Doug Loves Movies - Ben Schwartz, Samm Levine, and David Huntsberger Guest
Episode Date: April 7, 2012Live from Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, Doug welcomes fan favorites Ben Schwartz, Samm Levine, and David Huntsberger to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you from Flappers Comedy Club
In Burbank, California
On Thursday, April 5th
Yeah, let's hear it for all of those things
To Oceans 12
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I saw the documentary Bully,
and that movie got an R rating
because of the words
dicks, faggot, shit, motherfucker, and fucker.
All words that everyone under 18
who downloads this podcast just heard
and I think
they will survive.
The Motion Picture Association
needs to get their fucking
shit together.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's a good movie. It's about
bullies.
Don't forget to check
out the trailer for my new movie on YouTube.
As you might already be aware,
I'm ripping off Morgan Spurlock with every
movie I do from
now on, or until I get
bored with doing that. His latest movie
was called The Greatest Movie Ever Sold,
where he used product
placement to raise money to make a
movie about product placement
in a movie. So for my new movie, I'm going on tour to raise money to make a movie about product placement in a movie.
So for my new movie, I'm going on tour to raise money to make a movie about going on tour,
and it's called The Greatest Movie Ever Rolled.
And last night I got to see the fancy Hollywood premiere
of Morgan Spurlock's latest movie, Comic-Con Episode 4, A Fan's Hope.
And so, of course, this summer i'm going to start production on chronic on episode four a fan's dope
or or maybe i'll call it episode five thekes Back. I've got options.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
At Annabelle17 tweeted,
I bet Kony is forcing Eddie Murphy to make movies.
This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
LA, California
friends, I'll be interrupting the
gray ghost protocol
at CineFamily
on Wednesday, April 11th.
Appleton, Wisconsin friends,
we've added a late show at Skyline Comedy
Cafe on Monday, April 19th.
Orange County, California friends,
I'll be doing stand-up at the Brea
Improv on Monday, April 16th
from the corrections department
the last episode I misled
the great Edgar Wright by saying that
Woman in Red won the best
score Oscar, it was actually the best
song Oscar, but he and I
are convinced that he still would have gotten
the answer wrong, so
Kate McHughie's win stands
and the finals
of the TOC3
will happen shortly.
The prize bag is crazy tonight.
We got a really good one for you guys
and thank you for coming out. I thought it would be
like a, you know, this would be a good night to do
a show out here at Flappers because, you know,
a lot of us have the day off tomorrow
because tomorrow's Good Friday
and yay! And I appreciate everyone that did show up A lot of us have the day off tomorrow because tomorrow's Good Friday. And yay.
And I appreciate everyone that did show up, but it's not as busy as I thought it would be.
But that means more of you have a chance of winning because there are less of you.
Does that make sense?
Audience members contributed.
This is a first.
Audience members contributed to the prize bag a Creativity for Kids drawing activity book
from Wendy's Fast Food Restaurants.
Yeah.
And Xbox 360 Call of Duty Black Ops.
That's from audience members.
That's not even from guests.
Guests brought this T-shirt that says,
I don't understand the point of it.
We'll ask him when he gets out here.
But it says cool beer on it.
On sunglasses on a guy with a mustache and a big smile.
So who wouldn't want to wear that?
And another guest who's not affiliated with these films
brought all three of the Matrix movies.
So that's pretty cool
for one third of that.
And then
another guest
you can watch one and use
the other two other ones for other things.
Another guest brought a bunch
of stuff from
Go Foods, whatever that is.
Gofoodsgiving.com
And so there's just tons of like, it looks kind of like army rations,
but like in prettier packaging.
And then there's a hat that says legendary pictures.
But then there's just all these weird food things from Go Foods.
I don't know if any of them are any good or not.
We'll see. We'll see.
We'll see about that.
Oh, shit.
What else is in here?
There's too much stuff in here, you guys.
This is a ridiculous prize bag.
There's so much crap.
I'm going to start throwing it on the floor.
Oh, Kona Joe?
I don't know what that is.
Instant premium roast.
Again, from Go Foods.
I have no idea what Go Foods is
I'm sure this is a great promo for Go Foods yeah Doug Benson just threw all
the Go Foods shit on the floor it's pretty awesome from my friends at oh and
they'll go foods also included a water bottle that says Go Foods on it.
And then, did you guys hear the episode with the band Sleeper Agent that we did in the hotel room?
Yeah, we got their CD, Celebration, is included.
And also, the folks at Action Fest, the film festival with a body count,
it's in Asheville, North Carolina, April 12 through 15.
I'm going to go next year.
I can't make it this year,
but I'm definitely going to go.
They gave us a bunch of T-shirts,
and so one of those will be in the prize bag,
and then I'm just going to throw some of the others out into the heads up.
Good catch.
Just suddenly hurling shirts at people
makes them freak out
and they're like
just get hit in the face with a shirt
I'm trying to hit all sides you guys
good catch
smooth
and an Action Fest program
and a copy of my CD
Professional Humoridian
but also contributed by Action Fest a copy of my CD, Professional Humoridian, but also contributed by Action Fest,
a copy of the DVD of the great action movie, Ong Bak.
So that's all the stuff you're going to win.
Oh, and a CD from one of my guests that's called Humanitis.
And so that gives away to some of you who that guest will be.
And so please welcome to the stage
my friends David Hunsberger, Ben Schwartz,
and Sam the Ma'am Levine,
a.k.a. Lil Wolverine.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hello.
Hey.
All those things from GoFoods I brought them here
I got them free from somebody
And I didn't want them
And then I was like
Yeah I'll give them everything
And they came in this clear backpack
And then Benson's like
That's a pretty cool backpack
And you're like
Right I'm gonna keep that thing
So now you're just stuck with weird food
That's it
But you can hang out with little Japanese girls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is going to really help me in the tiny Japanese market.
My wallet and keys are in here.
Did anyone know what the T-shirt was in reference to?
There you go, one guy.
He just threw a T-shirt at that guy just for knowing what it is.
What is it in reference to?
Professor Blastoff podcast.
Oh, a little contingency.
There you go.
Enjoy them.
Have the rest of them.
Isn't that weird that they were all sitting together
on that side of the room?
Yeah.
All the Professor Blastoff people?
Six people all in immediate contact with one another.
They got that reference.
But yeah, it's a reference to the professor blast off
podcast so thanks for listening you guys get some free shirts that's david huntsberger uh and and
what does the shirt mean cool yeah it's uh people like when they write in always in their emails
with uh or things like that with cool beer and it was a it was a really subtle thing one time
i mentioned i was kind of awkward at parties and things like that.
And I was like, I don't know what I do.
I try to walk over to people and just say something like, hey, cool beer or whatever.
And Kyle or Tig were like, you would say that?
I was like, no, I would never say that.
They're like, yeah, when you're at a party, just go over and say something that they can all relate to.
Like, cool beer you got there or whatever.
So it just kind of became a dumb thing, and people latched on to it.
What do you mean it became a dumb thing? Six people latched on to it.
It started out a dumb thing.
That's awesome.
So yeah, and then Sam Levine brought all the Matrix movies.
Yeah, I brought the Matrix movies because I have re-bought those on DVD
and Blu-ray and HD DVD
like eight times. So now you guys
are stuck with my first ones.
Enjoy them. The first scratchy
copies? Yeah. If you play the crap out of them.
I watched the shit out of those. Actually, I don't
know that I ever watched Revolutions.
That copy that I own. That I've just donated.
You're compulsive in that you need to own all
three, though. Of course. You have to complete this set,
but you don't care to watch the whole set. I even have the Animatrix
somewhere as a standalone,
but I couldn't find it. Can I give you about
Eon Flux just because? I loved
Eon Flux, but not the movie with
Charlize. Sure.
I don't want to spoil the Matrix
movies for you guys, but there is no spoon.
That's what you think the movies are about yeah
there's no spoon you stopped watching after an hour into the first one yeah it's like oh there's
no spoon what what is there for me what's the point i'm a spoon man a huge spoon guy i love
the movie powder i only watch movies hoping that spoons will show up at some point. And when they say there's no spoon, I'm like, fuck it.
What's the point?
I don't need to watch this spoonless motion picture.
What's the point?
My mom, when I was a kid, was hanging out with some hippies.
And I remember waking up.
It was past my bedtime.
And they were sitting in the living room staring at spoons.
Like, invited me over.
Like, give it a shot.
Maybe you've got the gift.
And then a part of me was
like damn it i'm so shitty at stuff can't bend this goddamn spoon they were all sitting around
trying to bend spoons adults like five adults that by the way that means that they were trying
to make like heroin or something and you like interrupted them while they were burning their
spoon like burning the stuff in their spoons. Yuri Geller. We're just bending them.
Yuri Geller bent my house keys once.
Does anyone know who Yuri Geller is? Yuri Geller used to be the greatest reference,
but now eight out of
22 people.
Sorry guys, don't know who he is.
But that is a true story. He bent my house keys and I had to get them replaced
by my landlord.
Fucking Yuri Geller. He won't bend them back.
He can't.
He can. He won't. them back. He can't. He can.
He won't.
He doesn't have the ability.
Bend back my spoons.
So, Ben,
I love the Spider-Man trailer.
Thank you guys so much.
How many people
other than me
have brought that up to you?
How great was he
in Social Network?
I was very good
in Social Network.
Did you guys see me in
not Mr. Magorium's
Wonder Emporium, but
that movie that Terry Gilliam directed?
Dr. Parnassus. Yeah, it's the same kind of movie.
Same kind of movie.
And you're doing Death of a Salesman on
Broadway. Let me tell you, Philip Seymour Hoffman
is very nice.
Way more facial hair than you think he
would have, and he's 97 years young.
Wow.
So this was all, don't you think he he looks similar to andrew
garfield um college humor took uh i play a character called john ralphio college humor made
a whole trailer of john ralphio as spider-man oh like put it in the spider-man oh one person saw
it the same person who loves the podcast i saw it hysterical it was very funny yeah yeah that's a
great idea that's very cool it was really funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great idea. That's very cool. It was really funny.
