Do Go On - 60 - The Great Emu War

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

This is one of the stranger chapters in Australia's military history. Matt talks about the time the army took on the second tallest bird in the world, the emu. 20,000 of them. It was quite a fight... but who wins? Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Hello and welcome to DoGoOn. My name is Dave Warnicky and I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart for another conversation for the ages. Oh, telling you one for the ages. Are you ready to play that song?

No, we'll explain. That's a Paul Kelly song. I don't know if it's a Paul Kelly that song? No, we explained. That's a Paul Kelly song. I don't know if it's a Paul Kelly song or... No, it's a Paul Kelly song. We know it's Paul Kelly. Did I say conversation with the ages? Because I meant one of the worst. I mean, that's Matt contributes something,

saved this conversation. Sorry. Hey, Dave, it's good to be here, back in the podcasting studio, Justin, I just were at a music festival over the weekend, Meredith Music Festival. You pulled out of it later, I bought you a ticket, and you held me hanging on for quite a while,

a few months, even though you've got a quite a well-paying job, and I'm just a lowly shit-kicking businessman, well, and a deal, and sure. Sure. But in the end, I mean, I'm a philanthropist. I give more than I take. And I think the proof was in the pudding there with me offering to give you a ticket. I mean, for cost price. Obviously. And you taking months of I mean, in our ring, basically saying, please hold it for me or whatever you said, maybe it wasn't those exact words. And in the end,

yeah, you're like, no, a cold play actually, or whatever. Yeah, and it was my first Meredith, and you two had both been like, you've got to come and we'll go all together. And we're gonna do a live podcast there, which we did, we replaced Dave with two, inferior, inferior. So two people still couldn't film us one last time.

Oh no, that tiny tush, it just, but it takes up some space and hearts. It's like the TARDIS. They were very talented people, but you decided that Chris Martin and his band, the Cold Play, were even more worthy of your time. And may I ask, was it excellent, because I have seen Cold Play before they were amazing? It was a great concert, yes it was. And also, I will say, it's not cold play that means more

it was my girlfriend's birthday that meant more and I took her along. Yeah, okay, that seems reasonable. Even as the cold-hearted single person on this podcast. You can respect that. I can respect that. But I do, I would like to publicly apologize for not being there. It's okay. And it was a great time I hear.

Yeah, we had a pretty good time. Yeah, it was a super good time. The podcast is an absolute mess. Oh, yeah, I was real drunk. Oh, see, I haven't heard it back yet, guys. So I'm not fully sure if we're even going to put it out. I don't know if it feels like it would almost be a waste of everyone's time. Is it genuinely unreleasable? It's just, I mean, we, we, an hour ago, we realized we had some, we, we could access some recording equipment. So we put out on, on some of the social media sites, anyone got any questions or whatever. And we started as went through them.

And I interrupted people and our guests, Kappa and Simon talked way more than we did. Kappa was talking about anal babies. Oh, yeah, I do vaguely remember that. You know the way it's fun about that. I mean, can you really release a thing that talks about that? Even this podcast I'm now thinking we might have to put in the bin just because I said the words. Yeah. And there was context, but I don't really remember the context. I think he was saying men were delivering babies out their butts. But anyway, I don't want to go back into that. I don't want to relive it. Wasn't it based on listening questions? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't that. I don't want to really live it. Wasn't it based on listening to questions? Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't about anal baby.

No. Definitely not. But Kappa was there. I noticed many, many tweets encouraging you to savage me when I wasn't there. So thank you very much, listen. There was a little bit of that. There was a little bit of that.

A bit of a tiny touch stabbing, rather than back stabbing. That's what I was going with. Gotcha. Right. Stabbing you in the touush, which is on your back. It weighs, isn't it? In a way. It's a roll, man.

A conversation for the ages. I'm not going to sing again. It is so hot in this podcast studio right now. You know what's ridiculous is that it's like 30 something degrees in Melbourne at the moment. Like we're really, we're hitting summer now. Celsius, this is high. Celsius.

Mid-90s in Fahrenheit. And I've just got a cold, like on top of that cough I've had for the last month. Oh, pardon me, let me just ask for a Bob Health Update, please. It's Pravea Bob. Hashtag Pravea Bob. Yeah, well I just gave it to you. That's saying just Health Update. I just gave it to you.

She's sick. I'm sick. I have a... It's a short tweet. What are we gonna... A cough and now a runny nose, too. I'm not happy about it. It's not good and I'm so nervous I have a... It's a short tweet. What a... I got a cough and now I runny nose too. I'm not happy about it. It's not good and I'm so nervous about getting it off you please don't give it to me.

I got a very busy time coming up. I know, I won't. I'm not gonna touch or breathe on either of you. Thank you very much. Like I normally do. My normal greeting is to just come up and hug your breathe on your... Oh, hi! I love it. It loves it, but I didn't do it this time, did I?

Live for it. Your breath is mine. Hi. In the end, that's true. But I breathe in sickness, not oxygen. Anyway, we've been talking for a very long time. And we have a report to do. Yeah.

So I'll probably do it. Well, we don't have a report to do, yes. I say smugly. It is the beard himself, Matt Stewart's turned to report. And this is very exciting, because this is the first listener voted topic. That's right. So Matt, do you want to explain how this works on Patreon if people contribute a certain amount? Yeah, which is nearly everyone, because I think it's one of the lower levels. I think it's everyone. It is everyone. Two dollars plus. Then they... Which is everyone, so no one's done the $1. Everyone's gone.

Oh, every episode I'll do a topic. I will pick three topics out of the hat, put them into a, on or a poll website, send out the link. The votes came in so quickly and I love this because I can see how long people take to choose. Oh, what are the stats on that? That's cool. Man, people did not take a lot of time. Oh really? That was... But nearly everyone eligible to vote did. I think we're at that stage or at 60 or so, um, voters, just as in the corner blowing

a note because she is a sicko. I'm gonna do it subtly. And she's trying to do it subtly. You heard her say that. sicko And she's trying to settle if you heard us that anyway, so something sixty odd people voted out of I think now There's 69 people vote because that is what I want to hear Then yes, you've actually kept our patreon funny question if we've kept our patreon at 69 patients So thank you, but we're done people took between seven seconds and a minute 20. A minute 20, that's like, I quite like, yeah, I like thinking. I hope if you're listening, you know,

if you took seven seconds. And you know if you're a minute 20 person too. Only the people who vote will know the two losing topics, because they go back into the hat, I don't want to necessarily get the point. Oh yeah, I think you should get rid of them, yeah, that's cool.

Because it doesn't, we were actually told to not look. So we haven't. Yeah, you guys don't know what the three possible topics were, but those 60-odd people do, and so do I, of course. Oh, wow. It was. Was it a landslide? It wasn't quite a landslide, but there was definitely a gap

between first, second, and second, third. There was, we're clear favorites here. And the winner, well, I'm not going to tell you, I'm going to ask a question about it. And as always, I ask the best question you I'm gonna ask a question about it and as always I ask the best question. I'm the question. Well crafted question. Hand crafted. It's the question which topic won the poll? No it's gonna be have you heard of in so topic title. No it's even better than that well I think well if that's your bar they know what is the past that I've never touched you with the big but as I flew over the high top bar. I haven't even touched it with the big butt as a

Flow over the high jump bar. I don't think your butts big. You got a sporting analogy. Bob that works Yeah, cuz you first be flopped over I was a year seven high jump champion So I was terrified of it. You're floppin' I was good at hydrop Everyone flops. You got a flop. You got a flop. It was an Aussie guy. He was frostbure. I do and yeah That's right. Yeah, that's right. And then people told him that he was silly. Yeah. And then they all did his technique because they went, I actually

hang on, he's winning. They used to superman it. They used to do all sorts of, they were so crazy. They're like, there was a Cesar star. That was good, they were so cute. There was the low flying duck. Did you hear? Could eat the arse out of the low flying duck.

I love that thing. It's a good thing. It means you're hungry Jess. I know, I get it. And I have an adinner. I wonder what it was from a mind. It's a bit like how you seen Bolt before he... It means you're hungry Jess.

Like you didn't know that. Okay. I am really, I'm almost seriously hungry. And it's so hot. If it's 32 outside, are we gonna 48 in this? Okay, that's probably hyperbole. No, no, no, no.

I'm not gonna have to be about right. You're gonna 48. It's not 48, yeah. I'll get you the monitors out then. I don't have one. I've got a lot on my butt. Is there like a... Lucky, lucky for you, right?

Lucky. So you're like a menu log for instruments? We need a thermometer stat. Oh, instrument. They bring it over. Not like musical instruments. Oh no, you should have that as well. They also do saxophone.

Can you get a thermometer and a ukulele? I feel like having a little d-d. A little d-d. I don't know if they do instruments, they do instruments tomorrow. Right. Don't bloody tell us your menu log of the instrument world. If you can't bring a uk.

Right. Right. Right. And measuring cups. Oh, yeah. Oh if you can't bring a yuk. Right. Right. Right. And measuring cups. Ah, yeah. Oh, you're what you tell me you don't even do measuring cups, which you can play as little drums. Oh, like spoons.

