Doug Loves Movies - Adam Burke, Reena Calm and Dan Amesquita guest
Episode Date: May 6, 2018Live from Zanies in Rosemont, IL, Doug welcomes Adam Burke, Reena Calm and Dan Amesquita to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://a...rt19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody. The first minute or so of this show did not get successfully recorded.
Somebody didn't press the right button or something.
So I'm just going to walk you through what you missed. I said, my name is Doug and I love movies.
Then everybody sang at me. This is Doug loves movies. And then I said, coming to you once again
from Zanies in a business park in Rosemont, Illinois. That's right. We're O'Hare
adjacent. It's Saturday, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo, 2018. May I see some name tags? And then we
started talking name tags. And that's where we will join the show now in progress.
May I see some name tags?
Oh, goodness.
Well, Christine Candles wins the blocking all the other name tags award.
That's a good one.
I like that.
Inskiption.
And your name's Skip?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Is this your first name tag?
Yes.
Yes?
Okay.
Because the name Skip, I bet you you could have some fun with that.
But Inskiption is good.
The Ben Skolnick story?
Gifted hands.
So you took a movie about Ben Carson?
Noted black man?
And then replaced it with Ben Skolnick?
Noted, are you noted?
Yeah, semi-noted white person?
But that's really, I don't know how to describe that to the listeners
can you stand up and show the whole room what you're doing?
it's fucking weird
so yeah so his own face is in the poster.
It's pretty amazing.
We've got More American Greg Feedy.
Fair enough.
Which of course, IMDB in the trivia for More American Greg Feedy
says it's comedian Doug Benson's favorite movie.
This is not true.
I'm not on the record as having any favorite movie, but it is certainly not More American
Greg Fiti.
Then we got Once Upon a Time in Alexico.
Alex, good job.
You've won the prize bag before, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I don't know about you coming back and competing again.
And then here's a dude that was here yesterday
with the Mr. Smith goes to Rosemont sign.
And now you put your name on it.
Oh, you went to work last night.
Frank what?
What's your name?
Brian?
Brian?
what what's your name Brian but says Frank now Oh Frank Capra's I get it okay all right oh my god so many good name tags you guys thank you so much for
participating good luck to everybody.
Only three of you will be chosen.
I've got a guest on the show tomorrow.
He gets nervous about
the name tag selection part.
He's like,
I don't want everybody mad at me for not
picking their name tag.
I almost lapsed into an impression.
Alright.
Doug Plugs, we're back here tomorrow, again at 420,
with two of your favorite guests,
plus one more to be determined,
because today's winner is moving on to tomorrow's show.
I should have ran that by all the competitors
before committing them to that concept,
but what the fuck are they going to have to do on a Sunday
the day after the Kentucky Derby?
I mean, that's when we all just need to, you know, take a breather.
This coming Monday night, May 7th,
I'm doing stand-up at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky.
Sunday, May 13th, I'm doing my annual Mother's Day,
Doug Loves Movies at Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado at 420.
Oh, and Doug Loves Movies is back in L.A. at UCB Franklin on Tuesday, May 8th.
For all my dates and dates and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com.
Yeah!
Denver!
I think that's going to be a thing now.
There's always one guy
that has to throw in an extra thing.
And I'm serious.
It's going to be a man every time.
It's not some lady
planning, oh, I'm going to yell out,
right?
You know what I mean?
That, see,
ladies do that,
spontaneous yell outs.
I don't think they sit
and think about it
and hatch a yell out plan.
Just fucking happens
because they're taken over
by emotions.
Men are cold,
calculated assholes.
Yeah, hashtag me agree too.
Oh shit, I forgot to get this guy.
Last night we had a dude who technically did not win the Last Man Stanton.
Another gentleman bested him, but it was a mistake on my part.
But he's here today anyway.
And he told us his last name last night,
and I've forgotten and didn't ask him
when he walked in just now.
So we'll fix this in post.
I'll just leave a space where I can say his name.
Please give it up for...
Please give it up for...
Rina Calm, Dan, and Adam Burke! Thank you!
Hi! Rina!
Hi.
All right.
Let's say hello to our... We got two guests on the show today
that have never done the show before.
So let's chat with them first.
Starting with, directly to my left,
a Chicago comedy phenom.
It's Rena Calm, everybody.
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
The last name Calm, that must
rile some people.
People probably have little
jokes about it all the time.
Yeah, it's really fun in customer service situations.
Where you're like, I'm trying.
Remain calm. Remain calm.
Remain you.
Well, it feels horrible when you call to tell somebody something terrible about their business.
They're like, what's your name?
We're like, calm.
Takes a lot of weed to live up to, you know?
All right.
Well, that's only fair.
And you are familiar with this program, so you kind of know what's going to happen today?
Yes.
All right.
Because it's always weird when somebody comes on, they really don't know anything about it.
They're continually surprised.
Like, were you standing in the back when everybody held up their name tags?
No, I was not.
So you haven't seen this yet?
I have not, no.
Do you see how it just looks like a normal room of people?
Yeah.
Just sitting in the darkness with some purple
and occasionally a bluish looking light.
I'm always skeptical.
When I say, show us your name tags,
there's going to be suddenly,
the room is just going to be filled with posters and color.
It's overwhelming, yeah.
I'm glad you're already fanning yourself
because it makes us all feel like Southern Bells
when everybody works that hard to get our attention.
So good luck with that part and all of it,
and thank you for being here today.
Now, also, we've got a guest here who I...
Spell your last name, Dan.
It's spelled A-M-E-S-Q-U-I-T-A.
Okay, now, for real, how do you spell it? S-M-E-S-Q-U-I-T-A Okay now for real
So how do you spell it?
S-M-I-T-H
No it's A-M-E-S-Q-U
Q-U is right
I-T-A
I-T-A
Amoskeet
Amoskeeta
God damn it
Amiskita
Alright so we're going to have to drop that
into when I introduce you at the top of the show
but it'll sound really professional and no one will know
that we did that except for the fact that I'm
saying we're doing that
so
apologies to
Dan Amiskita
Excellent thank you Slapped my arm and somebody will go So apologies to Dan. Amosquita.
Excellent.
Thank you.
Slapped my arm and somebody will go, what happened?
I just got bit.
By what?
Amosquita!
All right.
That's all we need to know about you.
No, it's Dan Amosquita, everybody! Hey!
Not since Demi Adjibay, is there a better name that's more challenging for me?
And you won last night, and I'm putting won in quotes because we played Last Man Stanton.
We played Kristen Wiig was the topic, which is a tough one.
I was having trouble remembering.
She's got a lot of small parts in a lot of movies.
Audience members decided to start screaming out Bridesmaids at one point,
which was, oh, aren't you smart?
Oh, you can remember the most famous movie she's done
and then yell it out when you're not supposed to?
Good for you.
But you snuck one by me, Dan,
because Dan says dinner for schmucks.
