Doug Loves Movies - Amy Miller, Sean Jordan, Sean Sakimae and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: November 24, 2016Love from the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Amy Miller, Sean Jordan, Sean Sakimae and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privac...y and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Bubba's Movies.
Oh, nice one.
Good job, you guys.
Oh, nice one.
Good job, you guys.
I just quit drinking for 30 days.
And today is day one of back drinking.
And I'm feeling pretty good about it.
We're coming to you from the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego!
It's an annual event now.
How many years have we done Doug Loves Movies
on the night before Thanksgiving?
Does anybody know?
Somebody guessed 15.
So
that's a high person.
Somebody said five?
That's the number? Five times?
Before that, I used to do a stand-up
show before Thanksgiving.
It's just a fun time to be in downtown
San Diego the night before Thanksgiving. It's just a fun time to be in downtown San Diego
the night before Thanksgiving.
It's Wednesday, November 23rd,
and I'd like to see some Jive-ass name tags.
Get it?
Instead of saying turkey, I said...
Jive-ass.
28 Danes later.
I like it.
The Sam lot.
Sleep Jess in Seattle.
Sam and Jess, number one and two online tonight
outside the club.
So congratulations for them, to them.
What is it? Is that your initials all lit
up mke oh it just says Mike and well how is that movie related to just have your name Mike and white lights. Light Mike.
Oh, Light Mike?
It's a little bow-wow.
It's a little bow-wow.
Wait, but it just says Mike.
Where's the like part?
Oh, you wrote like in a not illuminated area.
There's another sign back there.
There's a couple of them that have lights all around them,
but the lights don't light up what's in the middle,
so I still can't see what's going on with your poster.
We have a Passion of the who?
Krista?
Passion of the Krista?
Oh, I would not like to see you crucified,
even though it is the holiday season.
Empire Strikes who? Matt. Empire Strikes who?
Matt?
Empire Strikes Matt?
Okay.
And you got Sam Levine on there?
He's not here today.
What's this planes, trains, and automobiles thing about?
Pains, gains, and Donniemobiles.
What?
Pains, gains, and Donniemobiles?
You are super counting on Mark Wahlberg to be here.
Sorry about that.
That should be a new part of the show.
I list off people who are not here.
We narrow it down, but I think for the first time
and thanks for bringing the name tags
and thanks for bringing up the house lights. I think for the first time in the... Thanks for bringing the name tags and thanks for bringing up the house lights.
I think for the first time in the history
of doing this in San Diego,
we have four guests here tonight.
But first, listen to this boring shit.
Doug Pluggs.
Listen to these cities you guys aren't in
for shows that are coming up that you don't care about. Doug plugs. Listen to these cities you guys aren't in
for shows that are coming up that you don't care about.
New York City, I'll see you this Sunday
for Doug Loves Movies.
We added the show on Sunday
because Monday's 12 Guests of Christmas is sold out.
Gramercy Theater, 8 o'clock Sunday.
Also good guests on that show. So for
the listeners of this podcast, you've got
about 14 to
20, somewhere
in that range.
14 to 19
great guests on
Sunday and Monday. San Antonio,
I'm doing the Douglas movies
on December 3rd at 420.
Austin, Texas, December 12th.
That's at nighttime. And don't forget
my annual holiday
taint shows
in California, right
here in Cali. Stand-up
December 27th at the Irvine
Improv and December 29th
at the Punchline in Sacramento.
Plus,
can't get enough of you guys,
Doug Loves Movies returns to the American Comedy Company
right here, like a month from now,
Monday, December 26th, day after Christmas.
And I think you guys that are here tonight
are the first ones to know that it's on sale,
and I think you can also buy tickets on your way out tonight, if you're super into planning ahead.
Who's got plans for Monday, December 26th?
I do.
I expect to see all the same faces.
I expect to get high with you outside after the show, and then you forget you bought tickets
and you buy a couple more online,
and this place is even more empty next time.
I bought four seats.
It's a good cause.
For more info on those shows and many more,
lots of shows always coming up,
go to douglosmovies.com
Douglasmovies.com.
Douglasmovies, the show that becomes increasingly more fun to be at
than to listen to.
From the corrections department,
oh boy, did anybody listen to the show
we recorded yesterday?
Okay, so these won't be spoilers
for you guys.
Everybody else is going to be like,
haven't even heard this yet.
Steve Zahn is in happy Texas,
not Paris, Texas.
Paris, Texas, of course,
stars Harry Dean,
Last Man Stanton.
And Jason Schwartzman
was not in Loser.
That was Jason Biggs.
Who, in my opinion, is more of a loser.
Now it's time for a tweet.
Between Jason Schwartzman and Jason Biggs,
I mean, seriously,
one of them's awesome and the other one is Jason Bakes.
Goddamn pie fucker.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
I, Doug Benson, tweeted this.
Tweet Relief tweets about movies.
I, Doug Benson, tweeted this.
If there isn't someone spinning records under the name DJ Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them, there should be.
This has been Tweet Relief.
Just kidding.
Rowling edition.
J.K. Rowling. Okay, so...
The prize bag...
My four guests are such conscientious prize bringers
that you're going to get three amazing things from them
plus one other thing.
But I brought a...
What do you call these things?
It's like a, uh, a water bag, a water bottle, but it's like a bag.
I don't know.
But it's, but it says sausage party on it.
And it's got a sausage party face on it.
And you're, I guess you go hiking with it on your belt or something?
You drink from it?
It gets better.
A really cool Transformers
slash soccer jersey, I guess?
Like this part up here is real rubbery feeling.
Here, feel how rubbery that is.
Feel the top part. It's all rubbery.
Yeah, they confirmed it. It's rubbery.
And, oh, a Peacemaker pipe that's only been used once.
And, oh, and all this stuff is in a beautiful ash versus evil dead bag might be one of the last
ones i have and uh let's get my guests out here i'm so excited that these four folks are uh here
in san diego with us tonight the night before thanksgiving i guess none of them have families. Please give a big, warm welcome
to Sean Jordan, Amy Miller,
Sean Sacamai, and Jeff Tate!
Hi!
Hi!
Hi, everybody.
Hey, San Diego.
You okay, Jeff?
I dropped my water.
You got it, though?
You just had a hard night.
Yeah, I found it.
I got it.
It's right here hard night. Yeah, I found it. You picked it up? I got it.
It's right here, everybody.
Right?
Let's meet everybody individually.
And this is the first time they've probably ever had five mics on this stage, so hopefully
we won't get a lot of feedback.
We won't be hearing the mics saying, this show is boring.
Oh, there show is boring.
Oh, there it is right away.
That was the sixth guest.
Feedback. Okay.
That was like in a movie,
whenever somebody's nervous to make a speech
into a microphone in a movie or TV show,
the microphone feeds back like it senses nervousness.
It's like the mic's either going to work or it's going to not.
That's up to the nerds working the microphone,
not the person speaking into it.
Let's meet Amy Miller, everybody.
Let's meet the Miller.
Let's meet the Miller.
So majestic.
This stage is so dope.
I've never been to this comedy club before.
It's a very nice room.
Yeah.
It's a basement room.
To work here.
I'll wash dishes.
Comedians love a basement.
I'll shine this eagle.
I'll do anything.
I can tell jokes.
Yeah, it's so great.
It's like San Diego came to life.
It's just like patriotism and candles.
Do you want to freak out a little bit?
I am freaking out a little bit.
Turn around and look at the eagle and see how it's still lit,
even though you're sitting right in front of it.
Like it's impossible to cast a shadow on the eagle.
You should never cast a shadow on America, Doug.
No, don't do it.
It's bad for America.
I love it.
It's so beautiful in here.
Yeah, I wish that eagle didn't have to die to be here.
But I love the American Comedy Company.
And thank you, Amy, for being here.
Thank you.
And yeah.
Portland, Oregon, comedy phenom.
Now Los Angeles, comedy tornado. That's true.
My mom's soon of
Glendale.
So you having fun
in SoCal? Yeah, it's going good
so far. Right? Winter's not bad.
It's fine. Yeah.
I swim and cry.
That's the thing about California.
There's plenty of activities.
Yeah, hike, walk dogs.
Jeff laughed louder than anybody in the room
and he moved the microphone away from his face.
Not fair.
Let's say hello to a...
Is benefactor the right word?
I don't know.
Sean Sacamai is here.
Let's hear it for him.
Hi.
He became a member of the Douglas Movies family
when he donated way too much
to Smile Train,
the great charity that fixes
Third World Nation children's cleft palates, cleft lips.
He donated way too much money to be a guest
on Doug Loves Movies and has been a recurring guest
ever since.
That's how good he is.
I'd be grateful more than anything.
That's how grateful he is.
He pays to be on the show.
