Two In The Think Tank - 61 - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL! THE LEGEND OF KRAMPUS

Episode Date: December 21, 2016

Another year, another Christmas episode! This year Jess talks about the mysterious legend that is ....Krampus! Our little Australian brains knew nothing about this. There is also a lot of talk about completely irrelevant things. Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. Hello and Merry Christmas from the do-go on podcast my name is Dave and I'm here with Santa Claus himself. Matt Stewart and our elf friend, just perkins. What on Santa Claus? Now let's be honest, I'm the elf.

No, you're festive boy. I'm first number one ranked festive boy on Google Docs. I feel like we've been, we've probably led people astray a bit because I'm clearly the most festive of all the boys here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I look, I put up my tree today. Today. Mine's been lost for weeks.

Okay. Alright, but did you do it today? See, right now, I'm more festive than you. How so. I don't understand how that works. Still fresh. I mean, the trees are still basically in my hands. And it's like a few days before Christmas.

Yeah, he's still got pine stuck in his hand. Look, he's bleeding. Yeah, look at that. What in the blood? Bleeding for Christmas. Bleeding for God. Bleed Christmas. I bleed red and green As I first asked that cast take bleeding for Christmas No, I'm a number four. I fucking love Christmas. So hard. I fucking love it

You love it. I love it. I feel so good just sitting here being with you guys because it's Christmas What about the rest of the year exactly? Christmas I mean, being with you guys, because it's Christmas. What about the rest of the year? Exactly. Christmas. You know what I mean? No, I'm not sure I do, but I like enthusiasm. All right, come on, Christmas. That's good. But I, yeah, I've told you before.

I don't like it as soon as it's done. But when it's coming up, fuck, I love Christmas. The boxing day you're done. Yeah, I'm over pretty quickly. Yeah, okay. But the lead up to it, I love Christmas. The boxing day you're done. Yeah, I'm over pretty quickly. Yeah, okay. What? But the lead up to it, I get like, you know, it's some sort of a hazy fog that falls over me

and I'm just like a Christmas maniac in all the right, in like in positive ways. Good maniac. Cause I mean, off the top, Christmas maniac sounds like this isn't good. But it's a Christmas maniac sounds like this isn't good Yeah, that's right you're the hands grubber. Yeah, but I'm no grubber. I'm no grubber You're a grubber and a shaker. I'm a grubber and a shaker in a good way Do you have a favorite Christmas Carol that you like to get jiggy?

I mean it did if depending on how you how you're calling what where you're drawing the line at Carol If you're talking about Christmas song, I do. I'd say it'd be between, oh that's contradicts myself straight away, but it'd be between a couple and that'd be the two classic ones I reckon, how to make grave you by Paul Kelly and a fairy tale by Alana Smoreset. Fairy tale, New York by the Pogs. Fairy tale. And number three, like very close behind that would be

Alainus Moorahset. Moorahset, ironic. Finally, ironic. My favorite is WAM, last Christmas. That's a good one. Love that track. Oh, good one, yeah, good one. Well, that song.

And also let it snow as my favorite. Like sort of Kelly. Classic one. Yeah, that's a good one. Jess Perkins. My mom always used to put on this. Every Christmas morning, she would put on this every Christmas morning Should put on this CD that she had like a Christmas song

See that pet TBS go no was it like I Don't out there you got it hey, there's no wrong answers on Christmas, man You got to throw it out there no it was like it was just like it was a compilation CD and she would always play big crossbees white Christmas Oh controversial a little bit controversial. No, just always reminds me of you know waking up on Christmas morning I once sat in a near Christmas time in Cafe in the Scottish Highlands and they played the first minute of white Christmas on loop and I sat in eight lunch for 45 minutes Why I was gonna say why to take you

45 minutes for lunch, but you do eat very slow. I'm slow. I'm not even being in speeding me up. Yeah, can't do it. I remember being, maybe Google, but not being. I forgot about how to make gravy. That's my favorite Paul Kelly song that I never counted as a Christmas song. Yeah, right.

Because I love it all year round. He's in jail. It's lead in, it's in jail. Yeah, but it's a great song And if you're if you're not Australian, so you probably don't know that song you should look it up I was listening to a Christmas Spotify mix that I made a Year earlier, but I couldn't remember putting this song on the came up was by a new kids on the block And I don't know I can go and remember this call, but it starts, it goes, oh fuck, I should have remembered what it said before I saw the sentence, but it's something like, Merry Christmas,

everyone from their new kids on the block. It's awful, but it's awesome. So good. What about tin lids? Did you, listen to any of the tin lids? It's awful, but it's awesome. So good. What about tin lids? Did you listen to any of the tin lids? Last year on Radio, we played most of their albums. Jimmy Barnes is a kid. Jimmy Barnes is kids.

Oh, right, I've never heard their song. They did Christmas album. It's adorably bad. It's so funny, because they were kids. That was a big hit. I remember they banned a big, big old hit. So was it genuinely popular? I think so.

So they had sold. Yeah. I don't know why, but anyway. Pretty great. So they got one of my tapes. There you go. Not. Actually a couple of years ago I downloaded all this Christmas music and played it, like

loudly in the house on Christmas Eve to kind of annoy my family. Just like I was just being overly enthusiastic. That's the Christmas spirit right there. That's why she's number three on the festive scale. Yeah, well I wasn't, they were just, they were being no fun, I was like get into the spirit. I like that, yeah, I'm with you, get in. Yeah, so I was trying to, I was playing on this video.

Get in, fuck off. Chris of Spirit, that's Chris of Spirit right there. The good one, a great one is Michael Booblane, Chennai, Twain, seeing, I think they do white Christmas. Yeah, and it's like it's again so bad it's good because she's just doing as many vocal tricks as she can and it's It's just them showing off and it's brilliant. So good. So now Twain that sounds more that sounds like what I'd think Mariah Carey be all about You know, she's yeah, you know, every song she somehow gets that in there. She's holding her hand up and down.

Yeah. For me, it's impressive for about 10 seconds and then you go, wow, this is actually awful on my ears. Sing the word. Yeah. Just get that word out, would you please? So, what are you saying? What are you saying? What's the message here? So guys, yes, this is our secondary Christian special yeah, which I'm excited. I did the last one which was about the history of Santa Claus Check it out if you haven't listen to it already. It's very good You pointed to Jesse was there this week is is is Jess and I don't I don't know what it is I don't think you know what it is either but I was just thinking Christmas specials TV Do you have one or or whatnot, you know like Santa's little helper on the Simpsons that for like very early

I said maybe even the first was that the first episode of the Simpsons. Yes, Simpson's roasting on a Open fire I think it's called wow. I also really enjoy the one way of art shop shop lift Tree yeah, and then at the end. I also really enjoy the one where Bart shop shop lit. Oh yeah, yeah, tree. Yeah, and then add the in ars. No, Nelson. Yeah, that's it. And that's it got one of my all-time favorite. Farging but would you like to play it again? You have selected. No. Leica Valor's putting challenges. That's so good. That's got one of my all-time favorite lines. Marge is Lisa at Camp Granada. You're a boy.

Hello, Marge. Yeah, that is a great episode. Well, I went to a Granada in Southern Spain earlier in the year. And that was in my head the whole four days I was there that time. Do you understand? Capiche? Capiche?

That's all right. All right. So this episode is, uh, it's like that, but, but us. That's what I want. I want like a bit of, I want to, uh, some pathos in there so you, it's funny, but sad as well, because you feel bad for

about in that episode. Oh, no, it's sad. That's what I wanted to do for this episode. I think my favorite Christmas special is family ties when they did. This is an old note. You probably went born once there, would've been in late 80s. The 1940s.

But I've watched it in the 90s, all right. Sure. But it was where Michael J. Fox's character was like the scrooge character. And he went through that thing about Tom Thumb and Little McDougons and whatever. And the ghost of Christmas. Crash me. What a ghost. Crash me. Little McDouginson or whatever and the ghost of Christmas Crash me What a Christmas little McDougelson Look I can't remember any of the garden Harry Dickinson novel Charles Dickinson

You were so close with all of those I mean I gave you the right just the ghost or christmas You were so close with all of those. I mean, I gave you the right. Yes. The ghost all crushed me. Crushed me. I just, you have a favorite Christmas. Yeah, I can't. Crushed me.

