Doug Loves Movies - Andy Juett, Jason Sklar and Randy Sklar guest
Episode Date: October 27, 2019Live from Comedy Works in Denver, Doug welcomes Andy Juett, Jason Sklar and Randy Sklar to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month ...of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Hayes, candy wrapper screaming baby,
sticky seeds within the eyes of hot pork,
curdled in his teeth.
They're still not warm, that he won't see,
cause Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from Comedy Works in downtown Denver.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. works in downtown Denver!
Oh boy,
oh boy, oh boy.
I didn't want to screw you up on that part, but this
is Doug Loves Scary
Movies.
Doug Loves
Scary Movies!
It is possible to sing that
if that was singing.
This is Douglas
scary movies. Yeah, you gotta really
you gotta speed it up.
Like the lyrics in a Blink-182
song.
They always put too many syllables in some of their sentences.
What are you dressed up as, sir?
Coach Ferratu.
Coach Ferratu.
Just stand up and show everybody, since you're in a good position there.
Look at that.
He's a vampire by night and a coach in the daytime.
How's your team doing, coach?
They suck, you're supposed to say.
What?
They're O and positive What? O and positive They're O and positive?
Make your O positive face
O positive
It's Saturday, October 26th
At 4.20, five days from Halloween.
So what else have we got for scary name tags?
Do we have any scary ones?
Coach Ferratu is hard to top.
Oh, there's a lady.
You dressed up as Midsomer?
Very nice.
And you have
a picture of me with flowers in my hair.
Fortunately, I'm not inside a bear, though.
And
what's your name?
It's Midsomilar.
Your last name's Milar, so you went
Midsomilar. Good job.
Is anybody else
a costume and a name tag?
I'm excited that there was two of them.
What's your costume? Stand up.
Ace Ventura Eva.
Ace Ventura Eva.
Because you're Eva,
and you wrote Ace Ventura
on a little football, and you got the crazy
ace skirt and the crazy ace
hair, and then
your own shirt that you probably normally wear
oh my god look at spider-man over there everybody
you don't usually see him in basements it's so hard for him to swing in
no windows what's your name dude ryan Ryan? And what's your Spider-Man pun?
Peter.
Into the state of Denver.
Into the state of Denver, okay.
You went old school with it.
I like it.
That's pretty cool.
And what's the costume between Ace Venturi and Coach Rotten?
It's Zoe from Firefly.
Zoe from Firefly, everybody.
They made that one movie, right?
Serenity?
So it counts as Douglas movies.
Have I seen that bowling pin before?
I thought so, yeah.
You're just always like,
Douglas movies is coming to town.
Time to drag out that bowling pin.
And Rasta Jeff is here with
Nightmare on Jeff Street.
Yeah. I like it.
Mighty Young,
Mighty George Young. Hallowaney?
Wayne?
Ann. Oh.
Halloway-ann.
Halloway-ann.
Oh, we got a Texas Chainsaw Massacre Very good
I saw the Zombieland
Jesse Land on the internet
Yeah
Alright lots of great name tags
Let's bring the lights back down
How I like them
Yeah further
I want to not be able to read my notes Doug plugs the scary shows keep coming
Halloween at the punchline in Sacramento and one week from today next Saturday November 2nd at Cobbs
in San Francisco and don't forget about the annual 12 Guests of Christmas shows.
Those are coming up on both coasts.
New York City, December 1st at the Gramercy Theater
and Los Angeles, December 12th at Largo.
Largo-LA.com for tickets to that one.
And that'd be kind of fun to do.
There's so many great comedians in Denver.
Maybe we'll try,
something to look forward to
next year maybe,
is try to do a 12 Guests of Christmas
in Denver.
And
also we're
sniffing around about doing another.
One time we did Getting Doug with High
over at the Oriental Theater,
and hopefully we can find another place
to do that again.
We'll see.
Prize bag.
I brought some stuff.
I traveled with some items,
starting with a beautiful,
designed by Box Brown out of Philadelphia,
Doug Love's Scary Movies
poster.
Very limited edition.
It's only a three-show
tour, and
I will have those available for
sale after the show.
There's two steps to the
post-show. There's this
merch table I'll be at and then the alley
i'll be at after that so if you want pictures or to smoke with me just wait for the alley part
we'll get the merch part over with as quickly as possible that's what i'm saying don't buy
anything we'll get it over with um i've also got from my friends at Magical Butter
This is a tray you can use to make your own cubes of weed butter
Yeah, weed and butter not included
A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt
A Doug Benson pin from rockandpins.com
Which is also going to be available
at the merch table afterwards,
and a Doug Loves Movies sticker.
All that stuff, plus the stuff brought by my three guests.
Are you guys ready to get them out here?
Well, I'm not.
First, I'd like to tell you a scary story.
No, let's do it.
Let's get him out here.
Please give it up for Andy Jewett,
Jason Sklar, and Randy Sklar!
Thank you! Hey, guys.
Hello.
Hey, guys.
Welcome.
Thank you for being here.
Let's meet these fellas individually,
starting with the newest member of the...
Sklar Brothers.
That's right. I'll take that.
I was seriously going to ask you guys.
I really did want to ask you
because we've never talked about this.
Were you
born in alphabetical order?
That was the plan.
We were actually born in alphabetical order.
Well, so we think.
Because when we were six weeks
old our mom took us
for our first checkup
and then she the only
way she could tell us apart was the color of our diaper
pins the nurse changed our diapers
let me just say because she didn't give a shit about
yeah she was drunk
didn't care about what we looked like or who we were
she was trashed
so she could tell us that Didn't care about what we looked like or who we were. She was trashed.
So she could tell us that.
And then the nurse weighed us and handed us back to our mom and the diaper pins in a bag and said, I put Pampers on for your kids.
Congratulations.
And my mom was like, what the fuck could you do?
And she brought us home and she sat us up on the couch
and cried for like an hour.
And then drank some more.
Drank some more.
And then she was like, I don't know what to do.
I'm so, I'm embarrassed as hell.
And so her plan was to put us in what she thought was our cribs and wait for our dad to come home.
And he would either, in her mind, look at us and be like why is randy
adjacent's crib or he would just come home and be like what's going on hey guys so she put a lot
on our dad right there without telling him that he needed to decide and so and so she uh and and
my our dad walked home and saw us and waved and then went on their day.
But we never, I guess, looked back to check and see.
Because once, you know, she didn't tell him once she thought she was in the clear.
So I might be Randy is what I'm trying to say.
And I might be Jason.
And that's who I'm going as Halloween.
If on Halloween I'm going as Randy.
Do you guys want to see my Halloween costume?
I'm going as Jason.
Oh, very nice.
I'm Jason.
Ew.
Ew.
Some might think that was a mean impression,
but impressions are the sincerest form of flattery.
They are.
And he nailed it, so...
All right, well,
I wasn't going to talk to you guys first,
but we did.
All right, sorry.
We did anyway,
because you guys are veterans on this program,
but it's only our other guests'
first time on this show.
Let's make him feel welcome, everybody.
Andy Jewett. Hi, everybody. Andy Jewett.
Hi, everybody. How we doing? You feeling good? Excited about the Nuggets?
Get into it. Get off the Bronco bandwagon. We know you love country. We know you love country music
and Highlands Ranch and all that stuff. Get on the Nugget train.
Can we...
Torrey Craig is blocking shots from
30 feet away.
When the Nuggets do something wrong, can we get the phrase
Nugget, please?
Nuggets lost
by 35 tonight. Nugget, please!
I don't know if they're that
forward with their positioning.
You know what I'm saying? I feel like they're just not there yet.
Yeah, that will never happen.
Andy Jewett, Denver comedy phenom, producer of Super Troopers 2.
Yeah.
And clearly a sports fan.
I like the Nuggets.
I like all the sports,
but I'm not trying to get angry with Bronco people.
They just need to calm down a little bit.
We're going to be like 2-12, 2-14, but...
So instead of a Bronco,
you want to be more of a still animal?
Enjoy the avalanche.
Bronco, that implies energy and bucking
let's all snort
and pot the dirt
like we're ready to eat
like the big bronco
on top of
Invesco
weed
empower retirement
services field
okay
we're all gonna be okay
nothing matters
enjoy the Denver Broncos
enjoy the Denver Nuggets
Andy you do know
this is a movie podcast
you're really going strong with this sports stuff you're probably Broncos, enjoy the Denver Nuggets. Andy, you do know this is a movie podcast.
You're really going strong with this sports stuff.
You're probably scaring my listeners.
