Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Billy Wayne Davis, Ramon Rivas II and Jim Tews guest

Episode Date: September 3, 2018

Live from Hilarities in Cleveland, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Billy Wayne Davis, Ramon Rivas II and Jim Tews to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premiu...m. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder from Comedy Central Radio is finally releasing their favorite clips as their very own Comedy Central podcast. They figured, hey, if our show is going to be bootleg, might as well make it official. Join Big Jay and Dan as they let you into the life of two stand-up comics with dad issues. Check out some of their best episodes featuring Michael Che, Neil Brennan, and even Andrew Dice Clay. Oh! Subscribe now to The Bonfire with Big J. O'Crescent
Starting point is 00:00:32 and Dan Soder on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. Enjoy the show! Candy Rapper's screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies! You guys clapped for so long, it just made it sound like I was lazy getting out here. But I appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Hey, everybody, my name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! That's not the place or time. Coming to you for the second year in a row at the Accidental Comedy Festival at Hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio! Oh! Oh! That's how I like to say it.
Starting point is 00:01:55 I'd like a plane ticket to Cleveland. Oh! And then they ask me to call another operator. Do people buy airplane tickets over the phone still? It's Saturday, September 1st, 2018. And it's the perfect time of year for name tags. Let me see what you...
Starting point is 00:02:19 Oh, my goodness. Always a great name tag turnout here, except for Angela in the outfield. I don't care for that one. But I know, you don't have to put it down. You actually made it. It is a good one. It's just the easiest one for me to read
Starting point is 00:02:37 and then make fun of. You know, I could go after Davey Driver all goddamn day. You just put you and me in it and the rest of the cast stayed the same. Yeah, don't have to recast the whole thing. You've got to replace Spacey, though. Okay, over there. We got Jurassic Park.
Starting point is 00:03:02 We got Justin Park. Have you used that one before? No. No, first time? But it's got some Tito's on there. Yeah, people put Tito's on their name tags because they know I love Tito's, but my guests, they may not give a shit about Tito's.
Starting point is 00:03:15 It's worth a shot, though, I guess. All Dogs Go to Kevin, which I wish that was a real movie. That when dogs die, they just show up. Ghost dogs show up at Kevin's place. He's like, why are you all coming here? Because they mispronounced the name. They said heaven wrong.
Starting point is 00:03:39 So we're going to Kevin. You have two name tags. Kevin. My wife! Kevin. You have two name tags. Kevin. My wife! Alright, good job everybody.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I could describe name tags all day. The listeners love it. Doug Plugs, next weekend, September 7th and 8th, I'm doing two shows at the Alamo Drafthouse in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. Friday night, September 7th, I'm doing a Benson movie
Starting point is 00:04:07 interruption of Barbarella. Come for Jane Fonda nudity in the opening credits. Stay for Duran Duran. Then the next day, there's a dude named that in that movie. The next day, Saturday, September 8th, we're doing Douglas Movies at 420, also at the
Starting point is 00:04:23 Alamo Drafthouse. It's always fun to do Douglas Movies in actual movie theaters. DLM is also coming to San Jose, San Diego and Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas for all my dates and deets and links including, holy
Starting point is 00:04:39 shit, these both just went on sale, the New York and LA versions of the 12 Guests of Christmas at the end of November, first weekend of December. All that stuff is at, you know where it's at. Douglovesmovies.com!
Starting point is 00:04:57 That's not how it works, sir. I was going to try to skip that part so you wouldn't do that. Then I thought, well, we've got to say it. It's douglosmovies.com. It's douglosmovies.com! Yeah!
Starting point is 00:05:13 All right. Prize bag. I'm holding one in my lap. Brought you guys some stuff. You know, I travel a lot, so it's got to be stuff that I can get on planes, or that I actually get on planes. This is Sir Kensington's condiments. With my compliments. They came with my burger on the plane.
Starting point is 00:05:40 I didn't want any of that shit. I was at Ellis Mania in Vegas last weekend and at one point they gave me a vodka soda in this beautiful plastic hard rock Las Vegas ... What do you call that? A cup? It's not a glass, it's plastic. The hotel here gave me earplugs so I don't know what that's about. It's usually a sign that you're in a hotel and there's going to be a racket outside. I think maybe the church across the street is probably going to ring their bells. A Douglas Movies t-shirt, a winner coupon from the Hard Rock in Vegas that's worth, I cashed out with 10 cents.
Starting point is 00:06:25 So that's, if you're in Vegas,'s worth, I cashed out with 10 cents. So that's if you're in Vegas, cash that in. Douglas Mooey sticker and if this isn't the last one, it's the next to last one, but I think this is the last one of the Christmas Peacemaker water
Starting point is 00:06:41 pipes. Yeah, you get one of those. Plus, stuff brought by all four of my tremendous fests here at the guests. Yeah, since this is a festival, we've got
Starting point is 00:06:58 terrific comedians here. Too many to choose from, but I picked four. Please give it up for Ramon Rivas, Jim Choo's, Billy Wayne Davis, and Amy Miller! It's so hard to get up here Hi Hello
Starting point is 00:07:28 Hello, hello, hello Hi Mike That's Billy Wayne He's funny, you'll like him Okay, I'll introduce everybody You know how this works, Amy They were saying before the show that we got to keep the mics close to our mouths
Starting point is 00:07:48 and far from the other mics. So do both those things if you can. All right. Because I'm already hearing some weird feedback. And also that was so funny that you guys started playing music when I introduced everybody, like they normally would in a comedy club.
Starting point is 00:08:01 But this is a podcast, so I don't know if I can afford whatever that song was. I don't know if they can. There wasn't enough of it for me to know what it was, but maybe we'll edit it out. I don't know. Maybe we'll put a long beep in there and then all the people that weren't here
Starting point is 00:08:17 today will be like, what the fuck was that long beep about? What's going on? All right, yes, but let's do them individually, starting with the gentleman that Amy already pointed out to everybody because he's a first-time guest. It's Billy Wayne Davis, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Do I show my gifts? What's that, Billy? Do I show my gifts? No, I'll get to it. Well, you know, the people here would like to see you drop your pants. Is that what you're asking? I would. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:49 I mean, I'm married, so let's do it. Okay. No, you can just hang on to your stuff for now. We're going to... We'll come back around in a little bit about that. Right now, we're just meeting you and welcoming you to the show. Oh, okay. Hey.
Starting point is 00:09:01 It's great to have you. It's good to be here. And you're performing this weekend here at the festival. Yes, tonight at 10. Oh, okay. It's great to have you. It's good to be here. And you're performing this weekend here at the festival. Yes, tonight at 10. Oh, okay. So everybody just hang out for four hours, five hours. Four hours. Yeah, four hours after my show's done, you can come check him out.
Starting point is 00:09:18 That would be nice. Yeah, that would be nice of you to do that. And there's so many great things to do out there downtown Cleveland. Drinking. So many. I just make sure that I don't have any change in my pockets when I leave the hotel.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Because I don't like lying to people. You're a terrible person. It's an old joke. I slipped in an old joke. But Billy Wayne Davis is going to be also a first-time guest. I wrote it down. He did Getting Doug with High. I should say he's about to do Getting Doug with High. And, yeah, and you can watch that on YouTube on Tuesday at 12.15 Pacific, so that'd be 3.15 here in Cleveland.
Starting point is 00:10:10 You should. On my YouTube channel. I bet I get really high on it. I got so high with you, I keep referring to it as if it already happened. Can't keep it straight, but that's what happens when you pre-tape for the second year in a row Amy Miller is here hi Doug
Starting point is 00:10:35 I feel like I can't do Doug Loves Movies in Cleveland without you thank you it's very flattering you always sit right there. You're always right next to me. I sit by you every time in every city. It's a very teacher's pet situation.