The money doesn't go to charity anymore
It goes right in my pocket
Ream one way or the other
It was like I was on a Halloween ride
For a second
I just wanted everybody to know
Why I usually pull the mic away
Yeah
You blew the sidekick audition in two different ways.
Does this guy either not laugh or laugh too loud?
Is there no happy medium?
Oh, man, I never know when it's the sidekick audition
until I fuck it up.
Yeah, that's right.
Well, I just, could we get Jeff's organ in here?
Because he looks like he's going to play some blind music.
Should we put a fence up so it's like Roadhouse
and you're the blind guy?
Yeah, man.
Listen, I know.
Shade.
I've been to San Diego before,
and you guys are all like cool surfer dudes.
So I figured I'd put my shades on, too.
Girls don't surf all of a sudden, Jeff?
Yeah, they can't hear it on the podcast,
but it's definitely full of cool surfer dudes in here.
That's all I see.
Everybody's doing the shaka.
The coolest.
Real quick, let me give you guys a surf report for tomorrow.
You're going to need to wear a full suit.
Jeff hung out in a different green room tonight.
Right under that wave, bruh.
It's called the green room if you served.
Yeah, okay.
We got two Sean's on this stage. That's Sean
Jordan, everybody. Talking
to Jeff.
Sean
Jordan,
Sean Sacamai. I say we
call it Sean Diego for just
tonight.
There's a good Sean
and a Sean that paid to be on this show.
You both paid.
I had to pay in a car ride
with Amy Miller.
What does she listen to in the car?
Does she play music? Me.
Just talk about life.
We had a good conversation.
Yeah, we just talk. We're real friends.
Not just comics.
Sounds like you both paid to be here.
Put your shades back on.
Yeah, the shades are off on Jeff Tate, everybody.
What's happening, dudes?
Congratulations on being the new paper towel guy.
Is it brawny or bounty?
I get them confused.
It's brawny.
Because I'm brawny.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
And is this my part of the show?
Why did you...
I think you look kind of downy, too.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, no.
You mean downsy.
I'm sorbit.
Yeah, not downsy.
Downy.
No, I said...
Whoa, I don't think anybody thought that, Doug.
Yes, they did.
I think they did.
Everybody groaned.
That's why everybody groaned. That's astonishing that you guys thought that I meant that. anybody thought that, Doug. Yes, they did. I think they did. Everybody groaned. That's why everybody groaned.
That's astonishing that you guys thought that I meant that.
That means it's real.
That's not even...
What did you think all the groaning was for, Jeff?
Now I feel like an asshole.
You're a pussy.
Go ahead, Jeff.
No, I don't...
Yeah, you gotta learn to read the crowd.
I didn't mean that, Jeff. No, I don't... Yeah, you gotta learn to read the crowd. I didn't mean that, seriously.
No, but everybody went and took it that way.
That's the fun of communication.
I think you're Charmin.
So Charmin, this guy.
I can fix this.
You're super AIDS-y tonight.
What'd you bring for the prize bag and could you put it in a
contamination-free bag?
I got snickerdoodle cookies
from 7-Eleven.
Oh, okay.
Pass those down.
And an Office Christmas Party shirt
from the upcoming movie,
Office Christmas Party.
When did you get that?
I got it yesterday.
How?
At an Office Christmas party.
Are you in the movie?
That lady from Paramount had a few,
and she was like, do you want one?
And I said yes.
And then I gave it here,
because she handed me a large.
In here.
Ah!
She didn't recognize all your bounty.
I get it.
I get it now.
I said it wrong.
Sean, what'd you bring for the bag?
Well, I didn't... Sean Jordan.
I should use last names.
Sure.
We've got a two Sean situation.
I honestly wasn't expecting to be on the show,
so I just came down to chill,
so I didn't have too much time to buy.
I brought a bunch of Sour Patch Kids,
and you're goddamn right.
You're goddamn right.
So far, this is exactly what you gave
the last time I was on the show with you.
You didn't know that I brought
red, white, and blue glasses for the bar,
so I brought those, because those are all back there.
And also some chocolate-covered cherries.
So, you know, that's what I got.
I apologize. It's not the best.
You just did a joke about a thing in the room
that the listeners don't get and the audience can't see.
That's the most limited
look at that joke there was.
Yeah, take your day out on me.
Take your day out on me.
If that makes you feel better, Jeff,
I can handle it, because we're good friends.
There's a reason we have each other's names.
I don't like this.
We might have to rearrange the seating.
Amy?
Well, I know the holidays can be a very hard time for everybody.
So I have a holiday loneliness starter kit.
Number one is a back scratcher because your shit itches
and there's nobody there to scratch it.
Okay?
That's nice.
That's nice. That's nice.
I got...
Are there any loners with name tags here tonight?
Okay, good.
When I say my shit itches,
I'm not talking about my back.
You can use this scratcher...
You can reach the other spots, probably.
...on other areas.
They call it a back scratcher,
but you can use it for balls.
Yoda Christmas lights.
When fingers just won't get it done.
Here's a wooden stick.
A string of Yoda Christmas lights.
Oh, those are awesome.
He's dressed as Santa.
Why?
Why does he need that big red coat?
He's already got magical powers.
Just don't tell Yoda you're going to try to put those lights up.
There are no lights.
This is just some oven-roasted turkey breast.
If you get hungry, I got you.
That's the perfect loner snack.
Something that'll make you sleepy.
Tryptophan, dog.
Fall asleep scratching yourself.
You want those, don't you?
Those are lights.
You just said they're not lights.
No, they are lights.
That's a terrific, that's a wonderful gift bag.
Probably the best we've ever gotten.
Sean, you just pass that stuff over.
We don't have to talk about it.
What do you got?
Let's see, I got a freezable water bottle
from the Venetian in Las Vegas.
Whoa, that is pretty.
Right?
You got that at Lipstick's
where you go see female comedians.
It's filled with anal beads.
Spoiler.
Doug knew just what to do with them.
I also got a picture frame
from the same place.
Picture frame?
Give me that.
From the Venetian?
I went and saw Garfunkel
when I was in Vegas.
What a practical item
for somebody to win tonight.
Is that a price tag on that? Whatever picture
you put inside of it, people are gonna
you know, you're gonna. Oh, it says the
palazzo on the frame. Oh, that's so fancy.
That's not fancy. Beautiful.
That's tacky as fuck.
Yeah, that's why I want to get rid of it.
There's a bottle opener.
Does it say palazzo on it?
Did you just go to Las Vegas recently? This is a beer koozie that's a bottle opener. Does it say Palazzo on it? Did you just go to Las Vegas recently?
Yep.
This is a beer koozie that's a football.
Pac-12 Network beer koozie.
Yeah.
The pig died to make that.
And then a DVD copy of a movie I loved,
10 Cloverfield Lane.
Yay, 10 Cloverfield Lane.
And all in a bag.
All in a bag. Thanks, dude. Thanks for bringing it in a bag. All in a bag.
Thanks, dude.
Thanks for bringing it in a bag.
Hit fix, it says on it.
Yeah, something I got for seeing Star Wars.
Like a screening.
Oh, okay.
What was the last movie you saw, Sean Sacamai?
Like Fantastic Beasts in the theater,
but most recently was an Asian horror movie
called The Wailing.
What if that was all one title?
Just one really weird movie.
I think it was the original.
The Wailing?
The Wailing, yeah.
It's like two and a half hours.
Are there whales in it?
No.
W-A-I-L.
Oh. So people sob wildlyI-L. Oh.
Yeah.
So people sob wildly?
A lot, actually.
Yeah.
A lot of whaling.
It's about like possession, like demonic possession.
It's really, really good, though.
Tense.
Real tense.
How can people see it?
iTunes.
That's where I saw it.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's really good.
Sounds like a holiday treat.
You know, when you're done talking politics
with your family, something to lighten the mood
Yeah, I like it
Amy?
Yes Doug?
Same question
Where is Aleppo?
What?
Aleppo?
I saw Doctor Strange most recently, and it was pretty good.
I'm just now getting into marijuana, 35 years old.
Thank you so much.
So I ate a little bit of a pumpkin-shaped gummy situation.
And then watched Doctor Strange? Yeah, the visuals were great. like a little bit of a pumpkin shaped gummy situation and then
and then watch Doctor Strange?
yeah the visuals were great
there were really awesome commenters
in the theater that were my favorite
part of everything
there was just a
I don't know that movie's not written that well
really there are just weird moments
where someone's like you can't change a river
and then someone would be like
that's true.
And I couldn't...
Speak on it.
And then, you know, there's just a bunch of jokers.
Like, there was a, you know, when he freezes time or whatever
and someone's like, mannequin challenge.
I was dying.
I mean, I think we should give hecklers a chance.
Heckler lives matter?
I don't know, though, because that's the problem.
