Doug Loves Movies - "Big Jay" Oakerson, Kevin Corrigan, Kevin Weisman, and Doogie Horner Guest
Episode Date: March 9, 2015Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes comedians "Big Jay" Oakerson and Doogie Horner, actor Kevin Weisman, and director Dan Schechter to the show.See Privacy Policy a...t https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Oh, Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name's Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
It gets more intense all the time. and I love movies. This is I Love Movies.
Gets more intense all the time.
What if I just said a different phrase in there?
Would you guys do it anyway
or try to say the thing
I said instead
or do a mixture of the two?
Okay, let's try it.
All right, here we go.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and where's my Scoobies?
Where's my Scoobies?
Yeah, it was a mix of all those things.
Complete mess.
We're doing it again right here, Gramercy Theater
in New York City.
A mere two hours
approximately after a taping
of a Tournament of Championships
episode.
Yes, it was very exciting.
And I'm not going to say anything about what happened because
everybody's going to hear this episode tomorrow and they're not going to hear that one for like
another week. So yeah, so gotta don't yell out. And I'll tell you a little something about it.
If you think it sounds fun to listen to an audience member
yell out Ben Bailey over and over again, then you're really going to think that's worth
$2. If that sort of thing might irritate you, I'd save your $2.99. Just hang on to that.
But that'll be there in about a week. It was the Tournament of Championships Continues 3,
and the winner of that one is going on
to the Super Tournament of Championships,
and from there to the Super Duper Tournament of Championships,
where it's all going to come to a head,
and we're finally going to crown Jon Hamm
as the best player.
Because he knows answers sometimes,
but he's also willing to be ruthless.
We'll see what happens.
There's a few players that could take him on.
Where are we here?
I even wrote down on this piece of paper
that today is Saturday.
So that's not good.
The idea is to write this down when I'm not high
then read it when I am
but that did not pan out
it is March 8th though right
okay March 8th man out
2015
let me see your name tags New York City
Devin wears Prada Devin was almost in the exact same spot 2015. Let me see your name tags, New York City.
Devin wears Prada. Devin was almost in the exact same spot the first show.
Good for you, man. You're back.
What's the last movie you saw, Devin?
I saw Unfinished Business.
Unfinished Business. How'd that work out for you?
The word's not great, and the box office tally is in, and it took it took a dive yeah it opened in like 11th place or something it's crazy there's a lady over there with a uh she macrame a face hugger
from alien it's pretty funny yeah that's hilarious here or comic-con are the only places you'll get such an elated groan or whatever
that was.
But thank you for making that thing.
There's somebody I met earlier
with a Fifty Shades of Grey
parody poster. It's pretty
sweet.
Did you see that movie, dude?
I did not. You did not.
You want to make sure everyone
knows you did not see that.
It's weird how, like, I mean, I should,
I'm kind of proud of the fact that I was excited.
I mean, I've given up on wanting to see it
because I've heard it's boring, but before it came out,
I was like, I'll go fucking see a movie with that girl in it
being all naked and getting spanked and whatnot.
That sounds awesome.
And then they're like, no, but they try to make it romantic
and blah, blah.
Okay, forget it.
I give up, but I'll interrupt it at some point.
And eventually we'll get a draft house theater
here in New York City and we'll go nuts.
What's the name of the dude that made the elaborate sign
of all the titles that I built a title on
in last year's episodes of this show.
Your name's Mason.
And it's
all the actual logos
from all the shows. It's pretty cool.
If you took my name off of it, it would just work
as kind of a cool art piece
where all those logos just
meld into each other with the titles.
I'm speechless.
I don't know what to say
other than thanks for making that.
Your arms are probably getting tired.
You might want to put them down.
What was the last movie you saw, Mason?
Brewster's Millions.
Brewster's Millions?
I love it when I don't have to do anything,
just ask you an innocent question.
We got a big laugh off of it.
But the Richard Pryor one or the previous one?
Previous one?
You think Richard Pryor one was the original movie?
No, there were 45 versions.
Yeah, yeah, that's what you saw.
No.
What are you doing?
So you did see the Richard Pryor one.
Okay, all right.
Did that make you want to see the older one?
Really?
Okay, settle down, Mason.
There's people still holding up their name tags,
which is adorable.
I don't know if you guys noticed
that I lost interest in talking about
the name tags. I got
so spellbound by all the hard work Mason
did. Thank you, everybody,
for making name tags and for
paying the still
low price of $19.
That's with
service stuff.
The next show is April 27th
and I think you can get it for like four bucks cheaper
if you just buy it as you leave tonight,
tickets to that show.
It's a Monday, April 27th.
Oh, we already lost somebody.
Oh.
This dude's already got tickets.
Good for you.
Sorry about the service charges.
Now people will
figure out that maybe this is a thing I'll do from now
on is sell tickets to the next one
at the one they're at. I would like just
to be the same exact audience every time.
Yeah, I think
we should all just get to know each other
through our love of movies
and comedians and
especially the ones that I get to come
on this show. Let me make sure I don't have any other announcements I was trying to make.
Oh, it says right here, if I mention Doug, those movies will be here at the Gramercy on April 27th.
I did it.
Oh, I wanted to do a tweet relief.
Let's do a tweet relief real quick.
Tweets about movies.
Wonderella, Someone named Wonderella
on Twitter wrote about
Captain America Winter Soldier.
Nick Fury getting shot at by 30
cops is probably the most realistic scene
in any superhero film.
This has been
a tweet relief.
Torn from today's headlines edition.
Hey, did I mention that I'm going to be back here at the Gramercy
for Douglas Movies on April 27th?
Let's give a big warm welcome to my guests,
four returning guests who I know and love.
Please give a big warm welcome to Kevin Wiseman, Dan Schechter, Doogie Horner, and Big Jay Oakerson.
Sit wherever you like, fellas.
I didn't want to sit next to Blue Plaid.
There's too much Blue Plaid.
Oh, yeah, that's really a lot of Blue Plaid,
but yours has that nice touch of Hans Brinker,
like you're on your way to 30 Rock to do a few laps.
I'm from California.
I can't deal with any sort of frig sort of It's intense, right? The snow
in the face is the thing that I don't like.
The icy snow in the face. That's the best
part of the snow.
It hits you in the face.
You don't like that part?
Is that a metaphor for
This looks like
it's just a panel about being rugged
or
we just all
spend a lot of time outdoors.
Vin Diesel,
knock around guys, just a bunch of
shitheads in sweatshirts.
Beating up
mafia children.
Let's hear it for the first
to speak. We'll introduce you guys in that
order. So Dan, you're going to be last.
Let's hear it for
Kevin Wiseman's here, everybody.
First time
East Coast appearance.
He did a show out on the West Coast.
He did another program of mine called
Getting Dug With High. I did?
You did. That's how well
you did at it, as you don't recall.
Did anyone see that, the Getting Dug With High?
I think a few people watched it.
It's up to like 70,000 views or some shit.
I don't look at it.
Neither do I.
I don't read the comments.
Yeah, no, I definitely don't read the comments.
But what are you in New York for?
You're doing an episodic?
Yeah, I'm doing this recurring thing on the Blacklist.
Blacklist? Yeah, a show on NBC.
I love that the word black is getting so many titles.
It's getting so much play.
Yeah.
Black or white.
Right.
Blacklist.
Blackish.
Like, it's helping.
You could be racist just to bring those things up and get away with it,
because they're just TV shows now.
Yeah.
Blackish.
Blackish. Black-ish.
Like, why are they introducing new expressions that aren't that complimentary?
I'm waiting for Jewish.
That'll be my show.
I'll just be like a guy sitting around in Encino.
Like, yeah, I'm Jewish.
Sort of.
In Jewish Hollywood, I think not.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Kevin?
Some delicious accoutrement from my hotel,
some soaps, shampoo, and conditioner,
which you need in this cold, cold winter for your hair, ladies.
And depending on who gets the prize,
I'll let you know where I'm staying.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah, throw in a shampoo.
Like you'll physically shampoo their head.
Oh yeah.
You'll put them in a hotel robe
and you know, just dunk them.
No, I'm going to be wearing the robe.
Like a patchwork robe.
No, I'm just kidding. Patchwork.
I wish you had brought those shampoos
from your Airbnb.
Just a big bottle of Pert.
Yeah.
It's half used.
This was Marsha's.
That's Doogie Horner, everybody.
Great to be here.
You brought something fun for the prize bag.
I've decided it's fun.
It's a book that you...
What would you call it? You drew this book?
Yeah, I wrote and illustrated it,
but writing is, I mean, being charitable
is like a hundred words in it.
Yeah, it's a hundred ghosts.
It's a gallery of harmless haunts.
And each ghost is
just doing a different thing.
But he has a name and he seems pretty harmless.
Topiary.
It's just a fucking
kind of scary looking bush.
But it also looks sad at the same time.
Like I'm just a fucking shrubbery.
What am I going to do
topiary
I'm going to do another example
because it's got to go better than the first one
there's no way this next one can't
just kick that last one's ass
terrycloth
it's super casual ghost
I love this book
I would like look at five or six of them
during a morning bowel movement
just laugh that shit out of my ass
Big Jay Oakerson is here, you guys. Yeah.
He brought a shirt representing one of his two podcasts that he does.
I feel shitty now.
Everybody else was like funny or ironic,
and I just brought fucking thoughtless merch.
It says happy, happy,
washy, washy on your shirts. That means you've,
you or somebody you know has encountered a cruise ship behavior, right?
That is absolutely right, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's from the cruise ship.
Yeah, people yell washy, washy at me in my shows sometimes because they've seen me on rock cruises.
That's the same thing that's from, the rock cruises.
Yeah, yeah.
The Norwegian Pearl.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
We've just been on with different bands, so we haven't done it together or talked about it,
but it's the fucking crazy thing
where they spray your hands coming in and out of the buffet
and they say, washy, washy,
as they spray your hands.
They're spraying, not Ebola,
but what's the thing they get on boats?
Ebola?
No.
There's another one they get on boats a lot.
E.coli.
Scurvy.
He hasn't been doing comedy that long.
Have you guys gone to
scurvies that
work out a place for lady pirates?
