Doug Loves Movies - Beth Stelling, Jim Norton and Chad Opitz guest

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

Live from The Punch Line in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Beth Stelling, Jim Norton and Chad Opitz to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a f...ree month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, I just want to make a quick correction before you listen to this episode. Not once but twice during the show, I point out that the next Doug Loves Movies that you'll be able to listen to won't be until after the next UCB LA Franklin location taping on April 23rd, so that means it'll come out around the 24th or 25th. But I also mentioned that we're doing Douglas movies in Nashville on April 13th at 420 at Zany's. So of course, you'll be able to hear that one on April 14th. And then there will be about a 10 or 11 day gap between episodes i hope you survive it i'll be out on the road doing stand-up shows in celebration of april 20th and um yeah that's all i wanted to say enjoy the show doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
Starting point is 00:01:07 There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from the Punchline in San Francisco. Oh, boy, I'm back at one of my favorite clubs in the world. This is going to be so much fun today. We put this together last minute, and you guys showed up,
Starting point is 00:01:54 so I appreciate that. It would have been embarrassing if nobody came here today. Also, it was real nice for a second, but I always forget that that's what's going to happen it's going to be real nice here for a second and then go back to whatever's next so when you guys leave here I'll just tell you right now it's a storm outside
Starting point is 00:02:16 you can't hear the rain because this is a really thick roof did I mention it's 420-ish? rain because this is a really thick roof. Did I mention it's 420-ish? So yeah, since we did this so last minute, did you guys have time to put together some name tag situations? Oh yes, you did. Wow, that's a really big my face right there. What does it say on it at the bottom?
Starting point is 00:02:49 License to Bill. License to Bill. And who was on the, who was the star of License to Kill? Is my face over Sidney Poitier's face? Timothy Dalton. Timothy Dalton. Oh, it was
Starting point is 00:03:05 James Bond movie. I was thinking of another movie. All right. Well, it looks like we got enough to choose from. So that's good.
Starting point is 00:03:17 You guys, you got it together. What's that? Some sort of Space Jam shit over there? Breaking 2. Oh, Breaking 2 Electric Boogaloo? Electric Ryan-, Breaking 2, Electric Boogaloo?
Starting point is 00:03:25 Electric Ryan-aloo. Electric Ryan-aloo? You know what? You got the seat you deserve. Good luck. Doug Plugs, Doug Loves Movies, is coming to Nashville one week from today at Zany's at 420.
Starting point is 00:03:53 That's Saturday, April 13th. Then I'm going to be doing stand-up at the Stardome in Hoover, Alabama on Sunday, April 14th. Stand-up live in Huntsville on Sunday, April 14th. Stand-up live in Huntsville on Monday, April 15th. And I'll be at the Royal Oak Music Theater
Starting point is 00:04:11 in Royal Oak, Michigan on Friday, April 19th. And the Wilbur Theater in Boston on April 20th. Yeah. For all of my road dates and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That's DougLovesMovies.com. That's douglosemovies.com. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Wallets! Oh, no. Someone threw in a wallet at the end of that, a reference to Martin Sheen in Wall Street.
Starting point is 00:04:43 They should have called that movie Wallet Street because of how he says that. Wallet! What was I going to say next? Oh, the wait for another Douglas Movies taping is going to be a little while. The next one's going to be April
Starting point is 00:05:01 23rd in Los Angeles. A new episode will be out on the 24th. So in the meantime, be sure to try my other podcast, Dining with D&K, Getting Doug with High, and Doug Lozmini's, if you haven't already. From the corrections department, I've been friends with him for years, and he's such a nice guy that he doesn't correct me when I say his name wrong. But it's not Desmond Borges. It's Desmond Borges. You don't lay into the G like I did every time in front of him.
Starting point is 00:05:31 So, dug out and apologies to him. And did you guys see the series finale of You're the Worst? Yeah, they did a nice job with it. Prize bag. Got lots of stuff in this little bag here. I did a couple shows in the last week or so in Las Vegas and Los Angeles,
Starting point is 00:05:56 so you get the magazines from each of those. Douglo's Movies T-shirt. This is a fun little pouch from High Times. Here's how I use it. You got a pipe that's like, you know, little, but it's like stinky. You don't have time to clean it out. Just put it in there.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Zip that shut. There you go. Here's some rolling papers from Tyson Ranch. Yeah. Mike Tyson, I think. And then, yeah, he's into weed now. Some sort of weed mints. I don't know what's going on there.
Starting point is 00:06:36 Ooh, this is a nice grinder. And I don't know why I brought so much weed stuff. I visited Moe Green's today, so there's a sticker from Moe Green's. That place is awesome. Also, from rockandpins.com, a little Doug Benson pin is going in the bag. And then, thanks to rockandpins.com, if you're not here today, you can buy one on the internet on their website. Or if you're here,
Starting point is 00:07:08 you can purchase one for $10 on your way out. Proceeds go to me and Rock and Pins. And I'll stand there and take pictures and sign stuff too. That's all for free even if you don't
Starting point is 00:07:24 buy a $10 pin. Cash only. No change will be made. So if you got a $20, you're buying two pins. Just know that about yourself. And please help me in welcoming three terrific guests.
Starting point is 00:07:42 San Francisco is always a great place to do this show because there's always great comedians who live here and visit here and work here because it's one of the most fun cities to work in. Please give a big warm welcome to Beth Stelling, Chad Opitz and Jim Norton.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Thank you. Hey, you guys. Hey. Hi, Doug. All right. It's a little... Some mints. I dropped those mints. Do you need them?
Starting point is 00:08:25 I don't need them I mean unless you're telling me I do I'm going down here is this your way of saying I need some mints no you're rough
Starting point is 00:08:31 I can't smell it but they're probably mints that taste and smell like marijuana probably oh I thought you were picking them up for me but you were doing
Starting point is 00:08:38 other stuff it was a limited time that I was down there yeah it was a limited time that I was down there let's meet my guests individually starting with headlining here at the Punchline this
Starting point is 00:08:48 weekend. It's her first time on this show. She's been on my other podcasts, but it's Beth Stelling, everybody. How's it going? You having fun? I have been having fun. It's nice to perform here, right? Yeah. I was like, why do two shows in one night when I can do three? Well, hopefully this isn't as stressful or not that comedy is stressful.
Starting point is 00:09:15 But, you know, there's no press. You're just hanging out. We're going to do some movie trivia games. You're going to play for somebody in the audience that you get to pick. Cool. Do you think you'll be good at movie trivia? No. Alright, so she comes over to grab your sign.
Starting point is 00:09:31 Make sure to think twice about it. Yeah, struggle with it. No, not you. Not you. Save yourself for Jim or Opus. Chad. Oh, you call them Opits? Yeah. Is that Irish? Opits? Oh Is that Irish? Opitz Opitz
Starting point is 00:09:47 There's not an apostrophe in there Opitz Opitz There he is everybody It's Chad Opitz San Francisco Comedy Phenom I had a buddy who was giving me shit about
Starting point is 00:10:06 that. Every time Doug introduces you, he says, phenom. Who says phenom? Doug Benson does. Yeah, dude. About Chad Opitz. There's no other way to describe you. Why are you successful? It's phenomenal. How did you do it? Exactly. Thank you for being back.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Thanks for having me. Anything else going on that we need to know about in the world of Chad Opitz? I'm very sweaty. Do you... You wear it well. I figured I should let the audience know before anyone decided to hug me after the show.