Play the spoons. Am I? Sorry. We could, why have we started yet? I don't know, sorry. I feel funny. Great, but not in a funny way. I feel pretty. Here's my question. Here's my question. know, sorry. I feel funny. Great, but not in a funny way. I feel pretty...

Here's my question. Here's my question, yes, which is a superbly handcrafted, like the efficiency of this is majestic. I think you might be talking it up because the question's not there. I'm trying to think of a question. It is still, yes. All right, here we go.

What is the most battle-ready of a question. Yes. All right, here we go. What is the most battle ready animal? Lions. No. That's not a bear. Camels. No. Elephant. Elephant.

No. It's pretty good. They're good in a battle. Battle humans. To a question. Kangaroos. They kind of aggressive. Oh, Armadillo.

Oh. That is. All right, nearly all of those are better. Oh. Oh, Madillo. right. Nelly all of those are better. Oh Oh, my dear. It's got the it's got the the cuteness. You're like, Hey, what's this little thing? And if you turn on it, it's got the armor, but they also have flame throw amounts Wombats because they look kind of cute and fluffy, but they can really run and that's why Jess is way warmer. Okay. It's one of ours. It's one of ours. One of ours. Okay, our animals. Oh, I'm going to be a phytopus, is it? Yeah, phytopus.

Phytopus. That's one of my favorites. I'm a big monotreme fan. Sure, who isn't? A kidna? Yeah, no, but yeah, a good monotreme. An emu. It is an emu. An emu. An emu. Well, no, it's an emu. Emu. I know, I just... I'm just being adorable. Are you trying to talk in a language that our It is an e-moo! An e-moo! An e-moo! Well, no, it's an e-moo. E-moo. I know, I just- I'm just being adorable. Are you trying to talk in a language that our high-ends can understand? Yeah, an e-moo. And who was-

Wait, who was the other- We say e-moo. Some of the American one of us to mention their statement. Oh yeah. Florida. Florida. Melbourne, Florida. No, there was another one as well.

It was like, they're not just in a high-end place. Crocodile country. Well, there's 48 others. We may as well start this in Arkansas Jacksonville Texas Texas New Mexico. We genuinely doing that. No, I don't want to do this The topics about Amy but specifically a historical event in Australian

historical A big historical event in the Australian historical society. A book of stuff. Look, in primary school we all have to read that book. I remember Australian historical, big book of stuff. I don't know, they use big twisters, I'm a resume name or whatever. Well, hey, it was quite large. It was a big event in the early 1930s. I'd never heard of it.

It was early 1930s. It was called the Great Emu War. Any knowledge of this? Who was battling back then? I bet you've heard of it. I've heard of it. Absolutely. Were the emus fighting the people? Were the emus fighting each other? Were the emus not fighting at all? Or is it nothing to do with these? There's one very brief question you can ask, which will help you find out all of this. Which is, Matt, can you please start the report?

Oh, I was going to do go on, but... Dave, what the fuck? It's like he's forgotten the name of our own podcast. He missed one short podcast at a festival. Well to be honest, do go on just isn't a question, that's why then consider that. It's a good point. Okay, hang on, is please, can you do go on just isn't a question. That's why then consider that Okay, hang on is Please can you do go on a question or do go because you started it like that

You just said this the last three words your question could have been do go on anyway. What are we doing here? Matt, Matt do go on Command how about command? One short command. Do you go on? Yeah, all right, there we go. Tell me what to do. I love being told. After the First World War, the Australian government struggled to find work for the families of Amuse.

Oh, and... Oh, this kiddie. But also left orphaned by the wall, but also written soldiers. There's many parallels between the returns of the NEMUs. I think we'll probably find that. Long legs, weird faces. Well, I was gonna say they all have two legs, but that's probably not true. Oh, no.

Well, the aim is, probably the aim is. Yeah, you know, I'm learning a one-legged aim you. Oh, you'd have to leave him to tree a lot. Hey, Barry, can you go get some food for me because I cannot leave the tree. Yeah, I know, Greg, you remind me every fucking day about the one-legged thing. I haven't forgotten. I got you some food. Stop bringing up all the type. Potentially before we go on, we should just case so anyone doesn't know what an amy Is so funny, but yeah, I think so because it's it's a it's a it's the second tallest

What do you say a shit ostrich? Yeah, it's the second it's the second biggest bird in the world after the of ostrich Very similar and a lot of ways. It looks like a really scummy ostrich. Yeah, they look pretty pretty They got these gross faces. There's something kind of cute about they've got some sometimes you can get good Looking he muses, but it's very rare. Do you ever read the book? I think it was Ed with the emu and then there was Ed Wiener as well the ballerina. Yeah, oh, I think it went on the ballerina I mean the illustrator did a lot of favors for the emu and they had big cute cartoon eyes They don't have those in the life. No they don't know they got like these gross stummin. B.E. eyes. They breathe with their mouth open. Yeah they make me greeting you. They look like ostriches who know fall on hard times. Lost a leg, lint against the tree. Got a lot of it,

they got into heroin. But they, yeah they could they crack, crack ostriches. They're one of... It's an idea, no. One of two animals on the Australian coat of arms. Correct. The other being, of course, the red kangaroo. The biggest of the kangaroo. Do you know why they're on the coat of arms? They're going to know. No, I don't know. You don't?

I don't know either. Which makes me feel like this isn't true. It is true. Is it because they can't walk backwards? Yeah, they can't take a step backwards. God, I'm so excited. So I've heard that, but then... That doesn't sound real.

Why? Because Dave doesn't know it, and he knows everything. That's true. I always lose confidence in a fan. If Dave hasn't heard of it. I have heard that, but you know I make it even harder to step backwards, that's as you chopped off one of their legs.

They can't. I was like, I can't step forward. No, it That's as you chopped off one of their legs. They can't. It's a top backwards. No, it's a second. Just forever stuck in time. Is that true? I know the false one is someone about sharks can't swim backwards or something. What's that thing?

They die if they swim backwards or something. They die if they stop. Wow, what are we? Anyway. Back to the wall. Yeah, back to the wall. Do you mention the wall? I will.

So you said it was just after the second world War, people are coming back with no jobs. So the end of the Second World War, Dave, not 1990. 1919, even? 1990. No, 1918. 1918, sorry. 1914, 1918. That's right.

Okay, so, and then, 10 or so years later, the Great Depression hit. So things are tough and Australia's hit quite hard because they rely on agricultural export a lot. You will 100% not believe this, but during the great depression, did have I told you that my great, great uncle was the Prime Minister of Australia at that time? You have mentioned this and it blew my mind

and I've forgotten and I've blown again. I don't remember that That's amazing. What's it James Scullin? He was prime minister during the Depression Like great great uncle. He that is not a good time to be a politician No, he was like he was like, yeah a prime minister and then Depression who's like damn it literally I think they're gonna blame me for the first few days of him being prime minister Hey, I don't want it's a worldwide thing. Yeah, yeah, no good. I don't want to, I don't want to- It's a world-wide thing. Yeah, but-

No good. I don't want to say, I don't want to put down this great great Uncle of yours, but there is definitely a correlation could be drawn between how many depressions we've had and how many- Members of my family have been Prime Minister. Also, how great the depression is and how great, great, just as Uncle is. That's right. For the you- I'm back, the great of uncle is. That's right. For the you know, back the great of the depression.

Yeah, yeah. Jess is great, great, great, great, great, uncle was prime minister during the great, great, great, great depression. Yeah, it's not good. I've only got a limited amount of data, but I'm pretty sure I can extrapolate those facts. Yeah, I think that's that right.

Anyway, I do go on. All right, that's probably fair. So the great that's about right. Anyway, I do go on. All right, that's probably fair. So, the Great Depression kicked in, you know, about 11 years after the end of the war. I think it was around 1929. So things are tough, and particularly in Western Australia, where climate stuff and that's sort of stuff, and they're looking for, there's so much space out there. So they're trying to use the space and they're also trying to give Something to do to their all these return servicemen who are looking stuff

So they they offered Or they promised to give cash incentives to these ex soldiers to go start wheat farms in And in the desert basically in the desert in the in the desert. In the country, WA. Wheat farms. Wheat farms. In their mind, Wheat farms are going to get us out of this trouble. It didn't turn out away. The economic troubles brought on by the Great Depression, hit Australia quite hard, and the price of wheat continued to fall despite the government going, yeah now, or I can, wait a minute. I reckon you bury the crops deep enough in the sand. Yeah, nah. It's going to start growing. Yeah, nah.

Even if it does grow, it's worth less than. Yeah, it feels so ripped off. I feel like, I feel like, on some level, you trust the government to understand understand these things and when they go and we're back in you with like cash So which they didn't come through within the end. Oh no, what's there returns? I said well, they're just stuck in the desert with Sand it's similar thing happened in race and time in Australia. There was the official word was Orange farmers get into Valencia oranges juice oranges that is the future right I love this little room a lot the prime minister's

that they're going you know what I hear Barry Valencia back Valencia naval is done orange juice huge gonna be it tastes quite good so apparently farmers ripped out a naval crops and put in the white wine, and it was a dud tip. Oh no. Unfortunately. And then said, That's the thing I vaguely remember.

