Doug Loves Movies - Alex Edelman, Samm Levine and David Sanborn guest
Episode Date: January 3, 2022Doug welcomes Alex Edelman, Samm Levine and David Sanborn to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to&nbs...p;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you with another Homes Alone edition.
Zoom, zoom.
It's Sunday, January 2nd, 2022.
Ooh.
And my guests today are Alex Edelman, Sam Levine, and David Sanborn.
Hello, gentlemen.
Hello, Doug.
Hello, gentlemen. Hello, Doug. Hello, Doug.
Let's meet them individually and alphabetically,
starting with joining us from the East Coast, I presume.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
How did you know I was talking about you?
Oh, because I said alphabetically.
It's Alex Edelman. Hey, Alex.
Hey, man.
Thanks so much for having me back.
It's good to have you back.
I understand that there's been some shifts in your schedule because of stuff that's been going on lately.
Yeah, apparently there's a pandemic.
Right.
But yeah, I'm doing this solo show at the cherry lane that's
being produced by mike berbiglia and uh we decided to take uh three weeks off for the holidays and
uh the greek letters so we're uh we're starting back up january 24th and going until february
20th and the show is about i know you didn't ask this but it's okay
if I tell people what the show is about
I went to this meeting of white
nationalists in Queens
and I'm a Jew
and I sat there for a little while and eventually someone's
like sorry but this guy's a Jew and I'm like yeah
I'm a Jew and so like that's what the show is broadly
about it's about a
Jew who goes to a meeting of
like white nationalists and uh they
get upset so yeah it sounds super fun and uh i'm glad that you're you know able to do that to take
a break and then start up again and um where do people go what's the easiest quickest route to get tickets um my uh
my website or or uh my social media any of my social media pages but uh just for us show.com
the show is called just for us so just for us show.com i see i get I understand the title now, I think. Yeah. Yeah. A little more. It's a little more elucidated. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, thanks for being here and also joining us today from wherever the heck he is. It's
everybody's favorite, Sam, the man Levine, AKA all that other stuff. Hey, Sam.
Hey, Sam.
Hey buddy. I don't know that I'm everyone's favorite. I think at this point,
it's a very,
very small portion of the audience who would say I'm their favorite and to them, I say hello. And to the rest of those fans, I say, Hey,
I like that. That's the part you have a problem with.
Not me calling you the man. No, I have no issue with that.
You've been doing that a decade. Why am I going to do it now?
I know. It's been going forever.
That's great.
I hope nobody calls you that like in the streets.
They do.
When I'm on the streets, Doug, there are no rules.
People call me the ma'am.
They throw things at me.
It's lawless out there.
Well, I didn't give them the throw things at you idea unless it's donuts.
No, I think that's the other stuff.
Other stuff going on.
I don't think that has to do with you.
Yeah.
All right.
Fair enough.
And joining us for the first time over Zoom anyway, second time overall,
it's recent audience winner that's right he came out from the
audience and then beat the you know quote unquote professional guests that i had on stage
and he also has a name that's shared by a musician who used to sit in with David Letterman's band a lot. So it really jumped out at me when I
heard this. David, no relation, Sanborn. Hello, David. Hello. Thanks for having me again.
I thought you were like, fuck this. No, you were just gone. what's going on and how's it going down there in
san diego you live in the san diego area i take it i do it's nice and sunny here
yeah what else is new yeah um trying to get you uh of course you're going to be on the show we
were going to do in san diego the day day after Christmas, my annual holiday taint show that I do in San Diego.
But we ended up having to postpone that.
And the new date for that is going to be February 5th.
But didn't want to, you know, didn't want to wait to have the great David Sanborn back on to defend his title.
wait to have the great david sanborn back on to defend his title and uh you know alex is no slouch in the trivia department and of course sam's everybody's favorite at trivia and
oh yeah you definitely bought brought the the big hitters to go against me this time. I'm more nervous this time than I was last time, I think.
Well, rightfully so.
I think that was just a warm-up for you with those other guys.
This is the real deal.
And thanks for being here.
As you may know, as a listener to the show,
before we get into the games of late, I'd like to ask everybody on the panel to recommend one movie.
And we'll start, like I always do, alphabetically with Alex, E-D-E-L-M-A-N.
All right.
Recommend
a movie. Well,
there's a movie called A New Leaf.
Oh, I love that movie.
What a wonderful recommendation.
I am shocked.
It is so good.
It is so, so good. First of all, I'm insulted
that you're shocked.
Not that you...
I'm a long time fan of the show. I don't mean to interrupt your segment here, but I'm insulted that you're shocked. No, I'm not. Not that you I'm a longtime fan of the show.
I don't mean to interrupt your segment here, but I'm a fan of the show.
And like people recommend older movies from time to time.
But usually it's like Bridge on the River Kwai, like because they saw it on some list somewhere.
I always feel like that's a great underappreciated, lesser known film.
So go ahead.
The floor is yours.
No, here's. So I totally agree. Here's why I love the movie. So go ahead. The floor is yours. No, here's.
So I totally agree.
Here's why I love the movie.
It's fun.
It's a really good movie.
And I think I'm at a point in my life where I'm done with things that aren't fun.