Starting point is 00:10:41 So it would be too much to ask for you to do a tuck and roll? Right now? Today? Does that have to do a tuck and roll? Right now? Today? Does that have to be right now? Just at some point? Like if you win a game, you go do a lap and do a tuck and roll back onto the stage. I'll do it. We're going to have to make room over there, though. It'll be very exciting. Yeah. Watch out for him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Get the hell out of the way. Is that what you're known for? The tuck and roll? Yeah. I do a little somersault action. Yeah, you're going to love it. You're not going to believe it. You made me do it three times in a while. I make him do it.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Jim's going to lose his mind over there. I hope he doesn't step on my jumping jacks. That's Jim Norton, everybody! Everybody! everybody. Coming in from the East Coast. Performing at Cobb's. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yeah. Thanks for coming out, dude. Thanks, Doug, for having me. I know you have a lot of activities you like to do during the day when you're out on the road. Yes. Tenderloin. Yeah, he likes a good steak.
Starting point is 00:11:43 Then what do you do? What's, you're over at the punchline. You're at Cobb's. How do you feel competitive with Beth this weekend? No, not at all. I mean, apparently, according to a legend, Cobb's has an upstairs, but I've never seen people in it. Joke about how I don't sell tickets.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's very cold up in that balcony. It's not a good place to sit. Yeah, it's a great place to put your recorder, though, if you want to catch your set. No one's going to steal it. That's perfect. I love it. All right. let's get let's get into this
Starting point is 00:12:26 you guys we gotta talk about the prize bag cause somebody here today is gonna go home with a bunch of stuff that we don't want anymore Beth do you wanna go first?
Starting point is 00:12:38 yes so it's like what did you bring? and as long as you're down there can you get those mints? yeah you bet you bet and there's a sticker oh I'm dropping everything thank you so as you're down there, can you get those mints? Yeah, you bet. You bet. And there's a sticker.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Oh, I'm dropping everything. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, I've got some magnets. That's it. Just what I had left. Oh, they come with this bag. This small bag.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Oh, okay. That can be used. So it's my tour magnet for your fridge after you've missed my shows here in San Francisco. And then this is me and my mom's podcast. Really going to love jerking off to these. What's your mom's podcast called? It's called We Called Your Mom. And that's what happens?
Starting point is 00:13:24 You guys call somebody's mom? We call other comedians' moms. It has nothing to do with the comics. So we talk to Marilyn Bamford, Sandy Rogan, Sam Richardson's mom, Baron Vaughn's mom, Charlotte, Will Forte's mom. You got Charlotte Vaughn on the phone? We fucking got Charlotte on the phone. How did you? She's in Vegas. She took the day off. It was fun. I love it. She's mom. We've got Charlotte Vaughn on the phone. We fucking got Charlotte on the phone.
Starting point is 00:13:47 She's in Vegas. She took the day off. It was fun. She's wild. That sounds great. It's a delight. Thank you for that. You're welcome. A little golf applause over there. Chad, what do you got?
Starting point is 00:14:02 Let's see. Look at this. I got some cheddar cheese Yeah. What do you got? Oh, let me see here. See, look at this, man. I got... Well, I... I got some cheddar cheese popcorn. So you did the right thing. Orville Redenbacher. They don't need that. Your stuff doesn't have needless calories in it.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Abuelita Mexican hot chocolate. Wow. That goes perfectly... Goes in hot, comes out hot. That's right. Call your ab- We called your abuelita. That goes great with a VHS copy of
Starting point is 00:14:31 Don't Be a Menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. Great classic title. Yeah. The title is so long when it's over saying it, there's another Wayans child born. And I think- Oh, wait, there's another stuff. And then do they get to keep the bag?
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh yeah, there's a 15 cent value from Grocery Outlet. And there's some Popeyes coupons. Because I don't live anywhere near a Popeyes. And I can't use them. What a bonus. So there you go. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Beth's got to do something with her hair, you guys. Thank you. She's going to clip it. Clip it back. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Thank you. Jim, what'd you bring?
Starting point is 00:15:16 Pretty thoughtless. I like it already. It's a great gift for any drug addict. Twix minis. Can they get all of this? Juicy fruit. And one person's going to win all these calories. And a bag of peanut M&M's.
Starting point is 00:15:36 And $40 to Chipotle. No! Whoa! $40! Jim! Jim! How's that thoughtless? Wow!
Starting point is 00:15:53 Hey, this isn't gonna be some Mark Norman shit where it turns out it's got nothing on it, that card. Did that happen? Yeah, that's what Mark Norman did. He, like, gave away a card and said, it's got $20 on it! That's some... Get your $20! $20 on it. That's the money. Get your $20. $20. It's all yours, sister. That's such a mark. And then nothing.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Oh my God. I never heard back from the person because I would love that they tried to spend it. You know. Norman. Alright, yeah. So one person's going to win all this stuff, Beth. And we're going to get to that in a second. But first, I got a question I ask all the panelists. We'll start with Chad.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Because he knows this question the most. He's the most prepared. Chad, what was the last movie you saw? I watched... I like to look for older, obscure stuff a lot. And I watched this 80s action flick called Avenging Force on demand. Starring Michael Dudikoff, the American ninja. Was Force avenged?
Starting point is 00:16:53 It was. Holy Lord, was it avenged. Any movie that starts with a fist fight in a swamp, I'm in. I'm in. For 90 minutes, I'm in. It was great. It sounds like a slow beginning. It's fun. It was like a slow beginning. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:17:05 It was. Swamp punching. Yeah. And so you recommend it? I do, yeah. All right. If you like 80s action stuff. Have you ever seen Gymkata?
Starting point is 00:17:15 Yeah. I like Gymkata. Combines the acrobatics of gymnastics with the deadly art of karate, Gymkata. It's a good one. I think the 80s, film-wise, was kind of a backlash against how amazing the 70s were.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Yeah. They were just sort of like, we've got to change the course of this shit because, you know, for centuries, people needed to keep seeing garbage. And things got way too good in the 70s. Yeah. Thank God they fixed that.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Yeah. More fights and swamps any decade there's some classics but I think Raging Bull was 80 so that was probably the last great movie ever Jim Norton your thoughts now does it have to be a movie that I
Starting point is 00:18:00 haven't seen before? no, give me something you revisited American Gangster Today yeah. I was watching... Give me something you revisited. American Gangster Today. Yeah. Yeah? I was watching that. You're a fan of that? I am, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:10 I enjoy that a lot, when he shoots Idris Elba in the head in the middle of the street. I forgot to tell you, no spoilers. And the last thing I saw that wasn't a revisit was I saw Us in the theater,
Starting point is 00:18:25 but I didn't get it. I saw us in the theater, but I didn't get it. I saw it in a theater in Montreal. I don't want to spoil it for you, but it's that weird scene where they're dancing. And ten minutes before the end, and the theater lost power. The whole building lost power, so I've not seen the end of that. No. And they said you can come back and watch it again, The whole building lost power, so I've not seen the end of that film. And they said you can come back and watch it again, but I don't want to watch a movie that I didn't understand again
Starting point is 00:18:50 to see ten minutes that I missed. It might make more sense to you the second time around. Yeah, it might. I mean, it was original. He's a very unique guy, but I didn't know what he was trying to tell me. It's got a lot of Easter eggs,
Starting point is 00:19:03 a lot of little nods to other movies and stuff. That's cool. I didn't notice what he was trying to tell me It's got a lot of Easter eggs A lot of little nods to other movies and stuff That's cool, I didn't notice any of them I am horrible at spotting Easter eggs If you say that's an Easter egg, I'll go to what? I'm very bad at that Alright, well that's, there you go Jim, you should maybe Start a movie review thing
Starting point is 00:19:26 where the power goes out before the movie ends, and then your review is just whether or not you would bother to watch the whole thing again just to find out the ending. It's a good scale on which to judge things, because there's too many movies there's too much stuff to choose from so if we had somebody
Starting point is 00:19:48 like you out there was it scary no I mean there was a couple of creepy moments when the family first shows up outside like that was
Starting point is 00:19:55 really creepy but then no I'm gonna see Pet Sematary next week I just wanted to throw in with an S Pet Sematary with an S was it always with an S
Starting point is 00:20:03 I think so yeah interesting yeah even the Stephen King book because the idea is like it's like a kid drew the you know to throw in. With an S? Pet Cemetery with an S. Was it always with an S? I think so, yeah. Even the Stephen King book, because the idea is it's like a kid drew the sign. Yes. Until you just said that, I didn't realize it was spelled wrong. I went and saw it, and I thought we were going to watch a movie about a pet seminary. I was
Starting point is 00:20:24 very disappointed. I wanted something peaceful and mindful. No religious pets. Alright, what about you, Beth? Do you have a latest movie that you've seen? The last movie before I left for here I watched was
Starting point is 00:20:41 Legally Blonde. How did you watch that? We just turned on Netflix and then my boyfriend pressed play. And then I was taken back in time to a more problematic era. And honestly, by the end,
Starting point is 00:20:59 I was fist pumping. It was freaking great. It was a delight. Okay, so we're talking Legally Blonde 1? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Not Legally Blonde 2, Red, White, and Blonde.
