Two In The Think Tank - 54 - Mad Jack Churchill

Episode Date: November 2, 2016

Mad Jack Churchill was a unique operator... he marched to the beat of his own drum and played a role in some of the most incredible stories of World War II. Matt's gonna tell you all about it, with thanks to listener Steve for the suggestion. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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Again just Perkins hello. You're leaving some weird pauses today.. Why those weird pauses, Dave? I kind of like it. Give my words space to breathe. Like a fine wine. So like a really sinking. Mullet, swillet, spit it into a spitoon. You know, that's what the thing you spit in wine. It's a good spitoon. One of the best words ever.

Yeah, no good girl. What's your favorite words? Glockenspeel. Oh, yes. Mine is, I mean, I don't have one, so I'm having the think of one right now. Really? I can't tell. Oh, how about I'll give you another one. I really like Onomatopoeia. The words... Yeah. It's a sound. Like, I really like the word plop.

Plop. Plop. Plop. I don't like plop. Yeah, and you like what it is. Of course you don't. You like what it is. Of course you don't, because it sounds a bit like poop. Well, I think that's... Yes, I think that's exactly the reason. I think that's one of the many charms of the word plop. Agreed.

What about, what about your... Tortology. Tortology's a great word. Oh, I think you're gonna say tortilla, which I was talking about. Also big terms, tortilla. Tortilla, yeah. Tortilla,ology. Torteology.

What about the river Thames? Oh, it's really fun to say it. That is fun, but I'm always scared I'm gonna say it wrong so I try not to actually say it in conversation luckily in Melbourne doesn't come up a lot Doesn't come up and I can pronounce Yara which is our river see you actually avoid saying Tim because I think I Because I'm because it's not spelled the way it's yeah, it's spelled Thames. Yeah, so I'm always scared I'm gonna say Thames or Th things the British have a funny way with Spelling so I just don't talk about it which we inherited yes, that's very true because we speak English we do we do it I'm speaking English right new oh no mistake

Ram mistake though will say right Still speaking English you. I for all right We laddy all right great. Hey, is that pause and you guys looking at me meaning you want you want the question to kick off the show? Wow against let's get stuck in I mean is that what I mean? I would have been nice just a chat a little bit more about Our day What you had a favorite word already? Yeah, Glockenspiel. Glockenspiel. Good one.

What, do you like the Spider-Bet song Glocken Pop, which is played on the Glockenspiel, I think? I'm not even sure. I know that song. Well, do you still prefer? I'm a little bit worried. Wait a minute, I'll have a bloody tricky listen. Broad and Kelly.

Oh, hang on. Oh, not again. He's in every week now. He's in all the time. He's in all the time. Dave, you know Oh not again. He's in every week now. He's in all the time. You know what I mean? He's always with us. That's the school with you mate.

I'm not going back to Iceland as well as. No it's his school. Right. That's what they call it. Oh no don't. Taint all of our Icelandic listeners with that. Oh yeah no I just meant that's where you go. Yeah.

Don't worry I'll be editing out those Iceland mentions. Mentions. Mentions. Well Matt, I may ask you to do go thames. Oh no, it happened. I said the word. To go in. To go in. To go in. That's your turn, Maddie Matt, and as per usual, I'm going to assume that you've been working on this for over a week. You've had over a week as you always do. It's true. I mean, I've had my whole life has led up to this moment a lot of ways. And I mean, even though I didn't start the report in my teens or earlier, in a lot of

ways I was preparing for this report throughout my earlier years. Correct. And now I feel like I'm finally ready. Wow. And I felt finally ready about five hours ago. Sure, great. Because I didn't want to start before I was fully ready. Oh, you mustn't.

No. Like I woke up early this morning, and I'm like not yet. No, no, it's not time. It's not time. I don't want to muck this up. So instead you thought I'll go for a 10k run Which is a weird thought, but it's the thought that came into my mind. Sure. Hey, it's really nice then to be a part of something So big for you. Yeah look

Yeah, it's special that up to this moment and we're here for that. Isn't that amazing? It's it's almost Did you wait for us? Well, we thought oh? Yeah, I mean, I's almost, did you wait for us? Will we photo? To wait for us. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I didn't know as you guys, oh. Particularly, but I knew it was a Dave Warnocky and a Jess Perkins type.

What, it was a type. Or if it's someone with those names. Some with those names. There's gotta be others. There's haps of Jess Perkins. There's a few Dave Warnockies, but, wow. I'm glad you waited for me. Yeah, me too.

To be honest, you were the first one that came along, but I still, I took that as a sign. I was gonna say that's a for me. Yeah me too to be honest you were the first one that came along but I still I took that as a sign. I was gonna say that's a sign though. Yeah, if anything You don't wait around for the second day of wonaki. You know what I mean If it turns out this episode is no good the reports no good It's because you because I wanted wrong day for on a key and I wasn't wrong. Yes, but it's all on me or you Could we be not on mat? Correct certainly not on me. If this is terrible it's different. It's anybody's fault except Matt. I wish I could take some risk. I know you don't. I know you don't.

I can't. I feel helpless in that way. I know. I am excited and also scared to undertake my destiny. It is your density. What's that from? I didn't even mean to quote the word density. It's your density. It's from back to the future. My name is Foyas Dad says it. Hey, who was one of the executives behind back to the future? Oh, I believe Marco J. Fox. Some sort of a associate producer. Oh, a associate producer J. Fox some sort of being some sort of a so see it Nothing but nothing but the best for Michael J. Mm-hmm, but I think they may have been Okay, I'm gonna give you permission to tell the episode that because if you don't get going Oh, someone's gonna steal your idea. Hey, I've got a million ideas. How about a movie about a guy that does something? In Africa everyone's talking about Africa

That's the number one hot continent right now. I'm right. Okay. Okay. Get going Matthew. Okay. I gotta go I've got a driver Ferrari. I shoot my bridge Thank you, hey, that's really great idea and maybe I'll say if I can work in some Africa, but And maybe I'll see if I can work in some Africa, but All right, great. I think I think Africa is mentioned Can you call this episode the shine book prophecy because that's a great film title Yeah, yeah, if you think I agree kid that's a great film title. Oh my god We've got to use approval on the title fabulous. That's really good. That's hard to get because he always changes the title I'm sending

Anyway, hit us with the question then Stewie the question is Perk oh Who was the second most famous churchill in the second world war the second most famous churchill? So it's not gonna to be Winston then. Winston is out. Winnie. I would say that he is number one. And there is only one other Churchill that I can think of. I can't think of any other Churchill's. Is it Clive Churchill? No. I think that might be a cricket. I think it's a cricket. I think it was a cricket from the 70s. Charlotte Churchill. No. Churchill. What's it? Is anyone anyone's called Churchill I don't know another church. It's not down to the hat I had never heard of this guy. Is it

they related to Winston? Is it his son? It was thought at one point and that is in the story but no it's not related. I do not know. He any may well not be the second most because he's obviously not particularly famous. No but that's a great question. I couldn't think of any other of the second world war specifically. Yeah, he can't his his main Climbed a fame was true in the second world war Just he was a he was a real he was a bit of a player. Oh Frickett player. Yes, yeah

Clive a Clive Lee play. Cl clively play. A clively. A clively. I don't, I, okay, I think you're gonna tell me a name that I've never heard. His name, as it was suggested to us, Captain Crazy Jack Churchill. Captain Crazy. Which I didn't say I'm referred to as much of my readings.

He got the nickname, a Mad Jack Churchill. Fuck, that's a great name. Mad Jack. Have you heard of this guy? No, I haven't, that's a fantastic name though. Readings he was he got the nickname a mad Jack Churchill Mad Jack have you heard of? No, I have it that's fantastic name though. Yeah, I mean it yeah, I don't he didn't give it to himself Sure some other soldiers did a great. Well, you can't give yourself nicknames trust me. I've tried some of his subordinates What was your attempt? I don't know. Oh, have we talked about mine before cobra? In your eight one week one week, I was like, don't come and dive.

Cobra. That's a terrible nickname. That's fucking great nickname for a poor thing your old child. For you. Like, looking at you. I am the Cobra. I don't mind it.

I would need a reason. And you would have had to have not come up with it. Yeah. And then maybe it could have happened. I spit venom into people's eyes. Yeah, sure, that's a good reason. So now you've just got to work back from there. So I've got to start spitting.

Yes, firstly. Okay. Then you've got to get some venom. Oh, fuck. I mean, you don't actually have to start spitting before you get the venom, but maybe it's a nice way of working up to it. Good practice.

You don't go from zero to 100 and 100 representing venom. Spat venom. Yeah. Yeah, I got. Wow. All right, Kobra. So Captain Crazy Jack Churchill. Yes.

Who was who suggested this topic? And I love it already. It was sent in off Twitter by a man named Steve who was at Shades 909 or at Shade S 909. I'm not sure how he It was so good if he tweets back and he's like it is Shade yes actually Wait for finally. We often do get people to it and say hey love that you chose my topic But that is not how you say my name every week I was the one that you got Matt recently it was like I mentioned a listener

I'll leave it's Eli I'm gonna fuck up Eli. Yeah, I'd common name wait I was saying a while ago about how was I saying that on this podcast how How we... How many podcasts you on, Chan? How we in Melbourne have swapped E's and A sounds. Oh yes, with a helicopter you were saying. Yeah, and helicopter. Yeah, which I think now that I'm aware of it, I'm trying not to do that. I've never noticed that. But I think I might have done that with I like, I'll put E and I. Oh boy.

So, Shade S. It must have been like, poor Australian because it's American guy poor Australian You little cuties. He's like yet to spell Eli phonetically for me E Y Oh That's fun. That's a hot new take. Yeah, anyway, three little name. I'm gonna go drown myself in the times We're gonna go drown myself in the times. Oh no!

I'm not saying it wrong. That's what I'm... Thames. God damn it. You got it half right? Yeah, well, oh boy. Alright. See, that's what I'm worried about that I'll do, so I don't talk about that river.

Times. You know, look, we know what you mean. Maybe they'd come and call it the Yara, you know? Great. And we'll Americans call Melbourne Melbourne, which is outspelt, so it makes sense. Yeah, but it's like a third degree burn, not Jason Bourne. It's Melbourne. But it's actually Melbourne, like Bion.