I appreciate that there are old movies that may be good, that may be great.
And I have watched a lot of movies that are like canonized completely, and they are not
fun to watch.
This is a movie that is directed and written, I think, by Elaine May,
who also stars in it with Walter Matthau.
It is so funny.
I won't tell you any more about it because it'll ruin it,
but it's a romantic comedy.
It's got darkness in its heart, and it's got a really sharp tongue.
There are like 10 perfect laugh out loud jokes and the ending is glorious.
And like it is just a truly fun, brilliantly made, totally underrated movie from someone who is like brilliant and underrated.
And thank God still alive. So I think it's absolutely worth watching.
And yeah, I'm recommending a new leaf.
it's absolutely worth watching and yeah i'm recommending a new leaf a new leaf i recommend it as well nobody's gonna watch it it's so hard streaming service it's so hard to get people
to watch something like that but it's so rewarding when uh you know when they give in and do it. So. Oh, I'll watch it.
Good choice.
Walter Matthau is, you know,
he was in some movies that weren't so good because it's unfortunate that actors have to do that. You know, Sam can tell you how that works.
Doug, I'd like to remind you,
you and I were almost in a movie that was Home Alone, but with a dog.
Yeah, that almost happened.
That almost happened.
It would not have been good.
It would not have been a good movie, I don't think.
I mean, all the traps would just be like poop.
They'd just poop on the floor.
That's like all they could really do.
Yeah, I guess, you know, they could, you know, urinate urinate you know to slick up the floor a little
bit you know dogs dogs have a few tricks in there it's hard to teach them new tricks i know
now the thing is is it was like stuff like they figured out how to like you know trap one of us
in the shower and turn it on so like we're like almost gonna
drown because of these dogs right um but listen we're not here to talk about bad movies that sam
never did um my point was just that you know like michael caine people still hound him about jaws
the revenge like he also wasn't in a dozen other shitty movies.
Like it's just, you know, you can't,
there's just too much is out of your hands when you accept a role, uh,
you know, or in a lot of cases you audition and get a role.
Of course you're not going to turn that down. So like, uh, you know, um,
Walter Matthau, that's where we were at is that he was he he can't be guaranteed it's a good movie if walter mathau's in it but you can be guaranteed that walter
walter mathau will be good in it and that pretty much makes me a walter mathau completist i've seen
most of the things he's done plus interesting just kind of how he changed over time because he like his whole appearance
and demeanor sort of changed over the years.
Yeah.
And you know,
Can I go out on a limb here though,
about,
about this,
about this movie,
which is that I don't think there is,
and I'm aware that Ishtar is a huge thing,
but I don't think there is, and I'm aware that Ishtar is a huge thing, but I don't think there is a bad Elaine May movie.
I really think that every Elaine movie, I mean, Ishtar is a controversial choice because I enjoyed Ishtar, even though it's a famous bomb.
It's a famous studio bomb, but Mikey and Nikki is incredible.
The Heartbreak Kid is hard to watch, but incredible.
I enjoy every single Elaine May movie.
I have never not enjoyed an Elaine May film.
And so like that, and they're only like nine or 10.
Wait, are we talking about movies she directed or movies she wrote?
Movies she was involved in in any way.
Like for me, an Elaine May film is like perfect.
Like she ghost wrote Reds.
She ghost wrote that movie where Warren Beatty's a quarterbacks she ghost wrote um that movie where warren baity's a
quarterback who dies heaven can wait like it's good she's really good at being part of movies
and like i maybe it's just a personal taste thing but i love every elaine may involvement in anything
so that's so that's my completest uh sorry i i've yeah i'm talking too
much about this no but that's you know she's a good one to be a completest about because like
you said there's only so much uh material there but she's just she's just a it is i don't mean
to speak of her as if she's dead but she's uh just such a smart smart and funny person and uh you know
kept up with her uh you know her partner mike nichols who was also very smart and funny
um um whose turn is it sam sam would you like to you know what i was gonna recommend
a different movie but now that alex has me thinking about elaine may who is brilliant um i want to recommend a different elaine may movie
called enter laughing oh wait isn't that what is that is that uh yeah yeah carl reiner directed it. And it is Rennie Santoni is kind of the lead.
Michael J. Pollard.
At least that's what I'm thinking of.
No, I'm thinking of the right movie.
And the guy Carl Reiner wrote it with
did Fiddler on the Roof.
I can't remember his name, but he did Zorba and Fiddler
on the Roof.
And he's got a really
I think it's like Joseph Stein or something, but he's got a really um i think it's like
joseph stein or something but he's got a really down the middle jewish name but but yeah i didn't
know that she i forgot that she was in that yeah um i don't think it's a huge role but uh she's
definitely in it and uh that was a favorite of of my parents when i was growing up so they would put
that and a new leaf on i think
we had them on vhs um and so you know obviously these are movies of a different era i think a
new leaf is like 70 or 71 enter laughing is late 60 67 maybe um but uh they're hilarious
and uh and wonderful and i like that we're're going to clog up the Twitter poll
with two movies that people have never heard of.
If you rent a new Leaf, it's $2.99 on YouTube.
Or that's how I got it.
Maybe you can find a better way to watch it.