What band
did you do?
I've done Paramore, Two Weezers, and Three 311s.
That's pretty cool.
Guess where the weed was at.
My room every time.
I just did the last one with the main headliners were Limp Bizkit.
Let me tell you something hilarious.
No bullshit.
That boat was staffed
with 3,000
Filipino Limp Bizkit fans.
Filipino,
I called them figures,
which I thought was hilarious.
Okay.
Killed on the boat.
All right.
On the boat out of the park.
Yeah, I'd take one of those washy, washy things.
They have these spray guns,
and I would make sure they bring one to me at the show,
and then I'd come out and do it to everybody in the front row.
But I'd just spray it right in their eyes,
because that's hilarious.
But I also appreciate that they're, you know,
I like getting my hands washed by a
happy person
of
questionable descent.
I don't know how happy they are about it.
All those cruises are staffed by
incredibly international staffs
because then international guests,
whatever happens, they have
a translator.
Yeah, that's true.
Did Fred speak in Filipino to the fans?
Did they what?
Did they speak in any Filipino for the fans?
Fucking Limp Bizkit?
Limp Bizkit, the band, yeah.
No.
I don't believe.
I know.
You find Fred Durst to be much more cultured than he probably is.
One would think, yes.
He would have learned hello in film.
He was listening to Rosetta Stone while he was red Yankees hat shopping.
He directed that teenage girl football playing movie with Ice Cube.
The long shot, I want to say.
He directed that?
He directed it, yeah.
Holy shit.
And look, Doogie Horner also brought a little frame picture of a cat.
Aw.
I've had that frame sitting around forever, and I was like, I've got to use this for something.
Yeah, so he put a little cat in there that he drew.
And who haven't I introduced yet?
Dan Schechter's here, everybody.
Hey, guys.
Hello.
A veteran of the 12 Guests of Christmas episode, as well as Doogie.
That episode was rough, man.
It was like all your scraps at the end of your phone at the end of the year that were really fucking hard to answer.
Oh, yeah.
No, I put those in fresh.
Those were fresh, hard ones.
Oh, you're right.
They were probably old ones.
There's a mix of stuff tonight because we just had a tournament of championships earlier this evening and uh that'll be on sale about a week from now i've
mentioned that already i'm sure but i will be here at the grammar seat theater on april 27th you guys
so let's get that right once and for all uh dan brought some, I think, some very fun things for the
gift bag. Don't hide it. Everybody
that, you know, fans of the show
probably remember when I threw that guy off
in Traverse City,
owner Tukel,
and that subsequently Dan
and I both have come to his defense. He's a very
nice guy. I just met somebody
else who said they liked him a lot, but that
they understood when I threw him off the show.
And so you brought
a copy of his movie, Summer of
Blood, for the
prize bag tonight. Yeah, and you guys can
check it out on Netflix.
Yeah, check it out on Netflix, and the
winner tonight, watch it, and
tweet at us, me and Dan
Schechter, what you,
and to Owner, I don't know how good he is with his Twitter,
but that sounds like insulting,
but I don't know where he's at with Twitter.
I think you'd be excited to get a positive tweet
if that was possible from anyone.
He and I don't tweet at each other, I should say.
I don't follow him, and he doesn't follow me,
and that's why.
If he followed me, I'd follow him back.
Maybe tonight's the night.
Maybe we're making that happen.
But then I've got to take somebody off the list.
Because I'm at 421.
Which one of you guys on stage right now
do you think I should just not follow anymore on Twitter?
We could wrestle for it.
Could one of you volunteer as tribute?
I'm happy to...
Do we have the cannon sound from the...
I will lay myself down for this one.
No, that's all right.
Do you tweet a lot?
I'm not very good at it, but I try.
I follow you, but I don't...
Most people seem to do it the right amount.
I never get aggravated with anybody.
But what freaks me out sometimes is you'll just glance at the
avatar, and it's similar
to somebody else's avatar, and so
you'll read something in their voice and go, that was pretty
funny, and give them credit in your brain, and then
realize, oh no, that's a completely different person.
And then also you have
to rethink the joke, because now it's from their
Who's the funniest person that you follow, would
you say? Not on this stage, but in general.
Oh, thank you for that.
Letting me off the hook
and not having to say it's Doogie.
Doogie's a prolific, I think of you as
prolific, but not in an annoying way.
I kind of carpet tweet.
I won't tweet for a long time
and then at 3am I'll get a couple cups of coffee
in me and I'm like, I'm a genius! I'm on fire
tonight! And then there's 50
tweets about muffins.
Alright, what else
did you bring, Dan? You brought this maple stuff?
Well, that's a shitty one, but the good one, the book
is in your hand right there. Amazon
delivered a book. I don't think I ordered, but I paid for
it. It's
the making of Tootsie, which is kind of... It's in your hand right there. Amazon delivered a book. I don't think I ordered, but I paid for it.
It's The Making of Tootsie.
Were you being sarcastic?
I thought it was kind of a cool book.
I always wondered about that. I wanted to get something that someone would actually be excited to win.
And I didn't read it. It's fresh.
Are we eligible to win? Because I want that book.
It's available on Amazon.com.
Click through Doug. Can you do that?
No?
DLM.com?
Like I thought, I was hoping, and I was right,
the pictures have descriptions that are a little bit more
than just describing what's going on in the picture.
Is it just Sidney Pollack and Dustin Hoffman
fighting each other on set?
I don't think he's got any pictures of conflict.
But he brings it up.
Jessica Lange was hot.
Yes.
She's still hot.
Just next to a picture of both Dustin Hoffman and Sidney Pollack look concerned.
Sidney looks a little heated, but it could also just be a still from any scene that they were in together in the movie,
because he would always yell at him.
Was Gina Davis in that movie with like, you know, just looking amazing?
She was hot.
Yeah, she was the hot girl on the soap opera.
Yeah, she's in Mensa.
Somebody told me that once. Yeah, she's an Olympic archer. Let's move on from that. Yeah, she was the hot girl on the soap opera. Yeah, she's a Mensa. Somebody told me that once.
Yeah, she's an Olympic archer.
Let's move on.
Oh, come on.
Let's move on.
Enough about Geena Davis, day and night.
She's the president.
I get it.
Bill Murray was also in the...
That's fine.
Move on, move on.
She got impregnated by Brundlefly, man.
She is the shit.
Charlie Baltimore, are you goddamn kidding me?
I don't know.
I could keep going.
I don't know anything that's happening.
Yeah, Terry Garr.
I don't know what's going on.
Terry Garr was in it.
But anyway, so it's Sidney Pollack and Justin Hoffman,
and it just says next to it,
Dorothy's, and Dorothy is, you know, the female
Justin Hoffman character, and he's standing there in the wig.
Even with his hand, it's just like
you know, like he does
in the movie a lot. He didn't grow his hair out for the role?
Where he's like, Mr. Brewster,
that is Mr. Brewster,
and he touches himself like that.
He's doing that, and Sidney Pollack's yelling
at him, and it says, Dorothy's character
is constantly reviewed by Hoffman and Pollack.
Constantly reviewed.
Oh, you mean they argued about it all the time?
What a dainty book this is.
I think you're doing the right thing,
giving rid of this piece of shit.
Oh, no.
Look how thick it is.
What is that, 20 pages?
Like a pamphlet.
Yeah, it's not very big.
I actually want to read it now.
I'm seriously, I'm serious now.
You could probably read it right now, yeah.
That's what I mean, I'm going to read it right now.
A minute or two?
Yeah, I'll get back to you when I'm done.
Chapter I.
Page one, Dustin.
Page two, Hoffman.
Page three, was.
Wow, they really padded this.
Page four, in. Terryded this. Page four. In.
Terrycloth.
Topiary.
Here's a shirt I got from somewhere
that says
here, can you hold that up and
tell them what it says?
Can you do all those things? I got a koozie.
Over amber waves
of strains.
Over amber waves of strains. See, it's a weed thing. And on the front it also says Oh, we're Amber Waves of Strains? Over Amber Waves of Strains.
See, it's a weed thing.
And on the front it also says,
Oh, we're Amber Waves of Strains, but smaller.
We got another shirt from Star Wars Minute,
a fun podcast where they watch a minute of Star Wars
and then talk about it.
Is there anything that isn't a podcast?
There's another one where they're like,
we can top that.
They watch a minute and a half of Star Wars
and talk about it.
Well, it's funny you mention it
because the next prize is, you know,
eye patches.
Eye patches.
Sleep mask?
It's a mask, a sleep mask, yeah,
for sleeping on planes.
They gave it to me on the plane.
But...
I like calling them eye patches.
It's a double eye patch.
I wear these glass eye patches.
They help me see.
Anyway.
Do I keep this shirt now?
It's for the prize bag.
I'm just trying to describe everything, but I'm doing a typically terrible job of it.
Hey, you're doing a great job.
Because there's so many great prizes in this bag.
But I also had a great joke about wearing a sleep mask.
It completely is spaced on.
I don't even know.
I don't know what it was, but maybe I'll add it in later.
I also got this thing from a guy it's called uh wick light and it's like you jam your lighter in there and then you get these little spools of hemp wick
so you can light the hemp wick and then light your bowl with that and it's uh you know you
don't get that butane uh you know that we're all getting when we just smoke weed like we're all doing it. That's the one reason that I don't smoke weed.
Too complicated?
I might start now.
All right.
There's some other shirts and stuff that people gave me in there,
but there's a lot of stuff in the prize bag,
and we got to, like,
you know, get this thing. We got to start talking about
movies.
We already talked about Tootsie.
Yeah, we did.
And that movie where Limp Bizkit's
on a boat with Big Jay Oakerson.
What was that film called that you did?
We had to dig into it.
Figure it out? Was that what it was called?
What's that?
I always remember the parody version
of the Poseidon Adventure when I was a kid
in Mad Magazine was Poopsie Down Adventure.
And they really just focused on the scene where the kid's in the bathroom and everything's upside down.
They should have called it like Poopsie Daisy Adventure.
Nobody?
Nope, they disagree.
That's what they should have done.
That's what that children's humor magazine should have done?
Imagine like a 40-year-old reading that.