Yes, I did.
I know, and the person in the eyes
had just said,
no, you were not here
last night, clearly.
Because the entire crowd
was like,
we're fine with this.
We all think she was in it.
And so I fell for it.
And that's how Dan
ended up winning.
So I didn't feel like
I could take away the win
because it wasn't his fault,
and it was actually kind of clever
because I believe I even asked a follow-up question,
like, are you sure or something?
Nope.
I didn't? I just moved right on?
I'm pretty sure, yeah.
Okay, because you heard me last night.
A lot of people, I'd be like, are you sure?
Yeah, they started doing that after I already left the stage,
so I just kept on walking.
Oh, yeah, no, the guy that should have won Mike, shout out to him
He went right back to his seat
Looked it up and went
She's not into universe mugs
And the whole audience could hear him
So now I'm just the game show host
Who just gave the win to the wrong guy
And then just left it
I was just like, well, sorry who just gave the win to the wrong guy and then just left it.
I was just like, well, sorry, dude.
I said Dan was the winner.
I'm sorry.
So he's got to be the winner.
Yeah, so thanks for participating, though, and good luck today.
Also joining us, this is his 14th time on the show.
I don't know, something like that. It's Adam Burke, everybody.
Hey, Doug.
Hey, everyone.
Hey, Dan.
Hey, Rena.
Yeah, you know everybody on the show today.
Yeah, I do, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I don't even know Dan.
You were here last night.
I know Dan's a filthy cheat, but beyond that, I don't know that much about him.
You know, filthy cheat, except for maybe Trump tweets, nobody says that anymore, and I love it.
Say as many old-fashioned things as you can today.
And I'd appreciate it.
Adam, of course, is a stand-up comic based in the Chicagoland, and he has been, like like I said on the show a bunch of times yeah
how do you feel about your chances today against Reena and Dan uh I don't know well Reena should
I say this Reena's confided to me that she doesn't watch a lot of movies so that's that's instilled
me with a little bit of confidence um oh maybe she's just playing games with your head. Yeah, that's true. Who knows?
Movies? I don't see those.
I've heard of them. What's that?
But then
you just say you worked at Hollywood Video
for years? Yeah, I don't see a lot of movies now.
Oh, well, I'm not
going to ask you about a movie that came out
now.
Maybe I will.
I'm already obsessed with infinity war uh trivia
um okay so prize bag let's talk about it i brought a bunch of stuff uh adam what do you have for the
bag uh i've got a copy copy of album, which is so old now.
I have to record another one just to have something else to put in the bag.
I got a copy of Roger Ebert's movie book for 2002.
Wow.
I might want to hang on to that.
Here's the thing.
I thought it was funny because I was flipping through it.
Because it's every review from January 99 to June 2001.
And it turns out that was a really shitty time for movies.
It's just full of like...
Can I ask you a quick...
What do you think the first...
It's alphabetical.
What do you think the first review is in this book?
That has to be Aardvark for sale.
That was a good one.
It's alphabetical
from 99.
Yeah.
It's gotta be a,
a,
is this when you were
working on Hollywood video?
Is this your reign?
Yeah.
Uh,
man,
I mean,
but that,
okay.
You know,
it's a little early
to be doing audience guesses,
but is it Amadeus?
Anaconda's a good guess.
No, AI was before that.
What is it?
This guy's guessing two.
Shut up!
All right.
It's The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Whoa!
And how many stars do you think it got out of four?
I'd probably say one and a half.
I'd say two.
Go on, Dan. Amosk four? I'd probably say one and a half. I'd say two. Go on, Dana. I'm a Skeeter.
I'll say two as well.
Three stars.
What?
Well, the way you said it
made it sound like it was going to be low.
Or no, I guess maybe surprising is what you were
leaning towards.
Three years before V in that alphabet.
What's that? Oh, A-D.
Okay.
A-D.
Is this why you got fired from Hollywood Video?
Couldn't put the fucking movies in the right order.
I was just winging it.
Oh, I also,
I didn't have time to do a proper sketch,
but I did a drawing of Thanos
from Infinity. I can't tell you what it is,
what's happening, because it's kind of a spoiler alert,
but it's like the way I think
the movie should have ended. So the person who wins the
prize bag is going to get the movie spoiled.
Yes, exactly. That's a great,
wow, what a great gift.
Oh, here's
that too. Oh, yeah.
I can't believe you just wrote it all out.
You know what?
I'm going to hang on to that.
I think that should go into a later prize bag.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Because how many people here have not seen Infinity War yet?
Okay, now you guys know you're all in darkness.
Applaud if you haven't.
And it's a podcast.
There's two reasons why.
Wait, now are you just
applauding just to applaud?
Or are you all the people
who haven't seen Infinity War?
Applaud if you haven't
seen Infinity War.
Yeah.
Now applaud if you want
to have it ruined today.
Well, you're just a bunch of monsters or you just live by the
if anyone says applaud if you
I'm going to
it's like the version of the Jim Carrey movie
Yes Man
alright so that stuff is great.
Of course, I had to bring a Christmas-y bong
from our friends that you guys already know the company name.
I got enough of these for the whole year, I think.
Might run out.
What do you got for the bag, Dan?
All right. Yeah, Dan? All right.
Yeah, Dan.
Jesus Christ.
That's probably Mike's wife over there.
I got a lot of things.
I got a bag of Funyuns.
I love that that was it.
There's a lot of Funyuns in there.
I got a book, Cheese and Beer.
It's a coffee table book about cheese and beer.
What?
Is that on your coffee table?
No, it was in a bookshelf that I never opened up.
So, yeah, I'm passing it along.
Do you invite people over to your house?
They come over, I've got cheese and beer.
And then they find out it's just a fucking book.
And now you can too.
I got a koozie from Stain and Pain Tattoos and Piercing.
It's where I get my tattoos in Chicago.
Yeah, but you haven't seen his tattoos.
How many tattoos do you have?
I think five or six.
And all from the same place?
Most of them from the same place.
Most?
So it's not even the place he gets his tattoos.
You're just a lot of lies, Dan.
You guys got me so quickly.
I got a fidget spinner from a...
I love that no one cheered or applauded for
fucking fidget spinner
was the fastest come and go
fad thingy.
And I got one last thing. I got
a sticker from Jeff Sesh. It's a
sticker of Jeff Sessions smoking
a joint. Yeah.
Come on.
Yeah. And that turned around.
You know, he's saying
Oh yeah
Maybe it is good
For some things
And I was like
Okay you dummy
And that's what I got
Sesh is right there
In your name
Be cool
Alright
There we go
That's all the stuff
From Dan
And speaking of
Medical marijuana
And recreational
I brought
One of these
Safety bags To put your weed in That's a nice one That they give you When you buy weed medical marijuana and recreational, I brought one of these safety bags
to put your weed in
that they give you when you buy weed at
Med Men out in Los Angeles.
