Do Go On - 52 - Casanova

Episode Date: October 19, 2016

Ever wanted to be good with the ladies? Well this week we learn from one of the most famous ladies men in history! Although we perhaps learn what NOT to do. Plus we talk about Dave's butt for an unnecessarily long time.Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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Do more with the Kia Sportage, Kia Telluride, Kia Sorento, or Kia Seltos. Kia. Movement that inspires. Call 800-333-4-Kia for details. Always drive safely. Hello and welcome to DoGo on my name is Dave Warnicky and- Okay, look that was that wasn't bad but Jess I think it's he does it every week and it's normally pretty good could you ever go out at this time please? Yeah, hello and welcome to do go on. No, no, no, I like that a lot. The go the go was so off. Okay Have another go see how I did it just then do that. Hello, welcome

To do go on the go was perfect, but everything else was wrong I want to hear your voice. I like both. Okay line Hello, welcome to DoGoOn. Hello and welcome to DoGoOn. Happy with that. I hear on the go, I hear what you're saying. Yeah, it's difficult.

It's difficult. Oh, difficult. Remember when we said that this one we wouldn't talk much at the top because the report is cladding. I did not give. I did not even get into hello and you got me off. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Dingo On. It's Dave Jessen at Hummerham.

I'm drinking a lovely Melbourne coffee. Yeah, we just put in coffee and it's like, BAAAHHHHH! Far get all ke, Far and what's the word? Far and all cylinders. Thank you. What do you cause like doing when you're in Melbourne? I'm gonna blend a coffee.

Hello, bro. I'm Kelly. I was there. How you doing? No, I'm not. I'm doing. I'm running for it. You guys are never getting a copy again.

No, it's the, it's the elixir of life. We went to yeah, Broden Kelly from Money Donna, who we had on as a guest a few weeks ago, recommended this cafe around the corn-acornical kinds. And we both had a kinds of coffee, and I reckon that body put something in there, like a bit of caffeine or something. I'm happy with kinds of coffee.

I'm pleasant. It's great, we're having a good day. I'm buzzing like a bee. Hangin' in there with my two favorite lads. I never touched the devil's drop. Okay mate. Never touch it. But he loves cocaine. Yeah well the devil's power is fine. I just hate drops. No fair enough. Hey mate fair enough. Thank you. I love you for you. Thank you. Okay, I'm having an all. Hey Nazi sympathizer. He's fine with me saying he does. And what is weird that?

You draw weird lines, Dave. I draw it. That's often due to the cocaine, let's be fair. He also snorts weird lines. Snorts weird lines. And the shape is swastikin. Oh dear. It's happened.

Last week, I don't know if you noticed there was zero mentions and I was sitting there going yes Yes, perhaps they've forgotten it's because I think we got it all out of our system before we hit record like we really went at you in the in the Yeah, I was hanging out before I was physically bullied and in Physically well, I mean emotion Come on mate, but also what about that time when you you pinned me down and punched me in the stomach? Well, that was just a bit of roughhouse in the rough-dumbo. Yeah, emotionally that did happen.

Boys will be boys. Oh, boy. I thought I was just because I was about the wiggles and there's no real in-to-nazies with wiggles. Yeah, true, because they're delightful, unlike days. I mean, it does seem like Anthony Wiggle is a bit of a Nazi butt. Oh, boy. No comment from me.

Okay. So we are under some time constraints this week. We are not light of the listeners. We need to fire at this report. So I'm just going to ask you, Jess. Yeah. Does this week's report have any inst, to Nancy calling for me?

It does not. So I think you're safe. But don't worry, Matt and I will always find a way. We will find a way. Now that you've brought it to our attention. Oh, no. Anyway, so this is the show where we do a report on a topic. Yes, it is your turn, and we start with a question. We do start with a question. I'm a little bit excited. As per usual for the last few reports that I've done, I have forgotten to write a question, but I have one. reports that I've done, I have forgotten to write a question, but I have one. The question this week is, who is the biggest ladies man in history?

Adolf Hitler. I mean, oh no. Well, not well, one of the same, kind of a similar answer. Basically, yeah, jinx. Fuck. Fuck. Man, I thought I was like, I'll own this so good. I'll say Adolf Hitler, who didn't matter what the question is. What was the worst event of the 1950s when he's already gone?

I'll just say Hitler. Oh no! Man, he wasn't that bad though, wasn't he? Your words, mate, your words. Would you ever start a podcast at episode 52? I hope no one else has. Okay, for context, if this is the first one that you're listening to, um, hi, by the way, um, many, many, many, many months ago, Dave was doing a report where he said we implied like before Hitler was known to be terrible, but the way he said it was

before Hitler wasn't that bad yet. And then we've just been piling on it. That was so eloquently explained. Thank you and it sounds less. You've never been able to put it in words. Yeah, I've never, it just sounds like I'm just in denial when I do it so thank you, Jess. Yeah, welcome. So what was the question? I just, I just, I just said hit one. Ladies, ladies, man. Who's a ladies man? Old time. Tom Jones. No. His name is quite literally now, so I'm not necessarily being like that. Oh, Don Juan.

No, close, close. Uh, Lothario. Something like that. JFK? No. What? What are you, he's so, what's a woman? Oh yeah, but his name is quite literally... Oh, it's a weird guy. Casanova! Casanova is your topic. Is Lothar or anything. Yes

But I Think it's a thing but it could also be a character from the Sims I think there's a guy called like Don letharia No, the fire is a real ladies man. Oh man He was really fun because then you'd like already have had all these relationships with ladies And you could just like bang people. It this an adjective, is it? Yes. Good. Good, good, so not relevant at all.

So Cassanova. Cassanova. This was suggested, did you take this out of the hat? This was suggested by listener and friend Louis Dale. Oh, Louis Dale. Yeah, Louis suggested this one for us. Louis is a comedian friend of ours. And we will not discriminate against him because of that choice.

Well, he's from South Australia. We will against him because of that choice. Well he's from South Australia. We will discriminate him because of that choice though. Yeah. What a choice. Hey, everyone's got a choice. But no, but okay, he chose to move to Melbourne though. Yeah, if anything, he's only choice. His only choice was to leave Adelaide, which is probably smart.

Well... Anyway. Stupidism, stupid does. Oh, got it! It's a good point. Sucked in, Dale. Thank you. Yeah, sorry.

I like him a lot. Me too. Me too. So, yeah, so we, I'm going to be talking about Casanova because I didn't know a lot about him. Did I know a lot? He, a fictional... No, he's a real person. But like a mythical type.

Well, not like a Phoenix. Yeah, he's a Phoenix. But like a legend? Yeah, kind of. No, he is real. Oh, my name is a real legend. Oh, he's a bloody legend. Why don't you read the legend with the ladies?

He is real. I think there's probably... Like lots of other characters have been based on him is you know but he's had the most fascinating life. I don't really know anything and then Lewis was sort of like it was just talking to him. He's like check this out and I was like oh my god okay so it's really interesting. So I'll tell you the story. Thank you. I'm excited. So like basically just as like an overall summary though he's autobiography which is called story of my life. Sounds like he definitely exists then.

He's a autobiography. It's regarded as one of the most authentic sources of the customs and norms of European social life during the 18th century, because he wrote his memoirs and like it was such a reflection on society at the time. Oh. Regardless one of the most authentic, pretty interesting.

So definitely these words mean exist. Yeah, yeah, he existed. He's not fictional. He authentically existed. He authentically existed. His name was Jacques-Mau, Jérôla Mour Cassanova. Wow. I can say that because I studied Italian.

So can you say it in a way that I could parrot? Jacques-Mau, Jérô Jorolamo, Casanova. Jocamo. You're starting to nail this English. Jocamo. We'll just call him Casanova. Jocamo. Jocamo.

So is he Italian? Born in Venice in 1725, so yes. Beautiful. To actress Sanetta Farusi, who was the wife, and she was the wife of actor and dancer, Gatano Casanova, and he was the first of six children. They all had good names. I was going to say them all but they were very and I didn't copy them but they were all good names. Good to know. At the time of his birth the city of Venice

thrived as the Plesia capital of Europe. Ples of Capital. What would you say the Pledge of Capital is now? Of Europe? Mm. I was just saying. I was, I was gonna say my, no, I was gonna say my house. Yeah, I was gonna say my house. Yeah.

You're not in Europe, Jim. Well, oh, you probably is an antsy base. There's, there's just many flaws in my. There are many flaws for sure. Yeah, it's a big house. All of that money we gave him for the podcast. I think he spent it on a house. Because I've not seen any return of you. Hang on, why have you guys been me for the podcast? No, but remember, we all gave, we all gave Dave money and he was going he was gonna do some seven posts

what's gonna do some podcast yeah I was gonna make a three I got with so high-five we're about the green screen and make us all look better mine's gone I smash mine's gone to anyway so, so Venice, pleasure, capital of Europe. Everybody knows. Apparently it was ruled by political and religious conservatives who tolerated social vices and encouraged tourism. So people were coming.

Well, I thought I'd say there's nothing that says pleasure to me than being ruled by the conservative religious times. All right. It was a required stop on the grand tour, which was like a ride of passage that young men traveled, especially Englishmen. So the custom was kind of, it was big around 1660, and then it continued all the way up until about 1840s.

And when they, like the, the advent of large-scale rail transport made it a bit easier to move around. But before that, it was like a ride of passage. As you were coming of age, you do this big... You take a gap here and take a long time just to get there from England. Yeah, but they would just sort of travel around. Anyway, so... Sounds a lot far. Venice is a party capital. He was cared for by his grandmother while his mother toured about Europe in the theatre because she was an actress. He's father died when he was eight years old. This is interesting and you might appreciate this Dave. As a child, Cassyn over suffered nosebleeds. As you have on this podcast. As the best people do. Okay mate. And his grandmother sought help from a witch.

As my mother did before me. Yeah. perhaps as a remedy of the nosebleeds, apparently a doctor blamed the density of Venice's air. So the Venice is no good for nosebleeds. So he was sent on his ninth birthday to a boarding house on the mainland in Pajua. Now this neglect by his parents was like a bitter memory for him. It's great because I've got like little chunks of what he's written. And so he was like, they just got rid of me. His parents are just like, bye. And since I've been in the bin. And since I was getting rid of him because I wanted him to get bitter. Yeah, but because they neglect to do. Yeah, but he's a kid. And apparently conditions at the boarding house were terrible.

So he appealed 1700's boarding school. Yeah, imagine that it would be who knew but has the nosebleed stopped I think so all the really subsided a little bit. Okay, praise the witch. Praise be the witch eventually the blood goes to a different part of his body Where man cut himself on the shower Yeah Where man cut him's up on the shower Oh He's a real person over this guy. He's a real bloody with Thario Hello, he's a bit of a text in if you know what that means

Textin give him your number Matt. Um, no, don't though You've done that on TV before though. I'm not at all careful with my number. It's on the public record, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, so yeah, conditions are really bad at the boarding house. So he appealed to be placed under the care of Abbey Gossie. Abbey's like the clergyman. Heard more good names on this podcast than I've heard it in the rest of my life I love great names now he was so who's Abby Guzzi though he was his primary happy girl instructor like his teacher oh he's already said you see his teacher

no he just wanted to be put no but out of all the students she's chosen him to be he has chosen her oh that's how much power he will he has chosen him it's a dude Abby is a power he will. He has chosen him. It's a dude. Abby is a man. It's, Abby is a clergyman, like an abbot, like it's just a title. Oh. Like father, Gazi.