You're right.
Which is appropriate, as it turns out.
This is supposed to be a scary episode.
It's like going to a gun convention and just talking about people transitioning.
Look, they need to identify.
Yeah, put the AR-15 down.
They need to identify with who they are.
She is a they now.
Yes, this is an AR-15.
Look, I'm a big fat Joe Flacco, okay?
Take a look.
Ready?
I could go three and 12.
That's right.
Three and 13.
I mean, if we're going to go deep into the Broncos talk,
John Elway, this is what I'll say about John Elway.
This is why we think the Broncos are going to come back,
because John Elway is amazing.
Because first of all, we've never seen John Elway
and Gary Busey in the same room.
That is the same guy.
If you found a people post body...
That would be scary as well.
If he can pull that off.
I don't know what's going on over there.
What are you doing?
Oh, shit.
Who is that?
Gary Busey would be calling hockey plays.
You know what I mean?
That's what he's doing.
I wonder if John Elway has a son who looks like Jake Busey would be calling hockey plays. You know what I mean? That's what he's doing. I wonder if John Elway has a son
who looks like Jake Busey.
That would...
You know?
We can hope.
Just like wig or no wig from contact.
Just losing his mind.
Similar tea structure, though.
If Bosch found them in the woods,
it would be difficult if no one...
If you had no other information
about the other person.
I want you to go
so much deeper.
I want you to go
into like Broncos possession receivers
from the 1980s.
I want you to talk the three
amigos. Oh, dude.
I think the really priceless piece
of all time Bronco memorabilia is
the
I'm not going to stop egging you on. I think the really priceless piece of all time Bronco memorabilia is the...
I'm not going to stop egging you on,
so just keep going.
Let's get into the orange crush.
Let's talk movies.
Let's talk about Lyle Alzado's steroid use.
May he rest in peace.
There needs to be a Lyle Alzado steroid movie.
There you go. Movie.
I heard the word movie.
And Doug is back.
That's where I jump in.
To introduce the rest of our guests.
Because we're meeting them
individually. It's Jason Sklar
everybody!
Thank you.
Do you like scary movies, Jason?
I do.
Can I say that I saw, and I'm not going to say the, but I saw Joker,
and that was scary to me.
I don't know that that was meant to be scary, but that was terrifying.
Well, here's the two things I pulled away from Joker,
alright? Number one, comedy is
hard. Okay?
And number two, I'm gonna be nice to
every weird open-miker who scares the
shit out of me for the rest of my life.
Hey man, keep trying. You're good.
I love what you're doing.
And also also I thought
some of his jokes
in the movie were like,
I'm not an audience blamer,
but I thought
he should have gotten more laughs
when he did his set.
Should have gotten more laughs.
I mean, he definitely killed
on that TV show.
He did.
And that's Randy Sklar!
Randy Sklar!
That's Randy Sklar!
Woo!
I still can't believe they mixed you up at birth.
I know, right?
Great.
There's a way to find out, by the way,
if we are who we are,
and we are sitting right now with that possibility.
There's a way to, like, look at your footprint from when you were born and compare it to now.
And we can find out.
I think we're going to do it.
We're going to try and do it.
We're going to see if we can do it.
Well, when there was one set of footprints,
it was when Jason was carrying it.
So if you find out your names are wrong,
then you swap?
What do we do?
We have to swap families.
That's why we're holding it off, because I like my house.
I have a decent relationship with my kids.
I'd like to keep it.
It's going to be a rough day.
Yeah.
So it's going to be a transition.
All right, let's talk prize bag.
What did the Sklars bring
for the prize bag?
We brought one of our latest pieces of
merch. It is called
our Punch Waterfall shirts
because we believe
that we need to stop the violence
in our world. We do not
hit your pets, do not hit your kids,
do not hit your spouse. Unless you want a
job at Ohio State University. Another sports
joke. Okay. Anyway.
So we're saying, if you
want to punch something
in this world, we say go out into nature
and go punch a waterfall. Alright?
It feels good. You're not going to hurt your hand. It's not
like a squirrel is going to pop out, yell
world star, and post the video online. You're fine.
You're good.
And we know that the world is going to test you.
Like, assholes will make you want to punch them.
All right?
You're going to be standing online at the movies, and the guy in front of you is going
to be loudly explaining to his date how Bitcoin works.
Okay.
All right.
You're going to want to take out a box cutter and slice his Achilles tendon.
Don't do that.
Do it.
Don't do it. Go punch a waterfall. That's what Achilles tendon. Don't do that. Do it. Don't do it.
Go punch a waterfall.
That's what that shirt means.
And we signed it.
Non-violence.
And we signed it.
It feels good.
It's a beautifully made shirt.
Yeah.
It's a good color.
Good weight.
Yeah.
I mean, my stupid Douglas movie shirt is like, it's a white t-shirt Which I would never buy that
I'm going to ruin a white t-shirt
The first time I eat linguine
So
Right?
That's a terrible stain to have on a white shirt
It's even worse than red
But
I want to know
Who is the hand model For the hand that's punching in red. But I want to know who
is the hand model for the
hand that's punching the
waterfall? Is that the late Robin Williams?
No.
It's just a very hairy hand.
Well, it's like a mummy hand.
It's like, I don't know if anybody's any
Run the Jewels fans, but it looks like
the Run the Jewels hand
and we like to just affectionately call it Run the Jules.
Run the Jules.
Alright.
Sorry I brought it up.
And what
do you have for us, Andy Jewett?
I tried to go a little
aggressive.
Let's see here. We got
DVD, Blu-ray, Digital Super
Troopers 2.
Nice. We got about $30 in hand warmers
what?
give me that
it's gonna be cold as shit
oh my god
somebody's gonna need that
wow
somebody's gonna need that
hey
don't overlook it
you could lose a digit
okay
$30
sure you can type now
you're gonna
it's gonna be a disaster
in 30 years.
Now, what's the difference between these two brands?
We've got Hot Hands,
and we've got Grabber.
We've only got one.
You know which one the president prefers.
Exactly.
I think it's a Halloween mystery trick.
I think there's only one Grabber left,
so I think more people want Grabber.
Yeah, okay.
All right, sorry.
Anyway, I got an Incredibles T-shirt.
I got some Live Well T-shirts.
You just tried to empty your closet out and get rid of your old shit.
And this is Jeff Tate's last can of Diet Mountain Dew
from my fridge when he stayed over.
And this is a bag that Jeff Tate bought a camouflage shirt in.
I thought I saw
Jeff Tate recently, but then I was like,
am I just looking at the trees right now?
Camouflage shirt.
Referencingly.
All right.
All right, so somebody's
going to win all of that stuff
and it's going to be very warm.
Someone's going to win all that stuff and throw 30% of it away.
No, it's going to go on a shelf in the garage
and they're going to look at it for 10 years,
then they'll throw it away.
Hand warmers, though, those will be useful.
That's utility
enjoy the warm hands guys
grab her
embrace
embrace the heat
grab her
grab her
available in
Ohio State University colors
grab her
Jim Jordan wrestling school
why is there
why is there a picture
of Billy Bush laughing
on the floor?
Grab her.
Doug looked.
They're really looking for it.
It sucks for him that they have to blur out
the Access Hollywood logo.
They don't want anything to do with him.
They cut ties.
Now I feel weird because earlier when I asked
about costumes, there's one I think
sitting right in front of me,
but it also might just be his everyday wear.
Yeah.
This guy right here.
What's your deal?
Oh, my God.
It ties into your Mighty George Young name tag
instead of Mighty Joe Young.
And you're George.
Yes.
And are you curious?
Yeah. Joe Young and you're George and are you curious?
Yeah you look like if a Hasidic Jew turned into a bear that's what it feels like. It's nice to see you on a Saturday is what I want to say. But you but for
real though you just wear that to like bass nectar at Red Rocks, right?
Can you make name tags on the Sabbath?
I don't, the rules are so hard. You gotta hire a
Chavez Goy to do it.
Alright.
Well, good luck, George.
Thanks. I mean that in general
Yep
Although today was a nice day out
So it was probably hot in that thing today
I put it on in line
You put it on in line
Oh what a fun line to wait in
Watching the monkey put his monkey on
That'd be a great
I'm gonna get my monkey on tonight Wasn't there a great... I'm going to get my monkey on tonight.
Wasn't there a man standing next to us
a minute ago?
Where'd this fucking monkey come from?
I'm literally devolving
in front of him.
I'm from monkey business.
It's a company where we hire monkeys
to stand in line for you.
