Doug Loves Movies - Adam Ferrara, Mike Saccone and Graham Elwood guest
Episode Date: August 17, 2015Live from the Kansas City Improv, Doug welcomes Adam Ferrara, Mike Saccone and Graham Elwood to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody, producer Ryan here. The audio quality on this episode isn't the best, but we still think it's a really good app, so please enjoy.
Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! The Dubs Movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
You know what I'm going to say next I wish You know what I'm going to say next.
I wish I knew what I was going to say next.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
I thought that would be a pretty good one.
I think they set up the stage that I would want to sit on that end.
And I also always say don't
give all the comedians, all my guests, their own microphone stands, because that's just,
those are just in the way now. But I didn't notice that they did that before I came up
here, so we're just going to have to live with it. I'm glad we talked that through,
Kansas City. Of course, we're coming to you, I guess maybe I'm a we talked that through, Kansas City.
Of course, we're coming to you.
I guess maybe I'm a little tense because this is the second time and hopefully the first time we will successfully record the show.
I'm scared that there's like an open laptop just sitting on the stage.
That doesn't seem like a good idea.
But we'll see how it works out.
I'll point it out to all the guests when they get up here so nobody stomps on it.
It's Saturday, August 15, 2015 at 420-ish.
Let me see those name tags, Kansas City.
Instead of Kill Bill, there's Bill Bill.
Instead of Angela's Ashes, there's Angela's Hashes.
So that's cute that you still changed something in the title, Angela.
Ernest Saves Christmas.
Your name is Ernest?
It's Christamus.
Oh, man.
Why didn't I notice that?
Dead Joe at society,
because your name, of course, is society.
Whoa, there's a big Willy Wonka face.
Have I seen that one before?
Last year.
Okay, well, nobody heard about it.
There's a really elaborate killer clown situation over there, which looks like some
kettle corn and some whatever that other stuff is called. Cotton candy. It says cotton candy
right on it. I'm like, whatever that's called. That cotton candy bag over there. What do
they call that? Jenny McGuire said, Jerry, you guys did a great job. There's lots of
good ones. Oh, and Nate's here with another Dream Douglas Movies cast.
Did we destroy the last one?
Jeff stole it.
Jeff Tate kept it the last time he did that.
All right, you guys can put it down.
Your arms are going to get sore.
And let's do a couple little things before I get my guests out here.
do a couple little things before I get my guests out here.
Last night, thank you to all who endured the Benson movie interruption at the Alamo Drafthouse of Kansas City Bomber.
Bomber.
From 1972, the story of a woman who perseveres
by getting knocked down by her family, her co-workers, and her boss.
I think she just takes all that shit just for being beautiful.
And the whole movie, if you've never seen it,
it just feels like you're watching a movie that somehow got drugs put in its drink by Bill Cosby.
Because it's blurry and wobbly and never sure what's supposed to be happening.
According to this piece of paper, Getting Doug With High,
we're going to do a new one on my YouTube channel,
youtube.com slash Doug Benson, this Tuesday at a time to be determined.
I've got a prize bag full of fabulous prizes,
but let's talk about what's
in there with my guests. Please give a big warm welcome to Adam Ferrara, Mike Saccone,
and Graham Elwood.
Watch out for this laptop.
It's on the stage.
Checking some email with that laptop.
That ought to be cool.
I see that it looks like two of you got those mics.
Oh, we got a broken one over here.
Yeah.
That's why we didn't really need it.
Oh, I've been dealing with that all week.
Now I'm Axl Rose.
Yeah, that's not bad if you want to hold it like that, I guess.
That'll work.
That's not bad from the guy who has a mic stand. Well, I have it because I have to do some hands-free games play at one point in the show.
Hands-free games play at one point in the show but normally we just hands-free
games play normally we just have to put the mics on the on the comics seats so that they don't
have a mic stand to mess around with website this is on hands-free games play
let's introduce mike first because he has he's not talking so far he's being a professional
even though he has...
I like how you and Graham both have those
mic stands that they give to comedians
sometimes even though we're not going to play an
instrument. Ever. And we never can
figure these out. Like only a musician,
this is a Rubik's Cube that only a musician
can figure out.
I don't like them. If I had an accordion and I had
to adjust this, this would be perfect.
I don't think you could... Where had an accordion and I had to adjust this, this would be perfect. I don't think you could.
Where would the accordion go?
How could you even?
Well, you'd have to really.
If you want, then you can put your big fat accordion out front.
You'd have to really work it out.
Yeah.
Mike is in town performing here at the Kansas City Improv all weekend long.
Right, Mike?
Yeah.
I actually live here now, Doug.
You didn't know that.
I did know that.
You mentioned it earlier.
I took note of it in my head.
I know how your head goes.
Yeah, so that was out immediately.
Sometimes shit slips on you.
But I'm from here, and then I moved back here after 30 years away.
Yeah, you were out in L.A.
You were a part of my poker gang that played way too much poker.
Yes, that band of no good nicks.
We played a lot of fucking poker.
For way too much money.
Like, there'd be some guys that would play that have tons of money,
and then us, and we would lose money to people that could...
Yes, yes.
It was terrible.
At the time, the more famous ones seemed to be killing us,
and now you're the famous one, so you're probably...
Oh, well, thank you very much.
It's probably why I don't play poker at all anymore.
It's no fun if you don't need to win.
It's only good when you're just like a junkie.
Come on, rent.
That's what makes it exciting.
And by the way, the fact that I even know you,
my punk-ass hoodlum stoner daughters finally think I'm cool.
Yeah, that's, I don't know how to feel about that.
I know.
It's kind of fucked up, but I'm like, yeah, I know.
Will he sign my bong?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, that's not tough to pull off.
But you brought, for the prize bag, you brought something interesting that I can't find right now.
They're stolen items, what I brought, and the feds are hot on my tail, so I'm moving the merchandise over to you.
It's two lighters from the Garfield and Oates swag merchandise.
You know, Kate Micucci and that blonde chick.
The other chick. Garfunkel and Oates.
Yeah.
Garfield and Oates.
Garfield and Oates. My daughter, Lana,
she was their assistant and she handled
all their merchandise. And while I was at our house
I stole some shit out of the bag.
Two of them, you guys.
Two Garfunkel and Oates.
And they're a combination
Lighter and bottle opener
So you can go both ways
Alright
That's a good gift from a first time guest
And we have another first timer on the show
Everybody give it up for Adam Ferraro
Let's hear it for him
Thank you Also performing Ferraro, let's hear it for him.
Thank you.
Also performing this weekend, all weekend long, all night strong here at the KC Improv.
Are you allergic to unusual mic stands?
No, he sneezed.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
You germy bastard.
Sorry.
Adam brought a copy of his comedy DVD. Funny as hell.
Yeah.
And snacks.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
He also brought a kind vanilla blueberry.
Gluten free and intact.
Yeah.
And they say that it's chewy with a crunch.
So that and intact. Yeah, and they say that it's chewy with a crunch. So that's...
Intact.
That can't possibly be good for you to put inside your...
I did.
I didn't want to bring you something broken.
I'm a first time guest, for Christ's sake.
You know, so I didn't want to bring broken, yet I get broken.
See how you get fucked on this show.
And Graham Elwood is here, everybody.
What's up, Kansas City? this show. Graham Elwood is here, everybody.
What's up, Kansas City?
Take control,
Fountain City.
Take control of your improv in a fake mall town.
I think Pleasantville was filmed here.
True story, guys.
You brought some stuff for the bag.
You brought a copy of your CD, Palm Strike Dance Party.
Yeah, there you go, and it is fully intact.
See?
I'm not going to be an asshole and bring a broken cd and you bought a palm strike uh
t-shirt yeah there you go yeah which are perfect for the drunk who needs to cross the street late
at night there you go great for you really light up in this uh reflective yellow doing community
service by your local freeway because you had some drunken driving issues?
I got some CDs from not only my own CD,
but others from specialthingrecords.com.
There's a Bob Odenkirk one and a Dave Hill one that we're going to put in the prize bag.
Yeah.
Nice.
He was also from the poker game.
No, he wasn't.
Odenkirk would dip in once in a while.
Oh, that's true.
You're right.
I was thinking Dave Hill.
Also, we got a copy of this book
that I've given out a few copies of
on the show by Kyle Burbank.
It's available on Amazon,
and he's at D23,
the big Disney convention this weekend.
I should have plugged this earlier than now.
But the book's called
The E-Ticket Life,
Stories, Essays, and Lessons Learned
from My Decidedly Disney Travels.
And I'm learning some great stuff about it.
Graham, when you were in Tokyo,
did you get anywhere near Disney Tokyo?
No.
Chris Mancini went when we were there
shooting earbuds.
I don't know what this crazy feedback is, but I brought that directly from Tokyo.