I'm sure I do. I can't think of any of the top of my head. It really put me on the bloody spot. No, I don't know. Was it the one where the Nanny had the full episode like the cartoon intro? Only the full episode was that cartoon star. Very. Did that happen? Yeah. Did that happen? Yeah that cartoon star. Fairie, did that happen? Yeah.

Did that happen? Yeah, that happened. I've never seen that one. Was it Christmas? Was it Christmas special? It just sounds a bit like that people were too busy to film whenever Christmas they got some app related. Yeah, probably.

Probably. It feels like that would have cost more, but maybe not. We'll take it more time. Do you think that they may be... No, he's not. But it's not like they looped the... What's what it is now. Fact. Well, they didn't just looped the... Well, it's not like what it is now. It's not like...

It's not like... But they didn't just loop the thing shot. Chris Mish. For the 24 minutes. Oh yeah, yeah. That actually became La Nena. And they just put snow over the top of it. And the snow slowly filled the screen.

And then when the snow filled the screen, I was in the episode. Merry Christmas. Because they were buried... To death. Bury to death. Buried to death. What about Christmas movies? Do you have any movies that you like?

Oh, I have. Obviously. I love to. I actually do watch that on Christmas. There's a Poirot special. Of course there is. The Christmas. I enjoy that.

That's good. Love actually. That is a good movie. I'm going to be watching that with my mum on Christmas Eve. I enjoyed the Muppets Christmas Carol. That was so good. Yes, that was good. Did that have Michael Cain then? Yeah, Michael Cain. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Mum was bad but I think it was my baby. Dave you do it. I'm Michael Cain. I would like to say Merry Christmas. We did it.

Even Dave's face is great when he does it. You got to commit to the cane. All right. You got it. You got it. What about Christmas? You said cane. And now I'm thinking about candy canes.

Do you have favorite Christmas foods? Oh Turkey. Yeah, I first said the other day. I was like I think it's the only time of year I ate turkey. I just love roasts I love a roast sure and this year I've been told that we're having at my mum's cousin's house. We're having salmon and salad What the fuck? I mean, it's summertime. Turkey's not really a summer. A summer. Salmon can fuck off.

Salad. I'm not gonna waste my life on that. Any time you live, Matt, one time. It's depending on what you believe. Always ruining with your bloody religious affiliations. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that's happening to you. That's Chris. My favorite is peas with gravy. It's, you know, it's the roast. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that's happening to you. That's a question. I'm sorry that it's peas with gravy.

It's the roast because I'm usually forgotten about in some way that I don't eat the meat. I just get double serving of all the veggies on the side. Do you just get double peas? Double peas, but I fucking love. I love peas with gravy all over them. And spuds. Yeah, spuds.

Pumpkin. Oh man, pumpkin. Any of that roast stuff, apart from passing it, passing it, fucking fuck off. See, I've heard this other way. My dad loves it, but... Told two meanings of fuck off too early today. I have left myself nowhere to go. That's absolutely not true. Yes, fuck off. No, I've got to do the report. You're in the bin with the salmon. The ice only stopped eating mate this year and my mum is not good at, like, she can't handle it because she's always been You're in the bin with the salmon. The ice only stopped eating meat this year, and my mum is not good at, like, she can't hand, because she's always been like a meat and three veg kind of cook.

So she just- She's just full veg. She doesn't understand. She's always like, oh, it's not- Is that enough? So I'm very interested to see what Christmas is going to be like. It's going to be interesting. So you're not going to have turkey.

No. But you'll have it available. It'll be there, because I come from two very large families, so there's a lot of people. But don't you feel like you're a bit of a prick for not having turkey when little Davey Warnocky is up in the country eating salmon and salad? I'll also be up in the country, mate,

and do you want me to just bring you back some turkey? Yes, actually, don't feel too bad for me because at my mom's house, my parents' house yesterday, we had a special Christmas lunch because we couldn't have a roast next weekend. No way. Yeah. You're all outraged. Well, I was trying to do it.

Well, it was for me. And then we also had a cheesecake from the cheesecake shop, so I had a great day. Oh, I'm so happy for you. Yeah. At least, French and Christmas, maybe you are the festive boy. What a Christmas. What a Christmas. What a Christmas. What a Christmas miracle!

What should we get onto our Christmas family? I'd love to get onto the show. It almost feels like we've been padding, but we've got no reason to. We just thought, hey, what are your thoughts about Christmas? I just got excited. Books! What's your second favorite holiday? You got a very good question.

Do you have any techniques for getting the Christmas tree down and storing it away? Punching it in the throat, kicking it in the teeth. Matt's going to throw his out the front door. He wakes up in Christmas. Boxing day and it just starts boxing the tree. Do they call it boxing day everywhere? Yeah. It's a...

Not everywhere, but basically, like everywhere that I think nearly everywhere You go everywhere that would have Christmas has boxing day. Oh look. I think that's kind of right someone's gonna email and tell me if I'm bloody Actually, but you're here in the Cook Islands. We call it something else. Yeah, no, that might be I Certainly not an Australian thing. Even though we do have the Boxing Day Cricut Test Match. Sure. Which... That's a elsewhere.

Right. I mean, it's here. And what's your favorite food? You aren't a cricket match. What's your first memory? What's your first memory of the Boxing Day Test? Anyway, now, just you did a shout out on Twitter for people to suggest Christmasy topics.

I did. I did and actually yeah people Got in contact with me which was really lovely and very helpful. Thank you for that and quite a few people came back with the same Suggestions. Did you decide to get with the popular consensus? The popular because I was and also it was nothing that I'd like something I hadn't heard of Christmas. Yeah, it was about. Do you guys heard of it? Christmas. Yeah, it was about, do you think I heard of it? Christmas. Christmas. I mean, I know, Christmas. I heard about Christmas. I was spelling it in a weird way on Twitter.

Weird, not Christmas. In my head, I'm spelling that like C-R-I-S-H-M-A-S-H. Christmas. Christmas. In my ass, yeah. Christmas. Christmas.

Christmas. It's so good. Christmas. Got a good face. Anyway. Am I a sage? Yeah, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh Everyone was thinking and that's cruel. You implied it and I just, I could have left it but I didn't. We were all saying, you know, with our eyes to you and me on what a f***o. You said it with your mouth as well and that's when I went too far. Yeah, sorry Dave. Sorry f***o. Warnicky. He's our little Christmas boy.

It's a Christmas miracle. Sorry. What day is this? What day is Christmas day? Excuse me, f***o Sorry. What day is this? What day is Christmas day? Excuse me, FUGO BOY! What day is this? Oh, I sure. It's Christmas day.

Anyway. Sorry, we had a few people tweed in, um, somebody suggested to do the origins of Santa, which Matt did last year. That hurts. She's that hurt. Can you tell me who that was? So I can send the most firmly written tweet. I can have day. You know what I mean?

It was a very old, I think it was like episode seven or something. Ow! Yeah, but I could have just saved time and just asked you to send me that report. And I could have just done it again. We should have just done the same report every Christmas. I thought that'd be really funny. What about others? Yeah, I don't remember most about reports.

We're usually very hard. No, I just know what though. People will sometimes talk to me about topics that we've done and I'll be like, yeah, we've done that as a topic and I'll ask me a question logger. Oh, I don't know. I don't remember the information. I thought this podcast was going to make me smarter. Ask me a question about any topic, Jess, and I'll show you

how my mind is like a bad trap. All right, Jess asked me this earlier in the day, and I don't remember this. What is the name of the giant painting opposite the Mona Lisa in the Louvre? He's also part of that group chat too, so he saw it. Did you see that? That makes it even worse.

He's carrying it over. He was like, not about me, not radiant. Or is it the pioneer boy? Frederick McCabbin? Frederick McCabbin? Yeah, very close. Very close. Another very well-known Australian artist.