I thought your character
was Most Valuable Primate.
By the way,
a movie that I myself,
have I talked about this
on the show?
You're an MVP?
No.
Most Valuable Primate.
I cannot,
I am so mad
that the description
of Most Valuable Primate
to me is so off
because in that movie,
it is a monkey
who plays hockey,
which of course
we all accept.
All right?
This monkey is fucking amazing at hockey, but
he is so amazing at hockey. If you know anything
about sports, in the trailer for
it, he hits a slap shot.
The monkey, by the way, takes it up
like not even two inches off the ice.
Hits a slap shot that goes through
the net. Now, if you've ever watched the NHL,
nobody, the person who hits it
for like 110 miles,
no one has ever put it
through a fucking net before.
So you need to explain
in most of the primate
that this is a supernatural monkey.
And that to me is my biggest problem
at that moment.
Feel it what it is.
It's just like Gus,
the field goal kicking mule.
He kicks it 100 yards and makes it every just like Gus the field goal kicking mule. Yeah.
He kicks it 100 yards and makes it every time.
That's a superhuman mule.
They don't say anything about it.
Well, I buy it from the mule.
Yeah, I mean...
Yeah, Andy, that would seem legit.
Because mules kick shit all the time.
Monkeys don't play hockey ever it's such a foreign thing to put
it's like like if he if the monkey would have become the coach and use sign language to teach
the players or like call which lines go in and because he did it that way we would believe it
but it's just so unnatural. It does feel very unnatural.
But they don't have...
The mule has a nice little guy
named Andy from Yugoslavia that holds
the ball for him. That's right. So they're
a duo, so I guess... So Yugoslavia,
so it's a current movie.
They say,
there's the little Yugo boy, Andy!
That's movies, Doug.
That was movies.
Those were movies, good.
Sports movies, but still.
With animals.
Movies nonetheless.
I mean, I could watch sports animal movies
all goddamn day.
That movie Ed, where the monkey pitches,
does he ever throw the ball through anything?
No, he doesn't.
He just throws a regular fastball?
Regular fastball.
He's got some movement on a two-seam.
Yeah.
All right, Andy, this is the Scary Movies edition.
So people are gearing up for Halloween on Thursday,
want to know what to watch.
Can you recommend a scary movie,
or what's your favorite scary movie?
Don't you dare say, like, Rudy or...
No, no, I won't.
Fucking Chariots of Fire.
Uh...
Have you ever seen Rudy the Shining?
No, I was going to say
The Shining because I didn't watch it
until later in life and now I just love it.
It's great.
It's in Colorado and it's fun.
Go check out the Stanley Hotel.
I'm selling a timeshare.
You're the first person
who's described The Shining as fun.
It's a fun romp!
It's fun!
It's a fun wintertime movie.
It's cute.
My mom would say it's cute.
It's sweet.
It's a sweet movie about
family.
Just getting together and toasting over a cup of red rum.
That's right.
Think about how cozy it was in there, though,
until everything went down.
Wow.
Just in the mountains.
Just gorgeous.
I can't wait to review this sequel, the Doctor Sleep.
Yeah, because my review is...
Yeah, why is it happening?
It's that easy.
It doesn't need to happen at all.
I was like, how did they not call the sequel
Shinier?
It's like Doctor Sleep came out of nowhere.
That was like, Doctor Sleep came up on the screen
as we just saw the preview
and that was a jump scare. Yeah, I was like, Dr. Sleep came up on the screen as we just saw the preview and that was a jump scare.
Yeah, I was like,
huh?
Dr. Sleep?
We're like,
can we somehow get
Ewan McGregor
in more movies
where he's doing
an American accent?
Please.
Please.
That's what Hollywood wants.
Yeah, he does that a lot.
A lot.
I think just
Scatman Crothers
in the sequel
is called Still Shinin'. Yeah. And he's just a ghost Scatman Crothers in the sequel and it's called Still Shinin'
and he's just a
ghost Scatman Crothers
like Obi-Wan
I mean that would be
the only option
at this point
I know
that's what I'm saying
someone needs to get
in touch with
the Scatman Crothers
don't say
I wanna
we've always said this
I wanna remake Ghost
with Patrick Swayze
today
come on
amazing
and Whoopi's the only one who can talk to him everyone will love it Rick Swayze today. Come on. Amazing.
And Whoopi's the only one who can talk to him.
Everyone will love it.
They do always say that too.
Everyone,
that's a good reminder.
Everyone start freezing yourself
like Ted Williams
so you can come back to life
if they can figure stuff
like that out.
Do it.
Okay.
Cryogenics.
Get into it.
It's fun. It's fun I know Swayze played a dancer
And a bouncer
But did he ever play an athlete
In anything?
I can't picture him
In a baseball or football
He was a base jumper
In Point Break
So that is like an adventure athlete.
Yeah, okay. Surfer and skydiver.
Yeah, surfer and skydiver.
I don't think he's ever been on a team sport.
No.
He's a dancer. That's obviously an athlete.
Yeah.
He's a dancer in 28 movies, and he should be.
Right?
That's what they should do.
Just have a dancing land at Disneyland
with all Patrick's
faces
you can just hoist
baby up everywhere
and then put her
down in the corner
like just move her
right over
yes
they have people there
making sure you don't
do that
I don't know
at dancing land
you can put baby
in the corner.
Let's just be honest.
Yeah, I always just wanted to know,
how far from a corner does baby need to be?
Like, what really constitutes a corner?
So that's what it is.
Doug Benson wants a real clear definition of what is a corner.
Because you're kind of out in the middle of the room right now,
but it still is...
If you're the last person between you and the corner,
does that technically put you in the corner?
How great would it be if Swayze was like,
nobody puts a baby in a corner,
or corner adjacent.
There's a semicircle coming out from each corner.
How big is it?
She is in the restricted area, okay?
And I don't like it.
Like, does she ever shop at the corner store?
Or the corner bakery?
I don't know.
She can't even listen to some
Creedence Clearwater revival songs.
How many?
And definitely not Brimful of Ashes.
She cannot hear that song.
No Corner Shop.
Corner Shop?
No one?
Jesus.
Corner Shop.
That's probably on like 12 soundtracks.
Oh, yeah. They have songs all over 12 soundtracks. Oh yeah.
That song's all over the place.
Yeah. Reebok.
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.
Everybody needs
a bosom. It's like, I agree.
Can you not repeat that over
and over again?
I just love that it's a phrase that you've never
heard before in your entire life.
No one has ever said the phrase, everyone needs a bosom.
He says it so many times in a song, you're like, yeah, that's accepted phraseology right now.
Everybody does need a bosom for a fucking pillow.
People will break their glasses and shit.
Right, I know.
Very excited.
I blame the monkey in the front.
He hasn't thrown anything yet, which is admirable.
You're doing great.
You're doing great.
Whatever else is going on,
you're killing it.
I never saw Ed.
Do you think they teach him pitching
when he starts with his own shit
and then he works up to baseballs?
They form it into balls?
Wait, is Ed
what animal is Ed?
He's a monkey. Is it an orangutan?
No, he's a regular chimpanzee.
Like an extra tall one.
Extra tall chimpanzee.
Yeah, that's right. They saw him throwing his shit.
Someone's like, hey, Buck, get a radar gun on that.
92? Give this
guy a glove.
Time that shit.
Okay, Jason,
scary movies. I would say the
scariest movie for me
is
it's still Silence of the Lambs.
I still watch it.
I am terrified by it.
I know what's going to happen.
When it's real, it feels
very scary to me, and that movie scares
the shit out of me. A lot.
It is officially probably the creepiest.
Especially to go on to win
Best Picture.
You just don't normally have that kind of
creepiness going on.
That's it. Creepy, scary.
At that level. Award level creepiness. award level creepiness award level creepiness i love it i love it i uh wow so i'm gonna kind of go i know
this is gonna sound weird i'm gonna go in that direction but uh i think the original mad max
is so fucking scary to me because of all the anti-Semitism.
No, just the idea, like, because
it's for the same reason
why Black Mirror fucking freaks me
out, is because it's not
too, you know, like, the last Mad Max
movie is, like, a world that
we just don't live in. It's a dystopia
that doesn't exist, but, like, in the
original Mad Max, they're driving real cars
and they pull up to the thing and like that
couple gets just terrorized and then there's
that whole scene where she's in the woods
with the baby and you're like, oh my god, they're gonna
come after her. Just the tension
in that movie is so scary.
