Doug Loves Movies - Anna Mazza, Trey Galyon and Sean Mooney guest
Episode Date: June 17, 2019Live from Hyena's Comedy Nightclub in Dallas, Doug welcomes Anna Mazza, Trey Galyon and Sean Mooney to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a... free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky seeds
With 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not more that he won't see
Cause Doug loves police Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from Hyenas in Dallas, Texas.
This is my favorite club named after a laughing mammal.
It's Saturday, June 15, 2019. And and i can always oh my god you haven't even asked to see them yet
and look at these sons of bitches as i was about to say always amazing name tags here in Dallas. Let's go ahead and take a look.
This one just says, hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name's
Doug, and I love movies.
And then it just says Jason Bourne
at the bottom.
I, comma, also, comma,
love movies.
Your name's Jason, but not Bourne.
Just the first part.
Well, that is an interesting take on a name tag.
I wish you luck.
Don't think you're going to get picked.
Lockstock and Two Smoking Carols feels like one I've seen before.
Have I seen that? This is fresh?
New to you?
Oh, you've done other name tags?
Oh, okay.
Any Player One, that's pretty fucking clever.
Instead of escape room, we have escouper room.
And your name's Cooper.
Okay.
What's this shit you attach to it?
Mrs. Fields' individual cookies?
Oh, okay. No, I'm good.
But, you know, every escape room
should have some Mrs. Fields' cookies.
Wet hot
a Meredith summer.
I get it.
Scott Tubb time machine, too.
This is another classic one
where the lights don't make it easier for me
to read it, but
I did see this one on the
internet. Tucker and Dale versus
Eva. Nice.
Very nice. Tinker Taylor
Soldier Spy. Now see this one,
I know for sure she's been here before
because it's got signatures all over
it by me
and my guests.
So, did you get picked ever?
Just once.
Greedy.
But John Fission, this thing's fucking incredible.
Look at that.
I would love to make a remake of Going Fission with Ungayo.
Where we smoke...
That's like a cigar.
That's not even a...
You think that's a blunt?
I say it's a blunt.
Okay.
All right, whatever you say, John.
And then look at this.
This one, holy shit.
I got to get a picture of this one
because I've always wanted to play Annabelle.
Oh!
How fucked up is that?
That doll is terrifying So that's the doll there
That's a little girl holding the doll
But still
Wow
Good job Joanna
Good job everyone
This one's got a lot of shit going on
Might as well show it to everybody
Just because it's so complicated
Why does it say go back to China bitch? This one's got a lot of shit going on. I might as well show it to everybody just because it's so complicated.
Why does it say,
Go back to China, bitch?
Seems rude.
What movie?
Oh, this is all Donnie Darko stuff?
Somebody says these words in Donnie Darko?
I don't wet the bed anymore?
Go suck a fuck?
I can't believe this movie wasn't more popular.
Wow.
And your name is Dylan
Darko.
Good job, Dylan. Good job,
everyone. Thank you.
I really appreciate the effort
everybody makes with the name tags.
Doug Plucks, here we go.
The most exciting part of the show.
You can't wait to hear where I'm going next.
I'm doing a stand-up show here tonight at 7 o'clock.
Is anyone coming to that?
Oh, my goodness.
That's going to be super fun.
And I'm going to get people up on stage to play Last Man Standing
so you can find out how hard it is.
I almost swore again, but I'm trying to cut
back on my fucking
swearing.
Tomorrow, tomorrow.
Did I
make a huge mistake booking a Father's
Day show in Fort Worth?
Are people super into their dads
there?
But anyway, I'm doing stand-up there tomorrow afternoon at 4.20.
And then Friday, Douglas Movies is going to be part of Skank Fest at Brooklyn Bazaar in Brooklyn.
First time ever doing Douglas Movies in Brooklyn.
And then Monday, June 24th, Douglas Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City.
And we're doing a Doug Lowe's Movies, of course, in Los Angeles at UCB on Tuesday, June 25th at 9.30 p.m.
For all my dates and deets, go to DougLowe'sMovies.com.
That's DougLowe'sMovies.com!
Yeah!
Wow!
What? Shh! at StarClubScoobies.com Yeah! Cacao! Wallet!
Shh!
Cooper made a helpful sign.
Yeah, cacao, wallet,
don't say buttfuck.
That's, I mean,
that's, you should just,
this is just something to keep in your own head
on a daily basis.
Don't say buttfuck.
There's rarely a good reason.
But this is, this is very finely,
you do good work, Cooper.
I appreciate you.
We also got, people threw stuff on stage
for the prize bag, and, you know,
while I appreciate that, I also wish people wouldn't do that.
Because then more people are going to do it.
I shouldn't have mentioned it, but I did.
So here we are.
But this is actually pretty cool.
It's a CD with two songs on it.
The original version and an instrumental version of The Dead Don't Die by Sturgill Simpson,
which is a song if you like it, you're going to love
The Dead Don't Die, the movie, because you get to hear
the song over and over again.
And if you hate the song, you should probably
skip the movie.
And a VHS
copy previewed,
so it only cost $7 whenever
the purchase was made, of
Novocaine, starring
Steve Martin. See what
happens? Nobody cares. It's just
like you're getting rid of your garbage
through me.
And I do not appreciate it.
But I kind of do.
I brought some stuff, though, for the prize
bag. A Douglas Movies
t-shirt.
I got this at Malton Fest.
One of the snacks was one of these RX bar.
It says on it, three egg whites, 14 peanuts, two dates, and no BS.
Can't possibly taste good.
But speaking of things that taste good,
I brought Sir Kensington's condiments
That I got on the airplane
Coming in here
Also my friends at Dollar Shave Club
Sent me a bunch of stuff
Including this amazing shave butter
So I brought you a
Thing of that
And a Douglas Movies sticker
And
From my recently completed tour of which
we still have plenty of
posters so we'll be selling those after
the show today but
I'm giving one away in the prize bag
it's a cannabis and cheese tour
poster with our friend
Dale Cheeseman who's
from Texas so all of that
is going in the prize bag
and I'll see you outside after the show for meets and greets.
And my other guests will be out there as well.
Please, everybody, give it up for Trey Gallion, Sean Mooney, and Anna Mazza. Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey Dallas
Alright
You know how I feel about you talking to the crowd
Before I introduce you Trey
Oh sorry
Yeah
You're gonna have to wait for a second. Damn it.
It's okay. Let's say hello
to first time ever
guest on the show.
It's Sean Mooney, everybody.
Hello there, crowd. How are you?
It's good to see you. Happy Saturday, huh?
Let's have some fun. I like it. I like it.
You're coming in hot. Hey, Dougie. I'm here
to have some fun. He invited me. I got to come deliver. Hi, Ducky. I'm here to have some fun. He invited me.
I got to come deliver.
I'm about to rock and roll.
Well, it's exciting that you're here because we're longtime friends.
And I got to know you in the Austin area where you lived.
And now you're based here in Dallas.
Yes, sir.
And what's going on?
What are you up to?
Well, I'm not really a comedian anymore, people, but I'm a businessman and I like it.
But I still can be funny and I can bullshit.
So that's why Dougie invited me to his show.
I think that's why.
I wasn't sure where you were at with stand-up comedy.
I didn't know that you were.
Yeah, you know.
I'll do a set here and there up here or at Addison.
You know, the old classics. You'll just a set here and there, up here, or at Addison. The old classics.
You'll just pop in somewhere and do a few minutes?
Yeah, and just do the old basics, the ones I know.
How long does that take?
How long of a set could you do?
Ten minutes, five minutes.
Do you want to run that shit tonight in my stand-up show?
I think everybody's here.
You're dying to see it, right?
You want me to come do five?
There aren't enough working retired comedians.
I could run home and grab a set list,
and I'll do the old classic for you guys.
You still have to get a set list, though?
Damn right I do.
Are you kidding me?
It's the same jokes you've been doing for 12 years.
Damn right, and they're all coming back tonight if you guys want to see them.
Yes!
Any other questions, Doug?
Oh, that was it, man.
That was great.
Her third time on the show, first time here in Dallas,
it's Anna Massa, everybody!
Hello!
I'm happy to be here.
It's really hot, and my Uber driver said that this is a cold day, so...
It's really neat that you guys talk like that.
It's really neat that you guys talk like that.
For here in the summertime, yeah, it is pretty pleasant out there today.
And super windy, so you get that nice hot wind in your face.
It's like, I don't know what's going to happen.
Is it going to blow away or am I going to melt?
I don't know.
It's a really fun dynamic you guys have in your city.
It is beautiful.
