Doug Loves Movies - Alison Rosen, Ken Jennings, Sean Jordan and Justin Robinson guest
Episode Date: September 9, 2015Live from Seattle's Neptune Theatre, Doug welcomes Alison Rosen, Ken Jennings, Sean Jordan and Justin Robinson to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pri...vacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers,
screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see
because Doug loves movies.. Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is the Club of Movies.
This is the Club of Nunes.
Coming to you once again from the gorgeous Neptune Theater,
featuring the Jacuzzi of the Gods portrait,
in Seattle, Washington! Yeah!
Washington!
Where lead is Weagle?
Yeah, it is.
It's Friday, September 4th, I'm pretty sure.
Let's call it 2015.
I want to see your name tags.
Seattle.
Oh, Lord.
There are some good ones.
I'd like to start by apologizing to the balcony.
There's a chance you'll get picked, but don't
fall off of it or something
just to try to get
picked. There's a lot of big ones down here.
A lot of good ones.
There's even a
make lead Weagle sign
already in the front row. I just said that.
I said it on
the radio this morning.
Oh, I like that movie, Win-Win. He changed
it to Edwin, Edwin.
Good job, Edwin.
My name's not Edwin.
That happens to me a lot.
Mad Max, your name is Max?
Rory. It's Rory?
Because it's Mad Max Rory Road.
Yeah, I'm stupid.
It's like an eye test.
Mad Max is in really big letters
I saw this today on the internet
Rise of the Janet of the Vapes
and she's got
she's got my face on the monkey
but it's the monkey
that leads everybody to monkey freedom
so I'm
honored
Orlando, Florida Doug Loves Movies comes to the improv to monkey freedom, so I'm honored.
Orlando, Florida.
Doug Loves Movies comes to the improv on International Drive this Wednesday, September 9th.
And Doug Loves Movies returns to the Wilbur Theater
in Boston on September 12th.
All of my stand-up and Doug Loves Movies dates
can be found at DougLovesMovies.com.
The prize bag, you guys.
Wait, but first, corrections department.
It's always terrible when I forget these,
so I've got to make sure I say from the corrections department,
it's fresh horses, not wild horses,
as I misstated in Last Man Stanton
in a round about Ben Stiller.
Apologies to all who were hurt by the error.
No one got hurt.
I don't think I won, even.
I don't think I won that time I don't think I won that time,
so it didn't affect the outcome,
but it's still fun that everybody corrects me.
There it is.
It's upside down, but it's there.
I brought one in my luggage,
got through TSA and everything.
It's the hilarious game of outlandish films.
Schmovie!
Somebody's gonna win a shmovie!
Also, oh my god,
today I was on
BJ and Migs
on
KSIW 99.9
and they gave me a bunch
of stuff. They're like, here, you wanna give this
away or do you wanna have it or whatever?
Whatever you wanna do. But holy shit, they gave me like, here, you want to give this away or do you want to have it or whatever? Whatever you want to do. But holy shit,
they gave me like, I'm just going to
throw these rolling papers out into
the crowd.
I don't know if rolling papers are that
hard to come by here these days,
but, you know, what the hell?
I'll just kind of toss them out there.
Hopefully they land on different
people, not in their faces.
Not in their eyeballs.
I think there's more.
You guys want more?
Like, how else would you respond to that?
No.
We saw that first round.
There was a lot of carnage.
We don't want to be a part of it.
Oh!
This mic stand, I always love it when they give the comedian the mic stand
like I'm going to play a guitar.
Oh, shit.
Congratulations, front row.
Because that's how far I could throw them.
Oh, my God.
We'll get you guys in the back
with some donuts In a little while
Also in the bag
This is why the bag is gonna be super heavy
It's a big
I'm not gonna throw it
What are you
Toss it to us
If you can't catch it you don't deserve it
Now this is a big heavy ass mug Toss it to us. If you can't catch it, you don't deserve it.
Now, this is a big heavy-ass mug from maddabbler.com.
And they got some more stuff in here.
I also included a T-shirt that's got my face on it
that's kind of weird.
That somebody made for me.
I can't wear this.
Can't wear that weird shirt.
But I appreciate it.
There's a copy of Promotional Tool.
Oh, there's some sort of energy bar
that they gave me in my hotel room.
It's called Zing.
Yeah, I don't want to eat that.
Oh, a grinder.
There's a nice grinder in here.
Yeah.
And, this is my favorite thing,
a fucking
donut hole catapult.
Yes!
That's pretty smart of them to make a big box of donuts not very easy to get into.
You know what I mean?
Like you're in the kitchen on Ambien.
Maybe you'll just give up after a while.
Oh.
All right, you guys sound like you want it.
I should tell all my guests waiting in the wings,
you'll get an opportunity to shoot a donut hole
into somebody's face.
All right, here we go.
I'm not going to try balcony just yet
because I don't know how good I am with this thing.
I'm going to try to get the second section if I can.
I told you I didn't think I'd be very good at it.
I was honest because it's a tricky You've got to get the right.
You've got to do it just right.
That wasn't bad.
That wasn't bad.
Let's get my
guests out here and we'll fuck around.
We'll mess around more
with that later.
Four great people that I was able to pull together
because they all happen to be in Seattle right now.
Please give a big warm welcome to Ken Jennings, Sean Jordan,
Justin Robinson, and Allison Rosen.
Thank you. I just stepped in the one that was on the stage.
I just stepped in it.
Unusual.
Stop yelling things.
You guys know I don't like it when you yell things.
Ah!
It just kind of lobs them out.
It's not as aggressive as I'd like in a hand catapult.
My guests are so polite.
What are you saying?
My guests are so polite this evening.
I don't know where to start.
So let's start with the lady to my left.
Allison Rosen is here.
She's our new best friend.
Allison Rosen is your new best friend.
It's the very popular podcast that you're in town to perform all weekend at Bumbershoot.
That is correct.
All three days.
Same time every day?
7 o'clock on Saturday.
Tomorrow.
Yes, on the day after tomorrow.
And 2 p.m. on the day after the day after tomorrow,
which is Monday.
7, 7, and 2?
7, 7, 2.
Okay.
I'll remember it like Herman Cain's 999.
Remember that?
Yes.
This is the new 999.
772. I got it.
Perfect.
Whoever's
in room 772 in my
hotel tonight is going to be kind of annoyed
at about
2 a.m.
Can we say it? Are we going to say it?
I would love to say it.
To kick it off, the first night,
Saturday night, the first of the
two sevens, I will
be joining Allison as one of her
guests over there. That's right.
Yeah.
So if you're going to Bumbershoot,
come on by for that. It's at the
Cornish Playhouse, and I've been plugging
it for weeks, is that I have a super,
super duper secret guest that everyone's going to be excited by. And I've been plugging it for weeks is that I have a super, super duper secret guest
that everyone's going to be excited by.
So I hope they are.
Oh, I'm that guest?
Yeah.
I was starting to get excited
about whoever you were talking about.
It's you.
Surprise!
No, I'm excited.
And I think all three of your shows
are going to be super fun
because they kind of come from different types of
episodes of the show that you do.
They do, yes. And the guy who does the music
for my show is going to be playing music live
at the shows.
So I think you'll get the same crowd
that the people have the three day passes or whatever
they're going to come every day because
they're going to want to see the whole thing
unfold and transpire.
That's the dream.
Yeah.
I think it's going to work.
Thank you for being here, Allison.
Thank you.
What do you have for the prize bag tonight?
Oh, okay.
Well, first of all, everyone should know I'm walking around with a Nordstrom's bag,
and it looks like I've just been shopping, but it's my prize bag.
It really does.
When you came in tonight, I was like, oh, she's really taking advantage of this trip to Seattle.
Hit a Nordstrom.
I wanted to go for some local wares.
So these are brand new T-shirts for my show.
They're not even for sale yet.
Please sound more excited or even a little bit excited.
They can't believe their mind.
I mean, they're very cute shirts,
so I don't know if roaring is the right response.