We can't even pronounce our own bloody town. We live in a bin. But if they said Melbourne, I'd still be like, better, better than Melbourne. They put in, is there, but there isn't, oh in there, isn't it? Oh, fucking hell, Matthews. Is that it? Yes, so that's the one.

Did you just forget? The born identity. Did you just forget how to spell the city that we live in and have lived in for our entire lives? Look, I moved here when I was five, so. Oh, fuck off. What'd you move from? I never knew this.

A development. Move from Charlton country Victoria How far away from Melbourne is that it's about two and a half hours two and a half out you can still pronounce Melbourne Wasn't aware of it as a cut My first word was wish that was on purpose my first word was Melbourne It's been hard to recover. I must admit. Melbourne. Melbourne, anyway. It's kind of fun, anyway. It's just a little fun fact to feel like.

I mean, like, American listeners, if you ever come to Australia, just say melbourne, and then we'll already like you. No, I kind of like it when they fuck it up. I don't. Well, I, there's one thing. They're not fucking it up. They're just saying it in their accent, which is fine. They're just pronouncing it phonetically, probably.

The panda to us and say it in our accent, not in our accent, don't mimic us to us. God, it's hard, isn't it, geez? Well, there's one thing I'm confident about, The panda to us and say it now acts it not in our actual don't mimic us to us god It's hard isn't it geez well There's one thing I'm confident about and that is that we're probably saying Steve right so this episode Suggested on Twitter by Steve unless he comes back. He's like my name is stave and as is it's actually possible We're also being we're also giving Americans pronunciation Where else are given American shit about how they

pronounce our city like why would they know anyway but- Exactly. I mean you've heard previous weeks Dave and I butchering the American accent you know. Yeah but then Americans have come back and said they loved it. Yeah because they're much nicer people than I. They are much nicer people than I. They're being they're being very generous. They're being very kind as they always are. And we value them as people and listeners and friends. Yeah, I think of them as friends. Yeah, I go friends first, I reckon. I'd say comrades.

Oh, okay, that sort of makes it feel like we're all in this together. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's right. In Russia together. Are we in this together in Russia? Oh, yeah. We're in Moscow right now. Very nice.

Mad Jack Churchill was born. It's like such an exciting topic name that we've talked about something else with it. I'm really keen. Mad Jack Churchill was born John, Malcolm Thorpe, Fleming Churchill. Oh, very good indeed. In Salem in 1906.

His father was working there. 19, what's he? What was it? 1906. A good, sit a good year a good year And when he say say long my line say long. It's my in as in a former Sri Lanka say long. Yes British sail on now Sri Lanka awesome in 1996 great a. Great. A wonderful year. Oh, great.

Yeah, I must admit. For cheese, wine, and magic. Oh, yeah, right. Magic. Yeah, that sounded like a different word. Magic. Magic. So yeah, he was born a bit very soon after the family moved back to Surrey in England like the

next year or something. I guess. Father was moving around a bit. I think then the year after that, maybe they went to Hong Kong for a little while and then back to England again. Just traveling. Just traveling. I mean the British Empire was still a thing back then and they owned a lot of stuff like yeah. That was, you know, you remember. Oh yeah I was there. Yeah actually he said a good year. It was a good year. He had two brothers Thomas Bell Lindsay Churchill and Robert

Alec Farquhar Churchill. Okay. I only read that I mentioned the brothers because of Farquart. I wanted because I was automatically going to be like no Robert's got the shit his name just because it was like Robert it wasn't as interesting but then he had Farquart. And I think his nickname was Buster. Yes. Buster Farts. I so badly want a good nickname. And like a nickname that I get called so often that then people meet me and I introduce to me and buy that nickname and then years later go, what's her actual name? Yeah, well, like people don't know.

People don't know my actual name. That's amazing. I want a nickname that's so convincing, but like so good that I get called it by everyone Well, I reckon we can make it happen. I don't know if we can Bob I tried Bob. Bob's not bad early on. Yeah, Bob's it's Bob's cute. I like Bob Yeah, we'll try and make that a thing hashtag Bob hashtag Bob. No, you didn't really commit there Should I start and I guess we'll try and make that a thing. Should I start getting comedy rooms to put me on posters as Bob Perkins? Oh no, just do any peas. Just Bob Perkins.

It's too many peas. By the rock Johnson. Bob Perkins has had. I mean it will help people laugh at you. Yeah, that's all you want. What about your Bob Perkins? So when you say it quickly it sounds like Bob Perkins. Bob Perkins.

Yeah. Or just like Bob Perkins. Bob Perkins. Yeah. Or just like Bob Perkins. What are the days? Just Bob Perkins. Everyone's like, what? Anyway. I'm son of wonder if you guys don't even wanna hear about that kind of thing at all.

I wanna just workshop some nickname ideas and then I wanna go home. I am very keen to hear about Fakward, Bell and magic Perkins. Yeah. No. Magic. Yeah. Mad Jack. So those two brothers Tom also, they were both, so the Buster died for his country. Wow.

Off the coast of Malta during Operation Pedestool. Seems like a pretty good operation. It sounds like one that you wouldn't want to give your life up for. Like this, you know, Operation Barbarossa. Oh, that sounds cool. Operation Pedestool. Pedestool. this you know operation bar barossa oh that sounds cool operation pedestal pedestal hmm and it was just them going to get a pedestal back behind enemy life Betty fell over I got gangrene which developed into a smallpox somehow oh

not that's a nasty and then he got a rock on the head by his own pistol. What? Yeah, yeah, let that sink in What an image we're painting We don't know heaps about his younger years for Mad Jack, but we do know he graduated from the Royal Military College in 1926 and served in Burma with the Manchester Regiment. He would have been 20 years old then because he was born in 1906. Which is a good year. Which is a good year.

26 also a good year. Right. During this time in Burma he enjoyed getting around on his motorbike. He had an old school motorbike. Yes, they all went back then. Probably new school. Probably quite modern at the time. Oh look.

Stayed the art. Yeah. At one point he went on a solar ride for 1,500 miles. Not so long, like. That's a long way. Dave, what's that? What's 1.6 some 1,500? 2,400. 2,400 Ks. It's quite a long.

That's a lot of Ks. Trip, I believe. Fuck, that's actually, yeah, that's a lot. And apparently for some reason everything about him like shares the main same main stories and they're all slotted you know that so I'm guessing maybe they all came from the same source material but he on this ride towards the end of it he came off second best in a collision with a water buffalo. Oh no. It's mentioned a lot.

A water buffalo. He should have water buffalo. Yeah, so I don't think anyone does good in that collision. The water buffalo. Probably. Oh yeah, probably just shook it off. So ow. Was that?

Yeah, huh? Yeah. That's the noise I would imagine it would make. One of the things he's famous for is his bagpipe playing. Very good. Very good. Very good. The plot placings. He is this man.

He learned. He learned. That's how people knew where he was and I could track him down and give him medical attention. Yeah. It saved his life. First and last time a bagpipe had ever saved a life. He got into bagpiping during this time in Burma. He started the local culture.

Well, I mean, you were British. They're like our culture is the culture. You like bagpipes now? Yeah. And cricket. And he studied under the pop major of the Cameron Highlanders and got pretty good Wow, it's an official rank The buffalo still dying over there. Yeah, it's a buffalo not I would never disrespect the bagpipes, but a water buffalo

Fuck them right off worse animal animal I've seen in a while. Ha, ha, ha. It was in a quacker, they're adorable. Oh, I haven't. That's okay. You gotta check them out. You gotta check them out. They don't look real quackers.

Yeah, they smile. Their natural faces are smile. I love them. They look like a, yeah, look like a... I fucking love them. Character out of that squirrel cartoon. Yeah That's screw cartoons secret squirrel To say yes the adventures

Yeah Yeah, do you just confuse Robert Danny Jr. with a squirrel? Whirl? Yes. Wait, the Avengers, and I said the Advengers. Is that a different thing? No. What about the two squirrels as Chip and Dale rescue ranges? I have no idea.

The rescue range. I have no idea what you're talking about. So that's the thing from the old days. Was that before Dave and I were born? Was that from 1926? Probably. So the honest it probably was. There we go.

That's why we wouldn't know, because we're young, so we wouldn't be aware of that. I mean, it's all relative, right? Yeah, and relative to your age, we are young. Yeah, in comparison to your West state of the art, so I'm sorry. I'm old-school. It's weird that he does his reports on a typewriter, but it's kind of endearing. It is, and it makes a beautiful sound. It's gorgeous.

It's very distracting. Please, it's tick away. I'd take a lot of work to edit it out of him. I was like, it is the podcast on a tight breath somehow. He was a real unique guy. It's just a red pen, Jess, it's not that hard. It was quite a unique character. That's kind of why some of the reason why he's famous is because he was a bit of an oddball, you know,

marched to the beat of Zone Drum, so to speak. Oh yeah, I know a couple of those, hey. Really? He got to tell me more right around. And obviously that's a bit weird in the army, in the army they're trying to make it when they get a follow-up. Oh yeah, follow-up.

You meant to follow the rules, follow orders, whatever. He got reprimanded for some weird things like using a hot water bottle at one point. Sure. No, your feet must be cold. So what the hell is that about? I don't like hot water bottles. Controversial. I worry that they'll break and burn me.

Yeah. I don't like it. Yeah. And I was like, I don't like being warm just in, like, yeah. And I also don't like being warm just soon. I get like two warm in one patch. And it doesn't spread. But I've always been a, ever since I stopped waiting in the bed.

Hello. Sorry to break. So two weeks ago, I'm like, you're just gonna do it. Matt looked at me like, you're gonna say that. You still with the bed you done bitch. Oh, I got it.

Your words not mine. They were my words. Anyway, I got it. You're with not mine. They were my words anyway I've always had electric blankets. Oh, they just make the whole bed Hang on if you wet the bed can you not have an electric blanket because I'm Really? Oh, I know I'm scared of electric blankets. What if it's wet? When was the last time you wet the bed? Yeah, but like I obviously women's the last time I broke a water bottle and burnt myself That never happens.

I just worry about that one million. I'm sure. I need to get a hot water bottle that burst while you had an electric blanket. And then it caused me to piss myself. Because your hand was in it and that old one started to be a scenario. Wives tail. But does that not work? But I did.

