Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Billy Wayne Davis, Ramon Rivas II and Jim Tews guest
Episode Date: September 3, 2018Live from Hilarities in Cleveland, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Billy Wayne Davis, Ramon Rivas II and Jim Tews to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premiu...m. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Enjoy the show! Candy Rapper's screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies! You guys clapped for so long,
it just made it sound like I was lazy getting out here.
But I appreciate it.
Hey, everybody, my name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies!
That's not the place or time.
Coming to you for the second year in a row
at the Accidental Comedy Festival at Hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio!
Oh!
Oh!
That's how I like to say it.
I'd like a plane ticket to Cleveland.
Oh!
And then they ask me to
call another operator.
Do people buy airplane tickets over the phone still?
It's Saturday, September 1st, 2018.
And it's the perfect time of year for name tags.
Let me see what you...
Oh, my goodness.
Always a great name tag turnout here,
except for Angela in the outfield.
I don't care for that one.
But I know, you don't have to put it down.
You actually made it.
It is a good one.
It's just the easiest one for me to read
and then make fun of.
You know, I could go after Davey Driver
all goddamn day.
You just put you and me in it and the rest of the cast stayed the same.
Yeah, don't have to recast the whole thing.
You've got to replace Spacey, though.
Okay, over there.
We got Jurassic Park.
We got Justin Park.
Have you used that one before?
No.
No, first time?
But it's got some Tito's on there.
Yeah, people put Tito's on their name tags
because they know I love Tito's,
but my guests, they may not give a shit about Tito's.
It's worth a shot, though, I guess.
All Dogs Go to Kevin,
which I wish that was a real movie.
That when dogs die, they just show up.
Ghost dogs show up at Kevin's place.
He's like, why are you all coming here?
Because they mispronounced the name.
They said heaven wrong.
So we're going to Kevin.
You have two name tags.
Kevin.
My wife!
Kevin. You have two name tags.
Kevin.
My wife!
Alright, good job everybody.
I could describe name tags all day.
The listeners love it.
Doug Plugs, next weekend,
September 7th and 8th, I'm doing two shows
at the Alamo Drafthouse in downtown
Kansas City, Missouri.
Friday night,
September 7th, I'm doing a Benson movie
interruption of Barbarella.
Come for Jane Fonda nudity
in the opening credits. Stay for Duran
Duran.
Then the next day, there's a dude named that in that movie.
The next day, Saturday, September
8th, we're doing Douglas Movies at
420, also at the
Alamo Drafthouse. It's always fun to do Douglas
Movies in actual movie theaters.
DLM is also coming
to San Jose, San Diego and
Fantastic Fest in Austin,
Texas for all my dates
and deets and links
including, holy
shit, these both just went on sale,
the New York and LA
versions of
the 12 Guests of Christmas
at the end of November,
first weekend of December. All that
stuff is at, you know where it's at.
Douglovesmovies.com!
That's not how it works,
sir.
I was going to try to skip that part
so you wouldn't do that.
Then I thought, well, we've got to say it.
It's douglosmovies.com.
It's douglosmovies.com!
Yeah!
All right.
Prize bag. I'm holding one in my lap.
Brought you guys some stuff.
You know, I travel a lot, so it's got to be stuff that I can get on planes,
or that I actually get on planes.
This is Sir Kensington's condiments.
With my compliments.
They came with my burger on the plane.
I didn't want any of that shit.
I was at Ellis Mania in Vegas last weekend
and at one point they gave me a vodka soda in this beautiful plastic hard rock Las Vegas
... What do you call that? A cup? It's not a glass, it's plastic. The hotel here gave
me earplugs so I don't know what that's about. It's usually a sign that you're in a hotel and there's going to be a racket outside.
I think maybe the church across the street is probably going to ring their bells.
A Douglas Movies t-shirt, a winner coupon from the Hard Rock in Vegas that's worth,
I cashed out with 10 cents.
So that's, if you're in Vegas,'s worth, I cashed out with 10 cents. So that's if you're in Vegas, cash
that in. Douglas Mooey
sticker and
if this isn't the last one, it's the next
to last one, but I think this is the last
one of the Christmas
Peacemaker
water
pipes.
Yeah, you get one of those.
Plus, stuff brought by
all four of my tremendous
fests
here at the
guests.
Yeah, since this is a festival, we've got
terrific comedians here. Too many to
choose from, but I picked four.
Please give it up for Ramon Rivas, Jim
Choo's, Billy Wayne Davis,
and Amy Miller!
It's so hard to get up here
Hi
Hello
Hello, hello, hello
Hi Mike
That's Billy Wayne
He's funny, you'll like him
Okay, I'll introduce everybody
You know how this works, Amy
They were saying before the show
that we got to keep the mics close to our mouths
and far from the other mics.
So do both those things if you can.
All right.
Because I'm already hearing some weird feedback.
And also that was so funny
that you guys started playing music
when I introduced everybody,
like they normally would in a comedy club.
But this is a podcast,
so I don't know if I can afford whatever that song was.
I don't know if they can.
There wasn't enough of it for me to know
what it was, but
maybe we'll edit it out. I don't know.
Maybe we'll put a long
beep in there and then all the people that weren't here
today will be like, what the fuck was that long beep
about?
What's going on?
All right, yes, but let's do them
individually,
starting with the gentleman that Amy already pointed out to everybody
because he's a first-time guest.
It's Billy Wayne Davis, everybody.
Do I show my gifts?
What's that, Billy?
Do I show my gifts?
No, I'll get to it.
Well, you know, the people here would like to see you drop your pants.
Is that what you're asking?
I would.
Okay.
I mean, I'm married, so let's do it.
Okay.
No, you can just hang on to your stuff for now.
We're going to...
We'll come back around in a little bit about that.
Right now, we're just meeting you and welcoming you to the show.
Oh, okay.
Hey.
It's great to have you.
It's good to be here.
And you're performing this weekend here at the festival. Yes, tonight at 10. Oh, okay. It's great to have you. It's good to be here. And you're performing this weekend here at the festival.
Yes, tonight at 10.
Oh, okay.
So everybody just hang out for four hours, five hours.
Four hours.
Yeah, four hours after my show's done, you can come check him out.
That would be nice.
Yeah, that would be nice of you to do that.
And there's so many great things to do out there downtown Cleveland.
Drinking.
So many.
I just make sure
that I don't have any change in my
pockets when I leave the hotel.
Because I don't like lying to people.
You're a terrible person.
It's an old joke. I slipped in an old joke.
But Billy Wayne Davis is going to be also a first-time guest.
I wrote it down.
He did Getting Doug with High.
I should say he's about to do Getting Doug with High.
And, yeah, and you can watch that on YouTube on Tuesday at 12.15 Pacific, so that'd be 3.15 here in Cleveland.
You should.
On my YouTube channel.
I bet I get really high on it.
I got so high with you, I keep referring to it as if it already happened.
Can't keep it straight, but that's what happens when you pre-tape
for the second year in a row
Amy Miller is here
hi Doug
I feel like I can't do
Doug Loves Movies in Cleveland without you
thank you
it's very flattering
you always sit right there.
You're always right next to me.
I sit by you every time in every city.
It's a very teacher's pet situation.
I'm so hungover, Doug.
Yeah, what happened?
My body's made of booze.
You were like,
you texted me, want to go out to a bar
at I forget what time last night.
And I was already drunk and back in my hotel room.
