Doug Loves Movies - Amy Smart, Jesse Pasternack and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: July 30, 2016Live from the Traverse City Film Festival, Doug welcomes Amy Smart, Jesse Pasternack and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice... at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, squeamish, maybe sticky seeds
With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, then he won't see
Because Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug on Movies.
It gets better every year.
Coming to you from the Traverse City Film Festival
in Traverse City, Michigan.
Yeah!
City, Michigan!
Hang on, I gotta make an adjustment here.
Oh, Jesus!
This is like
Festivus.
Feet some strength.
You can do it!
Oh, that felt good.
Oh, it feels so good to finally get it where you want it
Like am I the only festival goer
That's just tired of the sponsors
Having seats that they get roped off
That just end up empty
Come on sponsors
You don't listen to this podcast
But if you did
You rich people,
give somebody a call
when you're not going to use your seats.
That's what I say.
But other than that, oh my God,
what an amazing festival.
It's Wednesday, July 27, 2016,
day two of the Traverse City Film Festival, and I know
a lot of people at the festival might
come out to see something without
necessarily, that's the best way to see
movies at the festival, just go,
take your chances, see what happens.
So there might be people here tonight
that are like, I don't know what Doug Loves Movies
podcast is, but I'm gonna go
because there's a buzz in town
and people are walking around with a bunch
of weird signs.
So my question is,
for those of you that don't worry
about it if you don't listen to the podcast,
but who here has
a name tag situation?
That
is a nice name tag turnout
and I'm glad to see there are none in the balcony
because you probably wouldn't get picked.
So it worked out pretty good.
Dust Independence Day.
I like it.
Attack of the Kelly Tomatoes.
That's a good one.
Dan Andreas.
You can't fault that one.
Your name is Dom?
So you're Dom Minions.
Yeah, there you go.
Have I seen that one before?
You showed it to me on Twitter.
That is correct.
I was just testing you.
What does the Jurassic Park one say?
Jurassic Mark?
Jurassic Nick Park?
Please leave the auditorium.
You know there's a movie called Nick of Time, right?
Don't have to Photoshop shit with that movie Oh, this one's really complicated
What's going on here?
Oh, I thought you were like, here's my name tag
Just hold up a camera.
Bach to the future?
Yeah.
And you've got Bach, the composer, a doll of him on there?
And Jesse.
And Jesse?
Okay.
We'll talk about that later.
There's no guarantees that there's anybody up here named Jesse tonight.
But what's this obsession with Bach?
Is your name Bach?
Yeah.
Your first name?
No.
No.
Of course not.
My first name is Beethoven.
So Bach is your last name, B-A-C-H. Yep. and what's your first name Matt Matt Matt Bach why did you get a picture of Andy Griffith do you get it
he laughed and he didn't even get it There was this show on TV called Matlock starring Andy Griffith.
Is that a movie?
Oh, good point.
You really showed me.
Matlock is not a movie.
I wish it would have been.
That would have been great, Matlock, the movie.
Thank you.
You can put them down now.
Thank you, everybody, for bringing name tags.
And all of those folks are going to have an opportunity to potentially win some prizes at the end of the show.
So if you didn't bring a name tag, don't feel bad because the prize is just this bag of shit.
This bag of garbage.
Doug plugs later tonight.
Who's coming to my interruption later tonight
state theater
we're going to interrupt
kisses for my president
or is it kisses from my president
I think it's for
kisses for my president
and it is a movie from 1964
starring Fred McMurray
who everybody loves from the uh flubber movies
and uh he was the absent-minded professor and he was also the dad on my three sons and uh he stars
in a movie that i have never seen or i certainly maybe i'll remember it once I start watching it but where he's it takes place in 1964
and a woman becomes president
and he's the first man
and the whole
comedy is just about how crazy it is
that a woman would be president
and
so Michael Moore picked that movie
to show tonight and I said
okay it's your festival
and so I didn't mean to bring you guys pick that movie to show tonight and I said, okay, it's your festival.
And so I didn't mean to bring you guys down.
Some of you
seem really fired up that you were going tonight.
I think it'll be hilarious.
I hope it's hilarious, but I'm just saying
I don't know what that movie is.
And then Friday night, in honor
of it being Donald Trump's favorite
movie,
we're going to interrupt Bloodsport.
Yeah.
JCVD.
And speaking of interruptions, I'm going to interrupt The Rock in San Francisco on Saturday, August 13th at 420, douglosemovies.com.
That's douglosemovies.com.
From the corrections department,
we correct some things sometimes
from previous episodes.
From the corrections department,
let's see, it's
Now You See Him, Now You Don't.
Not Now You See
Me, Now You Don't.
Drew Barrymore was in
Batman Forever,
not Batman and Robin. And Drew Barrymore is not in Chef.
I'm so glad we were able to clear that up, because people are upset, and I believe in unity rather than division.
I believe in adding rather than division.
When it comes to math, the simpler the better.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
Past and future Doug Little's movies guest,
Ken Jennings, tweeted,
I wouldn't vote for Donald Trump
if he was running against the child catcher
from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
I was worried I couldn't get through that one without laughing
because you have to say
chitty bang bang
this has been tweet relief classic kids movie
edition let's see what's in the
prize bag you guys someone's gonna win
this
someone's gonna get this stuff
I called it shit earlier but it's stuff it's straight up stuff this festival is's going to get this stuff. I called it shit earlier, but it's stuff.
It's straight up stuff.
This festival is so nice to me.
They always give me a ton of great
things that I can't even use.
For instance,
one week, one free week
of yen yoga
and fitness over
a yen yoga and fitness on
Front Street.
I'm here to watch movies, not to
get fit.
But
yeah, only one person
can use this. They're very strict about that
on this
thing. A lovely photograph
of, I assume, somewhere
in the area.
And I also assume by an area photographer.
Yes, Diane Budznowski.
Budznowski.
Yeah, so that's a beautiful picture.
And then, oh, this is a fun gift certificate.
It's good for one six-inch pie
at the Grand Traverse Pie Company.
Those are good, right?
Speaking of good, here's a cookie from Fresh Coast.
Also delicious, but they're for dogs.
Every year I give these away after the first year where I drunkenly ate mine
I just saw cherry chews and they just look like little biscuits that have a nice icing on them
and so I ate them right up so I'm not making that mistake anymore
and oh I drank a whole jar of this last year. That was
a bad idea. Famous cream mustard.
No, I don't like mustard,
so that's why I'm giving that away.
And this is another fun one. It's
fudge. A little piece of
fudge. I wish I
could read the name of the place it's from.
Where?
Murdicks? Murdick's?
Murdick's Fudge?
Okay.
My name's
Murdick. You want some fudge?
No thanks,
Murdick.
I'm good, Murdick.
The koozie
that I don't understand what it's promoting.
Some marijuana rolling papers that say Viceland on them.
I got high in the Viceland bus at Comic-Con, so thanks to them.
And a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
And that's just the stuff that I brought.
My guests will also have prizes for the bags, so let's get them out here.
Let's give a big, warm Traverse City welcome to Jesse Pasternak, Amy Smart, and Jeff Tate. Jeff was... Thank you.
That's great.
They all got fans.
I love this photographer.
He's very brazen.
Very black.
He walks over and says,
Hey, Jesse,
I'd like to get your attention
for a photograph.
We're making a podcast here, man.
Yeah, it's all audio.
Respect the medium.
Let's respect our first-time guest.
We've got to talk to her immediately.
Amy Smart is here, everybody.
Amy Smart is here, everybody.
Completely shanghaied and bamboozled Because when she was asked if she wanted to do a movie podcast
She thought it would be, you know, like in a room somewhere
With headphones and microphones
Yeah
And no audience
And you wouldn't have to compete in
film-related games against a
comedian and a film historian.
And me.
I said
comedian.
Yeah, I get it.
I got what you did.
So thank you so much, Amy,
for just walking into this
trap. I'm here to rally.
Yeah.
I think you're going to do great because we all love you from all the movies you've been in.
You're a big movie star.
And you also love Traverse City.
You summer here.
I do.
Yeah, that's neat.
This is the best city ever.
Love it.
It's a good break from L.A.
Yeah, it's a perfect getaway from LA
it's beautiful
it's similarly warm
you know what I mean
so you don't have to change it
you just bring the same clothes you were wearing out there
and uh
yeah
everyone here is so nice
like when you're walking down the street in LA,
people aren't going to say hi like they do here.
