Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Josh Wolf, Michael Dowse and Dustin Ybarra guest
Episode Date: July 14, 2019Live from Flappers in Burbank, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Josh Wolf, Michael Dowse and Dustin Ybarra to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a... free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby Sidney Seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
It's Doug of Boobies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again, and it's been a little while,
from Flappers in Burbank, California.
Burbank, California!
So I have a table next to me on this show, generally,
because I have to write down stuff and look at my script,
and they've covered this table with stuff I don't want.
We've got some lovely crudités and a bunch of cookies.
And I'm not here to eat.
I'm here to do a show.
So I guess I'll just leave them there and not eat them.
I feel bad.
Does anybody like crudités?
Nope?
Okay.
I'm going to keep it then what's the date
it's Saturday July 13th
2019
it's a hot one out there
not as hot as I thought it was going to be
but I hope your name tags
didn't melt
let's see them you guys
I know you brought some
see it's already better than over at UCB.
Inside Llewyn Davis, did you change anything?
Your name is Sid?
In Sid?
Llewyn Davis?
All right, yeah, it's in there.
So it's legit.
What's that Bad Times at El Royale?
What'd you change that to?
Coco.
Coco Times?
Coco at El Royale.
Coco at El Royale.
No Bad Times with Coco.
And there's a really interesting Trey Galleon is an action hero poster,
and it says Galleon at the bottom of it. Is that your name dude? You're the
indestructible Sam. Okay but that posters really show everybody that's a real Trey
Galleon focus poster right there. Good job Sam. All right we got this stool. Things are moving around.
What's happening?
Your table.
No, but this is a table.
Are you okay with that?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just all this.
I was just surprised by all this stuff on it.
Because, you know, I mean. he's great he was a roadie for uh he worked with yes for 40 years he never said no to anything
probably just walked out that door and is never coming back here again didn't want my table brought him an extra table uh doug plugs and thanks for bringing those name
tags you guys uh doug loves movies is back in san diego this kicking off Comic Con with the show
at the American Comedy Company.
I think that's almost sold out, so we're
probably going to add one on
Saturday in the afternoon.
Like 3 o'clock, I think.
Doug Lozman is back in
Los Angeles at the UCB Theater on
Tuesday, July 23rd, and
returns to the Punchline in San Francisco
on Saturday, July 27th, and returns to the Punchline in San Francisco on Saturday, July 27th
at 4.20.
For all my dates and deets and links, go to
DougLowe'sMovies.com
That's DougLowe'sMovies.com
Yeah!
Wallet!
Shh!
That was a good one, you guys.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief tweets about movies.
Cade underscore Jackson tweeted,
early reports are saying Hobbs and Shaw
is the hottest thing on wheels
since the theory of everything.
This has been Tweet Relief,
slow burn edition.
I had to look at it for a second.
It was The Theory of Everything.
What was...
Wheels.
Dugouts.
Time for a dugout.
To everyone who came to my Dabs Day show
last Wednesday at Laughs in Tucson,
we might just have to do it again at that place next year.
Let's check out the prize bag.
Also, I guess I should have let him keep that table
because that's where this would be if we had that table.
I brought the nice folks at Kettle Chips,
I brought the nice folks at Kettle Chips, unprovoked, just sent me a box of Kettle Chips and big bags.
This is the Honey Dijon flavor because there's no way I'm going to like that.
But they got lots of flavors that I do like and they say that they make a natural promise.
No GMO, gluten-free, no artificial preservatives, and zero grams of trans fat.
Yeah, trans.
So anyway, I've got a whole ton of that stuff, so I might as well put some in the prize bag.
Speaking of a ton of things, also IFC,
they have a new movie out with our friend Mark Maron called Sword of Trust,
and they have an ad in this show,
but they also sent along a whole bunch of copies
of their movies and stuff,
so I'm going to give those out sparingly
probably over many episodes,
because they sent me a ton of shit,
including Marc Maron's book, Attempting Normal,
and a copy of The Babadook on, I guess this is a DVD, right?
Blu-ray?
Something.
So that's going in the prize bag.
Also, got a bunch of stuff from patreon because i've got a patreon for
getting dug with high uh 420 club uh at patreon.com uh so they sent me a bunch of stuff
including this really cool water bottle it says patreon on it so that's kind of weird. And then I've got a pin of my face from rockandpins.com
and a hat that says the bud card on it.
And so I assume that's a weed reference.
And somebody gave it to me somewhere.
Basso Botanicals.
All of that plus stuff brought by my four guests. I'm very
excited to have them all here. Please give it up for Dustin Ibarra, Amy Miller,
Michael Dowse, and Josh Wolfe.
These chairs are tight together.
You know what? Actually... Very cozy.
Yeah, this is a...
Maybe we can rearrange a little.
It's a super cozy...
Yeah, you know what?
Just pull that table out.
If we take that one out from between there, yeah.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Those bottles are like bowling pins. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Oh, no. Oh, no. Those bottles are like bowling pins.
Jerry, Jerry.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, we're really making room.
Oh, Amy's throwing the crudite on the ground.
I would never.
This is crazy.
You know, you got to get skinnier guests.
Josh is the only one with a tight little body.
Yeah.
I know.
I'm over here.
By the way, I like that you didn't say skinny. You said tight little body. Oh, yeah know, I'm over here flat. By the way, I like that you,
no,
you didn't say skinny,
you said tight little body.
Oh yeah,
I've been looking at it.
Yeah,
keyword there is little.
I'll take that word
tight,
tight little body.
I like that.
And I've got a very loose body.
Oh,
I'm flippin'.
Kind of does its thing,
does what it wants to do.
I got a couple of flappers, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, man.
My body isn't tight, it likes to spend.
Let's meet our guests.
I got a couple of flappers.
A couple of flappers.
Yeah, let's meet our guests individually,
starting with the flapper on the end.
It's Amy Miller, everybody.
Oh, thank you.
Hi.
Hi, Doug.
Super popular guest on the show.
Oh, that's so nice.
Thanks.
Well, you have the best fans.
Thank you for coming out to Burbank.
Of course.
My pleasure.
It's a perfect day for it.
Love an afternoon on a Saturday show.
Love it.
And you just close the curtains. It feels like
nighttime. It's true. I'm going to ride
this right through to 2 a.m.
It feels like nighttime
in the 1920s.
That's why. And I don't like
that because prohibition is really
ruining the
profits here.
They really, they took the 20s theme too far.
Who'd like a sarsaparilla?
I'm not even sure.
Two drink minimum.
I'm not even sure if I can vote yet in this place.
I don't think you can.
I cannot.
Sorry, lady.
Sorry, lady.
Yeah, I'm going to take you downtown, see?
Come on down there.
Directly to Amy's left is the flabby comedy,
Augustin Ibarra.
That's the name of my special, flabby comedy.
I want to do that, man.
Aren't you opening up a club called Flabbers?
Flabbers?
First there was Fluffy, and now there's
Flappy. Yeah, what's up
guys? Flappers,
man. Flappy!
Oh, thank you.
I love
Dustin has a really unbridled enthusiasm
for any new project. I do.
I get excited over everything, man.
I like that about you.
To Dustin's left is Josh Wolf, everybody. Oh, man. I like that about you. To Dustin's left is Josh
Wolf, everybody.
Hi. Thank you for
having me. Thank you for
being here. This is
obviously a weekend that you're in Los Angeles.
You're not out on the road somewhere.
I want to ask a question about
the game, if I may.
Looking at who's on the panel,
give me what percentage
of chance do you think I
have to win
today? Well, we've got
a wild card in the guest that I
haven't gotten around to introducing yet
individually.
Don't know where he's at.
Maybe we'll ask him.
I can't
wait to meet him.
But of the remaining three of you, I think it's a real toss-up.
It's anybody's game.
Oh, that's exciting.
I think you're at a pretty similar skill level.
I get lucky sometimes.
Here, I'll put this here.
And joining us for the very first time, everybody, the aforementioned wild card, it's Michael Dowse, everybody.
Hello, everybody. Nice to be here.
Director of one of my favorite films ever. It's called Goon.
And also just now in theaters, he's the man behind the motion picture Stuber, starring our friend Kumail Nanjiani.
behind the motion picture Stuber starring our friend Kumail Nanjiani
who, yeah,
who on this very stage, Michael,
was on an episode of this show
with Marc Maron
and they did not get along.
Really?
Yeah, it was a little rough.
But in a fun way.
Are you saying not everybody
gets along with Marc Maron?
I am saying that.
And I'm also saying that Kumail NanJohnny doesn't take shit from shit.
Yeah.
Amen.
So you get those two together.
Yeah.
And it was just insults right out of the gate.
And compare that to today where everyone is pretty nice except for the fat jokes.
Yeah.
We saw those coming, though.
I knew it.
I see them coming with every meal.
This isn't going to help with the fat joke situation.
There'll be some more material.
I do love how there's a plate of cookies next to some vegetables.