Starting point is 00:21:13 No. Which is what I think it's called. It's not as stirring. No. It's not as moving. So you did the right thing. I know. Did your boyfriend throw on the thing you'd least expect
Starting point is 00:21:25 a boyfriend to throw on often or was this a special occasion? That was a curveball. Because usually he makes you watch like Con Air or something. Sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:21:36 My American Idol. American Idol? He's an American Idol fan? We just started watching and I've never watched it in my life. It really pulled me in. I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:21:47 A lot of redheads. A lot of redheads on there. That's what you're looking for in a reality competition show? Typically what I look for in a TV show in general is redheads. All right. Do you guys have, anyone can answer this question, a favorite movie that's set in San Francisco, like filmed here or set here?
Starting point is 00:22:12 I'm sorry, did it sound like I was asking the audience to start yelling them out? You didn't say anyone. I didn't say anyone, that's true. Hey, the Dirty Harrys. Which ones did they say? The Dirty Harrys? Yeah, that made my day.
Starting point is 00:22:30 What about... Wait, that's from the movie. It is? Jim gets a point. But the panel, I meant. I thought you meant the audience, too, in all honesty. It'd be funny if at the end of the show, do you guys have any plugs?
Starting point is 00:22:49 Oh, he said, do you guys? So let's all yell out what's going on in our lives. She's got a new dog. It's almost house trained. What was the question? Oh, San Francisco. Yeah. Do you have, Beth,
Starting point is 00:23:08 do you have a favorite San Francisco movie? Because so many movies are filmed here and you always know it's San Francisco because they get a shot of the pyramid building and also all the, obviously, all the hills. Wasn't the ding of a trolley monumental and solving like Pelican Brief or something? That might be true. There's something going on there.
Starting point is 00:23:28 One time somebody heard the ding? Yeah, there's some movie where like they heard the ding. And then it stalled the whole thing. That classic moment. There was another movie where they heard the water boiling and they knew it was time for rice and ronin.
Starting point is 00:23:42 boiling, they knew it was time for rice and ronin. Here's a great movie from San Francisco, The Bridge. Oh yeah, that's good. I mean, if you're into comedies, it's worth checking out. I thought it was about dental work.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I'm being cute. Adorable. And then you made that cute face. The adorable suicide humor of Jim Norton. But yeah, that movie's heavy. How many, like, what's the per annum? Like, dozens, hundred? 50-ish a year.
Starting point is 00:24:29 A year, yeah. Go across that bridge. We can get it higher. The traffic is so bad that only 50 people get across the Golden Gate Bridge each year. Most get out and jump. Okay, you guys, this is getting,
Starting point is 00:24:47 it's getting way heavier. Can you pull us out of this? Chad, what's your San Francisco movie? I heard someone say, So I Married an Axe Murderer. That's a great one. That's better. That's a cheerier subject. Axe murderers.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Why did that take place in San Francisco? Was there any reason for it it I don't think so is it easier to murder downhill I have no idea just raise the axe at the top of California put it into somebody mine is thanks for asking
Starting point is 00:25:20 what's yours Doug there's so many to choose from Beth thanks for asking. What's yours, Doug? There's so many to choose from, Beth, but seriously, you're really putting me on the spot here. I gotta say, I don't know how it holds up now. It might be pretty lame, but I was always really into the movie Foul Play, where Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn. Has a big, probably racist today, chase scene at the end.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Because they jump into a car and there's like an old Asian couple in the backseat. And everything they say is just, you know, broken English. And therefore hilarious. But, you know, anytime there's a bullet what's up doc anytime there's a chase scene in San Francisco you're in for a treat
Starting point is 00:26:08 The Rock because because the movies the cars just get airborne constantly because of the hills it's such a great place for chase scenes
Starting point is 00:26:18 Escape from Alcatraz was a great one yeah yeah it was really good I made that swim a couple of times yeah I mean it's there.
Starting point is 00:26:25 You can just do it, so why not? All right. Well, that was a fun San Francisco roundup. What were you going to say? I was just going to say, do you remember in the beginning of Escape from Alcatraz how amazing Clint Eastwood's ass looked? When he first gets there?
Starting point is 00:26:43 I don't remember that. And how bad it looked at the end. Just used. Talking to a chair. He was bent over a chair. Oh, man. All right, well, that was fun. But this is going to be funner, maybe.
Starting point is 00:27:16 This is the part where I say, let the games begin! Oh, wow. Oh, Doug, that's you. That's me out there. Beth, this is what's going to happen. Maybe, did anybody put Beth on their name tag? No. People like to guess who's going to be here sometimes.
Starting point is 00:27:32 But folks made these signs. Not a lot, because I just booked this show a week ago. So I appreciate anybody getting it together. Some people are just holding up random objects. But also some people tape things to their... Did anybody tape a join or some booze to their sign? Whoa, they went hard.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Yeah, people do that. So you get to pick anyone you want. Anything that's taped to it, you get to keep. And that'll be the person that you play for. There's a whole box of Dunkin' Donuts over there. Good for that guy. So Chad and Jim and Beth, just go ahead and stand up
Starting point is 00:28:10 and go grab the one you want to play for. I feel like I'm telling you you don't want me. Yeah, well, you may not win for them, but they're gonna win for you right now because you'll get some weed or something. I'll take the one in the back. Whoever's got a light up there. Oh, that guy.
Starting point is 00:28:27 I told him that he didn't have a chance in hell of getting picked. And Jim went right for it. Bring it on up here. Thanks, fella. I thought it had something to do with Space Jam, but it's not at all. No, I just figured he was so dedicated, shining a light on it.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Yeah, no, I think you got a good one. Beth's working out some sort of deal. Chad, where are you at? kid is shining a light on it. I think he got a good one. Beth's working out some sort of deal. Chad, where are you at? What's Chad doing? Oh, he's way back there, walking around. Wow, this is great.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Alright. What? Oh, this guy's just putting donuts on the stage to save milk money. I'll chuck them at people. What? Oh. This guy's just putting donuts on the stage. Say milk money. I'll chuck them at people. Hopefully the punchline won't get mad at me. Are those just a gift? Yeah, those are just gifted to me.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Because they didn't get picked. Look at all the candy on yours. That's for Dick. That is crazy how much candy is on that poster. Wait, Stephanie? Stacy. Oh, and there's weed on it, too? There's what?