Because here they say hi
like they don't want anything from you.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, hi!
And you're like,
do they recognize me or not?
You know?
No, they're just nice.
It's great.
Yeah, nice people here.
Yeah.
And you've got a movie that's playing on
I want to get this right
it's Friday
at 6 o'clock
yes
at one of the venues here
do you know which one
at Lars
Lars Hochstad
Hochstad
yeah
the gymnasium
that's amazing
but it's got an amazing
theater in it
and um
so that's Friday
and what's the movie called
it's called Sister Cities
we already talked about it
backstage
I still can't remember it.
It's one of those ones that just doesn't stick for me.
Sister Cities, what's it about?
Yeah, it's about these four sisters
who come together for their mother's funeral.
And it takes place over a weekend.
And it's the dysfunction and drama
and the whole crazy relationship that they all share.
Chekhovian, I think they call it
in the program guide.
It is Chekhovian. Yeah.
But not based on Chekhov. No.
Just more like a modern story of
four sisters. Like, we added a sister.
Yeah.
That's what modernized it.
Chekhov, the guy from Star Trek?
Jeff, don't be dumb.
He passed away recently.
Oh, no, that wasn't...
That was...
I get that wrong all the time.
I'm terrible with Star Trek names.
Oh, I was right that time.
Still a terrible joke to make
about a great actor
that I miss very much
who I think is in a movie here
at the festival
or he's got something coming out
oh yeah, Star Trek
so
yeah, yeah
so I'm excited to see your film, Amy
and thanks again for being here
and let's meet the other fellas
on the panel, starting directly
on my left, you know him, you love him.
One person yelled out for him,
even though he's an adult man,
yelling at a 20-year-old.
It's Jesse Pasternak, everybody!
Thank you, thank you.
Third appearance on this show
in as many years,
or I should say more
because you do it in New York as well,
because you hail in New York.
Yep.
You come to Traverse City
to moderate film discussions
after the movies here at the festival,
and you also attend school
in Bloomington, Indiana.
Yep.
Your mom calls it Bloomy's.
That's right. I was going to say it if you didn't.
Sorry.
No, it's all good.
We're like a great team.
We're really working together well.
And how's school going?
Oh, it's been going great.
I actually was recently in London with a school program.
We were there for three weeks just studying screenwriting. It was awesome.
I'm sorry, I missed something.
Now, when they do screenwriting in
England, do they write from the other side
of the road?
Yep, and there are U's where you don't expect U's to be.
So, take it a little bit
of an adaptation.
And I heard you're turning 21
this December. I am.
And then you'll go back to school for your last semester,
or you'll have another year after that?
Another year after that.
Because you know that's quite a party school that you've chosen.
Yeah.
And you're not a partier, really.
Yeah, I wish someone had told that to me.
I only learned that halfway through the year.
I would have told you that!
Or didn't you see the movie Breaking Away?
Oh, yeah.
The students are very mean to the
locals.
Locals are the heroes.
The cutters, yeah. They're the heroes in that movie.
Not those fucking...
You are. Not a student
like you. Jerk that
just comes to town and doesn't like their partying
ways. Never describe me better,
Doug. It's me to a T.
I heard you tried to outlaw dancing at the school.
Well, I did until this kid
wouldn't stop dancing and talking about how
Footloose's style was. Oh, shit.
Came right back
at me.
Kept talking about how Footloose's style was.
Speaking of people
with Footloose style, what do you got to say?
That Footloose would have been crazy
If it was just everybody was in that town
And then Lithgow moved there
It was like no dancing
That's what the movie was about
I don't like what you guys are up to
I'm not from here but
Lock it down
It's crazy enough as it is
Because kids die from drunk driving
And they go we gotta stop the dancing
Dancing leads to alcohol No because kids die from drunk driving and they go, we gotta stop the dancing.
Dancing leads to alcohol.
No!
The boys aren't dancing unless they're drunk first.
Jeff Tate is here, everybody.
Nobody died from drunk driving the whole time dancing was outlawed.
That's a good point.
Oh, that is a good point.
I'm just pointing out that when dancing was allowed,
people died from drinking and driving.
Then they outlawed dancing,
nobody dies from drinking and driving.
And then they let dancing happen again,
the whole town's dead now.
Yeah, because the movie ends with them just at the dance.
You have no idea how many
fatalities there were
because they were dancing.
They don't even have a moment where it
seems like they're sneaking in booze or anything.
They just want to fucking dance.
They want it so bad.
And then they're so good. Some of the kids at the dance
are like popping and locking.
How did you learn that if dancing is outlawed?
It would have been great if they showed the dance
and then like 20 minutes into the dance,
everybody's like, oh yeah, we hate dancing.
Yeah, just cut to the dance
and the guys are on one side of the room,
the girls on the other side of the room.
They're all wishing they could go home
and there's people drinking and smoking weed
out in the parking lot.
No dancing.
Alright, you guys. Here's the thing
that Amy got roped
into this. So she doesn't know about
all the particulars of what's
about to happen. So we're
going to try to gently talk her through
everything. Thank you, Doug. I think you're
going to do great. I think you're going to nail
it. But the first thing you need
to know is that your people
or whoever said yes
for you or whoever asked
you, it was a direct question,
right? One person from this festival said,
will you do this thing? And I told her,
I was like, tell her to bring something for the prize
bag. And these are
the first time you're hearing those words, right?
Prize bag? Yeah.
So what did you
bring? I brought
Bridesmaids.
DVD.
That is so nice of
Jesse to give up half of his prize
contribution.
He's such
a good boy.
And I know you're not in Bridesmaids,
but you're probably a fan, right?
Yeah. Sure, it's a great movie.
So why don't you sign it?
So we'll get an Amy Smart signed copy of
Bridesmaids. That'll be a
one-of-a-kind item. That is true.
Unless you go nuts and just show up at Walmart
and start signing away.
Do you think I should open
the package? I think so, because I think
they sign better that way.
I think that's a good way to go.
Sign it on the cellophane
so they can't open it.
It's a collectible. Don't touch it.
Enjoy not watching this
if you want to preserve my
signature.
Wait, I thought of this joke a minute ago.
It's always a Bridesmaids DVD.
Never the Bride on DVD.
Right? That's the movie, right?
The Bride with Sting and Jennifer Beals.
Yeah, yeah.
See? You guys were wrong.
That was a great joke. You fucked up. Clancy Brown as the
monster.
Can I ask a real
just a quick... Please, yeah.
Whatever you got. Why are the house lights still on?
Oh, they might have turned them up
for the, when I said, can I see the name tags?
Or they just like to leave them up.
I don't know which way that...
Oh.
Now I'm in the shadows.
And very comfortable.
Thank you guys also for being here tonight because you could be watching Wayne's World
outside by the water
for free.
Yeah, there's a couple people disappointed.
If you hurry, you can catch the part
where there's some sort of inevitable conclusion
that doesn't really matter.
It's just a fun movie.
But you get lots of choices here of things to do,
and so we appreciate you coming out.
Jeff, what do you have for the prize bag?
Oh, I got all my stuff.
You brought all your stuff?
No, I brought my three things.
It looks like it's full of, like, laundry.
No. Well, it's because it's a laundry
bag.
I got my hat that says, make Jeff Tate
again. That's my slogan.
Would you mind
if I made, uh, make, uh,
bake America, or...
Not at all, Doug. Do whatever you think is fake bake America
again I screwed it up make America baked again yeah something like that yeah I won't do it you
can what else you got there in your armpit I am a shirt that's like no I know this one it's uh
hang on no I know it's big the guys that made them was like
i have a couple left you could just have them and there were there was like two triple extra
larges and an extra small so those are the three i have so if you're some kind of freak i guess i
got a shirt for you and And a copy of the...
Whoever wins the prize bag will just win it, and they'll have to
give it to a freak.
One size fits all.
CD, Jeff Tate again. There we go.
Awesome.
And, uh,
Jesse, what do you got? Well, uh, today is
Norman Lear's birthday. Uh, there's
a documentary about him.
How old is he now?
94, I think.
I think he's up there, yeah.
Yeah.
Still wearing that same hat, though.
Yeah.
He committed to that hat like 40 years ago.