I got drunk really fast last night.
Because we'll get into it more in a second, but I was at a Blink-182 concert.
Cover band.
Blink-182 cover band.
Blink-182.
Yes, that's what they're called.
band. Link 180 True. Yes, that's what
they're called.
So why, how did you
get so hungover? How'd you do it?
Well, it's a comedy festival and they
give us free drinks and then I take
them because it's
my payment mostly.
So you didn't
go to another bar?
I went to a party. I went to a party. We part bar? I went to a party.
I went to a party.
We partied.
We went to a party.
I feel like I can't name any movie
that I've ever seen ever right now.
I feel crazy.
Well, that's good.
Finally, the guys that are competing against you
will have a chance.
How dare you.
Yes.
Starting with, directly to Amy's left, it's Ramon Rivas II.
Number two.
Hello.
El Segundo.
El Segundo.
El Segundo.
The second.
Yeah.
I speak Spanish.
I was just thinking of the street.
I'm like, which intersection?
The man who put this entire festival together, everybody.
Ramon Rivas.
There's a lot of other members of X.
I don't know who did a lot of work, too.
Well, people do.
Yeah, a lot of people.
But this is one time where the Hispanic dude gets all the white people's credit.
And it's nice. It's very nice.
Yeah, I was going to say, they were all clapping.
That was good.
Good job, everybody.
And what number year is this of this festival?
This is the seventh year.
It's been accidental, but I was taking
Lisa Traeger, who had on the first night
we went and ate Superior Fug,
because that's kind of just a thing that's delicious.
And we're walking in, and she's like,
I can't believe we've been doing this for eight years,
because eight years ago I did a comedy stage at Ingenuity Fest
when it was under the Detroit Superior Bridge.
So the festival's like, this started at this weird underbridge area.
And then now we're still kind of under...
Who wants to come to a festival in my weird underbridge?
Not a lot of women showed up that year.
Not a lot of room either.
Just one or two dudes.
Yeah.
Just hanging in my underbridge.
A lot of trolls.
There's just one troll per bridge.
Yeah, but he's just a lot of right-wing opinions.
But yeah, so it's cool to slowly...
There's comics who...
Lisa was at that first year.
Critter's Cook, whose headline later tonight was at that first year.
Seeing where they've gone from then,
we were just kind of
open mic-ing and doing
random bar shows, so now we're just
all doing cool stuff.
Everybody's killing it.
More shows and also open mic-ing.
We do still open mic, that's true.
Yeah.
We still do all the same. We still
don't get paid at the same rate.
But it's more fun.
I don't know.
It's nice.
It's cool.
I was in Scotland all last month,
and I came back,
and it's just all cool audience members,
friends, my family came.
It was nice, man.
I feel like I asked a follow-up question.
Oh, no.
I'm just real high, and I just kept talking.
I feel like I was cool.
I was in Scotland.
And we got one more person to meet.
It's his second appearance on the show, I believe.
It's Jim Tooze, everybody.
Hello.
Thank you.
The first time you were on the show, I believe,
was in the Women's Club in Minneapolis.
Correct.
And now here you are.
You're back.
And last night, in the lobby of my hotel,
they had a stack of tickets to see a Weezer cover band
and a Blake 182 cover band at the House of Blues.
And I was like, I got gotta at least pop in for that.
Yeah. I'm way more
into Weezer than Blink-182, but they're both
good enough that I would
be interested to see people pretending to be them.
Or even just pretending,
just taking their vibe and their
songs, basically.
They don't do impressions of the guys.
Well, Blink-180-True kind of did.
Kind of.
Because they're Blink-180-True.
They're really truthful
and into it.
There's no nonsense.
Billy Wayne Davis.
But I miss the
I miss the Pinkertones
They were solid
I got there too late for that
The Pinkertones were solid
I went more primarily for the Pinkertones
Sure
And they were like really good musicians
That were playing Weezer
And they were
Like into it but too into it And Not in a Weezer. And they were, like, into it, but too into it.
And not in a
Weezer-into-it way,
just a we're-on-stage kind of way.
And I like Weezer
a ton, so I need that.
You're in your own Weezer cover band.
Yeah, I'm getting there.
Ramones, you don't have to ask
follow-up questions either.
I want, like, a timid lead singer in a Weezer tribute band.
Right, yeah, you want someone doing a little Rivers act.
Right, and like Ramones said,
I'm in a Weezer tribute band called The Undone Sweaters
with a bunch of other comics,
and I didn't realize how unexciting it would be
to see a Weezer tribute band when you're in one.
Which Weezer are you in your band?
I'm the Rivers.
You're Rivers.
The timid front man.
The autistic front man.
Do you go in front of the mirror before every show
and you're like, I can't do this?
No.
To get in character?
No, I just play it.
Are you dating half Japanese girls?
Yeah.
Goddamn them.
I had a huge problem with them for a while.
All right, Billy.
Yes.
Now it's time.
What'd you bring for the prize pick?
Show us your gifts.
I'm very excited.
FYE is going the fuck out of business in Tower City, by the way.
It's been going out of business for ten years.
Yeah, but they're done in seven days is what I was told.
So I might go back tomorrow.
It'll still be there.
Just to see what people have thrown about.
Because that's what it is.
There's just percentages everywhere
and people being like fuck this
thanks for giving us the FYI on FYE
you're welcome
I have a superhero hack
which is a Batman signal on a hacky sack.
That's for when you're like,
hey, I'm just gonna enjoy my life
and not get laid, and I'm okay with it.
It's got instructions on the back, too.
Can't use your hands, motherfuckers.
In case any of you stoners are unfamiliar
with how to hacky sack.
It's like soccer, but not.
It's soccer for people who can't run.
I can just hear Christian Bale yelling at some hacky sackers.
They can't run.
You let it hit the ground.
I like that it's rainbow colored.
Classic Batman colors.
A rainbow.
It's San Francisco Batman.
What the fuck? I don't even know who the fuck?
I don't even know who the fuck this is.
It's Enzo Amore.
It's who?
Great wrestler Enzo Amore.
Really?
It looks like if my nine-year-old was like,
look at all the clothes I found.
He was?
Was recently kicked out.
I gave him $20 at the dollar store.
I'm like, fucking lose your mind, son.
He's really good at wrestling,
but he recently raped somebody
and then he got kicked out.
I know, it's sad. He was my favorite.
It was 60% off.
It seems like it should be lower.
I think that's just for the wood and the frame.
So I got a frame of a rapist.
I'm sorry, you guys.
I didn't know.
All right, you guys.
Enough with...
Stop saying that word.
I'm sorry.'re uncomfortable, Doug.
I just don't want this show to get Me Too'd.
Doug Benson's podcast loves rape.
Hey, everybody, my name's Doug, and I love rape.
Stop it!
Oh, so many bleeps
and edits in this episode.
Why is this episode five minutes long?
I also have the receipt.
Oh, perfect.
That's what you get.
Pass that on down here.
Thank you for bringing that, Billy.
It was fun. Great job.
Right? It's fun to shop for
others.
What do you got
for us, Jim?
I got some movies on
a DVD.
That format's about to
take off, I think. Yeah, yeah.
I thought about getting a DVD player
for whoever gets the DVDs,
but I figured you'd all be pretty equipped.
These are collections.
This is the Laugh Out Loud three-movie collection.