Yeah. It's mostly the hair, right?
You gotta say. He's gotta be Jewish,
right?
I'm assuming Garfield?
He was Andrew Schwartz,
but he changed it.
I met someone once that had the last name
Schwartz and told me that they changed it, and they didn't
know what my last name was, and then they felt really
embarrassed.
It was a Latino woman who was half
Jewish, half Latino. I don't know
why I'm sharing this.
It made me feel uncomfortable. I was like,
oh, what was your real last name? She goes, Schwartz. And I go,
oh, that's my last name. She goes, oh, cool.
I remember I had
no self-confidence. It made me feel terrible.
Clear backpack.
I wish we had some mic stands, Doug.
Oh, shit. Those would be so helpful.
Jeff Ross's
real last name is Lipschultz.
Yeah, it is, right?
I love knowing that.
What's Jon Stewart's real last name?
Colbert.
I can see that.
I don't know what Jon Stewart's real last name is.
Well, it ain't Stewart.
Woody Allen's last name is something different, isn't it?
Konigsberg.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice.
Two nerds racing to that answer.
William Allen Konigsberg.
There's a winner for everything.
Yeah, yeah.
David, how's your podcast Lieutenant Rocket Man going?
Captain Takeoff, doing well doing well
captain blast off you now you like to you you'd like to approach everything from like kind of a
science nerd kind of angle on on your podcast a curious nerd angle yeah so we'll invite uh sort
experts and things like that on to fill us in yeah because we're dumb so but but you personally
are kind of you're kind of an egghead sure i've i enjoy science i don't retain it as well as i'd
like though so i keep having to learn the same things over and over like the table of elements
yeah right when i get down to zillinium like how was that first one? Damn it. They keep adding new ones.
Do they?
Yeah, actually they do. I thought that was a set thing. I didn't know they were like, oh, we got a new
element. Unobtainium?
I don't think that was
officially added. It will be.
James Cameron was like, I will go to
the bottom of the ocean if you don't add
this and I will sit
there until you do.
So David, what's you you but you know obviously the science and avatar you probably think is silly but like what's your favorite movie in terms of like a movie that like explains some science to to
people flat explains some science yeah flat navigators isigator's got some good stuff. Flat Navigator's huge. Is it? Is it a good one? No.
You know, what was the one where Nicolas Cage adaptation?
Oh, I was going to guess Bad Lieutenant 2.
That had some flower kind of science-y stuff.
I just watched that two days ago for like the fourth time.
It's good, right?
Chris Cooper's character, yeah. They talk about orchids a lot?
Yeah.
Yeah, crocodile.
Flowers and then
just mysterious alligator attacks
out of nowhere.
You don't cross those two things up
very often.
You're like,
oh, these flowers are beautiful.
You know what this scene needs?
Crocodile attack.
And then it happens.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I can't really think of a great
science. Alright, Sam Levine.
Same question.
Same question.
What's a good science movie?
Oh, Real Genius.
I changed my answer. Real Genius.
It's too late.
Weird science?
It's too late. What about weird science?
It's really weird science because there's very little science in it.
It's all just strange miracle.
I know, I know.
The Saint with Val Kilmer and Elizabeth Chu.
They discover cold fusion, remember?
Yeah, she's real smart in that one.
She's real smart.
She's got all her stuff on cards she keeps in her bra.
Yeah, but you don't ever see any side boob, though.
No side boob.
Yeah, it's very disappointing.
That movie where she and Jennifer Lawrence play mother-daughter
that are in a haunted house that's got ghosts.
Oh, WALL-E?
What?
Yes, WALL-E.
Am I off?
WALL-E 2.
Mm-hmm.
Ghost Protocol.
They all are in sweatshirts.
That looks really sexy.
I think Elizabeth Shue and Jennifer Lawrence make a good mother-daughter team.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm down with that.
Do you have anything in the can movie-wise, Sam?
Anything coming out?
I do.
I have a bunch of TV stuff coming out.
I didn't ask about TV.
You said movie.
It's in the can.
I only care about motion pictures.
Doug loves TV. I have no ask about TV. It's in the can. I only care about motion pictures.
I have no movies to promote currently.
Let's just go back then and remind everyone.
Check out Sidney White.
Check out Drones.
Drones?
It's an independent film I did
a couple years ago. It's on DVD now.
You can get it on demand.
It's surprisingly good.
Do you think anyone's demanding to see
drones?
It's up to you. My Nana.
I'll watch when I get home.
What's the run time on that? If you're over an hour and a half,
I'm not going to watch it. It's like 80 to 85
minutes. Oh, you just made it. I'll watch
it. I'll watch it. You just made
it. Levine, what's your real
name? Schwartz?
I asked Ben Schw made it. Levine, what's your real name? Schwartz? I asked
Ben Schwartz and Sam Levine when we were waiting
to come on. I was like, so, big Easter plans?
What are you guys?
Oh, no.
What's Huntsburger? Is that Jewish, too?
Swiss.
Swiss.
Yeah, how do you spell burger?
Wink. Yeah, exactly.
People come ask if that was German, but it's not. Yeah, how do you spell burger? Wink, wink. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, people come asking,
they thought it was German,
but it's not.
Yeah.
It's from Bern, Switzerland,
like Hun meaning people,
and then it just changed a whole bunch,
adapted, if you will,
if I can recall a movie that I love so much,
and it became Hunsburger with a T,
inexplicably.
But not Jewish, guys.
Cut him off, Benson.
Why are you waiting to cut him off?
Why did I let that go on for so long?
I'm so sorry.
I was just waiting for the chop to come off.
I was out of stuff when I started.
I'm so sorry.
I apologize.
He should have cut you off.
No, he should have.
Yeah, I was out there just floundering.
Just in the wind like that movie WALL-E.
Never seen it.
Never seen it.
Never seen it.
Never seen it.
Never seen it.
Jeff Garland's in it.
He plays...
Fat guy.
He plays one of...
Well, all of humanity
has become so fat
that everybody rides around
in little private...
Rascals.
Motorized rascals.
Except for one person.
Isn't one person alive?
What was it?
Wasn't there the guy who talks to everybody?
The captain?
Yeah, what was his name?
Captain somebody?
Captain Blastoff?
Jeff Garland was the captain.
No, I'm losing it.
But they...
Captain Schwartz from the audience.
Well done.
Good callback.
But the original script for...
They all kind of aren't good at walking anymore is the point. They become. Good callback. But the original script for they all kind of like aren't good at
walking anymore is the point. They're like they've
become so fat they don't really walk anymore.
And then but like in the
original script of
WALL-E. I've probably told this story
before but in the original script
they were just
human beings had become blobs that
don't even have working legs anymore
because we don't need to walk anymore in the future.
And that would have been really, like,
it was already a fucking creepy as hell movie.
Jesus.
That managed to win over America.
But can you imagine if they didn't have legs?
That would make the third act so different,
where they run to the rescue.
They all get out of their chairs and run.
The end of that movie in the first
draft is they die.
They fall on the ground. They all die and the robots take over.
So you have seen the picture.
I love that movie. I'll watch any
Pixar movie a hundred times.
Except for Brave. Fuck that.
Except for what? Brave. It's coming out.
I'm kidding.
Finally there's one that stars a girl
and you're like, fuck it.
Yeah, right. What is this girl going to do?
I don't watch Mulan either. No way.
I shut off Sleeping Beauty
every time the girl comes on.
That Prince Charming is awesome.
But to challenge your
Pixar claim,
Cars 2? I didn't see it.
Okay, so you won't see that ten times.
No. Sorry, guys.
But all the other ones are good.
That's their first failure, right?
Pretty good track record.
Not failure.
It did all right.
But it didn't get the expected Academy nod.
It's the first one that didn't get it since they made that category.
Cars 1 wasn't even that good.
Guys, come on.
What are we doing right now?
What a deep end to Cars 1. That comes up a lot on the show It's like if you're somebody
That's super into cars
You like cars
But if you're not
Super into cars
You're like
Why are those cars talking
Do you mean cars
Like why
Why are they acting like
Drivers aren't involved
In the car racing process
Yeah
Right
Yeah
Like it's just a car
With a big smile on its face
Just won that
fucking race and Mario Andretti
is just along for the ride.
Or Jeff Gordon.
One of them.
Definitely one of them.
So David, what have you
seen lately? Have you been to the cinema?
The last thing I saw in the cinema was The Hunger Games.
Yeah.
I didn't care for it okay um and no one's hungry at all in it oh there's never a sense of like suspense i like in
the book when she's she's thirsty and he's hamish is kind of like guiding her along and she and
she's about to die you get as he learns how tough she is
you get it as the viewer get a sense like oh she can she can figure shit out she's tough
and the movie is like i'm thirsty water immediately wait so so in the books he continues to guide her
once she's out there because once she's out there he sort of doesn't have contact with her anymore
right it's totally he is way different in the book like the first time when they go and pull
the numbers out he shows up as the ex-champion and he's so drunk he just falls off the stage.
So it sets the tone like, man, this guy's really fucked up all the time.
But in the movie, he's just casually like slick drunk.
Yeah, he's got like a flask, which is like, that's how you get away with being drunk.
Yeah.
But in the movie, he's like vomiting on himself drunk and they really butt heads.
In the book. In the book. In the movie, he's like vomiting on himself drunk, and they really butt heads. In the book.
In the book.
In the book.
And then, so later when she's out in the games and she's running along, she's like literally
dying of thirst, and she finally stops, and she thinks the balloon's going to come.
So she's like, water, and it doesn't show up.
And she's like, he hates me.
He's going to let me die out here.
And then she's like passing out and she feels mud.
And she's like, oh, mud feels, mud, water.
And scrambles over and finds water, drinks it.
It's like, ah, he was testing me.
Are you describing the whole book right now?
I was just going to say.
Holy shit.
Guys, that's chapter one.
Let me move forward here.
You wonder why they didn't put that in the movie.
That would have taken an hour and a half.
No, it's a small thing.
You just explained a huge, like, 400th scene.
