Doug Loves Movies - Back in Minneap
Episode Date: March 30, 2012Recorded live at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, Minnesota on March 31st, 2012. Jonah Ray, Amber Preston, Matt Mira, and Graham Elwood guest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priv...acy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Yeah.
It's Saturday, March 31st, 2 Oceans 12.
What's up, Twin Cities?
That is awesome.
This is a great crowd packed in at 4.20 in the afternoon.
You know, 4.30, you know.
In case anyone wanted to step outside at 4.20 for some reason.
Somebody tweeted to me that the parking lot across the street
is like Woodstock without the music.
I never thought about that before, but it's pretty great that Acme's
in a part of town where there's nobody.
There's nobody
around to hassle you about anything.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I did a stand-up show here at ACME
And yeah
And Darren Lester
With his Jurassic Park poster
He took it down in the first round
With the category Requiem for a Bean
Because he knew that Sean Bean
Dies in Lord of the Rings
Fellowship of the Rings Ghost Protocol
Yeah I'm adding Ghost Protocol
to everything now.
Or whenever I feel like it,
or remember to.
Last night, I was a guest on Chris Hardwick's
Nerdist Live tapings at the
Varsity Theatre.
You guys are podcast
lovers.
I was going to say podcast fuckers.
That's not appropriate. varsity theater over there and uh i don't know when you guys will hear it because chris has a weird release pattern of his
shows so keep an eye out for it and but also maybe it'll never happen chris hardwick couldn't be here
today i just want to say that up front in case anyone is thinking
he might show up at my show
he couldn't make it today because he's still in Minneapolis
not really doing anything
he's still around but
busy
busy in his own way
he's probably got video games hooked up in his hotel room
so
but I did convince one of his buddies to stop by and say hello
before I bring out the other three guests that I booked for today's show.
So everybody, please give a big warm welcome from the Nerdist Podcast.
My friend Matt Myra is here.
I'll leave an empty seat for you.
Hey, nice t-shirt.
Look at that.
Yeah, a Nerdist shirt right up front.
Did you hear all those people that were there last night?
I don't know if they were there.
They were just cheering.
How many of you guys were there?
That's a good amount.
Yeah, that's nice.
They're probably only here because they thought I'd get you guys to show up here today.
Well, you got two-thirds.
Yeah, yeah.
Not the good two-thirds.
Spoiler alert.
I just really like Jonah.
He's not here.
But seriously, Chris is still around.
Yeah, he's doing something.
Yeah, just hanging out.
Mall of America. Yeah, he's doing something. Yeah, just hanging out. Mall of America.
Yeah.
You guys got a roller coaster.
And a shit ton of targets.
That's the state motto, I think.
10,000 lakes and targets.
Tarjay, is that a thing you guys say out here?
You know, we made that up.
So fancy.
So you're heading out tonight.
Yeah, I'm flying out right after this program.
You say it the right way.
I like that.
Program.
But you're doing, for the listeners, not necessarily for you guys, but you're doing uh for the listeners not necessarily for you guys but you're
doing uh nerdist live shows all all over the country yeah in two weeks we're going to madison
wisconsin and then chicago and then people booing madison wisconsin what did they ever do but give
us cheese right i had we had we had cheese we had we had beer cheese soup today
Holy shit
Thank you
It's exactly what you think it is
It's fucking cheesy beer
It was so fucking good
I could get even fatter here
I want to fill a jacuzzi with beer cheese soup
I'm in
Let's see, I'm going to be doing
In Portland, Oregon
I'm going to be at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival
And me and some of my friends are going to interrupt the movie Con Air
On Friday, April 13th.
The obvious choice that night would have been
Friday the 13th.
But I went with Con Air.
Because it's scarier in its own way
on Friday the 13th.
So if you're in Portland and at the Bridgetown Festival
and you have a comedy pass,
come by and check that out.
Also,
from the corrections department
Kate Capshaw was not married
To Steven Spielberg when he directed
This is the kind of shit people give me a hard time about
On Twitter
So that's why I feel I have to announce it
He wasn't married to Kate Capshaw
When they made Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
That's just where they fell in love, Doug
Yeah
He no nuts. He crazy.
And I've also been told
that
the movie After Hours isn't about someone
who needs to go to sleep, but about someone
who's having a hard time getting laid.
What's the difference?
Shout out to Justin Pierre
From Motion City Soundtrack
Is in the audience today
Wow, your future wife is cheering very loudly for you, Justin
And also, on Thursday, I taped a hotel room boner ep with the band Sleeper Agent, who was in town playing on Wednesday night.
All six of them in my hotel room, and that is available now for free in the comedy podcast section of iTunes and at douglosmovies.com
That's a lot of business.
I got a whole bunch of stuff I do at the top of the show because I
hear from people that they hate that part
and they're
just like, just bring out the guests.
And so I make it longer and longer.
Now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
At Mr. Will
ZZZ wrote,
My favorite part of Hunger Games
was when my wife left to see it
and I played video games for three hours.
This has been tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
So, Matt Myra has a new podcast. Yeah. Mov movies probably get mentioned from time to time we do
yeah it's called four eyes and beard or phoebe with scott mosher that's what we call he wanted
to name it phoebe just so we could call fans of it feebles and i was like shouldn't we get fans
first no that's you gotta plan ahead i didn't i didn't have a name for my fans and
still don't to this day because i just didn't think of one before i had fans yeah we're reverse
engineering it whatever it'll happen yeah but it's called phoebe and it's part of the nerdist uh
podcasting it's a it's a dynasty smodco nerdist joint oh wow you got into it together yeah and
do you and what's the the show Is you and Scott Mosier chatting?
Scott and I try to figure out if we should be friends.
Because we like each other on the surface, but we don't really know each other that well.
It's like a series of dates.
Yeah.
Like where you get together.
We go and try to figure it all out.
Yep.
All right.
I'd listen to that if I listen to stuff.
Me too. I don't have time. I don't even that if I listen to stuff. Me too.
I don't have time.
I don't even have time to go to movies.
Do you get to movies very often?
Your schedule is crazy lately.
My schedule is insane.
I work all week and then I'm on the road on the weekends.
So I just end up just watching television,
which essentially consists of 30 episodes of Kitchen Nightmares a week.
So my DVR picks up.
I'm sorry.
We were hanging out in my hotel room before we came over here,
and I handed him the remote and said, you know,
watch what you want or whatever.
And next thing I know, I have to listen to like a half hour of a special
on PBS about the Black Plague.
You guys, it might not have been the bubonic plague.
It might have been something else.
So it was pretty interesting.
It ended inconclusively.
Just like every episode of Finding Bigfoot.
On the season finale of Finding Bigfoot.
Got him.
Tune in next season for Holding on to Bigfoot. Got him. Tune in next season for holding on to Bigfoot.
Because what are we going to do with him when we get him?
What if they're burying evidence?
They know we don't want the gravy train to end.
We're still finding Bigfoot.
If we could only find the Henderson cabin.
Lithgow.
We'll know exactly where he is.
Let me see what else I want to ask you before I send you on your merry way.
So have you seen a motion picture just like on your computer or cable in a hotel room recently?
The last thing I watched was Fat, Sick, and nearly dead on uh netflix yeah one person
one person just swatted a fly it wasn't even a clap
fat fat sick or nearly dead sick and nearly dead yeah it's about this australian guy that
decides to just drink juice for 60 days apparently if you don't eat you lose a shitload of weight
would it give too much away
to say how he does over the 60 days yeah no he uh he loses uh 83 pounds and then all of the things
he has to take medification for i'll clear up and he's all set wow yeah right and now i don't even
have to watch it don't you're. Or I'll watch it backwards.
Oh, you should.
It gets fatter.
I like bleak endings.
It's like my life.
Oh.
Say goodbye to Matt Meyer, everybody.
Thank you, Matt.
Bye.
All right.
I guess he could have stayed out here for the prize bag part, but that's all right.
I'll show you guys what's in the bag. I brought one of the many free bags I got at the South by Southwest Festival to carry this around.
And a delightful pink sweater thingy.
So that's a good gift.
A deck of cards.
Who doesn't need, you know, no matter how much you love movies, it's always nice to
have a deck of cards.
And then someone brought a Nerd Alert.
It's a stand-up compilation CD, so I assume it's all comics
talking about nerdy stuff.
And I brought, this is kind of a
I have a few of these left over from last
year I went on, I did a Pot the Vote
tour, so to try to
raise awareness for voting for Pot.
And even
when it's not on the ballot, just write it on
there.
Just write Pot every time you vote.
The aforementioned Sleeper Agent, I've got their CD, Celebration.
And then I've got leftover from when I went to the lead-up,
Kevin Pereira's lead-up out in L.A.
