four different expeditions so they can cover more territory. They hit up what is now Venice Wailer, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru, Cuba, and then over to the Philippines. The territory covered by the expedition

in the Americas and Asia was not only vast but also brutally harsh with dense jungle mountains and uncharted rivers and they're taking these orphans everywhere they go. It was very hard going and all up the journey took seven years. Oh wow. Everywhere they stopped the balma set up local vaccination boards that continue to produce cowpox vaccines. So once they, you know, get the cowpox in that area then they can keep it going themselves rather than having to keep the orphan there. With the orphans of fucking teenagers now. Yeah. But most of them were resettled in Mexico and lived their lives there. Wow, okay. I was gonna it's gonna be like with their families

That's the point they be often. Oh, no They be often David And they kept local records of who was vaccinated and then tried to Prima any any of those local records by Jack Johnson They say We can we think of any other Jack Johnson. They say that it was a good idea. Can we think of any other Jack Johnson song? I'm trying to.

I like Jack Johnson so much. Oh, no one. You're like the one I love. The singer I love don't need to tell me they're funny. You know who's funny than Jack Johnson? I have a rope-teak. That's funny. He's a de facto. That is very funny. They say Pavarotti bit to bit is on the window.

Oh! Look outside. Pavarotti. What are we talking about? It's such a delirious potty. So good. Pavarotti is that you? Pav? Rotti? Pavarotti pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita pita Peter Pan is a yeah that's good. Peter Pan is nice. Pavarati, Peter Pan is on the window. Oh, that is nice. I think that is right for a weirdo, Yankovych first. That's sweet.

You heard it here first. That's all sweet weirdo, guys. We've got a big, that is a hot take and an old classic tune. Yeah, it's just ready to go. You know that song from 2002 and that singer that died probably circuit 2002. Oh! Pat, are you okay? Stop pitter pattering on my window.

I'm trying to slip. Alright, fun a bit of debauchess. Debabus returned to Spain in July 1806 and presented his activity reports to the Council of the Indies, which has been set up. But a few years after the expedition, Dabamas died practically neglected and forgotten. But like the orphans he stole.

Yes, but he, all and all, over 100,000 people were inoculated by his group and then that spread, That's a big part. That's amazing. Then we get to the nearly to the 20th century. In the United States, first in Massachusetts, then other states, they're required smallpox vaccinations as passed as a government law. And all of those, some just like this measure,

as they still do now, with vaccination and stuff. A coordinated efforts against smallpox went on and the disease continued to get less and less common in developing countries. And by 1897, smallpox had largely been eliminated from the United States. In northern Europe, a number of countries had eliminated smallpox by 1900 by anoculating people.

And by 1914, same year, either First World War broke out, the incidents in most industrialized countries had decreased to comparatively low levels. So it wasn't a common thing anymore. Australia and New Zealand are two notable exceptions, neither experienced endemic smallpox, like I said, it never was like a common thing here. And we never had to vaccinate widely

because we were protected by distance and strong quarantine. Yeah, finally being really fucking far away from everyone finally pays off. But Jess, someone about it's going to have to change here because this century that's about to start we lose five to six hundred million people, right? That was in Europe. No, sorry, that is across the world, mostly in poorer countries. Yeah, no, I mean, that was in Europe. No, sorry, that is across the world, mostly in poorer countries. Yeah, no, I wasn't suggesting that was in Australia.

Someone's got to change. Someone's about to go wrong in this next century. Oh, well, so some more boxes hardly over during the 20th century, because so the wealthier, the industrialized countries were getting rid of it, but across the world, in many places, in Africa and Asia, particularly particularly it was still very common in Even by the early 1950s only 20 years before they get rid of it It's an estimated 50 million cases of smallpox occurred around the world every year

Wow And as recently as 1967 so just about 10 years before they got rid of it the World Health Organization Estimated that 15 million people contracted the disease and two million died that year. Wow. So it was really, really bad. But a major contribution to smallpox vaccination was made in the 1960s by Benjamin Rubin.