It's like sometimes, like, sounds like they were consistent at that showing,
but, like, sometimes when a guy yells something out and gets a laugh then it becomes like now i'm the yelling stuff out
guy and none of the other things they say get a laugh it's just like oh no this is just gonna
keep going yeah you are strange and that's while watching
Hacksaw Ridge
are there any hacksaws
in Hacksaw Ridge?
Hacksaw Jim Duggan, he was a key grip on it
of course he would be the key grip.
You guys like PA stuff out there?
PA work? Sure.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
What was the last movie you saw, Sean J.?
It was Fantastic Beasts.
It was the same.
And I saw Doctor Strange the day before.
Where did you find them?
I found them at the Americana in Glendale, California.
Oh.
And they were fantastic, I'll tell you what
They wouldn't let me bring my coffee in though
So I pitched a little hissy fit
And then slammed my coffee
So I was very alert
You've never before encountered the no outside beverages rule
That they have at every movie theater
They always let it ride
Two 35 year olds going into a movie
At like 11 in the morning on a Wednesday with coffee.
I've never had somebody be like,
Wait a second, so you're saying children
shouldn't be allowed, but a 35-year-old?
When did I say kids shouldn't be allowed?
Well, 35 was an important number to you.
You were qualifying the age as being part of it.
I'm just saying me and my 35-year-old friend
went in with coffee.
Who was that?
So they've got 70 years of ignoring rules behavior
between them.
His name's Mike Coletta.
He's going to be excited that I said that.
You buy a cool-ass denim jacket.
I didn't have to buy one.
I was born with one.
Then you open that side pocket,
and you put your coffee in there.
You put it in there, and you use your elbow
to kind of hold it gently, and you cruise on in. And. You put it in there and you use your elbow to kind of hold it gently
and you cruise on in.
You know that it's going to be a problem
before you even try.
Doug, you know he walked in apologizing
before they knew anything.
He walked up and said, I apologize
for bringing in this coffee.
I'm so sorry.
If I put the coffee in the pocket of my jacket, then I wouldn't have had room
for the liquor that we drank during the whole movie. At 11 in the morning. Oh, well, you know, if you're If I put the coffee in the pocket of my jacket, then I wouldn't have had room for the liquor that we drank during the whole movie
at 11 in the morning with all the children.
Oh, well, you know, if you're trying to do the coffee thing
to distract from the liquor, then I understand.
But it sounds like you could have got the coffee in as well.
I didn't have pants on either.
That is also, I do that when I go through TSA.
If I got a bunch of weed in my backpack,
I'll leave a bottle of water, and they'll be like,
it's the water.
I'll be like, uh-uh.
I'm the same way,
but for
every bud I have, I make
sure I have a severed body part.
Right? It really
distracts them. It really takes them off the scent.
They don't even have college degrees.
What did this person just order in the front
row? Don't you
know I'm high?
What kind of
fucking crazy ass parfait?
It's an ice cream
sundae. You're so cute. What is that?
It's a mudslide. What's it called?
A mudslide?
Oh.
There's booze in there? It's alcoholic.
Don't worry.
Five mudslides, everybody. Bring them to the stage.
That's delicious.
Throw it at him.
Throw it at Doug.
What kind of booze do they put in a mudslide?
Kahlua vodka.
Kahlua vodka. And ice cream from the looks of it.
I feel like that would cause a mudslide
in my pants.
We're just going to talk about shitting our pants?
All right, fine.
I don't know.
I'm not like a shit comic.
I just brought it up.
Yeah.
No reason to bring up shit unless it's pertinent.
With a mudslide in the front row.
Where are we?
San Diego.
Who's next to tell me the last movie they saw?
It's me.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, I already know, unless you saw something today.
I did not see something today.
And I was going to say the movie I saw before the last.
Yesterday you were getting high all day.
All day. Yeah. Prof you were getting high all day. All day.
Yeah.
Professionally.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, the first part was on brand.
The last movie I saw before Office Christmas Party was Green Room.
Yeah.
And that movie is awesome.
It's intense.
Very intense.
Yeah, very scary.
Takes place over one night, just like Office Christmas Party.
Were you sad about Anton Yelchin having passed away recently?
Yes.
Yeah.
Because I also just saw that Odd Thomas movie he did, which he was really good in.
He's really good in everything he's been in. Yeah, he's great.
Everything he was in.
It was really sad that a vehicle crushed him.
But I guess it got recalled, that vehicle.
Did it?
Yeah.
Oh, what are the...
God damn it.
Right?
Why couldn't he just crush some nobody loser?
Yeah.
Why couldn't he crush that guy?
Why couldn't he crush the guy
I always get confused with, Anton Yelchin?
Who's that?
I don't know. I thought there was, Anton Yelchin. Who's that? I don't know.
I thought there was two Anton Yelchins for a while.
And I'll never know who the other one is.
Well, you might know who the other one is.
The next time you see him.
Are you thinking of Emile Hirsch?
Are we talking about Alpha Dog now?
Are you thinking of Shia LaBeouf?
I might be thinking of Emile Hirsch.
Emile Hirsch is good.
I'd be sad if he got crushed.
How in the world could you mix those two up?
I forgot that this was about crushing them.
I got sidetracked.
I mean, I don't want any of them to be dead.
Do you prefer smushed?
I smushed that crowd last night, Doug.
Smushed them good.
I just ordered a mud smush
for the front row.
That was gross. You're right.
You're right. You nailed it.
God damn it. I don't want
a software update. Thank you very much.
Your galaxy is trying to update?
I just hate that remind me later is the only option
Remind me never
Your updates are bullshit
They just change everything for no good reason
Have you ever gotten a tax return?
It's like if you came home to your apartment
And everything was in a different spot
Oh, we gave you an apartment update
But like a more efficient spot
It's not necessarily more efficient.
It's their version of more efficient.
I like paperwork everywhere.
You are a hundred.
It's not more efficient if you spend 20 minutes looking for something.
Right?
Every time.
Yeah, I know where shit is.
I didn't get on Instagram
for six months because they changed
what it looked like on my phone, and I just didn't
know what that app was.
Guess I lost it.
Yeah.
That company went under, I guess.
We'll be back with more
stupid confessions.
I got lots of them for after the break.
Oh, okay.
But this is the part of the show where Bert can turn it off
because I'm going to say, let the games begin.
Step out of the shadows.
We got lots of great name tags to choose from,
so go pick who you want to play for.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
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All right, we're back.
Great job, everybody.
Lots of good name tags.
Let's start with Sean S.
Sean S.
I have 28 Danes later instead of 28 days later.
And there's a nice picture of Doug Benson right there holding up a bong.
Yeah.
Holding up a bong that's from the artwork for the Chronicon movie filmed here in San Diego.
Sure is.
And in this club.
And 28 Danes later.
Good job, Dane.
Where's Dane at?
Oh, there you are.
I knew you were close by, but not that close.
Hey, Amy.
Hey, Doug.
What do you got?
I walked so far.
You really worked the room.
I was looking for a cross-section of religious or Christmas theme and snacks.
And the passion of the Krista really got me.
Yeah, I didn't even notice when we were talking about it earlier that she's got some Cheetos on there.
Are these pot leaves?
Jesus loved Cheetos, especially
when he was on the cross.
They're not pot leaves.
They're fake pot leaves.
Well, they're supposed to be if you're a crafter.
Passion of the Christa.
Yeah. And what are the other snacks
on there? Were there specific snacks that drew you to it?
You can change the lighting settings.
You got bottle caps, cracker jacks,
and Cheetos cron-sheet.
Ooh, I like bottle caps.
Did you hear me say I like bottle caps?
I'm gonna murder you.
That wasn't what I expected to hear after,
did you hear me say I like bottle caps?
Oh, did you hear I like bottle caps?
God damn it!
Yeah, you know, I don't eat sugar anymore,
but I do love bottle caps.
Plus whatever's inside the Cracker Jack box.
That's bonus.
I like Cracker Jacks.
I'll eat the prize as well.
It's all delicious.
Sometimes eat the prize.
Sometimes the prize eats you?
Sam Elliott stopped by.
Pretty good.
Yeah, Sean J.
What do you got?
You love this movie.
I do love this movie.
He loves Love Actually.
I love Love Actually, so I picked Love Ashley.
And it's got Christmas lights on it.
You don't have to pronounce it like that.
It's not Love Ashley.
Ashley, you spelled your name weird.
I thought your name was pronounced Ashley,
but you spelled it like the common Ashley,
which I knew a ton of in South Dakota.
Ashley, I thought was a San Diego native name.
Anyway, yeah, Love Ashley.
Can I have those lights when you're done with this?
Stop.
What, I'll put them up at my house
for you to house sit and feel some Christmas cheer.
How about that back scratch instead?
Because I have nobody.
It's not funny, you're right.
It's not fucking funny.
