Doug Loves Movies - Andrew Daly, Matt Besser, and Rob Riggle Guest
Episode Date: May 9, 2010Doug welcomes UCB improv veterans Andrew Daly, Matt Besser, and Rob Riggle to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/priva...cy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby-sick
He sneaks with empty eyes and hot-pot kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
Is it just me or does this smell
Extremely lemon pledge out here tonight
Something's very lemon pledgey
I don't know what it is
Might be somebody who did some
Nice varnishing or something
Of the wood
Okay
Let's just read what's on the paper
Hey everybody
I'm Doug and I love movies
It's May 4th, 2010
And may the 4th be with you
Yeah
I don't know if it's official or unofficial
But I've been seeing Star Wars Day
Being tweeted
Tweeted all day today on
Treater
And this podcast is being recorded in front of a live audience Star Wars Day being tweeted all day today on Twitter.
And this podcast is being recorded in front of a live audience at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles before Comedy Death Ray,
which you can read about who's going to be on on Comedy Death Ray
at ComedyDeathRay.com,
or you can read about what happened at Comedy Death Ray
at ASpecialThing.com.
And I'd like to thank everyone who came
to the taping last week
at the Irvine Improv
we did a show down there
and I hope to do more of those in the future
and I'd also like to say thanks
to everybody at Good Nights in Raleigh
North Carolina
that was a
fun ass weekend is what I wrote down
today
I wrote that down today at about 4.22
That Raleigh was fun-ass
Old-timey movie actress Dorothy Provine
Passed away a few days ago
Not that anybody cares
But one of my favorite movies as a kid
Was a movie called The Great Race
And I had a huge crush on Dorothy Provine cares, but one of my favorite movies as a kid was a movie called The Great Race, and
I had a huge crush on
Dorothy Provine in her role as
saloon showgirl Lily O'Lea.
So, rest
in peace to her.
Hope you enjoy being dead.
That's kind of a horrible
way to bring out the guests for the show tonight.
Some lady nobody cares about died,
and I used to jerk off to her before jerking off was even an option.
That's how young I was when I was into her.
I didn't even know that you could be into someone
and then go somewhere and think about them and jerk it.
I'd just sit there and think about them.
Why would you bother to have a crush on someone if it's all... Okay. them and jerk it. I'd just sit there and think about them.
Why would you bother to have a crush on someone if it's
all... Okay.
My guest
tonight, if you have seen
any
improvisational shows
at the UCB theater in
Los Angeles or New York, or
comedy movies or comedy TV shows,
then you've seen these guys.
Please welcome Andrew Daly, Matt Besser, and Rob Riggle.
Everybody.
All three of those guys are here.
All right. Andy's not here.
Andy didn't make it, unfortunately.
But I didn't want to rewrite the intro
because it was so tight.
It was so tight and so perfect.
Rob Riggle just shut that mic down military style.
He's sitting in the chair at a weird angle.
Like, this chair is dead to everyone.
No one try to sit in this chair Like that Jewish ghost
That's Matt Besser's voice
Hello Matt
Hello everybody
And hello Rob Riggle
First timer on the show
Yes
I was going to bring you out with a couple of veterans
And hit you hard with the movie games
Because they already know the rules,
but Andrew Daly didn't show up.
I have some questions for Andrew Daly.
Could either of you?
Yes, sure.
I think we can answer.
The two of you could field those questions?
Yes.
That I plan to ask him.
He's been booked longer than you guys.
Rob's been on and off for weeks.
Maybe I might not make it.
I've got a lot of shit going on.
We've got reshoots on a
pilot that everyone hopes
will become a series.
You're welcome.
I speak for everyone, Matt.
The people up against him, they really don't want him.
Oh, the people in the other time slots are already
worried about some pilot?
Oh, the other pilots. Well, yeah, there are a lot of pilots.
So good luck to everyone with a pilot.
Who hates Rob Riggle right now. Well, yeah, there are a lot of pilots. So good luck to everyone with a pilot who hates Rob Riggle right now.
And, okay, Matt, I called, like, yesterday because I was worried Rob Riggle would fall out.
So I was like, can you do the show tomorrow night in case Rob Riggle falls out?
I've got backup plans, you guys.
It's always going to be good shows.
I've got three or four.
Backup plan, great movie.
The Bench.
I like that, Rob. You bring it great movie The Bench I like that Rob You put it right back to movies
I like that
If you could be the movie monitor
When I start to stray off of movies
If you could just jump in with a movie title
I think I get it, I think I get it now
Yeah, I think you're going to be great at this
But Andrew Daly, let me ask you
According to IMDB
And by the way IMDB
you were
you were the voice
of Jim Jones
in Dante's Peak
yeah yeah yeah
I was
yeah
why was
is Jim Jones
just a random name
or was there
at some point
in Dante's Peak
did they get
Jim Jones
the guy that
killed all those people in that
massacre, did they get him on the horn?
Like, why was there a
voice of Jim Jones in
Dante's Peak? Because it's hell, right?