Of course, they have locations
in Nevada and
no.
They're going to open one
in New York, though, but they've got them in
Orange County and Los Angeles and
Nevada.
Okay.
Rita, what did you bring? I got a little
hodgepodge of stuff here.
First, I have
this pair of workout pants I
ordered off of Instagram.
I thought I ordered
one. I thought it didn't go through. Then I got
three and I'm keeping two of them I thought it didn't go through. Then I got three.
And I'm keeping two of them, even though they don't fit.
And they're supposed to make you sweat off your weight.
But I think what they really are is just long beer koozies.
So another beer koozie for the bag.
I brought this It's a Girl solo chocolate cigar out of the green room. Because I don't know, but I feel like that's a thing that should go in the bag.
It was in the green room.
It's just by itself.
They do not have these in the green room.
It was in the chocolate bowl.
They got like M&M's and Almond Joy.
And that.
This?
Yeah, I had to share it with everybody.
This, I don't know.
What's a cigar word?
What do you say after you smell a cigar?
Fresh.
Oh, Cochiba.
I don't know.
What's that?
This might be illegal.
My roommate gave it to me.
It's the thing you spray on your license plate
so that the red light cameras
can't...
She's had it
for ten years. I don't know
if it works, but I did put it on my car
before I came here. Is it paint?
It's called photo blocker.
And the image on the front is
of a guy karate kicking
He's karate kicking
the black spot over
the crucial information.
That is so
I might have to hang on
to that as well.
Strangely, that's an Infinity War spoiler.
I tested it out.
This is an invitation to the bridal shower I missed today
for Liz Diner and Jacob.
Shout out to them.
I canceled after I RSVP'd.
And I blocked out the email and phone number for Karen.
But I hope you guys had a beautiful day.
This is a half a pack of matches from Will's Northwoods in the Bar,
where I have been hosting my open mic for seven years.
This is one of my signature buttons.
It says horse pussy.
I'm not going to explain that.
Don't google it real
quick this is a piece this is a coloring book sheet I made at the Crayola
experience at the Mall of America of my cleavage and I don't know what else to
do with it so here you go and this is the big one I saved it for last and I
included a party
popper so you can really celebrate this later when you get it
this is my Jewel Monopoly board
listen I'm not expecting
anybody to win a million dollars but give a bitch
five bucks you know what I mean they don't
I have everything filled out except for one on all the things so if you have that one at home you win uh and that's it
all right thank you for bringing all of that stuff
it's a lot yeah you brought so much stuff i don't know why you're pilfering stuff from the green room
trying to celebrate the birth of a baby with that cigar Yeah, you brought so much stuff. I don't know why you're pilfering stuff from the green room.
Trying to celebrate the birth of a baby with that cigar.
It was just so special.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you know that if any of your friends do have a baby,
you're not going to the fucking shower, apparently.
That's true.
I'll bring nothing.
I might take something, is what we've learned learned this is a shirt that I brought
it's got a gorilla he's wearing headphones I don't get it it's my size
and everything but I just want to spend any time saying that people yeah it's a
gorilla with headphones on I think it's the logo for a headphone company that
Trey galleon is involved with in some way.
Some koozies, a Douglas Movie sticker,
a copy of one of my albums, Smug Life,
and some Corona Light bottle openers.
Cinco de Mayo.
Yeah, and the koozies are Corona Light, too.
Yeah, we were at Adobe Gila's
having a proper, traditional Mexican lunch
on this incredibly sacred day.
How about this for weird timing?
This might have happened last year as well.
The Kentucky Derby is happening
like 10 minutes
before this show
is over.
So if you're
big Kentucky Derby
fans,
you gotta get
outside at
5.50.
Nobody gives a fuck.
Like,
of all the sporting
events you don't
have to see live,
like,
I'll just spend
that two minutes watching that later. And you don't have to see live, like, oh, I'll just spend that two minutes
watching that later.
And you don't even want to do that.
It's so short, and people don't care.
People aren't into it.
But I guess I'm going to Kentucky on Monday,
and they're super into it.
Oh, yeah.
So, again, we'll do some judicious edits
on this episode,
because I can't afford to lose those people in Kentucky that
love torturing innocent animals.
Yeah, I said it.
I mean, as long as
I'm going to keep doing it, I'm kind of interested in it.
I'd watch it, but I also
feel bad for the horses.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mexico City
outlawed places where you could go swim with the
dolphins.
PETA told me about that
yesterday. Let's see.
What else can I talk about that has nothing to do with movies or this show?
Actually, it was Blackfish, a movie
that inspired me to start
talking shit to SeaWorld. And now
SeaWorld, when you're driving up and down Southern California,
their billboards are like, we've got a new
rollercoaster.
And I think I would go
to a place that was all roller coasters but it was
all aquatic themed.
And they had signs everywhere that said, you know,
penguins are nice and
dolphins are smart. Like I don't need
to see them
do tricks. They mistreat those roller coasters
terribly.
Roller coasters hate being separated from their families.
They're nomadic.
Yeah, it's terrible.
All right, so all of that is going to be won by somebody today.
One person in this audience is going to walk away,
whether it's fair or not.
is going to walk away, whether it's fair or not.
You know, if Dan wins today,
then he was definitely destined to win yesterday, I think.
I think that's how destiny works.
But real quick, before we get to the game portion,
oh, also for the prize bag, a guitar pick.
Let's see what it says on it.
Nothing worth saying.
Just an extra guitar pick if you need it.
What was the last movie you saw, Adam?
Infinity War.
It's weird because everyone kind of looks
like Thanos in the purple lights.
It's odd.
I saw a bunch. I did that thing.
You know when you're on a long flight
and you just go through all the mediocre shit
that you couldn't be bothered to go and see?
You know what I mean?
So I saw a bunch.
I saw Justice League,
which I thought was all right.
Yeah, because you're sitting on a plane
with nothing else to do.
It's not bad.
I didn't think it was great.
Everyone had said
that it would be like watching
a literal piece of shit
so it wasn't that
cue the big piece of shit
in the audience
there it is
see Rita's shocked by that
she has no idea
what's going to happen when the name tags come out.
What was the last thing you saw, Dan?
I had a beer fest on this morning.
Just chilling at home watching beer fest?
Yeah.
I like it.
You a big fan of the new Super Troopers?
Yeah, we saw it opening night.
Yeah, it's very good.
Very funny.
It was very funny.
Yeah, it got the same rating on Rotten Tomatoes as the first one,
which also got a terrible rating.
And it's so bizarre.
Because how many years between those two movies?
18?
Something like that.
Yeah.
And the fucking critics still are fucking assholes.
I wonder what Roger Ebert thought of that movie when it came out.
Oh, that's a good question.
I don't know.
Yeah, find that out.
You think it's in this book?
Yeah, definitely.
I would check under S.
I don't know.
Rena wouldn't.