And I just want to get on the record of
the first time you were on the show,
I asked our mutual friend, Jeff Tate,
I double-checked with him how to pronounce your
name, and he
insisted that it was pronounced one
way, but now I've learned
that you're just
too nice to have told me, no, that's not
how I pronounce it. That was locker room talk, Doug.
Don't bring that up.
And I was kind of drunk, so I let you inside of my family name.
So why do you want me to say it?
You can say Mazza, because my grandpa was a dum-dum
that came over from Italy and went to Cincinnati,
and Mazza turned into mazza
because we have a dumb accent because we live
by the river, you know.
So it's really
whatever.
Okay, yeah.
You don't have strong feelings one way or the other
as long as it sounds approximate
to how it's spelled.
M-A-Z-Z-A. Yes.
I would answer to
Princess Farthead
and I'd still be like, yeah, what's up?
But yeah.
Matza. Mazza.
Hammer. Whatever you want.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
This is my impression of Jeff Tate
saying your last name when I asked
him how to pronounce it.
This is my impression of Jeff Tate saying your last name.
Okay.
When I asked him how to pronounce it.
Spot on so far.
Did you just say you're writing?
He does.
He laughs a lot before he speaks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're doing, you're nailing it.
And that's how that conversation went.
Mazza.
Mazza. You know how Jeff, every word he says has a lot of breath with it?
Yeah.
Mazza.
Here, let me try to do it.
Let me try to do it.
Like it's exhausting him.
I'm going to be Jeff.
Okay, you guys?
It's just Mazza, man.
That impression was even facial.
She looked like him.
Yeah, you got to close your eyes.
No offense.
No offense.
And smile real big.
Like you're one of those carnival things that you throw a ball at, you know?
And you're like, just a big toothy smile, you know.
Yeah, man, throw a beard on you? Perfect.
Yeah, and a Hawaiian
shirt, and I think
you guys would think I was Jeff.
Anyone listening
that's working on a name tag for one of the
upcoming shows, make one where
Anna's the man and Jeff's
the lady.
Move Jeff's beard
To Anna
I'm just saying
Make my dreams come true
And photoshop me as Jeff Tate
That's all I'm saying
Send it to me personally or put it on a piece of paper
It's whatever you want to do
It's up to you guys
Whatever you want to do
Free country
Also joining us for the first time,
he's been on the show many times, but this is his first
time making an appearance here at Hyenas
in Dallas, and he's going to be on
all my shows here all weekend
long tonight, and then tomorrow
in Fort Worth. It's
Trey Gallion!
What is up?
What is up? What is up?
Sixth coolest city in Texas
What?
I said it
You really feel that way or are you just trying to suck up?
You want me to list them?
Wait, so Dallas is number one?
No
Dallas is number one
Come on
Sixth coolest
Are you kidding me?
No
So it's Austin, San Antonio
You have to do all you want
Why are you listing off
It's Mexico without having to go to Mexico
How do you top that?
Exactly
Deserving of the number two
Miss Congeniality was filmed in San Antonio
Yes it was
That's the only thing I know about it
Okay then Houston
What is happening?
I thought the first thing you said
Was that Dallas was the best
No I said they're the sixth
He's not doing a good job of winning over the crowd here
Honorable mention
So then Houston
Then Fort Worth job of winning over the crowd here. Honorable mention. So then Houston,
then Fort Worth.
Yeah, right? Exactly. Right, okay.
Then San Angelo.
Then Dallas.
What?
Alright, just for context,
what's next after Dallas?
Oh, Lubbock.
Yep.
Yep.
No, I threw San Angelo in just to piss you guys off.
I couldn't get my mic back.
But now I have it In the hall as well
Yeah you're still above Midland
You got one clap
Cool
That's a Dallas pride there
Marfa
Is Marfa on there?
Oh yeah no
What about Irving?
No
Arlington Plano Oh, yeah, no. Okay. What about Irving? No.
Arlington.
Plano.
Mmm.
Now we're getting deep.
El Paso.
Wichita Falls. You love Mexico so much.
Yeah, but I'm more of a Del Rio than El Paso guy.
Okay.
You know, you can still kind of sneak around Del Rio-ish without getting shot.
But I think El Paso, you got a greater chance of getting shot.
Not on purpose, by accident, of course, but still.
Well, just the fact that they're letting you still speak and not just booing you out of the room.
It makes me think you might have to reassess and move Dallas up a notch or two.
Well, I grew up in Philadelphia, so that's the real problem.
Is that, see?
There you go.
Yeah, see?
Nobody likes AIDS.
Oh, it wasn't just AIDS?
It wasn't just AIDS?
Oh.
That was really funny I've been doing this podcast for over a decade
And the Philadelphia jokes have never stopped
Neither does AIDS
What's up you guys
See that's why you're a new favorite
Have her on the show again Get that anamaze back See, that's why you're a new favorite.
Have her on the show again.
Yeah.
Get that Anna Meza back.
Matza.
Matza.
Hey, I forgot earlier to do something from the corrections department.
Apologies to Gianni Paolo.
It looked like he was a no-show
on Douglas Movies in Los Angeles the other night,
but I had just written down the wrong date
So he'll be appearing as
Scheduled soon
Unless he cancels
Let's talk prize bag, Trey
What did you bring all the way from New York City?
Okay, so I brought
A T-shirt all the way from Reno, Tahoe.
A slightly used Reno, Tahoe Comedy Club shirt.
What does that mean?
You wore it a couple of times?
Yeah.
Yeah, you know I was born in Reno, Trey.
That's my hometown.
Yeah, I do know that, Sean.
Oh, I love that Mooney is here.
We're going to have some fun.
He used to work at the club
in Austin and do comedy
there, but we used to have a practical joke
where one time I spray
painted on his bumper his actual
cell phone number on his bumper
in spray paint and was like,
Horny, please call.
Is that what it says?
Something similar to that.
And they've been married to him.
He saran wrapped and flowered my car, which was a pro Is that what it says? Something similar to that I'm sure I got back to you Somewhere better No you did
You see he saran wrapped
And flowered my car
Yeah
Which was a pro move
And it was
It was a four door
So he saran wrapped the front
And the back doors
He was cool about it
With flower underneath it
So once you get the saran wrapped
You have to deal with the flower
It's really the windshield
That's the problem
It ruins your wipers
You gotta get new wipers.
Yeah.
Fucking dick.
All right.
Whatever.
And then I got a Trey Galleon
live at Creep Records
rolling.
Trey.
Trey.
Because my name's Trey.
You're not gonna have to
explain that joke
every time you come
on the show.
No, I feel like I do.
Okay.
Thank you.
And then a copy of my album on CD
even though nobody listens to
CDs anymore. But it's got cool cover
art and inside stuff too.
Yeah, it's fun to have a physical
copy. Exactly. You'll sign it after
maybe? I mean, we'll see.
We'll talk.
Maybe negotiate something.
Yeah, no, I'll probably sign it for you
if you just ask nicely.
Yeah, I mean,
that's a prize in and of itself,
a negotiation with Trey Gallion.
Hey man,
I can wheel and deal.
I watch American Pickers.
Really?
What's that?
That's about...
I'm still fixated on
inside stuff.
I swear I always thought it was about guitar players. Stop. Really? What's that? That's about... I'm still fixated on inside stuff.
I swear I always thought it was about guitar players.
Stop. Really?
I swear to you.
Isn't it on the country?
Well, it's on history, so you would still assume that it was.
Anna, what'd you bring?
Okay, I brought some stuff.
Not all that, but, you know.
Here we go. You got your own bag.
That's the start.
Oh, should I say their name?
No.
Sure.
Let's give them a plug.
What is it called?
Dallas Grilled Cheese.
That's it, right?
Dallas.
Dallas.
Growlers.
What Doug said.
Dallas Grilled Cheese.
District.
No. No, just Dallas Grilled Cheese. District. No.
No, just Dallas Grilled Cheese, right?
Company.
Oh, company?
Yes, company.
All right.
Okay.
Well, here we go.
I made a candle.
So I have an anecdote about this.
So I flew here this morning, okay?
And I have another prize that i thought was going to be a
complication but i almost got this taken away they thought it was a bomb um they they classic
candle bomb yeah you know how they said what is this and i said it's a candle and um so they were
looking at it and they said what is it made of and? And I was like, it's soy wax, you know? And then I, I was like, we have any candle maker TSAs here? And they're like, no.
But they said, what is it for? And I said, it's a gift. And they said, who's the gift for? And I
said, I don't know yet. Someone who's going to wish that they never met me.
And they said,
they said,
what?
And I said,
I haven't met the person yet.
And you really shouldn't say that,
um,
to a TSA person when they pull your shit aside.