Poop-sci down.
This is hot number.
Oh, hello, Mr.
I'm glad I subscribed to this.
Type, type, type.
What's the last movie you saw there, Doogie?
Can I say the last play I saw?
Nope.
Okay.
Moving on.
Big J.
I saw Toy Story 2 in 3D there.
At the Museum of the Moving Image.
I wanted to say I saw The Iceman Cometh.
And I just said it.
It was fantastic. Well, that's cool because it's
based on a movie it's based on a well it's not but uh it's very good Nathan Lane Brian Dennehy
it's incredible five hours didn't feel like it though but not a movie so I won't talk about it
wait you just saw it yeah it was it oh so that's what that's why Martin Short's in the other thing
and he's because he's doing that and then he's going to go back
to It's Only a Play after this thing ends its run.
Martin Short's going to be in The Iceman Cometh?
That'd be a fun switch.
Brian Dennehy is Martin Short.
What?
Brian Dennehy, for most of the play,
just sits in a chair.
He just plays an old man sitting in an uncomfortable chair.
And they added all these musical numbers for Nathan Lane.
The Iceman, he's a-comin'.
This is untrue.
This is not...
Oh, the Iceman comin' is a-dayin' down the street.
No, they didn't.
I wonder what he's got for me.
It could be liquor, her sadness, or my son jumping out a window.
Or it could be something special.
Hey, Iceman, do you want to build an Iceman?
All right, you guys.
We've got to talk about movies some more.
I'm ready to move on, but I haven't even asked my other guests about what they've seen.
What did you see?
Have you seen any plays, Big Jay?
No, but I saw the movie of the play Into the Woods.
I took my daughter.
So it was like punching myself in the dick for two and a half hours.
It was bad.
It was not enjoyable.
You liked it.
What was it?
You didn't like it at all?
Into the Woods.
Oh, Into the Woods.
It was so...
Sondheim, Stephen Sondheim.
It was so bad.
Front to back.
Did she like it?
Not even, which made it even worse.
Because it was just for her, but she's, you know,
I fucked her up with horror movies and shit, so.
How old is your daughter?
Twelve.
Yeah, I'm funny, I'm just not a good dad.
It's PG-13, isn't it?
That's close.
What?
And who's to say?
What's that one year difference going to make?
I don't know. Right?
I know she hated Into the Woods, but she likes,
you know, paranormal activity and shit. At least
she tells me she likes it. I don't know. Maybe she hates
it. I think Paranormal Activity is a perfect
horror movie for kids, because it's just like, you know,
20 minutes of nothing happening, and then
somebody gets thrown against a wall,
and that's the end of it, you know?
And it's very easy to make them believe it could happen to them
if they're alone.
It keeps her in line.
Weird.
But it works.
That's why you always have that fishing wire
tied to a chair in the kitchen.
You got to believe in something bigger.
You never follow the rules, right?
Because that's always the first thing that happens
in those paranormal activity movies
is a chair falls over,
and everyone's like, oh my god.
You know that's just a chair, right?
Shit falls over.
What about you, Kevin Wiseman?
I've seen a lot of plays.
I'm on a play-tare while I'm out here.
Let's go ahead and talk about it.
Fuck it.
Sorry I started this.
The Carole King.
I saw the Carole King musical.
I thought that, yeah, thank you.
I thought that was really good.
Beautiful.
Just about to close.
You just saw it.
Jesse Mueller.
Well, no, the show's going on, but she's leaving the show.
Who are they going to get to play her part?
They have somebody.
She started tonight.
Rosie O'Donnell?
No, I think Nathan Lane.
Do you think Whoopi's available?
Yeah.
Rosie Perez is in Fish Out of Water.
Oh, yeah.
Was that good?
Did you guys see it?
That's a tough ticket.
Expensive ticket, that one.
It was like $450 face value to go.
Oh, that's got to be worth it, because at one point he goes, pretty, pretty.
He does.
Pretty, pretty.
Pretty expensive.
He does it.
People stand up and they take their dicks out.
Yeah.
It's the seminal moment.
I also saw The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time.
That's crazy.
That's so amazing.
Fucking awesome.
Yeah.
I highly recommend.
Yeah.
I think you'd like that, Jay.
Yeah.
Your daughter might like it too.
Yeah.
Actually, that's true.
Yeah.
Because there's not swearing or anything.
Well, it's about a kid and he's, well, slightly autistic, but it's just an incredibly immersive
theater piece. Yeah. It's about a kid and he's, well, slightly autistic, but it's just an incredibly immersive theater piece.
Yeah, it's about a kid
on the spectrum
and for the audience
it's like a fucking light show.
Yeah.
There's no set,
but it's all done
with an incredible
kind of, you know,
backlighting with, you know,
video pieces.
It's just great.
Yeah, it's great
when you're high.
I'll just get her
smoked up and take her. I'm sure it's great even when you're not high. Smoke your daughter up, take's great when you're high. I'll just get her smoked up and take her.
I'm sure it's great
even when you're not high.
Smoke your daughter up,
take her to see
The Light Show.
Oh, good call, guys.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll do that
on our way to Laser Floyd.
We consult with,
you know,
single dads
about what they should do
with their 12-year-olds
and it's pretty good
business we got going.
What about you, Dan?
Have you been
to the movies?
I don't want to talk
about Will Smith
and Focus at all.
Can I talk about
this movie that I saw
that's called Wild Tales?
Has anybody seen
the movie Wild Tales?
It's like I wandered
in one dude
he loved it.
It's like the best
experience I've had
in a movie
in a long time.
It is at times
like Pulp Fiction good.
It was nominated
for like best foreign film
and it just blew my mind
that I didn't pay for it
so I want to pay it forward. Did you see Ida though? No I haven't seen Ida yet. French film yeah it was really good. It was nominated for best foreign film and it just blew my mind that I didn't pay for it, so I want to pay it forward.
Did you see Ida, though?
No, I haven't seen Ida yet.
Also on Netflix. Available on Netflix.
How was Focus?
It was great.
You're amongst friends.
It was probably what you would guess
that it would if you could read the tea leaves of a trailer.
Better than Into the Woods?
Yeah, it was. I also hated Into the Woods.
I can just say. Was it better than Fresh Prince of
Bel-Air? Did you, in the
scene of Into the Woods, did you hate all of it? Did you like
the two prince guys doing their
one scene? I did like that one
scene. The opening was great. Every
song sounded so exactly the same.
Yeah, I feel the same way. And it was just, ended with Into the
Woods and they would list all the things they're going to
do when they get there. Yeah. Into the Woods ended with Into the Woods, and they would list all the things they're going to do when they get there. Yeah, it's pretty brutal.
Into the Woods to buy a cow and bob a bob and kill an elephant.
Fuck a giant.
I don't know, dude.
I'm such a bad lyricist.
I always revert to cursing.
They were already Into the Woods when they were singing about going into the woods.
It's a fucking woodland world.
It's like everything's woodsy, but it's also always night and dark
and just like, I don't know.
I didn't get it.
Johnny Depp was in it for eight seconds.
Yeah.
Well, that could be a plus.
You know, like if he was in Mordecai a lot less,
that might have been pretty good.
I have to pull disclosure.
I did not, nor will I ever,
see Mordecai on the grounds of
no
no
I might watch it on a plane
or something
I'll watch anything on a plane
I'll bang him out on a plane
but then I always kind of want to go back
like when they give you too many choices
I just want to watch something I know I already like
I watched Love is Strange on the plane out here
I watched that too, you liked that?
I did, it snuck up on me
those two guys were great
maybe that's it, maybe it didn't sneak up on me
maybe it was going to tap me on the shoulder
and then got distracted
at the very end
those two guys are great
they're so good, but it just felt so indie
in a way that indies haven't been lately
with a lot of piano on the soundtrack.
A lot of tinkering.
A lot of tinkering, yes.
And just sort of like,
yeah, life's tough.
There's all these kind of complications
you have to deal with.
And they were, I mean,
Melina and Lithgow were great,
but there were some festival performances.
Some of the other actors didn't fare as well,
but those guys are pros,
man. Do you know what I mean?
But I thought they may have been snubbed
for Academy stuff because I had heard
so much good stuff about this movie. It's like
80% on Rotten Tomatoes or maybe
more. And so I kind of went into it
probably a little too built up, but also
knowing that they ultimately got snubbed
and probably did because it's
kind of an unfocused movie. It's sort of about
a series of problems. Yeah.
But it's worth seeing it for
them, I think. Okay.
I'm saying for those who haven't seen it.
I've already seen it, so I agree.
I agree. You guys, all of you,
sit through it. On a plane.
Because Kevin and I agree.
It's worth seeing. It was a good plane movie.
The other movie I saw on the plane was
I'm liking that when they're in your own seat
a lot of them are
unedited.
They just show the movie.
The nudity, the violence, the swearing, it's all
still in there. And I love that.
As soon as I get to one
frickin' that looks like it was
dubbed in over fuckin', I just turn
the movie off. Because I don't want to watch that version of it.
And so that's why I've never seen
all of Let's Be Cops.
Right.
I know, I always have to do that for 80 hours.
As soon as David Wayans is clearly saying shit,
and his mouth is like, stuff,
I'm just like, fuck this United Airlines.
I'm not going to name names, though.
That's true.
What was the movie that you saw?
Didn't you start a sentence that there was a movie that you saw?
Yeah, I was going to talk about the other movie I saw,
but I forgot what it was, so I just decided to ramble about editing.
The last airplane movie I saw was Judd Apatow's Wife
and some other older broad.
The other woman.
And Kate Upton, and they were all fucking the
same guy.
Yeah.
I saw that on a
plane.
I got invested after a
few minutes.
I will not lie.
It was a weird
moment.
We're getting an idea
of what kind of
movies you like now.
We're seeing that.
Yeah.
We're seeing that.
It's got a strange
They're all over the
board.
Into the Woods
Paranormal Activity
and something where
everybody's fucking
Judd Apatow's wife.
Fresh off a Limp
Biscuit concert.
Where am I at, man?
What's going on?
Deep waters.
But you watched the whole thing?
Whole thing.