I think the microphones don't like you or what you have to say.
Yeah, I think that's what it is.
I'm getting the microphones are pulling a Tokyo drift.
Tech term.
All right, so I'll get Chris on the show sometime and ask him about Tokyo Disney.
Yeah, he's got a lot to do.
He's got kids,
so he's always,
any Disney anything,
he knows.
When we were over there,
he's like,
oh, dude,
you want to come
to Tokyo Disney with me?
I'm like, no,
I'm going to walk
around a samurai village.
I'm sure they have
that portion there at Disney.
But not every...
Amongst all the worlds
of wonder.
You could just go to Epcot
and stay here.
They've got a Tokyo thing here.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, and they've got a Kaishaku booth.
That's ritual suicide, folks.
Worlds of Fun had the Zambezi Zinger.
I think that's kind of Japanese, isn't it?
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Local reference, ladies and gentlemen, listening at home.
I've got the local edge, boys.
Try to keep up.
Graham and I have been to Worlds of Fun.
We went there.
I loved it.
That was my first showbiz job ever.
I was a gunfighter.
When the train would come around and it would rob, that was me.
Thank you.
Mike Ciccone probably robbed some of your childhoods, ladies and gentlemen.
Mike Ciccone robbed from his own children.
He took two lighters to give to you.
And then I mentioned her name on the podcast, so she's on the hook.
Also in the bag, a copy of Schmovie, the hilarious game of outlandish films.
Which they keep sending me boxes of these things, and I have to travel around.
I hope the TSA doesn't think schmovie is some sort of movement or something, because it's always in my bag, a schmovie.
But they say they're making a smaller version of it, so I'm like, good, send me those, because these big ones are just going to end up in the garbage.
And then also a T-shirt from Chameleon Glass.
Thanks for holding that.
Very much.
So all of that's going into the prize bag.
Yeah!
Well, before we play games,
I always like to check in with everybody
and see what they're seeing at the cinema
or at home on their Netflix or wherever.
Graham Elwood, what's the last movie you saw?
I believe I was sitting next to you while you watched it.
Yes, you were.
I did not squeeze in a second movie between the 12.30 showing of Straight Outta Compton and Coming Here.
So, yeah, we saw that at the Alamo Draft House.
That was amazing.
Loved it.
Highly recommended.
And the soundtrack, like I would say see it on a big screen with good sound because the soundtrack was awesome.
All those actors, it was great.
I loved it.
It's just very well cast, like everybody.
I mean, Ice Cube's kid plays Ice Cube, but everybody else is just extremely well cast.
And, I mean, he's good at it, too.
He does a good job.
I mean, I don't want to get any out there.
What is Ice Cube's son's name, Graham?
O'Shea Jackson Jr.
Oh, there you go.
All right.
Nobody gave a shit that I knew that.
I thought he'd have fun with it and be like shaved ice.
How hard is it to remember that?
It was on the screen.
It's O'Shea Jackson Jr., Ice Cube.
The man to your right didn't remember it.
And you're stunned about that.
Well, they were all new names to me.
I don't know the guy who played Dr. Dre or Eazy-E, but MC Ren.
I think they all did a great job.
And the guy who plays Snoop Dogg is good.
I'm saying too much.
I don't want to give away what happens.
Spoiler alert. NWA not still together.
Yeah, some things don't work out, but...
What a pleasant way of putting that.
But it's mostly, like, the surprising thing to me is how...
I mean, I know they're all badass, we know that about them,
but also they just really bring a likability to all of them
that I wasn't necessarily expecting.
Especially Eazy-E, who I knew the least about.
And that guy, the guy who played Eazy-E, did an amazing job, too.
He's like the bulk of the movie.
The scenes with him and Paul Giamatti are just awesome.
Like, it's a really solid film.
And Paul Giamatti played Suge Knight?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has got range, Paul Giamatti.
I'll tell you why.
Oh, he's unbelievable. I'm telling you. He hangs vanilla ice out range, Paul Giamatti. I'll tell you that. Oh, he's unbelievable.
I'm telling you.
He hangs vanilla ice out of a second story window.
It's badass.
There is some Suge activity in the film.
Some solid Suge-ness.
Yeah.
Yeah, he does some stuff.
What about you, Mike?
Do you go see movies like that with your kids
now I guess
I live vicariously
through their movies
and they tell me
how cool they are
and then I don't
usually go
um
I see
my latest
I saw Still Alice
a real uh
upbeat
kinda
oh yeah
the kids love it
that's a
that's a frothy
romp
yeah
like if you if you like to be dehydrated at the end of the movie from fucking tears That's a frothy romp. Yeah.
If you like to be dehydrated at the end of the movie from fucking tears, that's the movie for you, baby.
Well, I'll tell you, Straight Outta Compton, strangely, has a lot of sad parts.
I bet.
Yeah.
It ends up being pretty moving.
Another one that really wrecked me recently was a documentary about Amy Winehouse.
I wanted to see that.
It's so heavy, but also it's uplifting because it just celebrates that she was a pretty amazing artist.
They have a lot of her songs in the movie, and I've never understood what the fuck she's saying.
It all gets explained.
They have subtitles that have all the lyrics, so it's much easier to follow.
And I got to verify, yes, you did just say Roger Moore in a song.
And, yeah, so it's pretty neat.
Yeah, when my daughter, again, introduced me to her before, she was famous.
And on the way to school, she played her in the car.
And I said, this is some old black lady, right?
And she said, no.
It's like a 24-year-old British chick.
And I'm like, holy shit.
She was fantastic.
I loved to watch her perform, too.
I mean, she was just so passionate.
The one problem I had with that documentary is they didn't use enough.
They didn't cut to the interview.
They interviewed all these.
They got all these great interviews, right?
Her ex-husband, her manager, her friend,
saying these really heartfelt things.
They had amazing behind-the-scene footage,
which I thought the director used well,
but then they wouldn't,
like the mom saying,
oh, you know, she's a little girl.
She said, you know, mother,
I'm going to just eat whatever I want
or throw it up.
And I didn't think it was a problem at the time.
Then there's this long pause,
but I guess
it maybe should have done
something about that.
And I'm like,
I would have loved
to have seen the mom's face
as those like,
that just comes crashing down
on her in the interview,
but they never showed any,
and I know it was
a directorial choice,
and it just drove me
a little crazy,
because I was like,
I want to see all these people,
the regret in all of their voices.
It just bummed me out.
I would like to see film of her watching the movie back.
I've made a mistake or two.
Excuse me, I have a note. Could you cut that?
I don't look too good.
All right.
I liked it.
Lou Geese, did you see it?
Did you like it?
He loved it, so set up, Graham.
Didn't say I didn't love it.
Said the director should have brought me in more emotionally.
I should have been crying at the end of that one, and I wasn't because I was fucking frustrated.
You don't have a heart.
Yeah.
The last one I saw was Love and Mercy, the Brian Williams movie.
Oh, so good.
And I love my father.
God, that poor guy.
That guy, Brian Mercy, his father just destroyed him.
You just look at everything.
If you wanted to get sucked into that, I was like, oh, God, he should have gone crazy quicker with that fucking childhood.
He's just writing these songs and these things that came out of him.
But it was really, really good.
That's a good film.
Yeah, it's good.
There's not as much of it in Straight Outta Compton,
but in both movies I did like that there was something put into the creating of music
and how it's done, you know,
because usually if it's a life like Brian Wilson's had,
they would concentrate pretty solely on all the bad things that happened to him
and not show him creating so much amazing music.
They focused on the process.
Does Giamatti play the psychiatrist in that one?
No, he's a manager too, and in both of these films,
it's kind of like, dude, settle down, man.
You're really getting in a little
too personal with your clients' lives. But isn't that what managers do, guys?
What? Yeah, skim tin and hit you later, motherfucker. That was my manager most of the time.
The last movie I saw was a film called Straight Outta Compton that I enjoyed a great deal.
I thought the director should have showed more of the emotion in how –
Yeah, there we go.
There's a great example.
You never show NWA talking about Amy Winehouse for a second, and I really thought that would be a great moment to see how sad they were.
All those close-ups of the Eazy-E character feeling heartfelt.
Wouldn't it have been great to not see that and to just show
behind the scenes of those guys backstage
being crazy? Wouldn't that have been better
than seeing their fucking faces have
real emotional moments?
Got it, Graham. Got it.
Should have gone to rehab.
I think
Graham needs to rip a bowl, don't you think?
I think, yeah. I think also those
people around Amy are just in shock because as often happens in those things, you really don't.
Unfortunately, people don't see these things coming.
Because like Kurt Cobain, Montage of Heck has a lot of similar.
Like everyone's just sort of like, yeah, it was just we knew he was not happy, but didn't expect that or didn't know what to do to stop it.