Make up your fucking mind. You know what I mean?
So let's talk about the movie
a little bit here. It's Stuber because
Kumail plays a character named Stu
who drives an Uber. Yeah.
And he gets involved with Dave Bautista
who is a cop
who has trouble seeing
temporarily. Yeah, he has
laser guy surgery. He gets out of his
laser surgery and wants to solve a crime.
The day his white whale comes in, he has LASIK eye surgery, which forces him to commandeer Kamal's Uber.
Yeah, and then just crazy comedy stuff.
Crazy mayhem.
Very funny.
Violence.
Some very violent moments in there.
Very violent moments.
Congratulations on that.
Thank you, buddy.
Yeah, I mean, I got it when I was watching a hockey movie, but, you know.
Why stop there?
Exactly.
It's L.A.
It's L.A.P.D.
Let's take the violence out into the world.
Yeah, exactly.
Take it off of the ice.
But, yeah, that movie, like I said, is in theaters.
It's in theaters right now.
Right now.
Literally right now.
Like, what are you guys doing here?
It's right there. The movie in theaters right now. Right now. Literally right now. What are you guys doing here? It's right there.
The movie theater
is right next door.
I'm going to sit here
and watch all of you.
He's going tomorrow.
We're going tomorrow.
And we actually tested
the film right there.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
In Burbank.
AMC Burbank?
Hell yeah.
Tested great.
Through the roof, right?
Yeah.
I saw it at South by Southwest
and people were crazy for it.
It was super fun.
Can I ask,
should I smoke weed before I go or no?
Definitely.
Okay.
Definitely.
All my movies. I feel like you're going to do it either way.
You're going to do it.
Just making sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Always smoke weed before every movie.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
That's my rule, yeah.
She has a good rule of thumb.
That's pretty much what I do.
He's fitting right in on this podcast.
Not bad.
Not bad for behind the camera.
We'll see. We've got a lot of time left.
Do you have another...
I like how you're tempering
expectations.
Michael, do you have another movie
in the works?
I do. I just finished shooting a film called
Coffee and Cream for Netflix
with Ed Helms and Taraji Henson.
And this kid you're about to hopefully hear a lot about,
Terrence Little Garden High,
and it's about a white cop in Detroit
who's in a new affair with an African-American single mother.
And while they're screwing in the morning,
the son forgets the iPad and comes home
and witnesses them having sex
and puts a hit out on the white cop.
So it's a buddy cop action movie
with a 12-year-old African-American kid
and a white Ed Helms set in Detroit.
It's pretty funny, and I might be going to hell
for what I made that 12-year-old say.
There's a sex scene with Ed and Taraji? Fuck yeah. Oh what I made that 12 year old say. There's a
sex scene with Ed and Taraji?
Fuck yeah. Oh my god, I can't wait.
You thought Monster was good.
That is spicy.
In the script
it is written business casual
sex.
I love it.
What does that mean, business casual?
You know, like shirts on.
It's 10 in the morning.
I thought you meant like a lot of technical sex talk.
I like your vagina.
Good penis.
Like, you know what I mean?
Well, his whole dick is out.
Yeah, it's full on.
Our business has different kinds of casual.
You can just have your penis out sometimes.
I'm just excited to see Andy Bernard and Cookie.
Hell yeah. I want to see their see Andy Bernard and Cookie. Hell yeah.
I want to see their TV characters go at it.
Good for them.
And good for you. When's that come out?
I think spring next year on Netflix. Whenever the hell that
works. Yeah, they got
a lot going on. They got a lot going on.
They can't put on a movie
every day. They're trying
though. Just most days.
Yeah, they're trying real hard.
All right, well, let's keep an eye out for that, everybody.
And let's talk prize bag.
Because Michael is here through a, you know, a publicist set this up for me.
They said bring gifts.
And so he brought the same gift, but a lot of them.
It's a Kumail.
I mean, that's Dave Bautista.
How do I get one of those?
Let's take it.
Which one do you want?
Do you have one?
Do you want an extra tight, fit body?
Do you want a Kumail or a...
Oh, definitely a Bautista.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
There you go.
I'm so excited for this.
Oh, this is pretty great.
Sorry to whoever's prize bag.
I just took one out.
No, you didn't,
because we're just going to put two of them in the prize bag,
and then we'll give away the rest of them
by, you know, the classic chucking them into the crowd.
This is good for the ladies.
You can cut some cleavage right through Kamel's eyebrows.
I mean, that's what I would do.
They're good eyebrows.
Hey, his eyes are down here.
Yeah.
Yay!
Yeah, that's all you got gotta do to get one of these
is tell me which parts you're gonna cut out.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you would've thought
if they were gonna blow up his face that big,
they'd have trimmed those eyebrows just a little bit.
I mean, he could've gotten...
I don't even think you could cut through
those make-believe eyebrows.
Just a little tweeze.
There you go.
That's weird.
You know what really happens?
I just got LASIK. I can't see.
They didn't even shape them up.
No, they aren't.
You know what the best part about it is?
It's the fake walk you started.
It wasn't good enough until you pretended to walk.
The sunglasses are on.
It's amazing.
Yeah, I don't just do the voice.
Alright, so we got a Kumail
and a Dave for the prize bag
and then we'll toss out some of these other ones
later in the show.
Probably along with these waters.
And cookies.
We got cookies. Who wants a cookie?
Here you go.
You have to catch it, though.
Because, yes.
I don't want to make them clean up our mess.
Yeah, we don't want to make a mess.
I feel like a king right now, tossing cookies into an audience.
That's very nice.
Ooh, what a weird king.
Is that what kings would do?
You peasants, take your cookies.
I made a batch this morning.
Are you not familiar with what kings do, Doug?
They clearly throw cookies.
Feed your families.
Well, they definitely throw them harder or something.
Like, they don't just toss.
Out of a catapult.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's talk movies for a second before we get to the game portion of the show.
Amy.
Yes.
You know the question.
Which one?
Last movie that you saw.
Well, I saw your tweet of who was going to be on the show, and I watched Goon last night.
What?
Which is available on many streaming platforms.
I think I did Amazon Prime.
I loved it.
It was so good.
That was your first time seeing it?
That was my first time seeing it.
Are you a hockey fan?
Interesting question.
Answer.
I've been to a lot of hockey games.
I like to watch it live.
My boyfriend's a big hockey fan.
Okay.
Basic bitch.
I loved it.
I do.
I enjoy going to the games.
I like images of blood on ice.
Nice.
It's one of the reasons I like Fargo so much.
I also love Sean William Scott.
I feel like he's so charming and doesn't get enough credit for being not Stifler all the time.
Yeah, I loved it.
It was so good.
Thank you.
Great cast.
Yeah, no, he's extremely likable good. Great cast. He's extremely likable
and charming, especially when
he's punching people in the face.
So that real guy ended
up being a cop, though, right?
Which guy? Yeah, the real guy.
He was a cop.
He started as a mall security guy
and then he got recruited just
to fight on ice. So it's loosely
based on a true story.
Oh, okay.
Doug Smith is the guy's real name.
It was in fine print at the end,
and I was like,
God damn it, I was rooting for a cop this whole time.
But it is a great movie.
You guys should see it.
Perfect.
Yeah, that was great.
I don't like punching that much.
I mean, I want to go down the line.
They each just say a different movie that you've done,
but I feel like that's not going to happen.
I think it's going to stop right here.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, who are you?
He's over already.
What was that? Goon?
What do you got, Dustin? What was the last movie you saw?
I saw Highwaymen. The Highwaymen?
On Netflix? The Bonnie and Clyde thing?
That was really cool. And then I went
to, dude, they have the
car at this casino in Vegas.
And I went and took pictures with it and stuff.
So that was like.
Well, you saw the movie and the car.
I saw the movie and the car, the real car.
It was a little bit morbid, too, because they had his clothes,
like Clyde's clothes, and there was like blood all over him and shit.
And like kids were like taking pictures.
I don't know.
Is this wrong or something?
Like people got killed.
I don't know.
I want to get the Instagram likes. I got to put it up. Is this wrong or something? Like, people got killed. I don't know. I want to get the Instagram likes, so I got to put it up.
Sorry this happened.
And apparently, there was a fake car, too.
They had the real car, but then someone tried to fake it,
and there was a fake Bonnie and Clyde car.
And then someone just shot up, and they tried to sell.
I think it was like a Hyundai or something.
That didn't work. Does the real Bonnie and Clyde car have a bunch of it was like a Hyundai or something. That didn't work.
Does the real Bonnie and Clyde car
have a bunch of bullet holes in it?
It does, a ton of bullet holes, yeah.
Yeah, because that's the scene in the movie, right?
They all get shot up at their car.
Yeah.
I like those movies where you know what's going to happen,
but you're kind of like, oh, what's going to happen?
Wouldn't it be crazy if they changed it?
They live like, oh, fuck, dude.
You mean if they had lost to the Russians in Miracle?