Okay, so, I mean, people
are gonna, this isn't that big of a spoiler,
you know, the guy that's cheating on all of them, when they get
their comeuppance on him and he gets angry
in that boardroom, and he violently sm cheating on all of them, when they get there, comeuppance on him, and he gets angry in that boardroom.
Yeah.
And he violently smashes into one of the window walls.
It's a great stunt.
And then he's fucking, for the rest of the scene,
there's tons of blood coming out of his nose and in his teeth,
and he's still running around yelling at people
and arguing with all this fucking blood on his face.
It's just weird.
Very bizarre.
I rewound that and watched that part again when I was on a plane at the same time.
That's odd that you've been to it.
Yeah, very bizarre, especially on a common space television.
It wasn't like in the thing.
It was up.
Oh, yeah.
No.
If somebody's got a baby sitting next to me, I'm like, can I hold that?
And I put the baby's face right in it when it gets crazy.
Can I hold that?
Do you mind if I just for, thank you.
I had to hold a baby recently.
I'm trying to remember whose it was.
Let me get that for you.
I'm trying to remember if I gave it back too.
That's a weird feeling.
Holding a baby? Just holding a baby, yeah.
Here, hold this baby.
I was at the Austin airport and this couple came up to me and said will you take a picture with our baby? Just holding a baby, yeah. Here, hold this baby. Oh, that's what it was. I was at the Austin airport.
I was at the Austin airport, and this couple came up to me and said,
will you take a picture with our baby?
And I was like, do you guys want to be in it?
And they go, no, just hold our baby.
You're over fucking Mayer?
I'm like, you're out of your goddamn mind.
Did you figure out that the soberest I might ever be is walking off a plane?
What if they handed it to you and then ran?
Is that the only reason you asked me at that moment in time?
What? What if they handed it to you and then ran is that the only reason you asked me at that moment in time what if they handed it to you and then ran
oh no
it was a really cute baby
Doug what's the best movie to see on a plane
as drunk as you usually are on a plane
I don't get that drunk on a plane
but I try to do an edible or something
so I'm usually pretty high
I watch Guardians of the Galaxy over and over again
on the plane
and to United's credit, that they just show.
They don't change it when Rocket Raccoon says shit and stuff.
Or that Jackson Pollock joke, they don't cut that out.
They did a good job.
But I just hate it when you're way deep into it, like a PG-13,
and they just haven't sworn yet or had any nudity yet,
and then it happens and you see that it's an edited movie
I've had to do less and less of that
though the ADR for airplanes
I think because now they're just
letting you watch the entire thing
because usually when you do something you have to do ADR again
and try to match
a swear word with something comparable
which never sounds good
what's the word they always use for
asshole
that supposedly looks just like asshole but doesn't jackhole never sounds good. What's the word they always use for asshole?
That supposedly looks just like asshole, but doesn't?
Jack hole.
Jack hole.
I love when they get creative and just like, let's just have a new swear word.
You know?
Flap cock.
I haven't said that one yet.
Smash bowl.
That's like fart pussy. That's like saying fart pussy.
There's still already curse words.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't have cock in it already.
For one time I had to say, I said prick instead of dick.
I was like, really?
How is that better?
Were you referring to your own?
I pulled out my prick?
No, I was calling a guy dick and then
i just called him a prick instead oh yeah that is weirdly better i think there's a lot of religious
shit too you got to take on anything it's like jesus christ or whatever they make you like take
that out for certain places fox catcher that's the plane you're saying that after an edible that's
the answer to the question yeah good stuff but i also knew it would be a funny thing to just yell out suddenly.
Most violent year.
Like, that's another, instead of motherfucker,
they dub it foxcatcher.
Oh, you're saying that's in replace of a bad word, foxcatcher.
Birdsucker.
Yeah.
Oh, we got to move on, you guys.
Everybody goes to movies.
That's what we established.
Who's seen Chappie?
People at the first show
were trying to convince me
Chappie's great.
I'm curious.
There's like a new wave of people
who are like,
it's not as bad as you think
that are like kind of
coming out now.
I think it's pretty bad.
So what, it's just kind of bad?
Did you love District 9?
I did.
How were the reviews?
I didn't like District 9.
And I liked Elysium just because the violence was amazing,
like hilarious violence, but Jodie Foster was hard to take.
And then now this.
I think I've commented on this on other shows,
but it's like he was this visionary with District 9,
and now we know what the vision is.
It's just going to be future robots
dealing with South Africa every time.
Like, that's going to be his thing.
I mean, Woody Allen,
like, at least he goes to other boroughs.
And sometimes Europe.
Well, I want to see.
I'm interested because Deontford is in Chappie.
Yeah, so that's fun.
And I think they walk around with their characters are their names.
They're whatever their two wacky names are in the band.
Ninja.
Ninja.
And they walk around in shirts that have their own names on them.
So are they just them in the movie?
They're basically just them, yeah.
Oh.
And at one point I hear
that even one of them is wearing a Chappie shirt
when it's like, why would
anyone, why would that be a thing that's even been
produced yet? Why would
anyone know who Chappie is
in this story where some people know Chappie?
Well, the movie's so popular, even people in the movie
are like, this is a great movie.
It's product placement
for the movie. It's like Spider-Man.
It's never too early to support this movie.
Well, yeah, it's like how Spider-Man wears
a Spider-Man costume in the Spider-Man movie.
Has anybody here seen Chappie?
Yeah, that's what I asked a moment ago,
and then some people applauded,
and we had that conversation.
I saw the ice cream.
We were talking about that.
If anybody wants to start talking about that again.
But seriously, has anybody here seen Chappie?
Have you really looked at Chappie? Have you really
looked at Chappie?
Yeah.
Have you really
learned about Chappie?
The trailer looked good.
No?
Did you see it?
I just can't get over
that it's called Chappie.
Yeah.
All right.
It's really violent,
I hear.
Like, just as violent
as his other movies.
It's like,
but it's called Chappie.
It's called Chappie.
More like crappy.
What is that?
Wolverine's in it, right?
Yeah, he is.
He's got...
With, like, bangs.
He's the bad guy,
but I hear it's kind of a one-note character.
It's what I've heard.
I don't know.
I love talking about movies I haven't seen yet.
But we got to move on to the game portion of the show, you guys.
Yeah.
Let the games begin.
Yeah.
Gentlemen, step out of the light and into the shadows
and choose your name tag.
Don't yell at me.
I'm not going to pick.
But the, oh, he said Doogie.
I get it.
While you guys do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.
And we're back. Kevin Wiseman got
a facehugger from Alien that a
young lady macromade.
She macromade it. Really well done.
And what's your name again? It's very impressive.
Katie. Katie made that.
But everyone wants to see it on.
Put it on your face, Kevin, like you're being attacked.
Really?
By the face hugger from the Alien franchise, which is being rebooted.
All right.
Bye.
With Neil Blomkamp.
That's amazing.
I think I broke it.
I'm sorry.
It's become a neck hugger now.
It can still function.
The Chappie guy gets to do the next Alien movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's going to be
called Alien colon
Chappie gets a summer home.
And that's when he goes
to Johannesburg.
Where are they originally?
I don't know.
It was just a guess
that they were somewhere else.
We call it like Pallian
or something.
Who are you playing for, Dan?
The Matty Ducks.
And there's a really
fun picture of you coaching, I think,
Matt's face on a bunch of kids.
And you generously maybe already signed
this, maybe, at some other point? Yeah, before
the show I said hi to some folks. Yeah,
I like this. So that one's pre-signed.
Yeah, it's a great show. Does it have a shithead on the back?
Oh, Matt Smith is his name. I don't think there's a
shithead. Hey, what'd you, hey!
I'm not supposed to say it. Pass it back to him.
Get him to write something on the back of it.
All he's got to do is find a pen.
Yeah.
Devin's got a pen.
Devin comes prepared.
He drove eight hours to be here.
Who are you playing for, Big Jay?
I'm playing for I Am Paul.
I mean, I picked this
because it's a baby Groot dancing. It's a baby Groot
and it's actually dancing, and it's dancing
to the sound of my voice right now? Is that what it's dancing to?
Yes.
Oh, baby, give it
one more try.
Show me that you can,
girl.
One, two,
three, baby, you.
I don't know the words, but
it's the basic idea of it. That's awesome.
And then it says, I am
Paul. I am Paul, yep. Because that's what he says
over and over again through the whole movie.
We are Paul.
Spoiler.
Aww.
I like
that movie the more I watch it
I fucking love that movie
I'm so psyched it's going to be another one
and even if it turns out shitty
I'm just going to be like it's more of that
I'm happy
who are you playing for Doogie?
I'm playing for Billy
and I picked it because it's a
Thanos Infinity Gauntlet
and I love the Infinity Gauntlet
comic book series
when I was a teenager.
And you love just putting your fist in something
that a stranger just gave you.
Just let it luxuriate in there.
You're going to get an athlete's hand.
I don't think that guy's an athlete.
No offense.
It's fair.
No offense, Billy, but...
That is fair.
I didn't see you wearing a helmet.
Very impressive team.
Very impressive things everybody made.
Yeah, they do a great job every time here
when we do them in New York City.
It's a nice turnout, nice people.
Like I said, Devin's always up front.
Drove eight hours, so
doesn't count as a New Yorker.
But he's
been welcomed.
People love you here, don't they?
I think so.
Okay, shut up.
I love fucking with him.
You like Chappie?
Chappie was good. He loved Chappie? Chappie was good.
I love Chappie.
Okay, good.
He loved Chappie.
I'm going to see it.
I am too.
Let's go.
Good night.
Good night.
400 people showed up at Chappie over at the...
It's the closest theater.
That's the great thing about those big wide releases, though,
is you're just like, what's the theater nearby?
And you go over there and you watch it,
because it starts every hour, sometimes more.
I forgot to ask you earlier, Dan, what's going on with,
do you got another movie in the hopper, in the works?
I'm going to go shoot something this summer,
but I don't want to pitch it or anything.
But yeah, I'm going to make another one.
Yay!
Yay, he's making another movie!
I love movies! Thanks for asking.
That's nice stuff. Does that mean you can't go to
the film festival this summer?