Jim Jones was an awful man.
Yeah.
Is this a question to Andy? In the movie
Dante's Peak,
they called Jim Jones because he was awful?
He was playing the, doing the character Jim Jones, correct?
That's why I'm asking.
I thought you were being Andrew Daly.
I am.
Oh, okay.
I'll jump in as Andrew Daly.
I just love Jim Jones.
And he was misunderstood.
It was misunderstood.
That's perfect.
Dead on impression.
Let me try.
Do you want to take one then? He was
Jim Jones!
The cult master.
Andy Daly has to spend
hours in makeup getting out of his regular
witch face
to get into his on-screen characters.
Like, Andy, was Eastbound and Down,
was that a movie first?
What happened with that?
It was a song first.
All the best shows come from songs.
But then people tried to tell me
that they tried to make a movie out of that,
but then somebody decided,
no, this is a better TV series,
and then they shot a few more episodes.
Is there any truth to that?
Do you know anything about that?
All I know is Danny McBride is a pure joy to work with.
We had laughs and laughs and back rubs.
Just super fun on the set. Andy Daly. We had laughs and laughs and back rubs.
Just super fun on the set.
Andy Daly.
And what about Yogi Bear?
I sucked Danny McBride's balls in the honey wagon between every shot, says I, Andy Davey.
Wow, you're one of the best guests I've ever not had on the show.
I will never be late.
Let's break this up. Let's talk to Rob
for a second, because he showed up.
The last time
I went to the movies, I saw you in two
trailers out of five.
The Killers and the other guys.
Let's talk about them.
What are those movies?
I'd love to talk about them.
One is Ashton Kutcher and
Katherine Heigl.
Did you meet them?
I did.
Their scenes weren't on green screen?
No.
I had to do most of my acting with a tennis ball in front of a green screen.
Of course, then they will be filled in later.
No, I got to.
Ashton Kutcher has tennis-sized balls.
It was good.
I got to do a movie with Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl.
Yeah, you're like an insane maniac trying to kill them, right?
Well, I don't want to give it away.
Oh, I saw the trailer trailer and that's what I got
from it.
You don't know. You don't know.
There might be another twist to it.
I might be there to kill them. I might be there to save them.
We don't know.
Is it rated R?
I don't believe so. It's probably a PG-13.
Did you ever have to put squibs on your body?
That'd be a big
spoiler.
If he got shot,
so I won't make him answer that.
And also, you were in Super Jaime. How awesome is that,
that you're in Super Jaime?
Greatest movie ever.
Matt Besser only gets mentioned in it.
Huh?
He only gets name-checked in it.
You were physically in it.
I was physically in it
with a wonderful comedian named Rob Hubel,
who I'm sure you all know.
Yeah, it's a really funny scene where
they did this sketch. Right here on this very stage.
We filmed it on this very stage.
I remember
that!
Oh shit, Andy. Yeah, Andy Daly was there that
night.
We filmed it
and then we couldn't use the best parts
in the movie because there was
a Doors song playing under the whole thing to kind of underscore the inhumanity of the slaughter that occurs after you smoke weed.
So we only had the first part, but it was still pretty funny, and I was thrilled to have you guys in the movie.
And like I said, Matt Besser gets mentioned by – it might be me.
I might say – I think Zach Galifianakis goes,
who's got weed?
Don't you have weed?
And I go, no, I'm not smoking right now.
And he goes, well, somebody's got to have weed.
And I go, maybe Matt Besser has it.
At the bumper shoot in Seattle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now tell me about your role in year one as, according to IMDb, guy in crowd.
Everyone here has seen that, right?
Yes.
Okay.
I was guy in crowd.
One of the guys in the crowd.
Did you see it?
How many things?
I didn't see it.
You did not see it?
I did not see it.
Oh, man.
I saw it.
I wanted to.
I thought you had a very funny line when you burned Jack Black there.
You gave him a little bit of the business.
They're throwing a virgin into the fire.
He wants to know why, and I explain why.
You're very put out, which I love.
That's classic.
You, like, heckle why it's happening?
Kind of?
Do I heckle?
Or is he close?
Well, if you're a guy...
You get frustrated with Jack.
Yeah.
Because he's interrupting the whole fucking thing? I mean, you're a guy You get frustrated with Jack Yeah Because he's interrupting
The whole fucking thing
I mean you're Guy in Crowd
So you must represent the crowd
I did
Unless
Is your character named
Guy
G-U-Y
And you just happen to be
In a crowd
When we meet you
Oh yeah
It's Guy
In
In
Crowd
Stands for Ned
Guy
Ned
Oh Guy in Crowd
His last name is Crowd
Yes Guy in Crowd Oh His last name is Crowd.
Yes.
Guy and Crowd. Oh, in the scene,
I'm just this two people in a hut.
But your name is Guy and Crowd.
I know, it's confusing.
I get it now.
A character named Guy and Crowd
in a two-person scene in a hut.