They'd have been like, what the fuck? Yes. They're like, oh, fuck, dude. You mean if they had lost to the Russians in Miracle, they'd have been like, what the fuck?
Yes.
Am I living in a, am I tripping balls right now?
Shit, that speech sucked.
I'm sorry.
That didn't matter.
The losing speech at the end.
Well, Kurt Russell, like, I don't know, boys.
What is this miracle?
I'm not a Reagan coach.
What miracle?
This movie was not as good as I thought it was.
This is a bit of revisionist history.
Should have called that one What If, right?
Lincoln, he lives.
Like, what?
This is crazy.
They fucking miss me.
Like, oh.
Yeah, the end of him.
It's just him popping up at the end going miss me bitch
that's the end of the movie lincoln too no lincoln too i like lincoln too
it's already got funding he's a street performer who does magic out of his hat
it's been seven turns he's a dictator
he's marching on eng. He's got a robot arm.
I don't know American history.
Anyone else got a crazy wife?
Man.
Lincoln too.
I like it.
What about you, Josh?
Yesterday.
I saw yesterday. What did you think? All Yesterday. I saw yesterday.
Oh.
What did you think?
All right.
So anybody, and Doug knows this, I'm very easy to please when it comes to movies.
I smoke weed.
I'm just impressed that somehow you got it together and put it on screen.
Yep.
There's a participation medal for that.
There's a lot of shit that goes into that, right?
They did it.
Like, good for you, buddy.
So I'm excited.
I knew going in, I'm a huge Beatles fan,
that going in, I was going to like the movie
just because of the music.
But I didn't know Richard Curtis wrote it.
And I love him.
And I love the way he writes.
And so right when I saw that he wrote it, I was like, oh, this isn't going to be just this linear.
The commercials, to me, don't do it justice.
It's a completely different movie than what you see in the commercials.
And I liked it.
I liked the way he tells love stories.
For me, I liked the way he tells love stories.
And it was different.
And I love the music.
So I really enjoyed it.
But I think I'm, like, the only person.
The commercial makes it look like it co-stars Kate McKinnon.
Like, it's her and him. Yeah, it's not. And it doesn't I'm the only person. The commercial makes it look like it co-stars Kate McKinnon. It's her and him.
Yeah, it's not. And it doesn't get into
the love story. And like I said, he's such
a good writer that
I don't know. For me, he was
good across the board. What was the other
stuff that he did?
It's Danny Boyle
and Richard Curtis. Richard Curtis
is the writer. He did
Four Weddings and a Funeral. That was his first big movie. And what was the About Time the writer he did Transplant no it's Four Weddings and a Funeral
that was his first big movie
and what was the
About Time
I think he did
which I really liked
and then Danny Boyle
did Transplant
so for me
did you see it?
I haven't seen it yet
no
did you see it Doug?
did you like it?
what's that?
Yesterday?
I've honestly seen
the trailer so many times
I've been put off
by it the trailer is fucking terrible I've been put off by it
the trailer is fucking terrible
the trailer is terrible
last Superbowl they started playing the previews
and I just also feel like at the end
when it says yesterday I'm like shit I missed it
you know what I do feel bad for though
because this movie got panned so hard
in two weeks there's another Indian dude
but he likes Bruce Springsteen this time.
I saw that. That's right.
That's a tough one.
It's a tough 7-10 split.
That's like a...
That's right. It's a tough one.
That's like when a comedy club book looks like two fat guys
in a row. It's something like, this can't happen.
We can't. This is going to
throw everything. Yeah, we got to have one
black guy, one woman, one of it.
Luckily, that never happens with fat women, so it's good.
Oh.
You're sad about my career, too.
Good.
Give us back the cookies.
Who else needs a cookie?
Okay, dude
Go long
Nice
Ooh, good one
It's a hobby of mine
It's the first time
That's probably happened here, huh?
What's that?
Cookie being tossed from stage
Yeah, it's usually donuts
That dude draws, I know
And by the way
Those donuts are not tossed
They're thrown
who else wants a cookie
yeah
you guys saw that
I'm holding a cucumber
very smart
very smart crowd
no one fell for it
Michael
what was the last movie you saw
I don't want to shamelessly plug my own movie.
That was technically the last movie I saw,
but the movie I saw before that was The Wolf's Call on Netflix.
Oh.
Submarine movie, French, fucking fantastic.
I don't know if you like submarine movies.
Is that a category?
It is to me.
I love French movies.
I love submarine movies.
I can't believe the two are finally meeting. I had no idea that was a category of films. Sub is to me. I love French movies. I love submarine movies. I can't believe the two
are finally meeting. That was a category of films. Submarine films. I like romantic submarine movies.
I like the musical submarine movies is what I like. You five.
They could be porn movies. Yeah, it's great.
U571.
It's on Netflix.
It just popped up.
I started watching it.
I watched it twice.
It's so fucking good.
It's a great action movie.
It's Matthew Kasavitz, who directed Lehane.
It's Omar Srir from The Untouchables.
And some young French actor.
But it's about a guy listening.
His job it is to listen on the sub and listen to the makes of the other ships that go by because they can't see anything, obviously.
So he's the guy who sort of tells the captain what he's got to see.
It's fucking great.
Oh, that's crazy.
It's got subtitles and all that.
Well, yeah, you can watch it dubbed if you want on Netflix.
Why did Chernobyl do that?
Did you guys see Chernobyl?
I loved Chernobyl.
Why wasn't it in Russian, though?
I felt like it should have been.
Well, they should have done the Red October thing where they zoom in on the lips,
and then they go from Russian to English.
Remember that?
Oh, no.
No.
I'm sorry.
I freaked out.
I'm like, I don't know.
Yeah, that was some weird shit.
They're just like, hey, everybody, we're going to do that.
What are you talking about?
Zoom in on my lips, dude.
We know you hate reading, so we're going to zoom in on some lips.
And when we zoom back, your life is going to be fixed.
It's also like the Connery
Russian accent is pretty
laughable. He gave up.
He gave up.
That's like Tom Cruise in Valkyrie.
He just gave up.
Halfway through the beginning.
They probably got to day one, they're like, OK, just zoom in on this list.
It's not going to work.
He's all down to Portito.
Yes.
Torpedo.
I found a cure for the plague of the 20th century.
Yeah.
So that's a great movie.
So that was the last.
Say what it's called again?
The Wolf Skull.
Wolf Skull.
Yeah.
And it's under Submarine Movies?
It's on French submarine movies.
Dude, submarine movies are the fucking best.
You know Netflix has that category.
I agree with you.
Go watch some submarine movies.
I mean, I know I personally.
There's some shitty Kelsey Grammer ones floating around.
What?
You mean down Paris?
That's what I mean.
Floating way deep down,
you know?
He said floating around.
Yeah.
I think Patton Oswalt in that movie
is the guy
who tells the captain
what the other boats
are doing on the surface.
U571 is specifically funny
because it has
Jon Bon Jovi
as the sonar captain
or whatever the fuck he is.
And all he does
in all movies,
he puts his head
around a corner
and he goes,
splashes.
Oh yeah, the cast is crazy. Oh my he does in all movies, he puts his head around a corner and he goes, splashes. Oh yeah,
the cast is crazy.
Oh my God.
Well,
I'm gonna watch
that movie now.
Oh my God.
That's not the French one.
The French one is cool.
It doesn't have
Jon Bon Jovi
as a sonar operator.
He's not in that?
No.
How has he not
put out a song
called Splashes yet?
Splashes.
Splashes.
Splashes. Splashes. Splashes.
Splashes.
Yeah.
How he would be all hardcore.
It seems like, but now he's kind of geared,
he's gearing heavy to Soccer Mom,
so I think Splashes could be the name of his next album.
I can totally see that.
Jon Bon Jovi, Splashes.
Like, I think that's, we're in good shape with that one, yeah.
Definitely. You can get it at Walmart. I can see that. Jon Bon Jovi, Splashes. Like, I think that's a, we're in good shape with that one, yeah. Definitely.
You can get it at Walmart.
I can see that in the CD.
Sorry, Doug.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I can't wait for that movie
where only one guy knows Bon Jovi music
and it doesn't impress anybody.
Only in New Jersey. Like, big in New Jersey.
He just struggles through the whole movie
because Bon Jovi's, the man is the magic, not the songs.
It's got to all be on acoustic guitar, too.
I mean, now he's just resorting to common phrases
but sung in the Bon Jovi style.
Have a nice day!
You know, it's like, what?
Wash before you return to work!
Do you know, when my son was very young,
he loved Bon Jovi songs,
but he didn't know the words of the Bon Jovi songs.
But he knew the guy's name was Jon Bon Jovi,
so he sang every lyric as just Bon Jovi.
Oh, that's funny.
Like if Bon Jovi was a Pokemon.
Bon Jovi.
That's all you get.
Instead of living on a prayer, he would go,
Oh, Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi.
This is a better song.
This is a better song.
That might be better.
Yeah.
Might be.
