Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Arden Myrin and Chad Opitz guest
Episode Date: January 24, 2022Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Arden Myrin and Chad Opitz to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to sti...tcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love the motion pictures.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
It's Sunday, January 23rd,
2022, and
my guests today are
once again
peeps who were supposed to
be on my shows in the
postponed to
2023 SF
Sketch Fest. They are
Amy Miller, Arden Marine,
and Chad Opitz.
Yay!
Yay!
Future fun!
Let's meet
individually and
alphabetically.
By last name,
our winner from last
week is back. Winner, winner, amy miller oh it's still me i'm so
bad at alphabetization right well it's tricky one when you have the art of marine around because
that y is sneaky in there very sneaky yeah and it comes after i of of course. So, Amy Miller. Yes, Doug. How's it going, champ?
The champ's here.
Yeah.
Did it feel good defeating a wine-drunk Padgett Brewster?
I didn't know that she was wine-drunk, but that makes more sense now that she couldn't make a full hour without peeing.
Can I place a guess about what time you recorded?
Don't tell me because I know I received
text. I get texts from her at various points
in the day. At wine o'clock, Arden.
I'm going to guess. It was on a Sunday
so it was probably... I'm going to move
my mid-week
day earlier.
Normally, it would be in the
four o'clock hour.
I don't know.
I feel like she's like clockwork.
I'm going to say you recorded.
I'm going to say you were recorded at four and she was like deep in.
I think we didn't start until six.
Wow.
Oh, she was hammered.
She must have started at four.
She started at four.
She started at four.
I also defeated Johnny, who was not drunk at four. She started at four. I also defeated Johnny, who was
not drunk at all.
I can still be the champ.
Yeah.
It's a legitimate victory.
He must have been on something.
It's high on life.
Yeah.
He was on some sort of performance
enhancing drug.
Yeah, he'm getting ripped.
I decided to take that for two.
I've never done it before, but just to win this podcast,
I started doing some performance enhancement drugs.
I'm really jacked up.
Oh, OK.
I roof myself.
Also joining us today, she was going to be on Douglas Movies,
and I was going to be on her podcast at Sketchfest.
Will you accept this rose?
It's Arden Meiread.
Hi, Doug.
How are you?
Oh, my gosh.
I can't.
You know what?
The postponement, though, it feels good to have something on the calendar
a year out that's fun to look forward
to like yeah we have to like make it through the year because there's gonna be something really fun
and like 12 months time yeah if you're in the bay area january 27 28 29 2023 yeah yeah yeah i mean look i mean that's the only is that the do you have other things on
your calendar for 2023 yet not yet no i barely you know i don't even have any things for a third
quarter of this year i don't have anything for second quarter of this year i got a fourth quarter
thing but that's just an annual thing so i don't even
know if that counts if you do it every year is that what makes you not able to come to my birthday
slash holiday party uh well generally work because you usually do that on a saturday in december and
you know yeah i know that's my birthday how am i gonna how am i gonna celebrate christmas properly
without doing some shitty gigs right before it?
Exactly.
Exactly.
I blame my parents for birthing me.
They should have waited.
They should have waited till January to have me.
Yeah.
January babies are the best because everybody goes to their parties.
Are you New Year's Eve, Arden?
I'm New Year's Eve.
Are you?
How is that for you?
It's some.
It depends. I'm December 10th.th last year i had it on zoom not that cool um yeah this year i got covet on my birthday but we had a nice time
didn't we i mean i wasn't there but yeah dad was there i't there. Was no because you were like maybe just getting over it or something.
I didn't see you on New Year's Eve.
No, I got I got I actually got COVID like a week before.
You gave it to me, I think.
What was your COVID experience like?
How was it?
What was the worst part physically?
We don't want to hear about this.
Yeah.
Are we doing an episode of doug loves covid
i would listen to that is this an episode of doug interviews arden about yeah other guests
you know what yeah they're like what variant would you recommend you're absolutely right
doug i'm sorry i this is your podcast i'm sorry to hijack it to make it be doug
i haven't even introduced all three guests yet.
I know I was going to answer. All right. No, I'm so sorry.
I'm going to tell her later. You know, I love.
Yeah. Right. I do. But also just who's not sick of COVID talk.
OK, so coming to the the stage our next performer
he was going to interrupt a movie with us arden and chad and i were all going to uh interrupt uh
the goonies or lost boys and forget which one me i was gonna do so well amy you were like on the
fence about that because you had to go do some other gig or something amy i was still gonna do it oh i thought you were definitely gonna do douglas movies but that you
couldn't do the other thing miscommunication yeah well and also we got we got a whole year to work
this out yeah uh talk about it off air yeah but let's talk to uh san franc Francisco comedy phenom and another dangling champ.
He won on the show a couple of weeks ago.
It's Chad Opitz.
Yay.
Dangling champ.
Hello, dangling Chad.
Yeah, I thought it was hilarious that they messaged us and were like,
hey, are you guys available in January 2023?