Yeah, they really didn't probably
need to put the initial.
That's probably where
they confused everybody.
I hope I played it right.
Let's go back to Andy Daly.
Yes!
Hello!
Guy in crowd!
Have any of you guys,
Andy, anybody can answer this.
Andy or Matt or Rob.
Have any of you guys
been to the movies lately?
Seen any movies lately?
I drove by a billboard today
for Letters to Juliet.
Juliet.
Yes.
Sometimes you get a second chance at true love, Doug Benson.
That's what they say.
Doug Benson.
That's what's bringing you to that movie.
If I just wrote more letters to Juliette?
You'd get your second chance.
Are you guys going to see that?
That's all it takes is postal.
I think I saw that poster too.
Carried messages.
Or are you going to see the movie?
I don't see that happening.
I didn't see Dear John.
How could one actress, what's her name,
how could she be in Dear John and Letters to Juliet
in the same fucking year?
What's her name?
Amanda Seyfried.
Never heard of her.
Why is she known for?
Well, she's known for her great work on Veronica Mars TV series,
the first season.
Her murder was the whole mystery.
Oh, shit.
And then she went on to...
She starred in the international hit, Mama Mia.
She played Mama in that.
And it was about her and her baby Mia.
Yeah, and then she was in Dear John with that guy
that used to be a wrestler.
So she's only in gay movies.
She's in... Yes, she was in Dear John with that guy that used to be a wrestler. So she's only in gay movies. She's in, yes.
She was in Chloe just recently with Julianne Moore and Liam Neeson.
Julianne Moore suspects Liam Neeson is cheating on her,
so she hires Chloe, Amanda Seyfried, to seduce her husband.
That's not fair.
And then Chloe goes through with it, of course, because she's been hired to do.
And so she seduces her husband,
and then there's lesbian kisses and the whole deal.
I think I saw that part of the movie.
Oh, you were on Mr. Scan or something?
Yeah, I saw that part.
But the whole thing just looks too boring for me.
I don't mind that A. Tommy Goyen directed it. I don't mind that Tommy Goyen directed it.
I don't mind his movies that are about people dying
like the Sweet Hair After, but
when they're just about people kissing and being
topless, they're too slow.
Too boring. I saw
Hot Tub Time Machine recently.
Aren't you in that?
I thought that, no. You should have been.
What was
Craig Robinson doing in your part?
Hello.
You're the perfect black sarcastic guy.
There was a good line in it, though.
It wasn't a good line.
It was just, I thought it was a sweet line.
Oh.
I know.
The softer side of our...
The young kid, they were back in time,
they were back in the 80s,
and the young kid was trying to pick up on this girl.
And he goes, can I text you? Can I email you?
How do I get a hold of you?
You have a cell phone?
And the girl, obviously this is the 80s, she's like,
I don't know what you're talking about.
Hello?
And he goes, well, how am I supposed to get a hold of you?
And she goes, you find me, silly.
And I was like, oh, yeah, that's how we used to do it back in the day.
We'd have to go, actually get in your car
and go seek these people out.
If you wanted to get laid at all, you
had to put in the time and the
effort and the energy.
You had to walk around with a branch. What do they call those things?
Pussy finders. You had to walk around.
You had to wave a branch around
and wait till it... You know how you can find water
like a well? Yeah. It was one of those Y-shaped branches that can find pussy. You had to make a branch around and wait till it... You know how confined water like a well? Yeah.
It was one of those Y-shaped branches
that confined pussy.
You had to make the effort
or you made the money.
You had to use magic spells.
Andy.
Andy.
Get mad at him for contributing.
So mad at Andy.
Do you see any movies lately, Andy?
I saw
Chloe Clash of the
Titans.
Hoping the golden
owl from the first movie
would be returned.
Release the Kraken!
Did he?
Yeah, they don't say it. It's gay
no matter how you say it, but they should just go ahead and let her rip
and say it in the gayest way possible.
And he did the owl come back.
He's just powerful.
And then when it comes time,
he just lets it fly with a,
Release the Kraken!
Or like his voice cracks in a serious moment.
That happens to people sometimes.
You're like, release the cracker!
It could totally happen.
I saw, did you see Extraordinary Measures?
I saw that on the plane coming home
from wherever I just was.
Is that a documentary about fat people?
I don't know.
I'm not sure. Doug?
Good one, Nessa!
Thanks, man.
You're thinking of
reinforced scales.
No, Extraordinary Measures
is the story of some
disease that I watched the whole movie
and I have no idea if it's a real thing
or they made it up for the movie.
But at the very end they go,
oh, these characters survived the threat of Pompe disease.
So I was like, oh, then it must be a real thing.
Because that would be weird at the end of a fictional movie
to tout the characters surviving a fictional disease.
But is Pompe disease a real thing?
I guess maybe it is. I looked up unobtainium
after Avatar, though.
And that is a real thing. I'm not even
kidding. I'm not kidding. It's really in
Webster's? It's in
Wikipedia. Check it out.