Starting point is 00:29:32 Just candy. Just candy. There's a weed one over there. Do you want to trade? No. You did get a good one. I got a really good one. Check out those milk money donuts.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Tell us about those. We've got one that has potato chips on it. Oh, that's for Jim. One has, looks like sliced almonds and chocolate and maybe a little bit of coconut. Can you pass me one of them? Yeah. What do you feel, nuts or chips? I don't care.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I'm not going to eat it. Oh. I'm going to chuck it. No. No. What was that? Are you really going to throw it? Well, someone's going to catch it. No! No! What was that? Are you really gonna throw it?
Starting point is 00:30:06 Well, someone's gonna catch it. Oh yeah, he tosses it. Oh! Oh yeah, oh yeah! Did you get it? Yeah, he caught it. I bet all the chips came off. There was no doubt you were gonna catch that.
Starting point is 00:30:21 You did not let one chip fall to the floor. Well, I don't know what's on top of that. Okay. Yeah, just lick a little off and put it back in the box. I just touched it. Do you need a towel? Maybe a napkin. Maybe a napkin.
Starting point is 00:30:43 There's a gentleman in the front row. He's just eating popcorn. He doesn't need his napkin. It's paper. I'll use my pants. Okay. Who are you playing for, Jim? I'm playing for, I guess, Ryan.
Starting point is 00:30:57 It's break into electric Ryan Alloo. Yay. Soundtrack to a fine film. It's a real underdog story. I did not think that was a winning name tag, but it got picked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Is this a bad place for mine? No, it's perfect. Okay. Yeah. Chad? I got Rambo First Blood Part Two. Rambo, B-E-A-U, as in Bow Bridges. And it's got Doug's face on it.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Yeah, they do that. There's no weed or candy, but I thought it was an artistic triumph. Hey, can you pass me one of those donuts? Yeah. That looks good. Okay, I feel like I should give you one That's not gonna lose all the stuff When you chuck it Oh god
Starting point is 00:31:49 I threw it to an area Where four guys had their hands up I figured I figured somebody's gonna end up with it What kind is that Beth? I got my eye on you guys over there I think it's like Yeah I just feel like sugar There's some tough end up with it. What kind is that, Beth? I got my eye on you guys over there. I think it's like... There you go.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Yeah. I just feel like sugar... There's some tough spots to get it to. Like a lot of sugar. That was good. Is it good? Uh-huh. All right, Beth gives Milk Money Donuts a big thumbs up.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Beth loves donuts. I do. And the person you're playing for, Beth, is... Stacey. Stacey. And what's the... The legend of Stacey Jean. Oh, instead of Billie Jean.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Let's look at it one more time, though. Yeah, let's take a good look. Here we are. Show it to everybody. Show it to the listeners at home. Yes. We all got a good look at it. It's got a lot of candy on it.
Starting point is 00:32:58 I get why you picked it. And what's that? Is there a box of candy cigarettes or something? It looks like raisins. What? What are raisins doing on there? The fuck? Who included raisins?
Starting point is 00:33:08 Honestly, I regret it. On Halloween, I get raisins. That house gets raisined. I fucking throw them right up on the roof. What flavor donut is that? And why do you have to keep going back down there? Just bring the whole donut back. I have to lay on the stage later.
Starting point is 00:33:28 It's part of my act. And so I didn't want to get it dirty. Good call. Thank you. All right, so we're going to play some games to determine which audience member goes home with all this stuff. Anybody can win,
Starting point is 00:33:42 but it helps to be good at stuff. Good at guessing or whatever. This first game we're going to play, kind of new, kind of a twist on a game we've been playing. This is called Doug Loves Music. I'm going to say
Starting point is 00:33:59 the track titles on the album for a motion picture soundtrack. What do you mean it's ridiculous? Yeah, that's ridiculous. It's the greatest idea ever. And you can guess everyone on, just the people on stage, you can guess.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah. You can guess as often as they like until somebody gets it. I'm just going to name them. And I got some clues at the end if you don't get it based on all the tracks. But theoretically, the tracks should be describing
Starting point is 00:34:35 what's happening in the movie at that time. That's how they work, I think. If it's Randy Newman, I'll know. Oh, me too. It's the only one I think it's Randy Newman all now be careful about leaning back on this way because you'll feel fall right through the floor house you fall right into John Stamos is the living room wait which character owned that house? I guess Saget. Danny, yeah. Saget. Wallet.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Saget. All right. This soundtrack has a part of the score called The Beach. The movie The Beach. Beaches. I wish that would be either of those. They're both great guesses. What a stupid game this would be. What if you were starting easy?
Starting point is 00:35:33 If either of those were the right answer. I thought that was a good guess. Blue Lagoon. They are all great guesses. Oh, that's a good guess. Yeah. That's it? You guys? That's all the movies you can think of that have a beach? So far. What's that?
Starting point is 00:35:48 So far, yeah. Okay. Here's the next one. There's also a track called The Nightmare and Dawn, which was, coincidentally, this is interesting, that was the original name of the group Tony Orlando and Dawn. That joke was for the older listeners. And attendees.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Alright, the next one is there's a track called Love Music. Jaws? You know? All of those seem to apply. Love Music to Woodsman. Woodsman. You know, all of those seem to apply.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Love music. Love music. The Woodsman. This is interesting. There's one called, and it's the last one on there, but I'm doing them out of order. The Necklace and the Return. Titanic. And the Finale. Titanic, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:36:43 How could it not be? But it isn't. That describes the ending. Titanic, absolutely. How could it not be? But it isn't. That describes the ending of Titanic. I know. It's like Rose. What's the other guy's name? Jack. There's another one called Farewell and the Tower.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Doug, what the fuck? Yeah, what are these? This is tricky, but this one might ring some bells. You might recognize these names. There's one called Madeline and Carlotta's Portrait. The Princess Bride. No.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Willow. You said it with such confidence that I thought, wow. Carlotta. You might be right. Carlotto's way. Thought of that. Nell.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Are you answering the what was the last movie you saw question? All right. Time for clues. That wasn't enough. To give it away. This movie was filmed partially in and took place in partially, maybe completely, San Francisco. I didn't know any before.
Starting point is 00:38:04 The Presidio? Oh, the French Connection. The score? Metro's turn. Milk. Why does the French Connection not take place in France? The score was by the great Bernard Herrmann. Oh.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Oh, uh... Sudden impact. Vertigo. was by the great Bernard Herman. Oh. Oh, uh... Sudden impact. Vertigo. Chad is right. It's Vertigo. Yeah, the other clues were directed by Alfred Hitchcock and makes me dizzy.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Vertigo from 1958. And, yeah, I thought maybe that might have come up during the Favorite movies in San Francisco conversation Which would have been even funnier When you all didn't know what I was talking about During all those songs Alright Not songs but you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:39:00 Let's play How long Is it You're not going to believe this game Beth let's play how long is it you're not going to believe this game Beth it is crazy in it's simplicity hey where's the Dunkin Donuts guy do you want me to throw yours too
Starting point is 00:39:21 bring them on up I think those are going to be less messy because they're not real Do you want me to throw yours too? Yeah. Bring them on up. Oh, baby. I think those are going to be less messy. Because they're not real food. They still got icing or jelly in the middle or what have you. Oh, I didn't know you were so locked in back there. Sorry to make you do that. There's no donuts in that. There we go.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Okay, so as he's walking up here with this box, there's no donuts in that there we go yay okay so as he's walking up here with this box he said you left a bunch of donuts with some fat people I did not leave them with you
Starting point is 00:39:53 I was interested yeah BYOD but there's only three left oh no good work fuck yeah I love you guys.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Fuck yeah. I love you guys. Who likes a powdered donut over in that side over there? It's powdered, so be careful what you wish for. Oh! Oh! Wait, did that? All right, I'm going gonna try again, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:26 This is a maple one with I don't know what in the middle. Oh! He got it! He got it! Is it still a home run when that happens? He got one bite. Alright. Coming over there next.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Oh, I really feel like a baseball player. Pointing where it's going to go. All right. This next game, Beth, is a game where each of you gets to have one guess at an... I'm going to tell you...