Yeah.
It's the hat's birthday today, too, so doubly special.
And I brought his autobiography.
Even this I get to experience.
So if you see the movie on Friday and think,
Oh, I want to hear more
about the night they raided Minsky's, or
oh, I'd like to hear more about Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.
Here's where you go.
There's no 20-year-old on this planet
other than you that's talking about
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.
You're a very special young man.
Thank you.
Thank you for bringing that. Here, Jeff, can you pass
all the prizes down to
me to put in the bag?
I did already.
I'm like
holding them in my hand. Jeff,
when are you going to give me the prizes?
I need you to pass them to me.
I just meant bring me the bridesmaids.
Oh, that's so, and you put a little heart on there,
too. That's very sweet.
That's terrific. It's the unratedidesmaids. Oh, that's so, and you put a little heart on there, too. That's very sweet. That's terrific.
It's the unrated version, too.
Yeah, two more additional minutes of street shitting.
I think of jokes sometimes.
So anyway, Jeff, Tate,
what's the last movie you saw?
We saw it together.
No, you saw one this afternoon with me.
Which one was that?
That one was,
it was called
My Internship in Canada.
And it's in French.
I fucking read the whole thing
and it was hilarious.
I liked it a lot.
Yeah, it's really fun, but that's not the last
movie we saw. It was the last movie
I saw, right? No, because then we
went over to the other place, didn't we?
Oh yeah, that one. Oh, wait, what was
that one called? Listen, I want to talk
I watched Band of Robbers and that movie is
fucking awesome.
It's on Netflix.
Jeff, you're at a film festival.
Try to focus.
I remember the name of the Band of Robbers movie.
But what was the movie we just watched together today?
Funny.
Funny guy and a folk hero.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's right.
And we've seen like four movies so far.
I've seen five, you've seen four.
I've seen four.
And what are you looking forward to seeing?
Hell or High Water.
A Western with Jeff Bridges and...
Chris Pine.
Ben Foster.
Yeah.
Good cast. No women, apparently. Chris Pine Ben Foster Yeah, good cast
No women apparently
One of the few things here
That doesn't either feature women
Or was in fact made by women
This year at the festival
There's a weird laugh over there from some guy
Are you a Ghostbusters hater?
And I loved it What's that? I saw Ghostbusters and I loved it.
What's that?
I saw Ghostbusters and I loved it.
Okay.
Again, we're at a film festival.
Settle down.
Keep focused.
That Infinitely Polar Bear?
I saw that.
That was last night.
Yeah, last night.
That's so good.
That's powerful.
That'll fucking stick with you.
Also, that guy smoked a lot.
Like, every scene started with him clicking that Zippo.
Click.
Yeah, he smoked so much he turned green eventually.
Mark Ruffalo humor for anyone who picked up on that.
Amy, have you seen anything yet since the festival started?
Well, I did see Infinitely Polar Bear, which I thought was so good.
Isn't it great?
Zoe Saldana is so great in that.
Yeah, and that last scene.
The kids are so good.
Oh, man, that last scene.
Did anyone see it here?
Yeah.
I got a little weepy at the end there.
Yeah, it's really good.
I was like bawling.
Did you see something today? I saw Citizen Kane today. Oh, what's really good. I was like, bawling. Did you see something today?
I saw Citizen Kane today.
Oh, what's that about?
I don't know, Rosebud.
What is it about?
Oh, no spoilers!
I've never seen Citizen Kane.
Today is your chance.
Instead, you saw a movie you don't even remember.
Yeah.
Is there anything you're looking forward to
aside from Sister Cities?
Yeah.
I'm going to see a documentary called C-Word tomorrow.
And then I'm going to see Wiener.
Wait, wait, wait.
The letter C.
The C-Word.
What's that about?
Trump?
Cancer.
Oh!
I thought it was going to be something,
and the answer would be more fun.
I can tell.
Why don't they call it the other C word?
What are you thinking, Doug?
Cats. I thought they finally made a movie of cats um but that sounds i'm sure like that's the thing is i i appreciate that you're going into it like
you know what it's about and it sounds like it's gonna be very heavy but there there really are
some uh movies here that can change your life i saw a movie today about a female all-lady basketball team,
and now I've decided I'm going to become a lady basketball player.
It's called The Pistol Shrimps, if you get a chance to check that out.
What about you, Jesse? I know you've got a big answer loaded up.
Yeah, well, I recently saw Women Who Kill.
I did a Q&A for that.
It's this sort of crime, lesbian crime comedy set in Brooklyn.
And then I also saw a little-known indie film called Citizen Kane today.
So you had not seen it before?
Oh, I've seen it like six times.
Oh, Jesus.
Six times, you guys. How many people here tonight over 30 haven't seen it before? Oh, I've seen it like six times. Oh, Jesus. Six times, you guys.
How many people here tonight over 30 haven't seen it once?
Yeah, I didn't need you to actually respond.
First time on the big screen, though.
Right, that's neat.
That's very neat.
And you could sit there and, did you annoy everyone around you?
That was the first time they did rack focus!
That sort of thing.
Well, I tortured Sam, I promise. That was a terrible impression of your voice, but you know everyone around you? That was the first time they did rack focus! That sort of thing. Well, I tortured Sam.
That was a terrible impression of your voice,
but you know what I mean.
It's totally okay.
But it was so old, it's probably all cards.
This is the first time they ever used a car in a movie.
Jesse knows everything about fucking movies.
There's a ton of firsts in Citizen Kane, for sure,
because he did a lot of really interesting things.
Or maybe a lot of firsts for, like, you know,
he maybe stole it from somewhere else, but first
in the American, you know,
a movie made in the good
old U.S. of A. Although, we started
movies. I learned that the other day. Michael Moore
taught me that
it's the biggest
and best homegrown
industry that America has.
Cinema. Cinema.
Yeah.
Yeah, a French word.
What are you looking forward
to seeing, Jesse?
Pistol Strimps.
I'm going to see that
later today.
Folk here and Funny Guy
I'm going to see too,
so covering a lot of ground
that you've already done.
Just everything here
really seems great.
Just great movies.
Right?
That's their slogan.
Yeah. just everything here really seems great. Just great movies. Right? That's their slogan. Jesse's like a brand ambassador for them.
Let's open it up to the floor for a second.
Someone, raise your hand if you've seen a bad movie at this festival.
Like a movie you hated.
Right?
Ever?
At this festival ever, not just this year,
because it's only the second day.
I mean, I have too.
I didn't like that thing about the pigeon on the windowsill or whatever it was called last year.
It was fucking creepy as hell.
But I get why people like it, because it was fucking creepy as hell.
I was just like, no thank you.
Oh, I walked out of Creep two years ago.
Right, but we talked about that.
It was at midnight, and it has a lot of scenes where Mark Duplass just jumps out at you. Yeah, it left, I walked out of Creep two years ago. Right, but that, we talked about that. It was at midnight, and it
has a lot of scenes where Mark Duplass
just jumps out at you. Yeah, it's very startling.
It's very startling. It's like too late
to be startled. This is what that movie is.
Hey!
And the other guy in the movie's like,
what? And then everyone in the audience is like, hey,
holy shit!
It was like one in the morning, I was stoned. I was like,
this is not what I need right now
I get it
you can make a movie
for a nickel
but stop scaring me
and I think
we had to get up
and do the 9.30am
comedy panel
the next day
so that might have been
another reason
why you bailed on it
yeah
I didn't want to tell you
I was leaving
because it was too scary.
I got an early day, Doug.
Will you walk me back to the hotel real quick?
No.
Unrelated.
I eventually saw the whole thing,
but I left eventually that night, too,
because I was tired of every time they went,
hey, I'd get woken up.
So I was like,
I gotta see this
under better circumstances.
So I watched it in my lap
on Netflix
as soon as it came out.
But it's a fun movie.
Creep, if you haven't seen it.
Oh, so you raised your hand
about you saw one you hated.
What's the one you hated?
You're the guy that got up here
one time, right?
You're the guy that replaced Oner Tuchel when he was drunk. What's the one you hated? You're the guy that got up here one time, right? You're the guy that replaced
Owner Tuchel when he was drunk.
So Amy, if you get too drunk
tonight,
this guy's ready to take your place on stage.
Do you want me to come up
and take my place right now?