James Cameron put that entry
in there. No, it's what scientists
call something that you...
It would make something happen if you had this one thing that doesn't exist.
So they call that unobtainium.
Oh, but that's not...
It's like a theoretical term.
Like time travel is possible.
Right.
If you can achieve the certain speed.
If you're just speaking in theories, you would say,
all we need for this is unobtainium.
All you need is some unobtainium.
All right. But that's not what unobtainium. All you need is some unobtainium.
All right.
But that's not what unobtainium is in Avatar. I think it's also hocus pocusium or stuff like that.
They have other synonyms.
Someone look this up now.
Unobtainium, though, is a great name for a fucking band.
We're fucking unobtainium.
Unobtainium Unobtainium Chippin' chippin' chippin'
Chippin' chippin' chippin'
Yo yo yo
Unobtainium
God I wish that didn't happen
That was amazing and horrible
I've already gotten a lot of hate mail
for my anti-avatar views
so I don't need to go off about it
but you guys didn't like it did you?
I did, I loved the experience
Rob Riggle didn't see it, too busy
I feel guilty enough
talking to the mic
I didn't see it. Too busy. What? I know. I feel guilty enough. Talking to the microphone, sir.
I didn't see it.
Just didn't have time.
That'd be funny, though.
You were seeing Hot Tub Machine.
That'd be funny if you leaned back
and had time for Hot Tub Machine,
but not the biggest movie of all time.
Sorry.
Just out in the audience weeping.
Oh, so true.
You had to find him
back in the 80s.
Cry a tear.
All right.
Well, I guess we should
play some games.
All right.
Right?
Someone in the audience.
I'm going to be fucking
terrible at this.
All right.
So bring on the games.
I love games.
Andy, please.
Andy, stop doing multiple characters.
Try to stick with one voice.
It's different sides of my personality.
I'm happy.
And sad.
And witchy and joyful
and shut up
okay so
since today is May 4th
May the 4th be with you
I am
Cuatro de Mayo
oh yeah today is Star Wars Day isn't it
yeah it's Star Wars Day
What did you do to celebrate?
We're about to do it
Oh, word
I'm celebrating by making Build-A-Title
The first title is going to be
Star Wars
Hang on
Which chapter?
A New Hope
Yeah, stupidly renamed A New Hope,
but still perfect for a start of a round of Build-A-Title.
Let's go to Matt first.
Can you add anything to Star Wars?
Star Wars of the Roses?
Can I fuck with the plural?
No, because you've also got to deal with A New Hope.
Wait a minute, what?
This is...
Yeah.
He's blowing your mind.
This is some serious shit.
This is Star Wars...
We're playing the title movie.
The title game, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So you need to add
to the title.
You know how Star Wars
is now called
Star Wars A New Hope?
Oh.
I was like,
what the fuck is he doing?
Episode four is called...
Episode four is A New Hope
I didn't know that
That's some bullshit, I didn't know that
Because if you remember The Crawl
At the beginning of that one
It was something about how there was a new hope
But nobody gave a shit about The Crawl
It was just neat watching words fly through space
And then, you know
Five movies later, George Lucas is having words
Fly through space and say stuff like And then there you know, five movies later, George Lucas is having words fly through space and say stuff like, and then there was a stamp tax.
And it's fucking unbelievably terrible.
But you got to let that go.
You've been carrying that around for a long time.
There was a time.
Oh, I sat through the people versus George Lucas at South by Southwest just cheering, cheering on every negative comment they made.
Except for the one guy that said that George Lucas raped my childhood.
That's a little much, because my childhood wasn't just Star Wars movies.
I had a couple other things.
He didn't rape My Pretty Pony.
He didn't rape G.I. Jane.
Okay, so Star Wars, A New Hope.
So you have to come up with one that ends in the word star or begins in the word hope.
Hope and glory?
Bam!
That's going to be hard.
Duck soup.
Duck soup.
Duck soup is boiling water.
It's easy.
All right.
I don't know what's happening You need one that ends in star
A title that ends in star
Or begins with glory
Glory?
God damn it
That is a loophole
We haven't explored
We haven't explored that loophole before
No no now it's my turn It's my turn now That is a loophole we haven't explored. We haven't explored that loophole before. Then I'll say Glory 2.
No, no, now it's my turn.
It's my turn now.
Glory, Glory.
Let me go.
Let me go first, though, Matt.
It's my turn.
So I'm going to say Dark Star, Wars, A New Hope, and Glory.
Now it's your turn.
Do you want to do Glory again?
Was there more than one movie called Glory?
Yeah.
Gloria.
I like it.
That's perfect.
Cassavetes.
Dark Star Wars
and New Hope
and Gloria.
Gloria,
originally starring
What's Her Name
and then remade
with Sharon Stone.
The first one was great.ade with The first one was great
Yeah
The first one was Cassavetes
So what are my choices here?