Very nicey with the wedding at Kana. I mean, none of those words ring about. Why was he in a message like a few hours ago? Sorry. Do you ever read our messages? Sure. Okay. Good answer, Matt.

Anyway, so people tweeted in... It's directly replying to me. Then yes. When you guys are chatting amongst yourselves, I could not. Could not care less. When you get on there and there's like 30 mismessages, you're like, I'm not reading all this. I'll just get the gist in the last one. Yeah.

Great guys, so it's all settled. See you tomorrow. Oh, great, all settled. Don't know what time that is, all right? Just I'll just ask tomorrow, yeah. I'll send them a message. I'm not scrolling. Please, please, repeat. No, yes. Topic, come on send them a message. I'm not scrolling Please repeat

No, yes, topic come on. Yes, sorry. Okay, so last year as we mentioned Matt did the origins of Santa So my question for you is who is the opposite of Santa evil Santa? Michael Cain is Ebenezer screwed. Is it a Michael Cain is Ebenezer's scrooge. Hello, I'm Michael Cain. It's Ebenezer's scrooge. What type of a user is it Ebenezer? It's Christmas day. Christmas day, I should say. But I do not respect that holiday. I'm making my people work for free. It's all my bad man. Oh, what's this? Some sort of frog. Carry me. Hello. Hello. Wow.

Well, I clearly remember. Yes, I remember. I'm from my phone. I see where this goes. I clearly remember the movie with it. What's some kind of frog? Oh, this. Opposite of Santa.

I don't know what it is. There was a thing. I don't know if this is anything, but I saw a movie pop up on my Netflix recently and it was at look like evil Santa and its name was something like Grampsus Yes, it was a movie. Well, that's not the name, but it was a movie that was made last year And it has like Adam Scott and Tony colled in it and it's about Krumpus.

Krumpus. He was close. Krumpus. Krumpus. Krumpus. It sounds like a Krumpus, doesn't it? What was delicious? What's a Krumpus?

Okay, I hadn't heard of it either, so they go. I was at Michaelcane. Yeah. Krumpus. I'd never heard of that. You lost it. You know what? You lost it. You lost it. I didn't be a lot better than that. You know what?

I was gonna try to force him up. You lost it. You know what? I didn't get that because I didn't say hello. I'm Michael Cain. No, Michael Cain. Crumpus can go fuck itself. Oh, there we go. He's got to say,

Do you have to say hello on Michael Cain? Can you just say Michael Cain and then get into it, I wonder. Michael Cain? I am a man. No, see, you have to say hello. Hello. I'm Michael Cain. And I am a man. Here we go.

Here we go. He's got to say hello I'm Michael Cain though which is weird isn't it? I'll be I'll be interested to think you find out if anyone feels that sounds anything like Michael Cain. We are here and bringing him right. I'm going to be amazed if anybody is still listening because we've we've chatted for way too long. Hello, I'm Michael Cain. Jess, please do go on. Can't wait to hear about Graham. So his compass is a thing. Crumpers is a thing. Is it just a movie from a year ago?

No, it's based on this legend of which. He's a bloody legend. I'll tell you all about it. Well, I've never heard of him. OK, neither would I. If you OK then, so. What about me? Yeah, what about Matt? Matt has never heard of him. Okay, neither would I. If you're okay then, so. What about me?

Yeah, what about Matt? Matt has never heard of him. Have you heard of Matt though? Oh yeah, yeah. Big fan. Big done. Big fan. So this was suggested by, well, particularly three people on Twitter.

The wise men? The three wise men on Twitter. Right. Dane, who's at MGI 471, underscore Lee, William Jack, who's at Aussie Boomerang, and vinegar-based dreams, who is at vinegar BBQ dog, DAWG. Oh, they're all good. No, that's what a handle is way too long. You've released up half the characters just replying to them. Yeah, true. You gotta think about that. Bit of a baby cute dog. Dog.

Right, so thank you to the three wise men. Thank you. For your gift. Your gifts. It's a very similar gift. All suggesting the same thing, but I like, I like, I like that. They're all gold.

Oh God, yeah. There it is. It's definitely like the Franken's sense and mirrored. Oh, fuck off. Franken's sense and mirrored can fuck off. In the bin. I knew Matt wanted to do it, I could feel it, but he's already told too many things to fuck off.

I think I might have done it before you. Anyway. Did you say fuck off? Oh, look. Let's let bargains be bargains. And so says all of us. All right. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Um, so, Krampus. Now historians are a little unsure as to the exact origins of the Krampus figure in folklore, but it's believed that like Santa, Krampus predates Christianity and stems from Norse and Alpine traditions and Germanic paganism. So Krampus, whose name is derived from the German word crumpen, meaning claw, is said to be the son of Hell in Norse mythology, H-E-L. And Hell is the ruler of Hellhome, which is the realm of the dead, and she's the youngest child

of the evil god Loki, and she's usually described as a horrible hagg. So she's like a little hagg. Hell is a hagg. She's a hagg. She's half alive and half dead. And heaven is a half pop. Hell is a hagg. Well, she's half alive, half dead.

Half alive, half dead. Which half, top of bottom. Good call. Her face and body are those of a living woman, but her thighs and legs are those of a corpse which are all like a mottled and unyuck. Terrible sex life. She'd have horrible sex. Would you prefer the other way?

Oh yeah, imagine. Dance tears, I'm ready to go upstairs, I'm rotting away. That's disgusting. Actually, it's all pretty gross, isn't it? Would you rather look down and- Yes, girls are lying. Yeah, I mean like neither are you good, are they? Well, I'm not trying to have sex with hell.

Okay, you bloody pervert. Jesus, Dave. Well, I wouldn't say no. But what I say yes. That's the question. Yes, I would. All right, cool. Now, Krumpus shares a lot of characteristics with other scary demonic creatures in Greek mythology as well.

So what does he look like? Look, I'm imagining, can we just have a guess? I'm imagining like, looks like Santa but with black hair. That's, so you're just thinking evil Santa, aren't you? Yeah, that's what, is another thing that he's going to do? Evil Santa, like sort of more like a black beard pirate type He's like a he's like a damn picture in a demon Matt's more Matt's more on the money Okay, you're just thinking bad Santa. There's no wrong answers to Christmas. Well, but Matt's at his right up

Christmas is there's more wrong answers than ever actually It's one of the weird it's one of the weird traditions It's kind of beautiful. So one time you can tell a child they're wrong. Yeah. Slam down there in a matchination. Slam it down and wind it all around. There we go. And as you go. Although Crampus appears in many variations, most share. Oh, so one of those variations with a black beard, okay? Incorrect. None of them. There's thousands and thousands. None of them with a black beard. Well, actually, every hair color except black.

He's very hairy. And the black hair. Yes, the common physical characters exist. That he's hairy, it's usually brown or black hair. He's got clove and hooves. Well, I was imagining that. And horns of a goat. Oh, no.

You were just thinking like Santa had gone through a midlife crisis and died his white hair blast. Yeah, and it was trying to look young again, but it was wearing like a jail style jumpsuit, like an orange one. That's what I was imagining. Like he's been in prison for years. You like him?

Well, I don't think that's what Krumpus looks like, but if that's how your imagination would like to take it, that is fine. Right. Okay. But he's actually, so he's hairy. He's hairy, he's got hoo take it. That is fine. Right. Okay. But he's actually so, he's hairy. His hairy has got hooves and he's got goat horns. He's poking out of his Santa hat.

No, there's no Santa hat. What? That was this evil Santa at all. You made up evil Santa. Copyright. Just as opposite of Santa. Which, yeah, it kind of leads you to think evil Santa. I'm not like that. The opposite of Santa is every Santa of leads you to think evil Santa I said the opposite of Santa is every Santa feature. He doesn't have that but it also makes sense no hat No clothes. Well, it's it's more to do with face what he does that makes him the opposite of Santa

No, okay, just let me do the report and we'll find out the reindeer ride him He goes up the chimney He goes up he rock climbs out of your chimney He gives kids milk This goes drops drops him off and goes up the chimney Oh, I love you crumpers fuck off. He steals from kids and gives to elves Yeah, that's right. He doesn't enslave elves like Santa. He gives him gifts.