She's a hunter. They show her shoot one bird. I think they get a half it's a small thing you just explained a huge like she's a hunter they show her shoot one bird i think they get it she's a great hunter she shot
that one bird she must be fucking awesome with a bow and arrow she did shoot the one bird the
second time she shoots she misses the target she misses and the third time she hits an apple so
you know two out of three times she's pretty good. She's decent. She's like a 66% shooter.
Yeah.
Would you have preferred they called it the Slightly Famished Games?
The Everything Works Out Games.
You waited on that joke that whole time?
And what about the only district that riots is the predominantly black district?
That was so oddly racist out of nowhere.
Really?
And they never explained it.
Yeah.
Just like cut away. Oh, this ain't right.
Just slamming shit around like
well, what the fuck was that? Wow.
When they show all the rich
people enjoying the Hunger Games,
are there no black people? I didn't notice.
No, there were. There were some.
I know there absolutely were. Well, that's good.
That's good that some of them
became part of the 1%.
Not totally racist.
That movie's not totally racist.
It's totally a 1%ers movie.
But the 1%ers all have crazy colored hair.
The social commentary they were trying to make there.
God, you have a point of view on this.
I really do.
Holy shit.
It's so fucking violent.
You asked the wrong question. I'll tell you, a movie that came out this. I really do. Holy shit. It's so fucking violent. You asked the wrong question.
I'll tell you, a movie that
came out earlier, like last year. How did you
start this like this? Anybody seen the movies?
I don't know. I guess I saw The Hunger Games. Here I
go.
You started the key of your own car.
I hated how little
attention in time got.
Granted, it was a little slow,
but it made the same social commentary
in a better Robin Hoodsy kind of way.
And the Hunger Games got all this hype,
and it's just dumb teenagers
and the bullies from District 1.
They're making fun of the kids that are weaker than them.
Like, guess he's all right.
Like, 80s style.
So goddamn annoying.
Let me ask you this, David.
Because I didn't read the books.
Neither did I. Yeah, because they're
for children.
And so are the goddamn
movies. Let's get back to Cars 2.
This adult show here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What do you like philosophically about Cars 2?
You notice that there were no black cars in Cars 2?
Why can't you make
a Lamborghini black? I've seen a Lamborghini black
before. Fucking 1%.
In the movie,
there's like a group
of like four or five kids
that like form an alliance
and run around trying to kill
Katniss. Sure. And they're all
laughing like it's the most fun thing
ever to be in the Hunger Games
and they never seem to stop
and think, oh, but all of us are going to be
dead soon because only one
can survive. Like, why would you form an alliance
with anyone that you would
have to eventually kill? It's not
Survivor where you have to eventually
vote against them.
You cast your ballot
against them and then they have to leave
and go stay in a four star hotel.
It's the fucking
Hunger Games where you're all
going to be dead. There's never
been in previous Hunger Games
a last minute decision to let two
people live, which happens
during this one for God
knows what reason. Spoiler.
If you haven't seen it yet,
if you haven't read the book
or seen the shitty movie yet,
you have no leg to stand on.
Why does no one call her cat piss?
I mean, that would develop her character.
Like, I get it.
She's got the thick skin about her.
She's used to this sort of treatment.
I get it.
You said cat piss?
No.
Cat piss.
Cat piss.
They can't make fun of her name because in the future, everyone has stupid names.
Yeah, true.
PETA?
Or everybody has names that Massachusetts people gave them.
Your name is PETA.
Are you sure it's not PETA?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It used to be a food.
That joke, Bob.
My name is Sandwich.
What?
It's Hammett's.
Everybody's name is a second.
No, you misheard me.
You guys remember that time that we had that huge argument about Mary Poppins?
Because that's another children's movie that you guys are all arguing about right now.
Wait, we argued about Mary Poppins?
No, and you shouldn't be arguing about this.
Because seriously, why are the chimney sweeps so happy?
Thank you so much.
And when do they find time to choreograph these sweet dances?
And why are they dancing?
Where did these fucking penguins
learn to dance so well?
That's insane.
By the way, that's the movie.
That one's on me.
Are they cleaning chimneys
with their faces?
Why are they so filthy all the time?
By the way,
and chim chimney is not a word
when you separate it
into three different fucking words.
It's one word.
I don't want to talk about it.
Why does the one in the Hunger
Game say, hey man? Oh my god!
Stop it, David! Stop it!
Those beards are pretty sweet, though.
No one acknowledges that. Beards? Yeah, the beards
are great. Oh yeah, what's his name?
American Beauty guy. Wes Bentley has a crazy
beard. Unbelievable.
There's never a scene of him meticulously
preparing his
fucked up beard
taking out a little
pocket mirror
yeah
this isn't
this isn't weird enough
give me 35 more minutes
just shave off
pieces of beards
yeah it's a
oh god damn it
so yes you did
you did see the Hunger Games
I did see it
I didn't
I didn't care for it
so much
cool
I'll tell you what I did see.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Singing in the Rain.
You guys seen that one?
Old class.
Yeah.
I finally saw it.
I loved it.
I thought it was great.
Oh, great.
Just thought I'd change the tone a little bit.
Where did that come from?
Just wanted to bring it back to something positive, balance it out.
I was so negative against the Hunger Games.
Really cool.
You're pro singing in the rain.
Yes.
There's terribly low body count
in that movie, though.
He is a little maniacal when he is actually
singing in the rain. He would be arrested.
He's just kicking water around.
Just like something.
That's my only thing I didn't like.
Otherwise, I thought it was great.
Debbie Reynolds, fantastic. So charming.
It's really good, yeah.
I'm really surprised that you like,
why would they even bother to watch Singing in the Rain?
That's awesome.
I saw they did, there's a Broadway,
not a Broadway, but a West End musical version of it
playing in England right now.
And I went and saw that.
And it's just like,
it's just like they reenact the entire movie
on stage and like i managed to walk away going oh well that was they just reenacted the movie like
like they should they should bring more to the table than just just doing it on stage but it
was kind of cool that they made it rain on stage and then he kicked water into the front row and
all the people in the front row were like my fucking fucking fur! Or whatever. Like they had a splash zone
and they didn't give out any plastic tarps
like they do at a Gallagher show.
And when she's singing behind her,
that must have looked pretty cool theater-wise
when they pull back the curtain
and then she's there singing behind.
Yeah, it was neat, but we saw the movie,
so it's not much of a surprise when that happens.
That's a tough one, though,
when they modern it up a little bit.
You know, like that.
Wait, without spoiling it for me, in the end, do they end up singing in the rain or no?
But no spoilers.
The rain singing happens pretty early on.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
How's the vaudeville guy?
Was he as good?
Yeah, he did a good job.
Doug, I just remembered, I'm in a movie called Columbus Circle.
It's out on DVD right now.
You should get it.
Oh, all right. Kevin Pollack is in it. Amy Smart movie called Columbus Circle. It's out on DVD right now. You should get it. Oh, all right.
Kevin Pollak is in it.
Amy Smart.
Jason Leigh.
What's the runtime?
I think it's the shortest movie ever.
It's like 82 minutes.
All your movies are way over an hour and a half.
You're just lying to me.
No, I swear.
82 minutes?
It's like I can't believe it was cut at that length.
All right.
Columbus Circle.
So it's about a group of people that discover America
and then jerk each other off.
Columbus Circle So it's about a group of people that discover America
And then jerk each other off
And they're like
Cum gives pox to whoever goes by them
Oh
The dreaded cum pox
You look sick
Who do you want to see that movie?
I don't want to talk about it
I want to see that movie
What have you seen lately, Ben Schwartz?
I saw The Hunger Games.
Oh, no!
Here we go.
Did you like it?
I did.
I never read the books.
You know what it was?
Because it was like a movie movie.
I feel like I watched so many independent movies that it was like a movie.
Same with Hugo.
When I saw Hugo, I was like, oh, this is fun because I'm watching a fucking movie.
I really enjoyed it that I went to a theater and I got to watch movie so same with the hunger games i did not read the books i had no
idea that it was going to be like gory uh no spoilers well people die you'll figure it out
but it's like but all just 22 people yeah just 22 people but um but like i loved how you just
covered up your mouth and nose when i started to give something away like you didn't even cover
your ears look at that look at what she's doing.
All of her information comes in through her, like, front orifices.
I listen through my nose.
Yeah.
What else?
I think I just...
And I saw Adaptation last week.
What else?
Oh, and I just re-rented Anchorman
because Anchorman 2 is coming out,
so I wanted to watch that again.
Yeah, you got to bone up.
I got real excited for that.
You got to be ready.
What do you think he's going to do in the sequel?
Do you think he and the whole news team
are going to move to another city?
I heard before they were going to go for something crazy,
and then the place said no,
so I don't know what they're going to do now.
I don't know what they're going to do now,
but I think he...
I really hope that it's basically Anchorman 1 again,
and Ed Helms gets bitten by a monkey or something.
And becomes like Jumanji. I can't wait. It's going to be amazing. Was Ed Helms in bitten by a monkey or something. It becomes like Jumanji.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
It's going to be amazing.
Was Ed Helms in Anchorman?
No, I'm taking a stab at Hangover 2.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm poking a little fun at it because it's not a different movie.
It's the same thing again.
Yeah, well, you certainly don't need the same thing again in Anchorman.
They could definitely do something.
I don't want them to do all in Spanish with subtitles.
Will Ferrell's done that already.
Did you guys see that?
Is it good? Is it fun?
Those aren't hearty claps.
Two thumbs up over there.
I bet it was good. I want to see it, man. I think it'll be funny.
Sam Levine, what have you seen lately?
I've seen three films in the previous week or so.
And they're all my films, Columbus Circle.
No, you're not
in that movie. No, your films.
I saw
Game Change, the HBO movie about Sarah Palin.
Okay.
Let's talk about real movies.
Alright, fair enough.
I saw Eggs Are Through the Kitchen.
I think Julianne Moore does an okay job, but I think
Tina Fey was a better...
In sketches, she was a better...
If you're going for laughs, yeah, Tina Fey's great.