You have to end something in dark
Or begin something in Rhea
Or Gloria
Maybe there's a title that begins with Gloria
Something, Gloria
Hallelujah In Excelsia? No Gloria Maybe there's a title that begins with Gloria something. Gloria. Hallelujah.
In Excelsia?
No.
Gloria.
What's the other side?
Dark?
That's the end in dark?
Yeah.
You know a movie that ends in dark?
I know one.
I do too.
Night So Dark?
Let's look it up.
No.
Sounds like a good idea.
Night So Dark.
Oh shit, we've been skipping Andy's turn
every time.
Dude, you're such a weirdo.
Glory.
I can't believe we've been skipping you.
Oh, he goes glory too?
Okay.
Matt, do you have anything that ends in dark?
I know there must be one called After Dark.
There's also that vampire one, right?
Made a face after After Dark.
There's got to be a movie called After Dark, right?
Let's check with Leonard Maltz.
See what he has to say. See if there's a movie called After Dark. Check with Not to be a movie called After Dark, right? Let's check with Leonard Maltz. See what he has to say.
See if there's a movie called After Dark.
Check out Night So Dark, too, while you're at it.
Night So Dark.
Yeah, it's a sequel to Me So Horny.
So dark.
I think I should have just read that way.
Night So Dark.
What was yours, Matt?
After Dark.
After Dark.
That's got to be a movie, but I don't know if Leonard will list it.
Because that's like a million softcore porn movies.
Softcore porn.
After Dark, My Sweet.
What was the movie?
Playboy After Dark.
After Dark, My Sweet was directed by James Foley and starred Jason Patrick and Rachel Ward.
I kind of like that movie.
I like that movie a lot, actually.
That was fun.
There's got to be like an Alone in the Dark, right?
Christian Slater.
Christian Slater was in a movie called Alone in the Dark?
No, sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that sounds reliable.
Yeah, sure.
Christian Slater.
Now Andy's in the audience?
This is getting out of control.
All right.
That was fun.
That was my dumb fault.
Did we break down?
That was my dumb fault for starting it off with Star Wars A New Hope.
I ruined that.
I thought we were going.
There must be an after dark.
Go with after.
There's no after dark.
There's after dark, my sweet. Wait until dark. And a be an after dark. Go with after. There's no after dark. There's after dark, my sweet.
Wait until dark.
And a shot in the dark.
Near dark.
Oh, dance in the dark's a good one.
Let's go with that.
All right, dance in the dark.
We're going to go with that.
Okay, now you need a movie that ends in dance or begins with Gloria.
Can it be dancing?
No.
No. No No I'm saying
What does it have to
It has to end in the word dance
It has to be the last word
Flash dance
Flash dance
Now the audience
Has taken over you guys
Oh shit
We've lost control
The audience is just gonna
Fuck it
We don't give a shit
That Andy
And Matt
And Rob
And Doug
Are playing this game
We know the We know the fucking answers.
They might as well yell
Flashdance, you idiot.
Fucking throats.
Alright,
smarty pants audience.
What's a movie that
ends in the word Flash?
Well, he could just say Flash again.
Why? Oh, Jumpin' Jack Flash.
They did know it. I was just about to say Jumpin' did know it I was just about to say
jumping jack for us about to say it and then somebody the other dark at it
jump in oh shit my white man can't jump in Jack jump in flash dance in the dark Jack. Jump in. Flash dance.
In the dark.
Star Wars and New Hope and Gloria.
Wow.
All right.
Shut up!
See, this is... I try playing this game on Twitter
and people come at me with names too fast
and I can't keep up with it.
And then they write to me later, why aren't you playing that game anymore?
Because it's fucking
hard. So what ends in the word white?
White? Yeah.
We need one that ends in white.
I missed the white.
White man can't jump. Oh, we accepted that.
Oh yeah, we did.
White man can't jump in Jack Flash.
The great white
Black and white boom
What's his name Tolkien or whatever his name is
Brooke Shields was in it
Black and white boom
It was about white girls having sex with black dudes
I'm serious watch it
Zebra head
It's fucking good
There was a zebra head reference on last week's show.
That is so weird.
All right.
Black and White.
They want something.
Men Can't Jumping Jack Flash Dance.
In the Dark.
Star Wars.
A New Hope and Gloria.
Oh, there's got to be a million ones.
There's got to be one that ends in black, right?
Men in Black.
Men in Black.
Of course.
What ends in men?
Boys to Men. Boys to Men.
Boys to Men wasn't a movie.
Yeah, they got a video.
They got a movie
about themselves.
A few good men.
All right,
because I want to finish this.
So here's the title.
A Few Good Men in Black and White.
Men Can't Jumping Jack Flash.
Dance in the Dark Star Wars.
A New Hope and Gloria.
That's still the title, you guys.
Let's move on.
Arduous is a nice word for what that was.
But it's...
I like to...
Matt loves that game.
What's the record on that?
Oh, man.
There was one title
that took seven minutes to say.
Holy shit.
I haven't figured out the numbers.