Those things scare me more than
like jumping out at you. The plausibility
of it. Monsters and shit. The reality,
it was like the beginning
of society just spiraling
out of control
and I felt like they did
a great job with that
and that scared the shit out of me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's a great answer.
Thank you.
Yeah.
That movie was like
A Quiet Place
but with loud engines.
Super terrifying.
These guys keep making all this noise.
Guys,
I know you're bikers, but settle down.
Settle down. Come on.
You have to whip the chain around your head so much.
I don't like how they spray their mouths with that chemical.
It freaks me out.
They're like...
Did a guy say something back there? I like how they spray their mouths with that chemical. It freaks me out. Yeah. They're like, whew. Yeah.
Did a guy say something back there?
Were you doing an impression of it?
You okay?
Do you need medical attention?
Witness me!
Witness me?
Is that it?
There's a life alert button within the distance of your hand.
Just touch the wall
and Comedy Works
will help you out.
Is that something
from the movie?
Witness?
Maybe.
I'm going to assume so.
I'm just going to say
it should be.
Put it in.
Yeah, I saw that
first Mad Max
maybe once or twice,
but then I was, you know,
obviously super into Road Warrior
and, you know,
everything he's done with it since,
you know,
except for the last part
of Thunderdome.
Yeah.
Once the children show up,
it's like,
fuck this movie.
Yeah.
What's the Tina Turner song?
The dudes on rubber bands
attacking each other
with chainsaws in the Thunderdome? Love it on rubber bands attacking each other with chainsaws
in the Thunderdome.
Love it.
I'm all about it.
Amazing.
It was so fun and weird.
And again, the rules they set up in those movies
are just incredible and they follow through.
It's a great series.
But that first one freaked me out because it's so real.
Yeah, Max is a pretty Jewish name, right?
Yeah, right?
He had to feel bad about that.
Why couldn't I have been like Adolf
or something like that?
Have you guys seen anything lately?
Do you go out to see scary movies
because it's October?
Halloween is coming?
Yeah, I do. I haven't't seen one yet I don't think but what one running through back
through the month they're cleverly opening dr. sleep on November 8th smart
for all those latecomers yeah people they're just like I don't want to do
Halloween yet yeah well we're all don't want to do Halloween yet.
Well, we're all stressed out.
Let's do Halloween again.
Yeah.
It'll be colder.
Wait till it's cozy,
like the Stanley Hotel.
I'm probably going to go see Zombieland 2,
but that's not a horror movie,
but it has horror movie themes.
Yeah, it's got zombies in it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I like,
I like all the event ones.
I've seen all the terrible teen ones.
Sometimes they blur together for me.
Like this person's a little child that kills a person through a video,
and this is like a torture movie.
It gets jumbled up for me.
Well, the torture movies, they got out of hand for a little while,
but they seem to be gone.
I mean, there's not a lot of big horror film releases
this month. No.
I mean, I, on a flight
just in honor of this month,
I finally watched Us.
That was a great horror movie.
Yeah, Jordan Peele did a great job.
That's fucking amazing, and I love that
because, again,
when horror movies spend a lot
of time building the family and the characters, and obviously that has its own twists in it.
Like, but that for me was I'm on a plane.
I'm not even in a theater.
And like there are other people around me and I'm sitting there terrified.
I thought that was fantastic.
But if that can do that to me on a tiny screen in front of me, I was like, great work.
They're talking Lupita Nyong'o.
They're still talking potential Oscar nomination,
which would be amazing.
Yes, 100%.
They snubbed Toni Collette last year for Hereditary
because she was incredible in that.
I feel like those are the best horror movies lately.
The ones where ladies are the main character
and they scream a lot?
Yeah.
The Coachella movie. Very, very scared. They're not the final girl. they scream a lot. Yeah. The Coachella movie.
Very, very scared.
They're not the final girl.
They're the girl.
Yeah.
They're the girl
from the get-go.
Yes.
They're the get-go girl.
They're the start girl
and the final girl.
Yep.
They're both girls.
There's a lot of
strip girl there,
infinite girl.
Yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean
to disturb you,
but Tim Heidecker
was also amazing in us.
I loved him. He was so good. Yeah, Sorry, I didn't mean to stop you. Tim Heidecker was also amazing in us. I loved him.
He was so good.
Yeah,
really interesting
levels to his
and Elizabeth Moss's
performances in that.
Great.
They were just great.
Again,
it's such a huge movie.
You see someone
you're friends with
who's on the movie
and in the movie
and they're doing
a phenomenal job.
It's like the greatest thing.
You wanted to drop
that you're friends
with Tim Heidecker.
Yeah,
I did.
See how I slid that in there? See how I slid that in there?
See how I slid that in there?
Does he know your friends or no?
No, he doesn't.
Does not.
He will after he listens to this podcast.
This is it.
Tim's never done
Doug Lo's movies, I don't think.
He's been on Dining
with Doug and Karen.
Get him on this show.
It was fun to have him on this show. Doug loves on cinema.
I'm on there, but yeah.
Neil Hamburger's never done it either.
Well, let's put it out in the universe.
On cinema, Doug loves movies.
Okay.
Put it out.
Wait, what did I disagree to?
I'm just trying to be a good host and move this along.
Let's do it.
Yeah, because now's the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
I do not envy you, gentlemen,
because you've got a lot to choose from today.
A lot of great name tags and posters.
People are yelling.
We're going to go to a a commercial we'll be right back
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Back to the show.
All right, we did it.
We're back!
Woo!
And we've got some
You guys had to make some hard choices out there
Sorry
George was throwing his shit at you guys the whole time
I know
I mean he was throwing his name tag
Trying to get you to pick it up
I just am really impressed with his opposable thumbs
I think they have opposable thumbs
They do
I can still be impressed
with them so
alright Andy
what are you
who are you playing
on behalf of
I'm playing on behalf of
it looks like
somebody named Jesse
cause it's Jesse Land
it's Jesse Land
double tap
and there's a picture
of Randy and Jason
and Doug
and then there's
some sort of
bald gentleman
that looks like
he would be on
Tim and Eric
I'm not sure who that is maybe it's Jesse yeah and Jason and Doug. And then there's some sort of bald gentleman that looks like he would be on Tim and Eric.
I'm not sure who that is.
Maybe it's Jesse.
That's probably Jesse. Now, Jesse, I was confused because it says IE up top, so I thought
you were switching it gender style.
But nope, here we are.
Is that you, Jesse?
Is that you on here?
No, it's Jeff.
That's Jeff Tate?
Oh, you got a picture of Jeff Tate
from Queensryche.
Yes, the guitar player.
The guitar player from Queensryche
has the same name as Jeff Tate.
He's a different Jeff Tate.
That's an amazing joke. Good job.
That's a solid, deep-cut reference.
That's the joke behind the joke. Good job. That's a good... That's a solid... That's a solid, deep-cut reference. That's the joke behind the joke.
Your command of
80s hair rental is...
We appreciate it.
Randy, if you had to choose, would you
rather be Abigail Breslin
or Emma Stone? I would rather
be Emma Stone. I like
Abigail Breslin, but... I've got some news
for you.
Oh, damn it.
Your wish came true.
Look at that shit.
Oh, yeah.
Look at the tits on Randy.
Jesus Christ.
I don't lead with them, guys.
I don't lead with them.
Hey, hey, his eyes are up here.
Look at his face. Exactly.
I'm up here, for Christ's sake.
I love that the wrong Jeff Tate is on there.
That's beautiful.
That's great.
I mean, not that there's a wrong Jeff Tate.
No.
But for our purposes, there is.
The one we know is wrong.
I just picked, this is Jason, I picked Josh.
It's a Jaws joke, which I think is great.
Because I recently saw Jaws, and it was terrifying.
And this is rated PG.
I don't think Jaws was PG.
Was it?
Okay, so Randy and I, we talk about this in our stand-up,
which I'm sure all of you are coming to the shows tonight.
We talk about the fact
that when you try to show a PG
movie to your kids today,
if they're kind of in that range, you
have to remember there was no PG-13
back in the 80s. So PG covered a lot
of ground. Yeah. PG was basically
anything that wasn't Porky's. That was
PG.
Yeah, kids would be swearing
at their parents. Oh, yeah.
So that gets bitten off.
No, there's always like one moment in a PG movie
that you're watching from the 80s with your kids today
where you're like, oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
I forgot about that.
Oh, there was a rape in 16 Candles.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Jesus.
Do I see the side of a kid's dick in the Goonies?
Yeah, you do, you do.
That's why they call him Chunk.
All right, all right, all right.
I don't need to know that.