Way catchier.
Yeah.
Same lyrics every time.
Way more efficient.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's probably how Bon Jovi sings it to himself.
When he's jerking off.
Some other guy puts him in the lane.
Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi.
Yeah.
In the mirror.
Oh my God!
Which he also calls the Bon Jovi.
Oh, I just Bon Jovied in my pants.
There's like loads of Bon Jovi all over the place.
I got a little Bon Jovi on the counter.
Did you guys know when Bon Jovi cut all that beautiful hair off for that war movie, they canceled Felicity?
What a weird reference.
Hair jokes.
All right, so that's the movie roundup.
We did real good.
Another thing I like to do sometimes,
I was calling it First Impressions,
but I guess there's a TV show called that already.
I thought it was such a clever title.
So I'm changing it to Impressionable Minds.
And this game doesn't really,
there's no real points or anything.
And there's no point to it.
I just like impressions. Wait, you're, there's no real points or anything. And there's no point to it. I just like impressions.
Wait, you're starting games already?
No, we're going to do some impressions.
Yeah.
Oh, you need a little more time for the games?
No, I'm ready.
Okay.
But basically the idea is give us your best impression.
If you have one, you don't have to have one.
But if you have a really good impression that you do, you do it.
And then we're all going to try.
So I'm the worst
at impressions, so I'm super excited to do this.
That's the fun of it.
Anybody can do them if you just find the
hook. I do a lot of impressions as part
of my job, so I'm equally as excited.
This is going to be fun.
You give the actors
line readings in their own voice?
That's what I do that's basically
how I direct
that would be
fucked up
this is how you
should say it
exactly like this
nope
like this
fucker
you know what
just mouth it
I'll do it
from off screen
I just ADR
all their lines
eventually
I just
that's how you
make double the money
yeah exactly you don't pay for this it's fine just flappy lips I'll get it later lines. That's how you make double the money. Yeah, exactly.
You don't pay for
that.
It's fine.
Just flap your lips.
I'll get it later.
Flap.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's the secret word
of today.
Yeah.
Okay.
So who's got one?
Who's got an impression
that you do?
I do one.
Okay, here we go.
Josh has got one.
Do I need to tell you
what it is?
Oh, you don't have to
if you think it'll be
more effective.
But sometimes you don't
want people guessing
what impression you're doing.
Yeah, I don't think...
Because we might not know.
This is the one
impression that I do.
And it's Droopy Dog.
Oh, okay.
We know him.
That really makes me mad.
That's the one I do.
That's it. That's the one I do. That's it.
That's the one.
Going down.
Good one.
He did it better.
Yeah.
Yeah, he did it better than I did, which isn't great.
Yeah.
But you did kind of a subtle one, actually.
The way you did it was real.
It really makes me mad.
Like Droopy on Ambien or something.
Yeah.
I will go to the fridge.
Anybody else want to try Droopy?
Droopy.
Yeah, this is Droopy right now.
It's not Droopy.
I don't know what you sounded like, but you look like you just came from the dentist.
I'm droopy.
I think the trick to the droopy dog impersonation is to just pretend like your tongue doesn't work.
And just lay there.
And just lay there. And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there.
And just lay there. And just lay there. And just lay there. And just lay there. And just lay there. make famous voices say terrible things
that's a fun game actually
alright what do you got Amy
you got anything
this is my impression of Jon Bon Jovi
jerking off
no
this is my only,
this is my most favorite movie line to say.
The impression's not good.
Okay, you ready?
Hell yes, they deserve to die
and I hope they burn in hell.
Thank you very much.
That was Samuel L. Jackson.
Oh, that was a miracle.
I thought that was a miracle.
I thought that was a miracle.
That was Samuel L. Jackson.
I thought that was from Lincoln, too.
I had no idea.
They made a sequel to Lincoln?
Yeah.
Oh, Lincoln, too, would be black, too.
That would be awesome, right?
Like Sam Jackson plays.
I'm like, what?
Well, if they can't take a black Ariel,
they couldn't take a black Lincoln.
Oh my, you'd flip, dude. Oh my god, it'd be insane.
I'd love to see a black Lincoln.
Like Adam Driver
as black Lincoln.
And he wears
black boots.
Adam Driver as black Lincoln.
Keep going. So to make it a little less offensive, it's actually a white guy.
Imagine being his agent and pitching him that.
Just follow me here.
You know how agents
are always pitching great ideas?
You know, Harry Styles is attached.
To what?
I don't know.
Himself.
Harry Styles is fond of this project.
He's attached to it.
I attached him to stuff.
He doesn't agree to anything.
He doesn't know, but he's attached.
Does anybody want a cookie? Here we go. Cookie time. There he is. He doesn't agree to anything. He doesn't know but he's attached. Does anybody want a cookie?
Here we go. Cookie time.
There he is. Right in the middle there. I don't want to make a mess.
Some people have already got a cookie. Raise their hands.
You're going to have to get a little more oomph than that.
Did you get one yet?
You said that very guilty too.
Bunch of E!
You ready in the middle?
You ready?
This last one's for me.
God, I love that golf applause.
I'll share it with you, but...
I really should have washed my hands.
Sorry.
But enjoy your cookie.
A little Bon Jovi on that one.
God, that's...
Did you notice when you were in the bathroom, Josh,
that they're out of toilet paper?
Yeah, I did notice that.
That's weird, right?
You'd think they'd want us to be able to wash our hands
before touching all these things.
All right.
You guys use toilet paper when you pee?
What?
Oh, I didn't pee.
Sometimes I do, just when I'm feeling dapper.
I'll take a little piece and put it on the end.
A little wipe.
That's nice.
Little dapper dab.
When you find yourself shaving, that little tissue.
You give it a little penis yarmulke and you just throw it on there.
It's weird though.
Penis yarmulke.
Those are definitely...
Someone sells those.
There's definitely a penis yarmulke out there.
Put it right there on the end of my Bon Jovi.
All right.
That's enough.
I've got an impression, Doug.
Oh, okay.
One more.
This is the guy from Blink-182
looking for his kid at the airport.
Where are you?
I saw it.
I thought of that between what was happening,
so I'll work it out more.
It just came out of the oven.
Yeah.
Just now.
Where are you?
Yeah, it makes sense.
Okay, any other Blake 182 impersonators?
Anybody else want to try?
I didn't think so.
All the small
things.
Bon Jovi.
Bon Jovi.
How old was your kid when he did this?
27. It was weird.
You look great, Josh.
He was 19.
Just back from Brown.
You know my kid.
He's not going to Brown.
All right.
This is the part of the show where I say, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Now, Michael, folks brought a little decorative name tag, some artwork, if you will, that's all movie-based.
And also they work their names into the art somewhere.
And this gentleman's drawn something on a piece of paper.
So I need all of my guests to just go select one that is your favorite for whatever reason
and bring it back to your seat.
And while you guys do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
Today's show is brought to you in part by Sword of Trust.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back,
and we're very excited about these choices.
What do you have, Michael?
You got some...
I've got...
By the way...
The Texas Chainsaw Massacaran.
Great job, Karen.
Very nice Photoshop of you.
I'm in there as a leather face.
Yeah, as a leather face.
A little less leathery.
And then you get a little Cheetos.
I got a little vodka.
Cheetos on top.
Yeah.
Yeah, congratulations.
Perfect, thank you.
You're already a winner.
I've already won.
What do you got there, Josh?
Hello, my name is Wall JD.
It's a little Wally Dolly.
Yeah, uh-huh.
And I can tell you for sure the reason I picked him is because there was a joint attached to him.
Yeah.
And that is the only reason.
So I was looking right past him, and he goes, there's a joint here.
I was like, throw that up here.
And so I'm JD. Here we go, goes, there's a joint here. I was like, throw that up here.
JD.
Here we go, man.
He did it.
This is where your journey ends, JD.
He's right.
What do you got there, Dustin?
I've got a Trey Gallion one that you were talking about earlier.
I like Trey.
Trey's the
Incredible Sam. Oh, it's not. You're right. galleon one uh that you were talking about earlier i like trey trey's the incredible sam yes yeah
yeah so it's not you're right you're paying for sam oh here let me give it back to you
no i'm just kidding oh yeah but keep all that weed and there was yeah there was like a bunch
of weed attached to it i didn't even see that when i was walking and i saw it i'm like oh my
god this is insane i picked a couple bags of. There's a couple bags in it. That's not a...
We have some officers standing by.
These are in Ziploc bags, too.
This ain't no dispensary bullshit.
This is like you had it at your house.
Old school Ziploc.
That's the original child safety bag.
Exactly.
Yellow and blue makes green.
Yeah.
Good luck.
Can I get another Chardonnay?
Oh.
Thank you so much.
You're the best.
Best in the biz.
Carol Kane in Dead Don't Die.
Chardonnay.
I loved that movie.
You did?