May or may not be true. On the prime minister game, I was like, Barry, you're an idiot. I send it naval. I send naval. And orange juice has... It's poisonous. It's fucking poisonous, Barry.

The biggest cause of cancer. Whoops. I told you I had the big sea. You thought I said, man, vitamin. I meant cancer. I meant cancer. No, no, he did. He definitely did.

I've got it here in the minutes. You look at that. I'm the prime minister. You can trust me. You can see here in the minutes, it says the big sea bracket cancer. The cancer. Not the other sea. Not just sea.

I mean, this is all unspoken. I'm reading between the lines. Well, I'm writing between the lines, between the lines. I mean, Barry, see, is a very versatile letter. And also the one that brackets. It's a very versatile letter, Barry. See? You see what I'm saying.

We all see. Little joke there to finish. Now, we'll catch you next week for our next menu. Thank you. No, no, thank you very much. Thanks for stopping by. But I'm in a lot of trouble. Barry, I've, no, no, thank you very much. Thanks for stopping by. But on, but I'm in a lot of trouble. Barry, I've closed the door and I don't reopen these.

So what a scene. Wow. And sink and sink. Oh, I thought the sea. Much better. We are too dumb for your we're just a couple of seas. Clarence. Clarences, obviously being short for the word that we don't say on this podcast very often. Any more. Any more since I put in the rule. They've turned out to be a little, anyway. They're being star tracks so much.

So early. Little Clarence. You are a little Clary, aren't you? Well, they're little Clary, but we love you. All right, good on you. I need to blow my nose again. Yeah, go on. You go.

I'll just be behind you. Metal just, it's not important. I just want to be right at the microphone, you know. Sorry, everybody. Please go on. So the weak cropped. No, I don't. Please go on.

Do go on. You really are sick. In the head, you might fix yourself up, mate. You're a mess. So the weak crops were tricky enough to grow in the barren you might fix yourself up mate, you're a mess. So the wheat crops were tricky enough to grow in the barren conditions of the west, but things were made tougher by a huge horde of around 20,000 amus.

What? Where the bug, 20,000 will they come from? So there's a few different ideas about why these big groups of amus were attracted to the area. Some were saying because of the farmers and the fences they put up, it affected their normal travel route. You know, normally they go down the bloody Napan highway. Straight down.

Bungal lift. They bungalow lift. They bungalow lift. They grow a bit pie from Stertz Cafe. They chuck a uly. Straight back on the big open road. No, I'm sorry. Nomin.

And then, and supposedly maybe this led to their feeding habits being out, out of whack. And then, you know, they've all like got a bit confused, but they found a list. And they accidentally formed an army. They formed an army accidentally. Accidentally. Everyone got a rank. They all got a salary. There was a bit of a revolt. captain Jones won. He's a new leader

But I also I also read that the amus were just heading on their normal path Which would normally be to the coast From the center to the coast of once first, you know, that's sort of the point the seasons I'm making and then they went bam, we're off to the coast. They had to reach. We go to the beach for the Christmas holidays. We'll come back for term one.

But instead, what they hit were these new lands that had been knocked down, cleared crops of wheat were there, which they kind of enjoyed. And big dams with water in them, you know, for the livestock or whatever. I think I would have to go to the beaches of Swimmingpool right here. kind of enjoyed and big dams with water in them, you know, for the livestock or whatever as well. I think I would have to go to the beach as a swimming pool right here. Reggie Deage. So yeah, so that's possibly the reason, probably more likely that that was the reason. And as well as eating a lot of wheat, they also tend to be a bit of pain in the ass because

they force large holes in farmer's fences allowing other pests in as well. Oh no. Other pests like door knockers, body hawkers, walkers, Mormons. So many Mormons. So many Mormons. In the 90s, central Australia. Spreading good news. Spreading good news, that's right.

They accidentally formed an army. There was a Mormon army and they took on the emus. Yes, always. Well, just don army and they took on the emus. Just a waste. Well, just don't jump ahead. I know, sorry. But Matt tell the story, but we all know how it is. So the farmers were not having a great time, right?

Their crops were being taken apart by the emus. So they got together and they informed the Western Australian state government of the issues they were facing, which resulted in a meeting with George Pierce. I think later became a surge-orge Pierce, no big deal. Any relation to you, Jess? Not that I'm aware of, but I will claim him as you cannot prove he is not. And here's Gig of the Times, Federal Minister of Defence. The meeting led to Pierce giving the guy- A guest emuse. Well, not I mean at that stage it was really

against our humans but yeah the Mormons mostly he had to call his secretary hello does my army fight animals as well or am I just the human my jurisdiction is there a different guy for animals we need a call of it yeah do we can I shoot an emu I would also like it if the vet's secretary's name was a vet. You would like that would you? I'd like that a lot. I'd like it is. I'd like that.

Oh, that's a fact. Can I shoot an animal? A vet? Can I shoot an emu in the face preferably? Don't ask why My private man It's a private Nana. I want you to politics if you graded it First rule shoot something

But it'd be so good because it first really shoots something you'd have to wear a suit And he looked like a toddler at a wedding. You know where they wear suits and a way too big for them They could possibly make a suit They're not allowed to wear it or to wedding, you know, they wear suits and a way too big for them. They could possibly make a suit, that's not so good. Is that what you're suggesting, Jess? There's too much fabric in the world to make a suit in my size. Or just, yeah, the smallest pieces of fabric. You could, you know, you'd have to get some sort of microscopic thread.

Little tissues. What's really a little jacket out of tissues? It has wrapped me up in a box of clinics. We just swaddled him like a little babe. He's a little babe. You squint your eyes, you can't see anything anyway. So the meeting with Sir Pius, the Minister of Defence, led to him giving the go ahead to launch a military operation involving a small group of soldiers from the seventh heavy battery, royal Australian artillery, being drafted in to take on the emus.

To take on the emus. It really feels like it went from zero to 100. All right guys, I know there's bloody turkspeeders in Gallipoli, but there's no way we're gonna be beaten by a couple of emus It's actually 20,000 What 20,000 so All right Let's do it anyway. We've already released the pressure. We some fresh. Oh

Right well a vet Gallipoli was a fuck up a vet. Can I shoot 20,000 emus in the face, preferably? Don't ask why. Of that? Hello. What was this thing working? The battalion head over by sea, landing off the coast by several miles. Why don't you go by sea?

We're already in the same country as the emus. Well, the words just come in from Winston Churchill, who is the one that fucked up glipply as well. Unfortunately, they... What's the votes? The emus had the emus. Well, the words just come in from Winston Churchill, who is the one that fucked up a Glippoli as well. Unfortunately, they... What's the votes? The emus had the upper hand, they had the cliff. And they landed at the wrong beach. The emus were waiting for them

with machine guns at the top of the hill. No, I think they'd caught a train or drove over or something. Got a bus. Yeah, probably just caught a bloody bus. This is a V line over. Just jumped on the coach. It's a public bus. Yeah, I probably just caught a bloody bus. This is a V line over. Just jumped on the coach.

It's a public bus. Just a six-three. Just a public bus. Just a six-three. The gun. I've already got the gun. The gun. None of these references make any sense to it in such a sense.

The gun's a big train. It's a big train. The guys across the country threw the dessert. There you go. That's the gun. A V line's just like a fuck. This is gonna be the thing forever. A shit train.

A shit train that goes to the original area of the 60th phase of bus that goes from like, Moulvin to Secilda. You can't wait, so I missed the start, you're gonna do all transport. No, just the things that I just mentioned. A bus is like a large car. Yeah, you feel lots of people, approximately 52,

and I'm just like, yeah, 52. But people often break the law. Okay. I don't know, just 52 include a driver, I don't think so. He's gonna know the special seat. Or she mad do go. They were led by major CWP merideth and armed with Lewis machine guns and approximately 10,000 rounds of ammunition. That's a lot of rounds. Well, that's not

enough rounds. 10,000 rounds, I think like this 20,000 emm. At this stage though, I don't think they realize. Oh, yes. How many emus do you want? Oh, guys, you're going to have to use one bullet for each, every two emus. Try a lot of them. If you could on that, that would be a deal.

Literally two birds with one bullet. If you could ricochet from one skull to the other, that would really help me out. And actually, it would look pretty cool too. Because if you can't do it, we're going to have to go hand-to-hand with the bastards. That's a ton of punch in emus. Have you ever punched an emu? Corporal? This? Because if you can't do it, we're gonna have to go hand-to-hand with the bastards Punching you have you ever punched an emu corporal this That can you punch an emu Preferably ideally ideally not I mean where meant to we took a Hippocratic vet oath

Where we must event stop asking so many questions, okay? So peace goes to go ahead for the operation on the proviso. We had a couple of Couple of man-o-ovets fucked up. No, it's not fucked up. It's just tight This is a bit tight on the proviso the transport of the troops will be paid for by Western Australia And the farmers would provide food lodgings and stump up the cash for the ammunition So it's like well let you do it but we're not paying for any of it. So it's kind of like a low-risk thing for the federal Australian government. Yeah, it'll be pretty easy to distance yourself from that.