The numbers for the longest,
but there's too many titles
that screw it all up.
Do you think there's a movie
with Gloria something?
Gloria? That was what ended the title right all right
let's check with Leonard Maltin no one cares about you but let's take the time
to do it something that starts in glory oh yeah Gloria Gloria Unobtainium.
If only that word existed.
Unobtainium.
Oh, that'd be great.
Let's go back and change that scene in The Warriors where he's banging the glasses together
and just have him go,
Unobtainium.
Come on, Gloria Unobtainium.
All right.
All right, Unobtainium.
There was a movie called Gloria, John Cassavetes, Jenna Rollins,
and a movie called Gloria, Sidney Lumet, another great filmmaker.
I don't know why he remade it with Sharon Stone.
But both versions get two stars from Leonard Maltz.
What?
Like he doesn't give the first one a break for being the first one.
This movie was exactly the same when they remade it.
No change in the value of it whatsoever.
All right.
Thank you, Len.
And now let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
We need to pick some people for you guys to play for in the audience.
Usually people that sit right here are the ones we go to.
And they'll get prizes?
Oh, shit.
They might win some fabulous prizes, yeah.
I mean, fabulous is stretching it a little bit.
It's mostly just crap I don't want anymore.
But let's talk to this young lady.
What's your name?
Lauren.
You can't really reach the microphone.
I'll just repeat it.
Lauren, who would you like to have play for you?
Matt Besser, Andy Daly, or
Rob Riggle? I'll take Matt Besser, Andy Daly, or or Rob Riggle.
I'll take Matt.
Alright, Matt. Thank you.
Lauren, Matt.
Big mistake. Remember her name.
I hate you for not
picking me!
You just fucked up, girlfriend!
Shut up. Shut up, Andes.
At least with Andy
you have two people guessing.
What's your name?
Okay, Brad is sitting here.
And Brad, would you like Andes or Rob to play for you?
Rob, okay.
Okay, Rob, you're playing.
Fuck you!
And what's your name?
It's my name.
Kim, okay. Kim, the Andes are going to play for you. Kim, the Andes. And what's your name? Kim.
Kim, okay.
Kim, the Andes are going to play for you.
Kim.
So, Andes, you're playing for Kim.
And I already forgot the other names of the other contestants.
Might be Mark and Lauren.
Okay.
What?
It's not Mark?
Brad.
Shit.
I said maybe.
I said maybe. Close. I said maybe.
Close.
Trebek doesn't do that enough.
The answer might be, you know, like, why does he know everything?
Okay.
Let's start with Rob.
You get to pick a year.
This gives you a little leg up.
You get to pick a year that this movie is from that I'll give you the clues for.
Do you want 1971,
78, or 2002?
Oh, let me tell you what the category
is first. This is, since
it is May the 4th Be With You,
it is all
Star Wars.
People that starred in the original Star Wars
trilogy, other movies that they've
been in. That's the category.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
And you have 71.
So this one was before.
This person was in something before they were in Star Wars.
Or 78 or 2002.
I better go with 78.
All right.
You better.
Some clues.
Leonard Maltin didn't care for it very much, just gave it two stars.
And he said, it's a bland
comedy drama.
Comedy drama.
Yeah. And there are
six names
and this movie features
a Star Wars alumni.
How many names do you think you can get it in,
Rob Riggle?
Rob Riggle.
Out of six.
I don't understand what that means.
I'm going to name six actors from the bottom of the list up.
So you probably need close to six to get the right answer.
Yes, I'm going to say I need six.
All right.
That's a good opening bid.
It's a good safe opening bid.
Because it forces Matt.
It has to be lower.
I am confidently going to say I will never get this.
That's giving away a lot to...
Oh, we skipped Andy.
I will get it in one.
Okay, Matt.
So now you have to get it in zero.
Or tell Andy to name that movie.
Andy, name that movie.
All right, Andy Daly's.
Andy Daly's.
You get one name.
That name is William Bryant.
William Bryant was in this movie
that Leonard Maltin didn't care for.
He called it a bland comedy drama.
Other side of my personality, do you know who that is?
Didn't he have
the gold standard?
I'm thinking
and I am drawing a blank.
When I think about 78,
I just think about
family vacations.
I bet Harrison Ford
is the main actor.
I'm somewhere else right now.
I bet it's a Harrison Ford movie.
Don't you?
Okay, Andes, you lose.
And the point goes to Matt.
The other names are, just for fun,
name it if you know it.
I didn't get to read.
The other names are Richard McKenzie,
Kim Milford.
Yeah, the Kim Milford.
Eugene Roche, in some circles.
Annie Potts was the second lead
in this movie. Ghostbusters!
No.
She was the second build in Ghostbusters.
And also someone
from Star Wars still needs to be in it.
The lead actor is Mark Hamill.
Really?
Corvette Summer. People in the audience are yelling it out.
Which is not fair.
Do you know what that is?
Oh, I love that movie.