They gave me a bunch of stuff, and one of the things is the Magic the Gathering cards.
This is the intro pack.
So hopefully whoever wins this is not already deep into the game,
because that's just insulting.
And then I'll show that in a second.
And then Hot Off the Press is a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.
Now in, is this Hunter Green?
I think this is Hunter Green.
And what's this shirt say on it?
Oh, this is, who gave me this?
Oh, it's a sleeper agent shirt.
God, I was like, what the hell is this from?
Oh, and a,
whatever this does,
I don't,
it's called a Joy Stick It.
And it's like a joystick
with a little suction cup on it
for if you need to have
a joystick somewhere.
And a copy of
Doug Benson Professional Humoridian,
my first CD.
And so all of this
could be yours tonight.
And helping to contribute to this bag with all of this wonderful stuff
are my three guests, three friends of mine.
Please welcome to the stage Amber Preston, Graham Elwood, and Jonah Ray. What's going on over there?
Yeah, what's happening?
We're just figuring it all out.
Trying to make it work.
Get it together, guys.
Yeah!
You got your drinks on that stool
Well done
Oh shit
That's all it takes to be a success
So Amber, you brought the lovely pink sweater
I did
Sweatshirt
The embellished sweatshirt
And this nerd alert thing
You're like one track on it
Talking about what nerdy thing do you talk about on here It's a surprise this nerd alert thing you're like one track on it I'm one track and then there's some other comics talking about
what nerdy thing
do you talk about on here
it's a surprise
because you don't remember
no
I just want you to listen to it
okay
and enjoy it
alright well I'm giving it away
so
by you
I'll have to track down
another copy
yes
I can make that happen
yeah
Amber is a comic
who lives right here in beautiful
Minneapolis, right? Word. Word.
Yeah.
If you've been to Acme, I'm sure you've seen her.
Yes. Climbing the Acme
ladder of success. That's right.
You started out probably... I made it to a Saturday afternoon
for 25. Yeah.
Things are happening. Nobody else
remade it that far. That's right.
Blowing up.
And Graham El Elwood of course
Everybody
Hello
He and I have been in town
For a few days now
And
Having a good time
Yeah it's been great
Yeah yeah
So a sleeper agent
And
You know
Micro bruise
And indie bands
Oh wow Wow yeah Rode a Had a bike lane Go through my hotel room So I was a sleeper agent and, you know, micro-brews and indie bands.
Oh, wow.
Wow, yeah.
Had a bike lane go through my hotel room.
He says the same jokes in Portland and Austin, Texas.
Yes, that's actually true.
Don't feel special. And maybe tomorrow in Madison, Wisconsin.
My whole set tomorrow in Madison Is going to be about unions
It's going to be more of a rally
Yeah
Than a set
Well you're going to do
Humorous observations
About Norma Rae
Yeah
Yeah
Remember that one sign she had
That one sign
She could have used more signs
That would have helped her cause
Yeah yeah
That's important in protesting.
And it's also important when you come to Douglo's movies.
Can we see your name tags?
Ah, shit.
This shit is crazy.
Oh, my God.
You guys went nuts.
This is amazing.
There's so much.
Too much effort.
Oh, my God.
Holy crap.
This is so.
You guys are amazing.
So good.
Holy shit.
They're so crafty.
This guy stole his from a homeless person.
Yeah.
There's a story behind that, actually.
Oh.
That's the same sign you got.
Hey, the Noid.
The Noid.
Oh, my God.
I would have picked it if you picked Seven Up's The Spot character.
I'm a bigger fan of The Spot.
And it says Avoid on it.
That doesn't make sense.
Is there a Spots McKenzie sign out there?
What about Mac Tonight?
Chocolate Easter Bunny?
Alright, keep these up the entire time.
Our arms are getting tired.
Our arms are so tired.
Is that a ring? Are you proposing?
Or is it styrofoam? What's happening there?
It's a pie. You're a ring? Are you proposing? What is that? Oh, it's a styrofoam. What's happening there? It's a pie.
You're a pie. Oh, shit.
Burn!
Burn! Someone just has the DVD of Paul.
I'm guessing that's
his name. No, it's his name
Simon Pegg.
Okay, guys, you can put him down.
Oh, Darren with the apocalypse.
I mean mean Jurassic Park
Right up front
How do you decide
It's so hard
That's the thing
He's got a little time
To think about it
Because we're going to
Get to that in a little while
I feel pressured
But the homeless sign
Is an interesting story
Because he was out in LA
And there was a couple
That actually had that sign
About being stranded
And pregnant
And they
You thought it was hilarious
And they needed
You're homeless.
They needed 28 bucks
to get a bus ride home or whatever.
And this guy gave them $30
and took their sign
and made it into his name tag.
Wowza.
And then he got chosen, right?
And did the person
that played for you win?
Not Morgan Spurlock.
Morgan Spurlock picked it
and he did not win for him.
You have not made a new sign?
You're just keeping that old sign?
Like, no effort.
All these people.
You know, he had to fly all the way back with it.
He had to go through airport security and have the guy look at it and go, what?
You know, they probably just used that $30 to buy that baby a beer.
Yeah.
I always love when there's a specific dollar amount in the homeless store.
It's like, I just need.
The guy came up to yesterday. My sister dropped me homeless store. It's like, I just need... The guy came up to...
Yesterday, my sister dropped me off.
The guy's like, I need $22.
That's the number.
And you're like, oh shit, I've only got 50s.
What do I do?
If I only could break this 50,
I only have these million dollar bills.
Did you tell the people on the plane,
like, it works.
That's how I afforded my ticket?
With the sign? You were just panhandling. the plane Like, yeah, it works That's how I afforded my ticket With the sign
You were just panhandling
I did it, yeah
So anyway, so thanks for schlepping that around everywhere
And good luck to you today
Throwing it on the ground
And I'm sorry that Morgan Spurlock let you down
He's such a disappointment
I watch his movie backwards too
Super Size Me
Because I like watching him get thinner
It's a motivational It looks like, oh my god McDonald's makes you I watch his movie backwards too Super Size Me Because I like watching him Get thinner Yeah
It's a motivational
It looks like
Oh my god
McDonald's makes you
Makes you look really healthy
Yeah
Eventually
If you eat it long enough
And that was Jonah Ray
Down there on that end
Ladies and gentlemen
Jonah Ray
Yay
Hello
Hello
Hello
Really fun last night At the Varsity Yes Hello Hello Really fun last night at the Varsity
Hello
Yeah, we did two shows last night
For the Nerdist podcast
Are you there?
Apologies
Apologies
Apologies
It was like watch three drunk guys
And Chris Hardwick
Yeah, yeah, yeah As opposed to the normal show Apologies Apologies Apologies It was like Watch three drunk guys And Chris Hardwick Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah
As opposed to the normal show
Which was watch two guys
And Chris Hardwick
Two drunk guys
And Chris Hardwick
Yeah
I think I had 18 beers
I wasn't counting
After a while
Were they
Were they local
Local micro brewed
Yeah it was
What's this
Surly
I was drinking Surly
Yeah yeah
I am really weirded out, though.
The can does look like it was designed by Guy Fieri.
The can looks like an asshole?
I'm sure he's a nice guy.
He's probably not.
With a haircut like that, who can't be?
And sunglasses.
My hair is crazy.
So am I.
So Jonah, have you been to the cinema lately?
Matt hasn't had time for the cinema, and you're on a similar schedule to Matt.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
I haven't been seeing any new movies.
I go to the CineFamily a lot in Los Angeles where they show other movies.
I watched – they showed The Gate recently, which is an old horror movie classic, The Gate.
You guys don't remember that?
It's where the kid finds the gate to hell in his backyard because of his metal friend that looks like a young, skinny Brian Poussin.
And it plays the record backward.
And then the craziest part is that after all the demons are all gone and everything's like just like fucking you know good and his sister and his best friend are back
literally literally the last line of the movie as he puts his arms around them it goes you guys are
my best friends as it pulls out i was like oh that's a good every horror movie should end like
that well freddy's dead you guys are my best friends but uh yeah i haven't been going to too many.
I've been doing a lot of the on-demand. I watch a lot of movies
on-demand. I watch Goon with
Sean. Yeah, it's a great movie. Sean William Scott.
No, this guy's just a goon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just headbutts everybody
around him. He's a hockey goon.
Or in Minnesota, a hockey goon.
They could be here.
It was directed by the guy who did the FUBAR movies, which are also
very good. FUBAR.
Okay.
All right.
Sorry, I thought this was a Doug Loves Movies podcast.
Doug does not love FUBAR.
Yeah, sorry.
And explain what FUBAR is.
Does it mean fucked up beyond all recognition?
Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of like a comedy about these two just kind of hesher Canadian dudes that just drink beer and do speed.