Yeah. It should be. The minister has said to have seen a bit of a silver lining in the deployment, as he felt the emus would provide live target practice for the soldiers in peacetime. as he felt the emus would provide live target practice for the soldiers in peacetime. Well, okay. I mean, I don't know if they would have fully prepared them for the second world war later. None of the Nazis had such a big bulbous body. And then any tiny pea had.

They moved like an emus. They run really fast, don't they? Yeah, they're really, really fast. But the Nazis don't move like the emus at all. Yeah. This is not what I prepared for. This big German, they don't do this. Oh.

Oh. No, do that, do that. Why does this do to me, mate? Manny? I'm sure. Ah. Ah. I got a sickie.

Ah. What are you up to? Oh, that feels mean to people who need cigarettes. Just got a big day muse. Nah, fuck Amy. Big dumb birds. They're dumbest. Oh well, I mean, sorry, doesn't so far.

They also can't fly if we didn't paint that picture before. Big, big stupid birds with little dumb wings. Hahaha. It is also thought that the federal government were keen to be seen to be helping the Western Australian farmers around this time. A movement was growing for WA to succeed. To succeed, not succeed. Although we're still bloody waiting for them to succeed. Anything. No, fuck you, WA. No, look, they do all right. They're out Texas.

They're huge. They're fucking huge. They're out Texas. They're huge. They're fucking huge. They're a third of the whole country. So there was, but there was a movement for them to secede and claim independence from the rest of Australia at that time. It was building up steam. So the federal government like, look,

let's help. Let's be seen. They'd be helping them out. If you let them kill two emusage, that's one of their demands for some reason. Did you guys know about this movement in the 1930s for W.A.D. trying to break away from? I had no idea. Dave? I think a couple of different states have tried to do it. This was the most interesting one. Actually, it got it all the way to having a vote.

So that a referendum on it in W.A. And it was the following year in 1933. So is it after the war or before the war, Emu War this is? This is after the Emu War. Okay. Or after the, yeah, the bulk of the... Well, if I could kill a few Emu's there, Jurek and they probably calm down. What kind of percentage Jurek and Jurek and I got close.

Close. How many? Probably 60, 40 stay, 60 say. JP? close. How many? Probably 60, 40 stay, 60 say. GP? 70, 30 just for a point of difference. Don't actually care. 68% voted in favor of leaving. Oh, oh, hang on. They're leaving. They've left. You guys didn't know that they're not in Australia or just part this. I mean, they're still attached. Despite this, like, that's a huge vote to leave.

Like the Brexit vote was 52 or 50, really close. Wouldn't it be cool though if they had a side? The Australian referendum was. And they'd like cut themselves loose, like drifted off into the ocean. They just dug a big trend. It was dynamited along that line. Oh, it's a nice big flat line to do it on.

It's a clean line, isn't it? It's a nice clean line. Yeah. What, Victoria's in the arms of a weird... It's a real jagged. I mean, it's the river. Yeah, it is. That's what you get for having a river as a boundary. Which I think is quite nice. It makes it, it makes it very obvious. Just last week I drove to New South Wales and I knew when I was there because I crossed the river. I was like, oh river, I'm a New South Wales now. Because the river can't really be used. You were using a bridge. You want a bridge. You didn't burp and wills it. Get a punch want a bridge you didn't work and wills it get a

Pond That didn't get a punt. They wanted a punt old episode. I'm getting sidetracked again. Sorry Camels drowned anyway, so 68% said leave and somehow they still they went there You're not that keen despite there so the British Parliament had to take it off the the Queen had to approve it as well. But that would be King at the time. Like a couple of years later they were like, we're not gonna, because also the Australian Federal Parliament would have had to have got it through both houses

and it's not gonna happen. So they sort of just went, oh, you know, let's just stop talking about this and hopefully W.A. will forget. I think that's probably what's going to happen with Brexit as well. Yeah, maybe because that is what happened in time. The W.A. Western's show and economy improved in the movement towards the session. People just forgot about it.

And now like it was like generations ago and we don't really even know about it. Yeah, it's fine. I don't really know anything about it, but that's about it. But that's because you're alive in the thirties. That is true. You let the revolt. Yeah, I'm like, can't go. I stay.

And then what do the emus say? When I'm with Acha. We love all your huge desert. So much of it. And your sweet surf beaches. I haven't been to WA. It's only said I haven't been to now. It's really good.

I'm gone there in January. Please come see me perform at the Okay, now it plugs. Noodle Palace. Alright, great. Over around the late January, check out your local guides. Check your local... If you're in Perth, the shimmies are in Perth. He that are higher, check your local guides for details of Matt's Western Australian Shrath. That's Perth Australia. I don't want anyone Perth shy or in Scotland getting confused. Where my Stuart family is from. Anyway, look, side tracked again. I keep splitting the party. The deployment of soldiers are set off to the troubled area of Western Australia on November 1st, 1932. It was about 250 Ks or more north east of Perth that gives you a little picture in your head and when they arrived Many of the farms that already been smashed by the emus and farmers were being driven from their properties

You can be in my head I'm picturing like the emus gun You know that episode of the Simpsons were the dolphins yes drive the humans into the sea Yeah, I'm picturing that That's creepy. What's there people that are driven from that house? Yeah, the emi's getting a car, I get in mate. I'm gonna drive you from your house. I'm gonna drive you to the edge of your property boundary and you can't come back.

You can stay there at the edge, but no further, no closer. You can't go further. Please. That'd be a brutal. But emi was heartless. They're making them stuck on the boundary. They're just walking around the property line anyway. Weed, I think.

So in that case, it'd be nice if the boundary was a river, hey. That's true, you could drown yourself. Is that what you mean? I probably should have a dip. You just think it live in the river forever. No, it's just nice to sit by a river, isn't it? It is nice to sit by it, but you're talking about making him live forever in a river.

I didn't say in, said by. Can emus swim. Can people swim? Well look. Not in the 19th. That's a case by case thing. Interesting. With emus or people?

Probably both. Interesting. You can teach an emu to swim. I've said that before. Is there a breed of aqua emu? Oh yes. Oh my. It was definitely. Cool. They're called. Seal a breed of aqua emus? Oh, yes. Oh, what? Yeah, cool.

They're called sail lemus. Slamius. Lamyus. That's a fact. Definitely. Saltwater emus. Yeah, they're bigger than the other ones. Anyway, the emus at number, the small band of soldiers

by quite a month. How many soldiers have we taken? Handful. One battalion. Yeah, sure, okay. Brake. That's a lot of them. He's a couple hundred. No less like I think we're talking less than a hundred by quite a while. So 99 99 all less to be specific Hey, we want to be specific is 99 or less. I think it's close, it's like closer to it. It's almost single figures. I think it's a small, it's a very small.

Like a close say a dozen. So like two soldiers of ten dozen. So Barry's turned to Morris and they've said, what's name of more? Wow, we've got to kill 10,000 emus each with one bullet each. Line them up. Why won't they stay still?

Stay still, wait, stay still, wait. I'm trying to shoot through you and 10,000 of you mates. Stay still. Are they attacking in formation? Or are they just going crazy? Yeah, flying V like mighty dust. They're little bunches. And they're waiting till you're at the bottom of a hill

and then rushing down and then from all sides and you're like, oh, we're surrounded, oh my god. I'd say let less one comes charging in on the back of a horse. The emu archers start firing arrows up the back. They start firing them. They're firing the arrows. Fire the arrows. Fire them. Fire the arrows. Fire the arrows. Fire the amulet. Father! Father! Father, Father, Gareth! Father, Amir! And we all lost our mind. I feel like it's so important.

It's what? And it's late and I'm very tired. I think I've got a temperature. Please, just... Father, Father! I think it was less like them attacking information and more that it was almost like they were doing the rope adobe sort of thing.

They were leaning on the edge of the rope. They were leaning on the rope and waiting and they were absorbing the punches or the bullets. I don't know that. They don't worry about it. If you lean on the edge of the rope, bullets can't hurt you. They just, they go through, they just shake through your bones. That's crazy. Especially if you're a big flatless boot.

So the soldiers, the soldiers arrived in the area and like always there's a slightly different varying accounts but some said they were just out of range so they were pretty useless at they didn't even hardly bother shooting out of them. Others said they just were missing. They're shooting and missing. They were ducking and weaving. They used to so fast they just weren't able to connect to them. Even with machine guns. Yeah. God. able to connect to. Even with machine guns. Yeah. God.

I think that someone is making excuses for being a pull shot. There are varying reports as to how these early days of the offensive went. But the consensus seems to be that the EMU's were way on top. Wow. The soldiers realized that they needed to take a more strategic view on how to get on top here. And after hearing word that a pack of around 1,000 emus

were heading towards a nearby dam. Yeah, they were marching towards the dam. The haven't em you on the inside giving them information. Yeah, that was it. We're springing into a homing pigeon to deer who would in fly across and be like, I've just been told that there's a thousand on the way here, but if you cut them off by a dodgy creek road, that's kind of it. Only I think a human told them and they um...

Which human? One of the farmers. Farmer. Farmer. Farmer Joe has just said that the thousand emie was a firing towards the dam. And so we must protect the dam at all costs. So that- This episode is brought to you by Progressive.