Rena would look under
Troopers, comma, super.
I might not read it
because I'm friends with the Broken Arrow guys
I'm friends with John Travolta
and John Woo
don't forget Chris Slater
oh that's a good trivia question
this one I'm going to let the audience
answer. Who?
Oh, I think I already know the answer. Samantha
Mathis. Never mind.
Alright,
alright. Here's the question.
What was the question?
Just who was the lady
lead in Broken Arrow?
Samantha Mathis.
Hey, now that.
Not Mantis.
Okay, what am I looking up? Super Troopers 2?
Super Troopers 2?
You know, I'll still find the word
Super Troopers.
Because that's the great thing about that title is
they'll probably be right next to each other
in review books.
I want to know his thoughts
on Super Troopers.
This is boring.
That's why I normally
don't look things up
during the show.
Because it's not
the greatest to listen to.
IMDB is such a success.
Yeah.
Do you guys remember books?
Let me tell you about
what he thought of Swordfish.
Or Sweet November.
That got one sweet star.
You know, who wants to see Charlize Theron
pretending to be dying?
Like, I want her to be out there with one arm
and kick an ass.
All right, so Summer of Sam.
Sunshine. all right so summer of sam sunshine superstar oh shit sweet and lowdown it's not even in this fucking book
it's probably for the best.
Oh, worth it.
All right.
Rita, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw I Feel Pretty a couple weeks before it came out at an advanced screening,
so I felt special and got free popcorn.
And the movie was great.
I liked the movie a lot. But you led with free popcorn.
Yeah, and M&M's.
The best part of the experience.
She was there, too.
Amy's very funny.
Rory Scovel's very funny in it.
For me, it wasn't a premise that I particularly enjoyed.
But as soon as someone's like, I hit my head, and now I do this, it's like, what?
Somebody fucking hit her in the head again.
Let's get this over with.
Although, that was the premise of Awakenings, wasn't it?
No, they were just sleepy.
They just had sleepy disease.
The head injury scene was a little bit more graphic than I think.
Well, also, she watches the movie Big.
Then she goes out and finds Zoltar at some dead amusement park.
And then she tries to wish to be pretty.
And then the next day, she hits her head.
And then she thinks she's pretty.
Why did she have to be wishing for it?
Why couldn't it have just happened?
Right, right.
We already knew she was uncomfortable
with herself.
That's what the character is in the beginning of the movie.
She's just awkward. Nobody ever gave me free
popcorn to see big, so I guess I
was... No, when you go
to screenings at big, they give you tiny little corn.
And you go tiddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- diddly- And then you jump onto a big piano.
A big keyboard.
The premise didn't blow my mind,
but I did like it a lot.
I thought the acting was very good.
Right?
Yeah, very subtle comedy acting in that movie, I thought.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm serious.
Nikki Glaser has a great scene
where she walks in as a complete bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's that model that shows up.
Oh, I got some texts, you guys.
But I got to say, Bert, turn it off because let the games begin!
Rosamond, bring your name tags out of the shadows.
Okay, here we go.
All right.
Lady and gentlemen, pick your name tags.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
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All right, we're back.
So you guys obviously picked name tags as a theme to the holiday.
Wow, Rina's wearing hers.
Well, there's a string around it. There's a chain on it, and it looks like, you know...
You know, I have to admit I don't know what this movie is.
And I'm a little bit embarrassed about the peer pressure that caused
me to choose it uh i might have similarity with your guest tomorrow i got anxious up there and
uh the really having a string on it's what really sold you no i i used to work with her at grub hub
so i felt i felt like it... So maybe she can explain it.
It says Gothica, but it's not the Halle Berry movie Gothica, right?
Yes, it is.
Oh, it is?
That's Halle Berry?
That's her.
Oh, you whitewashed it with your face.
But it's Gothica, like thick, like T-H-I-C-C, which I respect a lot.
So yeah.
All right.
So what's her name?
This is for Jenny.
Okay, because that's not on there.
Yeah.
Like I said, I really...
It's supposed to be a name tag.
Right?
Yeah.
Hello, my name is Gothica.
I really didn't look good at it.
Somebody had...
Well, at least you picked a friend,
and now you can
proceed to lose on her behalf.
Yeah.
She said herself she doesn't even know what Gothica is.
Yeah, but I know
Halle Berry and the guy with the
Austin translation was my second choice.
Oh yeah, that is a good one.
It's me instead of Bill Murray sitting on a
bed sat in a Japanese hotel room.
What do you got there, Dan?
I got Mike to the Future.
Uh-huh.
And it's...
They got two full bags of Starbursts and...
Yeah, that are hanging on for dear life.
Pretty much.
They just look like they're going to fall off any second now.
Marty, be careful with those Starbursts!
Marty be careful with those servers But that's a good one
I like it
I like the combination bribery
And also choosing a great movie
Bribery it's a little like cheating
So I thought I'd go for it
Oh I see
Very good
You better not try to cheat today.
We'll see.
Because Adam's right there.
What do you got, Adam?
Hitchmiker's Guide to the Galaxy
with you as Marvin the Robot.
Oh, okay.
I like it.
I don't know why.
No reason.
He doesn't have a shithead, though,
so I don't know if...
We'll have to look into that if you lose
okay
we'll have to
check in with him
alright
yeah
it's no gothica
and gothica
is no sort of
you can say that
about everything
I might
so somebody
threw up some
hostess donettis.
But this club has a no donut throwing policy,
which, you know, I gotta say,
I appreciate that they have one
because most clubs don't tell me about it till after.
But these guys, they hooked me up with some plastic baggies
so I could throw donuts.
Those are pre-wrapped.
What the shit is this?
So many snacks.
Wait, wait, wait.
Can we clarify?
I need a target.
These are pre-wrapped donuts?
Did you do...
Okay.
For a second, I thought you wrapped them yourself.
I was like, that is the saddest thing I've heard.
These are jumbo Donettis, and they're individually wrapped.
Oh, shit.
But somebody hold up a poster that I can hit with it.
Oh, that's a good one right there.
It was unbreakable.
Alright, so throughout the show
I'm just going to put some
of these donuts into
a plastic bag and then just
chuck it at somebody.
It's going to keep everything nice and clean
around here. I mean, the walls
have beautiful portraits of comedians.
Like most comedy clubs, when they have drawings of comedians on the wall,
they look like absolute dog shit.
And these are really accurate.
Like, you know who they are.
You don't have to puzzle it.
Like, who's that supposed to be?
And so they want to keep their walls clean.
I get it.
I understand.
And bust this beautiful wall back here.
What did you call it last night, Adam?
Oh, this looks...
Because the downtown one has got like a red sign
and this looks like the goth version.
This looks like...
This club looks like its parents are getting divorced.
I knew you said something funny about it last night.
All right, so we got some games we're going to play,
starting with, this is very exciting.
He's in town, a little bit ahead of schedule,
and so I had to ask him to stop by.