And the second one is just...
Are you sure you're not thinking of Strange Brew?
No, no, no, no.
Speed.
They should remake it with those guys doing speed.
But it's really...
It's one of the funniest movies I saw last year.
The sequel, FUBAR 2, Balls to the Wall.
Ghost Protocol.
What about you Graham?
What cinema adventures have you been on?
Well I saw Hunger Games White Battle Royale?
Yeah it was White Battle Royale
And I'm going to get Battle Royale on DVD
Yeah Hunger Games and I saw The Raid
Which is
The Raid is so great
Oh my god if you've listened to me on our podcast,
talk about 13 Assassins,
make this the companion piece to people getting fucked up.
It's a great...
God, it's amazing.
They fight with swords and they just floor to floor.
It's so great.
It's Indonesian sea lot.
I could nerd off about this movie for hours.
Yeah.
That would upset the people in the front row.
When you said nerd off, you were very touching.
Yeah, you were stroking it.
You were like,'m a nerd off
And you pet
These guys just fight each other
And there's blood
Oh god
Oh god
What is that a fucking sword
Oh it's a fucking sword against an Uzi
Oh fuck
Oh he kicked that guy through a window
Oh
Don't nerd one out right here in front of us
Yeah
I'm glad there's a space between us now
Yeah
Naughty What about Amber right here in front of us. Yeah. I'm glad there's a space between us now. Yeah.
Naughty.
What about Amber?
That's just the questions now.
Amber.
I actually saw The Hunger Games this morning.
This morning?
Just this morning.
What a busy day for you.
I got ahead.
I woke up.
I tapped the day
because I didn't want
there to be children
because the movie I'd seen before that was The Lorax and I went because I woke up I tapped the day because I didn't want there to be children because the movie
I'd seen before that
was the Lorax
and I went
because I make smart decisions
and I went at night
and there was lots
of little kids
running around
at a nine o'clock movie
and I just
went to have the movie
judging people
and hating
like thank you for
yeah
they were all horrible parents
and
so I went this morning
and I'm
I'm a little motion sick
The hand cam
Not steady cam
Oh my god
Hunger Games
It's like every time
It gets violent
They just shake the camera around
And you're like
I'm missing this good stuff
And getting a headache
They had a really squeamish
Guy with the camera
Just like oh no
Oh I can't look at this
Oh fuck
I can't
Oh my god
Children are killing each other
I want to turn away I needed Dramamine i wish i i took dramamine before avatar and i should
have done it before the hunger games i took heroin before avatar that's good it's really helpful
that would have been that would have been helpful yeah that helps you to get through it yeah exactly
a guy wakes up from a space sleep And then I don't know the rest You didn't wake up from space sleep
They're like fighting the woods
The fucking
The blue people
I'm sorry that's the heroin talking
Don't mind me that's the heroin talking
But other than it making you sick
I enjoyed it
You enjoyed it?
Yeah.
The heroin?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.
It was really nice.
There were no kids
at a 10, 15 a.m.
showing of a film.
I am really awesome at life
is what that means
that I get up early.
I love going to shit early.
Like I saw...
And there's no one there.
I saw Project X
at 10 a.m. in Los Angeles
and I was the only person
in the theater.
So I live tweeted the whole thing.
Just saying things like, oh, if anyone else were here, I'd feel like a creep.
Yeah.
But since I'm alone, it's all good.
Nerd it out.
Nerd one out.
He didn't nerd out.
Yeah, because that movie's just intense.
There's a lot of stuff going on with little kids.
I just worry too much. But it's funny that Project stuff going on with little kids. I just worry too much.
But it's funny that
Project X, it's little
kids.
It's little kids.
It's little kids
partying and swearing
and that got an R and
Hunger Games is little
kids murdering each
other.
Yeah.
But you don't see it.
And that's a PG-13.
Yeah, you don't see it
because of this shaky
scared camera guy.
So they would have
done that with Project
X.
No, don't drive that
car into the pool.
I would have got a PG-13. But they do show, like there was that one where she fell down and you just see her eyeballs with Project X No, don't drive that car into the pool But they do show
There was that one where she fell down and you just see her eyeballs
They don't show any blood
But you see dead girl eyeballs
That was a little freaky
I don't like that
Spoiler alert
If you don't know that people die in the Hunger Games
Then you don't deserve to listen to this podcast
If you don't know that 22 people die in the Hunger Games
That's a spoiler alert.
Shit, come on.
That's a total spoiler alert.
I'm kind of a body count savant.
Oh my god, then you gotta go see The Raid, dude.
I did see it.
I did see it.
116 people.
They all die.
How's the camera work?
Is it shaky?
No, you see people die.
No, they lock it down and fight.
All right, lock it down and fight.
Put you guys in a room with a couple of cameras and go.
Wait a minute.
She loves it.
Oh, sorry.
That guy should have, Gareth Evans, who directed The Raid,
he should have directed Hunger Games.
I hope that would have been a movie.
Give him the job for the second one.
I think that other guy's got it locked in.
I think he's doing the sequel too.
Drama mean.
Drama mean.
Fifth element with kids.
Comedy happy. Drama mean.
Jesus.
Come on. that really just happened
does anybody
does anybody hear
Hunger for Games
oh
I'm bad at this one
I know
let's play build a title
this is gonna be
this is gonna determine
which one of you guys
goes first
in Leonard Maltin.
I still have so much pressure.
We'll start with you then, Amber, if you're so worried about the pressure.
And then we'll go to Graham and then Jonah and around like that.
Everyone right now is going, God, I hope she doesn't pick my sign.
Anybody can win.
It's been proven.
Matt Myra has won.
You're shitting on him Anybody
Even you Matt
Even Matt
Yeah
It's a strategic game
This not so much
This you gotta step up
And do it right
This is crazy
At bullet underscore ego
Suggested on Twitter
That I say to you now, Air Force One.
So Amber, you need a movie that ends in air or begins with one.
All right.
I am for cheating, so feel free to mouth something to me at any point.
No, don't help her, you guys.
Don't help her at all.
Just sit there and take pictures of her.
Guys, we're in shorts.
Up in the Air Force One.
Up in the Air Force One.
Yes.
Nice.
Excellent.
You're such a Minnesota.
Like, oh, good.
You're an idiot
if you didn't get it.
But good.
That was like pity.
It's like like Special Olympics
Such a nice
Okay Graham
Ends in up
And you can't do up
Oh
Up in the Air Force
One on one the Robbie Benson movie
From the 70s
Yeah
Minnesota
Put that in your 10,000 lakes Yeah the Robbie Benson movie from the 70s? Yeah. Ba-ba-boom, Minnesota.
Put that in your 10,000 leaks.
Yeah.
That's kind of fun because now it still ends with one.
Yeah.
Which is perfect for me.
You did nothing to...
Oh.
All right, so I got to wait.
It's Jonah's turn now.
Yeah.
Up in the air, force one on one,
flew over the cuckoo's nest.
Nice.
Nice.
Excellent.
You don't have to say the whole thing, though, do you?
Well, it's fun when you do.
Well.
But it's hard.
I've got it written in front of me, so I'll say it if need be.
Up.
Cuckoo's nest.
Okay, so you need nest something.
Or ends in up.
I just
thought of an up one. Me too.
Too bad it's not either of our
turns. I know.
I need to look what I was gonna...
I like this sign because I can just rest my head on it.
Take a little snooze.
Just clock out for a little bit.
Nah.
Nothing?
I'll pass.
Okay, you're out.
Just for now.
Yeah.
Graham, grown-ups.
How dare you?
Ooh.
Does that count?
It's a pull.
Yeah, that George Clooney movie was called Ups in the Air.
Oh.
Right.
You got to maintain the integrity of the words, Graham. All right. You got to maintain
the integrity
of the words, Graham.
All right.
You got anything else?
This podcast is about anything.
It's maintaining
the integrity
of the podcast.
Something up.
My nest.
All right.
You'll be back.
You're out for now. Big up. Who said cuckoo's nest? Who said that? I said cuckoo's nest. All right. You'll be back. You're out for now.
Who said cuckoo's nest?
I said cuckoo's nest.
Okay, so you win either way, but you can add to it.
Step up in the air.
Step up.
Nice.
Force one on one flew over the cuckoo's nest.
Yes.
Nice.
Damn it.
To the streets. Jonah's nest. Yes. Nice. Damn it. To the streets.
Jonah's on the board.
I was thinking
which way is up.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So Jonah finished
that one off.
He's getting excited.
He's unrolling his name tag.
I know.
He's excited.
Are we close yet?
We got a few more rounds.
This is like the long version
of Build a Title,
so you don't have to have your sign out yet.
He's so ready.
