Doug Loves Movies - Annie Hardy Guests
Episode Date: March 18, 2007Doug welcomes singer-songwriter Annie Hardy of Giant Drag to the show to discuss watching movies on planes, the smoke break dilemma, and her all-time favorite movie, 'Newsies.'See Privacy Pol...icy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hello and welcome to the 21st episode of I Love Movies on HeadHellComedy.com
coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles in front of a live audience.
They do lots of fun shows here at UCB,
including my own interruption show on the last Thursday of every month.
So for more info, go to ucbtheater.com.
Now, as a movie lover, I just stumbled onto something recently,
and stop me if I've told you guys this before, but you know Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?
I just recently realized that Doc, one of the dwarves, is a jerk.
And here's why I think so.
And here's why I think so.
He's a doctor,
and he lives under the same roof with a man named Sneezy.
And he doesn't even offer to help him
with his problem.
Hook a brother up with some allergy meds, yo.
And don't get me started
about sleeping.
He could use some help too.
An institutionalized dopey
before he hurts himself
or someone else.
Ends up on Dateline
talking to Chris Hansen.
Doc should change
the middle letter of his name
to an I.
My guest today is the opposite of a dick
Whether she is talking or singing
she's a joy to listen to
Please welcome half of the band, Giant Drag
Annie Hardy, everybody
Let's hear it for her
Come on up.
The Price is Right?
Yeah, I feel like I'm on The Price is Right.
Oh, because I said come on.
You came from the audience.
I realized that
I have really bad vision, especially
in the dark, so I didn't want to walk back
around and come out of the car.
Yeah, it's the treacherous back there, so you did the right thing.
Yeah.
That's how all the contestants on Price is Right feel.
They could run back.
They could go around the long way,
but they just run right up the aisle and onto the stage.
Plus, they're so excited.
Yeah, like too excited to walk behind flats and the backdrops
and fucking Plinko is back there.
You might run into Plinko.
Yeah.
First of all Annie
What
I've heard rumors about Giant Drag
What's going on with Giant Drag
Micah quit the band
And it's just the two of you right
Yeah so I'm not one half
Of Giant Drag I'm one
Whole
So are you doing the drumming
And the things that he used to do?
No.
It's just kind of a solo act?
Yeah, for now.
I mean, I'm about to make a new record, so...
You sound pretty pumped about it.
Oh, yeah.
I've never been more excited in my life.
Yeah, I'm going to figure out what I'm going to do about a drummer after I make the record.
I mostly just don't want to think about it.
Do we still like that guy?
Yeah.
It was amicable?
Yeah, it was.
I don't have to give him dirty looks when I see him?
No.
You can slap him a little bit.
Well, I do that anyway.
But don't take it
too far. I don't know. This business
sucks. I was just talking
to my manager today, and I
found out that my lawyer
takes 5% of
all of my income,
even from touring. It's like... All of it, yeah.
What the... Why didn't anybody
tell me this before I signed the contract?
You should be doing more things that lead to litigation
Just to make him work for his 5%
No shit
Break more shit when you're on the road
I'm going to fucking kill people in the audience
Because he's lazy
Sitting on his ass while I work my balls off
While you're out on the road not killing people?
I know.
It's bullshit.
All right.
So I understand exactly why Micah quit.
He's got life skills, like on computers, and he can make real money.
Nobody takes 5% of computer work from somebody.
You don't need a lawyer for that.
Like the government takes money,
but that's it. So he really just said he was tired of touring and being in a band and it's just going
to be in computers. Yeah. And you. Yeah. Spending all his time with you. Yeah. Because there's only
two of us, so we're like always around each other. Right. The only way it could have been worse is if
we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Then we really would have hated each other. But we were just friends.
And we got so sick of each other.
So more money for me.
So you're just really going to hire people to back you up?
And you're just basically going to be the band?
Yeah, because then I don't have to give them my publishing money
that's already going to my lawyer,
my managers.