It's Abby Gazi. He's already, uh, seducing Abby. Okay, there's no seduction. Well, there it kind of is, but not with the Abby. Okay, sorry. He was his tutor, so he goes and lives with the priest. He's like a clergyman and his family, and he lived there most of his teenage years.

And it was also in the Guazi household that Casanova first came into contact with the opposite sex. Guazi. With Guazi's younger sister, Bettina. I mean, when they say first came into contact with the opposite sex, like he had a mother and sisters. So, but I think they mean in a different kind of context. Like a single word.

Nah, mean. Nah, mean. Yeah. Like, ooh, I like her. Ooh. I think we know what you mean. What do I mean? So, I zoned out.

When you said, I couldn't help but tell you that's gotta be one of the less good names out there. Not happy with that one. There's some more. There's some more. What about just, just, just the teen is okay. Teen is okay. Betty. Betty. Maybe. There's some more. Tina. What about just just Tina's okay. Tina's okay.

Betty. Betty. Maybe. Do you want to call her Betty? Bettina. Well, there's a horrible amalgamation. Do you want to call her Betty or Tina for the rest of the podcast? Betty. Betty it is. Okay. Is Betty a lot older than him if she's the younger sister of of the Abbey? I have a feeling she's about I feel like she might have been older than him. Goalsley. I'm not 100% sure. They might have been similar ages but there was a bit of a difference. I just say like this. It's really fun. Goalsley. Goalsley. That's fun.

That is fun. That is good fun. Oh we have fun. Try it at home. Anyway so he is attracted to Betty. He described her as pretty lighthearted and a great reader of romances. She's pretty lighthearted. Pretty comma lighthearted. Oh well that's a different thing altogether. The girl pleased me at once though I had no idea why. It is she who little by little kindled in my heart the first box of a feeling which later became my ruling passion Which later became my bone up. No ruling passion is nicer ruling. But he means bone up Although she subsequently married Cassinova maintained a lifelong attachment to Betty and the Guzzi family His lifelong attachment was his bone

attachment was his bone. Yeah it was attached to him for his entire life. Yes that's how doodles work. Spoiler? Wait which bit the fact that I said that we were going to touch him or that's how doodles work. A little bit of Column Man Column bit. The bit was his bone. The column was his bone.

Oh man. Oh it's so many. So many boners. Early on, Cass and I just demonstrated a quick wit and intense appetite for knowledge and a inquisitive mind. He entered the University of Padua at 12 and graduated at 17.

What a guy. In 1742 with a degree in law. It was his guardians hope that, as in like, the Golsie. They sort of hope that he'd become an ecclesiastical lawyer. Um, Kazanover had also studied moral philosophy, chemistry, and mathematics, and was keenly interested in medicine. In fact, he frequently prescribed his own treatments for himself and his friends. Wow, self-dynamic doctor. Wow, we all love a bit of Google again our symptoms and deciding everything's cancer,

so that's good. I think he's deciding everything can be cured with a little Viagra. Bona! Bona! While attending the university, Cass and I began to gamble and quickly got into debt, causing his grandmother to tell him to come back to Venice, which is a comeback here. But the gambling habit became firmly established. So he's a he likes a bit of a bit.

That's a disappointment. Card games, that sort of thing. He was such a nice man. Back in Venice, Casanova started his clerical law career and was admitted as an Abbey. So he's also like a clergyman. Which is like a building right where the monks are. No, that's EY, this is just A double B E. Okay, okay.

So he's an Abbey, he's a lawyer, he's a self-destroving doctor. He's everything. He's a Casanova. He's a Casanova. He's the original Casanova. Right, that makes sense. It does, because it's his name. Imagine if your name went on to like mean something. He's a right old Dave

I was gonna go Perkins is interesting. Okay, you were Dave. Yeah, well, I think about me a lot But I actually refer to myself as Perkins a lot. So maybe that's why I went straight to Perkins But like to be a Perkins or to be a Jess. Oh, that mean? I mean, it just means a turn on a dime. Turn on a dime. Suddenly. Just love to hate. So twist. You're like, you're two-faced.

You're flipping the coin in there, catching it. What's it gonna be? All right, I hate this guy. Yeah, cool. Hey, what did I do? Don't know, mate. I don't know. I fuck off.

I'm okay with that. That's kind of fun. You're a 50-50 perkins. I quite like that because then you never know what you off. I'm okay with that. That's kind of fun. You're a 50-50 per- I quite like that because then you never know what you're gonna get. That's right. That's exciting. Yeah. I'm gonna get.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna feel at any given moment. Feelings. I'm really hyped. No, I'm just, I'm trying to think of, I feel like there are others, but he's the big one, right? Is Romeo, would that count? He's a real Romeo. No, I think Romeo, well, I'm's the big one, right? Is Romeo, would that count? He's a real Romeo?

No, I think Romeo, well, I'm not a hundred percent sure what other people would think, but I would sort of perceive Romeo as more of a romantic Like a like a true love kind of thing Where's that cast and over's a bit of like a pants man pants man a bit of a man-haw right fuckboy He's a fuckboy Could have think of a word that I liked and I landed on fuck boy and I'm happy with that Fuck boy means something else, but that's Hello, I don't know. No, I think that's what it means. Okay. Well, I've yeah, I thought it was yeah I was gonna say I thought it was negative, but maybe maybe pants man is negative

I think Casano I to be a Casanova isn't necessarily. I think it's to be charming and right and charismatic Which I don't think is a fuck boy. Yeah, no, but you don't but like he gets the ladies right and I think a's to be charming and charismatic. Which I don't think is a fucking boy. No, but you don't, but like he gets the ladies. Right. And I think a fuck boy gets the ladies, but you don't marry a fuck boy. You know, you don't marry a Casanova. Okay.

He sounds like a real Dave. Yeah. No Dave. Oh, sorry. Dave's would be nice guys. Oh, thanks. You'd settle down with a Dave. You'd settle for a Dave.

You'd settle for a Dave. That's what it's in sound like you're about to say. You'd settle for a Dave. You'd get down with a Dave or you'd you'd you'd settle for a day That's what it's in sound like you're about to say you'd settle for a day you'd get to 35 and You'd have a look around you'd go to the over 28s nights that your local pub and you're like Maybe I will give Dave another try Yeah, and then you'll marry Dave and you'll be fine. Yeah, you won't be great But you'll be fine. Yeah, you won't like you'll have you'll you'll probably have a laugh every now and then yeah There will be knots where you're lying in bed awake staring at the ceiling while Dave is snoring just going I mean I've

waited a couple more years maybe I would have found a mat but but yeah well I think that's a lot less sitting yourself up but I had to be a Perkins and I just snapped. Oh, this is you. Yeah, I'm mad. You went up with a Dave. I'm so sorry. So you aim for a mat. You aim for a mat.

You aim for a mat. You aim for a saddle for a day. You deserve so much more, Jess. That's awful. I love you both equally and you're both wonderful. Thanks. How could that be a bad thing? It's a special thing.

Roo is fair. Because he hasn't had a coffee. Mate, jump the ball. No, he's got a jump on. I'm feeling, I feel alive. I bet Lewis Dow would have had one of these from Adelaide. He would have had about three coffees by now. I was, okay, this is just a fun fact.

I shared a place with Lewis in Edinburgh and we would get coffee every morning and he would have like a triple shot just in the morning and then he'd usually need another one later on the day anyway. Big coffee man, love it! Yeah, you're all addicted. You bloody slaves to the bean. Slaves to the bean! And the coffee over there I bet was just as good, right?

That was fine. Yeah, it's fine. But then again we did find a good cafe near a place that had Australians working there. So we walked in and we were like, hello! It feels like that's got to be a myth that Australia does coffee Why would Australia do coffee better? I think coffee is coffee. Yeah, that's right. It's good or bad depending on how it's made Not where you've got it from. Yeah, that's my yeah listen to this slave talk. Yeah slave talk Do you Has to slave to the very similar to cast an over yeah That's the thing. Do you like the thing? That's the thing. That's the thing.

That's the thing. I just like the thing. Yeah, very similar to Casanova. Yeah. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That's gross and awesome. Okay, anyway, Casanova, we have time constraints. I'm going to be distracted talking about Lewis and Coffee. He is now an Abbey and he's working as a clerical lawyer.

Lewis or Casanova? Lewis is an Abbey! Sorry. Casanova is an Abbey. And he's sort of shuffling back between Venice and Padua because he's continuing his studies at university. By now, he's quite handsome, he's tall and dark, says he's long hair, powdered, centered, and elaborately curled. Which does not.

elaborate curls. For like a modern woman I'm like okay, too much, but um. Have a fucking hair cut, mate. Yeah, just like, no, no, no, I mean if you get a, put a bit, a, put a little bit of product through it. Yeah, just maybe get a product. a, get a pomped door. Like, get a pomped door. They're so great.

The sexiest hair do a vol. We've always all said that. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. That looks so good. Trying to build him back up after the whole Nazi thing. So just go along with that. Okay, great.

Oh, I have a pomped door. You look great. The pomped door's sick, man. Yeah, your hair cut is really good. It probably, it would have suited a better looking person better looking person, but it's doing a pretty good job on top of your funny little face. Yeah. Hey, would you settle for this hair?

I'd settle for that. You'd aim for a mat. I mean, I'd settle for a puppy dog. Eventually, you're like the blue. I did actually say when Matt got here today, I was like, Matt, looks great. His hair looks good. What did I say to you, though, Dave?

Some eyes were looking especially blue. Oh, that's very nice. Everybody was looking great today. We're on, which was good because we had some photos taken. Good job. What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?

The Masterpieces. Anyway. I haven't showered. Oh, I was like inside your beard. Yeah, I was all up in there. Oh, I'm sorry, guys. Okay, so, Cas'm sorry, guys. OK, so, Castanobase, a bit of a good-looking guy.

He finds himself a patron or like a mentor, something that he ends up doing for his entire life. He's always got somebody else who basically pays for him. He sort of like pips himself out, I suppose, in a way. So he has this, he always hangs out with the wealthy people, and they usually end up letting him live with them and they like give him money and stuff And what's he doing giving them advice? He's just kind of hanging out man, he's just being cassin over, he's just a cool dude

So he's first Patron with 76-year-old Venetian Senator Alvisia Gasparo Malipiero, I'm so sorry if I'm saying this wrong. That sounded so good in my ears. This is probably so offensive. No, I'm going to enamel that. Malipiara.