Let's do some lines with Jeff. Thank you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
All right, so Jeff's going to be back tomorrow to be a full-fledged guest,
but today he's reared up and ready to go.
Say hi to everybody, Jeff.
Hey, how's it going, everybody?
Hey, everybody.
Woo! Well, I appreciate this chance
I got to do a quick cuz I don't work on holidays I like to celebrate the day of
my people I used to work at Don Pablo's
I used to work at Don Pablo's.
That's what I mean.
So we're going to do lines with Jeff.
Are you ready?
I'll set it up like a host.
So this is how this game works.
Rena and Dan and Adam are the only people that get to guess.
And Jeff will be gone soon
so the people can see me again.
And...
Oh, that's not a bad idea.
Hey, everybody,
it's Brad Williams.
Jeff is gonna yeah those
very side seats I apologize
you just have to
close your eyes and pretend you're listening to the show
you're just getting it 24 hours earlier
so Jeff's gonna say
a line from a motion picture
normally I say a classic motion picture
but he's got his own opinions so he's gonna say a line from a motion picture normally I say a classic motion picture but he's got his own opinions so he's gonna say he's gonna stay alive through
a movie and then just guess as often as you like until somebody gets it and he's
got backup lines if necessary yes okay look great feel great
Okay, look great, feel great.
Look great, feel great.
Is that the line? I like to aim a little higher.
All right, here's the line.
Here's the line.
I'm not going to do an impression.
I'm just going to do the line.
All right, here we go.
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar.
Two people.
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar.
See, I just keep thinking of movies that Mick Jagger is in.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's not from Free Jack.
It is not Free Jack.
What's that?
Ratatouille.
No.
You guys want another line?
Should I do another line?
All right, here's another line.
You're on the mic with Mike.
Ooh.
Pump up the jam?
Nope.
Pump up the volume? What? Pump up the jam nope pump up the volume
nope
right and here's the third line
oh is this going to give it away
I mean probably not
I thought I didn't think I'd get this far
but this line will help
I mean it's from the end
like the climax.
Right?
He goes like this.
He goes, now that's how you drive a car.
From now on, that's how you drive.
Death proof.
No.
Fuck!
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar.
Can you do the impression?
Okay, I'll do it.
All right, here it goes.
I'm acting in it.
No fair answers, audience.
We're still not done.
We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar.
That was the same voice.
I don't know what you're talking about let me try it though we were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar oh it's a Nope. Should I say it?
Was that supposed to be Keckner?
Should I say another line?
Yeah.
I mean, I can... Can you do the whole movie?
I mean, I can, yeah, kind of.
Can I just guess if I've seen it or not?
Yeah, do you want to guess if you've seen it?
No, yes.
I want to guess that no, I haven't.
All right. All right, is she the no, I haven't. All right.
All right.
Is she the winner, Jen?
Yeah.
Well, let's wait and see if she's seen it first.
Okay.
Dan, have you seen it?
Yes.
You think yes.
Adam?
Yeah.
The boys think yes, and the girl thinks no.
I think they're right.
I've never seen it go this far.
Do I just say the movie?
No, tell us somebody who's in it.
Okay.
Our audience guesses.
But in the same voice, you did the line.
I can't believe I'm taking voice shit off this guy.
Guy's been here for 50 years and he's still got that fucking northern Chicago accent.
Northern Chicago.
Right? Isn't that where he's from?
Okay, here's somebody that's in this movie.
Okay, here's somebody that's in this movie.
Marge Helgenberger.
Jesus Christ.
Okay, Joe Pantoliano.
Joey Pants.
John Sally is in this movie. Former NBA All-Star John Sally.
Wait, is this Eddie?
Nope.
It's not Eddie.
There's a movie.
Chechki Cario is in it.
Taya Leone is in it.
Ooh, I know her.
Sounds like a great movie.
Well, it's fantastic.
Will Smith is in it.
The top billed person is not Will Smith.
It is Martin Lawrence.
Bad Boys.
Bad Boys 2.
It is Bad Boys.
Oh my God. Bad Boys 2. It is Bad Boys. That was, how did it?
Oh my God.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jeff, wait, wait.
Do you guys think you want to plug?
First I want to find out Have you seen it?
I have
Okay she lost
Do I have anything to plug?
No
Come back tomorrow
Alright thank you Jeff Tate I just put donuts in hands.
That's what I'm about.
So who won that?
I did.
Okay.
Wait, are you cheating?
I got it past you.
Dan, I'm a cheater.
It all happened so fast.
Oh!
Oh, no.
Oh, goodness.
He's a real Don Cheetle, right?
Okay.
You've probably gotten that before. It's like you're sitting next to Cheet and Chong
Why is she Chong in this?
I was pointing to Doug
She's sitting next to him
Dan's really bringing the Cheet today
Alright so I'm very excited about this next game
that occurred to me while I was talking to Sam Levine
on a balcony.
We did this thing for screen junkies in movie fights,
and the holding area was a balcony,
and we were talking about movies,
and we just had a lovely chat.
And this game is called jobs jobs jobs and I'm going
to go to each of you individually and ask you if an actor or actress has been in the movie jobs
the movie Steve Jobs or The Italian Job?
Can I clarify, which Italian Job?
The original or the remake?
Listen, if you're going to...
Are you saying Michael Caine?
No, you're right.
You don't get to guess names.
You just have to guess the movie they're in.
So I'll just tell you right now that it's never going to be the original Italian job.
It's the remake, the tribute to Mini Coopers.
That I very much enjoy.
All right, so we're going to start with Dan, then we'll go to Rena, and then we'll go to Adam.
So if somebody doesn't get one,
the next person gets to guess.
And then if both people get it wrong,
the third person can just clean up and get a point
just by saying the name that hasn't been said yet.
Yeah, so it's a sneaky game perfect for cheaters.
All right, Dan.
Which of these was
this person in? Jobs, Steve
Jobs, or the Italian Job?
Josh Gad.
He was in
Jobs?
I mean, he was in Jobs. That is correct. He was in Jobs.
That is correct.
He was in Jobs.
Wow.
All right.
Now we go to Rina.
Okay.
Which one of those three movies had Donald Sutherland in it?
Steve Jobs.
That is incorrect.
Can I steal?
You're not stealing.
It's your turn.
Well, the only reason I say steal
is because he was in The Italian Job.
That is correct.
That is correct.
So now, Adam and Dan both have one point.
We're playing until I decide to stop playing.
It's Dan's turn.
We're back to Dan.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which one had...
Which one had Yassin Bey in it?
I'm going to say the Italian job.
That is correct.
Also known as Mos Def.
Yeah, that was kind of trying to be a trick question.
Good instincts.
He changed his name to Yassin Bey, all lowercase letters.
Yes, that's what he changed his name to.
And he insists on it.
Like, you'll see it in movies.
They do it.
They give them all lowercase.