And I don't have to get
heartbroken when they quit the band
on me.
Just replace them.
There's another bass player,
to the left, to the left.
Yeah, like that Beyonce song,
Don't Think You're Irreplaceable.
Which is so romantic.
Such a wonderful thing to say to a fella.
I know.
Don't think I can't have another one here in five minutes.
Yeah.
Oh, well, okay, then do that.
I'll see you later.
That song should end right there.
Oh, you say you can replace me immediately?
Well, then, okay.
Sounds good.
Sounds like a win-win Let's talk movies
Alright, I'm scared
Scared to talk about movies?
Yeah, I really have not seen a lot of movies
In your life or lately?
In my life
I've never even seen Star Wars
I think we talked about that before.
Yeah.
As a young person, when I could have been watching Star Wars and The Godfather,
I was watching that movie Newsies 17 times.
Literally.
Now, did you know Newsies was awful and that's part of why you loved it,
or did you just love it?
I loved it.
I really loved it.
I mean, I was 12, but still, I loved it.
Robert Duvall with his crazy accent?
Yeah.
Came in and out?
And then, who were the Newsies?
Do you remember any of the names of the Newsies?
No, I can't remember anything.
There's a bunch of young actors that are in stuff still to this day, a lot of them.
Yeah, like the guy that was in...
Wasn't Ethan Hawke in it? I don't think so so but that guy that's in American Psycho Christian Bale
yeah he's in it he's hot yeah he's good well have you seen Batman
begin I saw three movies in the theater this year and that's more than I've seen
in five years wow this is this is going to be...
We should have discussed this before I brought you on I Love Movies.
Because that's all we talk about here on I Love Movies.
I like movies, but I love television.
So I watch movies on television.
I'll tell you, I have a bone to pick with movies right now.
And that's that there's several TV shows that I watch every week.
That I just sit there going, this is better than movies.
I know. Heroes, for one,
is better than movies.
It is. Right now, anyway.
It's better than Ghost Rider.
Might not be better than Spider-Man 3.
We'll see. Well, so what are the three movies
you've seen in the past
year or so?
I saw them all
in a month.
You just went crazy one month.
Yeah.
It was...
Say them slowly. I want to comment on each one.
Jackass.
Classic. So much fun.
And I'm guessing one of the other two was Jackass 2.
Oh no, it was Jackass 2.
These are the ones I saw in the theater.
You've seen both Jackasses in the theater? No, no.
Just the second one. Oh, the second one. Okay.
The Departed.
Okay. I like that one. Yeah, that's good.
And The Illusionist,
which I thought was like a big pile
of dog semen.
Stupid! Wasn't there another
movie just like it?
About magic and shit like that?
Yeah, there was the prestige.
Yeah.
Where supposedly at the end,
the last part of a trick is the prestige.
But to me, I never understood that concept.
I thought it was called the ta-da.
Yeah.
Or the I'm fucking awesome and you're a bunch of dopes
or just like
a tiger comes out
oh this is when the tiger
comes out
it's my favorite part of all magic tricks
but that's a movie about
the prestige is a couple of magicians
that are like in a magician war
and they're fighting
each other and somehow the invention of
electricity plays a big part in it
there's a guy named Tesla
who's
I thought when I heard they were going to go visit Tesla
I thought they were going to go see the band
Tesla
so I thought that's going to be interesting
because those guys were not born for another
for a long time
and
and the illusionist and there was like,
also Scoop had a magician in it, and people dying,
and then there was another one.
It's so weird how movies work in these waves of like,
of all studio executives just sit and pretend
that there's not other movies that are the same thing,
like all the Capote movies.
But the illusionist bothered me just because that there's not other movies that are the same thing, like all the Capote movies. But
The Illusionist bothered me just
because
he was doing
stuff about bringing people
back from the dead.
So there was never a point where he's like,
let me explain how I've been bringing people back
from the dead.