The felt authentic. It's not what my sister made it. He was the owner of a palace called Palazzo Malipiero. Oh, it's his own. See, va bene. Which was quite close to Casanova's home in Venice. Now Malapieta moved into the best, he moved in the best circles and taught young Casanova a great deal about good food and wine and how to behave in society.

So we learned a lot from this guy, it's like a mentor. However, when Casanova was caught dallying with Malapieta's intended object of seduction, who was an actress called Teresa Ima. The senator drove them both from his house. He's like, get out. So he had his eye on this girl and Cassanova was like, wow, wow, wow, wow, he showed her his boner. Um, um, but the, the rich guy is really old. 76. Oh, you don't want that. You want Cassanova. Come on. Well, Cassanova's growing curiosity about women.

Growing curiosity, is that what we're calling it? We call it a growing curiosity. That woman led to his first complete sexual experience with two sisters. So before this, he was running away early. Yeah. You'd never get quite yet. He's first complete one.

Right. Threesome. He's first complete one. Right. Threesome. He goes straight to a threesome with his sister's Naneta and Maria, then 14 and 16. Oh, how old's he? I'm not 100% sure. Let's say 15. Sure.

Okay. He's young, he's under 20. Yeah, he's under 20 at this age. Okay. Still not, I mean, not okay. It's not okay. But what are you talking about today? I was about to say, but this is not like he let's think about he was at university at 12 like it was a different sort of standard now. You know, I'm not I'm justifying. It's not okay. I'm not I'm just a fire. It's not okay Anyway, so he's he's He proclaimed that his life hobby was firmly established. He's hobby being fucking fucking sisters

Just fucking in general his bone had been firmly established So he's also let's remember. He's also kind of That's just really hard about bonus. That's great. He's really happy like I oh Dave's lost it. That is just really hard to not have that bonus. That's great. He's really hard to not- I'm like a dog with a bone. This is the exact kind of thing that at the end Matt Whispers, when we're off here. Drunken maybe he cut out some bone references.

I had had a lot of coffee. He always does that, and we never cut it out. You might have said you were texting like, I hate that bone-a-thing I did. Yeah, I am gonna regret this big time. No, you're not. What were we talking about last time? We were talking about your big dick.

Yeah. Anyway. The pattern is forming. Yeah, it turns into pants. I have so much to get through. Let's get moving. Because he's laugh on how he's only just kicked off. He's not even, he's like 20.

Anyway, so let's remember as well that he was also like a member of the church. A member. A member. A member. A member. A member. It's funny how many words you'd sell, like voters. We're obsessed as a people.

Yeah, we really are. Or there. As a people or as a podcast. It's hard to say. So scandals painted Casanova's short church career, okay? After his grandmother died, Casanova entered a seminary for a short while, but soon his indebtedness landed him in prison for the first time. So he entered in seminary. I knew it! I knew it! I was trying to let that one go through. From now on, let's try our best to let just get through.

A sentence. So he went into an incentive part of me, but it only lasts a little while because he was so far in debt that he went to prison for all the money that he had lost. So he's a bad boy. Bad boy. His mother sort of attempted to secure a position with a bishop, but Cass and Ova was like, no thank you. Instead he found employment as a scribe with the powerful cardinal,

a quaviva in Rome. That's a great name. A quaviva. Water Viva. Viva's like. Celebration. Yeah, so it's like, go water. Yeah.

That's kind of boring, mate. He's an incredible go water Oh, yay water And they live on they live on the water. Yeah, well, this is in Rome. So he's in Rome now on meeting When in Rome this is so good on meeting the Pope Cassanova boldly asked for a dispensation to read the forbidden books and from eating fish which he claimed inflamed his eyes. I just like he's like hello Pope, couple of quick things. No particular order. Hey can I read the naughty books and I don't want to eat fish. No no no Pope, hello. So I think you're permission to not eat fish.

Like otherwise the police come around and they're like, I'm eating you have me eating your fish. Yeah. Did you get a dispensation to not a fish? That's weird. It is a bit strange. He also composed love letters for another cardinal. But when Cassanova became the scapegoat for a scandal involving a local pair of star-crossed lovers. Cardinal Aquaviva. In February? Yeah, in February, I know where this. Cardinal Yewwater.

Cardinal Yewwater. Cardinal Yewwater. Cardinal Aquaviva dismissed Cassanova, thanking him for his sacrifice, but effectively ending his church career. He's like, you can just, you can go. Thanks for everything. Hey, thank you so much, but like, we're fine. We're all right. We don't really know how you go.

It's cool. We're different times back then. Yeah. Now, anyone who wants to be in the church, like's cool. But different times back then. Yeah. Now anyone who wants to be in the church, like, please. Oh my God, please. You want it? You want it really?

Really? OK. Have you read the newspaper? OK, no, sure. Jump on in. Right, so he's left the church now. In search of a new profession, Cassine over decided to become a military officer

for the Republic of Venice. He joined a Venetian regiment in Kolfu, and he found his advancement too slow and his duty boring, and he managed to lose most of his pay, playing Faro, which is a French card game. So he soon abandoned his military career, returned to Venice. At the age of 21, he set out to become a professional gambler, but he'd already lost all of his money. I'm going professional. But I need money. So he turned to his old benefactor, LVSA grew money for a job.

What's the phrase? He's been a lawyer, a kind of a doctor. A kind of doctor. Yeah, he's kind of a doctor, but not real. An army man, a nail gambler, and he's 21. There's more. He keeps going. Ridiculous. Okay, here we go then.

So now he wants to be a gambler, right? But he needs money. So he begins his third career. We're not including doctor, because he's not actually doctor. He's third career as a violinist. In the San Samuel Theatre. This is so good. This is how he describes it.

A menial journeyman of a sublime art in which if he who Excel exels is admired, the mediocrity is rightly despised. So he's like, if you're good, great. If you're not, but has he been playing his whole life like everyone else in the orchestra? He was taught, I believe, from like one of the, oh no, he was taught in school, I think, yeah. When he was living with Gozzy, I believe that's when he learnt he was learning violin. He can play violin. He's gone professional. Now he's gone professional. My profession was not a noble one but I did not care. I soon acquired all the habits of my degraded fellow musicians. Sorry musicians out there. Look at these scum people, look what I'm casting Over. That's appropriate. Violin.

So when we were talking last week about keyboard being the coolest instrument. No, I think that's not that I think that's the opposite of what we were talking about. No, definitely, you guys definitely said it was a coolest. Yeah, keyboard is the... So why would a violin sit if it was in a band?

Violin, Warren Ellis is playing it. It's right up there, right up there. I can't see, I can't get this right. You know, but, well, did you not hear there? There do kinds of, all this kind of degrading stuff. Violin's probably the most rock and roll instrument in the whole entire Symphony Orchestra. I just can't get it.

Right, can I? No. No. Put down the bagpipes. No. Jess, do you know who used to play the violin? Hey. Cassanova. Fuck. It's a sexual instrument. I used to work in a bookshop that would play his CDs constantly. And I wanted to die.

Wow. You wanted to die. Is it no good? No, it's good. I hate him so much. He's a sexual instrument. I used to work in a bookshop that would play his CDs constantly. And I wanted to die.

Wow. You wanted to die. No, good. No, it's fine, but like, because it was like, the bookshop had like an ABC shop within it. So we had like triple J CDs. We had all this good stuff that you could play.

And the elderly manager would always put on fucking Andre Rue. Cause you know what it would sell? Andre Rue. And it did. Kids aren't buying CDs, but grandparents are. Yeah, it's a good point. Yeah, so he's no, but he's a good...

Oh, he's very talented musician, yes. I've never fully understood why he's the leader. Why is he so big? He just plays the classics. He doesn't write his own music. Because he's charming. People love that music. People love the music.

He's got a good moment. He's very charming. Charming, Austrian. You know who else is charming? He's Dutch. moment. It's got a great moment. He's very charming. Charming, Austrian. You know who else is charming? He's Dutch. Dutch. That's what I meant. You know who else is charming?

Okay, that's another one. Oh, I thought you were going back to Adolf Hitler, but yeah. Well, he was. That's more of something that Dave would say. Yeah. I forget. He wasn't that bad though.

So yeah, Casimover was not that bad. Just as Dave started to get to you too. Yeah. Please do go on. Thank you. So he's hanging out with some other musicians and he and some of his fellow musicians often spent our nights roaming through different quarters of the city thinking up the most scandalous practical jokes and putting them into execution.

Ooh! Do I have examples? We amused ourselves by untying the gondolas more before prior homes and they drifted with the current. Gotcha. Gotcha. You lost your only transport. You could have seen their face.

They also sent me... Which we didn't because we left before sunrise. They also sent midwives and physicians on false calls. Ah, people probably died because of that. Ah, it's so good. We need a midwife really quickly. They're all out getting pranked. Socks in due care! You got Casanova'd bitch!

We set the water ambulances on fire, yay! Yeah, so that is all good stuff. No, they're just good fun. And timeless as well. Like if we did that to the Algon delos, people still think it was funny still funny still funny Still funny god that happened to me last week somebody set my gondola some joke stuff and I was like and I woke up and I was like Yeah, so I clapped it well done when it happened to me like to be honest my first instinct was Where's my gondola totally right but right? But then when it, when it,

I was like the cogs ticked over, I was like, hang on a second. Oh, very, very good. Very good. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you, I mean, when you get got it, you got to give it up. Oh, yes, yes, yes. So it was a really nice moment. I think you have to have coffee before every podcast because you are so much more fun than normal when you're very boring.

Thank you. So finally, guys, some good fortune came to the rescue. What, how was it, you know, that're bad fortune apart from getting a bad fortune? No, it wasn't like his job. He doesn't like being a musician. Well, it pulled me, right? So he's unhappy with his life. So what happened was he saved the life

of a Venetian nobleman of the braggadin family who had a stroke while riding with Cassanova in a gondola after a wedding ball. What is their life? I know. Some of the thing anyway. So they immediately stopped, they stopped, and they have the Senator Bled,

like I'm guessing like bloodletting. Yeah. Yeah. To help him. So then they get him back to the Senator's palace and a physician bled the Senator again and applied an ointment of mercury to the Senator's chest. Now this was apparently an all-purpose remedy at the time, but toxic. Toxic, yeah.

Just essentially this rub, poison on these chairs. It's not like a Vicks Vaperub, you know, like it's just an all-purpose, like it'll just help, but it's mercury. And so- When this is gonna happen, what today is being applied to us that we're gonna look back at in 300 years time and go,

oh, it was so weird out, we used to take paracetamol or something. Probably Vicks vape. I've been thinking that about like laser hair removal. Right. I've been thinking that about, if it turns out you know, 20 years from now they're like, yeah that wasn't a good idea. I'd be like, nah, Gary can probably not. Yeah, put a laser in your skin. Hang on. I have a good idea. Are you saying that I should regret my entire body laser hair removal? No, because you look amazing. You look so good.

