Doug Loves Movies - Ben Bailey, Dale Cheesman and Trey Galyon guest
Episode Date: May 29, 2020Doug welcomes Ben Bailey, Dale Cheesman and Trey Galyon to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to ...stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody! Remember a few episodes ago when we played Witch Hunt?
New2Twit wrote to the Doug Loves Movies account on Twitter,
Red Skelton, in his 1970s live shows, would, mid-act, read a note handed him that a Helen Hunt had found a wallet and that after the show, the affected patron should
go to Helen Hunt for it.
This was before the actress was known or the joke would have failed.
Thank you for sending that to me, new to Twit, and enjoy the show.
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love Cash Cab.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from Quarantinoville.
It's Thursday, May 28th, I think, 2020.
And my guests today are three of my East Coast comedy pals,
Ben Bailey,
Dale Cheeseman, and
Trey Gallion.
Dale.
I'm just doing it for myself.
Yeah, don't chant your own
names, you guys.
It's the only way it happens at live shows.
Yeah.
Dale.
Start your own chants. I like it.
You guys all get your fair share of chants at the live shows.
Let's meet you individually and alphabetically, starting with Cash Cab is back, and so is Ben Bailey.
Hey, what's up, everybody? What's my name?
I hope people are doing that at home.
No live audience to yell at.
It's good to be back, man. I haven't done this in ages.
I think we had an argument last time.
On the show?
Maybe. I don't know.
Maybe it was later. Maybe it was like afterwards.
We had some argument about how there's no good surprise twists in movies.
Really?
Yeah, that was your point of view.
You were like, no, there's no good ones.
I was naming movies and you were like, nope, nope, nope.
I'm like, come on, man.
There's got to be one that you like.
I'm just like, seen it, seen it, seen it.
Oh, boy, that's a great twist.
I don't know.
Sounds like I was having kind of a cynical day if I said that.
Off my head. Doug hates movies.
But I'm so glad that Cash Cab is back.
Like, how many more episodes do we get to see?
Because obviously you're probably not shooting episodes now.
Thanks, buddy.
That's nice of you to say.
Yeah, we're not shooting.
These are the the second
half of what we filmed uh late last year so i think we've it's been it's on every wednesday
night now from 11 30 until like 1 30 i think they do four episodes in a row for some reason but
i think there's about 25 new ones left give or take i'm excited i mean i could watch a rerun of the show for sure because
it's you know it's hard to remember all the questions and stuff but you do kind of recognize
the contestants sometimes you know yeah you're groundhog day in it like i know this one i've
seen this episode i watched it yesterday i'm gonna get all this yeah that's what i've been
doing with all game shows lately that have ceased
production is like, Oh, they're into reruns. This isn't a new one.
Still watchable though, I guess.
Yeah. Also joining us today is,
it's also been a while since I've seen or heard from you.
It's Dale Cheeseman, everybody.
Hi gold.
Hey Dale.
What's going on everybody. It's good to be back.
Dale, Dale, Dale.
Yeah, how's not being able to get up and do stand-up treating you?
Is it crazy?
A lot of people are struggling with it.
I kind of saw the pandemic coming, so as a precaution,
10 years ago I got a job,
and I've just been doing that all day
every day like even on weekends because there's nothing to do up here uh we went outside once
and got a ticket so not doing that again uh may never do it after they lift the quarantine
just gonna stay are you lying dude. You really got a ticket?
No way.
For what?
For rollerblading.
You've got to be kidding me.
Look, the story gets more embarrassing as you dive into it. I think, yeah.
You're delivering a scene in Telegram?
That was probably.
I was dressed as a chair of baby,
just giving words of encouragement to Brooklyn.
That was probably already against the law.
I mean, maybe.
I'm going to fight it. Well, it depends on what shorts he was wearing.
Yeah, and what day?
Was this on a Thursday between 2 and 4 p.m.?
It was.
You could only do that on an alternate side of the park.
Sir, skating flamboyantly is for that side of the street.
Sign clearly says.
How much was the ticket?
It's like 50 bucks.
But we have nothing else to do, so we're fighting it.
Right.
Yeah, well, you'd have to go to pay the ticket,
and you'd get another one on the way there.
Right.
So this is entrapment. Are you going to a roller blade into the courtroom to make a point?
I mean, once you get them, you don't take them off.
Yeah. I actually have mine on right now. Yeah, of course. I just,
I made some roller blades. I'm not even joking.
I made my old hockey skates into roller bladesades because I haven't been able to play hockey.
I'm going a little nuts because I've been hooked on hockey lately.
So I hear you.
I think we should all be able to rollerblade.
I'm not wearing rollerblades, but I am all padded up.
That counts.
He's just clumsy.
Yeah, that is Trey Gallion.
Hello, Trey.
Hey, what's up?
Yeah.
I have not gotten a ticket.
Ever?
No, that's a lie.
I did get one a few years back.
For wearing pads?
Yeah.
Remember that other guy in Batman who's wearing hockey equipment.
Yeah, the fat Batman.
That's me.
I'm Fat Man.
Do you want to hear Fat Man's
theme song?
Yes.
Donuts.
I want some donuts, Alfred.
It's like if Jeff Garlin played Batman
Don't you think you should go
Fight crime tonight sir
More Hot Pockets
Oh now it's Jim Gaffigan
Now it's Gaffigan playing
I hope he gets
Like a penny every time someone even mentions
Even when Hot Pockets
Makes one they have to pay him Yeah they actually owe Gaffigan Even when Hot Pockets makes one, they have to pay him.
Yeah, they actually owe Gaffigan money now.
Hot Pockets.
Made them much more popular than they ever were.
We had Hot Pockets as a kid,
and I loved them, I'll admit it.
Oh, yeah.
Totally.
And they were awesome.
And they were awesome pies, too.