Is this the kind of banter that took you all the way
from Los Angeles to San Diego?
We mostly talked about how cool you were
that we got here.
That could take a while.
Key word, word. God, you're a while. That could take all three hours.
God, you're a prick.
Kidding, you're amazing.
Hey, listen, though.
The lights on that sign are great,
but Snoopy needs his doghouse decorations back.
Jeff, what do you got?
I play for Julia, the Julia of the Nile.
Oh.
Is your face on there?
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
That's why you picked it.
Yep.
I'm the Danny DeVito guy.
Oh.
Let's reboot that shit.
Yeah, me and you?
Yeah.
And Julia, I probably shouldn't say her whole name.
I don't know if that's cool.
We should get a tough girl to play the Michael Douglas part.
There you go.
Amy can play Michael Douglas.
Listen to that throat cancer.
And I'll play Kathleen Turner.
Doug, I'm pretty sure my voice is closer to Kathleen Turner's voice already.
It is, but you know, as an actor, I like to do roles that scare me.
Okay.
That's fair. And I'll be Danny DeV, I like to do roles that scare me. Okay, that's fair.
And I'll be Danny DeVito.
I'll do it Dorf style.
Like I just put shoes on my knees.
It doesn't always have to be a really short guy just because Danny DeVito played it originally.
Doug, I like to make strong choices with my acting.
And I choose to Dorf style this one.
The strongest choice you've made before
is to not act in anything.
I was in a movie.
Yeah, we talked about it last night.
Speaking of horror,
I saw you in my first scary role
this Halloween.
What?
I watched The Willies.
The Willies.
Who's seen The Willies?
Has anyone seen that?
Nobody.
Oh, it's a horror anthology for children.
It's not for children.
Well, kind of.
It has a child in it.
It's very scary, but...
She showed it to a bunch of kids.
Watch it.
My boyfriend's a kid, so he was scared enough.
Anyway, great job, Doug.
Oh, thank you very much.
There's a brief sequence early on where I'm a monster zombie thing that gets his arm torn off.
Yes.
But look at me.
I'm good.
I was wondering.
We totally, yeah, reattached it.
I never noticed Doug didn't have an arm.
Thanks to our longtime sponsor, Squarespace, for sponsoring us a long time. We reattached it. I never noticed Doug didn't have an arm.
Thanks to our long-time sponsor,
Squarespace, for sponsoring us long time.
Squarespace,
Squarespace, K3, said,
me sponsor you long time.
And I was like, oh,
me so sponsory.
Let's start with Jason and Deb's IMDB game. Sponsory.
Let's start with Jason and Deb's IMDb game.
In case any of you are not familiar,
it could happen.
We have multiple games on the show now.
Have you played this one before, Sean?
No, but I've heard it. Oh, that's Sean.
Oh, shit.
Were you looking at me? Wrong Sean.
That's what we'll call you from now on.
Sean and Wrong Sean.
My parents beat you to that 35 years ago. No, no. You're the right
Sean.
Aww.
I don't agree with that. Stick up for me, right, Sean? You're so cool with not being wrong, no, you're the right Sean. Aww. I don't agree with that.
Stick up for me, right Sean?
You're so cool with not being wrong Sean anymore
that you didn't stick up for me.
I thought we had each other's backs.
I got it, I figured it out.
Right Sean and Sour Patch Sean.
You like that.
Yeah, I'm into that.
It's not insulting.
No, I'm super into that.
You guys didn't seem that into that.
I was talking to a girl
who went out with you for a while.
She said there was a real Sour Patch in her life.
I know her.
Yeah, I guess I don't have feelings anymore, do I?
I'm just a puppet up here on the stage.
Yeah, let's play the game, whatever.
Honey, I got a wax today.
I hope you like my sour patch.
I mean, I could reference the ICP
show that I paid my own money to go to
in high school where they talk about, you know,
the patch.
Nobody wanted to hear it. Can I borrow
that back scratcher?
It reminds me of my ex-wife.
Right? She has a wooden hand.
She's mean.
I was trying to help Sean feel better.
That was so weird
to say that because
someone scratching your back is nice.
It's like a wooden hand
that's not real.
You're right next to me. You could scratch my back
with your real hand right now if you wanted to.
Yeah, but I'm not going to.
Is that why you broke up with her?
The wooden hand was giving you too many splinters?
We broke up because it wasn't giving me enough splinters.
Oh, okay.
It had been a while since I'd gotten any splinters, Doug.
Do you get it?
Yep.
Oh, you weren't fucking?
Like a mudslide.
You weren't mudsliding around here.
Donnie, Donnie, Donnie.
Here's how this game works.
Everyone's hurting tonight up here.
You buzz in.
I feel great.
You buzz in with your own name when you think you know what actor or actress I'm talking about. I'm going to list their top four credits on IMDb under the, you know, at the top of the page it says best known for.
And there's a weird metric that determines their top four.
And whoever buzzes in and gets the right answer gets to guess the remaining titles in their top four for bonus points.
But when you buzz in, you gotta be cautious
because if you buzz in and get it wrong, that's negative
one point.
Okay, go ahead.
You got this, Sean J.?
I thought it was Sour Patch Sean,
but yeah.
He really wants it to happen.
I'm into it.
Okay, SPS.
That's even daker.
That could be an Instagram handle before the night's over.
It's that app that you forgot about.
An Instagram handle.
I'm not on Instagram anymore.
As far as I know.
It was a callback.
You gotta put some minutes on your jitterbug, dude.
Then you'll have that fucking...
And the athlete right there.
Are you still looking at me?
Is everybody ready?
Yeah.
All right.
Here goes the first... Here goes the first...
Here goes the first...
First set of four.
Who's best known for...
Oh, and this probably
goes without saying, but
it's just between the people on stage.
I'm just saying, a lot of you might get
some of this stuff quicker.
Don't show off.
Not even
in a whispery way.
Sometimes you get people to whisper,
I go, what's the point of that?
Unforgiven.
We all still heard you.
You had to whisper loud enough to be heard.
Okay, here we go.
I am ready, yes.
All right, Disregard, Unforgiven.
I mean, it's a good movie, but...
Whose top four starts with West Side Story?
Rita Moreno. Amy!
You got it!
Amy Miller!
Thank you, because there's so many Amys up here.
It's for the brand, Doug.
Now, are you sure you don't want to hear a second title
before jumping in?
Because there's a lot of people in West Side Story.
I know.
No, I just want people to know that I know
that Rita Moreno was in there.
Okay, so that's your guess?
Yeah.
Incorrect.
I know, right?
She made her choice.
I tried to stop her.
Tried to stop her.
Gentlemen.
Amy's got to sit the rest of this one out.
I do?
Yeah.
I thought I just had negative one.
You can only guess once.
Yeah, but you can only guess once per round.
That's fine.
I mean, you're going to know it probably after the second title.
Maybe not.
Are there crickets in there?
Before three of us, I'm sure.
No, they're cleaning up.
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
It's a big day tomorrow.
People want to get out of here early,
so they're cleaning the club during the show.
A lot of comedy clubs feed the homeless on Thanksgiving.
Very generous industry.
Yeah, no, not this one.
They're going to lock the doors,
and they even hire a guy to kick people
that come around looking hungry.
What if somebody was homeless because they went to so many good meals and they were never
hungry they just paid all their...
No?
Alright, West Side Story is the first one.
The second title is Rebel Without a Cause.
The third title is The Searchers
and the fourth title
is Splendor in the Grass
you know what I always say
Splendor in the Grass
ass or cash
I don't pick up hitchhikers.
No one splendors for free.
No guesses, fellas?
No.
The correct answer there is Natalie Wood.
Oh, Natalie Wood.
You could have named every movie
ever made and I wouldn't have gotten
Natalie Wood.
Tragic death.
If you had gotten down to how she died,
I would have been able to guess it.
Fell off a boat,
Christopher Walken was there.
Jeff, Jeff.
What's your answer, Jeff?
What's your answer? Natalie Wood.
That's correct.
I should have waited because I'm the only one
that's seen that movie a trillion times.
I tried to tell you to wait.
I don't listen to you.
Yeah.
All right, so Jeff and Sean and Sean are all tied with zero.
Dead heat.
And Amy's trailing with negative one.
A real barn burner on our hands.
And that's okay.
All right, here's the first title of the next group of four.
We're playing three rounds of this
and I also got a tiebreaker ready to go
if necessary.
Chinatown.
Now you're
playing this right. It is funny when people say Chinatown. You're playing this right. It is funny when people say Chinatown.
You're playing this right.
The second title.
Network.
Jeff.
Who is it, Jeff?
Faye Dunaway.
That's correct.
That's correct.
Now you get to attempt to name two more Faye Dunaway films.
Okay.
The Thomas Crown Affair.
And.
And.
The.
Remember the one where she's like, no more wire hangers.