What, should it be like purring? She's my snuggle berries. I mean, they're very cute shirts, so I don't know if roaring is the right response. But it's...
What, should it be like purring?
She's my snuggle berries.
It's a thing from the podcast.
And then I know that you said, hey, what they get is what they get.
But I'm bringing an option.
Two sizes, you guys, are going in the prize bag.
So like if this guy wins, he doesn't have to stretch it all out Like he did with my shirt
That's right
And some brand new stickers
This guy doesn't give a shit about sizes
Society and their sizes
Nicki Minaj
That's a well loved t-shirt
I can tell because it's grey
But it was white
No we put out a gray version of it
that now he's somehow made it less gray.
Oh, okay.
It's faded gray.
Alright, so here's my stuff.
Thank you, and some stickers.
From Allison Rosen is your new best friend.
Allison Rosen, everybody.
Also joining us on the panel,
I was on the program this morning, BJ and Migs,
on the local rock station, and this is Justin Robinson,
but on that show he goes by Rev and Fuego, everybody.
Rev and Fuego is here.
How's it going, guys?
And you come up with all the questions for that.
Formerly Beat the Producer,
now Beat...
Beat Migs.
Beat Migs, who is still the former producer,
now the co-host.
Yes.
And it's a game where you just list off
a bunch of questions and you have
60 seconds.
I love it. If I lived here,
I guess I could listen to it via satellite.
I'm going to take this
back. I'm going to listen to it every day from now on.
Because they do it twice a day
and it's just super fun to play along
and be smarter
than me and
Migs.
He's not very good at it.
You had some stumpers today.
I thought I had some questions that you would get
that he wouldn't. I was trying to lean it a little
towards you. Oh my god, I've already
got him beat hands down
just because it's movies.
I thought you would know that Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett
were in Robin Hood, but you had no idea.
I was like, Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett, but Robin Hood, but you had no idea. I was like, Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett,
but I kept harboring on the fact
that you said it was a supernatural...
No, that was the Dracula one.
Oh, shit.
I called him a folk hero,
and apparently you don't think...
Supernatural folk hero is how he described Dracula.
But what did you call Robin Hood
when you were talking about...
You described that weird, too.
It was a folk hero that
Russell Crowe played in a movie
that also starred Cate Blanchett.
Yeah, I could not pull that he was in that
Robin Hood movie, but I guess
because the movie was so forgettable
is my excuse.
What did you bring for the prize bag?
I brought a bunch of geeky shit
because I was just at PAX last year
or last week.
Oh, that you like.
Respond to that, yes.
I got some, an Avengers ice cube tray.
Fuck you, T-shirts.
Come on, you guys. Come on, you guys.
Come on, you guys.
Snuggleberries.
Come on.
Let's not get ridiculous.
Too little, too late.
Got a Rock Band 4 koozie.
See, now that,
I can't believe you have that enthusiasm
for that item.
They gave it to me because I played it up on stage.
So, I mean, come on.
Yeah, you did hold it up in a fanciful way.
What else?
Yeah, there you go.
A Deuce X figurine.
It's in French, so promotionnelle figurine.
That's cool.
And then also a BJ and Migs t-shirt
One size extra large
They just don't like t-shirts
That's what I deduced
Sorry I stole your bit
It's not a real t-shirt crowd
I just noticed they have a couple more sitting over here
That are going to be in the bag
So yeah, somebody's going to get a lot of shirts
Whether they like it or not
But you know what?
You probably have a car you need to a washer
Acid needs for happy
Oh
My god, have you ever done that suddenly I really want to do that that seems really luxurious
It would be yeah, just super luxurious to just wipe your ass with a nice
cotton
low-neck tee.
Yeah.
V-neck. Low-neck is what I came up with.
That's how bad I am at describing
clothing.
A low-neck BP tee.
Let's meet the rest of the fellas.
We can't do this show in Seattle
without asking Ken Jennings to appear.
Not gonna do it.
Not gonna do it.
Local folk hero, Ken Jennings.
Yes.
Supernatural.
Non-supernatural folk hero.
Thanks for having me back. Ken Jennings. Yes. Supernatural. Non-supernatural folk hero.
Thanks for having me back.
From all those great Portland Woods episodes of Jeopardy,
he sprang to national fame.
International, I imagine, in English-speaking places.
I don't think so.
No?
They have it in Australia.
Oh, okay. Occasionally in Australia, it'll be like,
Blimey, you is on me telly, or whatever they say in Australia. So occasionally in Australia it'll be like, Blimey, you was on me telly,
or whatever they say in Australia.
Well, they love that, but you just did.
Big fan for that.
But I guess they'd probably rather be confused
with England than New Zealand,
so that was good.
That was a step up.
And do you have any Bumbershoot activities this weekend?
I know you've done stuff there in the past.
No, I'm...
Doug Loves Movies is my only quasi-Bumbershoot appearance.
I thought you had, like, appeared with a book one time or something.
The first time I got you is because you were there for something else.
Yeah, I did a trivia night once and then I did a comedy thing last year.
Listen, trivia night, don't cut yourself down like that.
Like it's quizzes and games are important.
It's not just trivia.
Please sit in this trivia ghetto, Ken, and answer your little questions.
That's what they said.
What did you bring from the prize bag from the trivia hole you live in?
I have a couple trivia books.
I have the two latest of my Junior Genius Guides for children of all ages,
Outer Space and the human body.
So just me talking to little kids about how their bodies work,
like I often do.
Could we get the audio version of that?
Ken, come in and have a seat.
And I have a Jeopardy water bottle,
which I love because it says,
do you have a thirst for knowledge?
Which I do.
I wish I could remember the guy's name,
but when I was at the radio station this morning,
he was sitting in with his wife.
Do you remember?
His name was Corey.
Corey made a bunch of these these and he gave me one.
It's a bottle opener, but it's in the shape
of the Seattle Seahawk.
I don't know if you guys are familiar with this,
but it's a team some people love.
I don't know where they are tonight.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
In Seattle! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! are tonight.
It's like I have my own version of when a band gets yelled at, Free Bird, you know?
Mine will forever be Amy Adams.
Were you there when that happened?
You started it, Doug.
You mentioned the Seahawks.
Boy, you guys really like soccer, don't you?
Sean, you get one for that.
I'll eat it.
Here you go.
I'll try again.
What are those?
Donut holes.
Eight balls of cocaine is what they are.
Here you go. Catch this one.
You catch the third one, everybody goes nuts.
If I would have caught that,
I should have been the center fielder for the Mariners. I swear this never happens to me, guys.
This never happens to me.
Sean Jordan is here, everybody.
Portland.
Portland, Oregon.
Phenom.
In town.
You're goddamn right.
I guess Seattle can get along okay with Portland
because you don't have a football team.
We don't. Well, we have a soccer team.
First of all, just so we're clear,
Robin Hood is Kevin Costner and Madeline Stowe.
That's the real Robin Hood.
Whoa.
I had to bring that up.
With Alan Rickman
as the Sheriff
of Nottingham, Mr. Potter.
Ho, ho, ho.
That was my weird way of bringing it all in full circle just so I could do my Alan Rickman.
Do you want to try and catch one?
I'd love to try to catch any of them that came at me, Doug.
Damn it!
That's a catchable ball.
We could have fooled everybody
if you guys would have just acted like I caught it.
I'm sorry, Allison.
This is probably the first time you've ever had to sit on stage
with infantile behavior going on.
No, I've done your show before.
It's a first, right?
No, I've done your show before.
It's a first, right?
He fouls it off. The count is 2-0.
You're at work right now, Derek. There are starving people that would love to have
this catapult to play with.
There's stone people out here that would love to have these.
Alright.
Did you bring something for the bag?
Did we talk about it already?
We did not.
I did.
Feels like we might have.
I guarantee that we didn't.
I got some shirts from Cheese Wizards.
They are really good.
Yeah?
Just give them a plug.
Put them in the bag.
And what do you got, Sean?