If you rent a new Leaf and you don't like it,
I will Venmo you your money for it.
Oh, no, this is a bad road to go.
Whoa.
What an offer. Alex, don't like it i will venmo you your money for it oh no this is a bad road whoa that's what a
what an offer alex don't do this i i'm literally willing to stick out my neck i'm willing to stick
out my neck you have to tell me why you don't like it like we have to talk about it so like
there's a potential for hundreds of people to reach out to you
and say that they you know what do you what do you
need receipts do you need maybe they need to write a three-page synopsis of the of i need receipts
to prove that they watched i need receipts and i need to be satisfied that you uh one watch the
whole thing two didn't like it and three this offer just in case this is absolutely explosive ends when uh
my venmo when my venmo uh expenses hit 250 because that is all i have in my venmo at the moment but
oh that's that's a great deal so the first uh
the first one how much is it three dollars uh let's say let's say let's say 100 let's say the first hundred people that the first hundred people to do this i will i will uh but don't be a jerk
face about it if you if you if you watched it and liked it you're like hey it's it's on that
comedian like don't don't be a schnorrer come on on. I don't know. I don't have any idea how many people would, you know, first of all, just go to the trouble.
Right.
Like right now, it's such a tough time to say to somebody, hey, go pay money and watch
this movie you never heard of.
But then on top of that, to then be dissatisfied with it, because they probably won't be.
They're going to like it.
So then to not like it or 10 to not like it just to get
their three or five bucks back or whatever from you i feel like this you're not going to hear
from anybody i think you're safe that's my predict my prediction is you won't hear from anybody well
i am guaranteeing i'm guaranteeing that people i'm guaranteeing the quality of this movie i'm
underwriting a comedy legend so it's not exactly it, Hey, if you didn't like blazing saddle,
you know, like to me, it's a, this is a sure bet.
Yeah. Okay.
So now we go to David Sanborn who heard these other two selections
recommendations and must now give us his to add to the mix.
Yeah. I'm a, I'm so far out of my league. This, and must now give us his to add to the mix.
Yeah, I'm so far out of my league this turn.
But I'm going to recommend a nice little delightful comedy called Game Night.
Hey!
From 2018.
Yes, yes.
Jason Bateman, Rachel McAdams.
And, you know, they like board games and it gets a little out of hand.
And that's probably all you should know going into it.
Yeah. If people can't avoid, you know, it is a few years old.
And the trailers and the commercials were pretty ubiquitous when the movie came out. But there's an adorable dog in it that I don't really not I'm not too thrilled about what happens to the adorable dog.
He doesn't die. We should point out the dog does not get killed.
No, but it's still, it's unpleasant.
It's unpleasant, but it's not, you know, it's fine.
The dog suffers no injuries.
Okay.
I wildly, it's just emotional trauma probably.
I happen to know what happened to the real dog.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
I don't like where this is going.
They used some sort of dye that was bad.
No, I'm kidding.
I don't know.
That movie was written and directed by my longtime pal,
John Daly from a little show called Freaks and Geeks
and his writing directing partner
jonathan goldstein i love that movie and i love the movie because it includes uh sharon horgan
who is for my money the most like pretty close to like you know someone who's probably got a
little bit of elaine may in her so i'm a huge share huge huge huge huge sharon morgan fan so i love uh love that choice
yeah it's got a really good cast and you know it's all about uh how far you want to suspend
your disbelief and also how you feel about cute dogs okay so thank you for visiting
recommendation nation i will pit these films against each other and see what people have to say.
They're all comedies, and they're all funny and worth watching,
so it'll be interesting to see how this shakes out.
I think it's a real race to see who's in second and who's in third
between me and Alex.
I guess so, but I don't assume that the people that listen to this show
necessarily just vote for game night i usually leave a fourth voting position for people who
just haven't seen all three to just sort of fess up and not really you know vote for the one just
because they've heard of it or seen it you know i like that idea yeah i keep i try to keep it fair
plus also uh the most more important thing to remember is that it does not matter
how any of these films finish.
Just the fact that we're getting people to watch these movies, I hope.
Very exciting.
And then complain to Alex Adelman.
I'm happy.
Via his socials.
If you hate a new leaf,
fucking milk this shit.
First of all, rent a new leaf at the most expensive place you can find it.
I spent $65 on a new leaf.
I had to get a subscription
to something to watch.
I built a video
rental store.
I think it's free.
I think it's free on one of these streamers.
I think.
I hired Barry Bostwick
and Lauren Lapkus
to
play Walter Matthau and Elaine May
respectively in my living room. Please Venmo me. Lauren Lapkus to play Walter Matthau and Elaine May, respectively,
in my living room.
Please headmo me.
$32,000.
I watched the hell out of that movie, by the way.
Me too.
That's an interesting recasting.
But we got to go to a break.
We'll be right back.
We're back, and it's time to play some games.
We're going to start with one that i call too much christmas
there'd be like uh some sort of jingle bell sound and then like a shotgun and then a thumb
or something if i you know if this was a recurring bit and we did those kind of sound effect things
um it's january and there's still a bunch of really shitty looking Christmas
movies available on my, you know,
cable system. So here's how this game works.