I was going to say Corvette Summer. Shut up.
Corvette Summer. Oh my god.
I feel like such an ass I didn't know that.
Nobody knows that except for that guy.
Corvette Summer.
When somebody in the audience knows it, it makes it true.
Wow.
Alright, let's start with Andy this time
since he got burned on that one.
Which one?
Which one?
Either one of the Andys
can pick the year.
Yay.
Yay.
Happy Andy.
2002.
Oh, okay.
I was going to give you three choices,
but you can just jump right to it.
All right, Andy.
Oh, it's not the same movie?
Okay, Andy.
This is a movie that stars
someone that features
someone that was in Star Wars. I don't want to say
their lead, but
they might be.
From Star Wars.
Two and a half stars from Len. I think that's a reasonable
rating.
What's his scale? Four?
Yeah, it's four.
Scale of one to four, Andy.
So two and a half is pretty good. Four. Yeah, it's four. Scale of one to four, Andy. Is it four? Four.
So two and a half's pretty good.
All right, so here's the clue. My favorite TV show.
He says, Leonard says,
much sturm and drang in this very long movie,
but not enough meaning.
Sturm and drang?
Yeah, those are not actors in the movie.
There's other people in the movie.
No, I know.
There's a dance team named Sturm and Drang.
What year is this?
Oh, did I say the year?
2002.
It is.
Okay, so there's one, two, three, four, five, seven names.
And we start the bidding with one of the Andes.
Six! He says he can get in
six.
I challenge you
to six. You can't challenge
yourself, Andy.
So then we
go to Matt. Matt, how many names
can you get it in? I challenge
these Andes to six.
I think Matt has figured out the way to win this thing.
It's to just always challenge Andy.
It doesn't seem fair or right.
But Andy, you could get it right to thwart Matt in his plan.
I will, Dan.
All right, here we go.
I will.
My name's Andy Daly.
Andy Daly.
Hey!
Hey!
Okay, six names.
Tim Woodward was in this movie.
Oh, Tim.
Donald Sumpler.
He's the worst name.
Oh, D.
John Shrapnel?
No way.
That's a made-up name!
This is a porno. No one's last name a made up name. This is a porno.
No one's last name is Shrapnel.
This is a porno.
What, their ancestors were professional Shrapnel?
That is a great porno name though, John Shrapnel.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can take it.
Coming at ya.
Hot!
Collateral damage.
That's not the movie title, by the way.
Alright, we got
Tim Woodward, Donald Sumpler,
John Travnell. Who cares about them?
Now we're getting into the guns.
Six names, right?
Okay.
Joss Ackland.
What the fuck?
That guy's a guy people know. No, J-O-S-S. Joss Ackland What the fuck That guy's a guy people know
No J-O-S-S
Joss Ackland
It's a dude
He's the one that goes
Diplomatic immunity
In one of the lethal weapons
I think
I'm pretty sure that's that guy
Yes
Then Peter Sarsgaard
We all know Peter Sarsgaard
He's got too many A's in his name
What line does he say that everybody knows?
He says in
My Education,
Hey, little girl, let's fuck.
Oh, yeah.
That was a different Sarsgaard. That was him, right?
Yes. He's married to Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Okay. And then finally,
your sixth name, out of seven names,
the seventh name is the star
of Star Wars, one of the stars.
And the sixth name,
this goes to the Andy Daly's,
is Liam Neeson.
A Liam Neeson movie
from 2002.
Oh.
Shitstick.
I saw that.
Oh. Liam, what did you do in 2002? I saw that Oh
Liam
What did you do in 2002?
I know he was being rough and tough
He has a lot of sensitive roles
Like that guy that invented sex
Kinsey
That wasn't rough and tumble
Was that in 2002?
Kinsey? That wasn't rough and tumble. Was that in 2002? Kinsey, you're a pot!
All right, well, it looks like Matt gets the point again
and wins the game.
Yay, Lauren!
That's a pretty clever way to win the game.
Does anybody know the answer to that one?
That is a tough one, right?
It's not Kinsey, because Liam Neeson was the lead of Kinsey.
Corvette Summer.
No, the last name is Harrison Ford.
And the movie's called K-19, The Widowmaker.
Oh, my God.
Directed by the first woman to win an Academy Award, not for this movie, Catherine Bigelow.
It's called K-19?
The Widowmaker.
I do remember it. Yeah, I used to have fun with the fact that K-19,
The Widowmaker, sounded like it was an extremely weird,
vicious sequel to the movie K-9.
Like it was a young K-9 that was new to the force
and would kill people.
Hence the name Widowmaker.
But, yeah, that was a patriotic Russian naval officer
Ford
Takes on a nuclear submarine on its mission voyage
Having just usurped command
From a well-liked captain
Nissen
Who stays on as executive officer
So they argue a lot
Who could have possibly gotten that?
They both have sort of Russian accents
No universe could we have gotten that title
I don't trust Russians in movies Unless they have English accents I think they should all be played by English people Russian accents. No universe could we have gotten that title.