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Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. I decided to go to the dam obviously, and because I could get there ahead of them ahead of the aim is Lion white and be ready for ambush the dam. Yeah Well, not in the dam by the dam Dave's It's a nice to sit by a river to hide by a day? I imagine there were inside the dam, like breathing in how in action movies a lot. I mean it's a look, it's to be honest. Like a piece of bamboo.

They're breathing there. And then the in-mute comes in, they come up and just cut the throat of the evening. Dave, I mean some of these scenarios have said so far are a bit of fun, but that is getting a bit... They're a bit wacky, you know. This is a fucking im-u war! What is happening? Every... and that's what I'm trying to to say could you take it a bit more seriously? Sorry, I'm so sorry several emus. I presume are about to die

When the birds arrived they open fire the birds No, they've got even bigger machine guns and us Ambushed by machine gun fire I've got even bigger machine guns than us! Halt! Halt! A thousand birds. Foul, I'm ready! Am bushed by machine gun fire. Oh, that's good. And a small handful only was killed. What, so they still only got a couple? They split up and they just go off and packs

and they just can't. They're not far, they're not fast enough to get, get them. The aim users are just good. A big emus. Good at getting away. They're bloody, they make it fast, get away. I read reports that had come out at the time, suggesting the emus in each pack, had a leader, like a big, big bird leading them out.

A brigadier. Brigadier type. They stood out the front, basically, and they were kind of acted like a look out alerting the rest to when the soldiers were approaching. They're playing magic, magic Churchill style bagpipes. And it, but it, this is, so this sort of does suggest that they do have a bit of, the amuse were like pretty... They're being hunted. They weren't necessarily being malicious, like they... I mean the amus were living in their own country. Yeah Who and they'd lived here for quite a while long time and then farmers all of a sudden came and fucked up what they were doing?

Yeah, oh no I just really were the bad guys. Yeah humans. Oh no. It's nearly always the case not again. It's always us Oh no, it's nearly always the case not again. It's always us I thought these were like crazy psychopathic like Horrible emus. No, they're just emus just going about their day. I thought that they like you know Their ideology was death. No, they wanted to inflict it on humans No, they weren't they weren't even killing they were just ducking away They're fucking emus. They've made people leave their homes man. Has any We're fucking emus! And they've made people leave their homes, man.

Has an emus? They're tapping on the door. Right, for months. Taped on the door, and said, if you don't leave, we're gonna burn this house down. Yeah, it is a little bit like, come on, can we all live together in harmony? Yeah, when they say that the emus are driving them

for their home, it's just like, just go out there and go, shoo. Yeah, they probably looked out the window and saw one emu and went, pack the car, Bob, we've got to get out of here. Just go and out and bang some pots together and start with them and they'll run away. They don't need machines, they need a couple of pots.

That's what they need. Faa! Faa the pots. Go away! Get out of here. Wow, a thousand of them just ran away. Genuinely, the M is sort of been like, nah, the potsus would have been like, nah, the pros' weight's pretty good. Yeah, a lot.

But thanks, thank you for- We started you on. Definitely amus. Am you an amus? I don't know, am you on the inside. We found them all. Dave, scary way, go on, get him. Get out of here, Matt.

Go on. Go on, too. You've had your full, come on. Did your mom used to hiss at cats at stray cats Hey, Dave. No, it's because my mum was not some sort of witch doctor. Dave past me that musely bomb really comfortable here Now he's settling his driving us from the podcast Hey, what kind of bread is that is it made from? That is a weak free bread. Oh, well bloody. Oh Now I'll take it anyway, give it over, give it over. Come, mate, I feel real good here.

Can't we all be friends? Oh, I love it here on your little farm. Can. I don't want you to leave. But is it cool for me in 19,000 am I? This is a surprise. Just for forever more. Forever more.

Cool. Really, the farm is worth being a bit unreasonable on not letting 20,000 amusers hang out whenever they want so major merida stated that each mob had its leader right and they keep watch while the rest of its pack eats the wheat so that they go nuts on the wheat and there's an Amy out the front, so the whistling gone. They see something, hey, hey boys and girls.

So, are you, the whistling, the whistling, generally whistling. Yeah, they whistle, right? And then they give a signal. If they saw soldiers approaching, they'd change the tune from just normal whistling to the land down under a cook of a racy chin oil gum tree. Oh shit run, run!

Yeah, that's the signal boys. And they're just like, I'm just getting a little bit more weight and they're talking it into their back back. And then they head off. So like they had a system in place places what I'm trying to say and that I thought was pretty cool because you think of any of these as being the biggest dumbest idiots in the world right that's what you guys think of. The biggest dumbest idiots in the world. Tiny dumb wings. Yeah crack, crack ostrich. But there's a couple of things that make you feel like there may be

their slightly less dumb than you think. They know how to identify a hit song and whistle it as code, so that's good. That's right and... It's a big presumably right the song before the evening exists. Yes. Because of these skills, I think the the Cookebara one is quite old. Anyway. The Laura sits on the old gum tree. I won't sing, sorry. So because of these sort of strategies, the em is deployed or employed. They did them both.

They were able to outsmart the soldiers over the first few days of the battle. In fact, probably you could argue they outsmart them for the first nine days of the battle. That would be quite embarrassing. From people that have just come from winning a world war, I mean, we played a little part in it. I don't know if you can say it. Winning a world war, and now you can't beat the... You ask anybody in the world who won the first world war.

Australia. Australia. Australia. Australia. Why are you asking people, you know, at an Anzac Day march? Because that, you're going to get a different answer there. That's a good point. I mean if you go and ask someone down at bloody you know Ohio say Akron on Independence Day. The tire famous tire-based town. I reckon you'll get an answer something

to go something like Tyre. Say. You say made tyres. That's right. You know there's tyres on the jeeps we made those. So we won the war. Akron. Oh hi, oh baby. In the time you're also a baby. Oh.

It's weird that the Akron's address you by your stage and last. Yeah. But that is how they do. That is how they do. That is what they do. That is what they do. That is what they do. Are you doing an acron at me? I just got acron.

An acron, yeah. Can't believe it. Dan acron. Don't you dare. You dare take his name in vain. Now go on. Good on you. So after the first nine days of the war war there was very little success for the Australian army

But if you look at it from the other side which people often forget to do the emus a kick and ask now kick and ask I'd lost a few a few good emus, but a few good birds, but They got a little weak a lot of wheat but a flesh wound overall to the overall health of their crew. And at this stage, the war was called off. Basically, the Australian army's like, we retreated, we retreated. We're done. We're out.

Fuck this. Major Meredith declared that the emus were impossible to defeat. Oh my God. That is just pretty embarrassing. He was poisoned. He was poisoned. He was fine. That's what were impossible to defeat. Oh my God. That is just pretty embarrassing. He was poison. He was poison. He was. That's what you got to do.

You got to poison the pellets. Come on. There's no pellets. That's what I probably should have I should have opened with that at the top. No pellets. Well, it's a different story and if they didn't put that in the press release, that looked pretty silly.

Yeah. So Meredith was quoted as saying, if we had a military division with the bullet carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world. What? What does that mean? I don't understand that at all. Basically, maybe if we could somehow train these birds,

we could roll the world. And he actually spent the rest of his days trying to teach in a cycle to shoot machine guns With limited success and admirable efforts is true. No It guys has like a madman. He said they can person on the podcast. I'm embarrassed He said they can face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks Well, that that that sounds like a lot. I think it's just because I don't know what it is. They don't have armor like a tank.

Unless I've misunderstood emus for a long time or tanks. Yes, tanks are actually covered in feathers and can't fly much like an emu. He feels the Zulu warriors were like a fierce warrior, right? That were obviously. Yeah, in Africa. Because he says that the emus alike Zulu's, whom even dumb dumb bullets could not stop. What? So I don't know if he's saying like they're even better warriors.

Then Zulu warriors. Famously some of the best effort. Okay. Is this a guy? I don't think he's a bit mental. I think this is a guy who's just been beaten by a flock of birds. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. You should have said it. Yeah. Oh, that's what you think. You think it would have been easy. Well, tell you what, you know, they're like tanks and zoo-loo warriors and if they had gun ability, if they had trigger fingers, I mean, God help us all. Honestly, to be honest, you know, I reckon if we can, we should just kill ourselves, because there is no way we will stop them and they're coming for us, they're coming for

our jobs, they're coming for our wives and our husbands. There is no shame in being beaten by the best. I've said that before. Was that a time I beat you up? Yeah, there's no shame in being beaten by the best. Beat and by the Bob. This old hashtag beaten by the Bob. Yes. This old report. That's a good hashtag. Hey, go on. Another old reference room where for a little while, um, came for pain really took off. I've mentioned came for pain today. Okay, great. I've ignored it. I mean, the list is all here,

but I can't believe that over all this time someone, um, message me and said, equal opportunity. What about hashtag keen for bean? I don't like that. How do you feel about that? I don't like it. Oh, okay. So sometimes equal opportunity is good

and sometimes it's not well. Sometimes it makes just feel uncomfortable. It's not the equal opportunity that I have a problem with. Just don't like the, just don't like that combination of words. Yeah, there's someone. The keen for with. Just don't like that combination of words. Yeah, there's some on a theme for bean. I don't like that. Anyway, thank you very good opportunity, I guess.