It's terrible.
I mean, when you do the shuffle truffle,
there's going to be collateral damage.
Collateral damage.
So I just like this because it just says Josh.
I like a simple.
And the shark is smoking a joint.
Smoking a joint.
So it's the calmest shark.
And hanging off the bottom are Reese's Mini Skittles and Tiny Starbursts a la Halloween.
The kind of sizes that you would get on Halloween.
That's the one I chose.
Fun size.
That's a good one.
Thank you.
There's what?
Doug's on there.
Doug's swimming on top.
I'm swimming.
Doug's swimming on top.
Jaws, terrifying.
Two terrifying moments in Jaws.
A shirtless Doug Benson on top.
Terrifying.
And a high shark going after him.
It's the slowest ocean chase ever.
Midway through, the shark is like,
what are we doing here?
What are we doing here?
What kind of genius is going to give weed to a shark?
It only makes you hungrier.
That shark doesn't need to see blood
to want to start eating things.
We're going to need a bigger bone.
Bravo.
That should have been on the goddamn poster.
All right.
If it would have been on there,
I would have picked it.
Okay.
But yeah, Jaws was sort of the turning,
that was sort of,
things sort of turned the corner and the
modern blockbuster was born and then they
started trying to get away with way too much shit
in PG movies and
they invented PG-13 on the heels of
Gremlins and Temple of Doom. Yep.
Okay, next.
I got the Texas Chainsaw
Matt Scare.
I was
right, I've, Right? I've...
Right?
Matt Sacre?
Sacre?
Massacre.
Massacre.
Massacre.
Can you read?
I like Matt Scare better.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I like it.
And I always loved the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
And when we were up in Seattle, the EMP was doing this really cool thing about music.
They had a whole exhibit on music in horror movies.
And they had a bunch of horror movies in little stations.
And you could watch little documentaries on each of them.
They were talking about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
And they were like, just the sound of the bugs in the fields just was scary.
They spent so much time on sound design on that movie
that you could just see an open field at about 5 o'clock at night
and it would scare the shit out of you.
So I picked that, and I like that.
There you go.
Yeah, great job to Matt for getting that selected.
Nice job, buddy.
And Matt, this one's been chosen before?
No.
Oh, you've brought other name tags.
It's his seventh time
attending the show.
I just want you to know
that because I picked your poster, you know
I don't know shit about movies, so you're gonna lose.
It's more of a curse
than a blessing, but okay.
I think the playing field is fairly even.
I do too.
I do too.
I feel good about all your chances.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think one of you is going to win.
Don't be so sure.
We can always have a first.
It can happen.
Well, this game is very easy to win.
It's just only one of you can
win. It's called Live, Die,
Repeat.
I'm going to say the actual
title of a real motion picture.
I'm going to say it slowly.
And the first one of you that can repeat
back the entire title
correctly, accurately, is the winner.
You guess as often as you like.
I'll start over again after each guess.
Guys ready?
Oh, yeah, we're ready.
You don't really need to know anything.
No.
If I get through the whole title, you just have to repeat it back.
We'll see.
People in the audience will know it.
It's no monkey business.
He can't promise you.
A.
A. A A
What if there was a movie just called A
A the Fonzie story
By the way
It could have been AI
So fuck you all
And then he just goes I
There's a movie called Z
And there's a movie called W
I think that's a movie called Z, and there's a movie called W.
Yeah.
I think that's it.
Q?
Oh, that's right.
That Othello O movie.
X?
X?
There's a movie called X.
Malcolm X is called X,
technically, I think.
Right?
It's not called Malcolm X?
I think it's just X, right?
I think it was called Malcolm X. Because that...
It was in Origins.
It was a big silver ass.
I liked when he lifts
when Plymouth Rock lands on him and he lifts it up
yeah
he looked like that
he went like this to the rock he pointed and then went like that
and then the rock just left
a
nightmare
a nightmare on Elm Street
a nightmare on Elm Street
part two
a nightmare on Elm Street a nightmare on Elm Street? Part 2?
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2.
Dream Warriors.
A Nightmare on Elm Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
four.
A nightmare on Elm Street four.
A nightmare
on
Elm
Street.
A nightmare on Elm Street four, women be shopping.
A
nightmare on Elm Street 4, women be shopping. A nightmare on Elm Street 4.
A nightmare on Elm Street 4, electric boogaloo.
A nightmare on Elm Street 4.
A nightmare on Elm Street 4, men love trucks.
A nightmare on Elm Street for men love trucks.
A nightmare on Elm Street for the...
People in the audience know it.
The dream...
A nightmare on Elm Street for the dream warriors.
A nightmare on Elm Street for the Dream Master.
A Nightmare on Elm Street for the Dream Master.
That's a two-way knockout.
Two-way knockout.
Who got it, Doug. That's a first.
That's how you do it, bitches.
It's true.
Twins really do finish each other's titles.
That's right.
Who won that one?
By my eyes, and unfortunately, that's all we have to go on.
Yeah.
And unfortunately, they're red as shit.
Wait, George the Monkey, you were watching, right?
Who do you think was the winner?
Grant?
You think Randy?
Yeah.
Depending on if they actually switched at birth and yet.
Oh!
That's a good point.
He's a smart monkey.
He is.
If you were to switch at birth...
He's the proudest monkey.
The other one won.
All right, it doesn't really matter who won.
Go get a glass
of Dreaming Tree wine. That's Randy
Sklar's big endorsement.
I'm good with that.
But we will start with you, Randy, on this next game.
Another game that doesn't really
matter.
That last game that we really care about.
So just, you know,
do your best.
It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Jeff Davis.
Or for today, it's called
The Tagline Is Coming From Inside The House.
Yes.
Yes.
So I'm going to say to you and you alone, Randy Sklar,
So I'm going to say to you and you alone, Randy Sklar, the name, the tagline of a motion picture,
a line that was used on the poster or in the advertising or somewhere, somewhere related to the movie, according to IMDb.
And, um, IMDb.
And, um...
We are DB. Been saying it for years.
And, um...
Yeah, you just get one guess
if you can't think of it.
I just got IMDB.
That's fantastic.
That's so funny,
and that's so good,
and it's so on-brand.
All right, anyway.
I went to the IMDb
boat party
at Comic-Con last year
and they gave out
sailor hats
with the IMDb logo on it.
Oh my God.
So yeah,
I just wear that
whenever I'm feeling low.
Or whenever you're at
a Captain and Tennille
tribute concert, so.
Good current reference.
Sure, hey.
Even people who are into Yacht Rock
are like, who?
Who is that?
It's a bummer that one of them
wasn't eaten by Jaws.
Tag me. tag me like you never see
the shark
actually bite somebody
until the very end
that's right
yeah
so it's
it's violent
mostly in your head
mhm
just like a
kind of like psycho
was too
like you don't ever
see the knife hit
Janet Leigh
you just
see a guy
could just as easily
be jerking off.
If his dick
was over his shoulder.
Oh yeah.
He's got a long one.
He's definitely, it's a wrap around.
Honey,
are you still in the shower? Yeah.
God, mom.
Give me a minute.
He is the mother.
I've got a lot of
responsibility to shoulder.
Okay, so Randy,
what movie
has the tagline,
oh yes,
there will be blood? It'd be very strange movie has the tagline Oh Yes There Will Be Blood.
Be very strange for the movie
There Will Be Blood. I was gonna say
to have that tagline.
Oh Yes.
Oh Yes.
I drink your blood.
I have the name of a movie in my mind
that I so wish this was the tagline to this movie.
I have five.
No.
Can I say mine before you guess?
No, you may not.
This is my fake guess.
Oh yes, there will be blood.
The apple dumpling game.
Available soon on Disney+.
How fucking great would that be?
If that was the tagline
for The Apple Dumpling Game.
I was going to say,
Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood, Ladybugs.
Hey, they're maturing into adulthood.
They're becoming young women on the soccer field. They're becoming more ladies than bugs.
Fuck you!
For judging.
Support them being able to, okay.
Oh, yes.
It works for all of them, though.
Bed knobs and broomsticks.
Yep.
Chitty, chitty, bang, bang.
Anything with Angela Lansbury Or Don Knotts
Oh yes
There will be blood
There will
Be blood
Oh man
Uh
Christine
Okay
Yes
There was blood in that
Okay
Probably more likely To have a car pun
yeah what do you think put the blood in overdrive jason like i
i i'm gonna say uh greg Gus, the field goal kicking mule?
Most valuable primate.
I'm going to say Gremlins 2.
Yeah, full title.