It's a projector and an actor friend of mine.
That never comes up because he's really bringing people back from the dead. I know. It's a projector and an actor friend of mine. You know, like that never comes up
because he's really
bringing people
back from the dead.
So that pissed me off.
But that girl wasn't dead.
So how did that work?
In that case,
they just pretended
to bring her back
from the dead
even though she wasn't dead.
I hate when that happens.
I hate being confused.
You were confused a lot during that one?
Yeah, I think it's because I wasn't really paying attention.
I was so bored, and whenever I go to the movie,
this is why I don't go.
I don't like sitting in a chair for two hours that's not comfortable,
and I don't like not being able to smoke a cigarette.
They won't pause the movie for you.
So you can like go
and come back.
So that's why I watch, I wait
until a movie comes out on DVD
or better yet on HBO
and watch that shit for free.
What about, what about on
what about on an airplane?
Oh. I watch a lot
of movies on airplanes.
I do too. That's where I actually watch
most of my movies.
Because you can't get up and smoke anyway.
Yeah, I chew Nicorette gum.
But the only problem is
I'm so fucked up on
sleeping pills that I
gnaw it out
and I miss
a lot of the movie.
Unless it will be like
I'm on Virgin
Atlantic for the
first time in a long time and then I get
so excited I'll stay up all the
way from the UK to America
just watching shit
because they have the best entertainment
They have a lot of stuff on there that you can watch.
They really do.
But when everybody has to watch the same movie,
and it's not even in the back of your seat,
it's on a fucking TV screen for the whole plane,
it's like...
People don't put down their shades,
so there's light shining off it.
So rude.
Jerks, we're here to watch a movie
not go get somewhere.
I know.
Oh,
I hate people so much.
So I was just on a plane
with a buddy of mine
and we were in business
and
together and on the plane
and we
they gave you those
your own
they go, do you want a selection of movies to watch and your own movie player? And they give you those your own, they go do you want
a selection of movies to watch and your own movie
player and they give it to you
and then you select from a
bunch of movies and my friend
and I both had not
seen Idiocracy
and that was one of the movies
one guy loves it
so
we both put it in our separate machines,
but he's sitting right there and I'm sitting here.
So now, like, he paused it at one point,
and I was like, well, I don't want to see what happened five minutes,
you know, a couple minutes ago happening, you know, in my periphery
while I'm watching what's happening now.
So I
paused it and waited for him to come back
and then spent
a good 20 minutes trying to sync it up
because I didn't like the fact that they were a little off
and it looked like I was
watching a badly dubbed foreign
movie where they used the actual actors
to dub the language and still
didn't get it right.
So it was frustrating.
But the movie was an okay movie.
Yeah, I saw that one.
On a plane?
No, at my dad's house.
Where there's an outside smoking area.
Yeah.
So I missed a lot of, about five minutes.
Oh, everyone else just kept watching whenever you'd go to smoke?
Yeah, it was rude.
I'll say.
It was my sister.
I have a half-sister who who's like 37 And it was her birthday
And she's also like a born again Christian
And kind of dumb
So the whole thing just kind of went over her head
So she doesn't know how to listen to a podcast
That you would be on
No thankfully
She can't even figure it out
She has the internet or anything
No internet?
I don't think so
I mean she learned how to do emails recently But I don't think so. I mean, she learned how to do emails recently,
but I don't think
she can, like,
afford the internet.
She lives in, like,
Temecula
in the government housing
where there's, like,
it's nothing but
AIDS patients,
schizophrenics,
and psychopaths.
And my sister.
Or as I like to call it,
a dating pool. Yeah. Place that I I like to call it, a dating pool.
Yeah.
Place that I would like to go to.
I'd like to meet some of those folks.
So, are there any movies that you are eyeballing?
Like, thinking about forcing yourself to go and not have cigarettes for a few hours?
Yeah.