I love it. If you die young, who gives a fuck? Because you look amazing. No, I will be buried naked so people can see this. Perfect. Dave. I mean, you're going to be hideous when it kicks in, but. Dave, no regrets, babe.

You look great. There's going to leave some bloody beautiful photos. Beautiful corpse photos. So beautiful. Thank you. So they've put Mercury on him, right, which raised his temperature and induced a fever, and he appeared to be choking on his own swollen wind pipe. So the thing that a doctor's gone, yep, this is all beautiful. This is fine, this is normal. This is, ah, the mercury is working. If only all the midwives weren't tied up with some sort of thing going on.

They're so busy chasing. They're gondolers down the room. Oh, and a priest was called because they thought like he's, he's going to die. He was looking really unwell. Kassan over, however, took charge and, and he, um, even the attending physician was protesting, he ordered the removal of the ointment and the washing of the senators' chest with cool water, so I get that fucking poisonous ointment off him. So they did that and he was like... Of course, someone said it wasn't common knowledge. Well, I don't know if he was like, hmmm.

Just real smart guy. Well, obviously they wouldn't be using it if they knew it was toxic. I think that's something we know now. But Cass and Oval was over was like well maybe let's get rid of that right so he got it off they washed it off him and he made it full recovery like he he was fine they thought he was gonna die and then he turned out to be fine but because of his youth and and his medical knowledge the senator and his his friends thought the Cass and over was wise beyond his years and concluded that he must be in position of the occult knowledge. They're like he's some kind of witch doctor. Oh, this is person. Right, so then the senator invites Casanova

into his household and he becomes like a lifelong patron of him. So now he's living in a fucking palace because he's a positive thing. Well, I guess so, yeah. Funny. We're just having that knowledge, I suppose, that one with spiritual knowledge, though. Thought it was really cool. For the next three years, under the Senators patronage, working nominally as a legal assistant, Kassan overled the life of a nobleman, dressing magnificently, and it was natural to him, spending most of his time gambling and engaging in amorous pursuits. He'd be fucking. Oh, amorous.

So he's picking up to late. Amorous is pretty good. Now he's patron. Things were getting a little amorous. You have the A. U. pause and say it's lonely. Amorous. He's patron, so the senator that he'd saved. Mr. Mercury.

Mr. Mercury. He was very tolerant, but he did warn Casanova that someday he would pay the price. He's like, you know, be careful of your behaviour. But Casanova. I'm sure everything will be fine. Casanova said, I made a joke of his dire prophecies and went my way.

Well, first mistake. Not the first, actually, not your first at all. Low, low, good one. Not the first, actually, not the first at all. Oh, lol, good one. How's that mercury? Fuck off. However, not much later, Casanova was forced to leave Venice due to further scandals. This is so good. Casanova had dug up a freshly buried corpse in order to play a practical joke on an enemy. An exact revenge.

But the victim went into paralysis, never to recover. That he got him through. He broke him. He got him. He bloody got him. Got him, you dickhead. Matt Tilly didn't real good. Tilly didn't.

So he used his paralyze forever. Yeah, yeah, so he's not good. So he also, I mean, I shouldn't just attack this on the end of that terrible prank, but he also fled Venezuela after he was accused of rape. So he flees to Palmer, which is where the Palmer is from. Really, probably Palmer. Probably not. Yeah, you get a Palmer to put in Palmer.

Casting over, then entered into a three-month affair with a French woman. He named Henryette. I didn't name her, but in his writings, he referred to her as Henry. I knew that was coming. My name's Joan. Oh, call your Henryette. Okay. No, but it's Joan.

It's Joan. I cannot stress this in my name. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. What's Joan? What's Joan? Please, please just call me my name, which is Joan. Henryette, you look like a Henry- I'm not a Henry, and I'm a Joan.

I just don't feel like a Joan. I'm normally really good with this. And yeah, you're definitely a Henry- Yeah, trust me, you're a Henry- This was perhaps the deepest love he ever experienced. And his words- Wow. This is kind of strange and nice.

You can see if you can interpret these words. In his words, he said, they who believe that a woman is incapable of making a man equally happy all the 24 hours of the day have never known a Henriette. That's kind of nice, isn't it? Very nice, but once again, my name is John. I really must.

I appreciate the sentiment there, but it'd be nice if you named me, not some fantasy woman. He just seemed to be like so impressed that she was intelligent. And he's like, wow, she's red. And she challenges me in conversations. It's like, oh, okay, you've met a real person. Yeah, you've met a person.

She challenges me on what I call her every day. Oh, she's so challenging. Oh, she's the best one's love, I won't they? Oh, she's so challenging. The best one's other, won't they? Oh, boy. But that kind of, so that sort of relationship didn't last and he was crestfallen and said and he returned to Venice and after a good gambling streak, he recovered and set off on a grand tour. Grand tour I was talking about before, like, though. Oh, it's not what people do at 18 and now he's how old he now I's like in his 20s, but still you can still do it. It's a right of passage. Yeah, he has the right to passage

He's got over here taking my people's rights over time. He's got the right to Jones passage He's got the rights to Jones Passage. Oh, no, two. So, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, Yeah. Jones being dead for several hundred years. She's also. We can only assume. A person and police don't refer to her bits as a passage.

Good heavens. And I think we call her Henry yet. Sorry. As is her name. Jesus, always, this guy over here, fuck no. What a piece of bloody shit. What a piece of shit. Sorry, Jones, passage. Great hair. On top of a real piece of shit human.

So apparently is the icing on the poo. Apparently as he's on his grand tour, he's just bouncing from sexual escape, sexual escape. Bouncing is such a vivid, wow. You're welcome. And he reached his power since 1750. He's said in Paris for two years, he learnt the language, spent much time with him. is such a vivid wow you're welcome and he reached his Paris in 1750 he's saying Paris for two years he learnt the language spent much of his time at the theatre introduced himself to Notables Notables

Bonjour no, Bonjour I mean That's all he did just said hello Hello, hello like Dave Warwicky the French church Hello, hello Hello. Hello. Hello. Like Dave Warner here, the French church. Hello. Hello. I'm on my mom. Right. Soon, however, his numerous liaisons were noted by the Paris police as they were in nearly every city he visited.

Everybody went, they were like, oh, the fuck is this guy right? Because he was always just so gross. Um. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching

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Discounts not available in all safe and situations. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. savings will vary. This counts not available in all safe and situations. You could start your new career in months, not years, take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. In 1752, he and his brother Francesco moved from Paris to Dresden, where his mother and sister, Maria, were living. He then visited Prague and Vienna before he finally returned to Venice in 1753. In Venice, Cassanova resumed his escapades, picking up many enemies and graining and gaining the greater attention of the Venetian inquisitors.

His police record became a lengthening list of reported blasphemies, seductions, fights and public controversy. So he's a bad boy. Matanely, someone's public record and I had all these seductions, fights, and public controversy. So he's a bad boy. Maddenly, someone's public record and I had all these seductions on it. Yeah, it just keeps seducing everyone. Seven counts of seduction. Stop it.

Stop getting out there and seducing everyone. Stop it. Um, uh, a state spy Giovanni Manucci was employed to draw out Casanova's knowledge of free masonry and to examine his library for forbidden books. They're like, oh I can easily probably got some of the naughty books. In order to have them there for bedding. Did he have to go undercover? Can I borrow some sugar? And?

Can I borrow a book? Yeah. What do you know about free masonry? Yeah. Good day. God, you'd be a great spy, Dave. I'd be real good. I nearly told you everything was just in.

I was about to drop my own. Dax? Dax. Yeah. Oh my, Dax. Oh my, Dax. Dax is so awesome. I'm like, dude.

Dax is so awesome. The last time I said Dax is what I was trying to explain to an American, what Dacking meant. Right. Because I was like, what, what would you call it? They could call it Pantsing. We call Pants, like Daxies are a slang term for your pants or trousers. So if you'd, if you'd Dax someone,

it's pulling their pants down. Pulling their Dax down. You're Dacking them. Dacking them. Got Dax. You got Dax. The first time I heard the word Dax was when one of my older cousins tried to use it in a game

which scribbled against my dad How would you spell it? Was having none of that Dack it's a word I'll show you what it means That's not good. That's not good. That's not good. It's a word. I'll show you what it means.

So yeah, there's people spying on him trying to figure out what he knows. So a couple of people advised him to leave because there were some pretty stiff consequences. No, not falling for it, yes. I am. That is some very good word bloat Now the following day he's now 30 years old following day he's arrested and He's imprisoned

Under the leads now the leads was a prison of seven cells on the top floor of the east wing of the Doge Palace. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Reserve for prisoners of higher status and political crimes are named for the lead plates. Maybe it's leads. That would make sense. Leds. Because it's named after the lead plates covering the palace roof. So it's probably the leads, not the leads. But they're bloody these things, hey, they look at the same. Those words are always true. The lads, anyway. Hang in there with the lads. Just hanging up with the lads.

Is that a homonym? Homonym. Homonym. Homonym. Homonym. Homus. You're saying homus? Homonym.

You're saying, homa, vehicle, the vehicle, homa? Homonym. What are you saying? Homonym. Homonym. Homonym. Homonym. What?

Oh, homonym. Homonym. Homonym. Emanum. Emanum. Hamanum? Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Haman. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Hamanum. Oh, he escapes the unscapable prison prison. Yeah, he does. He's the renaming. Is he fucking way out the front door? Well, he fucks his way out. The front door. All right. No, he was a place to solitary confinement.

He had clothing, a pallet bed, table, and armchair. Well, that seems pretty cushy. Better than my partner. I don't have an armchair. I've got a couch. Anyway, in the worst of all the cells apparently, where he suffered greatly from the darkness, summer heat and millions of fleas. He was soon housed with a series of cell mates, and after five months, he was, and a personal

appeal from Count Braggidan, so one of his old patron mates. He was given warm winter bedding and a monthly stipend for books and better food. So he was like no, he's kind of living live in the life. During exercise walks he was granted in the in the prison. He found a piece of black marble and an eye and bar which he smuggled back to his cell. And when when he like temporarily he didn't have any cell mates in his room, so he spent two weeks sharpening the bar into a spike on the stone. When he began to, like, gouge through the wooden floor underneath his bed, like he's going

to escape through the floor. I did, dig a hole in the floor. Dig a hole in the floor, because underneath, he knew that he was directly above the inquisitors' chambers, so it's like, just, he could get out. Which is pretty funny, but then just three days before he's intended escape during a festival where no officials would be in the chamber below. Cass and over was moved to a larger lighter cell

with a view. Despite his protest, he was perfectly happy where he was, he's like, no, I'm good. No, I'm it. I'm not in here. This shit hole is so good. No, you know, you're lonely. Yeah, I'm comfortable.

But most of the pill on the wall is mine. It's fine, right? So they move him and he's like, oh, and he's very depressed. But he overcomes his disappointment. Yeah, you got to get busy living or get busy dying. And he sits up another escape plan. So he gets the help of the prisoner in the adjacent cell, Father Bellby, who was like a renegade, a priest apparently.