I didn't wake up from the boiling water. You didn't wake up from any of it. Did you wake up from the electrocution? I'll tell you that. She's got a lot of thoughts going on. Too many, maybe. I want to hear about Mad Jack. Why was I talking about a whole water bottle? He was reprimanded.

I was on topic-ish. Another time he appeared on parade, I'm just with the army, and he was carrying an umbrella, which apparently is a big no- obviously with the army, and he was carrying an umbrella, which apparently is like a big no-no in the army, just bringing your own umbrella on a march when you're parading. But it was, there was forecast for showers. When his superior asked him what the hell he was thought he was doing, Churchill replied,

because it's raining, sir. Well, he sounds like he's prepared. He's got a hot water bottle for the cold. He's got a rain, like umbrella for the rain. He's got a rain like umbrella for the rain Like the question would be why not? But it's admirable. What were you thinking? What were you thinking? I was thinking it's raining petrol in a petrol powered car Yeah, what were you thinking? Oh? It was forecast a rain surf fair enough

So we served for 10 years before quitting in 1936. How does one quit? I believe, like it was, it wasn't super clear. But I felt like he was just, like he, he mucked up a test to get a higher rank. I sort of read a bit ambiguously. I was wondering if maybe you did it on purpose. Yeah. Because there was a theory that he, this was during peacetime. I was wondering if maybe you did it on purpose. Yeah.

Because there was a theory that he, this was during peacetime, it was between the two world worlds and he was a bit bored of that. Sure. He wanted some action. So he started the second world war. He's always saying. Yeah. Along with Dave's mate.

Undercover, he killed Archduke, Franz Ferdinand. That's World War I. Fuck. Undercover, he financed Hitler's Rasterapal. Undercover of Darkness, one not. He went into Hitler's room, lots out and he just like slipped money into his metal hundred bucks into his bedside control. There we go. There we go mate. This will tell you over. Make it happen. So he quit, is that what we're saying? Yeah, so quit. I was just wondering if you

have to like give two weeks notice or that's all that's all. I think it is tricky. I have a friend who really struggled to get like he found that he didn't want to be in there and he was hard. Oh, that's what I mean. I mean, I could would be really hard. They was like potentially they can make you say. Yeah and that's yeah that's a bit scary. Which is like, no, but I say. Yeah, and that's a bit scary, isn't it? Which is like, nah, but I quit. Yeah, I don't want to be here. Yeah, a free country, Australia.

Well, I like. You wouldn't think that you would want somebody to be at work if they don't want to be there. Totally, I think it's gonna be useless. I reckon if you prove that over time, the problem is if they think you'd be a really good soldier, they're gonna make it hard for you to leave and hope you bend their way. But if you definitely don't wanna do it, like eventually maybe, if you'd make a really good soldier, they're gonna make it hard for you to leave and hope you bend their way. But if you definitely don't want to do it, like eventually maybe, you know, if you'd

make a good soldier, if you're like, alright, I'll fall into line eventually because you've made it so hard. So I guess they make it as hard as possible. I don't know. I don't know. If I quit, they'd be like, oh thank god, you are. No good. Yeah, they definitely would accept. I've heard of other people like, I'm not interested in like yeah, you're not right for it. Bye. Thanks for stopping by. I think they'd be relieved that both of us will go. Yeah, I think you've literally test somehow. Yeah, what scenario are you guys feeling like you should be joining the army? What scenario like out of the three of us, who would be the best soldier? Well, that's two-world. Sorry, I'm not a lady.

I'm not the other ready to get in there. So you're saying you're out because you're a lady. They don't accept female soldiers. That's right. That's too old and I am perfect. I would say, I don't know, I reckon maybe date? The best, really. You have a small, you'd fit like into enemy bases. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm having fun out of a gut. He, he, he, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no It's a good thing. Yeah, you get the secret soldiers serum. So you're like really good and you get through all the challenges. Well, no, you're smaller. He does have a way to do it. Like he has to get the flag down

and everyone else is trying to climb the pole but he pulls out a bolt and the pole comes down and just has to go. Do you think him because it was on TV, they're not? No, I'm sorry, because I watch it all the time. I watched it the other day. It's I love Captain America. And the reason that he is chosen is because

of his excellent morals, like he's a good person. He helps people and he doesn't cheat. And he doesn't back down. He thinks his way through things. Yeah, so it's a good thing. But he's super weak. And physically very weak. He's like a small ill looking person.

And so he gets to know. It does sound a lot like you described every trade I have. Yeah, maybe I've never really. So it's a good thing you described every trade I have. Yeah. Maybe I've never really thought about being Captain America. No, we're not offering. I'll give it a try. I accept. No, Dave, you'll be me sunset.

When do I start? I know, Jess. I think we should give him a shot. Alright, Captain America. That's me the injecting thing, though. That's injecting him. Yeah. Alright, great.

He's the serum. The reason I ask, as well, reminded me remind me about like quitting jobs, because I've had lots of jobs in my time. About, I think I'm up to 11 or 12 jobs. Wow. I've had a lot of jobs. I have to commit me to shoes with jobs. And I was recently writing a resignation letter.

You've had three jobs in the last month, I think? Yeah. Yeah. You're not wrong. Four if you can't stand up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I currently say I have about, I have like, I work four jobs.

Anyway. And I was writing a resignation letter recently, and I asked my mom to have a look at it just to make sure it was OK. And she went, yeah, it's perfect. And then Pat had me on the back and said, you're getting quite good at this. Oh, no. That's very good. I was like well played. Sweet. Sweet melburn. and yeah it's perfect and then patterned me on the back and said you're getting quite good at this. Oh no!

That's very good. I was like well played and well played. Sweet Malburn. No she's so good. Oh she tames to you good. Anyway, it does some get back to the report. So he's quit, right? He's had his first stint in the army because obviously I said he's famous for being in the Second World War. So he gets back there eventually,

little sizzler. Yeah, I was gonna say, a bit of a tease. But in between, after leaving the army, he had a crack at being a newspaper editor in Nairobi, Kenya, Africa. Hello, there it is. I love it. It makes the world sound so small back then.

Like you can just bouncing around, he's been in... And he's not trained so much. To say it all. England, Burma, Hong Kong, in between that, now in Africa. Yeah, with some sort of army's. And it makes the world seem smaller yet it takes a lot longer back then to get in. That's a thing that I feel like some of the reports we've done recently that I've talked about, the olden days and people moving around,

it feels like they almost traveled more. Yeah, it does. It's like we travel less now. I think we, I think we holiday more now because it is quicker to get around places. I mean, it still takes forever to get anywhere from Australia. But I think it's easier for us to just go visit but we don't move and live.

I reckon we're... Maybe we do. I reckon the people we talk about are like a 1% type of... Absolutely. We do talk about, like, amazing lives. Yeah. A lot more than that, really. So that makes sense, yeah.

So maybe there's some new... All right, just forgot everything I just said. It was just an interesting point. He didn't tell... He didn't last long, though. I think he might have found that a bit boring as well. He also had a cracker at some modeling work. He did a model for some magazine ads. He did a bit of a looker. Not the photos I've seen, but I mean, I hope people look different

back then. And he's in his 30s. 30s. Yeah, 30s. No, today. No, it's weird to debut. Oh no, sorry Matt. No it's weird to debut. Oh no sorry Matt. But it is weird to debut as a model in the 30s right. But hey Matt you can have dreams. You got potential. I don't know what kind of magazines these were. What kind of ads they were for. They could have made the dentures or something. Sexy magazines. Oh I can mean. Yeah you could do denture ads I reckon. Yeah that's what we have to do with the ad. Just smile, you can smile.

Can you have to do this? Give me a smile now. Give me a smile. Give me a smile. Oh, no good. All right, maybe not. Give me a straight, like a salt tree face. Oh, that's bad.

No, you look like you're pooping. That's no good. Oh, no, no. Plop over here. Oh, plop over here. Do poo on. Poo go on, I will not. Do poo on. I will not.

Poo go on. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. I'm going to say. What? Poo on what? He also picked up some bit parts and films. He had a friend in Hollywood.

To that, who you know? Wow. And he was in films like The Drum, which had a role that caught on the ability to play back. Yeah, he's like the professional back part. Yeah, so he's a pretty handy popper. I'm happy with that. In the summer of 1938 Churchill came second in the officers class of the piping championships in Older Shot. And it was seen as being quite an amazing effort because he was the only Englishman in a field of over 70 So they were so just backpipes to go, I'm popping up and I'm scrolling. Yeah, they've got a little connection. Today.

Yeah, there's a nation. Today and now. Oh, well, I don't know why you're making such a bloody big song. Do I have a...do I have a there? Do I have a there? I mean, you were there last year, right? You might have noticed a couple in the... I was there... I was there two months ago.

Two months ago. Last year, two months ago, similar. I was there last year. You were there last year. I get you and I confused. Everybody does. So you second, that's pretty good. Yes. Yeah, yeah, quite good. I mean, I was saying it like it was good. You're saying like, I mean, he didn't win, but... No, so I was saying, look how good it was. He's like, English guy, look, I'm trying to, I'm trying to give him a little bit of... Does sound like a backhand comment. You're good for an Englishman.

Yeah, it's kind of like you're funny for a lady. It's weird when people say that to me. It's weird. I get so offended for you. Thank you. Appreciate it. During the years he spent outside of the army. He also worked on another skill of his that he became a little famous for.

Oh, God, is it sex? I was going to say wanky. He spent outside of the army. He also worked on another skill of his that he became a little famous for. Oh God, is it sex? Oh, he's gonna say wanking. That'd rather be better at sex, to be honest. No, good call. I mean, that was a top of the book. Let's get some skills then. What could he have gotten good at?