I know.
He's ready to bust out that sign.
But there's movie titles on it, so that's good.
Keep it out.
It helps with the...
What?
You think the five or six titles on his sign
might come up in this game?
You never know.
You never know.
Inspiration comes from all places, Doug.
All right, Amber.
We're going to start
with you again.
All right.
This time we'll go to Jonah.
Switch it up,
so it's not the same order.
At Mushroomer25,
suggested...
Woo!
25!
He's a vegetarian.
He suggested,
I love you, man.
All right.
All right. So you need Amber
You need something that begins with man or ends with I
I love you man on wire
A wire? Man on a wire?
A documentary?
It's man on wire I think
Man on wire
Man on wire
Thank you
No article
Holy shit
We didn't come here to learn sir Okay Thank you. It's a good movie. No article. Holy shit.
We didn't come here to learn, sir.
Okay.
I love you, man on wire.
I dream about you at night, man on wire.
His eyes are closed.
What do you think, Jonah?
Oh, it's not Yeah you bitch
You're changing the order around
Fuck me
I love you man on wire
You're out
Sam and I
Love you man on wire
Sam and I?
That's not a movie?
No
What's the movie? No.
What's the movie where... I am Sam.
No, that's not it.
No, but in Europe, they call it Sam and I.
Yeah, it was like, you know, in Europe, it was driver, not drive.
I'm not sorry.
I guess it's not a classy joint.
Maybe you're thinking of son of Sam, am I? Yeah. I am it's not a classy joint Maybe you're thinking
Son of Sam am I
Yeah
I am
Alright Graham
What is it again?
You need to
It needs to end in I
Or begin with wire
So it needs to end in I
Wired
Oh based on the book
Yep
That wasn't gonna be mine
You cheater
Motherfucker
Knowledge isn't cheating Oh, based on the book. Yep. That wasn't going to be mine. You cheater. Motherfucker.
No.
Knowledge isn't cheating.
All Graham added to the title was... I know.
But it counts.
That's what I bring to the table.
Okay, Amber.
Wired something.
So that's probably no good.
I feel like there's like wired.
But it ends with I.
I know.
Think of something that ends with I.
I.
Blank I.
Oh.
Yeah.
I.
Sure.
It doesn't have to be spelled the same way.
I know.
It just has to sound like it.
Oh.
Yeah.
It wouldn't have made a difference.
It wouldn't have made a difference.
Anything?
No.
I don't know.
I.
Blind.
Blind I. Is that a movie? It should be. It should be. Let me give you a little tip. anything no I don't know I blind blind eye
is that a movie
it should be
let me give you
a little tip
if you're gonna do that
you gotta say it
with commitment
you just go
yep blind eye
pre-production
knuckles pow
pre-production
IMDB it
right now
don't
don't
but IMDB it
and then next week
he just does a correction
that's how it works
you just gotta sell it
you gotta sell it
right
editor's note
alright so Graham wins that round with the musically long title i love you man on wired
is there an eye is eye for an eye a movie eye for an eye yes i should have said that golden eye
red eye right robot he's getting so mad this guy is really, he's like, I spy. I spy.
Oh yeah.
The fly.
The end of the word.
I don't know if it could sound like it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Lonely guy.
Right.
I was thinking I spy,
but then I was like,
no, it's at the beginning,
but you're smart.
I try.
Right.
All right.
I like to let your audience feel we're super smart
and that's why I did that.
They are super smart.
Go kiss up to them.
Hey, you get to leave.
I live here. These people will hunt me down
on the streets. Shaky cam
style. I don't think that's going to happen.
What would they do in a minute? They just hunt you down and go
honey you need to try her. And then when they walk away
they'll say that and then when
they walk away when I can't hear they'll go oh well
she's an idiot. That's what
they do. She's nice, but
just don't compare us to Wisconsin.
Oh, that's bullshit.
Right? All right.
So Graham got the point. So we'll start with Jonah
this time. And then
and then
we'll move towards Graham. We'll switch the order
around. All right. Would you like
you don't get to pick.
I would like to
At OhThatRyan on Twitter
Suggested Scarlet Letter
Scarlet Letter
So you need something that ends in Scarlet
What would that be?
Or begins with letter
Or you can use
The first half of either of those words
If you know what I'm saying.
Or the second half.
Second half, I mean.
Turn.
Shit.
What do you think?
Scarlet, let, terminal.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a good one.
Let, terminal.
It was sweaty.
It was sweaty.
It's okay.
It's a bit forced.
Technically, the terminal.
Yeah, we dropped the V's and the A's.
You know how that goes.
Articles.
Thank you.
Get out.
Articles.
What's your favorite part of magazines, sir?
Articles.
The pictures of tips.
I said magazines, not National Geographic.
Okay, Graham.
What is it?
It's Scarlet Lead Terminal.
Terminal Velocity.
Oh.
Charlie Sheen Classic.
Charlie Sheen, yeah.
That's the...
Okay, Amber.
Scarlet and T. Letter, Lead Terminal Velocity. Okay, Amber. Scarlet and T.
Letter, terminal velocity.
Yeah, T.
T minus.
T minus.
You've got 10 seconds.
T minus.
Right, I was hoping for a countdown.
You've got ten seconds.
T minus.
I was hoping for a countdown.
We have to evacuate.
T minus.
So much pressure. Those people staring at you.
I like it when you just pass.
Pass.
Thanks, Doug.
I'll give you an out.
Is it me?
Yes, sir.
What is it at right now?
Velocity or Scarlet
The whole thing
Scarlet Lettermanal Velocity
Scarlet Lettermanal Velocity
Tinker
Taylor Soldier Spy
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
All the things that start with the T sound And you have to go with Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker
Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker Tinker I bend the words to my will Alright Graham
Scarlet
Letter
Terminal
Velocity
Velocity
I've got some for spy
Taylor
No
We just did some
Soldier
Spy
Spy
Well there's many options
We could go with
Yeah sure
We could go with. Yeah, sure. We could go with...
Go ahead, just pick one of the many.
Well, I could go Spies Like Us.
I could go Spy Robot.
I could pick many of those.
How about Spies Like Us?
Bitches.
Spies Like Us, Bitches?
Is that a sequel?
That was the prequel.
It was like Bette Midler.
Dan Aykroyd was like a teenager
and he was played by Dakota Fanning's brother.
I don't know.
There are more Fannings?
Seth Fanning.
Seth Fanning.
I actually wrote down bitches.
Put that in your Netflix queue
Spies like us bitches
Spies
Did you mean
Alright Jonah
Scarlet Letter
Remember my velocity
Tinker Taylor soldiers
Spies like us
Spies like us
They do
They're really nice
They're just trying to get information
They don't really
like you.
You can't trust them.
Jonah?
Yeah.
Tinker.
Yeah, one of your
fucking finagled...
I'm making the puzzle pieces fit,
Graham. Yeah, you don't really
deserve to win on this one anyway.
What?
Tinker.
Tinker.
Tinker.
Stop making fun of my speech impediment.
What a weird speech impediment.
I only mispronounced two words.
Tinker and impediment.
Or maybe something
with Scarlet in it.
Oh my gosh.
All right.
Anything, Jonah?
Scar.
No.
I got nothing.
All right.
Do you have something
for Scarlet?
Dark night Scarlet
fucking pumpernickel.
I'm not that moronic.
Pumpernickel.
Let's see how we're doing on time here.
Let's just double check and make sure.
Oh, we're in good shape. Perfect.
Alright, so I would have put
Madagascar.
Oh!
And with the third one out, the one we're all
looking forward to, I should have remembered.
They have crazy rainbow wigs in it.
What? On the posters,
I don't know if they're in the movie
Are they in the movie?
I hope so
That's why I'm going
If not, false advertising
Rainbow wig
And the John 312
316
I don't know
Is it
What is it?
12, 16?
What is it?
16
3?
316
That guy went crazy
There's a documentary on that guy
The guy that used to wear
The original rainbow wig
He used to wear the rainbow wig and hold that sign in advance.
Yeah, yeah.
He ended up trying to kill somebody.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
He seemed totally sane.
Yeah.
It doesn't make sense.
Such a nice guy.
That's the thing.
You never know.
You never know.
You never know who's going to snap in this society.
Be nice to guys with wigs.
Rainbow wig and religious sign.
Who wasn't?
It was the rainbow wig guy.
What?
Did somebody try to take his wig?
Is that what happened?
Yeah.
Okay. So Graham has another point. What? Did somebody try to take his wig? Is that what happened?
Okay, so Graham has another point.
So I'll give you guys one try to tie it with him.
So if you don't pull this one off,
then Graham's going to be the winner of this game.
At Justin Helmer.
Can I have a point for knowing the rules?