Starting point is 00:10:55 I'm so hungover, Doug. Yeah, what happened? My body's made of booze. You were like, you texted me, want to go out to a bar at I forget what time last night. And I was already drunk and back in my hotel room. I got drunk really fast last night.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Because we'll get into it more in a second, but I was at a Blink-182 concert. Cover band. Blink-182 cover band. Blink-182. Yes, that's what they're called. band. Link 180 True. Yes, that's what they're called. So why, how did you
Starting point is 00:11:29 get so hungover? How'd you do it? Well, it's a comedy festival and they give us free drinks and then I take them because it's my payment mostly. So you didn't go to another bar? I went to a party. I went to a party. We part bar? I went to a party.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I went to a party. We partied. We went to a party. I feel like I can't name any movie that I've ever seen ever right now. I feel crazy. Well, that's good. Finally, the guys that are competing against you
Starting point is 00:12:01 will have a chance. How dare you. Yes. Starting with, directly to Amy's left, it's Ramon Rivas II. Number two. Hello. El Segundo. El Segundo.
Starting point is 00:12:20 El Segundo. The second. Yeah. I speak Spanish. I was just thinking of the street. I'm like, which intersection? The man who put this entire festival together, everybody. Ramon Rivas.
Starting point is 00:12:36 There's a lot of other members of X. I don't know who did a lot of work, too. Well, people do. Yeah, a lot of people. But this is one time where the Hispanic dude gets all the white people's credit. And it's nice. It's very nice. Yeah, I was going to say, they were all clapping. That was good.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Good job, everybody. And what number year is this of this festival? This is the seventh year. It's been accidental, but I was taking Lisa Traeger, who had on the first night we went and ate Superior Fug, because that's kind of just a thing that's delicious. And we're walking in, and she's like,
Starting point is 00:13:10 I can't believe we've been doing this for eight years, because eight years ago I did a comedy stage at Ingenuity Fest when it was under the Detroit Superior Bridge. So the festival's like, this started at this weird underbridge area. And then now we're still kind of under... Who wants to come to a festival in my weird underbridge? Not a lot of women showed up that year. Not a lot of room either.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Just one or two dudes. Yeah. Just hanging in my underbridge. A lot of trolls. There's just one troll per bridge. Yeah, but he's just a lot of right-wing opinions. But yeah, so it's cool to slowly... There's comics who...
Starting point is 00:13:58 Lisa was at that first year. Critter's Cook, whose headline later tonight was at that first year. Seeing where they've gone from then, we were just kind of open mic-ing and doing random bar shows, so now we're just all doing cool stuff. Everybody's killing it.
Starting point is 00:14:13 More shows and also open mic-ing. We do still open mic, that's true. Yeah. We still do all the same. We still don't get paid at the same rate. But it's more fun. I don't know. It's nice.
Starting point is 00:14:31 It's cool. I was in Scotland all last month, and I came back, and it's just all cool audience members, friends, my family came. It was nice, man. I feel like I asked a follow-up question. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:14:44 I'm just real high, and I just kept talking. I feel like I was cool. I was in Scotland. And we got one more person to meet. It's his second appearance on the show, I believe. It's Jim Tooze, everybody. Hello. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:15:06 The first time you were on the show, I believe, was in the Women's Club in Minneapolis. Correct. And now here you are. You're back. And last night, in the lobby of my hotel, they had a stack of tickets to see a Weezer cover band and a Blake 182 cover band at the House of Blues.
Starting point is 00:15:26 And I was like, I got gotta at least pop in for that. Yeah. I'm way more into Weezer than Blink-182, but they're both good enough that I would be interested to see people pretending to be them. Or even just pretending, just taking their vibe and their songs, basically.
Starting point is 00:15:44 They don't do impressions of the guys. Well, Blink-180-True kind of did. Kind of. Because they're Blink-180-True. They're really truthful and into it. There's no nonsense. Billy Wayne Davis.
Starting point is 00:16:04 But I miss the I miss the Pinkertones They were solid I got there too late for that The Pinkertones were solid I went more primarily for the Pinkertones Sure And they were like really good musicians
Starting point is 00:16:19 That were playing Weezer And they were Like into it but too into it And Not in a Weezer. And they were, like, into it, but too into it. And not in a Weezer-into-it way, just a we're-on-stage kind of way. And I like Weezer a ton, so I need that.
Starting point is 00:16:35 You're in your own Weezer cover band. Yeah, I'm getting there. Ramones, you don't have to ask follow-up questions either. I want, like, a timid lead singer in a Weezer tribute band. Right, yeah, you want someone doing a little Rivers act. Right, and like Ramones said, I'm in a Weezer tribute band called The Undone Sweaters
Starting point is 00:16:59 with a bunch of other comics, and I didn't realize how unexciting it would be to see a Weezer tribute band when you're in one. Which Weezer are you in your band? I'm the Rivers. You're Rivers. The timid front man. The autistic front man.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Do you go in front of the mirror before every show and you're like, I can't do this? No. To get in character? No, I just play it. Are you dating half Japanese girls? Yeah. Goddamn them.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I had a huge problem with them for a while. All right, Billy. Yes. Now it's time. What'd you bring for the prize pick? Show us your gifts. I'm very excited. FYE is going the fuck out of business in Tower City, by the way.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's been going out of business for ten years. Yeah, but they're done in seven days is what I was told. So I might go back tomorrow. It'll still be there. Just to see what people have thrown about. Because that's what it is. There's just percentages everywhere and people being like fuck this
Starting point is 00:18:07 thanks for giving us the FYI on FYE you're welcome I have a superhero hack which is a Batman signal on a hacky sack. That's for when you're like, hey, I'm just gonna enjoy my life and not get laid, and I'm okay with it. It's got instructions on the back, too.
Starting point is 00:18:40 Can't use your hands, motherfuckers. In case any of you stoners are unfamiliar with how to hacky sack. It's like soccer, but not. It's soccer for people who can't run. I can just hear Christian Bale yelling at some hacky sackers. They can't run. You let it hit the ground.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I like that it's rainbow colored. Classic Batman colors. A rainbow. It's San Francisco Batman. What the fuck? I don't even know who the fuck? I don't even know who the fuck this is. It's Enzo Amore. It's who?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Great wrestler Enzo Amore. Really? It looks like if my nine-year-old was like, look at all the clothes I found. He was? Was recently kicked out. I gave him $20 at the dollar store. I'm like, fucking lose your mind, son.
Starting point is 00:19:52 He's really good at wrestling, but he recently raped somebody and then he got kicked out. I know, it's sad. He was my favorite. It was 60% off. It seems like it should be lower. I think that's just for the wood and the frame. So I got a frame of a rapist.
Starting point is 00:20:17 I'm sorry, you guys. I didn't know. All right, you guys. Enough with... Stop saying that word. I'm sorry.'re uncomfortable, Doug. I just don't want this show to get Me Too'd. Doug Benson's podcast loves rape.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Hey, everybody, my name's Doug, and I love rape. Stop it! Oh, so many bleeps and edits in this episode. Why is this episode five minutes long? I also have the receipt. Oh, perfect. That's what you get.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Pass that on down here. Thank you for bringing that, Billy. It was fun. Great job. Right? It's fun to shop for others. What do you got for us, Jim? I got some movies on
Starting point is 00:21:17 a DVD. That format's about to take off, I think. Yeah, yeah. I thought about getting a DVD player for whoever gets the DVDs, but I figured you'd all be pretty equipped. These are collections. This is the Laugh Out Loud three-movie collection.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Kevin James in Here Comes the Boom, Kevin James in Paul Blart Mall Cop, and Kevin James in Zookeeper. I hope somebody picked Kevin James today because I got three in the hopper. Okay, what are they? Wait, hang on a second. Amy, what are the three?