Starting point is 00:40:59 I'm going to name a thing, and you guys are going to guess how long it is. And whoever's closest without going over, Price is Right style, is the winner of this game. Okay. Do we buzz in? No, no. I'll go to you individually. We'll go Chad first, and then you, and then Jim.
Starting point is 00:41:25 But Jim, you know, he's a crafty player. He might say whatever number you said and then just add a one to it. Oh, shit. I saw somebody do that on Price is Right the other day. I don't know why when that happens because the guy won after bidding one more dollar than the person next to him.
Starting point is 00:41:41 I don't know why a fist fight doesn't break out. It's a fucked up move. The price has to have change in it for that person to have a chance. $100? $101? Okay, I just hope it's $100.28. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:07 How long... You know that movie, those Toy Story movies? How long is the Woody doll? How tall in inches is the Woody doll
Starting point is 00:42:22 from the Toy Story movies? If you go on the internet, Pixar claims that it's a specific height. And of course, Woody, Jim, and this is with the hat. This is Woody with the hat. With the hat. With the hat. All right. What do you think, Chad?
Starting point is 00:42:38 How tall do you think he is? I'll go 16 inches. I'm going to go go Can I go? Wait, slow down Oh Still trying to handle That 16 inches I was actually stalling
Starting point is 00:42:59 Until this guy came back So this is how How long is it? until this guy came back. So this is how... How long is it? How tall is Woody the sheriff? He's sheriff, right? I'm gonna go... I love when celebrities come to my shows. Woody Woodpecker's here.
Starting point is 00:43:30 See, he knows how to do it and everything. I'm going to go 16.1 inches. Oh! I'm kidding. Wait, for real, though. Can I I actually I actually want to do 14
Starting point is 00:43:47 My real answer is 14 inches Alright You could You know Sorry to disappoint you And take you on that roller coaster But Thanks Beth
Starting point is 00:43:56 I want it to be 14 Okay I believe in 14 Jim I actually know the answer to this Because I worked for Pixar when they did these movies it's 11 inches this isn't like one of those games
Starting point is 00:44:11 where you're supposed to convince us you're right when you're lying that was believable alright so what did you settle on? 14 and Chad's going 16 and Jim's saying 11 That was believable. All right, so what did you settle on? 14. And Chad's going 16. And Jim's saying 11 because you work there.
Starting point is 00:44:35 You should recuse yourself if you're going to know the exact answer like that. But the correct number, and I would like to see a celebratory lap around the room after I say it. Oh, no, I take it back. It's Beth. It's... Oh my god. It is 15... Wait a second. Wait a minute. Yeah, it's just shy of
Starting point is 00:44:58 16 inches. It's 15. 9 3 inches. Does that make it you the winner? So that was without going, you can't go over. So 14 is the closest. But you don't have to do a You don't have to do a victory lap
Starting point is 00:45:14 Beth, but I would like you, this has got like pink frosting and sprinkles and I don't know what in the middle, but who would you, could you throw that at someone? Yeah. Does somebody really want it? Yeah, there's some people who really want it. Do you really want it?
Starting point is 00:45:29 Yeah. Throw it overhand if you can. Unless somebody else really wants it. Do you need it? This guy does not want you to blast his face with it, I'm quoting. Oh, that was very gentle. Very kind. I'm a gentle lover. No blasting. Oh, that was very gentle. I'm a gentle lover.
Starting point is 00:45:46 No blasting. Chad, you did win the first game, and I forgot to do it then. Now do your victory lap. Oh, my God. Here he goes, everybody. Chad Opitz. You don't have to move that stuff.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Just roll over it. Who cares? Here he comes. This is the amazing Chad Opitz. Oh, I like he's walking very casually. There he goes! Oh!
Starting point is 00:46:17 That was close. Yeah, Beth did not see that coming. That was really... We really lucked out there that I didn't get kicked in the head. That could have been tragic. What happened was I was really concerned for the donuts and so I was moving them out of the way. Is there any left in that box?
Starting point is 00:46:31 Yeah, I've been working on that one. It's still in there? I have plans for it. Alright. I know, it would have been so sad. Sorry, I put us in danger like that. What's the matter?
Starting point is 00:46:46 He feels bad. He almost kicked me in the head. Wow, don't feel bad about that, Chad. Yeah. Almost kicked you in the head. It's my fault. The doll was 11 inches tall. Is that too dark?
Starting point is 00:47:02 The doll was 11 what? It's 11 inches tall. I really like a Reese's egg. So I'm going to have one of those. Yeah. What's this Russell Stover dark chocolate and marshmallow egg? Yeah. That sounds okay.
Starting point is 00:47:20 No! What? Did I step on it? Yes. I put my foot on it, but I didn't mean I step on it? Yes. I put my foot on it, but I didn't mean to step on it. Why didn't you do that to the raisins? What's it going to do to a raisin if you step on it? Oh, these raisins
Starting point is 00:47:45 aren't as full as I like my raisins. Did somebody step on these shits? You're going to throw another one? That last one is really sugary.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I love it. Yeah, the bigger the mess, the better. There's two left. There's a chips one in it. Here, finish your one. What flavor is that? This is just a lot of sugar.
Starting point is 00:48:07 It's just a lot of sugar, don't it? It's brown sugar on glazed sugar and sugar. All right. Well, we're going over to the side section. Oh. I hope we have a vacuum. I do, too. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. I do too Oh shit Oh my god
Starting point is 00:48:29 Wait Did you not try to dodge it? I think I grazed the ceiling a little bit there On that one It's really, that's a tight target But I'm gonna try that guy again Watch out guy again. What a nightmare. Bring me more donuts.
Starting point is 00:49:19 The donut king. Did he throw it too hard? It looked like it was a hard throw. I mean, sometimes you're better off just batting it down and then throwing it to the second baseman, you know, if you think you're gonna... You don't want it to roll past you.
Starting point is 00:49:37 All right. You don't want it going over your head. Let's play Bennington, you guys. We haven't played this game in a while. This is... Our friend Ron Bennington, you guys. We haven't played this game in a while. This is, our friend Ron Bennington came up with this game. And, yeah, the clapping was on a delay
Starting point is 00:49:52 because he's on the East Coast. This is a game about box office numbers. Yeah, but you know, it, basically popular movies are the answers. I'll say, who ended up winning that last thing?
Starting point is 00:50:12 It was me. Beth. Congratulations. Thank you. Beth, so you get to go first in this next game. And each person will get a chance to go first. We'll do three rounds. I'll say the name of an actor or actress, and Beth, you just have to guess what movie you think
Starting point is 00:50:28 finished in that person's top three of all time at the box office, according to boxofficemojo.com, after being adjusted for inflation. Okay. Yeah, the inflation thing, you gotta keep that in mind. And then, sometimes,
Starting point is 00:50:44 like Gone with the winds one of still one of the top movies of all time really after being adjusted for inflation yeah okay titanic's still one of the top movies all time because it's cost a lot of money to go to movies at that time that's my rationale for it although if i I had to choose between Titanic and Gone with the Wind, I prefer Titanic. Same. Because in Gone with the Wind, the whole place they're in doesn't flip over. Violently.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Which would be a good twist. Somebody call Shyamalan! All right. I'm going to name somebody, try to guess what's in their top three, and like I said, we'll rotate. But we'll start with you, Beth. The films of Diane Keaton.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Okay. Whoa. What do you think's a big moneymaker for her? The biggest? We've got an audience guess. Please, no audience guesses. Yeah. I mean, you want number one
Starting point is 00:51:48 if you can get it, but if you finish in the top three, you get points. I know the audience person said it, but that was probably one of the top movies. I will grant you to take that. Yeah, something's got to give.