I was like, I'm pretty sure yeah who said no you know somebody
said no i know there's got to be somebody i said i got a thing i'll get back to you i'll try to
move some stuff around there might have been some maybes from you know because they get some big
names in that festival so how can you be sure that you're going to be available you know because
i mean they gotta ask you get hired to do a movie or something you're not necessarily going to be uh available yeah um
it's just the roll of the dice at this point in fact i hope that i get a movie role instead of
going me too as you said that i was like please let that be me dear god please let that be
god i hope i don't see any of you because I'm on a movie set.
I'll probably still be able to make it.
Oh, Amy.
Oh, Amy.
Oh, our Amy.
Oh, Amy.
I'm so glad to be on the show with Amy and I.
And I've done work with them both in the past.
What a delightful duo.
Yay.
Dad and I are real life friends.
If you can believe it. we were trying to do this
you know in person but this is what we're uh this is what we're settling for for now and before we
get to the games portion of the show i just want to have a little chat with uh the three of you
about movies that you'd recommend i'd like each one of you in whatever order you'd like to recommend one
movie.
Um,
I'll go,
I guess I'll go first.
Okay.
Just like a man.
I'm sorry.
I saw red rocket. It's, you know, speaking of dangling, I got roped into that one. Sorry. Sorry.
I saw Red Rocket.
Speaking of dangling champs,
there's one in there. Good lord.
I want to see that. Is it good?
I thought it was really good.
Happy for Simon Rex.
Yeah, he's great in it. He's perfect.
The whole movie's very well cast.
I thought it was very
entertaining.
I'd say um
i'd say you know he'd have a better shot at um an oscar if they pulled some punches and made it
made him a little bit more uh likable or made the story a little sadder or something but it's just
really it's just very straightforward look at this guy and he does a great job.
So he's getting, you know, lots of
nominations and stuff.
But I, you know, we'll see
about good old Oscar. But, you know,
generally the Oscars don't
nominate somebody who spend a good three
or four minutes of the movie just running naked
with their dong flapping around.
Yeah, yeah.
That's that dangling chip I was talking about.
I was in charge of the Oscars.
They were, oh, yeah, for sure.
Magic Mike would get nominated for everything.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Thank you.
But anyway, terrific Simon Baker suggestion.
I add that my favorite movie of his is The Florida Project.
I loved that movie.
That made me sob at the end.
That was heartbreaking.
The ending is just so brilliant
and sad.
Amy, do you have one movie
you could recommend?
A few times in the last year, I've just
re-watched Night Shift.
I just would like to tell people to watch Night Shift.
If you haven't or if you have, watch it again.
It's so good.
I love Henry Winkler.
That Barney Rubble is a good actor.
That's a classic line from that motion picture.
It's so funny.
And it's like a feminist movie.
It's like pro unionizing prostitutes.
Right.
Right.
Beautiful.
Shelley Long is being amazing in it,
as always.
Shelley Long.
God,
it's just so good.
So funny.
Michael Keaton's just like,
oh,
yeah,
hilarious maniac in it. And we're living
in a Keaton renaissance.
A Keaton-a-sance.
What's he doing?
Well, he just does
one
whatever, the Golden Globe
that was not televised.
He won that for the TV
Hulu
miniseries. His pill show.
Dopes Sick.
Huh. Which is a great show.
Yeah, anyway.
But this isn't about television right now. Or COVID.
No!
Yeah, let's make a list of everything this isn't
about. He's had a movie renaissance
too, though, right? Yeah.
He was in that one, the acting one
that was so good what
was it birdman birdman 10 years ago yeah but he was so what about 10 years ago i don't think so
but but um but yeah he's uh he's doing he's doing all right he's uh he's he's popular he he he you
know agreed to do a tv thing because he doesn't do tv much
and uh and it's paying off because now he's you know uh getting awards for it uh but amy's
suggestion night shift we should just be clear because we were off and running talking about it
without ever saying that it's a comedy that was i believe michael keaton's first you know if not
it's definitely his first major role if not
overall and it's directed by ron howard also uh very early on in his uh in his career
yeah i gotta see it again it's been it's been a long time you know but i remember uh
you know of course enjoying it very much arden okay i just rewatched, and I'm sure this is a pretty obvious one,
but I forgot how funny young Chevy Chase is.
I rewatched Fletch, and oh, my God, like, his quickest sides,
how subtle it is.
I mean, he's so funny, and it's like,
just to even see his undercover outfits, or it's just like him holding a mug,
or like, it's just like a hat, or the teeth were the biggest thing.
But like, that it was just, like him and his prime.
He was so funny and so fast on his feet.
I just laughed the whole way through.
so funny and so fast on his feet i i just laughed the whole way through well that's why i you know excited for because you know there's a ton of fletch books and the fletch sequel with chevy
chase was you know turned out to be not that great but um you know there's plenty more fletch stories
and uh so now uh john ham's taking over the part and And I think he's an excellent choice.
I got pinned for that.
I went out for a part for that.
Oh.
I didn't get it.
You watched it again?
No, no.
You watched the research?
No, I actually watched it.
I'd actually already watched it before that for something else.
But the script, I didn't get the full script.
I just got the sides for the character and it was funny.
It was really funny.
So I don't know how the whole script is,
but the part that I wanted was very,
very funny.
I really,
I'm excited for it,
but you're right.