You gotta get drunk first.
What are you drinking?
Water?
Yeah, there you go.
You have to stay. No. I get drunk first. What are you drinking? Water? Water. Yeah, there you go. Can I have some drink?
You have to stay.
No.
Several years ago,
a movie called
Helen and Joy,
and it was...
Seven years ago?
You have to go back
seven years of Traverse City?
You come every year?
Actually, that was probably
like eight or nine years ago.
Eight or nine years ago,
out of a festival
that's existed 12 years,
you had one movie
that you didn't care for.
Called what again?
Helen and Joy.
Helen and Joy?
Helen.
Helen?
Yeah.
And Joy.
Yeah.
Okay.
It was not joyful.
Not joyful.
Was it Helen?
Jesse and I racing to that joke.
It must have been really bad, though.
Like, for him to remember nine years later
the time... I can't remember the name of the movie
I saw at three o'clock today.
I can't remember the name
of the pigeon stood still on the window
while somebody ate a sandwich.
I can't remember. It was like something
about wondering about their existence, right?
You know what I'm talking about.
See, he says
the whole thing right there. Pigeon sat on a branch reflecting on existence.
And guess what?
There's not a fucking pigeon in that movie.
There's not a branch in that movie.
But if you want to see an innocent monkey get shocked and tortured, check it out.
Oh, wait, I do want to see that.
I don't want to watch fucking pigeons do shit, but if they're fucking with monkeys, I'm in.
It's a really
weird movie. Like, every scene in the
movie just takes place from, like, one angle
and they just sort of act out the whole scene
and then it goes to the next scene
and most of the scenes are just
make no sense whatsoever.
Also, it's Scandinavian.
Oh, I had to throw that in there.
Now it's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Let's begin!
Amy, you will soon notice,
and we can go ahead and bring the house lights up a little bit,
thank you,
that people brought really fun name tags because they want you to pick
one and they want you to play on their behalf in our movie trivia games. And they just start
yelling out shit. A lot of the people are very polite, but some of you just keep yelling.
So yeah, so Amy and Jeff, Jesse's already got one, but pick whoever you'd like to
play for, and while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right
back after this message.
Hey
everybody, today's episode is brought
to you in part by Loot Crate.
Loot Crate is a monthly subscription
box service for epic geek
and gamer items and pop culture gear.
For less than $20
a month, you get 4-8 items that include licensed
gear, apparel, collectibles, unique one-of-a-kind items, and
more. Make sure to head to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter the code
Doug to save $3 on any new subscription. LootCrate is
more than just a subscription service. It's an entire community of fans
that share their experience and interact
with each other around the unboxing
of each month's crate. And they
guarantee $40 plus
in value in
every crate. Sometimes
it's a lot more. Every month there's
a different theme and all the items are curated
around that theme. Previous crates
have included items from franchises
like Star Wars, Marvel, The Walking Dead, The Legend of Zelda, and many more.
From bad guys doing good things for the wrong reason to good guys with questionable tactics,
August is the perfect time to explore the anti-hero.
Walk the hero-villain line with this 100% exclusive collection of items from DC Comics, Archer, Dark Horse, and Kill Bill
that includes two great collectibles,
a wearable, and of course, our monthly tee.
And don't forget about the pin!
Remember, you have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific
to subscribe and receive that month's crate.
And when the cutoff happens, that's it.
It's over.
So go to lootcrate.com slash Doug
and enter the code doug to save three
dollars on your new subscription today back to the show all right we're back jeff tate who are
you playing for i'm playing for marianne the henderson's marianne is her name the henderson
marianne the henderson yeah and she turned you you Why'd the house lights go up now
She turned you into a Sasquatch
Yeah I mean it wasn't
Difficult
I have the
It's the
Doesn't take much
Alright very good
Yeah Mary Ann the Henderson
I like the way her name
Made the and apart also
alright
who you got there Amy
I got Jen Menji
Jen Menji
like Jumanji
but she put Jen in there
yep
very clever
yay
why'd you pick that
do you like that movie
no
it's no road trip it isn't no No.
It's no road trip.
It isn't.
No.
I love that movie.
Yeah, they're making a new Jumanji, I guess.
Are they?
Yeah, we'll see how that works out.
But you can go ahead.
Only girls this time.
Hulk directing.
And girl animals, too.
They're all girls.
Just lady animals.
You can put it down on the floor if you'd like, or the stage, I should say.
And Jesse, what do you got?
I got Bach to the future.
Yeah, you do.
There's a faction figure of Johann Sebastian
Bach on the top. There's a little
sticker of me there.
And then Jeff's
face is over
Marty McFly's face.
There's a big poster
of Back to the Future.
And then Doug's
here right near
the DeLorean.
And then, I'm sorry,
what's your name again?
Matt.
Matt.
Matt's sitting over here
right in the middle
of the flames
cheering maniacally.
So it looks really cool
and I just thought
it'd be fun.
You're right.
It is fun.
Yeah.
It's just, I've never
quite seen anything like it.
It's like a banner
but it's also got an action figure
and
I don't want to hold it.
It just looks like if you go out
on a windy day, you have a kite
on your hands.
That's me. If you have a really small windy day, you have a kite on your hands. Yeah, that's me.
If you have a really small pirate ship,
you're going to be great.
This could get you home.
You're laughing like a pirate.
Shiver me timbers.
It's February in Traverse City.
All right, you guys.
We got to play these games.
Holy shit, we're running behind schedule.
I'll try to explain them to you the best I can, Amy,
but keep in mind that whoever wins tonight,
the person they're playing for
is only going to get a signed copy of Bridesmaids.
They're going to love it.
They're going to be happy to have it,
but it's no big deal.
I'm sorry.
I didn't get the memo.
Oh, I wasn't trying to like...
I was just saying that that's the best thing
in the Prismate.
I think his stuff is pretty great.
My album's pretty good.
I mean, I shit on...
You think your album is better
than Bridesmaids?
It has the same shitting on the street
track as Bridesmaids.
Alright, the first game
we're going to play is called Characters Welcome.
And
in this game,
Amy, just use your microphone
and answer as often as you like.
I'm going to start naming characters played by a famous actor.
And you can guess as often as you want.
And the first contestant who guesses the right actor wins the game.
What actor has played a character named Sandra?
Amy's smart.
I don't think I'd try to sneak by her
the names of all the characters she played.
Would you recognize them?
Are there characters you played
that you couldn't remember the name of your character?
Possibly.
Yeah, right?
Because sometimes it's just a first name. Yeah. Yeah, so you couldn't remember the name of your character? Possibly. Yeah, right? I paid for them. Because sometimes it's just a first name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you can't remember them all, but you definitely never played a Sandra.
I don't think so.
Yeah.
Okay, so you're good.
Okay.
Who also played Sky King Waitress?
Sky King Waitress.
I'll give you another one.
The guy in the audience just said Jesse.
I don't even know what he was hoping would happen.
Who also played Nico the Goth Girl?
Ally Sheedy.
This is a motion picture.
Good guess.
This is a motion picture where somebody played Nico the goth girl.
And then she also played Dee Dee
in a movie.
Also a character
named Megan.
Is it
Amy Smart?
Why do you think I would say no to you the first time
and then change my mind?
You don't watch if you are right.
No, he's not.
What about... No, he's not.
What about...
You never played a goth girl in anything?
What about Abby Yates?
Does that help anybody?
A character named Abby Yates? Does that help anybody? A character named Abby Yates?
Aubrey Plaza.
No.
Kat Dennings.
Julia Roberts.
No, if you're just going to rattle off names,
I'm going to turn off your microphone.
Who also played
Michelle Darnell?
Some of the audience knows it
or sat on something.
Oh, Melissa McCarthy.
Melissa McCarthy.
Melissa McCarthy's the correct answer.
Jesse did it.
We almost pounded.
I wasn't intending to pound,
but you went for the pound,
so I gave you the pound.
I didn't count.
Yeah, she played Michelle Darnell
in one of her more recent movies, The Boss.
And I was going to go on to say Susan Cooper from Spy,
Cece Pincus from the movie Pumpkin,
and then, of course, she was Tammy in the movie Tammy.
I figured worst-case scenario, if I got to Tammy, you guys would start guessing.
No bridesmaids?
Yeah, she was in Bridesmaids.
She played Megan.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
My bad.