Zodiac's two hours and 40 minutes long, so I bet you can't even think about that.
No, too long.
Actually, I did want to see that one.
It looks good.
There's one other movie that looked like... Oh, let me just say the great thing about Idiocracy is that if you left for five minutes and came back in, everyone was still stupid.
Yeah.
There was not that much to catch up on.
Right.
You're like, Dad, is everybody still dumb?
Yeah, they're all still stupid.
Okay, got it.
My favorite part about that movie
was how Fuddruckers
slowly turned into buttfuckers.
Yeah.
That was...
There were several steps in the evolution.
Yeah.
I like that.
This title just got sillier and sillier
until it just finally went,
buttfuckers.
It's what everybody, every stupid person has thought it said anyway. This title just got sillier and sillier until it just finally went, Buttfuckers.
It's what every stupid person has thought it said anyway.
No, that had some really smart, dumb stuff in it.
I liked it.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
Yeah.
So, I'm sorry I interrupted you,
but what was a movie that you're looking forward to trying to see?
Shit, I can't remember.
I saw the commercial for it today.
Could it be The Hills Have Eyes 2?
No.
Which I think should have been called More Hills That Have Eyes.
I agree.
What about 300?
I don't know what that is.
There's one guy clapping over there.
Or lady.
What did you...
Did you see it?
300?
No, it's not out yet.
It's not out yet
You're clapping wildly for a movie that
You haven't seen
It does look like it might be cool
But it also looks like it might be
Two hours of people yelling Sparta
And stabbing each other
And not just stabbing
Like leaping stabbing
You're a pussy if you
kill a guy from close
range. You have to dive
at him from a distance
and land the dagger
that way. Well, I'm glad you're excited about
it, but please don't clap
anymore for things you haven't actually seen.
It's like if I
mentioned a city and you start clapping wildly
Are you from there?
Nope, but I've heard of it
Gonna go check it out someday
Looking forward to visiting
What about The Last Mimsy?
What?
Yeah, exactly
You're just making shit up
No, there's a movie called The Last Mimsy
What the fuck is that about?
I don't know.
I've seen the trailer and I still couldn't tell you.
It's kind of like The Prestige, but set in modern times and with children.
I think I'd be too embarrassed to buy a ticket to that.
I'd like a ticket to The Last Mimsy, please.
And make somebody else go buy it for me.
I don't know what a mimsy is, but whoever's making The Last Mimsy
clearly does not have their eyes on a sequel.
Totally.
We're going to call it The Last Mimsy.
That's pretty ballsy.
They can make Mimsy the beginning.
That's true.
They're doing that now.
Mimsy Rising.
The Resurrection.
There's a lot of ways they could go with it.
You're right.
They could make sequels.
All-time favorite movies, Annie, besides Newsies.
I don't want to hear about Newsies anymore.
But I figured out also you like Newsies because you're confused easily.
And in Newsies, they were singing the headlines often.
Right.
And so you were just totally up to speed on what was happening.
And I can still remember the songs.
I think it's just because I really liked music.
So I was like, hey, these guys are in a movie and singing.
Why don't you cover a song from Newsies?
They're a little bit...
Pricey?
Yeah, a little bit gay.
It's a Disney movie.
I don't think people would follow what I was talking about anymore.
Why is she releasing an album
full of songs about newspapers
and being the king of New York?
I didn't want you to do a whole album.
Just one song.
I've always wanted to do a whole album.
Just call and leave it on my voicemail.
Okay.
That'll be good enough.
So you have an all-time favorite movie?
Like a one or two cigarette movie?
Like it was that good?
I really like Almost Famous.
Actually, I liked that up until...
Where they lose you.
A boyfriend.
And I watched the movie while he was on tour.
And I was watching all these dudes getting blown by groupies.
And I was like, this is not the best time to watch this movie that I like.
Again, that movie is kind of like Newsies.
It's got music in it.