This gentleman over here.
Full title.
Yeah.
Gremlins 2.
Electric boogaloo.
I don't know.
Eric, all right, so fine.
Full title.
Put the full title in the basket. All right, so fine. Full title. Put the full title in the basket.
All right.
We don't have a fireman.
All right, then Gremlins won.
Jesus.
You mean just Gremlins?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gremlins won. I love when they made it.
They're like, Gremlins won.
Yeah, we're fucking cocky.
Okay.
There'll be a 2.
Gremlins 1.
That's my guess.
It's not that or Gremlins 2, the new batch.
The new batch.
Just neither of those.
I thought they went to Hollywood.
Yeah, those movies aren't too bloody except for when the gremlins themselves explode in a microwave. Yeah, they movies Those movies aren't too bloody Except for the gremlins When the gremlins themselves
Explode in a microwave
Yeah, they're gooey
Oh yes, there will be blood
Ernest goes to camp
Sounds more like
Ernest goes to prison camp
Oh yes
Ouch, ouch, ouch
So, Andy, save me.
I'm going to guess, it seems like a Hollywood classic.
It seems to fit the iconography of the movie, Carrie.
Carrie, there's blood everywhere in that.
Yeah, right there in the poster, she's covered in blood already.
It says, don't take Carrie to the prom.
Because this girl cannot handle what's going on with her body. poster, she's covered in blood already. It says, don't take Carrie to the prom.
Two guys. Because this girl cannot handle what's going on with her body.
No.
That's right.
Three producers that sound like Robert Evans were like, it's all about the blood.
I'm going with Carrie.
Incorrect.
That, believe it or not, was a tagline for the motion picture Saw.
Oh.
I never saw it.
Saw.
I never seen it.
Did you see Saw 6, Riverboat Gambler?
No, I did not.
Okay.
Nobody's on the board.
Oh, God. It's shocking. Back to board. Oh, God.
That's shocking.
Back to Randy.
Oh, God.
This is a lot of pressure.
See, we were about even.
I told you.
Evenly terrible.
What movie, Randy?
Oh, God.
That's the tagline.
Open wide this Halloween. that's the tagline open wide
this Halloween
open wide
this Halloween
showgirls
that's my first thought
open wide
open what
I was going to say deep throat
but also that expression,
maybe they were just saying
the movie's opening wide.
Opening wide, yeah.
3,700 theaters.
Opening wide.
Open wide this Halloween.
As opposed to other Halloweens
where you keep it shut.
I think it is one of the Jaws movies
I think it's Jaws
and I know
don't yell out
Jaws 2
I think it was Jaws 2
and I don't know
if there's anything
beyond that
in the title
well that had
the most famous
tagline ever
Jaws 2
don't go in the water
and don't open wide
this Halloween
just when you thought it was safe
to go back in the water.
So maybe not that.
Open wide this Halloween.
Something that's biting people.
Chomping them.
In space, no one can hear you open wide.
On Halloween.
It's okay if you don't have a guess.
I don't have a guess.
Okay.
I have a guess. Jason has a guess.
I feel so strongly about
this and I also know that it is
wrong.
Little Shop of Horrors.
Oh!
That's really good.
Because there's the dentist thing with Steve Martin,
and there's the plant that opens wide.
That is my pick.
That is really good.
It's also wrong.
It's really good, also wrong.
It's not right, but I applaud your creativity there.
Thank you.
I am not confident, but also
equally as confident as Jason that mine is wrong.
But it's a lot of fun.
Dr. Giggles.
Guys remember that one?
It's about a dentist, and so
maybe that was a terrible tagline at the late
80s. It's probably wrong, but it was
that guy who's in a bunch of terrible sci-fi
movies, and he was yanking them teeth,
guys. I have one.
Orca, the killer whale.
Remember Orca?
That was in that same, there you go,
open wide this Halloween, Orca, bitch.
Blackwater, yo.
My favorite knockoff.
The cove, the cove.
You know, there was, yeah,
every animal was attacking people after Jaws.
You know, paws and claws.
Piranha.
I just saw the end of Piranha.
And the whole thing of the end of that movie is that, like,
I don't know, maybe they could come in the ocean,
and then, like, they'd turn the ocean red.
Piranha.
After Star Wars and Jaws were both such big hits,
the Italians came up, I think it was the Italians,
came up with a movie called Tintorera Tiger Shark.
And the shark sounded like Darth Vader.
Shark had a breathing problem.
Whenever the shark came around, it was like...
Oh, man.
Yeah, it was very strange.
But open wide this Halloween
was the tagline for Saw 3.
Oh, my God.
Never saw it.
Never saw it.
We're back to Randy.
Ah.
What movie
had the tag team?
Saw 2.
Saw 2.
Saw 2.
You guys are watching
three people
not score at all,
but you should be used to that
because you're Broncos fans.
Okay.
I had to bring it back to score.
I'm kidding
We just wanted to give him an excuse
To get back into deep Broncos talk
Yeah talk about sports a little more
Because we're so bad at this
Tell me
I love you
You know I love you more than you love me
What movie, Randy,
has the tagline
Make America Bleed Again?
Saw II.
No.
Make America
Bleed Again.
So that
has to be recent.
That was hilarious, but no more audience guesses.
Jason?
You don't know, Rand?
No.
Let me...
I thought Randy guessed already.
No, what did you guess?
The hills have eyes?
No, he said he didn't have any idea.
Oh, no, he guessed Saw II.
I guessed Saw II, and that was wrong.
The hills have eyes.
Great guess. No. I guess Saw II, and that was wrong. The Hills Have Eyes. Great guess.
No.
Jason?
Taken.
That is my final answer.
Taken.
With Liam Neeson.
I mean, the word again in the title would imply that it's not the first in the series.
That's why I said Saw II.
Taken VI.
I think they only got to III.
What do you think, Andy?
Oh, there's not a Saw IV?
Say what?
There's not a Saw IV?
No, he said Taken 6.
And I said, the Taken series
only got to part 3.
Unless you count every other Liam Neeson movie.
Some of them they call
Run All Night, but that's a
fucking Taken movie. He's getting
something someone took. A walk amongst the
tombstones, yeah, because someone got taken.
And he's gotta go get it back.
He's in remarkable shape.
He's got a special set of skills.
So Saw IV can't be an answer?
What do you mean it can't be an answer?
If it's not a movie.
Well, who said it's not a movie?
Saw IV.
I'm going to say Saw IV.
Incorrect.
From 2017. Yeah, this is recent the year 2017 recent enough for this
hilarious tagline make America bleed again Oh Jake saw so it saw with dancing
I don't know what yep it's, this time he does an Irish dance
before every torture.
Jigger, please.
Oh, my man.
My man went Billy Elliot on his ass.
Okay, back to...
No.
Back to Jason.
Oh, no.
I'm so excited that you guys might get one of these right.
No, we're not going to get this.
Game shows, they get the right answers too often.
I know.
They should be just really hard questions and no correct answers.
Jason, what movie has the tagline,
Will you survive until the end?
tagline will you survive until the end
will you survive until the end is that is that the ring I don't know I'm gonna say the ring it's a no solid guess though, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. No, you guys are great at guessing.
Yeah.
Not the greatest at noticing patterns,
but go ahead, Jason.
I'm going to say... I'm going to say Saw II.
Saw II, Saw II, Saw II.
Nope.
Andy?
What's the one?
I'm going to say,
is it something like with a game,
but it's not the game?
Oh, Texas Chainsaw?
No, is it like Cabinet in the Woods?
No.
I love that movie, though. That's one of the... That's too old. If you've never seenin in the Woods? No.
Love that movie though.
That's one of the That's too old.
If you've never seen
Cabin in the Woods
check it out
this Halloween.
The correct answer
to will you survive
until the end is
Saw
the final chapter.
Oh God.
I didn't know
what that was called.
Never seen it.
And this is not making me want to see any of that.
And I heard Carrie Elwes made like nine bucks, and it's a huge deal.
So get on out, take it to the streets, get Carrie Elwes more money for Saw.
Yeah.
Here we go, Randy.
Mm-hmm.
Saw 2. Saw 2. Saw 2. Saw Andy. Saw 2.
Saw 2.
Saw 2.
Saw 2.
Who will survive and what will be left of them?
I mean, that could have been Schindler's List.
It's like any movie.
It's anything.
I'm mad now.
Like, seriously, the questions you're asking
is like Doug saying,
what book has the words they are in it?
That's what it feels like to me.
I wish I knew this. Saw II. They are in it. That's what it feels like to me.