Starting point is 00:52:03 She's going, something's got to give. I'll going, something's got to give. I'll let it happen because it's her first time playing. And it is potentially... The only movie I know. Yeah, that could be another problem. All right. Which way were we going before?
Starting point is 00:52:23 Let's go, Jim. My first thought was the Diane Keaton Follies, but that did not do well at the box office. The Witches of Eastwick. Diane Keaton? Perhaps I'm mistaken. I'm sorry, I was thinking of Jack Nicholson. I mean, I'll say Manhattan.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Okay, he's going Manhattan. Even though Woody Allen films typically don't gross a lot of money. Right. Chad? The Godfather. Oh, that's it. I forgot she was in that.
Starting point is 00:53:08 That's an interesting interesting guess from Chad. Godfather 2. Sorry, Jim, you had your chance. Coming in at number three
Starting point is 00:53:22 for Diane Keaton is, of course, The Godfather Part II. Oh! Got it. You just missed out on that. Got it eventually. Number two, this is a real squeaker, unexpected, Finding Dory. Yeah, that's some bullshit right there.
Starting point is 00:53:47 But then Diane Keaton's number one is The Godfather. Wow. Chad takes the lead. I thought you worked for Pixar. Three points. How did you not know Finding Dory? Because we're not allowed to release internal numbers. Yeah. Like 11 inches. How did you not know Finding Dory? Because we're not allowed to release internal numbers.
Starting point is 00:54:05 Yeah. Like 11 inches. All right, well, you get to... You're going to go first this time, Jim. Okay, and I'll give you another actor that I think you'll lock in better on. Okay. Alpa? Chino. Oh. Al Pacino. Oh.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Al Pacino. One of his top three grossing films of all time. Yeah, the great Al Pacino. Oh, no. I would say author, author. Because you do like repeating yourself. Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Let's go with The Godfather. Okay, he's going with The Godfather. Interesting. Yeah. We got dumb bones in the audience. Someone won't stop sneezing. Or are you going to barf?
Starting point is 00:55:06 He's also trying to hold it in so it's very elephant-like. There's a lot of... To me, it's like little puppies. It's like little puppy sneezes. Go ahead and fly on out of here, Dumbo. Wow, it's a current movie reference again. Who's next?
Starting point is 00:55:34 Which way were we going? I've already gone, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Chad, Chad. I can't remember if this is like a huge movie or not, but I'm going to go with Heat. Okay. I get Al Pacino and Andy Garcia mixed up.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Who doesn't? Who-ha doesn't? So, was he in Scarface? Yes. All right, Scarface for me. Okay. I started getting sleepy after that donut. Wait, it's all sugar.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Yeah. Said sleepy sugar. Number three for Al Pacino. Dick Tracy. Whoa. I never would have guessed that. What was his name in that? Big Mouth or something?
Starting point is 00:56:31 Big Boy? Big Dick? 11 inches. Deep Throat. Coming in at number two for Al Pacino, this seems like it was kind of handed to everybody but nobody took advantage of it The Godfather part two
Starting point is 00:56:49 okay that was sad and of course Jim gets three points for The Godfather all right so Jim's got three and Chad's got three and it's great to have you here. It's good to have you, Beth. Sorry, Stacy.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Chad, you've got to go first on this one. Okay. The films of Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro. Oh. Oh. Mmm. He's not in the original Godfather Why would you say that out loud? I don't know why I said that Your competitors might have been confused
Starting point is 00:57:38 Yeah, that was really stupid Damn, I'm a fool Goddamn I need an answer Damn I'm a fool Um God damn I need an answer Analyze this I don't know I don't know They're not laughing at you
Starting point is 00:57:55 They're laughing with you Yeah Terrible choice Maybe We'll see Beth Meet the Fockers Interesting Maybe. We'll see. Beth? Meet the Fockers.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Interesting. Jim? I mean, the obvious answer is Rocky and Bullwinkle. But I'll go with The Godfather 2. Oh, interesting. Why are you shaking your head? You said analyze this. Chad's like, damn it, I should have said analyze that. I fucked up.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Coming in, number three for De Niro is a movie called Shark Tale. Finding Dory connection. Just the monies with the kids is what we're learning. Coming in at number two, Meet the Parents. Shit. Why would I say Fockers?
Starting point is 00:59:02 I really did mean Meet the Parents, but I forgot that it was even called that. Oh, man. You really screwed up. I really don't care that I'm losing, but genuinely I thought it was Meet the Parents. God damn it. I can't believe you did that.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Sorry. Coming in at number one, Meet the Fockers. Oh! I thought the first one was way better. We got a three-way tie. What a game. This is weird.
Starting point is 00:59:36 We got to do something to settle this. Get it, Beth. Yeah. And so what we're going to do is we're going to play a round of Last Man Stanton. And so what we're going to do is we're going to play a round of Last Man Stanton. This is a game where we get an actor or actress name, and then we take turns. I like to play along for fun. We take turns naming movies they've been in.
Starting point is 00:59:59 If you can't think of one, you're out. But you have a lifeline. Each of you has a lifeline. Beth, you can go to Stacy once. Chad, you can go to Rambo once. And Jim, you can go to... Ryan. Ryan. Good old Ryan.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Electric Ryan-aloo. Don't forget it. Is somebody here that showed me a name tag on Twitter that just said the name Ryan and they were asking me about the font? Is that person here today? Somebody made a sign, all it says is Ryan, and they're like
Starting point is 01:00:30 guess what font this is in? And I'm like, I don't know. I guess he's not here today. I guess I'll run into him eventually. Eventually there'll be a little Ryan out there and I'll be like, oh there you are. What the fuck? What the hell? All right. So no one reached out to me.
Starting point is 01:00:50 One person reached out to me, but I forgot to write it down. Raise your hand if you reached out to me and you had a good suggestion for this game. This guy over here says he did. I believe him. Look at him. He's not yelling.
Starting point is 01:01:04 How could there be three? He's not, pick me! He's just like, calmly. He looks like maybe in his other hand he's got one of those things that murders cattle. What's your name, dude? Sherman. Sherman. Yeah. It's about time. It's about time it's about time
Starting point is 01:01:27 the name Sherman made a comeback and what's your suggestion today's Paul Rudd's 50th birthday today is Paul Rudd's 50th birthday so let's do the films of old man Rudd he doesn't look like a day older than he was in Clueless.
Starting point is 01:01:49 That son of a bitch. Okay, so it's the bills of Paul Rudd. But here's a new wrinkle, you guys. I'm very excited to introduce this wrinkle. Do you all have your cell phones on you and charged up and ready to go? Yeah. You can all, if your lifeline is worthless, which they are sometimes, if your lifeline
Starting point is 01:02:08 here in the room can't help you, you can call a friend. What? Just one friend, so it's gotta be somebody that'll fucking pick up. Yeah. Because we don't have all day to be making calls. So we can't use it to Google, Paul Rudd? No, no, yeah. I wasn't trying to tell
Starting point is 01:02:24 you to take out your phone now. I was just looking ahead to the future. Alright. Make sure you all had the option to call somebody. Alrighty. Who won that last game? I did. Who guessed it? Jim got it?