I have a DVD of Ghostbusters,
Groundhog's Day, and Stripes.
Why doesn't actual stand-up work like that?
That'd be so tight.
Some popcorn, because I do that when I watch movies,
and then a bunch of Sour Patch Kids,
because that's also what I do when I watch movies.
Yeah, Sour Patch Kids are the shit.
Glad everybody knows.
I want someone to catch it in their mouth.
Sean, would you like to do the honors?
Do I get to do that?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Into someone's mouth, please.
I'd very much like to see that go into somebody's mouth.
Anyone on the panel is welcome to try.
We only have the one catapult.
He caught it in his hand and put it in his mouth.
Let's have him eject it from the theater, please.
I'm going to do it.
Do you want to try one, Allison?
Yes, please.
Allison's in, you guys.
Get up there, AR. You got this.
AR 15.
All right, is there a trick?
Or do you have any advice?
My advice is don't do it like you watch me do it.
Just make sure you clear the goalposts.
Pull it back really hard.
I didn't pull it back that hard because I was scared.
Also, keep the donut in the holster.
Hey, I'm not an athlete, okay?
Five second rule.
Yes.
Oh, we got a southpaw.
Pick that shit up. Oh!
You know, it wasn't the greatest shot, but it was dramatic.
It was very...
Oh, she's going around, too.
Oh, she's gonna do another one after that.
Okay. Double tap it. Kill shot.
She got her taste buds right. Oh, nice!
There it was. Nice.
Very nice learning curve on that one.
Thank you. Very good.
Justin, would you like to try?
Oh, sure.
Do I get a fresh one, or should I use an old one?
Oh, I don't know.
This crowd seems like they'll eat anything.
People love a good floor donut.
Oh, that's going to go.
Did that go in the balcony?
I'd like to see somebody hit the balcony.
Hit out the lights like the end of the natural.
I think he deflated.
Call shot, Ken.
Call shot.
There you go.
Ken Jennings.
Almost to the front row.
You know what you did wrong.
You know what you did wrong.
For those listening, Ken Jennings called his shot and hit a grounder. Didn't go into a mouth, but it's still pretty effective. Roll in! Roll in! Roll in!
Didn't go into a mouth,
but it was still pretty effective.
I can't believe I just get to do that.
I should have mentioned earlier in the show vaping is more get-away-able
in this venue than lighting anything on fire.
Just for tonight, anyway.
I gotta wonder how inconspicuous
somebody thinks that is.
I don't know.
I was doing a show in Wichita recently,
and people were just lighting stuff up
while the vapor people were getting off scot-free.
It was pretty crazy.
All right, who wants to get one in their mouth
that's not sitting too far away
so it's actually doable?
All right.
Stand up, sir. There you go. It's coming right into your mouth. Here's not sitting too far away, so it's actually doable. All right. Stand up, sir.
There you go.
It's coming right into your mouth. Here we go.
Oh, yes!
I said oh, yes
because it went down her cleavage, which is even
better.
It's a real movie moment.
All right, so we got more for
we could do that later,
but the listeners are really not having a good time.
No, they're still in. They're in.
They're loving it.
I don't know about that.
Have you been to the movies lately, Sean Jordan?
Have you seen any films you want to mention,
good or bad?
Yeah, I saw Straight Outta Compton recently.
And...
Yeah, it was great.
And I also saw American Ultra yesterday.
A little less than Straight Outta Compton.
I wanted to see Compton, but I couldn't get Compton.
Ha ha.
What a racist.
So I bought a ticket and I enjoyed it a great deal.
Fuck the police.
No.
It was really good.
I gotta wonder in what world though
Suge Knight and Dr. Dre are looking eye to eye
in any situation
Suge Knight's a fucking giant
and Dr. Dre ain't
Dr. Dre seems like a tall fellow to me
yeah but Suge Knight
I don't know they're just looking eye to eye
but I did like the movie
that was my only beef with the movie
was that they were eye to eye
I don't see that in the real world.
Other than that, I really dug it.
That's awesome.
Ken, have you been movie going lately?
I saw Compton last week.
I saw Mission Impossible also.
Rogue Nation.
Rogue Nation.
Yes.
I like those because, you know,
I guess we've now decided that Tom Cruise is not,
we're not going to buy him as a heterosexual
leading man anymore.
So these movies have no
superfluous love interest anymore.
They don't even care.
He doesn't look twice at the girl in her underwear
when they're doing their thing. He's too busy
holding his breath for seven minutes.
He's on the outside of the plane.
He doesn't want to kiss anybody.
That's what I like about those movies. He's on the outside of the plane. He doesn't want to kiss anybody. That's what I like about those movies.
He's like, we need somebody sexy in this movie.
Let's call Alec Baldwin.
And we'll have sexy arguments
where we're both mostly whispering.
We will loud whisper at each other.
We'll dramatically whisper.
Was Alec Baldwin sweating everywhere?
About rogue nations.
Seeing all the sexy sweating.
Jeremy Renner can come in and jam.
Now there's a sexy gentleman right there.
Yeah, right.
What about you, the Reverend in Fuego?
Have you been to the cinema?
Yes, saw American Ultra this week.
I actually liked it, except I kept thinking that Jesse Eisenberg was trying to channel, like, Michael Cera.
He was trying to be Michael Cera.
Right, they get confused for each other all the time, which is amazing to me,
because I think they're both pretty individual talents.
Yeah, and I kind of wish they would have gotten Michael Cera for this one.
Oh, snappage!
Well, the thing about Eisenberg is he's kind of hard to buy in the parts
where he's not smart because he's really been
pigeonholed into playing smart characters
or at least people act like they're smart.
He's so fucking full of himself
in that magician movie.
I wanted to murder his
balls. Now you see me.
But the violence in the
movie was pretty awesome. Good violence,
yes. It was really good violence.
I agree.
I wish I could come to terms
with how much I love violence in movies
but deplore it in the real world.
It becomes tricky when a movie that great
comes out around the time of senseless violence.
What if I were the opposite?
Can't stand it in movies, but love it in real life.
You know, I appreciate that perspective,
but I'm going to have to ask you to go.
I could see it going either way.
I mean, that's the thing about...
I've held a gun in my hand a couple of times,
and it does feel great.
There's something about it that's like it's a really great feeling.
Did you get to fire it?
I've never fired a real gun.
That feels really awesome.
It's probably even better, yeah.
I guess.
I don't know.
Because when you're just holding it, it feels powerful,
but you don't have to deal with that kickback.
I had that experience with the donut catapult.
I mean...
Right?
When it comes back at you,
it's like, I wish I had never fired this damn thing.
Allison, have you been in the movies?
Yes, I went and saw a movie called
Pretty Little Liars, seasons one through four on Netflix.
But also, I saw Call Me Lucky,
that documentary that Bobcat Goldthwait directed
oh that's terrific yes
Barry Crimmins
has had three
very interesting
long chapters in his
storied life
and Bobcat captures it all
and also I mean I thought I knew
about Barry Crimmins and there was stuff in there
that I hadn't seen before,
but people who don't know him at all will find it very fascinating.
Aren't you a comedian?
I'm sorry, I just try to translate exactly what I hear.
And growing up, all of my teachers, I was in Charlie Brown's class.
What was the question, sir?
Aren't you a comedian?
Aren't I a comedian is your question?
Let me answer a question with a question.
Aren't you a drunken asshole?
I mean, just the way he's saying,
aren't you a comedian?
It's not sharp, you know?
It's not like in England they'd be like,
aren't you a comedian?
Perhaps it's time to tell some jokes.
Or what if he said it like a compliment,
like, aren't you a comedian? Oh.
Hey, aren't you a comedian? Hey, aren't you
a comedian?
Well, I guess I'll take my boxers off.
Aren't you a comedian?
I'm sorry, sir, if you were
expecting comedians. That was cancelled
and replaced with just dry talk.
I don't know if you've noticed,
but everyone is as disgusted as you are.