I did. I'm glad You did? I did
I'm glad somebody did
I really enjoyed it
Yeah
It was what I expected
It was a Jim Jarmusch movie
That had zombies in it
Yeah
It was a lot of quiet
Which is kind of like
All of his movies
Everyone's just sort of
Everyone's just sort of
Walking around
In kind of a undead
Coffee
Cigarettes
Yeah
Broken flowers We could do them all Alright Coffee, cigarettes. Cocaine flowers.
We could do them all.
All right, where are we at?
Dustin?
You said, oh, you got Trey, Galeon, Sam.
Sam.
What do you got there, Amy?
Oh, I'm playing for Coco, you mentioned before.
No weed or free liquor, so you fucked up.
But she did use the nice photo
of me, so that's why I chose it.
Cocoa at the El Royale.
And you're probably not going to win anything, but
thank you.
It's nice artwork on the side of a...
Oh, it's beautiful. And by the way, Doug,
did you see? Glitter spray? You've got
a killer body. Look at me.
Yeah. I got
Hemsworth. Yeah. I got Hemsworth.
And the poster's nice too.
I'm on the Galleon one.
And I'm on this one. But here, let me see this
for a second.
You want this bottle here, Michael?
This Tito's? You put everyone on. That's nice.
Yeah. John Hamm,
my boyfriend. Everybody knows.
This is your first...
You made it. I look insane.
You look great.
You're handsome.
I mean, you don't
have to laugh.
I think he looks handsome.
She's like, yeah, right.
She just thought of a joke from earlier
or something.
Alright, so we're going to play a series of games
to determine who goes home, which one of the four name tags
goes home with all the prizes.
What do you got for the prize bag, Amy?
Oh, okay.
Well, I have this Camille Nanjiani T-shirt,
and I have some things for, it's a big travel season you know so
i just got you some supplies great travel movies sisterhood of the traveling pants
um i got you this t-shirt for the airport it says uh tsa don't touch my junk. So that's good.
And then travel can be expensive.
You know, you got to save up a little bit.
So I got you this piggy bank that looks like a white foot.
It's really dirty.
Now, I don't want to give away your secrets,
but all that is coming in a freshly given Goodwill bag.
Yeah, I spent money on this shit, you guys.
Sad, right?
Yeah, there we go.
All right.
All of that was at the Goodwill?
Oh, yeah.
If you know how to look.
Did you walk in and go,
do you have a severed white foot?
You're like the fifth guy.
Oh, my God.
And you know that Goodwill Is a for profit organization
It's not a charity
Is it really?
Yeah
Really?
Yeah
Isn't that weird?
I'm taking my t-shirts
With holes elsewhere
They're charity
They have my ripped jeans
They will give me the shit
I don't like somewhere else
Hear me out
Their cause is recycling
Which I am fine with
Because we all have too much
fucking shit. So it's fine.
They're repurposing stuff and selling it
to poor people like me. I'm okay
with that. But I also
think... I'm fine with that. Don't they
hire like
mentally challenged... No, they just hire a bunch
of people that think they're Santa Claus. Got it. Yeah.
My fault. I was waiting. I just
was biting my lip trying to figure out what word you were going to say.
By the way, me too.
You're my higher line.
You know.
I held on to that first word a long time.
Like, what am I going to say?
Mexicans?
Yeah.
Okay, so.
Oh, more prizes.
What else?
Dustin?
I have my I Heart Nugget t-shirt
You get that in the prize bag
It's a joke that I've been telling forever
And I just gotta get rid of these fucking shirts
And check it out
This is amazing, dude
You guys know Whataburger?
I got a ton of Whataburger ketchup
I know
I'm gonna take like two of them from the
bag for me but check it out not only the regular ketchup spicy ketchup but this shit is like
cocaine in texas bro you gotta fly with those no here's what i did at the airport i was in dallas
i did a show and then dude they just had them they just had them there like take and then the
signs like just take two i'm like oh fuck. I'm getting on a plane to LA.
I'm taking all the Whataburger ketchup packets, man.
And you were like, hey, TSA, don't touch my junk.
Not one.
They were in the airport.
It was so awesome.
Oh, gosh.
I kind of almost don't want to give these away, man.
Well, you have to.
I know.
I didn't think it.
So I was like, ah, it's a big deal.
I'm going to tell you.
You really make me want to try Whataburger ketchup.
I'm not going to lie.
It's a spicy one.
There you go. Yeah, give me all that.. It's leaking. The bag is all leaky.
You can see my receipt
attached to it. It has some taquitos.
I can verify that he did have the taquitos.
What's the date on that?
It's interesting you gave him the name Sexy Pants.
That's a funny
name to give him when you're
waiting for your order i like to goof
around bon jovi your taquitos are ready i bet you that's never been said that's a great one
ever like even to him no i feel like he's never eaten a taquito and his wife. I know. These cookies are delicious.
All right, Josh.
So you know how much thought I put into these prize bags.
And I decided I would help you enjoy your time here even more.
So whoever wins is going to get a Flappers gift card
that is going to pay, well, I don't know if it's going to pay for all the shit you bought, but it's going to get a Flappers gift card that is going to pay...
Well, I don't know if it's going to pay for all the shit you bought,
but it's going to pay for some of it.
So a Flappers gift card to help with whatever you put towards.
Did you just buy that?
Yeah.
I was like, what?
On the way in, I was like, I don't have anything for the gift card.
Oh, shit.
How much?
Do you want to say?
Should I?
Yeah.
$25.
Whoa!
Man.
Yeah, that's nice.
I thought $10 for sure.
You're not going to have any two-drink minimum problems with that.
Imagine what amazing gifts you could have gotten at Goodwill with that $25.
I should have got two severed foots.
If you just had time to shop. It's a piggy bank. Get it? with that $25. I should have got two severed foots.
If you just had time to shop.
It's a piggy bank, get it?
Because of piggies, little piggies.
Oh, that's bad.
Okay.
Makes sense.
All right, and then, of course,
Michael brought us T-shirts,
and the winner will get one of each of these.
But let's toss a couple out to the crowd here, Michael.
Who wants one?
Who wants a Kumail?
Here we go.
We'll do a Kumail down here.
There you go.
And I'll save a couple more,
because that really brings up the energy in the room.
It does.
People get really, they wake up a little bit like, oh,
I gotta scream and hold my hands out.
Like a trained animal. All right.
This first game we're gonna play.
Anything else, Amy, that I forgot to do?
No, I don't think so.
Thank you.
Are we gonna do plugs at the end?
Yeah.
Michael's digging into the weed.
Giving it the
smell test. Smell the other one, he says.
The jack is super racy, though.
Yeah, let's smell the other one, everybody.
Did you grow that?
Your dad grew it?
Aw, that's so cute.
I want to move into this bag.
I really like that weed.
All right.
Well, that's quite a score.
Did you make this weed yourself?
Is that the deal?
His dad.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, he's given me some before. I like how you just called him dad, too that the deal? His dad. Oh, yeah, okay. I've given you some of my Luke DeVore.
Oh, he's given me some before. I like how you just called him dad, too.
Like, we knew...
Your dad made it.
Oh, fucking hell.
That's awesome.
Dad's cool.
Nice work, daddy.
It's weird when you called his dad daddy.
Yeah.
Daddy.
Well, you know, I was a bad boy.
Dougie's a bad boy.
Ooh, daddy.
Daddy makes me smoke weed.
Where are you?
I thought I'd try it again.
I don't know.
I felt it.
I went for it.
It's getting better every time.
This first game we're going to play is called Live, Die,
Repeat.
On the surface
it's a very simple game and then you go below
the surface and it remains a very
simple game. I am
going to say the title of an
actual movie
that really exists according to IMDb
and the first person on stage
who can repeat back
that full title
and correctly
wins.
And I'll start saying it over again
every time somebody has a guess.
Wait, you're going to say the name
of an actual movie?
Just let it happen, Josh.
You said that to me last night, too.
No, I said, please stop.
You're a comedian.
Comedians don't always do that.
Yeah.
All right, so Josh, you've played this game before.
Yeah.
But you still are curious how it works. No, I'll... You got it, right? Yeah, I got it. Yeah. But you still are curious how it works.
No, I'll...
You got it, right? Yeah, I got it.
I'll say it slowly
and I will start
I'll begin again
after each time somebody guesses incorrectly
until somebody does it right.
Cookies.
You ordered cookies? They're hot. Cookies. You ordered cookies?
They're hot.
Cookies.
Smart.
I mean, I hate going to a restaurant
and ordering cold cookies.
Fuck a cold cookie.
It's like they just took them out of a
thing and put them on a plate.
Yeah, a thing.
An oven? No on a plate. Yeah, a thing. An oven?
No, a box.
Okay.
This is the title.
The
Saga
of
the
Viking
Women.
The Saga of the Viking Women. The saga of the Viking women.
The saga of the Viking women and...
Richard Gere.
The saga of the Viking women and Richard Gere.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the
waters.
Burger?
The saga
of the Viking
women and their voyage
to the waters
of the
great
sea
What the fuck? The Great Sea Serpent.