Starting point is 00:21:53 Here comes the boom. Malt cup. Oh, full title. Paul Blart. I don't remember the third one. I knew it. Jim, help her out. I'm going to give you another chance
Starting point is 00:22:10 if somebody gets Van Damme. We've got Assassination Games, Double Team, Maximum Risk, and Until Death on the Action Classics Unleashed four-movie collection. Four movies? Four damn movies.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And then I made a little trip to Mark's today. Is that a dude that everyone in Cleveland knows? Basically. It's like if a dude everyone knew stole bad groceries and sold them at a discount. I used to live here.
Starting point is 00:22:48 That's a good business plan. It is. I wanted to get something wearable, so I got a very Marx shirt that is... I guess it's theoretically an Indian shirt, but there's obviously some licensing issues. No, they just like baseball in Cleveland. It's just like any park anywhere.
Starting point is 00:23:14 I love watching the Cleveland baseballers. I love watching them play. I prefer it to your current mascot, just going to say. Yeah, I mean, I figured. It's a baseball. Keep it simple, you know? It's a little better than the Wahoo, but it's still a weird font.
Starting point is 00:23:32 That is capitalism, is what that is. We gonna make some money. So that's all I got, sorry. Do you think the Wahoo guy is continually happy or always asking somebody if there's something in his teeth? He's on drugs. He looks fucking happy.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Because his land got taken. He's like, I'm a stereotype, but I'm happy about it. I'm pleased as punch. Ramon, what do you got? I got a loaf of bread from our food we had yesterday. It's really good bread. My dad made pork shoulder and rice yesterday for all the comics, which was cool.
Starting point is 00:24:13 I got some hats from Terp House. I actually got three, so I'm just going to throw one out in the crowd right now. Actually, no one needs three hats, so I'm going to throw one more. So someone got some hats. Ramon, you seem a little extra reverb-y compared to everybody else. I agree. I also sound very mumbly. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:24:33 That's okay. Accidental Comedy recently priced the album to other members of the group, so there's a copy of that. And that's available afterwards on streaming sites. Turp House also put a shirt in here. There's an Accidental Comedy Fest shirt. There's an Accidental Comedy Fest poster and a poster of me looking sad. And eating a sandwich, right?
Starting point is 00:24:57 No, that one's... I'm out of that one. Oh, yeah, don't forget the sandwich. Bam! You have to build the sandwich yourself. Or bread, rather. It's good bread. It's really good bread. It's from Walmart. Just feels like something an old lady would hit an attacker with. Yeah, like a marble ride.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah, exactly. That's where Ramone got it. Don't take my marble ride. What do you got there, Amy? Okay, very good prize bag today. Somebody's going home with some stuff. Very good. I had a lot of adventures at the Dollar Tree.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Okay, first we got a wine glass that says promoted to cougar. It's fun. That's fun. Just a conversation piece. That means divorced, right? Do you need help? Do you need my help? No, I don't need your help.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Got a pack of mustaches. You can put them on your face. That's fun. Thank you. Okay, got some Sour Patch Kids in honor of Playboy Sean Jordan. We miss him so much. Okay. This is also the dollar store.
Starting point is 00:26:07 It's a framed certificate of achievement. It doesn't have a name on it yet. Donald Trump. You win. We'll put your name on it. I'll have everybody sign it. I accidentally filled it out yesterday, and so I wrote August,
Starting point is 00:26:23 and then I had to cross it out. But this is your official certificate for winning Doug Loves Movies if you do that. I mean, you're not going to do it with me. Not today. Please don't let me pick your name tag. And then, wait, I do need your help. Local Cleveland artist, Butt Coffin,
Starting point is 00:26:45 has donated three incredible paintings to the prize bag. You can sell these. I don't care. I'm selling them, actually. 100 bucks. Who wants it?
Starting point is 00:26:58 He's the best. You can check him out on Instagram at Butt Coffin. It was very nice of him to donate these paintings. Put them up in your house. Next to your certificate of achievement.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I got you a frame for that certificate. Everybody take a mustache and put it on and then pass it down. It's an all mustache episode. What if we already have a mustache? You're going to have to
Starting point is 00:27:29 put it on and then rip it off later. It's going to be great. Where's Doug? Where did Doug go? He took off. I got the Hitler one. Oh, I don't like fake mustaches. Hello, Burt Reynolds. You seem high.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Gotta get this weed to Texarkana. We got a long way to go. It's a short time to get there. How'd you put that on? It took me a little while to figure out how to get the adhesive off. You mean Dollar Tree mustaches aren't top quality? It takes a little effort, but see, Jim did it. That looks great.
Starting point is 00:28:20 That is a good-looking stache. If you don't move your top lip too much it won't fall off. I can't do it. I mean, I crouch. Look at that. His mustache is smiling. I'll be a daisy if you do. Are you going to tie a woman
Starting point is 00:28:44 to some tray tracks? I moved here because of tuberculosis I can't do it This is one of the more visually entertaining episodes Really wish you could see this Thank you so much Just like a woman Can't even put on a mustache.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Ramones looks good. Oh, fuck. It's really good. You got that at the Dollar Tree? I mean, most of them. Looks like you did. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm good. Oh, fuck. It's really good. You got that at the Dollar Tree? I mean, most of them. Looks like you did. Yeah. Oh, God, I'm good.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I got him good. Do you think these are like someone's former real mustache hairs? It's so soft. I like touching it. All right, Amy, you already said that your mind is mush today, but can you remember what the last movie you saw was? Oh, yes, the last movie I saw was Crazy Rich Asians. I saw it in Denver, where there are no no Asians I saw it at the Alamo
Starting point is 00:30:08 I wonder why they didn't spell like crazy stupid love like with a period after each word crazy what's the other one Rich I almost called them crazy stupid Asians I do not want that getting out there yeah you still said it I loved it.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Did you enjoy it a great deal? Oh, yeah. It was so whimsical, so fun. So many stand-up comics in that movie, too. What a gift. I like that Awkwafina. Oh, yeah. She's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:30:36 She's funny, and she's a great beverage. Thirsty. Nico Santos, a great Bay Area comedian was in that movie as Oliver the best I loved it, it was so fun I love love, I love whimsy I love Asians
Starting point is 00:30:58 just throwing that out there you love people that are crazy rich? No. Not usually. But I liked them. That's true. I loved it. I had such a good time. It was a really great romance and
Starting point is 00:31:17 some fun shit. Any mustaches? Not that I remember. I'm all into mustaches now. Ramon, recommend a movie that has a lot of mustaches. If you say Ocean's 8, I will murder you.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Super Troopers. Yeah, that would have a lot. I do know a movie Fuck yeah Amy's mustache makes me feel like She would give me an unfair quote on work You're literally talking about your own dad right now I know
Starting point is 00:32:00 Ramon's dad was just telling me how he hosed his old white ladies for his construction he doesn't hose them he's very good at his job and he makes very high quotes sometimes makes great pork also I think we're getting married
Starting point is 00:32:23 I mean this is how it starts. It's a mustache ceremony. What was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw, well, I went and re-saw 8th Grade, but I talked about that last time I was on the show. And I built it up too much, and the other person was like, that just made me feel anxious the whole time. I'm like, oh, yeah, that was good for me, though.
Starting point is 00:32:41 person was like, that just made me feel anxious the whole time. I'm like, oh yeah, that was good for me, though. But I saw Sorry to Bother You as well, which was really, really, really dope. Oakland's own. Did they seat according to who likes that movie? Yeah. Because you're all in one section. That was really...