What about the donut hole stuff? That was hilarious.
That's what he should have yelled at.
I was actually probably saying something clever at some point
beyond the donut throw-in.
Aren't you a donut hole marksman?
I didn't see that exit sign get grazed once, dog.
I came here for constant donut hole action.
Aren't you a prop comedian?
I was hoping Gallagher was in town and I settled for this.
If you're sitting in the first three rows,
you're gonna get donutty, folks.
I told my wife we should not move to Washington,
and I was right.
You go out in public,
and people will throw rolling papers and donuts at you.
It is a living nightmare.
Okay, I got another question
I want to ask everybody, even though
I should be moving on to the game portion
of the show, but I'm
fascinated by this, and
it's starting with Sean. Nine inches.
Wow.
Great.
Pass. Comedy. Two more answers until Wow Great Pass Comedy
Two more answers until Allison decides what to do with that
Name that penis
Ken
But seriously
Movie that makes you man sob
Like movie that makes you lose your shit when you see it
I was talking on Twitter today About movies that just make me sob Movie that makes you man-sob. Like, movie that makes you lose your shit when you see it.
I was talking on Twitter today about movies that just make me sob every time I see them.
Nobody asked you, dog.
Did you see that weird, that Richard Gere dog movie?
I am!
What a fucking...
I mean, it's much sadder when a happy dog dies
than when a dog just waits for something.
It's a different kind of sad.
It's like sad on a time delay.
Like, I feel sadder about that dog in the movie right now
than I did the entire time I was watching that movie.
Because thinking about it makes me sad,
but watching it made me go,
okay, how long are we going to watch this dog
watch to wait for whatever he's waiting for?
Do you have an answer, Sean?
I can't...
Aren't you a comedian?
I have an answer.
Die hard, because I get sad when it's over.
Hey, hilarious, hilarious.
It's a comic, huh?
No, I can't think of any,
but I do remember that Pursuit of Happiness made me cry.
We could come back to you and you could just take one of somebody else's.
No, I like being on the ball.
Pursuit of Happiness made me cry when I watched it.
I can't remember anything that makes me cry every time,
but that's an answer, right?
If you watch it again, you'd probably cry again, right?
I'd probably cry, yeah. Okay, that counts. You're goddamn, but that's an answer, right? If you watch it again, you'd probably cry again, right? I'd probably cry.
Okay, that counts.
You're goddamn right.
That's my definition.
I was just saying,
a guy on Twitter today was like,
I saw this movie
that made me cry the first time.
I'll have a better one.
Implying that when he saw it again,
he didn't cry.
And my argument was that
if it makes you cry once,
it's going to happen every time.
Ken, do you have one?
Feel the Dreams, I guess?
That's like, that's safe for a guy to say.
He cries like a little.
You're like, my dad wouldn't take me out to a field.
He made me learn stuff.
He made me a different kind of champion.
I just wanted to go home and play Jeopardy
with my trivial person with dad.
It goes to your dad, walks out from between the podiums.
Right.
You're right, son.
It's all a question.
That'd be a fun Jeopardy question.
What makes Ken cry every time he sees it?
What is...
Nine inches.
What is life all about?
Nine inches.
What is life all about?
No.
Finally, we have a comedian up here.
Aren't you a Jeopardy champion?
Be smart.
Say something smart, not about Sean's dick.
I thought you were a trivia guy.
So funny. No, I like little things.
I like, you know.
What do you mean little things?
Listen.
Anybody else have movies that make them cry?
Well, no, we got to ask Justin and Allison.
I'm sure they've both come up with one.
The Pixar movies always make me cry.
But Inside Out.
Especially Ratatouille.. Especially Ratatouille.
Yeah, Ratatouille.
But no, was it Inside Out?
The one with all the feelings and stuff?
Right, right.
With the theme song by Diana Ross.
Inside out.
Boy, you're turning me.
Allison, what about you?
What do you...
Two movies that made me cry man tears.
So they're sports films?
In a way.
That's another question for another day.
It's like, what movies of triumph
made you cry? Like when the team won.
Those are so cowardly sounding though when I say them out loud.
Allison, what is it?
I was surprised. Frozen.
I cried throughout Frozen.
I don't know why.
And also, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
That is a very sad movie, in parts.
You mean you cry when they're trying desperately to get into the pants?
Oh, so you've seen it?
Because it fits all four of them.
Oh, parts one and duh.
I saw pants, duh.
They're all lovely actresses, though, so good for them.
But what's sad about it?
Does something die?
Yeah.
Spoilers.
The pants got stuck at a bus station.
One of the plot lines involving Serena Vanderwoodson from Gossip Girl, Blake Lively, when she had her old nose.
Meow.
She had a really old nose in Age of Adaline.
Do we say spoilers or not?
I mean, the movie came out in like 1961.
I just ruined Age of Adaline and it's only a year old, so go nuts.
It was a while ago.
It's less than that, right?
Sorry.
It was a while ago that I saw it,
but I think she's mourning her mom's death, right?
Yeah.
And that part makes you cry?
Yeah, I'm weird that way.
Not when they get back together at the end
and they're like, holy holy shit we all saved the pants
Then I cried happy tears
How did we do that
And then they had to take the pants out back and shoot them
Right
That was awful
You guys remember the prequel to that
Pants, trains and automobiles
They shot it because the pants came back
From a trip abroad with rabies.
Yeah.
It was so sad.
Oh, foamy pants.
Vicious foamy pants.
Vicious foamy pants.
The old VFP.
Yeah, you know me.
You know me.
Time for me to say this, you guys.
Let the games begin!
I'm still sorting things out,
putting things in the prize bag.
It's a crazy night here tonight.
Someone's
going to go home with a lot of
heavy stuff.
You want us to go, girl?
Good luck carrying this stuff.
What's that?
All right, yeah. Let's see your name tags.
Everybody pick a name tag, lady
and gentlemen.
Go grab the name tag you want to play for.
Bring it back to your seat.
While you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
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We're back.
Sean, who are you playing for?
Tyler, I imagine.
And that sparks another movie that does make me cry every time.
It's Titanic.
That's why I grabbed it. Oh, there you go. I knew cry every time is Titanic. That's why I grabbed it.
Oh, there you go. I knew you'd come up with one eventually.
And I like it.
Look at you and Tyler on the Titanic together.
Oh, we're on the edge of the ship
in the classic pose.
You're the big spoon.
Delightful.
It's fun. You die, though.
Yeah, I prefer that power position.
You're going to be dead though in like 10 hours
after this
alright good job Tyler Tannick
who do you have there Ken
I assume Emily because it says
Emelian ways to die
in the west
Emily ways to die
Emelian ways to die
yeah sure
another movie that makes me cry.
I think she stuck my face
over Liam Neeson's too.
I appreciate that.
It's true.
What do you got there, Justin?
I've got Ed Word.
Like Ed Wood.
Word.
And then there's Edward Cullen
there, Mr. Robert Pattinson.
And it's pink.
And the guy made his name's Ed?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would hope so.
What?
I would hope so.
Yeah.
Maybe even Edward.
Edward?
I don't know.
But my face is on there a couple times, so thanks for that.
And Amy Adams.
I don't appreciate that one bit.
I was there, by the way. I don't know why Robert Pattinson's on there I don't have beef with him necessarily
or Amy Adams
I don't have any problems with Amy Adams
Allison what do you got
oh you picked one of my favorites
it's even got a baked good on it I just noticed
it's Rise of the Janet
of the Vapes
and yeah it's got a little treat bake good on it I just noticed. It's Rise of the Janet of the Vapes.
And yeah, it's got a little treat stuck to the front.
I'd make a pretty good monkey, I think.
And there's
little LED star lights
all the way around it. Yeah, it's really just
a star production all around.
It's really well done.
It's got a battery pack. And it's laminated.
Can I see it?
This is pretty impressive.
And she remembered to write a shithead on the back,
which of course we'll save for the end of the show.
Good job.
Good job there, Janet.