Reena?
Yes.
Which one of those three movies is Matthew Modine in?
Jobs?
That is correct.
We've got a three-way tie.
Wow. Yeah, wow indeed.
I can't point David away
because he's been cheated. What? Somebody in the audience has a strong opinion
about points and taking them away.
We're back to Adam.
Yeah.
Which one of those three features
friend of Doug Love's movies, Oscar Nunez?
Of course, from The Office.
I'm going to say he had a...
Steve Jobs?
Incorrect.
Can I steal it?
No.
That would be cheating.
Because it's Dan's turn.
You would know. It's Dan's turn. You would know.
It's Dan's turn.
I'm going to say...
I'm not telling you.
I'm going to say Jobs.
No.
So what do you think it is, Rina?
Could it be the remake of The Italian Job?
Yes.
Yes.
Okay, Rina's got two.
Adam and Dan each have one.
Wow.
Is that true?
No, I have two.
Okay, Dan has two.
Rina has one.
And Adam has three.
Two could play the cheating game.
Alright, so I legitimately thought it was a three-way tie.
Someone has two?
You both have two, okay.
So Adam, you're bringing up the rear.
Who went last?
Oh, I did.
Okay, so we'll go to Adam.
Comedian Jimmy Schubert.
Which one of those
movies is he in?
Did I give away
a slight lack of confidence there?
God knows.
Jobs?
Mm-mm.
Dan?
Steve Jobs. Mm-mm. Alex. Dan?
Steve Jobs.
Mm-mm.
Oh, no.
I believe it was the remake of The Italian Job.
That is correct.
Are we trapped in a loop?
Are we trapped in a loop?
Oh, I love this game.
Back to you, Adam.
Oh, God.
You have a chance here, not really.
Rena has three, Dan has two, and Adam has one right yeah sounds right adam yep james woods
everybody's favorite person james woods
i don't remember him being in see i can't even fucking remember which one is the Kushner one Kushner
How do you pronounce the name?
Which one is Jared Kushner in?
Whatever you know what I mean
I do know what you mean
Jobs
I had to look
Yes he's in Jobs.
Big comeback time for you.
But we got to go to Dan, who's killing it.
One of the great character actors from, you know him from 30 Rock, Scott Adsit.
Yeah. Which one was he in it's hard
to choose right he's versatile could have been in any of them let's say let's
say Steve Jobs incorrect Rena I'm gonna go with jobs incorrect Adam would it be
the remake of the Italian Joe that is correct what's the
score Dan don't trust dad It's a three-way tie, Doug.
Reid has three.
Adam has three.
Dan has two.
Yeah.
This is crunch time, Dan,
because you can make it a three-way tie with this one.
It's your turn, right?
Yeah.
It is. Oh, no, it's Adam's turn. It's your turn, right? Yeah. It is.
Oh, no, it's Adam's turn.
Dan's got to go fix the Kentucky Derby.
It's Adam's turn.
Well, he answered last.
No, it's Dan's turn.
No, he answered last.
Oh, okay.
You're right, it is Dan's turn. You're right.
It is Dan's turn.
I was right.
I was right, then I was wrong,
and now I'm right again.
Dan, Michael Stuhlbarg.
One of my favorite character actors
out there right now.
Can I hear it one more time?
He's amazing.
Michael Stuhlbarg.
He was nominated for Best Actor
for A Simple Man
directed by the Coen Brothers.
And I probably said
that name wrong.
Simple Man?
Anyway.
I'm going to give it
one more try.
I'm going to say Steve Jobs.
That is correct.
We've got a three-way
fucking tie.
Reena gets to start off this final round.
Oh, boy.
And this will determine it.
Okay.
Which one featured
Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine.
Lil Logan, if you're more up to date.
Oh, wow.
I'm going to...
He sounds young.
No, he's just small. He's not
young. He's small.
He also doesn't sound young. He sounds like the
man who invented Hollywood.
Sam Levine.
He sounds...
He just sounds like somebody that wants
my money.
I owe him a lot.
Is he in jobs?
What?
Jobs?
That is correct.
You are the winner.
Thank you, Sam Levine.
Would you like to throw some donuts into the audience?
I would.
I would.
I lost that one in the lights.
Yeah.
They were waving those lights like air traffic controllers, you know, for donuts.
All right.
So, you know what?
You just won, Reena.
What?
You get to go first in the final game.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Which probably isn't that important To go first in this game
But it's still
It's a journey
It's almost like I lost
No you definitely want to go first
But we'll switch the old order around
So we'll go to Dan
And then Adam
And then back to you Rina
In a round of Last Man Standing.
If anyone would like to go ahead
and fat-check Dan's answers as he says them.
Don't do that.
No cell phone usage is allowed
in the showroom during the show.
You know, we'll just see.
Maybe Dan will
sneak his way into
another win. Can you come back tomorrow,
Rena? Yeah. Okay, cool.
Because I'm feeling stronger about you now.
Uh-oh. Okay, I'll try not to let you down.
I don't think you really have a chance here.
Depends.
I mean, anybody that can shrug and say,
jobs?
I thought I was filling out an aptitude test.
It sounds like the laziest political campaign.
I mean, Trump tried with black voters.
What have you got to lose?
Turns out quite a bit, I think.
Ooh.
Ooh!
All right, so I pre-selected a couple of people,
because I like to get a backup.
In case the first name makes you all make faces like,
we can't handle this.
Samantha Mathis. because I like to get a backup in case the first name makes you all make faces like this we can't handle this yes Samantha man that math this is a great example of nobody can name anything she was in a thing called love but where is
Atkinson Works. Alright.
So if your suggestion is it doesn't you know if the
panelists don't like it we'll get a second one but
I like to play with just one name if possible.
Someone with a lot of credits
that everybody knows. What do you got
for us Atkinson?
What's your name actually?
Dan. Oh I see.
Mm-hmm.
Collusion. Is he Russian? Dan's. You know how Dan's are.
I only have one friend named Dan because if you have two, they will turn. They really stick together. Dugs, we don't give a fuck about each other
I don't even want to meet another Doug
what's your suggestion dude?
Johnny Depp
see that's perfect
I say we just straight up play Johnny Depp
sure why not
yeah let's do it
thank you to everybody else who reached out on Twitter.
We had a lot of people today saying,
you know, I've got a name for Last Man Stanton,
but our boy Dan Atkinson gave us Johnny Depp.
There's probably no better name right now
because, you know, he's just doing so much for women.
much for women I think every movie he's in lately he's got wigs and glasses and like he's in disguises because he's practicing for when he's just gonna
escape yeah when he has to flee he's just getting ready it's just a theory a
lot of people like him I think it depends on your depth perception
right
I got it
I'll throw donuts at you
if you don't clap for that one
oh yeah
no one has ever thrown donuts that aggressively.
Donets, donuts.
Oh, no.
I do throw them very aggressively.