Starting point is 00:32:59 Everyone over there is like, no. You guys were into it. Okay. Yeah, it was a visually stunning movie are you gonna see that one a second time um i it's interesting because the person i went to the movies with wanted to see either of those i was like between the two i would go see eighth grade again because sorry to bother you was a great film but as a movie the the end of it just kind of left me kind of like, hmm. Where eighth grade felt like a more like,
Starting point is 00:33:28 ah, good for me. Who's this person you went to the movies with? Just my friend from LA. Interesting. Yeah. Aren't details fascinating? When someone's as specific as Ramon is, it really, really makes the story sing.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Oh, look at that. All of your Twitter handles are on the big sign over there. I did request a line under mine. Yeah, why is yours completely underscored? I appreciate that. Holy shit, so much classier looking. It's an implied goddammit is what that is. Yeah, and the Y in Billy and the Y in Wayne
Starting point is 00:34:09 are both just defiantly crossing the line. Habitual line stuff with that Billy Wayne Davis. All right. I thought about it a lot. This is great. I'm just going to,
Starting point is 00:34:19 so I remember everybody that's up here, I'm just going to look this way. At Jim 2's, what was the last movie you saw? I just stayed up late re-watching Clueless a couple nights ago. What a great way to spend a late night. It was.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I didn't plan on it, but it just happened that way. It's crazy how good that movie is. And how it's not dated yet. Well, I don't know. Is there dated stuff in there? I mean, obviously nobody says as if for going postal anymore, but... Yeah. I mean, I guess like the Paul Rudd
Starting point is 00:34:56 romance thing. I had a stepsister and when that movie came out, we were of age for that movie and everybody's like, hey, what's wrong with that? And I'm'm like a lot is wrong with that have you been to Pornhub lately like my parents are still together so like I go to Pornhub I'm like none of this relates to my life at all yeah I got I got a lot of dysfunctions to choose from yeah Step Sister is not one of them.
Starting point is 00:35:26 But it's a good movie, regardless. Yeah, okay. That's what I meant. You're like, I don't want to fuck my Step Sister. I'm going to start a Weezer cover band. And that's never going to be dated ever. That old cliche
Starting point is 00:35:46 Billy Hey How's it going down there? I'm having a good time Do you have to get into your cart soon? Gonna go fix some toilets. Who needs a chimney sweep? You gonna untie that woman from the train tracks?
Starting point is 00:36:26 She knows what she did I gave everybody enough time to get to her That train barely runs What was the last movie you saw, Billy? The Hunted With Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro. I didn't expect applause for that. That is very weird.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Why did that happen? Because I like it, and it makes me feel good when I watch it. It's not like a feel-good movie, but it's just amazing. It's like if they weren't doing cocaine when they made Rambo. That's what that movie is. Ha, ha! It's just cool. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:13 There's pretty stuff in between the fight stuff. I like it. It's like, and when you're, and it was like one of the first movies I saw when I was like really stoned in college. And it's like, when you see, that's like the first time you see a movie when you're really stoned, you're That's the first time you see a movie when you're really stoned.
Starting point is 00:37:25 You're like, oh, this makes everything awesome. So I try to make it, think about that every time I watch it and it never works. Made it sad at the end. Sorry. Well, thank you, Billy Wayne Davis. Underlined.
Starting point is 00:37:47 You got to yell it. And don't forget that Ramon Rivas, his Twitter name is Blazer Ramon. Yeah. Amy Miller is an easy one. Pretty straightforward. Your dad had Ramon Rivas already. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:02 Pretty straightforward. Your dad had Ramon Rivas already. Gosh. No, but I'm the second, so it was just people kept thinking I was Italian, which they will with that mustache on you. Oh. And then it was just easier to remember. And then I like smoking weed, and I used to like wrestling, so I'm kind of pissed. I'm going to put somebody on some train tracks.
Starting point is 00:38:34 All right. Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin. Oh, sorry about that. Wow. Turn the house lights off. That's some serious feedback on that one. All right, so lots of great name tags.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Go ahead and pick who you'd like to play for. And while the selection process happens, we'll go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you in part by Espresso Monster. When you need an extra burst of energy but don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of smooth espresso and cream packaged in an 8.4 ounce can. It's just the right size and perfect for when you're on the go. Each can has three shots of espresso blended with European milk, just the way the Italians do it. At 150 to 160 mg of caffeine per can,
Starting point is 00:39:26 it's sure to give you the energy you need to conquer the day. Espresso Monster has two delicious flavors to choose from, espresso and cream, and vanilla espresso. Mmm. Produced in Denmark and the Netherlands, Espresso Monster is made with freshly brewed espresso coffee, hormone-free milk, and a unique energy blend that's complete with taurine and B vitamins. They sent a few cases to DLMHQ, and they did not stick around for very long.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Everyone seems to enjoy the taste and subsequent energy boost. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Back to the show. We're back. Whoa. Very thorough name tag. Do I owe you rent? I was like, look at those name tags.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Had you... So many name tags! Who are you playing for, Mario? Wait, me? You're like Witch Mario. Yeah, I feel like we're all Mario. This is like Super Nintendo, regular Nintendo. Yeah. I'm Luigi, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Oh, Billy found one with his own name on it. Yeah. I went the narcissist route, and I was like, that's my name. Kill Bill. My Kill Bill is what it says, but it's got your head on a terrible drawing of Uma Thurman.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Where I think she's bleeding. That drawing, yeah. It looks like putting your head on her made her bleed. That's something Tarantino would do to her, though. Well, made it sad again. Alright. Great job. Yeah, you can put that over there.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Jim, what do you got? Halloween 3, Season of the Rich. So many candies and boozes. So many. Honestly, I'm going to lose. I told everybody that, but I appreciated the product display at the bottom. It had a very movie theater feel.
Starting point is 00:41:45 And then there's a ton of people that are not me on this. You guys don't have to put T.J. on there. Amy's on there. A little tiny T.J. right next to an eagle. Jeff Tate.
Starting point is 00:41:58 I think this is Doug. So funny. I thought she might be here. Curtis is down there. Chris Gethard. Great. I could sub for him, right? Sure.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Natasha for some reason. And a bunch of booze. I know, but she's not here in Cleveland. No, but neither is most of those people. All right. Ramon, what do you got? I picked this one. It says Rambo First Bud.
Starting point is 00:42:33 And then I liked it because the bow fits in. It doesn't change the pronunciation of the movie. And then it also looks like a child and an adult made it at the same time. Which is, I empathize with this,
Starting point is 00:42:47 because this is what every creative endeavor I try to make looks like. There's just a blank square that size on their refrigerator until they bring that back. Until they bring that back home with all the goods. But Ramon might not win today, so we'll see. Amy? I'm playing for Jocelyn, who put sparkles on my body, and that's
Starting point is 00:43:12 why I picked it. What did the Jocelyn can lawyer? Okay, I've never heard of a movie, so I wasn't sure. And it's got Doug's face on it, and it says you have the alright on it, and it says, you have the all right, all right, all right to remain silent.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah, he was the Lincoln lawyer. He was the lawyer that worked out of his car. That was the premise of that movie. Are you being serious? Yes. Now I'm going to see it. Some premier open mouth acting. Alright, so you can toss that
Starting point is 00:43:59 down on the ground now if you want. You don't have to hang on to it. But I prepared several games for you guys today and down on the ground now if you want. You don't have to hang on to it. But I've prepared several games for you guys today and I'm pretty sure none of you have listened to the show.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Right? Not recently. Like us? Perfect. No, all these people out here in the audience don't listen to it. They just came on the chance it might be interesting. Cleveland. He'll give anything a shot.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Cleveland rocks. All right, so... So, I mean, I dance from place to place when I'm here because that's all I think about is that Drew Carey... Drew Carey liked to dance around town, so I'll do it. I studied dance from Ryan Stiles. Anyway, the reason I asked if you guys have been listening is because lately I've been playing a game
Starting point is 00:45:03 that if somebody listens to the show, they could probably actually study up and be good at this game. But I'm sure you guys haven't. It's called Swift Justice. You know, Taylor Swift's summer tour rages on. And I'm going to go see her again next weekend in Kansas City.