But so good.
Man, they were tasty.
Yeah.
I've been getting back into pizza rolls.
Now, do you guys do oven or microwave?
I'm talking a mix, depending on the brand.
On whether you go in microwave or oven?
Because some are good with the brand of the pizza roll,
because some of them are pretty good microwave,
but generally you're better off with the oven and it's also comes down to
your level of patience that's true microwaves because you can you can microwave something on
full power for 10 seconds or you could microwave it for on half power for five minutes and then on full power for 10 seconds.
You got a system.
Just watching like a Gordon Ramsay master class on microwaving.
With a chicken, you got to use power.
Can you hang on a second?
I got to go grab a pen.
What? What?
What?
All right, everyone just hold.
I want to write that down.
I want to write down that.
All right.
So we just jump right into the games,
and if there's time left at the end of the show,
then we will, you know, chat a little bit about if you've seen any movies lately.
But for now, I'm going to say, let the games begin!
And this first game is brand new.
It's a brand new game, and it's called In Honor of You, Ben.
Oh, boy.
It's called Dumb Motherfucker.
No.
There's a twist.
Oh, it's beautiful.
I love it.
It's called... What a called, what a weird,
such a weird name for a game.
I made up this game called Dumb Motherfucker just to mess with Ben.
No, the game is called Mr. Mr. Cab Driver.
Oh, excellent.
Yeah. And it's a game where.
Dude, you could have said it's called Mr. Cab Driver.
You dumb motherfucker.
I was waiting for it.
I know.
See, that's the thing is I have a fundamental misunderstanding of how twists work.
So...
This is a game where luck and your knowledge of movies with taxis in them
go hand in hand.
Okay.
While remaining,
while remaining one in my head.
Oh,
you don't,
you don't have to think of them ahead of time.
Cause I,
I don't think the answer is ever the name of a,
it gets real specific.
You're going to love it.
Oh, boy.
Here's how this game works. We're going to go alphabetical.
I'll start with you, Ben Bailey.
I will be.
I will ask you, yes.
I'll ask you a question, either
first name or last.
I'll ask you a question
about cabs in film,
and if you answer it correctly, you get a point if you miss i will give dale
cheeseman two choices and if he picks the correct answer he gets a point if he doesn't then dan
wait trey dale yeah i wrote down okay i i hate when i do this trey i always write down
ahead of time who i hope will be on
the show and it clearly wasn't me
now for some reason i got you mixed up with i mean it's a good person you get mixed up with
i think it's i think i wrote down dan for for dan van k But anyway, Trey, you get the lucky point.
Okay.
So I don't even have to answer nothing.
Well, no, you do, because then it'll rotate as people answer things correctly.
Okay.
Yeah, you'll see.
And it's also a very fast game in the sense that it can be over very quickly
because it's the first person to two points is the winner.
We'll start with you ben ready trickle down economics the game i think i'm ready as usual i fully comprehend
the rules of the game i have no questions or doubts and i'm ready to play all right
if you have any questions just ask me when we're at a stoplight
we actually i was going to tell you we changed it to stoplight challenge for you.
No way.
Yeah, no, we didn't.
But I do think of you.
I want to yell stoplight challenge once in a while instead of red light challenge.
I also like stop sign challenge.
Stop sign is better yeah but
answering the speed of a four-way intersection
depends how much traffic there is how much time depends on how much you like you know you might
not pause very much before you uh proceed uh okay so i just i i you know, Trey I don't know
how you feel about this but
I just watch Cash Cabin I cannot
believe that
Ben is you know driving
and doing the quiz
simultaneously in
Manhattan of all places
oh you think they got like a little driver
hidden away like under the
dash or something that's driving it for him
I think James Corden is driving a big truck.
And his,
James Corden is driving.
I thought that,
but I thought that,
but on the citizen app,
they do warnings with just up and down eighth Avenue,
just traffic or a taxi cab hit another pedestrian and Bailey filming and
just avoid that street.
I mean, I'm all into conspiracy theories, so I'm, I'm listening.
Let's push that one.
What I meant is James Corden is actually driving the cash cab. It's not me.
He's, he's hidden.
He's hidden underneath the hood and he's driving from up there.
It just looks like I am.
Oh, okay.
Right. I feel like you guys knew
that already yeah yeah just felt like an old parade float it's really i can't believe it
it's just uh the illusion has been uh has been shattered this is exclusive yeah
i'm gonna watch that show now and and I'm not going to care about anything,
but I'm not going to care about anything.
I mean, it is a minivan, right?
So spacious.
Oh, there's plenty around.
We're going to spark a whole group of online people who are, like,
analyzing Ben's knees.
Do you see how it starts slowing down before he moves his leg?
It's going to ruin your career.
I'm sorry we did this to you.
Hey, if something gets me out of that cab, I'll be happy.
I've been driving for years.
I got into comedy, so I wouldn't have to be a cab driver.
I got into the cab driving to support my comedy
what uh you do have another project to promote though right ben you have a podcast
i do i started doing a live show it's we call it uh working from home clever name i know uh
we do it wednesday this is our tagline once a week week on Wednesdays and Sundays, once a week on Wednesdays, we got Sundays. Uh, so it's just like a live,
it's kind of like a standup show turned into almost a variety show.
Cause we just do all these kinds of weird segments and stuff. Uh, but yeah,
we, and we go live live stream to all social media,
Twitter and Instagram and YouTube and Facebook.
It's fun, man. It's kept me sane through this
crazy period
that we're in. Just to have a little bit
of structure and a show to do.
It's been great.
Yeah, well, speaking of structure, are you ready for
your first question? Yes, man.
Let's do it.
If anybody wants to check that out, by the way, I'm real Ben Bailey
on all of his social media. Sorry. I should say
that, though.
If I'm going to mention the show by the way, I'm real Ben Bailey on all of his social media. Sorry. I should say that, though, if I'm going to mention the show.
All right, I'm ready. Here we go.
No, I'm glad you got that in.
How old was Jodie Foster when she played a prostitute in the film Taxi Driver.
How old was she or how old was the character?
How old was Jodie Foster herself while filming that motion picture? Oh, boy.
And what are my options now?
And this information was verified on a site called
creep.com what are my options i have to just guess i just have to know you just have to guess
i mean you can guess any age that a person could be oh well that's a that's that's too many to
choose from but of course you have a vague idea how old Jodie Foster is now, I suppose.
Yeah. And you have an idea
when Taxi Driver came out.
Yep.
So pick a number and wow
everybody. I'm going to say she was
six years old.
Jeez, dude. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Jeffrey Epstein just
perked up. Wait, but hang on a second.
I think he's just going to keep throwing out numbers.
And when we're back.
I promise.
He's just, he's fishing for what's the proper number.
I think, I think in the movie, her character is 15.
And, but, and, but I think she's probably was older than that.
I'm going to say she was, I'm going to say she was 19 years old.
Okay. Steel. That is, well, don't than that. I'm going to say she was, I'm going to say she was 19 years old. Okay. Steel.
That is, well, don't say that, but yes, that is incorrect.
Now Dale gets two options.
It seems unfair now, Ben, but we just wait.
It'll probably get more unfair.
now, Ben, but just wait.
It'll probably get more unfair.
That's what this game's designed to do, and you'll see why in a minute.
Was she
actually 12 or
15, Dale?
We watched this
a couple weeks ago, and we asked ourselves
that question, but it's one of those questions that you don't
look up the answer
because it would be sad.
I think she was probably like 12.
That is correct.
She was 12 years old.
That's terrible.
Oh, good God.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm so glad I was wrong.
Yeah, you don't want to, ugh.
I thought she must be older and look younger.
Wow.
I'm so glad I was wrong. I'm donating this point to victims everywhere. You know what? I thought she must be older and look younger. Wow.
I'm donating this point to victims everywhere.
I'm not taking the part.
She needs it.
All right.
I think she got an Oscar. Nobody has a point.
You all have zero because Dale gave his away.
I feel good about that.
History will remember me.
Victory 1, Dale 0,
Trey 0, and Ben 0.
All right, here we go.
Trey, you get this question
straight at you.
You also got to know the answer.
You ready?
Yes.
Who plays a ghost
cab driver in Scrooged?
Oh.
Oh my gosh.
It's
I wish there was more of this
on Jeopardy, more of people
snapping their fingers and saying
it's
Yeah, that'd be great, right? Oh man. More of this on Jeopardy, more of people snapping their fingers and saying it's.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
What is.
What's his name?
Buster.
Oh, man.
Steel.
You can't yet.
OK.
You have an answer. I can't think. Okay. Trey, you have an answer?
I can't think of his name.
Okay, we're going to go to Ben.
And, Ben, you get two options.
Okay, what are they? See, it's working out for you now.
Yeah.
Is that man's name David Johansson or Busta Rhymes?
David Johansson.
That is correct. Or Busta Poindex? David Johansson. That is correct.
Or Buster Poindexter.
Yes.
Yes.
Potential confusion.
Oh, Ben Bailey and your trivia
knowledge, damn it.
Yeah. Good for you, Ben
Bailey. Would you have given me credit
for Buster Poindexter?
Say what?
In the film film he was
credited as David Johansson yeah that's a no he's only alter ego right yeah
trade doesn't make the rules he's only Poindexter when he's hot I don't make
the rules I just decide decide which ones to follow.
That's fair.
Fair copy.
Wasn't that Lee Iacocca saying?
That's how he saved Chrysler.
So that means Dale Carnegie's up next.
Or Ben could donate his point to victims and this game's over.
Oh, no. And then the victims and this game's over. Oh no.
And then the victims of abuse win the game. No more donating points.
No more donating points. We got to do this. We got to find a winner.
So Trey, get ready.
Cause you have a chance to jump in here and do some business. I think.
I'm ready.
Yes.
In the movie Taxi,
starring Queen Latifah
and
blackface
Jimmy Fallon.
He wasn't in that movie, but that's just
what he's known as from now on.
He was in a sketch 20 years ago.
I mean, come on. I don't get that whole thing. Did he just announce that he's running as from now on because he was in a sketch 20 years ago. I don't get that whole thing.
Did he just announce that he's running for office?
Why did they dig that up now?
And why does it matter? He was at work.
It's not like he just
went rogue and did something
on SNL.
It's been a real slow news month.
He did a sketch.
And it's not even a good impression.
What did you say?
It's not even a good impression.
I thought it was pretty good, actually.
No, I think that's why he got away with it at the time.
Sort of like, you know, like Robert Downey Jr. and Tropic Thunder.
Everybody found it shocking, but that's part of what was funny about it, was that it was, you know, like Robert Downey Jr. and Tropic Thunder, everybody found it shocking, but that's part of what was funny about it
was that it was, you know, inappropriate.
I totally obviously thought of him as well.
I mean, how was it okay then,
and now it's like this thing that's going to ruin your career?
And if you look back at anything like SNL 10 years ago,
everything – having Jimmy Fallon wasn't appropriate.
SNL just apologizes. So Jimmy, everything, having Jimmy Fallon wasn't appropriate. Listen, I'll just apologize.
You know, he dresses up as everything.
He dresses up as women.
He's done gay characters.
Like, I'm sure he's been as horrible to every possible group.
Oh, yeah.
As somebody that was born in Boston,
his accent has greatly offended me
numerous times
Alright, so that's the movie, Taxi
that's when you establish that
Got it
Or wait, it's
Dale's getting the question
What stand-up comedian
plays a character called Freddy? What stand-up comedian plays a character called Freddy?
What stand-up comedian?
Oh, boy.
Yeah, I have no idea.
I don't know who Freddy was in the movie.
Right?
That's a tough question.
Was it a cameo?
Were they, like, a supporting character i don't
know yeah let's uh i'm not up to try it either yeah i didn't even watch that movie or yeah me
but i get two choices okay trey gets two choices and then ben's gonna win this thing if you don't
pick the right one trey dude 50 50 is the best odds I've ever had at any point during a Doug Loves Movies.
I thought you were going to say in your line.
You forget, Trey, those couple of times where you were told exactly what the answer was
and you didn't get it right.
Oh, I'm not forgetting those.
Okay.
All right.
Which comedian was in Taxi?
Joey Diaz or Rick Overton?
Ooh.
Who played Freddy?
Who played Freddy?
Rick Overton.
That is incorrect.
Oh, no!
Oh, my gosh.
We go to Ben.
There's only two options, right?
There's only one.
Do you understand how luck is cut?
Lady Luck has signed on you.
I'm going to have to go with Joey Coco Diaz.
Joey Diaz plays Freddie in Taxi.
Yes, that is correct.
Oh, that hurts.
Yeah, I was hoping you were going to pull a tray.
And so Ben wins
the first and maybe last ever
game of Mr. Cab Driver.
Of Mr. Cab Driver,
you dumb motherfucker.
You dumb motherfucker.
I can't believe I guessed that Jodie Foster was 19.
That game was aptly named.
Yeah, man.
Like, the next time you see a picture of her in that movie,
you're going to feel bad, dude. Yeah.
I've seen it.
I've seen it plenty.
I was just living in a dream world.
Yeah, she is so not 19 in that.
Twelve-year-old girls play
prostitutes in films and it's okay.
It was an interesting
time, the 70s, but
for now... Very different from
now, obviously, yeah. But for now,
Ben Bailey, you, since
you won that game, I'm going to tell
you what that means for you.
Okay.
After these messages.
We will be right back.
We're back.
That was holy.
It's faster every time.
That was not a long wait at all.
I was prepared for music.
I mean, I don't want to pat myself on the back, but those commercials went by so fast because they were so entertaining to listen to.
I think you're right.
It seemed like it.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Let's run them one more time.
We're better.
So much better that time, yeah.
I love this format on our computers at home because you have no idea what
i'm doing um is this part of the game i could run i could i guess i can't smoke weed i'm at my folks
house wait a second that's real huh you really can't smoke weed at your folks' house?
Well, outside I can, but I didn't have time to run outside.
It was either smoke weed or make a Tito's and soda.
So I went with the Tito's and soda.
Okay.
That's smart play, I think.
But I am going to smoke weed after we're done.
Oh, thank you.
Didn't you have another show called Doug Loves Tito's and Soda?
I did for a little while, but now I've moved on to, I'm more into wine.
Oh, you're drinking the wine, eh?
Yeah, I like Lambrusco. Have you ever had that?
Yeah, yeah, man. I only like red wine.
White wine, I've never met a white wine that I really liked, but red wine.
A good Montepulciano.
Montepulciano! Montepulciano.
Yeah, that's the only one I know, and it's so fun to say.
So that's all I order at Italian restaurants.
Is that like the last accent you can do without anybody getting mad at you?
The Italian?
Yeah.
Well, my mom still says Goomba Louie.
Is that racist?
I don't think you can do that anymore.
She's from a different time.
Montepulciano.
People were stupid.
Hey, Goomba
Louie.
Give me the Montepulciano.
Alright, so
we're going to play a game.
Since Ben Bailey won the game before the break,
he gets the pivotal major advantage in this next game
because we're going to play last person standing.
And you guys have all played this before.
The idea is that we're going to take turns naming the films of one particular actor or actress.
I like to play along in this game, so I don't know who it's going to be yet.
Because the person who's going to determine the name of the person we're going to play this today with is Ben Bailey.
Oh, I'm going to
choose? Yeah, so you can
strategically choose. If you know
an actor that you think the
rest of us won't be as knowledgeable
about the titles
of the films that that man or woman was
in, that would
probably be the way to go.
This is like a whole new level of pressure,
man.
Well, we could cheat because we're not on video, right?
Oh, good point.
Yes, you could cheat.
Thank you.
Uh-huh.
Just throwing that out there. Your honesty is really, really, I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Everyone listening, just check the time,
and this podcast is going to run for three hours.
No one's going to miss anything.
I promise not to cheat.
It just would be so funny if Trey was suddenly the most confident player.
I, for one, promise not to cheat anymore.
I wish that Trey had IMDb open because I would love to hear him try to sell
the answers that he's given.
Do you want me to do it?
Well, now it's spoiled.
You can't do it now.
All right.
Yeah, just play fair and square and lose to Mr. Bailey,
and then we'll all be on our way.
Hey, Ma, come here and feed me answers.
All right, I'm going to say Clint Eastwood.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh.
What a selection.
Now, point of order, you can decide, Ben Bailey,
if we're talking his films as just an actor or if you want to throw a director
on top of it because he did he has directed a few things he's not in that's true i i leave that to
you you're a master of ceremonies here buddy well i love leaving in director because then that just
gives even more titles so we'll say the films that are starring or directed
by, you know, nothing that he,
I don't know how much stuff he's produced that he also
didn't direct or star in, but
films that
Clint Eastwood,
are the other guys even, are you
still there, Dale and Trey? Yeah, here.
Busy panicking and typing.
Is Clint spelled with a Y?
C-H-L-Y-N-T-F.
Oh, I thought the Y was in Eastwood.
East Woody.
This guy's on different films.
Ben, did you say one already?
I have not yet said a movie now okay
yeah start us off um i i can't think of any i'm sorry
ask somebody on the street, man.
Oh, that's fantastic.
I'd like to use a street shout out.
Yeah, man.
All right.
I'm going to go with
Sudden Impact.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's an interesting starting one.
All right.
Yeah, that's a
kind of right in the middle
of his whole career.
I bet.
Dale?
Dirty Harry.
Dirty Harry.
Trey.
The good, the bad, and the Dale Cheeseman.
Hey.
Hey, I got that.
Good, the bad, and the ugly.
All right.
In some game shows, Trey, that kind of wordplay would get you thrown off.
What shows?
And this is one of those shows.
Like Wheel of Fortune.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
Yeah, you can't say any words that aren't in the puzzle,
even if you're just having fun.
Wheel of Fish.
I think you'd be thrown off of Wheel of Fish as well.
Hey, what would happen, Ben, if somebody, if you said, like,
who invented electricity, and the person goes,
Benjamin Franklin Skunk? electricity and the person goes benjamin franklin skunk
like what if somebody threw in another word that's not correct
uh i i probably would give them another chance to say it correctly
but they got benjamin franklin in there right yeah
benjamin franklin skunk is a different guy he's a animal expert i just was trying to think of something it's just just a ridiculous word to then throw in there
you know statue of liberty soup right because pat sajak would not stand for it he'd just say
yeah that's incorrect why did you add that word?
Yeah. He would remove this.
So I think there's probably going to be a little leeway and you're also
probably going to take him to a hospital because they're probably stroking
out.
Yeah. Yeah. I guess you answered your own question.
So Trey, do you see what happens when you say goofy answers?
Yeah. Sorry. No more goofy answers.
I apologize.
Yeah.
Let's keep this serious,
man.
Yeah.
Right.
That's my motto.
That in every which way,
but loose.
Nice.
Boom.
Does that mean it's back to me?
Mm hmm.
Uh,
the outlaw Josie Wales.
Oh, yes. The Outlaw Josie Wales Oh yes
Did you know that lots of other Josie Wales
Were going to sue the studio
The movie was going to just be called Josie Wales
And they had to add
The Outlaw so that law abiding
Josie Wales would not be
Hassled by
Gunslingers The cashier Josie Waleses would not be hassled by gunslingers.
The cashier Josie Wales
was really upset.
Oh my god,
she's beside herself.
And she's
a woman. She's like at Sunday
dinner with the family and they think
she's robbed a bank.
Oh, excelente. The cash bank. Oh, excellente.
Look at you.
Oh, deal.
Oh, we're back.
Ben, has anyone ever given birth in your cab, like, during the show,
like an emergency ride?
They just hopped in?
You mean besides me?
No.
And you're just like, well, you win the show.
That's a million-dollar baby.
Oh, God.
Set yourself up.
God damn you.
No joke answers.
Yeah, quit joking around.
But that's the thing, Trey.
He said the title beautifully and perfectly.
Okay.
So try that.
Try one of those.
Okay.
I went to Waffle House earlier with my brother. Okay. Yeah. So try that. Try one of those. Okay. Um,
I went to waffle house earlier with my brother and I paid with a fistful of dollars.
Oh boy.
That's fun.
Did you know that you could also get,
uh,
you could, you could also get, also get some hash browns for a few dollars more?
That's my answer.
For a few dollars more.
Ben? that's my answer for a few dollars more ben uh
you got this absolute power it was your idea
oh you yeah i see what you're doing you're saving some you're going you're pulling out deep ones
i'm just naming anything I can think of.
Dale.
All right.
If people don't keep quarantining, we're going to have trouble with the curve.
Wow.
Flattening the curve.
I'm just going to say the names now.
You know what?
It's resolved i think it's the trouble with the curve but i will accept it's not it isn't it's just not the trouble with the curve not the trouble
with the curve i'm just saying from a marketing perspective i wouldn't do that
the trouble with the trouble of the curve trouble.
The planet of the trouble with the curve.
Yeah.
Trey.
The trouble with.
You know, the best way to smoke weed.
Let me think about this one for a second.
It's a game within a game.
Yeah.
Right.
Within a game.
Any which way you can,
I guess.
Cause I'll give away another answer.
So go ahead.
Any which way you can.
That is the best way to smoke weed.
Any which way,
even if it's outside at your mom and dad's place.
Yeah.
You just gotta be careful that you don't want to wind up with a dead pool.
Ooh.
Nice. Yeah. mystic river did you know that most of the actors that are in mystic river have it like as their number one
most known for in their on their imdb page you kidding me. Did not know that. It's weird.
That is weird. There's some
fucking big name people in that movie. A lot of
them. And it's
definitely in their top four for
anybody that was in it.
For some reason, it registers really big with
like, I guess it was kind of an actor
showcase because everybody in it is so
fucking sad the whole time.
Yeah, it's heavy. It's heavy shit.
Yeah. Dale?
The Mule.
Speaking of heavy shit.
The Mule.
The Mule?
Ooh, that was a good one. I liked that one.
You did?
Yeah, I liked The Mule.
Would you say it's because you really
related to his character in that one?
I mean, I can neither confirm nor deny.
Because you never know.
You might become an old racist.
Oh.
That went in a different direction than I thought it was going to.
Wasn't he old and racist in that movie?
I don't remember him being racist, but maybe.
Maybe, yeah.
I just...
Yeah.
Ugh.
Just the way he looks at people out the window of his car is kind of racist.
Yeah.
What else you got, Trey?
Oh, we're back to me?
Mm-hmm.
He was in a movie called The Unforgiven.
He was in a movie called The Unforgiven.
What if I told you you could accomplish more with less?
Okay.
Wow.
Remind me to be a telemarketer. Call you because you were real easy to convince.
I take after my dad.
Okay.
It's just unforgiven.
Oh, unforgiven. Okay.
Yeah. Good job.
Good job not taking the hint.
Does he still get credit for that,oug unforgiven he does ben because
you know what he's not gonna win right i don't know about that i'm running low man come on
i can think of at least two more we got a real horse race you can think of at least two more
that might be approximate yeah. Do any comedies?
Let me try to think of one that you will say.
No, don't.
Um, no, I don't know what Trey's going to say.
So I'm just going to say what I said, what I say whenever I'm, you know,
in trouble and need help. I just yell, Sully!
Ooh, that was not one of them.
Right?
Thank goodness.
I yell Sully, and then he either lands the plane or brings me a sandwich,
whatever the scenario is.
He's very, Sully's very helpful.
Wait, he was actually in that?
What?
In Sully? We're directing Sully. Oh,. Wait, he was actually in that? What? Clint Eastwood directed Sully.
Oh, we're doing directing too.
Yeah.
Starring who?
Tom Hanks. I would have loved it though
if Clint Eastwood played Sully.
Yeah, I would watch that one.
Yeah, because first of all,
he would fly around and kill all the other birds.
God damn geese.
We missed a few.
We're going back up.
We missed a few.
He just pulls it back up.
He would have some hateful word for geese that none of us had ever heard.
Yeah, he'd call geese pig fuckers or something.
Okay, so...
Am I up?
The Iger Sanction.
Wow, see?
That's not a real movie.
That's going to take you to the winner's circle,
that kind of action right there.
Yeah, for real.
Iger Sanction.
Dale.
We've been talking about him being old and racist,
but we haven't mentioned his most old and most racist, Gran Torino.
Oh, you dick.
That was one of mine.
So you're suggesting that since Gran Torino,
in the years that have gone by before the mole,
he's been like Benjamin Buttoning or something?
The mule.
Mole. the mole he's been like benjamin buttoning or something he was the mole the season that kathy griffin was on all right um
all right so we're not going to win. You know, stuff like that.
Wait, are we on me now?
I think so, yeah.
You guys know what I call my taint?
Oh, no.
Dirty Harry.
We already said that one.
Oh, did we really?
That wasn't his guess.
He was just sharing a little information about himself.
Why else would you, what else would you call your, all right.
I think you should call yours.
No, wait, it's still my turn, right?
Or am I out now?
I think you should call your tank Gorillas in the Mist.
Damn it.
If we discovered this bit at the top of this game.
That's true.
I am out of gold bond right now.
Game within a game within a game.
But that's not a Clint Eastwood movie. I'm a Clint Eastwood film.
I have a funny nickname for your tank.
Go.
That's just a fun title.
Oh, I have another one, though.
What?
Yeah.
Whose turn is it?
Where are we at?
Well, are you going to
give me another go
since Dirty Harry
was already taken?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Still you.
Still you.
Okay.
I mean, if I was
locked up here at some point,
I think I also
could have pulled off
and escaped from Alcatraz.
Boom.
Okay.
Doug is skeptical.
I mean, you could turn any title into
a brag.
Wait, was he in
Brag?
Alright, I'll give you an example.
Whenever I have sex, people are like, let's call him Bronco Billy.
Nice pull, Bronco Billy.
Why are there people there?
Just talking about you.
That's another podcast.
Who's that guy fucking in the corner at the party oh that's bronco billy they're
taping a show it's called doug loves to fuck
no there's a new there's a new fetish it's very exciting and dangerous
it's people that want to watch me have sex while they're all crowded in the same room.
You just don't know who's going to get what or why.
Ted.
What?
It's your turn.
What about the sequel to the Iger sanction?
Wait, it's my turn?
It's called Neither Sanction.
Wait, what movie did you say, Doug?
Eager, Neither, Eager, Neither. I think it's Neither.
I said Bronco Billy.
Oh, Bronco Billy, right.
All right, I'm going to say Two Mules for Sister Sarah.
Oh, my God.
I have no idea that The Mule was the prequel to Two Mules.
Yeah, he was.
It was before he was a racist.
All right.
Two Mules for Sister Sarah.
That's a fun title.
Dale?
I can't remember the Dirty Harry series, if it does the numbers or not.
I don't think so.
No?
Yeah.
All right, so The Enforcer?
Yeah.
Good job.
Nice poll, man.
Shout out to my dad.
That was a good one.
Wait a minute.
You used a shout out from your dad?
No, no, no.
Just he made me watch all the Dirty Harrys with him.
He made you watch his taint?
That's what we called him.
Trey, got anything else for us?
Yeah, man.
One where he rips out Mario Van Peebles' earring.
Heartbreak Ridge! Heartbreak Ridge!
That's not how this game works.
Oh. How does it work?
What?
Oh, you thought of it?
What are you talking about?
It's Heartbreak Ridge, right?
Isn't that the one?
Can you just ask yourself and then scream
Heartbreak Ridge twice?
Well, yeah!
I sounded like someone else was also talking.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Because the only other people here are my mom and sister,
and they have way higher voices.
No, I mean one of the other guests.
Heartbreak Ridge?
I thought Ben Bailey was yelling Heartbreak Ridge.
I really did.
No, Heartbreak Ridge.
That was me.
Yeah.
It's just it was really weird timing.
Go back and listen to it.
Okay, hang on.
Alright, I'm going to say
Oh
Oh
No, that doesn't sound good.
Pink Cadillac.
Oh, dang, dude. Yeah. pink cadillac oh dang dude yeah thunderbolt thunderbolt and lightfoot oh damn it man
yeah trey gets really more and more angry that other people know things
yeah well he's taking all the good westerns, man.
That one's
not really a western.
Two Meals for Sister Sarah is a western,
I'd say.
Is that the bank robber one? Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's he and Jeff Bridges. It's kind of a weird one.
Oh,
I was thinking of a different one.
That sounded like Mr. Belvedere sitting
on his own balls.
Dale, it's your turn. I'm trying to think if he was ever in any comedies.
I think he was, or things that were supposed to be, like
Every Which Way But Loose and Any Which Way You Can. I think he was or things that were supposed to be like every which way but loose and any which way you can
I'll go with every which way but loose
did he
direct
through the pines
I'm out
I'm completely
guessing
I'm completely guessing
gave up on that one.
No, I don't know what you're talking about there, but good job.
Stick around.
Trey?
Bridges of Madison County.
Right.
Nice one.
Thanks, Ma.
That's not funny, Trey.
This is a serious competition.
I mean, I kind of have to go with, I didn't want to say it yet,
but I have to kind of go with Trey Gallion's Indian name.
No, no, no.
This is going to be my last one.
Oh, if you say it pale rider damn it
wow hang on let me see if i can think of another one i think i'm up though aren't i yeah it's ben's
yeah i think that he directed uh american sniper didn't he he sure did oh wow but they don't say he directed they say he shot it
so subtle
uh dale you're out trey yeah yeah yeah what do you got got got this because this was an austin one
What do you got, got, got?
Because this was an Austin one.
Oh.
A Perfect World.
That's what I was going to say next.
That's a great one.
Interesting.
Thanks goodness I lived in Austin for so long.
That's really interesting, yeah.
That's really good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It's like you took everything you love about Austin.
It's like you just thrive off of that city heat.
Did you just sneak another one in there, Doug?
Yeah, city heat.
City heat.
Wow, I don't know that one.
What is that?
It's him and Burt Reynolds.
No way.
And they're like, you know, it's kind of during, you know, mobster times.
I'm going to go.
Roaring 20s.
I'm going to have to find that and watch that.
That's awesome.
There's some story that the two of them were at an audition.
You ever heard that story?
Burt Reynolds and Clint Eastwood are at an audition early in their careers. They're both just starting and
I think they told Clint Eastwood
he was ugly and they told
Burt Reynolds he couldn't act.
And then when they were leaving, they were walking out
together and Burt Reynolds was like, well, I can learn how to
act.
I don't know if it's a true story, but I like it.
In the line of fire.
Damn it. That's a good one.
That's a real good one.
What does that do to you, Trey?
Does that knock you out?
Yeah, that kills me because I had actually just thought of that one because that was the one with renee russo right and the plastic gun
damn it ben bailey sorry buddy that's cool man yeah i'm out malkovich is really good
yeah he was great in that one m Malkovich. All right. I'm going to say, how about, I'm going to go with Bloodwork.
Ooh, that's not real.
It is.
It is real, but so is Play Misty for me.
Oh,
wow.
Very good, man. I really
thought you were really on a
tightrope there.
Fuck.
There you go, Cheeseman.
Oh, shit.
Didn't someone
say tightrope already? Or maybe I just had it in
my head. I was going to say it.
Shit.
Where eagles dare.
Where eagles dare.
Hello?
Hey.
So it's like about, it's about like Philadelphia football,
you know, going on the road.
Fly, Eagles, fly, baby.
No, it's about Philadelphia home games.
Hey, man, Super Bowl champs.
Where Eagles dare not to soar.
I'm going to say Clint Eastwood.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, I got it.
J. Edgar.
The Leonardo DiCaprio horrible old age makeup.
J. Edgar.
Oh, did he direct that one
yep nice
yeah that's a nice pull dude
I didn't know he directed that
shit oh can I jump back in
I remembered one
nope
you can send it to
Ben via carrier pigeon
oh I think You can send it to Ben via carrier pigeon.
Oh, I think I thought of a Western that nobody said yet.
Did somebody say Magnum Force?
Nope.
Wow.
Nice.
Yes.
That's really good.
That's really good. That's really good.
I think all of us,
I think Ben, you did so good today
that all of us should paint your wagon.
Is that a crazy thing?
Yeah, it is, dude.
Paint your wagon?
Yes.
Get the fuck out of here.
Sunday afternoon
matinee westerns.
Come on.
It was a musical.
He sings in it.
It's a musical.
Was it in theaters?
Uh-huh.
And it also starred
what's his name?
Lee Marvin
who also sings in it.
Neither one of them
can sing really.
You said
Bloodwork already.
Yeah.
Ah, fuck.
I mean, can you remember the numbers of that Paris to whatever movie that he did about the...
Changeling.
Changeling.
Angelina Jolie directed Changeling.
Yes, you're right.
I forgot.
I'm going to be so mad if you beat me.
Well, I can't think of what that was called exactly.
It was like the 410 to Paris or something.
Oh, I think that's it, right?
Or the 510 to Yuma. No, I don't have it exactly right, but I don't want to help anybody.
It's the 310 to Yuma. Yeah. I don't want to help anybody. It's a 310 to humor.
Yeah.
I don't want to help Ben.
That's not him.
So let me move on to something else.
Let me move on to a movie he was in called,
Hey, Look Out Over There.
What?
What?
That thing's going to hit you in the head if you don't um i got you i can't think of one
oh i thought you were gonna say the western i was thinking of oh really what's that western
in my head well let's hear what ben has give us another one ben just to solidify your win here
uh i don't think anybody said high plains drifter yet no that's not yeah but that's
not the one i was thinking of you got another western well i don't remember did anybody say
hang them high i don't think so i don't think anybody did yeah huh well we could i probably
could have gone on for a while oh yeah i yeah. I thought I had like a respectable showing.
Did you ever see Hang Him High, Trey?
Yeah, yeah.
I got in a string where I watched a bunch of his spaghetti westerns
because they're just so much fun.
Yeah, but Hang Him High is about a miscommunication.
There was supposed to be a comma.
It was supposed to be hang them comma.
And so they ended up
hanging him way up in the air, which is not
important. You only have to hang him so many feet in the air.
You don't have to be that far off the ground
for them. Yeah, they hung him extra
high just because of a typo.
I love movie
trivia. So
did you really think of another one, Dale?
Richard Jewell.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
He directed Richard Jewell.
He likes to do those, you know, he really is into Sully and Richard Jewell
and the guys on the train that were the heroes.
He likes reenactment movies.
that were the heroes.
He likes reenactment movies.
He directed the rugby Invictus.
He did?
With Matt Damon.
I think he directed that too.
Sounds like something he'd direct.
But yeah, I think we did a pretty good job.
There's probably a few that we missed, but people can hit us up on our socials
and yell at us about how dumb we are.
Do you guys have anything?
Let's start with you,
Ben Bailey.
You got something to plug?
Yeah.
Well,
right now my whole tour,
I had,
I was two shows into a tour that the whole thing got postponed and I'm not
going to be back out on the road until I think November.
But in the meantime,
I've got that show every Wednesday and Sunday night that I do live on social
media. I'm real Ben Bailey on all of those.
And I've got a bunch of stuff on my YouTube channel,
a lot of standup and some, uh,
a web series and some short films and stuff that I made.
So check that out. You guys.
I'll check those out. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Thanks man. Yeah.
There's some fun stuff.
Thank you for being here, Ben.
And you won today you're in the winner yeah who'd you pick everything
went your way yeah it really worked out it really did i can't believe you let me choose
it seemed unfair let me choose when i love the guy yeah no but that's you know that to me is like i
need that kind of challenge, you know?
Yeah, man, you pulled out something I hadn't even heard of before.
I was like, nobody's heard of Two Mules for Sister Sarah.
I had heard of it, but forgot about it long ago, you know?
And the real, I think the deepest pull was Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.
Yeah, that's another one. You know, I know I've watched
that with my dad, but it was just
years ago. Yeah, so long ago. It's such
a weird movie. It's a very different thing for him.
It's hard to think, because
when you play the game, I try to picture
him in different types of
roles, like funny father,
but he's got two characters,
just hardened outlaw
or detective who hates
everybody and just i got locked like i thought i did a good number of movies and then y'all went
on for another hour the titles are like jesus christ as soon as someone else names a movie
all of a sudden you can't think of any right you're like wait i just had one where'd it go
well the other like y'all didn't take any from me
which was weird like everything i thought of i got to say and still ran out oh yeah
what have you uh what have you got to plug dale cheeseman um i uh whenever new york comes back
i got a weekly show in brooklyn at mad tropical on. It's a fun show, man. Yeah. It's one of the, it was one of the most attended shows in New York.
We'll see how it bounces back after Corona.
I'm going to blame the light audience on that.
Now you're lying.
We have that excuse for a while yet.
And I don't know yet, but I bought cheap plane tickets to a few places.
So if stuff opens up by the end of july i'll be around okay all right and uh
trey galion um is our denver gig still on do you know um i think we have like a date on the books
uh in july but uh i i don't. I don't know what their social distancing
is about. I don't know if I'm ready
to get into a plane by then
or not. Oh, fair enough.
It's kind of up in the air. I don't know
what to do about it, really.
I mean, I guess it kind of comes down to
if the club decides
to, I don't know if they're doing shows
yet there, even, so they may push
it. You just don't know. Each individual club, I don't know how far they're going to there they may push it you just don't know each individual club
I don't know how far they're going to push it because
each club has to figure out how they can do
like seating people but also have
social distancing and
are people going to have to wear masks
it's all just so like
we're all going to play bigger venues
we're going to play bigger venues
with less people in them right now
yeah it's just weird it's just like let's take the thing that makes stand-up comedy work
is is the audience of people and yeah you know get rid of that first and see see how stand-up comedy
well i saw a new york comic john fish posted a a parking lot show where they did it like a drive-in
movie where he was in the bed of a pickup truck and then people just
tuned into their FM radio or whatever.
Yeah. Wow.
In their cars, you know? Yeah.
You honk?
They have like burgers and fries and stuff.
Heckling. Yeah.
Heckling truck.
Yeah.
On roller skates delivering fast food.
Yeah. Doing stand-up in that environment would be like trying to end this show with the three of you guys.
Oh, sorry. All right. So besides Denver, that may happen.
And then also may happen July 30th in Portland, Maine at Lincoln's, maybe.
Nice. I'm sorry. I forgot to plug Cash cab. There's a whole reason I'm on here.
Oh yeah.
That's why,
that's why they wanted me to do it.
I'm on here.
I love you,
buddy.
Two hours of cash cab,
two hours,
every Wednesday night.
Yep.
Wednesdays at 1130 PM.
Eastern on Bravo.
Yeah.
Bravo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
get your two left t-shirts at creep records.
Okay.
Okay.
Anything else? that's it
um on a recent episode mark serratella suggested the movie tiger tale on netflix and i gotta say
it's good i get it you got it. You got it? Yeah, I got it.
Do you have, like, a favorite, Ben Bailey?
Thank you to all you guys for being here.
But, Ben, do you have a favorite, like, final line of a Clint Eastwood movie?
Does he have, like, a closing line that he says that you enjoy?
Oh, wow.
Like, at the end of a movie, huh?
Yeah, you know, like, does he ever have like the last line?
Like, you know, like, yep, that's San Francisco for you or something like that.
I don't I don't have anything in my head.
Are you thinking of something specific?
No, I'm just like I've been ending every episode with a closing line from a movie.
It doesn't even have to be.
I have a good closing line from a movie.
Okay, which one?
It's Raising Arizona.
Oh, this is perfect.
Because I haven't done that one yet.
And I also don't know what the last line is.
So you say the last line and then
Ryan will hit the music
and the show will be over.
As always.
Alright, here it is.
Who knows?
Maybe it was Utah.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another cocky.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.