Um,
so they had to,
they wiped the top of it.
So it's kind of sticky on top.
So whoever,
whoever you are,
I haven't met you yet.
Um, just burn it for like, you know, 10 minutes and then just like get over it you know um i smells good yeah it's the the
name is um this is a candle not a bomb so yeah it's got like pomegranates in it, which is ironic, you know, because that means, I think that means grenade in French.
Yes.
I call this part John right here.
He touched the wig, y'all.
Dude, I'm stealing the candle.
No.
He wants it.
Okay.
Trey gets to have it if he wants it.
That's the rule.
If anybody on the panel wants anything from the prize bag, they can just take it.
But again, Trey, you're not making any friends here in Dallas.
I'm not trying, Dallas.
Eat it.
Fucking whatever.
I'll win you guys back.
Just stay.
Come here.
Come back, you guys.
Fucking whatever.
I'll win you guys back.
Just stay.
Come here.
Come back, you guys.
I heard that you guys do things bigger here.
So I brought, it's a logo.
It's a donkey.
And it says big ass fans.
Because that's what you guys are.
And that's what we care about.
We like it.
We like it.
It's dirty. And you squeeze it for attention.
Yeah.
And maybe, I won't sign it, maybe Doug will or something.
Anyway.
I'll sign it.
I'll sign it Tony Romo.
Yeah.
Okay, I have a couple more things.
I am from Cincinnati and that is close to?
Kentucky.
Kentucky.
Correct. So I brought a post close to Kentucky. Correct.
So I brought,
I brought a postcard from Kentucky and it says Kentucky heaven on earth,
but then it just looks like a nightmare cloud.
Awesome.
That is the most awesome card I've ever seen.
Oh yeah.
Why would they do that?
That's really good. Why would they say that? That's really good advertising.
Why would they say heaven on earth and then this horrible lighting?
It's so funny.
I bought one as well, and I framed it.
It's fucking hilarious.
Oh, yeah.
You've got to send me one.
I want that.
That is so beautiful.
Whoever wins it, I want it.
I'll trade you.
Okay, and then the last thing.
I went to the Kentucky Downucky down under adventure zoo and i
like spooned a kangaroo it's on instagram it was fucking wait spooned you heard right you were
gonna glaze over that like a kangaroo or whatever kangaroo on the forehead and i spooned it like it
wasn't weird they let you do it you buy food it's it's not weird okay Okay, you guys? It sounded weird. So anyway.
How long did you spoon it for?
While you were feeding it?
Long enough to take a little nap.
Like, is it spooning if it's brief?
Yeah.
Let me take a little nap.
It's supposed to go to sleep, right?
Yeah.
I slept with a kangaroo.
I'm just kidding.
But I got a, this is a Swiss Army knife.
And this is the prize I was actually worried about through TSA, but they were like,
no mind the blade.
What the hell is this jar?
Are you kidding me?
I'm dead serious.
You know how many of my pocket knives TSA has
and they let you through with that thing?
Well, I think it's because it says sexy on the front.
Yeah, I love it.
This is a sexy pocket knife, okay?
Man, I should have waited for you to pull that out.
Your knives aren't sexy enough, Trey.
And again, I don't want to reiterate, I don't know who's going to win this prize back yet.
I haven't met you yet, but I'm sure, hopefully, that you're sexy.
So that's your name now.
Yeah.
That's a nice item.
Huh?
That's a nice item.
It is a nice item.
But I can see, I can't see anybody taking down a plane with this, but.
No, you can. But with a candle a candle, if you use it right.
The candle was, I mean, I was dealing with three TSA ages at one point, and they're all female.
And so we were all like, it's too many females to be talking to each other about a candle at one point in time.
I synced up with one of them at one point.
I'm on my period now. It was just crazy.
Anyway, that's my prizes.
Thank you.
What do you got for us here?
My prizes
kind of suck because I didn't
know I was supposed to get prizes, but I do have
a $10 gift card from Milk and Honey,
the ice cream store next door.
And that is accompanied
by a beautiful chocolate cone
that you
can put your ice cream in. And then
we have two onesies from
Grove...
Graph Labs. Graph Labs
out of New Jersey.
Some onesie hitters. They're out of
Austin, dude.
Poor tobacco. Where'd you come from out of New Jersey. Some onesie hitters. They're out of Austin, dude.
Poor tobacco. All right, they're out of Austin.
Where'd you come up with New Jersey?
I don't know, Trey.
I thought you said they were from New Jersey.
No, I never mentioned New Jersey.
I never mentioned New Jersey, ever.
Well, either way.
I mentioned Dallas before I mentioned New Jersey.
I screwed that up.
I apologize, crowd.
No, it's fine, man.
But then we also
Have a stolen shot glass
From where we had drinks
Before we came to the show
Yeah the grilled cheese
So
The grilled cheese cup
That you used
And it's kind of cute
You know
He did take a shot
Out of it
I love
It's got some style
I love all of this
We all watched him
Yeah I mean
I did the best I could
For a strip mall
That I just walked
Yeah I didn't know Dougie didn I did the best I could for a strip mall that I just walked from.
I didn't know, Dougie didn't even tell me I needed a party bag to bring,
you know? So that's pretty good.
I like that.
I don't ever want to hear the
Dougie didn't tell me to bring a party
bag.
I was unaware.
That's all I'm saying.
But you did a great job under pressure.
Nobody has to know. This is better than
what most people bring.
Some people bring
like a candle they made.
Yeah.
That took a lot of my time.
I want one of those candles.
They did smell nice.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a good candle.
I mix the oils
and I melt the wax
and I piss off my roommate
and it's hilarious.
Yeah, I know. you guys, calm down.
Geez.
Now, this part of the show, Sean, you'll go third, so you'll get an idea of what's happening.
Okay.
I'm going to start with Trey, because he knows what's coming.
Are you still dicking around with that candle?
Yeah, sorry.
I'm trying to figure out how to get it
through security without... It's pomegranate
eucalyptus and sandalwood.
Really? Yeah.
That would be sweet justice if you couldn't get
it through security.
You stole it from these nice people.
Why are they going to stop you for a candle?
Because it's, you know...
It's not a liquid, technically.
It's kind of almost...
It's going to be a liquid
when you set it on fire.
Yeah, it's above three ounces
and it looks like I could
hit somebody with it.
How did you get it here?
I looked her in the face and I said, come on.
It's a candle.
Sean, you were sitting here while she told us all about
that she just had to get it through TSA to get here.
No, I forgot it.
Sorry, guys.
It happens.
Come on.
My chances of actually winning today are...
Happy Father's Day.
Yeah.
All right, so, Trey.
Yeah. You know the question. Yes. Yes, Trey. Yeah.
You know the question.
Yes.
Yes.
What's your social security number?
Right.
So, last show I mentioned Behind the Curve and then realized that I hadn't watched anything since then.
But then I did because I was listening to the McKenzie Brothers comedy album and was like, I should watch Strange Brew.
And so I watched Strange Brew again
for the billionth time.
Wow, that really fired up this crowd.
You guys aren't into the Canadian comedy?
One person did quiet applause over there,
but it was very subtle.
Is that too old for this crowd?
What's going on?
Maybe.
Yeah.
No?
No, you're just not a fan of the movie? No, yeah, it's cool. It's just not something to get excited about. for this crowd? What's going on? Maybe. Yeah. No.
No, you're just not a fan of the movie?
No, yeah, that's cool.
It's not for everybody. There's a flying dog in it. You know, in a weird
sci-fi moment, you know?
Yeah, but then they also
drink the air out of the
bottles in the beer when they're underwater,
which is pretty clever. You gotta give it to
them for that, right?
Yeah, all right.
No, I'm not going to argue with you.
That's cool.
I get it.
I'm not going to try to sell you on it.
I just like that you're listening
to some old-ass comedy album
and that inspired you to watch an old-ass movie.
Yeah.
And then try to convince people
that it was worth your time.
No, I'm not trying to convince them
it was worth my time.
I don't think it was.
But you guys don't have to watch that.
I think there's better things you can do with your time.
But yeah, no, I do love those guys.
They were both great.
I wish Rick Moranis didn't do that weird retirement move,
because I bet you he's still really funny.
No, totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Anna, what was the last movie you saw?
Okay, so I've been really getting into Michael Douglas
lately. You guys know him?
Yeah.
I just
want to see what the big deal was.
You mean Kirk Douglas' son?
Yeah. He seems
cool. I'm going to check out one of his movies someday.
Is he related to Charlie Sheen,
Michael Douglas? No, why?
Alright, just asking.