Listen, lots of people don't know the rules And you spend half the time explaining shit
I know, it's true
It's like the SATs, we put our names down correctly
This is what I'm saying
This is what I'm saying
Let's pretend you have a point
But not really
Justin Helmer suggested...
We are in Minneapolis, of course, so...
Purple Rain.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who won that last point?
Graham?
And who went right before him?
Me.
Okay, so we'll start with Amber.
Ah, shit.
I know.
Whatever, I'll be out right away.
Yeah, and then we'll go...
Hey, hey, come on now.
Not right away.
And then we go to Graham.
Amber, then Graham.
Gramber.
Gramber.
What do you think?
Oh, Purple and...
Purple Rain.
Purple Rain.
We need some ends in purple.
I just love Purple so much.
It begins with rain.
Rain of fire.
Yeah, that's correct.
Thank you, set guy who wants me to pick a song.
How many articles are in that?
One.
Graham.
Purple Rain of Fire
Starter. Yeah.
You twist your
name. Bing, bing.
The Color Purple Rain
of
Shit.
Color Purple Rain of Fire Starter.
So now you need ends in color or begins with star or tur.
Starter or tur.
Turtles from space.
That isn't a thing.
Not yet.
Could be.
Pre-production.
Pre-production.
2014.
That one's in pre-pro bro
straight to DVD
it has an IMDb
oh we don't support
local student artists
in Minneapolis
on this podcast
it's a student film
I'm in
no it's just the opposite
we say fuck local
student artists
shit
on this podcast
oh no
that's not nice
it was a beautiful sunset
I'm going to art school that's not nice. It was a beautiful sunset.
I'm going to art school.
That's not nice. Okay, what about true colors?
That says an S.
Yeah.
You got nothing?
I got nothing.
Oh, that guy wants me to get it for that.
Yeah, the article guy.
Oh, this guy?
Oh, smarty pants over here?
Oh, okay.
I have a pass.
Okay.
All right.
So then we go to Graham.
What is it again, please?
We have Color Purple Rain of Fire Starter,
which I would totally see if that was a thing.
Ha!
Tell the Abraham vampire guy to write that book.
Make it a movie That would be
Cause wouldn't Purple Rain
Be so much better
If Prince could
Set people on fire
With his mind
With dragons
And there's also dragons
And then Oprah
Oprah comes in
And kicks some ass
Yeah
She
Fucks some shit up
Yeah Oprah wouldn't
Put up with that
No
Apollonia
He could slap her
But he can't slap Oprah Come on Apollonia, he could slap her, but he can't slap Oprah.
Come on.
Apollonia schmonia.
What do you think, Graham?
Fire starter.
Her problems that she's working through.
Hers or yours?
Just be crazy.
Remember Terminal
from the last
yeah I know
yeah
I think they're gonna
help
our Terminal Velocity
again
that's what I'm saying
alright okay
I'll do this one
I'll go Firestar Terminator
yeah
the first one
right here Knuckles Knuckles the first Terminator. Yeah. The first one? Right here.
Knuckles.
Knuckles.
The first Terminator?
Terminator.
Yeah, I'll go Terminator.
Hey, hey, this isn't a goddamn thing.
I'll go Salvation.
I'll go all the way to Salvation.
I'm passionate about their Terminator.
Terminator Salvation.
If you said Terminator 2 Judgment Day, I would have had so many options. I know. Salvation. I'll go all the way to Salvation. People are passionate about their Terminator. Terminator, Salvation. If you said Terminator 2 Judgment Day,
I would have had so many options.
I know.
Salvation.
That's why I wanted to know.
I didn't want to have another ter at the end.
Just go around in circles.
Okay.
Who's still in it?
You're out of it.
So it's Jonah.
But it's Terminator.
Terminator, Salvation.
We have to have Salvation? He's a shun. He's a shun. Fuck, man. But it's Terminator. Terminator Salvation. We have to have Salvation?
Yeah.
Fuck, man.
I asked him which one.
He thought about it forever.
And then he decided to fuck me with it.
Could have Terminator-a-tora-tora would have been fucking great.
That's a great movie.
It would have been great.
It would have been.
Let's all just give it to me.
They've heard it, though.
They know you're awesome.
They heard it.
All right.
So where are we at now?
Shun.
Shun.
What's the first word?
Color.
Can you use it in a sentence?
Color and salvation.
Color, purple, reign of fire,
star, terminator. Salvation. Color purple Reign of fire Star Terminator
Salvation
I know this has come up
Sean has come up before
And someone's told me
An answer
Now I can't
Now I can't think of it
But there is
There is something
That begins in Sean
Sean
I've got one
I know you don't believe me
Shunder Island
Anything It is a tough one Yeah it is I know you don't believe me. Shunder Island.
Anything?
It is a tough one.
Yeah, it is.
Money is a color.
True that.
Great film.
That was the French movie that The Color of Money was based on.
Exactly.
Kind of like La Femme Nikita.
Yeah. Yeah, I gotemme Nikita. Yeah.
Yeah, I got nothing.
All right.
Yeah.
Could you,
can I give an example and ask you if that was right?
Sure, sure.
Could you have said
Salvation of the Dead?
They love it.
He said it got tinker
and I couldn't.
Yeah, I would rather you go
with Salvation Tinker.
Right.
I'm saying it's not even worth a point.
You can't even throw me.
It's the same family of just stretching to make it fit.
I'm just clarifying.
Yeah.
Still works.
I don't get a point, but thank you for your enthusiasm.
You don't say Shaun of the Dead.
Well, if you're real fancy, you do.
Yeah.
You say Shaun of the Dead.
You have a weird-ass accent.
Yes.
One for Shaun of the Dead, please. Yes. Shaun of the Dead. You have a weird-ass accent. Yes. One for Shaun of the Dead,
please.
Yes.
Shaun of the Dead.
I'd love zombies
than Shaun.
Hello, government.
Yes.
Hello, hello.
Oh, no, don't get him
started with that shit.
Two tickets for Shaun of the Dead.
Don't get into that.
Did you say Shaun of the Dead
or Shaun of the Dead?
I said Shaun of the Tinkertail.
Get in right this way, please.
You're a spy.
I like to start things and let you guys finish them.
You like some popcorn?
Hey guys, talk funny.
Shun of the dead.
Go.
We're not your monkeys.
Oh.
Oh.
This is awkward.
Then the post party I have planned
is going to be very awkward.
Because we're all going to
throw shit at everybody. And I'm going to feed them bananas. Because we're all going to throw shit at everybody.
And I'm going to feed them bananas.
What kind of party is this?
Monkey party.
Oh.
They're not yes and monkeys.
They shut you down and then throw shit at you.
But that was fun.
And it only leads to more fun.
Because we order more drinks.
Yeah. Let's get more drinks up here and
can we have another carafe?
It's easy to grab in the
heat of the game.
It's also easier. It's a better weapon
to slam somebody
over the head with a carafe. I didn't know the stool
sitch so I wanted to grab something. Yeah, okay.
Let's do
a Leonard Maltin game.
Before that. Oh, shit.
Oh, man. Before we play
a Leonard Maltin game, let's get those name tags out.
Can we get the house lights up
so we can see all the way to the back?
Raise in the back, bring up the house lights.
Oh, gosh. A lot of work went into that poster.
Wow, someone's got a cake.
Adam Wells Day Off.
There's a couple of cakes.
There's a cake over here, too.
There's Steph, Steph, Steph.
That should try to make that one bigger next time.
I don't see my name.
What do I pick?
Is there a Jonah?
No.
Any Jonas in the house?
I like the noise over there.
I like the way he's dancing around.
You guys went all out.
Yeah, you're right.
Avoid the noise.
You guys did an amazing job.
Nice.
Leonard Mall.
That's a curious case of Benjamin Deers.
CamelTard.
This is a guy with a palm strike shirt
Virginia
This is a gnome
Sex toy
Pete
Dan
Alright so
Pick a name tag you guys
This is like
So hard
These are all amazing
Alright you're dismissed
You don't have to pick one
Just play for yourself
Some guy's
Pulling up a picture
Of his dead dog
Trying to get sympathy points
Alright I'm gonna play for Betsy
Come on now she has an iHeartPodcast shirt
So we're gonna support her
And her love
Oh that's a fucking snake
I'm gonna have to go with the Noid I'm sorry
Noid
I will not avoid the Noid I apologize
But look at the effort it's like a pop up book
Where it has a thing and movement
Give all you guys a round of applause.
Give yourselves a round of applause
for spending some time in the basement with some crayons.
I did want those brownies, Jamie.
They look real tasty.
I'm going to eat this.
We're going to eat the shit out of those brownies.
I want to eat that Noid guy.
But you know what I do want to do?
I never do this.