I'll read the description of a movie and I'll give you four choices.
Alex gets to go first. If he misses it,
if he doesn't guess it amongst the four titles,
then it'll go to Sam.
And then to David, if Sam misses.
And of course, there's four titles.
So all three of you could miss in any given round.
That sounds great.
I'm glad you approve.
Alex, are you ready? Yeah, I'm glad you approve. I do.
Alex, are you ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Okay, so this is just Alex gets to answer this first.
A mom and woman.
Sorry, a man.
The point of this game is just I'm just going to confuse you to give up a man and woman battle over the ownership of a cottage.
That's the description of the movie, a man and woman battle over the ownership of a cottage do you think alex that that movie is
called christmas collision a christmas gift from bob christmas in the pines or christmas in the
wilds can i get those one more time of course a mom or a man. Let's go with man. Why do I keep saying mom?
A man and woman battle over the ownership of a cottage.
Is it Christmas Collision, A Christmas Gift from Bob, Christmas in the Pines, or Christmas in the Wilds?
Christmas in the Pines?
Christmas in the Pines?
You're going to go with Christmas in the Pines is the story of a man and a woman
battling over the ownership of a cottage.
Yeah, I mean...
That's your final answer.
Yeah, that's my final answer.
All right.
I just like to give people a chance
to change their minds
if they gave an incorrect answer, an incorrect answer potentially.
But I'm also not saying it's incorrect. I'm just making sure that that's your answer.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, that's my answer.
You're sticking with Christmas in the pines i mean at this point yes i mean there's because i'm too embarrassed to make you
repeat the rest of the the the names because all of them have the perfect hallmark quality of
slipping through my head and out leaving zero impressions of the last one you said was christmas
in the pines and i was like that one so that one now the last one is christmas in the wilds
So that one.
No, the last one is Christmas in the wilds.
Oh, and there's also Christmas collision, a Christmas gift from Bob.
It's not going to be a, it's not going to be a Christmas gift from Bob.
Cause that's not cottagey. It's between Christmas in the pines and Christmas in the wild.
But I think Christmas in the pines has a slightly like Christmas in the wild
would be a bit like, that would be a different movie to me
so i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go with christmas am i i also i'm gonna go with christmas in the
in the pines yes okay i'm glad i'm glad you stuck with it that's a i i like I like your gumption.
That answer is
correct.
Oh!
Wow, that was so suspenseful.
I really thought I could get you to change your mind.
Yeah, I was so close to.
You were really on the verge
of changing your mind.
If you'd have been wrong, I would have guessed the Christmas gift from Bob.
Really?
Yeah. I mean, a cottage, that could be a gift.
Yeah. And then Bob changed his mind.
Yeah. I don't see why not. All right.
But Sam, you get to go first in this next round. Okay.
Alex is on the board at one point.
Okay. Now this is about a mother. So I'm going to be saying this one round. Okay. Alex is on the board at one point. Okay, now this is
about a mother,
so I'm going to be
saying this one correctly.
Great.
An overburdened mother
strives to create
the perfect Christmas.
Hmm.
Is this movie called
Christmas Collision?
The Christmas Pitch?
Christmas versus the Walters, or Cracked Cocaine Christmas? Only because that's the only one I can think of right now.
Can you repeat just the first three for me again so that I don't have to laugh?
Okay. So you're just because I laughed when I said it,
you're ruling out crack cocaine Christmas.
That's not the only reason.
Because seriously, if you're trying to make a perfect christmas for people yep you would probably start with some cocaine because you're gonna need the energy
you're gonna need to be able to stay up all night to make everything just perfect
but anyway the other three titles sam are christ are Christmas Collision, The Christmas Pitch,
or Christmas Versus
the Walters.
Oh.
Christmas Versus the Walters.
That's what you said.
Yeah, I thought, when I first saw it,
I thought it said Versus the Walkers,
and I was like, I'm in.
You know, if Christmas
and a bunch of walkers fought each other,
that'd be neat.
I guess
I want to go with
Christmas versus
the Walters.
That's your final answer?
Yeah, why not?
All right. Well, that particular answer that's your final answer yeah why not alright well
that particular
answer
is also correct
are we sure
it's not a crack cocaine Christmas
you guys know your Christmas
movies this is crazy
none of us have
seen any of these movies and yet we're playing
we're playing a game
uh david this is your chance to get on the board if you get this one right
we got a three-way tie we'll have to force a tiebreaker in this game this game that means
nothing are you ready i'll see if i can keep it going. Okay. Here's the description of the movie.
Santa Claus hires five
elves to save Christmas.
I thought
Santa already had a bunch of elves on his
payroll, but that aside,
that's the description
of this movie. He hires five
elves to save
Christmas. Is this movie. He hires five elves to save Christmas.
Is this movie called Christmas Collision,
A Christmas Comet,
The Grump
Who Stole Christmas,
or The Grump Who Stole Christmas
Part 2?
Oh, my.
Which one of those four? I can repeat them if you'd like yeah just repeat them one more time please okay so just imagine santa claus has to hire five elves
it's hard to imagine but i think i can get there and they're gonna save Christmas, these five elves. Okay. Yeah.
It's like bingo, dingo, flingle.