So I've been getting into Michael Douglas.
It's been a really fun experience.
So the last movie I watched was Behind the Candle Opera.
Which was just Matt Damon also getting into Michael Douglas.
It was super fun.
And, okay, I have another one.
Can I do? Thanks.
I also still enjoy that you called it Beyond
the Candle, Abra.
It's behind. What did I say? Beyond?
No, I screwed it up.
But the pause between Candle
and Abra is what I enjoy.
Because you're so candle focused.
You don't care about candle Abras.
I've never met an Abra.
You care about the fucking candle.
Yeah, so you're like, behind the candle, Abra.
Yeah, I've never made an Abra before.
Has anybody here?
Didn't think so.
Candles are important.
Anyway. You didn't even wait for them to answer before you said, Didn't think so. Candles are important. Anyway.
You didn't even wait for them to answer before you said didn't think so.
Respect.
I respect for the craft.
All right.
So you have another movie you want to talk about?
Yeah.
Michael Douglas.
Something else.
Fatal Attraction.
Oh.
Yeah.
And I don't see what she did wrong.
I just, I don't get it.
She wanted him to answer the phone.
She stole his kid.
Oh, cry about it.
Like, I just don't.
You're even all right with the rabbit thing.
Yeah.
He wouldn't answer the phone.
We've all been there, ladies.
We've all killed a rabbit or two.
You know what I'm talking about.
It's because he had a pesky wife.
If I had a dollar for every boyfriend that had a pesky wife,
I would just be well off.
I don't know.
But I'm just saying, that was a good one.
Yeah, Michael Douglas has been in some good movies.
For a while there, he was in movies that were always like zeitgeist movies,
like something that was sort of going on.
He'd exploit it in a movie and just kill it.
And it's like most of the movies he's in,
these women are just like, they can't contain themselves around him.
It's like, oh, all right.
I mean, like, cool, but like, for sure.
I mean, chill out.
Like, Demi Moore.
I mean, he's a movie star.
But not in these movies, he's not.
He's just, what's the one with Demi Moore, Disclosure?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, like, she almost, mm-hmm, like,
is R-worded him, you know?
What?
What are you trying to do? We can say anything. What is R-word? Do you know what R-word is? She almosted him. You know? What are you trying to do? We can say anything.
What is R-word?
She almost raped him.
No, we can't say that.
That's horrible.
I didn't know what R-worded is.
I thought you were just going to rim-job it.
But not full on.
I thought you were implying that she got on him
and acted like a pirate.
That she R-ed him.
Get on me.
She's going to steal his booty.
But I couldn't believe it.
I've never been that
overcome with horniness.
I'm like, I don't take no.
You didn't want to rim job him
in Romancing the Stone?
I'm just saying, I think he's attractive,
but I'm not willing to throw it all away for Michael Douglas at all.
He's got...
Good news, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
You got a backup plan.
Yeah, I mean, I think I heard he's got like
fellatio throat cancer
that is not what it's called
mouth aids
fellatio throat cancer
I don't even know if that is a medical term
from giving too much fellatio to his wife
yeah he must be really good I don't even know if that is a medical term. From giving too much fellatio to his wife.
Yeah.
He must be really good.
The oral oopsies.
I don't know what it's called.
I like the oral oopsies.
We'll do that one then.
Thank you.
I think he just kind of offhandedly speculated one time that that's why he got throat cancer,
and then it became such a thing.
I'm sorry.
I read Yahoo News.
I'm not a cool person.
It's only for yahoos.
All right, Sean.
I think you get what's going on here.
Everybody's talking about the last movie they saw.
What would that answer be for you?
Man, I don't go to movies much,
but I went
and saw Rocketman.
Rocketman!
Fuck that thing.
What? I walked out in
45 minutes. Why?
I went with my sister. Not enough AIDS?
No, not enough AIDS.
I wanted to see drugs. I wanted to see part AIDS. I wanted to see drugs.
I wanted to see partying.
I wanted to see shit.
And it turned into a goddamn musical.
Has anyone seen the movie?
That's what happens when you do a lot of drugs, Sean.
It turns into a musical.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
I go to a musical.
Did you see Boho Rhapsody?
Yeah, Freddie Mercury got really sick at the end of that. Nobody knows what happened
because they never addressed it.
Because he was fucking around with Catherine Zeta-Jones.
He must have gotten
broke. Yeah, he got a case of the
Catherine Zetas.
Oops.
Did you see Bohemian Rhapsody? No, I never did see Bohemian Rhapsody?
No, I never did see Bohemian Rhapsody.
A musical like that
type of thing.
That was the one where the only time they sing
is when Freddie Mercury's on stage
or in a recording studio.
It's a movie about musicians, but it's not a musical.
Whereas Rocketman is a musical.
You weren't warned about that
ahead of time? Nobody mentioned it?
No man, me and my sister got high
And we were like
Let's go watch a movie
And we got like the 11am time
And we were just baked or shit
You know, a nice wake and bake
Did you think you were seeing First Man or 2001?
Did you think it was a movie about space?
I was hoping for a nice rock and roll,
toony, morning high fucking movie.
I think that movie delivers on all of that.
I mean, after 40 minutes.
I don't know what you got so mad about.
After 40 minutes, we looked at each other and we're like,
fuck it, let's get out of here.
I mean, we knew each other.
We're like, what the hell is this turning into?
Sorry, guys. I I mean that's my opinion
On what I saw
No that's alright
If you don't go to movies much
When the character starts singing
It can be jarring
What the fuck is this
Elton John is singing
No way I didn't know he had that many friends
That were in tone
How mad were you When you watched Willy Wonka the Chocolate Factory No way! I didn't know he had that many friends that were in tone.
How mad were you when you watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
The Loompas know this song?
No.
I gotta go, sis.
I just wanted to get high and see some chocolate.
I wanted to see some miners in a factory. All right?
Well, Sean, it sounds like you are going to kill it in the game portion of this show.
Chances are you're looking good for Trey.
Because, yeah, Trey finally has a competitor
that he doesn't have to worry about.
I win occasionally.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.
Occasionally means once in your goddamn life?
This could be my night.
I have...
Never mind.
No, if I had to pick a winner today,
we all know who that would be.
Tate's not here.
Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate.
Why?
Why? Why?
It's the one time I didn't have to hear that
Can I FaceTime him?
They went along with it
Oh, that'd be fun
Yeah, you guys want us to get Jeff on FaceTime?
Oh, yeah
Yeah, Trey, they like Jeff
Look, I'm fine with that
I just searched gross
But just know I will hug any of you
That want to hug me after the show
I will be perfectly yeah exactly
He better
He should pick it up
Yes not G off
It is G off
Don't call him that
He hates it
He doesn't like that
Yeah he does spell it that way It is Geoff Don't call him that, he hates it He doesn't like that, don't do it
Yeah, he does spell it that way though
I know he's in town
Which town?
Cincinnati
It's by the river
He won't pick up if he's watching a movie
Or cheers
He's probably at a movie
He's probably seeing Rock
He's probably Should I try it He's probably seen Rock. He's probably unavailable. He's probably.
Ah, should I try?
Let's see who he actually is.
Boo!
Oh, Jeff Tate.
Let's all call him.
Let's all call him.
Boo!
Jeff Tate.
Listen to Doug's podcast and say boo, Jeff Tate.
Where's the FaceTime thing?
Oh, there it is.
Oh.
Oh, there.
Just in case. You got him?
No, not yet.
We're falling apart.
I'm going to call him regular.
Why is he calling me FaceTime?
Because I never call FaceTime.
Yeah, that's what I'm hoping.
He'll be like, why the fuck was Anna FaceTiming?
And then when I do, he'll be like, well, better check this out.
Yeah.
He's going to answer for you.
Oh, unavailable.
I would be truly sad, you guys.
I'm not even going to lie.
I feel like he's watching Rocketman sitting there going,
this is a musical?
That movie sucks!
He's just not picking up.
Wouldn't that be, hello?
Hey, what's happening?
Oh yeah!
Dude, Trey and Anna and I are calling you
because we got into an accident and we're all gonna die. Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey and Anna and I are calling you because we got into an accident and we're all going to die.
This is awesome.
Oh my God.
Wait, is the show happening?
Yeah, there's a show happening
and everyone's laughing at you.
Yeah, because tell them why.
I'm killing for of my family friends.
You're with Troy?
No, you didn't answer
from Trey and
finally answered.
Yeah, Anil tried to call you and Trey
tried to call you and then you picked up when I called, so
I feel pretty good. Yeah.
Thanks, Jeff.
I didn't know that the other two tried to call
and also I didn't mean to answer. What do you call him?