No, he also has like a long pointy fork tongue that sticks out of his mouth. I suppose that's the opposite. Santa's normal tongue. And he has fangs. Oh, Santa doesn't have fangs. Yeah, so it sounds like a real mess this guy. Yeah, he's not. He has mess this guy. Yeah, it's moves

Snake face yep horn head horn. He's a big old horn. Is it any part of him? Is any part of him rotting? I don't think so no he's his midsection so he's fine. He's just his abs his side of legs They're rotting away. Yeah, he doesn't he doesn't work out. He's got to work on that call Yeah, use it lose it. He's lost it. It's death. Come on, crumbs. Well, what an out. Yeah, it's disappointing. It's definitely cannot crumple those at weeks. They're crumpling for crumpus. Crumpling for crumpus, another hashtag.

What's um, what accessories? Like if crumpus was like a Barbie doll, what accessories do you think he would try it? He thinks he holds a trident, Dave? Blacks in a hat. Yeah, blackslay. He's not just set it up at black. Black-brained is. Like dressed in black and no, he's not just set it to bit black. Black rain is. Like it dressed in black and no, he's not got set. Oh, the opposite of red is actually green. So you got a green flag. Which is also a pretty festive color. So people think he's nice and then they say that tango,

they're like, oh, it's a bit off. Put that away. Stop smiling. But his tongue isn't red, it's green. It's got a green tongue. You got a gangrenous green tongue. He's mouth is rotting. He's addicted to lime super duper's. Well who isn't in my room?

It's a good point. It's not the opposite of me on that school. You're not Santa. Does he have a... Wait, I was introduced to Santa. Up the top. You were. Did you take in that back? Yeah, I didn't do it.

I didn't do the intracur. Oh, you can't take it back then. Did I have a muscle, Santa? You bloody whatever you want a bit, Matt. I want to be Grampsus. Crumpus. Grampsus. Grampsus.

What's that Santa's dad? Grampsus. Fuck, he's old. Grampsus is dead. No. Crumpus. So it's a crumpus. Crumpus. Yes. And he's cramps, this is dead. No. So it's the crumpus. Yes.

Does he have accessories? Yes, that's what I'm asking. Oh, bangles. No, the bangles. He's a band with him at all times. He's a live-banging band. That's some reason. He carries chains.

They're thought to symbolize the binding of the devil by the Christian church. And he thrashes the chains for dramatic effect. I love that. I love an evil guy who's doing stuff for dramatic effects. And he's also sometimes like sometimes the chains have bells on them. Oh that's so fucking evil. A dramatic effect. So for like he's a guy who's trying to do bad stuff but he's going he's still thinking about the theater of it.

Oh yeah. So just do whatever the bad thing that you're gonna tell us about He sounds like a bat like a W. W. F. wrestler coming out on the bad boy here Chinky-chinky-chinky. Yeah, I'm gonna take out the hero. Oh, yeah Oh flames are coming out of the top. Well, I've got some heavy metal music. Check out that tattoo And then yeah, you the whales He's got Santa in a headlock exactly like Santa.'s Annie ready to go damn. This is really rehearsed You're going down for a three-count New York and I can hate them

Well, that is pretty that is said is very pro-wild pro-wild. So he's the opposite pretty well Luke the whales you the well not even for scientific research Just for fun. Yeah, the well in brackets for fun To be tattooed, but he's got big guns. I'm alright. I'm a bad boy. I ride a chopper I'm a really bad boy Shit All right cramp crumbs I'm a really bad boy. He doesn't shit. He doesn't... Oh, I crumpt. Crumpt. Crumpt says,

Hello, he tried too hard back then. Oh, he said shit for the vast majority of what we think about him is his stuff we've made up. Oh, I know for sure, he's got horns and some chains. I know, but the stuff that I've said about him, I'm just fucking crap. Get back on your bike. He sounds like the guy who goes into prison and everyone's like real scared of him,

but then really you could just like sort of punch him once and he'd be like, alright, you're the winner now. Yeah. Is that what I'm doing, prison? You're the winner now. Yes, prison many times. Have you? Gramps is always there.

He loves to go on tours. You went to the rock. I've been to prison many times. Have you? Gramps is always there. He loves to go on tours. You went to the rock. Yep. I've been to Alcatraz. I've been to the old Melbourne jail. You've done it all, kid. I've done it all. You've done it all.

I've been to the slammer. No, he's done time. He's done his job. 30 minutes in the queue to get in with Alcatraz. It's fucking out right this time. I booked my tickets online, still had to line up. Bullshit. Bloody bullshit. OK, well well you might like this then.

I reckon I will. One of the more, sorry, of the pagan origins of things that he has with him, the Routin, which are bundles of birch branches. No, I don't. I've changed my mind this guy's bad That Cromper's carries with which he occasionally swatts children with He's only on a special occasion With a burnt twig He hits him

Yeah, he hits him with a burnt twig Hey, that doesn't hit him he swatts Oh, do you say birch? Do you say birch or burnt? Birch Oh, like I thought he'd been roasting marshmallows and got the burnt stick and some hidden. And then he's poking kids away.

Fuck off Graham. Birch, classic child name Graham. Graham. He sounds kind of flamboyant. He's got chains, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, get away. Stop it! Well sometimes those branches are replaced by a whip.

Oh, I like it. It can be a little bit, uh, I think the whip. No, I'm just thinking of SNM Santa. Yeah. whip so you can be a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip is a little bit I think the whip It's not your mum's washing basket. By the way, did you used to do that with the washing basket? Oh, definitely. Oh, it's that. Love that. And like that would spill me the only way my mum could get me to carry the washing basket back

to the laundry. It's like, could I wear those on her? Oh, she's like, yeah, sure, I guess. I'm not OK. And by the way, the one who dresses cramps us in our house. I was a teenager when this was happening. It's like, look, my mum, I'm a turtle. I'm put her in my back. I'm not on my back. What a great kid, anyway.

So you're going to sack Orobasca on the back? Yeah, that's because he, basically, the point of Krampus and I'll talk about it a little bit more in a second anyway. But so you've got like St Nicholas who rewards the good children, but Krampus is like the opposite. So he's actually kind of a partner of St Nicholas, but he punishes the bad children, so he does the dirty work Yeah, so he's got this sack or basket with him and he's like takes naughty children off to hell basically That's pretty full on it's really for long. Yeah, you're getting an intender way

We're spending eternity in our total damnation So I maybe stop hitting your system, right? I'm sorry, but you felt sort of the good by 1%. So maybe you've got to go to hell forever. Sorry. But your sister now has two controllers. So, nobody play with, but still. Still.

But the battery's good, then on one. She's straight back up, playing tennis in no time. Yeah. Playing tennis. So exciting. Some reason she's playing tennis out in the backyard. They live in quite a big property but she just likes draining the batteries of the controllers. She's a maniac. I got the wrong guy!

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or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. So the feast of St. Nicholas is celebrated in parts of Europe on the 6th of December, and on the night before the 5th, it's Krumpus night or Krumpus Nors, I don't speak German, but it's Krumpus night. Nickd? I hate Dave's German because of all the Nazi stuff. Krumpus Natcht.

You just said that. I'm Mark Ok and welcome to Krumpus Natcht. I'm so sorry to do. Anybody who knows how to pronounce matched. I'm so sorry to anybody who knows how to pronounce that. So on that night, so the 5th of December, the Harry devil appears on the streets. Ooh! Harry devil. Harry devil.

Harry is so. So sometimes this is so good, this sentence is the best. So sometimes accompanying Saint Nicholas and sometimes on his own, Crumpus visits homes and businesses. You've been a bad lawyer. You said he was innocent, he fucking wasn't. I like the idea of him like, like, door knocking with his own business cards, like he's sort of trying to like,

and he won't go on here. Just visiting those businesses. Accountants are definitely going to hell in my run. Yeah, you guys are going to get bad kids. I'll take them away. I'll get them off your hands. I'll get them off your hands. I'll give you a good phrase.

I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase.