Some, I feel some remorse there. Hashtag bit and bother Bob. Bit and bother Bob, all right. No shame, no shame. Other, the report back in the day also quoted an AIMU hunter. And a guy, this guy was one of them. Very good. All he did, all he did was go. So the report back in the day also quoted an MU hunter? I can't deny this guy was one of those. Very good. All he did, all he did was kill.

It's Mick Dundee, a live again. It's all he did, he was Mick Dundee, MU hunter, this is before we got into Crocs. Sure. And he said there's only one way to kill an MU. You got to skin it alive. I quite like this because he then immediately lists two words.

Really? There's only one way to kill an emu. Shoot him through the back of the head with his mouth closed or through the front of his mouth with his mouth open. That's how hard it is. What? So if you shoot it in its face with mouth closed. But if you shoot in the back of the head, it will penetrate at scale. in its face with mouth close. What?

Oh, but if you shoot in the back of the head, it will penetrate at a scale. Go through its brain, but if it's teeth are closed, it will, this beak is closed or bounce backwards. It'll explode at a head, I guess. It'll peel the brain on the way back out. Well, I think one happens is Amy's have such a tiny dumb P brains that you can shoot it through the head.

And as long as the bullet has an exit point, it'll be fine. They do a brief for their mouth, like you said. So they're always going to... Oh, so they're... Some picture in him like holding their beak closed. I'm just sure he's the big of a head. He's blowing his hand off multiple times,

which is hard to do, because it's really only get one hand. Per hand. Ha ha ha. One hand per hand, the boy said that. I've always said that too. It's funny that we both said that but I mean it makes sense because it's a universal truth. One hand per hand.

One hand per hand, I've always said it. Just as to. All right. Dave, you always said that? Never said that. That'd be right. Side, it feels good. Try it. One hand per hand. Yeah. hand per hand. Yeah, that's not a great

Yeah, feel great a report. Have you you had of the August newspaper? Yes any historical report about Australia The August is a big paper in Melbourne for a while Reporting the August newspaper in 1932 suggest the farmers were not happy with the withdrawal 1932 suggests the farmers were not happy with the withdrawal stated that you were the withdrawal method. Yeah. No, it's, it works for some. That's all I say. Well, also farmers were a bit ahead of their time.

They're like, can we honestly? We used to stop just a condom or something. Is that what the withdrawal method is? Pulling out before a calculation, right? I was trying to scoot around without hanging it cleverly. It's before you splooge, you remove. Is that it? Dave? Dave, is that it?

I can... I can't confirm. I was about to take a sip of water, but I'm really glad I did, because that would have gone everywhere. What's like the splooge? It's real mess. No, much like. This episode is a genuine sploogey mess.

Sorry. It is so hot. Much like a couple warm splooge. Well, it wasn't in a cap. Removal method and find a nearest mug or a receptacle decant So what you're doing you sort of decanting the splooge? Oh my god You don't want to Splooge I don't know but it's fun. I don't really spend it a long time. I don't know. I don't think I've ever said that

I'm bringing it back Splooge. It's got like, it really, it's got like, pictures, yeah. It's visceral. Much like. Is it on a matter of pink? Yeah. Splooge.

Oh. Oh no. Only on Boxing Day for Dave. When is Urethra as a bigest? Awesome. Biggest. That's one for people listening a couple of weeks back. All right, look, you don't have to explain everything, Matt, move on.

A report in the August newspaper in 1932 suggested the farmers were not happy stating they were alarmed at the Defense Department's decision to recall the machine gun party, which they thought had been starting to eradicate the MU pest. The settlers state that after overcoming preliminary difficulties, as in not being able to shoot any of them, the gun party had begun to make an impression on the ravaging hordes. Ravaging hordes.

That's as I was reported at the time. The decision of bail led to much ridicule for the minister for defense. And he was started to be pejoratively referred to as the minister for the EME war in Parliament. That's been embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, so he became a bit of a joke. Not only did he start a war against EMEs. He didn't finish the war.

I mean, I probably, imagine if they went in and just took him out, it would never have been referred to as a war. never have been referred to as a war It was only referred to as a war as it became like a fair fight almost like a battle of two equals Well, no one was ready for the other. Yeah, these birds if we could arm them we'd rule half of Russia You're some putting like jet packs on a moon. They can now fly as well. They're one weakness I would love to take a bird a flightless bird and like a penguin in a plane look mate. You're doing it Thank you, and just put his head So imagine if you were in another plane and you looked over and

there was a penguin looking out like the window sitting in like a economy. Oh. I'm not if I was weird. I don't want to pick. Is it the fork? What is the penguin? The penguin has. Yeah.

It's got a flip right now. It flips you off. It flips the bird. That's where it comes from. Oh wow. That worked really well. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's gonna flip her in, it flips you off. Yeah, it flips the bird. That's where it comes from. Oh wow.

That worked really well, thank you very much. Pierce had started to have pressure built against him from the farmers, can't be like, come on mate, you'll make us some real inroads there. What are you doing? You can't leave us now, Rick and we got him. We got him where we want him on the ropes. And he's like, nah, they want,

they want to be on the ropes, they're rope and open, yeah. Yeah. They love the rope. He succumbed to the farmer's pleas, and only two days later, he, after he first canceled the offensive. Cancel the cancel. He canceled it in order to second offensive. Wow.

Two days. So this is a guy who is pretty bloody. He's flipping a flop. He's a decisive, that's right to decisive politician. He's right to end open. Is estimated that the first offensive was able to successfully kill about 300 of the 20,000 birds? I don't know, what does that work out as a percentage to do? Mr. Maths?

Like 3%. 3%. Not a great amount. Or is it less than that I feel like I think it feels must be one and a half percent anyway look Because of the two the two in to anyway look we're getting bogged down in maths come back to me We're not gonna need a day for about 10 minutes. He's gonna be working this on it Well, this is gonna allow me to get through a few paragraphs here. This, finally. The second assault had major merit,

a merit of his troops again, opening fire on the big Don Birds, eventually ramping it up to killing around a hundred emus a week. So that was sort of at the peak. But the mission was again called off in December, 1932, you know, around a month after it began. Major Meredith estimated that all up, they killed about 986 emus with their 10,000 rounds.

So that's 5%. And it up been about 5%. My maths doesn't fully add up there with the 100 a week. So I was obviously, you know, that all rotated. Jess is very close to my head with a sickness and I didn't know to preach she's breathing on you. Jess get back in your bubble. Get back in your protective bubble. You bloody. I was gonna my bubble. I was just gonna read the bubble. Get her in the bubble. I was gonna read the next sentence with him and it's gonna be real funny. Oh sorry I fucked that little bit of fun. Yeah you fucked it. You did. You did. You did. of fun. Yeah, you fucked it. You think you're a big, big old fuck. Major Maritath estimated that all up, I've already said that.

So they've killed you. You would have helped that. You mean, instead of they've killed a thousand, is that about? They've killed about a thousand, with about, so in the end they've killed one in one in 20. One in 20. But in terms of 10,000 rounds, a thousand emus, that's one in 10. That's not too bad. That's not too bad.

It's not great. But one in 10, they're pretty big targets. I could, I could, I could, yes. And that's good. And assuming that they used all the bullets. Well, I'd be way. Well, yeah, they did say they used nearly all the 10,000. Oh, wow. Okay. Wow. On top of this, he married a th also claimed that approximately 2,500 birds had died as a result from injuries of the war, which obviously probably equates to long slow, horrible deaths.

Oh, dang it, I think. I don't know how he's estimating all this. There's small teams on, yep. Oh, I reckon, look. How many do you kill? About 100? Yeah, me too. Yeah. Strap a too yeah extrapolate if we all killed a hundred each they rounded up you know I like rounded numbers yeah so a hundred rounds up to a thousand yeah a thousand

rounds up to ten thousand that's 50% of them gone they're done you'll never say name you ever again that they've they're I assume that you are extinct yeah they're done oh no but apparently what extinct. Yeah, they're done. Oh no, but apparently Word of Word of all this got back to England plays like England and stuff and they were animal activists were unhappy You kill they're killing the the yeah, I was gonna say limited Numbers limited edition limited edition amus got only made 40 of these the whole point of it is because there was so many Yeah, but anyway, I'm not saying kill them, but I'm just saying they would certainly weren't endangered and still aren't I don't think it made 40 of these. The whole point of it is because there were so many. Yeah. But anyway, I'm not saying kill them, but I'm just saying they would certainly weren't

endangered and still aren't. There's just could have been nice a ways to go about it, I think. Yeah. But can you think of a nice way? Yeah, dynamite. Just ask them. Ask them to go away. I reckon, yeah, just go look to be honest.

Bank some parts. Yeah, so you reckon a bit of pot banging, failing that, a bit of negotiating. Yeah. A bit of a treaty. I reckon just farm something that I want to eat. Toads. Toads? Tain Toads.

Poison. Farms and Toads. Farms and Poison Toads. Zelensia oranges. Oh, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.

No barriers. We're in next season. They're all the rage. Louis Vuitton loves them. Not even the aim is all touch him. Loving them, Navels, the Gary, Gary when it comes to the grain, or of wheat, with the colossus going, and he grew. And the naval orangutans.