He answered on accident you guys.
Alright we'll talk to you later you piece of shit.
Alright bye everybody.
Bye.
I mean No this is going to be fun
But know for the rest of the time
That my feelings are hurt
That's alright man
Yeah he didn't mean to answer any of our calls
Yeah I'm sure
That was pretty awesome though
Yep technology
It's really
Podcasts are really exciting now that you can make a phone call during a podcast.
But this is a part
of the show where I say, turn it off, Bert!
Let the games begin!
Alright, so Sean,
people, as you can see,
really went to some effort to make
some signs, name tags, call them what you will.
And what I need you to do is pick one that you like the most and then bring it back to your seat and we'll go from there.
Anna and Trey know what to do.
And while you guys do that, we'll go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Hey, everybody. no sponsors this episode,
so I'm going to do a couple more plugs.
June 29th, I'll be at the Improv in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
doing Doug Loves Movies at a very special time of 2 o'clock.
And then June 30th, I'll be at ucb sunset in los angeles as part of the del close marathon
dcm 21 they like to call it and that will be at 4 20. hope to see you soon back to the show we're back. I didn't even know.
That was an extremely mellow name tag selection process.
You guys were really chill today.
I don't know what it is.
Well, they weren't very rowdy.
Nobody was throwing donuts or anything.
But yeah, no, they were a cool bunch.
Everybody's seeing.
Are you guys really high, too?
Yeah?
Okay, cool. Right on. See, look guys really high, too? Would you choose? Yeah? Okay, cool.
Right on.
See, look, Dallas, I don't hate you.
It's just that I have to play like I do to keep all my Austin and Philly friends happy.
I'm kidding.
I hate you guys.
Just the Cowboys. Austin and Philly fans.
Your Philly fans aren't going to listen to this?
Yeah, they totally will.
Just out of hatred for Dallas.
What?
Yeah, they totally will.
Especially your fans.
They're going to, the movie fans,
they'll listen to this.
Look, I'm fine with you, Dallas.
I've had a lot of fun in this city,
but I really want to take a dump
through the hole in the top of Cowboys Stadium.
Right on the 50-yard line. That's one of my goals in life but I really want to take a dump through the hole in the top of Cowboys Stadium.
Right on the 50-yard line.
That's one of my goals in life is just to do that.
But that's it.
I don't, yeah, no, this works.
Yeah, that's fine.
You guys have way more Super Bowls than we do, that's for sure.
Yeah, they're very, now I was complimenting them on not yelling out during the name tag selection process,
and then you found out a different way to whip them up.
No, yeah, we could do the sports thing, but that's good.
You guys did steal your hockey team from Minnesota and won a Stanley Cup with them.
So that's fine.
You still got your Stanley Cup, but it's with a stolen team, man.
Yeah, you're all right with that?
See, because you're that kind of dirt balls, Dallas.
And I love you for it.
But you can't steal a team unless the team is willing to go somewhere, Trey.
Well, they got bought.
Yeah, and that's how it works.
It's all about money.
Yes.
Yeah, it's not about where anybody's really from.
Nobody on the goddamn teams are from the cities they play for.
No, they're all from fucking Canada
Playing hockey in Texas
So yeah
And then Canada just won their first NBA championship
With a bunch of American players
So now we know how that feels
Fuck
Look fucking sports
Yeah
Fucking sports
That's my next podcast
Points
Fucking sports
Speaking of points
All we do is complain about sports
Who are you playing for, Trey?
Alright, so I love this movie, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
But it's Tucker and Dale vs. Ava
Yeah
And I picked it without even knowing that it's me and you
She put you as the main one And and then I'm on there too.
Well, Tucker and Dale, they're both the main ones.
Yeah, right.
So me and you are Tucker and Dale.
But I didn't even realize I was on there until I got back up here and was like, oh shit, that's me.
I picked you, and you put me on there, and I didn't even know that you picked me before I picked you.
Yeah, word.
All right.
So, yeah, I'm playing for Eva.
Could you sit down?
Yeah.
Man.
I don't like it when my guests stand.
I'll give you the candle if I win.
Oh, that's nice.
You're not getting that candle.
If he doesn't, I'll send you one.
Oh, that's nice.
Such a suck up.
Yeah, she's a lady.
We can both make kids
if we want to.
So what lady are you playing for?
Well, you know, this is Joanne Bell.
What is it?
I can't read upside down.
Joanne Bell Creation.
Yeah, is that the Annabelle scary movie?
It's from the Annabelle The Conjuring universe
I've never seen it, don't like scary movies
But I do have a bit of an ego
So you, I mean, if you
It does look kind of like Anna when you get rid of the joke
Oh wait, there we go
It's got my name in it
And then I liked it
And then your face is absolutely fucking hilarious. In a nightgown
that is. It's Doug's face
and he looks like he
just saw a ghost.
That's the
face I make in most pictures because I
wish I had just seen a ghost
instead of just being asked for
to take a picture. And it has a ruler
which I appreciate because a lot
of the times it's like see these two kn which I appreciate because a lot of the times it's like, see these two?
Yeah, a lot of the posters are just loose.
Yeah, these knuckleheads are trying to figure out.
You like it on a stick.
And I'm like, I got a place for my arms now.
I can look.
And you can whip your kids with it.
I feel like I'm on a fence and I'm watching my cattle go by.
What do you guys got here?
My bison.
And I go, this is good.
This is good, darling.
This is my wife.
Can I order one less drink for Anna?
No, not yet.
We're not even into it yet.
So, yeah, go ahead and throw that on the ground.
You don't have to hold it up.
Oh.
So you want me to pitch my movie to you?
I meant the other way
Right
No I just want you to tell us
Who you're playing for
Alright I'm playing for
Coming to theaters
This summer
Wet hot summer
Amardeath summer
Starring Jane Garofalo
David Hyde Pierce
Molly Shannon
Paul Rudd
There's a lot of people in that movie.
You don't need to read them all.
Well, it's Mark Tolarious by Michael Ager of the New Yorker.
So you're playing for Meredith.
I did the best I can.
Meredith.
Meredith.
Yeah, great choice.
Wet hot summer, baby.
There you go.
Slow and steady.
You like that movie?
It sounds impeccable.
Even though I've never seen it,
but it sounds like it's going to be a winner.
And I don't think all those people are in it,
and that's a fake name for a movie.
No, that's a real movie.
Is it a real movie?
Yeah, and all those people
are really in it.
I'm seeing bullshit, man.
I thought these were all
fake movie posters
because I don't go to
the movies much.
Well, they are...
Well...
They're fake in that
I'm not in these movies.
But everything else
about them is
completely real.
It's called wordplay
and that's what this is.
Aren't you filming?
Yes, they're real.
I love you, Mooney.
Yeah, you're doing amazing, man.
Give it.
Whatever, man.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what you're talking about.
No, like I said, I think you're going to do great in this next part.
Yeah.
Oh, great.
What's the next part?
We're going to play some games.
And then Meredith or Joanne
Joanna or just Joanne?
Joanna.
Or Eva or Ava?
Eva.
Yeah, closer to evil.
Those three people are going to
they can win if the person playing on their
behalf wins today.
So just Joanna Bell or Eva.
And it's just Joanna.
Her name's not Joanna Bell.
Joanna Bell.
That is a good...
I haven't heard that one ever before.
That's not a bad idea.
Right?
Yeah.
Guess I gotta have a kid now.
Finally got a name picked out.
We're gonna start with a game called Purple Rain Man.
A.K.A. Goodwill Hunting Glorious Bastards.
Yes.
Shit.
Just so you know.
I'm ready.
So you know where this is going.
Yeah. So,
Sean.
Yes, sir.
We're starting with him?
Sean isn't going to go first.
I want to go first. Come on.
Challenge me. I don't care.
I don't care in this place. Come on, it's Saturday.
Because this is a game where everybody's in.
Everybody gets to guess all at the same time.
Okay, I guess you should learn the rules prior to stating.
Well, it's complicated, so I don't blame you
for not knowing all the rules.
But in this case, this is a game where
like the movies
it's named after, Purple Rain Man,
it's a mash-up title of two different movie titles that I'm looking for.
And I'm going to tell you the people that are in both of the two movies.
And then just guess as often as you'd like.
I think I'm good at this.
Get ready.
Just get in position.
Yes, Anna?
Anna, you want to clarify something?
I just didn't know if he needed
another example, but
let's go.
Oh, I don't mind another example.
Jeff Tate sent me a good one recently.
Dazed and confused
cars.
Dazed and confused
cars.
I need to know some person in there,
in between them.
Say what?