On that fun note...
Speaking of blowing your head off with a shotgun
while on a heroin coma,
let's play some movie games.
Let's do a round of love-like, hate-hate-like.
People love it.
There's nothing at stake yet.
Name tags haven't been chosen.
It's just sort of a fun little round of opinions being thrown around.
And it shouldn't get as ugly as it just did.
But you never know, because there's going to be some powerful choices here.
I'm going to name an actor or actress, and then we're going to just go through one at a time.
We'll start with Graham there on the other end.
First we'll do love, a movie by that person that you love.
Then we'll do like, hate, and then a movie you hate yourself for liking.
You can pass once if you don't want to insult somebody for whatever reason.
if you don't want to insult somebody for whatever reason.
I think on the last show somebody didn't have a love for whoever it was,
didn't love one of their movies, which was sad.
Let's do Meryl Streep because she's got this new movie out right now, Ricky and the Flash, and she's done a lot of movies.
Graham, what's a Meryl Streep movie that you love?
I'll go Deer Hunter.
There you go.
Speaking of uplifting.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a super fun film.
Starts out boring with a wedding, but then ends really fun with suicide games.
Ow!
Ow!
Yeah, and a tiger trap or whatever.
That was amazing.
Honey, get the kids.
Ow!
Yeah, I actually lived next door to the guy
who was the stunt coordinator on that.
And you know when they just escape from that,
the ow scene, the guys, they turn and shoot the guys,
and that scene where they're escaping down the river, and the one guy breaks his leg, and they have to drag him along.
And they shot it forever, and then the guy wanted to reshoot it.
And he was the guy who, was it Michael Cimino?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, who ruined the studio with Heaven's Gate by shooting and overshooting and overshooting.
It cost him zillions of dollars.
And he wanted to reshoot that scene.
And the guy, my neighbor, said, fuck no.
We got it, man.
You're not going to ruin the studio again.
And in the movie, I think they got it.
He was very, what's the word, like omniscient.
He predicted that that would happen with Heaven's Gate
because Heaven's Gate of course was after
the deer hunter
the success of the deer hunter
is why they gave him so much money for
Heaven's Gate and then he went way over
and never got that right
they let him shoot that
roller skating scene in the barn in Heaven's Gate?
What the fuck was that?
Yeah, he was on the set of The Deer Hunter going,
I know what happened with Heaven's Gate, Marty!
Don't go over on The Deer Hunter also!
It'll cause a domino effect that'll ruin film forever!
You're right.
You're right.
God, and he smoked so much weed. How does he remember all that shit? You're right. You're right. Was that the guy? God, and he smoked so much weed.
How does he remember all that shit?
You're right.
That is not the story.
I think that's how it went.
I'm just guessing.
Well, I think you're right.
No, because he told me the story, and now that you said it back to me, he went, that
is what he said.
Yeah.
So what about, do you have a movie by Meryl Streep or with Meryl Streep that you love?
Passionate about?
Well, Sophie's Choice.
Wow, that's interesting that you would choose.
Another laugh riot.
Yes, because I have two daughters, too,
and sometimes I play that game in my head just for fun.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And ironically, one of them is named Sophia.
Sophie's choice.
But she doesn't always win the game in my head.
And the winner changes week to week, depending on who's fucking pissing me off.
I'm going with the Devil Wears Prada just to lighten it up a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
Make it.
You can't go wrong with Meryl Streep.
Yeah, nothing makes me happier than little Anne Hathaway in my life.
She's probably most likable in that.
She's in this new one with Robert De Niro, the intern,
and it looks kind of charming from Nancy Meyers of It's Complicated.
But for my love for Meryl Streep,
I'm going to go with a motion picture she did with Albert Brooks
called Defending Your Life.
Yes.
Yes, thank you very much.
Good job.
It's a very good decision on my part,
but I got to think about it ahead of time for a few minutes.
These guys are getting sprung on them.
So, Graham, is there a Meryl Streep movie that you merely like?
Oh, merely like.
Yeah, you don't go crazy over it, but it's worth a moment of people's time.
I like it.
It's not the three-hour-long deer hunter bum out.
I'll go the, what's her name when she plays, what, the Iron Lady?
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, she plays Margaret Thatcher.
That movie's not the greatest movie in the world,
but her portrayal of Margaret Thatcher I thought was good.
You know what I mean?
I got to see her face in close-ups.
Were you emotionally connected?
Because I know that's a pet peeve of yours
if you're not emotionally connected.
Yeah.
Tied in.
Mike, what's one that you just like?
That I just like?
Julian Julia.
The Julia Childs movie.
You're like a foodie.
You like all the cooking.
Yeah, I kind of love it, but I had to put it down just a notch
because it wasn't that interesting a person to do a movie about,
but she made it better.
But I really liked it.
For the sake of answering your question.
I liked watching food.
God, I just love to eat, and the food looks...
Wasn't it?
Yeah.
Too bad Meryl Streep wasn't in the Jon Favreau movie.
About?
Chef.
That'd be perfect then For our purposes here
Yeah
Would she play
John Leguizamo's character in that
And just be like
I'm going to help you
With the tapas
Or whatever
I'm going to make empanadas
Is that how
I'm just trying to have vision
I'm trying to figure out
How she would
People that say
She could play anything though
Need to check out her scene
As a rabbi
In Angels in America
and just go, okay, we've got to draw the line somewhere.
It's a lady pretending to be an old rabbi.
That's ridiculous.
Do you want to also go with Julie and Julia?
That's what I was going to go with.
I don't mind.
That's cool.
Because you kind of like it.
All right.
It's kind of a chick flick for dudes, right, because of all the food.
And Julia Child was a hilarious character.
Yeah.
The way she spoke.
Dan Aykroyd's portrayal was the best.
He was just bleeding.
That was great.
I wanted to see that scene in there.
Yeah, they don't cut themselves enough.
That's for sure.
They don't cut themselves enough.
Here's one that I like.
It's kind of a fun adventure film, The River Wild,
where she kind of plays a badass who gets into some situations with the evil Kevin Bacon,
and she figures out ways to fight back.
They actually have at least one hand-to-hand combat scene, I think, and she holds her own.
So I say good for her.
Good for her. Good for her.
I like it.
All right, guys, it's time to release the venom.
Graham, what are you angriest at about her career?
What movie did Meryl Streep do that you hated?
That fucking dumb one where they sang the whole time.
Mamma mia.
Yeah, that fucking bag of dicks.
I'm in. I can't. I'm in. Mamma Mia. Yeah, that fucking bag of dicks. I'm in. I'm in.
Mamma Mia.
I'm in. You guys didn't really
see that movie, though. I hated on
principle.
The goddamn movie poster made you want
to punch it in the face.
When I bet it was, Abba didn't even go.
Do you have one, Mike?
The one she made with Roseanne Barr Oh yeah, She-Devil
She-Devil, yeah
Oh, with that thing on her face
Like I'm the one that you talk with
With that thing on my face
I was like, really, Meryl?
Do you need the dough that bad?
Yeah, that was the one she dipped below the bar for me
You want the summer house? Okay Yeah, yeah was the one she dipped below the bar for me. You want the summer house?
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was Bruce Willis in She-Devil?
Mm-mm.
No.
Mm-mm.
Death Becomes Her.
Yeah.
Posted with a hole in someone's stomach and...
Goldie Hawn.
Right, right.
That movie's not so bad.
Yeah, that's just above that half a rung.
That was good.
Can I change my food movie to that one?
Wait, what?
Never mind.
Oh, Death Becomes Her is now your, like...
The category wasn't food movies, by the way.
You moved fucking categories on us.
No.
Pay attention.
But Death Becomes Her is a great food movie, you guys.
Well, if we're going to go food movies, then I say The Road.
Oh, really? You moan that food movies, then I say The Road.
Oh, really?
You moan that, you fucking assholes?
The Road.
It's a good cannibal joke.
Don't moan it.
You're in a fake mall town.
It's all right.
There's a Beth Becomes Her sign right over there.
Speak of the devil.
Beth Becomes Her. If you had any more questions about that movie, just show us the poster.
Show us the poster.
I saw a play on stage that I enjoyed a great deal
and thought, oh, it's got an all-star cast,
including Meryl Streep.
Maybe they'll turn it into a good movie.
But I really hated August Osage County.
Yeah, I liked that movie.
I'm sorry.
Why?
I really dug it.
It's a few hours away from the kids.
Just a few hours away from the kids.
Well, unfortunately, she played my first mother-in-law exactly.
And you liked that?
Well, I was intrigued by it.
I loved watching it because I kept drawing parallels.
But I kind of liked it overall.
Okay.
You didn't see it on stage first?
No, I did not.
You just saw the play and the movie?
I saw the play a couple times, and then I saw the movie,
and I really loved the place.