I would not, with a gun to my head,
could not tell you the names of the girls in Bridesmaids.
As much as I enjoy that movie.
I am dying to know what movie she was a goth girl in.
Well, I'll tell you because I wrote it down.
The Life of David Gale.
Starring Kevin Spacey
as the titular role.
Yeah, and she was Sky King Waitress
in Disney's The Kid with Bruce
Willis.
Yeah, yeah.
She's had some interesting roles and she's
great and I like her. Alright, let's had some interesting roles And she's great and I like her
Alright, let's play another game
But Jesse gets to go first because he won that game
Let's play ABCD's Nuts
It's not as horrible as it sounds, Amy
It sounds like incredibly sexist things about to happen
But it's just a silly name for a spelling game
The Democratic National Convention Is happening as we speak but that's just a silly name for a spelling game uh the the democratic national convention is
happening uh as we speak uh so i thought it'd be fun to spell out dnc convention so we'll start
with jesse so your letter is d and then we'll go to jeff and then to you amy and you just when you
get when it gets to your letter and dnC convention you just have to name any movie
that begins with that letter
any movie at all
sounds easier than it is
and if you say the movie that I wrote down in advance
on this piece of paper
if you match me, you win this game automatically
start with you Jesse
Dazed and Confused
the letter is D
sorry with you, Jesse. Dazed and Confused. The letter is D.
Sorry.
Dazed and Confused is correct.
I went with DC Cab.
Yeah.
Jeff?
N is your letter.
D-N-C Convention. The letter N.
Nightcrawler.
I like that movie.
I went with National Treasure.
Yeah.
C is the next
letter, Amy. Any movie that begins
with C. You can't say
the C word because that begins with T.
How about Carrie?
Yes, that's a good one.
They made it twice.
Either one would qualify.
I went with Charlie Wilson's War.
That's good.
We're back to you, Jesse, with the next C.
Charlie Bartlett.
Oh, that's good.
I went with Clear and Present Danger.
Oh, Jeff, bring it home.
Wait.
I'm concentrating.
I'm sending the vibes to you.
DNC Convention.
Oh, got it.
National Convention Convention.
Oh.
Oh.
That's my answer.
Oh.
Oh, yeah. The high school's my answer. Oh. Oh, yeah.
The high school version of Othello.
Yeah.
Was Mekhi Pfeiffer in that?
He was, yeah.
Thank you, Jesse.
I really like Mekhi Pfeiffer.
But why does the rabbit character,
why does Eminem's character mention Mekhi Pfeiffer in a rap when he's buddies with a guy played by Mekhi Pfeiffer who has a different name?
You can't answer that.
What's happening, Jeff?
I am, uh...
Explaining?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess explaining, yeah, I mean
Sorry. No, that's all good
I went for the letter O, I went with Olympus
has fallen. Yeah, shit
Yeah, I knew it
Yeah, so we're back to you
Amy, we just need an N
an N word
The title that begins with the letter N
Just start to say like
Never ending story
What?
Never ending story
I like it
It's probably the never ending story
But I'll take it
Can you take it?
Thanks
Just take it
I'll take it
I went with National Treasure Book of Secrets.
V is the next letter, Jesse.
Taken.
V?
Oh, V. My bad, my bad. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
V for vendetta.
I thought you said T. My bad. Sorry.
It's okay.
Sometimes it feels like kind of a contvention.
I went with...
Cont doesn't mean anything, you guys.
You don't have to read anything into it.
Philosopher.
Yeah.
I went with Videodrome.
And the reason I chose that movie,
because it doesn't fit in with all the others,
is because it's set in Toronto,
and I'll be there doing Doug Lowe's movies
on Thursday, August 4th.
E is the next letter, Jeff.
You got this.
I think you're going to nail it.
Enter the Dragon.
It's a great movie.
I figured out the pattern. So that a great movie, but...
I figured out the pattern, but I...
Yeah, right.
So that's why I went with Elvis and Nixon.
Yeah.
Another N.
You got another N, Amy.
Nowhere Land?
Nowhere Land?
Yeah.
I'll take it.
Thanks.
I went with Night at the Museum,
Battle of the Smithsonian.
Tea, Jesse.
Taken 2.
Oh.
I went with The Omen.
Gregory Peck is the president in that, right?
Alright.
Alright.
I, Jeff.
I know what you did last summer.
To the Traverse City Music Festival.
We were both here last summer.
Yeah.
In the line of fire.
Yeah.
Now, Amy has to try the letter O.
Wait, did you say Othello?
No.
That's been made into a movie a bunch of times.
I'm saying Othello.
And it's also a great board game.
I went with Owning Mahoney.
And again, it doesn't fit the theme.
It's just...
It also takes place in Toronto,
where I'll be on August 4th.
And Jesse, I have great confidence in you
to bring home,
after DC Cab, National Treasure,
and the Line of Fire,
you get what's happening here.
Give me that final N for the win.
I'm sorry, Nowhere Boy?
Oh, can I guess?
Yeah. Is it just Nixon?
Yes.
Yep, straight up Nixon.
So nobody won,
so let's just call it a night.
Alright,
divvy up that bag, everybody.
No, we got time for more game action
You guys good? Is everybody good?
We're going to play
Whose tagline is it anyway?
And this is a fun game because
I'm going to say to you Jesse
You'll start us off and then we'll go to
Amy and then to Jeff
I'm going to say to Jesse
A tagline from a motion picture.
That's the line on the poster or something the ads say.
And Jesse gets to guess first.
If he can't get it, he'll move over to you, Amy.
What movie has the tagline,
Prepare to be liberated?
A Bridge too far?
No.
Sounds about right.
Good guess, though.
Amy?
Independence Day.
Yeah.
Another great guess, but no.
I like how confident you were.
Jeff?
Braddock, missing in action.
It's a film that I'm very excited to see again
here at this festival.
The festival's founder, Michael Moore, directed it.
It's called Where to Invade Next.
Yeah.
There was a chance he was going to be a guest tonight,
so I was going to try to slip that by him.
Jesse, we'll start with you for the next one.
It takes a hero to know what's worth winning.
Rudy? It takes a hero to know what's worth winning. Rudy.
I honestly had to look at it.
No.
Remember the Titans?
That's a great guess.
It's not correct.
Damn.
Jeff.
Is it Varsity Blues?
That is correct.
You did not. Yeah, do you want to come up here?
Did you know it too?
No, he didn't know it.
But I guess it doesn't matter because Jeff took it down.
How'd you like being in that?
That movie's like a real cult classic, Amy.
Yeah, it was great.
It was fun to be in.
Yeah?
Everybody's, you're like, still, like, you have, like, get-togethers with all the Varsity Blues gang?
Well.
Not all of them.
Not all of them.
They come here in the summer with you and hang out?
Talk to the beak.
I do, I do. Yeah? Do you ever ever say I don't want your life you ever
call him up and say James I don't want your life yeah you gotta have that pause
in there I don't know why you're trying to make him sound black but I don't want your creek.
But, I guess...
Pacey.
What?
No, he just said that a lot in that show.
Pacey.
Yeah, he said another character's name.
Yeah, that's true.
Not as much as Sheriff Rick says,
Where's Carl?
Alright, here's a crazy tagline. We'll start with Jesse again.
A movie has a tagline, it's good.
Citizen Kane.
No.
No.
Boop, boop, boop, boop.
Amy?
Really? That's the tagline?
That's the tagline. It's good.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
It's good.
It's good.
It's good.
Jeff?
It's good.
Uh... Fuck. For some reason, I thought she was right, and so I stopped thinking. Jeff it's good uh fuck
for some reason
I thought she was right
that's why I stopped thinking
that was a really good answer
isn't that movie
Dick
that'd be a fun tagline
for Dick That'd be a fun tagline for dick.
No, it's a movie called Road Trip.
Wow.
Isn't that weird that that was the tagline?
It's good.
Do you still talk to the guys from Road Trip?
You ever call up the guy that was like... Tom Green? Yeah, you ever call up Tom Green
and go, I don't want your life!
I don't want your fingers.
Freddie, here's the thing.
That is another, you're, you have
like a, you must have a handful of movies
that are just on TBS and stuff all the time.
Do you ever, like, as a parlor game,
just turn on the TV and then people in the room will be like,
how did you know you were going to be on TV?