Wait, that's. It's not that one. That's not that one more wire hangers. Wait, that's...
It's not that one.
That's not that one, no.
No.
That was Norma Rae.
Norma Rae?
What?
That's Marilyn Monroe.
That's what it said on their protest signs in Norma Rae, no more wire hangers?
Yeah, that's what they were protesting.
They wanted plastic hangers.
The wire hangers were getting bent and fucking up their sweaters.
And coats
What's your second guess?
My second guess is
What is that fucking
The postman always rings twice
She wasn't in that
Yeah the remake
She wasn't in that one either
The postman rang again
The postman won't stop ringing
They went with Bonnie and Clyde and Three Days of the Condor Postman rang again. It rang for a third time. The Postman won't stop ringing.
They went with Bonnie and Clyde and Three Days of the Condor.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
A couple classics.
Was Faye Dunaway in the first movie I said?
Nope.
The Thomas Crown Affair?
Oh, yeah, maybe.
Yeah, I think she was the therapist.
With Steve McQueen?
Yeah, I think she was.
Okay.
No, she was in the Pierce Brosnan one.
Oh, she was in the Pierce Brosnan one?
I think she was the therapist in that one.
Okay.
And Mommy Dearest.
Yeah.
That's what I meant.
That's the wire hanger thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got nothing to add to this.
I'm sorry, I just don't.
All right.
Well, we got Jeff is in the lead with one point.
Woo!
Jeff is in the lead with one point.
Woo!
Sean and Sean might as well be one person because they've got nothing.
We've got each other.
And Amy's got a lot to prove.
So far we have Natalie Wood and Faye Dunaway,
and here's the third round.
American Beauty.
Sean S.
Sean S. Jumping in early. I like this.
What do you say?
Annette Bening?
That is correct.
That's what I thought!
Sean! So good!
So good! So good So good
Alright Seanis
What else you got
For this is your chance
To just walk away with this thing
All you gotta do is get one out of three
And you are in business
Let's go with
The American President
Two more Two more business. Let's go with The American President.
And I am completely blanking on two more happening movies. Two more.
Two more.
It's not a two more. It's not a two more.
Jeez. What's the one she's in with?
Warren Beatty.
Something beauty. No.
Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
I was so cocksure when I said that.
Just in case you didn't know.
I am drawing a blank on two more Annette Bening movies.
Is that from Kindergarten Cuck?
So you want to give up?
Yeah, I'll just go with American President.
I'm excited that you gave up, and I'll tell you why in a second.
The movie you mentioned,
American President,
didn't make the cut.
They went with
The Kids Are Alright,
Mars Attacks,
and The Siege.
Damn it.
Yeah.
It's weird.
You never know what IMDB
is going to go with
even though IMDB.
So Sean, S, and Jeff
are tied.
They have to go one more round.
Just them.
Get excited, everybody.
It's the best way to work off all that calories
you're going to have tomorrow
is by being excited about this tonight.
Yeah, exercise isn't an option.
It's just this.
No, no.
This is all we have.
Look at anybody
who's got amazing abs.
They also love to laugh.
They always have
the best sense of humor
when people with great abs.
Fabio is hilarious.
Because they're laughing.
They're always laughing
at everything.
All right, so this is
Amy and Sean.
Sarah Pat Sean have to sit this one out.
Yeah, SPS is out.
Why do we have to sit this one out?
They're tie-breaking.
This is a tie-breaker just for this game.
We've got other games.
Can I have a Jameson on the rocks, please?
And then I'll sit out?
Yeah, give him a consolation Jameson on the rocks.
Can I have a Jameson and ginger?
Give her a possibly about to win Jameson and Ginger.
Anybody else?
I'll take a Tito's and Soda, please.
Oh, give him a Tito's and Soda.
Also possibly about to win.
Here we go.
The first movie.
It's Bonnie and Clyde.
It's just Jeff and Sauness.
Does one of you have the nerve to pull the trigger?
Jeff.
Oh, Jeff is going for it.
Who is it, Jeff?
Warren Beatty.
That is correct.
We just did an F-ending, Sean.
You idiot.
What a dum-dum.
For fun, Jeff, do you want to guess
three more Warren Beatty movies?
Sure.
Go.
Bullworth, Dick Tracy, and The Parallax View.
Bullworth, Dick Tracy, and Reds.
Two out of three.
Nice.
And of course, Natalie Wood, Faye Dunaway, and Annette Bening were all famously paired up with Warren Beatty
in motion pictures over the years.
Warren Beatty's new movie, Rules Don't Apply,
opened today, and I'm seeing it with my mother tomorrow.
Aww.
That's the mom movie. That's a perfect mom movie.
It is. She knows all about fucking...
I always call him Hugh Hefner.
Howard Hughes.
Howie Hughes.
My mother knows the whole story, and I bet you
this movie doesn't have one single bottle
with piss in it.
They always gloss over
that he bottled up his piss.
He had to make money somehow.
The DiCaprio one had tons of
bottles of piss. I don't know where you were
during that scene. You probably ran to the bathroom.
That's why I didn't miss it.
I went in a bottle.
Did you get it?
Message in a bottle. Did you get it? Message in a bottle.
Alright, you guys. Let's play
another fan favorite.
How high can you get?
My answer is on a scale of one
to so. Right now, I am
so high.
Oh, look at this.
Thank you, nice lady.
What's your name?
Christina.
Christina, thank you so much.
Let's hear it for Christina.
Thank you, Christina.
She turned to the crowd like a pro.
Gave them a, like, that's right, I'm Christina.
She's got a lot of charisma.
Yeah.
Tip all the waitstaff here.
They always do a great job here at the American Comedy Company.
And, you know, if you go to the communist comedy company across town,
just remember that you don't have to pay for anything.
Just have to get through that long line.
What is this?
This is a roll of toilet paper. Yeah, no show
today. Just toilet paper.
In my country, the
toilet paper's you.
Right? It's just Yakov Smirnoff.
Thanks, Yakov. Every night.
How High You Get is a game where we get a genre of film or a type of film or, you know, it's kind of up for interpretation,
but we get an idea from somebody in the audience
who's been preselected, and then we take turns naming movies
that only have one word in the title
that, you know, pertain to that topic.
And then each round, we add a word.
So you have to do a one-word movie the first round,
then a two-word the second, three-word after that.
Everybody has to answer.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
Who won that last game?
Jeff.
Jeff won.
So, Jeff, you go first in this one.
Then we'll go to Sean, then Amy, then Sean, then me.
And where is Matt underscore Diamond?
Right here, Doug.
In the front row, of course.
I'm ready to do your taxes.
I'm right here, Doug.
So official.
Yeah, he sounded like his agent.
I'm right here, Doug.
Doug, you smoked a lot of marijuana earlier today.
I'm right here. I'm Doug, you smoked a lot of marijuana earlier today. I'm right here.
I'm here for you, 10%.
So what do you do, my diamond?
I'm in sales.
He's in sales.
Yeah.
Clearly very good at it.
He's with Mudslide Lady.
Yep.
That's why she's doing so well for herself.
Yeah, you can't afford a mudslide
unless you know a man who does sails.
That's how it feels.
I don't want you to go down as mudslide lady.
What's your name?
What?
What's your name?
Sarah.
Sarah.
I just want to be clear, it's not mudslide.
Mudslide Sarah.
Let's call you Mudslide Sarah, Sour Patch.
Mudslide Sarah. Mudslide Sarah.
Mudslide Sarah.
Sean, are you hitting on Matt Diamond's girl?
I would never hit on Matt Diamond's girl.
Fucking Matt Diamond sounds gangster.
I wouldn't do that.
So your name is Sarah Diamond?
Jesus Christ.
I want to call you Mudslid Sarah.
That's what we'll call you.
You're living all my dreams.
It didn't work. It didn't stick. Mud slid Sarah. That's what we'll call her. You're living all my dreams.
It didn't work.
It didn't stick.
Mud slid sounds so gross.
Hello, I'm Sarah Diamond, and I would like a mud slide, please.
Hello, I'm Matt Diamond.
I'd like her to pay for it, but we go home together.
My name is Matt.
My wife just mud slid.
My name is Matt.
You got to pick us up.
My wife just mud slid. Sarah just mud. Are you okay, Sarah? Are Matt. My wife just mudslid. My name is Matt. You gotta pick us up. My wife just mudslid.
Sarah just mud... Are you okay, Sarah?
Are you...
My wife just mudslid.
Please, send an ambulance.
Hi, I'm Dustin Diamond.
Excuse my brother, Matt.
I'll pay...
I'll pay for the Uber.
He'll be here next week
at the American Comedy Company.
Douglo's movies come for the trivia,
stay for the crowd work.
I'm sorry.
I just want to get hired.
Matt, what...
Matt, what do you got for us?