Not just for laughs, just for the look and the way she sounded and everything.
No, no.
Julianne Moore was amazing.
She's going to get an Emmy for sure.
All right.
I just like...
People are like, oh, they're so good.
Ed Harris and Julianne Moore are so great.
It's just like, yeah, they're great at seeming like Ed Harris and Julianne Moore pretending
to be those other people.
I disagree.
I never was completely lost in it.
I lost it with Julianne Moore.
I forgot I was watching her.
All right.
I lost it with Julianne Moore.
Really?
Does she do that laugh all the time?
I know that was a visual thing, but she's always with this squinty eye and this mouth as far open as she can get it.
Every billboard
it drives me crazy to do that as sarah palin or she keep it together a little bit uh whatever the
thing you want me to say that's gonna make you not take another shit on the movie yes i think
i think her approach is too subtle to be honest with you i think julianne moore is too subtle
like she does too good of a job and in keeping making Sarah Palin a real person. Oh. Because she's not.
She's a fucking
cartoon character
who was just on
the Tonight,
Today show
the other day.
For the first time,
they show her,
they go,
they cut to her,
go,
Sarah Palin's gonna be
joining us
and she's got like
a stack of newspapers.
A stack of newspapers.
She's looking through
all of them like,
whoa,
newspapers.
Oh, wow.
It's so fucking corny.
And then,
and then Matt Lauer
and the whole gang
Talks to her and acts like she's
A person whose opinion matters
It's fucking brutal
But okay
Next movie
Exit Through the Gift Shop
I love that movie
I think it's on Netflix Instant
I heard a rumor that Mitt Romney
Is going to put Mr. Brainwash on the ticket
Really? Is it going to put Mr. Brainwash on the ticket.
Really? He's going to be his vice presidential.
I would vote for Romney then.
Romney Brainwash.
Romney Brainwash.
I put that on the back of my car.
At Melrose and I think Highland, there's a new Mr. Brainwash that's like John Lennon and Yoko.
Have you guys seen that?
Oh, it's them naked together? Yeah. And that's within the last couple months, Ioko. Have you guys seen that? Oh, it's them like naked together?
Yeah.
And that's within the last couple months, I think.
So he's still out there making it happen.
Good for him.
Good for Brainwash.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's a good movie.
And what's your third one?
What's your third one?
It's the movie Thief, the James Caan movie.
That one old school.
You rented it or whatever?
No, it was on TV.
And I DVR'd it and then watched it the next day.
Michael Mann. Yeah, Michael Mann directed it. I think like his second feature. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of ridiculous. school rented it or whatever no it was on tv and uh i dvr'd it and then watched it michael man
yeah i think like his second feature yeah yeah yeah it's kind of ridiculous might have been his
first one i believe yeah it may have been first or second it's kind of ridiculous james con it's
like he gets his life totally together and then at the last set like he's a thief he's a safe
cracker and like he pulls all the shit together so everything's right in his life he's got this woman he's in love with he wants he adopts a baby and uh and then the thief is like um the guy who
pays him double crosses him and he's like you can't be saved because you've got a baby and a
wife and a business and he's like whatever and then he kicks his wife and his baby out and he
literally it blows up his business and then the movie ends. Dude, same exact logline in WALL-E.
That's...
Exactly.
So it's like the Kaiser Soze element,
except without all the cool revenge-y stuff afterward.
Yeah, there's no revenge-y stuff.
He's just like, whatever, now I got nothing.
Up yours.
Credits.
What are you going to do to me now?
It's like, I don't think I have to do anything, dude.
You just did it all yourself. Now you have to? It's like, I don't think I have to do anything, dude. You just did it all yourself.
Now you have to come work for me.
I don't know.
All right, I'm going to see right now what Leonard Maltin had to say about Thief.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So you guys can have a fight with each other about it.
What's the topic that we can fight about?
Oh, wait.
I before E. Hang on.
Thief.
Thief.
It's an Australian version of Thief. Thief of Baghdad. Thief who came to dinner. Thief. It's an Australian version of Thief.
Thief of Baghdad.
Thief who came to dinner.
Thief.
There it is.
What is Thief who came to dinner?
1981 is the year of Thief.
Three stars from Leonard.
He calls it an arresting drama about a professional thief
inventively realized by writer, director, man.
In his feature debut,
James Caan is excellent as a man with one drive.
Survival.
Stylishly photographed and scored by Tangerine Dream.
I can name that film in three names.
Am I doing this right?
How many negative names could you do?
You just saw it.
I could do it in, I don't know, two?
Two negative names.
James Caan and then, who's the chick?
Tuesday Weld?
Jim Belushi.
Jim Belushi, yeah.
That's correct.
Jim Belushi.
Did you think we said taking care of business?
Oh, I love that movie.
No, he's in the movie.
He's totally in the movie.
Wasn't he in K-9 also? He was. I love that movie. Yeah. Yeah. I really did like that movie He's in the movie He's totally in the movie Wasn't he in K-9 also?
He was
I loved that movie
Yeah
I really did like that movie
I'm sorry
We missed a great
Taking care of business reference
Because that movie
I love
You know why I love that movie
Don't you Doug?
I think I do
Why do I love that movie?
Because of what the working title was?
No
Oh because the working title
Was Philo Facts
Because it was about a guy losing his Philofax
and then another guy finding it and taking care of business.
I love that movie because it is one of the few fictional movies
where the Cubs win the World Series.
That's an exciting reason to like it.
Yeah.
If you follow Sam Levine on Twitter around baseball season,
it's all fucking Cubs shit.
It's whether they won or lost.
How does that new, I think it's MLB The Show this season,
how does that affect you?
It hurts me.
Yeah.
Really, it's painful to watch that commercial.
I can imagine.
Yeah.
Really, it's uncomfortable.
I heard that, this is a little off the subject,
but I heard that the Hunger Games was great.
In 2004, when the Red Sox won, this guy, Babe Ruth's house that he grew up in went on the market.
And the guy bought it and burned it to the ground, thus ending that curse.
So you guys need to do something about that goat.
We need to kill some goats.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
What culture
What culture eats goats
I don't want to do this
Mexicans
This is going to get racist
Before it gets not racist
There's no winner
In this conversation
Doug doesn't love sports
Or goats
No
Doug loves movies though
Yeah
What happened to this show
Just talking about
A fever pitch
The guy who mentioned
Jim Belushi
Who is third build In Thief Yeah, what happened to this show? Just talking about Fever Pitch. The guy who mentioned Jim Belushi,
who was third billed in Thief?
I can't.
Why are you making fun of your fans?
Just because he was so smart and I was so dumb.
Uh-oh.
I get it now.
Willie Nelson.
Yeah, Willie Nelson was third billed. Really?
Yeah, he's like James Caan's dad maybe or something. Or he's in prison. He's. Yeah, Willie Nelson was third bill. Really? Yeah, he's like James Caan's
dad, maybe, or something.
Or he's in prison. He is in prison, yeah.
Willie Nelson's in prison. Yeah, and he goes and visits him
and gets some... So it's either
a mentor or his dad. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Alright, Thief.
Check it out, you guys. Check it out, guys.
He blows up everything in the end. The music
sounds just like Risky Business, but the movie's
not fun. No.
Tangerine Dream.
They did like three movie scores, I think,
around that time,
and then they got out of the business.
Are you just playing Angry Birds now?
Mm-hmm.
Seems weird, man.
Just getting my phone ready for, you know,
you guys know what's coming.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, not to bring it up again so that David goes off again,
but are you guys...
I've said my piece.
I've said my piece.
Okay, do you guys
hunger for games?
Oh,
you got two in the barrel
for hunger game jokes.
Let's play build a title.
Yay.
Yeah, let's do it.
Low stakes,
very low stakes.
High stakes.
All you get for winning
is you get to go first
in the Leonard Maltin game tonight.
And you can get one okay food product.
Is that what it was called?
It's not okay.
It's called Go.
Go food.
Is it all stuff that makes you shit?
Is that why it's called...
Literally, I got a backpack of it.
Is that why it's called Go food?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It either makes you really hyper
or it makes you shit.
One of those two.
Go food. It's like really good for if you're yeah, yeah. It either makes you really hyper or it makes you shit. One of those two. GoFood.
It's like really good for if you're a space, an astronaut or something like that.
That's their big seller.
If you're a space or an astronaut.
Then they'd call it Go in a Tube Food.
I guess so.
All right.
Let's build a plan.
We'll just go straight across.
We'll start with Sam, then we'll go to Ben, and then David.
This first one was suggested by at LenaHedyFan1.
Wow.
I know.
On Twitter.
Suggested longest yard.
Oh, wow.
Sam Levine needs a movie that ends in long or longest or begins with yard or ard.
Can you think of any?
Wow, and I know you usually always come up
with one for both ends. No, not this time.
No. Not this time.
I was like, these guys are good. I don't give a shit what happens.
I'm just gonna
stick it out there and see if anybody
can deal with it.
Longest...
Don't help, you guys.
Also, longest day is of no help but don't don't please don't make
suggestions i know it's late and you've been drinking but uh blank longest yard there's a
movie called the yards they might have no oh there is yeah so the longest yards. That is awesome.
No, no.
If only there was a movie called Yard Sale,
then Ben would be in business.
What is this?
Yards?
Yards.
Longest yards.
Cool, man.
Yeah.
Real cool.
Good job.
Thanks.
Good job, fellow Jewish person.
Wow.
I love that.
Because you made that noise because you don't have Jewish people in Burbank, right?
I mean, there's no way I'm going to get anything.
Oblong, the Oblongs, that's a TV show.
That was close, though.
That's great, though.
Oblong, Gustiard.
That would be great.
What about you, David?
I'm just wishing that That Adam Sandler movie
Had been called
Just Play Along
As opposed to
Just Go With It
Oh yeah
That would have helped us
It would have really worked
I can't believe they're not
Naming movies
Just to help this game
That's bizarre
I don't
Nothing?
No
Alright
So just by adding an S
For yards Sam gets a point.
Thank you very much.
People are clapping at that.
How dare you?
Smart.
All right.
We'll start with David this time and come back the other way.
Gnice3D suggested on Twitter, God bless America.
So you need a movie, David, that ends with God or begins with America.
American Beauty.
Oh, okay.
God Bless American Beauty and the Beast.
Bringing it back
to animation.
Oh, no. You don't have any kids,
do you? No, I love anime. I'm doing
one of those DreamWorks animated movies.
I just did it. I love animated movies.
What's it called? It's called Turbo.
It stars everybody famous and then randomly
me.
It's like this person, this person, this person.
And the tiniest font. And Ben Schwartz
from RejectedJokes.com.
It's like Samuel L. Jackson
from Pulp Fiction. And Ben Schwartz
from Sunday Nights at the Upright Citizens Brigade
Theater.
So what is the title of your piece?
You got God Bless American Beauty and the Beast.
Beastmaster.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
What was the subtitle on Beastmaster 2?
Do you remember?
Oh, God.
Because that would have been fun to throw out,
but we'll just go with Beastmaster.
So we go back to David.
The Portal of Time.
Portal of Time.
Holy shit.
David, God Bless American Beauty and the Beast Master.
I'm going dear God bless.
That's what I was going to do.
Dear God bless American Beauty and the Beast Master.
Masters of the Universe.
There it is.
Masters of the Universal Soldier.
Nicely done
This is getting nasty
How are we so bad on the first one
Largest Yard was a hard one to start off with
That's a tough one
David, Dear God Bless American Beauty
And the Beastmasters
Of the Universal Soldier
Of Fortune
Of Fortune
Who was in that
Van Damme, I think.
Soldier of Fortune?
That was the whole title?
What about Fortunate Son?
That was a movie, right?
Nope.
Let's see you guys out there.
Give me one more minute.
How fortunate was he?
I don't know.
Yeah, give me one more second.
Give me the whole thing, Doug Benson.
Dear God bless American beauty and the beast masters of the universal soldier of fortune.
No.
Come on.
What am I going to do?
Fortune.
I think fortunate won, but I think that's a song from Buffalo Springfield or something.
I'm going to lose.
Sam.
All right, Sam.
Anything?
No.
David gets it.
Blank deer
Fortune blank
Nothing?
Nothing
Point goes to David Hudsberger
Well done David
That was a good round though guys
Yeah we really strung together
That was a good one
So Susie you lose
So soldiers of fortune
This is like the Hunger Games
We all teamed up there pretty well
If you make one more
Fucking Hunger Games reference
I feel like that was a positive one Yeah you did well i shouldn't shit on you you did well
i should give you it when you deserve it god i wish we had some mic stands
you kind of david you kind of remind me of pita a little bit
because i'm good at writing he could be like his older bro right
hutcherson yeah yeah in the, does he have an older brother?
Not that I know of.
Yeah, because if he did, why wouldn't that guy step up and go, I want a tribute.
Right.
Yeah, true.
I volunteer.
I volunteer in tribute.
David would be up there.
David would be like, I volunteer to tell you why this movie sucks.
Number one.
Round of applause.
How many people in this room have seen The Hunger Games?
Okay.
How many of you still live with your parents?
All right.
All right.
Sam.
I need to know.
What was your point?
How many felt like kind of on board with what I was saying, though?
It's a God damn kids movie.
It works for teenagers.
It is not a kids movie.
It is.
It's for teens.
Movies are for the child that lives in your mind.
No.
No.
I'm loving it.
You can do anything you want in life. I won't do it. I won't do it. I won't do it. I, no, no. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm loving it. You can do anything
you want in life. I'm sorry. I won't do it.
I won't do it.
I won't do it.
You know what's a good movie? Sideways.
That's a good movie. Not based on a book
for preteens. Right, and it's not for children.
But you're right. But, you know, like the books,
Harry Potter books were for kids.
Some of those turned out pretty good.
Those are terrible to watch as a grown person.
How do you feel about The Princess Bride?
There you go.
Oh.
Okay, so if your argument is,
if I see The Hunger Games when I'm 14 years old,
will I always like it?
Yes.
I think they should make a Princess Bride prequel
where you play a young Wallace Shawn.
Inconceivable.
God, that would be amazing.
That's a movie I'd watch if it was over 90 minutes.
I'd watch the
fook out of that thing.
I love that you're allowed to take such a firm stand
on 3D movies, but I can't take a stand
on movies that are based on books for teenagers.
I just think that, I personally think
that's where they went wrong with 100 Games
is it was a book for teenagers, but it was
a violent book for teenagers,
so they should have made it an R and fucked shit up.
Instead of every time someone's getting killed,
the camera starts spazzing out
and people that are watching it in IMAX start vomiting.
But it's made more money.
That movie has made more money
than almost any other movie in the universe
the first time it's come out.
And that's what's encouraging to me
is that the reason it made so much money
is because people loved the book which they read.
So it's just nice to know that,
even though it's children's literature,
it's nice to know people are reading still.
Because I gave up on reading years ago.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not into it.
I wait for the movie,
and then when the movie comes out, I'm disappointed.
Let the Hunger games live on and
play yes there you go all right so uh sam just uh david just got that point yeah just start with
ben zero so start with ben we'll go to sam and uh would you like uh you don't get to choose yep um
i'll take it matt j allen 27 suggested i love this dude children of men so you need a movie Colin27 suggested Children of Men.
So you need a movie that ends with children or begins with men.
Little Children of Men.
Nice.
Little?
Also a very funny title for an improv group.
For an improv group
starring Bert and Troyer
and the guy who plays Willow.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Warwick Davis. If you're not watching Life's Too Short, get onow. Oh, yeah.
Warwick Davis.
If you're not watching Life's Too Short,
get on it.
No, I just saw that YouTube clip.
I didn't watch it.
Yeah, it's fun.
Little Children of Men.
Okay, Little Children of Men.
Little Children of Men.
Don't leave.
No applause on that one.
No.
Because I went down with it. No one was impressed.
It would have been a work.
It would have worked better.
All right, David.
So you got gotta end with Little
Or begin with Leave
Stuart Little
Way to screw up the top of it
What is it Stuart Little
Stuart Little
Children of Men Don't Leave
Leave
Yeah Leave is gonna be
The bread and butter of this one guys
Yeah Leave
Leave
Being Las Vegas
Nice Very good Thank you guys for being so supportive of me Yeah, leave. Leaving Las Vegas.
Nice.
Very good.
Thank you guys for being so supportive of me and hating Sam.
I appreciate that.
Even if he gets this, let's let him have it.
He deserves it.
The crowd already gave you the taller hair award.
Yeah.
I appreciate it.
Sam, Stuart Little, Children of Men, Don't Leaving Las Vegas.
And you can't add an S to Vegas.
No matter how hard you try.
No.
Nothing?
I got nothing.
Wow.
You can do it.
Dave, you have one?
Leaving Las Vegas Vacation.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah.
There it is.
I knew it.
I felt like I was forgetting one.
Couldn't get it.
Nice job, David.
Vacation.
Do you guys have, without saying it, is there one that I don't know that's real easy?
Off vacation?
Vacation something?
I can't think of a movie that's vacation something.
And Sean is always a tough one.
It always leaves people.
What about Stew? Maybe something ends with Stew. always leaves people... Maybe something ends with stew.
Stew, yeah. Maybe something ends with stew.
Wally stew.
Ghost Protocol stew.
Hunger Games stew.
Hunger Games stew.
That would work. What about if it ends...
Yeah, if something ends in two.
And it says two. So if it ends and it says 2?
Yeah, yeah.
So if it's like
Fast and Furious 2.
Fast 2 Furious.
Yeah, yeah.
That one doesn't work.
There's some that
you got to find a sequel
that doesn't have a
what do you call it?
Gremlins 2.
That would be amazing.
A subtitle, yeah.
But wasn't Gremlins 2 called more?
Wasn't there more titles? Gremlins 2 The New Batch. Yeah, yeah But wasn't Gremlins 2 Called more Wasn't there more titles
Gremlins 2 the new batch
Yeah yeah
That's the hard part
Give me 10 seconds
Oh I've
Cars 2
Yeah that would work
That would be amazing
That would work
Why are you helping
Why are you helping
Because you already said
This is a meaningless game
Oh yeah that's true
Alright I'm not gonna
Waste any more time
I don't
I can't think one off
Car Stewart Little
Car Stewart Little
Would have been amazing
I screwed it up
Could you have done
What if you did like
It takes two
It takes two
That would have worked
Yeah
That would get in there
Yeah
I lost
That would have worked
Oh you win
David wins
David is on the board again
Alright I'll give you guys One more chance To tie it up with David If you don't We're gonna call him the winner David wins. David is on the board again.
All right.
I'll give you guys one more chance to tie it up with David.
If you don't, we're going to call him the winner.
Yeah.
And I can't win no matter what.
Suggested by.
No, you can still win.
Suggested by ate a tree.
Whatever that means.
Guy ate a tree.
Prove it Man
Oh wait we gotta determine who's gonna start
David got the point
So then we'll start with Ben and go to Sam
So
That's what you did last time
Yeah but watch this
Man on the moon
Iron man on the moon
Iron man on the moon
Iron man on the moon. Iron Man on the moon. Iron Man on the moon.
Iron Man on the moon struck.
Whoosh.
Whoosh.
Wow.
David's in trouble.
That is in trouble.
That's a hard one.
You've got to end with iron.
I, I guess.
Iron.
Okay.
Or eagle iron.
Yeah.
I like it.
Eagle iron. Eagle iron. Isn't there a movie called Iron Eagle. Yeah. I like it. Eagle Iron.
Eagle Iron.
Isn't there a movie called Iron Eagle?
Yeah, there's Eagle Iron. Iron Eagle Iron, Man on the Moon's truck.
Nice.
Yeah.
Da-da-da-da-da.
I'm going to wrap this cord up.
Iron Eagle Iron, Man on the Moon's truck.
That's a great name.
What do you got, Sam?
That's a movie, right?
Eagle Iron?
Is it unused now, Sam?
It is.