Fever down.
And you think your boyfriend at the time was just a pushover for a girl who walks into
a room and yells, does anybody remember laughter?
Yeah.
That was the worst thing I'd ever heard in a movie.
He's just a pushover for a girl who walks into a room.
And does all the, she did all the flight attendant language.
Yeah.
I like stupid movies.
But that movie has, there's parts of it that I really do like.
It's one of those movies where I get extra mad at the things I don't like in it.
Because I'm like, why did that have to happen?
Why did they have to sing Tiny Dancer on the tour bus?
I loved it.
Why, when they thought the plane was going to crash for 20 minutes, did one guy have to finally go, I'm gay?
Everybody's confessing things.
You're just like, okay, here it comes.
It took place too long ago
for that guy to even have been gay.
They didn't have gays back then.
It's true.
Have you been in any movies?
I was in a commercial for the movie Orange County.
You were like someone coming out of the theater raving about it?
No.
They made commercials for the movie, but that part wasn't in the movie.
I'm sitting in a classroom.
We don't have any scenes we could put in a commercial.
This is fucking shit on ice. It was really weird.
Let's shoot some scenes and show those
in the commercial. Yeah. With, like,
Colin Hanks or somebody? I was sitting right next to
him. We were in a classroom
and I was sitting at a school desk. This is
when I did extra work for money.
And he was sitting
next to me. I did extra work for the love
of it
it is really good
I mean some of my greatest achievements
being in a Vines video
being on
the first
show of that 80's
show which I don't even know
if it had a second show it was so horrible
they did a few
yeah but uh so you're in a classroom with Colin Hanks.
Yeah, and the guy that wrote that movie.
Right.
The chugging butt guy.
Weird looking dude.
Yeah, his name's Mike White.
Yeah.
I thought you were just saying he's white.
Yeah, he's white.
And he played Ned Schneebly in School of Rock.
Right.
He was at the front of the classroom, like, talking, like, just basically making up jokes.
And then it was this thing, like, all right, guys, who is your favorite friend?
And Colin Hanks, like, raised his hand.
He's like, Chandler?
Sorry, that's wrong.
And then other people were raising their hands going, Jennifer Aniston, that's right.
I don't know.
It was kind of like idiocracy, except saying that, you know, Orange County, all they care about is famous people and stuff.
I'm from Orange County, so I know.
So that's all they care about
No all they care about is
Doing drugs and
Fucking all the time
I guess it depends
Which part of Orange County you're from
I'm from South County by the
Nuclear power plant
Oh yeah
That's the drugs and fucking
Yeah the beach Those commercials sound great PowerPoint. Oh, yeah. So that's the drugs and fucking district.
The beach.
Well, those commercials sound great.
Do you actually have a copy of the commercial?
I do.
It's extras on the Orange County DVD.
Oh, it's on the DVD?
Yeah.
I'm going to check that out.
You should.
That's awesome.
Let's play the Leonard Moulton game before we wrap this up.
Okay.
You saw last week's show, right?
So you kind of have an idea how it works.
Yeah.
I'm going to pick a movie and tell you what year it came out
and then see if you can figure it out.
And it's especially fun playing it with someone
who sounds like they haven't seen very many movies.
I know.
I'm sure I'm going to do a good job.
So I can totally burn you.
Totally.
All right. So this gets one and a half stars.
Came out in 1992.
I was 11.
Max Casella is in it.
Don't know who that is. Luke Edwards.
Never heard of him.
David Moscow.
Nope.
Charles Chaffee.
Nope. Kevin Tye. Who's that? David Moscow Nope Charles Chaffee Nope
Kevin Tye
Who's that?
Michael Lerner
Never met him
Anne Margaret
Heard her name, she the Queen of England
Robert Duvall
Can't place his face, heard his name
Bill Pullman Think I know who that is Robert Duvall. Can't place his face. Heard his name.
Bill Pullman.