The original,
there was nobody funnier than Chevy Chasey.
Like was an instant movie star after just one year on SNL.
Yeah.
And it's,
you know,
it's a shame that he's,
you know, doesn't get along with people now. But
boy, he was so good back then.
I even did then. He was so good, I even
went and watched Foul Play, which is not a great
movie. But he and Goldie Hawn,
he's still so good in that.
He was so funny.
Absolutely. Alright, so
we got Night Shift, Fletch, and Red Rocket.
They're all kind of tonally not too far off from each other.
They're all salacious. Salacious. Yeah.
They're all about, you know, men just trying to do their thing.
So, yeah. Thank you for much.
Thank you to everybody for visiting Recommendation Nation.
And we're going to go to our first break before we start these games. Thank you to everybody for visiting Recommendation Nation.
And we're going to go to our first break before we start these games.
We'll be right back.
We are back. And as you know, we're here with three of the greatest guests that this show has ever had.
Oh, my goodness.
Please, Doug.
Thanks, Doug.
And our first game today. Are you ready for the first game? Yes. Oh, Doug. Thanks, Doug. And our first game
today, are you ready for the first game? Yes.
Oh, yeah.
This game is called
Power Dog. Whoa.
That sounds awesome. Yeah. Right?
Great title. Right?
I'm seeing that movie. I think it's a great
title for a game I'll probably
only play once because it's a great title for a game I'll probably only play once
because it's very specific.
I'm going to lose.
I'm going to lose.
You know how this Netflix movie,
I sat through this Netflix movie,
Power of the Dog.
Okay.
And it's good.
You know, I recommend it.
If you like a slow movie
that gives you mysteries,
it's not necessarily going to solve.
It qualifies for one of my oscars too because benedict cumberbatch is running around with his dong out whoa the power of the dong the power of the dong i love the power of the dong
but he is it's you know it's movie star brief. Let's be honest. The Simon, I mean.
Not if you pause.
The Simon is a former porn star.
Simon Rex really spends a lot more time being naked than Cumberbatch.
But that being said, this game doesn't really have anything to do with Power of the Dog.
It was just inspired by Power of the dog okay because this movie this game you need to know about the motion picture
power rangers from 2017 oh no yeah okay it's been nice chatting with you guys or or hotel for dogs great okay great so i'm gonna know that's how power dog
okay great so we'll go to amy first i'll tell you a fun fact amy you'll tell me if it applies
to the power rangers or if it applies to hotel for dogs or both those are your three choices. If you miss, Chad gets a chance
of the two remaining choices. If he
misses, Arden's in the catbird
seat. She gets the
gimme point. All she has to do is have
a decent memory. Okay, great.
Yeah. Don't film me now, memory.
But whenever somebody gets a
question right, it moves on to the next person,
rotates from there. So you'll see.
It could just, anything could happen.
This is exciting. Anyone can
win. Okay.
Amy.
Power Rangers, Hotel for Dogs,
or both,
is under two hours
long.
I'm gonna say
both, Doug. Amy's going to say both,
Doug.
Amy's going with both.
That Hotel for Dogs
and Power Rangers
are under
two hours long.
That is incorrect.
What?
What was that noise?
Was that Simon Rex?
That was incorrect. That was a What was that noise? Was that Simon Rex?
That was a dong flapping.
Yeah.
The bell goes dong.
It's a sound cameo appearance from Simon Rex.
Yes.
All right, Chad, you got two options.
Is Under Two Hours Long is the answer Power Rangers or Hotel for Dogs?
God, I hope it's Hotel for Dogs.
That is correct.
Good guess.
Was that Benedict Cumberbatch?
Hotel for Dogs. There we go.
Yeah.
Hotel for Dogs. The rec stars? Hotel for Dogs. There we go. Yeah. Hotel for Dogs.
The rec stars in Hotel for Dogs.
Hotel for Dogs comes in at
an hour and 40 minutes.
It's not as girthy
and lengthy as
Power Rangers at
over two hours. Can you believe
Power Rangers is two hours and four
minutes? So you would say the Hotel for
Dogs is more of a chode.
Oh my lord.
Come on.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry about this.
I'm sorry about this to Doug Super Soul Sunday.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
You know, I was confused about Red Rocket
at first because I thought it was the sequel
to Clifford the Big Red Dog.
Oh no.
Disgusting.
Can you imagine Clifford the Big Red Dog
wanted to fuck something? How horrible that would be?
What a nightmare. An absolute
nightmare. I feel like that doesn't come up in that
movie. It should.
He's a puppy.
Oh, okay. That would be sick bastard. He's just a puppy. Oh, OK.
You sick bastard.
He's just a kid.
Just a child.
Just a child.
So why are you saying that he's dead by the end of the movie?
He doesn't age.
I bet you there is a Clifford.
Is it like old yellow?
Do they have?
Oh, for sure.
There's definitely a Clifford, the big red dog.
He does. He he ages in theory, but not in this first film that just came out, if that's what you mean.
Okay. All right. Well, I'm just saying when he starts to get sexual, it's going to be a problem.
Yeah. When things get humpy.
Yeah. Hopefully it was a financial failure so there's no sequel.