Oh, this is embarrassing. I also lost the remote.
Is this cool, guys? Is this okay?
The TV came on and I just dropped it.
It's gone.
You guys want to watch?
I mean, it just started.
All the time.
All the time.
I'm sorry.
I just don't get, you know,
people who have been in a ton of movies on the show that much.
So when I do, I see if I can sneak some stuff.
I've seen Outside Providence
40 times,
and I've never seen Citizen Kane.
That's the first thing Jeff said to me
when I said that you were going to be on, Amy,
is he's like, I can't wait to ask her about
Outside Providence.
Do you get a lot of that?
I do, actually.
People love Outside Providence?
Yeah, they do.
That's crazy.
It's not that crazy. It's a good movie.
I like the movie.
That guy gets the letter
and then the principal goes,
you got a letter from drugs?
And he goes, Delaney? And the guy
goes, do you know a lot of people named
drugs? It's so funny.
It's a good movie. You guys check it out.
Outside Providence. It's a
Farrelly Brothers movie, but with no shit jokes.
Very rare.
That's one way to describe it.
All right.
Jesse, we're back to you.
He was dead,
but he got better.
The passion of the Christ. Hey, Amy, can we get you, like, a beer or something?
Yes, please.
Do you have a kind that you like?
No.
Okay.
Just somebody bring Amy a random beer.
Just a random beer would be great.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
What do you think, Amy?
It's not what Jesse said.
Say that again?
He was dead, but he got better.
Dead awake?
Is that something you're in?
Yeah.
That seems to fit perfectly, but that's not it.
That's not the answer.
Jeff?
Um. That seems to fit perfectly, but that's not it. That's not the answer. Jeff? Are you just talking about that guy on Justified
that got shot and she thought it was her,
but then it turned out to be him?
Like, is it from a movie?
Way to work that in.
Wow.
The chief, the marshal chief,
the number one example of why you shouldn't follow people on Twitter.
If you like them on a show.
Boy, that guy's a maniac.
Oh, there you go.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Let's hear it for beer.
She's drinking a beer, you guys.
It's about to get crazy.
Woo.
Did you guess something?
It really got crazy
it's all excited right now
they did run it out here
so that's why it's overflowing
Jeff do you have a guess?
I was going to say
oh you were saying justified
season 5
he was dead but he got better
That's the tagline from
Crank High Voltage
And another
Amy Smart classic
I'm just waiting for you to do the tagline
For Scotland PA
It's going to be great
Wow
Wow I'm up here with a bunch of nerds for Scotland PA. It's going to be great. Wow. Hey.
Wow, I'm up here with a bunch of nerds.
I like that one a lot.
It was a fun film.
Macbeth.
Based on Macbeth.
Yeah, I watched it in school.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
My teacher was kind of weird.
Good taste, though. Very good taste.
Did you, like...
When you think of the movies based on Macbeth, you know, it's like,
Curacao, I made one. Lawrence Olivier, eh, here's one by Billy Morissette.
All right, cool. That's pretty cool.
Wow. Yeah, dude, I. Here's one by Billy Morissette. Alright, cool. That's pretty cool. Wow.
Yeah, dude, I understood two words in that sentence.
Yeah.
That was a tough one to follow, but...
It was when he went, here you go, and I was like,
oh, I got that.
He's accepting something.
Alright, let's do
one more.
Jesse?
Yeah?
He loves her.
She loves him not.
Oh, God.
Jeff is so excited.
You were going to win today, buddy.
I don't think this one's going to get to you, Jeff.
I know.
You got anything, Jesse?
She loves a nut.
I'm going to say...
I don't know.
Sorry, pass.
Lolita the musical?
I don't know.
Lolita?
Sorry.
Lolita would fit, I think, kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Amy?
Just friends?
That's correct.
You knew it.
Yeah, yeah.
Preston and Steve,
those Philadelphia radio guys,
photoshopped my face
onto that poster a lot.
I apparently look like
a fat Ryan Reynolds.
You mean Fryan Reynolds?
Yeah.
I look like the flashback scenes in Just Friends.
Well, when I was younger.
Not right now, no.
Yeah, not now.
Like six months.
You're between fat Ryan Reynolds and thin Ryan Reynolds now. Yeah, yeah. I'm like trying to get that fat suit off. Yeah, not now. Like six months. You're between fat Ryan Reynolds and thin Ryan Reynolds now.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like trying to get that fat suit off.
Yeah.
You're doing great.
I do ski in jeans.
Which is a joke from that movie.
You guys don't like movies?
What are you doing here?
That movie...
That's one of those movies that if it's on cable and I land on it,
especially, you know, HBO style cable where they don't cut anything out,
I'll just watch it every time.
It's one of my favorite comedies ever.
Yeah, I love it.
Come on, just friends, you guys.
I mean, it's a shame that Ryan Reynolds didn't really go on to do anything.
Or just get fatter.
Like, just get fatter, dude.
And then I could just look like Ryan Reynolds.
Maybe this is a leading question, Amy,
but who's your favorite on-screen romance man?
Who'd you like the most?
I think...
Well...
Jeff has a guess.
It's gotta be Timothy
Oliphant. Well, yeah.
Yeah, he's very handsome.
We love him. He's very handsome.
Solid. Also, he's got a sweet weed.
On it.
He's got a fucking lantern jaw. He's got handsome. Jawline's solid. Also, he's got a sweet weed on it. Yeah. Lantern.
He's got a fucking lantern jaw.
He's got a great hat on that show.
Wow, you're really into Timothy Ola fan.
I'm a Timothy Ola fan.
He was in the movie Go, and Melissa McCarthy was in it briefly, and her character was named
Sandra.
That's where that was from earlier.
Yeah.
All right, so we're going to call from earlier. Yeah. Alright, so we're
going to call Jeff the winner of that game
and we're going to play one more game. Is that cool?
We're doing alright on time.
You're going to love this, Amy, because in this
next game,
Jen Monji,
the person who you picked,
is going to be your lifeline.
And you can go...
I'm going to be Jen.
If you need help with an answer, you can go to Jen Manji once.
Okay.
Yeah.
And Jeff can go to...
It's over there somewhere.
No, right there.
Right there.
That lady.
Mary Ann.
Mary Ann Henderson. The name tag's on the crown right next to you. Yeah, behind me. Right there. That lady. Marianne. Marianne Henderson.
The name tag's on the crown right next to you.
Yeah, behind me.
Behind me.
All right.
So her name's Marianne?
Marianne Henderson.
Okay.
And Jesse, you can go to Bach.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got this.
You think you'd be of help to him?
He hopes so.
He's sitting real casual
A few people wrote to me on Twitter today
Saying I've got the perfect name for Last Man Stanton
And so that's what we're going to play
Is a little Last Man Stanton
In this game Amy
I'll tell her Jesse.
Don't worry about it.
He's trying to help her out. He's quite the gentleman.
In this game, we're going to get
someone in the audience
who I've pre-selected is going to tell us the name
of an actor or actress. I'm hoping for
an actress because that's the sort of
women is the theme of this festival
this year. And thanks
again to Amy for being a woman on this stage.
Happy to represent.
Yeah, because if you weren't here,
I just would have got Jesse's brother Sam to come up here,
and it would have been all dudes.
But so we're going to take turns naming movies
that this person, man or woman, has been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out,
but you do get one lifeline.
And I like to play out long on this one.
That's why I don't know what the name is going to be yet.
Is there somebody in the audience tonight
named Dirty Vicar?
Yeah, right here.
Well, that's you.
Oh, my God, such a super fan.
And I thought your name looked familiar, Dirty Vicar,
but I wasn't sure.
But what do you got in mind for us tonight?
Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson.
When you heard me say, I hope it's a woman, you just went, you know what?
Liam Neeson is such a great name that I'm just going to plow ahead and say Liam Neeson.
Liam is male backwards.
I just realized that.
It's the word male, but backwards.
Yeah, like male. Like mailman.
Do you know why he's called that?
Nope. Because he always delivers.
Especially if the package you're waiting for is death.
All right, so who do we say we're starting with?
Jeff.
Jeff, we'll start with you, and then we're coming to you, Amy.
So you have to think of a Liam Neeson movie.
And he's made a few.
He's made a few movies.
Do you know who Liam Neeson is?
Yes, I do.