Oh, I love this character already. I don't want to leave. He's got a view now. He's got a view on a white one Should a view end this awesome sidekick. So good doesn't have to pay rent sounds great So he smuggles the spike to the to his his mate same spark same spike and and then the the priest makes a hole in his ceiling Climes across and made a hole in the ceiling of Casanova's cell. And I don't really understand,

like some of this does not make sense, because basically Casanova's cellmate was a spy. There was spy on Casanova, but Casanova scares him. He like intimidates him and terrorizes him into silence. So eventually, the Balbi breaks into Casanova's cell. They get out onto the roof, I think. Like, it none of it makes sense. Eventually, they drop into one of the rooms and they change clothes. They have a little bit of a sleep. They change clothes. We're out of the cell.

Yeah. Well, that's this hell. Yeah. Yeah. Well that's exactly what they do. And then they just kind of casually walk out. And there's like a guard there. Because there'd be like, I think there'd be some sort of function. I said like, oh, we just fell asleep after the fuck. Oh, how do we do anymore? And they get out.

And they get out. So they really do walk out the front door. They walked out the front door. That really does. Escaped by gondola. It is totally, honestly, careful. It is totally on a scale fool. I'm scared of what they just wander out. Now skeptics, skeptics reckon that Casanova's tale is a little bit implausible, right? And I thought that too.

Well, you did say this doesn't make any sense several times. Well, yeah. So I am one of the skeptics. They sort of figured he probably bribed his way out. However, some physical evidence does exist in the state records, including repairs to the cell sealings. That's pretty good. They kind of match up with that time, so that's kind of cool. Yeah, that's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. Yeah.

Well, how many times have you broken out of an inescapable prison? How many? Yeah, how many times? We're talking like full inescapable prison. How many? Yeah, how many times? We're talking like full inescapable. Yeah. What do you mean? Are there degrees of inescapability? Yeah, I think there are, Jess.

I'd say. Why do you turn on now? I mean, as well, because Matt and I have broken out of many prisons together. Oh. Yeah, we were once known as Bonnie and Dave Warnocky. I'm sure. Some of the reasons I was known as Bonnie

for a little while back then. I like it. Yeah, I like it too and it And set it out our fans. You know how I feel about nicknames, so you feel real good about them. Bonnie. Bonnie. I like it. Bonnie is a good one. Yeah, Bonnie Stewart. Oh, that's fuck. That's actually really my bunny Yeah, I I Yeah, I've broken out look I'd say clear Six but there is one that was like borderline in escapeable So that's why I asked the question sure one of them like that like it wasn't different It wasn't on the sign. Uh-huh in escapeable

But like it was strongly implied it was like one of those unwritten rules Uh-huh sounds to me like it's a really like a high security prison, but they accidentally left the door unlocked to something like that. Yeah, like they themselves, if you really pushed them, admit that it was a scapeable. Sure. They'd, I've got them to admit that when I had a gun to their head, and I would argue. Uh-huh. They're like, yeah, okay, it's a scapeable. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, say it, like you mean it.

Uh-huh. And I'm going to blow you a fucking nose off.'m like, yeah, say it like you mean it. Uh-huh. I'm gonna blow you fucking And then and then how did they say it and they said Sorry, Bonnie and I said look. It's fine and we like we chatted and we chatted yeah I actually had a six-packed to Cardi Mexican views on under me. I'm at the time. Yeah I don't know my pronouns in that right to Cardi who knows? I'm I don't think that'd be really exist Look just Google it mate. I mean you were there. You were only five feet ahead of me

I remember you were tapping your watch Carry on come on there is no time for small talk. I'm like come on this guy's having a he's not you know he's having a rough truck Anyway, we knocked down to be pretty quickly. What was the question again? I'm not sure. Was it cool? Do I regret asking? Yes. So Cass. Cass. He's out of prison. Anyway, so he flees to Paris and and he's matured, guys. He's grown up. How old is he now? He's still pretty young. Young still, but he's... He's in his fucking question. Well, he's in Paris, but he's like, he's got nothing. Right? Because obviously he's just breaking out of prison.

To find nothing. No, sorry, I'm just trying to be facetious, please go on. The Oxford Dictionary, which is what nothing is. Fuck off Dave. Okay. Interestingly, you were going to go for an actual actual well, I was looking for a joke midway You thought something was gonna come yeah, I'm gonna keep talking long enough a punchline. What no Well, no, please see me just bail me out bail me out. I've gotten pretty good over 50 what 51 to two episodes of

knowing The look on your face when you need bailing out. Look, I was about to hit gold. Well, I'm sorry to have stopped you. One big away. Yeah. My little gold detective was bippin, bippin. All right.

Anyway. Bonnie is on fire. It's bad. Don't start him, please. So he's in Paris. He's in Paris. He's in Paris and he's looking for a new patron because he wants somebody to support him again.

I love this lifestyle. Me too, I'd be up for it. In fact, we were talking about that recently. We're like, you know, elderly rich men just look for company on holidays. Like somebody just to come on holidays with them like it's not always a sexy. It's not a sex worker. No, I don't know. Yeah, I totally do that. I think like would you expect, expect payment as well or just cover your cost? I mean I suppose

it's probably dependent on the person in the situation. But I'm assuming you'd come to some sort of arrangement. Yeah. A contract would be drawn. Yes. I've actually done that. We didn't draw a contract with my grandpa. I needed to go to China with someone and I volunteered. What? I was his arm candy. I needed to go to China with someone. Hmm.

Why did he go? It was actually, it was like a thing that he booked a tour and it was like my parents in one room and then he needed to share a room with someone else. And I was like, he needed to share a room. We know. It was like a twin share room. They paid for it's like a tour. Yeah so he could have gone alone but he thought it would be a waste of money. Well essentially he extended his all to his grandson and said would you like to go to

travel? Or would you use some sort of decoy so he could get through the border control with something up his butt. Oh my god. I thought that was my butt. There my butt that there is where the plan differs See Matt You want to check my grandpa's butt, but you would not have checked mine. Would you? That is a good decoy. And that is how I got through a custom

Okay, what would you you would fit like one pill in your butt? Do you think that my butt is less curvaceous Like cavity has a smaller cavity than most Yes, small or to small man. I mean or small cavity Has to act small man small cavity. I think you've got a small throw you can't eat more than one pee at a time So can't imagine you I imagine your poop would be like rabbit pellets I don't know to be offended or to be...

I don't know how to make it. I mean, it's just... It's just a fact of life. We're just putting the mirror back up to your butt and showing you what's in it. Not a lot. Which ironically is exactly how I got the thing out there in the first place. Yeah, you need a mirror.

It's all about angles. Otherwise, it's very comfortable. Yeah, because it's very hard to find your own butt. I don't know if you know this. To find your own butt. It's very fun. Yes, keep looking at your strike cold virtually. It's very hard to find your own butt, I don't know if you know this. To find your own butt. It's very fun. Yes, keep looking, Matt.

Yours's right cold, eventually. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- Yeah, I've discovered I have a small cavity. We don't know that for sure. It's an assumption from two people who do not have any knowledge of the human body. Look, I think I'm going to say of my butt. Oh, your butt. You have a little bit of knowledge. I think you're... I think you're... I think your butt. In jeans.

Oh. Okay. I can't picture your butt. I can't. I can't picture in a very small... You've ever looked at your butts. I've been sexually objectified and loving it. Sorry.

And neither have I said anything complimentary or... Oh, I don't expect you to praise my... Never really worked really objectifying you. I was just saying, like, I've seen you in person before. I don't know if you knew that. Oh. Like, weekly. She's doing it right now.

I'm looking at you right now. I mean, you're sitting down, but I can kind of see the side of your butt. I can see like hip. I feel threatened. I feel very threatened. I feel like you're eyeing me off. I'm not. You say she's squinting so she can see your butt.

Yeah, then my glasses on. Normally, normally people... It's just presented. It's presented. Check. It's out. You're like, okay, I need to describe. Normally normally people Check it out Okay, I need to describe He's sitting on his chair with his arms cross looking old man and us but they're just kind of like lifts He's leg a bit so I can look at his butt Hey, I'm a team. I'm not gonna put where his butt should be

I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give it all away Keep some cards at my sleeve and some things at my butt. Yeah, you got it. Things, see that's where I think you're being, you're definitely being ambitious thinking you get things. Things, all you multiple, so it should be. I begin to get thing up there. Oh, I get one thing.

Like a small, maybe half a, half a, like what are we talking about? What kind of thing are you smuggling? I was assuming drugs, but I don't know that fire arms fire arms Bullet I reckon you'd be able to get a bullet up there a small bullet for a pea shooter. Yeah, a Pea a pea. I really frozen pea that you could put inside again chewed it quickly I was thinking more like a like over cooked one so it's quite mushy He's kind of like a mushy peep. She peeping up, but Beggars can't be choosers. There's no purpose

You mean you can't define the The texture or I said overcooked so it's mushy It's mushy mate. You got a mushy peep. I'm smuggling one mushy peep. Yeah, can I that cost my grandpa? I'm smuggling one mushy pee. Yeah, that cost my grandpa What is the Chinese market offer for a much you know? How old were you? Oh, this is this time about five years ago, okay? So you're you're 21 your butt cavity would have been fully developed. Oh, yeah for sure. I was a Little you're not a boy not yet a man, but still Britney Spears. Thank you. You were Britney Spears Do you reckon you get more stuff in her bottom?

Look at this I'm out on a limb here But I reckon everyone in the world could fit more in there, but I knew I'm gonna baby. I mean I'm including small animals I really like I really I I mean, I'm including small animals. I really like, I really, I rise to a challenge. So fun. Oh, are you going to try and put something in your bag? I'm going to do it now. Don't, you know what?

Point to something. First love podcast. No, we put something up, Dave's calling. Oh, I do it right now. Point to something in this room. Are you going to do something in this room? No, Dave, you can do this in your own time and please don't message us about it afterwards. What do you point at? He's drink bottle of course.

You go for it and it's like it's not one of the it's not the one that crushes down into anything. It's made out of aluminum. Oh aluminum for American listeners. Aluminum. We're so in sync. We are in sync. Just like Jersey too. Yeah, there we go. Yep. Can I, Drock and I should go on with the podcast maybe? I'm gonna be distracted. Are we doing a podcast? Yeah. I'm gonna be distracted thinking about how offended I am, but please do a good one. Can you just like pause your butt thinking for now? I know it's hard. My butt. Yeah, I know you butt's hard. Thank you. But tiny. Firm. Firm. Thank you. Yes. Now we're talking.

Because it's- These are some words you like. Yeah, a lot of this. My butt is made of butter. You know what though? If we were having this conversation but I was the target, it would be incredibly creepy, wouldn't it? No good at all. Man, that's the thing about female privilege. Where does it end? Where will it stop? Where does it end? Well, it's stop.

We got it too good for too long. Yeah. Hey, don't see me arguing. Um, okay, so. Can I, before you go on, just to get you back on track. Every time I hear Casanova, I just think, Casanova, Casanova baby. So I just had to sing it once.