Motorbike riding. Sword play. No, yeah, he was riding his bikes, but I already mentioned that. He is famous for his sword, but that's not what it is His sword is he It is sex He's so pleased second to none. Can we have a clue? I like guessing things. It's a weapon Okay, is he good at shooting archery? Yes archery

That is awesome. It's good rules say and he picked that up after returning from Burma So he's only been known for a little while. And his expertise with the bow and arrow scored him a couple more film gigs, where he'd play an art show or whatnot. And then he shot for Britain at the World Championships in Oslo in 1939. So within it, yeah, only a handful of years. He's representing country. He's crazy. He's a bit like Kess and over and then he just like just does things and does them well And he just some people get really oh I wonder if he's the obsessive type or just a naturally good type Yeah, good call. Yeah, I reckon it's often it's a bit of

A bit of a bit of Columbia. Yeah, so in 1939 Dave you'd know one that you's pretty famous Jess. It was a good year for wine you know what that you's pretty famous Jess. It was a good year for mine. You know what she's and Dave's friend uh for the birth of John Lennon, no, it's not 40. You haven't mentioned Dave's love of Italy yet So yes 1939 Dave uh sorry I wasn't listening to you there Jess but uh the year of the first, well the first year of the Second World War. The first year of the first year of the second world war First year of the second world war could you say it's when the second world started fucking leader? Yeah, I did say that. Well, I talked over you so not

Basically, after Germany invades Poland and Jack's is pretty cool and he's like, oh maybe it's time to get back in that old armed forces. AKA the army. Oh! Because he's been wanting, he's been looking for a fight the whole time, isn't he? Yeah, he wants some action. That's what army's short for us. And he's been doing a lot of fucking army.

But now he wants a different type of action. With his bow and arrow, soon to speak. Bow. Oh, I've got a hope he uses it in the fight. That'd these bow and arrow, so to speak. Bow. Oh God, I hope he uses it in the fight. That'd be bow-n-er-an-er-o. He's bow-n-er-an-er-o. So... Oh, it's right there.

It's right there. That's why you're the best. Best in the bees. So we really listed with the British army and... Please let me back. Gone. Gone. Oh, please.

All right, then. I'm a water bottle. I know you're quit, but... All right, there. Actually. Alright, I'm in the water bottle. I know you're quit, but... Alright, man. Actually, they're pretty desperate when the world starts. So, yeah. They'd probably just let him in. Taking all comers.

And it just gets more and more desperate. They keep lowering the minimum height throughout the wall. It's like, you've got to be 5'10". You've got to be 5'8". Alright, if you are above 5'8", you can be in the arm. Yeah. They've been in. Children? Alright, you're in.

Alright, in German, Germany, yeah, they were signing out like 13, 14 year olds by the end. So just like we need people. Far out. Yeah, awful. Yeah, this isn't a pro-war podcast, Dave. That's what you're trying to do. I stop it with your propaganda. Yes.

So I'm trying to sign up kids to the war effort. Definitely against child soldiers. Oh, interesting. Interesting. And I'm on the record because I to the war effort. Definitely against child soldiers. Oh, interesting. Interesting. And I'm on the record because I have to be with all of these things. It's funny where he draws a line. Yeah, it is.

I mean, your whole way of life, they used to be fun with it. The Nazis. He's not a Nazi. Thank you. He sympathizes with that. No! This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Right, sorry, I do forget that distinction. It's a very important one to make. Yeah, Dave, I'm so sorry about you. I'm nice to be for the Nazi. I'm so sorry about that, Matt.

That will be the title of my photography. I feel no sympathy for the Nazi. I'm so sorry about that, Matt. That will be the title of my autobiography. I feel no sympathy for the Nazi. Because. And other fun stories by Dave Warnicki. Volume one. So, seven parts here is. I love a bold title. I love a bold title like that.

Yeah, thank you. It's pretty bold. And then by the end, twist. He does sympathize with another. Yeah, that is a good thing. He was being tongue in cheek the whole time. He was ironic. Oh yeah that's very good. He was being ironic. I don't know. I don't know about this. Oh geez always. So yeah he rejoined the army and his old Manchester regiment and was sent right into the thick of it in France, pretty much straight away.

He would have loved it. That's the French word for the thick of it, Dave. Oh. Do not make me repeat myself. Oh. Alright, I will. It's not bad. I will send you out to the oooooh.

Oh. That sounds nasty He he later said that he rejoined The army is Britain had got into a jam in my absence Well, I was well I was off so he reckons that the second mobile only started because he wasn't in the British Army. Yeah, I think that's it. Otherwise the Germans would have been like, you know what, we're not gonna invade Poland in case that crazy jack guy comes over here. I made a delightful preserved joke that Taylor listeners may have heard and may have enjoyed and I just didn't want to let that go unnoticed. So now I've acknowledged it.

Hopefully they enjoyed it. If they didn't read one, 15 seconds, you'll hear that again. And Matt took it all. I'm editing it out. Oh! Yeah, back all you like. Mad Jess Perkins.

He was there when Germany was sort of smashing through Holland, Belgium, and France. He was there for that. He was there. That's when he was right there in the bloody guts of it. In the... In the... So we're talking like May 1940.

By this stage, he was working his way up through the China command up and he'd become second in command of an infantry company. The Germans were pushing the Allied forces back and back where he was, but Churchill continued to be aggressive, often leading small groups of soldiers against the advancing Germans in counter attacks, right? And this is part of the reason why it's a bit famous because he's got this image right. He's been described as almost like a medieval figure. He's fronting his men carrying the bow and arrow

and a sword. No. When they just weren't really used by the army, he just had, he brought a few of his own He BYU and pieces, yeah. BYU sword and bow and arrow, well everyone else has got machine guns. Yeah.

No. This is a quote that came up a lot. He said this later on he goes, any officer who goes in action without his sword is improperly dressed. That's just not true. Well, that's simply not true. Maybe lying to us. Maybe substitute sword for helmets. Yeah, all like pants. Or pants. You need those. Pants is probably the first bit. Shoes. Probably pop on some shoes. Oh, yeah, pants. You need those. Probably the first

bitch shoes. Probably pop on some shoes. You don't know what's on the ground. You could step on some rock glass. Hands then would trousers and then shoes. They're the two most important shirt. Uh huh. Then store the order that you get dressed in the then jumper. Then bow and arrow, then helmet. Okay. That's how I, let's look.

I don't think it's an exact size. Oh, a serious question. When you get dressed in the morning, what do you put on first? My under, undergarments. Interesting choice. Out of the shower. Very interesting choice. I think so, yeah.

Mm-hmm. It feels weird being, having like, top done before the bottoms start. Yeah, I think so too. Mm. I've never thought about it, but I assume I do pants first for that exact reason. Yeah, I think that I'm- It feels weird having your top sorted and then then adding- Man, man, man, this bottoms.

Uh-oh. Here we go. It's a little controversial. For me, it goes under pants. Yes. T-shirt, then pants. Into trousers. Is it because you choose the T-shirt then pants. Or trousers. Is it because you choose the T-shirt first? Like that's the T-shirt on a weird day. Yeah, you add pants later. Yeah, go on. Yeah, yeah, and I know what I'm

going with my pants is either black or blue. Sure. But the T-shirt, it could be any of up to five different colors. Wow, what are the colors? Blue. Yeah, like green. Sure. Red.? Blue. Yellow. Green. Red. Bage. Interesting. Oh, those are the five. I want to be going on with that. The big five in the fashion world. So you don't wear black or white under your jumper there. Oh, he's got a combo. None of the five colors I mentioned. Five different colors. I've got a tri-color thing going on is it what charcoal charcoal round and black

All right on Sundays I'd like to reserve for charcoal brown and black Outwear fair enough fair enough if our listeners could let us know when we go too far with the self-indulgent fashion talk Hackett will they can't let us know because we've already done it Yeah, but I'm a listen it's too late I heard it listened. It's too late. Just a second. Let us know. It's too late And you love it listeners. You love to hear what Dave's wearing. Yeah, come on Most of the tweets are what are you wearing days? I was just sexy bastard. They name me. I was really just setting that up so I could now go home and Create a fake account and tweet and saying we were've heard enough about Dave's fucking teetre.

Is it because you want to go on with your report? Yeah. I will then do. Then do go on. There was a quote in someone's war diary of the time. What? This is just me. Just a diary, probably.

Yeah, no, it's a war diary. It's like, you know, like it's a, if you had a diary in the middle of say like a basketball game It'd be a basketball diary Is this is this a like a dear diary or just he's just like a schedule? A dear diary would be if someone had a diary in the middle of a deer Somehow, which is unlikely okay, so quote in this war diary I'm up to that. I'm up to that.

Okay. So a quote in this war diary said, one of the most reassuring sites of the embarkation from Dunkirk was the site of Captain Churchill passing down the beach with his bow and arrows. His high example and his great work were a great help to the fourth infantry brigade. Wow. I just want to say there's no way he's a five-point used for this. Right, come on. He knows boilers.

He, he, I, No, Matt genuinely doesn't know. He hasn't finished the rebar. Reating about him a little bit, because you know, that's sort of just like, so his side loves the side of him. They walk taller when they see him around because he's just this guy who's just out the front.

And at some point I read his summer saying that he he put himself in more danger than people of his rank normally did throughout the war they normally be you know be back for now all right yeah he's a he but this guy's old school like leading I mean I'm saying there's going to be some more people out there going that's not right this is I understand it he's sort of he's the one who's literally the first man out charging yeah head holding a sword a loft see I'd be the opposite saying like yelling walk well I think absolutely I'd be absolutely I'd be like I guys I would love to go seriously

nothing would make me happy and then to go but I have so much paper I just want to make a lot of money and they bloody the boss the the big dogs upstairs they are just they they will not let me go and I want to I want to is that my phone ringing just excuse me for and then I run away out of the wall I run out of the wall I wouldn't I don't know how I got there in the. Yeah, I would just say it left the oven on a lot of Fuck that's great. Can I give that one sorry guys? I left the oven on back in England. I've got a guy I've got a guy. This is bad and I've got a peaking duck in there. I like it crispy, but this is Redicc I'm not fucking crazy. I'm mad and I'm also crazy Jack, but I'm not clinically crazy More like endearing nickname crazy, but I'm not crazy crazy. No, I mean no mean all right catch your foot fall back to the duck as

The alarm I was cast back to the duck It's just another example of Jess talking over me Please do go on, man. You piece of shit. As the Allies continued to retreat at the Marley. Matt, you're doing a great job. This is really fun. I love you podcast. As the Allies continued to retreat at the Marley of the German Army,

Churchill took command of his company when his commander was wounded. And so now he was in charge. He started practicing some guerrilla tactics, taking small groups of soldiers on raids and that's anything lots of bananas terrible but I love it I love it so much that is not the worst that we've done even in this episode but that's the first time wherever guerrilla we've ever shut someone down for this

you know I'm so sorry that You're really like the animal. I'm so sorry. No. That is not on. But I love it. That is not a good one. Would a gorilla be a primate? No, that was fun though. Who did that?