I'm a holiday movies.
What?
Holiday movies.
Holiday movies.
Listen, you son of a bitch.
There's a lot.
There is a lot.
No.
Any holiday or Christmas?
Any holiday.
That's fun, though.
I get dibs on Arbor Day murders.
Including Independence Day?
But every holiday?
Yeah, I think that counts as a holiday.
We'll have to have little quick debates,
but all decisions by me are final.
Jeff, start us off.
Give us a one word holiday movie.
Elf.
One word.
Sean?
Love actually.
Okay, what I need from you is a one word
holiday movie.
Oh, I apologize.
I thought we were doing an...
Never mind.
Damn it.
Now that foiled my whole thing.
It's something that a lot of people think we're doing,
even after I explain.
I apologize.
That everyone has to do a one-word title.
Then everyone does two words.
Also, it rotates
Your first next round
Yeah didn't mean to lay that on you
During this tender time
Do you have one?
A one word?
Halloween
Yes
I get it I just messed up momentarily
Yeah no you're right back on track.
Yeah, right back on the horse, Jeff.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, if I were strict, you'd be out already,
but you're right in there.
That would hurt my feelings.
Armageddon.
Wait.
It's a really big deal.
I gotta accept that.
I gotta accept that.
I have to accept that.
It's a big deal.
I gotta accept that.
I have to accept that.
It's a big deal.
It wasn't.
I bet it was a holiday.
Whatever fucking day it was,
I bet it was a holiday after.
It is now.
Shaughness.
One word holiday movie.
You got this, Seanus.
I don't know that I do.
One word.
We're going to play another game after this, so there's no shame in dropping out.
You got it.
Any holiday, just run through your head all the holidays.
I feel like Sabrina takes place over Christmas and New Year's.
Sabrina?
I'm not going to give you that.
It does, right?
That's a Christmas movie, yeah, 100%.
Alright, accept it.
Thank you, Amy.
Why are you booing?
Because it's not about Christmas at all.
It's on the two word, you also can't say
die hard or lethal weapon.
Oh, what?
Really?
You're out of your fucking mind. That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Watch me
break the rules. Watch me go against
the man. Watch it happen.
Wait, so you're for real? For my one word
holiday movie, I'm going with hop.
All right, so now Sean, dare defy me.
Die hard.
Okay.
Couldn't have said it quicker.
Couldn't have said it quicker.
Could not have said it quicker.
It is, it's my favorite Christmas movie,
but it's not a Christmas movie, really.
All right, Amy.
I'm going to go back to Halloween and say sleepaway camp.
Wait, was it too hard to say Halloween, too?
Yes.
Because sleepaway camp doesn't count.
No, it's a mess.
Sleepaway camp is a period of time.
Excuse me, what does summer camp feel like?
A fucking holiday.
Thank you so much.
Why don't you just say Independence Day and not... Yeah, you already brought up Independence Day.
Or Love, Ash, and Willie.
This is your Independence Day and you go sleep away camp.
Yeah.
It was a massacre movie.
It's a double holiday movie.
It's summer and Halloween.
What's your final answer?
Sleepaway camp.
You're out.
I gave her so many chances.
Sean?
Groundhog Day.
I don't want to be out.
Groundhog Day isn't a holiday for anybody.
Yes, it is!
Nobody gets the day off.
All right, all right.
Independence Day.
It's on the calendar.
That's the only reason I'm there.
You're going Independence Day?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm going Halloween, too.
Jeff?
Okay, I'm going Halloween too.
Jeff?
Love Actually.
Alright, so Sean, you have to start us off with a three word or...
Independence Day Resurgence.
Oh, okay.
Did that happen on the 4th of July again, though?
Is what we're all wondering.
It is in the title, though.
Yeah, I mean, it's called Independence Day,
which is a holiday.
I see where you're going with this.
I guess I can follow this.
So, it has to be a day where everybody gets it off.
So April Fool's Day doesn't count.
I'll go with New Year's Eve.
Huh?
It's kind of a contraction, so I don't know.
Yeah, no, it absolutely is a contraction,
and they make things into contractions so that they will form one word.
But also, it's not really a contraction,
because the apostrophe is to show ownership.
It's New Year's Eve.
Oh, snappy.
That's right.
Shit.
Now, as smart as that sounded,
check out this question.
How many words is 200?
Like, the number 200, how many words is it?
It's two words, right?
There's a holiday movie with the word 200 in it?
Yeah.
Lay it on me.
200 cigarettes.
It's a New Year's Eve movie.
I see what you're saying.
It's a New Year's Eve movie. Oh, I see what you were saying. Jim Jarmusch movie. It's a New Year's Eve movie.
It's in numerals, though.
Yeah, it's still three words.
It still represents three words.
Two, hundred, and cigarettes.
All right, a little easier.
The last holiday.
But you could call 200, since it is in numerals.
You could call it a two-worder.
200 cigarettes, but whatever.
I mean, there's no debating the last holiday.
We should just not allow...
Let's just not allow numbers. Jeff, you're
out. Sean?
Well, now I feel like an asshole.
I don't want that to be the case. Oh, okay.
Then you're back in. You didn't fight for me,
dick!
We all did.
We were begging you to say Independence Day
and you were refusing.
You had come up with this idea that having people stay over the night was a holiday.
Nobody at the camp works.
If there's a girl at the camp that's got a dick, it's a holiday.
So the last holiday?
That's your answer? That's your answer?
That's my answer.
That's a good one.
I knew it three times ago, dude.
Thank you.
Let's go four.
Let's get it.
All right, we're going for four.
Is that on me now?
Four?
Did you start with three?
No.
It's you, Doug.
Or is it?
Wait, who started the threes?
Sean did.
Yeah, I thought you started it.
Yeah, so I thought you started it.
Yeah, so I start the fours.
The fours are with me.
I'm going to go with...
The Star Wars joke.
Let's see what he did.
Christmas with the cranks.
My turn.
Yeah.
National Lampoon Christmas Vacation. Yes.
I don't want to say better,
but I want to say right there,
planes, trains, and automobiles.
Oh, shit.
Right on par.
That's like if I was a rock star.
Ampersands are not words.
You're out.
Oh, well, I have another one.
I have another one, if not. So neither of them are out? Jeff are not words. You're out. Oh, I have another one. I have another one, if not.
So neither of them are out?
Jeff's not out.
This isn't professional wrestling.
This isn't even fake wrestling.
Do you have one, Sean?
The Nightmare Before Christmas. That was the other one.
Nice.
That's two holidays in one.
All right, so we're over to you Jeff
For a five worder
Five word holiday movie
I've got mine
If that helps you
Um
You can do this It's gotta be five words? You can do this Yes it has to be five words?
You can do this.
Yes, it has to be five words.
I got a sweet six-worder, but...
Oh, that's going to be great later, maybe.
Well, what if we did this?
What if we had you say a five-word title?
Miracle on 34th Street.
No, no, no, no. I was on 34th Street. No.
No, no, no. I was playing the numbers. I was playing the numbers around.
Right? You make it work. You make it work
for you. It is A Miracle on
34th Street. Yeah, yeah. That's a problem.
A Miracle on 34th Street.
Yeah, you're fucking welcome.
You're welcome,
Jeff. Yeah. No, you're out. It You're welcome, Jeff. Yeah.
No, you're out.
It's the miracle on 34th Street.
Some miracles happen on 34th Street.
Sean, what do you got?
How the Grinch... Oh, you mother!
You mother!
Nicely done.
Oh, isn't that Dr. Seuss's?
Yes.
I got one.
I got one.
I got one.
Not the remake, was it?
Was it?
What?
Was it really?
The movie, yeah.
The movie has seven words.
Why?
What's the movie?
Do we need to get naked and wrestle?
Dr. Seuss's.
Is that real?
Sorry, dude.
All right.
I'll take it.
If that's what's happening, then I guess another James and another one won't kill me.
What can you do?
What can you do?
Do you want to try something else?
It really doesn't count.
All right.
Give me like 10 seconds.
I don't know.
I thought of one and now I already forgot it.
Because of the whole Dr. Seuss controversy.
It's tough.
Five is tough, yeah.
It's difficult.
No, I don't have one.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Sean S.
Damn it, I've got a 6.5.
Way to call me out, dude.
Way to stop the game.
I know.
I'm going to follow suit.
I don't think it actually falls on a holiday,
but live free or die hard.
I don't even want to...
It's actually called Dr. Seuss's
live free or die hard.
It actually falls on Independence Day.
Is it on Independence Day?
It's on the 4th of July.
Live free or die hard happens on the 4th of July. I wasn't sure. Live Free or Die Hard happens on the 4th of July.
I wasn't sure, so okay.
Because of the 4th of July.
Dog.
Which I think matters here.
Yeah, yeah.
At the what comedy club?
That's right, Jeff.
The American comedy club.
Company.
I've got a five word one.
It is a wonderful life.
So nobody got it.
Yeah, five was tough.
Five was tough.
I'm calling Sean S. the winner
of that game.
You lasted the longest.
I thought Jeff was the winner.
You were the last one with the right answer.
No, you got it.
Who's got a good fiver?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
is TV, get out.
He's got one right here in front.
You can stay, it's fine.
Someone said the Passion of the Christ?
Literally under my nose.
Yeah, but I...
I wasn't in anymore.
I was wrongfully eliminated, or I would have...
We'll have the last drink later.
What's the next? Any other ones?
Tyler Perry's Medea Christmas?
Tyler Perry's Medea Christmas?
I need you to leave as well.
I thought this was a white gathering.
I thought this was a liberal white gathering.
Downy, Downy, Downy.
Can we focus on that again?
Take it, bring the heat onto me,
even though I didn't know what I was doing, you know?
No big deal. Six words, anybody got a six word? No big. No big.
I can't believe we didn't say
Tyler Perry's boo at three words.
I'll be home for Christmas.
All I want for Christmas?
I'll be home for Christmas.
You'll be home for Christmas?
Where you going? Who's in that?
That's me.
Oh, Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
I need you to leave as well.
Also, A New Mom for Christmas,
starring Olivia Newton-John,
from the late 80s,
the only major character ever named Amy Miller.
Wow, it's all got to be about you.
And you didn't get a five-word movie.
A New Mom for Christmas.
Yeah, I don't believe that was a theatrical release.
I saw it on my TV, so...
There you go.
Because it's TV.
Six words, born on the 4th of July.
That was going to be my six.
That's a good one.
Did you know
Tom Cruise was born
on the 3rd of July?
Oh, a cancer.
That makes sense.
Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise was hatched,
actually.
He wasn't born.
Oh, he's a scheme?
I didn't get it.
I politely laughed, but I didn't get it. Because you hatch a scheme? Oh, sure, sure. Now I get it. I politely laughed, but I didn't get it.
Because you hatch a scheme.
Oh, sure, sure.
Now I get it.
Now I get it.
Seriously, Facebook.
Yeah, I'll come at you with word jokes sometimes.
It hurt me, man.
All my jokes use words.
I've seen you mime some hilarious shit.
Don't you lie about that.
Don't you lie about your mime skills.
I got mad mime skills, but I keep that separate.
Is there ever a mime with a full beard like that?
Like a real big bushy beard, but mime face on?
I don't think I've seen that.
They have paint dripping off of the beard,
and they're like, oh, sorry. What makes you think that just because I have a beard that I don't know how to paintime face on? I don't think I've seen that. Paint dripping off of the beard and they're like,
oh, sorry. What makes you think that just because
I have a beard that I don't know how to paint my
face up like the other mimes?
I just slather my,
I just put my face into paint
and I was like, is this right, fellas?
Dip it in and shake
it around. Is this right? Do I look like
a mime now?
You look like a lunatic when you're doing that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, there's plenty of juggalos with beards.
I once went to an ICP concert in high school,
paid my own money to go, so no big deal.
You mentioned this earlier.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I love talking.
That's the only reason that I started stand-up,
so I can talk about ICP.
I was in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I was a juggalo.
I worked at Hy-Vee, the grocery store.
We got another game or no?
Huh? What's up?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, we do have another game.
As soon as you're done with this, I'll get into it.
I'm going to bet Doug has a plan for what happens next.
I was waiting on you.
You're not waiting on me.
It stands for Insane Clown Posse.
Oh, my God.
The bands that opened were Twisted and Misery.
Twisted.
I'm a juggalette.
So Sean's going first in our last and final
game of the night.
And it's going to be a round of
Last Man Stanton.
And
of course.
A dude wrote to me on Twitter today
saying that things are tight
and he can't afford a ticket to the show tonight,
but he's got a great name for Last Man Stanton.
So I wrote back to him and said,
well, send it to me, you know,
while the show is in progress
so I can't see it ahead of time.
And then I'll look it up, and that's the name I'll play.
And here's what...
Let me give you his Twitter name.
Carney...
Carney Voodoo.
C-A-R-N-E Voodoo.
Sounds like he's been to an ICP show.
Somebody knows him?
You know Carney Voodoo?
And he really couldn't afford a ticket?
And he has shitty friends that wouldn't buy him a ticket?
You guys couldn't...
You couldn't scare up 30 bucks between a lot of you?
Well, I don't know.
He said things were tight.
That could mean anything.
Right.
Maybe he can't get into his wallet because it's so tight.
Or he's having a way tighter time right now.
And didn't invite any of those losers.
Hey, you want to go to Doug Loves Movies?
Nah, things are tight.
I'm good where I'm at.
Nah, shit's tight tonight.
You guys have fun, though.
I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what.
I've always wanted to hear strangers list
Annette Bening movies, though,
so I'll tweet at them.
So he suggests that we play
Tommy Lee Jones.
Tommy Lee Jones.
So that's what we're stuck with.
And I'm going to play along, of course.
And Sean, you start us off.
TLJ. And each of you start us off. TLJ.
And you get
each of you gets one lifeline. You can go to
the person whose name tag you picked once.
But if you miss, you're out.
And this is for all the marbles.
We have a deep cut, Ashulie.
Deep cut. The fugitive.
I like it.
Amy? It's like the only one I can think of right now. I like it Amy
it's like the only one I can think of right now
Krista
yeah whatever she says
Krista
might help us
what's that
yeah I know but it seems easy when you're out there
but we get nervous up here
she's doing the right thing fuck you're out there, but we get nervous up here.
She's doing the right thing.
Fuck.
You're so right.
You want to go with Men in Black?
Doug, without any assistance, I would like to say a very obvious answer, which is Men in Black.
Men in Black.
Michael E. in Black.
Good.
Sean Jordan.
Double Jeopardy.
Double Jips.
I like it.
Jeff.
Not a big deal.
U.S. Marshals. Okay.
That's fun that you guys are a couple of show-offs,
but I'm just going to say Men in Black 2.
Sean? Men in Black 2. Sean?
Men in Black 3.
That's how this game is played.
I couldn't figure out which sequel
to take off the table first,
so I did U.S. Marshals.
All right.
Why don't you guys start an excuses club?
I woke up kind of hungry today.
My blood sugar was low.
I was like, no, your brain's not really going.
The blood's not flowing, you know?
All right, Amy, did any of those help trigger other ideas?
Fugitive, double jeopardy.
Nighttime in Mississippi.
U.S. Marshals.
Nighttime in Mississippi?
Yeah, you guys seen that?
Super good.
Tommy Lee Jones crushed it.
Sounds perfect.
Oh, it sounds like a Tommy Lee Jones.
Sally Jessie Raphael.
It's only for people with three names.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas is in it, Sarah Jessica Parker.
And they're just having a night in Mississippi.
It was so fun.
No, I don't know anymore.
Okay, thank you, Amy.
My mind is blank.
I mean, it's a fucking rough one.
Tommy Lee Jones?
Yeah.
American icon, Tommy Lee Jones.
Ashley Lee, what do you have?
Where you at?
What do you got out there?
Lifeline?
There she is.
She's going Lincoln.
You guys were writing down a whole bunch of stuff, too.
I wish there was a way for me to look at that list,
but I can't do it.
Do you want to go with Lincoln?
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
Lincoln. Lincoln is correct.
Ashley, thank you.
I'm sorry that I'm going to lose the prize bag for you.
JFK.
Oh, finally!
Nice!
Finally,
JFK is appropriate.
Lee Harvey Oswald was also in Nighttime in Mississippi.
Tommy Lee
Harvey Oswald.
I'm going to go with
No Country for Old Men.
Shaunas.
Cremogeny old man woman. The Mechanic 2.
What?
Is that legit?
Yeah, the Jason Statham movie?
Yeah.
Tommy Lee Jones is in it?
Oh, full title, you sons of bitches.
Ah, The Mechanic Retool. That's a great title, you sons of bitches. Ah, The Mechanic Retool.
That's a great title,
but... That can't be the title. Is that, that's incorrect?
The Mechanic 2? I'm pretty sure it's just The Mechanic 2.
Yeah. Oh, Resurrection is in there?
I would've never known that.
I'm out.
Alright, he's pulling himself out.
Every time
everybody tries to pull him back in,
he pulls himself out.
Okay.
It is a resurrection.
You're right.
Alright, so it's my turn then?
No, wait.
Wait, what?
Whose turn is it?
Yeah, it's yours.
It's my turn.
Oh, it's Doug's turn.
Oh, I'm sorry.
No, no.
We're still going this way, right?
We're going this way.
Because you didn't know country.
Sean's turn, sorry.
Sour Patch Sean.
Thank you.
SPS.
Why don't we just let him go the way that everybody's so stoned except for me?
Wait, you weren't fighting it.
Is there...
I know, I just...
You just said everyone's so stoned except for me,
and you were the one advocating going the other direction.
The incorrect way.
I'm not stoned.
Is it...
He's a...
Is it man of the
house? That's correct.
That's the one I was thinking of.
Good job, buddy.
Thank God.
What do you
thank God? No, I like
Tommy Lee Jones and I got like 40 more
and I didn't want it to be over yet.
Dan, I'm sorry I didn't go to you.
I apologize.
Well, that doesn't make me happy.
Jeff.
You make me happy.
Aw.
You got 40 of them.
Say one.
Yeah, Rolling Thunder.
Rolling Thunder?
Yeah.
Do you hear the applause?
No, does not nobody.
It's great.
It's not my fault these people haven't seen that great movie.
More like N like Nolan Thunder.
William Devane is in it,
and the guy who played Roscoe in The Dukes of Hazzard.
How about I say Man of the House again?
I'm sorry.
All right, my turn.
Coal Miner's Daughter. coal miner's daughter oh no I'm out
yeah out out Sean
sorry Dan I forgot to use you as a lifeline
did you have one
can I use it
can the other Sean use
no
other Sean's lifeline
alright I'm out why would anyone think that would lifeline? No. We got the same name.
All right, I'm out.
Why would anyone think that'd be all right?
I mean, because we have the same name.
All right, I'm out.
Oh, that's why?
Because you have the same name?
Yeah, go ahead.
No, I'm kidding.
You had a tiny window to yell at before he could...
Yeah, it's such a small window.
I tried to close it quickly.
Yeah, Sean S is...
You've already used your lifeline once?
Sean J.
Right now with all these questions,
you must be feeling a little under siege.
Gotcha.
Perfect.
I was feeling under siege.
I'm glad you...
But anyway, do you have a Tommy Lee Jones movie you can name? No, I'm out. It's so cool that you were nice to me for a second. I was feeling under siege. I'm glad you... But anyway, do you have a Tommy Lee Jones movie you could name?
No, I'm out.
It's so cool that you were nice to me for a second.
I'm out.
All right, so it's just me and Jeff?
Yeah.
You're playing first at two points, right?
No, not tonight.
People got to go get their turkeys on.
Got to start cooking.
People gotta go get their turkeys on.
Gotta start cooking.
I wish this game could go on and on and on.
I wish it could be like Batman Forever.
Nice call.
Man, whenever you end a sentence with a movie title that he's in,
the audience erupts like a volcano.
So good!
So good!
I am so sorry, Dane.
Oh, you bastard.
I think it's time to tap.
Wait, was he in a movie called Tap?
Time to Tap.
It was a story of some dancers.
Oh, man.
Are you lost in the Valley of Eli?
Oh!
Are you one of the missing?
Oh!
Maybe. You got to keep doing it.
Are you one of the hunted?
Did somebody say that yet?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you one of the hunted in the Valley of Elah?
Maybe I can get the homesman
to come with me.
The homesman.
That's a good one.
We're Tommy Lee Jones
in for one more, Jeff.
I've only heard four Was he ever a voice in an animated thing?
Yes.
No, but he was in...
He was never...
No, that voice.
He's not going to use that voice.
You don't get...
The Tommy Lee Jones effect involves eyebrows
and the whole thing.
The voice by itself is not good.
It needs the eyebrows.
What's the one with Meryl Streep and Steve Carell?
What's that called?
I wanted to say Hope Floats, but that's not it.
So is the game over?
Am I out of my mind?
Oh, no, that one is called...
Oh, fuck.
That one is called Hope Springs.
Hope Springs.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Jeff Tate is our winner, everybody!
Hope Springs.
Hope Springs.
God damn it.
Yeah.
Jeff Tate is our winner, everybody.
Was that... Is it called Black Moon Rising or Bad Moon Rising?
The one where he's like a criminal.
It's like sci-fi.
Black Moon Rising?
Black, I guess.
Yeah.
I don't care anymore.
The game is over.
I don't care.
That sounds like a good Tommy Lee Jones movie.
Let's give the prizes to the person you were playing for, Jeff.
Who was that again?
Julia.
Julia.
Come get your stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lots of stuff.
Go ahead, Jeff.
I thought she was going to come all the way to me.
I didn't know you were going to do that.
So now you have to do it again.
And there you go.
And now get back to your microphone
and start telling us your plugs.
Why did you give the name tag back?
Oh, because the shithead came off.
Nice.
I am in... All the shithead came off? Nice. I am in
Minneapolis. All the shitheads come off.
Minneapolis, this
Friday and Saturday, the 25th
and 26th at the Comedy Corner
Underground. I'm making a new album.
Then December 1st.
Thank you.
December 1st,
I'm in Shreveport. December 2nd,
I'm in Lafayette, both Louisiana. December 3rd, I'm in Shreveport. December 2nd, I'm in Lafayette.
Both Louisiana.
December 3rd, I am in Houston.
Justanotherclown.com.
Buy all my shit.
Woo!
Woo!
I will.
That's how you sell motherfuckers.
Thank you, Jeff Tate.
Sean Jordan, what do you got to plug, buddy?
Buy all of Jeff's shit.
And also, if you know anybody in Portland or if you're going to be in Portland on December 9th,
go to the Secret Society.
I'll be doing a show,
and I'm going to film it for something maybe cool.
So I need people there.
So that's the only thing.
December 9th, Portland, Oregon, Secret Society.
Fly there.
It's a short flight from here.
Get a flight.
The only people that are going to hear this are in this room.
Okay, good.
Fuck yeah, dog. I'll see you there this is a private Douglas movies it's a so all
your plugs have to all everyone here has to come to all these other cities to see
you guys absolutely fine with that we find out they all work for like a Pepsi
bottling company oh it's a company guys don't want to go to Portland? It'd be tight.
Where were you going?
Thanks, Sean.
Amy Miller, what do you got to plug? Well, I have an album coming out, Doug.
Yay!
Thanks so much for asking.
What's it called?
My first album. It's called Solid Gold, and it's out Black Friday.
I don't know when this is airing, but it's out
Friday, November 25th.
You can get it on iTunes, killrockstars.com,
my website, amymillercomedy.
And then you can also get a pillowcase
that has my face on it,
and it says, I'm sleeping with Amy Miller.
Which is also good for your lonely holiday nights.
Thank you, Amy Miller.
Sean Sacamai, you don't have dates to plug, necessarily.
I've got nothing.
Do everything they said.
If you want to yell at me on Twitter, I'm at SnapTheJap.
It's not racist because it's about me.
Sounds like...
You can call yourself a Jap.
Right.
Like I'm a big Jap.
Right, exactly.
Oh, wait, you can call yourself those words?
It still doesn't work.? Still doesn't work.
It still doesn't work.
We should start a thing to get him to change his name.
I just report him to Twitter every time he tweets at me.
Is that why I'm getting those emails?
There's a very offensive Jap on Twitter.
How dare he tell me to snap him.
My granddad freaks out
every time he sees it come across
my mentions. He's like, not another one.
Also, though,
our thoughts are with Japan after the tsunami.
What are you groaning for?
I tried to say something nice
in case they're listening going, why the fuck are they making Jap jokes?
We're dying over here.
San Diego doesn't care.
Sean Diego.
Was there another tsunami?
Did someone say a four-footer?
Put on your full suit.
Did someone say a four-footer?
Put on your full suit.
amymillercomedy.com Please go buy my album.
It comes out Friday.
I'm sending 15% of all the proceeds to Japan. to Jap-Japan.
I love Jap-Japan.
It's my favorite of all the Japans.
It's the jappiest one.
Come on.
Apologies to Jeff Tate
for not making
Short Circuit an answer tonight.
If you haven't heard last night's show, that doesn't make any sense.
Apology accepted.
Oh, well, thank you.
And Doug Loves Movies is back at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles on Monday night, December 5th.
One more time for all of my guests.
Jeff Tate, Sean Jordan, Amy Miller, and Shawn Sacamai.
I have a feeling we'll see Shawn Sacamai at the,
maybe Shawn Jordan too at the big Christmas show in LA.
And I don't even know what order to say these shitheads in
because it's such a topsy-turvy world right now,
and these are some really hard-hitting...
These are some really intense shitheads, you guys.
I don't want to bum anybody out,
but thank you to the American Comedy Company.
Thank you to the endangered bald eagle.
Thank you to people who put Christmas lights
on their signs
feel free to come up on stage
and grab your sign back
if we still have it up here
and thank you to all of you for coming out
the night before Thanksgiving
have a great Thanksgiving
and as always
deep fried turkeys are a shithead.
Making left turns in Los Angeles is a shithead.
And untangling Christmas lights is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.