What's that dog doing to that manhole over there?
Cause he's got a manhole cover in his mouth in the poster.
So we had to pull it off of there so he could have sex with it.
All right.
That's why he pulled it off.
That's why he had it in his mouth.
Yeah.
That's why he pulled it off.
That's why he had it in his mouth.
Yeah.
What the hell?
Okay.
So congratulations, Chad.
You're on the board.
You've got one point.
Only takes two points to win this game,
but Arden, you get to go first on this next one.
Great.
All right.
You should know this.
I mean, you've seen both films probably multiple times. So many times.
I just watched them so many times.
Power Rangers, Hotel for Dogs, or both, has Kevin Dillon in it.
Hot.
Oh, my God.
God, I'm a casting director.
I'm a casting director.
I'm going to say Hotel for Dogs.
You think Kevin Dillon is in Hotel for Dogs and Hotel for Dogs Alone?
Yes.
Yes.
Yay!
That's a quiet one.
Art and Marine is on the board.
Thank you.
I just thought all those guys on Entourage, they seemed like dogs.
You know what I'm saying?
They were like dirty dogs.
If I was going to cast kind of a dirty dog, I would cast Kevin Dillon.
Yeah, I bet you he plays a bad guy in it now that I think about it.
He's like one of the wet bandits and the dogs have to bite his dick.
Yeah.
He's the one in the manhole cover.
It all goes back to the dirty dog.
If you're a bad guy in a dog movie,
your dick's getting bit.
By the way,
how fun was Matt Dillon as a bad guy
in Something About Mary?
We watched that too this year.
He was so funny as that bad guy.
I mean,
because he had such,
that mustache and that smile were so weird.
His teeth and that mustache were so weird. And we'd never mustache and he doesn't seem like that silly of a guy so to see him like be like a good sport about it and
just go for it was fun yeah well i think those guys enjoy those kind of things when they don't
get to ever play that sort of part they uh they really embrace it when they do sometimes in a bad way yeah for sure
bob dylan i've heard not very friendly in person
oh that's yeah he doesn't even spell it the same way but yeah
he spells it b-b-o-b he's ashamed of his brothers.
What if Kevin Dylan has brothers? What if Kevin Dylan and Bob Dylan were brothers?
Wait, so Kevin Dylan's real last name is Zimmerman?
Maybe.
Yes, it's Kevin Zimmerman.
Yeah.
Is that why he didn't, did Bobylan name himself after kevin dylan yes how crazy how crazy
is the matt dylan kevin dylan thing in the first place because matt dylan didn't when he was a
teenager a casting director saw him at his school and put him in that movie uh about the kids that
riot called over the top or
something. And, you know,
and then eventually he did other movies and became like a real movie actor.
And then his brother, Kevin got into movies and TV.
There's no way if his brother hadn't been discovered that he would have ever
gotten a foot in that door. Don't you think?
Yeah.
Wait, Kevin Dillon.
Yeah. Kevin Dillon was younger than Matt, but Matt got discovered as a non-actor just by a casting director who's looking for non-actors for this one.
Oh, yeah.
So it's just crazy, like such a such a lottery for the whole family.
Yeah, they're both good actors, but I'm just saying.
All right. Arden has a point. Chad has a point. Amy gets to go first.
You can get on the board with this one, Amy.
That's where I want to be, Doug.
Don't make me bring out that dong sound again.
No.
No.
Don't make him bring out his dong sound.
Uh-uh.
Power Rangers, Hotel for Dogs or both, available to rent on Prime for $3.99.
Whoa.
Wow. Yeah. Whoa. Wow.
Yeah.
Oh.
Wow.
I'm going to say both.
You're going with both?
Yeah.
I don't know why it's so funny to me.
It's so dumb.
It's funny to me, too.
Oh.
Yeah, you got a double dong on that one dong so rude it was cumberbatch and and
diamond racks all right chad for the win is it she said both so is it uh hotel for dogs or power
rangers it's available for on prime right now for four bucks i I'm going to go I'm going to say
Power Rangers because
Hotel for Dogs is for $2.99.
Wow.
Are you
looking it up or something? No.
Okay. I would just assume that
someone's going to splurge an extra dollar
for the Power Rangers film. It's two hours and four minutes.
What was that? That means you won the whole game. for the Power Rangers film. It's two hours and four minutes.
What was that?
That means you won the whole game. Oh, my God.
Sounded like you killed one of the dogs
in Hotel for Dogs.
Wow.
No, you took down the whole thing.
Power Rangers is currently available
for $3.99 on Prime.
And Hotel for Dogs is also available
on some other service.
I forget what price.
So, great job.
Great job.
Thank you.
Chad Opitz.
And that means that you get to go first, which isn't even necessarily an advantage, in our final game today, which we will play after this break.
We'll be right back.
today, which we will play after this break. We'll be right back.
We are back with three of the people that I reached out to,
to be on the show today. And thank you.
Thank you for being here, everybody.
We're happy to be here. Amy, how are you holding up? You feel, I feel like you're,
it felt like that first game went poorly or something.
I know, and I felt really strong going into it.
So I feel pretty good still.
I'm staying positive.