Kevin James in Here Comes the Boom,
Kevin James in Paul Blart Mall Cop,
and Kevin James in Zookeeper.
I hope somebody picked Kevin James today
because I got three in the hopper.
Okay, what are they?
Wait, hang on a second.
Amy, what are the three?
Here comes the boom.
Malt cup.
Oh, full title.
Paul Blart.
I don't remember the third one.
I knew it.
Jim, help her out.
I'm going to give you another chance
if somebody gets Van Damme.
We've got Assassination Games,
Double Team, Maximum Risk,
and Until Death
on the Action Classics Unleashed
four-movie collection.
Four movies?
Four damn movies.
And then I made a little trip to Mark's today.
Is that a dude that everyone
in Cleveland knows?
Basically.
It's like if a dude everyone knew
stole bad groceries and sold them
at a discount.
I used to live here.
That's a good business plan.
It is.
I wanted to get something wearable,
so I got a very Marx shirt that is...
I guess it's theoretically an Indian shirt,
but there's obviously some licensing issues.
No, they just like baseball in Cleveland.
It's just like any park anywhere.
I love watching the Cleveland baseballers.
I love watching them play.
I prefer it to your current mascot, just going to say.
Yeah, I mean, I figured.
It's a baseball.
Keep it simple, you know?
It's a little better than the Wahoo,
but it's still a weird font.
That is capitalism, is what that is.
We gonna make some money.
So that's all I got, sorry.
Do you think the Wahoo guy is continually happy
or always asking somebody
if there's something in his teeth?
He's on drugs.
He looks fucking happy.
Because his land got taken.
He's like, I'm a stereotype, but I'm happy about it.
I'm pleased as punch.
Ramon, what do you got?
I got a loaf of bread from our food
we had yesterday.
It's really good bread.
My dad made pork shoulder and rice yesterday for all the comics, which was cool.
I got some hats from Terp House.
I actually got three, so I'm just going to throw one out in the crowd right now.
Actually, no one needs three hats, so I'm going to throw one more.
So someone got some hats.
Ramon, you seem a little extra reverb-y compared to everybody else.
I agree.
I also sound very mumbly.
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Accidental Comedy recently priced the album to other members of the group,
so there's a copy of that.
And that's available afterwards on streaming sites.
Turp House also put a shirt in here.
There's an Accidental Comedy Fest shirt.
There's an Accidental Comedy Fest poster and a poster of me looking sad.
And eating a sandwich, right?
No, that one's... I'm out of that one. Oh, yeah, don't forget the sandwich. Bam!
You have to build the sandwich yourself.
Or bread, rather.
It's good bread.
It's really good bread.
It's from Walmart.
Just feels like something an old lady would hit an attacker with.
Yeah, like a marble ride.
Yeah, exactly.
That's where Ramone got it.
Don't take my marble ride.
What do you got there, Amy?
Okay, very good prize bag today.
Somebody's going home with some stuff.
Very good.
I had a lot of adventures at the Dollar Tree.
Okay, first we got a wine glass that says promoted to cougar.
It's fun.
That's fun.
Just a conversation piece.
That means divorced, right?
Do you need help?
Do you need my help?
No, I don't need your help.
Got a pack of mustaches.
You can put them on your face.
That's fun.
Thank you.
Okay, got some Sour Patch Kids in honor of Playboy Sean Jordan.
We miss him so much.
Okay.
This is also the dollar store.
It's a framed certificate of achievement.
It doesn't
have a name on it yet.
Donald Trump.
You win. We'll put your name on it.
I'll have everybody sign it.
I accidentally filled it out
yesterday, and so I wrote August,
and then I had to cross it out.
But this is your official certificate
for winning Doug Loves Movies if you do that.
I mean, you're not going to do it with me.
Not today.
Please don't let me pick your name tag.
And then, wait, I do need your help.
Local Cleveland artist, Butt Coffin,
has donated three
incredible paintings
to the prize bag.
You can sell these.
I don't care.
I'm selling them, actually.
100 bucks.
Who wants it?
He's the best.
You can check him out
on Instagram at Butt Coffin.
It was very nice of him
to donate these paintings.
Put them up in your house.
Next to your certificate
of achievement.
I got you a frame
for that certificate.
Everybody take a mustache
and put it on
and then pass it down.
It's an all mustache episode.
What if we already have a mustache?
You're going to have to
put it on and then rip it off later. It's going to be
great. Where's Doug?
Where did Doug go?
He took off. I got the Hitler one.
Oh, I
don't like fake mustaches.
Hello, Burt Reynolds.
You seem high.
Gotta get this weed to Texarkana.
We got a long way to go.
It's a short time to get there.
How'd you put that on?
It took me a little while to figure out how to get the adhesive off.
You mean Dollar Tree mustaches aren't top quality?
It takes a little effort, but see, Jim did it.
That looks great.
That is a good-looking stache.
If you don't move your top lip too much it won't fall off.
I can't do it.
I mean, I crouch.
Look at that.
His mustache is smiling.
I'll be a daisy if you do.
Are you going to tie a woman
to some tray tracks?
I moved here because of tuberculosis
I can't do it
This is one of the more visually entertaining episodes
Really wish you could see this
Thank you so much
Just like a woman
Can't even put on a mustache.
Ramones looks good.
Oh, fuck.
It's really good.
You got that at the Dollar Tree? I mean, most of them. Looks like you did. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm good. Oh, fuck. It's really good. You got that at the Dollar Tree?
I mean, most of them.
Looks like you did.
Yeah.
Oh, God, I'm good.
I got him good.
Do you think these are like someone's former real mustache hairs?
It's so soft.
I like touching it.
All right, Amy, you already said that your mind is mush today,
but can you remember what the last movie you saw was?
Oh, yes, the last movie I saw was Crazy Rich Asians.
I saw it in Denver, where there are no no Asians I saw it at the Alamo
I wonder why they didn't spell like crazy stupid love
like with a period after each word
crazy
what's the other one Rich
I almost called them crazy stupid Asians
I do not want that getting out there
yeah you still said it
I loved it.
Did you enjoy it a great deal?
Oh, yeah.
It was so whimsical, so fun.
So many stand-up comics in that movie, too.
What a gift.
I like that Awkwafina.
Oh, yeah.
She's hilarious.
She's funny, and she's a great beverage.
Thirsty.
Nico Santos, a great Bay Area comedian
was in that movie as Oliver
the best
I loved it, it was so fun
I love love, I love whimsy
I love Asians
just throwing that out there
you love people that are crazy rich?
No. Not usually.
But I liked them.
That's true.
I loved it. I had such a good time.
It was a really great
romance and
some fun shit.
Any mustaches?
Not that I remember.
I'm all into mustaches
now.
Ramon, recommend a movie that
has a lot of mustaches.
If you say Ocean's 8, I will murder you.
Super Troopers.
Yeah, that would have a lot.
I do know a movie
Fuck yeah
Amy's mustache makes me feel like
She would give me an unfair quote on work
You're literally talking about your own dad right now
I know
Ramon's dad was just telling me
how he hosed his old white ladies
for his construction
he doesn't hose them he's very good
at his job and he makes
very high quotes sometimes
makes great pork also
I think we're getting married
I mean this is how it starts.
It's a mustache ceremony.
What was the last movie you saw?
The last movie I saw, well, I went and re-saw 8th Grade,
but I talked about that last time I was on the show.
And I built it up too much, and the other person was like,
that just made me feel anxious the whole time.