No, I know. I can't turn around fast enough
for old Michael Moore. Sucks when you're making movies
how you can't just sit around watching other people's movies.
But that's how it works
sometimes.
Alright, so
this first game we're going to play...
What was that noise?
Soda gun? Sprite machine.
Oh my god.
They're shooting soda. You can tell that soda's really fresh.
Jerking a soda over there and we can hear it that
loud? I thought one of you
guys was doing a bong impression into your
microphone.
One of these classic moves.
Somebody's getting a phosphate over at the
soda bar.
An egg cream? Are they getting
an egg cream?
That's what it sounded like to me. But anyway,
we're going to play a game
called
Cluster Flicks, also known as Don't Yell Out Amy Adams
We're going to have to add
An Or Ben Bailey addendum
Which you guys will find out about
If you listen to the Tournament of Champions
It's cracking me up that my speaking voice
Is making Groot dance
Yeah, it's been going the whole time
He's killing it though speaking voice is making Groot dance. Yeah, it's been going the whole time.
He's killing it, though.
He's so creepy.
He's like this little rubber... It's... I don't know.
Shh. He stopped for you.
Yeah, he goes...
He dances to everything except my voice.
He's like...
Am I the only one thinking that some women
are going to abuse that thing?
You'd have to have some shaped pussy to handle that.
Some girls like it branchy and twiggy and...
A lot of business.
You'd have to get that out of the hospital like a fish hook logistics
I'm going to name one
three movies
that all have the same actor
or actress in them that I've
pre-decided is the one
it's never happened before but if some other
actor that you think of happens to be in all three of these movies,
that's not the right answer.
It has to be the person I'm thinking of.
I don't think it'll happen, but you never know.
I'll say three movies,
and then you can all jump in,
into your microphones as fast as you can,
and name the actor or actresses
in all three of those movies.
If nobody gets it right in a quick burst
after that, I'll just slowly
start adding titles
to the pile until
somebody figures it out.
And that's
what happened one time.
But now
I've grown accustomed to it.
And it almost
brings me serenity.
But not quite. I still don't care to it. And it almost brings me serenity. But not quite.
I still don't care for it.
And that was good timing.
Congratulations.
I'm ready.
Ready, fellas?
Ready.
Ready.
Will Smith.
I don't accept pre-guessing.
But I'd be
funny if you were right.
Brian Dennehy.
Does everyone want one pre-guess?
What's your pre-guess?
I already said Brian Dennehy.
I'll say it again.
Chappie. The films of Chappie. what's your pre-guess? I already said Brian Dennehy. Yeah, he did his. I'll say it again.
The films of Chappie.
Chappie's had a prolific career.
Julia Stiles.
That would be a... I would never imagine
anybody I know
to pick off Julia Stiles' movies.
All right, fine.
Maybe.
A lot of movies.
Maybe.
All right, here we go.
Wait till I've said the third one before you jump in
this person was in
For the Boys, The Locusts
and a movie called
South of Heaven, West of Hell
who was in all three of those films
just the audience.
I mean...
Bette Midler.
Oh, shit.
Julianne Moore?
No, just the people on stage.
Mary Stewart Masterson.
What year was For the Boys?
Can you give us a year?
No.
That's too much information.
I don't even know what year those movies came out.
They're just three movies from the resume of a person
that you should know, but you shouldn't know.
Julianne Moore? You shouldn't figure it shouldn't know. Julianne Moore? You shouldn't
figure it out this easily. Julianne
Moore? No. For the boys.
Julianne Moore? Locusts.
You ready for more?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now it's just
after each title, you can just jump in if you
know it. The Prime
Gig.
Marissa
Tomei. Hang on, here's another one.
He's in the movie. She was in the movie.
He, she was in
a movie called
I Love Your Work.
These are some deep cuts.
Yeah. I've never...
Hang on, I got another one. A movie called
Thumbsucker.
Oh.
Keanu Reeves.
No. Keanu Reeves. No.
Keanu Reeves was not in For the Boys.
Parker Posey.
No.
Devin says Good Guess.
She was in Thumbsucker, I think.
Okay, I'm ready to add another one.
This is a big movie. This one might really help somebody.
Lou Taylor Pucci.
Into the Wild.
Reese Witherspoon.
Witherspoon was just in Wild.
Wild was the girl into the wild, I thought.
And it made me realize that I never worried
that Sean Penn would get raped once.
Emile Hirsch.
Emile.
Emile.
Emile.
Eddie Vedder is not correct.
Eddie Vedder's been in like two movies
and they were both documentaries about Eddie Vedder.
Zach Galifianakis?
Laura Dern?
No.
No, she was also in Wild.
Wait, Emile...
Macaulay Culkin?
Let me give you some more names.
Into the Wild.
Vince Vaughn?
This one, who said that?
I did.
Correct, Vince Vaughn.
Yeah, Vince Vaughn.
Into the Wild.
When Emil comes to see him, he had a couple scenes.
Next up was Rudy.
Nice work.
I was going to say Rudy next.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good clue.
A cool, dry place.
Domestic disturbance.
Four Christmases.
Unfinished business.
That's the movie that just came out this weekend, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I put that kind of far up on the list,
because I thought even coming out this weekend,
you guys might not still figure it out.
No, I don't want to do this. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Fred Claus, Swingers,
Lost World Jurassic Park, Clay Pigeons,
Psycho remake, shot by shot.
You waited to go through the hits at the end.
Yeah.
No, it's fun to see how many names I can say
before somebody figures it out.
But good job.
Dan Schechter's our winner of that game.
That was good.
Did Vince Vaughn play the bus
that the kid camped out in?
Or was he the moose that he
shot? Yeah, he played the berries that he ate.
Hey, it's me, Vince Vaughn. How's everything
going out here? Okay, bye.
Kid's like, who the fuck was that?
He was really good in that movie. I liked Into the Wild.
He was good in what?
Into the Wild.
Oh, yeah.
It's a great movie.
Oh, that's why somebody guessed Zach Galifianakis,
because he was in Into the Wild.
He was, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, those guys are both great in it.
I love that movie for some reason.
It's a great movie, I think, too.
It's not mentioned enough. Yeah, and also, the guy who tours around is Mark Twain. I love that movie for some reason. It's a great movie, I think, too. It's not mentioned enough.
Yeah, and also the guy who tours around is Mark Twain.
I'm blanking on his name.
Hal Holbrook.
Hal Holbrook is in it, yeah, and he's great.
Yeah, he's the emotional center of that.
That son of a bitch.
Yeah, that movie is a son of a bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah, I liked it a lot.
Yeah.
Bad news, though, for people that like to hate her, Kristen
Stewart's in it. I like Kristen
Stewart. I do, too. Good news for
people that like to like her, though.
That's how I should have put it.
You know what? She's great in Still Alice.
She's so good in Still Alice.
That was a really good movie. Julianne Moore.
Alec Baldwin.
All right,
here we go go Kate Bosworth
we gotta move on to the next
thing here and it's
crowd favorite
and I thought it would be fun
to let the winner of the first game
have control
right and decide
what name
we're going to use for our round
of last man Stanton.
Wow.
That's a huge advantage.
It's a massive advantage.
But I personally want to take on that advantage.
When I'm home listening, the one I think would be fun is Christopher Walken.
Okay, we might have done him at some point, but I am open to doing it again.
It's not like I remember you did it, but I don't know.
Yeah, no, I don't, you know. I'm not there at my shows, but I am open to doing it again. It's not like I remember you did it, but I don't know. Yeah, no, I don't, you know.
I'm not there at my shows.
Are you kidding me?
But yeah, Christopher Walken
is a great one.
And all we gotta do, guys, is just take turns
naming movies Christopher Walken was in.
Music videos don't
count.
SNL and Peter Pan don't count.
And as soon as we can't,
you know,
as soon as you can't
think of one,
you're out.
And we'll start with Dan
and then go to Kevin.
Annie Hall.
Dan's starting us off
with Annie Hall.
Hard to overlook that one.
I'm going to say
Deer Hunter.
I'm going deep cut.
Wasn't he in Deer Hunter?
Yeah.
We let it slide the first time around.
We know how we love exact titles.
That Deer Hunter.
Yes.
That Deer Hunter.
That Deer Hunter.
Deer Hunter.
Deer Hunter.
Big J.
Dead Zone. Yeah. King and same thing. The Dead Zone. Deer hunter, exclamation point. Big J. Dead zone?
Yeah.
Same thing, the dead zone.
King of New York?
King of New York.
King of New York.
That one doesn't have a that, does it?
Okay.
The king of New York.
Is it king or kings?
There's only one of them. King of New York. Yeah. Okay. King of New York. Is it king or kings? There's only one of them.
King of New York.
Yeah.
Okay.
King of New York.
The king of...
I'm thinking of king's pin.
King of the New York.
Oh, it's my turn.
That probably felt like I was stalling,
but of course this is pretty easy.
Man, your phone is
well illuminated over there. What's happening?
Oh, just I have people text me the
answers. Yeah.
Exactly. Bullshit.
No, it's somebody named Jeremy who wants to
know if I'm available to do a gig
while I'm in New York. Let me quickly write
back, nope.
Alright, so
Hey, you want to do my mic?
You said King of New York. I'm going to go with
Hairspray.
Hairspray.
I'll say
they'll catch me if you can.
Catch me if you can.
Don't catch me.
I'm going to go with The Pulp Fiction.
I see what you guys are doing, but I will eliminate you.
All right, Pulp Fiction.
This is not a game.
It's a game.
It's not a game.
It's a game.
You know what I mean.
Quit horsing around.
It's not a horse game.
Whose turn is it?
Mine.
Jay?
True Romance.
Oh, yeah.
Great film.
Great one and out on that one.
Wasn't he just in the one scene?
Yeah, yeah.
You're a cantaloupe.
I made my friends watch that scene.
I was like, you got to gotta watch this scene it's so great
and they watched it and they were just
they just thought it was like super racist
super crazy racist they didn't think it was great at all
anyway seven psychopaths
oh that was the one I was about to say
shit just got interesting
not really
Batman Returns.
I can't ask him.
He wore cufflinks
and made a human teeth
in that movie.
It's a fun fact.
He really did.
It's a true fact.
And you never knew it,
but he's like,
oh, it helps me
with my character.
Swear to God.
Those subtle differences
in those Christopher
Walken characters.
In this one, I'm going to be dead-eyed and talk like this.
I don't do a good impression, though.
Dan?
Did you go?
Did you go?
I did.
I said...
Okay, I just saw Basquiat on TV, on Netflix, and it was great.
Basquiat.
He has, like, another one-and-done scene in that, too.
I said Batman Returns.
That's how interested I am in your Basquiat.
No, good one.
That one you could slip by me, though.
You know, recently on the show,
Simon Rex slipped by me that
Morgan Freeman was in The Bone Collector.
No one in the room questioned it. Morgan Freeman was in The Bone Collector. No one in the room
questioned it.
Morgan Freeman's in everything.
I'm pretty sure he's in
the Favreau movie, Maid. Was he in that?
Yeah. Walken was in Maid?
Yeah. No.
Why would they need him? They got Puff Daddy.
Columbo.
You're the guy who played Columbo.
Who has IMDb? I'm pretty sure he had a little part in it.
I don't want people to look at their IMDB.
We know you're a liar.
Shit.
Are you thinking of Peter Falk?
Are you thinking of Peter Falk's role in that?
I might be thinking Peter Falk.
Yeah, Peter Falk.
I'm out, I guess.
Sorry, guys.
You were doing great, man.
I was doing good. I was going deep cuts.
You still have that to keep, if you'd like.
I have what?
That face hugger.
Oh, I'm done for the night?
No, you can keep it, though.
Oh, I get to keep it?
If you want.
She said I could have it, but I'll let you have it if you want it.
Well, we'll talk about it afterwards.
I mean, I kind of want it just because, you know,
I don't have anything to keep my face warm walking back to the hotel.
Yeah.
I already broke it, though.
And I think it would also make a statement if you're just walking down the street with that.
Yeah, I want you to have it then.
Can I give it to you?
Hey, why mess with this guy?
He's already got a big-
It's making us forget.
Problem.
He's got a facehugger.
He's probably impregnating him right now.
She wants me to give it to you.
She, she, she...
Yeah, here you go.
Okay, thank you.
Oh, scary!
Oh, that's Oh, that's what
this is for.
This will be fun to vine dropping this
like if there's an overhang where women are walking
underneath. Or dudes.
But just if this fell on you
when you were just walking along,
it wouldn't hurt, but it would scare
the fuck out of somebody.
Alright, so I'm excited about that.
I'm still disappointed about my answer.
I'm sorry, I'm not listening to you.
I'm going to tie it to my mic stand like this is going to be my new thing,
like Steve Tyler.
Oh, Doug won't go on.
He doesn't have his face hugger on the microphone.
Motherfucking
facehugger.
Alright, were we playing a game still?
We're on J?
Yeah. Kevin's out.
So I go now? At close range.
Oh, yeah, great one.
So menacing in that.
When they're out there in the lake or whatever
and he just goes,
you know,
just puts his finger up.
I thought you were going to say
into the woods.
When they're out
into the woods
and he starts singing.
He hasn't sang in a lot of,
oh, I just thought
of another one.
Doogie?
Mouse Hunt.
Mouse Hunt.
One of my favorite movies.
Also, Nathan Lane.
Yeah, he plays
the exterminator.
Oh, okay.
Of course he does. He basically plays Christopher Walken, but, he plays the exterminator. Oh, okay. Of course he does.
He basically plays Christopher Walken,
but he's wearing a mouse exterminator.
A lot of pratfalls.
The mouse gets the best of him?
Yes. As a matter of fact, he does.
So he's kind of like Pesci and Stern,
but with a mouse instead of a small child?
Well, I mean, he brings his own special thing to it,
but yes.
Okay, good.
I haven't been writing these down. What were the last 12? Well, I mean, he brings his own special thing to it, but yes. Okay, good. It's a great movie.
I haven't been writing these down.
What were the last 12?
Batman Returns.
That was a couple ago.
Yeah, Basquiat.
Batman Mouse Hunt.
Kevin is out.
And then Jay said At Close Range.
And that brings us to Doogie, who went with Mouse Hunt.
Great movie.
Yeah, Gore Verbinski directed it.
Nathan Lane's in it.
It's incredible.
All right, fair enough.
Pennies from Heaven.
Oh, good call.
I saw that recently.
It's a really good movie.
Every time it rains, it rains.
A click with Adam Sandler.
Click, an Adam Sandler film.
My turn.
It's back on you, Jay, yeah.
Sleepy Hollow.
Oh, right.
I got another one.
Doogie.
Twelve Heads in a Duffel Bag.
That was the one!
I'm reading your minds. No, you're out. It's Eight Heads in a Duffel bag That was the one I'm reading your mind
No you're out
It's 8 heads in a duffel bag
Is it?
No no no there was a direct to DVD sequel
Why did they do 9, 10 or 11?
Jump right to 12
They thought people were like not enough heads
Well that was the chief complaint.
The only thing I didn't like
about that Joe Pesci comedy
was not enough heads
in that bad.
See what we got here.
One, two.
That was my favorite scene.
Three.
Still more.
Four.
All right, sorry, dude.
You're out.
So it's just me and Dan and Jay,
and I'm going to say
a view to a Kill.
Yeah, I was trying to think of a bomb one.
Suicide Kings.
Oh, I just thought of one.
Damn it.
Joe Dirt.
Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Holy shit, you guys are too good at this.
I might be fucked.
Oh, no.
Oh, oh, oh.
I got one in my head
but I can't think of what it is.
I'm gonna say
fuck.
There's some
fucking movie that I don't got the title
right but I fixated on it.
Start the clock. I'll tell you about it later.
Just in the interest of time.
This was a good one, guys.
I'm out. Dan?
This is the most obscure one I can think of.
Envy?
Envy?
It's a movie with Jack Black and Ben Stiller.
The Vapurizer.
The Vapurizer.
Sure, sure.
Makes sense. There's aizer. Sure, sure. Yeah, okay.
Makes sense.
I mean, there's a dozen more at least.
I know.
He has 128 credits.
What's the next one Jay's got?
Nick of Time?
Yeah, with Johnny Depp in real time.
Okay, Dan?
All right, talk for a second.
Okay, talking, talking.
It's Dan's turn.
Dan, Dan, Dan.
Dan, Dan.
This is my idea of the stupid category.
I'm already ready.
Oh, Jay's got another one already?
I think so. I'm still fixated on one.
Totally screwed, right?
You might be winning anyway. You don't even need it.
Yeah, I think I'm...
You got it. Just take a breath.
What about...
Is there some sort of a time limit on this?
I mean, come on.
Yeah, he's about ready.
Yeah, I guess so.
What's that rock star?
Not rock star.
What's that musical with Tom Cruise?
Was he in that thing?
No, he wasn't even in it.
You don't even have to bother.
All right, fine.
You're thinking of Rock of Ages.
All right, you're out.
You can put one more on, the cherry on top.
I'm pretty sure things are due in Denver when you're dead.
Sounds pretty legit.
Seems like you'd be in that.
Yeah.
What was the thing about...
It's Andy Garcia.
What was the thing with Benicia Del Toro and Alicia Silverstein
that's like baggage claim, excess baggage?
I kept thinking baggage claim. I know that'sstein is like baggage claim, excess baggage. I kept thinking baggage claim.
I know that's Paula Patton.
It's excess baggage.
We're forgetting about Jersey Boys.
Oh, yeah.
He's just in Jersey Boys.
The whole thing is forgettable.
Was he in Pool Hall Junkies?
Was he in that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How about the movie called
Too Little Too Late, Boys?
Because I won.
Big J is our winner.
All right. Yay.
I like an actual movie called
Two Little Too Late Boys. It's these two little guys
that are like, we're always late. Come on, we gotta get there.
They're like, they're fat, they're sweating.
They're like, ah, we're gonna miss it. We're gonna miss it.
And Christopher Walken's in it.
And he's in it. He's like, guys better hurry up.
Somewhere in there is Christopher Walken.
Look at those kids.
Look at them go.
I don't remember.
Wedding Crash.
Oh, yeah.
I want to see if he's in that one on your phone.
I'm sure he's been in Amy Adams.
I'm going to never get tired of saying that at the end of every game.
No matter whose name we use.
Oh, they were also in Amy Adams.
And that'll move us on.
Stand up, guys.
Stand up, guys.
Are we done?
Was he ever a voice in anything?
I'm sure he must have, right?
Ants.
And he's in the Country Bears live in the flesh.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck.
Wedding Crash, or somebody said.
That's a good one.
He's been in so many bad movies, but it doesn't hurt his reputation at all.
You know what I mean?
He's like one of those guys that like.
The Prophecy.
Yeah.
Brainstorm.
All right.
Gigli.
You guys are going to wake up tomorrow morning and think of one.
Or just exhaust you. Just stare at IMDB for a few minutes.
Because it's a long-ass list, and thanks for your help, but no more submissions.
Because now when we play the Leonard Maltin game, we don't want anything to be misconstrued.
We're going to start with Jay gets to pick the category,
and then it's going to come at you, Kevin,
and then to Dan, and then to Doogie.
I, of course, do not play,
and I feel shame on that Christopher Walken game.
I'm going to have to redeem myself soon.
How much better would that movie have been
if there had been 12 heads in the bag, though?
It's just, it increases the stakes.
It's escalating action.
It's just...
Whatever.
Eight heads, you're like...
Yeah, I don't know.
I just think if people aren't interested in eight heads,
I don't know what adding more heads really does.
It's an even dozen.
It's all sorts of interesting associations.
Who could really say that maybe people would be intrigued by three or four heads in a duffel bag?
It seems more plausible.
I bet when the screenplay started with one and they're like, nah, nah, nah, and it went through seven rewrites.
I'm sure it just started off, it was originally called the bowling ball.
And then it turned into a head.
All right, you guys, let's play the letter ball game.
Starting with Big J gets the big category between the following.
Someone named Gregory Pex on Twitter, P-E-C-S, suggested Box of Chocolate. And that is, this category
is any movie
ever made
at all time.