But, oh. Benjamin Button, that's right. Yes. And American biologists, microbiologists, are based on initial tests with textile needles with the eyes cut halfway out. He developed what is called bifurcated needle. It's like a sharpened two-prong fork, so it could hold one dose of freeze-dried vaccine and something else as well. I don't know what the other thing is, but it's like, it's his same. Easy to use with minimum training. It was cheap to produce. It was only $5,000 for a thousand

doses of this stuff. It used four times less faxing than other methods and it was reusable after people flamed sterilized the needles. You run a flame ever, then it wouldn't spread disease. It was used globally in the World Health Organization, smallpox eradication program in the late 60s, and it was estimated that 200 million vaccinations per year occurred during the last years of the vaccine. Wow. So they started, they actually consciously decided we want to get rid of this disease. It wasn't like we want to control it. It was like we want it.

This is the one we're going to get rid of. Wow. So wipe it out. They should do that with other things too. Yeah, I reckon they should. Yeah, they totally should. Yeah. Now the World Health Organization, they traveled to wherever they were outbreaks with the

goal of trying to get rid of the disease, so everywhere it was. But the last case occurred in the Americas in 1971 in Brazil, Asia in 1972 in Indonesia and Indian subcontinent in Bangladesh in 1975. After two years of intensive searches, what proved to be the last endemic case anywhere in the world was in Somalia in October 1977. Wow. Australia and microbiologist, Frank Fener played a key role

in verifying eradication and traveled to the Horn of Africa, which is where Somalia is. The last place where the disease was still recurring. And it was very difficult because it was very war-tongued at the time. On your frank. What a guy. On your. And then, on your.

And the last case was 1977, where they wanted to play it cool. So it wasn't until 1979, they were like, guys, we did it. It's gone. It's gone. They're trying to play it cool. But the last person to die from smallpox was in England in 1978. A medical photographer at the University of Birmingham, Janet Parker was accidentally exposed to a strain of smallpox virus that had been grown at a research laboratory on the floor below her

workplace. It got through the ducting. Oh, fucking hell. Oh wow. And the virus just spread through, and then she contracted it, and then a couple of weeks died. The outbreak resulted in 260 people being immediately quarantined. So like, her family, anyone that had had any contact with her, or anyone from that unit was put in like a two week quarantine. Like it was like legal, you were legally required to stay in your house.

And of those potentially infected, only her mother contracted the disease, but she survived. The hospital where Janet Parker had died was sealed off for five years after her death just because they were really worried about it. And all the furniture equipment inside was left untouched like the whole five years. The whole ward. I would have burnt it down. Just sit, you have to say, sit, well, the furniture, I'll sit fire that and then just give the water really good clean a really good scrub Yeah, easy off bam I reckon bam and the boxes gone We just got a photoshop so I can make that out of small parks no troubles. That's great. It'll get with kitchen grease

Grime box box of all gosh shower scum I would have kitchen grease. Gron, I'm pox. Pogs. Of all kinds. Show us gum. LAUGHTER So it's gone in the wild, so to speak. But stocks of smallpox still exist to this day and laboratories around the world. Oh, that's terrifying.

I have why. So we haven't really eradicated that. Well, so the World Health Organization, they first recommended destruction of the virus worldwide in 1986 and actually set a date in December 1993, but this was postponed to 1999. And of course due to resistance from the US and Russia, who were both like, I'll give it up if you give it up. In now 2002, the World Health Assembly agreed to permit the temporary retention of the virus

stocks for specific research purposes, quite unquiet, as in for bloody chemical warfare. Well, some scientists have argued that stocks may be useful in developing new vaccines, antiviral drugs, and doing tests, and if it ever did get out then you, but in 2010, a review by a team of public health experts appointed by the World Health Organization, so people that know what they're talking about concluded that it was not essential for the health of the public to keep it together that they could still make vaccine without having all this extra potentially chemical weapons that could fall into the wrong people's hands