What is that edible that's taped on there?
I mean, I assume when I use the word edible that it's...
It's like a brick of heroin.
Some of that new new, dude.
You got that gack on there.
I like it.
What is it?
It's a very nice brownie.
It's very polite.
If I introduce that brownie to my mom,
it'll shake her hand and treat her like a lady.
This brownie will get you home before midnight.
Very nice brownie.
All right, Allison, you can put that...
I don't want to make you hold that lit-up thing the whole night.
I don't want to get you electrocuted or something.
Oh, I can turn it off, apparently.
Oh, there's an off switch somewhere.
Good luck with that.
But thank you to everybody for making name tags tonight.
It's always a great group of name tags here in Seattle.
And for buying
tickets and being here with us
and enjoying the rest of the
show. Thank you for all of that.
And thank you for
refreshing my drink.
Neptune Theater.
The Neptune, the god of mixed
beverages.
The God of drinks.
Sees over this entire establishment.
Oh, I forgot to say, mine that makes me sob, did I say it already, is Marley and Me?
You did not say it.
That's mine.
Marley's an asshole for most of the movie.
But then, at one point, you're just like, no, Marley's an asshole for most of the movie. But then at one point you're just like, no, Marley.
And then that's, it's the worst.
Let's start with a little game called How Much Did This Shit Make?
In honor of the new transporter film,
The Transporter Refueled,
transporter film,
The Transporter Refueled.
I would like to ask you guys to guess
in millions without going
over, Price is Right
style,
how much money this movie made in its
entire domestic run according to
boxofficemojo.com.
Don't help out audience.
The very first
The Transporter
Like there's been three
There were three transporters and now he's refueled
And
Had a couple Red Bulls
How much did the very first one make
To set off that chain of events
We'll start with Ken
Wow
Yeah
Well it got him to greenlight all the sequels, so...
Right?
I feel like it should be pretty solid.
Uh-huh.
I'll go...
75.
$75.
$75 American dollars. $75. $75 American dollars.
You could just say one if you're going to do that tactic.
75 yen.
75 mil.
All right, Justin, what do you think?
I'll just say 48 million.
Okay.
I don't think it did that good.
All right.
Sean?
I'm going to say 10 million dollars.
How much?
It's not a real number.
I was making a joke.
You said 10 million?
I said 10 million.
Okay.
Try to be funny, Doug.
I thought you were
a mathematician. No, no.
This show doesn't need more numbers.
It needs more comedians.
How much, Sean?
Oh, I don't know.
68 million dollars.
68. Alright, so when we come to
Allison, we've got
75 from Ken, 48 from Justin, 68 from Sean.
It's millions of dollars without going over.
What would you like to bid?
Hmm, I'm very torn between whether to go high or to go low.
I told you not to help.
Everybody here went high.
What's the lowest one someone said?
What was the lowest one someone said?
It's the most audible, huh?
I think it was like 40...
I said 48.
48.
About 48.
48 is the lowest, yeah.
$12.
No faith in Jason Statham.
Thank you for not saying a dollar.
$1.
Okay, let me write down $12
and then look over at the number next to it.
Okay, I've done my calculations.
And the movie only made 25.2 million dollars
so Allison is the winner
the only one who didn't go over
but then part two made like 40 million
and then three came down a little bit
and they're probably
you know they probably make them sort of cheaply
although the stunts
seem pretty good, you know?
I'm not here to crucify transporter movies.
I've never been the biggest fan, but I'm not against them.
Has anybody seen this new one, The Refueled?
No?
The Transporter Refueled is about the transgender bathroom attendant.
Sounds like this film series is out of gas.
All right, so Allison gets to start off this next game,
which might be not a good thing for her.
Because I like to play this game, but it
confuses people sometimes.
But people request it, so let's do
a round of Build a Title, everybody.
See, the
demand is there.
Are you suggesting I'm
going to be easily confused, which is fair?
No, I'd say
that anybody
can be, and often is, confused by this game.
Okay, great.
But you have to start us off. So I was just saying your win in that last game is now turning into your nightmare.
Because you have to figure this shit out.
I'll give you a starter title. Like, for instance, if the first title was The Godfather,
we'd lose the the.
We don't have thes in this game.
And then you'd have to add a title of another movie
to the beginning or end of Godfather.
So you could do like, Oh Godfather,
or Godfather of the Bride.
Okay.
Got it?
Got it.
I think so.
Your starter title is Firewall.
Set here in Seattle.
Starring Harrison Ford and Chloe from 24.
Okay.
Wally.
There you go.
Fire Wally.
WALL-E. There you go. Fire WALL-E.
Justin?
Fire Wall-E. Oh my god. Yeah, so you need a movie that begins with E or WALL-E
or Fire WALL-E or ends in fire.
There's got to be a title out there.
I thought of one that ends with fire.
Can you think of one?
This might be the shortest round of Build a Title
in the history of...
It's a tough game.
People in the audience are muttering answers.
If you've got great hearing, you're all set.
I've got nothing.
All right, Justin's out.
Ken's got to have something.
Firewall
E.T. the Extraterrestrial.
Yes! I like to say that the rest of the title is
End His Adventures on Earth
or In His Adventures on Earth
depending on what you're looking at
and in this case maybe we should include that
because what other movie begins with terrestrial?
So, Sean, yeah, you need something that begins with earth
or ends with fire and maybe has wind somewhere in there as well.
Yeah, you laugh at my jokes,
you get a donut.
What?
One of my favorite movie titles is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
I have it tattooed on my inner thigh right,
and it just so happens that it coincides with this Build-A-Title situation.
I can't remember the rest.
And that was right? It's called Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?
If the tattoo artist fucked it up, I'd have to go kill him.
I'm not going to show it because it's not real.
It's more that humor for your boy over there. I'd have to go kill him. I'm not going to show it because it's not real.
It's more that humor for your boy over there. Yeah, that's Goblet of Fire.
That was just magician code for magician.
They're not magicians, Doug.
They actually do that stuff.
It was wizard code for Goblet of Fire
as wizard code for Lindsay Lohan is approaching.
I don't know why I dragged Lindsay Lohan
into it. I could have just said venereal disease.
Alright, so...
It's funny
watching the deep thought going to Allison's
fate. Firewall E
T, the extraterrestrial
on Earth,
and then what did you do to it?
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firewall.
It's a movie that ends with Harry.
E, T, and His Adventure on Earth.
So Allison, you need something that
begins with Earth or ends with Harry.
Just, or hair.
Sure, just hair.
If you know a movie that ends in just hair.
I don't know one either, but you know.
That documentary,
I'm making about blow drying your hair too close.
Did they make a movie of hair?
I don't think that would work.
It wouldn't work.
I would like to smush it in.
They did, but you're not adding anything.
You're just keeping hair right where it is.
And we're trying to build the title.
So you need to say something hair or earth something.
Earth.
Earth.
Earth.
Yeah.
I can think of...
Can you think of one?
None so far.
Oh, I got one.
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Hair?
You do.
I feel like there should be a Harry.
Henderson's and the Harry.
Wait, what is it called?
Henderson's and the Harry.
It's a 70s porno.
I should...
All the Hendersons got in. It's a 70s porno. I should... I should keep you in...
All the Hendersons got in.
I should keep you in for creativity,
but that's not the correct title.
Okay.
But let's go to...
Shush, shush, shush, shush!
Let's go to...
Drunk in the Balcony.
Let's go to Ken,
and you have to add to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
while E.T.,
the extraterrestrial, and his adventures on Earth.
We're doing Earth?
We're doing Earth.
Because I was going to say the extraterrestrial genius.
Does that not count?
Terrestrial genius?
That's good.
Really? You think there's such a thing as a treel genius?
I'll do Earth.
Yeah, yeah. No, I like that one.
I can do Earth. No, you're good.
Do Earth, though. I'll do, and it's
Adventures on Earth, Girls Are Easy.
Yes, that's the one.
I just wanted to hear it.