I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. I'll give you a good phrase. Hey, I know this sounds sus, but I know Santa. Yeah, we work in tandem. So Santa has approved this Yeah, he's approved this message to the kids in the van and I'll be on the way. Yeah, so unlike the With the kids in the van unlike the North American versions of Santa Claus or sort of like our version as well and probably the kind of

Universal common theme now In these celebrations, so the idea like I was kind of mentioning before St. Nicholas concerned and concerns himself with the good children while Krampus is responsible for the bad kids. So it does seem a bit like a handball. Yeah, totally. I do the good job. Yeah. So Nicholas gives out all the gifts while Krampus supplies coal and those bundles of branches. Wait, so he's giving coal or is he taking him away? Bit of both. Bit of both.

Okay. So he's like, well, he's used as well as like a way of making kids behave. So it's like, he's being used. Rompus. Oh no. This is disappointing. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry to disappoint you. As opposed to Santa who's not used to make kids behave at all, he'd been good to me. Well, maybe we needed a bad guy as well. Yeah. Some kids need a carrot, some need the stick. You know what I mean?

No, I don't at all know what you mean. Bit of a birch. You need a bit of birch in your life. Some kids. Some kids need carrot. know what you mean. Bit of a birch. You need to be a birch in your life. Some kids. Peck them in the eye. Some kids need carrot. What do you mean? Carrot of the stick.

It's like you either. Positive or important. The donkey, right? Oh, bait them. You try to lay the donkey along and you put the carrot in front of them. Yeah. That's the carrot gun.

Look, you get a carrot if you do a good thing. Good thing. Look, break it and wead, break it. You get the carrot if you do a good thing. And the stick is like, do it broken, you get the carrot if you do a good thing. And the stick is like, do it otherwise you get hit, dickhead. So it's like a negative, it's like on fear of the negative or possibility of the positive. What sort of kid do you think you are?

I was definitely a whatever, whatever it takes to please people. Hey, what do you want me to do, whatever you want? I'll have a carrot. Yeah do you want me to do whatever you want? I'll have the carrot. Yeah, you're going to need a carrot. Or stick, I'll eat the stick. If you like, I don't know. What do you want? Oh, that's kind of sad and sweet. Yeah, just a horrible, horribly sad child. Again, I can't imagine you guys as kids. Like in my head, you've just always looked the way you are, but different heights.

I can just imagine a really short mat and my guys a little mat. Yeah that's it. That's pretty much me. Be just slightly shorter at five. Yeah. Slightly. I'm a slightly longer at five somehow. I trimmed mine at five. Yeah you got a. Oh you messed. You got a treat yourself every now and then we get Ness L.C. Marston. Well, we talk about again. Yeah, the carrot. Oh, the stick. Yeah, right. I'm not really sure even what I'm like now. Probably I like positive. I like positive. Yeah. It's always better. I think so too. David, I think you're a stick kid. I got a got a bash. Yeah, I's always better. I think so too. David. I think you're a stick kid

I got a got a bash yeah, I'll be the both of you like the rule like the reward. Yeah But also I don't want to go back to jail Sure, I've been there too many times sure a punch Gramps this in the face. Mm-hmm. I ruled that place But now he wants me to get so I can't go back If I go back I'll have to chop a star get someone to chop my ears off so I can get out of there. Sure.

Luckily he's this sort of really horribly put together mix of hooves and haunt like you're there. You probably can't even hold back. You just walk down the street, slip and ensliding. Well you need one of those little cattle like tray things that they can't walk, that cows can't walk through. You put that around your driveway, he's fine. He's just sitting there at the front door going, come on.

I need to climb up your chimney, mate. Also, this is in Europe, a lot of cobbled streets. That must be hard on the hooves. That's probably why we so pissed off. Yeah. He's probably quite nice. He looks at his brother, Santa. As you and their brothers.

Are they brothers? No, no. But... Who is Santa's mum? I reckon it's the same guy. Oh, Santa is... It's like an altering. Yeah, yeah. Dr. Jackal and Mr. Dude. All right.

Mr. Santa. You have a hard... Dr. Santa and Mr. Crumpus. No? Yes. You have some kind. Dr. Santa and Mr. Crumpus. No? Yes. Okay. Dr. Santa and Mr. Crumpus. The Mr. Guys, the bad guy. Yeah, so that's fine in this case.

And the doctor is the good guy. Yes. Congratulations, you've read a book. I have not read that book. No, neither. But I've seen it. But it's the one where it is. You've seen the League of Extraordinary General.

So, I see in that short corner. Short corner, I've seen that. the one where you seem league of extraordinary general eyes in that Sean Connery. Yeah, I've seen that Good to be awful. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's bad. Okay. I Think I liked it. I don't know. Okay. What do you like? Now I've never seen it. I as a kid. I thought it looked like it would be good as a kid. It's not that old isn't it old? No, no, that was a 90s movie. Yeah, it's a 90s movie. So you're 90s. Yeah Was it like the pretty sure I? Remember being excited about you looking up. Yeah, I want to look it up because he's retired now. He's old. She won't come right Yeah, hasn't been in a movie for quite

Yeah, I want to look it up because he's retired now. He's old. She won't come right? Yeah, it hasn't been in a movie for quite My guess would be I'm gonna say 98 I reckon I actually think oh 2000 2000, what do you say 98? That's what yeah 2000. Yeah, it's 2007 It's free. It's not always so do you know Davis three years old? Yeah. I was five years off. A little baby boy. I mean, I quite liked that movie, I think. Who else is in it? Oh mate, Stuart Townsend, he plays Dore and Gray. Jason Fleming, who's in Lockstalk and two smoking barrels.

Is it a comic book? Shane West is in it. Oh Richard Roxbury, isn't he Australian? Yeah, he is. Right, yeah, isn't that Shane West is in it. Oh, Richard Roxbury's in his Australian night. Yeah, he is. Right, yeah, I was going to say he's in it in the past. He's Richard. Don't leave it in. Don't be being in it.

Clevver Grains in the show of some reason. Anyway. All right, good break. So another part of the celebrations, I guess, are Crumpus Carton, which is like families traditionally exchanged colorful greeting cards called Crampus Carton, which is like family's traditionally exchanged colorful greeting cards Called Crampus Carton since like the 1800s and they featured some sometimes silly Sometimes sinister compass. Wait, what how is he silly? What is a bloody wiki?

Right, but sometimes he's because people I think people kind of like him So I was gonna ask is he I see pop easy Even though he's stolen some of your kids But they're shit. They're shit kids. He takes the bad kids. It's like so I'll be kind of nice if like some of the bad kids in my primary school just disappeared over some of hot days Do you know I mean? I? Think I do. Yeah, I mean you said what I mean? I think I do. I mean, you said I kind of wish someone the kids had died. I wanted some of them to have been taken out and abducted and died.

They're not dead. They're just in the present day. I just want them to be in hell forever. Go to hell literally, you know. Yeah, right. Like that. Anyway, in the early 20th century, Crumpus was actually prohibited by the Austrian fascist government, but the tradition was revived again with the fall of the government after World War II.

Dave, what do you have to say about that? Hmm, I have no ties to Austria or whatsoever. Interesting. But I mean Hitler does, he was born there, so you sort of do that. He is your God after all. Oh, no, in no way, in no way. I mean, you sympathize with him as you got sympathize them. Oh boy. Oh boy. Do you sympathize with a god? I don't think so. I don't think so. Mate, you're telling the story.

Okay. So he was banned for about 45 years. Yeah, so um yeah, so and then he kind of came back, which is sort of cool. And they usually have- I'm back, baby. The rise of Crumpus. They've usually got like rhymes or poems in them. Crumpus is often featured sort of like looming menacingly over children. He's also shown as having one human foot and one cloven hoof. Oh, what would you rather?

One human foot one Clothing or two cloven you want to the same Yeah, but I mean it depends like Our human foot's better for if you want to kick a footie around or just feel like sand at the beach That's nice and yeah, cuz the hoof is one big toenail And it goes all the way around. So weird. And they're like, the other toes are sort of like weird,

tripled up things inside of that or something. It's really weird, what a hoover. Is that only thing I want to be a part of that? Okay. Is chopping off my hooves an option? Is two feet an option? No. Never.