That was me and Dave shat on me for real. No, you do it a bit. That was funny. Dave, you got a bit of a rap sheet. You got a bit of a rap sheet. It's adding up. It's almost like I'm in the podcast bad boy. Nah, that's a lie.

I don't think that's it. It's more like you're the podcast bad friend. Well, you're the podcast teacher's pet, but there's no teacher, so it's so weird. The listener is my teacher. What? That's right, I'm so confused. It's easy. We're taking down these bullies.

What are they teaching you? We're not bullying. We're telling jokes. It's literally our jobs! Did you hear that teacher? Did you hear that? Yeah. You haven't taken notes as well.

Your own report perkins. Oh fuck. You're gonna... You get two more of these. You got enough school detention. What are the school detention? Yeah. And Matt?

Consider this have warned. They're not drinking beer at school. Why is Matt? He's always drinking beer. Why, why, why, why, why, why wasn't I making any reference to him? I know. Sorry.

But Matt is, oh, he's now he's having a swill. He's having another beer. I'm having a swill. Is that a swill? No, a swig? A swill. A swill. Hey, Matt.

Yes. Do go on. One attack that Churchill led, he signaled his attack by shooting a Nazi sergeant through the chest with a barbed arrow. Oh my god. Wait until you see the barbed arrow go into the Nazi's chest. That is the command. That's the signal.

You won't believe it. Wait for my signal. Oh no, what happens next? Oh no, that was just. I thought we were doing clickbait stuff. They've already downloaded it. They've... they've baited. We've baited it and they've clicked.

And then so that was the signal and then the... And they charged. ...and then I was with them, did the open up. The machine gun fire. And just took them out. Wow. There's a... And this is supposedly the last recorded kill

with a bow and arrow in battle. Oh. Yeah, hasn't been one since 1941. All right. Wow, that's amazing. That is amazing. Great fact. Yeah.

You should say that for fun facts. That's what 75 years of. And yeah, that's quite a lot. What's that noise, Dave? Giddy up. 75 years of g And yeah, that's quite a lot. What's that noise Dave? I'll get it up. 70 pounds of years of getting up. I'm killing you with a bow. So that's a bit, that's bad. I'm so impressed. Most of the stories I was reading about it, they like they find all this stuff about him very endearing. And you know, like there's, it's a little bit troublesome talking about war and like building up the romanticism of it.

And I feel like a lot of it is, you know, it's a myth. You know, you're talking up this guy and it's going to look, he's our hero, he's an English legend, so we can all look up, you know, or even, you know, the allies or whatever. So I was trying to find someone who had a contrary view and I found this guy, he's a British weapons historian. I was quoted in an article. Oh, okay, a fun party pooper. His name was...

Michael Loads. Which is a great name. Oh, okay, great name for a military historian. He's a real weapons guy. And he was talking about how using that as the signal to kick off the offensive. This quote's about that. He says that that tactic doesn't suggest a specific advantage

for using the longbow in that situation, but rather a macabre curiosity of using the situation to see what it was like to kill someone with a longbow. Yeah, but that's because that's why it's bad, that's right? Yeah, I guess so. He, he said of course to the enemy They were gonna die the way, but I'm not entirely sure this is the clear cut honorable boys adventure story It first appears to be which is the way you hear it told mostly. Yeah sure

Which is an interesting thing. Yeah, maybe this guy's just like a oh he sounds batshit. Yeah maybe this guy's just like a... Oh, he sounds bachid. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. He's crazy if not mad. You wouldn't, yeah. He's, yeah. That's his name.

It's in the name. It's the goddamn name, the buddy Puddy Pooper. Oh no, he killed a Nazi. Yeah, that's the other man. How do you feel about that? I feel great. Do you? But I mean, do you feel any other things?

Maybe like some. I mean, there's two sides to every story, and now I'm seeing. Oh, now who's being a sympathy? Because. The nasty was a person. Was that sympathy for the devil I hear from Jess Birkins?

I think she's trying to get into your psyche. Yeah, I'm trying to relate to you. Which is, all right, Jess, I'd say be careful before you get into his mind. It's a dark place. Exactly. Do not stare into the abyss. The ab say be careful before you get into his mind. It's a dark place. Exactly. Do not stare into the abyss. We abyss my staring to you.

Oh my God, what's happening? There's something they're feeling things. He's calling his mind the abyss. Yeah, yeah. He's that arrogant. And abyss of a mind is a very, very good thing. Dave, I would kill. For an abyss.

For an abyss of a mind, I would kill. For an abyss. For an abyss of a mind. I would kill. Thank you. Okay. I don't have one. I don't have one, Dave. I don't have an abyss of a mind. How'd you describe your mind?

Just like my brother. This is literally genuinely how my brother has described my brain before. You know there's little toy monkeys that just have like symbols and they play the symbols? It's like home of symbols. Yeah. he thinks that's what's in my brain. You and home. Just end this noise. A little monkey. Dave, what's your problem? No, it's probably not wrong.

Oh, it's probably in multiple. I'm sorry. You've let everyone down. I really thought you'd know that. I'm sorry that you let you down. Listeners. Again. Abyssners. See, again. Abyssiners.

See, they subscribe to the Abyss. They don't, they subscribe to the podcast. Which is called Duga One and it is in no way in Abyss. What the fuck, we're at like, how many of it was done? 50 plus episode. My mind is one third of the, and of the show.

I like K-Che. One third of the show is in Abyss. I like K-Che. Settle down. Fuck, no. So sorry about him everybody. If you shut up, I'll give you an abyss okay champ settle down fuck it now I'm so sorry about him everybody if you shut up I'll give you an abysket no I'll be good

do we have any abyskits? now we uh sorry we're hungry the void of abysket I'm searching a year later in in 1941, um... That's abysmal. It took me a while.

It was the closest thing to a thing. I'm cutting it all out. A year later in 1941, the British Army were looking to start up a new crew called the Commandos. Oh, I... Come on, the story just kicked out. Yeah. And so they were advertising saying,

looking for volunteers to join this group. Are you mental? But yeah, they didn't, apparently they didn't talk a lot about it. But I did read that they did promise. They're saying, we can't tell you exactly what it is, but we promise you it will involve aggressive service. Do you love killing people with weird weapons? Are you mentally unstable?

I love the idea of, they're not giving you any, like we can't tell you any deals. You're gonna have to kill a lot of people. All right, cool. So you have any questions about who, how, not one. Oh wait. Give me a minute. Can I bring my bow and arrow? I guess, then I'm in. but who... how? Matt! Matt one! Oh wait! Give me my gun.

Can I bring my bow and arrow? I guess, then I'm in. Come in. Umbrella? Come on, mate. Come on, mate. Don't take the piss. This is serious.

So yeah, this got his attention. Crazy Jack. He's like a Liam Brella behind. And yeah, he joined up. The commander training took him to Scotland and this is where he met a lady named Rosamond Denny. They were married that year. Oh, I didn't fast back then. She was also bad shit crazy. Do you know why they did that? Because they wanted a bone.

No, because of that and also it's likely that he would die next week. Oh right, but that's not good for, why does she wanna do that? You know what I mean? I'm probably, what's in a bird? Is she get like war benefit? Yeah, maybe military benefits. That's awful. That's not what I was saying,

but you know, like you wanna get married because like, well, we may not have a time next. All right, just, yeah. He's being romantic and you went straight for money. That's about right? It's like, well, yeah, we get married now or I might die maybe tomorrow. Yeah, but why would, like, I get why he doesn't want to die.

Like back then being married was important. He didn't want to die single. She's like obviously an outdated thing. Get it from his perspective in the war, but the person who's not in the war, what's in it for them? Yeah, probably burning. You're probably right.

He'll probably right. I think it's burning and what's not romantic about burning, Jess. At least the way I do No, that's what you're gonna say one of the same not the way I do it I'm magic about why I That's what I was gonna say and I did it better Where she did

Fuck should have left it for a little bit longer. I could see I could see you want But I wanted to say it and then you're the course to say because I sometimes say very inappropriate things on this podcast That I later regret. Oh really? Okay Ah the yeah, so the commandos training was long and arduous it took many months and it wasn't complete till late in 1941 Um, and it was sort of signal by the successful. Shooting of a Nazi with an arrow. Well, it was a signal. You've all graduated.

Yeah. Far away. You all get one Nazi. I've lost so many of them. Yeah, it's just, I mean, it used to be a lot. And now it's just like one per podcast. Oh God. Matt, for the hundredth time,

Thank you. You're welcome Dave. Oh, allegedly. Thank you. The training, so yeah, was, the training was complete late 1941 with a successful assault on the German garison at VUG So in Norway probably not how you pronounce it Churchill was in charge of two companies in the attack with the goal of taking down the German forces on

Maloy island Including that that cannons there they want to take them out as well and in what sounds like classic jack style He stood at the front of his landing craft. You know, those boat things that come in, you say in the movies, are those weird sort of school hair looking. M-phibious sort of people. So he's standing on the front of picture this.

Our man Jack is standing on the front. His craft is out in front. So he's on the front craft, and he's standing right out the front of it. Of it, as a move to shore. And he was smashing out a few tunes on the bagpipes. You're fucking kidding. What have they've got cannons inside a castle in an island. And there is a... There is something like... I just think that was probably the you know the back then that was pump up tunes That are yeah, that's rousing music. What would I be playing now? I'd be imagine it be hip hop right?

It'd be somewhere big bassy bass. Yeah, you're the best I could be 80s music as well. Yeah, but I thought so you if you were talking about today music I would have thought it'd be more like big just big I don't know sinking wall sing Matilda. Oh, okay probably that song. That's rousing. Yeah, I guess sorry. Oh rousing I think Jump back in his talker, but you can shove your jump back at my tuck-a-back. Thank you very much. Things just got... I wish I could only get a tuck-a-back. Oh, I don't think about it too much.

You're taking away all the Romanticism. I'm gonna wait for your billy to boil. Can't think of any of the lyrics. Errr... I look like you're billing my bong. I've jumped my troopers one, two, three. I've got three dicks. Oh, but oh, oh, banjo patty your son. Oh, oh no. What's happening?