What the fuck?
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage.
To the Sea Serpent's...
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage
to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent.
The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent. The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the Great Sea Serpent.
She wins.
By the way, you know why that movie
didn't do well. You couldn't have fit the fucking
title on a marquee.
Tell that to Birdman.
They read the title.
There's no more room in the commercial.
Is that a point for me?
No, it's just once.
The saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters.
Saga of the Viking women and their voyage to the waters of the great sea serpent.
From 1957.
From 1957.
1950, wow.
Amy did it, everybody.
What a progressive movie.
Congratulations.
Let's hear it for Amy.
Way to go, Amy.
Good job, Amy. Thank you so much.
That'll be the only point that I get, Coco.
Yeah, enjoy
it while you can, Cokes. That's what you get for not giving
me weed.
It's a beautiful name
tag, though. She said, you'll be
fine.
It's not true.
Let's play ABCD's Notes.
This is a spelling game
of sorts. You don't need to know
how to spell. Good.
Actually, all you have to be able to spell is the word
flappers.
It's got two P Ps in it, Josh.
Got it.
And no apostrophe.
It's not a club named after someone named Flapper.
Oh.
It's not Sidney J. Flapper.
Sidney J. Flapper.
Sidney J.
It's plural flappers.
A man ahead of his time.
They should make up a character that owns this place.
They should.
Old man Flapper.
Mr. Flapper.
He came to Burbank in 1906.
He thinks that Prohibition is still going,
and they just keep it a secret from him that they sell booze here at the club.
They just keep him away from that part of the operation.
He had a crazy drinking
problem, so we just tell him it's illegal.
His grandfather was in the dry cleaning business.
Josh. But soaps and
suds weren't enough.
You should have done it as droopy and then made it.
Oh, that's right.
Sidney J.
Flapper.
Had a drinking problem.
So we're going to spell Flappers, and we'll start with you, Amy.
The idea, Michael, is that she's going to get the letter F in Flappers,
and she has to name any movie that begins with the letter F.
But if she magically matches the one that I've written down ahead of time,
unlikely to happen. Very unlikely.
But when it does, it's so exciting.
Has anybody here seen it happen?
It's quite a moment.
Okay.
But also there is a theme.
So if you figure that out, it might be easier for you to get it.
Got it.
And so, yeah.
So things go according to plan.
Your letter will be P when it gets to you, Michael.
But we'll start with Amy.
F. F. things go according to plan your letter will be p when it gets to you michael but we'll start with amy f name any movie that begins with a f falling down great uh choice is that what you guessed no i mean how amazing that would have been but what's your theme if i mean we would just have
to burn this place down if you matched with that title, Falling Down.
I went with a movie from 1970 called Flap.
Yeah, isn't that weird?
Alright, L is the next letter, Dustin.
I didn't want to know
what Flap was about.
I think there was some sort of
disagreement or
some sort of flap.
Yeah.
I'll do Lars in The Real Girl.
Oh, that's a good one.
Did you have that written down?
Mm-mm.
Ah, well.
Why are you doing that accent?
Did you have that written down?
Is it on your paper?
Do I win?
Who is it, doggie?
What have you got?
I went with a movie from 2014 called
Lap Dance.
Lap Dance.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, Josh. your letter is A.
Any movie that begins with A or one that you think fits the theme I'm going for here.
I'm thinking of an A that has an app.
Oh.
I got it.
I know what it is.
I think Michael's figured it out.
Oh, you know what the A one is?
I know what the P one is.
Oh, interesting.
You guys should switch seats.
I know what it is.
What do you got for A, Josh? I don't have one that matches app. I'm sorry, JD. Oh, interesting. You guys should switch seats. I know what it is. What do you got for A, Josh?
I don't have one that matches app.
I'm sorry, JD. Just say something.
About last night.
App out last night?
Yeah, app out last night.
You were so close, dude. It's Apollo 13.
Oh, man.
P is the next letter.
Papillon? That is correct.
That's the one.
What? No way. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one.
What?
No way.
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's amazing. I even had the original 1973 version.
Oh.
C. Hoffman, C. McQueen.
Just for fun, Amy, do you want to guess the next letter?
The next letter is P.
I was Perdition comma road to
I went with Papillon
As it is commonly known
I went with Papillon from 2017
Oh okay
Yeah back to back
Oh I get it
Yeah and then Entrapment
Rhapsody in August
And Strapless were the other titles
But Michael did it
He won the game
Wow
Michael Incredible That's amazing Do you want to throw a cookie at someone? Who wants a cookie? and Strapless were the other titles. But Michael did it. He won the game.
Michael.
Incredible.
That's amazing.
Do you want to throw a cookie at someone?
Who wants a cookie?
Who wants a... Oh, a cookie just hit the floor, people.
I'll take the ground cookie.
Oh, that was...
He wants the ground cookie.
Sam wants ground cookie.
That's a clean-up situation.
It's on the poster.
And what a surprise that the dude
who was handing out two huge bags of weed
was like, I'll eat that cookie off the ground.
Whatever cookie you got, I'll eat that motherfucker right now.
Let me dip it in some of that Whataburger ketchup, man.
You're looking to eat it.
Shit, yeah.
Fuck is he eating that thing?
He really is eating it.
Yeah.
We're all pausing.
You know how many act outs have happened on this?
That's about a 20 second rule there. He really has eaten it. Yeah. We're all pausing. You know how many act outs have happened on this?
That's about a 20 second rule there.
I mean, do you know how many things he eats every day out of his own beard that are worse than that?
I don't know, Doug.
There's a lot of Bon Jovi on this floor right now.
Oh, yeah.
Not to mention his dad's beard.
Which I imagine has a lot of crumbs in it.
Based on the fact that he grows his own weed inside.
Keep explaining the joke.
It will get better.
Does your dad have a beard?
Because he smokes so much weed
that I feel like he doesn't
shave all the time.
And then he eats stuff
and it falls in there.
Your dad doesn't have a beard?
He's got a regular wife.
Regular.
I've got a regular wife.
That's not funny, dog.
Regular wife.
My wife.
My regular wife.
regular wife.
I'm up here.
Dear Flappers,
may I have a new Tito's and soda?
Thank you, Flappers.
Flappers responded. I didn't know
that was going to happen.
Dear Sidney J. Flapper
You go on stage
Make fun of my grandfather
And I'll get you a drink Mr. Benson
So what else are you on
Besides
You know
Just the joy of life right now
Me?
Yeah
I'm on nothing
What are you talking about?
Are you on something?
No
What are you my dad? What the fuck What are you talking about? Are you on something? No. Did you take Molly? What are you, my dad?
What the fuck?
What are you on, man?
Am I on something?
You're his science teacher?
What are you on, Jack?
Yeah.
Listen, man, I just huffed all this fucking Whataburger ketchup, all right?
We brought you here today for a reason.
Yeah.
Oh, this is an intervention podcast.
Damn it.
These are all your friends and family.
That you don't recognize because you do so many drugs.
That was wild.
I've done this show many times and you've never asked someone what they were on.
Okay, what do you want?
I thought you were going to say any upcoming project.
What are you on?
I'm nothing right now.
I've been on this shit.
What projects are you on?
What projects are you taking right now?
What projects are cursing through your bloodstream?
Or coursing.
That's funny.
All right.
Oh, thank you so much.
Got my drink.
Oh, he's taking the other one away.
This is full service here.
He's the best.
Yeah.
I'd enjoy it more if I wasn't tripping balls right now.
Yes, you can clap for him.
If I didn't have so many fucking...
A little less angel dust.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Let's play...
What am I on right now
is what I should ask.
What's that?
Let's play
Last Man Stanton, you guys.
Oh, no.
You love this game, Amy.
Okay.
This is a game where I like to participate as well.
I'm going to get from a pre-selected audience member,
I'm going to get a suggestion of an actor or actress,
and then we all take turns naming movies that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
No lifeline?
Oh, I was about to say that.
Oh, sorry.
That's okay.
You're my little reminder lady over there.
You're like that paper clip on Microsoft Word.
Don't forget about your lifeline.
You used the word attachment.
Did you mean to add an attachment?
Get out of my fucking business.
I use the word attachment sometimes.
Are you writing a letter?
I like structure.
Like fucking paper clips.
Yeah, fuck that thing.
I have anxiety.
Fuck it in the ear.
All right. Where is in the ear. All right.
Where is JD the King 13?
Hell yeah, dude.
Where is he at?
King.
Oh, okay.
There he is.
And it's his birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, JD.
Give us a fuck.
Thank you, Queen.
Get the fuck out of here.
Fuck you and your birthday.
Go do something good with your birthday.
Go volunteer at a shelter.
That's what most of us do.
What kind of shelter?
Just someplace where it's cool,
because it's a hot day out there.
Yeah, someplace where you're not the sun.
Find some shelter.
That's all I'm saying.
Give me shelter.