What about the chopping off the hooves? Yeah. What, so you just have like two- Like two- Two- And then I get prosthetic feet. no, never. What about the chopping off the hooves? Yeah, what, so you just have like two subs? Two subs, and then I get to the feet. Yeah, yeah, human ones. Yeah, this sounds like you've earned that, I reckon. So I'll give you that. I'll let you have that.

And can technology be around to just find our old feet and put them back where they put them in the first place? Hmm. Well, suppose someone's already taking them off and replacing them with hooves, so we just can troll Zed or something. Maybe just never put them off, never put the hoots on, just leave my feed line. Is that an option? Is that an option?

Yeah, that was option number one. Did I skip over that? Yeah, you did. I did that a lot, and I've pissed off a lot of people. So option number one is keep your feed. Keep your feed. I've accidentally just figured many pieces of legs. Why not give them that option? Because they chose option B, which is one of legs. But I'm not giving that up.

Because they chose option B, which is one of each. Ah, Dave. By accident. Oh, no. It's less to reverse in the one of each scenario, at least. On the broad side, if you're looking for a silver lining, if anyone out there is sitting there looking down at there. I'm so sorry.

I should have. It cut off the contract. It cut off that question. Yeah. It's easy. It's easy the contract. It cut off that question. Yeah. It's easy. It's easy to forget. It's okay. I reckon insurance will cover it. Podcast insurance.

Wait, we did take that out, don't we? Yeah, I thought you were doing it. We're in tune for several million dollars. If one of us goes missing, if the golden consoles were to disappear, we should fake our undeads, that's what I'm saying. We really should. Stop saying that while we're recording. Oh no, what? Let's talk about that in our meeting. Is this not what we're doing? Have you been recording these to private conversations?

Yeah, for a year now. Oh no, I've said some terrible things. Yeah, you have about Nazis. How much you love them? Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Oh God, I hope you at least edit some things out. Do you? Yeah, anything bad that I say. Fair enough. So, he's, Krumpus is shown like, like attacking, not attacking, but just like being like a little bit of some children right? Sometimes he's shown in a nice way, but still hovering. No, but sometimes in a nice way, but still hovering. No, but sometimes he has sexual overtones. What? He's pictured pursuing women, bucksome women.

Oh. Um-hmm. And over time, the representation of compass in the cards has actually changed. Older versions are much more frightening, kind of menacing. Well, modern versions have like a cuter, more cupid-like creature. So people kind of like him. He's like a little bit cute Why still serving the evil purpose? I still scared in kids. Yeah, do do what I do it be good kid or I'll sleep with your mom

All right Suppose I'll be good. Well, probably could have just offered me an intender way to be good My mom is lonely. Oh, this is tough. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, this isn't really a threat. You look like you own good money. Yeah, probably put a high-profile gig.

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess the bullies at school would probably leave me alone. All right, all right, dad. All right. Welcome to the family. You can have mom. That's awful.

You guys are fucked. Can we go play catch? Do you have kids? He doesn't have kids. It does now. Oh, it sounds like he's really getting out there. That's a real sitcom too. I hate crumpets doing his job.

Oh no, it's been stepped on. But the father's so more. She had stuff. She had fun. She was there. That's actually became the crampus. Oh, Mr. Crampus. MMMM. Now do Michael Cain as many fine.

Hello, I'm Michael Cain. Mr. Sheffield. I'm in love with you but I won't reveal it for about eight seats. Pretty good. I'm bored. It's beautiful. You really nailed it there. Thank you. So more on that, on Krumpus night. So it was December 6th. We've missed it. Well December 6th is St. Nicholas Day. December 5th is Krumpus night.

So it's a night before. So if you get through Krumpus night, you know you're going to get a present. But if you're dead, if you're in hell, then you're probably, it's a bad. Yeah, if you wake up on December 6th and you're in hell, you're dead, if you're in hell, then you're probably, yeah, it's a bad. Yeah, if you wake up on December 6 and you're in hell, you're like, oh, no, this is not go well. This is not a good sign. It's not so good. I'm not giving up all hope.

I still want that Nintendo. And kids nowadays might leave out like Santa Sacks is what I had all like stockings. This work in the days, back in the day, German children would look outside their door to see if the shoe or boot they left out for the night contained either presence or a rod. What do you mean a rod? You were saying that a bit more. Or just a rod, just a rod, just a rod, just a rod, just a rod, just a rod, a rod, stew it. Or a rod stew it a rod stew it or let's do it best off

How about being bad? Oh I've been really bad. I've been really bad. That's the worst time. But what does it have this? The great American songbook volume three It is probably if you leave your boot out you got to check it the next morning to see if there is a buddy spider living in there. That's true. No, no. People are all, there was, like, God, how do you live in Australia?

There's so many things that it can kill you, but it's like, well, I live in the city. None of those things are here, but you do have to check shoes for spiders. Yeah, I've never done that. But do you leave them outside? Always. Boots. boots boots got a sad You wear boots for champ Hey, I wear them for all the hard work you do a hard yaka. Oh It's all about hard. Yeah, I've got a pair of blunnies that I do wear from time to time when I'm getting things done

But do they ever you never check, you never check for spiders? Never check for spiders. You're an idiot. That's very stupid. Well, they're just, when is that happening? You put your foot in there, the spiders dead. One time. The only thing you do is check so you don't kill the spider.

No, one time. Yeah, one time. One time I had been out on my boogie board all day and I left my wetsuit hanging on over the veranda. Oh, this sounds gonna be a harrowing story. Next day, another beautiful summer day in Australia and so I went... It's Australia. It is sure, so I want to do some more boogie boarding. Grab my wetsuit, Huntsman.

Where? Like on it, in it. When you're wet, you put it on it. I hadn't put it on yet. Oh. Pick it up, Huntsman. Scman screamed. I bet you never book you bought it again Huntsman's then I'm then I'm bad. I think it's the hairy ones. But they big. Yeah, I think they're cool. No I want to move around me get Huntsman's around anyway, can I I've I've done that's not boots by the same I know I'm just saying like check your shit if you leave me in a time

There was a Huntsman on a wetuit. You should always check your boots exactly. Do you understand morals at all? Marles of stories Have you got any morals? You got morals you'll check your bloody wetsuit you'll check your shoes and you'll shut up about it You'll do what we all do, right? You want a crumbus to come around and sort you out? Do shoes and you'll shut up about it. You'll do what we all do, all right? Do you want a crumbus to come around and sort you out? Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you?

Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you? So, by the way, although parts of Germany sell about Crampus, to celebrate, Crampus, other regions have Belschnickle. I like it too. Is it similar? Sort of character.

Kind of, but I think Belschnickle is kind of similar. Frances Hans Trapp and the Netherlands has the controversial Zwart Piedt or Black Piedt. Are we talking about him? Yeah, I can't about that last year. They came together on the tugboat from Spain. From Spain, yeah. From Spain to the Netherlands. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Yeah, and it's a little bit controversial because people dress up in black face. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Come on, guys. Anyway, so all of these... You can hear more about that. Yeah, that was into the last years episode

So these figures all kind of date back to pagan celebrations of December 22nd, which is the longest night of the year that were then later adopted for Christmas so Together with the Krampus like figures and the Bishop that is St Nicholas with the Krampus-like figures and the bishop that is St Nicholas, they held kind of a judgement day for children. Wow. Like the punishments were being naughty were much more severe than a lump of calls. This is when they would like, because now you'd be like, Take my eyes, but don't give me cold no more don't give me something that I could warm my poor little life It is funny. It's like a it's a fine art precious resource Well, I know but would you be that happy with it if I that's what I gave you for Christmas? Because that's what I bought you for Christmas. Yeah, you can't turn that you cannot then we'll not take it back

No, they had no refunds balls black. Black, black or brown, Carl. Brown. Brown. That's not good. I don't know. Way to be ungrateful. Oh. Um, manufacture. What have I ever heard?