I'm like, oh, yeah, that was good for me, though.
person was like, that just made me feel anxious the whole time. I'm like, oh yeah, that was good for me, though.
But I saw
Sorry to Bother You as well, which was
really, really, really dope.
Oakland's own.
Did they seat according to who likes that movie?
Yeah. Because you're all in one section.
That was really...
Everyone over there is like, no.
You guys were into it. Okay.
Yeah, it was a visually stunning movie are you gonna
see that one a second time um i it's interesting because the person i went to the movies with
wanted to see either of those i was like between the two i would go see eighth grade again because
sorry to bother you was a great film but as a movie the the end of it just kind of left me kind
of like, hmm.
Where eighth grade felt like a more like,
ah, good for me.
Who's this person you went to the movies with?
Just my friend from LA.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Aren't details fascinating?
When someone's as specific as Ramon is,
it really, really makes the story sing.
Oh, look at that.
All of your Twitter handles are on the big sign over there.
I did request a line under mine.
Yeah, why is yours completely underscored?
I appreciate that.
Holy shit, so much classier looking.
It's an implied goddammit is what that is.
Yeah, and the Y in Billy and the Y in Wayne
are both just defiantly
crossing the line.
Habitual line stuff
with that Billy Wayne Davis.
All right.
I thought about it a lot.
This is great.
I'm just going to,
so I remember
everybody that's up here,
I'm just going to look this way.
At Jim 2's,
what was the last movie you saw?
I just stayed up late re-watching Clueless a couple nights ago.
What a great way to spend a late night.
It was.
I didn't plan on it, but it just happened that way.
It's crazy how good that movie is.
And how it's not dated yet.
Well, I don't know.
Is there dated stuff in there? I mean,
obviously nobody says as if for going postal
anymore, but... Yeah.
I mean, I guess like the Paul Rudd
romance thing. I had a
stepsister and when that movie came
out, we were of age for that movie
and everybody's like, hey, what's
wrong with that? And I'm'm like a lot is wrong with that
have you been to Pornhub lately like my parents are still together so like I go
to Pornhub I'm like none of this relates to my life at all yeah I got I got a lot
of dysfunctions to choose from yeah Step Sister is not one of them.
But it's a good movie, regardless.
Yeah, okay.
That's what I meant.
You're like,
I don't want to fuck my Step Sister.
I'm going to start a Weezer cover band.
And that's never going to be dated ever.
That old cliche
Billy
Hey
How's it going down there?
I'm having a good time
Do you have to get into your cart soon?
Gonna go fix some toilets.
Who needs a chimney sweep?
You gonna untie that woman from the train tracks?
She knows what she did
I gave everybody enough time to get to her
That train barely runs
What was the last movie you saw, Billy?
The Hunted
With Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro.
I didn't expect applause for that.
That is very weird.
Why did that happen?
Because I like it, and it makes me feel good when I watch it.
It's not like a feel-good movie, but it's just amazing.
It's like if they weren't doing cocaine when they made Rambo.
That's what that movie is.
Ha, ha!
It's just cool.
Okay.
There's pretty stuff in between the fight stuff.
I like it.
It's like, and when you're,
and it was like one of the first movies I saw
when I was like really stoned in college.
And it's like, when you see,
that's like the first time you see a movie
when you're really stoned, you're That's the first time you see a movie when you're really stoned.
You're like, oh, this makes everything awesome.
So I try to make it,
think about that every time I watch it
and it never works.
Made it sad at the end.
Sorry.
Well, thank you, Billy Wayne Davis.
Underlined.
You got to yell it.
And don't forget that Ramon Rivas,
his Twitter name is Blazer Ramon.
Yeah.
Amy Miller is an easy one.
Pretty straightforward.
Your dad had Ramon Rivas already.
Okay.
Pretty straightforward. Your dad had Ramon Rivas already.
Gosh.
No, but I'm the second, so it was just people kept thinking I was Italian, which they will
with that mustache on you.
Oh.
And then it was just easier to remember.
And then I like smoking weed, and I used to like wrestling, so I'm kind of pissed.
I'm going to put somebody on some train tracks.
All right.
Turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin.
Oh, sorry about that.
Wow.
Turn the house lights off.
That's some serious feedback on that one.
All right, so lots of great name tags.
Go ahead and pick who you'd like to play for.
And while the selection process happens, we'll go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
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Whoa.
Very thorough name tag.
Do I owe you rent?
I was like, look at those name tags.
Had you...
So many name tags!
Who are you playing for, Mario?
Wait, me? You're like Witch Mario.
Yeah, I feel like we're all Mario.
This is like Super Nintendo, regular Nintendo.
Yeah.
I'm Luigi, motherfucker.
Oh, Billy found one with his own name on it.
Yeah.
I went the narcissist route,
and I was like, that's my name.
Kill Bill.
My Kill Bill is what it says,
but it's got your head on a terrible drawing
of Uma Thurman.
Where I think she's bleeding.
That drawing, yeah.
It looks like putting your head on her made her bleed.
That's something Tarantino
would do to her, though.
Well, made it sad again.
Alright.
Great job. Yeah, you can put that over there.
Jim, what do you got?
Halloween 3, Season of the Rich.
So many candies and boozes.
So many.
Honestly, I'm going to lose.
I told everybody that,
but I appreciated the product display at the bottom.
It had a very movie theater feel.
And then there's a ton of people
that are not me on this.
You guys don't have to put
T.J. on there.
Amy's on there.
A little tiny T.J.
right next to an eagle.
Jeff Tate.
I think this is Doug.
So funny.
I thought she might be here.
Curtis is down there.
Chris Gethard.
Great.
I could sub for him, right?
Sure.
Natasha for some reason.
And a bunch of booze.
I know, but she's not here in Cleveland.
No, but neither is most of those people.
All right.
Ramon, what do you got?
I picked this one.
It says Rambo First Bud.
And then I liked it
because the bow fits in.
It doesn't change
the pronunciation of the movie.
And then it also looks like
a child and an adult made it
at the same time.
Which is, I empathize with this,
because this is what every creative endeavor I try to make looks like.
There's just a blank square that size on their refrigerator
until they bring that back.
Until they bring that back home with all the goods.
But Ramon might not win today, so we'll see.
Amy?
I'm playing for Jocelyn,
who put sparkles on my body, and that's
why I picked it.
What did the Jocelyn
can lawyer? Okay, I've never
heard of a movie, so I wasn't sure.
And
it's got Doug's face on it,
and it says you have the alright on it, and it says, you have the all right, all right, all right
to remain silent.
Yeah, he was the Lincoln lawyer.
He was the lawyer that worked out of his car.
That was the premise of that movie.
Are you being serious?
Yes.
Now I'm going to see it.
Some premier open mouth acting.
Alright, so you can toss that
down on the ground now if you want.
You don't have to hang on to it.
But
I prepared several games for you guys today and down on the ground now if you want. You don't have to hang on to it. But I've prepared
several games for you guys
today and I'm
pretty sure none of you
have listened to the show.
Right?
Not recently.
Like us?
Perfect.
No, all these people out here in the audience don't listen to it.
They just came on the chance it might be interesting.
Cleveland.
He'll give anything a shot.
Cleveland rocks.
All right, so...
So, I mean, I dance from place to place when I'm here
because that's all I think about is that Drew Carey...
Drew Carey liked to dance around town, so I'll do it.
I studied dance from Ryan Stiles.
Anyway, the reason I asked if you guys have been listening
is because lately I've been playing a game
that if somebody listens to the show,
they could probably actually study up
and be good at this game.
But I'm sure you guys haven't.
It's called Swift Justice.
You know, Taylor Swift's summer tour rages on.
And I'm going to go see her again
next weekend in Kansas City.
If you were wondering,
why is he going to Kansas City so much?
Just to see her.
Here's how this game works.
I'll read the plot description of a movie
from the IMDb page of that movie.
And then the first person on this stage
to guess the correct title,
which is also the title of an unrelated Taylor Swift song,
wins.
If the description isn't enough,
I'll give you more clues.
Are you ready for it?
Yes.
Are you ready for it?
Yes.
I'm covered in glitter.
How'd that happen?
From the sign.
Oh, no.
They're called name tags.
Your boyfriend's going to think you went to a strip club.
Well, I'm with you, so... Probably.
He's going to know I went to a strip club.
Doug looks like he owns a strip club right now.
Yes, they dance for you.
Dance harder.
I'm so happy about this mustache
because finally my fake ID is going to match my look.
Okay. I already forgot how to play this game.
I'm just going to read the description of the movie
guess as often as you like,
but it's also the name of a Taylor Swift song.
And a movie, right?
I count on my guests not knowing the names of Taylor Swift songs.
And it works every time.
A young
maiden in a land called
Andalasia
who is
prepared to be wed is
sent away to New York City by an evil
queen where she falls in
love with a
lawyer. That is correct. Enchanted
is the correct answer.
Oh, I'm drunk.
I can't remember movies.
Starring my least favorite person,
Amy Adams.
That's just a joke.
I think she's great.
I was watching it in my hotel room today.
There's a movie called Vanish
that has Amy Adams in it and I watched
for a little while. She plays a reporter but
Superman never came around so I was like, fuck it.
Did anyone
disappear?
Yeah, it's about
a girl who's disappeared and she's a
reporter so she goes to cover the story.
This is exactly the plot
of Sharp Objects.
Is it?
Oh!
So were you watching Sharp Objects?
You guys saw It, right?
The movie It?
The original?
You know the girl, there's a bunch of boys and there's one girl, you know that one girl.
She's in this movie Vanish and she plays young Amy Adams and it's pretty brilliant because
they do look like older and younger versions of each other.
Great story.
That was a 180 true story.
And now, oh anyway, I was
going to say Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden,
Susan Sarandon. It's not a bad
movie, that Enchanted movie.
It's great. I love it.
And you get to go first, Amy, in our
next game called ABCD's
Nuts.
There's only one mustache left,
but I'm putting it in the prize bag
because all you need is one, really, to have a great time.
I'm going to have so much fun tonight.
I ate lunch today in a bar.
I'm going to go back in the same bar and see if they know it's me.
I'm a dog.
You don't know me.
I never have been here before.
My favorite movie is Do the Right Thing.
What?
Okay, so...
Do you guys know how ABC News Nuts works?
Oh, let me tell Billy about it.
Hey, Billy.
Hey.
So Amy's going to go first, and then it's going to go to Ramon and Jim.
So by the time it gets to you, I think you'll have a handle on what's happening.
Okay.
Each person down the row is going to get a different letter from a word that we're spelling.
And then all you've got to do is take that letter, name any movie that begins with that letter,
and you're still in the game.
Pretty simple.
But if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time,
then you win the whole thing automatically.
And there's always, not always,
but tends to be a theme between these titles.
And the movie we're going to spell,
or tonight we're going to spell or tonight we're going to
spell the movie, it's
Barbarella.
The Jane Fonda movie that I'll be
interrupting next Friday in Kansas City.
So,
we start with Amy. The letter B.
Name any movie that begins with the letter B.
Bad News Bears.
Oh, yeah.
I think the remake was called The Bad News Bears.
I don't know, but I think you're right about the original beginning with B.
I went with another classic, Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice.
All right, Ramone.
Oh, your letter is A.
He doesn't know how to spell.
Can you use it in a sentence?
Airplane.
Oh, with the exclamation point.
Did you write down a movie for every letter?
Uh-huh.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
You haven't played this game before?
Probably I have.
Yeah.
I went with A Wrinkle in Time.
That's the lyric.
I took all this extra facial hair.
I think I look like Zach Galifianakis in that movie.
So R is the next letter in Barbarella, Jim.
So any movie that begins with R.
Revenge of the Nerds.
Oh, you clearly haven't seen that movie lately, have you?
No.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
There is an R word in that movie.
Yeah.
Straight up.
I remember that movie came out.
We cheered when that happened.
When the nerd had sex with a woman that thought she was having sex with somebody else.
We're all like, ha ha, you tricked her.
Into having sex that she would not have had with you.
We didn't cheer.
It's brutal.
What do you mean?
Some people did.
No, I'm saying in theaters when that movie came out,
it was like people thought that was a big win for the nerds.
The nerds finally are getting in there.
I hate nerds.
Because they're so mean
to the nerds
through the whole movie.
I mean,
they don't deserve that,
but still.
They're rapists.
Also racists.
Wait,
so all the other people
on campus were precogs
and they knew
that the nerds
were going to get out of control someday?
So they started hating on them ahead of time?
I love that they're like,
I can't believe the black fraternity was nice to us.
They're scary.
It was every 80s movie.
Oops, we're in a black place.
Watch out.
Oh, they're nice? Cool.
That's every 80s movie.
I wish white people today
would watch 80s movies, guys.
People are less surprised by things.
Wait, who's...
Jim R.
Did you say one? Oh, Revenge of the Nerds.
I opened up a dialogue for that one.
Five minutes.
I went with a very similar movie in its themes and storylines.
Race to Witch Mountain.
So B is the next letter for Billy.
Name any movie that begins with letter B,
but you may notice a theme
emerging from the titles I've said so far.
Bad Boys 2.
Oh.
Way off theme, but still
a great answer.
I went with
Beowulf.
Well, the first one is
based off Beowulf, I think.
Amy gets the letter A. You guys are all
getting the letter that your name starts with.
I don't know the theme yet,
so I'm going to say
Awakenings.
Okay.
I went with Annihilation.
R for Ramon.
Again with the...
Can you repeat all the ones you've done so far?
Or is that my allowed to ask?
Beetlejuice, Wrinkle in Time, Race to Witch Mountain,
Beowulf, Annihilation, and R for
Kill It.
This guy over here thinks these are movies
that are based on books.
I read that Beetlejuice book three times
and then he showed up.
Official title is Handbook for the Recently Deceased.
Faulkner's most
underrated work.
R is my letter.
What'd you say? R is my letter right now.
Remember the Titans.
I'm just, that just because I
forgot all the things he just said.
That's fine. I went with
Ready Player One,
which I watched on the plane yesterday because I
enjoy that movie. That is based on the plane yesterday because I enjoy that movie.
That is based on the books.
Yes, that one is.
E is the next letter for Jim.
Edge of Tomorrow.
Ooh, otherwise known as Live, Die, Repeat.
True.
No, I went with the movie, I don't know if you've heard of this one, die, repeat. True. No, I went with a movie.
I don't know if you've heard of this one.
Enchantive? Fuck.
I was going to say that.
L is the next letter for Billy.
L.A. Confidential.
Okay.
I picked Legend, but they're both similar realms.
You can do this, Amy.
It's another L.
I do know the theme now, but I still don't have a good answer.
You don't have an answer?
I'm going to say love, actually.
Okay.
What's yours, Doug? Labyrinth. Okay.
What's yours, Doug?
Labyrinth.
Okay, so, Ramon, I'm going to wind up to this for you so you can really knock this one out of the park.
Beetlejuice, A Wrinkled Time, Race to Witch Mountain,
Beowulf, Annihilation, Ready Player One,
Enchanted, Legend, Labyrinth.
The letter A stands for...
I bet there's at least ten people in this room that know what I'm driving at.
I was excited because I thought I had L, and I was like, oh, I know, but then you said
the thing already.
What were you going to say for L? I was going to say legend, but you already said that.
I wasn't paying that much attention.
Well, I was, but it's just hard to retain all the things.
So we're at A.
Yes.
Yes, we are.
And it's all...
Okay. Yes we are And it's all Okay
Arachnophobia
What? Oh
That's not bad
Supernaturally
I don't know
I try to go with all fantasy films.
Big spiders aren't a fantasy?
No.
I mean, I don't remember.
I think there's a lot of them,
but I don't think they're supernatural spiders, are they?
People out here are scared of shit, man.
I think it's like Jaws, but with spiders.
I think... spiders are they people are scared it's like jaws but with spiders and people can't swim because of all the spiders are in the water I thought the theme was
people entering another dimension which means awakenings does fit okay I just
went with I just basically picked fantasy movies and the letter A of course stands for Avatar
I like somebody in the back
yep I knew that shit
that's the one I would have said
didn't say the answer just said yep
knew it
alright so
nobody officially won that one
so Amy still gets to go first in our final game of the show.
Oh, no.
I could have had it. I could have fucking had it.
Yeah, man.
And this particular game we're going to play
that we usually end the shows with lately
is called Last Man Stanton.
Oh, no.
Amy's already out
So Amy's gonna go first
I'll go second
I like to play along on this one Billy
You're gonna be after me
And then
Jim and Ramone
And we're gonna get the name of an actor or actress
From a pre-selected audience member
And then we're gonna take turns naming movies
That person's been in.
If you can't think of one,
or you say a movie that's not the correct title,
you're out.
But you also get one lifeline.
You can go to the person whose name tag you chose
one time...
over the course of the show.
Amy's ready to go to hers.
Oh, I know that guy. I was just waving to him.
Oh, you were just waving at a guy?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I know that guy. I was just waving to him. You're just waving at a guy?
We know each other?
Sorry.
I said lifelines and you were like,
I thought you were just acknowledging yours.
Just another guy.
He does not get to help you.
Just your lifeline. Where's your lifeline?
Right here. Jocelyn.
Hi, Jocelyn.
You come home with a mustache and glitter on you.
He's going to have no idea where you were.
With Doug.
Air show got crazy. Okay, so the pre-selected audience member that I have is,
where is Tony B. Greasy?
Yikes.
How greasy are you, Tony?
It's Greasy.
I'm Greasy O.V.
Why is your name, is that really your last name, Greasy?
No, it's kind of a nickname thing.
Oh, it's a nickname.
Kind of. Wow, I don't know. I can't imagine why someone would get a nickname Greasy? No, it's kind of a nickname. Oh, it's a nickname. Kind of.
Wow, I don't know.
I can't imagine why someone would get a nickname Greasy.
Take a shower, Tony.
Yeah.
Greasy, not Greasy.
It's a little different.
What's that?
Greasy, not Greasy.
Like the way Pauly Shore would say it.
Greasy, Greasy.
It's not far enough different if you have to explain it.
Greasy? It's not far enough different if you have to explain it. Greasy!
All right, Tony.
I'll just call you Tony.
What's your suggestion for the game today?
Cheech Marin.
Cheech Marin.
All right, now this is the part where at first I say,
fuck, that's not a good one. But then, I mean, I love Cheech,. All right, now this is the part where at first I say, fuck, that's not a good one.
But then, I mean, I love Cheech, of course,
and obviously he's been in some movies, for sure.
He's definitely a person that's done a lot of movies,
and we can probably think of a lot of them,
but I feel like the panel might be a little worried about it.
Very worried.
That's why we have backup.
It's a good thing Cheech showed up today.
Cheech has been on the show.
We should do it when he's on.
That'd be fun.
He forgets.
He loses.
It'd be fun.
Just bring some real pothead nerds in there
and let him...
He'd probably win
because he seems like he would remember stuff.
Chong, I don't know.
Chong might forget a thing or two.
His name's not Chong I'm sorry
Full title, Ampersand Chong
Alright, where is
But thank you for that
He will definitely be in the mix
But we're going to get a second name Where is Hybrid but thank you for that, and he will definitely be in the mix, but we're going to get a second name.
Where is Hybrid X Heaven?
Hey, man.
What's Hybrid X Heaven mean?
You don't know?
Is it a weed thing?
Oh, you should look into it.
Sounds like an AIM screen name.
Yeah, Hybrid.
You have a Prius?
Nice Prius?
Nice Prius?
You have a Prius?
Nice Prius?
Can you reveal your actual name?
Rich.
Heaven's better.
I can't see great from here, but I'm pretty sure you're not crazy or Asian.
You know who is? Chong.
He's half Asian, right?
Okay, so what's your suggestion, Rich?
Oh, wow, one of the biggest ones ever, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He's got a million titles, and Amy loves them all.
She probably can't get enough of those Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.
I love them.
Can we get double points for Cheech Marin movies and one point for Schwarzenegger movies?
That is an interesting way to approach the game, Ramone.
And we're not doing it.
Damn it.
Can we set this up so I can win?
That's a really good impression.
We've known each other a while.
Because it's, you know, it's not a game where you get points.
Oh, gosh.
It's a real revamp if you're giving out points.
No, it's an elimination game.
But you can stick with whichever one of those you think you'll be best at.
Schwarzenegger or Cheech.
And, yeah, so, Billy, you got that?
Yeah.
It's the films of either of those gentlemen. Starting with Amy, Billy, you got that? Yeah. It's the films of either of those gentlemen.
Starting with Amy, what do you got?
Born in East L.A.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I mean, if we're going to...
This is how we're going to do this.
I'm going to go
It's so weird when there's so many to choose from
and you're just going
I'm going to say Up in Smoke
Get that one out of the way
Billy
Nice Dreams
Full title please
True Lies Nice Dreams. Full title, please.
True Lies.
You get how this works. Final answer. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I, wait. Wait a second. Oh, that's good.
Ramone?
Tin Cup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to see Tin Cup and Kindergarten Cup.
Amy?
Terminator.
What?
Full title
Terminator 1
Terminator 1
They went back and renamed it
Is it not called Terminator?
There's more to it than that
Twins
Yeah Thank you Billy There's more to it than that. Twins.
Yeah.
Thank you, Billy.
No problem.
I'll set a precedent.
I don't care.
I never tried that before.
The Terminator.
Fuck you, Doug.
Billy.
Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
Yeah.
Some of us call it T2
like we're gonna climb it.
Jim.
Looks like you have an adult-sized
bangaroo.
Do you have a headache or something?
Brain freeze?
No, I was blanking on the fucking name of it
and I don't want to call my lifeline yet.
That would be pretty embarrassing.
I know. That's why I don't want to do it.
I warned them. I warned everybody
that I would lose and here I know. That's why I don't want to do it. I warned them. I warned everybody that I would lose, and here I am.
Fuck.
I think you should call your life on it.
Cheech Marin or Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Together they're in
500 movies. I know.
I just... Clueless is still
in my head, and...
Let me think. No, they're not in that one.
Cheech screen tested for that, though.
For the Paul Rudd.
I got it.
Jingle all the way. Sorry.
There we go.
I knew it would come if I just panicked for 30 seconds.
I've got the facial hair of
the Clueless Girl's dad.
What do you mean?
Dan Hedaya, yeah.
Okay, Ramon.
Predator.
Duh, Predator.
Ramon.
It's just called Predator.
I know.
You didn't know.
I was goofing.
I didn't know. I know.
I knew it.
Okay.
What do you got?
Why are you whispering at me, Ramon?
I can't stop playing with my stupid mustache.
The Expendables.
Why did you boo?
People,
sometimes they boo just because they don't care for the movie or whatever.
Sometimes they boo because they know that I'm about to say The Expendables 2.
Colon, still expendable.
Billy?
Commando.
Okay.
Alyssa Milano.
Remember her?
Yes.
There's no bonus points.
It's just nice to think about her.
Remembering the child actors doesn't get you anything here.
Jim?
What's that one where he's the governor of California?
That's not how this works.
This isn't Jeopardy.
You don't answer with a question.
No, I'm just talking.
I'm totally blanking.
You're showing us your work?
Yeah.
Okay, so...
I know, that was the joke.
I said the one where he was governor of California.
Oh, real life.
You guys are having a lot of fun.
I don't know if you can tell from my eyebrows,
I'm very angry.
Do you want to go to your lifeline, Ramon?
I have to.
His name's Jim.
Yeah. Yeah.
We both have really dynamic voices.
Do you want to use Jim's lifeline, Ramone?
No, I want a tougher one.
All right, Jim, go to your lifeline,
but also don't forget that, you know,
as we move forward...
I know.
...some other titles might remind you of other titles.
You know what I mean?
Well, they haven't yet.
I mean, there's one that was just so there for the taking
that I don't know why you haven't thought of that.
But I don't know full titles.
Don't tell him.
T3.
I can't get it wrong.
I can't get it wrong.
Don't get it wrong.
Go to your lifeline.
I need my lifeline.
Rich, where are you at?
Where's your lifeline at?
Rich.
Oh, God, thank you.
Total Recall.
Yes.
Well, you know, that's... You couldn't recall it, could you? It's hard to remember. I couldn't recall it. God, thank you. Total Recall. So good. Yes. Well, you know, that's...
You couldn't recall it,
could you?
It's hard to remember.
I couldn't recall it.
It's hard to have
Total Recall
about Total Recall.
It's the one
with the three tits, right?
Yeah, it is.
Full title.
That's the logline
of the movie.
The one with the three tits.
That is how they sold it.
That movie's got three boobs.
Sharon Stones and Arnold.
Okay, now it's Ramone's turn.
Conan the Barbarian.
Mm-hmm.
Amy?
Oh, no.
Still up in smoke.
We're still doing it.
Up in smoke, too.
Jocelyn?
That's interesting. They never did that.
They never did a movie where the title was up in smoke too
Jocelyn
Hmm
Oh we're going to Lifeline
Maggie
Oh
Maggie
Maggie yeah
I haven't even seen that movie
It's a zombie movie
That stars Arnott
I don't know what that is
That's a whole list
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Wow But you didn't make that list You're cheating Jocelyn I don't know what that is. That's a whole list.
Wow.
But you didn't make that list.
You're cheating, Jocelyn.
That means you're cheating.
I know.
I know.
It does mean I'm cheating.
I don't feel good about it.
Well, you're still in.
Okay.
I'm going to go with, there's so much so much out there
but I'm going to say
in honor of Ramon
Revis II
Jr.
Aww.
And I say that because Ramon
is a pregnant man.
Congratulations.
Billy?
From dusk till dawn.
Oh.
Nice.
Thank you.
Cheech still knows that whole
pussy speech that he says in that movie.
He is not shy about sharing it Jim
I fucking hate this
alright let me just
I just gotta point something out
cause it's driving me crazy
we said the expendables
we said the expendables 2 the expendables 3 something out because it's driving me crazy. What's up? We said The Expendables. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We said The Expendables 2.
The Expendables 3.
That's correct.
Yeah.
Come on.
What's your favorite part of that movie, Jim?
Oh, where they kind of arcs.
You think they're expendable, but then they're not.
You keep finding that over and over again
in that series.
It's still...
Still not as expendable as we thought.
I can't get rid of any of these guys.
I kept adding guys every movie.
All right. Ramone?
Desperado.
Okay.
That was good.
That was a gamble, too.
You didn't know.
No, I knew.
You just went with the prequel with what I said.
It wasn't a prequel.
Desperado was the prequel to fucking Dust Till Dawn.
What?
Amy?
From Dust Till Dawn 2.
Tuesday.
Is that not a movie?
I have no idea.
I think maybe there might have been something called that.
But there's more words after the two, probably.
And I don't know if Cheech is in it.
Okay, well, I guess I'm out.
Well, hang on a second here.
Let's not be too hasty.
T3.
Terminator 3.
Okay.
I like what you're doing.
Thank you.
Terminator 3.
Yeah.
The Edge of Reason.
Oh my God, that's such a good...
So close. Because it's four, that's such a good... So close.
Because it's four words that just don't matter.
I mean, it's a little bit more descriptive than your version.
Let me see how I can get you to say this.
You don't have to.
I'm fine losing.
You're too fine with losing.
Somebody said something about my eyebrows.
He was probably in the bathroom when they said,
don't yell out during the show.
He's just an idiot.
Very annoying. Your stash is going to pop off.
What's your favorite, Amy?
What's your favorite Disney animated movie?
The Little Mermaid.
What was the one that came out right after that?
Aladdin?
No.
Terminator 3, Aladdin.
In between.
after that.
Aladdin?
No.
Terminator 3,
Aladdin.
In between.
Beauty and the Beast.
No,
what's the other one?
Lion King.
Yes,
correct.
Terminator 3.
The Lion King.
No,
Svenja.
I don't know those words. Okay.
Terminator 3.
The Lion King is correct.
Cheech Marin is in The Lion King.
Oh, yeah, he is.
Yeah.
Good job, Amy.
He was one of the...
He's in The Lioners.
Amen.
It's like him and Whoopi.
He's also in a great movie called After Hours.
Billy?
Pumping Iron.
Yes.
That's good.
It's probably his best acting performance.
Okay, Jim.
Learn anything over all that time?
I might be making this title up Oh I love it
Terminator 3
Rise of the Terminator
So close
Can I help him?
He wants to steal
No it might come back around
Son of a bitch.
You're so close.
That wasn't right, Jim.
Cheech and Chong scared stupid.
Don't you make fun of Ernest.
Cheech and Chong saved Christmas.
Only Chong goes to jail.
Only Chong goes to jail.
Great documentary.
Don't you make fun of Ernest.
He's the best.
I mean that.
Alright, so Jim's out.
Ramon, you got anything?
You got any gas in the tank?
Red Sonja.
What'd you say?
Red Sonja.
It's like he was pretty much the dude he was in Conan.
He just didn't have a shirt on.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's all his movies.