That's Chennai Twain. What? Come on out. Is it, oh that's who it is. What about? Hey Dave, please. For the first trivia night. So have you ever heard the team name

quiz team Aguilera? No, that's good. Oh. The second one is common after trivia, Newton, John. Oh, very good. No, it is not good. No, it's pretty good. What did I quiz in my pants?

Oh, actually, that's second. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's I hadn't heard that before. Not terrible, but a bit of a stretch. I haven't, like, daves of real trivia veterans. I'm still impressed by any sort of quizzes. Sure. Quiz quiz, dofferson. Oh, very good. Very good, yeah. I like that.

There's a AFL player, Cyril Reale, is it? Yeah. Cyril Quizzle, that's yeah. Cyril Quizzoli. That's pretty funny. That's so bad. I love it. It's pretty bad. I love it.

I love really bad ones. Do we, we were needing to pad this episode out, right? No. If you love a report with short, I'm going to say, if you could just pad it out. No, I was saying the opposite. Maybe some butt talk. I was saying the opposite.

And the quiz puns. No, I was saying, I've got more more to go and we need to get through it. I mean I'm enjoying butt talk as much as the next person. Is that any segment? And you know I hate being the stifler. It was time management. The one with the hot mom. Stickler? Stickler. Is what I was going for? What? Stickers. What I was going for. Oh, I can't even sentence right. Wait, well, I mean just say, Casanova, Casanova, baby.

So we're in Paris. We're in Paris. He's got nothing. He's got nothing. He's looking for a benefactor. He's looking for a new sugar daddy. That's how we got here. Yeah. new sugar daddy. That's how we got here. Yeah, so he becomes so through through his old friend

Dibbonus, oh, French is no good, who is now the foreign minister of France. He is advised by by his friend to find means of raising funds for the state as a way to gain the trust of friends. Right? So because he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's I've got a punch on for a punch punch. So he becomes one of the trustees for the first state lottery and one of its best ticket salesmen. So he's selling tickets to the lottery. You know how he's a gambling man.

I've lost track. He's a great gambler. He's a great gambler. He's obviously quite charming. So he's like selling tickets to the lottery. Well, yeah, a passionate one. That's right. The same as an art mutually exclusive. He's a great gambler, he's obviously quite charming. So he's like selling tickets to the lottery. Well, yeah, a passionate one. That sounds a lot mutually exclusive. That's right. Yeah, he's great gambler, but not necessarily good at it. I think the casino would count him as a great gambler. Yes. Great customer. Right, so by doing this by becoming one of the trustees of the first lottery

and by selling all the tickets, he actually like quite a large fortune quite quickly like he's making some cash now. Oh there's a lot to be said about fucking people over isn't there for money? Yeah there's- There's a lot but- Yeah Nah but worth it though eh? Um yeah I reckon. Anyway so now he's got money-

We're doing it wrong Jess. We're doing it wrong. Have we not- are we not making millions from this? Oh, from this or anything else. Ah, yeah, not a good point. But hey, we're following a dream, I guess, or... I've been bezel'd all the money, so I'm rich. It's great.

What money? All of it. Where are you getting money from? Where are you getting money from? Don't ask questions. But that seems like a very valid question to ask. Just buy a lottery ticket and shut up. That's probably how Casanova is selling in American. Buy a lottery ticket and shut up. They're like Casanova. This guy is charming.

He's charming as shit. Just do what he says. So now he's got money, right? And he's like, he's moving in all the high circles. And it's his own money now. So he's not even money, right? And he's like, he's moving in all the the high circles. And it's his own money now, so he's not even like, you know, or the sugar daddy. Yeah, but so now he's like, he's with all the top class people. He's moving in the cool groups. Okay, if he's in high school, he's not hanging out with the bloody, the kids playing chess. Chess club. No, I mean, he'd probably be hanging out with the drama kids because they're the coolest ones. Anyway, I don't know. Dave, shut the fuck up, you were a drama kid too. Yeah, and I was not the coolest.

Dave, I really thought you'd have my back on that one. No, love drama. Love theater. I wish I had a thing. Love check-off. Check-off. Brecht. More. Oh, Stanislauski. I don't know, I wonder what I have no idea what I would have been stereotyped as a school. Stoner. Just by the look of you. Not by your actions or your drug use. Never been stolen. Yeah, but just by the look of you and your drone nature, Stoner.

People, yeah, that assumption was made at times. Yeah, I know, mate. Ioner. People, yeah, that assumption was made at times. Yeah. I know, mate. I know. Hey. Hey. I showed them. It's OK to have no directional passion or interests or talents.

It's OK. Yeah, it's great. It's great. It's fine to have no talents or interest, and not even have a drug, have it to blame it on. It's great that most people that you went to school with have probably forgotten you exist. That's great. Good people that you went to school with have probably forgotten you exist. That's great!

Good on you! Hey, Maddie! You feel quite over there now, buddy! Search if there's something to say! There's no defense! No, you've taken the butt from your mirror and held it in front of your face. The mirror from your butt, I meant, fuck! That's a weird one!

You're taking the butt from your mirror. You take that back. Old mirror butt stupid over there. No, I reckon everyone at university, no high school, thinking about me right now. I reckon they were. Bloody hell. Is he a store lie if they say? Wonder what happened to that guy.

What happened to him? Who? That's what they say to each other. Wonder how magnificent his beard is now. It was so good when he was a teen. So he's moving in all the fancy circles and he jups many of the socialites with his occultism. You know how they thought he had some sort of... Oh, because he saved a guy.

Yeah, yeah, right. So they think he's got some sort of... He's got poison of his chip. Yeah. He's got... He's one of the occult. Anyway, so he... Hey guys, if you don't shoot his chip. Yeah, he's got his one of the cult. Anyway, so he goes if you don't shoot him in the heart, he'll probably feel better. What kind of magic is this? What is this? Where are you from? But if you must shoot him, please use this bullet from within my butt. So, silver bullet in his one of his butt. So Cass is just using his excellent memory,

which made him appear to have a sorcerer's power of numerology Again numerology sorcerer's power, okay, but everybody thinks he's just amazing He also can remember numbers. He remembers things And not just I don't think it's just numbers. I think it's also like He just has a good memory, so he recalls things and uses yeah I have this parasol tape think of a number right now between any number any number Okay, I got it you got one yeah 64 oh close 69

The funniest number I like to think that he was probably just predicting things that no one could confirm Northern I like to think that he was probably just predicting things that no one could confirm Northern Ireland. I like, ask me what I had for breakfast when I was seven on the 26th of August. What do you have for breakfast? Bread. I had bread. Oh, very good. Thank you for using my birthday in that imaginary flashback. No worry.

You're birthday. I have 26th of August. 26th of August. That's what I would have said. Yeah, and I just heard it and I The memory already could not remember your memory is amazing. Yes, the memory. It's the memory over there So they used to call me Bonnie mr. Memory. Oh, it's a complicated nickname. It is. Hey, but if you got a great memory You can remember it. Well, yeah for me it was fine Because I got the get the memory, but you know, this is okay.

Okay. So, Cassanova also claimed to be an alchemist, which made him really popular with some of the most prominent figures of the era because alchemy was really popular amongst the nobles, particularly the search for the Philosopher's Stone, the first Harry Potter book. They all wanted a copy and most of the book shops had run out. So, Alchemy of course, being turning base metals into precious metals. Yeah. Gold. So, they were all looking for the Philosopher's Stone, which is sought after as, because it's supposed to give you eternal life. Right, so, so everybody, all these nobles. So, people want more on Spikewim. Yeah, pretty much. So, he's prof profiting from that too because he's just bullshitting and they're like, oh my god, give him

all your money. He's amazing. Love this guy. Yeah, he's so good. So as the seven years war began, Cass and over was again called to help increase the state treasury. So he was entrusted with a mission of selling state bonds in Amsterdam. Like don't send him to Amsterdam. Was Amsterdam always... I think it's always been a... and well who knows actually this is a long time ago. I think Venice is at this point the party capital here. Well that's true. That's true. So maybe Amsterdam's still finding its party legs you know. Oh okay this is why because Holland was the financial center of Europe at the time at the time That makes sense. And then it's bloody topsy-turvy back there.

Yeah, Holland is where all the money is. Venice, party central. Come on. Can't keep up. Now, now it's not like that at all. So he succeeds in selling the bonds at an 8% discount. I don't really know what it all sort of adds up to, but he's made a lot of money. The following year he-

Sounds like he's ripped off the Treasury. Probably. I'll give you all this for 10% less than it's worth. it adds up to, but he's made a lot of money. The following year, he- It sounds like he's ripped off the Treasury. Probably. I'll give you all this for 10% less than it's worth. But, it made him rich enough that he was able to buy, oh, sorry, to like found a silk manufacturing. He found a silk manufacturing. Like he started one.

He was the least one in the first place. Yeah, an idiot. All right, yeah, I'll give you that. So sorry, but please edit that now. Nope. That's one of the worst things I've ever said in my life. That's not true at all. But one time you said hand-moot, so.

Someone liked it. I think you dig in the hand-moot. Oh, that's taken off online. I think it has. I really thought that was going to catch on. I think it was going to become? I don't think it has. I really thought that was gonna catch on. I think it was gonna become a meme. I think we, we lost follow was that way. I remember that too.

So he's now he's making silk. Now you can make good money from silk back then, can't you? Like it's a rare thing, right? Yeah, so he's got like a silk factory. Right, so he's like, he's doing quite well. And then of course, because he's doing well

he starts to fuck it up. So the French government even offered him a title and a pension if he'd become a French citizen and work on behalf of the finance ministry but he said no possibly because some people speculate it was because it would frustrate his wanderlust. You know, it doesn't want to, it doesn't want to settle. He never does things for too long. It's like he's got commit mini-shoes. Oh, but becoming a citizen, will that tie you down? I don't settle. He never does things for too long. He's got commitment issues. But becoming a citizen, will that tie you down? I don't know. Who knows? Apparently according to him.

He's got itchy fate. Echee fate is the line. Is that a thing? Yeah. He's got itchy... Boles. He's got itchy balls. He's got itchy balls.

He's doing a lot of fucking... He's got athletes for... Yeah, on his balls. On his balls. On his balls. It's weird that he keeps putting his balls in his pair of Nike. doing a lot of fucking athletes for athletes for the balls athletes balls it's weird that he keeps putting his balls in and his pair of Nike's it is weird it's weird that he has Nike's it's cool that

he does oh it's very cool very hip very cool here's a head of the game but I think he is the game yeah yeah and I good call right so he's reached his peak of fortune but of course he can't sustain it because it's Casanova, and as soon as things start to go well, he fucks it up. So he ran the business poorly,

he borrowed heavily trying to save it, and he spent much of his wealth on constantly asons with his female workers. Ooh. Yeah, he's creepy, he's very creepy. Oh no. So for his debts, he's... Wait, do we like this guy?