She knows who he is.
Taken.
Shit.
Well, it's not that bad,
because you could say any movie
that's got Liam Neeson in it.
You just have to make sure you say the title right.
Yeah, I know.
So, so far we've got Taken.
Taken 2.
Yeah!
Jesse?
Taken 3.
Did you just do a Liam Neeson voice?
I did.
It's my very particular set of skills, Doc.
I'm going to hunt down your family
and I'm going to explain Godard to them.
Well, you see, he started in 1960 with Bredesen.
I'm going to go with a movie of his that I saw recently that it's one of my favorite Liam Neeson movies ever run all
night it's really good you guys have seen it Jeff
Non-stop.
Schindler's List.
I almost said, who did he play in that?
But I thought better of it, because it's not the kind of movie you want to make jokes about.
Jesse, I apologize to you in advance that there has not yet been a Schindler's List 2
so you're gonna have to
I'd like to follow up on Schindler's
see what he's up to
there's also Schindler's Fist
where he's trying to find his
oh no
did you say Schindler's Fist where he's trying to find his daughter. Oh, no!
Did you say Schindler's Fist?
You motherfucker!
But then he said he's trying to find his daughter.
I don't think he meant it sexually, Jeff.
No, no, no. He meant like Schindler's an action hero.
Yeah, no, I know, but...
He's not a person that puts his entire fist
inside of
a willing or unwilling
individual. He's so perfectly earnest and accidentally
like, that was crazy dirty.
But he didn't...
He wasn't going for it.
There's one person on the planet who
can say Schindler's Fist and not
mean it the way everyone thought you
meant it.
Your fucking parents didn't think you meant that.
I don't know.
The Pasternak's are pretty cool.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, who knows what they thought.
All right, so that's what you're going with.
Oh, no, wait.
Can I say something?
Yeah, your turn.
A million ways to die in the West.
Mm-hmm.
That's true.
Boy, the right answers really bring the room to a halt.
Jesus, guys.
I was watching that movie, and what's his name?
Doogie Howser showed up, and I was like,
a million ways to die in a vest.
All right, so we're still on
Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson.
I'll go with The Grey.
Yeah.
That's a movie where right when he's about to fight wolves,
they cut to the end credits.
And you go, I paid to see wolf fighting.
What the fuck?
Jeff?
Don't forget you have a lifeline.
No, I know. Before you say something youeline. No, I know.
Before you say something you regret.
Oh, too late.
I've said a lot of things.
Hang on.
No, a walk among the tombstones.
A walk among the tombstones.
Yeah, you pulled that one out.
Yeah, it was confusing.
Good job.
Difficult.
Amy, you want to use your lifeline?
Love Actually?
Yes!
Apologies for assuming you were tapping out.
You pulled a love, actually.
That's a great one.
Those scenes with him and that little kid
are my least favorite part of that movie.
Little kid thinks he can have a romance
with an adult woman.
It's ridiculous.
Jesse?
Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
Yeah.
Full title and everything.
I'm going to write down Epi 1, though, because I'm lazy.
I'm going to go with Kinsey.
About a professor from Indiana University.
Enough with the sex jokes, Jesse.
Yeah, where would Schindler's Fist
rate on the Kinsey scale?
That's the smartest joke I've ever made.
Did I do it right?
Yeah.
I've only heard of the Kinsey scale.
I don't really know what it means.
Just hoping it worked.
Is it my turn?
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to say the Deadpool.
What?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Dirty Harry movie.
Yeah.
I'm going to say Lifeline.
All right.
Where's your Lifeline at?
Where's Jen at?
The Lego movie.
Jen, do you have one?
The Lego movie.
The Lego movie?
Yeah.
That's what you want to say?
Yeah.
Do you agree with that, Amy?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
He's a voice in a Lego movie.
So standing.
He plays good cop, bad cop.
And it's very entertaining.
I'm going to go with a less entertaining.
Wait, isn't Jesse still in?
Yeah.
But you're mine first.
I... Is it Jesse still in? Yeah. But you're mine first. See if you want it. Go, Jesse.
Batman Begins.
Okay.
Now I'm going to go with...
Nell.
What?
Yeah.
What?
Nell with Jodie Foster.
No.
Going full R.
Yeah, yeah, chickabee
Chickabee
Chickabee
That's the word she says a lot, right?
That's the only word the wolves knew
So she learned how to say it
Chickabee
Wolves know how to say chickabee?
Apparently, she could only say one word
When she got found
Do you think that's what Liam Neeson says to the wolves
When the credits start to roll
in the gray? Yeah, yeah.
That's why he doesn't kill all those wolves in the
gray, because he thinks they're the ones.
He keeps trying to get them closer, like, where's
Nell? Where'd she go? She ran away.
I want to find her.
She has an amazing recipe for
homemade pudding.
I can't quite recreate it.
I only know about Nell from Norm Macdonald's Weekend Update jokes from when I was in high school. I've't quite recreate it. I only know about Nell from
Norm MacDonald's Weekend Update jokes from when
I was in high school. I've never seen the movie.
However, I will say a
Liam Neeson movie called Rob
Roy. Rob
Roy. Yeah. Great movie.
Great drink. Rob
Roy. Rob
Roy.
That better not be one of those ones
where he's not in it and you slipped it by me.
No, he's in it for sure.
Tim Roth is in it too?
I don't, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, Tim Roth, for sure.
No, wait.
Jessica Lange.
Liam Neeson did it, right?
All right, yeah, all right.
I don't know nothing about this Tim Roth settle down you guys
there's other actors
in it with him right
Rob Roy
a solo performance
so Amy
you used your lifeline already
so you might be in a pickle
a little pickle
he's in a pickle.
Just kidding. Maybe a
sequel to one of the movies we've already
mentioned?
Might work.
Yeah, I think so. Or...
You never worked with him? Star Wars. You never worked with him?
I didn't. I would love
to work with him. For reals?
For reals. Alright. How do you feel about getting kidnapped
in a movie? We'll put it out there.
I'll get taken.
Yeah. One of the great victim
roles.
Being related to Liam Neeson in a taken
movie.
Another Star Wars?
I wish there was one called that
Me too
Star Wars 1, Star Wars 2
Another Star Wars
Star Wars 3, another Star Wars
And then Force Awakens should have been called
Star Wars is back
Is it?
New and improved Star Wars.
I'll let you have it.
No.
No.
Did you give her one, Jeff?
No.
I gave her three and she won't say any of them.
He's got three.
He can afford it.
Satisfaction.
With Julia Roberts.
And Justine Bateman.
You said that like a total creep.
You said that like you were about to go,
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
I'm a creep! Hey!
Jesse, you still haven't used your Bach.
I don't want to.
Yep, I've got a couple more, though.
Okay.
No disrespect to you.
I'm sure you know.
I hope the one you say will help me, because I'm running out.
The Dark Knight Rises.
Okay.
I told you I was a mortal, Bruce.
Did you just say a line he says in the movie?
Yeah.
What is it again?
I told you I was a mortal, Bruce.
Oh, okay.
Was that what? Let's say it with the regular voice. I told you I was immortal Bruce. Oh, okay. Was that what?
Just say it with the regular voice.
I told you I was immortal Bruce.
It's a reference to the fact that in the comics his character's immortal, but in the movie he's not immortal.
Oh, yeah, I just didn't understand you.
I don't care.
I also think it's hilarious that Batman's real name is Bruce.
Like, Bruce works in
HR, but somehow he's Batman
in the Batman universe.
Told you I was immortal, Bruce.
I'm trying to think of the one. Don't say
audience if you know it, but there's a movie where Liam Neeson
is Diane Keaton's boyfriend
and her kid sees his naked penis
and asks him about it
and he tells him the story.
Something about like,
this penis has a certain set of skills.
And then it's fairly innocent,
but it's still just this guy
that's just dating the mom, showing off his penis
to a little kid
and the rest of the movie is just about
a court trial or whatever
he gets in a lot of trouble over that
misunderstanding
did you show that child your penis?
yes I did.
But, you know, you can't.
There's no arguing that.
I can't think of what it's called.
So I'm going to tap out
in the interest of time.
Because Jeff's still got more.
Lifeline.
What?
You were lying when you said you had three more?
All you had was satisfaction?
No, I have a couple more.
Oh, you just want to use your Lifeline before they tap out.