Jesus, that's fascinating In 2004 smallpox scabs were found inside an envelope in a book of civil war medicine in Santa Fe, New Mexico That's disgusting The envelope was labeless containing scabs from vaccination and gave scientists at the Center for Disease Control and Prevention an opportunity to study the history of small box vaccination in the US But how fucking gross would that be? The least of them was like clearly labeled and it wasn't like Janet, you know, and somebody called Janet finds it because she thinks her crush

Toby is left it in a book for her and then she gets smallpox scabs She says a man a power of his scabs. She said, oh. It's in New Mexico. I think youty might, my crush, he's actually at, over at the, he's the big man on campus. He's the quarterback, and he,

he's also in the, the, the, the, oh, she's Chetty, isn't she? He's in, he's in thebloody what do you call the thing where the thing in the school where they're all in a fraternity he's a frat boy he's a frat boy do you have to shut it shut her up please oh dear oh dear me oh dear oh it's windy out today oh my good I'm I think I got a little cure up the old old old clover there and she didn't stop okay look out I'm I got a little cure up the old old-old collager there and of course she doesn't stop.

Okay, look out, I'm gonna pop out now. You're gonna pop out? You'll have a good day! That's not the way I've heard Americans say. They said it? No. Pop out. What is that in Australia?

I think it's in Australia. Matt, you've popped out of your pants. Yeah, put it away, Matt. I know it's hard, let's come on. Come on. Come on. All right, I'm going to finish up with fun facts this week. Well. But with some famous examples of famous people that have had smallpox,

who are tempted from history. They include Lakota Chief Sitting Bull, famous native American. Ramsey's the fifth of Egypt that I mentioned before. Several Chinese emperors, a King Louis XV of France, who died in 1744 of it. Elevatoral composer, a little man named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, survived smallpox in Austria. Never heard of him. And that outbreak killed the Holy Roman Empress, Maria Joseph

Fier, who became the second consecutive wife of the Holy Emperor Joseph II to die of the disease. So he lost two runs. He's like, come on, I can't catch a break with this small, tough bullshit. Get a sublady blowing it up their ass. Oh, is that where it comes from? That expression. Blow it up your ass. It's from a Buddhist nun. There you go. Elizabeth I of England and her cousin, Mary Queen of Scots, survived the disease, both of them. Good, good. US President George Washington, Andrew Jackson and Abraham Lincoln all contracted and recovered from the disease. Soviet leader Joseph Stalin fell ill with smallpox at the age of seven.

His face was badly scarred by the disease. He later had photographs retouched to make his pock marks less apparent, which pre-photoshop is very difficult to do, but he made people do it. Geez. I might do the opposite. Make my chicken pocks cause more obvious. Have you got lots? Nah. Just a couple.

Show us your skin. Just a couple. Is that one there? What are you pointing at? Your face. That's just my face. Didn't you say it's on your head? Yeah, it. Is that one there? What are you pointing at? Your face. That's just my face. Did you say it's on your head? Yeah, it's somewhere above one of my eyebrows.

I can't remember which one though. That one? Maybe. Yeah, it's like a dent in my head. Yeah. That's cool. I've got one there. I'm noticeable. My chest.

That's a, that's your nipple. Oh. Oh yeah, sorry. Just regard. Do you have two of them? You're going another one on the other side. Oh, I thought I was blessed No, mate. They're just nipples. What about this third one in the middle? Oh, no No, Dave. No Pull your pants up little man

Well only you could call me little man I'll take it from you. I will take that from you I mean that is a smallpox and how the human race can't get that disease and how I hope that we should get out there and conquer more. Yeah, I think we should work our way through some other diseases. Do you know what though? I don't think we... We don't really move in the medical circle, so I'm sure people are working on it quite a lot, and we just happen to hang out with mostly comedians.

Tom should comedian. Yeah. Wow. Present company excluded. Who were working on other important discoveries. We were changing and doing this. Like how to revolutionize come jokes. You know, different angle, different angle from the stand.