That's the important thing, because that first game really doesn't matter.
It's really just everybody get warmed up, get your trivia brain going,
and lead us into what has become one of my favorite games to play on the
show it's little something that i call filmily feud no hot it's like family feud but the questions
are about movies yeah so i use the twitter sphere and the Twitter verse to my advantage with this
particular game,
because I can easily pull 100 people and ask them a question and then write
down the results.
So Chad is going to get to go first,
but everybody gets a chance to go first in this game.
But just on the first round, Chad goes first. I'm going to
give you the question that I asked
on Twitter plus the four
answers that I provided as
options for the person's
people to choose from.
You'll guess which one you think
got the most
votes. Then I'll
tell you at the end after everybody's
picked one. You can't pick the same one. You got to pick a different one then I'll tell you at the end, after everybody's picked one, you can't pick the same one. You got to
pick a different one. All right. I'll tell you
how the points shake out because you get one point
for every percentage point
of your answer.
Can I pretend that you're Steve Harvey
during all this?
If you'd like.
If you want me to never stop laughing.
I would love to see Doug
in an oversized suit.
Yes!
But nobody here is going to win a brand new car.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah.
Chad?
Yes.
Which role do you think, wow, this is a terrific coincidence that this came up. Uh,
which role do you think John Hamm would be best at?
He's got a commercial out right now for Apple TV where he is basically
complaining about how all these people are on Apple TV and he isn't.
So which one of these do you think he'd be the best well i
shouldn't make the question different than what i put on twitter because i didn't give him the
whole backstory like that so the question just is this which role do you think john ham would be
best at and the options are ted lasso finch mcbeth or Snoopy?
If you replaced any of those with Jon Hamm,
which one would Jon Hamm be the best at playing?
According to people who responded to my poll on Twitter.
Who is Finch?
Who is Finch? Finch is Tom Hanks stars as Finch.
It's a movie on Apple TV right now where
it's him, a dog, and a robot
in some sort of post-apocalyptic
situation.
What was the third one, Steve?
The third
one, the third
answer was
Macbeth.
Because they got Denzel
playing Macbeth. I mean, anyone that thinks they can play Macbeth. Because they got Denzel playing Macbeth. I mean, anyone
that thinks they can play Macbeth
better than Denzel needs to check themselves.
Who do they have as Snoopy right now?
Snoopy is being played by
the original Snoopy still.
Whoa. God, this is a...
Because he's just a drawing.
Okay. I'm going to go...
I'll go with the...
I'll say Snoopy. All right. Chad's going to go. I'll go with the, the, the, I'll say Snoopy.
All right.
Chad's going Snoopy.
Thanks.
John Hamm would make a great Snoopy.
Arden,
what do you think?
That's a hot dog.
That's a really hot dog.
Steve,
I'm going to have to go with John Hamm.
What?
I'm actually totally sober.'m just uh okay i'm gonna have to go with john ham playing ted lasso because i feel like people want to see him like oh he's
funny on snl like i feel like they want him just to do they like him as like in bridesmaids and
i think i feel like they're like we want more funny funny Jon Hamm. That's why I'm going with Ted Locke. Yeah, and that's why he did Fletch, I think.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Amy?
I'm going to say Macbeth.
Okay.
Actually, the Scottish play.
I think that, well, you know, here's the thing.
You know, Macbeth was the answer on Jeopardy the other night or something.
And I saw people on Twitter just going crazy with the, you know, how you can't say Macbeth.
And it's like, you can't say Macbeth like backstage in a theater.
Yeah, it's in a theater.
It's a location specific thing.
You could say it all day and night everywhere else.
I am backstage in a theater right now.
Oh, OK.
Well, then I'm glad you protected yourself.
But you did say it once.
But it's
so it's been nice knowing you.
Yeah. Oh, God.
Break a leg.
All right. Here's how it breaks down.
Everybody smelled a rat with this
Finch situation because nobody
only eight percent of the poll answered Finch situation because nobody, only 8% of the poll
answered Finch.
I would think that'd be the
one to be easiest for him to play because
I don't think Tom Hanks does
a crazy accent or anything as Finch.
I just think if it's
already Hanks, then people can't
picture it as anything else.
Okay, that's fair.
I feel that's true of
all four of these but okay um the uh second place answer or i should say working our way up to number
one is uh ted lasso got what i was so confident i was so confident i heard it in your voice
i really thought that that was gonna be it
i did i thought they were gonna be like give me more of that funny ham yeah whereas amy got the
second best answer with only just having to just you know choose from slim pickens since she went
with macbeth that was worth 17 that's shocking well what's even more shocking is that these idiots no no offense if
you're listening idiots uh that the best the best role for john ham would be snoopy at 60 percent
but then you don't even get to look at john ham like that's half of the fun of john ham is like
the visual of john ham oh I was picturing more like,
you know,
like when you go see Lion King or something on Broadway,
we're like costume with a John Hamm hole in its face.
Cause nobody doesn't like a good ham hole.
a ham hole let's not go down this road
a ham hole
can you say
ham hole in a theater?
oh my god, oh my goodness
you get a lifetime supply of it
if you say in a theater
okay, here we go
Chad seems to be out
to a whopping lead but he does
not, he has to pick third in this next round. So ladies,
this is the time.