That's a smart play. Good work.
I'm sorry?
What?
Krull?
Krull?
Yeah, all right.
K-R-U-L-L?
Yeah.
Krull?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean, I know that's a movie, but I didn't know he was in it.
Well, it's a movie that stars Liam Neeson.
All right.
Well, the corrections department is going to be really annoyed if he's not in it.
Amy?
I'm tapped out.
You're all done?
I'm all done.
You did great, though.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Jesse?
Jesse.
Clash of the Titans.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Jeff?
Oh, you're out?
That's what I said a little while ago.
Yeah, no, I know.
There's a lot going on up here.
It's really complicated.
There's a blue light over there.
It looks like a train is headed towards us.
It's very scary.
No, I had one, and then the whole thing...
Oh, they just drop out, don't they?
Yeah.
It's no big deal getting beaten by a 20-year-old.
You're used to it.
Alright, I'm gonna...
God damn it.
No, hang on.
You didn't recognize the one I was describing?
It's the fucking...
The K-19 Widowmaker.
Yeah, he's in that one.
What's it called again?
K-19 Widowmaker.
What's it called again?
K-19 The Widowmaker. That's it called again? K-19 The Widowmaker.
That's correct.
Directed by a woman.
A woman.
The only one to win the Best Picture, Best Director Oscar, Catherine Bigelow.
Jesse?
Lifeline?
Excalibur.
Excalibur, he says.
Do you agree with that? I do, yeah. All right, Excalibur Excalibur he says Do you agree with that?
I do yeah
Alright Excalibur
Again I'm taking your word for it
Yeah okay
He doesn't play the title character
That's a sword
I've got a certain set of swords
They could be yours
For four easy payments.
What else, Jeff?
Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith.
Right?
Yep.
That's right.
Yep.
Yeah, I just was worried I'd mess up the title.
That's why I didn't try for it
I would just wait
because also
you know
it's hard to remember
which ones
like
if he's in all
anyway
Jesse
especially those first three
because they all suck
if you only hear his voice
does it count
yeah
oh
Star Wars Episode 2
Attack of the Clones
there you go
that's what I was worried about I didn't know if you heard him or saw him in that one at all yeah Jeff Does it count? Yeah. Oh, Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones. There you go.
That's what I was worried about.
I didn't know if you heard him or saw him in that one at all.
Yeah.
Jeff.
Or a motherfucker.
What if you only see him, but you don't hear his voice?
Does that count?
Yes. Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi.
The re-release has him digitally asserted at the end with the young Anakin.
I refuse to accept that.
Why?
The re-release?
Yeah, yeah. There's the remastered version
that has a... Right, that was like for home video
or whatever, right? DVD?
It was in the theater.
I was the one who went.
I'm the sucker.
Do you have another one, Jesse?
Did I already say
Gangs of New York?
No.
Gangs of New York.
Back to you, Jeff.
Smarty pants.
What else was he
added into later?
Which one of those fucking super boring
Merchant Ivory movies was he in?
Is it the one with the staircase
or the one with the lake?
I don't know, man.
I'm still trying to think of that
Diane Keaton movie.
What happens in that one?
He shows his penis.
Okay.
Is it Howard's End? Is that the one he's in? That's not the one where he shows his penis. Okay. Is it Howard's End?
Is that the one he's in?
That's not the one where he shows his penis.
That's the one where he shows his butt.
Yeah, he shows his butt in Howard's End.
I win.
So you're just guessing Howard's End?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think it's wrong.
It probably is.
I'm totally fine with it being done. Yeah. Does. I think it's wrong. It probably is. I'm totally fine with it
being done. Yeah.
Does Jesse have another one?
Really just rub it in?
Normally
I wouldn't do that to Jeff even if I had one
but...
Come on man, I would totally rub it in
if I still had some left.
See if he was in Howard's end.
He's not in Howard's end.
But if he is... Oh's End. He's not in Howard's End. But if he is...
Oh, okay, good point.
How big of a part do you think he has?
Because I'm about 20 actors deep.
Was he just added
to the digital remaster?
Yeah, I don't see him.
And no one in the audience is backing that claim up at all.
No one wants a piece of that.
Was it Remains of the Day?
Yeah.
Well, I'm not going to look and see if it's another one.
You guessed that one, and it's wrong.
Jesse Pasternak is our winner!
You won one, buddy.
Now, Amy,
here's the really sad part, because we play this game
on the show all the time, and then when we all
run out of answers, the audience
tells us all the ones we missed, and it's embarrassing.
What did we miss?
The Gnardia!
Chronicles of Gnardia?
Is he the voice of the lion?
Yeah.
A-Team.. A-Team.
The A-Team.
A-Team.
That's right.
He's Hannibal.
What?
Unknown?
Ted 2?
Unknown.
Ted 2.
I thought he might be in a Ted.
The Other Man?
That's what that was called?
I don't know.
The Good Mother is what it was called.
Oh, yeah.
He's been set straight already.
The Good Mother.
Yeah, I kept thinking of Good Wife with Jennifer Aniston.
I couldn't get the right title.
All right, so congratulations to Bach.
You win all the prizes.
Just so you don't get nailed on Twitter,
the Jennifer Anderson is called the good girl and the good wife.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I always get that wrong, too.
Good wife is Julianna Margulies.
So do you want your name tag back there, Buck?
There you go.
All of that's got to be valuable to somebody.
Let's start down here with you, Jeff what do you got to uh to plug going out
here at the end uh august 8th 9th and 10th i'm at the north bar in chicago uh with emma arnold
doing our good cop bug cop shows 8 9 and 10 the 9th is at 10 30 because it's my birthday and I'm going to a Cubs game. And then the 12th, I'm at Flat 12 in Indianapolis.
And
the 24th
of August,
I'm in Columbus at the Arch City Comedy Festival.
Maybe it's not the 24th.
Whatever weekend is that weekend? The Arch City Comedy
Festival. And September
1st, 2nd, 3rd,
and 4th, I'm in and around Denver.
That's it. September 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th, I'm in and around Denver. Amy, besides here at the festival, Friday at 6 o'clock,
where else can people see this movie?
I don't know yet.
It's not scheduled to be released yet?
I think it is, but I don't know the release date yet.
All right.
Sister Cities.
Sister Cities.
And anything else you got coming out?
I did a film earlier this year called American Brawler.
And it's about Chuck the Brawler, based on Stallone,
based on the original Rocky.
Chuck Wepner.
Okay.
I play his second wife.
So that hopefully will come out early next year.
How many wives did he have?
Two.
Oh, okay.
I played his second wife.
You played his best wife.
His best wife.
That's cool.
The good wife.
The wife that made him laugh.
Does she have kids?
Is she a good mother?
What?
Nothing.
Jesse, what do
you got coming up?
Gotta go back to
school?
In a couple months.
Turn 21?
Yeah.
Do some Jaeger
bombs?
Well, I've also
got a short film
production.
It'll be my fourth.
If you want to see
my other work,
one of them is called Love at Last Bite. The other is called Math as a Second Language.
You can follow me on Twitter
at Jesse Pasternak. And I'm
also a write for the Indiana Daily Student if you
want to see what I think about pop culture.
I love it. Thank you.
One more time for
all of my guests, Jeff Tate,
Amy Smart, and Jesse Pasternak.
What a nice group.
Very pleasant people.
You can stay or go, it's cool.
And as always, my kids are shitheads,
but I really, really love them.
My kids.
And my cat,
what is all this my shit?
You know I have to read it, right?
My cat,
for pissing on my Sandys this morning,
is a shithead.
Thanks again to our pals
at Loot Crate, the monthly subscription box
service for geeks, gamers, and
pop culture nerds. From bad guys
doing good things for the wrong reason
to good guys with questionable tactics,
August is the perfect time
to explore the anti-hero.
Walk the hero slash villain line with this 100% exclusive collection of items from DC Comics, Archer, Dark Horse, and Kill Bill.
It includes two great collectibles, a wearable, and of course a monthly tee.
And don't forget the pin.
You only have until the 19th at 9pm Pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate.
And when the cutoff happens, that's it.
It's over. So go to lootcrate.com
slash Doug and enter the code Doug
to save three bucks on your new
subscription today.
Now it's time for Doug to watch
another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him
cocky. There's no room
in his heart for you cause