Volunteer somewhere shady.
I mean, not somewhere in disrepute, but somewhere.
Oh, I just, words are so hard.
There's so many of them to choose from all the time.
All right, so JD, it's your birthday.
And so you wrote to me on Twitter suggesting that you have more than one name
that you think would be good for this
game. So I'd like you to
give me the first one that you'd like to suggest
and then we'll review it and I'll get
back to you. What do you think?
It's birthday, same birthday as
Oh, it's people that celebrate their birthday
today as well?
Harrison Ford
77 today
and crashing planes like he's 45.
Which I think is still too old to fly.
I sure hope he gets another earring.
Got an earring on my dick.
That's not called an earring.
It is when I get it.
Don't get cocky.
Okay, so that's a good one.
Like, we don't really need more,
because I think the films of Harrison Ford,
that'll take us a minute, because he's done a few.
Now, the tricky thing in this game, Michael,
is you have to get the exact correct
title. So sorry. Yeah.
I mean, Harrison Ford doesn't do a lot of movies with
subtitles in them. A Viking lady.
Yeah, exactly.
And
who won that last game? Was it
me? It was you. Yeah, because you matched.
Yeah, you killed it. All right. So we'll
start with you. Then we'll go to Josh.
Then to Dustin. Then to Amy. Then to me. I don't have a lifeline, but you then we'll go to Josh then to Dustin
then to Amy
then to me
I don't have a lifeline
but you guys each can go to your lifeline
one time
but
the films of Harrison Ford
let's do this
Apocalypse Now
that's a
what?
I would have saved that one
because as you could tell
some of the guests
don't know he's in that
yeah I got it
alright a little strategy
a little bit
say the easy ones first
yeah yeah get those
big ones out of the way. Josh?
Star Wars. Okay, you can't
just yell out Star Wars.
It's not going to cut it.
You've got to say the episode number
and the
title of that one.
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Star Wars Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Josh. Fuck that. I don't know any of the Star Wars Raiders of the Lost Ark. Josh.
Fuck that.
I don't know any of the Star Wars titles outside of Star Wars.
So Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The full title is Raiders of the Lost Ark, Episode 1, Melted Skull.
Yeah, I can't believe they gave away the ending right there.
Okay, so yeah, Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Justin?
All right, I'll pick up where Josh left off.
Star Wars, A New Hope.
What number is that one?
Fuck me.
Episode four.
Yes.
Okay.
You did it.
Oh, that was scary for a second.
Amy?
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Man, that was the only other one I knew.
Witness.
Indiana, it's my turn.
Oh, it's your turn.
Yeah, I'll go with Witness.
Fuck.
Fuck you, Doug.
No, no, he can keep Witness.
I'm going to go with...
He said I could keep Witness.
Don't forget, everybody, you're here. No, I said Michael can keep it. Oh, that's what I was going to go with... He said I could keep witness. Don't forget, everybody, you're here.
No, I said Michael can keep it.
Oh, that's what I was going to say. Go on.
I'm sorry. There's others.
Yeah, he might change his mind even.
We'll see. But for me,
I'm going to go with
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
I like it. Now, Michael.
Witness. Witness.
Witness. Witness.
Josh.
Let me ask you something.
Okay.
Does the first Blade Runner have more than just to it than just Blade Runner?
I don't think it does.
Blade Runner.
Give it a shot.
There you go. Blade Runner.
Blade Runner.
Blade Runner.
Yeah.
Blade Runner.
Blade Runner.
Star Wars Empire Strikes Back.
Is it episode five?
Okay.
All right.
It's Star Wars episode number and then the...
Oh, is that the format?
I guess.
The formula?
I don't know.
Star Wars episode five, The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah.
Amy.
Air Force One.
Nice.
Thank you.
God bless our president.
Oh, good one.
God bless our president.
Yeah.
Good one.
Oh, I wasn't serious, guys.
Don't worry.
Douglas Movies is coming to San Francisco on July 27th at the Punchline.
R.I.P. maybe.
Yeah, we'll see about that.
Maybe not.
We don't know if it's close.
They're going to move to another location maybe.
Let's talk later.
Yeah, let's talk later.
Can I finish my plug?
Yeah, I'm sorry.
The Frisco Kid.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
I already said that one.
There's still one more on the table.
I'm a woman and my votes count.
You said it.
I said it.
Shit, I heard the last one said.
Not in flappers they donate.
No, you're not out. You can say another one.
Oh, I can say another one? Oh, fuck.
The Conversation. Yeah, because you know other ones.
It's all about when a person just can't think of one.
Josh?
Speaking of that person.
Here's the thing.
This is why I'm terrible at this game.
One, I can picture movies, but I don't have any fucking idea what they're called and
even the ones that i do know like i know there are other star wars but i just know they're called
star wars how do you get your tickets when you go to the movies i go with that one you just point
yeah uh but it's so okay all right you can go to your. No, that's too soon to go to my lifeline. It's pretty quick.
On Harrison Ford.
But I keep picturing that...
What are you seeing in your mind?
That old movie with Richard Dreyfuss
and they're driving around.
It's like the 50s.
Yeah, yeah.
I can see that movie.
Yeah, keep going.
I'm familiar with it.
Yeah.
But I can't remember...
Where'd they make it?
What country does it take place in?
America.
Which episode was it?
Oh, it was called
American Graffiti.
Yeah!
There you go.
Doug, I see where you're going.
I was like, that's the stupidest question.
Lamo gets to stay.
That's the name of my next album.
No, not all of them.
There's like a bunch left.
Okay, where are we at, Dustin?
Yes, I'm going to go with Sabrina.
You're expecting another Star Wars one.
What a sophisticated choice.
When you said that first, I'm like,
the story about that Hispanic singer?
But that is a different movie.
I've seen it for Lopez.
It's Sabrina.
Which is kind of funny.
I was like, I don't remember him.
Was he her manager?
Yeah, that was right.
Yeah, that's Selena.
She's like Puerto Rican, too, but they had her play a Mexican.
I was like, all right, that's so funny.
They're like, ah, you're brown.
Get the fuck in there.
And I'm like, come on, are you serious?
That was Dusty's
vent.
What are you on right now?
Sabrina.
He's on the high that he's watching
Greg Kinnear.
He's in Sabrina, yeah.
I just saw the, I remember the VHS cassette.
Like the hairs of, like very dead.
Right, yeah.
He was all like, uh.
Yeah, he wasn't in a Millennium Falcon.
I know that.
There was no Wookiee in Sabrina.
I don't think so.
Avery?
I have another impression.
Oh, I'm excited.
I didn't kill my wife.
Oh, nice.
I don't care.
The Fugitive.
Wow, you played both parts in that scene.
I love that.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
There's so many ways Tommy Lee Jones could have gone with that.
Study just said he didn't care.
Okay, so that's how this works.
We're going to say a quote from the movie,
do an impression from the movie.
If it's extra points.
And then no extra points.
But it is fun.
What's under our house?
What lies beneath it?
Yeah!
Jesus.
I didn't know Pacino was in that movie.
What's under our house?
Our house.
Oh, that's funny.
Okay.
I can't do an impression of this.
Regarding Henry?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
I don't know who I am!
Pacino, as Ford.
In Regarding Henry.
Al Pacino, as Harrison Ford.
Forever.
Go ahead, buddy.
Go into his lifeline.
You're up, JD.
JD.
Oh, good pull.
He's in The Secret Life of Pets 2.
You mean The Secret Life of Pets as well?
Or The Secret Life of Pets 2?
Two.
Yeah, that's it.
Episode 2.
Episode 2, The Empire Strikes Back.
Secret Life of Pets 2.
Arf! Arf!
Secret Life of Pets 2.
Arf! Arf!
Thanks for coming in, Harrison.
Thanks for buying me a new earring.
Wait, Dustin.
Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi. Uh-huh.
I got one more in there.
Yeah, I'm going to take it.
Oh, you got one more in there.
I'm going to swipe that.
Coco?
She's going to Coco.
Working girl.
Oh, damn it.
Great.
Coffee, tea, me.
That's not him, but that's what he said.
He doesn't say that, that's what she says
In that movie
Melanie Griff
Okay, so I'm gonna go
Rilo, I can't believe you killed me
Star Wars Episode 7 The Force Awakens Rilo, I can't believe you killed me.
Star Wars Episode VII, The Force Awakens.
No quote.
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull?
And the Crystal Skull?
It's a tricky one.
Where's the crystal skull?
To the waters of the great sea serpent.
Oh, fuck.
I got it.
Mosquito coast.
Yeah.
Indiana Jones and the ghost of Mosquito Coast.
Yep.
Or the skull of Mosquito Coast. I have no quote.
It's about ice in the Amazon?
I don't fucking know.
Josh.
Yes?
I think it's your turn.
Okay.
You used your lifeline.
I already did.
Yep, used it effectively.
Okay.
So now we're back to you.
All right.
Films of H. Ford.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, there's a lot of them that I'm missing.