Back to the pipe. That is honestly one of the most bad-ass things I've ever heard. Yeah, he's just, there's something like, and I think his fearlessness is what makes the troops around him. His troops especially, you know, just walk taller and be more fearless themselves, or rubs off on him. Dave, is he going to die in a really bad way? Oh, so what's this 941? He's going to die soon and in a bad way.

I've only got four years, he's got four more years, a bad way only up for you. He's got a lot of four more years I don't think it's worse than I reckon like he's gonna be playing the backpipes and everyone's like Oh, we're fine. Look how confident he is and he just gets like shot square in the chest And they're like, oh, that's right. We're in a war. Yeah backpipes aren't bulletproof He refuses to wear a fucking helmet or pants Is he wearing a kill? He's wearing a solo though. Is he wearing a kill? He knows we're a kill at times. Oh, very good. Very good indeed.

Nothing underneath though, as is the traditional way. Oh. Is that true? Do they not wear? I believe. You don't wear the end of the island. We've got Scottish listeners. Let us know if you wear stuff.

I know you probably don't wear them just in your day to day life, but I mean, is the traditional way of wearing a kill? No. Because there's always that thing of that that lift their kiln flush the enemy to sort of scare them and also just be know is that a real thing? Yeah, just look fearless and crazy, which I believe a lot of them work a Mel Gibson movie kind of thing. Oh, that's what he's thinking. Did you say Mel Gibson's arse in that film? I don't think so. I don't I've never seen it. I have it. Mel Gibson's arse. Oh, we've all seen Mel Gibson's arse. Me too. We're Australian, I've never seen it. I have it. Melgibs and Zars. Pretty good for me.

Oh, we've all seen Melgibs and Zars. Me too. We're Australian. We've all seen these Zars. It's the right of passage here in Australia. That's a bloody burst right. It's our right. I got our son, your 18.

He's your first beat. He's Melgibs and Zars. Carry on. Good luck to you. You're a man now. Don't forget to vote. It's on the voting ballot paper. Yeah. It's one of the options. Yeah.

From one to five, rank these people in order of your preference. Well, Malgibsons asked. One. Obviously, every time. So Churchill will let out his men, you know, playing the backpacks. I love that he's just got the backpacks on him as well. Of course he does. Karen, I'm around. If you can carry a bow and arrow with you, you can carry some backpipes. So he, so once they get into the shallow enough waters, he jumps in, wades into the water, sort up.

Of course. Which is the most pointless. What year does he think this is? I have a point in having a sword. They're up a hill with cannons. Shouting war cries. Of course he is. And they took down the Maloy, I'm not saying it right,

they took down his iron quickly. Really? He, he signaled back a message saying, Moe, battery and iron captured. Casualties, slight. Demolitions in progress, Churchill. This is cool, car. Oh, Churchill.

Maybe it's just all about the confidence. Yeah, there's gonna be something in there. I think we can learn from that. It's all about confidence. He knows this. I think, did he? I'm sorry if you've got this in your report later and I'm getting ahead of it.

But did he coin the phrase fake it till you make it? Did he? Was that him? I think that's where I did to him. I was good for the fun facts. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh no, I dropped the hair. What exactly?

It's changed a little over time. Sure. What exactly is he faking immortality? Yes. Faking being immortal until you are immortal. Yes. So that was the original phrase, and I was not as catchy. Yeah, it doesn't have the same bring to it.

But, you know. Similar, the same thing. Languages. It evolves. It evolves. You know? So he got through the battle on Skade. What the fuck? Not a bloody scratch. But soon after he was there was an accidental explosion. He was sitting drinking a celebratory wine. Yeah what

kind of wine? Obviously a red, I reckon. Definitely a red. I didn't know that Martin was a wandering man. Yeah, what kind of wine do you reckon? Well, obviously a red, I reckon. Definitely a red. I don't think there's no ice around. Yeah. And so one of his own sides, explosive experts, accidentally set off a small explosion, which sent a shard of the wine bottle into his face. Oh no.

No, no. You just shot in the face. Yeah. Oh, but, and what happened, man? He later joked about the wound saying, I had to touch it up from time to time with Rosamond lipstick to keep the wounded hero story going. I love him. That's so great. So now he's just got like this crazy scar on his face, which makes him even more of a badass. It's a Scarface.

He is Scarface. Say a little, my little friend. What a guy. And then he pulls out the bell and arrow. Immediately in 1943, the commandos Scarface, Scarface and the commandos were caught in a furious battle with the Germans. These Germans, there's a thing I get over the wall, right? They're one, they're just such an epic army. They're taken on like quite a lot of powers at once, right?

Yeah. But they would just, they would, they'd really come up and they would... What kind of power is mind-reading? Mind-reading telepathy. Telepathy. And we're going, we're going ones that are quite close together, really. But different. Yeah. Teleportation. Um, what else could they do? We go we're going ones that are quite close together really but different. Yeah Teleportation

What else could they do Go invisible Invisibility some would say I'm sure they can fly I can obviously fly. Oh, sorry I thought that was a given because they shoot webs and tall and climb hot. Yeah, I can choose Crepans I can choose webs They also have They read radioactive the radioactive sperm. Radioactive sperm? They have the ability. When they're cutting a loaf of bread, they can get every slice the same width.

That's pretty much every time. I mean, if you're going to have a soup powder, that'd be the one you want, right? Also, perfect palm-point, whenever they filled up with petrol. Puff pumps. Just always even dollar amounts. I love that. So, you're doing well with these powers. Not that I'm sympathizing with them, but I mean, credit words, do you? Wait, who, yeah, we're talking about the German.

I forgot who we're talking about. The Germans, okay. I keep going on the Germans, but Nazis would also work. Germans make some sense. What, what tone did I prefer, Dave? I don't know. We, I've never been in touch. Oh, that's not how I got breaks your heart. They have never been back to my letters.

Do Nazis, do listen to the others. I think you're all right. Please write back. Love Dave, age 11. You're biggest fan. He's not a daily. Not true. Were you nine? Nine. Didn't mean it, didn't mean it, but it was there. It was there, you had to take it. Yeah, you got it. Nine jokes. I mean, every time there's Germans involved, there's going to be a nine joke on two. There has to be. So, so in 1943, Commandos caught in a furious battle with the Germans and under the cover of darkness,

one night Churchill organized his men. Like it was a pretty, this was a pretty full-on battle, supposedly Churchill thought of a different strategy, organized his men into six parallel columns, six lines, and he sent them chart. So apparently the underfoot it was quite, like then it was, and he sent them chart. So apparently the underfoot, it was quite, like, it wasn't like flat underground. Underfoot. So the grounds say, you know, in AKA, the ground, was quite noisy to walk through. So he's like, we can't, we're not going to be able to just like sneak up on him. So let's go the other way. Put him in a six columns, send him charging ahead, yelling

commando. Commando, commando, commando. So if they might hear your steps, let's just yell. Yeah, you may as well. When you say, that's basically an act bigger than you are. Like a bear, yeah. When you say column so it makes me think of them yeah no big head yeah there's like three of them but yeah they're like one commander or three of them are like they've got a hat on the top and I really long jacket yeah are these giants going away giants. Go away. Like Toddlers B adults. And that worked. The really tall German toddler adults confused the journey because they made it sound like

they were everywhere. By yelling command. Wow. Because they're coming. They'll come from all directions and the attack was a huge success. They got, they netted they Took 136 prisoners in that attack holy shit at the same time Churchill had gone deeper behind enemy lines Right he just kept going who's kept running? He was now posing as a Nazi. He just took one

Mamed ruffle ruffle ruffle ruffle ruffle r, Ruffle? Ruffle. I mean, Ruffle. Ruffle. Is Ruffle a man or a dog? A dog? Ruffle. Ruffle. Yeah, boy. Yeah, boy.

Shhh. When I give you the signal, start yelling, commando. And shoot an arrow at that Nazi. Good boy. So he went all the way into town. There. He just went to the pub. And that's where the term went to town, came from.

He really went to town on those Nazis. And apparently, even Churchill later described what happened next as being a bit aerial flinish. Okay, all right. Even him. Even he said that. Who said that, sorry? Mad dog himself. Mad dog himself dog himself described himself as a real Flynn

Error Flynn. No, he said the scenario was a bit error. Oh cool. So Error Flynn was famous for his swashbuckling film. Yes So what happened was he he could see It was totally pitch black dark But he could see a cigarette light in the distance. So you could tell those person there, him and... Oh God, I hope he says the line. Smoking kills. BOOM! Yes!

Wait, but it's some change the noise to an bow and arrow. Yeah, switch with the sword. Yeah. So that's what happens, he goes up and he takes these, he yells, Commander! He yells someone at them in German and he takes these, he yells. Commander. He yells someone at them in German and they are like, they surrendered with him just and his sword.

What did they, how many? Two. So just two. Why were they surrender? Well, he... He had a sword, confidence, he faked it till he made it. Yeah, and there's a quote in a second, but I'll just go through the rest of the story.

So he captured these two Germans, I'll say the story very briefly. They then went around to all the other posts and just two by two or whoever many were there. He approached the next post and got the Germans and said, hey everything's cool, man, that's all right. Hey, what are you guys up to? And then they got more and more. And I was just going around this town collecting German prisoners. It's 32 of them walking around going, yeah, everything's cool in New Year's. And not 32, 42. What?

What? Two people captured 42. Yes, like way behind enemy, like in the town that was obviously had at least 42 German soldiers there Um, so he took them and all their weapons. He got he made them keep hold their guns He took all the ammunition out of the weapons and another one of the prisoners carried the bag of ammunition And he just marched them back to the where the rest of the British troops were. Which I was like, what? How would what?

Surely just a few of them would have to go, hey, look, this isn't good for us. Yeah, you're hey. We can outnumber him. He's got one, maybe one of us, I guess that's someone's going to get chopped, but come on. But worth it. But then, so there was a quote from Churchill that explains what why he thought it was possibly said I maintain that as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do if you are senior to him He will cry

Jay while which I think means I looked up means yes and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation That's why they make such marvelous soldiers So they're like robots saying yes to senior and efficiently, whatever the situation. That's why they make such marvelous soldiers. What? So they're like robots saying yes to senior. It's like he thinks of them like their dogs or something, just you gotta. You just gotta be. You've gotta be, you're the boss.