I wish I knew this.
Saw 2.
Okay.
Jason?
Tyler Perry presents We Be Sawing.
He did two Halloween movies. Cody picked one of them. You need to hear Medea be using that song. He did two Halloween movies.
Cody, you picked one of them.
Madea be using that song.
Ah, Jesus.
That'd be a good tagline for a Jesus movie.
Yeah.
I'll go with The Last Temptation of Christ.
Alright, Andy.
This is yours to steal.
You can just take this fucker.
What is it again?
Who will survive
and what will be left of them?
That is so good
for The Last Temptation of Christ.
That's right.
Just his blood.
I don't know what any of the variations
of the Saw movies are called.
Like, there's Jason in Space.
There's Terminator X.
Yeah, you don't know what those are called either.
Yeah, those aren't...
Those aren't movies either.
Jason in Space.
They are. Jason and Freddy are in Space. They are.
Jason and Freddy are in space.
I know.
Just say a big horror movie
so we can get this over with.
Scream.
No, no.
It's written on that poster
right in front of you.
Oh!
Texas Chains.
Yeah, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Massacre.
Yeah, that's the answer.
Oh, man.
I was just...
He was even pointing to the poster like,
you guys, it's right there.
That's what he did.
I thought you were pointing that
Chase Bryant had something on his shoes.
Sorry.
It was literally on that poster.
Oh, it is literally written.
It literally says...
It says it on the thing.
That's why I put it down on the ground.
I turn it upside down.
I know.
Hoping you guys wouldn't notice
Then again I read it as
The Texas Chainsaw Matt scare
So
I was going to fuck that up too
Okay so
To determine a winner in this game
I know I'm using the word winner
Very loosely
Have you ever seen such futility on this stage?
To determine the best loser,
we are going to do one more.
I'm going to say the whole tagline,
and then I'm going to say what year it came out,
who directed it, who starred in it,
and then I'm going to say the title.
Okay.
That's still not going to help.
So somewhere along the way,
I hope you guys figure it out.
I hope you figured out the theme.
Here we go.
Keep an eye on him, monkey.
Yeah.
He just got his bill.
Does everybody want to watch a monkey
try to figure out his bill?
Yeah, exactly.
It is amazing.
Do you need the price in bananas
to make it easier?
It is bananas to watch.
All right, here we go.
Mm-hmm.
When the order came to retreat,
one man stayed.
Any guesses before I continue
no
if you're in the audience
you know it don't help him out
when the order came to retreat
one man
stayed
it was directed by Mel Gibson
it's from
2016
starring Andrew Garfield Gibson. It's from 2016.
Starring Andrew Garfield as the man.
That's it!
That's it, you did it!
It's right. I knew it.
I knew it.
I thought it was going to be a horror movie.
Yeah, I know. It's got a saw in it.
Yeah.
That was the theme.
Every answer had the word saw in it.
I was going to guess the Facebook movie.
Which also isn't the title of that movie.
The Sausal Network.
Thank you.
That is worth every
bit of that woman's clap.
Thank you. Thank you. I'll take
it all.
I wanted to do, I saw what you did last summer,
but it's,
I know. I know what you did.
I would have done, I know what you did I would have done I know what you saw
what I did last time
alright we got a few minutes
to determine
a winner today
and
we have to do that
with a game
called
last man
or woman
Stanton
these are all Tim Allen movies or woman Stanton.
These are all Tim Allen movies.
I mean, that would
fit in with the
scary theme.
I thought you were
going to say that
would fit in with
the not comedy theme.
Oh, there will be
blood.
The Santa Claus.
This is where he got busted With coke I think
Not Comedy Works
Colorado
Just to be clear
I hope he didn't get busted
For coke here
Cause that
First they take your phone
Then they bust you for coke
The indignity's never end
Lot of snow on that mountain You get it back At the end of the show The indignity's never end.
A lot of snow on that mountain. You get it back at the end of the show.
They do chop it up for you, too,
which is really nice.
Comedy Works is going the extra mile.
Did you figure out your bill, monkey?
Did you figure out your bill, monkey?
Well, you only have like a couple banana daiquiris, right?
Yep.
They don't serve anything in a coconut here.
I bet you'd love it.
Okay, so for this game,
I've preselected some audience members to help us out.
I think we'll probably go to two different people.
Starting with, where is Josh Troh?
T-R-O-H?
Right there.
Hey, Josh.
What's up, Josh?
Nice to see you, Josh.
Oh, and your poster made it up on the stage.
This happens so often that we pick a poster that is also somebody that I pre-picked.
And it's just the luck of the draw.
And you did suggest to me via Twitter that you had a scary actor or actress.
I was going to say Jamie Lee Curtis and Jamie Kennedy.
But you can just do one.
All right.
So he offered up Jamie Lee Curtis and Jamie Kennedy.
But he's allowing me to just do one.
Jamie Lee Curtis is obviously a great one.
She's made her mark in this business in film with horror movies
and, of course, moved on to do some other things and has gone back.
You know, you know. So, you know, you know.
So, you know, Activia is not
the correct answer. Oh, see?
Because that shit is scary.
It's fast. And where is a person
that goes on Twitter by the name
Hop in Space?
Ba-ba-ba-ba!
And seriously, they take phones but they let you bring in an air horn?
Yeah.
What's your name in actuality?
Jason.
Jason. Hi, Jason.
I see you.
Yeah.
Jason.
He might have your name as well.
Yeah, I actually may see you. He might also be named Jason. We don't know yet, but I may see you. I. Jason. He might have your name as well. Yeah, I actually may see you.
He might also be my Jason.
We don't know yet, but I may see you.
I just remembered my middle name is Jason.
Really?
What?
I just remembered.
Good horror name.
Good horror movie name.
I know that.
Great name.
Great name.
Okay, so Jason, what would you like to suggest?
I have Jamie Lee Curtis and Johnny Depp.
Oh, Johnny Depp has been in his share of scary-ish movies,
intentionally and unintentionally.
Willy Wonka.
That's like a hundred movies, right?
We definitely don't need to get any more names
than Jamie Lee Curtis and Johnny Depp.
But just in the interest of time,
I'll sit this one out.
That's not what I meant.
No, but you know,
because also I'll say all the ones
you guys are thinking of
and make you sad.
Too late.
Already sad
about how I performed tonight.
Okay, so we'll start with Andy.
Then we'll go to Jason. Then we'll go to Jason.
Then we'll go to Randy.
You've got one lifeline.
That's the person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them at any point,
but only one time for help with your answer.
And other than that...
You just got to name movies.
On your own.
Movies that either Jamie Lee Curtis
or Johnny Depp has been in.
In my IMDB brain,
I don't think
they were ever
in something together,
but maybe someone
will surprise me.
All the guesses
are from onstage only.
Please don't guess
from the audience,
even though this club
is usually pretty good
about that.
Go, Andy.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
It's pronounced
Caribbean, asshole.
Let me try it. Caribbean's pronounced Caribbean asshole. Let me try.
Caribbean asshole.
Perfect.
Pirates of the Caribbean Asshole is a great porno.
Trying to find that gold.
Digging deep.
Keep digging.
Oh, yes.
There will be blood.
Hang on.
Yikes. Brown eye be blood. Hang on. Oh, there.
Yikes.
Brown eye, matey.
Okay.
Wait a second.
Wait, wait, wait.
We got to deal with Andy first.
Oh, you're going to...
We got to deal with what he just did.
I screwed up.
Yeah, full title.
Pirates of the Caribbean.
So many people in this room know it.
I know.
I know, but... but also it's like
I get dinged on
R the and stuff right
you get dinged on
all of it
so you might want to
step back
I thought I was being smart
guessing the first one first
it has like one word
in the title
oh great
oh I can just say
something else
yeah
perfect
Halloween
okay that is correct Halloween.
Okay.
That is correct.
I thought once I started it that shit left the game.
It's so hilarious that while you were
stumbling around saying the word Halloween
you said out loud
the name of another Jamie Lee Curtis movie.
And I'm not going to tell you until later what it was
Jesus Christ
Edward Scissor's penis
no Edward Scissor's hands
Scissor hands
trading places
right
you guys might be doing
yeah that's right
one dollar
Andy
freaky
Friday
oh look at you
I know Jamie Lee
she has a yogurt problem
she has to eat Activa
it's called Activia you should be thrown out of the game for that she's an idiot because she has a yogurt problem. She has to eat Activa. It's called Activia.
You should be thrown out of the game for that.
She's an idiot because she has a yogurt problem?