I just wanted to hear it. I just wanted to hear it.
Something that begins with...
Wow, it sounds like a professional wrestler in the audience.
Starts with easy or ends with hairy.
Story of my life.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I want to dive into how that's the story of your life,
but we don't have time for that.
I'm just telling you, there's so many instances where it really
starts easy and turns out to be pretty hairy.
Hella hairy.
Well, we'll say Easy A.
Easy A, of course.
Wow, there's probably a lot of movies that begin with A.
Does it have to make the A, or can it be a?
Who's asking?
It's a legitimate question. I'm just asking.
I don't think you need to worry about it.
Sorry I wasn't that funny, but some stuff is real.
I just need to know.
It's currently Ken's problem.
So can it be a?
I prefer it be A
because the movie's called Easy A
and not Easy Uh.
Mom, I got an A.
I got an uh plus.
If I didn't fuck it up,
it would have been a lot tighter.
How'd you do in school?
Uh. All uhs.
Straight uh, baby.
I got an uh minus.
Uh.
That was weightless.
Let's go with A.
Um.
I don't think I have an A movie.
Holy shit.
I will do Dirty Harry, Potter and the Goblet of Fire,
Wall, E, T, The Extraterrestrials,
The Witches on Earth, Girls Are Easy.
Nice job.
Didn't have an A, but he pulled it out anyway.
Sean, it's back at you.
This turned into a really...
That is crazy how...
First of all, I wouldn't expect Hulk Hogan to be at my show.
Pressure.
I love Seattle, brother.
There's no black people
Oh yeah
Wait that's Randy Savage
Nevermind
I am a real American
Of course you know
Oh no you didn't
To not Feels like it's getting out of hand,
to not stall, I can't think of,
is there a movie that's, oh, Amy.
Shit, Amy, the movie, Amy Winehouse just came out?
Sure, Amy, Amy.
Yeah, Amy.
Yeah, Amy.
Amy, yeah, yeah.
Still in it.
Amy, yeah.
Look at me.
You're lucky they didn't call that movie Amy Winehouse.
Oh, no, it still would have worked out.
I know the name of the movie,
so I didn't call it Amy Winehouse.
I called it Amy.
So do you have anything that begins with Amy
or ends with dirty?
How about, like, Joe Dirt?
Yeah, Joe Dirty.
Joe Dirty? Yeah. Joe Dirty.
Joe Dirty Herring Potter and the Goblet of Fire
while E.T. the Extraterrestrial
and his adventures on Earth Girls
are easy Amy.
A. Meet the Parents.
What?
Meet the Parents.
A. Meet the Parents? All right, I'll take it. What do you mean you'll take it? Meet the parents. A, meet the parents?
All right, I'll take it.
What do you mean you'll take it?
It's perfect.
Like, it works.
It's perfectly taken by me.
Meet the parents.
Rents.
So you need something that ends in rents.
I mean, begins with rents.
What's the first one, though?
Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
Joe.
Oh, Joe.
Wow. Oh. Oh. I won't say another word. Do you have something Ken?
Tough one.
Joe. Something Joe.
And I'll just help you out a little bit. There's never been a motion picture based
on a little bit. There's never been a motion picture based on a sloppy joke.
You got anything?
Meet the pair rinse side out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
They're not having that one.
That one, the whole audience is sadness on that one Okay, no, no, I got it, I got it, I got it
Meet the pair, Ren, see no man
Oh
Yeah
I think it works
Okay, first of all, that one is awesome but very questionable
Because you have to pronounce the T in Rent I think it works. First of all, that one is awesome, but very questionable.
Because you have to pronounce the T in rent,
and there's no T in Encino.
But also, that was his second try,
and of course, there's no second tries in baseball.
Encino man on fire, just so we're clear.
I could have kept going.
This show's just like baseball.
One strike and you're out.
I thought of, in the clinch there,
I thought of, there was a movie, Killer Joe.
Yeah, the Matthew McConaughey joint?
Yeah, yeah. But I couldn't think of anything to add to Rance. Did you guys think of something?
Rance?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but there was Attack of the Cobra
at the end of it, right? Or wasn't there?
You don't want to talk about it now? Attack of the Cobra at the end of it, right? Or wasn't there? You don't want to talk about it now?
Rise of the Cobra.
What was it?
G.I. Joe.
G.I. Joe.
But the first one is just G.I. Joe, right?
It's got a subtitle?
Yeah, I thought they all had subtitles.
Oh, yeah, G.I. Joe would work.
I imagine a real American hero was somewhere.
I asked them about rents, and they're yelling G.I. Joe at me.
They were yelling it at me.
I'm just sticking up for myself.
What'd she say?
Bear trap.
I don't know.
Bear trap?
But it's not the parents trap.
Oh, parent trap.
Parents trap.
All right.
That was still
a pretty good one.
Good job, everybody.
Bravo.
Let's see how we're doing on time.
All right, I think we have time to do this.
Let's play a round of Last Man Stanton.
Lots of people write in on Twitter
with suggestions on this one
and I always
just have to pick somebody
and give...
There's always somebody that thinks...
It's crazy.
People always think they have the perfect name.
Like, I've got this. I've got the perfect
name for you. And they're like,
alright, what is it? They're like, Billy Barty
or whatever.
What compels somebody 45 minutes in to be like no I got this
I got this
I fucking got it
yeah so
I just watched
Kurt Russell would be a great one
I think we've done
I think we've done it before but yeah
it's a great suggestion
I think we just done it before, but yeah, it's a great suggestion.
I think we just did it like recently.
You're sure you've done him? I think a lot of things.
You're sure you've done him?
Because that one's easy.
Kurt Russell's easy?
Yeah, for me it would be.
All right, gauntlet thrown.
We're doing Kurt Russell.
We're doing Kurt Russell.
If it's easy for Allison,
we gotta do it.
Good news, guys. It's easy for Allison.
But we're starting with Sean.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
I didn't mean to bum you out.
And then we're going to Ken.
Kurt Russell movies.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But we'll still play another game,
so it doesn't mean you're completely out.
What are you talking about?
Tombstone.
You first.
Tombstone.
Tombstone.
Great, great movie.
Tombstone versus Wyatt Earp.
Wyatt Earp fucking sucked it.
I'm sorry to put such a fine point on it,
but Wyatt Earp fucking sucked it.
That Wyatt Earp was better as Robin Hood. I love incisive film criticism.
Ken, what do you got?
Any Kurt Russell movie.
I will go...
A lot of great options at this point.
So many classics.
Miracle.
Miracle, yes.
The hockey movie.
The Miracle on Ice.
Justin? There's a movie you can cry sob at, Ice. Justin?
There's a movie you can cry sob at, man.
Right?
That's pretty good.
Pretty good emotionally.
Soviets suck it.
USA, that's right.
All right, Justin?
Because I love the Pork Chop Express.
Big Trouble in Little China.
Okay.
Big Trouble in the L. Okay. Big trouble in the LC.
All right, Allison.
We know we've taken up three good ones,
but I'm sure since this is your category,
you're going to have something ready to go.
Overboard.
Oh. That's the one I was ready to go. Overboard. Oh.
That's the one I was going to say.
So instead,
I'll go with...
I'll go with...
There's so fucking many.
Used cars.
I'll go used cars.
I always like to start with my favorite.
That's my favorite Kurt Russell movie.
Sean?
Vanilla Sky.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
That Vanilla Sky.
Yes, yes, yes.
All right.
Ken, people in the audience are muttering.
Everybody's got one.
I want to say...
Shh, shh, shh!
I want to say Captain Ron.
Captain Ron, that's a good one.
That's a super fun one.
I want to keep Allison from the rest of the Goldie Hawn oeuvre.
Yeah, just bat her away from that.
That's my favorite oeuvre.
Get away from that oeuvre.
Don't accidentally step on that oeuvre.
Somebody just pulled a pin out of a grenade, it sounded like.
I think so.
I heard that too.
That's crazy.
I think so.
I heard that too.