That's why that movie annoyed me.
They just put as many famous people in there as they could.
Okay.
It's a family in the South,
and Ewan McGregor and Benedict Cumberbatch are in it.
Yeah.
And it's just like, okay, yeah, they're great actors.
They could show off and pretend to be southern idiots,
but why not just hire some real southern idiots, give them a chance?
And it was real southern because they had a little incest going on.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
It was very southern. It's got everything.
It's got everything I look for in a movie, but...
It was like a three-hour play and they put on a two-hour movie. That's what I look for in a movie It's like a three hour play
And they go on a two hour movie
That's what I look for in a movie
Some good cousin fucking
I'm from Missouri
We like a little good cousin fucking now and then
Yeah cousin fucking
Well that gets a laugh
And the road
Graham do you have a Meryl Streep movie that you hate yourself for liking?
I hate, the reason I brought it up, I hate the fact that I love Death Becomes Her.
I hate that movie.
It's so stupid and it's on TV and I watch it and I'm like laughing and I think it's great.
I'm like, oh, close the blinds.
I'd rather have my neighbors hear me watching porn than like
going oh Goldie
how
but it gets me every time
it's also though
it is interesting from the perspective of
the insanity of
plastic surgery and having things done
to try to remain young
looking you know and how they both
go over the top with it until they're both, like, twisty weirdo pretzels
that are still fighting each other
and hitting each other with shovels and shit.
And the fact that Bruce Willis is just, like,
usually he's always the badass
and that he's just like,
fumble McGillicuddy, boink, boink.
Like, that I love.
He can do it all.
Yeah.
He can be Bruce, he can be Bruno.
Oh, yeah.
The man's got a lot of reign.
Fumble McGillicuddy.
That was my rap name, by the way.
Fumble McGillicuddy.
I saw that.
Back in college.
Yeah, you were ahead of the curve on that.
White rap hadn't really caught on when Fumble was in the game.
Do you have a
mic? Do you have one
that you hate that you like?
You like that you hate? That I like that I
hate? You hate yourself for liking it.
Are we still on Meryl Streep?
Yeah, let's finish it off
with a little Meryl Streep.
Again, does not have
to be food related.
But it needs to have Meryl Streep in it.
I don't love that I hate anything that she's in.
I really dig her.
And I didn't see Abba, so, you know.
Right, that might be yours if you loved it
but hated yourself for it.
Yeah, I love that I didn't see it.
That's good.
That fits.
That's good.
Sure, sure.
I love the fact that I think she can do the accents
Except for the Jewish one
That you brought up
Which I didn't see
That was more an appearance thing
She looked like a lady
With a beard on
But yeah
Her accents are quite good
I hate that
And the other thing
With the English actors
When they do really good
American accents
And I sound like
We're walking here
No matter what the fuck I do
And they do it all the time
Like you watch them on a TV series
Then you see them on a talk show and they're like
Hey what's going on
You're like what the fuck house
I know and the Irish guys too
They look like you know I live under a bridge
And they're fucking doing
Oh I hate that shit
Do you have one that you like?
I need some choices.
I've gone through all the Meryl Streep ones I've seen,
so I need some choices.
What do I...
Okay, what about Bridges of Madison County?
Nah, I didn't see that.
What about Somebody Ate My Dingo?
Nah, I didn't see that.
Oh, the baby?
Somebody Ate My Dingo.
That's the movie poster.
I'm going to go with that.
I'm going to go with that
because I remember seeing it and I go,
oh, fuck.
I hope she eats the other one, too.
Stop.
Stop it with the dingo and the baby.
Yeah, it was a very unpleasant character that she played in that.
Of course, she was in Kramer vs. Kramer.
That was a good one.
That was good.
She sued for divorce in custody of that cute little boy, Dustin Hoffman.
It was like...
What was that?
Could you do that again?
That was so on the money.
There's going to be no chocolate chip.
There's going to be no chocolate chip.
What?
I don't know.
You have missed your calling.
You should have been an impressionist.
We have a really big blow-up over whether or not the kid can have some chocolate chip.
He takes the big spoon of it and he's like putting it closer.
He's like...
I just want you doing that.
I want that on my computer as a leap.
Never things are getting down.
I hate myself for liking
Mama Mia is what I wrote down.
Oh, Doug.
Wow.
We still love you, Doug.
I knew that would be an emotional finish to this game to satisfy Graham.
God damn it.
Sweet, sensitive guy.
But that was just for fun.
Now shit's about to get serious.
Let the games begin.
Yes.
What a lovely, lovely voice.
Love that.
That's great.
That's great.
All right, so gentlemen, pick your name tags and start your boners.
What?
I want this Gene Wilder lady.
While you guys do that, we'll do this.
Oh, you're fighting over her now?
I'll fight you over that.
We'll be right back.
Save big money at Menards.
All right, we're back.
Who are you playing for there, Graham?
I'm playing for Big Hero Caleb.
He took a Big Hero 6 poster and put his photo, yours, and mine on various characters.
Oh, let me see that.
Yeah.
Oh.
I almost went with the big Terminator head that had lights in the eyes.
That was pretty fucking sweet.
I got to give that credit.
Heidi 2, Judgment Day.
Why the hell didn't you pick that?
What's so special about this Big Hero 6 thing?
It had my picture on it.
Oh, okay.
Because the guy made a little version of you.
He crafted that.
Yeah, I'm Go-Go Tamago.
All right, Mike, who are you playing for? You've got a lot of business on the back there.
Yeah, I'm playing for Taylor Wonka at the Chocolate Factory.
Pretty clever, changing Willie to Taylor.
Yeah, it's so close and almost rhymes, Taylor and Willie.
But that is a nice giant picture of Gene Wilder.
Exactly.
That's why I picked it.
I love Gene Wilder, and it's just a great shot of him.
All right.
No tampering, just him.
Well, hang on to that, and I'll try to remember the name is Taylor.
And Beth becomes her, of course.
Yes, I had to pick Beth.
How could we forget that?
That's who Adam picked.
That's right.
Right there.
You look good in that.
You get it.
Doesn't Beth look good?
Like he's in a tuxedo, like he's passing a stone?
Yeah, I could have been much better than Bruce Willis in that role.
And with Beth, of course.
All right.
All right, that's who you guys are playing for.
I'm going to run you through a series of games.
This first game, we're going to start with Adam
and work our way across to Graham.
And it's called How Much Did This Shit Make?
It's a movie where you all have to guess
how much a movie made at the domestic box office,
according to boxofficemojo.com,
in millions without going over.
There's a movie out right now
that people are hating
on quite severely. I have not
seen it for that very reason.
I trust the world on this.
It's called The Fantastic Four.
Yeah, and
they say it's not going to, you know,
it certainly
doesn't seem to be the one that's going to revive that franchise.
But I want to go back to, you know, when this one, when the word first started coming out that it wasn't good,
I was like, well, how much worse could it be?
You know, could it possibly be worse than the last time they tried with the Fantastic Four movie?
And so that's what I want to go back to Is the Fantastic Four from 2005
How much money
Domestically
In its whole run
Do you think it made
Adam Ferrara
Fantastic Four
One with Alba
Jessica Alba
Somebody just knocked their drink over
Because they probably got married
To that movie or something.
That was our wedding song.
That 90-minute bag of shit.
I need to return this thing costume.
Flame on!
How much did it make?
Yeah, what do you think?
Basically, total.
There's no reason to know, but you might have a good guess.
I got nothing.
I will go with the domestic interior.
What are we thinking?
86 million.
Okay.
Mike, Tony.
Domestic, 86 million.
Adam says 86 million.
Well, I feel I need to confess that that spill of a drink was just a distraction
while Taylor Googled the actual fact and showed it to me on a cue card.
So I know actually that it domestically sold $124 million.
Okay, I don't know if that's fair the way that just went down.
I'm just kidding. That's just a lie
It's a total
Just kidding
Taylor would not do that
Look at that
Are you really?
Seriously?
Did you do that?
No, she did not do that
I was fucking around
They didn't do anything
Why do I listen to him?
He steals from his children
Graham
I will go with Grab. Grab.
I will go with $50 million in cash.
You do know that then they made Fantastic Four Silver Surfer,
so they must have been somewhat encouraged.
$150 million.
He was about to round up.
I heard that.
Okay, so you start with $50,
and then you're adding another $150?
Just to $100 million. You're calling it $200?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
$100 million.
Okay.
Well, unfortunately,
you're not allowed to go over in this game.
So I said $150 million.
And so you're our winner
because it was $154 million.
Really?
Yep.
Book it. Slam dunk.
Cheater.
That's just the first game.
All he wins is the opportunity to go
first in this next game.
And this is
a relatively new addition to the show
that I enjoy playing called Whose Tagline
Is It Anyway?