I think I know who that is.
And I think this might give it away.
Christian Bale.
Snap.
What year?
92?
92.
You saw it 17 times.
Oh, is it Newsies?
Yes, it's Newsies.
Could not have thrown you a softer ball.
It's true.
To me, those people are their characters' names and not like actors.
Ready? Here we go.
What is Christian Bale's character name in Newsies?
The guy that wants to go to San Jose and rides on the back of a horse.
That's his dream?
Yeah. Going to San Jose and riding on a horse?
Well, he sings about going there while he's riding on a horse.
Poor Howard the Paperboy.
That's a stupid name.
Well, that's what it says here,
is that it was or Howard the Paperboy.
Newsies or Howard the Paperboy.
I don't know anybody that calls it Howard the Paperboy.
You have to be really inside to do that.
Ambitious musical about the 1899 strike
by urchin peddlers of Pulitzer's
New York World and
William Randolph Hearst's Journal.
Done in by
lackluster score.
What? I beg to differ.
And cramped production
numbers that seem
cheap despite the film's hefty production
budget. Duvall
looking like one of the Smith brothers,
well, this is just getting mean,
to compare him to a cough drop character,
plays Pulitzer,
and Margaret, the queen,
needlessly pads film's bloated running time
as a musical performer who inexplicably befriends the lads.
Oh, I remember her.
She's the slutty whore girl
who makes friends with the Newsies.
She sings on a swing
and then they're like,
I want to have sex with you.
And she's like, let's be friends.
I think.
I haven't seen it in a while.
I am falling in love with Newsies
all over again.
It's directed by Kenny Ortega.
And it says
directing debut for
choreographer Ortega.
And then it says Panavision.
Like that's something anybody cares about.
Want to go to the movies? Is it in Panavision?
I don't know.
Then no.
Panavision or nothing
for me.
What about CinemaScope? I said Panavision or nothing for me. What about CinemaScope?
I said Panavision or nothing!
How dare you.
So you're going into the studio
and making a new record for all of us to enjoy?
Yeah.
Anything else you want to plug?
Lots of people listen to this.
Picking up lots of new fans tonight.
I know.
Check me out, giantdrag.com.
Feel free to buy my album.
So you're going to keep the name Giant Drag?
I am, because you know what?
I made it up.
They're all my songs.
Micah didn't even like the name when I brought it to him.
What did he want to call it?
Howard the Paperboy?
He didn't have any idea,
I don't think. People who shoot things down and then have no ideas of their own,
that's wrong. That's kind of what
Micah did, but you know, it was good when he
shot down a really bad... You should have kicked him out right then.
I know. That should have been the end right there.
I told him, you can't quit because
you're fired.
But then I was
like, never mind.
I think I saw that in a movie, by the way.
Something like that.
Yeah, I think it's happened in a movie a few times.
But then I was like, wait, if I fire you,
then I have to give you money.
So never mind, you quit.
I can't fire you because you quit.
You can't handle the truth.
That's what I know from movies. I think that was also
one of the billboards
Paul was talking about last week. Oh yeah, I saw
them. Well, thank you so much
for being on here. You're my first
musician on the show. Oh.
And first person that doesn't ever really
go to movies. Cool.
Thanks for having me. Ria Bamford doesn't
see a lot of movies either.
Well, I've seen the
important ones. Not
Star Wars, but
Newsies.
I wouldn't even give you a hard time about not having
seen Star Wars because Lucas has just ruined
the whole thing and cancelled everything out.
Now I'm kind of
happy for you. Thanks.
Because you'd be really mad if you knew what he did to those movies.
Yeah.
But instead you're like, I don't care.
I never even saw the supposedly good one.
Don't watch Harry Potter either.
That shit's all for dorks.
Got better things to do.
Annie Hardy, ladies and gentlemen.
Give it up for her.
Until next time, this is Doug Benson saying,
Doc is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.