That's crazy.
See, my mom used to watch all of these Kurt Russell movies when I was growing up.
So I think Backdraft?
Yes.
Yes, good old Backdraft.
That's right. Backdraft, good old backdraft. That's right.
Backdraft.
Good job.
Allison.
Babes in Toyland.
Whoa.
You're going, that's a deep cut, right?
Yes.
Thank you.
Interesting.
Yeah.
He was in, like, was he a little kid in that?
I think he was a teen.
Teenager.
He might have been a little kid.
He might have been a teenager.
I can't remember.
Yeah.
Like, he was a little older when he played Dexter Riley in Now You See Him, Now You Don't.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
I'm all right at this.
Who the fuck knows?
Nobody knows.
I can't think of the right title for one of the other ones.
That's why I said that one.
Now you see him, now you don't.
Great fun.
Oh, I thought of the other one.
Putting the pressure on.
Death Proof.
Yeah.
And also, real quick,
this isn't a Kurt Russell movie,
but can I have a drink of vodka soda?
I stay away from that one
because I don't know whether to call it
under its bigger umbrella.
No, they're two movies.
Grindhouse.
Two separate movies.
Okay.
Grindhouse was the genre, right?
Isn't that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't make me flip the stool over. The whole thing was. Grindhouse was the genre, right? Isn't that? Yeah. Don't make me flip the stool over.
The whole thing was called Grindhouse.
All right, Ken.
Is anybody out yet?
I don't think so.
Oh, okay.
Nobody said Escape from New York, right?
No, they haven't.
Just.
Well, I guess you just do Escape from L.A. at that point.
I guess you have to.
Just get it out of the way.
Yeah, why kick that can down the road?
Escape from L.A.
Allison.
Well, this is embarrassing.
Considering the good game I talked earlier,
I don't have any more.
That's it, really?
Two felt like a lot for me.
Kurt Russell.
You've seen how I play this game.
I'm not good.
He's your favorite.
Well.
Think of one more.
What if Kurt's listening?
Not you guys.
Just her.
Just her.
The Thing?
All right, yes.
That was amazing.
All right, I'm going to go with Silkwood.
All right, Shawnee, Shawn.
You got it
You can do it
Oh he was in that one where
He was all like
Stop stop
He was all Kurt Russell-y
Stop it
Was he sweaty?
Was his hair about shoulder length
And he was sexy?
Some sort of smuggling grapes,
sort of tube steak situation going on?
I don't know, man. I'm out. Sorry.
That's it? Okay, you're out.
Ken, don't say anything yet, you guys.
I love this movie. Breakdown.
Breakdown, yes.
You guys remember Breakdown?
The trucker movie.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Justin, do you have another one?
An instant classic.
Universal Soldier.
Oh, yes.
Oh, goodness.
All right.
I'm going to go with
Tango and Cash.
What do you got, Ken?
The computer wore tennis shoes.
Yes, it did, you motherfucker.
I remember that name.
Who are you, Ken Jennings?
That's crazy.
You're a goddamn computer in tennis shoes. That's what you are, Ken Jennings? That's crazy. That is, you're a goddamn computer in tennis shoes.
That's what you are, Ken.
Wow.
KJ.
Oh, I got another one.
Okay, Justin.
There's so many of those buddy cop movies.
Was he in Tequila Sunrise? Yes. Thank you. Yes, he
fucking was. I told you my mom watched all of those movies. Tequila Sunrise. My favorite
cocktail based motion picture. Ken. Oh wait, is it my turn you're in
I'll do one
let's see how about
let's go with
oh I said I thought of it before
the barefoot executive
I've never heard of one
that was where
he had a pet monkey
who when you left him alone with TV show pilots,
picked the best ones.
It was way ahead of its time.
You know, Network gets a lot of credit
for seeing the future of television,
but Barefoot Executive did a pretty good job.
Back to you, Ken.
This is like a Disney movie we had on VHS when I was a kid
And Kurt Russell plays one of the brothers
I swear, there's this movie called
The One and Only Genuine Original Family Band
That is correct, yes
It's the best election ever made
About Grover Cleveland's loss
In the 1888 presidential election
So many to choose from Cleveland's loss in the 1888 presidential election.
So many to choose from.
Justin?
These are more questions than anything at this point, but was it Red Dawn?
No.
No?
He's not in Red fucking Dawn.
There's a lot of people in that book.
How dare you.
Probably somewhere in there.
I'll go with another one of his Disney classics The World's Strongest Man
That's what I was going to say
I think there's no more of those
at the old Medford campus or whatever
I think he might have been in another one
but I can't
Shush! Oh yeah, that's true or whatever, right? I think he might have been in another one, but I can't, you know...
Shush, yeah, shush!
Oh, yeah, that's true.
I feel like it would be cheating to say that.
We both heard Fox and the Hound, so it's off the table.
The rules couldn't be simpler.
As an audience member, just...
one of those, you know?
She just came from a Donald Trump rally,
so she's used to...
She has no idea what we're doing.
She just goes to shows and yells,
the fox and the hound!
Yes.
Like, at random points.
All these political people are like,
a fox and a hound!
Who was...
The hound was a girl or a boy?
They were both boys?
They were both boys.
One of them's...
They're supposed to be the same age,
but one of them's Kurt Russell
and one of them's Mickey Rooney.
It's Kurt Russell and Mickey Rooney?
One of them's not supposed to be old?
Yeah, they're supposed to be the same age.
They're like 50 years apart or something.
Jesus, that's creepy.
That's messed up.
Otherwise, it's totally realistic.
I'm sure I'm like
spacing on like Kurt Russell classics
oh yeah these people in the audience have some good ones
ready to yell at us
I might be out I think I got nothing
alright
I could finish you off with
Sky High
Sky High
and what was the one with Robin Williams The Best of Times Sky High.
And what was the one with Robin Williams?
The Best of Times?
Oh, yeah, The Best of Times.
No.
I love that movie.
Yeah, but you're still our winner, Ken.
You lasted the longest. So we got a few minutes left.
So to determine our winner tonight...
What happened?
She's just like, smell Schmellgurken.
Schmellgurken said Fox and the Hound.
We're going to play the first ever Fox and the Hound game.
How old was Mickey Rooney?
That's the whole question How old was Mickey Rooney?
If you can name any age that Mickey Rooney achieved
Without going over?
Yes
Now we're going to play the one round version of
Which I think is a lot of fun, a new thing
we've been doing called the Reverse Malton Game.
And how this is gonna work is since Ken won that last game, he gets to go first, and then
we're gonna go to Sean.
And Ken, basically what he wins by getting to go first is more control than anything
because I'm going to name a few movies, three movies,
and Ken gets to pick which one of those movies
he thinks he can name the most actors from
as listed by Leonard Maltin
in this app that I'm holding in my hand.
And then he's going to have to start us off
with the first name.
And then we go to Sean. He has to name
somebody else from the movie.
And then to Allison
and then to Justin.
You get the idea.
You got to take turns naming people from
that movie. The movie that the first person
picks. So he says the amount of names and then we all have to name
a person. I'll say how many Leonard lists.
Just to give you
an idea of what you're
shooting at. Because it has to be names
that he listed. Okay?
And Ken gets to pick.
What? I said it wrong?
I think so. I'm sure I did.
As soon as you
were like, what are you talking about?
I was like, yeah, I said it wrong.
So I'm going to repeat it again like you're the asshole.
I didn't mean to upset you.
I mixed up the rules of two games, but basically,
or two versions of this game.
But basically, Ken gets control by picking which one it is.
I'll tell you how many names, but you're right.
There's no bidding of names.
You just go into it
taking turns naming names. Whoever
names the last name,
even if it's all the names,
that person is our winner.
Ken.
You get to choose between
which one of these movies would you most
like to play with
tonight. Since we're in Seattle, last time I checked,
the options are Say Anything,
Singles, or
Sleepless in Seattle.
Which one of those films? The classic Say Anything,
another film called Singles,
and another thought of by some as a classic,
Sleepers in Seattle.