Activa.
They say it's the other way around,
but you can't get enough of the stuff.
Her colon is so clean.
When I found out I had to cut back on yogurt,
thank God I found Activia.
It's not even yogurt.
My turn?
Rango!
I thought you were going to say Unchained or something.
Whoa.
We're going to have a dad movie offer.
Rango!
I'm going to make a choice that may be wrong.
True Lies?
Why is that wrong? It's right.
It's right. It's good.
It's so right, it's right.
It's so right, it's Rango.
Back to you, Andy.
Halloween
H20.
Yes.
Very clever.
I'm literally...
I'm out.
You can go to your lifeline,
because also by the time it comes back to you,
something might jog your memory.
Josh, what you got, bro?
What do you got for him, Josh?
Tusk.
Tusk, bitches.
Tusk.
Weird Johnny Depp cameo in that.
Tusk. Kind of a long cameo in that. Tusk.
Kind of a long cameo.
Josh goes deep.
Thank you, Josh.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Yes.
Which I love that you mentioned that immediately when Johnny Depp's name came up.
But I said the wrong title.
Yeah.
So I wanted to throw someone a curveball.
Yeah, you did it.
I wanted to throw someone a scissor ball.
Andy?
What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
I'll tell you what, it's this annoying family.
Yeah.
Amen.
Good point.
You don't have to sit through the whole movie
to know what's eating Gilbert.
Yeah.
Plus he hates his last name, probably.
Jason?
The Nightmare Before Christmas?
Woo!
Wait, why?
Why is that not him?
Why would he?
He's not in it.
Johnny Depp's not in that?
No, I mean, wow. If you threw a dart at Tim Burton movies, Is that not him? Why would he? He's not in it. Johnny Depp's not in that? No.
No, I mean, wow.
Of all the... If you threw a dart at Tim Burton movies...
I picked the one.
It'd be so easy...
That's the only one I know.
Jeez.
Thought he was in that one.
So you out?
Well, let me think.
Hold on.
That was my guy, man.
It's tough.
Does he have, like, water for chocolate?
Um, no.
No, you got one of the words right.
Or chocolate.
Yes, chocolate.
I knew chocolate.
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
That's what I meant.
It's chocolate.
It's pronounced Activa.
Chocolate.
I'm going to go to my lifeline.
Okay, Randy's lifeline says...
My girl.
My girl. My girl. Okay, Randy's lifeline says... My girl.
My girl.
Yeah, starting Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm going to say my girl.
Andy?
Best in show...
Oh, no, she's not in that.
She's just married to that guy.
Cry baby.
Oh!
Oh!
That's a good one.
I'm out.
I'm going to say I'm out.
Okay.
That's okay.
Jesus.
We're almost out of time anyway.
I mean...
Is Randy still in?
Randy's still in
Sorry Josh
Thanks dude
God damn
I just go blank
I got Rango
Was there a Rango 2?
There was no Rango 2.
Damn it.
There was a sequel to My Girl, though.
There was a sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yeah, there was.
I don't think you even have to know the numbers.
You just have to know the extra words.
Right.
I'm staying away from them, but I just...
Is there
Pirates of the Caribbean,
The Legend of Jack Sparrow?
No.
I mean...
I'm out.
Good try. Randy?
I was going to say...
Thank you.
Pressure is hard.
I was going to say Pirates of the Caribbean,
The Legend of Curly's goal.
Right?
It's always fun.
Jack Sparrow went on that ranching trip
trying to recapture his youth.
That's it?
Fuck.
It's ridiculous.
Because you freeze up in your brain
and you know there are things
that you should know.
And then he like hit his wife
and he didn't do movies for a while.
There was my girl
and then...
My girl too?
Full title It's called My Girl 2
Not the bees again
My Girl 2
Bees nuts
I don't think there's a subtitle
It's just My Girl 2
It's My Girl 2 The Legend of Curly's Gold.
Andy?
I'm going to say
a Johnny Depp movie
with Donnie Brasco.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Brasco,
Brasco, yeah.
Ringo, Rango.
Donnie Rango.
And that's it.
Oh, I got it.
What do you mean you got it?
Oh, no.
It was just your turn and you didn't get it.
I did my girl too.
Oh, that's right.
Okay, we're back to you.
You gave him a bonus.
You gave him a bonus.
I know we're bad, but we're not that bad.
Yeah, we are back to you.
Whitey?
What?
The Whitey Bulger? The Whitey Bulger?
The Whitey Bulger.
Listen, I'm just trying
to host a show here.
There's no reason
for name calling.
That could have been
for everyone.
Jason's the only black guy
in here.
All right, so.
Give it up for Jason.
Hey, do you want to
stand up and yell
Whitey real fast?
You can do it.
Whitey!
Thank you. The Whitey real fast? You can do it. Whitey! Thank you.
The Whitey.
Meow, meow, meow.
Didn't he do the Whitey?
Wasn't he Whitey Bulger?
Yeah, but I don't think it was called Whitey.
It should have been.
That guy sucked.
Oh, shit.
I just remembered one.
Oh, I got one.
Blow.
Blow.
Blow.
Very good.
Favorite moment in Blow is at the very end when the picture of the actual guy comes up
and you're like, oh, he is ugly.
Jesus, don't put that right after Johnny Depp.
Andy, this is yours to Jesus, don't put that right after Johnny Depp. Andy,
this is yours to lose, buddy.
Sleepy Hollow.
Now are you out, Randy?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's out.
Let's hear it for Andy Jewett!
Jesse.
Jesse, come get your prizes.
Congratulations to Jesse Land.
Make your way to the stage.
Enjoy all Jeff Tate's stuff, Jesse.
Take my poster and your poster
and those two bags.
And that candy if you want it.
Sklar Brothers here tonight.
Two shows.
Who's coming back tonight?
Come on.
Come on.
I knew some of you would.
I want more.
I knew some would.
Yeah, come on out.
Dude, 7.30 and 9.45.
Yep.
And what else have you guys got to plug?
We will be in Austin, Texas
at Cap City Comedy Club
on November 13th
through the 16th.
But on November 7th
we're doing a show in L.A.
This is, I guess,
for the podcast,
but if anybody's here out in L.A.
On November 7th
at Dynasty Typewriter
called Tag It,
where our friends go on stage,
they do their set,
Jay and I are right off stage
just writing tags for their bits.
We come on stage right
after their set and pitch them our jokes. It is
so much fun. So we're doing that on that show.
Good people. Rhea Butcher,
Matt Bronger, Jay Chandrasekhar,
Kyle Ayers,
Ryan Sickler, Jess May Peluso. Great show.
So that's Thursday, November
7th at Dynasty Typewriter.
And then, last thing, I'm
sorry, live. We're doing live down at PeopleTown at Largo
on December 2nd.
Yes.
Weird Al Yankovic and Aisha Tyler are our guests
with music by Dave Longstrat,
the lead singer from Dirty Projectors.
So that's December 2nd.
Get your tickets, LA, and people out here.
Right on.
Do you have anything to add to that, Jason?
No, I love what he said.
And Andy Jewett, what's going on with you?
I want to plug a pilot that hopefully you'll be hearing about soon
that I did with Michael Madsen, who's in Donnie Brosco.
Yeah, yeah.
And Mathilde Olivier, who is in J.J. Abrams' movie Overlord.
She's really great.
And then three of the five super troopers,
Jay Chandrasekhar, Eric Stolhansky, and Paul Soder are all in it.
The best.
I'm in it.
A couple local actors from Denver.
It's called Offline.
It's about life after the internet goes away.
It's set in Colorado.
So just start randomly tweeting at studios, make Offline. Offline. Make's about life after the internet goes away. It's set in Colorado. Just start randomly tweeting at studios.
Make Offline.
Make it!
Make it!
It's directed and written by
Gabriel Doran, who's great.
He's a guy from Denver.
Thanks to Incredibles and Live Well
for helping make it happen.
Plugged out.
As always, my dates and deets can be found at douglosmov happen. Nice. Plugged out. Yeah. As always,
my dates and deets can be found
at douglosmovies.com.
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you see Ted Danson
getting arrested
with Jane Fonda
the other day?
Yeah. good for him
I say
yeah
getting some
last minute
snapshots on stage
you're not getting
there we go
get the monkey
thank you everybody
for being here
thank you to
Comedy Works
one more time
for all my guests
Randy Sklar
Jason Sklar thank you our winner, Andy Jewett.
As always, positive energy.
Do you like Rick and Morty?
How about Robot Chicken?
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