The question that I put to our time,
this is the question I put to Twitter. It was yesterday.
It was the anniversary of a great Heath Ledger's passing.
So the thing I said was if Heath Ledger returned from the dead,
you'd be dot, dot, dot.
And these are the options.
Surprised.
Delighted.
Concerned.
Or wet.
Wow.
That's a real
ham hole. Wow, that's such a ham hole.
I just got ham holed over here.
Damn. Surprised,
delighted, concerned.
I mean, okay.
I'm just reading it out.
He was super hot.
I don't know how
rascally... Whose turn is it? Is I don't know how rascally,
I don't know how rascally. Whose turn is it?
Is it me?
It starts with Arden,
yes.
Yeah,
I don't know.
I don't know how many female listeners you have
or like,
or Twitter followers.
And I don't know,
like he was super handsome,
but I don't think that's who's,
I do think people are funny and rascals.
So they might find it so funny to say wet that they might say wet.
Surprise, concern.
I'm torn between surprised and wet.
Not delighted?
I mean, to me, wet is just like a, you know, second stage of delight, or maybe even deeper, further
stages than that. Okay.
All right. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Or it's raining out.
I'm going to go with, I'm going to just say
wet.
I'm going to go with wet.
Okay.
Amy?
I'm 100% going to go concerned.
Wow.
I think it should be.
I hope everyone said concerned.
I do too.
That's very scary.
Would you be excited?
I'd be excited.
No, I'd be terrified.
That's not an option.
Wet and delighted are both kind be excited. No, I'd be terrified. That's not an option. Wet and Delighted are both kind of excited.
I'd be like, why do we have this technology now?
And they used it first on Heath Ledger of all people.
Like are more dead people going to like, I don't know. There's a few.
I want to stay dead.
It's just all concerning.
There's a lot. There's a lot going on there that you have to think dead. It's just all concerning. There's a lot
going on there that you have to
think about.
But that leaves you, Chad,
with merely surprised or
delighted.
I guess because I would definitely have picked
one of the other ones, but I'll go
surprised.
Okay.
Because delighted does not seem like a good
idea.
I'm full on
with Amy about the concern thing.
Never seen anyone in a zombie movie.
Concern is my last one. I'm not concerned at all.
I'm psyched.
He's back. That's awesome.
That's so fun. I think it's so cool.
Look at that. We got back Heath Ledger.
That's awesome. Arden, you are first to die in a zombie movie
easily. Oh, obviously. I said that
two days ago. Obviously, I'm
the first to die. I'm just going to
run. I'm going to find the zombie
because I hate getting chased.
I'm going to get it over with. I have a terrible pick
to hang out with in a zombie apocalypse.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I don't think anyone will be delighted to know that Delighted got 15% of the vote.
Is that the highest or the lowest?
That's in the middle.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just thought I'd pick that one off first since nobody chose it great uh so then we
go to surprised which was the least thank you okay of all of the options with uh a mere nine percent
right but chad you're still in pretty good shape so i got 69 points because the first round nice
yeah you did yeah you did yeah you did that's a real ham hole that is an animal
i'm sorry but uh nobody likes a wet ham hole apparently because uh wet came in at a mere 15%. God damn it. Wow.
You guys are way off base.
You guys are way off base.
Well, you know, I really liked Amy's argument for being concerned.
And that feels like what a lot of people felt because concerned got 60% of the vote.
I am really wired.
I mean, I'm not saying I would be wet.
I think I would just be delighted.
Let me do some quick math and see.
Okay, so you're still in this, Arden.
Thank you.
So don't panic just yet.
Okay, great.
But you do also get to pick third this time.
So you're just going to be at the mercy of everyone else's choices.
I respect that.
So we'll start with Amy.
And here's the. I respect that. We'll start with Amy. Here's the third
and final round, unless
of course we need a tiebreaker, which seems
unlikely.
Just because these numbers
are so weird.
So what?
Weird.
Weird.
Amy?
What? What do you think is a better last name for benedict cumberbatch here are the four choices i gave people should he be called bender benedict bindle snatch Benedict Bindlesnatch. Yes. Yes. Benedict Fumblecatch.
Benedict Dingleflash.
Well, great.
Great name.
Or Benedict Hideousrash.
Oh, nice.
So we got Bindlesnatch, Fumblecatch, Dingleflash, or Hideousrash.
I'm going to say Benedict Dingleflash.
I was going to take that. I was going to take that.
I was going to take that. That's clearly the winner.
That's clearly the winner. Agreed.
It's so obviously the top pick.
Alright, Chad. Of the
remainders, Bindlesnatch,
Fumblecatch, or Hidius Rash?
Oof.
Oh, god damn. I'll go
Fumblecatch.
Okay.
I love movie trivia.
I love movie trivia.
I'm using my knowledge right here.
I'm a real film buff.
I tell you, it's anybody can win kind of trivia.
I certainly don't think I would have gotten this one right.
Arden, your options are Bindlesnatch or Hideous
Rash. I gotta go Bindlesnatch.
You got it, right?
I have to, obviously. It's a great name.