I don't know. I don't know. I'm a flip-flopper in any situation, but this guy, wow. It's a good story. He's not a good person. So for his debts, he's imprisoned again, but was liberated just a few days later. He doesn't have a patron to hide behind, and his enemies are closing in because he burns bridges a lot, so he makes enemies.

He literally burns bridges. Literally burns bridges. So he sells the rest of his belongings and he secures another mission to Holland to distance himself from his troubles. And then things just continue to not go so well. He gets arrested again. He escapes to Switzerland. He just kind of keeps moving around. It's very, very strange. And he travels all over Europe. He travels to England in 1763,

hoping to sell his idea of a state lottery to English officials. So it's like he's like trademarked the lottery. Yeah, I'm wondering right, like you know when people say he's a bit of a castanover, I'm normally going, ladies man. Now I'm gonna be like okay wait in which way is he in and out of jail a lot? Yeah, yeah, shit gambler or he had many jobs. I know you mean woman eyes, yeah, shit gambler or it had many jobs. I know you mean it woman eyes, okay. Oh, okay.

Just checking, just double checking because it's got a lot of facets. The more you know, the more you know, you know. Oh, I know. All right. This is great. So in 1766, he was expelled from Warsaw following a pistol duel with a Polish Colonel over an Italian actress, a lady friend of theirs.

Oh my God. Now both duelists were wounded, cast and over on the left hand. He's hand recovered on its own after casting over, refused the recommendation of doctors that it would be amputated. They were like, that needs to go. And he was like, man, be right. And it healed. So again, he's... Oh, that's to go. And he was like, man, we're at, and it healed. So again, he's, it's the occult. This man is magic.

It's the occult. He just gets, he just knows. But back then, they were like, no, you got a little bit of a scratch on your leg. Lop it off. So yeah, well, you've had a good run. Now you've never run again. Now, I just kill him.

Well, if that happened to your left leg, it could happen to your right leg, so we better take that one and try to get him off. Get him off, get him off. Get him off, just put wheels on him. You can do it too. But wheels, it's the future. Everyone will be getting around on wheels.

Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Right, they were. And one way. Right, they bloody were. So now he's sort of known across Europe for his reckless behavior and and he knew he'd have difficulty overcoming his notoriety and gaining any fortune so he heads

for Spain where he wasn't as well known well as resort Spain well I well I have nowhere else to go I'll go to Spain I had had some a bad way boring old Spain I mean are there party capital of Vienna and aminogas slum it in Ibiza Woo! So not that many doors open for him though in Spain just disappointing so He just kind of roams around for a little bit a little bit And then he's Spanish adventure was a bit of a failure so he returns to France briefly and then to Italy and and then he's Spanish adventure was a bit of a failure. So he returns to France briefly and then to Italy. And in Rome, Kessonova had to prepare a way

to get back to Venice. Because Venice was sort of like, you fuck off and don't come back. So he wants to try and get back to Venice now, because that's where he's from and he wants to go home. So to suck up to the Venetian authorities, Kessonova did some commercial spying for,

but we, what the hell is, but it was a spying. New job, new job. New job, we should have had a job count. You know, we had like death counts in the past. We should have had a job count. It feels like we're about eight or nine. Yeah, it's something other. It is, it's very 10-wide.

Yeah. Very heavy time. So by doing a little bit of spying, he was finally permitted a return to Venice. It's September of 177474 after 18 years of exile. So he hadn't been home for 18 years and they finally let him back in. Oh, it's probably changed.

He doesn't even want to like it anymore. Well, they actually like, they, we're actually very welcoming to him. He was kind of treated like a celebrity. He was like welcomed back home, which is quite nice. And even the inquisitors wanted to know how he'd escaped from their prison. It's like, but how?

Do you do it, Cassadover? He's great. Very easy. I just dug a hole in the roof and walked out the front door. Oh, I thought it was inescapable. Okay. Never thought about that. Should have thought about the front door.

Oh, he really should put one on. We should put one on. Maybe get a man on there. Get a man on the door. God, he's really should put one on. He should put one on. Maybe get a man on there. Get a man on the door. So of his, you know, three previous patrons from Venice, one who I was at live, Dan Dollo, and he invited Tassin over to live with him. And he got like a little bit of money from him and tried to just live from his writing, but it wasn't enough. So he reluctantly became a spy again for Venice and reported on religion, morals, commerce.

Most of it was based on gossip and rumors that he picked up from social contacts. So he was just like gossiping. Yeah, Hurricane Brittany and Justin might get back together on the roof. No, I thought they were not. They will not. She said they were done for. Yeah, nah, also he said something bad about Virgin Mary. What?

Yep, not really a Virgin. Not really a Mary. So at age 49, the years of reckless living in the thousands of miles of travel had taken their toll. His smallpox scars, sunken cheeks, and hook nose became all the more noticeable. So he obviously survived smallpox, that's pretty great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty great guys. Remember one third of people died. So he's doing pretty well, but you know, he's one of the lucky ones. You can tell that from the rest of his life story. He's one of the lucky ones. Right. And now he's like, he was all easy going before, but now he's

kind of guarded and he's grumpy. And Dave was right, Venice had changed and now he's like, he was all easy going before but now he's kind of guarded and he's grumpy and Day was right, Venice had changed and Now he doesn't have as much money for gambling and women don't want to have sex with him And he doesn't have as many friends, so he's just kind of bored. What do you mean you only had sex with me when I was rich? What? Yeah, what do you mean when I was young and wealthy? You don't have to be one of those sexes. When I was good looking, now I wasn't to have sex with you. When I was good looking.

When I wasn't covered in scars and had no money. And now I'm middle aged and poor and you won't have sex with me. What's a hook nose? Is it like a hook hand? Yeah. There are places nose with a hook. Yeah, man, it's like a hook for him. That hand looks pretty infected.

We're probably going to take that off and you nose. We're all a place with a hook. Hey, if you're going to get a scratch on your nose. I'm going to hang your keys the hook. Hey if you're gonna get a scratch on your keys mode If you're gonna get a scratch on your hand that can happen to you know, it's yeah We'll place it with a wheel your wheel around Everyone's different with wheels So why the future? Things are going so well guys and then you heard of the death of his mother and this is sad more painting

He visited the deathbed of Bettina Gossie, you know the girl he was in love with when he was a kid Bettina Bettina Betty what are we at a collier Betty? Um, he, she died in his arms. She's kind of nice like it's Wait, unless like his arms were straight No, no Well one of them was a hook. I was caught in her eyes Stop it Because that would be a painful way to live in of the worst you're already dying and then someone gouges your eye

Firstly they goes in for the kiss and his nose hooks. Oh Then he's trying to get it off with his hook hand and that just rips her face He's on to be slightly been replaced by wheels and some of these wheelin down the stairs at a control Skid marks on her back some reason That's worse. She wasn't even dying. She was just having an app. It's like Romeo and Juliet all over again She just had a nap. Oh, you've made a real mess of this Casanova Casanova, baby Casanova, Casanova baby! Please, this is the sad moment that we all are falling off Casanova and this show. We all are falling off Casanova.

Still got the hook. Did you know Casanova met Benjamin Franklin? No. Yeah, I met while attending a presentation on aeronautics and the future balloon transport. I was guessing over there. That makes sense. That does make sense. Benjamin Franklin is a hundred dollar bill guy, right? Oh, he's on a note, anyway. Yeah, the family. People talk about they talk about Benjamin's. They're making a man, they're making Benjamin's yeah, the people

Oh Like who's on our currency we could say something cool. Oh, we're out there making banjo patissons Make it's a banjo Some day building banjos. No, I'm making making banjos Big time big time what's he on banjo is rain? He's on the 10s Banjo's big time big time What's he on? Banjo's rain. He's on the 10s. He's on the 10s. I'm not saying making it rain He's making tens of dollars. I'm making it rain Sir John Monash. Yeah, and Dame Nellie Melva See yeah, that's how frequently Matt and I see $100 bills. Yeah, but I've sleeved it because I'm in bezeling from the pub

What pod money? Hey, I'll handle the business No, that's fair. He's the businessman. Thanks. I'm the soul I'm a mogul anyway Pressing on so he becomes a secretary and panflatee to Sebastian. Yeah, there's a secretary He's a secretary now Sebastian Sebastian for Sareeany, who is a Venetian ambassador in Vienna, and then for Sareeany dies, and so Cassyn overbecomes like he's searching for another position. Now a few months later he becomes the librarian to count Joseph Carl von Waltsdine. What?

I'm sure you made that up. I'm sure he got late and he decided to cut the report and just start writing what it became. I feel like she was making that up as she was saying it. Say it again and she tried to make it work for us. She changed her mind four times mid-name. So crop a bomb, see you. What was it?

Johnny James James. He became the librarian to count Joseph Carl von Waldenstein. The Waldenstein, Waldenstein. Joseph Carl von... Joey Joe, Joe, Joe, Julian, Shabadoo. That's the worst name I ever heard. Joey, Joe, Joe. Joseph Carl von Waldenstein.

Let's say it all together. Joseph Carl von Waldenstein. Joseph Carl von Waldenstein. Okay. We'll never forget Joseph Carl von Waldenstein. So Calvin Walstrand. Okay. We'll never forget Joseph Calvin Walstrand. So essentially he's the librarian to the stars. He's the librarian now. What's going on?

He's probably just saying he's got all these uni degrees. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm called a couple of these shops. He's a personal librarian. Yeah, I'm sure there's probably more to the role than just you know Just falling books and the ju- No! I wanted to make a ju- I said ju- I said ju-

You wanted to make a ju- I wanted to make a ju- I don't want to make a ju- Get on there. I knew he was a little sister. I didn't make it like I just said the words. I didn't make a ju- You make a ju-

You make a ju- You make a ju- You make a ju- You make a ju- You make a ju- You make a ju words I didn't make it you make a Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Joey Curve on wall stone. Oh, that's right. Look at my palm You'd get it tattooed on your butt if you had one Yeah, that name would not fit this too long high five men again for that Oh a little butt warner here over there. Hey, let's call it little Tush Little Tush one happy with that. Hey little Tush

Hey girl little tush happy with that hey little tush hey girl you hey we haven't found that you have to rude it you guys are hitting on me i'm always hitting on you guys stop it stop it

okay one more time gotta go girl. Catch you at the store We'll get a pitta rap He doesn't like pita. This is very good. I feel uncomfortable. Why? What's happening?

What's what? How do you have a girlfriend? Why am I the single one? Haslin me girl What what I don't understand what that is what are you referencing? What is it like it's a weird act like half accent what are you doing? What are you doing with your life day? Oh, so I'm trying to deconstruct this laugh. Yeah, you're right.

This is what it happened. Oh, I haven't laughed for so long. No, we know. Not like that. Oh, finally broke mat. Oh, man. But all it took was a pit or a My face, I was the weirdest thing. So random.

What are you doing? So random. That's so random. Anyway, let's get this over and done with. Girl. Girl. Girl. Let's get this.