I don't trust Russians in movies unless they have English accents.
I think they should all be played by English people.
And Germans.
Do you guys have any plugs before we go?
Oh, who won the prizes?
Who was playing Matt Pym for?
Oh, Lauren.
Holy crap, I can't believe.
We almost ignored your wonderful bounty of prizes.
I don't think I've been bid.
You win a copy of the movie Bruno.
Nice.
Starring Sacha Baron Cohen.
It's a comedy classic.
And you win a T-shirt, one of my two-trunk-to-tweet T-shirts.
And you win, I got this at a, I went to a gifting suite.
Have you ever been to a gifting suite?
Went to one of those for... TV Land had one.
They were giving out stuff.
And I got an insanely soft baby blanket.
Like, it is the softest fucking little blanket.
I should give them a plug.
They're not a sponsor, but I should still mention
it's from a company called Little Giraffe.
Feel that for a second, Rob Riggle.
Now let Andy Daly feel it.
Oh, sweet Jesus!
I love to eat babies, my little pretties.
This is like an angel fart.
There you go. Congratulations, Lauren.
Is that your name?
Okay.
Congratulations, Lauren. Is that your name? Yes. Okay. Congratulations, Lauren.
Yeah.
That baby blanket is insanely soft.
What do you guys want to plug?
Matt, do you have anything to plug?
I'm in Toronto this weekend.
You have Toronto listeners.
Yeah, but this will probably come out sometime this weekend,
so what's a little further down the road?
Yeah, but this will probably come out sometime this weekend,
so what's a little further down the road?
Well, Wild Girls Gone is the movie that the UCB made and improvised,
and we just released it on DVD yesterday, I think.
Oh, excellent. So you can get that online.
There you go.
Wild Girls Gone.
Gone Girls Wild?
Wild Girls Gone.
Wild Girls Gone.
There's a play on that other one.
Right?
So there's no wild Girls in it at all?
There's some titty.
That's what you're asking.
That is what I'm asking.
That's what I count on in any UCB production is some titty, even if it's a dude.
And Andy Daly, what have you got coming up?
I'm going to be juggling dildos down on the corner of Bronson and Franklin.
Just right outside.
One of them will be on fire.
Don't miss it.
Don't miss that one dildo.
Don't be distracted by the two not on fire dildos.
I'm also in The Witches of Eastwick,
the musical opening on Broadway.
My little piggies.
Okay.
And Rob Riggle, any plugs from Rob Riggle?
Yeah.
Killers is coming out June 4th,
and the other guys will be coming out in August.
Oh, we didn't really talk about them before.
Other guys is Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.
Yes, Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell.
Did you get to be around him when he didn't have a shirt on?
I did.
Either of them?
I did.
They both take their shirts off a lot to different effect.
Yes.
Very much so.
Very much so.
Awesome.
Yeah, so go to the movies this summer and see Rob Riggle, you guys.
I think they both look good from the trailers.
Yeah, I think they'll be a lot of fun.
Trailers lie.
And then, not always though.
Those look great.
Let me take a second to be
really sincere about this.
Those movies look awesome.
Go opening day
like I'm going to go and then
keep your mouth shut.
That's how you know a movie doesn't have a friend of mine in it,
is when I'm railing on it immediately on the day it opens.
But if a friend of mine's in it, I'll give him that first weekend push,
where I won't talk shit about it until Monday.
Speaking of Mondays, the next Monday Benson interruption at Largo in Los Angeles is on May 10th.
Always all ages over there at Largo's.
Largo's.
Largo.
I'm going to be at the Jukebox Comedy Club in Peoria, Illinois, May 13-15 of 2010.
I'm going to be at Zaney's in Chicago at 420 on Sunday, May 16th.
And Rooster Teeth Feathers, it's a real place, you guys, in Sunnyvale, California, May 22-23.
And if you live in Los Angeles, mark your calendar for May 24th.
I have an announcement coming out soon about,
if you don't already know already,
I'm doing something in L.A. on May 24th.
Rob Riggle?
Yeah, I'm going to jump in.
Also, you can go to robrigle.com
and check out a bunch of shit there.
It's pretty cool.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
MattBesser.com, check out a bunch of shit there. It's pretty cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's good.
MattBesser.com too.
AndyDaly.com I forgot to ask the losing contestants
who they want to call a shithead,
so let me do that.
You guys just talk amongst yourselves over there.
Oh, I like it.
All right.
You guys didn't talk at all when I said talk amongst yourselves.
The people that don't win prizes,
they get to name,
I'll say anybody they want
as a shithead at the end of the show.
Oh, all three?
And now we're at the end of the show,
just the two people.
So I have to say,
and it's going to be amazing if I remember,
James Cameron is a shithead. Oh, James Cameron is a shithead.
Oh.
And Beyonce is a shithead.
Beyonce.
Wow.
Now it's time for one to one with another.
Tom Key hides a bolted view and crowd with spades in his body.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.