I mean, it's
no Dinglecatch,
but it's a Dingleflash,
but it is a really fun
It's great.
I can't remember what it is, but it's great.
He did a Dinglefl flash in Power of the Dog
yeah he did a dingle flash
that's why he's nominated
this is all so prophetic
and meant to be
alright
so I'm adding up the scores
and this is all terribly exciting
so everybody
sniffed out the worst one here because nobody went with hideous rash.
That only got that only got eight percent.
That's not the winner.
That's not the winner of the vote.
But then coming in next with 16 percent is fumble catch.
I thought the same thing.
I was surprised he didn't take the one that I took
because I know Amy's is the winner.
Oh, yeah.
With Dingo Flash?
Yeah.
You think is the winner?
I do.
How much money would you put on that?
I don't have enough money.
No money.
Maybe mine.
Mine.
No, no money.
No money.
I'm misdirecting.
I think mine won.
I think mine won. I think mine won.
Well, I'll tell you this.
Dingle Flash got
35%
of the vote.
And Bindlesnatch.
Wow. I'll tell
you after the break. No, Bindlesnatch
41%.
Yay!
Oh my God, I needed that.
I needed that. Good thing I didn't go
first. That was
the little victory that you needed.
I really did. Thank you so much. Because you feel better
about yourself, even though you still
come in third overall. I'm a
better loser than I was a minute ago.
Right? You have 71 points.
Chad ended up with 85.
And Amy Miller, 112 points.
Champion.
That's a champion.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
I respect a champ.
Thank you, guys.
Get it, champ.
You won it again.
You won it again.
I'm dangling.
You're a dangle dangle.
Can you join us, Amy?
Can you join us again?
It's actually bonus episode
time, so we're going to be taping one on
Thursday. Can you join us Thursday
afternoon? I'm pretty sure.
It depends what time, but we'll talk
about that.
I will double check with you and the listeners
will be in suspense.
They'll find out when they find out.
Amy Miller, what would you like to plug?
Go ahead and promote yourself.
Oh, yes.
Next weekend, I'll be in Chicago at the Comedy Bar and then Washington, D.C.
Come see me at the Comedy Loft the following weekend.
I'll be in Seattle in March at the Crocodile, which has a new little venue
with a lot of good comedy shows.
For all dates and information,
please go to amymillercomedy.com.
Ding!
Yes!
Please do. Please go to
amymillercomedy.com.
Go see a live show
and enjoy it.
And Chad and I are coming to Alaska in April.
Oh!
Are you doing Jerry?
I didn't even know you were doing that.
Are you doing Jerry's tour?
Are you doing the Alaska?
Is it through Jerry?
Oh, we're doing a comedy festival.
We're not going on our honeymoon or anything, are we?
I mean, I wish.
No, no, no, Jerry.
No, the comedy guy.
The guy's name is Jerry.
You know, the guy nobody knows who you're talking about.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
You know, Jerry in Alaska.
No, he books the tours up there.
I know what you're talking about.
We'll ask around.
But they're going to do some festival.
They don't know Jerry.
Okay, okay, okay.
We don't know Jerry.
But Jerry is a great guy, and I'm excited.
It's so fun.
You're excited about him.
It's my favorite shows are up there.
It's so fun to do stand-up up in Alaska.
They're great crowds.
Yeah.
Do you like them because it's just all men?
No, actually, it was actually, it was, I got, well, it burned down, but it was like this old Quonset hut.
Like, it was like, it was such a cool theater.
And I felt like it was actually much more gender balanced than I thought it would be.
And I felt like they were really hardy people
that were grateful that,
but they were like ready to come laugh.
Like they were like,
I felt like they were grateful people were there
and it was, they were just really fun crowds.
I was actually nervous about it
cause I thought it was only gonna be guys
and that they wouldn't necessarily,
like my comedy wouldn't necessarily appeal to them.
And I felt like I was very welcomed.
It was really fun.
Did they, did he, but it was multiple venues or you sounding like you did a lot of shows
in one spot?
It was like four different venues.
So it was in Fairbanks.
Like there was two, that was my favorite one was the blue, but it was really fun.
And I felt like all the crowds were just very happy to have people there. it was i had a great time i would do it yeah i i one of the
times i went i've been up there a couple times one of the times i went i there was a military base
and a uh and just a random bar in the north pole oh oh i went to the north pole apparently that's
like there's like that's like the meth like really meth meth-y in the North Pole. I was all excited
to go see Santa and they were like, hope you like
meth. I was like, what?
Yeah, and if she does.
How do you think they make all those toys?
So what
city is this thing you're doing
Chad and Amy? Anchorage.
It's called Alaska Before You
Die Festival.
We just went off on a long thing about Fairbanks when the subject was Anchorage.
But I also did Anchorage.
I went to Anchorage with them.
It was fun.
Oh, you did?
We did like a whole tour.
Yeah.
I never did Anchorage.
It's fun.
It's more of a city.
It's my first time ever been there.
No, that's what I heard.
And I guess that's why I didn't do it.
So Anchorage.
And what's the date? Oh oh it's sometime in april like april 8th and 9th or something yeah yeah i think that's it
alaska before you die but of this year yes 2022 all right well i just you know people are getting
stuff on their calendars uh next year aren't i right our yeah i got something on the books in january i'm doing a movie january yeah hotel for dogs too hotel for dongs
starring me and john him ham hole ham hole yeah um yeah you watch it through a ham hole
so uh like a you know the little kaleidoscopes.
What do you got to promote other than
Anchorage,
Alaska, and April, Chad?
I'll be performing
Club Dingle Flash as
Benedict Bendlesnatch.
Oh, no! Oh, great.
I was going to set you off on a whole new career trajectory.
That's so cool.
That's a big deal.
I'm going to be doing the Tree Fort Music Fest set you off on a whole new career. That's so cool. That's a big deal. Yeah, that is.
I got,
I got a,
I'm doing to be doing the, uh,
tree fort music fest and Boise.
And yeah,
that'll be cool.
That's a fun one.
Yeah.
And I'm very excited.
I'm very glad.
Uh,
voice voice voice.
And I'm very glad I didn't know you were even on the Alaska show,
Amy.
So that's even cooler.
I'm a headliner.
Yes.
Okay.
That's awesome.
Yeah. And that's probably the best time of year to go there.
Cause you'll get like warmish days,
but there'll still be lots of like white everywhere.
And like, you can go look at ice sculptures.
Cause it's still cold, cold enough for that. I hope I see a whale. Ooh,
Oh my God.
Don't listen, Amy. Hey, Chad, you should, uh God. Hey, Chad. Don't listen, Amy.
Hey, Chad, you should, you know, between now and then purchase a whale costume.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because when Amy gets fucked up, she'll just be so excited to meet a whale.
Yeah.
You were going to say a couple of tickets to a tour on a boat to see whales with your friend Amy.
No.
No. He took it in a very, very weird to see whales with your friend Amy. No. Very weird direction.
Put on your whale costume.
I'm just going to put on my fucking whale outfit and Amy will be like
wow. Yeah.
I'll have a whale of a time.
Yeah or just lay under some whale
blubber or something. Absolutely.
That'll get her attention.
You're really roasting Chad.
When we perform together, I make Chad do somersaults across the stage.
Wow.
Oh, he's very limber.
It's incredible.
It's so good.
Arden Marine, go ahead and do your plugs.
Thank you.
I have a podcast, a bachelor podcast.
Thank you.
I have a podcast, a Bachelor podcast.
It's a comedy podcast called Will You Accept This Rose that Doug is a very big part of, a beloved fixture on.
He is the captain of the podcast.
And we drop episodes every Wednesday.
No, I guess now it's Tuesday again because the show now airs Monday nights.
We drop them every Tuesday.
It's on iHeartRadio. And next January, Doug,
all of us will be at San Francisco
Sketch Fest on each other's podcasts.
I'm impressed you actually
know the date, Doug.
January 27th? Is that right?
No, your show will be Sunday, January
29th at 4 o'clock at the
Gateway Theater on Jackson
Street in San Francisco,
California.
Holy cow.
You're amazing.
I can't wait.
I don't know how I knew all that.
Yeah, and the day before in that same venue
is when we do Doug Loves Movies
and I'm also going to do
Benson Movie Interruptions
of Lost Boys and The Goonies
which will still be classics a year from now.
True.
You know, that's not going to,
people aren't going to be over those movies by a year from now.
Your Doug Loves Movies at the Gateway last year or two years,
it was like one of those fun live shows I've ever done.
That made me laugh so hard.
It was so fun.
Your shows are always a blast,
and your fans are always a blast and your fans are
always hilarious and great and it was i had i just remember laughing and laughing and having the best
time was that the show did the guy have that huge stopper my mom will shoot poster probably
it was uh rob cordray yeah adam savage from miss from Mythbusters.
Right.
It was really fun.
Yeah.
Thanks, everybody.
Hey, Seth.
Douglas Movies is coming back to San Diego.
It's coming back to Sacramento.
Is everybody getting the hint that it's places that are not far away and uh also pretty warm um and in april
coming back to miami that's right the improv in uh someone recently told me i always call it doral
but somebody recently told me that it rhymes with coral so it's more like doral that's what you said
with coral so it's more like doral that's what you said no that's the thing as i say doral and it's more like doral doral coral i don't know anyway nobody that nobody that lives there
would is mad at me about it because none of them listen to my show like everybody that comes to
douglas movies when i do it there they come from other, you know, other parts of Miami and other parts of Florida,
but douglasmovies.com is where all of my dates and deets can be found.
But this, this next one in San Diego is exciting because that's on,
on February 5th, the Saturday.
And I still have this ongoing thing where an audience member, if they
can name the actress's
name that I wrote down and put in my wallet,
they'll win, at this point
the cash prize is up to
I think $380.
And this has been
going on forever, so hopefully we can
finish that in San Diego
and if not there, Sacramento
on February 19th.
Amy Miller, Chad Opitz,
Art and Marine, thank you so much.
Thanks, Doug.
That was delightful. Thanks, everybody.
That was so fun.
As always,
deliver my soul from the
sword, my darling, from the power of the dog.
What?
It's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies.