Doug Loves Movies - Ben Bailey, Bridey Elliott, Clare McNulty, Kevin Avery and Graham Elwood guest

Episode Date: August 11, 2015

Back at the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes the stars of "Fort Tilden," Clare McNulty and Bridey Elliott, and comedians Ben Bailey, Kevin Avery and Graham Elwood to the show.... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, today's crazy donut throwing episode from New York City is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. Squarespace is the easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store for you and your ideas. Squarespace features an elegant interface, beautiful templates, and incredible 24-7 customer support. Try Squarespace at squarespace.com and enter the code Doug at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace, build it
Starting point is 00:00:27 beautiful and enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
Starting point is 00:00:58 My name is Doug And you know a lot about me And one of those things is that I love movies My name is Doug, and you know a lot about me. And one of those things is that I love movies! This is Pop-Pop Movies! Coming to you once again from the Gramercy Theater in New York City, one week after the last time we were here. It's Monday, August 10th, I'm pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:01:26 2015. Let me see all the name tags I saw last Monday. There's some repeats for sure, but there's a big Buscemi head, which is scary. Somebody's like, yeah, it was Steve Buscemi. They figured it out. And please, Katie in the front row,
Starting point is 00:01:49 if you could stand up and face the crowd for a second. How fucking scary is this shit? She's got like a, is that from a specific film? What's that? Killer Clowns from Outer Space look like that? That's scarier than those guys for some reason. I think it's scarier if it's a clown's face pulled over your own face. Those clowns were real clowns in that movie, so they're not as scary.
Starting point is 00:02:19 We got the Steph brothers instead of Step Brothers. And I've never looked better in Will Ferrell's clothing or John C. Reilly's. I don't know which one it is. Weird Beyonce. Brian's. He said that so seriously. Brian's. But your name's not Brian's. It's Brian.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah, okay. That's cool. Mean who? Mean Katie's instead of mean girls. Doctor Strange. What? Justin? Mean who? Mean Katie's instead of Mean Girls Dr. Strange What? Justin? Dr. Strange Justin?
Starting point is 00:02:53 Some people are just slapping their names into just anywhere That's the only poster you had access to Ghost Bilsters is back there They've even got a lot in the balcony this time. What's the full metal jacket one? Phil metal jacket. Well, thank you to everybody
Starting point is 00:03:13 for bringing those. I see some donuts. We'll see if those get picked. Holy shit, did I have a good time doing Doug Lowe's movies at the Leicester Square Theatre in London, yeah a trip back to the UK will happen
Starting point is 00:03:28 for sure, Kansas City Missouri, Doug Lowe's movies comes to the improv this Saturday, Rosemont Illinois, I'm doing stand up on Sunday at Zaney's Toby Keith, I love this fucking place adjacent Rosemont Illinois
Starting point is 00:03:44 Phoenix, Dallas Wichita, DougLowe's Keith, I love this fucking place adjacent. Rosemont, Illinois. Phoenix, Dallas, Wichita. DouglasMovies.com for all of that stuff. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. TiredMemeCat on Twitter, in reference to last Thursday's GOP presidential debate, tweeted, This shit show is like choosing
Starting point is 00:04:04 what form Gozer will appear as this has been tree relief shit show edition the prize bag has got some lovely things in it that I brought from there's a photograph I was given at the Traverse City Film Festival which i assume is
Starting point is 00:04:26 a picture of somewhere in traverse city uh we've got i've been got a few of these to give away over the next few episodes and i'm very excited about it because i love the subject matter uh kyle burbank's book the e-ticket life stories Stories, Essays, and Lessons Learned from My Decidedly Disney Travels. I was reading on the airplane today all about Tokyo Disney and the differences. Us Disney nerds like to discuss, does it have a bear country jamboree? No, it's got Captain EO. And then I say, I was in that, and the conversation stops. I brought a copy of Promotional Tool, of course, and oh, a 20-pound
Starting point is 00:05:08 note that I didn't spend in London. It's always a fun game in the airport to try to spend all your pounds, and I failed. Also some sunglasses somebody gave me somewhere that I'm not going to wear. A cookie they gave me when I checked into the hotel today. All of that plus what my five guests bring out here. We got some newbies and some oldbies and they are divided
Starting point is 00:05:40 on sexual lines. Please give a big warm welcome to Bridie, Elliot, Claire McNulty, Kevin Avery, Ben Bailey, and Graham Elwood! Take control, Graham Mercy. Take control of Grand Mercy. Take control
Starting point is 00:06:08 of your theater. Hi, guys. Is that the guy that always yells Ben Bailey? It's a new Ben Bailey guy? Fucking Ben Bailey guys.
Starting point is 00:06:25 They make me sick. Let's meet the newbies, you guys, before we do anything else. Please give a big warm, again, welcome to Bridie Elliott and Claire McNulty. Bridie, closer to me. Claire, there's more distance there between us. That's not in relation to where they are on the stage, just from the green room. No. Stars of
Starting point is 00:06:50 the new hilarious motion picture that's coming out this Friday in some markets and on VOD everywhere. A motion picture called Fort Tilden. Has anybody seen it already? You did? Just the director. Tell us out loud. How great is it?
Starting point is 00:07:12 It's great. Oh. already you did tell us tell us out loud how great is it oh I wish all critics were that easy good answer just repeat after me critic it's very fun it's to me it won this South by Southwest was it the grand prize grand Grand jury prize. Yeah, grand jury fucking prize. Hello. That's a music festival, though, isn't it? Aww. That's all the more reason to be proud of them for winning. But no, it's
Starting point is 00:07:38 probably the third or fourth most prestigious film festival in the world at this point. I don't know the specifics. We'll take that. It's really prestigious. It's a really good ranking. But also it's, you know, I hate to say a word like hipster or something like that, but, you know. But you did. Previously, they, you know, they've given Lena Dunham awards for her films there.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Like that's where films like that flourish. And it reminded me of the great Martin Scorsese film, After Hours, but in the daytime and trying to get to the beach instead of home. Yeah. Hope I didn't spoil it for anybody. But also, did you film that in the warm weather
Starting point is 00:08:23 or did you have to pretend that it was warm when you were shooting beach scenes? We had to pretend, yeah, during the beach. And towards the end of the shoot, it got a lot colder, because we shot like two years ago at the end of August into September. When global warming wasn't so severe, so it was a lot colder two years ago.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I don't know if you remember. Yeah. But so, yeah, there was a lot of cold. But, yeah, the ocean was freezing at the end because we did it the last two weeks of August. Spoiler. Not only do they get to the beach, they get into the ocean. Sorry. But you don't know whether we drown.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yeah, that's true. And there's just so much fun along the way. You just have a lot of crazy adventures, and I'm thrilled to have you on the podcast. I just realized I watched the trailer for this the other day. Hey. Did you like the trailer? I was sitting down there talking to you guys, and now I feel like an asshole. I'm like, holy shit, I was just looking at that.
Starting point is 00:09:18 It looks hilarious. You were just saying you're an asshole. I know. I know. That is so crazy. I know. I'm sure they did say that. They both have different hair than in the movie. So that's in your defense. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Yeah. Yeah. So fuck you. We're just really good. I mean, we take it as a compliment. We're really, you know, we're so, such good actors. So versatile. Yes. And so different in person. And that speaking just now is Kevin Avery, everybody.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Hey, folks. How are you? Tremendous stand-up comedian and also a writer on a show that I just am so proud of you for being a writer on it because every time I watch it, I go, this shit is way too smart and awesome. It's a little program called
Starting point is 00:10:03 This Week with John Oliver. Awesome show. Thank you. And didn't they recently, like, use your picture as an example of somebody that was a criminal or something? I was a bounty hunter called Richard the Screwdriver. And I don't know. I'm not Richard, and I don't use a screwdriver, but fuck it.
Starting point is 00:10:27 They made me look kind of menacing, too. I was impressed with their work. Look at me. I don't look like a bounty hunter. No, you do kind of look like a Richard, though. Do we? Do I? Really? I see what you did there. Dick. Are we going to do this all night? All fucking nights?
Starting point is 00:10:43 I don't know if I'm smart enough for that Can I change seats? Let's talk to some white guys Yeah Alright It's about time we got our fucking due Tired of getting kicked around This god damn socialist Obama country
Starting point is 00:11:01 Noted Bane impersonator And always the winner of the Pete Holmes award It's Graham country. Your time is over. Noted Bane impersonator and always the winner of the Pete Holmes Award. It's Graham Elwood, everybody. Thank you, New York. Oh, my God. People love him.
Starting point is 00:11:16 What? I said people love you. It's fun. I like... I don't think I've done this show here in New York in a couple years. Yeah, it's been a while.
Starting point is 00:11:23 I think the last time you did it here, everybody got really drunk and I threw everybody off the stage at the end. I think I was here then, too. I don't think you were. But that's soon coming to Basic Cable. They're finally doing a spinoff. He's the host of Cash Crab.
Starting point is 00:11:43 It takes place at the beach on a cold day and if people don't win, they have to get in the water with Bridie and Claire. It's Ben Bailey! A name people love to yell out in a theater. What's my name?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Billy! That's fucking awesome. You've got to do that everywhere. You've got to just walk into a deli. I don't think it'll work anywhere else. I think that's part of this cult and no other place. I think you're right. It works at home and here, and that's it.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Well, it's nice to have you back. The wife and the kids are terrified. That's how it is at my house. If you live there, you shout my name like that. Yeah, it's really intense. You want to eat breakfast? You better shout my fucking name when I say what's
Starting point is 00:12:42 my name. I assume you're talking to your cat when you're doing that. Cat, the fish, the dogs, the whores, anybody that wants to fucking sleep there. Seriously though, Ben. The whores.
Starting point is 00:12:58 That was whores, plural, not horse. Is Cash... I don't expect a fucking horse to yell my name. It's ridiculous. Is Cash Uber going to be a reality? I want to see Cash Uber. Technically,
Starting point is 00:13:10 he sleeps outside anyway. What? Where taxi drivers attack the car while they're trying to answer trivia questions. I got to ask Graham Elwood to tell us a little something
Starting point is 00:13:23 about, because it's almost here, and I think you can still get tickets, the L.A. Podcast Festival. L.A. Podfest. Yeah, well, we just announced today that Audible.com is the big overall sponsor. So it's going to be the Audible Presents 2015 L.A. Podfest that will have Doug Loves Movies and Dining with Doug and Karen and 30-some other shows. So go to lapodfest.com. And you can buy the live stream if you can't make it out to L.A. That's $25, but with coupon code, I believe, Benson or DLM.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I think it's DLM or maybe also Dining. Dining. Yeah, if you're a Dining with Doug and Karen fan. Either one of those, you get five bucks off. So you can watch the whole weekend and for three weeks after for 20 bucks. Yeah, but come to California. Come to the coast. We'll have some laughs.
Starting point is 00:14:14 You can watch Ben yell at crabs. It's fucking great. We'll take off our shoes and we'll curl our feet into the carpeting until terrorists take over the building. Yep. Graham, what'd you bring for the prize bag, buddy? I bought an autographed copy of the Comedy Film Nerd Guide
Starting point is 00:14:29 to Movies. Yes. Ow! So I'm anxious to see whose autograph is in there. Oh, it says Graham Elwood. Okay, that's an obvious one. All right.
Starting point is 00:14:43 I'll sign it too, but I'm going to just sign right on the front. Who does that? My name's on the front. I wrote the foreword, so I believe I'm allowed to be very forward in signing the cover of the book. Kevin, would you like to sign it? There you go. That's the coolest way everybody's ever held their microphone.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Right on the top. Wow. It's like you're ready to take a call. Jesus. All right, everybody, buckle up. I didn't mean to do this. I didn't mean to do this. I apologize.
Starting point is 00:15:14 How do you do that? That's some real rogue nation shit right there. Ben Bailey, what do you got? All right, I have. What you brought got? I brought got some good shit, dog. Look, it's in your own bag. The Nerf.
Starting point is 00:15:28 The Nerf. With, uh... A Pez dispenser? Yeah, a Minion. I just gave one away in the UK. A Minion Pez dispenser. Oh, it's Minion? Everybody who loves Indespicable Me.
Starting point is 00:15:40 The trouble with Minions is you just don't see them anywhere. Why are they so shy? They skitter underneath the furniture when you turn the lights on. A copy of my first CD that I recorded myself. So the sound is terrible, but it's fucking funny. And this picture on the front, I actually, this is how long ago I made this. I actually made a sign that said the words Ben Bailey Boulevard on it and nailed it to a fucking post in a field.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Like this is pre-Photoshop, you know? I actually had to fucking do this. I'm kneeling in a wheat field to make it look like that. It's really nice. So the cover looks great, but the sound sucks. So I threw one of these in, too. It was a DVD, my Road Rage and Accidental Ornithology DVD. Sometimes you study ornithology by accident.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Yeah, of course. Makes sense. And it's all in a Who's Still Standing bag, which is from a show that I hosted on NBC, a game show, where people drop through trap doors if they got the trivia questions wrong. Oh, I remember that. Which was pretty fucking cool, but it turns out it's a little dangerous.
Starting point is 00:16:50 And that's it. That's my addition to tonight's gift bag. Just pass it down and sign the book if you don't mind. Make sure I get that sharpie back. I'll sign this right under Frank Sinatra. Wow, flimsier bag than it looks.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Oh, I don't know. I'm going to go ahead and transfer everything into the laundry bag that I brought. That's a solid bag. Claire McNulty, what do you have for us today? That whole food's that bag. I'm good. Graham, sign it again. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:17:27 He's already signed it, so I'm just going to go ahead and pass it back toward you. Oh, we're passing it back. Sorry. I have a drink in one hand. Oh, God. What do you got for the prize money, Claire? I'm fucking up Doug's whole show, as usual. I'm not trying to, but I'm totally fucking up.
Starting point is 00:17:43 So our movie is about two girls who are trying to get from Williamsburg to Fort Tilden, and they have a lot of trouble along the way. Okay, don't spoil it. Do you guys go to the beach at all? The beach is called Fort Tilden. I can't answer that. And so we thought it might be
Starting point is 00:18:01 nice to offer a prize where it makes it really easy to get to Fort Tilden. So nowadays there are these party buses that run from Williamsburg to Fort Tilden. And it's this Saturday. So whoever gets it better be fucking ready to party. This girl in the fourth row, she's like, fucking party bus. Do you have a birthday sash and you're just going to vomit on your high heels later? It's two tickets so you can go with your friend.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Yeah, exactly. The thing that you're looking at right now, Doug, I think which is making you uncomfortable is that there's a waiver. You have to sign a waiver. You have to sign the waiver. You can't sign the waiver. No beach if you don't sign the waiver. Got to sign the waiver. So are't sign the waiver. No beach if you don't sign the waiver. Gotta sign the waiver. So, are you ready?
Starting point is 00:18:48 That's what would keep your... I'll repeat that. Your characters would not get to the beach via this bus because one of you would refuse to sign the waiver. There would be a character that I pitched. You have to sign the waiver. And that's what she does. That's her scene. That's her whole...
Starting point is 00:19:04 Yeah, she doesn't want to sign the fucking waiver. What could happen on the bus that you would have to sign a waiver? Well, I was just about to bring up a really sad story, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to.
Starting point is 00:19:19 People die on party buses all the time, you guys. It's not a fucking joke. Party bus crashing is an issue. It's going to be a serious issue in the 2016 presidential debate. So. I heard that Donald Trump's going to build a big wall around party buses. Weirdly, Donald Trump has his own party bus and it's full of underage women. On their periods.
Starting point is 00:19:46 So... Yeah, and then he just goes, you're fired, and kicks him off the bus. Good stuff. Kevin, what do you got for the prize bag, buddy? Oh, I...
Starting point is 00:19:55 You got your own bag. I got my own bag. You got a lot of bags and envelopes. It's the last week tonight tote bag, and then there's... That's the best reaction a tote bag's gotten on this show.
Starting point is 00:20:08 I don't know what the fuck just happened, but... As, like, one of the three black people in this room, I am scared shitless right now. So, okay, I see you wooing, bro, but you better have my back if some shit goes down. And one guy pointed... What the fuck? Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:27 I got a bag of some shit. There's a Last Week Tonight mug in the air. John Oliver's in here. There's a Last Week Tonight hat. Nice. And a t-shirt. They love the Last Week Tonight swag. I know.
Starting point is 00:20:43 It's just a bunch of crap. There's a t-shirt in here somewhere. I don't know. I don't have's just a bunch of crap. There's a t-shirt in here somewhere. I don't know. I don't have to prove it to you. It's fucking in here. It also says last week tonight. Is this what they pay you with? This is my paycheck. And then
Starting point is 00:20:58 this is a lunchbox? I don't know what the fuck this is. What? That's what they said. That's what they said. That's what they said. That's what they said. That's what they said. Yeah, I can see that. It's insulated. If you don't have anything that's too squashable, you can just throw it in there and zip it up.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Got my lunch. So, you know, and that's that. Weird. All right. All of that's going to be somebody's, along with all the great prizes. Thank you to everybody. Thank you for bringing such good stuff. And let's start with Graham there on the other end.
Starting point is 00:21:39 And tell us, Graham, have you been to the cinema? Actually, I finally got to see Trainwreck, and that movie is goddamn hilarious. The movie is so hilarious movie so funny like it's rare to like a comedy front to back like no I love the whole thing
Starting point is 00:21:51 I like to wipe front to back but you're right come on Doug alright I've just never heard that expression other than
Starting point is 00:22:00 in wiping situations that's the only time it's ever used. Front to back. I liked it front to back. How was that football game? Oh, sweet. Front to back.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Front to back. Good game. Hey, that's how I wipe my ass. We should go out together. I have a sweet weird lunchbox that looks like a Muppet. That's terrific that you love train wreck. Can you turn anybody on to
Starting point is 00:22:25 a newer, like an independent film or something that might not be on their radar? A great little indie film called Fantastic Four. Wow, is that a boring bag of dicks? That's all I got. I got wiping front to back
Starting point is 00:22:43 and I got fucking bag of dicks. That's what I got for you. The four back. I got wiping front to back, and I got fucking bag of dicks. That's what I got for you. The four people that play the Fantastic Four are terrific young actors. I know. When you see them doing press, it looks like they're at jury duty. Like they all are contractually obligated. You're not contractually obligated to support your film, are you, Bridie, Claire? Support it?
Starting point is 00:23:04 Not contractually. Yeah. No. You're not being forced to do this today. No, no, no. Okay, good. It wasn't like... I mean, we're both scared.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I know. Does that count? I think... It's just hard to get Ben Bailey seated far enough away from you to not... Yeah, look at that. He's just scary. He can't help it. Have you been to the movies lately, Ben?
Starting point is 00:23:31 Maybe with your kids or something? I haven't gone to the movies in a long time. But what have you seen on your personal device after the kids are asleep? What I've watched of late, I watched Interstellar. You're having trouble sleeping or something? Not until... That's one that purists will yell at you for not watching it in a big, huge theater
Starting point is 00:23:54 and it's a big sound and everything. Yeah, well, I have a big screen in my house. Oh, okay. Fancy. Because you're rich. No. No, it's actually cheaper than a big screen TV if you get a projector. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Like reel-to-reel, the whole deal? Reel-to-aim it at. But I'm a Christopher Nolan fan, so I was like, I have to watch Interstellar, even though I'm kind of like, oh, what's this going to be? Like, you know. But I thought it was good. You got through it all right? I did. I enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:24:27 That always sounds like a glowing recommendation. I did. Yeah. It was okay. I watched it. I just wasn't crazy about it.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Me neither. Movies don't have to reconcile. The facts, the storyline like movies don't have to reconcile the facts. The storyline of movies do not have to reconcile the way they once did. People watch them and just go, oh, that was cool. It captivated me, but at the end, if I can't put the pieces together, I'm like, bullshit.
Starting point is 00:24:57 You take that puzzle back to the store. Take it back and go, this fucking puzzle doesn't fit together. I've been jamming them against each other all day. I want my money back. It's another movie. I'd like to see the real five and a half hour version that they shot. Do you think that would make it better?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Oh, Jesus Christ. And then you could really understand it all, at least. Well, that's when Batman shows up and tries to get Catwoman back. I don't know that they shot a five and a half hour version. It's just a guess. Yeah, well, you just made that up. I did just make that up. Is that how you did it on Cash Cap?
Starting point is 00:25:28 Yep. Just making it up as you go? Wrong! Roosevelt! You just asked me what the best, the top disco song from the 70s was.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I don't remember Roosevelt being one. Only during stoplight challenges. Stop sign challenges, even quicker. Claire, what about you? I enjoyed watching it. Have you seen any movies lately? What movies have I seen?
Starting point is 00:25:56 Yeah. Before I do this, I just want to say, I think it'd be really fun if Interstellar just turned into Armageddon at the end. I haven't actually seen Interstellar, but I feel like those two movies should be the same movie. No, they're very different.
Starting point is 00:26:09 It's okay. That's what would make it good. Contact and Interstellar, maybe. I saw Trainwreck also, and I enjoyed myself very much. I watched Minority Report on the plane yesterday. Really? Yeah, with commercials.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Hello. What? Why did you... Why'd I do that? Why'd you watch that movie? You'd never seen it before? No, I'd seen it before. I just...
Starting point is 00:26:33 My computer was out of juice and I had no idea what to do. So I watched Minority Report and I loved those tiny little spiders. Do you guys remember those spiders? Oh, yeah. They're scary. I don't... Do you guys remember those spiders? Oh, yeah. They're scary. I don't...
Starting point is 00:26:47 You don't remember those spiders? I just... The only thing I think of whenever I think of Minority Report is Tom Cruise going... Doug, we're almost there. That's the whole movie. We're so close to that being reality, though.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Now Robert Downey Jr. does it in every movie he's in. Yeah. I know. Avengers, Due Date, The Judge. Like what? Yeah, that's how he talks to Robert Duvall. You are a bad father.
Starting point is 00:27:16 So what is going to be the future after that, you know? Like how are they going to do future movies where people are touching screens that aren't there anymore i think that uh yeah you don't have an answer i think even tom cruise couldn't have could have predicted a car that parks itself like that's there's some crazy shit in in our actual future that's right now it's not that crazy it's not that crazy. It's not that crazy. It's just weird. It's just like... Oh, yeah. Does the computer
Starting point is 00:27:48 that's parking in your car, does it, like, do a bad job if people are watching? That's how it normally works. I'm great at payload parking if there's nobody in the passenger seat.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Does a hand come out of the dashboard and just accidentally slap the person in the passenger seat when it puts the look behind you? All right, I guess I'm the only guy who does that.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Fuck off. Bridie? I saw a different Tom Cruise movie. Can you guys guess? It's in theaters right now. Oh. Mission Impossible? Mission Impossible 5.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Am I Rogue rogue nation? Yeah, right. I didn't know the second part. No idea that was the second part. Well, you know, because everybody in that movie, everybody goes so rogue in that movie. Yeah, I felt like he's like...
Starting point is 00:28:41 From what I heard. It's a nation of people going rogue. If a whole nation goes rogue, it's not really going rogue at all, is it? It's just being a nation. It's a status quo. What a stupid name. Well, check out the movie. Mission Impossible 6, a group of individuals.
Starting point is 00:29:05 I don't know. I mean, Ghost Protocol, you can't, it's hard to top Ghost Protocol for just two random words thrown together. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:14 and then a picture of a guy in a hoodie, like that's Ghost Protocol. Ghost Face Killer Protocol. But what did you say you saw oh yeah it's an impossible and you liked it or no i was i mean i slept a lot oh okay you got some naps in yeah i thought i thought it was good when i was awake but there was friend. This was my friend's opinion who had seen other Mission Impossible, which I hadn't. This was my first.
Starting point is 00:29:50 She said that there was no sense of danger. That's why we all fell asleep. I like that critique. Isn't that smart? I like that. Doesn't that sound smart? I have a theory that you fell asleep because Alec Baldwin, even when he's yelling, is still whispering. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:07 So it's very easy to just, when they're... He's also got really meaty hands, and you just know if the problem is in his hands, it's going to be okay. Because he can handle whatever, you know? Just meaty hands. Wait, Baldwin or Tom Cruise? Baldwin has meaty hands. Wait, Baldwin or Tom Cruise? Baldwin has meaty hands. Oh, guess! Guess! Tom Cruise, meaty hands, or Alec Baldwin?
Starting point is 00:30:33 Hey, look, we're all getting older. You hang off the side of a plane long enough, your hands are going to get meaty. Yeah! Shit should be swollen as fuck! Okay, so he gets into the plane, right? They open the door for him. And then he attaches himself
Starting point is 00:30:47 to all those, what looks like bombs or something that are in the back of the plane, right? Yeah. And then he's like, ha ha! And he cuts the cord and him and the bombs are going to fall out of the back of the plane. And then they go to the opening credits and never mention it or show that again.
Starting point is 00:31:03 To me, it's like, okay, yeah, he got in the plane, but it's just as interesting how he gets back down to the ground safely. But he's fucking Ethan Hunt, so you don't need to worry, and there's no sense of danger. Ethan Hawk. Yeah, he's fucking Ethan Hawk. Is that what you said? I haven't seen this movie.
Starting point is 00:31:24 His name's Ethan Hunt, but you might have slept through that part. They don't mention his full name while he's hanging off the side of the plane. It's just Benji, Ethan, Ethan, Benji. They completely did not. I thought you were joking, like, referring to Ethan Hawke. I thought you were, too. It would be fun if I was. I thought you...
Starting point is 00:31:43 I would enjoy it. I'm sorry. Don't be. Kevin? I also saw Rogue Nation. But I loved it. Don't say it like you're going to get attacked. Like I'm...
Starting point is 00:31:55 I can't tell. I'm in the minority report on this. Nice callback. I've been arguing with people about it. People love it to me it was just like an assemblage of the kinds of things that have happened in all of the Mission Impossible movies without the danger
Starting point is 00:32:11 without any real I hate that they can just constantly go I'm on this side now I'm going to take this mask off now and I'm going to be this instead it's just all funhouse mirrors and no true reflection. Wow.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Holy shit. Whoa, getting on the for real tip, bro. No true reflection. Is that genuinely what you're looking for when you go to a Mission Impossible movie? Tony, Ghost Protocol pulled it off. It did.
Starting point is 00:32:43 A little gentleman named Brad Bird directed that and I'm looking forward to The Incredibles Part 2. Because The Incredibles is the best Mission Impossible movie. It's definitely not better than 3 and 4. It's just below those.
Starting point is 00:33:00 And then the first two to me don't exist. Two is a piece of shit. But that's where the series got off to a bad start. In number one, I think his name is Jim Phelps, played by Jon Voight. He's the guy in charge of the agency. And he turns out to be the bad guy. It's like, can you fucking relax? Maybe do that two or three pictures in?
Starting point is 00:33:16 Like, why such a big reveal in just the first one? Or how about never do that? How about that's like, oh, this one, Alfred's going to go. He's going to work with the Joker that's the fucking dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life
Starting point is 00:33:28 Jim Phelps is never gonna fucking turn on that's never gonna goddamn happen it's bullshit get the fuck out of here
Starting point is 00:33:35 Jesus Christ but I can but Graham I can see it now I can see it now are you ready for your makeup sir that's Alfred working with the Joker.
Starting point is 00:33:47 So... I guess I should have done a Michael Caine impression. Yeah, that was... Instead of just a generic Alfred voice. Are you ready for your makeup? Nice. Who the fuck was that? Mr. Bean?
Starting point is 00:34:04 Who the fuck was that? No, Bean? Who the fuck was that? No, you were right. You should do it with an impression. Hello, you ready for your makeup? While you put on your makeup, I'm gonna drink
Starting point is 00:34:14 my phony blanca. Can we just do an hour of dueling Alfreds? I bet you we could. Also, I saw Fantastic Four today. Really? Yeah. Like, just because you felt like you needed to see something to prepare for tonight?
Starting point is 00:34:32 I just wanted to see it. Why? I don't know. I don't know. Did you pay for a different movie and sneak in at least? No. What movie? I walked in there with my own free will and money.
Starting point is 00:34:45 What did you see? Fantastic Four. Fantastic Four. Look, I knew it would be. You want to fucking turn on me? I just wanted to see, you know, but yeah, it was a...
Starting point is 00:34:53 What would you... Dicks? Lots of dicks? Yeah, there's a bag of dicks. Bag of dicks. Bag of dicks? Bag of dicks. I think it was a boring bag of dicks.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Yeah, boring bag of dicks. Got hit with a dick in that movie. Do you think they were trying too hard to be like a serious Christopher Nolan take on Fantastic Four and then that's why he got so dreary? I think, yeah, and I think that's the problem
Starting point is 00:35:15 that has happened since the Dark Knight movies. It's like, oh, we gotta make it gritty. No, you don't. Like Superman didn't, Superman's never been gritty. Superman's always been woo-woo, fucking bright and apple pie and this one was just boring.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Did you see Man of Steel, dude? Oh. Yeah, Man of Steel sucked. Yes, exactly. I liked Man of Steel better than I liked Fantastic Four. What about that movie? Well, you could list off
Starting point is 00:35:39 about a million movies right now that you like better than Fantastic Four. That's really no way to judge. But what about Focus? The Will Smith movie? Yeah, what about Focus? Was that a real movie
Starting point is 00:35:52 or was that a billboard? I thought that was an ad for sunglasses. I thought the movie was called Don't Lose Focus because all the ads had don't lose in front of the word focus. But then they both had sunglasses on.
Starting point is 00:36:08 You don't know who it is. Yeah, that's a weird movie. I was looking for new focus sunglasses. It just made pickpocketing look like something you could learn in an afternoon. The girl becomes so great at it so fast and nobody wants her. She goes, my wallet! Which I think I would do if I didn't have my wallet
Starting point is 00:36:27 firmly attached to my ass. Yeah, that was a weird movie. How the most weird did you see that? What? Focus. Where did I see it? Yeah. Like, in a motion picture theater? They're having trouble, the projectionist was having trouble though so I did have to yell focus a few times
Starting point is 00:36:47 oh brother well done sir well done I don't trust an audience that gets that excited about a bag that says last week with John Oliver on it I can't trust your judgment. Don't know what the fuck is happening.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Well, here's another one you'll enjoy. I saw Run All Night on the airplane. Not about diarrhea. I was hoping... I was hoping that Liam Neeson was a man with a set of skills that do not come in handy when you're suffering from diarrhea. Is that the movie with the guy from The Following?
Starting point is 00:37:32 That guy from The Following, you know? Kevin Bacon? No. You mean the bad guy in The Following? Sounds like no. I think no. But maybe. He's his son?
Starting point is 00:37:44 People are muttering. Yeah, yeah, that's probably the guy. Is that like Take-10 or something? Kyle Tinaman or something like that? Yeah, yeah, Tinaman. Joel. Joel Tinaman. Joel Tinaman.
Starting point is 00:37:52 I like him. He's in both. Good. Bam, we did it. He's in both. And nobody here knows his father. If it's wrong, contact the corrections department.
Starting point is 00:38:00 He's a miserably. He's a baby, you dummy. He's in The Killing, right? Nobody knows who he is. Joel Kinnaman. Was the new Robocop also. Bob Flynn. You said the following.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Let's not get in the mood to yell out shit. The Killing. The Killing. Johnny Rinneman. Here's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin oh shit
Starting point is 00:38:29 I was born in the darkness bring your name tags out of the shadows oh my god scariest name tag ever right up front ok wait but anyway each of my guests please put down your microphones and go pick a name tag that you want to play for.
Starting point is 00:38:48 The giant Steve Buscemi head is suddenly saying Ben Bailey. So he probably just brought a blank words bubble and then slapped it on there when he saw Ben. So just so you know, Ben, There's a minion out there, Ben. Oh, he's taking the bait. Good job. All right, we'll be right back after these messages. Once again, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Building a website can be tough,
Starting point is 00:39:18 and even if you do know your way around coding, creating something that looks good and works well is a time-consuming affair, whether it's for a business site, a portfolio, a restaurant, or whatever else. In this day and age, you probably need one anyway. Well, lucky for us, Squarespace makes it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat. Squarespace provides simple, powerful, and beautiful websites that look professionally
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Starting point is 00:40:25 make sure to use the offer code Doug to get 10% off your first purchase and to show your support for Doug Loves Movies. We thank Squarespace for their support of Doug Loves Movies. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Back to the show. We're back, and Graham picked out the creepy killer clowns mask. Woo! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Killer Clowns mask.
Starting point is 00:40:51 I'm going to make a balloon animal out of your head. I don't like that at all, Graham. I don't like it when you find a new character. A new crazy voice. And that's Katie who made that. Yay, Katie! Yeah, Katie. A new crazy voice. And that's Katie who made that. That's pretty cool.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Yay, Katie! Yeah, Katie. What's your Twitter, Katie Freeman? With no initial or anything? Kate, zero Freeman. Kate, Kate, Kate, zero Freeman. All right, good luck finding her. And Ben Bailey's playing for the Buscemi head
Starting point is 00:41:26 yeah giant Steve Buscemi head he slapped a Ben Bailey thing on there if someone told me when I was a kid one day you'll see a giant picture of Steve Buscemi across a crowded room and you'll be drawn to it you'll run right to it
Starting point is 00:41:42 and grab it and run back so what's the name of the lady that made that one? what's your name? to it. Yeah, you would never believe that. You'll run right to it and grab it and run back. It's a dream. So what's the name of the lady that made that one? What's your name? Sarah, because you know the idea is to make a name tag. Oh, okay. That's the best place for your name on a name tag is on the part we can't see.
Starting point is 00:41:59 But there's also probably a shithead on the back too, so don't read that, Ben. Okay. Am I supposed to be reading something that's on here? Keep it together. No, no, we just figured out her name is Sarah, so we're good. I mean, am I supposed to be reading something that's on here? Graham, stop it with the crazy voices. What are you talking about, Doug?
Starting point is 00:42:21 Claire, who are you playing for? I'm playing for, it says, Bill Manley having to do digital. Oh, shit. What happened? That's the thing I was just saying. Don't read the thing on the back. We'll read that at the end if you lose. Oh.
Starting point is 00:42:35 But you're playing for Billbusters. I'm playing for Ghostbillsters. Billsters. Ghostbillsters. Not Billbusters. Ghostbillsters. Ghostbillsters. Is it okay?. Ghost Bilsters. Ghost Bilsters. Is it okay?
Starting point is 00:42:46 Is everything okay? And he sounds like he's got an elaborate shithead on the back. Bridie, who are you playing for? Jack and Jill? The movie? The people from the movie gave this to me. Which one is here, Jack or Jill? Or is that a team effort?
Starting point is 00:43:03 Jill. Jill, okay. Jill. Cool. Good job, Jill. And you put? Or is that a team effort? Jill. Jill, okay. Cool. Good job, Jill. And you put some, is that what attracted you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To find this little bottle.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Yeah, no, this area of the poster. Do you want to drink that? Yes, she does. I say tear it off and drink it right now. That's peer pressure. Drink it. Drink it. Guys, I am actually...
Starting point is 00:43:28 That's every movie and TV show where a woman's not drinking it's because she's pregnant. There's no other reason to not drink. But that's okay. You don't have to drink it right now. I'll sip it. I mean, if that's what you guys want me to do,
Starting point is 00:43:44 I'll fucking sip it. I'm not going to chug it and have to go to drink it right now. I'll sip it. I mean, if that's what you guys want me to do, I'll fucking sip it. I'm not going to chug it and have to go to the emergency room tonight. Good call. Hey, donut man, toss me one. Let's throw some goddamn donuts at some shit. Oh! Give me that whole box. That never happens in sports.
Starting point is 00:44:03 You got half of it. Oh, my God! That never happens in sports You got half of it Oh my god Oh Doug just took a donut Straight to the balls To the people at home Doug just took a donut straight to the balls And it's a glazed one too One game of ring toss My balls are glazed
Starting point is 00:44:20 But that's the great It's the great thing about a donut Even hurled hard at your balls, it's still just a donut. So it's not too painful. But this other one just fell apart in my hand when I caught it. But this one's in good
Starting point is 00:44:38 shape. This one's going to the balcony. Oh! Oh! I'm going to hit the back row of the balcony. As it turns out. Oh, give me some. I'm going to hit the back row of the balcony. Very front of the balcony, as it turns out. Who are you playing for, Kevin? Oh, Jesus Christ. The war is about to go down in here.
Starting point is 00:44:57 I'm playing for Boba Fett, this gentleman right there. And he's got a full on. Wait, which one? It's you, right? Yeah, right. There you go. It's a full-on Boba Fett helmet. You were actually wearing it.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Was it... How'd it smell in there? It's hot as fuck. Yeah. It smells all right. All right. Smells... Have you worn this before?
Starting point is 00:45:16 Not since I was ten. Well, all right. I'm the next to catch a predator. Okay. Well, all right, I'm the next to catch a predator. Okay. You didn't know what you were saving that for until now, did you? All right, well.
Starting point is 00:45:35 Put it on. Thank you. Put it on. He did have it on already. I did put it on. He walked around with it on, yeah. I was all excited. Shit already happened. That was nice. Now walked around with it on, yeah. Shut up. I was all excited. Shit already happened. I was nervous.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Now fall into the Sarlacc pit. What did... Did you catch me? What are you doing with your water right now? I got donut all over my hands, so I'm using my own cocktail... Oh, you're cleaning your hands? ...to clean my hands. You're going to drink it anyway, right?
Starting point is 00:46:03 You know, alcohol is one of the better cleaning agents. Yeah, I heard that. None of us could open the whiskey. Yeah, we couldn't open it. What? Boba Fett can open that fucker. One try. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:16 FYI, Ben. Thank you. Thank you. Ben couldn't open it either. All right, Graham's got a whole bag of dick donuts now. Bag of dick donuts. Here it either. All right. Graham's got a whole bag of dick donuts now. Bag of dick donuts. Here it comes. They're ready. Oh, balcony.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Did I hit the sound guy? I'm sorry, dude. Right in the kisser. Hit him right in the mouth. He's going to cut off my mic. You got more there? Yeah. All right. Let's just get this over with. We're not here to throw donuts. Just like middle school for me.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Oh, this guy's got a target. I'm going to hit that fucking target. Oh, yeah. Hit that fucking target. Oh. I got a point. I got a point. You got one point.
Starting point is 00:46:59 All right. Somebody keep track. Catch. Go ahead. Someone's holding up a minion. All right, I'm going to hit the minion. That guy just threw a weed pop up here. Oh, it's a weed pop.
Starting point is 00:47:10 All right. Oh! Wow. Wait, have some drink. That minion took it hard. Graham is letting out some junior high aggression. He never drinks while he's throwing donuts. Pass it back the other way.
Starting point is 00:47:26 All right, who's got something you want me to hit? Anyone got a stupid face? This guy just stood up. I'm going to hit you right in your plaid shirt. Oh, he's keeping it. Here we go. Get down. Don't do this.
Starting point is 00:47:40 Why are you doing this? Oh! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! I genuinely don't understand.
Starting point is 00:47:54 What's my name? Fucking awesome. You still with me, brother? You still with me, right? You still with me? Fucking awesome. You still with me, brother? You still with me, right?
Starting point is 00:48:04 You still with me? What is happening? I wish that the viewers, listeners... I wish that the listening viewers at home could see Claire's face during all this. She's not about violently throwing donuts at people. No one had a better view better view of that fucking
Starting point is 00:48:28 donut hitting that guy than the two of us I tried to ask him why he was doing what he was doing but he didn't answer me he just he stood so stoically
Starting point is 00:48:35 put his hands behind his back and closed his eyes and fucking waited for it I just feel like there's something deeper going on with you well he's eating
Starting point is 00:48:43 the donut right now he was hungry that's all fucking amen I just feel like there's something deeper going on with you. Well, he's eating the donut right now. He was hungry. That's all. Amen. That's what we're doing, guys. We're helping people. We're feeding homeless. We're doing a good job here tonight.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I'm afraid what happens is people are bringing the donuts because they want that to happen. Yes. I don't know who. So then we oblige, unfortunately. That's not cool to encourage that sort of thing. You got any more
Starting point is 00:49:09 donuts in that bag? Yeah, I got one more. I'm going to fuck someone up. She's literally running from the room. Yeah, let me throw one. Ben Bailey, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:49:20 This is a good greasy one. Wait, the guy, what's the name of the guy throwing the donut? That shit is still scary. I'm going up top. Open your mouths, motherfuckers. Nice.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Wow. That was excellent. That was effortless, dude. You just fucking Aaron Rodgers. Just beautiful, gorgeous. That was effortless, dude. You just fucking Aaron Rodgers. Just beautiful. Gorgeous. That was nice. That was my Aaron Rodgers impression.
Starting point is 00:49:50 That was an elegant throw. No wonder he's such a great quarterback. He's the biggest eyes of any human. Doug, can Ben have some of your drink? His hand is covered in sugar. I'm not drinking the one that I use. This is the hand-washed drink. Would you like one?
Starting point is 00:50:11 I got a bottle of water from one of the lovely people who works here to do that. You could throw a bottle of water on your hand. I watched Deer Hunter recently. And it was just great so intense it's a really good movie isn't it you guys
Starting point is 00:50:33 yeah I mean I wasn't I don't think they can get away with a movie like that anymore because the performances were so good
Starting point is 00:50:41 and the movie really like just took its time and it really is torture the whole movie John Cazale ladies and gentlemen
Starting point is 00:50:52 I don't know what you think you're doing talking about movies on this show what kind of gutsy move was that now that is an amazing movie especially like
Starting point is 00:51:02 isn't the wedding at the beginning like a third of the movie? It's so long. But it makes everything else so much more heavy because you sat through their wedding, you know? Like you really feel like you know those people. Yeah, it's like the good and bad points of the wedding, like the sweaty moments. And then you go into Vietnam and it's just torture.
Starting point is 00:51:21 And the whole movie is just this weird torture for the audience, I think, too. But you also enjoy it. It's pain with pleasure. Yeah, it's insanely good. I mean, I just don't think they could make it the same way because the actors were so good, and they'll never be that good. Nobody will ever be that good again. I mean, sorry for anyone.
Starting point is 00:51:41 We're going to tell them this Friday. But not as good as Deer Hunter. But watch Deer Hunter first, and then compare and contrast. Yeah, which one's funnier? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fort Tilden's going to kick ass in that competition. The tune is pretty funny. Yeah, watch that too.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Let's play some games. Ow! Why the heck not, I say. This first game is kind of a spin on a game we've been playing. We've been playing a game called Now Bushimi, Now You Don't, where you have to figure out if Steve Buscemi's been in a movie or not. And we ran out of titles for Buscemi after been in a movie or not. And we ran out of titles for Buscemi after playing that game
Starting point is 00:52:28 for a few years. And Ponch22 on Twitter suggested that we do a version called, Which Film is Kosher? Yeah, which of these films is kosher? And that'd be the film that doesn't have Kevin Bacon in it.
Starting point is 00:52:51 So we'll start down here with Kevin, and I'll give you three movie titles, and you tell me which one Kevin Bacon isn't in to stay in the game. If you miss, then Bridie has a shot with only two titles to choose from. I'm out if I miss like the first one? I think you're going to be
Starting point is 00:53:07 in good shape. Okay. Just seems harsh. We'll see. Or if everybody fails all down the road then you can come back in. You'll see.
Starting point is 00:53:15 You'll see how it works. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Thank you. I really want a cocktail right now. Which of these movies was Kevin Bacon not in?
Starting point is 00:53:25 Footloose, Quicksilver, or Vision Quest? Vision Quest. That's correct. Yeah! Quicksilver, I always... I never saw Quicksilver, but the trailer made me want to be a bike messenger.
Starting point is 00:53:41 They remade it with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh, I saw that. Bag of D saw that again uh what bag of dicks premium rush bag of dicks what happened messengers aren't like oh wow we got someone from the bike messenger advocacy group here you guys oh my god eating a donut going we're tired of being misrepresentative in media eating a donut going, we're tired of being misrepresentative in media.
Starting point is 00:54:05 It's a bunch of people that ride bicycles. We're tired of it. Some of us walk and take cabs. Oh, man. Thanks for speaking up. Someone had to do it, sweetheart.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Enjoy that donut. I hope we don't push any more of your buttons because I generally don't approve of yelling out, things like that. The rules are you're not supposed to do that. You could have yelled that for all of those. Footloose.
Starting point is 00:54:34 It's a bullshit movie. It's like... What town doesn't have dancing? Yeah. Small town dancers aren't really like that. Okay, Bridie. You get three new ones. Which one of these is Kevin Bacon not in?
Starting point is 00:55:00 The River Wild, Whitewater Summer, or White Dog? Ooh. Which one of those doesn't have Kevin Bacon? The White Dog That's correct Thank you I think Bacon's easier than Buscemi He's definitely had more girlfriends
Starting point is 00:55:15 It's okay, I'm the next one I think he lives on the Upper West Side He's sluttier than Buscemi Okay, Claire gets to pick between Friday the 13th 40 40 Deuce, and 20 Bucks. Fuck. Which one of those
Starting point is 00:55:30 was Kevin Bacon not in? I've only seen one of them, so I'm going to say 20 Bucks. That's correct. All right. And of course, on Friday the 13th, he invented being murdered right after you have sex.
Starting point is 00:55:52 He's in a hammock, and he gets an arrow plunged through his neck. Yeah. Which is pretty sweet. Spoiler alert, Doug. Spoiler alert. It's just autoerotic. I think when they make ten sequels you're allowed to talk about what happened
Starting point is 00:56:07 John Cazale and Robert De Niro it's just so amazing greatest performances of their lives I think John Cazale
Starting point is 00:56:15 is like he's in four he's in five movies and he's amazing in all of them and all of them got nominated for an Oscar
Starting point is 00:56:21 and yeah hello he is good stuff knowledge that's not how deer hunters actually act got nominated for an Oscar. And, yeah. Hello. He is good stuff. Knowledge. That's not how deer hunters actually act. They have rights and feelings. All right, Ben.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Which one of these is he not in? Curly Sue, She's Having a Baby, or Planes, Trains, and Automobiles? Curly Sue. Yeah. Fast answer.
Starting point is 00:56:52 What would he do in Curly Sue? Did you? Where would he fit in? He had an uncredited cameo. No, he wasn't in Curly Sue, but yeah. But he's in She's Having a Baby for no reason. And Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. He's just tiny parts in both.
Starting point is 00:57:05 So I just picked another John Hughes movie. Any man that would pay $50 for a cab would surely pay $75. Holy shit. Impressive. You answered that question so quickly it was like we were in the middle of a crosswalk challenge. All right, Graham.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Everybody's killing it on this game. I know. Everybody's winning. Which one of these is he not in? Hair, the air up there, or the air that I breathe. Buscemi is in two of those. I'm going to say... I mean Kevin Bacon. Thanks, John Lovitz.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Stand up. That was just a clue I threw in. Stand up, John Lovitz. Stand up and show the audience. Stand up. Turn and face the audience. Hey,, John Lovitz. Stand up and show the audience. Stand up. Turn, face the audience. Hey, you female ballplayers, when did you get here? Can't believe the lights were brought up and everything.
Starting point is 00:58:17 Just for that. You got a pick? Stolle, Stollerman? Fuck. What are the three ones again? Hair, the air up there, and the air that I breathe. Oh, hair. That's right.
Starting point is 00:58:36 You guys are too good at Kevin Bacon movies, or maybe Kevin Bacon is too good and hard to trick people, so I'm going to set this aside. Call you all winners. Yay. We'll start with Graham on the other end with his next one. Oh, shit. And I thought of an interesting way to start this off.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Claire and Bridie no yes you guys are like opposites who's an actor or actress that you both think you know a lot of their work like a lot of films that they've been in to give you
Starting point is 00:59:21 us collectively or us by ourselves yourself but the two of you. You're friends, right? Yeah. Oh, the two of us together? Yeah. Shit. I mean, you know, you'll have to play separately once we start.
Starting point is 00:59:33 But who's an actor that both of you like and think you can name a lot of movies they were in? Yeah, sure. Tom Hanks. Excellent choice. We've played it before, but... I'm so sorry. It's always a fun one. No, I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:59:50 We'll see if we can top it. He's a very recognizable American figure. That he is indeed. All right, so we'll start with Graham and just go down the line. I'll play along for fun. And we'll just rattle off Tom Hanks movies. We're going to kill it.
Starting point is 01:00:06 All right. Saving Private Ryan. Yeah. That was one. Let's only do ones where... No, forget that. I almost said where he's the title character, but... That would be wrong already.
Starting point is 01:00:23 I thought it was about him trying to find himself. Ben. Any Tom Hanks movie. Wait, who? What's the guy's name again? What is wrong with you? His son is Colin Hayes. Are you really drawing a blank?
Starting point is 01:00:51 No. Okay. I'm trying to stockpile. Oh, I see. I see what you're doing. I'm going to go right ahead and say Turner and Hooch. Okay. Nice.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Nice. All right. Claire? Splash. All right. Claire? Splash. Splash. Splash. That's what you guys do when you get to the beach. Yeah, we splash.
Starting point is 01:01:16 All right. Bridie? Big. Mm-hmm. Woo! Joe versus the volcano. I know he can get the job but can he do the job I'm not arguing that with you
Starting point is 01:01:31 those of course are two lines from that film yep for any joe v volcano purists out there that's my turn buddy oh go for it. Have fun.
Starting point is 01:01:47 And that question you just asked, I have no response to that. I have no response to that. Yeah. It's also a line from Joe vs. Volcano. I have a brain cloud. All right.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Let's not all do them unless everybody has one. I got more, but... Yeah, I'm sure you do. I'm sure you got plenty more. I'm sure you do sure you got plenty more I'm gonna go with Catch Me If You Can go fuck yourself that is
Starting point is 01:02:16 the line from Catch Me If You Can you guys knock knock okay now you can go, Graham. Let's go with Man with One Red Shoe. Ooh. Ben?
Starting point is 01:02:40 The Money Pit. Yes. The Shelley Long classic. Charlie Wilson's War. Nice. Good movie. That's one we forgot the last time we played, so excellent job on that.
Starting point is 01:02:55 Thank you. It was just finally nice to hear, you know, what Wilson's full name was after I saw... you know what Wilson's full name was after I saw... Is it Bridie's turn? Yeah. Okay, what do you got? That Thing You Do. Mm-hmm. Yes! I will
Starting point is 01:03:19 say... Cloud Atlas. Oh, there you go. He plays a lot of roles in that one. All right, my turn. I will go with The Burbs. Ha-ha! What is that, Slavic?
Starting point is 01:03:40 Line from the movie. I will go with a movie called Castaway. Philadelphia. Forrest Gump. Yay. Did we say Captain Phillips? No, we didn't. I hear muttering in the crowd.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Don't say anything, you guys. The Road to Perdition. Whoa. That's a tricky one. The Lady Killers. Volunteers. Yes. Sleepless in Seattle you've got mail
Starting point is 01:04:32 thank god thank you Ben you're welcome bachelor party nice dragnet how about Toy Story? Wait a second.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Toy Story 2? Toy Story 3. Oh. You guys, clap if Toy Story 4 has happened yet. Oh. Oh, shit. You're doing great. Just knock it out. Moonlight over Buffalo. Wow.
Starting point is 01:05:37 I like that movie. What? All right. So Claire is out. Do you have another one? Do you have another one, Brock? You guys haven't seen Moonlight Over Buffalo? No.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Friday? Man, I'm trying to think of the movie where he's on a motorcycle with Julia Roberts behind him. Oh, yeah. I'll say that one when it's my turn. Yeah, I don't know if I... It's actually Kevin. It's Kevin's turn. What? Well, there's also a movie where it's animated
Starting point is 01:06:13 and there's a snow and train and I can't... Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Polar Express! Polar Express! Oh, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You did it. I did that for Bridie.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Thank you. Wait, what happened, Claire? It's the one that said the answer? Okay, I'll take it. But Claire's still out and Bridie's in. Right. So she's got a round to think of something else. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 01:06:39 You're welcome. Thank you. What about you, Kevin? The Green Mile. Yeah! thank you what about you Kevin the Green Mile yeah I think we might get them all I'm so proud of us and I apologize
Starting point is 01:06:55 for saying this but Larry Crown I had no idea what that movie was about did you it really was about a dude
Starting point is 01:07:04 who rides around on a moped. He summed it up nicely. I think he's trying to get to the beach. Julia Roberts jumps on the back and he's like, Hey, beautiful lady! How do I keep scoring you in films? Whose turn is it? Graham.
Starting point is 01:07:25 He's thinking hard with his balloon. Oh, fuck. We did the crazy ice train one, right? We got that one. What's that one called? We did the ice train, yes.
Starting point is 01:07:36 What was that called? Shh. Well, they can yell out a one that somebody already said, right? I guess so, but Polar Express, yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Difference doesn't make what it's called. I can't pick it. Um, there was the movie. Oh, I love when we do this. Ramp into it. You can do it. With Tom Hanks, of course.
Starting point is 01:08:04 And an older Robert Mitchum. Called the Gallantry Boys. What? And Anne Margaret plays the lead lady. Okay, Graham's out. God damn it. Seriously, guys, get The Gallantry Boys
Starting point is 01:08:32 on Netflix. It's a good film. What do you got, Ben? And this time, Claire, if you have another one, whisper it in a bridey's ear when it gets to her. Okay, thank you.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Ben? I think it's called Nothing in Common. Yeah, it is. Oh, fuck. in Common yeah it is that's a great that's actually Jackie Gleason directed by Gary Marshall and
Starting point is 01:08:51 I'm also in it um what do you got Bridie um he wasn't but he was probably
Starting point is 01:09:02 um what that wasn't a movie teller okay give her a fucking second but he was probably what that wasn't a movie teller give her a fucking second there isn't a lifeline or anything no I told Claire she could whisper it in your ear
Starting point is 01:09:17 but she's got nothing alright well no I don't know the plot I'm just thinking about google images All right. Just hang on. Well, no. I don't know the plot. I'm just thinking about Google images of Tom Hanks right now. I would have to say I don't have an answer.
Starting point is 01:09:40 Just Google images. Oh, shit. That's okay. Should I guess? No, you're out. Okay, shit. That's okay. Should I guess? No, you're out. Okay, good. I don't think you could just make up a title and it will also be a Tom Hanks movie. I think once you start to make it up, you go, oh, that is in fact a Tom Hanks movie. Or not at all.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Kevin? There is no crying in baseball. A league of their own. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Damn. Nice. Mentioned already this evening. Ben Bailey mentioned it earlier.
Starting point is 01:10:16 I'm going to go with... Story of my life right there, Doug. How about... Saving Mr. Banks? It's a great movie. It's funny. It's a mix of excitement for the right answer, but also the bigger applause for the movies they like. Which upset me that people like The Money Pit.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Seems strange. So it's just Ben and Kevin and I at this point. What do you got, Ben? Oh, wait. You just said it. It's your turn, isn't it? Yeah, it's Kevin's turn. What?
Starting point is 01:10:51 Oh, I didn't hear what he said. He said a few good men, right? Yep. Who said it? I don't know what happened either. Who said it? I don't know what happened either. Who said it? What did he say? No, he said a few good men.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Hey, don't give people the fucking answers during the show. Including Doug. Kevin just said it a few good men that's what he said a league of their own I fucked up and said a few good men but I mean a league of their own
Starting point is 01:11:34 yeah I said a league of their own yeah yeah yeah he's not in a few good men so it's not doesn't even have to be an issue everybody knows he's not in it so confused I was like,
Starting point is 01:11:46 did Ben see a few good men? And is Tom Hanks in a few good men? Did Tom Hanks order the code red? So, on the show a couple days ago, I said that Alec Baldwin plays the title character in Hunt for Red
Starting point is 01:12:03 October. So, so, A few days ago I said that Alec Baldwin plays the title character in Hunt for Red October. So we're on Ben. It's Ben's turn. Oh, man. And a few good men and a league of their own have both been mentioned already. What do you got? Anything? What did you say?
Starting point is 01:12:24 I said, Savey Mr. Banks. About 20 minutes ago. What did you say? I made something up because I forgot. Yeah, yeah, he's out, Ben. That's why we skipped over to you. He said, Robert Mitchum. Robert Mitchum and Tom Hanks
Starting point is 01:12:41 and the Gallantry Boys. Keep talking about that a little bit. I just thought of another one. You motherfucker. Putting the pressure on you. Every single time. You need us to vamp for you? Anything then?
Starting point is 01:12:57 No more vamping. There's something in there. That guy made the weakest buzzer noise I've ever heard. Like a dying pterodactyl. You're out. You're out of time. The Right Stuff. You did not appear in that one.
Starting point is 01:13:17 Comes down to just Kevin and myself. What do you got, Kevin? I've got two more and one that I can't remember the right title of. Yeah, I have one that I'm like, huh, I'm going to say
Starting point is 01:13:30 Apollo 13. That's a great one. Fuck you, man! Damn it! God damn it. This is the most maddening game every time I play it.
Starting point is 01:13:42 It's always like, God damn it! That's one of the five films in which Tom Hanks' character takes a leak on camera. That's right. He does it a lot. He's always peeing in his movies. Really long one in A Few Good Men.
Starting point is 01:13:59 Yeah. What the fuck? That scene where he pisses in Kevin Pollak's mouth. That was pretty cool. Oh, it's in the DVD extras, guys. Look it up. You can't handle it, Chris. Okay, you're out.
Starting point is 01:14:16 His very first, I believe his first motion picture role was in a motion film. A motion film? Film is a strong word for it. A movie called He Knows You're Alone. Yep. None of us can question you.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Don't clap that. You don't even know what it is. It's a fact is what it is. There's no oversight. Or it was called When a Stranger Calls. No, I'm kidding. Similar movie though.
Starting point is 01:14:45 Kevin, you got one more? I think... I think we're running the table on Tom Hanks movies. Really impressed with us. Okay, I'm not 100% sure, but I think he was in Bonfire of the Vanities. Yeah, he was. God damn it! Okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:15:00 Damn it. Okay. Oh, that's good. But unfortunately, the voice of Woody makes an appearance in another Pixar film called Cars. Oh, well. I know. I'm not a fan of Cars either. The gloves are off. One of the weaker Pixar entries, I think. Oh'm not a fan of cars either. The gloves are off. One of the weaker Pixar entries, I think.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Oh, shit balls. Do you have another one? I think we can call it a tie. I think I can help you through it. Because it's extremely something and incredibly something. Nobody helped me at all, just for the record. There were no clues given to the rest of us. Kevin is the winner regardless.
Starting point is 01:15:50 Yeah! Congratulations, Kevin. I know what you're talking about. I can never get that title right. One of the worst Best Picture nominees in the history of that award. What year was that? A few ago. It was after 9-11.
Starting point is 01:16:09 Extremely... Is it extremely fast and incredibly close? No. That stars Vin Diesel. It's a triple X. Extremely fast and incredibly furious. What was it? Okay, audience, what's it called? And we forgot the terminal.
Starting point is 01:16:28 The terminal. I'm one of the three people on the planet that likes that movie, the fucking terminal. Extremely loud and incredibly close. There's more, though. Angels and Demons and Da Vinci Code. Da Vinci Code.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Da Vinci Code. Da Vinci Code. God damn it. All right. And then he was in Da Vinci Code 2, right? Back to the Beach or whatever. But TV movies don't count, right? Uh-uh. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:58 He's also, isn't he? Extremely loud and incredibly close. Isn't he also in Kevin Pollak's documentary, Misery Loves Comedy? Maybe. Yeah, he is in that. They say he is, but it's too late for that now. It's extremely loud and incredibly close. What did I say?
Starting point is 01:17:13 Fast. You said fast. What are you going to fucking do here? But you're still our winner, Kevin. You already won, dude. Beautiful. Beautiful. Are you ready for your makeup?
Starting point is 01:17:28 What's that? Ready for your makeup. Kevin, of course, is the co-host of Denzel Washington is the greatest motherfucker in the world podcast. Something like that. Greatest actor on earth in the world. Denzel Washington is the greatest actor of all time. Period. Yes.
Starting point is 01:17:47 With W. Kamau Bell in me. Yeah. And we did a version of this game with Denzel Washington. Yeah. Oh, I fucked that up. On the show. I dropped the ball. Big time.
Starting point is 01:17:56 Yeah. But no matter who the person is, it's a tough game. And I think we did great. We only missed a few that I could catch from everybody screaming at us. But we'll have Kevin start us off first in our final game of the evening. We might run a little long tonight. Are you guys in a hurry to get anywhere? Except.
Starting point is 01:18:20 The bike messenger lady, she's got to get somewhere. She's got some shit to deliver. They're not really like that. Everything is in deadlines. Don't forget that everybody here tonight is first eligible if you hang out after the show. You know, like get a drink from the bar and queue up and you can buy tickets to the 12 Guests of Christmas
Starting point is 01:18:43 East Coast Edition on Monday, November 30th at 8 o'clock right here at the Gramercy. You can buy those tickets without fees. So it's like, I forget what it comes to. It's like 20 bucks or something without the fees. So you can buy those tonight and everyone else can buy them starting at noon tomorrow wherever you buy ticket, master.
Starting point is 01:19:11 So hang out for that, you guys, if you want to come back for that show for sure, because once it goes on sale officially tomorrow, it'll sell out quickly. Let's play a little game I like to call, a brand new game called Reverse Malton. Reverse Malton. It's like the Leonard Malton game, but in reverse.
Starting point is 01:19:32 Wait, what? Extremely complicated. Yeah. I'm sure Ben doesn't know how it works. And Graham's only played it once or twice, so I'll run you guys all through it. But Kevin's going to start us off, and then we'll go to Bridie and down the line that way. And Kevin is going to get to pick between three films. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:54 And then once you pick that movie, pick the one that you think you know the most actors in or the one you think the panel might not know enough actors in for you to be able to beat them. And then I'll tell you how many actors' names Leonard lists. And you guys have to bid on how many of those you think you can name. And if you can't bid a higher number, you're going to have to challenge the person
Starting point is 01:20:20 and hope they miss it. Make sense, sort of? Sure. Sure. Yeah sort of? Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we play to two points, first person to two points.
Starting point is 01:20:33 And we get to start off with Kevin picking between these three films. 1941, 2010, or 2012? It's really cool. Which one of those films do you think you know the most actors from that film? Jesus.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Jesus. 2012. Oh, God damn it. All right. Leonard lists seven names. I apologize. That's the wrong movie. Hang on just a second.
Starting point is 01:21:27 I got to access it. That's the name of the movie. 2012. So Ben is on record as knowing nothing about this movie. It's an interesting strategy. Leonard lists 13 names. So how many out of 13 do you think you could name? And I have to...
Starting point is 01:21:54 Two. That's a very reasonable opening bid. He says two names. And, Bridie, you can bid more names. Doug, I have a question. Doug, can I ask a question? I don't think it's your turn. I know, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:22:12 I just want to ask a question. So ask it when I get to you. Okay. Can we pick a different movie to use? Doug, Doug, I have the same question. Doug. Wait your the same question. Doug. Wait your turn, bitch. Wow.
Starting point is 01:22:32 It was for the laugh. Don't be offended. Girl, you want to use the word bitch, you've got to find another place to do it. They got, uh... They always cut that out when he would say that at a four-way stop on Cash Cow. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 01:22:53 Just for the laugh. All right, Brian. I know it's for good laughs. He thinks... Oh, my God. I don't know what's happening. If I... I would have...
Starting point is 01:23:03 Just keep staying at the donut. Just keep staying at the donut. Just keep staying at the donut. It's okay. We're going to put it into the game. Don't worry. The movie is 1941. Bryony, what do you think? Can you name three or more people from this movie, or do you want to challenge Kevin...
Starting point is 01:23:22 Do I have to challenge... ...to come up with two names? Kevin, or can I challenge anyone? Pick a guy from the audience. I don't know. No, it'd have to be Kevin. You'd have to either bid a higher number or challenge Kevin. Those are your options.
Starting point is 01:23:38 I challenge Kevin. Alright, so if Kevin can name two people from 2012, he's going to be on the board, as we say, with one point. I will say John Cusack. And Woody Harrelson. That is correct.
Starting point is 01:24:05 Nice. Lots of folks in that movie. Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, George Segal. Robert Mitchum. Tom Hanks. Don't see either of those. Kevin Bacon. No, none of those.
Starting point is 01:24:21 Was Jake Gyllenhaal in 2010? No. That movie? Isllenhaal in 2010? No. That movie? Is there a movie from 2010? No, he was in The Day After Tomorrow. Same movie. Same exact movie. Was that with Taya Leone, too?
Starting point is 01:24:35 Thank you, audience. There's a sequel to Taya Leone? Yeah, Taya Leone 2. Yeah. Taya Leone. All right. Which one was she in? Talioni.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Can't you just recognize her from the way I'm doing her voice a little bit? A little bit? It's a little bit. There's a faint Talioni to that voice. Yeah, no, there is. Nailed it. She was with David Duchovny. So you can go home and read up about that on Google.
Starting point is 01:25:07 Do Taylor Leone from Spanglish, that scene where she's confessing that she slept around? I slept with someone else. I slept with someone else. I feel crazy. You're a chef and I slept with someone else. Did you guys plan that ahead?
Starting point is 01:25:29 She tenses her neck so much that you think she's going to go blind because there's so much tension in her neck when she acts. She's one of the best neck actors that we have. She's a great neck actor. What is her TV show?
Starting point is 01:25:46 What is it? Give her another one to do. Mistress Secretary? The Naked Truth? No, but there's another one she's in right now. Madam Secretary? Oh, I don't know. Give her the scene from the pilot of Madam Secretary. Isn't she in Jack and Jill? What's happening?
Starting point is 01:26:01 No, she's not in Jack and Jill. Not according to that poster. Do you see Tay Leone on this poster? I actually thought this was a bug for a second. It's okay. Graham's going to start us off. You got it, buddy. Let's do it.
Starting point is 01:26:19 Do you think you know more names from Rocky? Rocky 3? Or Rocky Balboa? Ah, shit. Wow. Yeah. We're doing the bookends on this one. I wish I, if I didn't know. Front to back, baby.
Starting point is 01:26:40 If I didn't know. Butt to nuts. Nicely done. Nicely done, audience member. If I didn't know that you were going to wear a Rambo shirt I could have avoided asking you this. I will go Rocky Tresero.
Starting point is 01:26:56 And the way to get it back line from the movie. That was back in the day when they didn't fuck around with longer titles. Just Rocky III. Yeah, it was Rocky III, Back to the Dead Meat or whatever. Mission Impossible V. Fucking take it.
Starting point is 01:27:13 Yeah, Rocky III, Running on the Beach or whatever it was. It was just fucking Rocky III. Chasing the Chicken, I think it was called. Leonard lists six names from Rocky III, Graham. I think Graham has to pee. We've never had someone bid all the names. Graham, do you have to pee? Yes, I do.
Starting point is 01:27:31 Are you? I flew today. Literally almost came right from the airport. I've done some babysitting in my time. He's also on acid. That's what always happens to me when I'm on acid. Yeah, fucking. I start fucking moving around, knocking my clown heads down.
Starting point is 01:27:52 It's not what clown heads are really like. I will go. I will go. Just do it. Let's do it. How many six names, Doug? Yeah, six days. Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it. How many six names, Doug? Yeah, six names. Yeah, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:28:09 Let's do it. Let's go six. New York. All right, so... Ben Bailey gets a gimme if Graham can't name all six names. Just the six listed by Leonard Maltin, so there's obviously more people in the film than that.
Starting point is 01:28:26 It's not a drawing room play. So let's hear it, Graham. Ben will get the point if you don't succeed. Okay. Talia Shire. Don't tell him if he's right or wrong until we hear six names out of his goddamn mouth. Talia Shire,'t tell him if he's right or wrong until we hear six names out of his god damn mouth Talia Shire
Starting point is 01:28:48 Sylvester Stallone Burt Young Burgess Meredith I believe he was billed as was he billed as Mr. T yeah Mr. T six names we need that's only two.
Starting point is 01:29:15 Thank you so much for your support. This is just like the movie Rocky. You can do it. And shit, who is the sixth name? They're going to go with... Yeah, go with somebody. Apollo. Or go with God. What happened?
Starting point is 01:29:38 You're being very sassy. You're being very sassy. You're an Apollo Creed. Is that your final answer? Yeah. I'll host this thing. What? That's your final answer.
Starting point is 01:30:06 You're going to go with the fictional character in the film fuck I am completely blanking on the actor's name of course you are I'd say 90% of us in the audience know the answer everyone can see it, I'm looking at him I can recite lines from the movie and of course his name is
Starting point is 01:30:23 Clarence Weathers. So then, Clarence Weathers, Chandler's How dare you guys. Please, please, please The Jeopardy! audio doesn't do that
Starting point is 01:30:34 when somebody's close to the right answer. All right. So the point goes to Ben Bailey. No. Clarence Weathers. Clarence Johnny Weathers.
Starting point is 01:30:43 It's not Clarence Weathers or Johnarence Johnny Weathers. It's not Clarence Weathers or John Waters. You only get one guess and it was Apollo Creed. No, it's Carl Weathers. Carl Weathers, god damn it. Action Jackson. Action Jackson, baby. Yeah, so Ben gets a point, everybody.
Starting point is 01:31:01 Hey, thank you very much, everybody. I'm funny looking, more than most. Hey, thank you very much, everybody. I'm funny looking, more than most. Uncircumcised. God damn it. God damn it. Kevin gets to start us off again. What?
Starting point is 01:31:19 Yeah. You get to pick the next one. All right. Steve Weatherman. Do we just not talk during the games, or are we... No, you'll be next like you were in the next one. All right. Steve Weathers. Did we just not talk during the games? Or are we? No, you'll be next like you were in the first round. What? Oh, I thought I was out.
Starting point is 01:31:33 No. No. Because I challenged someone. I thought that the punishment was to. There's just a lot of people, so it doesn't get to everybody. Claire may be in good shape sitting in the middle right there. She might not have to participate. Okay.
Starting point is 01:31:47 I feel... I'm sorry, Ghost Bilster. I'm doing my best. I feel a lot of responsibility towards you. I just want you to know that. But I guess my best wasn't good enough. All right. Let's do that at karaoke later.
Starting point is 01:32:01 Let's play the game right now. Who's singing? Whose voice was that? But I guess my best... That was my James Ingram impression, according to that guy. Should we leave and let him do that? You get to pick between these three in honor. I did this one special for tonight in honor of the film Fort Tilden. Oh, that's sweet.
Starting point is 01:32:19 The three options are Fort Apache, the Bronx. A Bronx Tale. Three options are Fort Apache, the Bronx, a Bronx tail, or an American tail. Which one of those? Wildly different. Well, not two of them are kind of similar. But that third one. Which one of those do you think you know the most names from, Kevin? Right.
Starting point is 01:32:54 I'm going to say A Bronx Tale. All right. Leonard lists ten names. Oh, shit. How many of those can you name for our listening pleasure? I'm going to go again with two. Strong opening bid. Two names.
Starting point is 01:33:24 So we go to Bridie does a Bronx tale have Ray Liotta interesting approach to the game Carl Weathers but you know like sort of how like every movie has a Carl Weathers. But you know, like, sort of how, like,
Starting point is 01:33:49 every movie has a Ray Liotta. You know what I mean? Why'd you do that, Karen? If a Bronx Tale has a Ray Liotta, Ray Liotta. But if not... That's a really interesting way to do it. You have to bid more names,
Starting point is 01:34:10 so you'd have to come up with three names, one of whom may or may not be Ray Liotta. Well, I challenge... Or you challenge Kevin to come up with two names in what is arguably a movie. I thought you said four. No, I said two. You said two.
Starting point is 01:34:26 I'm not trying to cheat. That's also a fun strategy. You said four names. Let's just settle on three then. You fucking said four. Yeah. No, what? I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:34:36 I'm kidding. It was a joke. It was a joke. Let's be serious. Kevin, what are the five names? Now, Kevin says two names and he is our winner tonight. We're talking about a few good men, right?
Starting point is 01:34:50 A few good Bronx tales. I will say Ray Liotta. You're welcome. On Bridie's part. Oh, man. This ended up being the most amazing strategy. It's the Ray Liotta method.
Starting point is 01:35:09 Who's your second name? Robert De Niro. Yeah, of course. He's Robert De Niro. Right? Yeah. What's the name of the guy? Could you name a third if she hadn't said Ray Liotta?
Starting point is 01:35:20 He hasn't named two. Ray Liotta is not listed. Yeah. So that's right. Bridie gets a point. Oh! This game ain't over. It's not over.
Starting point is 01:35:38 Fuck yes. It's not over. It's like when Apollo Creed said that shit. Joe Pesci and Chaz Palminteri It's not over. It's like when Apollo Creed said that shit. Skip jump. Joe Pesci and Chaz Palminteri are the only other two names I even know who they are. You got totally fucked, bro. I couldn't remember Chaz Palminteri's name, even though I could see him. Now you just can't leave.
Starting point is 01:36:00 Yeah, that's funny. I wasn't sure that Joe Pesci was... Well, we got three players are on the board. Well done. Yeah. Well done. Yeah. Well done. Unexpected. And Graham's in the catbird seat again. You get to pick the next category.
Starting point is 01:36:12 Let's do it. Then we'll go to Ben, and hopefully Claire will get to participate. Just do it in my dreams. Just hasn't shaken out that way so far. Shake it. Shake it. Graham. Yes.
Starting point is 01:36:24 Who do you know more actors from? Goldfinger, The Man with the Golden Gun, or Golden Eye? Damn. For some reason, gold is a recurring motif in Bond titles. I've said too much.
Starting point is 01:36:52 What are they again huh so tell me yeah say me again gold finger man with a golden gun and golden eye jesus um i will go with Goldfinger. Whoa. Interesting choice. Leonard lists eight names. How many of those can you name, Graham? I can go with Carl Weathers. I will go with this one I'm going to play
Starting point is 01:37:36 Are you going to be mad at Carl Weathers for the rest of your life? Yes. Like it's his fucking fault? Yes. And Kevin will be mad at Chaz Palminteri and we're going to go on the streets and settle some shit.
Starting point is 01:37:44 Yeah. Alright. I'm going to just go one. Okay. And it's not the one you're thinking. No, I'm just kidding. So then it goes to Ben. Do you think you know more than
Starting point is 01:37:59 one person that was in Goldfinger from 1964. Fuck me. This is your chance to get on the board? I'm on the board. I have a point, motherfucker. I mean, chance to win?
Starting point is 01:38:18 I think we're going to be spreading out some points. That's what I'm thinking. I don't like you wording it that way, but okay. We're going to go top, top, front to back with the points, Duck. What are my options here, Duck? Your options are to stage dive. Or yell at the audience, who am I? These people are cheering in front.
Starting point is 01:38:42 Yeah. Chill yourself! I've heard several of you. They want to catch you. Kill yourself! I've hurt several of you if I don't get in the crowd right now. Throw a donut. It'd be injuries. Throw a donut. They've got Ben Bailey fever.
Starting point is 01:38:51 They want to catch you. That's awesome. Somebody put that on a shirt. With a magic marker and then throw that shirt away? Do you think you know more than one actor in Goldfinger? Then you'd say two names maybe or three? I don't want to discuss
Starting point is 01:39:13 strategy, just options. I'll make the decision myself. Okay, well the strategy and the options are pretty much right all in there. Because then your other option is to let Graham name one person from what has already been established to be a James Bond film from 1964. All right.
Starting point is 01:39:33 So I could let him do that and then get a point. Yes. Sure, yeah. He'll get a point. I don't get a point. Or you can bid more names. The crowd's talking to me like I'm the biggest idiot in the world. No, no. He gets a point, stupid. Or you could bid more names. The crowd's talking to me like I'm the biggest idiot in the world. No, no, he gets a point, stupid.
Starting point is 01:39:47 Or you could bid more names. I could bid more names. You could bluff it because you clearly don't know shit about this movie. You don't fucking know what I know. You might be bluffing right now. And then Claire might have to challenge you. And then she'd have a chance at getting on the board. If you just think you know two names or you think you can act like you know
Starting point is 01:40:05 two names. All right. So if I tell him to name. Oh, let's just keep going. God damn it. Whatever you do right here, we're probably going to have to continue playing and we're already over time. So just make a choice. You forgot a third, another option, which I was then utilizing. What? Stalling? Yes. That was it. So what do you say?
Starting point is 01:40:33 He's telling me to name it? I'm going to go with a gentleman by the name of Sean Connery. And is Yafit Kodo in there? That was going to be my second choice. I don't know why anyone is clapping for that. Yafit Kodo. Yeah, he's in one of the early ones. No, he's in not one of the early ones. Or maybe he's in more than one,
Starting point is 01:40:52 but he's best known for being in Live and Let Die with Roger Moore. Yafit Kodo was the bad guy in that one. Yeah, but he was like, didn't he play like... Yeah, yeah. He played like a CIA agent or something like that. Sure, oh yeah, he was in there like,
Starting point is 01:41:03 hey, I'm in the CIA. And then a few movies later, I'm the bad guy. It's not Mission Impossible. Jack Lord. Jack Lord's in this one. Jack Lord's in one of them. No, no.
Starting point is 01:41:15 If anybody knows the name, don't yell out the name of the actor who played Goldfinger, then that would be... Close. What's my name? Ben Bailey! Or the lady who played Pussy Galore. Or the lady who got painted gold and died because she got painted. Or the guy who played M.
Starting point is 01:41:37 Or the lady who played Miss Moneypenny. Yeah, I don't know who he is. Or two other random people. Oh, Oddjob, the guy who played Oddjob. Right. And then I don't know who this last person is. So, Gert Frobey, Honor Blackman, Shirley Eaton, Bernard Lee,
Starting point is 01:41:51 Lois Maxwell. But that means that Graham is on the board. Yeah. We're gunning towards a four-way tie right here and now. That one was for Carl Weathers. We're also looking at a chance
Starting point is 01:42:09 that Claire will not play at all. Why don't you just ask me a question and see if I can answer it. Yeah. I just turned down so many potential questions in my head thanks buddy yeah
Starting point is 01:42:28 it's okay you don't have to do that it's your show you can do whatever you want don't lose your mic besides Sean Connery name two other people who have played Roger Moore so I gave you one James Bond who else has played James Bond besides Sean Connery So I gave you one. It's a different question. James Bond.
Starting point is 01:42:46 Who else has played James Bond besides Sean Connery? Are you asking me that? Yeah, you said ask me a question. Pierce Brosnan. Okay, it doesn't affect the game in any way. You're a piece of shit. All right, you get a point. Yay!
Starting point is 01:43:03 Wow. Okay. We got a five-way tie that means i get to pick the last cat in the last movie nobody gets to choose and uh but we'll start with kevin and then variety go across that way so thanks for coming graham and ben wait what we're up Thanks for being here. I chose this movie. It's been waiting for a tie between all the people on stage. This is the tiebreaker. And it's a film I like very much from 1983 called Trading Places. Lettered list, 13 names how many people
Starting point is 01:43:48 from trading places classic motion picture can you name Kevin Avery clue for all five of you Denzel Washington is not one of them boo is right boo he should have been in that. He should be in everything.
Starting point is 01:44:09 He should be James Bond. I wouldn't mind that. Equalizer is close enough. Oh, dude. Yeah. Does James Bond ever kill people with Home Depot tools? I'd like my glue gun, thanks.
Starting point is 01:44:26 Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Why would a glue gun go clack, clack? It's a... And whose fucking voice was that? A glue gun is more like... I'm going to glue you. That's Denzel Washington doing English Secret Service accent.
Starting point is 01:44:46 Edward, yeah. Edward Woodward. I don't know why they just popped out of their head. I'll just say two. He likes to keep it simple. Bridie, do you think you know more than two people from trading places? They're encouraging you. They're encouraging you to know. Um, oh no,
Starting point is 01:45:10 two things came into my head, but they're both childhood related and I don't want to put you guys through that right now. Um, I would guess that I know two as well, so I think that puts us into overtime, right? Nice! Way to just announce your voice your way into it. We're in the bonus round, Doug. I'm in the finals between Graham and Kevin. Time to get a beer, everybody. All right, so Kevin's our winner.
Starting point is 01:45:51 Go ahead. Wait, what happened? Go ahead and pick any two names. Well, she says she can't do more than two, so you have to... Just say three. Say five. Fuck it, say five. What's happening? Hang on a second.
Starting point is 01:46:04 Claire, do you think you could say more than three from Trading Places? Why? Classic motion picture. More than two or more than three? Why are you asking me that? That's not in the scope of the game, Doug. Because then if Claire, I mean, if Bridie bids three, then you could bid four, take her out of her misery. Or you could pull a fast one and say to her, name it.
Starting point is 01:46:30 Are you literally describing the rules of the game to me? No, he's showing you how the game might be more fun for everyone. Oh. Yeah, I could probably name like six of them. Nice. Bridie. Okay, but let's get this on the record So Bridie bids three
Starting point is 01:46:48 I did? She talks like that I did? She's like wait I won Just say I bid three Who's this guy Telling me yes and no
Starting point is 01:46:59 Every time I look up There's a guy saying no And then one guy saying yes It's the same guy each time. He's got the day off from sitting in the Price is Right audience. Can't tell if he's being supportive or not. Higher! That's what people yell at me when I walk out.
Starting point is 01:47:19 What do you want us to do? So, Claire says... Yeah, I could do. Griny says three names. Claire says six. I said six. What do you think, Ben? Yeah, I could do... Bridie says three names. Claire says six. I said six. What do you think, Ben? She says six.
Starting point is 01:47:28 Then we go to Ben. Seven. Seven names. This is how I like this to go. Graham, how many can you do out of 13? He could tell me to do it. I'm really sorry, Kevin, but Ben, name it. I want to apologize to Kevin.
Starting point is 01:47:52 There's nothing at stake for him today. Well, he had it wrapped up. He did. Yeah, that's a good point. Then we decided to go the fun route. I really did. I had this shit wrapped up. But you've got to name seven names.
Starting point is 01:48:05 That's seven up. Yep. But you gotta name seven names. That's seven now. Seven. What movie are we talking about? Pretty sure it's Castaway. Kevin Bacon was not in Castaway. Neither was Ray Liotta. Although... They were both in A Few Good Men.
Starting point is 01:48:32 Ray Liotta has such striking eyelashes, no? Yeah. I mean, most pronounced. Wilson really could be in that. He's got a real chilling laugh as well. That kind of thing yeah he laughs a lot
Starting point is 01:48:51 in Something Wild and then a little bit in Field of Dreams Ben yeah seven names from trading places the classic motion picture
Starting point is 01:48:58 Eddie Murphy that's one Dan Aykroyd two Jamie Lee Curtis. Three. Don Amici. Four.
Starting point is 01:49:11 I hope you get this. Me too. I bet he doesn't. Fuck you, man. Yeah. Give me a second. You're at a real turning point here. Two more.
Starting point is 01:49:33 Three more. Ralph. What's your last name, Ralph? Just Ray Liotta's eyelashes. Put some on his nightstand when he goes to bed. Are you reading from your diary? No, she's reading from your diary, bitch. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 01:49:54 Oh, bitch. I'd fuck the shit out of Ray Liotta. Wait, was this mic on? Let's focus. Four names. No need to focus, Doug. Never lose focus. Four names you've said to focus, Doug. Just never lose focus. Four names you've said so far.
Starting point is 01:50:09 I said Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd. Yeah, this is also not part of the How the Game Works, but go ahead and refresh your memory. Don Amici. Okay, four. You've got four so far. I'm not even going to confirm if they're correct or not until you say three more names that you think are in this microphone. This crowd is really trying to help me. I'm staring at the stage.
Starting point is 01:50:28 I'd rather they didn't. I'd rather you just admit defeat. I'm going to be so upset. Just admit that you cannot think of any more. I will not do that. Graham will be our winner. Graham? Did you say Graham? Graham will win if you fail to name three more names.
Starting point is 01:50:44 All seven have to be correct. Oh, son of a bitch. Seems like it's not going to happen. Seems like, let's say you think of one more. We can't have this kind of wait again for the next one after that. And then the next one after that. I think everyone's willing to wait it out. I've never been at a stoplight this long.
Starting point is 01:51:06 Surely they'll wait if we give them more donuts. Give them donuts? We hurl them at them hard. You're supposed to be thinking right now. The rest of us will... Yeah, no, that's classic stall technique, but you got nothing, right? I originated that technique, Doug. You got nothing. I'm afraid I don't.
Starting point is 01:51:21 Yeah. I'm gonna know. So it's a pretty smart bit, the seven names. He plays Clarence Beaks. His name's Burt Parks. What? What's his fucking name, that guy? Burt Parks. It's Burt something.
Starting point is 01:51:33 Burt Parks. Motherfucker. And Don Pardo. All right. Graham's our winner. Yay! The four names you did say so far were all, in fact, correct. Don Amici, in every scene, has another old man sitting next to him and his name is not Statler or Waldorf.
Starting point is 01:51:49 It's Ralph Bellamy. It's Ralph Bellamy. God damn. And then there Alfred is a man named Denholm Elliot. And then the guy that gets fucked by a monkey in a cage is known as Paul Gleeson. Oh, fuck. Jim Belushi. And then we've also got James Belushi
Starting point is 01:52:05 and Franken and Davis were in the film as the two guys that were with the monkey. And then an old gentleman he's always played old guys for as long as I can remember Bill Cobbs was also in it. And like I said, Graham Elwood is our winner!
Starting point is 01:52:30 So Graham Elwood is our winner. So, Katie gets all the prizes. All right. There you go. Congratulations. She won before. She's saying she wants to give stuff back. Give it to whoever Kevin Avery's won because he kind of got robbed of it. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:52:45 Yeah. Who are you playing for? Oh, I'm playing for Pat. Give it to whoever Kevin Avery's won because he kind of got robbed of it. That makes sense. Yeah, look to me. Who are you playing for? Oh, I'm playing for Pat. Come get your prizes, Pat. Oh, there we go. For Katie, it's different stuff. Are you sure? So dimmy it up with him. Take something, Katie.
Starting point is 01:52:55 Dimmy it up. Take something. Take the weird lunch boxes. Take that lunch box and suffocate somebody with it or something. Lunch box. It's a lunch box for scuba diving. Thank you. Take that with you when you're scuba diving.
Starting point is 01:53:09 The cool thing, Ghostbusters, is that you get your cool sign back. It's a great sign. It's laminated. All right. Graham, let's hear some plugs. L.A. Podfest, September 18th through 20th. If you want to watch the live stream or buy tickets, go to lapodfest.com. And listen to my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds.
Starting point is 01:53:30 Go to itunes.com slash comedyfilmnerds. Headlining the Hollywood Improv, August 29th. Be there. Wow, that was fucking good, dude. Everybody else doesn't have to be as aggressive with their plugs. Ben, what do you got coming up? My email, hopefully, so I can tell you. I'll be at a performing arts center somewhere in Florida.
Starting point is 01:53:56 On a certain date that's approaching the same speed as lots of other dates. I'm going to be performing in September and I'll be at the Empire Theater in San Antonio, Texas in that same month. And that's all I can come up with at the moment. It's all you need to come up with. Okay, cool. Oh, I'll be in Hawaii, but that's next year. And I'm just going for fun.
Starting point is 01:54:24 He's inviting all of you to join him, I think. Claire McNulty and Bridie Elliott, of course, are in Fort Tilden. Watch it this Friday. It's really good. But individually, do you have anything else you want to mention that you're up to or
Starting point is 01:54:39 coming out or that people could see? I'm going to be on At Midnight on Monday. Yeah, watch Bridie on At Midnight on Monday. Yeah, watch Bridey on At Midnight Monday? Monday, yeah. Monday. I'm doing Roger Rabbit entirely from memory as an improv thing on August 22nd at Videology, if you all want to be there. Wow.
Starting point is 01:54:58 What's your favorite line from it that you know right now? Is it, please, Eddie? No, nobody likes when Roger talks at all. Actually, my favorite line is, please! He just said it. No, I know, but I'm telling you what my favorite line is. All right.
Starting point is 01:55:15 Sometimes better than mine. That was awesome. Thank you. Kevin Avery. Are you just being nice to me because you called me a bitch earlier? It's okay. I forgive you. No, because it was good. He's just being nice.
Starting point is 01:55:35 Wait, let me get the whole audience to yell out what they've been yelling out over and over again, but I'm going to change the question slightly. Who's a bitch? Ben Bailey! That was the question slightly. Who's a bitch? Ben Bailey! That was the coolest thing. They only did that because I called you a bitch earlier. That's the only reason they did that. They were just being nice to you, too.
Starting point is 01:55:58 Thanks, you guys. Kevin. Okay, but it's Kevin's turn now. Yeah, give him a chance. The podcast is called Denzel Washington is the Greatest Actor of All Time, period. Period. And also on August 19th, I'll be at Gotham Comedy Club for a benefit called Dudes Against Violence Against Women. You think a lot of bitches are going to come out to that one?
Starting point is 01:56:24 So you guys are against violence and women? That's generally what that means. So that's a Gotham on August 19th. 7th or 8th. I should not have made a joke out of that. Awesome. And douglasmovies.com is where all my stuff lives. And one more time for all of my guests.
Starting point is 01:56:43 Thank you, New York! Graham Elwood, Ben Bailey, Claire McNulty, Bridie Elliott, and Kevin Avery. Thanks for having us, Doug. Support all of their endeavors. And as always... I feel like I didn't get enough. Oh, okay, because there was kind of like two winners that's why I don't have
Starting point is 01:57:06 okay oh okay the new Fantastic Four is a shithead Donald Trump who has blood coming out of his eyes blood coming out of his wherever is a shithead. Do you mean vagina? Out of wherever.
Starting point is 01:57:40 And Bill Manley having to do digital PCARR for 4.5 hours today and missing lunch. It's probably the, we can all agree, it's the greatest shithead of all time. The greatest. Period. Go ahead and play that theme song. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold,
Starting point is 01:57:57 his viewing prowess makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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