Can we get the house lights back up again, please?
I want to just take... Hold up your slides.
I want to take some pictures of you guys.
They're all very great.
You did such an amazing job.
Take your pants off.
Don't cry.
Oh, look at that. That's a nice one.
I'll cry.
Okay, thank you.
I can totally just trick him, that guy said.
What's on the fly swatter?
It's a cornish on the fly swatter
Steph, Steph, Steph
Pick one
A squeezy cornish
So a guy with a palm strike shirt, that inflatable
Who is that exactly?
It's Marie Curie
Wow
Are you saying
It's Marie Curie
Are you saying you need penicillin
Or that one of these guys does
Oh
Marie Curie
Wow
Anybody have any other
Esoteric
It's a boomerang
Anybody got a
Goethe sign out there
Want to fucking bust out
Does anybody have a
Kettle one and soda
As a name tag That was awesome I tried to get pictures Does anybody have a kettle one in soda?
As a name tag?
That was awesome.
I tried to get pictures of every section of the room.
These are amazing.
Yeah, and look at you with your... My giant phallic snake in my lap.
Yeah, Cobra.
Oh, you're right.
It is like a dick.
What?
It is like a dick.
It is, right?
And it's like a dick and it's a hole.
It's all in one.
Hey!
We're going to have a lot of fun with that at the monkey party.
Here we are.
She just left.
She's disgusting.
I apologize.
I took it to that place.
These people are so mad.
Gnarly.
Okay, so whose name is on the Cobra?
Joe.
He's been...
Cobra Joe.
Cobra Joe.
We will put our customers first.
Joe has been serving you since forever. That's so weird to see a Denny's name tag on a Cobra Joe. Cobra Joe. We will put our customers first. Joe has been serving you since forever.
That's so weird to see a Denny's name tag on a Cobra.
It's heavy.
That's one of their slams.
The Cobra slam.
Cobra slam, yeah.
It looks like it's been hand sharpied.
We put balls of pancake inside of the body of a Cobra.
I really want to moose over my hammy, but there's a...
Cobra.
I'm scared of my waiter.
There you go. There's a... Oh, shit.
Thank you so much. Is that mine?
It's Ray.
It's heavy.
Do you want it?
Is that yours? Was it the one I asked for?
I think, yeah. Here you go.
Looks like he's going to cry.
Don't be sad, little alcoholic.
You took my vodka.
There's your drink.
All right, and Jason brought the avoid the noid sign with a giant noid on it.
What's a noid face that he must have...
From Domino's commercials.
And then he made the body himself, it seems, right?
Yeah.
Oh, it came like this?
I'm fucking sorry I picked it then.
I thought you had some more...
I thought it was more than just putting something on a fucking piece of cardboard.
Wow.
You should have gone with the pregnant guy.
You believe this guy?
What a dick.
You believe this guy?
People bake cakes, man.
What the fuck?
Sorry.
You hung over from your show last night.
Who else has hung over from my show last night?
Me.
I'm hung over from my show last night.
Yeah, that's why we're ordering so many drinks up here.
It's hair of the dog.
Day after noon.
I saw Betsy's. She actually tweeted a picture of herself holding that drinks up here. It's hair of the dog. Day after noon. Oh, I saw Betsy's.
She actually tweeted a picture of herself holding that on Twitter today.
It's very nice.
So I'm glad you chose it.
And it says, it's a nice picture of what I believe is supposed to be Denver.
And it says Denver State of Mind on it.
Yeah, keep it weird, guys.
Because.
Keep it weird.
Wait, other places are weird?
Oh, yeah. Everyone's trying to keep it weird. Wait, other places are weird? Oh, yeah.
Everyone's trying to keep it weird.
Hashtag Denver State of Mind.
That's a way of saying that you're really high
and you think that Denver's a state.
Betsy's high.
That's what happened to me on the show.
Betsy's been smoking reefer cigarettes.
Oh, Betsy. been smoking Rafer cigarettes Oh Betsy
Alright
Thank you
There's no way to hold this without looking like I'm jacking something off
You guys
We gotta go to Doug Loves Movies today
Because they're gonna be recording
And I'm gonna say cannabis
It's about time people got the word
Are you sure you're not gonna say marijuana
No I'm gonna go with cannabis today Everybody else shouts marijuana Edibles It's about time people got the word. Are you sure you're not going to say marijuana?
No, they're going to call it cannabis today.
Everybody else shouts marijuana.
We're not playing build a title anymore, ma'am.
Thank you so much.
Cannaballs of fury.
That would have been accepted.
Joe, did you make this?
No, I stole it you stole
oh
you're so bad
it's that shit
you get in Mexico
they sell them
everywhere
but look it looks like
it was Sherpy
he definitely drew on it
or something
somebody did
and then he stole it
in 1991
his name is probably
not even Joe
nope
his name is Denny
yeah
just beat somebody up at is Denny. Yeah.
Just beat somebody up at the Denny's and took their snake.
You're a real piece of shit, Joe.
I really don't. I don't like you guys talking to my fans like that
you should have heard
the way Doug was talking
oh at the Nerdist show
I wasn't calling people
pieces of shit
I was saying
sit down
shut the fuck up
a few times
shut the fuck up
kind sir
my good man
put a sock in your fuck hole
what
was his name Shun
would you please go fuck yourself?
No
Things have taken a turn for the worse
Here we go, Graham
You won, so we'll start with you
And since Jonah's an established player
We'll go to him next and then to Amber
Give her a little breathing room over here
Thanks, man.
You're welcome.
I don't know if that'll help you or hurt you, but...
I know the rules.
I'm trying.
It's okay.
Would you like to play one of these three categories?
It's Christopher Walken's birthday today,
so the films of Christopher Walken.
Or, at Avis Joel, suggested
My Price,
which is
movies that have Bob
Barker in them.
Oh.
And then, your third
choice, at Kubrick97,
suggested
First 13 PG-13s.
So these are the first 13 movies that got the PG-13 rating
when it was invented in, I think, 1984.
Is that about right, 84?
No, that's right.
That's exactly right.
Doug.
Thanks, Cobra.
Yep.
No props.
Joe Cobra to the rescue.
Sweep the leg.
Get him a body bag!
Yes.
Is that karate casual?
Which category would you like, Graham?
Well, I'm going to have my pet spader neutered and go for Bob Barker.
Bob Barker.
Kind of have to.
All right. Kind of have to. All right.
Kind of have to.
This particular movie that features an appearance by Bob Barker gets two stars from Leonard.
He calls it, he says about this movie that Ben Stiller appears in it unbilled.
And he also says that Barker
is in fact the high point of the movie.
And there are
11 names.
Most people know what it is.
The year was
1996.
And there's 11 names. How many names do you think you get
in it, Graham?
I'll go negative one.
Okay. 11 names. How many names do you think you get in, Graham? I'll go negative one. What are you going to do with that, Jonah?
Negative infinity.
This one only goes to 11.
Ah, shit.
Lick my love pump.
I don't want Jonah to name that
In negative infinity
You don't get to do that yet
He was joking
I know the rules
I can just get it
You're gonna go negative two?
Yeah
Okay
So now Amber
I say name that movie
Name that movie
So what's the name of the movie?
Happy Gilmore
Yes
And then
Who are the top two build people?
Who's the top build person? It'll be Adam Sandler And then Who are the top two Build people Who's the top build person It'll be Adam Sandler
Uh huh
And then who's next
I don't know that
That's why Graham's
Negative one
Was such a clever
Opening bid
Yeah
And I thought I remembered
The guy's name
That was
The bad guy
Every fucking movie
Don't help him anybody Three seconds Three was the bad guy. Every fucking movie.
Don't help him, anybody.
Three seconds.
His character's name was Shooter McGavin.
Two, one.
Bob Barker!
I even heard something
in the audience say it.
Christopher McDonald.
Fuck, that's it!
That's that guy's name.
Is that the second bit?
Huh?
Is that the second billing?
Yeah, you had the right character.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there's no points
for that, but we're really impressed.
Shoot him a Gavin.
Also, a stunning portrayal
of a greedy guy
in Dirty Work with Norm
McDonald. Yes.
Yeah, and he was in... Big Dirty Work fan
club over there in the deep corner.
Thanks, guys. We got together last night and watched it.
He was in
Thelma and Louise.
He's just kind of gross.
He works a lot.
He's in a lot of things.
All right.
I had it in my head.
Don't help you.
Oh, Amber gets the point.
That's right.
Thank you.
I know.
That's right.
I was like, I don't know a lot of movies,
but I don't know how to say name that movie.
All right.
Well done, Amber.
Yeah, but I'm exposing myself.
And it's good.
She picked up a point.
Nice.
Thank you.
Let's do it.