It could be any movie.
It could be any movie at all.
And it's called Box of Chocolate
because you never know what you're going to get.
It's well thought out.
Yeah.
Someone called Aon Movies
on Twitter suggested 50 Shades of
Grape, and
that's movies where Johnny Depp has
sex.
And G.
Johnson Jr.
suggested
Nationwide is by your side.
And that's movies where a kid dies.
Which one of those?
I have a feeling.
I'll be honest.
I have a feeling I know which one you want to play.
Yeah, until you read that last one,
I was going to jump in.
There's been a real thing of Johnny Depp tonight,
but it's got to be the dead kid thing, man.
Okay.
I'm a people pleaser.
All right. This movie's from 1991. Leonard gives a people pleaser. Alright.
This movie's from 1991.
Leonard gives it two and a half stars.
A kid dies in it.
Leonard says the kid who died wasn't in the sequel.
And... He calls it likable and bittersweet.
And he lists
seven, eight, nine, ten names.
How many names can you get it in
Big Jay Oakerson?
I want to just guess now.
Well, then just say zero names.
Like you just think you know it.
I don't want to do it just in case.
I'll say
four names. he wants four names
that's interesting uh bid especially after announcing that you know it i didn't so we
have a good guess okay so kevin well if you think you can do it in less uh if i say no then i'm jay
seems very confident i wouldn't want to go up against that if i were you i'm gonna i'm gonna
defer to a big uh jay yes what does that. I'm going to defer to Big J.
What does that mean? You want him to name it?
You're saying if I say...
You want to challenge him?
Or you could say three names
and then move down to Dan.
Dan could challenge you or name it.
I'm going to challenge.
You're going to say name that movie.
You get the four names. He thinks he already might know
without the names, but I'll give them to him anyway. You would have done it in two names. It's just fun to give name that movie. So you get the four names. He thinks he already might know without the names. But I'll give them to him anyway.
So you would have done it in two names.
It's just fun to give you the names.
Ray Buktenica was in this.
Buktenica.
Yeah, that's how you pronounce it. Tom Villard.
He's left us.
Oh, there's one person.
Peter Michael Goetz.
And... Yep. And Ann Goetz. And, uh, yep.
And, uh, and Ann Nelson.
So, yeah, so maybe not the most revealing names,
but you think you have a feel for movies where a kid dies.
I did jump the gun, but I had a feeling.
What do you think it's called?
My Girl?
That's correct.
That's what I thought it was.
Wow.
I got that off 1991 Kid Dies.
No.
Yeah, those names were no help, you know.
They were no help.
We're going to get anywhere near Jamie Lee Curtis and Dan Aykroyd and Anna Klumski and Macaulay Culkin.
We were deep down on that list, so good job.
So that gives your one point away from winning now.
You're halfway home.
Yeah, Jay's got a point.
Show's going to run long.
Apologies to nobody.
Well, I mean, I don't want to keep the folks,
nice folks at the Grammar Sheet Theater.
I don't want to keep them here all night,
but I believe the bar's still open.
The bar's still open, you guys.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
The facehugger is on the move!
I didn't touch that, you guys!
That's how paranormal activity starts, dude.
The chair, then all of your crocheted goods.
Nationwide is by your side.
I just love singing that.
Now it's a dead category
because I can't,
that's the only one
I could think of.
I'm sure there's other movies
where kids die.
Yeah, Lovely Bones.
Sixth Sense, yeah,
he's dead the whole time, right?
Do you see,
you don't see him die
in Sixth Sense.
The kid's alive.
Bruce Willis is a kid at heart.
Oh, rabbit hole.
No more, audience.
I need you to leave so we can finish this show.
What about Juno?
Does she go through with it?
Oh yeah, she dies during childbirth.
The kid dies too.
And then Michael Cera jogs in, pops a tic-tac and laughs.
I love that movie the first time I saw it,
but everybody seems to not like it so much.
I bought the soundtrack.
I was so under its spell.
And then two weeks later, I was like,
what the fuck was I thinking?
Kimmy Dawson.
I have a hamburger phone in every room of my house.
Can you imagine that's your takeaway from that movie?
I gotta get a hamburger phone.
Oh, shit. Mine are edible hamburger phone. Oh, shit.
Mine are edible, though.
Oh, they're real hamburgers.
Yeah, yeah, so I don't really have them anymore.
And they were just hamburgers.
Mice took them.
They turned from a hamburger phone into a mouse phone.
I just went out and bought some hamburgers and talked to them
until I got tired of it.
And then I ate them.
Who challenged who that last round? I challenged him. I ate him. Who challenged who that last round?
I challenged him.
I challenged him.
Okay.
But I don't lose points for that.
Hang on, buddy.
All right.
So we're going to start with Doogie and then go to Dan.
And Doogie gets to pick between...
W-H-A-R Garbler, War garbler suggested
first name basis.
And this is an interesting round of this game
where whatever the movie is,
when we go to the listing the names
part, nobody's going to pick this.
I only list the first names
of everybody. So this is a good
category for people who think the game's too easy.
Yeah, maybe.
Steve, Tom, Pete,
Jessica. Oh!
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.
Yeah. You could put it together, maybe,
based on some names. But, no.
And then there's also
420B Baker Street
suggested
Dear White People.
And that is movies that have Betty,
Jack, or Mike White in them.
And not a combination of any of those.
They're all separate.
And your third one is
Hoi Ploy 19.
He's Just Not That Into Hugh.
Hugh Grant movies that Leonard gave
two stars or less.
It's a crowd pleaser.
I guess I'll go with that he's not that into Hugh
okay
you guys are going along with what the crowd wants
but they were just expressing
that they think that's a fun category
two people were like
they won't feel that bad if you don't
pick it but let's play it anyway
two stars
from Leonard for this movie from 1996.
Bless you.
He says about this movie,
he says,
Hugh Grant has one of the best parts.
That's really a great compliment
for a movie that Hugh Grant is in
the director has a cameo in the movie
and did I tell you the year already?
96
yeah okay that's all you need to know
and there are nine names listed
by Mr. Maltin
how many can you get it in?
Dan you're up next.
I guess I'll go nine.
He says nine names, Dan.
I watch Supporting Characters on Netflix.
Is it still on there?
It is, yeah.
You tweeted in your,
what is it, how many days are you watching?
100 days or something?
I'm trying to watch 365 movies
in 365 days.
That was very nice.
And I'm up to movie number 41 and we're over 60 days into the year, so I'm a little behind.
But I'm going to some film festivals.
That's very nice of you to tweet me.
How many?
Well, I like the movie a lot.
Thank you, man.
I'll take eight.
It stars Alex Karpovsky, who is Ray on Girls, one of my favorite parts of Girls.
Mine, too.
It's like he got his own long episode
where he's a film editor.
That's another thing that's fun about the movie is you watch
sort of how film editing is done,
especially by how a team of
editors would work. Yeah, thank you.
Alright, supporting characters.
Check it out. I'm going to do eight, the next step
down. Also, there's like a bare
tit like two seconds into the movie.
It pays off immediately.
And Kevin Corrigan right away,
who's a great character actor
and awesome in it as well.
Okay, what'd you say? Eight?
Yeah, he was nine and now I'm doing eight.
He's doing eight. Kevin?
I guess we'll do seven.
That is an exciting round.
Well, because no one is positive about the 96 hue.
All right, seven.
Yeah, he says seven, not 97.
Jay, I'll do five.
He says five, Doogie.
Whoa, upping the ante.
I guess I'll do four.
Oh, four.
He looks like he's
playing me.
He's like, I don't think I'll get it, but I'll do it
in four.
Shit.
Poker face, poker face.
Okay, good luck.
Do you think he looks like he's playing you, or he just looks like
you're looking in a mirror mirror but with a beard on?
How would I look with a beard?
Doogie, will you stare at me for a moment?
More lovingly.
He says four.
Right?
Yes.
He said four names. I said name Yes. He said four names.
I said name it.
I said four name.
Oh, wait.
What did you tell me to name it?
I said go ahead.
Good luck to you, sir.
What happened?
He said four.
He challenged him.
He's challenging me.
Oh, that's the direction it was going?
Okay.
Were you supposed to say, I challenge you?
Yeah, something like that.
Instead, he went... Yeah, something like that. Instead he was just, he went.
Yeah, say name that movie.
Say name that movie.
Name that movie.
Wait, so is my answer not officially?
No, it is.
Name that movie.
Go ahead.
Okay, thank you for pulling by the rules.
You get four names?
Pulling teeth.
J.K. Simmons is in this movie.
Got it already.
I love the scene where.
Wait, wait, wait. I won't say what Hugh Grant's doing in this movie. Got it already. I love the scene where... I won't say what
Hugh Grant's doing in the scene, but
J.K. Simmons walks in and goes...
I know. It's so great.
And he was like...
I just did the thing he did.
We all know the movie's not Whiplash.
The answer is not Whiplash.
That's Miles Teller, not Hugh Grant.
Although that would be an interesting variation on that movie.
Deborah Monk, Paul Guilfoyle, and John...
Tolles Bay.
T-O-L-E-S dash B-E-Y. Tolles Bay. John Tolles Bay. T-O-L-E-S dash B-E-Y.
Tolls Bay.
So yeah, your only hope here is to just name a Hugh Grant motion picture from around that time.
A lot of people with funny names.
And it was 96.
That Leonard didn't care for.
Two stars.
Fudge.
Who challenged you?
I did.
Okay, so it's going to be a point for Dan.
Smooth-faced doppelganger.
Four weddings and a funeral?
Nope.
Can I guess?
He's in that, though.
Do you have a guess, Dan?
Just for fun.
Sure.
Nine months?
No.
No, it's not nine months.
It's going to be a tough one for anybody to come up with.
I want to see if Big Jay knows.
I would have said nine months.
It was co-starred, the second and third names are Gene Hackman and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh, yeah.
It's like the drama.
It's called Extreme Measures.
Wow.
Do not remember that one.
And I guess Hugh Grant had the best character because was he kind of the bad guy in it or
was Gene Hackman the bad guy?
Gene Hackman.
Gene Hackman was better. Geez. How can you was Gene Hackman the bad guy? Gene Hackman.
How can you beat Gene Hackman?
He must have done a really good job.
Seriously.
You got a point.
Did you do a better job than Gene Hackman?
Dan's got a point, everybody.
Here we go.
You got two points now.
Anybody can win.
What happened?
Me and Dan both have two points. You get two. If he gets another point Anybody can win. What happened? All you gotta do is get two.
If he gets another point, I win.
You have one.
You're in good shape.
Don't we both have two?
I thought we both have two.
Two points.
Those early games are nonsense.
This is the real game.
I tried to tell you.
You guys both have two points,
but you have to play to three and the other two guys have to play to two.
Good luck.
However you want to slice it.
And so since in the last round Dan challenged Doogie, that means we'll start with Jay and
then head towards Dan.
And Jay gets to pick a category. Between
these options,
BDM6985.
Another catchy one. Just throw your license
plate on there.
Suggested
Raging Bull.
And that, of course, I think we
played this one on a show recently. I think we
played it on a show that none of you guys were at
so I'm going to play it
it's a movie where De Niro smokes marijuana
yeah
or Gilson 2 suggested
droid rage
and that's movies that have fighting robots
in them
and Sebastian Nebel suggested
Go Bananas
and that's any movie that has apes in the title.
But here's the tricky thing about apes.
Is Grand Budapest Hotel would count.
It's like eating Gilbert Grapes.
Ape or apes.
Yeah.
Ape or apes. Budapest has the word. You can't grapes. Ape or apes. Yeah. Ape or apes.
Budapest has the word.
You can't spell Budapest without apes.
Oh, wow.
Their new country slogan.
They need a new one.
Yeah.
Well, the current one is you can't spell Budapest without bud,
and it doesn't make sense sense even. It's just like
okay.
I mean you're right but
Which one do you like Jay?
I'll try the Apes.
Okay.
Would you like a movie that has
apes in it from 1940
or 1971?
I'm going to pass on the whole
thing.
Okay. What category would you like instead?
What would you like?
De Niro smokes weed or
or Fighting Robots?
Fighting Robots.
Alright, here we go.
This movie is from 1922.
No, this Fighting robot movie is from 2011 2011
three stars from Leonard
he says this movie
actually takes place in the near future
yeah and he says
it's loosely based on a story that was
adapted for a TV thing
he's more specific.
And...
He also calls it surprisingly effective.
Three stars, surprisingly effective.
And he lists eight names.
How many names, Jay?
Four.
Did you say Thor?
Thor.
Four.
Kevin.
Oh, 2000.
I would have done better with a 1971 ape movie, I think, than robots.
Four?
It just has the letters that spell apes in the title.
It's not an ape movie.
Well, no, I know.
I was short.
Just being clear.
I was shorthanding what you were saying. I feel not an ape movie. Well, no, I know. I was short. Just being clear. I was shorthanding
what you were saying.
I feel like you know it, so if I go three,
you got very excited. I'm not sure if we're doing the
ape one or the other one. We're doing the other one.
Robots. Fighting robots. We're doing
robot movies with apes in the title.
Take it down for the win.
Four, go ahead.
Oh, you're going to let it have the win. Well, that's
actually good time-wise because I think we've gone long.
I've got to wrap it up.
We've got to go see Chappie.
Fuck out of here.
So how many names does he get?
Four.
Four names.
Okay, here's your four names
for this robot movie from 2011,
three stars from Leonard's,
based on a thing and another thing.
And what was the other thing I said effective
surprisingly effective
yeah
I didn't want to accidentally give an extra clue
after the bidding had closed
and your four names are
Carl Yoon
James
oh the late James Rebhorn he just died recently Carl Yoon, James...
Oh, the late James Rebhorn, he just died recently.
Yeah, great actor.
Hope Davis, still alive.
And Kevin Durand are all in a movie with Fighting Robots from 2011.
What do you got, Jay, for the win?
Real Steel? That's correct. What do you got, Jay, for the win? Real Steel?
That's correct.
You are good.
You know your shit.
Thank you, brother.
Where's I Am Paul?
Come get your prize bag.
Congratulations, Paul.
Oh, he's right there.
Hey, it's Paul.
I know this guy.
He always used to bring a Spuds McKenzie doll.
And did anybody ever pick it?
Yeah, it got picked eventually.
So then he switched over to other things.
And this I am Paul thing is brand new and exciting.
And you won.
Do you want your group back or does he get to keep it?
I'll take it if he doesn't want it.
He'll take it if you don't want it.
That's a very passive way to say he wants it back.
I just, you know, when you're a lonely man,
you got to like anything that dances just because you're speaking.
Look at him go.
I'm a lollipop, I'm a lollipop.
Don't lick me.
All right.
So what do you think?
Like maybe Paul's going to use his mind to get that back?
Oh.
Or.
All right.
Yeah.
Paul, you realize you're taking that away from Jay's 12-year-old daughter.
The show's so physical.
I guess.
But Paul, if it's cool, can I get the.
Sorry, Jay.
I didn't mean to put you to work.
But. Paul, can I get my shampoo Sorry, Jay, I didn't mean to put you to work, but...
Paul, can I get my shampoo back?
Is that cool? Conditioner?
Yeah, you don't need it.
He's bald. He's bald, everybody.
He's bald.
It's another great gag for the homeless nurse.
Now, can I ask you, is there some...
I'm 2-0 now. I've only been on the show twice,
and I'm 2-0.
You're doing great, buddy.
You're great great, buddy.
You're great at it.
Do you guys keep records?
Dang.
Yeah, there's a page on the internet that some guy put together.
I think there's more than one where they just do all the stats.
Yeah, and you're probably way up there.
So congratulations.
Thank you.
I take every honor with pride.
Is there a shithead on the back of your name tag, Dan Schechter?
Yeah.
Okay, pass that down here.
Do you have one on the back of yours, Kevin?
No, I didn't have a name tag.
Oh, I've got it.
There's no shithead on here, though, because it's all macrame.
Oh, it is on the tag. Very nice.
And you're holding it.
Oh, I don't know what that means.
Oh, that's rude.
Come on.
I'm going to hang this over my bed like a dreamcatcher.
It's like a dreamcatcher that's a very limited amount of,
you can only get so much through there.
What?
Okay, yeah, I agree.
So Dan's going to work on a new movie.
Watch supporting characters on Netflix.
Life of Crime is on wherever you see VOD.
Good job, Dan. Thanks for being here.
Thank you. Kevin,
look for him in an upcoming episode
of...
Jewish. Blacklist.
Blacklist. Blacklist.
Blacklistish.
And what else you got going on?
What do I have?
Well, I just did a movie called The Trust.
The Nick Cage, Elijah Wood.
It's coming out, I think, in the fall.
So check that out.
And he was just awesome in Better Call Saul.
I don't know if anybody saw his scene,
but it was like two episodes ago.
Nick Cage was on Better Call Saul?
Yeah.
I was in the fourth episode, yes, of Better Call Saul.
It was a lot of fun working with Bob Odenkirk.
I'll brag about it for you.
It was awesome.
That's neat.
Thank you.
I would have been excited to discover that on my own,
but it's still nice to hear.
I'm way behind.
That's why I didn't say it.
I don't spoil it.
I'm way behind on Better Call Saul.
I haven't even started watching it.
You better call him.
Like, from the beginning.
It's good stuff. But I'm 40 minutes into The Last Man on Earth, so I'm proud of Saul. I haven't even started watching it. You better call him. Like from the beginning. It's good stuff.
But I'm 40 minutes into The Last Man on Earth, so I'm proud of that.
Oh.
I want to see that.
I just want to watch all this stuff, but, you know, got to do other stuff, too.
Got to, you know, got to go sit on a porch and smoke weed.
Jay, what do you got coming up, buddy?
Just in the road a bunch.
I'm on, you know, big bigjcomedy.com is my website
and just run around. I'll be in LA
in early May
Oh right on. We'll try to work something out
we'll do one of these things out there
I'll come see you
Doogie Horner what's up buddy?
I got nothing coming up because I'm getting bank surgery tomorrow
but you can check out
thank you
I think your bangs
look just fine.
I can't say the word
back. I can't say the word
cat.
I also have difficulty saying my last name.
Anyways, you can check out my books.
Say Horner.
Horner. That was easy.
Well, because I was trying hard because I didn't
want us to look like an idiot.
But sometimes when I say it,
instead it sounds like blueberry.
No, I don't really.
Just people are like, what?
Hambone?
But you can check out my books,
Everything Explained Through Flowcharts
and 100 Ghosts.
Thank you for having me on the show.
Thank you.
And all my stuff's at douglasmovies.com
thanks for coming, thanks for staying late
we did a long one
and I'll be back on April 27th
and you can, you know, you know all that stuff
I don't need to say that again
and as always
let me say all the names of my guests
one more time, Dan Schechter, Kevin Wiseman
Big Jay Oakerson's got
another thing to say.
Yeah, I'm an idiot. I should plug...
I have no self-promotion. My other podcast,
Legion of Skanks and SDR Show.
If you could check those out. Oh, yeah, yeah. We forgot to mention
your two other podcasts.
Sorry. Doogie, your podcast is called?
At Doogie...
I don't have one. I'm on Twitter.
At Doogie Horner.
I so want you to make up a fake podcast
and have people start searching for it
and you don't have a podcast at all.
Sweaters for tough guys that don't mind talking about it
and they got dogs full of beans.
Wow, and you co-host that with Fiona Apple?
Yes.
She likes the long titles.
She hates me.
It's just us arguing the whole time.
It's a really good podcast.
Thank you, Gramercy Theater.
And as always, Dave Cameo is a shithead.
Some shit's real inside.
Star-Lord is a shithead.
Come on.
Star-Lord?
Star-Lord.
Weird shithead.
Star-Lord. But thank God! Weird shithead. Star-Lord!
But thank God the facehugger came along.
Knocked it out of the park.
People who eat egg sandwiches on the subway are shitheads.
Finally, someone has the courage to say it.
Watch another talkie.
Kaisa Gold is viewing prowess. Makes it cocky. There's no room in his heart. Finally, someone has the courage to say it.