I heard you had a breakthrough recently. Well, I'm ready to announce anything on here. I heard that Melvin University was going to award you that big grant. I mean, you jump in the girl over there. I'm sorry, I don't I'm already to a now that I think I hope that Melvin University was gonna award you that big grant I mean You jump in the girl with them. I'm sorry. I don't want to announce that. Oh, it's I don't want to jeopardize anything between you and the chancellor The counselor I'm not good at it. Yeah, the funding has been withdrawn. I just just got the call just got the call But I think thanks for listening guys. Thanks for

I think it's a little bit difficult. But I think, oh thanks for listening guys, thanks for letting me talk about some gross stuff again. I enjoy that. Love it. Do you like that dance? You don't, do you? I don't love it, no. I think that the body count on Jess and my episodes

is well beyond the body count that you have met. Hello, Bacon Will's here. Hello, Zanick. Oh yeah, she is. But in the horse, his favorite horse. Oh no. Gary? Oh, look, it's like Fred or some weird name or that. I've forgotten it.

It was Gary Swate who's a big police rat. Police rats. Just little rats in hats. Little guns. What do you do with it? I combined police rescue and water rats. Very good. He was also an actor on Stingers. He did him all.

Police rats. He did it all. That's a Gary Swede if you're listening. Oh, I'm sure he is. Yeah, well I haven't picked a topic out of hat this week, so if anyone wants to get another one in there. That's right. And yeah, we are recording this on Monday and it's coming out on Wednesday. So, see, how do you do have time to get those suggestions in and may pull one out? I think it's actually, it's pushing very close to Tuesday, then.

Not again. Sorry, Dave. Oh, god, if you're dicker, smaller, we would've got through this. Oh, yeah. Take so long to get in here. I actually am starting to feel like I don't want you to do that anymore. Okay. You're feeling, oh, well that means that I'm going to a lot.

How interesting that you would feel that way. Well, it was a little bit of fun for a while, but now that it's out of my hands, I'm not enjoying it as much. There we go. So now the penis is out of your hands. I'm not enjoying it as much. So now the penis is out of your hands. Yeah, so if anyone's got any topic ideas, throw them in before I pick out of the hat in the next, this is Wednesday. Yeah, I'm probably knowing me. Probably won't pull one out until the weekend. So yeah, you've got the opportunity. Of course, you can get in contacts

with us on Twitter. We've gone well on Twitter, lately picking up a lot of new followers and people tweeting lots of suggestions, which is great. Appreciate that a lot. We're at do-go on pod and then on our page is links to all of our own profiles where we post silly things ourselves. And you can contact us via email, that's your thing. Do-go on pod.gmail.com or on Facebook. We get a few messages as well, which is cool or we can just post on our wall and then we put a lot of photos up it was I mean more few days late but I feel like it's worth mentioning so that it was podcast day a couple of days ago.

Yes. And I sent you guys those fruit baskets. Thank you very much. Thank you. And I'm assuming my gift is in the mail. Yeah, actually here it is now. It's um you know, a half full fruit basket. So congratulations. So I have my card on it. He just crossed out the word. Hey can I just give us that for one second? No, you're just crossing out your own name. You on you're smelling Jess wrong It's three letters

So really three letters. I think it's four. I think you'll find your name has four letters. Does it? Are you thinking of a push? No You're thinking about it three separate letters as three letters and one is repeated Yeah, fuck you repeated yeah Perkins Well, we're gonna have to go to the car park and sort this out the only way we know how With a fight to the death, but thanks very much for listening the loser will of course be

Replaced next week. What I was gonna say they're gonna be very related with smallpox and you know They can take their chances, but hopefully we'll all be back here next week at doing a report with one of your suggestions. Get them coming in but until then I will say goodbye. Mate it's happy 50th guys. Love yous! Bye! Play later. Haha I am an Aussie sympathizer. Bloody hell I'm got a big dick.

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