The aim is, you know, he was quite a booming trade. Anyway, we nearly done. Great, Em'm so hot. Amy's don't like hand fruit. Hand fruit? What? What? They're fruit, don't they?

Yeah, they prefer something like a big one, like a pineapple or a coconut. Something with a bit of challenge. Something you know, just holding your hand. Yeah, hand fruit. You never put the phrase hand fruit. It's a dumb phrase. That's not a thing. Yeah. A hand fruit. Hand, hand fruit. You never put the phrase hand fruit. It's a dumb phrase. That's not a thing. Yeah, a hand fruit. Hand fruit. Apple banana.

No, I understand. I suppose. No, no, no, I don't think you need four. I suppose. I suppose it's not as if it was a preparation. Imagine a fruit that you can hold in your hand. That's a hand fruit. Banana.

Peach. Oh, hand fruit. That's a stone fruit. There ones you eat with a stone. Yeah. With your hand, a That's a stone fruit. There one's you eat with a stone. Yeah, with your hand. A smashing with a stone with your hand. So it's a hand. I pineapple with my hand. Once I've cut it all down a little bit. See, there's the prep. That's a knife. I hold the fork in my hand and I stab the pineapple. Oh, interesting Dave. I need a rolling on that one. I'm gonna have to do some maths on this as well. Okay, we'll talk to you in half an hour. We'll talk to you in half an hour.

There won't be a half an hour, I'm afraid you guys. Despite the problems encountered with the Cull, slash war, the farmers of the region once again requested military assistance in 1934, 1943, in 1948. And each time we're not back. They said no. So what was happening there, we were just getting bigger and bigger the army. Of Amus?

Yeah. The Amus army. Is it multiplying? Is it still going? Is there like 40 million Amus out there? Yeah, you can't actually see the grand. There are number of people. If you see in a satellite image of Western Australia,

you know how it's kind of that Amu gray color? Yeah. That's because of the Amus. Oh. That was just, I thought that was just, it's a trick of the art. If you go for a walk in WA, are you walking along the backs of amus

Yeah, you're about six foot in the air. Yeah, and that's a bit tall Because you're probably on their back. Yeah, but you'd be more than yeah, that's true So you're about six foot tall so you'd probably be like you know, ten odd ten odd ten odd foot you are a bit odd and grunt Is that a thing when they have their Russell Crowe band up, please? No, that's 30 odd foot a grunt. 30 odd foot bloody hell. It's huge. He has got a lot of grunt that man and a lot of feet God bless Australia I'm alright New Zealand. I'm taking the work here. Yeah, well take him. I'm bloody taking. We take everything from New Zealand After you won the Oscar award for some sort of a thing. he goes, what was it? He read a little power me wrote He goes, I love a certain country. He goes something like

It was movement at the station. Thank you. It was something like thanks a lot New Zealand God saved the Queen God bless America, but thank cross for Australia Oh, and that is when there was not a dry eye mask. He melted, you know, there was moisture coming from all sort of orophicists. Oh there was, oh there was a draw a method was very popular that day. But we're leaking. I'm not mainly the eye orophic obviously but I'll say that. Yeah we'll leave. Sure we could we could rank them. We could rank them if we wanted to. There wasn't a dry button

the house There was something going around that day and it was nasty. It was making people feel quite sick of the stomach That power made me poo myself You guys have made me start doing poo jokes. I don't like it. Yeah, Matt. I loved that best part of the podcast best part of the podcast. All right, anyway, in the years since emus have continued to prove annoying with the farmers. But they won the war.

They won the war. They're undefeated. That was their only war they've ever been. They didn't even mean to get in it. If we'd called up America for backup, then maybe we would have finished them off. Well, they would have just brought over the else switches. Oh, a loop from that.

Where else was from Africa? Nah, America's got them, I reckon. Yeah, I'd probably do that, but he got everything. Call out the San Diego Zoo. How many ostriches have they got? Two. I think they would have rolled some Ohioan tyres at him. This look confusing.

There's only three ways to kill him. They're usually just like, what the fuck is going on? They head back to the sea. Where they come from. Where they're presumably there from. yeah, they go great next for it They can go pretty deep. Yeah There's only two ways to kill an emu. Uh, shoot them in the back of the head with the mouth open From the face or roll it's all right

Specifically from Ohio Acron ideally if you can. Macrons my brain. I've always been an acron man. I love people to send in some Ohio and facts so I can build on my knowledge. If you've got some acrons on your car, send in the photo. I'd love to see some acrons. It's not even a thing.

Tell us if it's a thing. Yeah, possibly a miss memory. That's got to be a miss memory. Probably a miss memory. Is acron a real place? It's probably not in a line. It's a great memory. That's got to be a miss miss miss miss Is Akron a real place? It's been probably not in a line. It's not I reckon Akron Oh, I was definitely a place. If it's not but you say it's a good place should we found a place called Akron if it's not real? Yes We'll build it we'll build it on a tire. I'm so close to into this report. Okay, let's finish so I can go home

So in the years since the emus have continued to prove annoying I can go home. So in the years since the emus have continued to prove annoying. Sure. And farmers, they're really bad at farmers of attempted and the governments have attempted other solutions, including they erected a huge emu proof fence. Like you were to say, a huge emu monument to appease the thousands of emus. Alright, we killed a few of you. Here's a memorial, stay the fuck away from the weight And yeah, didn't work a big fence. Well, it doesn't have to be that big though because they don't fly No, but they bloody go to great leap on them, but just make it like a bit taller than them Is it an Amy and Amy high-end? We got to finish this guy. I got to email the government They accidentally built a 100-year government stop

I don't know why I wrote that stop, but I'm in the rhythm of it now stop But they accidentally built a 100. Dear government, stop. I don't know why I wrote that, stop. But I'm in the rhythm of it now, stop. No, great. Were you implying just that they built a 100 foot tall fence? Well, he said it was really big. The emus will never get through this. Well, they won't, but they probably, you can just cut it down a bit.

They just like, you know that, you know that leader, emus out the front, whistling and stuff. He's also really good at lifting fences up, and he's just gonna wave in a munder. Mm-hmm. Ffff. Ffff. Just nonchalantly whistling.

That's them. Fluff, fluff, fluff, fluff. Yeah, that's the noise they make, isn't it? Yeah, they fluff their way through there. Splooching. A splooge of Amy's. That's the clock at the end. Oh God, a splooge of amus that it's the clicker man. Oh

God a splooge of amus just got through my defenses quick. Why are the governor? We didn't we didn't even give credit where it was due at the top of the show as to who suggested So we put in the hat. I'm gonna assume it's an Australian doctor splooge himself You remember this guy potentially because he's had one through before. He also suggested Captain Jack. Oh, that's two in a pretty recent. Yeah. His name's Steve at Shardays. No, no, no. Shardays. I would never forget Shardays. Oh, awesome. Steve, thank you. You are two from two, my friend. What is the luck of band drawn out It's become a bulging hat. It's huge. That's very cool. Also both obviously all the topics would do it great But two great suggestions Steve. I mean that had is so big an Amy you could not get in. It's an Amy You're out

Yeah, there was an Amy you slowly starving in there. I will not help it. Nature will take its course. Not starving our ideas though, because there's a lot of bloody good ones in there. I can't feed my family ideas, Matt. Shut up, emu. Shut up and bloody just enjoy it. Hey, enjoy the knowledge. They're all, but I mean, just having the idea isn't enough. I mean, we don't give them any access to Wi-Fi in the hat, so.

So you just do re-ex? They're just like what is the Amy war me? I shouldn't know I know about this Oh, dad, you know what I think about the Amy war? Father, father, father, father, I'm as father Are you done? I am done, that's the end of the report That was very good

Char day Steve, you've done it again Slow clap for you mate That was very good. Char days, Steve, you've done it again. Slow clap for you, mate. Oh, I appreciate that. That was a- That was really cool. I have heard people speak of the MU once. I was in Newcastle in a, I don't remember where I was when I heard about the MU,

or the Tassel. Oh, you never forget. At a Chinese takeaway. No, Indian takeaway. Oh, no. Sorry, I'm not a liar. I'm a liar, sorry. Why are you lying?

Why would you lie to us? Right to our faces. Dave, I thought we were all friends. I consider you guys like family now. What a low dog. I'm sorry, Shardays. Anyway, great topic. Yeah, great report.

Great, and we've also got to thank the people of our patron supporters who brought you this episode with their support and also voted for that topic. Yeah. Great choice. Good job everybody. And I'll be back. And I'll be back.

Can only assume that the other topics were not as good because we trust you to pick the best. Yeah. They jumped on this one a big way. The other two top is, we can't tell you what they were, but also great topics. The kangaroo war, the koala war. But we'll get to them maybe, who knows. Well, who buddy knows?

Definitely won't sneeze again. We also would like to remind our already Patreon supporters that our Christmas cards, if you're listening to this on the day the episode comes out all the day after, which is December 15th, this is the final day, December 15th, to support the Patreon in order to get a do-go-on Christmas card sent to you wherever you are in the world featuring my toe print and a message from Matt and Jess. You're not even gonna put a message in.