When we play bigger venues, I really get into it.
But, you know, we're trying to keep this place nice.
So we're doing Johnny Depp, and we're starting with Reena,
and then going to Dan, and then to Adam.
And I'll play along.
I'll take a turn each time
just to be a spoiler.
And you each get one lifeline.
The person whose name tag you chose,
you reach out to Gothica.
And Dan's going to go to Mike.
And Adam's going to go to...
Mike as well.
Oh, that's...
Yeah.
So many Dan's, so many Mike's.
Reena, the films of Johnny Depp.
Any films got JD in it?
I'm going to start with one of my favorites,
Benny and June.
Okay.
That started a genre of movies
where someone was magically retarded.
Yeah, there's a few.
Those are all my, that all my top three right now.
Or retardedly magical ones.
All right, Dan.
Staying on theme, what's eating Gilbert Grape?
There's another one for that category.
All right, Adam.
Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl.
Oh, look at you go.
I know that if you don't say the subtitle... You got to do the full title.
You're right.
I wouldn't have tried that one.
The Curse of the Pea.
I've got to keep it short to move it along.
I will go with...
I was just talking about it with...
No, I wasn't.
I was talking about another movie that reminds me of it.
I was talking about Hairspray, which reminds me of Crybaby.
Reena?
Such a good one.
Edward Scissorhands.
Sure.
You know,
in the movie, he seems kind of serious,
Edward, but in real life, he's
a total cut up.
Has that one just been ripping a hole in your back pocket this whole time?
No, I just make stuff up.
No, I've said that thing about Benny and June for a long time. But that was the first time I made a kind of joke about Edward.
Dan?
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Adam?
The Astronaut's Wife.
Is that real?
Who was the wife?
Charlize Theron or somebody like that?
Yeah.
Okay.
That woman who was at dinner for schmucks.
That one.
Whoever that was.
Ooh.
Nasty.
That's nasty.
I'm going to go with Yoga Hosers.
Yeah, he's in that Kevin Smith movie.
And Deb's own daughter is one of the leads,
along with Kevin Smith's daughter.
Yeah.
Next stop, Nepotism.
I said next stop because I thought
Nepo sounds like depot.
That's what it's called when you only hire people that work at the train station
depotism
we gotta stop this depotism in this country
train workers are getting too much
things
Rina
should do a depotation you know
okay
one guy just Rina? I should do a depotation, you know? Okay.
One guy just fucking shit himself over there.
Oh!
He might have just actually shit himself.
That's what I'm saying.
No deportation jokes on Cinco de Mayo, please. I know, I know.
Not cool.
Okay.
Okay.
You got it?
You got this.
And you go to your lifeline.
Don't forget about that.
Yes, I'm going to need that soon for sure.
But for now, I'm going to say Willy Wonka.
What's the full title?
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
Yeah.
That's wrong.
What?
No, it's...
That's not it, apparently.
It's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, but he's not in that,
so I'm not gonna guess that.
Wait, hang on, you guys.
Hang on.
Slow down, you guys.
Slow down, slow down.
Me only.
Me only.
Yeah, you're wrong wrong but also everyone has to
fucking start talking and yelling shit instead of just letting her be wrong and giving me the
chance to try to fix it because i like rita and i want her lifeline to tell us the movie she's
thinking of that has johnny depp in it. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is correct.
Oh, okay.
You're still in it.
Well, I've...
Yeah, they pulled a fast one
and changed the emphasis to Charlie
because Willy Wonka was not played by Gene Wilder,
who is the only Willy Wonka in my heart.
That's correct.
That's correct.
Yeah.
Wow.
So I'm glad they changed the title.
Just put it on that stupid kid.
Dan?
Sweeney Todd.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, wait, wait.
I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know.
So fast, you guys.
Give it a second.
Do you know the full title?
I know half of the full title.
Oh, that's probably not good enough.
You want to switch your answer?
I can switch my answer.
Okay, do that.
Sleepy Hollow.
Uh-huh.
That's the full title.
Sweeney Todd, Sleepy Hollow?
Yeah, that was good.
Sleepy Hollow, the demon horseback rider of Stupidville.
Adam.
Nick of Time.
Yes.
Yes, that movie was told in real time.
And I want those two hours back.
I could have gone to the mall like he does in the movie all right another Johnny Depp I you know it's kind of throwing you guys a little bit
of a helpful title with the yoga hosers because prior to that Johnny Depp played the same character in Kevin Smith's Tusk.
Yeah.
With our friend Justin Long was in that.
I say our friend about anybody that's ever been on the show.
Even if they never speak to me again.
Reena?
I'm not too proud to go with sweeney todd the barber of
stop it you guys give her a chance no boo is correct i guess uh yeah i what is it called
sweeney todd the demon barber of seville oh shit the seville right that's a ripoff of a Of Seville? Oh, shit. The Seville, right.
That's a ripoff of an opera.
The team of Barbara of Seville.
The Barbara of Seville.
Those are all words.
Figaro, Figaro.
Bugs Bunny fans know that one.
Okay, I'm sorry.
You're out.
We can't say what it really is because it's still in play.
Dan?
Ringo.
Ringo.
out. We can't say what it really is because it's still in play. Dan?
Rango.
Or as Rina calls it,
Rangoletto.
Because they're both opera.
Fuck off. Okay.
Alright, Adam,
you still have a lifeline.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Oh, okay. Fasts and Where to Find Them Okay
FB and where
the fuck
Spoiler
I didn't tell you where to find them
No that's the
They're in his fucking suitcase.
That felt kind of like you left the house this morning going, I'm going to say spoiler today.
As soon as I get the chance.
Hey, is that what was in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction?
Do you think it was the...
It was just his monsters.
The fantastic beasts.
There was fantastic beasts.
That makes a lot of sense.
The gold one was on top. The gold glowing one.
But anyway.
Whose turn is it?
Mine?
Oh, shit.
That was some fancy stalling right there.
I'm going to go with...
How about...
Wolf of Wall Street?
I'm positive. Next.
He's so confident.
I'm out. I'm out. I'm out.
I switched over to a different actor.
I thought we were...
Just seamlessly switch over to DiCaprio.
I thought we were doing Jonah Hill.
I love that you're so done with this show,
you're already doing tomorrow's show.
Who's up now?
Dan.
Black Mass.
Yes.
Donnie Brasco.
I just thought of that one right after I said that.
He's not in Wall Street either.
Johnny's never been in a movie with the word wall in the title.
Dan?
Lone Ranger.
Whoa.
That was a fucked up movie.
Why didn't they just call it Tonto?
It was his movie.
Lone Ranger was a dipshit
running around looking for his
twin Winklevoss.
Adam.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
Mm-hmm.
I liked him in that.
What's going on, Dan?
A nightmare on Elm Street.
Nightmare on Elm Street!
What kind of nightmare on Elm Street was it?
Terrifying.
No, more specific.
Nightmarish.
If you had to put a word before nightmare,
what would it be? Think
opera.
Oh, I didn't realize I didn't get it right.
Okay.
People are going to let you have it, but I'm not.
Fair enough.
I don't know if I got the
right one, so can I go to my Lifeline, or can I
give you a different one? you could do either of those things
then I'll go with the rum diaries
I believe it was just the one diary
oh god
no I'm kidding
but Adam now you could steal whatever it was
he was just trying to say if you know it
no that's all right.
21 Jump Street.
He's in it.
Settle down.
My answers are only spoilers.
Movies you didn't know Johnny Depp was in.
Wow, I just thought of another one.
Anyway, Dan.
I'm going to have to go to my Lifeline then.
Okay, Lifeline.
Can you fix his mistake or give him another one?
Mike?
Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End.
Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End.
Yeah, I'll take that one.
I think that's legit. That sounds legit.
I'm very bad at remembering all the
subtitles on those movies, so we'll see
where this goes. Adam?
Mordecai. Yeah.
Hey, you guys, I'm absolutely serious when I
tell you it's one of the best comedies ever made.
Dan?
Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest?
Yeah.
Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides. Oh!
I'm not even writing these down anymore.
Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Men Tell No Tales.
Adam still got his lifeline?
Sherlock Gnomes.
Whoa.
Wow.
That's some real educated shit right there.
You really know things.
But he says it with the accent.
He wasn't supposed to be in it.
He's just a lunatic.
Yeah, Sherlock Gnomes.
Dan.
I'm going to give it a try.
Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barbara of Fleet Street?
That is it.
That sounds great.
Adam, you got another one?
A. Nightmare on Elm Street.
Yes.
That's what I said.
That's what I said the first time.
You just said nightmare without any the or a at the beginning.
Oh, I thought I said that.
Yeah, that's probably why you were confused when I was telling you you said it wrong.
I was so confused.
He didn't say the or a the first time.
Yeah.
Anyway, as far as I can recall.
What do you got, Dan?
I got a lot of nothing.
I think...
You think this is the end of the line?
I see...
I see a lot of just...
Debt blue seats.
Yeah, try to slip one by me.
Dinner for schmucks.
We don't need to know about your
plans later this evening, sir.
I'm going to
say, just because he may be in it, I could have forgotten.
Anchorman 2, The Legend Continues?
Is he one of the people in the big fight?
No.
Now!
Now!
I'm out. I'm out.
All right. Adam Burke is our winner.
Do you have another one you show off?
Ed Wood.
Ed Wood is a great one.
That's a great one.
Yeah, and I kept trying to think of what was the one he did with Angelina Jolie,
the tourist.
Oh, that was not good.
Dark Shadows.
Wait, which ones did we miss?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
There was two Alice in Wonderland movies that made so much money.
Oh, yeah.
Murder on the Orient Express.
made so much money.
Oh yeah, Murder on the Orient Express.
Both Alice in Wonderland. Alice in Wonderland, yeah.
Dark Shadows, yeah.
From Hell.
I've said Dark Shadows twice
now.
I had just said
Alice in Wonderland.
This game is getting silly.
By the way,
by the way,
this is the conversation Johnny Depp is having
with himself right now.
Just walking around the room alone,
just screaming to all of them.
Just all of his titles,
just yelling and breaking lamps.
But having the time of his life.
That guy knows how to spend money.
Oh, man, he does.
Yeah, and so, Adam, can you come back tomorrow?
I can, sir.
Adam's going to be back tomorrow.
Where is the...
That worked out that there's no shithead on the back of your name tag
because he doesn't get a shithead.
But where is the fellow who won the prizes?
Where's Mike?
Right here, Mike.
Come on up and get all your stuff, Mike.
There you go, Mike.
Mike, have you seen Infinity War yet?
Not yet.
Okay, then don't look at the picture.
I told you I'm not giving it to him.
Oh, right.
Never mind.
Never mind.
He's keeping the secrets for maybe another week.
I hope you win Jewel Monopoly.
I hope you win.
I have one sticker, so I hope it's the right one.
Yeah, probably not.
It's probably not the right sticker.
Thanks, dude. Let's hear it for
Mike.
Let's do some plugs. Let's start off with our winner.
Adam Burke, what's going on?
Where can people see you? What are you up to?
Promote yourself.
Watch Man of the People
on WGM
Saturdays on 10s
because I write for it
you're also on that wait wait don't tell me show
I am yeah yeah
I've been talking to them about trying to get on there
it hasn't happened yet but I want to do it
I know someone
make sure that they know that
they should continue talking to me
because we're already talking to them about it.
Also, I'm on the show.
I think he might be able to hook me up,
but maybe that's why I haven't been on.
But thank you for being here, Adam.
And Dan?
Yes. A Dan. Yes.
A mosquito.
Yes.
I didn't even have to look at it that time.
What do you got to plug?
I actually am.
I have a podcast coming out in about a month.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's called listening to talking.
So look for that wherever you can get podcasts.
What's the,
what's the premise of it?
I mean, is it just listening to talking or yeah it's
listening to me talking and my friend grant talking we talk about stuff in our lives and
just you know fun things that we can think of okay there's really some fun guys all right maybe
maybe it's a fun topic for a podcast to find out all tune in to find out. Alright. Thank you, Dan. Thank you. And Rina Calm,
what's up with you? Where can we
see you? I got a lot of shows in Chicago
this month. You can check all my dates at
rinacalm.com slash dates and then
I'll be traveling around the city in my Prius for
like two months after that. Not the city, the country.
You guys have heard of it.
I'll be all along the west coast,
Texas, Denver, so check my website for
dates and come out to a show.
Very cool.
I got one more bag of mini chocolate donuts.
Oh, deflected!
Damn!
Don't sue me.
Sue that guy that slapped it out of the air into your head.
I got to promote something, I think.
Yeah.
Douglas Movies, June 9th in Houston at the Secret Group.
And, of course, who's coming back tomorrow?
Are we going to see some of you tomorrow?
You know, it's just
a whole weekend
it's such a beautiful weekend
the weather's so great
just come inside
and argue about movie trivia
and get hit in the back
of the head
with a bag of donuts.
Pass your name tags down
so I can read those
beauties off of the back.
And one more time for my guests.
Adam Burke, Dan Mesquita, and Rina Calm.
Gothica, what's your...
There's no shithead on the back.
A shrug?
Just you're cool with everybody?
Everything's great?
No complaints?
My name's Jenny.
You just want me to call you a shithead?
All right, Jenny.
Could you grab that and pass it back to her so she can have it?
All right, well, at least this shithead's gonna make up for that yours isn't great
because I don't know who's not gonna agree with this
shithead. As always,
and thank you to Zany's
here in Rosemont and to all you guys for coming
out.
As always,
Jenny is a
shithead.
And mint
juleps are a shithead. And mint juleps are a shithead.