Do you know, unfortunately,
the only one that keeps popping into my head
is that movie he did with Josh Hartnett.
Oh, right.
I like that movie.
Do you know what...
Yes.
What was that called again?
I don't know, but whenever I'm on the other side of the hill,
I want to kill myself.
Wait, is that it? Yes. No, I want to kill myself. Wait, is that it?
Yes.
No, I want to kill somebody else.
Not myself.
Sorry.
When I'm in Hollywood.
Murder in Hollywood.
Is that it?
No.
Fuck.
That isn't the name.
I thought you were clapping.
I'm like, that's a weird title, but I'm in.
Murder in Hollywood.
That is so confident.
What was that movie called?
Hollywood Homicide.
Fuck, so close.
Dustin.
So Murder in Hollywood we're not accepting?
I'm not accepting it now.
We got to move on at this point.
Cowboys and Aliens.
Cowboys and Aliens Cowboys and aliens.
Oh, look at you
over there.
Even saying and
instead of versus.
Was it versus?
It wasn't.
It was and.
Oh, okay.
That freaked me out.
But it was odd to me
that it was called and.
Like, they're just
two things that'll be
hanging out.
They never interact.
Yeah, like,
that'd be weird.
Alien and predator.
Like, what?
Is this a sitcom or something?
Alien and Predator.
You gotta verse them.
You gotta match them up.
Amy.
Did anyone say Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?
Yep.
Fuck.
Didn't you say that?
No, I did.
She said Temple of Doom.
Thank you for remembering now.
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull is still available, right?
It is if you know where that Crystal Skull is located.
I think it's in a really cool place that I'm going to say any second.
Cool with a K?
Indiana Jones and
the
Not the queen, but the
The king
of
Pop.
Indiana Jones
The legend of the
crystal skull.
And the Viking Saga.
You don't give me any hints?
You're so close.
I did give you a hint.
I already used my lifeline.
She used it, yeah.
She's lifeline down.
Yeah, this is it.
It's coming down to this.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
How did you do that?
That's right.
Were you pretending to not know it that whole time?
I just remembered it.
Was someone mouthing it to you in the audience?
No, absolutely not.
I just had to dig around in my brain.
There's a bunch of stuff.
Someone said, ugh.
I didn't say, asshole.
What kind of crap did you have to dig up?
I said, brain.
Okay.
I said brain.
Okay.
This one I'm going to say is appropriate because the show is almost over.
Ender's Game.
Blade Runner 2049.
Yes.
See, I couldn't remember the year I would have done.
I kept thinking 2020, but I'm like,
that's like next year.
I don't think that's it.
We're both robots.
Harrison, the word is replicate.
This is stupid.
Whose turn is it, Dustin?
Yeah, six days, seven nights.
Oh, you son of a gun
oh nice
little Anne Heche
right there
that's a tough one
though
because I never know
if it's seven days
and six nights
or
six nights
and seven days
I think it was
six days
seven nights
I think you're right
yeah
I think you
absolutely right
I watched that movie
so many times
oh my god
I'm out
Amy's out
so it's just me and Michael and Dustin
and I'm going to go for my next Harrison Ford
a favorite
of no one
Force 10
from Navarone
yeah wait till you hear the next one
I'm going to say it's even
blamer
Michael
I am fucked I need a lifeline.
Go lifeline. What do you got, Karen?
Six Days, Seven Nights
was the only thing I had.
Six Days, Seven Nights is your only
Harrison Ford movie that you like?
Does someone have a phone?
Does somebody have a phone?
Karen.
Do you want to phone a friend?
Karen, that's it.
That's it.
Karen is no help.
Oh, someone's telling Karen something to say.
Clear and present danger.
Clear and present danger.
Damn, that is good.
Of course.
I'm going to have to
lifeline Sam.
Okay, Dustin's going lifeline.
On air? No, we didn't.
You're thinking of Air Force One.
You're thinking of Nicolas Cage.
Call your dad.
He's high watching a Harrison Ford movie right now.
Oh man, really? That's all you got?
Yeah, Con Air.
He's not even in that. I'm sober 120 days. Oh, man. Really? That's all you got, Con Air? What? Oh, man.
He's not even in that.
I'm sober 120 days.
The way it's not working.
Let me think.
Put down the bunny.
It's what Harrison Ford.
42?
In Con Air.
42.
I'll take that.
42.
Yeah.
Yes, he was in that.
Yeah, he was in 42, and I'm not going to quote things he said in that movie.
Yeah, he was in 42, and I'm not going to quote things he said in that movie.
Hey, Harris Ford, you want to come on down to the set and say the N-word?
Yes!
You just want to do it here?
What, Ford?
We could do it in my house. Just film me right now.
I'll do it anywhere.
Here, I'm going to turn on some...
Oh, man.
Come on, Ford.
No, he actually says Negro a bunch of times, but nonetheless, it's still weird.
All right, it's back to me and I can go even
more obscure and weird and nobody
liked it Harrison Ford
Hanover Street
uh huh
uh huh
we still got a Jack Ryan dangling out there
oh fuck
yeah oh yeah speaking of the hunt for Red October um We still got a Jack Ryan dangling out there. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaking of the hunt for Red October.
What's the one with Brad Pitt?
Well, you're not supposed to help him.
He's trying to play over here, Josh.
Michael wants to win this thing fair and square.
Yep.
I'm fucking blank.
I can't think of anything.
All right, well. I'm out. It was a good square. Yep. I'm fucking blank. I can't think of anything. All right, well.
I'm out.
It was a good effort.
Yep.
Dustin, I think you...
Did I win just now?
I think you prevailed, but...
Oh, yeah!
Well, then that's the end of the game.
I won.
That is awesome.
Do you have another one?
I do.
I was thinking...
K2, Widowmaker, or K19? That's it. Submarine movie. Yeah or K19 suffering movie
yeah
K19
classic suffering
K9
teen
that's the one
that Bon Jovi's in
it's about
it's about a
K9 cop
that's also a teenager
K19
K19
but Widowmaker
because it's this
just dog cop
that goes around
biting people
in the throat
until they're dead.
And Steely Dan did the soundtrack.
K-19.
Yeah, nail that gift certificate.
There you go.
All right, that's enough.
Shut up, Sam.
And congratulations, Dustin Ibarra.
Yes, thanks, Sam. Didbarra Sam did it
we did it man
Sam come well I'll bring it to you
I guess we got a whole box full of stuff
I'll shove it over your way
and congratulations and Amy
you know what comes now
yes I love structure
plug plug plug
okay well the important one is August 9th and 10th.
I'll be at Liquid in Boise.
If you live in Boise, please come see me.
And then follow me on Twitter at Amy Miller.
And that's all of it.
Okay, Amy Miller, everybody.
Oh, listen to my podcast.
Amy Miller, everybody.
It's called Who's Your God?
It's really fun.
Listen to my podcast.
Yay, Amy Miller.
Thank you. Yes. Destiny Bar really fun. Listen to my podcast. Yay, Amy Miller. Thank you.
Yes. Destiny Barra.
Yes, just my website,
destinybarra.com, Instagram,
Facebook. I got a bunch of tour dates coming up.
And I got a podcast with my buddy Anthony Perez at El Paso
called Borderline Funny,
where we talk about borderline stuff.
Because you guys know I'm Mexican, right? So I can talk about that shit.
I'm like Taco Bell mexican but still it counts
not taco truckman i thought it was about mental health oh no that's like way i can't even do
josh wolf uh comedian josh wolf.com for tour dates i'm doing a tour of the uk i leave here
on the 19th so we have some dates in Ireland and in
England coming up.
That's great, Josh.
I can't wait to see you.
Thank you.
I can do a podcast. I can't make it.
Thank you, Dougie.
I do a podcast with
Freddie Prinze Jr. called Prince and the Wolf, and you can
check it out on iTunes and every other place.
Which one are you, the Prince or the Wolf?
And Stuber's in theaters now, Michael Dallas.
Go see it this weekend.
Whatever.
Very funny movie.
Right away.
Yeah, go have fun with Stuber right away
because that's how the business works.
That opening weekend is important.
I forgot to give...
I had two more shirts to give away.
Woo!
Oh, that one just floated in like a ghost.
Yeah, I don't know what else I wanted to plug.
Oh, I'm going to be at the Traverse City Film Festival
August 1 through 3.
And do you guys
like coming out to Flappers
for the show today?
Because if they will let me,
I think we should do it here again.
I think it's a fun...
It's JD's birthday. You want to throw him a shirt?
Okay.
Sorry, JD. Sorry, JD.
Sorry, buddy.
Sorry.
You want birthday water?
Yeah, throw water at him.
That'll be cool.
He said no.
So, yeah, thank you to Flappers for having us.
It's been a while.
It's nice to be back.
And one more time for all my guests,
Amy Miller, Dustin Ibarra, John Fills, Michael Dowse, Kosi Stuber.
As always, positive energy!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!
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