Okay.
Anything I would work.
Blank I.
Yeah.
Robot I?
No.
Just last second.
Robot, comma, I.
Comma, eye.
There's a movie called The Eye.
The Eye?
The Eye.
Yeah, we can't.
Can I accept that?
E-Y-E?
No, because you're not adding anything.
The?
Because the the doesn't count.
Evil Eye?
There's movies.
I don't think that's one.
Sure it is.
I'm pulling Graham Elwood. It's got to be. Who's in Evil Eye? Evil Eye? There's movies I don't think that's one Sure it is I'll pull a Graham Elwood
It's gotta be
Who's in Evil Eye?
Evil Eye
Seymour Cassell
And
Who else?
Jane Campion has a cameo
Can you think of anything that begins with truck?
Cause truck
Yeah I guess you're right
Go truck
Truck stop killer Alright you're just fucking truck uh uh truck stop killer all right you're just
fucking around i'm out i'm out i'm out do you have one day what about this what about this
and this might be dastardly what about i spy or an eagle yeah okay i said right back to i
again which is shitty i spy an eagle Iron I spy
Iron eagle
Iron man
Struck
I was so close
With liar liar
I'm not there though
But yeah ends in I
You know Blank Eye
You know that movie, Blank Eye?
Oh, yeah.
Wait a second.
I got you.
I can think of a few of those.
What about just Pie?
I've got two.
Pie.
Yeah.
I like it.
I like it.
Pie.
Pie Spy.
Pie Spy Eye.
This is the dumbest one of these you've ever done.
American Pie.
The moon struck. American ever done. American Pie.
Eagle Iron Man of the Moon struck.
American, yeah.
All right.
American Pie Spy Iron Eagle Iron Man of the Moon struck. Oh, you just added American?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck.
So you need blank American or something to begin with.
American is a TV show.
Truck.
There's got to be an easy American one out there.
American.
Blank American.
The American. Blank American. The American.
Thanks for playing.
Fucking George Clooney's in the crowd.
Oh, Coming to American.
How about that?
Coming to America.
Yeah, Coming to America.
Can you say the whole title because it'll make me happy?
Coming to American Pie Spy.
Iron Man.. Iron Man.
Eco Iron Man.
On the Moonstruck.
What do you got, David, for blank come?
That's tough.
Blank come.
You can't say Alan coming.
I know.
You can't bring up his friends.
The Russians are coming?
Oh. It's called The Russians are Coming. The Russians are coming. I know. You can't bring up his fragrance. The Russians are coming? Oh!
It's called The Russians are coming.
The Russians are coming. Twice, but that works. Yes. So the?
I have to do the? No, you have to use
Russians. Russians are coming.
The Russians are coming.
American pie
spy iron eagle iron
man of the moon strike.
I love that movie Coming to American, by the way, Doug.
Rush Hour doesn't work?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It had to be America, so we have to back up.
The Great Paintbrush?
That's got to be a Pixar movie.
Of the 11 that they've made?
No.
No.
I could name most of them.
That's a fun game.
Name a Pixar movie, David.
Toy Story?
Up.
Cars.
Toy Story 2?
Oh, I see.
We're game we're playing.
Toy Story 3.
Sorry, I didn't realize.
Cars 2.
WALL-E.
Fighting Nemo.
The Incredibles. Iron Giant. That was Pixar,... Cars 2. WALL-E. Fighting Nemo. The Incredibles.
Iron Giant. That was Pixar, no?
No, I'm sorry. Hold on. Give me a second.
Monsters, Inc.
Yeah.
I'm out.
Bugs Life.
Oh, good one.
Ratatouille.
Yeah.
Great one, Patton.
We set up, didn't we?
Yeah.
Is someone yelling rape?
All I hear is rape!
Rape!
That's their next one after rape.
Is Kim Novak in the audience?
That's so inside.
It's so good.
After Brave is rape.
I don't know.
What else is there?
Doug, do you have another one?
Cars, Cars 2.
We did those.
What other one? We did? Yeah. I don't know. What else is there? Doug, do you have another one? Cars, Cars 2. We did those. What other one?
We did?
Yeah.
WALL-E.
No, I didn't say WALL-E.
I said WALL-E.
I was like, how is it that the whole show I make a stupid joke about WALL-E?
Toy Story 3, we did all three of those.
Yeah, I think we did them all.
That's got to be a lot.
What did we miss?
I said Finding Nemo.
Oh, yeah, you did.
I said it.
Yeah.
Up. We said Up. This is a great game, said Finding Nemo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said it. Yeah. Up.
We said up.
This is a great game, guys.
Holy shit.
Oh, I don't have one for Brush.
That was fun.
For Brush, rather.
I don't have one.
First Toy Story, yeah.
So David wins everything.
Yeah, yeah.
David's the winner.
He starts in the audience.
All right.
Won't go home empty-handed.
Wish I had more T-shirts
to throw out.
That was pretty amazing, though.
You got somewhere to be, man?
Let's check what time it is.
We're doing a long show.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's go until midnight or 1.
Well, it's about a 90-minute show.
We started at about 10, 15.
I like it.
I got this.
I got nothing to do tonight.
I've been doing this for a while.
And, yeah, it's fun that everyone's so into it so late at night.
So thank you, guys.
And do you guys have name tags for these gentlemen to play for?
Look at that.
Oh, my God.
They're everywhere.
Zach the Block.
Love is everywhere.
I like the eraser head that says Nathan
Head. And there's a young lady in the
front row with a mask with my face on it.
Or a mosque, if you prefer.
But your name's Karana?
Craig is here.
It's pretty good, Mike.
I'm gonna go here with Bert.
Go grab the one you want to play for.
She wrote a shithead on the back, so don't reveal that.
Yeah.
What is it?
It's a Wilson volleyball.
Wow.
What did you use for red? Paint?
Spray paint.
It would have been great if she went my own blood.
You've written too many shitheads here.
I use menstrual blood to write.
Menstrual blood?
To make a Wilson face. Good luck. You better win me that food. I like her Wilson face. I like the face blood to write. Menstrual blood? To make a Wilson face.
Good luck.
You better win me that food.
I like her Wilson face.
I like the face too, though.
The face is cuter than it is in the movie.
Yeah, you did a great job.
It's a more likable face.
Yeah, it's nice.
Didn't everyone find it convenient in Castaway
that he loses Wilson right before he gets rescued?
Because I want to see the scene where he's still got Wilson and they
try to rescue him. No, I need my
volleyball. Not without Wilson.
His volleyball's covered in like
four-year-old blood, sir. What's wrong with you? I need
Wilson! Okay, this guy's
clearly mentally insane. Do not
rescue him. Put him in an asylum. All the rescuers
go, oh, boy.
I want
that scene. I love it. I'm going to put it down, though, boy. I want that scene.
I love it.
I'm going to put it down, though, so I don't get my hands all wet. Yeah, put it in your clear plastic backpack.
I want the scene years later where he's on the beach playing with his kids, and Wilson washes up on the shore.
It's, like, super embarrassing because he's running into his ex-wife or something.
I want to see that scene.
I don't want to see any more scenes from that movie.
All the ones that they have in there are plenty.
That's a long
ass movie and
get it, he works for FedEx so he
really wishes he could be there overnight.
So
Sam is playing for
Nitzia and she made a nice
picture of my
face that's used as a tag.
Yeah, you can wear it as a mask and she was
wearing it when I sat down. It was weird, dude.
You took a picture of it. I did.
And you wrote four shitheads on the back.
I will name them all. Whoa!
But that's excessive.
You're just supposed to pick one. Yeah.
So I hope Sam wins.
I hope I lose.
Does the volleyball have a shithead on it?
I think so. Right on top. Is that what that is?
Same name as the guy.
That's a good one.
I like that.
Okay.
But your name is Carol. Carol with a K.
Carol.
Carol.
And what's that you got there, David?
Obi-Wan Kenoburt.
And I got Jedi mind tricked into it.
This is the name tag you've been looking for.
Didn't he spell the first part
of Kenobi different though?
Is it K-E-N-O? No, this guy's really big into
Keno.
Who isn't? It's Keno Bert.
Oh man, that's Keno Bert, dude.
Every time he comes out of Las Vegas, he wins
like 30 bucks at Keno.
Fucking Keno Bert. This guy knows numbers.
That guy knows his shit.
This is the Keno you're looking for
Motherfucker
Also my name is Bert
Do something
I have a bad feeling about this Keno
That's awesome
Okay so that's who we're going to be playing for
Thank you all for bringing such creative name tags
And you know good luck next time.
I'm sure a lot of you come to the free episodes over at UCB every Tuesday.
And you'll get to try again.
David won.
So we'll start with David in this Leonard Maltin game.
Good luck, guys.
Yeah, good luck to everybody.
And good luck to you, Schwarz.
I know you hate me from the beginning.
I moved here in L.A.
It's true.
It's true.
I hate him.
I absolutely hate Ben Schwartz.
It's true?
Yeah.
That was.
I ask him to leave town all the time.
Can we all just get along?
That's my David Hunsberger impression.
Come on, fellas. Can we just get along? Can we all just get along? Completely inaccurate. Hey, you guys Huntsberger impression. Come on, fellas. Can't we just get along?
Can't we just get along? Completely inaccurate.
Hey, you guys see The Hunger Games? Come on.
I mean, I saw it. I don't have much to say about it.
Sit down. I'm going to talk to you for an hour and a half.
I was rooting for Peter because he
looks like he's my brother.
I like the book more because there were pages.
I mean,
what's the deal? I can flip pages.
I can't flip a movie.
You just sit there watching movie. You can't.
You just sit there watching it.
You can't touch it.
Yeah, you can't touch it.
That's how I sound.
I went up to the screen.
I went up to the screen.
I tried to change it to the next scene like I was watching Minority Report.
And I couldn't.
Boo, boo.
I licked my thumb like ten times to, like, make a point that I was going to turn a page.
And I painted it.
Whatever.
Anyway.
Anyway.
I went and saw it.
You asked for my opinion. Shut up, David. All right. No, you're right. You're right. Whatever. Anyway. Anyway. I went and saw it. You asked for my opinion.
Shut up, David.
All right.
No, you're right.
You're right.
You're right, guys.
You should just buy it.
This is at the Hunger Games.
You guys just want to watch the movie?
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I'll sit down.
I'll sit down.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Can someone get me more goobers?
I'll sit down, everybody.
It's cool.
How did that just happen?
I'm sorry, Dave.
It's cool.
That's okay, man.
I get it.
I really flew off the handle at the Hunger Games.
I apologize.
Future reviews will be pretty good.
Yeah, it was all right.
Yeah, it was okay.
It wasn't bad.
It was good watching.
Hey, Dave, what did you think of Hunger Games?
Not so bad.
Yeah, I kind of liked it.
I liked that guy, PETA.
I don't mind it.
I think he's pretty good.
That's my impression of you guys doing impression of me.
We'll start with David, then we'll go to Sam, and then Ben.
I think that's right.
And David, you get to pick a category.
Would you like Howard the Flock?
That's movies that star someone from Ron Howard's family.
Okay.
That's awesome.
You know, Clint, Bryce Dallas, his dad, Rance, Ron himself.
His dog, Apollo.
Yeah.
My fife.
That's movies where someone plays a flute.
Plays a flute?
My five.
Oh, shit.
That's great.
Today is Albert R. Broccoli's birthday today.
You know who Albert R. Broccoli is?
He produced Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Of course. Yes.
Huge Chitty Chitty fans in the audience.
But he also... The one guy who didn't
see Hunger Games loves Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
James Bond. The children fight
to the death in that too, I think. It's true.
No, it's...
He produced most of the James Bond movies.
Cubby Broccoli is what he's commonly referred to as.
And so that would be James Bond movies.
So you've got Howard the Flock, My Five, or...
His last name is...
Or James Bond movies.
Last name Broccoli ends up with the nickname Cubby.
Yeah, Cubby Broccoli.
Seems odd.
Yeah.
That sounds like a porno, Dave.
I think he was British.
I think he was British.
I'm going to go the Howard Flock.
It sounds like the place where they store all the vegetables.
Yeah.
Cubby Broccoli.
Which what?
I'm going the Howard Flock.
Howard Flock.
Smart move, Dave.
This has got a Howard in it.
I'm going Freckles.
It's from the years 2006.
Leonard Maltin gives it one and a half stars.
He says about this movie that it is, he calls it a fable or bedtime story.
And he also says about it that the lead character gives, the lead actor gives an empathetic performance.
The lead actor gives an empathetic performance.
And there are 12 names.
How many names did you get it in, David?
Captain Takeoff, Huntsberger?
Six.
Six names is his opening bid, Sam.
What are you going to do with it?
Zero names.
Whoa.
Wow.
I can't go lower.
I can't do negative,
so I'm going to have to ask you to name it. You can't go negative,
so he's just saying name it.
I'm going to have to say name it, buddy.
What do you think it is, Sam?
The Village.
No?
So confident.
Oh, I did miss it by one.
You missed it by one.
A lady in the audience says,
Lady in the Water. Yeah. Oh, Sam. Oh, I did miss it by one. Missed it by one. A lady in the audience says, lady in the water.
Yeah.
Oh, Sam.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I did every single one right.
But the confidence with which you got it wrong was very impressive.
Do I get that point, though?
It's not like I fucking said.
You made a moment, right?
You made a moment.
Yeah.
Carol, how do we feel about that?
Ben is on the board.
That's my girl, Carol.
Yeah.
I'm going to win
and never name anything.
Yeah, he's not going to leave you
stranded on an island
with just a ball to talk to.
I'm just going to keep asking people
to name that movie.
Hang in there, Keno Bert.
He's got to get back
to the Keno tables, man.
Guy picks numbers, man.
I'd like to change my answer
to that movie to Tron
so that the sound
the audience made
when I was wrong
is actually,
it's the same level
of how wrong
that answer would have been.
But Bryce Dallas Howard
was in The Village.
Yeah, she's the lead in The Village.
So it wasn't a terrible,
it wasn't not a terrible guess.
Yeah, perfectly reasonably wrong. Perfectly reasonably wrong. Very reasonably wrong. Yeah, perfectly reasonably wrong.
Perfectly reasonably wrong.
Perfectly reasonably wrong.
Yeah, well done.
All right.
So Ben challenged Sam.
Sam blew it, so we'll start with David.
You love when I lose the game.
You love it.
It's exciting.
But which order do we have to go in now?
Ben, David to Sam, right?
That's how we just went. We go back at the challenge. No, okay, we go to Ben in now? Ben, David to Sam, right? That's how we just went.
We go back at the challenge.
No, okay.
We go to Ben, yeah.
David, then Ben.
Let's start with David.
Okay, David.
He gets to pick a category.
Would you like asparagus pea or asparagus suggested, as always, the zero names?
That's where if you pick this category, I will read the entire review. It's on you to start at zero names. You could where, if you pick this category, I will read the entire review.
It's on you to start at zero names.
You can bid lower if you want
into negative names.
The idea of this category is
everyone will know the answer
and then it's just a matter of
how many names can you name from the cast
in the proper order from the top.
Or, the King of Pancakes category,
the number one movie at the box office ten years ago to this very day. in the proper order from the top. Or the King of Pancakes category,
the number one movie at the box office 10 years ago to this very day.
The number one movie 10 years ago.
And another third category.
I'm finally going to eliminate it if you choose it.
It'll no longer be a category.
Retired Tonight, four-letter movie titles.
And that's like SWAT or Paul or Milk or Mash or Spun.
Can you give me a few more examples?
Okay.
Getting the hang of it, I think.
Yeah.
Which one of those do you like?
Spice Girls, Revolution World.
Is that one?
No, you're off.
Okay.
You're off.
Which one of those would you like?
I'm going to go 10 years ago today.
I like that.
All right.
This movie is from 2006. Name that movie. All right. This movie is from 2006.
Name that movie.
It's...
Tron 2.
The search for Curly's gold.
10 years ago today, 2006.
No, it's from 2002.
Three stars.
Leonard calls this movie funny.
He also says it has a wonderful score.
And he also says that one of the people's performance in this movie is a riot.
2002 is 10 years ago.
Three stars, yeah.
2002 is 10 years ago.
And there are nine names.
How many names
do you think you can get in?
One person is very funny.
David.
10 years ago.
Huntsberger.
A riot.
That doesn't necessarily
mean funny.
Some riots are upsetting.
Most riots,
by the way.
There's been some
hilarious riots.
I'm going to say five.
Five he starts off with.
I'm going to guess four just to stay in the game
Sam?
What do you think of that Sam?
Ben name that movie
Thank you let's do it
Okay let's do it
Ten years ago
Three stars ten years ago funny
What else did I say
Wonderful score
Also one of the performances
Is a riot.
Just a riot.
Yeah.
And your four names are Jane Krakowski, Stephen Root, Cedric the Entertainer, and Tara Strong.
Cedric the Entertainer.
I'd say the top three names are the giveaway names on this one.
You're a few away from that.
Ten years ago, Stephen Root, Cedric the Entertainer.
The only movie I can think of with Cedric the Entertainer is Talk to Me,
and that was never number one.
Mm-mm.
Is it...
I can't imagine that fucking Stephen Root would be in Barbershop.
It can't be King of the Comedy
because Cedric would be one of the top four.
Yeah.
You're doing a great job of narrowing it down.
From a billion movies to 900 million movies.
I don't know.
I'll say King of Comedy just because I don't know what it is.
It can't be that.
Jane Krakowski.
Who is Jane Krakowski?
The rest of the names are Jack Black, Goran Vincik, Dennis Leary,
John Leguizamo, who's a riot, and Ray Romano.
And the movie is called Ice Age.
Everything's animated.
And Sam gets a point.
Sam gets a point.
No one is excited
except Nitsy.
Animated movies
are the most,
you know,
they throw people off
more than anything
because you're not
thinking animated movies ever
and then yet they exist
and I throw them in there. It's been a yet they exist. And I throw them in there.
It's been a theme for today.
And it ruins it for everyone.
Yeah.
Okay, so Sam got the point.
We will start, and David wasn't involved.
This is the third time you get to pick a category.
We'll start with David, and then go to Sam this next time.
David, then Sam.
And your category options, David, are Black That Gossip.
David then Sam and your category options David are black that
gas up that's
movies that star Jack Blass
Jack Glass Jack Black
Kyle Kyle Black
Jack Gas or
both okay yeah
Jack Black Kyle Gas or both
black that gas up or
I am Paul Bauer on Twitter suggested
that I do Razzie winners
that's movies that won the Razzie for worst film of whatever year it was they came out.
And at AC Canon suggested Requiem for a Bean, which is movies where Sean Bean dies.
I'm going to say Black that Ass Up.
Or Scene Bean, as some people call it.
Black that Ass Up.
All right.
This movie's got Jack Black or Kyle Gass
in it.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
Leonard calls this movie powerful.
I don't know if he
said it that way when he was typing it.
Powerful!
I hope so. It's powerful!
And
he says
that it has strong performances by the leads one of whom won the
best actress oscar for this movie that features kyle gas jack black or both from 1995 leonard Leonard names 13 names How many names do you think you can get it in?
David
Huntsberger
95? I gotta get in this game
Yeah, you're coming from behind here, buddy
I'll go four
Four names
Strong opening bid
What's Sam Levine gonna do with that?
He's gonna think about it.
I think I know what it is, so I'm going to say
zero names.
Kyle, you know what I'm going to ask, right?
I'm going to ask you to name that movie, Sam.
All right.
This is it. Zero names.
If I get it, that means I win, right?
If you don't get it,
then we have a three-way tie.
No, I have two points.
Oh, yeah. Poor David. Guys, I chose a lot thing if you don't get it then we have a three-way tie yeah no i have two points of it yeah oh yeah
yeah poor david guys i chose a lot of great categories though didn't i yeah wasn't that fun
you did some awesome category choosing you were great and then it led to this i've never actually
even seen this movie oh wow but i'm doing a little math in my head and figuring out that
maybe one of them is in this picture okay Okay. Is it Dead Man Walking? That's correct. Whoa!
We gave it our all,
Carol.
You're doing some math in your head? The audience is fucking miserable right now. How'd that math go?
Yeah, he was sitting there doing some head math.
Because he didn't give the year until the end of it,
and I thought he was talking about Cradle Will Rock,
which Susan Sarandon is in, and so
is Kyle Gass and Jack Black.
But nobody won an Oscar for anything.
Nobody won an Oscar for that movie.
It's in 95 and I remembered she won an Oscar
and I figured it was probably for that year.
That is impressive.
So it wasn't Kung Fu Panda.
It was not Kung Fu Panda.
I just love that Jack Black is in Dead Man Walking.
He plays Sean Penn's brother
and just sort of sits around looking kind of sad all the time
because his brother's going to die.
And what's he supposed
to do? So he just
kind of sits around going, hmm, what are you going to do?
He's not even
one of those 13 games. He is in Mars Attacks.
Yeah, Mars Attacks was
that's one of those movies
that some people love it and most people are
sane.
And think that it is horrible.
It's no Hunger Games, Doug.
It is not a Hunger Games.
Did you get to see the Hunger Games?
I thought it was all right.
It was all right?
It was okay.
Did you get a chance to check that out?
Did you get a chance to check Hunger Games?
I thought it was okay.
Do that impression, you jerks.
Turns out the movie's just one page.
Me, me, me, me, me, cat-ness.
That's all I hear when you talk about Hunger Games.
I said cat piss.
Why don't they call him a cat piss?
Woody Harrelson.
Woody Harrelson is amazing in that movie, by the way.
I really thought he was awesome in that movie.
I think he's good in everything.
He makes a really good hamwich. Stanley Tucci. I thought he was awesome in that movie I think he's good in everything He makes a really good Hamwich
Stanley Tucci
I thought he was so good
You could say it a lot about Stanley Tucci roles
But that might be the role he was born to play
He was so good at it
The blue haired host of the Hunger Games
He was so good at that
In the book do they explain what he feels about
What's going on
In the movie he just seems happy to be the host of this game
Where children are dying.
He's a game show host.
They nailed that.
That's exactly how he is in the book.
He's just excited to be on TV and a great host.
Like, I'm over here, young lady, with big smiles.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't get it.
Quit being so negative, you guys.
Maybe they'll flesh it out in Hunger Games 2 Ghost Protocol.
I can't wait for it.
Even hungrier. He's not going to find his wife at the end. He can't wait for it. Even hungrier.
He's not going to find his wife at the end.
He can't go up to her. Hunger Games 2
Still Starvin'.
With an atmosphere fee instead of the G.
Starvin'.
Still Starvin'.
Starvin' alive?
The poster is just a can of food with an X
through it.
So, Sam, who are you playing for?
I was playing for Nitzia.
And I don't have to read your four shitheads.
She's got a lot of shitheads on the back.
But she wins all of this stuff.
Here you go, Nitzia.
I hope you like all the candy.
I hope that there's the right sizes for you.
Let us know if that GoFood gives you poisoning
By the way I don't know if you need to add water to it
I know absolutely nothing
Yeah be careful with your GoFoods
And that hat was at the same thing
The hat is kind of cool
So did the volleyball
Did have the shithead on there
That's the shithead
That's a good one
I agree
And then who was David playing for?
I was thinking of a...
Did he write it on the back?
Yeah, he did.
Oh, nice.
All right.
Yeah, that's what I was going to say.
Keno Burt wrote a name on the back.
He actually wrote,
Shithead, do not read aloud.
That's so nice.
Everyone should do that from now on.
Just make sure to tell the guests not to read it.
But you guys are all pros.
You knew what was going on today.
All right, let me write that down.
Do you guys have anything, starting with David,
do you have anything that you would like to plug?
Anything coming up?
I'll be in Omaha at the Funny Bone.
Yeah.
April 12th through 15th with Christian Finnegan.
And if you'd like a cool beer t-shirt,
visit davidhununsberger.com.
I like what people say about
a visit. Visit the website.
Just come by and see if we're there.
See if we're home. If we're there,
come in and
have a seat. Yeah, that's
how I want my website to feel to people.
Just come in, tell me what you thought
of Hunger Games.
Rant and rave.
And I'll be like, I'm David Huntsman.
I don't like that very much.
They completely left out page 42.
I didn't care for that.
Evan, don't start the movie.
Everybody in the theater, get ready for a shit show.
That's what I feel like every time you buy a ticket.
No, but part of my experience too is like- Put on 3D glasses because it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Is Hunger Games in 3D?
No.
That's why my joke just slammed.
Yeah.
That's my favorite.
People would have gotten it if it's not in 2D.
That's my favorite thing about it is that it's not in 3D.
I go to 2D...
I didn't have to wear the glasses.
I go to like old 2D movies.
Or like I went into The Artist and put on 3D glasses.
That joke didn't work either.
I think it's funny.
But those subtitles came at you, man.
Yeah, dude.
They flew at me.
And that dog, oh my God.
Oh God, that dog was insane.
The dog was in your lap.
Oh my God.
What do you got going on, Ben?
House of Lies?
House of Lies just wrapped.
Continuing on Showtime?
Did anybody watch that show?
Love that show.
That makes me so happy.
That honestly does make me so happy. House of Lies, I guess maybe on Showtime. Did anybody watch that show? Love that show. That makes me so happy. That honestly does make me so happy.
House of Lies, I guess maybe buy the DVD when it comes out.
I filmed a piece in the finale of Parks and Rec, but they filmed two different endings,
so I don't know if I'm going to be on it.
It matters what ending they choose.
And I do a cartoon show for Disney XD that's coming out in a couple months called Randy
Cunningham, Ninth Grade Ninja, if you guys are into animation.
You know they are. Do you know what the XD stands for yeah what is it can't tell you dude
um damn it disney's coat of silence follow me on twitter rejected jokes rejected jokes
at rejected jokes and um what was that first thing you said house of lies oh yeah yeah
tonight we didn't get to it but i had a category i was excited that you might get to play it we first thing you said? House of Lies? Oh, yeah, yeah. Coffee Town, House of Lies?
Tonight, we didn't get to it,
but I had a category.
I was excited that you might get to play it.
We have a category coming up
called Dawn of the Dead,
and it's movies where
Don Cheadle dies.
Oh!
Nice.
I got him on the phone
and played that category with him.
You got his number?
No, it would be like
his friend, I guess.
It would be like
a really good friend of his.
But he could do it.
He's got a buddy named Shorty who takes all the calls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Shorty, you doing that Benson podcast?
All right, I got this.
Let's go.
That's usually what will happen.
Sam, what do you got coming up?
Well, definitely buy Columbus Circle and drones on DVD.
But then I just shot an episode of this really funny show on Fox
called Breaking In.
I'm shooting a second episode now,
but the first one airs, I believe,
April 24th on Fox.
And then also,
I have an air date for this,
but if you are into getting high
and watching children's programming,
which evidently many of you are,
there is a show on the Hub called The Aquabats Super Show,
which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever been a part of.
You don't have to get high to watch it.
It's animation or it's live action?
It's live action and animation.
Really?
I played a shape-shifting pilgrim boy.
Is it under 90 minutes?
It is under 30 minutes, my friend.
I'm there.
Are you tired of being typecast as a shape-shifting pilgrim boy?
Like, is that getting on your nerves?
Can I just be a shape-shifting pilgrim man for once?
At first I was tired of it But now it's like, they need a shape-shifting pilgrim boy
They come to me
So I've guaranteed myself work
Yeah, every year you get work a few months before
Thanksgiving.
That's all I need.
That's all I need, man. Very exciting.
Freaks and Geeks
Forever, dude. It's still available
on DVD, of which I see
practically no money.
So definitely buy that. So don't buy it, just
rent it from your local library. It is one of the best TV
shows of all time. If you guys haven't seen it,
it truly is.
I remember when I met Sam for the first time.
It truly is an inspirationally good television show.
If you guys have never seen it,
go rent it.
Yeah,
check it out.
Thank you.
Check it out and be like,
the whole time you're watching,
you're like,
the whole time you're watching,
you're like,
oh my God,
she went on to do this.
Oh my God,
he went on to do that.
There's Sam.
Oh.
Oh. You fucker, you beat me to the bunch line. Oh. god, he went on to do that. There's Sam. You fucker, you beat me to the bunch line.
Sam's on Douglas Movies.
Columbus Circle.
Columbus.
Everybody on that show.
Thank you.
Everybody on that show has gone on to be in a bunch of stuff.
It's ridiculous.
It was really a casting machine.
Allison Jones. Allison Jones cast that thing.
They found all of you. She won an Emmy for it.
She should have. That cast is insane, man.
Yeah, yeah. I'm going to do a Douglas Movies
taping at Helium, two of them
at Helium in Portland, April 14th
and 15th at 420.
San Francisco, I'm going to do a Douglas Movies
at Cobbs on April 19th. Hey, you going to have special
guests for those? Yeah, of course.
Always, always.
And they're always a surprise.
It's always a secret.
And then Countdown to 420 at 10.30 p.m. on April 19th at the Punchline.
When it gets close to midnight, we go 10, 9, 8.
And then we go, it's midnight.
Happy 420.
And then everyone goes outside and smokes weed.
It's a pretty cool setup.
Big round of applause for my guests, David Huntsberger, Ben Schwartz,
and Sam Levine.
At Sam Levine, at Rejected Jokes, at Huntsberger Junk.
Don't leave, you guys.
Hang out here for a second.
I've got to get a picture of everybody together on stage
in front of the beautiful flappers.
This is real brick, you guys.
That's crazy. Got to make sure we get a picture of that. stage in front of the beautiful flappers. This is real brick, you guys. So
gotta make
sure we get a picture of that. And as
always, Geraldo Rivera
is a shithead.
And Creed is a
shithead.
Yeah.
Yeah. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies!