Doug Loves Movies - Amy Poehler, Chris Pratt, Jim O'Heir, Retta, Adam Scott, and Ben Schwartz Guest
Episode Date: March 10, 2011Doug welcomes the stars of television's "Parks and Recreation." Amy Poehler, Chris Pratt, Jim O'Heir, Retta, Adam Scott, and Ben Schwartz. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and... California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
I'm exhausted
because carrying out the bags
full of prizes was very
difficult tonight
and I just spilled beer all over my notes
This is going to be a good one
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Back for one week at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles.
It's March 8th, 2000.
Ocean's 11.
And there won't be a show next week here before Comedy Death Ray.
Because I'm going to be at South by Southwest in Austin, Texas.
Where we'll be recording at least one
or maybe two episodes of the show
with some of the amazing people
that will be there at the festival.
Unfortunately, you have to have a stinking badge
to get into events at South by Southwest.
So I'm apologizing in advance.
Please don't give me a hard time on Twitter.
How can I get into your show?
I can't afford a badge that costs $1,700.
It's like, well, unfortunately, some people can.
And they do.
And so we'll have an audience.
And I'll try to, like I've said in several interviews lately,
if I'm walking down the street and there's an alley nearby,
I'd be happy to join you there.
An apology is due to the person on Twitter
who I quoted on the show last week
for coming up with the Gnomeo and Juliet sequel,
Elf Night.
Because I threw out the idea
that they should make every Shakespeare play
into a Gnomeo movie.
And because I didn't share his name I want to share it now
with you. I assume it's a he.
On Twitter it's
at Hootie Blows Fish.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about not saying your name
last week Hootie Blows Fish because obviously
I wanted to.
It's pretty much the only reason I
brought it up in the first place. And if you want to look him up on Twitter or her, Fish is spelled
with an F, not a PH. Speaking of bands, I had a great time last weekend on the 311 cruise.
As you might be able to tell, my voice is a little shot. These days days when you are on a boat for three or four days you cannot stop screaming I'm on a boat and I mean I'm sure people said it
every once in a while in the past but now it's just ironic unironic I don't
care which way it is you have to fucking say it all the time at the top of your
lungs and then they play I'm the DJs are always playing I'm on a boat.
It's all about being on a boat.
So I had a great time on the boat and do intend,
if you guys are fans of 311
and listeners that are fans of 311,
I hope to get a couple of the guys
from the band to come on Doug Loves Movies
because they love movies
and it'll be a lot of fun.
The next Benson Interruption at Largo
is in LA on Monday, March 21st uh three podcast favorites
have been lined up to perform along with a great comic who has uh he's an interruption newbie so
that's going to be a fun show at Largo on the 21st Friday March 25th Graham Elwood and I will be at
in Charlotte North Carolina at the McGloin Theater at Spirit Square. Doug Loves Movies will be taped
in front of an audience on the road once again
at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington
on Sunday, April 3rd
with a special guest that you know and love.
And both Doug Loves Movies
and Ben's Interruption premium episodes,
means they cost $2,
are available in the comedy album section of iTunes.
And I've got lots more tour dates and tape dates coming up.
So wherever you live, chances are I'm coming close to you this year.
I'm really trying to get out and see everybody.
So stay tuned.
Over.
My guest tonight...
As you can see, we have a lot of chairs up here.
Does anybody have an inkling of who's going to be here?
Parks and Rec.
Shh.
My guest tonight... you fucking spoiler. I asked if you had an inkling, not name it.
My guests tonight are cast members of NBC comedy done right.
From Parks and Recreation, please welcome Adam Scott, Jim O'Hare, Ben Schwartz, Retta, Chris Pratt, and Amy Poehler! Wow.
This has never happened to me.
I've had many favorite TV shows over the years
But I've never sat and chatted with them
Well we're not a TV show
Doug
What you're on HBO?
Yeah we are on HBO
Go ahead and pick up some microphones
You guys we don't have enough for everybody
So we'll just pass them around
But we always want somebody ready to talk except for jerry jim o'hare plays jerry everybody
and the magic does not stop there with jim o'hare he is in the movie ed the talking i'm not talking but the baseball playing monkey movie yes i was
what did you do in that i was the announcer for the home team nice yeah matt leblanc and a monkey
and it was not a real monkey it was two little people standing on each other's shoulders in
outfits running around bases. It was cruel.
It was cruel.
Because you just sat up in the booth in the shade just watching these fucking midgets run around.
I mean, small midgets running around in fucking monkey suits.
Yes, sir.
It was great.
That's amazing.
It was amazing.
So you were there the whole shoot with all the baseball seats. They would run the bases and then somebody would run out
with this thing that looked like a blow dryer,
put it in their mouth, in their monkey mouth,
and shoot cold air inside
because they were passing out.
Probably 75 bucks a day.
You know, a lot of nights I would settle
with having cold air shot in my mouth
rather than another thing.
I don't even know what I was trying to say with that.
Now, Amy, of course, is a founder, a co-founder of this facility that we're in right now.
So lots of people say thank you, Amy, for the UCB in New York and UCB here
and I have to say
one of the
I love you
you gotta word this the right way
I don't want to be insulting
you know what I mean when somebody comes up to you on the street
and they're like you were great in that one thing
and you're just like oh thanks about the rest
of my career
that's like when guys who are
younger than me tell me they're proud of me oh my god that happens a lot no i'm just relating to you
oh okay sorry um mean girls you play one of the girls mom
and so hilarious in every scene you're in
and I'm just wondering
did you base it on Dina Lohan
like did you meet her
and then just do that
back then Lindsay was very young
and all those girls who are now
all of them are big stars
Rachel McAdams who was
8 years younger than me
when I played her mom.
And now she's 15 years younger than me.
Yeah, and I can't wait to see Amanda Seyfried
being eaten by a wolf.
That's going to be sweet.
It's going to be the best cunnilingus ever filmed.
Is Amanda Seyfried in Mean Girls yeah she's the
one that says I have ESPN or whatever
but they still all had moms on the set didn't they like we did you did you just
sit around and drink martinis with all of them no I didn't I didn't meet any of
their moms they were all I think that they were all the right age.
17, 16, 17.
Yeah, maybe they didn't have to have moms.
I'm not exactly sure when that cutoff is for when you don't need your mom anymore.
Well, I think Lindsay.
My case was 35.
Yeah.
How long are the midgets' mothers there?
Never saw them.
No monkey midget mothers?
No triple M's on the set?
Adam Scott.
Thank you.
Hi, Doug.
Thank you for making this happen.
You said, I'll get everybody from Parks and Rec,
and I said, as long as you don't bring Rob Lowe, it's all good.
Well, it was all good. Well,
it was really hard. I sent
an email.
Yeah, but you know all of their
email addresses. That's pretty sweet.
Not by heart.
This automatically pop up when I put the
first letter of their name.
Actually, I put the first letter of their name
and a series of names pop up, and then
you go, oh, okay. And you got to choose.
Do you know what I mean?
Does anyone here have email?
Internet?
It's on the computer.
Also, iPad, iPhone, whatever I'm using at the moment.
You know about all of it.
I have a bunch of different devices.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Adam is the tech guy on the show.
The rest of us...
Speak in another language.
And you told everybody
how to play the Leonard Moulton game
for tonight, right?
So I'm counting on you
to have people who are too busy to listen to podcasts
or at least my podcast.
We had a tutorial backstage.
A tutorial? Alright.
Amy's looking like she's going to have no idea.
Dude, you told me to pretend to
know how to play the fucking game.
And now you're calling us out before we've
even started, asshole.
Really? Really fucking...
Now you're Charlie Sheen.
You're a winner either way.
You gave us like a 45 minute speech
about how everyone listening to this podcast
is going to be pissed if we don't pretend
to know how to play in the Leonard Malden game.
And then you just came out here and ruined it.
You literally said the phrase
my fans will hate you unless you know
how to play this game.
You said that. You said my fans are going to hate you.
So just come out there and really show them what you got.
But that's why Adam
was supposed to say, no, I did not teach
them how to play the game. Yeah, not only that, but you're
pinning it all on me.
You're a hot dog with that email
and now you feel like an idiot, don't you? Yeah, no shit.
I don't have that
program on my computer.
I just want everybody to know what's going on.
I'm about full disclosure.
Ben Schwartz is here.
What's the name of your character on Parks and Rec?
I play a character named John Ralphio.
I wish...
Wow!
I wish that guy was around more.
I mean, like, there's not enough amazing people on the show already,
but holy crap, that's a funny character.
Thanks, man.
And you're also in a movie with my good friend Sarah Silverman
called Peep World.
We just did the junket
today for that movie.
I just answered
150 questions
for that movie today.
All right,
here's one you didn't get today.
Go.
You and Sarah Silverman
play brother and sisters.
Any sex scenes together?
We have not gotten that.
No, no, no, no.
There are no sex scenes together.
You know that's weird, right?
But she's naked in it.
Like, you're aware
that's weird. I just thought that was a Jewish thing that you sleep with your sister. No, no, no, that's weird, right? But she's naked in it. Like, you're aware that's weird.
I just thought that was a Jewish thing that you sleep with your sister.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
But as long as there's a sheet
with a hole in it,
anybody's game, right?
I guess, technically,
because you can't see it.
But then you could have sex
with dead people.
That was way deep.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I love that scene
and, uh...
No, forget it.
I was going to say something about Ghost, but... He's really dead, so it's not as funny anymore.
Do you think, has Jimmy Moore seen a penny going up a wall
since Patrick Swayze died?
Okay, so, Retta...
Retta's here.
Retta.
Retta's here.
When is your character,
when are the writers going to figure out that you could bust out some serious opera?
Has that happened or is it going to happen?
Spoiler alert.
No, it hasn't.
But it's got to, right?
That's amazing.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Oh, she can, do you mind?
Give us a little bit, little taste.
Okay. I didn't mean to do that to you, Chris Pratt.
That's hard to follow.
But you're the next person I'm going to talk to.
Fuck you, Retta.
Fucking opera, every time.
My bad.
Eerie Take Me Home Tonight was just opened on Friday, I believe.
Yeah, it did yeah
and I haven't seen it yet
but was that
nor is anyone else
in America
it's in
it's in like
eighth or ninth
it's in eighth or ninth
place or something
no no no
I don't think
it made the top ten
that's a double digit opening
that's what they call that
two is better than one.
Do you have a big part in it?
Well, none of you have seen it. Yeah, I'm the lead.
It's amazing. Really good.
I do this Pacino kind of character.
I've totally been wondering what you've been up to.
I haven't seen you in movies in the last few years.
You were on 70's Show for a long time.
And then of course you had a cameo in
Ocean's Eleven.
But I switch it now to Chris
because Topher's kind of, I don't know,
stupid.
That's when I was holding back Topher Grace
because he needed a name like Chris Pratt.
There's like, on IMDB
there's about 70 different crew people
with the name Chris Pratt.
But you're number one, man. You're the number one
Chris Pratt. But there's
other ones that did stuff that I'd like to ask
you about.
When you were a grip on Ed,
did you get to meet the midget monkeys?
But how long ago did they film Take Me Home
tonight? Because it seems like a shelved
item. Yeah, we filmed it four Take Me Home tonight? Because it seems like a shelved item.
Yeah, we filmed it four years ago.
It's aging like a fine wine.
It's because it is.
It was.
Tell them why it's an amazing experience.
Yeah, it's great.
The reason that it's an amazing experience is I don't give a shit.
No, it was shelved because there's a lot of cocaine use in it. And apparently this is a little insider information.
But the first test screening came on a Monday after Lindsay Lohan got busted for cocaine on like a Saturday.
And so Universal was like, you know what?
We can't put this movie out.
Plus it sucked.
Because she got busted for cocaine.
It's actually really good.
The important part.
Oh, yeah.
It's also starring the lovely
and amazing Anna Faris.
Yeah, we met on the movie four years ago.
You guys are married! We got married!
Yeah! Thanks, Jim.
That is
awesome!
I totally forgot about that.
Great, let's fucking keep talking about her.
God, Jim.
Do you guys ever do like red carpet
kind of things together?
I don't think I've seen you
publicly as a couple.
You keep it all DL and shit?
Oh yeah, totally.
You're going to erase
this last part
where we said we met
on the movie, right?
That's not going to make
the podcast.
What do you mean erase it?
You can't.
You don't have the technology.
Where else would you meet her?
No, yeah, I don't know.
We do red carpet.
We've done that before.
Yeah, it's pretty great.
You hate this. No, what do I hate? No, yeah, I don't know. We do red carpet. We've done that before. Yeah, it's pretty great. You hate this.
No, what do I hate?
No, yeah, we did it for the first time on this movie.
That's why you didn't see it.
I'm a fan of your character on the show
because you're getting a beard like mine on television,
which is like a fucking shitty beard that's
very splotched, very partial.
There's a lot of holes.
Is he sensitive about it?
Yeah, I know.
It's like the worst beard ever.
But you're keeping it in the off season.
You're not shooting right now.
I'm not showering or anything.
It's awesome.
There's something written on the wall back here.
One says sour balls and one says my butt stinks.
And I was like, check and check.
Both of those work for me.
Now, Aziz Ansari, of course, he's in New York City tonight.
But I'll speak for him.
Okay, please.
Aziz, what?
I didn't write a question for him because he wasn't going to be here. But what's it like being my friend. Aziz, what? I didn't write a question for him
because he wasn't going to be here.
But what's it like being my friend, Aziz?
Oh, it's great, man.
Thank you, Abigail.
Damn.
Damn.
Oh, shit, that guy's funny.
And, of course, he's been on the show before,
and will be again, I hope.
He's just, like, hard to nail down.
He's always playing at 7000 Seat Theater somewhere.
Yeah, Z's is on fire right now.
He's all over the world.
He just performed in Stockholm.
Why would they?
Why?
My brother lives in Sweden,
and he texted me,
he's like,
can you get me tickets to Aziz's show?
I was like,
in Sweden?
You've never been asked
to get tickets in Sweden
for anything, I bet.
He's the first one to do it.
Aziz will go anywhere.
They have good food in Sweden right
No actually their food's pretty bad I think
Is that all Aziz
Is that all Aziz does on the set all day
Is fucking talk about food that he ate
He's oh my god he won't shut up about it
He should be in Ratatouille too
He tweets all about everything he eats
Yeah his tweets are all about
I just ate this well good for good for you, you rich fuck.
Gonna be in Rahway, New Jersey.
What's to eat, people?
Yeah.
Everywhere he lands, he's like, what should I eat?
I want to become almost fat.
Like, could that guy even get fat if he tried, do you think?
I don't know why I looked at you, Ben.
I know the answer.
I'm not just fucking telling you.
Hey, I never saw Undercovers,
but I like the idea of you being on it.
That's literally what everybody says.
Everybody says that.
And then they go,
oh, the two leads aren't white.
Next question.
And that's literally what happens.
What movie was it where
Will Smith was out running around
and Jack Black was the guy in the truck?
Amistad.
No.
Say it again.
I must have misheard.
Will Smith is running around.
It was something about the state.
Enemy of the state.
Thank you, Jesus.
They're so angry about it.
Enemy of the state.
Is that a knife on your pocket, Chris Pratt?
Yeah.
Is that really? Is that a knife on your pocket chris pratt yeah is that really a knife on his belt
it looks like a han solo type thing though
what is that oh no it's a flat it's a flashlight yeah you gotta have that attached to your side at
all times that's pretty sweet.
You're just like,
where's Anna?
And you just shine it.
All right.
We're running way behind on this show.
Dude, we don't have time
for the Leonard Maltin game
and we've got to get to that.
That's what's going to happen
right now.
Thank God, yes.
Yes.
It's on.
It's the pretend you know
what's happening game. We'll start with, there's the pretend you know what's happening game.
We'll start with, there's the name tags.
In LA, they bring them out as soon as I mention it.
In other cities, they wear them.
But in LA, they're like, oh, name tag.
I'll look like some sort of coon.
So they whip out the name tags at this point.
I like that.
That's got a Juno theme.
Jenna has, her name is in the Juno font.
Doug, I was here the first night you
announced the name tag
idea. Yeah, and you were like,
what kind of fools would do
that just because you say so?
I said nothing of the sort.
My mind was blown that
it would just happen.
You would put the words out there on iTunes
and then people would make name tags
and look at what happened.
Look at what you started, Doug.
Yeah.
Really cool.
This is not the most name tags I've seen.
I've seen shows where practically everyone has one.
But this is the first show where I kick people out who don't.
You. Go. You. Out.
See ya. See ya.
I'm like the opposite of Oprahrah you get to go and you get
to go there's a calvin and hobbs thing over there that i enjoy a great deal we got a film
clapper thing for movies pang is back pang is always here with a big sign that says pang on it
did you win once okay you could keep playing but please make yourself ineligible if you won.
I'm never going to remember.
And what's going on in that one?
Scott Pilgrim.
Nice.
I love that movie.
All right.
So now each one of my panelists,
my panelists, guests, whatever,
go select a name tag that you enjoy
from someone in the audience
and bring it back to your seat.
Now.
Everyone's like, when should we do that?
I'll tell everybody about what you're going to win
while you're doing that.
We have
the latest Entertainment Weekly
with a picture of the entire cast
signed by everyone who's here.
Yeah, that's pretty sweet.
Since Nick Offerman
isn't here, Adam brought a copy of
Fine Woodworking.
In honor of him.
In honor of Mr. Offerman.
Chris Pratt brought you
your own Oscar that says
that you're a superstar.
And he knows the superstar
when he sees one.
I brought a snuggie kind of, a slanket kind of thing that says TV Guide Network on it.
That I got when I did a TV Guide Network show.
And you can, it's got a pouch that, in front of your breasts or your stomach, depending on what you are.
You can put a, you can put your remote control in it.
Doug, the problem with this is that
I feel like I'm going to think about
all the name tags I didn't pick tonight
because I'm already feeling like
the energy of people being disappointed
that their name tags didn't get picked.
And I can't look at the faces of people
who I didn't pick.
I'm just saying that you should just change the system.
I don't like the system.
It's literally the exact opposite for me.
Everybody I didn't pick, I just fucking love staring at them.
And just they know why they didn't get picked.
The prizes are just, you know, it's fun, but you know,
you don't have to have Doug Benson Professional Humor Ian
available on AST Records.
Or I bring these now.
These are so much fun.
Somebody's going to get one of these is gonna, somebody's gonna get
one of these for free.
This company named Woot makes these monkeys that are also slingshots.
Yeah, and they scream when you shoot them, so somebody's gonna win one of those.
And who brought the marijuana bar of soap?
That was Adam?
He brought a soap that has a marijuana on it.
I don't know why.
Retta brought a whole bunch of stuff.
She brought an eat more chicken cow.
Because cows are campaigning.
Oh, Aziz loves Chick-fil-A. That's right.
Oh, are all these tied into something?
All right, she brought a mug that says Parks and Recreation on it. Oh, that's a-A. That's right. Oh, are all these tied into something? All right.
She brought a mug that says Parks and Recreation on it.
Oh, that's a big deal.
That's very specific.
And you brought some little hottie hand warmers?
Our gift to the cast was,
would we get T-shirts or sweatshirts or something?
And we gave mugs and hand warmers.
Okay.
Was there a hand warmer episode of the show or something?
We do a lot of uh location shooting oh so you need to warm your hands because it's freezing out you start shooting
at 5 a.m it's supposed to be noon and you're dying out there what is this
my college agent one year gave all of his clients those spring jackets.
I've never worn them.
It says red on it.
I've been doing spring cleaning this week.
Your celebrity imposter opportunity has finally come to you.
And then what are these things?
Oh, my aunt is the first female president of Liberia
and my other aunt and uncle who live here
went during the inauguration
Back that up. Say that again.
My aunt
by marriage
is the first female president of Liberia
and my aunt and uncle went during
the festivities and they brought me back
those hideous, hideous paddles
and I refused to put them up in my house.
They're paddles that you're supposed to put them on a wall or something.
Yeah, fuck that.
Oh.
Could somebody complain?
It's one of you guys who put them in your fucking wall.
I don't want them.
But you could show up at a badminton court
and kick everybody's ass with those things
because they're a lot stronger.
All right, that's a lot of great stuff for
whoever wins tonight. But if you lose tonight...
Good job. You brought a lot of good stuff, Retta.
Since you fuckers didn't bring shit.
But Amy,
let me make you feel better about
what you were talking about earlier.
Your conflict here.
Everyone who doesn't win
tonight that you played for
gets to name... I have to name some,
I have to call someone a shithead
on their behalf
at the end of the podcast.
Whoever they want.
Politics, celebrities,
Look, I know how the Leonard Maltin game goes.
Everybody knows how this game works.
My God, let's get to it.
Oh wait, and also,
Adam also brought Atari playing cards.
Yeah, I forgot to bring something,
so I just bought a bunch of shit next door.
But I love
Atari playing cards.
You know what? I was going to bring a
Monster-in-Law poster and have us all
sign it.
I have a full-sized movie poster.
Because you played the title role in that, right?
I did. I was Law.
That means you were getting fucked.
By the way, Glenn,
I can tell you had scissors for these
two ends.
Did you use your tongue and your
thumbs for the rest of these?
This is a good
visual gag for the listeners.
Yeah.
So Glenn with two ends has has basically like a pie plate
with his name scratched into it like a psychopath.
And then, so Adam's playing for him.
And then Amy, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Renee, who has a very like,
it's like a bomb, right?
It's a what?
It's a bomb from Scott Pilgrim.
Oh, it's a Scott Pilgrim reference, yes. And it's a bomb from Scott Pilgrim oh it's a Scott Pilgrim reference yes and it's a bomb
yes yes and Rana what who are you playing for I'm playing for Jennifer Quinteros
who is a master makeup student at cinema makeup school this her ID. Oh, she just brought her business card.
I thought it was kind of bullshit.
That's why I picked her.
That's as good a reason as any to pick one.
I want to give hope to everyone who brings in bullshit
that they might get chosen.
People are just going to start holding up their license,
their driver's license.
Jim, what do you got?
Well, Nick Offerman couldn't be here because he said he wouldn't do this bullshit.
No, just of course not.
He wishes he could have been here, but he is out of town.
So on Nick's behalf, I chose Nick.
Oh, that's great.
That's very nice.
Oh, Chris got the clapper.
Since I didn't really show up tonight, I chose Chris, and this is a really beautifully designed slate that has, for those
of you on the podcast, it's one of those things they clap right before they roll, you know?
Yeah.
Action.
And action.
Oh, wait, no.
Rolling, sound speed.
And it would, and.
A camera mark.
Mark, B camera set, and freeze.
And every.
Tail sticks.
And tail sticks. Tail sticks. And tail sticks.
Tail sticks.
And what do you got there, Ben Schwartz?
I got Tina because I'm a huge Bill Watterson fan who created the comic Calvin Hobbes.
Oh, God.
Enormous.
How did you choose between there was a Calvin and a Hobbes?
I said, one of you guys, which one? Justin or Tina?
And Justin goes, Tina. And I said, okay, Tina.
That's how that happened. So you decided to go with Calvin
the cat. Okay, let's play.
No!
No!
I don't want Tina anymore.
I have a question
for Calvin and Hobbes people.
Okay.
This already sounds pretentious.
What?
What's with all the stickers
in the back of the cars?
I can answer that question.
This is really pathetic,
but Bill Watterson
never licensed any of these
characters to do anything,
so those are all illegal.
Yeah, and once it's illegal,
he might as well be
pissing on something.
Or crying over a cross. Oh, I once it's illegal, he might as well be pissing on something. Or crying
over a cross.
Oh, I haven't seen that.
I want to see Hobbes
just taking a shit.
I think we can take care of that
for you. On a cross, right?
On the back of an SUV that I will
ram into.
Alright, let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Woo!
Yeah! Yeah, don't look at it.
We'll start with Adam
down there, then we'll come back around
this way so Amy gets to go last.
Just how she likes it.
Alright, here's some categories
for you, Adam.
Jamie F. wrote to me on the internet
and suggested movies featuring Bryan Cranston.
And I think that guy is awesome,
so I said, I'm going to do that.
Because I can't think of a single movie that guy's been in.
It's like Malcolm in the Middle, Breaking Bad.
He was in movies, but he was.
And keep it down.
Don't start yelling out names.
All right, and then your next category.
Today is Fat Tuesday.
It's all Mardi Gras style today.
So these movies with the word fat in the title.
And fatal attraction doesn't count.
Then your third category.
You know, lots of people suggested this,
but I'm giving credit to from Twitter
At Alex C. Murphy suggested
Charlie Sheen movies
Which one would you like
Adam Charlie Sheen
Bryan Cranston or Fat
I'll take Charlie Sheen
Would you like a Charlie Sheen movie
From 84
86 Or 99 Would you like a Charlie Sheen movie from 84, 86, or 99?
I'll take 86.
All right.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie.
He calls it thoroughly winning.
Really?
Did he really say that?
He really did. I say that he really did
I don't know
Charlie Sheen's not in it
and I don't know why he gave it 3 out of 4
if it's thoroughly winning
that sounds like nothing is wrong with it
I'm sure Charlie Sheen would have a problem
with that
and then he also said
he also called it
the screen debut for what very well-known actress who's
in it it's her first movie and it's from 1986 three stars what was the category
Charlie Sheen oh really oh I beg your pardon then yes it does say Winning Aunt Charlie Sheen
is in it
I'm pretty good at this
Is it still the debut
of a well known actress?
Mmhmm
Okay
Yeah I got all that part right
I just forgot
which category we were on
and I you know
I forgot that
Charlie Sheen was in this
because I like it
No he's been in
he's been in some good stuff
Alright so there are
but there are only six names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Adam Scott?
What?
What?
What the fuck is going on?
What are you talking about?
Amy, keep cool.
Keep cool, baby.
You know what's going on.
You know what's going on, baby.
You know how this game works.
In other words, it probably won't get around to you this round.
So just check it out.
I feel like I could get it in three names.
All right.
Ben?
I can't get it.
I think.
You think he's bluffing?
Tell him to name it.
Or go lower.
Or go lower.
I can't go lower.
I'll ask if he's bluffing
I think he's bluffing
That's a great idea
All you gotta do is say name that movie
If you ask if I'm bluffing
I'm not gonna say anything
I'm just gonna keep eye contact with you
I have no problem with that
If I'm wrong I'm out of the game forever
No
Yeah of course you're bluffing
I mean you are right.
Oh, okay, so name it. Name it in three.
Name it in three names. Do you need the clues again?
No, I don't think so.
I know, you shouldn't get the clues again, because
one of them was, I thought Charlie Sheen wasn't in it.
So, I don't
mean to confuse you any further.
Thomas E. Hodges,
Winona Ryder,
is the lady I was referring to, and Courtney Thorne-Smith. Thomas E. Hodges Winona Ryder Who?
Is the lady I was referring to And Courtney Thorne-Smith
Are your three out of six names
From this movie from 1986
Three stars, thoroughly winning
Charlie Sheen is in it
Lucas?
That's correct
Wow
Wow
Unbelievable Lucas? That's correct. Oh! Wow!
Wow!
Unbelievable.
So I have to take out my dick, right?
No, no, no, no, no. You're good, you're good.
You got it!
No, no, no, no.
You got it.
Well, yeah, if you want to piss on Hobbes,
that'd be awesome.
That was great.
Nice work.
You knew it the whole time, didn't you, you asshole?
I didn't.
I thought it was Wall Street with the initial hints. All right. That was great. Nice work. You knew it the whole time, didn't you, asshole? I didn't. I thought it was Wall Street with the initial hints.
All right.
That was wrong.
You changed it up.
It ended up being Lucas.
Adam Scott with the recap.
All right.
All right, Chris Pratt, we're going to start with you.
Me?
Yes, you.
Okay.
You get to pick a category.
Jurassic Park.
The category is Jurassic Park.
All right, let's go.
I'm ready.
If it's Jurassic Park.
Richard Attenborough.
Okay, no.
Okay, would you like, as a category,
someone named Real Matt Holt on Twitter suggested to me
Pullman Paxton.
These are movies with either Bill Pullman or Bill Paxton.
Because no one can keep the two of them apart.
One of them's the big love guy.
I'm not going to say which one.
Then another category is In Theaters Now.
It's very popular with people who know
what's playing in theaters now.
In motion picture theaters now.
You have a movie in theaters now.
They don't go that obscure.
And then the third category,
no one ever bites on this,
but it's my favorite category I've ever come up with.
Ernest Goes To Movies.
Ernest Goes To Movies. I'll give you a quick hint.
Jim Varney is in all of them.
Is he?
Wow.
Which one of those would you like?
Pullman Paxton, Ernest,
or... I'll do
In Theaters Now. Okay.
Let me try that out.
Let me just,
full disclosure,
Take Me Home Tonight
is not one of the options.
Fuck.
Okay, Ernest.
Get that out of your head.
Okay, no.
In theaters now.
Okay, in theaters now.
Take Me Home Tonight
is in theaters now.
It really is good.
I totally want to see it.
I love Topher and Anna
and now I know you're in it so I'm on board. It's great. It's is good. I totally want to see it. I love Topher and Anna,
and now I know you're in it,
so I'm on board.
It's great.
It's really good.
What do you think about TJ Miller hanging out with your wife?
How do you feel about that?
He's friends with her, right?
Well, they did Yogi Bear together.
Yeah, they did.
Yeah.
A lot of crazy shit happened on that movie.
You know good things come in bears.
Did you know that?
We've discussed that.
Every time TJ's out, we talk about that's the worst catchphrase
for a children's movie ever.
Especially with the one sheet they had, which was like
Yogi just behind Boo Boo with a devilish smile.
It looked like
a good thing was coming in a bear right that moment.
Okay.
Leonard says it's unfair to call this a one joke movie.
There may have been two or three.
And he also says,
it's not take me home tonight, relax.
And he also says,
about making it, it must have seemed funny at the time
it doesn't now wait i think i got it was there a year on this no it's in theaters now so yes
there is a year yeah yeah what would that what that's a weird obscure theater why are you quizzing
me about the year just because i smoke smoke pot, you have to be...
It's two oceans 11.
And there are
ten names.
How many names do you think you can get in, CP?
I think I can get it in zero names.
Are you kidding me?
Alright, now, I should tell you, Jim,
you could go negative names if you want,
but the look on your expression
is not unlike Yogi Bear on that poster. I just but the look on your expression is not unlike Yogi Bear on that poster.
I just said the look
on your expression,
which should be how we say it.
So you could just...
I would say to Chris,
name that movie.
Just Go With It.
No. Did you really...
Did you just think of another movie that was out?
I will totally nail this
Because I know
This movie is playing right now
There's a movie called
Just go with it
Yes there is
Oh I was saying that
To myself
With the original idea
I had
Okay then now
In that case
And now give your guess then
Well then now give your guess
Now that we've gotten
I thought you were
That's the name of a movie
So give me your guess.
That really is, huh?
Is there another movie in theaters
now that you might want to guess?
That Leonard Maltin may have said...
All that shit about, yeah. All that terrible stuff.
The clues are really
not helpful, by the way. I say the
things that really make it like you'd never
figure it out.
Because first of all, this is a Holocaust drama.
A two-joke movie at max.
Can he redo his guess?
Huh?
Can he redo his guess of how many names?
He could have guessed another movie,
but we got to move it along.
All right, yeah, I got it wrong.
So Jim gets the point.
What did I tell you backstage?
I told him you don't have to know anything to win.
You know what I like about this game?
How long it takes for someone to get a point.
It's arduous, Amy.
But yeah, does anyone think they know what it is?
Who said Rango?
That guy, Rango.
Yeah, I don't know why Len is so harsh on Rango.
I saw it.
I thought it was cute.
And the people that are against children smoking
Whatever that's called
They're
Or children seeing about smoking
There's like a bunch of characters that smoke cigarettes in Rango
Fucking awesome
It's an old timey western
Cause it's a period you get to do it in a period
That's right exactly
I'm gonna do that with every cartoon I make
Anyway they're all mad about it And I'm going to do that with every cartoon I make.
Anyway, they're all mad about it,
and I'm like, give Rango a break.
Okay, so Jim just got a point. So Adam's got a point. Jim's got a point.
We're going to start with Retta on this one.
Let's do it.
Would you like movies with hit men
or women? Those are trained assassins
in the story.
Or Charlie Sheen
or Bryan Cranston.
Hitman Sheen
Cranston. Hitman.
Alright. Would you like a Hitman
movie from
1995, 2005
or 2007?
95.
This movie gets two stars from Leonard.
I disagree.
He calls it a black comedy.
And he says,
this hit, hit as in quotes,
is a miss.
I don't get it.
This man is a lady.
So it's got hit men or hit ladies in it,
and two stars from 1985,
and there are six names.
How many names do you think you can get in?
Retta, no last name.
She says four.
Now what do you, Amy?
I know you've studied the game
and you know all the permutations
of it. What do you say?
Lucas.
Take the big guy.
No.
I
can't.
You can go lower amount of names.
Or you can say Reddit, name that movie.
Oh, I see.
You said four?
I'll go three.
Here we go down to Adam.
I'll say name that movie.
All right.
Adam just won.
But let's go through it anyway just to see.
You might surprise everybody.
I'm really bad at this.
Sorry. Sorry, Renee. I'm bad at it too but when I'm in charge act like I'm
great at it all right do you want the clues again no just the names okay Josh Josh Charles is in this movie. Robert Loggia. And Janine Garofalo.
Yay.
What is it?
I'll give you one more little clue.
You're not going to get it.
I think I can tell you everyone is in this movie and you won't be able to name them.
Clay Pigeons?
Oh, that's a great guess.
With Vince Vaughn
and that's not the right answer.
That's not correct.
But does anybody know it?
The Big Hit.
No?
That's a good guess though.
Big Hit.
Things to do in Denver
when you're dead.
No, she wasn't in that.
Or those other two people.
No, I was right.
This is a really tough one,
which is great because we're running out of time
and I can declare Adam the winner.
The movie's called Cold-Blooded
and it stars Jason Priestley
and it's great.
I mean, it's really...
You'll like it.
Let me tone it down a little bit.
It's pretty decent.
No, but it's something people haven't really
heard of or familiar with, and I threw that
in there, and that probably wasn't, that was probably unfair,
but I still appreciate
everybody giving their best, and
I had a feeling Adam would take the whole thing
because he's great at this. Me too.
He's great at it. Adam Scott, everybody, our winner!
Glenn! Glenn is the winner
So Glenn wins all this stuff
Congratulations Glenn
Enjoy the jacket Glenn
Where's Glenn at?
Glenn's over here somewhere right?
Oh there he is
There's all your stuff Glenn
Yeah congratulations
And Matt one of our producers
He's going to go around and collect all the shitheads for me
Here have him write it on this.
There you go.
Let's go down the line and just see what you guys are up to.
What do you have in the can?
What's coming out? Parks and Rec.
10 more, did we decide? 12 more?
How many more episodes?
10 more episodes.
So watch those, everybody.
Thursday nights at 9.30
8.30 central
and by the time this airs
the next episode on
will be the Harvest Festival
oh wow
I thought the Harvest Festival was a whole season arc
but no
get on it
anyway it's a great show
Ben Schwartz what do you got?
People World is out soon, right?
People World is out soon.
I just did a pilot for Showtime with Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell.
Hopefully that gets picked up.
Let me ask you this, though.
Not to sabotage your career, but if it gets picked up, can you still show up on Parks and Rec every once in a while?
I can, actually, yeah.
Because it was a previously existing gig or whatever, right?
It was a part of the...
It was a thing I worked out before because I love this show so much.
It's a thing we worked out before. Oh, dude, you're so great on it.
Chris Pratt, can you still be on
Parks and Rec? Because I'd like to see more of you on there.
I hope so. I don't know. I hope so, too.
Fingers crossed. And Take Me
Home Tonight is in theaters now.
And you've got like five movies, I think, that are done or almost done coming out in the future, right?
Yeah.
What's the next one on the horizon?
Money Ball.
Money Ball.
Yeah, that's going to be a baseball movie.
Unlike Major League, it's more dramatic.
And less Charlie Sheen?
Less Charlie Sheen, unfortunately.
Yeah, that's a good one, a baseball movie.
And no monkeys.
No monkeys in that one either. You can go on
the internet and find out all
of them. Yeah, go to IMDB and write in
Chris Pratt and don't... You can follow me
on Twitter at Pratt, Pratt, Pratt.
Yeah! Your tweets
are really funny. Your tweets are brilliant.
Yeah, please follow me. I would like that.
And also, there's a movie called
What's Your Number?
That is,
I have a small part in,
but you really have to see.
It's hilarious,
and it is starring
my sweet wife,
and it's a really funny,
funny movie,
so that's going to come out
in September,
as well as Moneyball.
They're about a week apart,
so if you're going to pick
between the two,
well,
this is being recorded, huh?
See them both.
See them both.
Yeah.
Jim O'Hare, what do you got coming up?
You can see me last Tuesday on Parenthood.
Bust out your time machines.
Yeah, they'll probably rerun it at some point.
And I shot a little thing with Francis Fisher,
one of the women from the Titanic.
And I played her husband.
She's 60. And I played her husband. She's 60.
And I played her husband.
At least you didn't play Gloria Stewart's husband.
That's true.
It's called Grow Up.
Weekend at Bernice's would be that movie.
Retta, what are you doing?
I'm appearing in many shorts during our break.
I bet you're kind of sarcastic in most of them.
Maybe.
I show a little cleavage in one. Oh.
And if you find yourself in Anvil, Pennsylvania next week,
I'll be at Lebanon Valley College.
What?
Doing what?
Stand-up.
Stand-up.
Nice.
That's awesome.
Slinging jokes.
Woo!
Ready butter.
That's how I knew about the opera,
is because you used to have an opera bit in your stand-up.
Still do.
I don't let it go.
It's my closer.
Amy, what's going on?
What's happening?
Freak dance.
Yeah.
That's all I'm going to say.
Google it.
And Adam, I know you shot a movie with my other friends,
Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeld.
When's that coming out?
That'll be probably in like a year.
Yeah, yeah, because it's an indie movie that she made herself, right?
Right.
But My Idiot Brother, I'm in this movie. My Idiot Brother
is out this year
or sometime. I don't know when. Maybe over the summer?
Do you have a brother? I do.
Promoting that's going to be awkward
because you had to go, a movie, My Idiot
Brother, because when you said My Idiot Brother, it sounded bad.
And his name is Mai, so it's super weird.
Just kidding.
No, I'm not kidding his name is my awesome so thanks very much to everybody for coming adam scott amy paula retta jim o'hare chris pratt pratt pratt and ben schwartz As always, Justin Davila is a shithead.
Jeff Murchie is a shithead.
Jennifer Quinton?
Quintero! I'm sorry.
Jennifer Quintero is a shithead.
L. Ron Hubbard is a shithead.
Who said that?
Who fucking said that?
And Philip Campos
is a shithead.
Thanks a lot, you guys!
See you in two weeks!