Starting point is 01:02:39 Yep. Wait. Did I not get it? No, but Jim did win the game before that. He won the game about how tall Woody is. Thank you. Oh, no, he didn't win that. You did. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:55 All right, so Beth, you get to go first. Then we'll go to... I like to go last, so we'll go to Chad, and then Jim, and then me, and we'll go around, see who to go last. We'll go to Chad and then Jim and then me and we'll go around and see who can go the longest on the films. Yeah, there's a lot of sneezing in here today. A lot of people allergic to trivia.
Starting point is 01:03:19 We'll start with you, Beth. The films of Paul Rudd. Knocked up. Very good. Am, man. I don't even, wait a second Paul Rudd. Knocked Up. Very good. Ant-Man. Wait a second, slow down. It's okay. Are we sure he was in Knocked Up?
Starting point is 01:03:33 Yeah. Who was he in Knocked Up? The dad. Dad of what? Some of the kids. Some of the kids? I'm convinced. Brother-in-law No but not
Starting point is 01:03:47 Okay yeah you're right Okay he wasn't knocked out Yeah and he did have kids Yeah we all agree now Let's move on Okay Chad Ant-Man You're going Ant-Man
Starting point is 01:04:01 Ant That's good Jim Clueless Yes Get that one out of the way early Ant-Man. You're going Ant-Man? Ant. That's good. Jim? Clueless. Yes. Get that one out of the way early. I like it.
Starting point is 01:04:16 All right, I'm going to go with Ant-Man and the Wasp. Beth? Our Idiot Brother. I would have saved that one if I was you. That's a good one. I love you, man. Hang on a second. Chad's trying to tell me something.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Slap at the base. Slappin' the bass Settle down Woody Jim The Avengers What? Be careful Be careful here Jim The Avengers There's a lot of Avengers movies Oh I know.
Starting point is 01:05:05 I'm just letting the anticipation build. You gotta be careful here, because Airman was a later addition to the world of the Avengers. So, you might want to switch to something else, or go to your lifeline. No, it's this
Starting point is 01:05:21 new one. Avengers. The new one. Avengers, the new one. I mean, they might as well call him that. Might as well say, here's the latest. Endgame. You're going Avengers Endgame? Well, I better go to my
Starting point is 01:05:38 lifeline. He says 40-year-old virgin, your lifeline. That's not an Avengers movie. But I'll say it if you want me to say it. That's a special power to last that long. Okay, he's going... 40-year-old virgin.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Yes, that is correct. I was kidding. Great job. You don't agree with him? What are you kidding about? No, just with my Avengers guess You're still in it, Jim I have a lot of confidence
Starting point is 01:06:14 Thank you, Doug Who is next? Is it me? Okay I'm gonna go The Object of My Affection Yeah With Jen A The Object of My Affection. Yeah. With Gen A.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Okay. Wanderlust. Also with Gen A. Mm-hmm. Nice. Yeah. Role models. Chad.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Slap into base. Like, you can show me a scene from I Love You Man or Role Models, and they seem fairly interchangeable to me. I enjoy both of them. I guess one has Sean William Scott. All right. We're back to you, Jim. The big short.
Starting point is 01:07:01 Did anything happen? That's a fun guess. That's like a JFK guess. Like you're just hoping, oh maybe he showed up in there. Might have popped in and said a few words. But he didn't, did he? No. Do you know
Starting point is 01:07:17 how I kind of know that? I was at the premiere of The Big Short and I saw Paul Rudd and I just panicked and he said hello and I'm like, dude, great job. And he wasn't in the fucking movie.
Starting point is 01:07:33 I don't know a lot of Paul Rudd's work, obviously. But great job's a fun thing to say to anybody when you see them. Yeah, but not pointing
Starting point is 01:07:41 at the screen. Great job. I loved it because you're not in it You did a great job of not being in that one Alright Jim well thank you for I apologize to Ryan I did the best I could Paul Rudd was a rough one for me You know what Ryan did the best he could as well Yeah
Starting point is 01:08:04 And it was a rough one for me. You know what? Ryan did the best he could as well. Yeah. And it was a terrible pun. Do you need that album back? He would like it back. You don't even get to keep it, Jim. That's okay. I don't have a record player. You're welcome to have it back after my poor performance.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Do you want to throw it to him? No. Ouch. All right. What do you mean you've got another lif to him? No. Ouch. All right. What do you mean you've got another lifeline? You only get one. Don't yell it. Yeah, but I get to make a phone call.
Starting point is 01:08:32 No, that was if he didn't help you. He helped you. Oh. He was good. Who would you call? Ozzy Osbourne. Okay, let's go. See if Ozzy Osbourne... I don't see if Ozzy Osbourne I don't care which
Starting point is 01:08:47 Paul Rudd movie it is if he names a Paul Rudd movie you're still in where is he what time is it where he is hold on
Starting point is 01:09:00 I don't expect him he'll pick up he will Hold on, I don't expect him He's looking at the caller ID going, no All right, well, at least we tried. At least we gave Ozzy a shot. I don't think he'd be able to name an Ozzy Osbourne movie. What about Crazy Trainwreck? Chad?
Starting point is 01:09:53 Is it Chad's turn? No, it's your turn. No, it's my turn. Okay. I'm going with... I'll say Wet Hot American Summer. Paul Rudd film. This is 40. Yes.
Starting point is 01:10:17 Same kids he had and knocked out. Judd's kids. Yeah. Chad. Anchorman. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Sets you Uh oh You're in trouble Full title The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Starting point is 01:10:34 Yes Yes Um He's back What are you going to say Jim Anchorman to? Um. He's back. What are you going to say, Jim? Anchorman 2? I've never seen that.
Starting point is 01:10:51 Oh, yeah? Yeah, you probably also don't know the full title. More Ron Burgundy. Anchorman 2, the Peterson's story. Alright, I'm going to say... I'm going to say Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You got this, Beth. Or you can go to Stacy. Stacy.
Starting point is 01:11:26 Stacy, what do you think? Unless Stacy wants... Anchorman 2, The Legend Continues. Does that sound right? Yeah. Yes. That is right. Way to go, Stacy.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Chad. Can I go to Bo? Who? Bo. Rambo. Rambo. Yeah, if you want to Can I go to Bo? Who? Bo. Rambo. Rambo. Yeah, if you want to. You got one, Rambo?
Starting point is 01:11:49 We got Rambo. Halloween, The Curse of Michael Myers. Woo! He's in Halloween, The Curse of Michael Myers? It's true. Holy crap. That's like pre-Clueless, I guess. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Wow. There we go. The curse of Michael Myers. Oh. I know esoteric Paul Rudd trivia. Oh. Esoteric Paul Rudd trivia. Ooh! Okay. Holy shit.
Starting point is 01:12:33 This is good. This is a real nail-biter. We're getting down to it. But I'm gonna do it. I got this, you guys. I totally got this. Oh, you're not gonna believe this shit. Avengers Infinity War. Oh, fuck. Is that the one I missed?
Starting point is 01:12:53 We tried to name the one that hasn't come out yet. But, you know. We always debate whether those are legal. What? Oh, yeah? You ever watch the little scenes at the end, or do you leave like an asshole? Oh!
Starting point is 01:13:10 I don't know if he's in this one. Oh, this is exciting. Take a shot. Year One? Year One. With Michael Cera and Jack Black and all those people? Year One. Oh, that helped me to think of one, though.
Starting point is 01:13:35 So I'll let you stay in. Chad? Your turn. Captain America Civil War. Yes. Yes. Yikes. Walk Hard,
Starting point is 01:13:48 the Dewey Cox story. Did I fuck it up? No, no, he's in it. Yeah, no, I know he's in it. I just thought I'm... When you reacted, I thought I said the title wrong. Could have been
Starting point is 01:13:59 The Ballad of Dewey Cox. No, no, no. But it's not. Back to you, Beth. This is exciting. Step Brothers. What? He's in that? Jim's confirming it. He is in that.