Manufacturers started to commercialize Crampus after 1890. Oh, can you just say what sort of punishment they were getting? Oh, no, that's sort of, I mean, like it, rather than it being, because like Santa, if you're bad bad You'll have a lump of coal It this was further back where the punishments were worse So it would have been like throw you off a bridge or something No would've been like in the sack in the in the basket off to hell we got all like death or some of the stories are really dark

But now it's just time to see this guy's not like Santa at all Well, yeah, he's evil Now it's just time to see the hell with you. Off the day hell with you. Not like Santa at all. Well, he sounds like he's evil. Look, those horns just did not give it away for early. Yeah, yeah. So, after 1890, the Austrian government relinquished control over the nation's postcard production. So before that, all right, the government. The government controlled all of the postcards. If you control the postcards postcard production. So before that, all right, the government controlled

all of the postcards. If you controlled the postcards, you control the world. Right. They thought that was their theory for every use. It did not happen. It didn't work, so they gave that up. And then the postcard industry flourished.

And people would give out sort of like cards we were talking about before. But there was cards for kids, which featured images of a scary, crampumpus frightening children beating them, taking them away usually in like a sack or something on his back. It sounds like it really flourished. Yeah, it was, well. But then in like 1903 or 1904, adult cards also began to appear and I don't mean like X-rated,

but I just mean like cards that show, showed that Krumpus was punishing adults as well. Or they'd show him as like a silly figure carrying women away, or even as a romantic suit. Oh silly. He's just been so silly. He's just put a woman in a basket. He's just abducting women. Silly Krumpus. Yeah.

How silly. What a silly boy. Assulting women. Yes. The silly boy. Sounds a bit silly. Anyway, a more modern take on the tradition in Austria, Germany, Hungary, Slovenia and the Czech Republic involves drunken men dressed as devils who take over the streets. Take over the streets for Krumpus laugh, which is a Krumpus run when people are chased through the streets by the devils. So in Austria and part of Germany

people still dress up as Krumpus to scare children on this Krumpus night. It does look horrible not to be a child. Like they did in the 19th century, but the crumpus run, where the men get drunk and run through the streets, is obviously mainly for the adults, so it's less so to do with the children. I'm picturing them with those bibs, you know, with a numbness on them, as a salon as a gun.

They've trained all year. They just leave one kid on the street, they just all check. They'll chase the one kid. Please. Oh. It's like's like 2000 people. Crompsises. 2000 cr-crum-c-crum-c-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum-crum is actually more similar to the older type of American Christmas before the holiday became more focused on kids and presents for kids, because apparently according to Stephen Nissenbaum, who's the author of the Pulitzer Prize nominated book The Battle for Christmas, apparently he says, for most people before the 1800s, Christmas was not a domestic quiet holiday.

It was a holiday that was characterized by boy stress revelry. It was sort of like a combination of Halloween and New Year's Eve and Mardi Gras. Oh, I bet they fucking got really great Christmas sounds so fun back then Yeah, and then it became all about kids and presents and salmon and salad Well, I mean, I love you family listen by chance. That's right. Oh, I hope they will so that's funny put a bloody bird in the oven So at least I could do. Bird and the oven. Check out Bird and the oven.

Crumbs is wood. Right, so Christmas used to be this big crazy party. Christmas used to be good. Christmas used to be fun. Well, these early celebrations often involved. Well, they did chase children through the streets. Well, less so. But these early celebrations involved costumed mummers who went from door to door demanding alcohol and threatened to make trouble

if they didn't get it. And like kids today do a water down version when they go trick or treating on Halloween. Gives a drink and I'll fuck up your house. Fuck, British. So yeah, now. And what a door as well. Yeah, it's like the ultimate pub crawl. How much you need? You get three full asses down. You're like, oh, I'm breaking into a lot down. Apparently they sort of, like they're banging on the doors

and the customers that you ask for, snaps. Do you have some snaps? You're just drinking a lot of snaps. Snaps. Any snaps is probably too snaps. Snaps. Any snaps is probably too much. Agreed.

One time I was just doing shots at my friend's house of butter scotch snops. Cocksoaking cowboys? No, not even. No, that is. I think so, but something else. That's that one, Bailey's. That's that one, Bailey's. But this is just the snaps, because that's what we had.

And did that not end well? Mmm. Would you describe it more of a Santa star night or a Crompsus star night? I haven't said the words cock-socking cowboys in a long time. That's a weird name. Yeah, when you said it I also thought, I don't know that in New Ireland.

Yeah, it was crazy. Why is there a real 18 year old out of school? Yeah. Shot to have. Now we were drinking sex on the beach at that time. Oh wow. Which is just like, cause I just vodka and cranberry juice.

No, sorry, I'm thinking wet pussy's, wet pussy shots. Look, I've never heard of this. It's disgusting. Yeah, alright. I've had a wet pussy shot. Glad I put the word shot there. Glad I did. I've heard a wet pussy.

No, I've had one. I'm gonna have a shot. Oh good. How do you drink shot? I'm shotting with a straw. Are you sipping shots? Oh that's a wet pussy shot. Anyway I've never had the word shot. That is my report on crumpets basically. Oh three years for crumpets. For crampus. Crampus. What are you sort of cheering it? I mean chanting him. Crampus is a bit in the Crampus.

Crampus. Crampus. How do you spell Crampus? K-R-A-M-P-U-S. It looks like crampus. Is it crampus? No, I looked it up and people were calling it crampus. Really? And what was this movie that we told her I'd never heard It's called crampus who's in that? Adam Scott and Tony Collette what the golfer yeah the golfer Adam Scott he's filmed Tony Collette the golfer No, it's Adam Scott an actor as well Adam Scott from Parks and Recreation who's you playing in Parks and Rec? Ben

Oh, I actually do know that they share the name I've come across Yeah, he's great. I love Adam Scott Tony Collette. See you know the stuff. I've only ever seen Park some right here What's that show about that they were like a They organized parties Yeah, I know that I know exactly what we're talking about like I remember the name now wedding crashes Yeah, he's in wedding crash. Yeah, he know that I know exactly what we're talking about. I remember the name now. Wedding crashes. Yeah, he's in wedding crashes. Yeah, Huey's kitchen adventures. Anyway.

Oh, I would love to see a photo of Cramses. Okay. I can arrange that for you. I reckon it'll be on this pod right now. And actually, I think we should also, we'll tweet out, I think, a few, the many faces of Cranches. Yes. Like the sexual one. The one where the one where is like, you know, scary. The one where is a bit of a cupid and everyone's like, oh, this is fun. Yeah,

cool. And then he's kidnapped several kids this week. We'll find some, we'll find some alternatives. Yeah, that's right. So that really weird. I'm sorry. some alternatives. So yeah, that's my report. That's my Christmas themed report. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. And to all a good Christmas.

All right guys, before we sign off on this Christmas edition of Do Go on, there's only one thing left to do. And that is to wish a very Merry Christmas to all of you, but specifically some names that we'll read of Patreon supporters. If you support our podcast through Patreon you can get some exclusive extras including a brand new car. Definitely not a car. We buy each of you a car. Carmen, not exactly exist. Well, of car you are will buy it for you anything. The sky is the limit for our car You can get an extra episode. We will do a shout out for you and The Christmas cards if you did sign up are on their way. They're in the mail as we speak. So hopefully they'll make it to you

Before Christmas, maybe but if you're overseas, we promise it on their way. And next year we might send them even earlier. Yes, it's a good idea. But they're great, they look great. They look really great and you get to love them anyway. They love my toe print. Because Christmas, like the spirit of Christmas and just like general goodwill,

is applicable all year round. So if it doesn't arrive to January, it's like you're welcome, do you know what I mean? And a lot of ways it's good to stretch? I think so Christmas at absolutely And just like good will and like just positive thoughts for people if I got a Christmas card two days after Christmas You'd sit fire to it. I would set fire to it. It's curious and me and the house I was in and the sender Yeah, yeah, well you might the my vessel

you could just do it all in one yeah what if you got a new card two days after Christmas a new card a new card a second Christmas card we would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to three Patreon supporters that we are going to think now Matt I'd love to thank if I can and I think I can. Please. You just, I mean, in so many ways you just asked me to. That was your introduction. So I'm gonna do it. Here we go. Everyone ready? Oh my God. I'd really love to wish a very merry Christmas. Someone who's quite special to me. A Christmas. A Christmas. A Christmas.