Starting point is 00:45:28 If you were wondering, why is he going to Kansas City so much? Just to see her. Here's how this game works. I'll read the plot description of a movie from the IMDb page of that movie. And then the first person on this stage to guess the correct title,
Starting point is 00:45:48 which is also the title of an unrelated Taylor Swift song, wins. If the description isn't enough, I'll give you more clues. Are you ready for it? Yes. Are you ready for it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I'm covered in glitter. How'd that happen? From the sign. Oh, no. They're called name tags. Your boyfriend's going to think you went to a strip club. Well, I'm with you, so... Probably. He's going to know I went to a strip club.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Doug looks like he owns a strip club right now. Yes, they dance for you. Dance harder. I'm so happy about this mustache because finally my fake ID is going to match my look. Okay. I already forgot how to play this game. I'm just going to read the description of the movie guess as often as you like,
Starting point is 00:46:53 but it's also the name of a Taylor Swift song. And a movie, right? I count on my guests not knowing the names of Taylor Swift songs. And it works every time. A young maiden in a land called Andalasia who is
Starting point is 00:47:13 prepared to be wed is sent away to New York City by an evil queen where she falls in love with a lawyer. That is correct. Enchanted is the correct answer. Oh, I'm drunk. I can't remember movies.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Starring my least favorite person, Amy Adams. That's just a joke. I think she's great. I was watching it in my hotel room today. There's a movie called Vanish that has Amy Adams in it and I watched for a little while. She plays a reporter but
Starting point is 00:47:47 Superman never came around so I was like, fuck it. Did anyone disappear? Yeah, it's about a girl who's disappeared and she's a reporter so she goes to cover the story. This is exactly the plot of Sharp Objects.
Starting point is 00:48:05 Is it? Oh! So were you watching Sharp Objects? You guys saw It, right? The movie It? The original? You know the girl, there's a bunch of boys and there's one girl, you know that one girl. She's in this movie Vanish and she plays young Amy Adams and it's pretty brilliant because
Starting point is 00:48:28 they do look like older and younger versions of each other. Great story. That was a 180 true story. And now, oh anyway, I was going to say Patrick Dempsey, James Marsden, Susan Sarandon. It's not a bad movie, that Enchanted movie. It's great. I love it.
Starting point is 00:48:53 And you get to go first, Amy, in our next game called ABCD's Nuts. There's only one mustache left, but I'm putting it in the prize bag because all you need is one, really, to have a great time. I'm going to have so much fun tonight. I ate lunch today in a bar.
Starting point is 00:49:16 I'm going to go back in the same bar and see if they know it's me. I'm a dog. You don't know me. I never have been here before. My favorite movie is Do the Right Thing. What? Okay, so... Do you guys know how ABC News Nuts works?
Starting point is 00:49:45 Oh, let me tell Billy about it. Hey, Billy. Hey. So Amy's going to go first, and then it's going to go to Ramon and Jim. So by the time it gets to you, I think you'll have a handle on what's happening. Okay. Each person down the row is going to get a different letter from a word that we're spelling. And then all you've got to do is take that letter, name any movie that begins with that letter,
Starting point is 00:50:05 and you're still in the game. Pretty simple. But if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time, then you win the whole thing automatically. And there's always, not always, but tends to be a theme between these titles. And the movie we're going to spell, or tonight we're going to spell or tonight we're going to
Starting point is 00:50:25 spell the movie, it's Barbarella. The Jane Fonda movie that I'll be interrupting next Friday in Kansas City. So, we start with Amy. The letter B. Name any movie that begins with the letter B. Bad News Bears.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Oh, yeah. I think the remake was called The Bad News Bears. I don't know, but I think you're right about the original beginning with B. I went with another classic, Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. All right, Ramone. Oh, your letter is A. He doesn't know how to spell.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Can you use it in a sentence? Airplane. Oh, with the exclamation point. Did you write down a movie for every letter? Uh-huh. Oh, okay. Yeah. You haven't played this game before?
Starting point is 00:51:21 Probably I have. Yeah. I went with A Wrinkle in Time. That's the lyric. I took all this extra facial hair. I think I look like Zach Galifianakis in that movie. So R is the next letter in Barbarella, Jim. So any movie that begins with R.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Revenge of the Nerds. Oh, you clearly haven't seen that movie lately, have you? No. Oh, boy. Yeah. There is an R word in that movie. Yeah. Straight up.
Starting point is 00:51:58 I remember that movie came out. We cheered when that happened. When the nerd had sex with a woman that thought she was having sex with somebody else. We're all like, ha ha, you tricked her. Into having sex that she would not have had with you. We didn't cheer. It's brutal. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:52:17 Some people did. No, I'm saying in theaters when that movie came out, it was like people thought that was a big win for the nerds. The nerds finally are getting in there. I hate nerds. Because they're so mean to the nerds through the whole movie.
Starting point is 00:52:33 I mean, they don't deserve that, but still. They're rapists. Also racists. Wait, so all the other people on campus were precogs
Starting point is 00:52:43 and they knew that the nerds were going to get out of control someday? So they started hating on them ahead of time? I love that they're like, I can't believe the black fraternity was nice to us. They're scary. It was every 80s movie.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Oops, we're in a black place. Watch out. Oh, they're nice? Cool. That's every 80s movie. I wish white people today would watch 80s movies, guys. People are less surprised by things. Wait, who's...
Starting point is 00:53:19 Jim R. Did you say one? Oh, Revenge of the Nerds. I opened up a dialogue for that one. Five minutes. I went with a very similar movie in its themes and storylines. Race to Witch Mountain. So B is the next letter for Billy. Name any movie that begins with letter B,
Starting point is 00:53:43 but you may notice a theme emerging from the titles I've said so far. Bad Boys 2. Oh. Way off theme, but still a great answer. I went with Beowulf.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Well, the first one is based off Beowulf, I think. Amy gets the letter A. You guys are all getting the letter that your name starts with. I don't know the theme yet, so I'm going to say Awakenings. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:26 I went with Annihilation. R for Ramon. Again with the... Can you repeat all the ones you've done so far? Or is that my allowed to ask? Beetlejuice, Wrinkle in Time, Race to Witch Mountain, Beowulf, Annihilation, and R for Kill It.
Starting point is 00:54:42 This guy over here thinks these are movies that are based on books. I read that Beetlejuice book three times and then he showed up. Official title is Handbook for the Recently Deceased. Faulkner's most underrated work. R is my letter.
Starting point is 00:55:10 What'd you say? R is my letter right now. Remember the Titans. I'm just, that just because I forgot all the things he just said. That's fine. I went with Ready Player One, which I watched on the plane yesterday because I enjoy that movie. That is based on the plane yesterday because I enjoy that movie.
Starting point is 00:55:26 That is based on the books. Yes, that one is. E is the next letter for Jim. Edge of Tomorrow. Ooh, otherwise known as Live, Die, Repeat. True. No, I went with the movie, I don't know if you've heard of this one, die, repeat. True. No, I went with a movie. I don't know if you've heard of this one.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Enchantive? Fuck. I was going to say that. L is the next letter for Billy. L.A. Confidential. Okay. I picked Legend, but they're both similar realms. You can do this, Amy. It's another L.