Anything Amy?
nothing in there alright
you did great though
thank you
thank you so much
oh here's an Arnold Schwarzenegger one
that's fun to pull out in these situations
around the world in 80 days.
Had no reason to exist, had no reason for him to be in it.
What?
Billy!
Fuck.
You got this, Billy.
What?
Why are you yelling out the answer?
Oh, is he your love life?
At that point, yeah.
Oh, shit, sorry, I missed that.
He's a well-behaved heckler.
That is a...
He was called upon to scream.
But I think he should just scream that
every now and then for no reason.
Just, raw deal!
And everybody's like, mm-hmm, I know.
I say raw deal.
Okay.
Is that right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Eraser.
Eraser.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh.
He shoots a crocodile and says,
and then he goes,
your luggage.
He was hoping that caught on
so we could have a luggage line.
Okay, I'm going to go with that
Schwarzenegger movie that he did with
Jackass, Johnny Knoxville.
The Last Stand.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck, is it my turn?
Yeah.
Raw deal, huh?
Yeah, it is.
What's the one that Cheech and Arnold did together?
What's the one that Cheech and Arnold did together?
I want to say Kindergarten Cop 2 First Grade.
Why haven't they done that?
Arguably his greatest movie.
It's weird they haven't done a sequel to that one.
So you're out there, Billy? I believe so, yeah.
Alright, I'm going to call it
Ramon Rivas is
our winner!
Come on, man!
And for the record,
it was Cheech and Chong
in Nice Dreams.
Oh, that's a Tyler Perry
bullshit right there.
What's this?
Is it Cheech and Chong or the Corsican Brothers?
Uh-huh, and they were in
Yellow Beard, I think.
Cheech and Chong's
Chocolat.
Yeah.
I would like to see that.
Cheech and Chong's To Kill a Mockingbird.
But what did we miss, you guys?
Last Action Hero.
Last Action Hero, of course.
I fucking saw that movie in Cleveland.
I'm sorry. I didn't pick it.
Oh, yeah.
It's Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines.
That's the one I fucked up.
Oh, Batman Forever.
Oh, Batman Forever.
No, no. Batman and Robin.
Batman and Robin. You were wrong.
God damn, y'all. Love Arnold Schwarzenegger.
So sorry, Rich.
Running Man, of course.
Red Heat.
Raw deal.
Is this what Price is Right is like?
This is terrifying.
What about Cheech, though?
More Cheech movies?
Oh, yeah, Cheech and Chong's next movie.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
Oh, yeah, yeah, and Chong's next movie. Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nash Bridges.
The movie.
Machete and Machete Kills, maybe?
I hope everyone's remembering.
He's in some of the Spy Kids movies, I bet. Yeah, those are hard as fuck to remember the titles.
But yeah, great job, everybody.
Let's hear it for Ramone.
Let's hear it for Ramone.
Let's give Ramone a chance.
I'm drunk.
From yesterday, though.
Where's that person you were playing for, Rambo?
Rambo.
Where's Bo at?
Come get all your shit, Bo.
Get your shit off the stage.
We got a show to do.
Oh, if you meet me outside,
I'll sign that certificate of achievement.
Put your name in it.
Oh, I love it.
He's got an Accidental Comedy Festival shirt on.
Good job.
Thanks, Bo.
We did it.
Real quick, you guys. let's do some plugs.
Do you have anything you want to plug, Amy?
I have so many things I want to plug.
Okay.
September 5th in Portland at the Paris Theater.
September 6th in Seattle at the Central Cinema.
What's that movie theater called?
What?
Central Cinema.
Central Cinema. Okay, that movie theater called? What? Central Cinema. Central Cinema.
Okay, thank you, Billy.
September 14th, I'll be in Austin somewhere.
September 17th, I'll be at the Secret Group in Houston,
co-headlining with Chris Cubis.
Also, please listen to my podcast, Who's Your God?
And can I say one more thing?
Yeah.
It's long.
It's not long.
Tomorrow is my eighth comedy anniversary.
Yay!
Thank you so much.
And I love you guys.
I love your fans.
They're pretty nice, right?
They're so nice.
Thank you for coming to shows all over the country.
You guys are the best.
And you make sure that I can keep doing this job.
And what if I cried?
I'm going to cry.
Oh.
No, I'm not going to cry.
But it's nice.
Well, thank you.
Best fans ever.
I'm glad you spent your anniversary here in Cleveland.
That's wonderful.
Yeah.
Well, I'm going back to L.A. in the morning.
She's going to leave tomorrow, Ramone.
Do you want any of this shit that was on the name tag, Jim?
Yeah, I feel like that's why you picked it.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, get those Tito's off of there.
Ramone's going for a Kit Kat.
And do whatever you want with these.
Take whatever you want to do.
I just need the thing on the back.
Can I just rip TJ's face off of it?
Yeah.
Oh.
Ramone, what do you got to plug?
Oh.
Ramone, what do you got to plug?
I'm going to be headlining the Punchline in Sacramento on September 16th. Nice.
I'll be there a couple days before that with Dan Soder, who's super cool.
And then that's it.
So please hire me to do comedy.
Or you can just go to my website, blazerramon.com, to see all the weird shit I do.
Right on.
Jim Tews.
I'll be in Burlington, Vermont with Chad Daniels September 27th, 28th, 29th.
Where?
What?
Burlington, Vermont.
Thank you.
And then I'll be in Denver, Boulder, and Fort Collins
the first weekend of November.
And I have a podcast called Quitting Comedy.
And you can listen to that.
I talk to comics about what they would do
if they quit.
Because we all fantasize about it. I'm ready comics about what they would do if they quit. Because we all fantasize
about it. I'm ready to flee
the country. Yeah.
I'm another comedian.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm just a regular guy.
I'm a regular guy who touches his mustache
a lot. I don't love movies.
Ladies,
is it okay if I toss my mustache
in front of you?
Billy, what do you got? What's coming
up for you?
I have an album out live at Third Man Records.
It's available fucking anywhere.
Thank you, one person.
It's very good.
That does check out with album sales.
That checks out.
Also, I helped
on the Sasha Baron Cohen show
so watch that
it's one of the
funniest things
I've ever fucking done
so
and then just google my name
to see if I'm coming
anywhere near you
oh god
it's a terrible way
to say that
it's a terrible way
to say that right yes they that counts as consent, right?
They Googled it.
You Googled it.
I'd hope I would know.
You Googled it.
You get it.
Sorry, everybody.
All right.
I'm going to be doing two shows on Halloween at the Punchline in San Francisco.
And thanks again to everybody for coming out this afternoon.
To all my guests, Billy Wayne Davis, Jim Tews,
Ramon Rivas II, and Amy Miller.
You guys can just stay there for a sec,
because I'm just going to say three shitheads
and get the F out of here.
Is the festival going to happen again next year?
Yeah, man.
Quit trying to give me your name tag. You won.
Oh, shit. My bad.
Although, actually, Kill Bill didn't write a shithead, so I'll do both.
All right.
As always, my neighbor is a shithead for leaving passive-aggressive notes on my car.
I don't even own a car.
What is going on?
Anthony Precourt is a shithead for trying to relocate the Columbus crew.
Hashtag save the crew.
All right, get ready with that end theme.
And thank you again to Hilarities.
Money bail drug laws are a shithead.
What does that mean, Jocelyn?
I mean 100%, guys.
Play that song!
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.ie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky
there's no room in his heart for you