And then as a joke, the last two are named, you know,
Steve and Walter.
Elder Barry and Sarah.
Yeah.
They really take a couple of turns there at the end with their names,
but I forgot them already.
So Santa Claus hired five elves to save christmas for a motion picture called christmas collision a christmas comet the grump who stole christmas or the grump who stole christmas part two
i mean it's been up there so i think i'm gonna take christmas collision i had a gun with crack
cocaine christmas yeah same yeah see crack cocaine christmas wasn't even an option on this one it was
the secret, it's
no accident that that movie
never is the
answer.
Incorrect.
I'm sorry, man.
You'll be back in the next game
better, stronger.
You've learned from this experience.
Alex,
from the remaining titles, take
Christmas Collision off of your list.
Does Santa
hire five elves to save Christmas
in a Christmas comet?
The Grump Who Stole Christmas?
Or The Grump Who Stole Christmas 2?
It's going to be one of the Stole Christmas series
because I think a Christmas
comet
is it's just
it's just the movie
Don't Look Up but with different music behind it
so
so I think let's go with that would be great if they
just made a christmas layover for that movie like yeah like there's just more christmas trees in the
background and scenes and there's like uh uh you know more christmas music on the soundtrack yeah
at some point there's just a cutaway establishing that it's also Christmas.
Like, Tyler Perry's like,
Merry Christmas! And then he turns to Kate Blanchett
and they start their interview.
Alright, let's...
I'm going to go with The Grump
Who Stole Christmas
Part 2.
Alright, that's your final answer?
Yes.
You're sticking with The Grump Who Stole Christmas 2?
Yeah.
In which Santa Claus hires five elves to save Christmas.
What did they do in the first Grump Who Stole Christmas?
The five elves obviously banded together to steal Christmas.
all christmas the the five elves obviously banded together to steal christmas and then at the last uh then in the last scene a dashing french thief steals christmas from them hey that's ocean 12
so this is where they team back up to there they join up with uh with with with santa who's played, of course, by Al Pacino.
And they steal Christmas
for... They get double
crossed in the end, but it's part two
where they steal Christmas back
for Santa.
His Santa's terrific, the way he goes,
Ho, ho, hoo, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
All right. You did it. that's the correct answer
yeah part two for some reason uh goes a different way than part one i don't even know if the grump
is in it uh i just know that uh these five elves it turns, if you read further about the movie, they're from a detective agency. And so that's, you know,
that's why he hires outside of his own employees is because he gets some,
some real, you know, some, some detective elves.
I think their agency is even called elf detective agency.
I just assumed they were unpaid interns in the first movie and then they got hired
on in the second one. Doug,
I have a question. Yes, sir.
Were all of those film titles
actual films? Like, is there a
real crack cocaine Christmas movie?
There is not a crack cocaine Christmas
to the best of my knowledge.
Yeah.
I didn't check
on the fake titles because I still knew they weren't the answer
i see there were multiple fake titles like is there a christmas collision
yes there is a movie called christmas collision and it's called that because a woman uh goes back
to her hometown and runs into a man she used to know. Oh, it takes place over the holidays.
Yeah.
Christmas collision.
She runs into him and they come.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
and,
and strangely at Christmas in the pines,
they argue over a cottage,
but then Christmas in the wilds,
they have some other adventure that has nothing to do with the cottage,
but it's the same,
same two people from the first one.
Oh yeah. No, I really learned way more than I want to learn. Oh, to do with the cottage but it's the same same two people from the first one oh yeah no i really
learned way more than i want to learn oh christmas pitch is about two two executives from a tv
network or a movie studio who get like sent to some small town over the holidays over their
holiday break to go find out what the people you know what the people out there really want. The Christmas pitch is what that's called.
Oh, and the one about Bob, the gift from Bob,
it's about a homeless guy who befriends a cat and they have an adventure
together.
Wow.
So those sounded like they were all real movies except for crack cocaine
Christmas.
Yeah.
I also made up a christmas comet and i
made up um i thought there was maybe one other one but maybe not oh yeah because we didn't have
to play the tiebreaker in the tiebreaker i think i made up something uh oh no the tiebreaker was
just going to be now i spoiled it but it's just going to be, now I spoiled it,
but it was just going to be a choice between either Christmas Collision or a Christmas gift from Bob.
Okay.
So Alex won that game, right?
I mean, yeah.
Mathematically, I could not win.
So, yes, Alex won.
Yeah, the math got you.
Mathematically, I could not win.
So yes, Alex won.
Yeah, the math got you.
And the rhythm is going to get all of us as you listen to the catchy music behind this next ad or ads.
And we'll be right back.
We're back to finish off today's games and declare a winner.
Let's play a game I call parental guidance.
Oh, boy.
They love to tell you.
People like to jump on IMDb and add their two cents about things that are
happening in movies that you should be warned about before your children go.
They tend to be in categories like swear words and uh alcohol or
drug use sex nudity violence uh bad attitude no that's not in there but you know those are the
basic those are the basic categories and then they just say the most random shit that like
could actually spoil a movie if you haven't seen it yet.
But I guess it's for lazy parents who are they're lazy enough that they don't want to see the movies themselves before their kids see them.
But they aren't also willing to do research where they have to sit around and read about this stuff.
And then, I mean, if a kid wants to see a certain movie I don't know if going
to this guide is going to help you
figure out what to say to the child
to dissuade the
kid you know plus these days
they can just find it somehow
you know without parental permission
great
story here's how this game works
I'll say
a line from the parental guidance section for a particular movie on IMDb.
The first one is going to be tough. Tough clue.
Second one, a little easier. Third one, easier. Fourth one.
That one is going to be like, just give it away.
So the person who ends up going fourth,
which would be the person who goes first in each round and you each get to go
first once, uh,
that person might have the advantage and get the give me at the end if nobody's
figured it out. But I have a lot of faith in this group today.
Alex,
you're up first.
Tell me the title of a movie.
Just think of a movie that you think fits this.
Their warning is no scene
or reference
to sex
at all.
This movie is
completely non-sexual
according to the person who
contributed this.
To the page of what
film? Which film would you think it is?
Marley and Me may that is a terrific guess an incorrect guess but that's a terrific guess
i bet you there's a reference to sex in there somewhere i think at some point they're not
they're not getting it on because the dog keeps jumping on them while they're trying to fuck.
I think.
Okay, so now Sam gets the, you know, the
two clues. He gets the first clue
that he already heard, and then we add
this one to it to see if you can figure it
out.
Not only is this movie not any sex, Sam,
a ghost pulls
its own head off
and shows guts.
Ooh.
Yeah, so I thought guts
would be from the gut, but these are head guts
apparently. The guts
of the removed head
are revealed by this
ghost, which that's another thing that's confused
me because I don't think of ghosts as having guts.
Right.
I think people get drunk when they write these
things.
I think I know.
I'm going to guess, I'm probably wrong,
The Nightmare Before Christmas?
Oh, that's a fun guess, but no.
That's a really good guess.
I like that guess a lot.
Thanks.
That guess gets a double boing.
Appreciate that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Okay, so we go to David.
This movie, in addition to a ghost pulling his own head off and no sex,
has one use of the word buggers, B-U-G-G-E-R-S, buggers, and some religious exhortations,
whatever that means.
So somebody says buggers, and there's some religious exhortations.
Do you have any idea?
Yeah.
Do you have any idea?
I want to guess one of the Christmas carols, but I'm not sure which one.
The only one I've ever actually seen is the Muppet one, and I know it's not that one.
I don't know.
I feel like Scrooge would call a bunch of Muppets buggers.
Yeah.
I don't think any of them, you know, rip their guts out, though.
It doesn't seem very Muppety.
Also, I wouldn't try to talk you into an answer that's absolutely wrong.
True. wrong true um i guess i i'm gonna go with the the the jim carrey one the christmas carol the
roberts mech is okay jim carrey one all right i know that one uh that is incorrect
so now we come back to alex you're in the catbird seat now, Alex.
Because all you got to do is tell me the name of this movie
after I give you what I think should be a
piece of parental guidance that gives away what movie it is.
Okay.
You ready?
Yeah.
Okay, here goes.
Hagrid explains to Yeah. Okay, here goes. Hagrid explains to Harry...
Okay, can I just say that I...
Wait, let me finish.
About the night his parents were murdered.
Yes, you wanted to say?
I was going to say, is it Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone?
That is correct. Yes, it is.
You know what gives it a...
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
It feels like clues two and three should be reversed,
because I was sure about it.
Because John Cleese pulls off his head.
I can't remember his character, but it's nearly Headless Nick.
That's the name of the guy.
He pulls off his head in the first scene.
And it also does help that I
just re-watched
the movie very recently.
It also helped that in 2001
when that movie came out, you were what?
Nine?
When it came out, I was 11.
Okay.
See, and that screwed me up because i didn't see like the guts part screwed me up because it's not really guts it's just like his neck
yeah no that's the problem is these people that write these things it's just one person
you know that watches the movie and goes well i'm going to contribute and they they you know
they belong to imdb pro or whatever and they just go
in there and write stuff so that the writing is also terrible a lot of the times and um yeah
there's one instance with the thing i wanted to use today but the writing was so confusing that
i just felt like it was unfair as a clue um but it's the second most horrifying thing in the movie
which is well that's the thing is i just don't personally have strong memories of that one
because I haven't watched any of them repeatedly,
but I certainly, the first two, if I'm going to be skipping
Harry Potter movies, those are the ones I skip.
Because the kids are too little at that point.
I'm just not interested in, you know,
I just want them to get older.
Stop being dumb little kids.
Like, let's find out if they can really act or not.
And that's one of those shows, one of those movies,
where it's pretty amazing that they, you know, didn't replace,
like, none of the kids turned out to be like, oh, we gotta
get rid of this kid
you know, replace him
with somebody else, that never happened
or it happened, I didn't notice
it, because Harry Potter has way more
characters in it than
I thought, I mean, I've always known
there were a lot of characters, but when you really
think about it, it's got a shit ton of characters
like the books for one thing and then the movies have a lot of the characters from the
books i mean there's way more in the books i guess but it's still just it's just a lot of uh
a lot of characters because i saw people on twitter i haven't watched it yet but there's
this special on hbo max about uh you know return to hogwarts and people are complaining about the
actors that don't get a shout out during it but it's like there's like 50 known actors that appear
in the movie over the course of the series right i mean they replaced you know richard harris he
must have acted up on the set listen Listen, he died, Sam. What?
Yeah, and it was from Witchcraft.
Yeah, Richard Harris is dead. It was from Witchcraft,
so it was bad timing.
I just thought he kept making a mess of the craft
service table, so they fired him.
That's terrible. I was told bad info.
It was a speedboat accident.
His Harley
flipped on the freeway?
All right. We're flipped on the freeway. All right.
We're going on to round four.
So many white went.
Rest in peace.
Alex, congratulations for being on the board.
But now this next round, Sam gets to go first.
And I'm sure I'll get it.
If it gets to four clues, then Sam's going to probably walk away with it.
Let's see what Sam does with the first clue.
Let's see.
Also, there may or may not be a theme.
Oh, I'm not going to say for sure that there's a theme.
Might be a might be a half assed theme.
OK.
A man gets brutally killed by a snake.
That's all you get. That's all you get.
A man gets brutally killed by a snake.
Uh-huh.
Hmm.
I will say
the movie
it's just multiple
brutal snake deaths
and
alright well I have no idea so I will say
Anacondas
the hunt for the Blood Orchid
They really thought they could pull like aliens
And just say an S to Anaconda
Put a nice dollar sign through it
Nobody would notice
No I'm sorry Sam
Terrific guess but
Incorrect
Thank you very much
So now we go to David Sam, terrific guess, but incorrect. Thank you very much.
So now we go to David and he gets the second clue.
In addition to a man is brutally killed by a snake.
There are many deaths of main and known characters throughout.
Okay. I'm pretty sure I know what it is.
Oh boy. I think it fits the theme yes i
is it harry potter and the deathly hollows part two
once he said a man is killed by a snake i was like which basilisk yeah
is it i was like it's either harry potter or it's anaconda and
sam said anaconda so i was like all right i think i'm not sure how many of the main cast gets killed
in anaconda but uh almost all of them oh well okay well i got lucky then yeah jaylo and uh
and uh ice cube i think the only ones who survive.
Oh, Owen Wilson doesn't survive?
Oh, no. He's one of the first to go.
Oh.
I think Stoltz maybe survives, but maybe
not. I don't remember. It's been a long time.
Oh, yeah. Stoltz might. I think there's got to be
a few people left.
But, yeah.
But John Voight's
Voight gets killed. He gets eaten by the snake yeah yeah but you know i mean i think
it's i think it's more than two at the end but you might be right okay uh but john voight's death
is like one of the best oh yeah the best in the history of cinema like no matter how much you're
hating that movie uh when he pops back out of the snake and winks at the camera.
It's pretty disgusting.
It's pretty disgusting and hilarious.
Just it's everything.
It's my everything.
OK.
We have two players on the board.
And one of those players gets to go first in this third round.
Oh, and by the way, the other clues were going to be Ron and Hermione kiss passionately in the Chamber of Secrets.
Which, I don't know why they phrased it that way.
I like how it goes from man brutally killed by snake
to many characters dying to two people kissing.
All these things you've got to warn your kids about. From being brutally killed by a snake to many characters dying to two people kissing. Yeah.
All these things you've got to warn your kids about.
But passionately is their life.
Oh, yeah, passionately.
If we've learned nothing, it's that moms are not afraid that their children will watch people get killed by snakes or die.
It's that two young people would kiss passionately.
Yeah.
No, that's the thing is they weigh all these things fairly
evenly like you know for each parent to have their own weird uh opinions and then the fourth one that
was going to give it away is harry leaves oh harry learns from uh snape's memories that he needs to
sacrifice himself in order to defeat Voldemort.
I figured that gave away that it was the final chapter.
All right, so David goes first in this third and final round.
Still anybody's game, though.
The first clue, David, is nudity includes bare chests, bare buttocks in thong underwear.
Oh.
So that's their whole nudity wording. Nudity includes bare chests, bare buttocks in thong underwear.
All right.
Well, I don't remember that in any of the harry potters
i would hope i mean i i do recall a quidditch locker room sequence
um all right well how can i stay in this theme then? I'm going to say Conan the Barbarian.
That is incorrect, but I love the way you play.
Yeah.
Alex, this movie, in addition to having bare chest,
bare buttocks and thong underwear, has 156 uses of the word fuck.
156 uses of the word fuck.
How could you even pay attention to the movie
if all you're doing is sitting there clicking
every time they say fuck?
What a nightmarish job.
156 movies of the word
I mean it's not gonna be
it's not gonna be like Wolf of Wall Street
had like over 500 Fox
so
um
god damn it
I don't
I don't know I don't know.
Thong underwear.
Bare chests.
Bare buttocks.
I'm just like...
I can't wait to read this next clue to Sam
Jesus Christ
dirty grandpa
I don't
that's a respectable guess.
But not the right answer.
Sam?
Oh boy, I can't wait, Doug.
We see a miniature pig
as it walks up to a small area
of drying vomit
and begins...
Oh!
And begins to nibble at it.
Yep.
I would not have gotten it without that third clue.
That is the movie.
Many said,
all right,
all right,
all right.
Mr.
McConaughey should have won an Oscar for that is magic.
Oh my God,
Sam.
I can't believe you remember that disgusting.
It's such a gross,
gross scene.
Yeah, we've got ourselves
a three-way tie, gentlemen.
How terribly, terribly exciting.
I completely blocked out that scene
from that movie.
Yeah, I didn't remember that that happened,
but I was delighted to read it in print.
All right, so here's the tiebreaker.
Since Sam ended up on the last point, we start with David.
And this comes down to, you know, just the first person to get this one right is the winner today.
person to get this one right is the winner today and uh yeah it's anybody's anybody's game at this point um are you ready david i believe so clue number one male objectification throughout the film uh i'm gonna go objectification i'm gonna go with magic mike xxl
why would you say that uh you know it just it seems like it fits it seems like you're right
i knew before you gave the clue it was going to be the second Magic Mike
you do it
and I'm not going to lie that's like one of my top
10 movies of all time I love that
movie so much
that's so crazy
because this is how I was going to shake
out is that the tie breaking
clue from the
previous
you know from Magic Mike that we didn't get to was male objectification throughout the film.
And it just had the exact same line written for Magic Mike XXL.
And then the other clues were going to be that it has a lot of male nudity, that a man smokes a joint and passes it to his friend.
And, and then the final giveaway clue was one character's shirt size is XXL,
but he isn't a magician for named Mike.
You gotta warn your kids about that.
That's just called advertising.
Because you have to have a winner no matter what at the end.
So I had to really spell it out.
But David Sanborn, against all odds, and with a fake name, he's done it.
Against all odds?
He's done it.
And he won today.
Congratulations, David.
Oh, thank you.
I couldn't have done it without magic mike we'll have you
back on the show soon but what's your uh what would you like to is there anything you want to
plug uh yeah sure um so during the live event i i kind of you know screwed up the whole plug fake but i have gotten an instagram since then um so it's uh dd sanborn um i just it's
mostly pictures of my dog and i've recently gotten in gotten into baking so it's my adventures in
baking too um i mean you had me at dogs you had me at dogs and you didn't lose me at baking. So I'm going to check it out.
Well, thank you.
You can be one of my like seven followers so far.
All right.
Well, you know, we're going to build up those numbers.
People are going to be excited about this win today and that you're going to come back.
And I, you know, I hope the winning streak never ends.
you're going to come back and I, you know, I, I hope the winning streak never ends.
I think it'd be hilarious if, if all my fancy comedian friends can't take on David,
no relation, Sanborn.
I'm in.
I'm not, I'm really angry.
Alex Edelman, tell us again, quickly quickly the details of how people can come see your
show that you're doing in New York.
The show's called Just for Us
and tickets are at
Just for Us Show and in the bio
of my
Instagram, which is just
Alex Edelman and
I always love doing this show
even though I'm infuriated at losing to Magic Mike XXL.
Right?
There's nothing you could have done differently, Alex.
There's literally nothing I could have done differently.
The math doesn't work like it does on other games.
So don't beat yourself up.
Somebody gets to win out of the three players.
That's all I know at this point.
What do you got to plug, Sam Levine?
I am having an absolute ball on Cameo, Doug.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Let's not forget about Sam and Cameo.
Has Cameo changed the spelling to C-A-M-M-E-O in honor of you, Sam?
You know what?
They really should, at least on my birthday.
They should think about it.
Yeah, they should.
Look, I'm happy to do all the birthdays, anniversaries, you know,
thanks for being a great boss videos you want.
But what I really think I excel in is breaking bad news to people.
So do you have bad news you need to break to someone and just can't figure out the right words?
Please let me do it for you.
Have you done breakups?
I have not done breakups, but I have done plenty of I'm sorry's and and a couple of pieces of bad news.
This was a private video, but I'll just say two very close friends.
One of them could not find the words to let their other close friend know that they had accepted a job in another city and were going to have to move to another city. So they enlisted my help to break the bad news.
As I like to say, the bad news in a good way,
much like the late great Roger Rees did in Robin Hood Men in Tights.
I would just, if I were that person,
your face would make me angry for the rest of my life.
And that's fine.
You know what?
They paid for that right.
To be angry at my students
keep doing that good work I'll do cameos
where I just you know take a big
bong rip and say whatever they want me to say
but
to each his own and
I mean I'll also
say whatever you want me to say but
of course yeah well no
you've found an angle and
I think it works check douglasmovies.com Of course. Yeah. Well, no, you, you, you found an angle and, uh,
I think it works. Um,
check douglasmovies.com for updates on my stuff.
SF sketch fest got, uh, they punted that one down the field by, uh,
probably many months, maybe a year. So I decided on January 15th,
I'm coming to San Francisco anyway,
and doing a couple of standup shows at the Punchline there, which should go on soon.
But Douglovesmovies.com is where all my stuff is at.
Thank you one more time to Alex Edelman, Sam Levine, and David NoRelations Sanborn.
David, No Relations Sanborn.
As always, this is a short one, Matt,
so get ready with the theme song. As always, out. doing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!