Starting point is 00:56:11 I do know the theme now, but I still don't have a good answer. You don't have an answer? I'm going to say love, actually. Okay. What's yours, Doug? Labyrinth. Okay. What's yours, Doug? Labyrinth. Okay, so, Ramon, I'm going to wind up to this for you so you can really knock this one out of the park.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Beetlejuice, A Wrinkled Time, Race to Witch Mountain, Beowulf, Annihilation, Ready Player One, Enchanted, Legend, Labyrinth. The letter A stands for... I bet there's at least ten people in this room that know what I'm driving at. I was excited because I thought I had L, and I was like, oh, I know, but then you said the thing already. What were you going to say for L? I was going to say legend, but you already said that.
Starting point is 00:57:09 I wasn't paying that much attention. Well, I was, but it's just hard to retain all the things. So we're at A. Yes. Yes, we are. And it's all... Okay. Yes we are And it's all Okay Arachnophobia
Starting point is 00:57:33 What? Oh That's not bad Supernaturally I don't know I try to go with all fantasy films. Big spiders aren't a fantasy? No. I mean, I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:57:56 I think there's a lot of them, but I don't think they're supernatural spiders, are they? People out here are scared of shit, man. I think it's like Jaws, but with spiders. I think... spiders are they people are scared it's like jaws but with spiders and people can't swim because of all the spiders are in the water I thought the theme was people entering another dimension which means awakenings does fit okay I just went with I just basically picked fantasy movies and the letter A of course stands for Avatar I like somebody in the back
Starting point is 00:58:29 yep I knew that shit that's the one I would have said didn't say the answer just said yep knew it alright so nobody officially won that one so Amy still gets to go first in our final game of the show. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I could have had it. I could have fucking had it. Yeah, man. And this particular game we're going to play that we usually end the shows with lately is called Last Man Stanton. Oh, no. Amy's already out So Amy's gonna go first
Starting point is 00:59:08 I'll go second I like to play along on this one Billy You're gonna be after me And then Jim and Ramone And we're gonna get the name of an actor or actress From a pre-selected audience member And then we're gonna take turns naming movies
Starting point is 00:59:24 That person's been in. If you can't think of one, or you say a movie that's not the correct title, you're out. But you also get one lifeline. You can go to the person whose name tag you chose one time... over the course of the show.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Amy's ready to go to hers. Oh, I know that guy. I was just waving to him. Oh, you were just waving at a guy? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I know that guy. I was just waving to him. You're just waving at a guy? We know each other? Sorry. I said lifelines and you were like, I thought you were just acknowledging yours.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Just another guy. He does not get to help you. Just your lifeline. Where's your lifeline? Right here. Jocelyn. Hi, Jocelyn. You come home with a mustache and glitter on you. He's going to have no idea where you were. With Doug.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Air show got crazy. Okay, so the pre-selected audience member that I have is, where is Tony B. Greasy? Yikes. How greasy are you, Tony? It's Greasy. I'm Greasy O.V. Why is your name, is that really your last name, Greasy? No, it's kind of a nickname thing.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Oh, it's a nickname. Kind of. Wow, I don't know. I can't imagine why someone would get a nickname Greasy? No, it's kind of a nickname. Oh, it's a nickname. Kind of. Wow, I don't know. I can't imagine why someone would get a nickname Greasy. Take a shower, Tony. Yeah. Greasy, not Greasy. It's a little different.
Starting point is 01:00:55 What's that? Greasy, not Greasy. Like the way Pauly Shore would say it. Greasy, Greasy. It's not far enough different if you have to explain it. Greasy? It's not far enough different if you have to explain it. Greasy! All right, Tony. I'll just call you Tony.
Starting point is 01:01:16 What's your suggestion for the game today? Cheech Marin. Cheech Marin. All right, now this is the part where at first I say, fuck, that's not a good one. But then, I mean, I love Cheech,. All right, now this is the part where at first I say, fuck, that's not a good one. But then, I mean, I love Cheech, of course, and obviously he's been in some movies, for sure. He's definitely a person that's done a lot of movies,
Starting point is 01:01:37 and we can probably think of a lot of them, but I feel like the panel might be a little worried about it. Very worried. That's why we have backup. It's a good thing Cheech showed up today. Cheech has been on the show. We should do it when he's on. That'd be fun.
Starting point is 01:02:06 He forgets. He loses. It'd be fun. Just bring some real pothead nerds in there and let him... He'd probably win because he seems like he would remember stuff. Chong, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Chong might forget a thing or two. His name's not Chong I'm sorry Full title, Ampersand Chong Alright, where is But thank you for that He will definitely be in the mix But we're going to get a second name Where is Hybrid but thank you for that, and he will definitely be in the mix, but we're going to get a second name. Where is Hybrid X Heaven?
Starting point is 01:02:49 Hey, man. What's Hybrid X Heaven mean? You don't know? Is it a weed thing? Oh, you should look into it. Sounds like an AIM screen name. Yeah, Hybrid. You have a Prius?
Starting point is 01:03:03 Nice Prius? Nice Prius? You have a Prius? Nice Prius? Can you reveal your actual name? Rich. Heaven's better. I can't see great from here, but I'm pretty sure you're not crazy or Asian.
Starting point is 01:03:24 You know who is? Chong. He's half Asian, right? Okay, so what's your suggestion, Rich? Oh, wow, one of the biggest ones ever, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's got a million titles, and Amy loves them all. She probably can't get enough of those Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. I love them. Can we get double points for Cheech Marin movies and one point for Schwarzenegger movies?
Starting point is 01:03:51 That is an interesting way to approach the game, Ramone. And we're not doing it. Damn it. Can we set this up so I can win? That's a really good impression. We've known each other a while. Because it's, you know, it's not a game where you get points. Oh, gosh.
Starting point is 01:04:21 It's a real revamp if you're giving out points. No, it's an elimination game. But you can stick with whichever one of those you think you'll be best at. Schwarzenegger or Cheech. And, yeah, so, Billy, you got that? Yeah. It's the films of either of those gentlemen. Starting with Amy, Billy, you got that? Yeah. It's the films of either of those gentlemen. Starting with Amy, what do you got?
Starting point is 01:04:50 Born in East L.A. Mm-hmm. Okay. I mean, if we're going to... This is how we're going to do this. I'm going to go It's so weird when there's so many to choose from and you're just going
Starting point is 01:05:11 I'm going to say Up in Smoke Get that one out of the way Billy Nice Dreams Full title please True Lies Nice Dreams. Full title, please. True Lies. You get how this works. Final answer. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:05:45 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:05:53 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:06:01 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I, wait. Wait a second. Oh, that's good. Ramone? Tin Cup. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:15 I want to see Tin Cup and Kindergarten Cup. Amy? Terminator. What? Full title Terminator 1 Terminator 1 They went back and renamed it
Starting point is 01:06:35 Is it not called Terminator? There's more to it than that Twins Yeah Thank you Billy There's more to it than that. Twins. Yeah. Thank you, Billy. No problem. I'll set a precedent.
Starting point is 01:06:50 I don't care. I never tried that before. The Terminator. Fuck you, Doug. Billy. Terminator 2 Judgment Day. Yeah. Some of us call it T2
Starting point is 01:07:15 like we're gonna climb it. Jim. Looks like you have an adult-sized bangaroo. Do you have a headache or something? Brain freeze? No, I was blanking on the fucking name of it and I don't want to call my lifeline yet.