Nice, clear commands. If you're dominant, they'll respond. Don't make any sudden movements. They kick back at the rear. Yeah, always approach them from the front. So, in 1944, he's so close. Yes, he is. In 1944, he was sent to Yugoslavia,

and he was leading a charge, so obviously we were skipped ahead again. He was leading a charge through oncoming fire and mortar shells shells pretty full on scenario here and this is this is where his luck finally runs out He was one of only seven men to reach the target so just seven them there and they're just like They really needed to get some new clothes and some homewears. Our target is a shop here in Australia. And elsewhere. Yeah, I think I might be an American. It's a different chain.

Also called target. It's a target symbol. It's very weird. Same sort of shop though, right? So probably translate's Dave. Well, no. Well, this is in Monaco, might not know what target is. Oh, Monaco, this is good.

We do have one in this one in Monaco, to it is alone. Oh, okay. Well, that's like one tenth of the population. That is so eagno-ren of you. Look at the facts people. That's not a fact. I'm sorry they interrupted you, but I kind of had to for the target joke. Yeah, no, it's fine.

I'm just worried that our moniker listener isn't telling his friends. Yeah. That's always saying. That's always saying. So yeah, he was only one of seven men to reach the target department store. And after running out of bullets, he found himself to be the last man standing. There'd been a few mortar shells that had taken out. Wow. His teammates.

Not fully killed. They were sort of, but they were, they were fully killed. They were pretty, they were on their way to being dead. Oh, no. Once he realized he was defenseless, he pulled out his bagpops. He did not. And he played some music. He did not until the advancing Germans, advancing Germans, truck to grenade, and exploded him. Oh God, oh, sorry.

But something may have hit him in the face. He, oh wait, I'm gonna just do the check. No, I didn't explain, I'm making that sound worse. He got knocked out. He's still not dead. Still not dead. Fuck you, right? German account at the time described it as

the doleful sound of an unnoten musical instrument. Adorable. So he's it but like this guys, he's like, well, I'm defenseless now. They're coming for me. Play some. I have the bagpipes somewhere. Play some BP. Where is it from?

It's like small instruments. Why is he carrying them with him? Does he have travel-sized bagp came with him does he have travel size bag many said they got his got a bullet in the justice and later

which makes sense i guess uh... he's still not that he came to define the germans poking him to see if he was still alive are he still i've now maybe reckon he's still alive now. Maybe. I reckon he is. So Mad Jacks Luck had seemingly run out, but because he was captured by the Nazis and the order was to kill, for him to be killed.

But for some reason he was spared. I've read a couple of things. One of them was saying that, you know, this a certain German office was like, there's some sort of mutual respect for another hiring. He officer, I'm not gonna do that. I don't, he's like, I don't think this is right. Sort of thing. Wow. Um, and there's another theory, uh, there was that he might have been mistaken as a relative of Winston Churchill. Um, and possibly because of that, he was flown to Berlin to be interrogated. Oh wow that's not good. So his life was spare but we're gonna get this information out of you.

Yeah. I can tell you that they're not just gonna ask nicely either. Well what would you do there? Would you cooperate to spare your own life and just be like yeah I mean it's cousin and then just make up the answer to their questions. Yeah because that would be better for your side. Anyway, if you get them false information. Yeah. And then they probably spare you if you get all that. They probably wouldn't, they probably get what they needed out of you and then kill you.

You think that sound like a badass, right? That's what I was thinking. I'm like, this story makes the Nazis sound like they're just like, how is, how do they keep letting him, why haven't they killed him yet? Anyway, seems like they've had a couple of opportunities, so he was fine to Berlin to be interrogated. That's the story that when he arrived in Berlin,

when he got off the plane, he left a little match or a candle amongst some newspapers. No. And then what? And then when they got, so they get out of the plane and sort of turn around and the plane explodes

and... He's a true? Apparently. So while he's walking away from the plane in slow motion, it explodes behind him. Yeah, that's our picture. He's wearing sunglasses. Yeah, oh he wasn't. But he knows that there's about to be an explosion, so he puts them on to protect his eyes.

But somehow everybody else falls over and the explosion, but he keeps walking. And then music plays. Backpups. Oh, he's got to have like a sweet cat raise. Nazi, more like Yachtsy. Explosion! Credits roll. Yeah, I think that was it. That's why you're an associate producer. Hey, it's pretty good.

Oh, I just just sent back a, put a neck back your way there. It's not nice is it? It's too the head of that back. How does it feel? It's not nice. You can dish them out, Dave, but can you take them? You certainly can't take them.

I know I can't. Yeah. So fragile. You're the most precious. Yeah, I'm the most precious. You're our precious little boy, aren't you? So yeah, and I'm like, all right, well, that's the last story. Hey, hey, you blew up. This goes it blown up. Fuck you. I'm gonna shoot you in the head right now. Yeah, that's what right.

But apparently he was like, oh, yeah, one of the pilots was smoking and reading the newspaper. I'll tell him that that was the rest of the disaster. He told me to shut up. It's like it's all very sparse the story how this story is but that's what a few different Articles said that he just said that and and then they sort of skipped to anyway and on you know next thing So wait no wait what that's amazing what Nazi is taking that as an excuse. Oh, we Hines! Oh, whatever. Oh, hi. Hi.

Come over here. Stop making delicious soup and come over here. Come over here. Mad Dog is just said. Ah, ah! So you were smoking on the plane. And now, as you can see, it's smoldering to the ground. Is that true?

I imagine the pilot was on the plane that got exploded that way. Oh, that might have been, yeah, that make a right. Probably plane interrogated. Yeah, he dead man. He blamed a dead man. Hines. Hines. Oh, no. Hines. Hines. Oh, no, no. We're sympathizing for the Nazis. I just slippery slope isn't a day Oh, it is a dirty game. You're quite a... I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. Never touch the slope Never touch the slope. Not even a toe. Don't touch the slope. Don't touch the slope.

Don't drop the slope. Once in Berlin, he was able to prove that he had no valuable information to give. I don't know. I don't know. I see. I only know that happens is that they tortured the shit out of you and go, wow. All right, he clearly knows nothing because he would have said something about now. That's what I'm saying.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I know the only way that happens is that they torture the shit out of you and go wow. Alright, he clearly knows nothing because he would have said something about now. That's like it feels like well if you don't know anything now we'll kill you. Yeah, alright, so he's useless and he just blew up the fucking plane and he's been bowing hour in Sarge and Sleff run center. Just all day. And surely he's got a reputation because there's only one guy that has a bow and arrow

and plays this bagpipe instrument that they've never seen. Which I imagine he's still carrying around with him. I think he actually lost the bagpipes in that last obviously when he got knocked out I don't think they let him take him with him. So he's crushing him. Instead of yeah they transferred him to the thus Gatchewon that's not right-Sanhausen concentration camp, where he quickly, or quite quickly, escaped relatively quickly. Of course. I'm going to say that that's one of the big concentration camps. Yeah, that's one of the big ones. And he escaped.

He escaped it by getting under a wire fence and through a drain. What is your rabbit? A rabbit that lives in the drain. Where is your rabbit? A rabbit that lives in the drain. I'd just mean they can get under fences. God, Dave. It's like you never had a pet rabbit as a child. They can get under fences. He's got an abyss where his imagination should be. He can't. He just can't. What's that like? Lately, yeah. Any of his head had he's like, no, he's a human. It's not a... It's not like a rabbit at all.

A rabbit, what are you talking about? That is good face. Thank you. He's giving good face right now. So once free, his plan was to walk through Nazi territory to the Baltic Sea. Approximately 200 kilometers away. And then what was he gonna do when he got to the Baltic Sea? Give us a swim swim I guess.

Oh he's going to swim back to England. He actually made it a long way. Supposing it was only a few miles from the coast, before he was found and captured. And transferred to another camp. So again, finding himself in captivity church, you'll stay vigilant. Like a rabbit.

Waiting for an opportunity to escape once more. Like a rabbit would. In the autumn time, an opportunity presented itself during a power outage. And he took your shot, and he escaped from the Nazis once more. Why? To in this story, it just sounds like they're the, um, the short sky gun, you know, the sort of really uncompetent, infoguncyro- Uncompetent, uncompetent.

Hogan's Hero Star. Also a Simpsons thing. Can I click remember that? That's right, he was on the show. Homa! Yeah, so this time he had a new plan, it was to walk about 160 kilometers to safety. Oh, just a cheeky 160. Well, you know, that was how far it was to was to walk about 160 kilometers to safety. Oh, I just would cheek you 160. Well, you know, that was how far it was to get to a border

or some of that, or one of the big towns that might have been a little more ally friendly. He escaped with an old rusty tin. And... What, in what's the, he used that? Oh, he got that as a friend. He escaped with it. It's just my friend.

But apparently he had it with him for quite a while, like thinking ahead to the escape, he's like, I'm gonna need this. So he had it with him ready to go. And some people said also some onions. Sure. But which sounds weird, but it made sense because he used that to cook food.

Ah, I'm surprised. So he'd go past crops and he'd take vegetables out, cook them up in the tin can. The rest of the can. That is brilliant. I think maybe this is what he was saying. He thought of it as he was liberating Nazi vegetables. There's still a lot of them from the crops.

Which is pretty funny. That's so good. Be free into my belly. End of my tummy. He made it eight days in his journey and in those first eight days he'd rolled his ankle and he was battling a bit before he was found again. This time by allied American forces. So he was back baby. So the European part of the war was coming to an end but the fight was still going on in the Pacific and that's where Jack was heading He wanted to go where the action was I want to be where the people are so it was on it was on route to Asia

In the Pacific Asia Asia How do you say it? The Asian Continent. Asia. Asia. We don't have to close your teeth so far, but then that word. Asia. I mean, I can hear it in my headphones. I'm really having a list of the things you do that.

Asia. No, that's not it. Asia. Here we go. Asia. Yeah. Asia. There's a. Asia. Yeah. Asia. There's a bit of a tip. Now, it's become one of those words that sounds weird. Wait, you say any word 15 times in a row? Yeah. You start thinking about too much.