Starting point is 01:14:15 That's a Pixar release. He knows. I don't think he's in that one. Chad, do you have another one? Yeah, you're confusing him with Adam Scott. No, I know who he is, but... Oh, you thought you could confuse me.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Yeah. Do you have one more, Chad? Is he in Something's Gotta Give? Why? Isn't that... His answer is Something's Gotta Give. Keanu Reeves? Is that who you're thinking of?
Starting point is 01:14:46 No, goddammit. Is he not in that? Yeah. Crap. I was gonna say The Shape of Things. No. Yeah. The Shape of...
Starting point is 01:14:57 Not The Shape of Water. Oh, okay. The Shape of Things. Yeah, he's the faucet she masturbates under. Egg timer. I'm drawing a blank on the rug. Woody Woodpecker thinks that's fucked up. But that means Chad is our winner!
Starting point is 01:15:18 Wait. How? Because he lasted the longest. By default? Well, he named one after you. What was that? Whatever one he said after you the last round. He's not in Something's Gotta Give.
Starting point is 01:15:33 No, he missed. Before that, he had gotten one after you. You know what I'm saying? Did he? The Halloween. You didn't have one on the end. He had said one before your last one. So he was the last one to say a correct answer.
Starting point is 01:15:47 I thought we each said the same amount. It doesn't matter how many. Doug, you're mansplaining. Finally, a feminist on the panel. Well, hang on. Let me explain it to Jim. This is the most disappointing win ever. You did great, though, but we got to pick something.
Starting point is 01:16:07 Would you rather flip a coin between you and Chad? No, I'm fine. Do you want to do a somersault off? No. Best somersault wins? No. All right, in that case, Chad's in it. I feel bad now.
Starting point is 01:16:18 Don't feel bad. You won for Rambo. Yeah. I thought she had won. I'm not being a sore loser. I was genuinely like, oh, I thought we tiedbo. Yeah. I thought she had one. I'm not being a sore loser. I was genuinely like, oh, I thought we tied again. Yeah. But I'm fine.
Starting point is 01:16:31 I love him. All right, you tied again. I'm going to think of another game right now. No, I think you won. Oh, shit. Here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.
Starting point is 01:16:40 All right, let's do this. Let's play another one, Doug. All right, Jim's out,. Let's play another one, Doug. Alright, Jim's out, but... I feel like then you'll feel solid about your win. Once I lose this one. This is a speed round. Back and forth between the two of you. Whoever can't think of one within, let's say, five seconds's your turn yeah it's good what are you and I gonna do while
Starting point is 01:17:08 they're doing that I'm gonna be running the game and you're gonna be hanging out cool awesome we should each get to ask Jim one. That's fair. What does that mean? Phone to Jim. Like it's a lifeline. Okay. Oh. They each get to go to Jim once. Okay. So let me make this something that Jim will be helpful.
Starting point is 01:17:38 The films of Woody Allen. All right. Go. Hannah and Her Sisters. Manhattan. Annie Hall. Go. Hannah and her sisters. Manhattan. Annie Hall. Three. Manhattan murder mystery.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Oh, shit. What's it called? Five, four, three, two. Blue velvet. Blue flower. Jim, you want to help her out? Take the money and run. Chad. Bananas. Beth. Oh, Jim, you want to help her out? Take the money and run. Chad?
Starting point is 01:18:06 Bananas. Beth? Jim's not there for you anymore. What'd you say? Arthur the cartoon. Arthur. Did you mean Ant, the cartoon? Arthur.
Starting point is 01:18:28 I was just thinking of something. Do you mean ants? Something I enjoyed. Just say ants. Ants. Ants. Chad? Sleeper.
Starting point is 01:18:36 Beth? You guys, I don't know Woody Allen. I'm not a New York Jew. Were you trying to think of Blue Jasmine? Yeah, that's what I was trying to think of. Say that. Blue Jasmine. Son of a bitch.
Starting point is 01:18:55 That point... Point fucking... Break. Point break. I don't know what the hell. That tennis one. Okay, you get half a point. And that means you're half
Starting point is 01:19:08 a point more than Pat. Chad is our winner! Oh my god. Everyone hates me now. It was always destined to be Chad. Chad has always been the one. It was fun to go
Starting point is 01:19:24 ahead and have another run at it. You did great your first time on the show. That's so true. Chad has always been the one. It was fun to go ahead and have another run at it. But he won. You did great your first time on the show. That was fantastic. Yeah, let's hear it for her. And Beth is a reward. I get to perform here
Starting point is 01:19:36 later twice. Yes. Yes, if you had not done well here today, that would have been the end of the road for you at the punchline. But you've got two more shows tonight.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Who's coming back to see Beth tonight? 7.30, 9.45. Listen, all these people are coming back to see you. Stacy. Yeah. Stacy, come on back. You've got plenty of snacks. And what would you like to plug coming up? What's going on? Any more road dates? You want to plug your
Starting point is 01:20:03 Twitter, your Instagram? Yeah, you can just find me online at Beth Stelling. S-T-E-L-L-I-N-G. That's right. Beth Stelling, everybody. Chad O'Pitts. Yeah. What's going on with you, buddy?
Starting point is 01:20:21 I'm hosting at the Sacramento Punchline, the 18th through the 20th for Melissa Villasenor. Cool. Oh, neat. I think this is cool. Cobbs, May, June, and July. I think every second Tuesday, I'm hosting a Cooking with John Carpenter film series.
Starting point is 01:20:37 What? We're showing Big Trouble in Little China with themed food and stuff like that. Wow. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. And they live in June, and It's going to be awesome. They live in June and July is going to be Escape from New York.
Starting point is 01:20:51 So that one's going to be all like deli food? There's like a Porkchop Express sandwich and I think there's a girl with green ice cream. I do plus skinless chicken. ice cream. I do Plisskenless
Starting point is 01:21:06 chicken. Plisskenless chicken? Snake Plissken. Yeah, I like that. Alright, or snake. Just serve snake. Yeah, yeah. That's another way to go. Well, thank you Chad Opitz, everybody. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:21:23 And Jim Norton is sticking around all this extra time. He's got to get back over to Cobb's or wherever you go before you go to Cobb's. And what else? Where can people look for you? Besides Jim and Sam on Sirius XM weekday mornings. Yeah. And I'm hosting a podcast with Paul Rudd.
Starting point is 01:21:48 Cool. It's called This Isn't 40 called I've Never Seen You in a Movie no I just my website for tour dates I have a bunch of dates coming up really nothing to plug and go see him tonight over at Cobb's if you're not coming to see Beth
Starting point is 01:22:02 or double it up oh you can get tickets. Or double it up. You can. Oh, you can. See early show of Beth, late show of Jim, or switch it up. You guys do whatever you want. I prefer more people on my late show, so if you want to come to see me on the late show,
Starting point is 01:22:16 I prefer that. Okay. He likes the challenge. And I wrote down something that I wanted to say in my plugs part here. Let's see what it was. Oh yeah, just a reminder there's no more Doug Loves Movies until UCB, Franklin, and Los Angeles
Starting point is 01:22:35 on April 23rd. So have a good mid-April, everybody. One more time for all of my guests. Jim Norton, Chad Oates, Beth Stelling. Thank you to the Punchline. Thank you to San Francisco.
Starting point is 01:22:51 Thank you to Silicon Valley. Thank you to all the great shows on HBO. Thank you. Get that theme music ready as always. Positive energy!

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