Starting point is 01:07:39 That would be pretty embarrassing. I know. That's why I don't want to do it. I warned them. I warned everybody that I would lose and here I know. That's why I don't want to do it. I warned them. I warned everybody that I would lose, and here I am. Fuck. I think you should call your life on it. Cheech Marin or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Together they're in
Starting point is 01:07:55 500 movies. I know. I just... Clueless is still in my head, and... Let me think. No, they're not in that one. Cheech screen tested for that, though. For the Paul Rudd. I got it. Jingle all the way. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:08:13 There we go. I knew it would come if I just panicked for 30 seconds. I've got the facial hair of the Clueless Girl's dad. What do you mean? Dan Hedaya, yeah. Okay, Ramon. Predator.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Duh, Predator. Ramon. It's just called Predator. I know. You didn't know. I was goofing. I didn't know. I know. I knew it.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Okay. What do you got? Why are you whispering at me, Ramon? I can't stop playing with my stupid mustache. The Expendables. Why did you boo? People, sometimes they boo just because they don't care for the movie or whatever.
Starting point is 01:09:09 Sometimes they boo because they know that I'm about to say The Expendables 2. Colon, still expendable. Billy? Commando. Okay. Alyssa Milano. Remember her? Yes.
Starting point is 01:09:32 There's no bonus points. It's just nice to think about her. Remembering the child actors doesn't get you anything here. Jim? What's that one where he's the governor of California? That's not how this works. This isn't Jeopardy. You don't answer with a question.
Starting point is 01:09:53 No, I'm just talking. I'm totally blanking. You're showing us your work? Yeah. Okay, so... I know, that was the joke. I said the one where he was governor of California. Oh, real life.
Starting point is 01:10:07 You guys are having a lot of fun. I don't know if you can tell from my eyebrows, I'm very angry. Do you want to go to your lifeline, Ramon? I have to. His name's Jim. Yeah. Yeah. We both have really dynamic voices.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Do you want to use Jim's lifeline, Ramone? No, I want a tougher one. All right, Jim, go to your lifeline, but also don't forget that, you know, as we move forward... I know. ...some other titles might remind you of other titles. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:10:44 Well, they haven't yet. I mean, there's one that was just so there for the taking that I don't know why you haven't thought of that. But I don't know full titles. Don't tell him. T3. I can't get it wrong. I can't get it wrong.
Starting point is 01:10:57 Don't get it wrong. Go to your lifeline. I need my lifeline. Rich, where are you at? Where's your lifeline at? Rich. Oh, God, thank you. Total Recall.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Yes. Well, you know, that's... You couldn't recall it, could you? It's hard to remember. I couldn't recall it. God, thank you. Total Recall. So good. Yes. Well, you know, that's... You couldn't recall it, could you? It's hard to remember. I couldn't recall it. It's hard to have Total Recall
Starting point is 01:11:09 about Total Recall. It's the one with the three tits, right? Yeah, it is. Full title. That's the logline of the movie. The one with the three tits.
Starting point is 01:11:26 That is how they sold it. That movie's got three boobs. Sharon Stones and Arnold. Okay, now it's Ramone's turn. Conan the Barbarian. Mm-hmm. Amy? Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Still up in smoke. We're still doing it. Up in smoke, too. Jocelyn? That's interesting. They never did that. They never did a movie where the title was up in smoke too Jocelyn Hmm
Starting point is 01:12:08 Oh we're going to Lifeline Maggie Oh Maggie Maggie yeah I haven't even seen that movie It's a zombie movie That stars Arnott
Starting point is 01:12:20 I don't know what that is That's a whole list Arnold Schwarzenegger Wow But you didn't make that list You're cheating Jocelyn I don't know what that is. That's a whole list. Wow. But you didn't make that list. You're cheating, Jocelyn. That means you're cheating.
Starting point is 01:12:32 I know. I know. It does mean I'm cheating. I don't feel good about it. Well, you're still in. Okay. I'm going to go with, there's so much so much out there but I'm going to say
Starting point is 01:12:50 in honor of Ramon Revis II Jr. Aww. And I say that because Ramon is a pregnant man. Congratulations. Billy?
Starting point is 01:13:12 From dusk till dawn. Oh. Nice. Thank you. Cheech still knows that whole pussy speech that he says in that movie. He is not shy about sharing it Jim I fucking hate this
Starting point is 01:13:35 alright let me just I just gotta point something out cause it's driving me crazy we said the expendables we said the expendables 2 the expendables 3 something out because it's driving me crazy. What's up? We said The Expendables. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We said The Expendables 2. The Expendables 3. That's correct.
Starting point is 01:13:51 Yeah. Come on. What's your favorite part of that movie, Jim? Oh, where they kind of arcs. You think they're expendable, but then they're not. You keep finding that over and over again in that series. It's still...
Starting point is 01:14:08 Still not as expendable as we thought. I can't get rid of any of these guys. I kept adding guys every movie. All right. Ramone? Desperado. Okay. That was good. That was a gamble, too.
Starting point is 01:14:33 You didn't know. No, I knew. You just went with the prequel with what I said. It wasn't a prequel. Desperado was the prequel to fucking Dust Till Dawn. What? Amy? From Dust Till Dawn 2.
Starting point is 01:15:01 Tuesday. Is that not a movie? I have no idea. I think maybe there might have been something called that. But there's more words after the two, probably. And I don't know if Cheech is in it. Okay, well, I guess I'm out. Well, hang on a second here.
Starting point is 01:15:23 Let's not be too hasty. T3. Terminator 3. Okay. I like what you're doing. Thank you. Terminator 3. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:42 The Edge of Reason. Oh my God, that's such a good... So close. Because it's four, that's such a good... So close. Because it's four words that just don't matter. I mean, it's a little bit more descriptive than your version. Let me see how I can get you to say this. You don't have to. I'm fine losing.
Starting point is 01:16:02 You're too fine with losing. Somebody said something about my eyebrows. He was probably in the bathroom when they said, don't yell out during the show. He's just an idiot. Very annoying. Your stash is going to pop off. What's your favorite, Amy? What's your favorite Disney animated movie?
Starting point is 01:16:36 The Little Mermaid. What was the one that came out right after that? Aladdin? No. Terminator 3, Aladdin. In between. after that. Aladdin?
Starting point is 01:16:42 No. Terminator 3, Aladdin. In between. Beauty and the Beast. No, what's the other one? Lion King.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Yes, correct. Terminator 3. The Lion King. No, Svenja. I don't know those words. Okay. Terminator 3.
Starting point is 01:17:06 The Lion King is correct. Cheech Marin is in The Lion King. Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah. Good job, Amy. He was one of the... He's in The Lioners. Amen.
Starting point is 01:17:22 It's like him and Whoopi. He's also in a great movie called After Hours. Billy? Pumping Iron. Yes. That's good. It's probably his best acting performance. Okay, Jim.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Learn anything over all that time? I might be making this title up Oh I love it Terminator 3 Rise of the Terminator So close Can I help him? He wants to steal No it might come back around
Starting point is 01:18:04 Son of a bitch. You're so close. That wasn't right, Jim. Cheech and Chong scared stupid. Don't you make fun of Ernest. Cheech and Chong saved Christmas. Only Chong goes to jail. Only Chong goes to jail.
Starting point is 01:18:26 Great documentary. Don't you make fun of Ernest. He's the best. I mean that. Alright, so Jim's out. Ramon, you got anything? You got any gas in the tank? Red Sonja.
Starting point is 01:18:46 What'd you say? Red Sonja. It's like he was pretty much the dude he was in Conan. He just didn't have a shirt on. Oh. Yeah. That's all his movies. Anything Amy?
Starting point is 01:19:10 nothing in there alright you did great though thank you thank you so much oh here's an Arnold Schwarzenegger one that's fun to pull out in these situations around the world in 80 days. Had no reason to exist, had no reason for him to be in it.
Starting point is 01:19:33 What? Billy! Fuck. You got this, Billy. What? Why are you yelling out the answer? Oh, is he your love life? At that point, yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:50 Oh, shit, sorry, I missed that. He's a well-behaved heckler. That is a... He was called upon to scream. But I think he should just scream that every now and then for no reason. Just, raw deal! And everybody's like, mm-hmm, I know.
Starting point is 01:20:16 I say raw deal. Okay. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Eraser. Eraser. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Ooh. He shoots a crocodile and says, and then he goes, your luggage. He was hoping that caught on so we could have a luggage line. Okay, I'm going to go with that Schwarzenegger movie that he did with
Starting point is 01:20:57 Jackass, Johnny Knoxville. The Last Stand. Oh, yeah. Fuck, is it my turn? Yeah. Raw deal, huh? Yeah, it is. What's the one that Cheech and Arnold did together?
Starting point is 01:21:23 What's the one that Cheech and Arnold did together? I want to say Kindergarten Cop 2 First Grade. Why haven't they done that? Arguably his greatest movie. It's weird they haven't done a sequel to that one. So you're out there, Billy? I believe so, yeah. Alright, I'm going to call it Ramon Rivas is
Starting point is 01:21:51 our winner! Come on, man! And for the record, it was Cheech and Chong in Nice Dreams. Oh, that's a Tyler Perry bullshit right there. What's this?
Starting point is 01:22:14 Is it Cheech and Chong or the Corsican Brothers? Uh-huh, and they were in Yellow Beard, I think. Cheech and Chong's Chocolat. Yeah. I would like to see that. Cheech and Chong's To Kill a Mockingbird.
Starting point is 01:22:37 But what did we miss, you guys? Last Action Hero. Last Action Hero, of course. I fucking saw that movie in Cleveland. I'm sorry. I didn't pick it. Oh, yeah. It's Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines. That's the one I fucked up.
Starting point is 01:22:54 Oh, Batman Forever. Oh, Batman Forever. No, no. Batman and Robin. Batman and Robin. You were wrong. God damn, y'all. Love Arnold Schwarzenegger. So sorry, Rich. Running Man, of course. Red Heat.
Starting point is 01:23:09 Raw deal. Is this what Price is Right is like? This is terrifying. What about Cheech, though? More Cheech movies? Oh, yeah, Cheech and Chong's next movie. Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Oh, yeah, yeah, and Chong's next movie. Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Nash Bridges. The movie. Machete and Machete Kills, maybe? I hope everyone's remembering. He's in some of the Spy Kids movies, I bet. Yeah, those are hard as fuck to remember the titles. But yeah, great job, everybody. Let's hear it for Ramone. Let's hear it for Ramone.
Starting point is 01:23:54 Let's give Ramone a chance. I'm drunk. From yesterday, though. Where's that person you were playing for, Rambo? Rambo. Where's Bo at? Come get all your shit, Bo. Get your shit off the stage.
Starting point is 01:24:09 We got a show to do. Oh, if you meet me outside, I'll sign that certificate of achievement. Put your name in it. Oh, I love it. He's got an Accidental Comedy Festival shirt on. Good job. Thanks, Bo.
Starting point is 01:24:23 We did it. Real quick, you guys. let's do some plugs. Do you have anything you want to plug, Amy? I have so many things I want to plug. Okay. September 5th in Portland at the Paris Theater. September 6th in Seattle at the Central Cinema. What's that movie theater called?
Starting point is 01:24:43 What? Central Cinema. Central Cinema. Okay, that movie theater called? What? Central Cinema. Central Cinema. Okay, thank you, Billy. September 14th, I'll be in Austin somewhere. September 17th, I'll be at the Secret Group in Houston, co-headlining with Chris Cubis. Also, please listen to my podcast, Who's Your God?
Starting point is 01:25:02 And can I say one more thing? Yeah. It's long. It's not long. Tomorrow is my eighth comedy anniversary. Yay! Thank you so much. And I love you guys.
Starting point is 01:25:15 I love your fans. They're pretty nice, right? They're so nice. Thank you for coming to shows all over the country. You guys are the best. And you make sure that I can keep doing this job. And what if I cried? I'm going to cry.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Oh. No, I'm not going to cry. But it's nice. Well, thank you. Best fans ever. I'm glad you spent your anniversary here in Cleveland. That's wonderful. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:38 Well, I'm going back to L.A. in the morning. She's going to leave tomorrow, Ramone. Do you want any of this shit that was on the name tag, Jim? Yeah, I feel like that's why you picked it. Oh, nice. Yeah, get those Tito's off of there. Ramone's going for a Kit Kat. And do whatever you want with these.
Starting point is 01:25:53 Take whatever you want to do. I just need the thing on the back. Can I just rip TJ's face off of it? Yeah. Oh. Ramone, what do you got to plug? Oh. Ramone, what do you got to plug?
Starting point is 01:26:10 I'm going to be headlining the Punchline in Sacramento on September 16th. Nice. I'll be there a couple days before that with Dan Soder, who's super cool. And then that's it. So please hire me to do comedy. Or you can just go to my website, blazerramon.com, to see all the weird shit I do. Right on. Jim Tews. I'll be in Burlington, Vermont with Chad Daniels September 27th, 28th, 29th.
Starting point is 01:26:42 Where? What? Burlington, Vermont. Thank you. And then I'll be in Denver, Boulder, and Fort Collins the first weekend of November. And I have a podcast called Quitting Comedy. And you can listen to that.
Starting point is 01:27:00 I talk to comics about what they would do if they quit. Because we all fantasize about it. I'm ready comics about what they would do if they quit. Because we all fantasize about it. I'm ready to flee the country. Yeah. I'm another comedian. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a regular guy.
Starting point is 01:27:19 I'm a regular guy who touches his mustache a lot. I don't love movies. Ladies, is it okay if I toss my mustache in front of you? Billy, what do you got? What's coming up for you? I have an album out live at Third Man Records.
Starting point is 01:27:36 It's available fucking anywhere. Thank you, one person. It's very good. That does check out with album sales. That checks out. Also, I helped on the Sasha Baron Cohen show so watch that
Starting point is 01:27:50 it's one of the funniest things I've ever fucking done so and then just google my name to see if I'm coming anywhere near you oh god
Starting point is 01:28:01 it's a terrible way to say that it's a terrible way to say that right yes they that counts as consent, right? They Googled it. You Googled it. I'd hope I would know. You Googled it.
Starting point is 01:28:12 You get it. Sorry, everybody. All right. I'm going to be doing two shows on Halloween at the Punchline in San Francisco. And thanks again to everybody for coming out this afternoon. To all my guests, Billy Wayne Davis, Jim Tews, Ramon Rivas II, and Amy Miller. You guys can just stay there for a sec,
Starting point is 01:28:31 because I'm just going to say three shitheads and get the F out of here. Is the festival going to happen again next year? Yeah, man. Quit trying to give me your name tag. You won. Oh, shit. My bad. Although, actually, Kill Bill didn't write a shithead, so I'll do both. All right.
Starting point is 01:28:48 As always, my neighbor is a shithead for leaving passive-aggressive notes on my car. I don't even own a car. What is going on? Anthony Precourt is a shithead for trying to relocate the Columbus crew. Hashtag save the crew. All right, get ready with that end theme. And thank you again to Hilarities. Money bail drug laws are a shithead.
Starting point is 01:29:21 What does that mean, Jocelyn? I mean 100%, guys. Play that song! When you need energy on the go and you don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of espresso and cream made with
Starting point is 01:29:36 freshly brewed espresso coffee, hormone-free milk, and a unique energy blend complete with taurine and B vitamins. Each can has three shots of espresso and comes in vanilla espresso or espresso and cream flavors. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Do it! Or, yeah, okay. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.ie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky
Starting point is 01:30:08 there's no room in his heart for you

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