Matt. So, he was on route. Matt. Matt. Matt. Matt. Your name is Matt. It's blood of music in my ears. So, he was on his way to Aisha and nailed it, nailed it. Perfect. But before he got there, some people say just as he arrived, I mean it's a big place Aisha. Obviously I don't have a specific place where he was heading. But just about to arrive

was when the Americans dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Basically ending World War 2 for all intents and purposes. Which is probably, it's a good thing to end a World War, but Jack's probably like, he is quoted as saying, possibly tongue in cheek, but he's quoted as saying, if it hadn't been for those damned yanks, we could have had kept the war going for another 10 years. Oh, yeah, damn it, yanks. I mean, I'm kind of with him on them, not nuclear bombing. Totally.

But wanting the war to go on for 10 years is a bit odd. I think it's funny how the different articles, like that's another quote that came across in a lot of articles, and some people are like, going, what is wrong with this guy? And other ones are like clearly tongue in cheek. Or a little bit tongue in cheek. I think it's a little bit tongue in cheek.

I feel it, that wasn't the end of combat for him. That was the end of the war. So he survived the whole second world. Well, the whole second world. That is just insane. He was pretty annoyed that he missed a lot of action because he was a prisoner. He missed quite a bit of time in camps and walking.

You think you'd be glad to be alive and not a prisoner. He's like, oh, I missed a lot. Yeah, I can't like anyone else to be like and not a prisoner. He's like, oh, I miss the life. Yeah, I can't like anyone else to be like sending you home. Thanks. He's one, like a bunch of medals. Did he get a Victoria cross? I don't think he got a Victoria cross. No, he got usually, you have to die to get that.

But, right, well, he did not do that. That wasn't the end of combat for Mayor Jack though Now in his forties he trained as a parachutist. Oh my god and ended up in Palestine as Seconding command of the first battalion of the Highland Light Inventory. I've changed my mind infantry Inventory, I've changed my mind now. I said he's gonna die really badly I now I think he's either still alive or died peacefully in his sleep at like 90 years old. Like a nursing home.

Who was born in 1996, remember? Yeah. 110, that is not impossible. It's not impossible very unlikely. That's what I said, that's what I said. He's either still alive or he died peacefully in his sleep when he was 90. I was just trying to build up the ex- He's still alive and he's got him out.

So hard, he's easy. Oh, so hard he's here, he's here! Oh, I don't know. So you recognize this voice. Ah, bow and arrow! Yeah, bow and arrow just... Tomato! Tomato! Open the sea bow and arrow fly through Matt's chest and he kicks down the door.

Oh, here he is! He's a really old man. He's slaughtered us all for some reason. Well, because you're a Nazi, that's why. He knows. He is. He is a really old man. He's the oldest of all for some reason. Well, because you're a Nazi. That's why. He knows. He knows. I'm sorry, mate.

So yeah, he went, he's passionate. He's passionate. He's passionate. He was there for a little while. He's excited. He was said to have saved the lives of 700 Jews in Jerusalem, get safely evacuating them. Wow. Which is pretty, it's possibly something I didn't look

in that stuff so much, so I'm not gonna, yeah. It's like how did you do that? He went up one by one with the sword and said, you wanna be evacuated? I'll see, yeah, yeah. They were all just going about their business. He just had 700 hostages. He went on after Palestine, he went on to serve as an instructor at the Warfare School in Australia.

What? And whilst in Australia he got keen on surfing. Fuck! Famicom! I'm quite a good surfer. Oh god. When he went back to England he designed his own surfboards. Now we didn't.

And he became the first person to ride the Seven Rivers, the Seven Rivers, five foot tidal ball. No, no. So what's that? It's like a water thing that like a certain pressure hits and it like pumps up and then it like it's something you can surf and people. And he was the first one to do it.

He was the first one to do it. Oh, what a guy. He is insane. And you know what? Less Aussie surf than you'd think. But I was like, he's really, but I think. Then you personally would think.

Really? And I think he was like, you're a Australian do surf. I was like, no, and they went, no Aussies I've met surf, we don't actually surf that much. I mean, and yeah, in Melbourne, we were in a bay.

I'll surf these, yeah, there's no. And it's also cold, it's cold. It's plenty of Melbourne, it's you surf, but my brother's a surfer, but, and I got like, cousins you surf and stuff. But I would say the minority of my family. I think if you go north. stuff, but I would say the minority of my family. I think if you go north Yeah, certain times. Anyway, I digress

He remained married to Rosemund until his death 90s are in the 90s he got sure he's 80 1983 1991 1996 1983 1991 1990 six. Holy shit. He made it to 90 he made it to 90 just said 90 How did he die? This is sick that I'm so excited. He was 90 So he died peacefully at 90 he died of being 90. Oh my god. I was right. I said that when you get to 90 you don't people don't go how did you die? It's just it was 90 I said that oh That is I think you kill I think you killed him I

Was six of course I killed him oh there's no way to blood it cute. He couldn't handle it I don't know six year old couldn't be a little big tail. She's so cute. Oh no there's no way to- I've been too blooded cute, he couldn't handle it. It's a sick guy now. Six year old couldn't handle it. Look at a little pig tail, she's so cute! Oh no. Oh no. He didn't crop makers birthday, everybody died. Oh! Just so close.

You killed him one year. Born in September, starting March. Oh, few months. You laughed way too hard about an 89 year old mayor, hero, dying, you sick fuck. He's the most insane man. He would have laughed at that because he is crazy. What's that saying about you, Dave?

I'm so happy that you remained married to his. Well, I was wondering what happened to me. Yeah, so happy he died. No, no, no, no, no. So happy was married to his wife. You're so happy he died, you monster. Did I have kids? I had to raise them resident who had two kids.

Oh my God. They still love. Ah, yeah sure. Are they the most in Australia? No, I've been mad at that. That'd be so cool. It'd be so cool if we were secretly his grandchildren. Oh my God.

But there's no way I could be his grandchildren. How do you think you'd like a guy like that? How would he be spending his retirement years? So he'd be that guy at the RSL just telling stories and everyone's like yeah, right? O jack there must have been like bullshit the thing that was talked about a bit was that he Spent his lady is with his wife sailing cold-fired ships on the Thames What what other teams the themes? What? What? Other times, the themes.

Possibly why it was in my head. And also making model ships which became quite collectible apparently trying to convince me. Love to get a mad Jack. And they were really accurate like Navy ship models. He wasn't even in the Navy.

All of a sudden he loves boats. Oh my god, I love him. Do you still play the bag. I reckon that he was yeah I reckon he was probably gardening ahead with a sword. Yeah, definitely. He was the local crazy man. Oh yeah Yeah, so that's the report. There was one last thing which is maybe relevant or not There was an article I read about One of the things that came up about him was just a couple of years ago the Royal Norwegian Explorers Club published a book that featured, naming him as one of the finest explorers and adventurers of all time.

Wow. What a life. What a life. How did he live? Without me. Yeah, you did. Ozzon that he does before old age. Like how did it, like, he, at one point,

he got shot with a machine gun. I think it cooked his ear. Like how did it like, at one point he got shot with a machine gun, I think it clipped his ear. Like you just, like a centimetre away from death. Yeah. Millimetre. But he would have been centimetre away from death at all times.

At all times. Amazing. What a story. What a character. I've never heard, I'm surprised I haven't heard that. And he's hardly like, you know how, he's not hiding away, he's standing at the front, one out with a sword

and he's basically going, go on. Sure, if you're the sniper, that's the first one you go for, right? Yeah. But all this stuff is what makes me feel uncomfortable about like elevating this wall, this guy, like makes him feel a bit made up. Like the myth has been inflated.

He's like the Hunger Games where they put that bow and arrow lady out and they call her the mocking bird or whatever. Katniss and the mocking J. Mocking J and she's like on all the videos being inspiring. Maybe he was just like a like a... He was a mocking J. Maybe. He's propaganda. I feel like... doesn't do anything that feels a a bit like that like it could be I mean the winners right the stories right so I think he's dangerous I Like to believe it because it's good story. Sorry. No. I just I just want to know if it's been inflated

Yeah, definitely but point to a life that hasn't been. That's true. Wow. I sounded way deeper than it actually is. But thank you. Wow. Thank you. That was really good. It's really good. Thank you. What a lovely way to finish. God, you're lovely. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. That's actually quite philosophical as well. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. That's actually quite philosophical as well. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. That's actually quite philosophical as well. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the abyss gives back. Sometimes the quite philosophical as well. Sometimes the English is... I only knew there was a way we could record this wisdom. But this is no way we could do it. I'm afraid.

We'd run out of tape, we'll have to delete the last five minutes. Oh no. Oh Matt, that was actually a great story. And we would like to thank Steve. Shade S909. At Shade's 909 on Twitter. Thanks Steve Shade. Shade's to me.

What a bloody... Yeah, that's a great suggestion. Yeah, awesome He's not a guy's a message in much Steve. I don't think Same little feedback hopefully he's he's around, but yeah Well, we always suggest great. We always ask for suggestions But how about if you know any other great lives of crazy stories of people that aren't like super duper famous that most of people just haven't don't know if you mentioned them by name, but if you look into them it's like, wow, give us those names because we'd love to talk about them.

Yeah, but any topic anything you like, you can put it into the hat via email, like, well, not like Steve did, but you can do go on podatgmail.com or via Twitter, like, like, Shades, zero and zero to it at do go on pod we're on the Instagram now at on the Instagram on Instagram now oh god grandpa at do go on pod a Facebook do go on pod it's all do go on pod I know I'm just very repetitive aren't I yes but we would love to hear from you and next week is a very special episode for us as a way are hitting our first birthday Guys guys we look great for one it is One year of releasing a podcast every week because we started with three. That's why it's gonna be episode 55

But it's gonna be a year since we are first release I think so we may have something special in the works Look we each download will come with a free slice of cake. Ooh. I don't know how we're gonna deliver that. Well, we got a week to think about it, so it sounds like a good deal. So I'm making cake. JP, Bob will be back in the hot seat, giving her a box seat.

In the box seat. Oh, I love it. It's just the seat I sit in every week. It's called, it's the Bob seat. Bob seat. She'll label it. And's just a seat I sit in every week. It's called this is a Bob's seat. Should label it and not let anyone else sit there. Oh I do. The Bob's seat. Yeah. But until we do that I will say goodbye. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

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