Now we start with Graham again, but this time we come towards Amber.
I know, I know.
It's coming at you, Amber.
I'm just here to make friends.
That snake will protect you.
Which category would you like, Graham?
Would you like, at Brad Radio suggested 10,000 lakes
in honor of today,
and that's movies with the word lake in the title.
Or would you like King of Pancakes category,
the number one movie from five years ago
to this very day,
according to my
sometimes faulty research.
And then
your third option
would be
Simone
Silvana suggested Rocky movies
and that's movies
where an earthquake happens.
Ah.
I will go with 10,000 Lakes.
10,000 Lakes.
Hello, Minnesota!
Would you like a lake movie from 1997 or 2008?
2008.
Okay.
This movie,
Leonard Maltin gives it
two and a half stars.
It's from 2008
and he says about it
that it's provocative
and he also says
that it is well acted.
Two and a half stars.
All Lake movies are.
They are.
You can't go wrong with a movie with the word Lake in the title.
And there are seven names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Graham, Elwood?
Five.
Five names.
Then we go to Amber.
I'll say four.
Okay.
Name that movie.
Jonah Ray.
I knew you were
gonna do that
what with me
saying how good
I am all
the podcast
long
stop grabbing
that thing
like that
how else do you
hold a cobra
yeah seriously
like
alright
let me put my
arm through the
cobra hole
if you stroke
everyone knows
you gotta grab it
by the throat.
My hand's not big enough
to grab it.
Well, then you can't handle a cobra.
Where's the proper throat on the cobra?
If you don't know, then you're already dead.
That's true.
Surprise, surprise.
Jonah can handle a cobra better than I can.
I don't get it.
She's saying he has a big dick.
No, not him.
Other people.
It's kind of a muddled joke.
Yeah, he handles his own sometimes.
All right.
I hope I'd be pretty good at it.
Please stop stroking it because it's going to spit on the front row.
I have to be good at something.
All right.
Thanks, Joe.
Would you like the clues again?
Yeah.
One of us guys should have picked this because you get an erection and bam.
Right.
You don't have to hold it.
Nope.
He almost dropped his an erection and bam. You don't have to hold it. Nope. He almost dropped his Cobra erection.
You just put it right there in the Cobra glory hole.
Where do you put it?
Or you can put it on the ground.
Play a little ring toss.
No, just hold the shaft.
I'm sorry that you guys are getting uncomfortable.
Right?
Thank you, Graham.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm glad that's said.
You know, I like it.
As he holds the sign
over his crotch
so as not to see.
Would you like the clues again?
It's provocative
and some good acting
and it's Lake in the title.
Two and a half stars
from Leonard.
Two and a half stars.
Yeah.
2008.
Provocative.
Well acted.
Four names.
They are
Robert Pine,
Jay Hernandez, Justin Chambers,
and Ron Glass.
The top three names would be very helpful on this one.
I'll also tell you that it's 106 minutes long.
Oh.
That one.
That one.
What do you think Amber?
I think it is Just say a movie
That has the word lake
In the title
Yeah that one's old
Lady of the Lake
Oh
It's a real movie
I would
Is that it?
I thought it was
Lady of the Water
No
1972
Anyway
Is it Lake House?
No
Oh
Great movie.
Sandra Bullock, Keanu Reeves in a mysterious house
that travels through time.
They loved each other centuries apart.
No, just like a year.
It's like 18 months.
The stakes are much lower than I thought.
No, it's not that exciting.
It's actually a movie you love, Graham.
It's a movie called Lakeview Terrace.
Oh, God.
That movie is so fucking bad.
Bad cop. But was it well
acted and provocative? No.
It's stupid and dumb. Sam Jackson,
Kerry Washington,
and who was the white guy in that? Ron Livingston?
Robert Wilson. Patrick Wilson.
Okay, so Jonah
gets a point for doing that to Amber.
Yeah, you and me, Jason.
You and me. Yeah. No, you and me, Jason. You and me.
Yeah.
Noid.
Avoid it, guys.
Graham.
Graham's not on the board yet.
Come on.
Betsy needs this.
This is nuts.
Betsy.
She's going to use this bag of crap to save an orphanage.
No pressure, Graham. Did they get excited when the sweatshirt came out?
They did like that sweatshirt, yeah
The birds are right by your boobs
Everyone's hoping they'll get to wear it
Yep
It's so pretty
Yeah
Okay
I wonder who brought it
I should have picked a less bulky sign
This is fucking irritating
Really?
Really?
I have a 10- Cobra in my lap
Yeah you do
Yeah
Am I right?
That's right
JonahRay.com
After the show
We should go out on the street
And see who can throw it
The farthest
Jesus
I think she was screaming more For the let's go out Into the street Part of it farthest. Jesus.
I think she was screaming more for
the let's go out
into the street
part of it.
She sounded like
she sat on it
with that.
Yeah.
I think they
sell that in
sex world.
That'd be hard
to get that in.
Yeah.
Okay.
You could put it it could be an Easter basket
You could put stuff in here
Did it sound like
I was trying to move on?
A little bit
I'm so invested
Oh I love that episode
From Minneapolis
Where you talked about
A fucking cobra
We couldn't see
Just take a picture of it
90 minutes of cobra talk Take a picture of it, Doug. 90 minutes of Cobra talk.
Take a picture of it.
And Stallone didn't come up once.
You're the disease, I'm the cure.
Cobready.
Cobready.
What about the last 45 minutes of the movie?
Car chase.
Okay.
I don't know what that means, but let's play.
Long car chase.
So Jonah challenged Or wait
Yeah he challenged Amber
Amber
So we're back to Graham again
What the fuck
And this time it'll go towards Jonah
And Graham gets to pick a category
Would you like a four letter movie
That's movies with four letters in time
Like SWAT, Paul, Milk
Or
Milk
Or In Theaters Now That's Milk, or In Theaters Now.
That's movies that are
in theaters now.
And
I Am Paul Bauer
suggested Razzie winners.
That's movies that won
the coveted Razzie Award
for worst motion picture
of the year.
Which one do you think,
Graham?
Razzie,
Dazzy.
Graham does more thinking
on this podcast
than
I would say
He's very strategic
Don't fuck me
Avoid the Noid
Wait a minute
He said he doesn't go to the movies a lot
I'm going to say in theaters now you Noid heaven son of a bitch
Sorry I need a point
Razzy folks.
This movie's in theaters now.
Leonard doesn't give it stars
because he gives kind of a longer review
that I'll have to scroll through
and try to pick out some things
that will not give you any help at all.
That did, though.
Leonard says,
this movie wasn't intended for me.
He only likes movies
that were made specifically for him.
A lot of Hollywood movies
are made for him specifically.
That's why he's a critic
because you've got to please
the guy that's made for him.
Do it for Len, guys.
Yeah.
And that's a wrap on Len.
And then he also says
about this movie that it's
I'll just read you the last paragraph of the review
He says, this movie wasn't intended for me
Come to think of it
I should probably be grateful for that
I should be grateful for that
And then he lists three names
How many names do you think you can get it in? Grandpa would be grateful for that. And then he lists three names. Oh.
How many names do you think you get it in?
Grandpa would.
Oh, fuck.
No.
It is quiet in here.
It's like Tiger Woods time I'll go one name
One name Jonah
It's in theaters now
Name that fucking movie
Alright so
I gotta get a point Betsy
I gotta do something to get a goddamn point
Alright your one name is Jonathan Daniel Brown.
Yeah, JDB's in this movie.
JDB.
There's two other names.
Leonard says it wasn't intended for him,
and it's in theaters now.
What's your guess, Graham?
For a chance to be on the board,
three-way tie. If you miss
it, Jonah Ray will
be our big winner.
I'm going to go with Project X. That's correct!
You're my guest.
I would have been my guest.
That's what I thought, too.
I was hoping
I would get a chance
You will bow down before me
At the beginning of the review
Leonard says it might be a sign of the end of civilization
As we know it
That was not for Leonard
Yeah he didn't care for that
He strikes me as an ecstasy-taken fellow.
They're having a private conversation.
Yeah, what are you guys talking about?
He's talking strategy, kids.
He was saying...
They're teaming up against you, Amber.
But I'm not here to make friends.
He said it would have been Project X or Lorax,
and I said it would have been either Project X or Jump Street,
but Jump Street would have had like 10 or 11 names in it.
So the Lorax as well.
So would Lorax, yeah.
Yeah, and that's why I was like, Project X because a bunch of no-name kids, that's why
they only listed three names.
That's why I went for that.
And these kids, they all have three names, these youngsters.
What is that?
Yeah, because they're all going to kill us.
You know, it's a Screen Actors Guild thing that when you sign up, you can't have a taken
name.
That's why Michael J. Fox is Michael J. Fox because there was already a Michael Fox and
he didn't want to use his real middle initial because who wants to go around saying that they're Michael A. Fox is Michael J. Fox because there was already a Michael Fox. And he didn't want to use his real middle initial because who wants to go around saying that they're Michael A. Fox?
I would.
That sounds awesome.
Michael A. Fox.
All right.
So this is a very exciting three-way tie.
I'm on the board.
This is going to decide it So since who got that point
Graham did and Jonah challenged him
So we'll start with Amber
And then go to Jonah
How do you keep it straight?
I just try to keep it straight
It doesn't work sometimes
AC Canon on Twitter suggested
Requiem for a Bean
That's where movies where Shun Bean dies A.C. Cannon on Twitter suggested Requiem for a Bean.
That's where movies where Shun Bean dies.
I thought it was going to be Mr. Bean movies.
Or Back That Glass Up.
That's movies that feature Kyle Gass or Jack Black or both.
And then Sock Blocker.
That's movies where there's some sort of footwear in the title of the film.
You like Sockblocker?
Sounds silly.
You get to pick from three year options.
Would you like 1970,
1985, or 1992?
Let's do
1992.
Boys to men. I love music.
East Coast Family
Yeah
92
Motown Philly
Back again
Right
Two and a half stars
East Coast Swing
Two and a half stars
1992
Leonard calls this movie
A high tech caper yarn
Because there's nothing
Like high tech yarn And he also says caper yarn. Because there's nothing like high-tech yarn.
And he also says,
why does it jettison every shred of believability toward the end?
He's asking us.
And there are 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names.
11 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in for the win?
For this bag full of stuff.
For a dude that brought a cobra
with a Denny's name tag
that says Joe on it.
I don't believe his name is even Joe, though.
That guy's a house of lies.
His name is forever.
I think I can do it
in
I don't know the order.
Negative two.
What?
Pulling out the big guns at the end.
What just happened?
Did you just acquire
Cobra strength?
I was like, I'm going to sandbag the whole time, you guys.
No.
Or I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
I'm going to go with that one.
She says negative two.
Graham, what are you going to do?
You know what to do.
He wants to.
Yeah, I got to go name that movie.
Okay, I just have one.
Do I name the names?
Name the movie first.
Oh, okay.
Sneakers.
Yeah.
Now you need the top-billed performer.
Top-billed performer, Robert Redford?
Yeah, and then who's next?
Sidney Poitier?
No.
Shit.
Shit.
I was, but you guys did not see that coming at all.
I can't believe that you pulled out sneakers.
Oh, goddamn right.
It's a River Phoenix.
I have Lady Wood this big right now thinking about River Phoenix.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me?
It's so good.
92?
That's my shit.
It goes Robert Redfordford Dan Aykroyd
Ben Kingsley
Mary McConnell
Oh Sydney was way down there
Phoenix
Poitier
I think it was
In alphabetical order
The rest of the people
After Redford
But you guys
You didn't even expect that
Did you?
See Jonah
That was impressive
That was one of the
That was one of the
Most impressive losses
We've ever had
I was
Honestly I thought
It was man with One Red Shoe.
I should have done
That would be full wear as well.
I got greedy.
I got greedy.
Sneakers,
that was great.
I wasn't paying attention
and I thought it was
a different category.
And I really was going to go,
it's Lawnmower Man.
So confident I was.
Cute.
And the one from 1970,
Man with One Red Shoe was 85.. And the one from 1970, the man with one red shoe was 85.
And then the one from 1970
was the computer wore tennis shoes.
I should have done one name.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm officially retiring this category right now.
Would you have challenged me
if I said negative one name?
I probably would have.
Son of a gun.
Yeah, I probably would have.
Pierce Brosnan.
Yep.
Yeah, because Graham wasn't even sure what movie it was,
so he couldn't go negative two.
You overbid a little bit.
I did, but I wanted to go big.
It made for a fun ending.
I blew some minds.
I feel good about it.
So Betsy gets the bag of stuff.
Ah, come on up here, Betsy.
Sorry, Joe.
You know what it is?
I wanted Betsy to get that sweatshirt.
Just once, I'd like to leave a club
after doing this show and just see the prize bag
in the garbage right outside.
Make it happen.
I don't want to carry this around all night.
I'm going to the Mall of America.
Why do I want to already have a bag full
of goods? There you go, Betsy.
Congratulations. Thank you, Betsy.
of goods. There you go,
Betsy. Congratulations. I'm so mad. Thank you, Betsy.
And let's, uh, you gave him the Noid thing back already?
Did you write the shithead on the back?
Okay, so please come up here, sir,
in your Nerdist t-shirt. Did you write something on,
did you write? No, he didn't either, so Joe needs to come up here also. Just step up
on stage right here and we'll have you
write down a shithead. You knew that I knew something. Thank you. Here you go, dude. Just step up on stage right here and we'll have you write down a shithead.
You knew that I knew
something.
Thank you.
Here you go, dude.
Just write down
on one of those lines
right there
that I've cleverly prepared
who you want me
to call a shithead.
Yeah, write it.
Write it down, Joe.
Make sure I can read this.
You got a nervous turn on.
Well, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
I think Joe just drives around
in a Cobra and beat up.
Oh, Joe, here's your Cobra.
Here's your Cobra back.
Thanks for letting me touch your Cobra all podcast, Joe.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
I wonder if the listeners heard him say that into my microphone.
The name that he wrote.
Maybe they did.
Dang it.
So sad.
It's tough.
Nice try, Amber Preston
Ladies and gentlemen
Yay
God damn it
It's fuming
And included
In her prize bag
Graham
Threw in a
Palm strike t-shirt
Palm strike
Yeah
Word
Which some people here
Are wearing them
And he will also be
In the lobby After the show If you want to go grab one from him and wear it proudly.
And Jonah Ray, everybody.
Thanks, everybody.
What do you have to plug?
You got to plug something before we go?
Yeah, in May, my next record's coming out.
Hello, Mr. Magic Playing Person Hello,
available on AST Records.
Boom.
You talk about build a title.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a long one.
Yeah.
And Graham, of course, still has his CD available,
Comedians Got a Boo Boo.
Yeah, all that stuff.
The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movie,
we're taking pre-orders.
That'll be out in May.
We're having a new CD out.
You can go get all of that at GrahamBellwood.com.
Now, I understand
that you wrote
an entire book,
but you didn't use
any articles.
Oh, that's going
to make you so mad.
That guy's the defender
of articles.
And Amber,
what do you got coming up?
You got some gigs?
People can come see you?
Yeah, but I don't know
when this is coming out.
It's coming out soon-ish.
Follow me. Find me at Preston Party. It's coming out soon-ish. Follow me,
find me at Preston Party.
Preston Party?
Preston Party.
My name was taken.
It's just like Sag.
Yeah,
I can do it for Preston.
Just like Sag and After.
That's what Sag always says.
We're just like Twitter.
Yep.
Why don't we do this?
Sag After now.
Everybody that's on Twitter,
go find Amber Preston
on Twitter,
the person that's not you,
and just write,
you know,
yeah,
harass her.
Just say,
could you please give Amber Preston her name back?
Yeah.
Some 15-year-old girl's going to be like,
what's up, everybody?
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah, don't.
She'll know.
That's what Amber Preston's feel like at 15.
Then they watch Sneakers alone at home
Dreaming about what
Prom dress they'll wear
It's just too real
Too real
And then you get older
And you just start choking
Cobras
Yeah
Preston party
Yeah
Yeah
Fantasizing about
Sidney Poitier
Yeah
They call me Mr. Tims
That's what I sound like When I'm doing it So I get real manly about Sidney Poitier. Yeah. They call me Mr. Tins.
That's what I sound like when I'm doing it
so I get real manly.
Anyway,
I feel like I've shared too much.
Way too much.
And thank all of you
for being here.
Fantastic name tags.
Thank you to Acme Comedy Company.
Oh, that's weird.
And Will Durst is here this weekend,
so I guess he just keeps it there to show the audience.
Got this.
Don't have to...
Okay, so...
There's a CD on top of his sign.
Thanks for describing it.
People are on tinter hooks
They're on tinker hooks
Tinker
Stupid
Stupid dog
Stupid dog
What are you seeing there?
What did you become Scottish?
I had nothing to add.
How are you guys?
I hope everybody
had a great time.
I know I did.
It was so fun.
All of my tour dates
and Doug Loves Movies
tapings and stuff like that
are at DougLovesMovies.com
and as always,
Ted Nugent
is a shithead.
Oh, I should have said that one second.
I didn't know you'd like it so much.
This next one's going to make you sad, maybe.
DJ Jazzy Jeff is a shithead.
Aww.
Hit it!