I need to know someone that was in both movies.
No, you just need to know that those were two movies
that the titles were smashed together.
Yeah, yeah, they were...
They're both movies.
You figured that out.
They were both movies.
And you were great as Slater.
All right, if you challenge me,
I'm sorry, crowd, I might screw this up,
but let's have some fun, all right?
Come on.
I mean, that's the best we could do.
That's the unspoken message of Dead Loves Movies.
We're going to fuck this up, but let's enjoy ourselves.
Well, it's all on me.
I feel like I'm on a goddamn game show over here.
Well, yeah, you are.
You kind of are.
You are, yeah.
You kind of are in a game show situation.
There are prizes, And you are competing
And there's trivia questions
And you want to try to win
So it's very game show like in that sense
Watch it be really good
No I know
That's what I was just thinking
If we lose to Moody
How bad is this going to be
Alright no we're good.
Hey, I bet I could answer more than y'all.
No, yeah, no, that's what I'm afraid of, dude.
I think you could answer more.
I think you could write more.
Let's go.
Come on, Dougie, let's hit it.
Yeah.
I don't know how this works, but we're going in head first.
All right, Ricky Bobby, let's go.
Yeah, baby. I love you. I this works, but we're going in head first. All right, Ricky Bobby, let's go. Yeah, baby.
I love you.
I love you, too.
I just met her today.
We broke bread.
We're brothers now.
It's fine.
He baked and forgot to shake.
All right, so.
It's shake and bake, baby.
Yeah, you got it.
You got the joke.
Yeah, I know.
And there's also a name of the car that I saw something...
What's the name of the car?
What car?
The name of the car that Ricky Bobby had.
Oh, oh, oh.
He had a cool name for it.
In Tall Day Good Nights?
Yeah.
His car had a cool name?
Yeah.
No points.
No points for that.
Who knows it?
Who knows it? Yeah, You're getting deducted by points
Because you don't know the answer to that
You know what? You can take all of my points
Alright, hit me
Let's go
I'm going to watch this
Let's do this
Believe that car name is a mystery
What's my question?
It's not your question
It's everybody's
What's the name of his car in Talladega Nights?
It's so funny
It's got a cool name, I know it does
Wait, you don't know it either?
No, I don't, but I saw it
But I was like, that's a cool name, man
Does anyone know it?
No, nobody does
I don't know how cool it is.
Dillow doesn't even know it.
I swear it had a cool name.
I could be full of shit and dreamt it.
But Dougie, come on.
Hit me with my questions.
All right.
Here we go.
Here's your questions.
What movie mashup title would you arrive at
if the third billed people in the movie were Neil Patrick Harris and Clea Duvall?
She, of course, has been great on Veep of late.
What?
No.
Who's she on Veep?
She's the lesbian secret service.
Oh!
Okay.
That helps.
Yes, I did. but now we're competitors.
I can't talk to you anymore.
I couldn't hear it from him.
It was a little muffled.
Dougie, can you repeat the question for me?
I'll repeat it for you.
I couldn't hear it from him.
Was that muffled?
Yeah, a little muffled.
I would say Neil Patrick Harris won the Oscar.
Close.
That was actually close.
That has not happened, but he is a great performer.
He's won the Tony.
That was a good movie, though.
All right, you guys, your chance.
Okay, everybody else, Sean's going to step out.
Well, how many questions do I have?
I thought they could answer next
Well they could if they knew the answer
But they don't
Yeah it's our turn now
No I think we should work as a team Anna
Just me and you
Against Sean
Sean against the world now
We're denied to get three questions in a row.
No, it's our turn now.
Yeah, you can't guess anymore.
No more guesses from Sean.
He did win an Oscar.
No, he's never won.
An Oscar was the name of Ricky Bobby's car.
We did it!
Yay!
Alright.
Second build.
And this same movie mashup title.
Right.
Rosamund Pike
and Angelina Jolie.
Huh.
Now are you doing it in the order
Can you give me a hint for Rosam the order? Can you give me a hint?
On Rosamund Pike?
Yeah. She's a pretty
blonde lady.
British.
But Angelina Jolie,
you know. Well, now, are you
saying the names in the order that the movies are?
Third build. These are the
second build? Yes.
Because you already have it.
You got it on the first names, didn't you, dude?
All right.
I don't know what you're talking about or why you're standing.
Because it's nervous energy.
I'm standing now, too.
I like it when you stand.
It's weird.
Tell me Rosamund Pike, please.
Who is she?
Give me something. Rosamund Pike. please. Who is she? Give me something.
Rosamund Pike.
She's in this movie that we're trying to get the answer.
Oh, damn it.
But these top-billed people, you're going to know these two people and then hopefully
put it all together.
But I'm also happy to move on to the next game.
So you guys are trying to find a connection between them.
Yep.
I mean, let's go.
You're doing it.
I got this figured out.
Ready?
Ben Affleck.
And
Winona Ryder.
See, people in the audience
know the answer.
Come on, Trey Come on Trey
Winona Ryder
Hang on hang on hang on
Cocaine
This turned into
War of the Sexes somehow
Oddly
Don't look at me like that
I didn't turn it into that
You need a movie that would have somehow. Oddly. Don't look at me like that. I didn't turn it into that.
You need a
movie that would have Neil Patrick Harris,
Rosamund Pike, and Ben Affleck
in it, in the top three
built characters. He wasn't in Starship Troopers
or Harold and Kumar.
That's how you're doing this?
Yeah, what else was Neil Patrick Harris in?
Ben Affleck hasn't been in that
Neil Patrick Harris has been in? Yeah, those are the only two movies he's been in. You need one that haven't been in that Neil Patrick Harris has been in?
Yeah, those are the only two movies she's been in.
You need one that they've been in together.
That hasn't happened.
Well, they didn't have any scenes together, but they are in it together.
And then Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie.
Yeah.
So it's like one of those love actually.
That should just be like you know the answer to that.
A movie starring Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie.
She won Best Supporting Actress
Oscar for her part
in the movie.
She wasn't in Beetlejuice.
Don't make me text this to Jeff, because Jeff
will just tell us the answer immediately.
That's what happened the last time
my panelists were all stumped by this game.
So what's our score? We're at zero
Yeah, you have zero
I have zero, you got zero
Everyone's at zero
Yeah, you're tied with zero
You're doing great
I'm tied with zero, come on, let's go, next question
But anyway, Gone Girl was a massive movie
And Girl Interrupted was a massive movie
And Gone Girl Interrupted is the answer
Welcome to Doug Loves Movies
Can I have a simpler question, please?
God damn.
Give me who starred in Catty Cat.
Oh, she's a pretty British blonde lady?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think I used all of those words.
No, that's fine.
Oh, my God.
All right.
We're all tied at zero.
Oh, my God.
It was so crazy, though, when Neil Patrick Harris slit her throat on that bed though,
or the other way around, that was crazy.
Yeah, see, I knew you knew it.
Yeah, and then she just like shook back her hair
and she was like, Ben, I'm coming home.
That was crazy.
Loved it.
Next game.
And then she had to like rub blood all over herself.
I watched that scene a lot.
Just because I'm really interested
in how they make movie blood.
It's like, how did they do that?
Yeah.
All right, so Sean is winning so far.
How did that happen?
Well, he's tied.
What's up?
Come on, crab.
It's a three-way tie.
It's a three-way tie at zero.
Come on, give me at zero. Come on. Give me
something simple.
Alright.
I wish I had gotten that call before
we put this whole show together.
Send me a nice, simple
question for the final round
because that's where the pressure really is.
That's what she said.
He knows how it works while also not knowing
how it works. It's amazing. That's the wonder of He knows how it works while also not knowing how it works It's amazing
That's the wonder of Mooney
Really impressive
Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway
Yes
Oh I suck at this one too
Whose tagline?
Alright so Sean we're going to start with you
Because you're the best loser we have
I'm a big loser and I like it
Yes exactly you're the best loser we have. I'm a big loser and I like it. Yes, exactly.
He's the fucking best,
you guys.
He fucking rules.
I just met her today over at
the grilled cheese restaurant.
The grilled cheese factory.
There was a good spot.
We drank bourbon.
Grilled cheese cake factory.
All right, let's go.
Whatever I'm doing.
What's this thing?
What am I going to do here now?
I'm going to say the name.
No, fuck.
I'm going to say The tagline from a movie
You know, it's like usually on the poster
Like Wet Hot American Summer
It's hilarious
It's fake
What's the one at the top of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil?
Evil just messed with the wrong hillbillies
You're not even paying attention to
Me describing how this game works
Read it again, Trey
Evil just messed with the wrong hillbillies
That's the tagline.
Yeah. For that movie. Yeah.
I'm going to say a tagline. You tell me what movie it is.
Yeah. It's that easy.
It's hilarious because
he's still not grasping
the need. Bullshit! I got it!
Let's go! Tagline city!
Come on! A pause break!
I'm going to get some of this stuff.
I'm going to get some of these though I'm gonna get some of these
I don't know if they're real
They're fake, whatever the hell they are
Let's go, Doug
I'm giving out your cell phone number
On the podcast
He just demanded an applause break
It's incredible
Hey, I don't know why you guys are dissing me
You haven't gone yet
Let's do a Doug gets to talk, then one of you talks, then Doug talks.
Let's go back and forth that way instead of you all just keep talking and I keep trying to get in.
That seems fair.
I'm going to run this thing.
How about that?
Yeah.
All right.
So I had a great fucking joke and you all just kept talking.
Sorry.
And now it's gone.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't even remember it.
Happens. Right? 5's gone. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't even remember it. Happens. Right?
5-1-2-7-3-1.
What is happening? What are you doing?
Why are you doing?
Just put your phone away and play the game.
I'm just about to lose
in front of y'all, whatever this fucking game
is going to happen.
Let's go, dog.
Alright, here we go
I have to know the tagline or some shit
Yeah
You gotta go
Oh, it's from this movie and then name the movie
Yep
Calm down
What is my thing?
I'm definitely not doing like cocktails with my guests before
the show ever again. Cocktails and dreams, baby.
Yeah.
Cocktail.
One.
You should have eaten more grilled cheese to
absorb all that bourbon.
Alright.
That's right, Iceman. Here we go, show me.
Two, Top Gun. That's not a Iceman. Here we go, Sean. Two, Top Gun.
That's not a tagline.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Now I'll try yours.
All roads lead to this.
Heaven?
But I need to know the movie?
Yeah.
I mean, all those...
Ah, shit.
Yeah, I'm fucked. Skip.
I like it. Just pass on it.
I'll just pass.
Is it Revolutionary Road?
No.
I was going to say more, like good guess,
but I don't even think that's a good guess.
Because all roads don't lead to that one road
That's in that movie
Oh
Sean says if Trey doesn't get it
He's got a rebuttal ready
So he's gonna disagree
With Trey's wrong answer
Alright Trey what do you think
All roads lead to this
Death race
Oh
That's almost a title.
Damn it.
Death Race 2000.
That is a title, but it's also not the title I'm looking for.
But also, you know, it's in the ballpark, so this is getting exciting.
That my guests are starting to get close to maybe, possibly, coming up with an answer.
But in this case, it, coming up with an answer.
But in this case, it's Fast and Furious 6.
Damn it, man!
Fast and Furious 6.
Now, the thing to keep in mind, Sean,
because I know you're really thinking about this.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes.
Is that a theme is going to emerge with all these answers.
Oh, they can all be quick.
They can all be quick or mad.
That's right.
All right, let's get it going.
Come on. He's got this.
He's got this.
That's good.
I destroyed that question.
I know, but you got to let Doug talk first, and then we'll banter.
Go.
Nice stab
at democracy there or whatever.
I don't know if that's democracy.
Yeah, no. That was totally the wrong word to use,
but you guys got the point. Diplomacy?
Yeah, there you go. Kind of, but he's not a
foreign entity. No, this is a benevolent
dictatorship for sure.
Benevolent.
Sean, what movie has the tagline,
and audience, please don't say it out loud
because you're all going to know it.
The Empire Falls.
It sounds like some Star Wars shit.
But I can't name which one it was.
I can.
Yeah, take my points. I don't Star Wars shit. But I can't name which one it was. I can. Yeah, take my points.
I don't give a fuck.
Is it Star Wars Revenge of the Sith?
Yeah, how am I supposed to know that?
Which one is that?
The sixth episode.
Is it Revenge of the Sith?
What?
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God, it's Star Wars episode six.
Sorry, sorry, yeah, I was confused, but that's wrong. Trey? Okay, shit. Oh, my God. It's Star Wars Episode VI. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I was confused, but that's wrong.
Trey?
Okay.
Fuck.
I hate saying the whole thing, though, because I...
Somebody now.
Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi.
That is correct.
Yeah.
Or just Return of the Jedi for real ass motherfuckers.
Hey, I apologize, crowd, for not knowing that answer.
And I want to personally say, Jeff, if you're listening to this,
your strategy was wrong, and he'll
know what I'm talking about.
Oh, is his strategy
know the answer?
No, he's like, yeah,
basically. He'll know what I'm talking about.
That's a fucked up strategy. You gotta
have a more interesting strategy than just
knowing the answer.
But, uh, this is where but uh all right this is where to me this is where the obviously there was the uh what you call it
the um ewoks were problematic yes but to me what really the moment i knew maybe george lucas you
know wasn't like the greatest guide for that particular ship even though he did create the
whole thing was uh originally it was going to be called
Revenge of the Jedi.
And then they changed it to Return.
Like, to make it
more family friendly
or something? Right.
Whereas Revenge sounds darker.
That would be a cooler title. Revenge of
the Jedi? Or the Sith.
Maybe it says too much? Like, did they get actual
revenge? Or if they just return then anything could happen. No, I think it really was because of the family. Maybe it says too much, like that they get actual revenge, where if they just return
then anything could happen. No, I think it really was
because of the family trying to make it more family
friendly or whatever. Yeah.
Don't care for it. Dumb. Me neither.
Anyway. Or episodes one through three.
I don't know what we're talking about.
I'll take a Jacob Sear off anytime.
I don't give a fuck.
Alright, we're back to you, Sean.
Trey's at one.
Trey, you got a point.
That's right.
So I'm pretty good.
All right.
I have another question.
Thank you, Dallas.
Oh, yeah.
It just keeps coming at you until it's over.
Give me something good, baby.
Give me something good.
I want something nice, easy, smooth.
Okay, that's probably not going to be any of those things.
This is a long one, Sean.
What movie had the tagline,
Wanted, two thrill-seeking reporters,
brains optional,
looking to dig up the story of the century.
For more information,
call... Dot, dot, dot. century. For more information, call
dot dot dot.
What number are you going to call?
Oh, I need to know the number?
Skip, skip, skip.
Can you forgive me?
If I
would have any...
I'm sorry, guys.
If I would have any...
That was a fucked up ad.
There's no way that that was a movie.
I would say...
It's real.
And I'll probably be incorrect,
but it's that movie with...
Fucking... If he just describes
it, I will give him the point.
You give me credit if I describe it.
It's Will Ferrell.
Nope. Damn it.
Alright.
I was thinking we were going
back to the fucking 90s.
Come on. It's, yeah, it could
be from any time we've been making
movies in the world.
Anna, what do you think?
Do you want to give me another clue, Doug?
No.
That was a lot. That pretty much
walked you right up to it.
It actually steered me off path.
I wanted two thrill-seeking
reporters. I mean, it straight up describes the movie.
Two thrill-seeking reporters,
brains optional, looking to dig describes the movie. Two thrill-seeking reporters, brains optional,
looking to dig up the story of the century
for information, call...
What's the number, Anna?
8-6-7-5-3-0-9-9.
Is it 666?
No.
That is a guess, Sean.
Do you see how guessing works?
I like it.
I like it.
Yeah, I fucked up.
I told you guys I was going to suck at this game.
You did.
You did.
Trey, what do you think?
I mean, I gave you it up front.
Sorry, I'm going to suck, but I'm trying.
And you know as an audience that I'm doing my best, all right?
So come on.
Hang in there with me, you know?
Your turn. Let's see some other. Yeah, come on. Let's with me You know Your turn Let's see some other
Yeah come on
Let's see somebody else
Try to answer
Ah eat shit
Trey
Yeah Trey
What do you got
I'm so excited
For him doing a set
Later tonight
I cannot tell you
Oh no that was for real
Yeah he's gonna do a set
Tonight
Alright
Can I go before him?
What time do I got to be back here?
Right away.
I don't know if you're going to have time to go home and find your jokes.
I love this guy.
I love this motherfucker.
Who doesn't love Doug?
Or movies. Trey, what's your answer?
We're running way behind.
We need to wrap this up.
Call.
Okay, you don't know it.
It's Transylvania 65000.
Yeah, it is.
Shit.
Sean?
Uh-oh.
Didn't she have a question?
You're all got a shot at it, and nobody got it.
So we're all at zero.
We're all moving on to the next one.
Trey still has one point.
All right.
All right, give me a question.
Come on.
I'm ready.
I'm going to get this one.
Come on, man.
I don't think you are.
Give me something nice.
The Wild West has met its match.
I should mention, I know Sean may not be able to pick up on this at this point,
but a theme emerges during this game.
So far we have...
Yeah, we got Westerns.
We have Fast and Furious 6.
All right, all right.
We have Star Wars 6.
The Wild West has met its match at something with...
Six.
All right.
Will...
Will Smith movie? Will Smith 6. Six. Will.
Will Smith.
Movie.
Will Smith.
Six.
Come on, dog.
The Wild West has met its match.
What about Will Smith? Oh, you're thinking of Wild Wild West with Will Smith.
No.
I was thinking of Will Smith and.
The movie Wild Wild West.
Yeah.
Incorrect.
Anna.
Why are you two talking to each other?
It's not how competition works.
Look, everything doesn't make sense.
Contestants aren't supposed to speak to each other.
What do you think it is, Anna?
Hateful Eight.
No. Trey? Hateful Eight. No.
Trey?
The Ridiculous Six.
That's correct.
Yeah!
Trey, too.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I love Dallas.
All right.
Oh, it's Six.
I can't believe I said that.
You guys are number six.
Remember when he said that?
She's still trying to kiss us.
I'm mad.
It doesn't feel good.
Here's the next one, Sean.
Alright.
Some missions are not
a choice.
Ah, shit.
Okay.
They're obviously going to space
And it's probably
I'm saying it's Ben Affleck
And uh
Armageddon?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying
Well, who was that
Bruce Willis
But you're right, that was
That really wasn't a choice They had to do that
Yeah, they're going to space
At least that was close, crowd
I got it, I got it
Here we go, Anna
Sixth Sense
No
Trey
Watch this, Mooney
Armageddon Six
No, it was Mission Impossible Six
But there's gotta be more to that title
No it's
It's preloaded
Shut up
Mission Impossible
Reunion
And it's all the bad guys to get together
Mission Impossible
This is impossible to have six of these movies
No that's not it
Spit
It's like you're
MI6
What?
No
It wasn't just called MI6
No
It's called Mission
Colon
Impossible
Dash
Six
No
Shit
They don't have numbers in the title
That's the twist Is that this is the sixth one But the Mission Impossible movies Dash. Six. No. Shit. They don't have numbers in the title.
That's the twist, is that this is the sixth one,
but the Mission Impossible movies after three don't have numbers. That's negative for numbers.
That's worse than the Star Wars shit.
All right, so it's Mission colon Impossible dash...
Fuck. Deathly
Hollows.
I mean, I'll give it to her.
I'll give it to her. Okay, Anna gets a point.
Damn it!
All right, back to you, Sean.
No, wait, what was it really?
What was the real title?
Oh, yeah, I guess I should tell you.
It's Mission Impossible Fallout.
Oh.
Oh, my God. Yeah, I don't know why I said,
oh, like I would have got it eventually.
I was going to tip my tongue.
Do you know any of the other ones, Trey?
No.
It's Mission Impossible, Armageddon.
Five is Rogue Nation.
Four is Ghost Protocol.
Three is three and two is two.
It's that easy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you've been educated.
Thank you.
Now you know all the Mission Impossible movies. Ghost Protocol, that easy. You've been educated. Thank you. Now you know all the Mission Impossible movies.
Ghost Protocol.
Rogue Nation.
You can't even repeat it back right away.
Star Wars Rogue Nation.
Rogue One Nation.
Yeah.
All right, here we go, Sean.
All right, question.
Here we go.
Pressure's off of you, Sean.
There's no chance for you to win today.
Yeah, no chance.
Well, three's up, two's zero, and then you got...
Yeah, and Anna's got one, so like I said...
Anna, you got one?
There's no way...
You're goddamn right.
Yeah, I gave her one for no reason.
All right, that's fine.
All right, Sean, so...
Let me get a point.
Yeah, you might as well get a point.
I'm trying.
I thought you were putting double point round.
What do you mean?
Double point round
That round doesn't exist
Oh damn it
I know who did that
You could get close to caught up
If you get this one right Sean
Give me something at least simple
What movie had the tagline
He's a hero, he's big
And this is his sixth time
Being a hero, he's big, and this is his sixth time being a hero. That is big. What do you think
that is, John? If you had to guess, let's say you had a microphone and you had to guess.
You said that he's big,
he's a hero,
and this is his sixth time
being a hero.
What movie is that supposed to be?
God, I should have just gotten so high.
Ah! That's what it is? God, I should have just gotten so high.
Oh, that's what it is?
But I reiterate it correctly.
You did reiterate nicely.
Like, if there was a show called Reiterate, you would do great.
Or something.
Is it not?
Am I way offline?
Which one?
What?
I said it sounds like
something about
Andre the Giant
or something.
Yeah.
Does it sound to you
like some sort
like it's about
a big hero?
What is it?
Like the Hulk?
I mean
fucking I don't watch movies.
I don't know why
he invited me here. Yeah, you don't you don't watch movies. I don't know why he invited me here.
Yeah, you don't have kids.
No, I don't have kids.
Yeah, it's a kid's movie.
It's not.
He's big.
Oh, it's Shrek.
Yeah.
One point.
One point.
Yeah.
That's right.
One point for Sean for Shrek 6.
Yeah.
Damn right, baby.
Anna, what's your guess?
No, I'm not saying it because you're being an asshole.
Avengers 6.
Good luck.
Big Hero 6?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
Oh my God, really?
He was saying big, 0 and 6 over and over again.
I even got it.
That's not even what the tagline is.
I just did that to give one to Sean.
All right.
He told me we should end women's
suffrage off mic.
Alright, let's try one more.
I mean, we already have a winner, but let's try
one more. Well, Trey, don't we get double bonus
points? No. Okay,
500 points for this one.
We all get one question.
Whoever gets this one gets
all the points. Oh, yeah.
This is the winner.
This is where I come alive. Oh, yeah. And this is the winner. Oh, my God.
This is where I come alive.
No, it's not.
Let's see what you got.
All right, here we go.
Here we go, Sean.
The final bell is about to ring.
I'll even accept something that's close.
So that was the statement.
Yeah, some call them taglines.
Other people call them statements.
It's kind of a mission statement.
The final bell is about to ring.
And that's a movie clip.
Stop miming boxing.
All right, skip.
Me.
Ready?
Rocky 6 No, no, Trey
Uh, Reed
God damn it
Rocky Balboa
Is that it?
It's called Rocky Balboa
Yes it is, damn it
Oh damn it
Grab your sign.
It's all the points.
Anna is the winner.
What just happened?
It was 500 points.
Oh, my God.
Abe, I'm sorry.
Yeah, all right.
That was solid.
Yeah, fuck you. No, I can't complain, whatever, that was fair and square
I don't think we should end women's suffrage
Like he said
Alright you guys, we gotta get out of here
That's never happened before
We never had a
Hey, happy anniversary
A gay mender on whose tagline is it anyway?
But Trey, what do you got to plug? Oh, uh Happy anniversary. A game ender on whose tagline is it anyway?
But Trey, what do you got to plug?
Oh, I'll be at Skank Fest too.
And then it seemed like there was something else.
Whatever.
I don't want to take up a bunch of time. Oh, my new album.
Live at Creep Records.
It's on all the stuff that you listen to.
Or you can buy it through Creep Records website and get a rolling tray.
Which I have some extra rolling trays.
If anybody wants to buy one after the show, we'll haggle.
Love it.
Yep.
Anna?
You can find me under a bridge.
Just hanging out.
What?
No, I'll be at Go Bananas.
I'll be at Go Bananas mid-July. A weekend.
I'll be at Go Bananas mid-July, a weekend. I'll be for Greg Stone, if you know him.
You're going to open for him?
Someone went, aw, yeah, I know.
It's his last show.
No, but that's it.
And then I post all my shows on Instagram.
Follow me on Anna the Mazza on Instagram and Twitter.
Okay, I love you.
Perfect.
Hey, I'll just be
around Dallas, Texas.
I'm heading all over the place
to make
the world a better place.
I will be promoting my wet
hot America death summer
thing
that is going to be happening
in theaters soon.
So I would
take a look for this.
You tell them, you know,
Gene Golofko, David Pierce,
Molly Shannon, Paul Rudd,
Christopher Meloni or Slow Walker.
You probably will get in free. I've been Sean
Mooney. Thank you. Yes, Sean Mooney,
everybody.
I'm doing stand-up at the Funny Bone in Dayton on July 2nd.
I think Trey might be there, too, for that one.
One more time for all my guests.
Trey Gallion, Enemaza, Sean Mooney.
We did it.
As always, positive energy.