You're not even gonna put a sign D.W. What does that toe say, everything? Thousands of words. A toe print is a thousand's worth. Are you worried somebody could like get your toe print and then clone you? More that they'll break into like bank vaults of the future where everyone has to scan their toes. Yeah sure. Well let's just like let's set up your bank vault with your tongue print then. Okay and I'd also like to say, little stimulation. If you are a member of the pink panther robbery group, you're not allowed

access to my toe. How would happen? How would you know? There's no way you could possibly know that Dave. I just know. I'd be honored if a member of the Pink Panther robbery group saw your toe. That's what I imagine. I'd be honored by the somehow. If you honored by my toe, for my toe print. What an honor. Maybe so. Honorable for us. Hey, this is the time and the episode where we get to direct our gratitude more specifically to a couple of our Patrons. Yes. Patrons.

And I'd like to kick us off here by giving my deepest condolences and gratitude, because he's having a tough time, possibly. But it's really good going. I think he's coming through it pretty well. Great. Pretty hard. He's almost got one of those names that makes me feel like he's made up.

He's got a superhero's alter ego name. Cool. You know, the alliterative name, alliteration type. Oh boy, it is, have we said it's hot in here. It's so hot. I should not be wearing my Santa outfit. Yeah, it's weird that you are. But we did just do the photo shoot for the postcards guys. So it's gonna be prerunner shoot is a loose term for what we just did. I mean, we shot some photos. True. We shot some emus. We shot some emus. We shot some emus. Through the head. But anyway,

this guy, the math was open so they lived. It really bizarre also a also a superhero in his spare time but a great guy and listener he listens well he fights crime I believe the man Josh Jones oh Josh Jones Josh Jones I've heard of him I've heard of his he's superhero character Matt can you tell us what his aliases, which superhero is Josh Jones? Yeah, Josh Jones. Josh Jones, yeah, he's a nighttime baby boy. Ooh. Oh my. What does he pretend to be a baby at night? And then when the crib, when a crime gang strome robbed banks, he's inside the vault and he goes,

whaaat? And takes him out with the power of todling. He punches him in the face and he goes suck on that dummy Sock on that dummy, which is like what we would call pacifier pacifier, are you pacified because he's bilingual he can talk both Australian and American and American and Scottish and all the bridge what's he saying for Scottish one? We dummy That's Australian that's isn't that's Australian and dummy your fucking No, that's a strong that's us that's a strong and dummy your fucking That's probably more or Z. Hey Josh Jones has got a lot of gratitude. That's great I'm good. I just showed you know who else deserves a little bit of

Gratitude I have a funny fit this Jess You've been building up to this for a while, but you can think we all feel like thank you No, I appreciate you trying it. You're gonna do it in front of everyone, but I don't need that I'm not the kind of guy who needs public Adoration But it's really hot in here, and I want to go home. All right, so I'll thank you That was the opposite of gratitude. Yeah, I'm be gratitude. I'd have gratitude towards you if you shut the fuck up

Yeah, I'd be grateful if you just popped up, okay? Now this person I feel like in a spare time slash her retirement in the future, she's gonna run a really successful boutique florist. I think this isn't me. Are you doing predictions? Well Matt did and I wanted to say something. No Matt, no Matt talked about what this guy currently does, you're talking about someone's a future, I love you.

Yeah, you got, you're tapping into the... And I'm also worried that like, she'll be like, what the fuck? I'm not gonna do that, but I'm in a nice way. I think that's a really lovely thing to do. Flora's tree. A really cute, but take flora's tree. I'm so into that. And like, she makes a good living from it.

Like, she's very comfortable, and she's sort of known in her community. She's the best. And she has the best time. And that's obviously Janine Steven. You know? Janine's the only name. I'm a janitor, Namer. I know you knewine Steven is the name of a teenager. I know you knew who I was talking about, but our listeners don't necessarily know.

So I just thought... Janine Steven, that's a good name. We surround ourselves with good names. He's such a mess here. Okay, there we go. Janine Steven. I'm gonna say that over and over as I go to sleep tonight. Because I think it's really soothing.

Janine, Steven. Guys, you know what I love? What do you love? When someone is so great, they demand not one, but two first names. Yeah. And then, Janine, Steven. But then somehow, single handedly,

top that name somehow. And just pick the two best male names I've ever heard and have them in one combo. Alright. Okay. Think of your two favorite names. Yes, Gary Johnson. Okay, close.

Yes? Christopher Walken. Walken of the first time. I'm not a Johnson of the first time also. We both found that pretty bad. What about Dave Matthews? I just want to say that Dave Matthews. He can't call it kid Matthews.

Dave Matthew? Matthew Dave Fidd. It would be great if I thought... Craig David. Yes, I'm walking away. I heard someone said, I'm sorry Jess, but someone said the other day that they once heard of a guy who had Craig David Beard syndrome where he could only grow his beard in the manic field. If Craig David had a vision of the Craig David Beard. Wow. That doesn't,

that's someone lying to me. I'm realizing now. That is someone who is too embarrassed to say that they shaped their beard. No, I'm talking about the two best names. Also, imagine if I called my kid Walkin', Walkin' Warn. Oh, that's a great name. That's cute, actually. I would like to say a big thank you to the love of our lives. I think it's fair to say we can announce this. Wow. Oh, wow.

Grant Travis. Grant Travis. Say it a couple times. Grant Travis. Grant Travis. It makes you feel good. Grant Travis. Grant Travis. Grant Travis. That is. Grant Travis. Grant Travis. Grand Travis. It makes you feel good. Grand Travis. Grand Travis.

Grand Travis. Grand Travis. Grand Travis. Grand Travis. Oh, Travis, it sounds like a word to me. Oh my god, I've just looked that way, Grand, Grand lives. Oh, Akron. Fuck, that'd be amazing.

Aberdeen. Oh, Scotland. That's awesome. It's more like Grant. He'll understand what I meant when I said suck on that dummy fuckhead Yeah, that was for you suck on the weed dummy. Oh, no, I'm not Look I've got and I know that's probably on on the service offensive But my great great-grandparents were from Scotland. So I think I have a right. I don't know that you do I think I have a right

I own that question. We lassie. Now I love it over there, great place. Beautiful place. Beautiful place. I was there. But a few months ago, as was Dave. You were there but a few months ago. I know.

It sounds like you were there every time except a few months ago. I was there but a few months ago I wasn't. Oh my god. But I'm back there now. You both knew what I meant, you fuckhead. I don't think Grant travels, I think. Ah! These are having a good time. It's so hot on Melting.

So thank you to all our Patreon supporters. We absolutely love you. Out of those. You can get involved. The Christmas card offer, if you want one for Christmas by Thursday, December 15th, you have to sign up. We'll send that out to you. It's gonna be a lot of fun.

But, room and remember, you can request no weird toe print. No, I'm gonna say that you can't request because it is way too hard to trick trick. No, I think you can only view requests that you gotta put it in writing and whatever. I like you getting it. Like ASAP. Yeah.

Get on there, we're sending them. Some clarification, because we are listened to internationally. Yeah, in Aberdeen. Time zones. Does it have to be by the 15th from where they are? How do we figure that out? Oh, it may get 14th just to be safe. 14th. No, it won't.

Today. Hey, maybe we'll be a little bit more. You're doing now. Yes today, your time. Yes today, your time. I've signed up. No, I'm going to use it. Have a clear that up.

Australian Standard Time, yesterday, okay. Okay, you got it. We're like really far ahead of all of the time. Look at the sun and if it's up, you've missed your shot. That's the rule. That's the rule. Other guys, well, we'll start linking to the live show that we weren't going to talk about. I'm really sorry about that. Drop to the bombshell. No, it was sacred. We can't trust him with anything.

I'll tell you I had time when... No! I was just going to say when... Don't tell you the pin number that I just trusted you with. Dave's pin number is... No, but... Seven... Oh, 80!

Shut up! No! But, bovrol. Ah! 780 bovrol. That's a cool lab for a show. 780 bovrol. Welcome back to 780 bovrol. That's a cool lab for a show, 780 Bob Roll. Welcome back to 780 Bob Roll.

That's sick. I think I was thinking about Billy Conley because the Scotland and he used to do a bit about Bob Roll. He did use it a bit of that. Anyway, what are we doing? I need to go home now. I have to get up. You two have to get up.

Wherever you're listening, you have to turn this off and go home as well. You can tell your boss, you quit. Yeah, I think that's only fair. I'm with this bad boy up, Davy Boy. Getting contact with us, of course, at DoGoOnPod for all the Instagram, Twitter and Facebook account, do go on pod.gmr.com, we're on the Patreon, we'll be linking out to all that kind of stuff, but thank you so much for listening and until next time Matt has one thing to say,

do you, Matt? I was just going to say, please give us a five-star review if you can be bothered, that just helps us in some way Some sort of algorithm thing. It only takes you 30 seconds and it makes us feel a minute worth of bitterness So that some of those little reviews warm the bloody cockles. Yeah Oh, if you get a little reference in there to the pod. Oh man warm the cockles Warm the cook. I've got to go on warm my It's like it's a main, it's a main, something, a mess. I've got to go.

Thank you and goodbye. Waiters. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now.

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