Hey, do you go on, girl. I made my vagina close up. Wow. Look, I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to say. Look, I don't know what to say. I just don't know what to say. Hey Matt, how's your vagina? What's going on? How long did you have a vagina full? Before it closed up, because they said girl. I want this to be one.

Please Jess. Oh Jess, let's bring this bad boy home. Oh God, it hurts. I actually thought I was gonna throw up for like a minute. Oh man. Wow. It is hot in here. Oh.

Okay. You got the viper's. You're okay. Okay. So. No. Ah boy. That's very, very funny. Okay, okay, so Oh boy Very funny things have gone way I'm just gonna try and finish this up now But like all cast and over I mean he's what his life gets super sad and we're just gonna like brush over it No, it doesn't he's fine anyway. He's not fine. He puts puts something in the wrong place and the deceptimal system and he gets fine.

Yeah, he gets. That's 604. That's 606. No, he's probably a very good librarian and the job has like security and it's good pay, but he's bored and he's really frustrated. Even though it gave him a lot of productive time for writing, which is good, but his health had deteriorated quite dramatically. productive time for writing, which is good. But his health had deteriorated quite dramatically. And he found life among peasants to be less than stimulating. Oh, sorry. Oh, I can't relate.

I can relate. Can you? It is nasty. You sit with us each week. Yeah, wow. It's awful in here. It's kind of, it is a little bit rude that he does turn up in a gold plated horse and carriage

Those and it and also like why a horse and carriage. Yeah, why and how does a gold plate and horse move? But somehow one of you makes it happen. I replace it for a tiny tush one. He makes it happen I said, oh my god, it's just good. It's a little bit like a body-tiny tush a bigger That's a little boy get Tushy implants. Why don't you yeah your tiny Tushed bastard I've already had him oh wow oh wow before that was just concave yeah science did this science is a long way to go this is the best we got and it is there's something about Dave or wait like we're like oh could we record on any of these multiple times like you know I've got a Joe Bright and Jess and I, like,

no, we don't know what that's like. Yes Dave, we know. We know, thanks. Well, one day you two will be a librarian to the stars. Hey, we can only hope. We can only hope. And like, that's the thing. He gets along kind of well with the count, like they're fine,

but the count is younger and quite eccentric. And this is so funny. This is like the point they may, like they're fine, but the count is younger and quite eccentric and this is so funny, this is like the point they may like the count often ignored him at meals and failed to introduce him to important visiting guests. This is my librarian. Oh, hook nose. Hook nose librarian. Excuse me Prime Minister, this is the librarian. Yeah, that's so strange, but anyway, cast and over's only friends seem to be his fox terriers.

Oh, bloody hell, what a turn! Yeah, he's really taking a turn. Like the other staff don't particularly like him, because now he's kind of old and sort of grumpy. Because he can't hang out with the cool kids anymore. It's like, well, okay, you're a fault. But anyway, this is awful. In despair, Casanova considered suicide, but instead decided that he must live on to record his memoirs, which he did until his death. So he's like, no, no, no, my story is more important to tell. Right. I was going to, yeah, I was wondering how we know so much, and that's because he's, yeah,

he writes it all down. So, was he a trusty, trusty writer? Well, do we believe it all? Well, but that's the thing so if the very start we mentioned that his his memoir is regardless one of the most authentic sources of customs and norms but it doesn't necessarily mean that you know we can trust every single thing he said every life was like he's from that century yeah they thought I was a wizard because I am. Because I am a wizard. So he, like he spends

basically the rest of his life writing his memoir. He sort of began writing it in about 1789 as the only remedy to keep from going mad or dying of grief. He completed the first draft like three years later in 1792 and then spent like the next six years revising it. By this stage, I reckon he's probably, it sounds, I imagine he's more machine than man. I mean, about, was about seven or eight years earlier, he was already, two wheels, four wheels, four wheels.

Four wheels on the nose. Four wheels for a nose. A nose as well, which was, man they could fly, like a little bit off the ground. Yeah, well, he's face good. He's face good. He's face good, hover. Some people just said that was due to his neck, but I think it was the nose.

It was mostly the nose. I quite like how his memoir opens. It says, I begin by declaring to my read of that, by everything good or bad that I have done throughout my life, I am sure that I have earned merit or incurred guilt, and that hence I must consider myself a free agent. Despite an excellent moral foundation, the inevitable fruit of the divine principles which were rooted in my heart, I was all my life the victim of my senses, which I quite like. He's kind of like, yeah, fucked up. That's fine. But then he says, you will see that I laugh at them.

So like my folly's are the folly's of youth. You will see that I laugh at them, and if you are kind, you will laugh at them with me. So he's like, nah, I fucked up a little bit. I've had quite a life. It's cool. Let's just laugh about it, which is kind of quite like that. We're gonna ask a look back and think that, wouldn't it?

So they kind of summarized like what he's done. So he's like by vocation. He was a lawyer, clergyman, military officer, violinist, con man, pimp, dancer, businessman, diplomats, spy, politician, medic, mathematician, social philosopher, playwright and writer. He wrote over 20 works, librarian, librarian, they didn't mention that there you go play right and writer There's two different All right, they're different here. Is that we split me as I was a rope poetry poetry writer wrote Nonfiction nonfiction wrote yeah, right my man miles wrote some young adult fiction. Yeah, picture books

For the right philosophers stone wrote several editions of the Babies is club Under a pen name and what was that pen name RL Stein Picture books, for the most of the stone. For the most of the stone. For several editions of the Babys' Hills Club. Really? Under a pen name. And what was that pen name? RL Stein. Really? Very surprising. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Those ones did not sell well. Very interesting. In some of the several countries. There we go. Really? Yeah. That's weird. So just to finish up.

Fun facts. Well, not really kind of. Casanova is a long established term now in the English language. So according to Webster's dictionary, the noun Casanova means lover, especially a man who is promiscuous and and unscrupulous lover. The first usage of the term in written English was around 1852 and obviously there's been lots of books, films, theatre and music that have referenced a cassinova but now we know the man behind the name. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh just like you like as you said that you'd be closing a book and you were obviously you were closing your big Let the bound book he was no longer cast and over he was little women What an amazing life quite a life isn't it is there a he's led your film where he plays cast and over Kelly, yeah, you think you're thinking of 10 things ahead about you. Great film. Great film. You're thinking of two Batman regrets.

What? That'd be a great film. I love to see the single Batman regrets. This is regret. Oh, putting on this voice, I've lost it a lot of times. Yeah, I was thinking Batman returns, which also wasn't him. It was Batman at the Dark Knight. That's right, Batman and Robin. Batman and Robin.

Okay, good. Jim Carrey as the Rid laugh. Yeah. So that was my report on Casanova. We got there in the end. Well done everybody. That was an amazing life. Yeah, quite a life. We've got a lot to learn, you know, we're in our mid-20s, Matt's 112. So, I mean, we've still got our lives ahead of us. Matt's trying to do that. Matt's just going through that record.

That's all he cares about. It's to live longer than any human is ever lived. That's what you live for, isn't it? Can I get him, Mattie? Yeah, look, I was alive in the time of Casano. We hung out. What's he like? You should have mentioned though that start

So I could have like well, I mean wasn't I trying to know about his wheel feet and his hook no? That's true. You did mention that you talk about what he glossed over and is Yeah, he didn't talk about that much. I used to play this game with his face. Yeah, I'd throw a little loops little little Loops hoops little loop you play quite Where you stick on loopy loops. Oh, yeah loops you play coit's now we used to call it cast and over face game sure how does catchy yeah I mean see where they remark they did remark it when Milton Bradley bought the rights sure off another

one of our good friends Abraham Lincoln okay the best old days name that came to mind. All right, great. Let's wrap this up. Let's. Oh, thanks for listening, guys. And thank you for the report. Jess. Thank you.

It was Batman Dark Knight as well. Okay. I know we got some Batman fans who listen. They will be pissed off. You know what we're just fucking about? We know what Batman is. We live for Batman. Jim Carey is my favorite, Ridler.

I think that'll put their mind to this. Yeah, that'll be all right. Yeah, that's right. Hey, we have a new social media too, don't we? Oh my goodness, guys, it is all happening here at the Doogawon headquarters. We have launched an Instagram account. We have joined the 21st century.

Yeah, it's just babes. We want to say, what's at DoGoOn pod? Like everything else that you can find us? Yeah, it's a chart. Yeah, we're throwing up some photos from behind the scenes. And we have throw up some photos. I've eaten the photos. I'm going to take a selfie right now,

and then I'm going to gram it. Yeah, gram it. What about you take a photo of my delicious I don't want to say I love you Tush, I don't think fans wouldn't fans. Well, that was up myself I don't think I listen as one eight. See your Tush. I beg to differ Okay, if we have popular demand, I will show you my touch no I will go out on a limb here and guarantee no one's That's it. I'm gonna do a Twitter poll. You did a Twitter poll. Would you like to see my touch?

You did put up a photo of you and your underwear eddling the podcast in Greece. Oh, that's right. If you zoom in, have a look at Dave's touch in Bond's Undies. Put up one of those. What do you feel? Magnifying glass. But to keep up with all that stuff, you can follow us on Twitter, at Dugo UnPod, the gram, like I said all that stuff, you can follow us on Twitter at dogoonpod,

the gram, like I said, Facebook, people have been messaging us on there. If you want to request a topic like Lewis did to request this one, email us as an option, dogoonpodatgeema.com or on Twitter, you can comment on Instagram now if you like, any way to get something in the hat,

and I will be back with myself doing a report next week. Ooh. Did Lewis also suggest yours? No, he did not, but I'm sure Lewis would love this topic. It is out of the hat. Have you already written your report? I have, well I've started writing it. I've done the research because I do. And he is ahead of the game. I do several months. But I did do it on a week ahead. Yeah, whatever. I imagine. I imagine. We're going to pull up our socks. Well, Jess, you know what it is. ahead. Yeah, whatever. I imagine. I'm imagining. We're going to pull up our socks.

Well, Jess, you know what it is. What is it, Matt? Because you and I, you know, a lot of our days spent having a butt. So Dave saves a lot of time. How long does it take you to put on jeans? Because it takes most of my day. Yeah, it's hours. Just to get him over the butt.

Over the butt. Dave's, I reckon Dave saves three or four hours a day. Pretty old-fashioned. Yeah, three or four hours a day. I mean, that's how I can afford to be the only one of the podcasts with a job and still do the most research. It's amazing. How does he do it?

It's the butt. It's the butt. It's the lack of butt. You know the Syriges? Just when I have a job, just not one that we can have to always be at all the time like you you're free Well, I'm a slave to the job and you're a slave to the bean you fucking coffee drinkers. Okay mate. All right. Oh, yeah the coffee bean. Yeah, yeah sure We've got to go this is I would not be surprised with this is nearly our longest episode ever so thanks for hanging with us if you have

Until next week. I will say goodbye long a separate so thanks for hanging with us if you have. Until next week I will say goodbye. Bye. See you later, girl. No, no, no. Oh no, I'm a moot scorn. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

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