Which one of those?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm nervous,
because motherfucking,
I'll fuck you up if you don't fucking like them fucking sleepers.
I don't fuck you up if you don't fucking like them fucking sleepless. I don't know what.
She sounded really mad.
Felt like I was on an episode of Maury or something.
We conceived this child, the sleepless in Seattle.
Which one of those would you like, Ken?
I'm going to go
Singles.
Singles?
Seattle Classic.
Grunge Era Classic.
All right, well, some of those just got recalled today.
Craft Singles, but you still...
Letterless, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 names I think. Yeah looks like 12 names so let's just let's just get it over with now this is gonna be
interesting maybe. No it isn't. Which direction did I say we were going to go?
Sean's next?
Okay.
Go that way.
Go the other way.
No, go that way.
Why would going the other way help you?
Sounds like you're in trouble either way.
I am.
All right, Ken.
Do I also do the first name?
Yeah, you get to go first name.
I don't know anybody. No, I'm just kidding.
Name someone from Matt.
Campbell Scott.
He's going Campbell Scott, Sean.
We developed a mod backstage, and you wanted me to be in for the first round, and I understand that, so I'm going to say Matt Dillon.
Yeah, Matt Dillon, of course.
Then we go to Allison.
Kira Sedgwick.
Uh-huh.
Justin. Nothing. Nothing? Nothing. then we go to Allison Kira Sedgwick Justin nothing
nothing
I thought you were from here
I am from here and I hate that movie
you've got
I know
I know why you hate it because I've seen that movie
and nobody has that beard that you have
that is so popular here so beautiful yeah
we go it's awesome um but that's really interesting you know it didn't even through us most because
you've never seen the film i've watched parts of it like right well who was in that one part that
you saw matt dylan oh okay it was hit did you watch the cover of the movie?
I saw parts of the cover of the movie.
I saw the Matt Dillon part.
Skimmed over it on IMDb. Excused myself and went to my room.
Where he's laying there with hair that's a little bit too long for Matt Dillon to be having.
Yeah, I watched the cover.
It was good.
All right.
Well, Justin's out then.
So we go to Ken.
I don't know what happened to her, but Bridget Fonda.
Fuck, man.
Yeah.
Where's Bridget Fonda?
What happened?
She sort of dropped off to raise a family or whatever.
Weirdo.
Charlie Burns.
Yeah, weirdo.
Is there a guy named Charlie Burns in the movie?
What?
I swear I heard somebody just say...
Are you really guessing Charlie Burns?
I swear I just heard somebody say Charlie Burns, so I was going to act like I Burns. Okay, well, don't listen to what they're saying.
And come up with your own if you can.
No, he's going to be like somebody who's running for president
and everybody knows how stupid I am now.
I don't know.
Bridget Fonda was my other one.
I only know two people in that movie, so I'm out.
That's it?
That's it.
Okay.
Allison?
I don't know if he's guessed Leonard Maltin Billing,
but Chris Cornell.
It was a smart guess, but a wrong guess.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, he didn't make Billing.
Shit.
I just...
Ken?
Bill Pullman.
Sleepless in Seattle, Bill Pullman.
Wait, what?
Wrong movie.
Bill Pullman's also in Singles, right?
Bill Pullman is in both Sleepless in Seattle
and Singles.
You show off.
Ken Jennings is our winner
tonight.
Sheila Kelly, Jim True,
James LeGrow,
Devin Raymond.
They don't list any of the musicians though
because the guy that yelled Pearl Jam,
he was right. Eddie Vedder was in it
and probably what, Stone
Gossard was probably there too.
Allie Walker,
Camille Garrado
and weirdly Tim Burton.
I don't even remember him being in there.
Is he just like wandering into a coffee shop
and they're like, Wonderland's that way?
He's the director, I don't know if you're actually asking he's the director of the dating video that Sheila Kelly makes
There you go. I was actually asking
Does anybody want to shoot one more donut before we go?
That was a good one.
I'm getting good at this now.
It's too bad we have to go.
Who was Ken playing for tonight?
Where's your person you were playing for?
They get all the prizes.
Emily, on Ways to Die in the West.
Wait, can I take...
Wait.
Which...
Sorry, Doug. I know you hate this. Which t-shirt
do you want?
Okay.
A bit of a lull in the podcast. Okay. Thank you. Oh. Mm-hmm.
Bit of a lull in the podcast.
Yeah, it's an interesting time to be alive.
Just setting all the shit.
Who said Sioux Falls?
Allison had to sift through it, make sure she got the right shirt.
Yes, I did.
She did.
Very clever.
Do you want those donuts?
What if she got to shoot one into the crowd?
Sounded like you just said lunch them.
Lunch them?
Have them for lunch, Doug.
Like a lunch-em bowl.
Oh, those are pretty glorious looking. Those are pretty nice.
I tell you what, during the end title music,
I'll throw these at people.
Because we've got to wrap this up.
Do you have any plugs there, Sean?
I do.
I'm Sean S. Jordan on Twitter.
And if you're going to Bumbershoot Sunday night, I'll be
at the Charlotte Martin Theater doing my show
Funny Over Everything at 10 p.m.,
and I'll be headlining Boise Liquid Laughs
the first weekend in October, so if you guys
feel like driving to Boise, or if you know someone in Boise,
or if you live in Boise and you're listening, I'll be there.
That's it.
Alright, thank you very much for being
here, Sean.
Have fun at Bumbershoot.
And what about you, Ken? What do you got going on?
You got a book people should buy?
Ken Jennings on Twitter. Yeah, I write the Junior Genius Books.
I just gave a couple to Emily.
The new one about ancient Egypt comes out in a couple weeks.
So if you're into ancient Egypt, and I know everyone listening to this podcast is,
check it out.
Scattered
applause for the pharaohs.
Does that make sense?
Okay, I'll just say the words
and it'll make sense to people.
Tunnel?
Okay. Okay.
I think I understand the other two.
What about you, Justin?
We can hear you weekday mornings
on 99.9 KISW.
BJ and Megs, yep.
And what's the internet address
for people listening in other parts of the country
and the world?
Just KISW.com, you can find all that stuff.
My Twitter is
at Rev and Fuego. And we also
do a geeky podcast called BJ Shay's
Geek Nation, which you can find on
BJGeekNation.com.
Alright. Thanks for being here, dude.
Woo!
Woo!
I'll say one
more time. Tomorrow night I'm going to be
one of Allison's new best friends
in the Allison Rosen is your new
best friend podcast
live from, or happening at
I mean it's live but it won't be
you know what I mean
the Cornish Playhouse
which sounds so classy
it really does, at 7
tomorrow at 7 and what else do you want people to know about
just check out my podcast
Allison Rosen is your new best friend check me out at Bumbershoot all three days and follow me on Twitter at Allison Rosen and what else do you want people to know about? Just check out my podcast, Alison Rosen's New Best Friend.
Check me out at Bumbershoot all three days
and follow me on Twitter at Alison Rosen.
Alison Rosen, everybody.
I just want to add that Doug Lowe's movies
is coming to New Orleans
as part of the Hell Yes Best.
That'll be on October 8th.
And thanks again to the Neptune Theater
and all you guys for showing up
one more time
for Sean Jordan
Ken Jennings
Justin Robinson
and Allison Rosen
and as always,
Seahawks game day traffic
is a shithead.
Dan Didio is a shithead.
Okay, that was personal.
Sometimes I don't know.
Sometimes I think, oh, it's going to be a local politician
that everybody goes crazy over.
Then other times it's just Dan Didio.
And this lady right here, this is yours, right?
She wants everybody to know that
Big Bertha the Tunnel Boring Machine is a shithead.
Once again, today's episode of
Douglas Movies was brought to you in part
by DraftKings.com.
A few preseason games to go before the
regular football season kicks off,
so hurry down to DraftKings.com now
and use the promo code MOVIE to play
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That's DraftKings.com.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies!