Doug Loves Movies - Alamo Drafthouse Kansas City
Episode Date: August 18, 2013This mini ep features the opening moments from the Benson Movie Interruption of "Jason Vs. Freddy" at the Alamo Drafthouse in Kansas City, MO.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy a...nd California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Loves Movies! Chris Cubis and D.C. Pearson, and I'll play the audio from the opening moments of last night's
interruption of Freddy vs. Jason at the end of this shorty. Tonight, after the sold-out interruption
of Now You See Me at CineFamily in L.A., we'll be taping, finally, finally taping, a new ep of
Dining with Doug and Karen that should plop sometime tomorrow.
Friday night, I'll be moderating a Q&A with Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg,
and my new best friend Nick Frost at the 7.15 showing.
I'm not sure if it's going to be before or after of The World's End at the AMC in Century City.
at the AMC in Century City.
So come on down for a great movie and then hopefully a great chat with its makers.
Of course, schedules permitting, as always.
Now it's time for Not For A Metaphobes.
In Kick-Ass 2, when you hear the word six stick,
run from the theater.
This has been Not For A Metaphobes.
September 7th and 8th, I'll be in Pennsylvania.
September 9th, New York City.
September 14th, St. Louis.
September 15th, Milwaukee.
Douglovesmovies.com for deets and links.
And now, here are the opening moments from last night at the Alamo Drafthouse in downtown Kansas City.
And as always, the N-word is a shithead.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the Benson Movie Interruption.
I had to put that on the screen so I'd remember what it's called.
Because I had a nice sesh out in the parking lot just now.
Is everybody good?
You ready to order some drinks?
Some food?
Draft House style? Kansas City Alamo
Drafthouse. Let's hear you guys. I just went through a traumatic experience. I had to sit
through Bad Boys 2, or I should say I.I. in its entirety, and that was a rough ride. Still went by quicker than the much shorter
Laura Croft 2 that we saw yesterday.
So I think I'm, what do they call it?
Batting 500?
People that know sports?
Hey, what's up?
Very casual vibe for this one.
Place was packed for Bad Boys 2
because I think people thought of that movie fondly
until we got our hands on it
and pointed out
how it's crazy.
And I'll talk to my guests
about it in a second
after they come down here.
They're going to start
making their way down.
They interrupted
Laura Croft with me yesterday
and then Bad Boys 2 today.
Please give a big warm welcome
to D.C. Pearson
and Chris Cubas. Thank you give a big warm welcome to D.C. Pearson and Chris Cubis.
Walking in with their hot mics.
Hot mics.
Yeah, they're right on mic really fast.
I'm proud to say that Chris Cubis, my friend and comedian from, he's a local Austin phenom,
and I met him there, and then he, I didn't, you guys thought for a second I thought I was in Austin.
And I met him there,
and then he is going to,
he's willing to transplant
himself to Kansas City to bring
more of these movie interruptions to you
guys here at the draft test.
And so he's going to recruit the best
local comedians and touring comedians
that he can get.
A lot of funny people coming through here.
I'll come back for sure.
And folks like D.C. Pearson might make an appearance.
We haven't mentioned to any of the crowds this weekend to remind them to buy your book.
Yeah.
Do you guys know those crowds?
Yeah, if you could tell the other people not one but two published novels
Boy You Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To and Crap Kingdom
is the most recent one if you like
anything that we're about to do
if you like Boys of Crap
just anything from German porn basically
you'll love my books
but how crazy was Bad Boys 2
I do not remember
is it less feedback-y for you?
That's what I'm trying to, yeah, you guys are close to each other.
Don't get near me.
Okay.
Just trying to.
It's like a feedback lightsaber fight.
Don't cross the streams.
Bad Boys 2.
Yeah, Bad Boys 2, I feel like people remember it fondly for some reason.
I have friends who are like, oh, Bad Boys 2, so crazy action movie, awesome.
I guess if your favorite part of action movies is the part where people that are like, oh, Bad Boys 2, so crazy action movie, awesome. I guess if your favorite
part of action movies
is the part where
people are just like,
so you're going to
not be a cop anymore,
huh?
No, man, sorry,
but my ass hurts.
And then people just
talk about how their
ass hurts for two
and a half hours
until your ass hurts.
It's a lot of very
strange dialogue.
It seems like it was
made up by the actors.
And I feel like
Will Smith has never
said the N-word
as often as he does in that movie.
It's just like nine times in that one scene.
There's this one crazy scene where he is waving a gun and a drink at a 15-year-old boy,
and he says the N-word a dozen times.
The N-word is our most precious natural resource.
And Will Smith just blows through half of our national inward resources.
It's very strange, because you'd think that they would call each other that before they call a child that.
But they don't. They respect each other as men.
But when that boy comes around to try to bang the one guy's daughter,
which isn't even what he was...
That kid was so innocent.
That kid took it pretty good.
He just stood there like... He kind of had fuck you in his eyes.
He stood his ground, I should say.
What do you mean, aw?
I'm proud of that guy, and it was Miami.
And Chris did make some stand-your-ground joke at some point during the movie.
Yeah, yeah, I was making Caddyshack riffs.
Topical, I'm topical.
Yeah, you were.
Edgy, I was making Caddyshack riffs. Topical. Yeah, you were. Edgy, I think.
But when they showed that subway car, I was trying to think of a Fruitvale Station reference.
I just couldn't get the wording right.
Couldn't get it just racist enough.
So what we're saying is no matter what, this Freddy vs. Jason screening will be full of Fruitvale Station references
that you, the comedy audience, crave and deserve.
And I'm sorry I didn't say this sooner, but the print never arrives, will be full of Fruitvale Station references that you, the comedy audience, crave and deserve.
And I'm sorry I didn't say this sooner,
but the print never arrives,
so the three of us are going to perform Freddy vs. Jason
as a short play.
I'm versus.
It'll be Freddy.
You'll be the referee.
Yeah, yeah.
Very colorful.
Amazing referee.
Yeah, I'm excited for Freddy vs. Jason.
Okay, well that's what I was trying to get to earlier,
was the fact that there's a lot of empty seats.
Like, more people were excited about Bad Boys 2,
but I think you guys might have made the right decision.
Because this is...
This movie is an hour shorter.
Sure.
And it's one Destiny's Child member larger.
It's perfect.
Kelly.
Oh, I do like that about it.
Now that you mention it.
Yeah.
Shut him down.
Yeah.
I forgot that I was going to get to see her.
Sure, Beyonce's married to Jay-Z.
She's on, billion dollar tours,
but Kelly is in Freddy vs. Jason.
Yeah.
Ten years ago, Kelly has met Robert Englund.
What is she playing in?
Like a hotshot reporter who's trying to find out
the secrets of these...
She plays a girl that hates hockey masks,
so it's not going to go well for her.
Oh, but she's okay with long knives.
So that's the kind of riffs you're going to hear throughout the entire movie.
Really well put.
I haven't seen it in probably ten years since it came out.
We're celebrating it here on its tenth anniversary.
But Chris knows it pretty well, you think?
I'm a fan.
I have to say I'm a fan.
I don't know why, but I am.
That's great.
And that's what I...
How many people here like this movie?
There you go.
So let's sit here.
Let's give it the respect it deserves.
Just quit with the stupid jokes
and just talk about how awesome it is.
I'm not as much of a Freddy vs. Jason fan.
I've always been more of a Chucky vs. the Blair Witch guy.
Wait, what?
That was a thing?
No, that would be great, though.
There's an hour and a half
of a doll standing
in a corner.
How about
Sharknado
versus Pacific Rim?
Oh, fuck it.
That'd be a fun movie.
Sharks in a storm
against robots.
I'd see that.
Sure.
Daft Punk could do the soundtrack.
Because they're the saddest robots.
Let's do this, you guys.
Let's all watch together.
I'll be hanging out in the lobby after the show.
Some nice people came up to me and said,
let's get a picture.
And I said, let's get it afterwards.
And so I'm lying to you right now when I say I will be in the lobby.
No, I will be hanging out because I love this place.
I never want to leave.
All the video games they have in the lobby are exactly when I played a lot of video games.
They're all from the exact, like, Dragon's Lair and Galaga.
It's, like, perfect.
And you just walk up to them and start playing them.
it's like perfect.
And you just walk up to them and start playing them.
And I've got to thank Tim League,
the guy that created the Alamo Drafthouse chain,
because they're doing it right.
Yeah.
It's sweet.
And I'll come back and do a, for those of you who listen to it,
I'll come back and do a Doug Loves Movies podcast
in one of these theaters.
Maybe one of the 38 theaters upstairs.
That would be a real exclusive
crowd. Yeah, fight to get
a ticket.
No, we'll do it here in the big one.
200 people strong.
Except when you're showing Friday the 1st.
And you can catch me in the lobby.
I'll be getting a kill screen on Dig Dug.
It's for my King of Kong
and Dig Dug fans.
That's about as obscure as I'm going to go during the movie, so don't enjoy.
I hope that's about as obscure as you're gonna go.
I say we skip this and just go watch the Blues Brothers out in the lobby.
There's two fucking guys out at the bar,
and they're not eating dried white toast or fried chickens and coke.
They were just eating regular stuff,
so I figured out it's not really the Blues Brothers.
But they were going to actually perform karaoke as the Blues Brothers in the lobby.
Oh, yeah.
They already did a couple songs.
Oh, you watched them do it?
Oh, yeah.
Not great.
They're both
Jake's.
I just want to see you joke.
He told me they were both Jake's, and I said, oh yeah,
the two Jake's.
That's the classic.
Can I put these orders
up, Scott?
I'm going to write it down on my
little piece of paper.
I love ordering food during the movie,
but I also love that there's a little pen
and a little piece of paper.
This theater and a miniature golf course
are the only places where if I think of a joke,
I can jot it down immediately.
I'm grateful for that.
Oh, and something the Mad Boys 2 audience didn't realize,
if you're in the front row,
you don't need to suggest jokes to us.
Is that guy back? Let me see if I can
find him.
Yeah, there's a guy sitting next to
DC, or close to DC, who was
really mouthy. Like, at the beginning,
as we were taking our seats,
I said, let's enjoy
Mad Horse 2. And I walked over to
my seat, and I could hear him going,
are you guys going to get thrown out for talking during the movie
via microphones? And I went, are you going to stop talking?
Real seriously. And then I sat down and I didn't hear him again, but I bet you
it was bad because you were sitting right there. Yeah, he was thrown out a few zingers and then I
leaned forward, probably around the end of Act 1, and I looked at him.
So about two hours into it. Yeah, about two hours into it.
And I gave him the no-finger shush.
None of this. Just
shh.
And then that ended his
comedy career, I think.
Alright, well, if he's back, I apologize
for having to... He was quiet.
He was cute. No, I kind of
snapped at him because I was just like, wow,
this guy's asking me a question right now?
Ladies and gentlemen, Bad Boys 2.
Hey, um, I was wondering, just a thought I'd throw out at you.
That was another weird thing.
Will Smith is like, he's got the gift of gab, but in that movie, every time Martin Lawrence,
every time the possibility that Will Smith had sex with Martin Lawrence's sister,
every single time, he can't speak.
He's like me right now.
Just mumbling and stuttering through it.
It was weird, right?
As I said, and then another...
I was like seven pounds, and I was going on like a pursuit of happiness.
And, uh, Hancock.
This is me, baby.
This is me.
This is me.
Hancock-age.
I'm a legend.
I'm a robot.
That works in that voice.
I'm a robot.
I'm a robot.
Listen, you guys.
We've got to start this.
This is what happens
when I'm not looking forward
to a particular movie
is I just,
the talking part is longer
at the beginning
because I'm just like,
I've had so much fun
doing that
with my friends
that I want to say
one more thing
about that voice, too.
There's a point
where they're like,
all right, well,
I guess it's time
to throw some cats
and iguanas
and bags over the wall. And then, and we're like, alright, well, I guess it's time to throw some cats and iguanas and bags over the wall.
And then, we're laughing and joking around about it, and a few minutes later, they start throwing iguanas and cats over a wall.
Yeah, because that's the first steps to staging a home invasion.
Is you throw the iguanas over, because why because they'll step on the there was
a landline or something i don't know who gives a that's right we're here for freddy versus jason
little little trivia they their billing is alphabetical they didn't they gave share
top billing but it is freddy versus jason because they decided to go alphabetical and Voorhees starts with a V
and Jason...
What's his last name?
R.
Enjoy Freddy vs. Jason.
Now it's time for Doug to watch
another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him
cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!