Megan Ansel, I hope you get everything to me. A Christmas. A Christmas. May I a Christmas? Megan Ansel, I hope you get everything you ever wanted this Christmas. What do you think Megan wants? What's the number one on the list? Because you are the center of the podcast. You would know. Well, pace.

Well, pace. Well, pace. I think that's more of a, what's it? What's his name? Cramsus. Cramsus, sort of thing. No, Megan. Megan.

Cramsus. He has a made a new person megan Ansels she she'd love world peace but she doesn't believe that it's possible in the short term She's trying to be more realistic sure and she just wants you know Peace in her Immediate surrounds so I was like 15 20 meters around her no fights. Oh wow That's lovely. Yeah, and that's what I'm gonna give her It's always like 15 20 meters around her no fights. Oh wow. That's lovely. Yeah, and that's what I'm gonna give her.

Oh cool. I just remembered I'm Santa. And that is all yours, me. What you're gonna do is just build her like this bubble. Yeah. So you're giving her like one of those zorb balls. Oh, sick. So you're just going down the shore.

No, no, no, no, no. You can't see it, you can't feel it. She's not zorbing. That's for sure. Sick, that's cool. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noorbing. I'm like, I think I know where you go with this. Santa just takes a few liberties. What do you really mean there mate? Yeah, you've been very clear and I will now misinterpret. Well good luck zorbing me again. Yeah good on you. Yeah thanks so much me again. You're a bloody good damn bloody mother fucking legend. You're a bloody awesome, you're a zorbing legend. Merry Christmas. Fucking legend, you bloody awesome. Here's the Zorban legend. Merry Christmas.

Christmas. Christmas. I would also really like to wish a Merry Christmas to somebody who much like share a del and print. Prince, thank you. Beyonce. Only needs one name. Pink.

Britney Spears. Damn it. Britney Huffins Beers. need one name pink Britney Spears Britney hyphen Spears Just one name just one name and I want to wish a really Wonderful and prosperous Christmas and New Year to our dear friend Maxwell She feels oh just Maxwell Max just just Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell's a great guy. I was spoken to him on on the emails a couple times and does he just just Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell Maxwell great guy

I've spoken to him on on the emails a couple times and does he just go by Maxwell Just Maxwell I like it and you're up. He's only Maxwell on me. It's hard to you really have to get in early If you're gonna do that though, I think make like I couldn't do I couldn't just be Dave. Oh, who'd you see last night Dave? Which one mate the movie Dave the movie the night he Kevin time some kind of president to the looks identical to what's the movie recently I've ever seen it despite being named after that film that's a fun named after that movie it was made after you champ my parents saw the screen plan thought it was gonna be a big hit yeah no before that movie came out you're actually called Kevin and then that movie came out, you were actually called Kevin. And then that movie came out, they were like,

change his name. Change. He's now Dave. I am. I don't know, Kevin. Kevin suits you, though. But thank you, Max Well. Yeah, thank you, Max Well.

And Mary Quiche-Mish. Hey, before we go on to Dave's, I just remember, you know how we always mispronounce people's names? Yep. A little while ago, we were calling someone Piet. Mm-hmm. I found out that it's Pete. But not, not, not, not, not, not through fault of us.

Yeah, I, I, I was through fault. Well, I mean, we mispronounced the name. Who's fault? I think I might have been misspelled. No, no, I was, that's how it's spelled. He can't spell Pete P-I-E-T. You can. And she has. Her parents like the name. No, actually the story is that her dad's favorite uncle's name was Pete and he decided he was calling her or the kid Pete Boyle girl. Turned be a girl so they found a Pete that was

Oh that's quite nice and I found it was like a poet look I'm misremembering the story I read the other day but it's a very good story. Well my little nickname for Pete is actually P.E.E.T. so really I was really quite an astribute to one of my favorite listeners. P.E.T. A.K.P. Yeah cool great. Love you Pete.A-P. Yeah, cool. Great, saved it. Love you, Pete. Saved it. Saved it. So I saved that? Yeah, nailed it.

Well, and, well, I'm going to extend the thank yous to a third one. Interesting. As we always do. Wow. And we should very Merry Christmas to a great listener, and I hope he's going to have himself a Merry Little Christmas. Let your heart be light. Next year all our troubles will be out of sight. He's gonna do this. Don't have yourself a Merry little Christmas. And that is John Titus. Thank you John. John Titus.

Did John give us a topic one week, Hurricane? Yeah, Hurricane might have. I like John. I like John. I like the Cater John's Ghib. Me too. Yeah, me too. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, John. And to the whole Titus clan. Better Titus, knowing us. I know, it's Titus. And it's Jha-Hon. Jha-Hon Titus. Oh. Oh. No, it's a tittus and it's johon johon tittus. Oh No, yeah luck maxwell's the exeson my well my well. I give my well What are you giving John for Christmas Dave? I'm giving you a piece. Oh

Dave Dave Well, can your gift in be to not give him a present this time around? You filthy fellow. I would be handling the postcards that were sending with gloves, because Tinio could be contracted from my to a friend. I didn't know. No, that's not true at all.

I've got a macular face. I mean, I'm going to be tweeting out photos to prove how nice they are But you worry John Titus was with me. You know John so defensive no Yeah, I got immaculous face. It's any part of my body could be a model. It's my feet Wow, I could be a foot model. Wow Could be a foot model my hands. Is anything is anyone out there knows? What is? Or is some sort of foot model manager for the stars? Please get in contact. Maybe it's you. John

Titus. Maybe ears. Maybe I could be an ear model. I mean I've got headphones on right now you can't see them but trust me. No, I'm not in a way. I mean models, full body models, they wear clothes. That's how they sell on the clothes right? So if you're an ear model you're probably earrings and I have my ears pierced or massive head face but I mean you could have no ears under there. I'd be none the wives. You've seen me before I've got ears. I saw those headphones. Have I? Have I seen your ears? I do always have my hair out you know maybe none of these maybe like a bird and there's just like a whole flap there. Oh, a whole flap. A whole flap, not part of a flap.

Like a butterfly and I taste with my feet. And that tastes good. It tastes good. Oh my god. That's mean, I feel like I'm sad it's every week, but this has been a weird episode. Yeah, it's been really loose and I'm sorry. But guys, we're in all seriousness. I think we should sign off by saying we wish you all a very happy holiday period, Merry Christmas, wherever you are.

Thank you so much for listening for another year. But book, we will have another one in for this year because it comes out on the Wednesday. So yeah, this is the second last episode of the year. That's crazy. And crazy. And it's a little favor to me because I'm going to be eating my Christmas shitty salmon, my shitty salad. If you could tweet us a photo of yourself on Christmas with your food or your presents or whatever. That would be really cool wherever you are in the world. And actually, you better tweet your shitty salmon. I will. Especially there's peas and gravy people out there. I want to get to I want to I just want to

all get together as a community of peeing gravy guys. Yep. And gas. Guys and gas. Don't think I'm ruling anyone out. Hey, based on some sort of old school gender line. I'm not. old school gender line. I'm not. I want to see you Christmas lunch. Yeah, what have you got? I want to say it. Well dinner or brunch. Whatever you do with your fan. Breakfast?

I don't know. All right. We do like dinner on Christmas Eve, just with my immediate family and then I go to my grandmothers Christmas Day. All right, okay. I think they've had enough. Just going to tweet pictures of me holding like various champagne glasses. Just gets drunk throughout the day.

Oh yeah. Is that just for tradition? No, but I'm gonna start one. No, this one. Well, from all of us here at Dugo1 and Cramsus himself. Cramsus. We would just like to say... How are talking about him?

Mary. Mary Krish. Mary. Krish. Mary, Krish, me. Oh, whylers. Bye. Bye. Ender and mild.

Sleep in heavenly peace. Sleep in heavenly peace. Merry Christmas. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify

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