Alright. People love it.
I'm going to say, starting with
Graham, and then we'll go to Mike and then
Adam, a catchphrase
from a motion picture.
Might not be a terribly memorable one
or a memorable motion picture,
but just guess what movie
this was a tagline for.
And if Graham misses it,
then Mike has a chance to steal.
So everybody,
pay attention.
Okay.
What movie, Graham,
had the catchphrase,
the third dimension
is terror.
What?
Fucking, I don't know, Hellraiser 2.
Well, that would be really interesting
if they did that with Hellraiser 2.
Okay, so Graham is incorrect.
$150 million.
How much Hellraiser 2 means?
Mike, do you have any idea?
I'm just waiting to see if it's actually my turn because I know how Graham likes to keep guessing
no it is your turn
the third dimension is terror
2001
Space Odyssey
2001 Space Odyssey
that is also wrong
we go to Adam
August Osage County
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding, ding, ding.
It's actually a motion picture.
It was in the play.
I didn't know it made the movie.
The correct answer, I know that wins most fun answer, but the correct answer is Jaws 3D.
The third dimension is terror.
Oh, Jesus.
You're kidding. I'm the worst at that
game. Is it Dennis Quaid?
Yeah, Dennis Quaid. Chain Smokes.
Yeah, Chain Smokes. And they couldn't get Roy
Scheider, so they got the wife.
And Louis Gossett Jr. was... I'll do it.
Yeah, Lorraine Gary was in all of them.
That script was so bad, they almost didn't get the shark.
The robot shark is really going to need another...
He wants to do other things.
He doesn't...
He's got a Broadway one-man show.
I'm selling.
He's an equus.
All right, you guys.
It was great.
Let's do another one.
Let's see if anybody can get this one.
Start with Graham again.
We're all so good at it.
Safety never takes a holiday.
Starting with Graham.
Safety never takes a holiday.
No audience guesses, please.
Especially when you're right.
Those are the ones I hate the most Safety
This is a comedy
Or an attempted one
Paul Blart, Mall Cop
That is correct
Yeah Mall Cop? That is correct. Yeah!
I knew it wasn't the second one. I thought I'd throw in a gimme for Adam.
Because you knew it, right?
Adam was in...
You didn't know it or you did?
I didn't know.
You did know.
Yeah, you recognized it right away.
I know the guy who wrote it,
so I'm like,
fuck, why couldn't I get that question?
I got to get Meryl Streep's 16th movie
that you kind of liked that's the shit that I get the wheel stops on me after all the ones I've seen
are gone well we start with Mike because you guys are still in it even though Graham got that one
right but if you if you miss now you get you're out I'm just gonna give you $25 I'm so sorry
I you know I dare say I mean there's a couple of nice items in that bag, but that's pretty close to the value of the bag.
So it's a win-win for her.
And if the cops show up and ask questions about the lighter, you don't know me.
So fans can just, like, get a buyout?
They're like, I don't want that bullshit.
Just take the cash value.
Like, I don't need it. That Just take the cash value. Like, I don't need.
That is an interesting new twist to the game.
I got to throw all that shit in my bag again and fly home with it.
Tired of being a mule with smoothies.
Bunch of smoothies up my ass.
Pawning off a kind bar to the lady that's cleaning the room
There you go, it's blueberry
That's why it's unbroken
Because we didn't have to travel
Mike
Yes
What movie has the tagline
Expect the impossible
Mission Impossible
That's correct
Nice
I was going to say the first Hellraiser Now we go to Mission Impossible? That's correct. Nice.
I was going to say the first Hellraiser.
Now we go to Adam.
What movie had the tagline,
Expect the Impossible Again?
Road trip.
I'm going with Mission Impossible 2. I need a serious answer.
Is Mission Impossible 2?
That's correct, and that is the full title.
It's a three-way tie.
Mission Impossible 2.
Yeah, everybody's back in it.
We'll start with Graham again.
Graham.
Here we go.
This time it's war.
This time it's war This time it's war Can I have that again please
I'm sorry
I just
It's been bubbling up inside of me
And I just wanted to say that to you
That's not the actual tagline
It's just a challenge Okay it makes, and I just wanted to say that to you. That's not the actual tagline. Oh, okay. It's just a challenge.
Okay.
It makes sense.
Yeah.
This time it's war, Graham.
No, that's what it is.
This time it's war.
This time is a pretty good clue.
War of the Roses.
Which was, okay, sure.
Was not the one I'm going to choose.
No.
You can't just say titles and add I'm not going to choose it.
Alex Trebek wouldn't take that for a shit.
What if you phrase it as a question?
Yeah.
He's tried that.
Okay.
Graham's tried every trick in the book.
War games.
He's like, look over there, and I look over there, and I look back,
and he still doesn't know the answer. This time it's war. War games. He's like, look over there. And I look over there and I look back and he still doesn't know the answer.
This time it's war.
War games.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why I gave you another guess.
You're out.
Mike, what's the tagline?
This time it's war.
What movie?
Rambo?
Two?
I like the upgrade at the end.
There was a pause for dramatic purpose.
So it sounds like you're getting the concept of this time like there was a previous time.
That's good.
I'm learning from Graham how this shit works.
Just keep talking until you...
It should be Rambo because the Vietnam War was kind of a little police action,
but now that small town in Washington, it's fucking game on.
And I'm not correct, is I?
Nope.
No.
Adam, let me guess.
This time it's war?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And I've had time to think and I still got nothing.
Terms of Endearment? Nope.
It's a movie called Wartime. No.
That would be so awesome.
No, it was
a sequel and it was more of a battle
than the previous film because this was
for the movie Aliens.
Aliens. Oh, yeah.
Why did you say shit coming out of the stomach?
I would have got that.
Yeah.
Look out for that shit stomach.
Because, you know, in space, no one can hear you scream is probably the most famous and most parodied one for the movie Alien.
All right, Graham, you ready?
Yes.
From the humans who brought you Finding Nemo and Ratatouille.
What was that the tagline for?
What was that the clunky, not catchy, all business tagline?
From the humans who brought you Finding Nemo and Ratatouille.
That's not really a tagline.
That's just name dropping.
That's above the title. It's not really a tagline. That's just name dropping. I pulled it. That's above the title.
It's kind of an advertising line.
It's a positioning statement.
From the humans.
Is that WALL-E or Despicable Me?
That is correct.
WALL-E.
WALL-E.
Why can't you stop over guessing?
I said WALL-E.
Nice. But the movie's not called Wally and
Or maybe
Okay we go to Mike
What movie had the tagline
A comedy with great taste
Comedy with great taste
Jesus
That's the intention of the Christ Jesus taste. Caramity with great taste. Jesus.
That's the intention of the Christ. Jesus.
Just said
Jesus. That was the
title movie, Kurt.
It's not Braveheart.
With great
taste. That's a food
double meaning. It's very good. Tomorrow
we'll do shapes.
taste. That's a food double meaning. It's very good. Tomorrow
we'll do shapes.
I'm sorting. I'm processing.
I'm going to go
with Ratatouille.
That is also correct.
No!
Good job.
Exciting round.
All right, Adam. You got to get this one.
Let's go.
Nothing is on the line.
What movie had... Is that the tagline?
Nothing is on the line?
Yeah.
Nothing important happens.
What's that the tagline from?
No, it's...
This one is...
Save the day.
Save the day.
I know. They're basically just suggesting that you should save the day. Save the day. I know.
They're basically just suggesting that you should see the movie.
Oh.
Save that particular day for it.
I know.
Oh, good for you.
I think so.
I got a decent guess.
All right.
Save the day.
I think I know it.
Yeah.
I'll be for the two of you.
Can you shut the fuck up?
I'm processing
Beth
$35
I'm sorry baby
If it's not Groundhog Day
Which I don't think it is
No
That's your guess?
Groundhog Day?
No, because I know it's wrong
Can I guess at it?
Or is it going to be
It's going to go to Graham
Okay
It's going to go to Graham
He won't know it
And then Mike is going to bring this thing home.
Jesus.
That's not fair.
That's just my prediction.
All right.
I predicted Heaven's Gate.
Why couldn't I predict...
Anything?
I got nothing.
All right.
Graham?
Ferris Bueller's Day Off?
Nope.
No.
Mike?
Is it Die Hard?
Oh, I thought you would just bring it home right now.
Oh, shit.
Because in the theme that I had running there, that was the tagline for The Incredibles.
Ah.
Yeah.
I'm super psyched about Incredibles 2.
Let me just say that right now.
Well, you should save the day.
Right?
I'm going to save...
Time to save a day again is going to be the tagline for Incredibles 2. You missed the first day. Right? I'm going to save... Time to save a day again is going to be the
tagline for Incredibles 2.
You missed the first day.
I thought there was going to be more to that.
I thought that... Yeah, I was waiting for...
You missed the first day.
Uh-oh, Adam's mic cut out again.
Nobody spiked it.
Let's see how we're doing on time, everybody.
Oh, we're doing pretty good, I think.
Good.
Yeah.
It's a nail biter.
Yeah.
Let's play a game that's sort of new to the show, and it's a lot of fun.
Let's play the reverse molten game.
Is this the one?
Is this for the points and everything?
Yeah, we're playing to two points.
This is the one that will determine
who's the winner today.
No, it's the opposite of the lightning round.
Especially when Graham is one of the participants.
Because he has to run through in his head
every Leif Garrett movie
that he could think of.
Both of them?
Yeah.
He should do Leif Garrett.
It's quite taxing.
Yeah, Last Man Stanton with Leif Garrett.
I would play that game forever.
Yeah, just a lot of stalling.
So, no, this is a a little complicated but I trust
you guys are going to
jump right on board
Graham gets to go first he gets to
pick the first movie that we're going to
play I'll give him three choices
he'll name which one of those movies he thinks
he knows the most amount of actors
who participated in that film
then I'll tell you guys what
Leonard Maltin says
in terms of actors.
And then, basically, you have to start bidding
on how many of those actors you think you can name,
in any order,
but you have to put the ones listed by Mr. Maltin in this.
Beth, I'm just going to write you a check.
You never know.
You never know which movies might...
I'm confused with the setup.
Well, you're going to figure it out when it gets to you.
Smokey the Bandit!
Don't yell it.
Just yell out titles.
Okay.
We're going to...
Graham's going to pick one.
And, Graham, I'd like you to choose between Superman, Superman Returns, and Man of Steel.
Which one of those do you think you know more of the actors who appeared in that film?
I'll go Superman.
You're talking about the 1978 Christopher Reeve Superman?
Wait, what's happening?
Which one do you want to go with?
I'll go with Superman.
Just Superman?
The first.
Yeah, not Superman Returns.
Yeah, just the first one.
Okay.
The early one.
1978.
Sure, sure.
I was thinking the George Reeves one.
That one's great.
Leonard lists 20 names, and including the one that you've already said out loud,
how many names from that original Superman do you think you can name, Graham?
I want to look at the other guys, see if they seem confident.
That is brilliant, Adam.
That is brilliant.
Mike's a poker player, so I don't know what he's doing,
what's going on in his head.
I'm all in.
Nice.
I will go with...
There's 20 names.
I know.
It's crazy.
I'm looking right at him,
and I can only do like four.
Oh, I feel better.
I had three.
All right. Oh, I feel better. I had three.
Yeah, I'll do four.
All right.
So then we go to Mike, and Graham says he can name four.
So your options are to bid higher.
Like if you think you can name five actors from Superman from 1978, then you can bid accordingly.
But if you don't think you can do it, just challenge Graham, and then right before our eyes, he has to come up with those four names.
Okay.
I'm going to be forced to challenge because I can only think of three.
So, Graham?
It seems like most people would be in that zone.
I'm passing it back to you. People in this audience that can name more, of course.
Right.
So, Graham, we won't say whether he's right or wrong on any of these until he's gotten four names out of his mouth.
Which four actors can you name?
I'll go Christopher Reeve.
I'll go Ned Beatty.
Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. I'll go Ned Beatty.
Wow.
Wow. Wow.
I was expecting you to do three without um coming into play.
I literally just blanked on all the names.
Superman.
That was Christopher Reeve.
1978.
I was playing Ned Beatty.
And, of course, Lex Luthor.
We all know who that was played by.
Don't try to egg the audience into giving you answers.
Yeah, these people are smart.
They know all of them.
I'm not going to fall for that shit.
But they might be Team Graham.
Can I steal from back there?
Yeah, Amy Adams was not in this Superman.
Wrong Superman.
No, you can't steal from Graham, unfortunately.
It's up to him to make this happen.
He's running out of time.
Lois Lane?
You can't flop over to fictional names.
You have to try to come up with who played her.
And Carl Weathers.
Somebody yelled out Apollo Creed.
Thank you for listening to the episode for Monday, folks.
Clarence Weathers.
Charlie Withers I don't see a Charlie Withers on this list
20 names
You've named two
Gonna have to call time on you
In the next 7 to 15 minutes
Start shouting random names
This makes me so mad
When this happens and I blank on them
And then I'm gonna get 10,000 tweets.
Yeah, I can see all of the movies these people were in.
Well, Gary Cooper, the guy who played the...
Okay, so Gary Cooper is your third guest.
What's your fourth guest?
Gary Cooper.
Jackie Cooper.
Jackie Cooper.
Okay, so that's your fourth guest?
No, I'm replacing Gary with Jackie.
Okay, that's not how it works, but one more name.
You have five seconds.
God damn it.
Two, one.
The guy from Royal Tenenbaums.
Oh, yes, of course.
He changed his name to the guy from the Royal Tenenbaums, so technically you're right.
This is the dumbest thing.
Nice try, Graham.
He changed his name to the guy for the Royal Tannenbaum.
So technically you're right. This is the dumbest thing.
Nice try, Graham.
I'm going to give the point to Mike and then rub in your face that this movie also featured some little known actors
that went by the names Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman.
Gene Hackman.
I couldn't fucking come up with Gene goddamn Hackman.
The Tannenbaum's guy.
The Tannenbaum's guy.
You know the Tannenbaum's guy? You know the Tannenbaum's guy?
You know the Mooseport guy?
Yeah, the guy that's been in 500 movies.
I can quote lines from all of the movies he's been in,
but I can't think of Gene God damn Hackman.
He played Popeye in that one movie.
Any consolation, you're the only one that really knows
his middle name was God damn.
Margot Kidder, I think she was on the list.
Yes, Margot Kidder.
Valerie Perrine, yeah.
Valerie Perrine.
You guys are killing it.
This one I know.
All right, you get to pick the next category there, Adam.
Okay, what do you got?
You're in control.
Burp.
All right.
Yeah, I need to be burped.
I'm not sure.
And then we'll go right back at
Mike again
You get to pick between these three films
Here we go
This is 40
This is the end
Or this is Spinal Tap
Oh
Spinal Tap
Alright he's going with spinal tap.
Fast choice.
Yes.
Of course, from 1984
and Leonard lists
not as many as you'd think, considering how big
a cast it had. He just
lists eight names.
Or no, nine names.
Let's call it nine names.
So out of these nine names, how many do you think you can bid?
And you can bid as low as one if you want, you know, to go crazy.
I'm trying to...
Oh, fuck.
I just saw him.
I just saw it in his pants.
He's going through it.
He's taking it out.
Okay.
Look, I process in pictures, okay?
So do I.
Don't judge me.
Show us your work.
Show us your work.
I got four.
Oh, he's got four.
Four.
I'll go four.
He's saying four.
I'm going to go five.
Mike Ciccone says he can name five people from this is Spinal Tap.
You're a dick.
I'm going to go six.
Graham Elwood thinks he can waste the rest of our afternoon while he tries to pick.
The guy from that one thing?
The other fellow who once
did this?
So Graham says he can get six
of these, Adam.
He's got five.
You know, it's just what Leonard
lists, so I, you know,
can't really vouch for if he's going to pick the...
Seven.
Seven?
Seven.
Ah, wow.
Did not see that coming.
Ah.
I'm going to go eight.
What?
Going to.
Okay, that's.
My neck is out.
This could decide the game right here.
Name it.
All right.
Okay, so you've got to name eight people
from this spinal tab
that are on that list, correct?
That are on this list of nine people.
It just doesn't seem
likely
to happen,
but it keeps the game going, that's for sure.
If you don't get it.
If you do get it,
we are going to demolish this place.
Get ready to wreck the John Close. Get ready to wreck the joint.
Get ready to flip over your tables.
Watch for broken glass.
It's very dangerous.
In an orderly manner.
In an orderly manner.
Me and Adam have a show here at 7, but fuck it.
We don't care.
Cancel the early show.
It's broken anyway.
I don't even have a mic stand.
Fuck it.
We don't care.
Cancel the early show.
It's broken anyway.
I don't even have a mic stand.
All right.
You need eight names.
All right.
I'm going to start with the lesser parts.
Oh, that seems like a bad move, but okay.
All right.
Thanks for sucking the confidence out of me, Doug.
I would just recommend going for the biggest names because they're more likely to be listed because they're not.
So if I say one that's not on there, do I automatically lose
or do you just say, nope, it's not on there?
Well, you need to name eight of them, yeah,
and they have to be ones that are on here.
All right.
That's why I...
If I were a betting man,
I would put a lot of money against
you right now
and you are a betting man I've seen you
alright here we go
no one will take this action
Jesus
a lot of fucking stalling right
what the fuck
I've learned from the best here we go What the fuck?
I've learned from the best.
Here we go.
All right.
Battle them off.
We're impressed no matter what you do.
We're all winners, Mike.
Billy Crystal.
Dana Carvey.
Paul Schaefer.
Fran Drescher.
Okay, you finally got one.
I just practiced my double take on that one.
What?
Who else?
Rob Reiner.
Okay.
How about someone in the band?
Yeah, there's a band called Spinal Tap. No.
I'm leaving those for the end because those are the easy guys.
But am I on five?
You've guessed five names.
Okay.
Two of those have been accurate.
Seriously?
I only hit two that are on the list?
Unfortunately, yes.
Shit.
Okay.
Then Christopher Guest.
Uh-huh.
Harry Shearer.
Uh-huh.
Michael McKeon.
That's your eight names.
So good job.
You definitely named eight people that were in that movie.
But unfortunately, by Leonard's list, Billy Crystal and Dana Carvey did not have large enough roles.
He did list Fran Drescher.
I mean, Dana Carvey and Billy Crystal both are like mimes in one scene.
Like they're barely in it.
Mimes is funny.
I thought that might make the list because they then became famous.
No, well, the guy who played the – no, that's not how this is done.
That's what I was trying to steer you away from, that kind of behavior,
because it's just basically more like just what the billing of the movie probably was.
I see.
The guy that played their manager, Tony Hendra, is listed fifth.
I got you.
And then June Chadwick, who I assume plays the girl that says it was recorded in Dubli.
And R.J. Parnell, I don't even know what character that was.
I don't know.
And David Caff made the list, whoever that is.
That's why I was worried for you when you said eight out of nine.
I misunderstood.
I think David Caff was going to make an appearance from your mouth.
But that just means that the game keeps going because Graham Elwood is the one who challenged you, so he's
got a point now. There you go.
Okay.
Adam gets to pick again and
determine everybody's fate. You did a great job
with that one. Thank you. That was an excellent
choice. Thank you. I like
to be judge and executioner. Led to
some very competitive play,
which I enjoy.
Would you like...
Splash, That Thing You Do, or Saving Private Ryan?
Which one of those three movies do you think you know the most or more than the other two players?
Splash.
Of the actors.
Another interesting choice. I'll go with Splash. Splash. Of the actors. Oh, another interesting choice.
We'll go with Splash.
Splash, also from 1984. I think I saw that with you.
Did you?
Yeah.
That was the Vegas Topless show.
Were you guys having a crazy bachelor night?
Or, I mean, married guy night?
Yeah, a little karaoke with Splash.
Yeah, there was a Vegas Topless show called Splash.
I think that's the one we saw together. Right, it doesn't explain. The Riviera. Yeah, there was a Vegas topless show called Splash. I think that's the one we saw together.
Right, at the Riviera.
Exactly, yeah.
Eight names.
Okay.
Wow.
And Adam gets to go first, and then Graham, and then Mike.
And, yeah, just eight names.
But how many of those do you think you could reel off?
Adam.
All right, hold on.
He wasn't in it You're not related to Jerry Ferrara
No
Good for you
He wasn't in it either
See I know Gene
He played the baby
Gene goddamn Hackman I think
No he wasn't
Gene Hackman is in this movie.
Oh, fuck.
Who's the guy?
Oh, shit.
No, because I can see the face.
That's terrible.
Oh, this is awful.
It's a tough game sometimes.
I got three.
Okay, he says he can name three.
Oh, yeah, that's not your final bid?
I got three so far.
I just want to see if I can get away with being on Grand Elwood time.
I could stall a little bit.
Go back to the Vegas story about the Riviera.
That always works.
Diversional stories.
That lady's fucking leaving.
She's just like, you just said three.
Bullshit.
I'm out of here.
Just three?
She just wants to get high again.
Give her a break.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, sweetheart. Your stalling is a high again. Give her a break. Go ahead. Your show is a little
too long for a typical high.
These guys were very rude, so I'm
going to wait until you get back.
Let's wait for her to smoke a bowl
outside.
He's saying three so far.
I got four. He's going four.
Four names, Graham, from the motion picture.
Splash.
Splash.
Oh, Adam Pereira, I'm going to need you to name it.
Okay.
All right, so you got...
Tom Hanks, Daryl Hatton, Eugene Levy, John Candy.
Those are four of the names out of eight.
Nice!
Three-way tie! Three-way tie!
Three-way tie!
Nice!
Nice.
You're one step closer to saving $35.
That's good.
Yeah, it gets tough With the remaining four names
I don't know if
I'm a big fan of the movie
But Doty Goodman
Richard B. Shull
Shecky Green
And Howard Morris
Shecky
Yeah
Shecky
Yeah
His big cinema debut
But it's mostly
Those top four
That do most of the
Heavy lifting
In that movie
I couldn't think Past that at all So so I was like, there's no way.
Yeah.
Good job.
Thank you for the empty encouragement.
Okay, so Adam won the point there after being challenged by Graham.
So that means we're going to start this final round, the determining round.
We're going to start with Mike and then go to Graham.
So good luck even getting to participate, Adam.
You might not have to.
Hey, man, she's got weed.
This table where the weed lady left is just going to slowly...
People are going to slowly get up one by one and just kind of...
Oh, I think I left something in the car.
Yeah.
As she left, I heard her say,
I'll leave the pipe on the back of the toilet.
Wow, it's like the Godfather with the gun.
Box of the chain thing.
You'll be good.
I don't want my brother just coming out there with a joint in his hand.
Nice.
Nice.
Sonny Corleone,
ladies and gentlemen. Very nicely done.
Alright, so
Graham gets to pick.
No, I thought Mike. Oh, Mike.
Then we'll go to Graham.
This is from me.
Mike. Yes. Which movie do you think you know the most people from?
Lethal Weapon, Lethal Weapon 2, or Lethal Weapon 4?
I bid one.
Just to confuse matters.
And I'm scared.
I bid one, and I'm very scared that I'll be challenged.
You've got to pick a movie first.
Oh. Before you bid. Lethal Weapon, be challenged. You've got to pick a movie first. Oh.
Before you bid.
Lethal Weapon, the first one.
Lethal Weapon, the first.
Hello, I'm Lethal Weapon, the first.
You fear me.
Bring before me what is mine, you unbelievers.
Seven names.
Seven names?
Yeah, he cracked out seven names for the first Lethal Weapon film from 1987.
How many of those?
I think I know how many you can name.
I'm not a fan of the series there.
Really?
Mm-mm.
Retroactively?
Oh, this will be fun.
Yeah.
You just can't go back and watch Mel Gibson anymore now that you know he's a horrible person?
Yeah, right.
I watched them back then, but then they erased them.
You'll be coming to a Seder at my house, I tell you that much.
It's an incident.
It's hard to root for Martin Riggs when you know he's sexist.
He's Field Marshal Martin Riggs when you know he's sexist. He's Field Marshal Martin Riggs.
I would like to thank you now
for giving me Mel Gibson just by bringing that
up. Now I'm...
Wait, there was any doubt about
whether or not
anyone was going to...
Oh, you said Mel Gibson.
Okay, now two.
Oh, you think I'm just going to keep talking and give away...
That's what I'm hoping for.
So is this broad.
So is this broad.
Look at this broad over here, hoping for the big fucking win.
There you go.
Some broad over here.
Got a bag of fucking treats for you, broad.
Take that back when you fucking clean your kitchen
That's right
Go buy some cleaning products with your $35
Who's the tomato that brought the cookie?
I told you to go wait in the truck
There's a bowl of water in there, you'll be fine
Nice gams
Don't smoke my weed There's a bowl of water in there. You'll be fine. Nice gams.
Don't smoke my weed.
She's never coming back.
Susan's outside smoking.
Happy to be high.
How many actors you take?
Two.
I'm bad.
Two. You're going to bid two?
Okay, Graham, can you name more than two people that participated in the original Lethal One film?
Yes, I will go three.
He says three, Adam.
Fuck, I had three.
How many are in it?
Take a second.
How many are in it?
He only lists seven.
He only lists seven.
Yeah.
Graham thinks he can name three of them.
I think the lady that played the psychologist, she just passed away.
She did. I think she did. What? You, she just passed away. She did.
I think she did.
What?
You got four?
There's a guy that says you have four.
Front table wants you to go four.
They're giving you a lot of confidence.
Telling you to bid four.
Yeah.
He's sending you telepathic messages.
They know you'll figure it out.
There's a broad out there with four fucking fingers up.
That's how much scotch I want in my goddamn drink.
Four fingers.
That's how much scotch I want in my goddamn drink. Or fingers. That's right.
Break them all, you guinea brat.
Now pick it up.
That was a scene from The Godfather.
That was Carlo.
Yes.
Oh, who played the...
No, she was in the second one.
Are you thinking of Joe Pesci?
It wasn't...
That was Gone Fishing.
That was Gone Fishing?
That was Joe Pesci and Danny Glover, yeah.
I thought it was the super.
You're mixing up your Danny Glover films.
Okay, there's another one out of the gate.
Boy, can we fuck up a game, huh?
Some real strategic play here today.
I think we got all three pretty much listed, right?
Not yet.
You're not going to trick me that way.
I'm going four.
He's saying four names.
Okay.
We've given you two.
Yeah.
Thank you. You got two on your own, you think.
Oh, and you gave me the two tough ones.
Thank you so much.
The guys on the poster.
Yeah.
Those two.
I'm going to have to throw it back at you because I got nothing.
Okay.
Well, there's Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Richard Donner.
And I hope Rene Russo was in the first one.
No.
Richard Donner. No, he wasn't.
Richard Donner directed it.
But he also played the...
He's not on the list.
No, smoking guy.
When he says, what does that say?
Yeah, but I don't give a fuck.
Is he on the list? That was him? I think says, what does that say? Yeah, but I don't give a fuck. Is he on the list?
That was him?
I think it was.
All right, well, you failed either way.
Oh.
Because he's not listed, and the most obvious may be...
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I say I was done?
Well, you said four names, and two of them were wrong, so...
Let's sort of jump to conclusions.
All right.
But do you want to name somebody else? I got it. Just for fun? Pee Wee Herman? I got nothing. and two of them were wrong, so I sort of jumped to conclusions. All right.
But do you want to name somebody else?
I got it. Just for fun?
Pee Wee Herman?
I got nothing.
Ha ha!
Gene goddamn Hackman?
Yeah, Gene Hackman plays the FBI agent.
Remember fighting on the lawn
with the bad guy, Mel Gibson, and...
Oh, fuck!
Oh, yeah.
Who was that?
That jackrabbit son of a bitch.
Oh.
Yeah.
He was also in Point Break.
Yeah, Gary Busey.
Gary Busey.
Fuck.
You know what?
The hair,
I thought that was Rene Russo.
That's where I fucked up.
Very much alike,
those two.
Gary Busey,
Rene Russo.
Yeah, then Mitchell Ryan
and Tom Atkins,
Atkins,
Darlene Love, and Tracy Wolfe. Darlene Love, shit. She was, Darlene Love and Tracy Wolfe.
Darlene Love, shit.
She was Danny Glover's wife and Tracy Wolfe was the daughter.
That was actually a good doctor.
And Riggs was like looking at the daughter and he was like, don't you look at my daughter.
And Riggs was like, I'm suicidal, I'll fuck anything I want.
I'm paraphrasing, paraphrasing.
That's right.
I think it was more internal monologue
It's just stuff I say to myself
Worst paraphrasing ever
Mike is our winner you guys
With two points
Come and get your prize bag Taylor Wonka
Congratulations Taylor Are you Taylor Wonka. Congratulations, Taylor.
Are you Taylor Wonka?
Oh, you brought donuts.
And you brought donuts.
You're an angel.
But there's also another name tag on here?
Oh, okay.
Thank you, table mates.
All right.
Table mates.
That's so nice of you.
Yeah, give her back her Wonka.
Do we need that piece of paper so you can read the thing?
No, because you won.
She got the contents of the prize bag.
Yeah, and this other Beth over here gets $35.
Boy, it looks like all the fucking broads are the winners tonight.
Yeah.
Let's hear it for the broads and a half.
Yeah, raise one for the broads.
Shake your tits, babies.
Wait, that went too far, you guys.
Whoa, whoa.
It was fun for a while.
I'm sorry.
I got caught up in the whole sexism of it.
That's good taste.
You've gone too far.
Take a step back that way.
Graham, does your thing have a shithead on the back there?
Yes, it does, Doug.
Can you pass it down to me?
You got it, buddy.
Oh, the whole thing.
Oh, boy.
That's a big one.
That's right, Doug.
Okay.
That's a weird one.
So,
we got some donuts up here.
Does that mean people in the audience want to get hit with them?
Oh, shit.
Graham, can you do the honors?
Of course. Oh, shit.
Ooh, that's a weird one.
Look at this fucking one.
Look at this one.
This one looks like the last scene of a porno.
Yeah.
Does anybody want the cream pie donut?
Somebody have a target I can try to hit?
I've got a tube sock under my bed that looks like that Hey, hold up the Arnold Schwarzenegger hat
I'm going to hit that thing right in the fucking face
Hey Doug, you know what?
It's not a tuba
Oh no
You guys want to throw donuts?
Just grab one and throw it at something.
Yeah, and one-arm catch.
Oh, that dude's soft.
Hey, but a broad got it.
Eat up, sweetie.
There you go.
Happy birthday.
Here, have a birthday donut.
Yeah.
Eat your goddamn birthday donut, birthday boy.
Whip your dick out and play ring toss, you fucking moan.
Wait a second.
Oh, this fucking day.
I don't know why I became that.
Happy birthday, sir.
Thank you for spending it this afternoon with us.
You're a lovely human being.
One more time for Graham Elwood.
He has to go.
I'll be in the lobby.
I got comedy film nerd books and all that other palm strike stuff.
Thank you so much.
Graham, tell us real quick again the details about L.A. Podfest coming up soon.
Yes, Los Angeles Podcast Festival, September 18th through the 20th.
Come out to L.A. if you're in Kansas City or wherever.
Tickets, discount hotel rooms are at lapodfest.com.
If you can't make it to L.A.,
we will be doing a live video stream
of all 40-plus shows and panels.
And that costs $25.
And if you use coupon code...
Doug.
Doug.
Or no, it might be D-L-M.
It might be D-L-M.
It's D-L-M, I think.
It's D-L-M. If you use coupon code D-L-M or the dining with Doug and Carrie, it might be DLM. It might be DLM. It's DLM, I think. It's DLM.
If you use coupon code DLM or the dining with Doug and Carrie, or dining.
Dining.
Either one of those coupon codes, you save five bucks, you guys.
Five bucks off, 20 bucks to watch all the shows.
And they're available for three weeks after, so come to LA PodFest.
These are mostly podcasts that never are on video, so it's a great chance to see what they look like
and who the people on them look like.
People always, when they meet Graham for the first time, are like, oh, I didn't picture that.
Wow, at all.
Somebody said to me, I thought you looked like, you sound more like Eddie Pepitone.
Not a compliment, you guys.
Not at all.
Not at all.
Eddie's a terrific guy, but that's a totally different look than what Graham's going for.
Google both names.
All right, thanks, Graham. He's going to be out in the lobby, you guys. Thank you guys going for. Google both names. All right.
Thanks, Graham.
He's going to be out in the lobby, you guys.
Thank you guys so much.
Yeah, Graham.
Go out there and buy some of his stuff.
Get some pictures taken with him.
Guys, what do you got coming up?
Adam, you got anything that people should be looking for?
Yeah, I'll be doing a show in about 45 minutes.
Yeah, so stick around for that.
With Mike Ciccone
and I start shooting
a new season of Top Gear
probably late September.
Top Gear, everybody.
Risking his life
on the regular
for our entertainment.
Dangerous, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not as dangerous
as trying to name
fucking lethal weapon actors.
I'm still pissed off I didn't get Gary Busey.
You guys just chat amongst yourselves.
I'll be going over this.
I'll be beating myself up for the rest of the evening.
Yeah, and Mike Ciccone's our big winner, everybody.
Also performing here in 45 minutes.
And what else have you got going on, Mike?
I'm trying to desperately try to retire from show business, but people like Adam keep dragging me back in.
Well, in this podcast, you're not going to believe the reaction people are going to have.
I know.
To you and your I'm a dad with two kids humor.
Such an interesting take on comedy.
Yeah. Child services is at my house now
I'm sure
But I'll be in Vegas
Next month with Dom Herrera
At the Laugh Factory at the Tropicana
Well that'll be a great show
Go see those guys
And Mike is very popular with all the broads
With all the broads
Show up baby
I guess you could say that in Vegas
But that shit doesn't stand here in Kansas City.
Douglow's Movies returns to Hyenas in Dallas
next Saturday at 4.20.
And thanks again to all of you guys for coming
on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.
Kansas City, Missouri.
Hopefully this show got recorded.
I feel good about it.
Nobody ever stepped on the computer.
So it seems to be in good shape.
And as always,
having a fair when Doug Benson is here
making parking terrible is a shithead.
Yeah, so stop having fairs while I'm here.
Work that shit out.
It's not on me to know if a
fair is going on or not.
And this is a
classic. I can't agree more
with this one. Ants
at a picnic are a shithead.
Play that end theme if you have it.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.