Doug Loves Movies - Big Jay Oakerson, Mike Birbiglia, Pat Kiernan, and Jesse Pasternack Guest
Episode Date: November 30, 2014Live from the Gramercy Theater in New York City, Doug welcomes Big Jay Oakerson, Mike Birbiglia, Pat Kiernan, and Jesse Pasternack to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Is anybody not here because they thought the show started at 9?
I mean are there any empty seats up there?
Couple? Oh shit
What you call it? The beautiful Gramercy Theatre
I love this place but whoever runs their Twitter
put out a thing today that said,
doors at 8, show at 9.
Oh, that was my reaction.
And I found that, I found it out like seven hours after it happened, so it's kind of a bummer.
What's that flashlight that's pointing at me?
What are you doing over, yeah, don't look over your shoulder, that thing. It looks, it's so bright. What's that flashlight that's pointing at me? What are you doing over there? Yeah, don't look over your shoulder.
That thing.
That is so bright. What does it do?
Is it like, were you videotaping me?
That thing was such a big bright light.
It was like a fucking, you were like a little train
coming at me.
Shoo, shoo.
Instead of choo-choo.
But yeah, please don't videotape the show
especially with a bright light like that
why don't you just use a subtler
situation
that's what sucks about
iPhones when people are filming you
with iPhones you can't even tell
because it doesn't have a light on it or anything
great story Doug
my name is Doug and this is Doug Loves Movies or anything. Great story, Doug.
My name is Doug, and this is Doug Loves Movies.
I beat you to it.
Coming to you once
again from the Gramercy Theater in New York City
where there's no H
on the marquee outside
so it says Douglas Movies
to niggit.
To niggit.
To niggit.
That was better.
Now he just took a picture with that
crazy flashlight.
Like every security guard
should be high I think because you really fucking are interested in finding things.
You're always looking, like, put a It's Waldo, It's Waldo.
Put a Where the Fuck is Waldo book in front of me.
I nail it. I don't nail it. I'm terrible at it.
Did I say we're in New York City?
Ari Shaffir thinks that the weed here is bad.
He's out of his mind.
Tomorrow night's 12 Guests of Christmas
here in New York City is sold out.
Yeah.
So we added this show.
Yeah.
And it's sold out too. Yeah. And it sold out too.
So thank you for that, you guys.
I know that you're disappointed
about not seeing the 12 guests of Christmas,
but I got four great guests
of the night before the 12 guests of Christmas.
This is the nightmare before the 12.
Oh, shit, I got to call it that
if we do it again next year.
The nightmare before the 12 guests of
Christmas. And I'm also very
excited because out in LA
on December
I want to say
9? Yes, 9.
We're going to do
a special Hanukkah episode.
But here's the only reason it's called the Hanukkah episode
Is because I want us to call it
The 8 Crazy Guests of Doug Loves Movies
And we're going to have
8 of the most fucked up crazy guests
That have ever been on the show
And maybe a couple new ones
Because it's going to be 8
And it's only going to be 45 minutes long
So wish me luck
Yeah, Doug Loves Movies And it's only going to be 45 minutes long, so wish me luck.
Yeah, and Doug loves movies.
That's what I, you just heard what I normally do in my head when I'm doing a podcast.
I constantly remind myself which one it is.
I was about, if I didn't say Doug loves movies in my head, I'd be like, alright, let's bring out the next course.
Little plug for Dining with Doug and Karen.
Let me see those name tags, you guys.
That's what I was trying to say.
Oh, a lot of good ones.
They tend to be in the front or
in the balcony.
And the middle section
is just fine.
They didn't work on a name tag. They didn't get here too early.
They didn't get here late.
We go medium style.
And that's cool.
Lots of good ones. Dread hates
movies. It's like a little
Judge Dredd helmet.
Oh my god, there's a naked dude
right up front.
What the hell is that? Broadway Bears?
Yeah.
Winter Burlesque?
Hell yeah. Wow. And right next to it What the hell is that? Broadway bears? Yeah. Winter burlesque?
Hell yeah.
Wow, and right next to it you got a koala bear.
This is really, uh, this is gonna haunt me tonight.
Dean Girls is a Mean Girls poster where my face is instead of Lindsay Lohan's.
And the way she's headed is probably not a bad trade-off.
Oh, and my face on the Willy Wonka, the Johnny Depp version,
that really makes me sad as well.
But good job.
It's Charlie?
Charlie?
That's your name, Charlie?
Your name's Hallie?
So you went Charlie in the chocolate factory?
All right, good for you.
Well, a lot of great ones out there,
so good luck getting picked, you guys.
And I think I've got some people that are going to come out here and pick wisely.
It's not going to be a lot of stupid,
somebody wrote their name on a napkin.
Comedians do that.
I yell at them after the show.
This Thursday, I'm leaving sunny, warm New York
to go to freezing Jacksonville, Florida.
So that's going to be an adjustment.
I'm doing a stand-up show at the Comedy Club.
That's what it's called, the Comedy Club.
And, uh...
I mean, it makes perfect sense,
but, like, of Jacksonville or something.
Just the Comedy club is really
generic.
And next Sunday, Douglas Movies comes to
Portland, Oregon at Helium Comedy Club
at 420. From the corrections department,
on last Tuesday's show,
Leonard Maltin said Kristen Dunst
when he met Kristen Stewart,
but we all knew
that, so who cares?
That one wasn't, that that was like nobody even stopped to go why did you say that that other actress was you know everybody knew what he meant or or wasn't even
paying attention the prize bag includes and I fucked up and didn't I always get here and there's
always a lot of things to take care of tech wise and uh i forgot to mention that we need those uh two tickets for tomorrow night's show are going in the prize bag yeah you
brought a poster of a naked man so good luck the most disappointed guy's got a picture of a dude
with a scarf around his neck and that scarf is about to go somewhere.
Just away, probably.
I didn't mean anything too dirty by it. So yeah, so we'll get two tickets
to the person who wins tonight for
tomorrow night's 12 Guests of Christmas
first ever East Coast edition.
In the prize bag tonight we have
I saw the curious incident of the
dog in the nighttime and I
had a nice vodka soda,
so there's the souvenir sippy cup from that.
I'm so generous with the gifts. It's crazy.
Somebody somewhere gave me finger cuffs.
Remember finger cuffs?
Somebody gave me those, and I'm like,
I know how those work. I can pay that forward.
We got some cool DVDs and stuff that people brought.
I brought a copy of Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun.
I also brought some sort of lubricant that's supposedly marijuana-infused or something.
It's called Highgasm.
And I brought two flavors.
I brought regular and venti.
No, uh...
Blowberry. Blowberry.
Blowberry.
Yeah.
So.
Now you're not so
disappointed about not winning the prize bag, are you?
Changed once you
know it was in there. Oh, and somebody else brought,
this is very cool, somebody brought a copy
of Taylor Swift's new album, 1989.
Yeah. That's going in the bag.
And we'll tell you about everything else that's in the bag
when we get these four gentlemen
out here. Please give a big, warm
welcome to Jesse Pasternak,
Pat Kiernan, Big Jay Oakerson,
and Mike Verbiglia.
Yeah!
Hey! I love these guys.
Well, that was the first to speak.
Winner of the Pete Holmes Award is our friend Mike Birbiglia, everybody.
Thanks.
The man behind the motion picture sleepwalk with me, if you haven't seen it yet.
Thanks.
On Netflix.
By all means, do it up on Netflix.
Netflix has got a lot of great stuff on there. I saw a special called
Doug Dynasty. I enjoyed it a great deal.
And
what's going on? Are you, so
filmmaking-wise, do you have
another project that you're
getting into or have done? I do.
I've been doing some readings of a new
script I wrote at my house for the last, like, six months or so,
and I'm going to shoot it in 2015.
No, for real.
People are laughing.
And actually, that's, yeah.
There's just one weird guy or girl over there.
He's kind of like...
They make small movies, and they have small beginnings.
He wrote a movie in his house.
Tis the season, I guess.
One more day.
One more day.
So I'm working on that.
And then I'm on tour.
I'm on a 100-city tour this year, like Katy Perry.
Oh.
And I'm going next week, or this weekend, I'm going to nine cities in California.
Wow.
Nine cities.
And then Seattle for New Year's.
Bakersfield?
No.
Fresno?
No.
I could do this all night.
I bet one of your favorites, you do Humboldt County.
Chino?
Yeah, Humboldt County's good.
Yeah.
So you're going to Sacramento, San Francisco, San Diego, LA. Yeah, exactly.
Davis, LA.
Irvine.
San Diego. No. Ontario. exactly. Davis, LA. Irvine. San Diego, no.
Ontario.
Santa Rosa.
John Wayne Airport.
Well, that's great.
So go to mikeberbiglia.com to get the tour dates.
Why not, yeah.
Why not, you guys?
Yeah.
Why not?
Give him a whirl.
He's good stuff.
Nice.
Glad to be here.
A lot of great movies.
A lot to talk about. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We've got plenty to talk about. I to be here. A lot of great movies. A lot to talk about.
Yeah, oh yeah, we got plenty to talk about.
I'm very excited.
Because tomorrow night's going to be all gameplay, you guys.
So we're going to get the movie chatter out of our system tonight.
With a first-time guest on the show, I don't know why it's taking this long,
Big Jay Oakerson is here, you guys.
Thank you, buddy.
I'm happy to be here.
Big movie buff?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, you know what's funny?
I've weirdly missed some of the greats,
but I see a ton of movies,
so I have a pretty good movie knowledge.
What's an example of a great movie you haven't seen?
I've never seen, like, Citizen Kane.
I can't take the time.
Oh, right, that's fine. I mean... Oh, you know what's funny? I've never seen Citizen Kane. I can't take the time. Oh, right. That's fine.
I mean, once you're watching Citizen Kane, there's some awesome things about it, but
it's not missing that much.
I'll give you the big one that makes people furious, and I've tried to watch it a few
times.
I just couldn't give a shit, is The Fucking Godfather.
Just don't care.
Just don't care.
I watched The Stupid Wedding 15 times, and I go, I don't care. Just don't care. I watched The Stupid Wedding
15 times and I go, I don't give a shit.
I don't care what happens to any of these stupid people.
Are you sure you're not watching The Deer Hunter?
Because that wedding's hard to get through.
I understand that, but also you might want to skip to Godfather 2.
Just go right?
It's a better movie.
Especially if you love reading.
You don't miss a lot.
You don't miss a lot, actually. It's a great movie. Yeah if you love reading. You don't miss a lot. You don't miss a lot, actually.
It's a great movie.
Yeah, I've never,
for some reason,
I just never,
but you know,
I know every,
I can fucking mouth the words
to Roadhouse.
I don't, you know,
I'm fine with everything
you've said so far.
I think you're the kind
of film buff
that I like to have
on this show.
Yeah.
Citizen Kane will not come up again.
Thanks.
I can't mention again.
But what will get mentioned is you have a motion picture credit on your IMDb page.
You're in a movie called The Other Worlds.
From Other Worlds, yeah.
From Other Worlds.
I'm in one scene in a straight-to-DVD shitty sci-fi movie.
And it was a bit of a stretch.
You played Big Jay in it.
Yeah, no, I played Big Lab Assistant.
That's the title of the character.
Do you want to hear something hilarious?
This is true.
It came out eventually in one theater in New York
on 12th Street.
And in my mind, that was the theater
on like 11th,
which is not a big theater. I was even
kind of like, oh, it's a small theater, but
the Cinema Village, but it wasn't
that theater. It was around the corner,
essentially in someone's house
who has a movie theater.
And they had a poster
out front, and I went and watched the movie,
and there was postcards of the movie poster
by the concession stand.
I go, oh, can I take a few of these?
And the chick was like, take all of them.
So I took all of them.
I went to go see it with my girlfriend at the time,
and we're watching the movie,
and my scenes come on.
And by the way, there is literally
nobody in the theater.
And when I'm on the screen,
she starts taking a picture
of the screen
and I go,
don't do that.
And she goes,
what are you,
there's nobody fucking here.
And then she was trying
to take a picture
of my name in the credits
literally while a janitor
was like mopping the fucking...
Did she get in the shot?
Yeah.
Did he go, isn't that big lab assistant?
And then when it was over, I was walking out, I go,
do you guys have an extra movie poster?
And they go, you could just take the one, man.
And they gave me the movie poster from the marquee.
The only thing they didn't give me was
the fucking movie, which I don't know if is available
anywhere in the world.
Other than head to head. That is serious rock bottom.
I've never
been in a movie since Surprise Surprise.
Your agent
should be telling that story on the phone
every day.
Untapped talent.
Jesse Pasternak is here, you guys.
Thank you.
You might not know the face,
but you probably recognize the name and the age.
He's not our youngest guest ever,
but at 18 years old, he came out to the...
We were both at the Traverse City Film Festival
and I invited him to come on the show
and what do you call yourself?
Film scholar?
Film scholar, film expert,
whatever works.
Oh shit, are you guys shivering
in your boots now?
I mean this is a fucking tough
panel you're going up for the first time, Jay.
You got a filmmaker, a film expert, and a newsman who hosted a national trivia challenge.
So good fucking luck.
Pat Kiernan is here, everybody.
Can I just point out one thing?
If there is a remake to Real Genius,
we have Mitch sitting right here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's true.
Pat.
Doug.
You've been in a bunch of movies as yourself on the news,
because you, of course, do the mornings here on New York One.
It's the only character I play in fact.
But yeah,
Spider-Man, Avengers.
It'll say New York One usually on the screen.
Is that part of the deal?
Get New York One a little push?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You never play a reporter that's not from New York One?
No, no, I refuse to play generic reporters.
Because we look at,
we actually read the script and
okay, now, if there were dinosaurs
walking on Central Park West, how would
New York One cover that?
And it's only
if I can pass that test
of realism. So I'm prepared to
suspend my disbelief for the
plot point, but then within that
set of circumstances,
I want to know how we would cover that.
So you're like the dark knight of news
pieces then? You just focus on how this would look
in a real world and try to make it as...
take all the comic book out? I'm really all about the
entertainment. By the way, if they
ever do a remake of Real Genius, he
could be the professor.
Doug,
you didn't tell me when you booked
me for tonight that this is Grey Cup night in Canada.
This is the Super Bowl of Canada, and I'm here.
I can't believe I did that to you.
Or to Canada.
Can they do it without your support?
I was supposed to be in front of my TV
on whatever ESPN channel this is relegated to.
Well, I apologize for that.
I did give you the option of coming in tomorrow night
on the 12 Guests of Christmas,
and I think your reaction to that was like,
I need more mic time than that.
I'm not going to be on with 12 people.
I've got to read everybody what happened in the papers today.
That's my favorite.
Pat does a thing, for those that are listening
that aren't New Yorkers,
he does a New York one, Pat's Papers,
where he reads
stuff from the local papers.
For people who don't know how to read.
Sure, well, I'm sure the blind
love it, I'm sure, but also
the people
that are busy running around in their kitchen
doing stuff, whipping up some eggs.
Every few days there's somebody... Oh, this up some eggs. Every few days there's somebody...
Oh, this shit went down.
Every few days there's somebody who sees it
for the first time and then tweets me,
are you serious? Did you run into news?
But then they get addicted to it.
Are you really reading us the paper?
Yeah, I am, and you're going to love it.
Wait, I don't read you the ads
in the paper or anything like that
that'd be weird
how long have you been doing that for?
the papers thing?
what are you going to do?
I have been the morning anchor for 17 years
wow
I know no other existence
than my 3am alarm clock
well thank you for staying up late
with us tonight but how late would the
game in Canada go?
it's half time right now 17-7
the Calgary Stampeders over the Hamilton Tiger Cats
do you uh
do you need to
now so it's true you just know all the news all the time why do you need to... Now, so it's true, you just know all the news all the time.
Why do you need to read from the papers?
You know what's going on.
Those could just be made-up names entirely.
I would go, okay, sure.
Currently in New York City, 53 degrees.
Tomorrow, sunny with a high of 47.
Thank you.
Oh, my God, it is him.
That's not high enough for tomorrow.
Because I found today quite pleasant.
I didn't even have to put on my puffy coat.
Today was nice.
Yeah, it was real nice.
Good job, New York.
And I like your Traverse City t-shirt, too.
Yeah, I've got the Traverse City, Michigan t-shirt on.
It says 10 because it was the 10th one that they did this last year.
But I like wearing a shirt that says 10 on it
because when people say, you know,
why does it say 10 on your shirt?
I say, because I'm perfect.
And I give that same creepy look
and it never gets me anywhere.
But you have a hoodie on
from the same film festival there, Jesse.
So we're both represented and I feel really good about it.
Thanks. I'm glad we matched.
I'm not crazy about matching with you.
People might draw some weird conclusions from that.
I could have an 18-year-old I don't know about.
So Pat Kiernan,
I was asking you earlier about which movies you've been in.
Just to ramp up to this, you're in Blanny?
I am in the new I was asking you earlier about which movies you've been in, just to ramp up to this. You're in Blanny? What? Black Annie.
I am in the new...
I'm in Black Annie, too.
There's already a sequel?
Yeah, yeah.
I am in the new Annie movie.
I am, too.
Mike Rubiglia, let's start with you, because we know what Pat plays in it.
No, I play Pat.
Oh, shit. What do Pat plays in it. No, I play Pat.
Oh, shit.
What do you play in Blanny?
I play the titular part.
I play Blanny.
No, I play an inspector who comes over to the orphanage, and Cameronz flirts with me and it's real silly and goofy.
It was fun. It was a good time.
And then you bust into it.
It's a hard knock life for me.
Sorry, the whole family knows.
Jesse was in.
Did you like the original Annie?
Anybody on this panel?
I love it.
I like the stage show, but I'm not crazy about the...
You saw the stage show?
Yeah.
Who said it?
What are you, theater parents?
Where the fuck did you see the stage show?
I've seen a lot of theater.
This is...
My wife and I revisited the original recently, and the funny thing about it is that Roosevelt's
in it.
Do you guys...
Do you guys seriously?
Yeah. Do you guys seriously? There's a scene with FDR where Annie convinces FDR
that he should...
Create the new deal?
Create the new deal,
and she proves it by singing
The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's a deal for us.
We need...
I don't remember that at all.
I just remember a pun jab
making the plane fly with magic.
And an actual wizard living in their home,
but no one really thought that was a big deal.
When you're that rich, bro.
He was performing, and I goes,
oh yeah, I know a guy who knows actual black magic.
That's how rich of a white guy I am.
I have a black guy who can crush me with thoughts.
But somehow I've controlled him
Pat, do you remember what you have to report?
Like what your lines were in Blanny?
Yeah, Jamie Foxx is the new Daddy Warbucks
So in Blanny you announced that?
People suspend your disbelief I was part way through my sentence, Doug.
Jamie Foxx is a new Daddy Warbucks,
and I am quizzing him about his commitment to his political campaign.
Like face-to-face?
One-on-one.
Like in his drawing room or something?
No, on the streets of the city.
Oh, you confront him?
I'm chasing him down the streets.
That's not your style.
If anything, you'd be like,
hey, did you see what was in the papers today?
Well, it's a movie, Doug.
You're like a newsie when you're out in the streets.
For the big story,
if it means talking to Daddy Warbucks.
Did he answer on Battle Raps?
Did Black Daddy Warbucks battle rap you?
When you're chasing him down the street...
He was a very nice man to work with.
But when you're chasing him down the street,
isn't it embarrassing to be yelling,
Daddy, Daddy?
Daddy, I have a question.
That'd be a really weird plot twist, too,
like he's his actual father.
In Blanny, his name's not Daddy.
I'm trying to translate for you.
Oh.
It's Benjamin...
It's Axe or something... It's P. Daddy.
It's P. Daddy.
I just wanted to give that
more moments for laughter.
I've already said too much.
Spoiler alert.
Yeah.
Big J also brought a...
For the prize bag, he brought
What's Your Fucking Deal? A crowd work album Big Jay also brought for the prize bag he brought what's your fucking deal
a crowd work album
that he recorded
and this is just
what do you do with this
Big Jay?
It's a drop card
there's a code
on the back of the card
and you download it
and you download the code
and you get the whole album
and the artwork
and all my thank yous
and everything
or you try to
get into your hotel room with it and that's not going to work
down the front desk
this does not work
it says crowd work right there
Pat Kiernan brought the
aforementioned Taylor Swift album
so thank you for that
and he wrote on the back
I also welcome you to New York
laughter laughter it's priceless And he wrote on the back, I also welcome you to New York.
It was priceless right there. Let me read to you.
I'd imagine some people that work all night, when you read the papers, it's like a bedtime story.
They come home and throw it on.
It could very well be.
Maybe I should read them yesterday's papers for that, though.
Oh, yeah.
I should read them yesterday's papers for that though Oh yeah
Mike Verbiglio brought a treasure trove
of items
he brought Sleepwalk With Me
and one of his comedy specials
My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
which was a one man show
filmed in Seattle
and then as an extra little bonus
a copy of the great concert film
Stop Making Sense.
One of the greats.
If people haven't seen that,
it's really one of the great films.
It's a really good movie.
Yeah, Doug Diggs.
Talking Heads, is it?
Yeah, yeah.
Talking Heads, Jonathan Demme directed it.
Yeah, I've always heard that
was one of the best...
Fucking giant suit thing.
I always heard it was a great
smoking weed fucking video to watch.
That's what I would say. Well, if you like watching people jump around nonstop,
and if it's fun for you to see the band add a new instrument and a new member at the end of each song,
it's pretty entertaining.
Sorry, I ushered that film at the IU Cinema.
We actually had a dance section where people could just dance along to the music,
and we half expected to find a bunch of bottles there. it got a little rowdy near the end of the film when you found laszlo
hallifeld in the closet i'm 18 it got rowdy it got nuts speaking of nuts though you brought
a crazy movie for your for your contribution to the prize bag, Jesse. You brought Alex Rider,
Operation Stormbreaker.
Yeah, it claims to star
Ewan McGregor,
but what's the real reason
you brought this, Jesse?
Well, Mickey Rourke
recently fought
his first exhibition fight
in 20 years in Moscow.
He's 62 years old.
Oh, sorry.
I thought I heard something.
You don't have to respond
if weird shit people yell out.
So he's
62. The comedians and the newsman
will handle it.
So he's 62, and he
defeated a 29-year-old opponent,
and I just felt like...
Where was that fight? Some crazy place? Moscow.
Capital of Russia.
Did you watch the video of it happen?
No, not yet.
Mickey works like a gray Janet from Three's Company hair. capital of Russia did you see the video did you watch the video of it happen no not yet he's got fucking
Mickey works
like a gray
Janet from Three's
Company hair
he's got
he's got a
woman about town
haircut
and he knocked
out a black guy
with body shots
can I point
something out
Doug
yeah please
is this the oldest
audience member
you've ever had
at your shows right here?
Oh!
Hi, Bobby.
This gentleman,
and with all due respect,
to be that age and love a show like this.
He's related to Jesse.
He's 96.
What's his name?
Sidney.
Sidney LaPook.
Sidney, thanks for coming.
Sidney LaPook?
Yeah.
He's 96 years old.
I wouldn't have gone out on a limb and said you're the oldest man unless he was definitively
the oldest man.
We're not going to play any games tonight now that I know he's here because they're
really exciting games.
I don't want to be responsible.
He fought through World War II
he can more than take anything
he's the best
good man
Sidney Laputh
this is kind of a
afterthought
because I should have just ended the prize bag section
on that,
but
I've got some...
Some scrunchies.
I've got some wipes that remove the smoke smell
from your clothes and hair.
Supposedly reusable.
Supposedly you'd do it ten times.
And I brought...
I had an extra copy of this
because they made so many different crazy director's cuts
of Blade Runner.
So throw that in the bag.
I wanted to make an extra special bag
because you guys
came out for the second of the
two sold out shows.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
I don't even know what time it is right now.
I'm sure we're way behind schedule.
Third quarter, Doug, third quarter.
8.30.
I could have pulled my phone out, thanks.
But yeah, Mike has another engagement,
a previous engagement with our friends over at UCB.
They have a show every week called Ask Cat.
And Mike is going to be the monologist over there.
So he has to race over there and spray his monologism all over, all over adoring faces.
96.
He's like, what's he saying? What's this he speaks of? Does he really? Yeah, pretty much. 96. He's like, what's he saying?
What's this he speaks of?
Does he really? Pretty much, yeah.
He's got great senses. Is that your grandfather?
Oh yeah, it's my grandfather.
Mike just figured that out.
Oh, okay.
I thought it was an old gentleman who mentored a young boy.
Don't jump to conclusions, Jay.
It's a modern twist
on Harold and Maude.
Modern.
That's a ship in a bottle,
young man.
Ooh, I dropped my pencil.
Could you pick it up for me?
Weird movie to watch
with your mother, by the way.
Which one?
Harold and Maude.
Oh, right. That's got to the Maud. Oh, right.
That's got to be weird.
Good job, Mom.
Nice choice.
But you've seen a lot of stuff.
Your parents are pretty cool.
They've come and watched you get subjected to this.
So they're pretty nice.
Oh, they're wonderful.
I appreciate them.
Do you have a favorite movie that you've seen lately?
We've got to move into the games portion here pretty quick. Oh, sure. Do you have a favorite movie that you've seen lately? We've got to move into the games portion here pretty quick.
Oh, sure.
Do you have a movie you love?
I love Birdman.
I saw that with a friend.
Yeah, please.
It's incredible.
Lord, the rest of the panel, before I get to you,
make sure you mention when you saw this movie
whether a friend was there or not.
I want the size of the group for each film
He was accompanied by an adult
He was trying to make sure that he wouldn't get in trouble
Did you mention a friend
because
Is there a story about the friend?
Did you debate the movie afterwards?
No, we got dinner afterwards
Oh, okay
So panelists, make sure you let me know what the next activity was
This is Riveting Stories. It's just Riveting
Stories 101. It's a real education.
I actually have a
story about my age that's kind of funny,
but I just want to say that Birdman is an amazing,
amazing, wonderful movie. He loves it, you guys.
Loves Birdman.
Alright, cool.
You said you had a funny story?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
A day in the life of a young Jewish boy.
Yeah.
So I...
Bar mitzvah practice, and then...
Still trying to learn how to throw a football.
And then...
Slack shopping.
To make a long story short,
through the IU Cinema,
I got to go to
have dinner with a bunch of other people
with this guy, Jonathan Banks.
He's on Breaking Bad. He was on Airplane.
He's awesome. Great.
So to make a long story short, everyone there was at least 27.
And he made us go around the table
saying our ages.
And finally it got to me and I just said,
18. And everyone starts laughing and he just went go around the table saying our ages and finally it got to me and I just said, 18, and everyone starts laughing
and he just went, fuck you!
Mike, why are you saying that?
He's a wonderful, wonderful man.
He's the warmest, nicest guy.
It was just a really treat to meet him.
His name was Mike on Breaking Bad, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I felt like I made a mistake or everyone thought
I was yelling at Mike for Biglia.
No, Mike or a mature.
I was trying to yell at Mike.
He didn't say anything.
But, yeah, that guy's a great actor.
He was in 48 Hours and was awesome in that, a small role or whatever.
But I've been watching that dude forever.
And he's in Better Call Saul.
Yeah.
He's one of the characters from Breaking Bad that crosses over to that one.
So that's going to be cool.
Mike, have you been to the movies lately?
I did.
Birdman?
I like Birdman.
Wow, you opened a thing up like you're going to write a citation to everyone.
I want to say it's a great year in movies.
It's a great year for movies.
I agree.
Last night I saw Foxcatcher.
Right?
I loved it.
Did you go to the Sunshine Cinema to see that
No I saw it at BAM
Cause Sunshine Cinema has
They have five screens
And all of them are Foxcatcher
They should just change it
That's where I saw it
To Foxcatcher Cinema
Did you see it too Jay
I saw it there
Did you like it
I did like it
You know it's funny
I'm from Philadelphia
So it's a very Pennsylvania story
That's right
We're fucking after the show.
Me and you, Jesse.
We're going to crush all that puss.
Philly chicks, they draw no lines.
Fat guy and a skinny kid, we're all up in it.
They really made the ending of that movie...
I don't even fully understand what Jay just said,
but I'm still laughing.
The Philly people got it.
That's all that matters.
I don't know what happened to either of them.
The 96-year-old got it.
Yeah.
Hi, Bobby.
Fucking birds of nine and three were all jacked up.
He's nodding.
He's in.
He gets it.
Fox Catcher,
they really, like,
they mellowed the ending of that movie out a lot
that was like a several day standoff
how much are you giving away?
this is a limited release
it's news stories
oh yeah it is based on true events
no spoiler alert but the end of that movie
that's something that's very casually ends
it's something that's like a real
three day major event
that happens so it's weird
you're saying it's sort of they kind of, like, they
surmise that. You're saying it's sort of truncated?
Yeah, a bit for, like,
something that could have been a pretty cool...
Alright, now tell us about Argo.
Yeah, exactly.
You can only give away movies that
are from history, and we should have read up
on it already. Can I go through a couple more?
Of course, yeah.
My list is Boyhood Ida,
Under the Skin, which I highly
recommend. If you have a chance
to find that movie. That shows
What's-Her-Face's Bush, yeah?
I'm gonna plead
to the film expert
and the newsman.
Gentlemen, do we have Bush
in that film? Scarlett Johansson's Bush, yeah?
No, I'm sorry.
I was checking the football score.
Canadian football?
How's it going?
Still 17-7 for the stampede.
Holy shit.
Canadian football,
the only thing keeping
white athletes working.
All right, that was Big J
that said that.
I did not say that.
That was Big J. Ogerson, everybody.
And then I got The One I Love.
You got a whole list.
Obvious Child.
Oh, great movie.
And I know it's gotten so much attention,
but Guardians of the Galaxy is a great movie.
I love it.
Flying out here yesterday,
I just watched it twice in a row.
I mean, I did other things, you know.
I had a meal and I read a magazine, but I had it on two times in a row.
And I even wait all the way through to the end of the scene at the very end
because it baffles me every time.
Can I ask you a personal question?
Please.
When you're flying in a plane, do you ever smoke pot?
Can I ask you a personal question?
Please.
When you're flying in a plane, do you ever smoke pot?
There's a military man in the audience.
I'd rather not.
I use edibles and stuff, so I'm high on planes,
but I don't have the nerve to go into the restroom and try to smoke.
Even if it's vapor, I'm just like, people are going to know,
and it's going to be sad.
I'm trying to be a poster child for just making weed work in your life
and not being caught with it
and looking like an asshole.
I'm not the Beatles.
These guys, why is Snoop Dogg
in the tour bus that says Snoop Dogg on the side?
That's going to get pulled over in Texas.
That's true.
But I digress.
Thanks for that list of movies, though.
It gives people a lot of things to go see.
Jenny Slate is amazing in Obvious Child.
So good.
I was kind of saddened by the way they promoted it,
because we actually did a commercial for it on this podcast,
and I had to say
a phrase along the lines of
the hit abortion comedy.
Oh, gosh.
Or the first abortion comedy, or something like that.
I was just like, why are we saying abortion comedy?
It's an element of the film, but that's
not what makes it funny.
It's what they do with it afterwards.
No, so...
That's hot.
I decided to go super dark on that one.
And Gabe Liebman is wonderful in it as well.
Yeah, it's really, it's very well done
and it's not an abortion comedy.
It's a really great movie.
There you go.
18-year-olds
love it!
Pat, have you been to the cinema?
Do you have time?
I don't have a lot of time. I saw the Jon Stewart movie. Oh, Rosewater. Love it! Pat, have you been to the cinema? Do you have time?
I don't have a lot of time. I saw the Jon Stewart movie.
Oh, Rosewater.
Oh, I like that as well.
Oh, that's on your list.
You've got to update your list.
Yeah, it was pretty good for a first-time director movie where nothing really happens.
Really?
No, it's all confined to this prison.
It's a very small story.
Yeah.
Does anyone else want to bring up movies they didn't like that much?
No, I try.
Because the question kind of shifted between what did you like and what have you seen, you know, so you can't bring up one you didn't like.
But Rosewater was all right.
I liked it.
It wasn't a very ambitious film.
There you go.
Yeah, well, you know, baby steps.
What do you look for in a debut film when you watch it?
What do I look for in it?
I just want to be entertained.
Jesse's right.
I'm really shitty with the follow-up.
I set my expectations
slightly lower
I just want to see potential more than
this is the best movie ever
yeah that's the thing
I feel like a couple movies lately have been
overhyped to a degree that it hurts the experience
when you go
I didn't think Gone Girl was as great as people were making out to be
Citizen Kane of course
your Skeleton Twins is like that
it's a great first film I think which one. Skeleton Twins is like that. It's a great first film, I think.
Oh, yeah. Which one?
Skeleton Twins. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I like that, too. Really good first film.
Oh, golf applause.
And, uh,
Jay, have you been to the movies?
Yeah, I go to the movies a bunch. I just saw
Horrible Bosses 2 today.
How'd that work out? Everybody's saying it's not good.
All three of those dudes are hilarious.
And it wasn't that good.
The laughs weren't that great.
But I said Foxcatcher was great.
I really liked Nightcrawler.
Yeah, that's neat.
It's really good.
Jake Cunha was great.
He's one of those guys you really fucking
want to hate and then he's like,
I love him. I love everything he does.
He really is good.
Very accurate portrayal of the news business as well.
Every moment of that movie was an accurate portrayal
of what I do every day.
Oh, yeah.
And you're a newsman, so I'll take your word for it.
Yeah, I've seen you when you're reading the papers.
You're like, well, I'm trying to find a story
with a bloody woman running down the street.
That's what they say in that movie.
I didn't just riff that.
I did like Gone Girl.
I thought it was pretty good.
I thought it was pretty cool.
I didn't know there was any hype.
People have raved so much about it.
I found it to be, especially in the early going,
the scenes between Ben and the Gone Girl are...
It just felt strange
like they were trying to make some sort of state...
Like Fincher was trying to say
you know, like he was
trying to film it like it was like a
commercial for a happy couple.
So the way they performed it,
I don't know, I was just sitting there kind of going, this is the thing
everybody's raving about? And then the
plot twists, I get that. If you haven't read
the book, then there are good twists in there.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I didn't see the end coming.
I didn't see how it went.
I thought it was pretty sick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it was, yeah.
I thought it was good.
But yeah, horrible balls is two.
Well, you don't need to, like,
just stomp all over it.
You could just...
You know, if I go see
every horror movie in the theater,
I'm so rarely...
Did you see The Babadook? The what? You know, if I go see every horror movie in the theater, I'm so rarely...
Did you see The Babadook?
The what?
The Babadook.
No, what's that? Is that a horror?
Yeah, right?
Yeah, it is. It was at Traverse City.
Yeah, so you saw it?
No, I didn't. Just kidding.
Me neither. Let's talk about it.
I think The Babadook is a doll or something that has a spirit in it.
It's a storybook, and the kid finds it on a shelf,
and he's like, oh, Mom, will you read this to me?
She's like, oh, sure.
Next thing you know.
Everything goes horribly wrong.
They're pulled into a living hell.
Yeah.
From a children's book.
Yep.
From the shelf.
You know the last good horror movies was,
I think those Insidious movies are pretty good.
They're pretty scary. They're pretty scary.
They're pretty balls out.
Did you see Annabelle?
Yeah, it was fine.
It was like, you know.
Yeah, I don't know about, dolls aren't that scary to me.
I'm over the haunted house and I'm over the exorcism.
Like, that's just two things.
What's the new frontier for you?
I don't know.
Evil like David Lynch-y shit.
Twin Peaks is coming back, which is
going to be fucking...
The fact, in the finale of that
show, that girl says, I'll see you again
in 25 years, and next year is 25
years. That's fucking bizarre.
That's such a cool fucking thing for that lunatic
to do. I love like...
It's his version
of boyhood, because it's...
It's, you know, he's like,
we said 25, let's just do it.
Let's just do it, yeah.
No one knew for sure that was happening.
That's such a cool move by him, yeah.
Yeah, but you don't think also possibly just a coincidence?
They did that in season one.
No, no, no, not at all.
No, I think he really is like that...
Do you watch his stuff, David Lynch?
Yeah, yeah
His films, I can take them or leave them
Really?
The ones I love, I really love
But my favorite movie of his is Elephant Man
And that's not really his style
He kind of stepped out of his style
Like Lost Highway
It's really great, but Lost Highway is fucking weird
Love it though
What's the most recent one? Inland Empire?
Did you see that?
Yeah, I did That That's messed up.
I don't even know what it's about, man, but I love it.
There's three of his movies
where I swear to you, if he goes, what's it about?
I go, I don't know, man. It's like my nightmares,
I think.
I think they're about my personal nightmares.
Blinky lights
and a guy staring at a screen
and just things I want to look away from.
My wife and I do an impersonation around the house of David Lynch's introduction to this YouTube series called Interview Projects.
Did you guys ever see that?
Did you ever see it?
Nuh-uh.
At the beginning of every episode, he goes, interview project is about people.
So we just use it around the house like, this morning's breakfast is about
eggs.
Did you see his ice bucket challenge?
No. Oh, he says,
alright, I was nominated by
Justin Theroux, and he goes,
and Laura Dern, she wants me to do that with
espresso, so he puts some espresso in the ice bucket.
He goes, I'm going to play Somewhere Over the Rainbow
on this trumpet.
Poorly, he starts playing it
rather good, I might add. And then they
dump it on him. And then they dump another one
because Justin Theroux challenged him.
And then at the end he goes, and now I'd like to
nominate for the Iceberg Bucket Challenge
Vladimir Putin.
Thank you very much.
That's great.
You think your voice is going to change a little bit more?
Or are you already just going to sound like David Lynch?
We'll see.
Yeah, we will see.
We'll see what happens.
Yeah.
Yeah, but...
Yeah, David...
Wild at Heart is my favorite David Lynch movie
of his crazier ones.
It's one of the funniest lines ever.
When he gets up, he goes, when the big gang surrounds him, he goes, what do you faggots want?
It's the hilarious thing to say to a gang that surrounds you.
And they just punch him in the face.
That's the scene.
What do you faggots want?
And they just punch him in the face.
That's the scene.
What do you faggots want?
I enjoyed my own drag.
But going back to that for a second,
like, it's, you know,
I'm trying to use that particular word less in my life, you know,
because as a teenager and a young adult,
I've said it a lot, probably.
And I try to say it less.
I understand what's going on there.
But when it's said in a really inappropriate time and place,
it's just still hilarious to me.
And that's a great example of it.
And the other one that I love is in,
and I talked about this on a podcast recently
and somebody got mad at me on Twitter,
but I'm going to say it again,
is in Blazing Saddles when Slim Pickens
calls somebody a Kansas City faggot.
It makes me laugh every time.
Because it's like, they just thought that expression up.
Like, why would you make, why is Kansas City in the Old West?
Why was that, was that the gay town?
I don't think so.
I've told this on radio a bunch,
but it really is one of my favorite things
to talk about the changing of sensitivity
as far as homosexuality goes,
is that at the comic strip here in New York
on the Upper East Side,
there's two gold records of Eddie Murphy's.
And to tell you how the times have changed,
this never comes up in a problem.
Track four on his first album is just called Faggots.
And then track one on the second album says Faggots,
and then parentheses says Revisited.
There's some more Faggots I forgot.
Revisited gives it a real BBC kind of feel.
Might as well say Brideshead revisited.
That is nuts.
That is so crazy.
That couldn't happen today.
It absolutely could not happen today.
They should go back and change that.
Or they should put the little stars in there or something.
Those Eddie Murphy specials hold up about as well as his movies past 1990.
Oh, shit.
Is that when all of his movies started being written
with giant red bubble letters?
When he knew it was going to be a shit one?
I think he's so good in Dreamgirls.
Like, why isn't he a song and dance man?
Why isn't he playing singers and musicians
and, you know, instead of trying to,
that party all the time thing is pretty awesome.
My girl wants to.
We've got to play some games, you guys.
We went really long on the chatter.
Now we're really going to be up against it with Mike Rabiglia has a ticking time bomb.
This is like a...
Why is that so much more important than the Grey Cup?
Time bomb.
This is like a... Why is that so much more important than the Grey Cup?
There's only nine teams in that league.
Everyone goes to the playoffs.
Everyone goes to Pizza Hut afterwards.
Win or lose.
Or Tim Hortons.
Win or lose, we all go to Tim Hortons. Stick it into Canada.
Oh my God.
I can't imagine what it's like right now to be a gay Canadian.
Listening to all this trash talk.
All those little cold dicks.
How did you go mentally straight to the dicks?
That's how I operate.
Go-to cold weather reference.
Let's play some games.
We got name tags in the audience.
A lot of great ones.
Go ahead and show us your name tags, you guys.
And gentlemen of the panel, go and select your name tags you guys and gentlemen of the
panel go and select your name tags and while you do that we're going to do this we're going to take
a brief break and we'll be right back all right we're back everybody great name tag selection
work you guys who are you playing for big jay okerson? I believe I'm playing for Elon and Lauren.
Am I saying it right?
They're having an excellent adventure.
Yeah, they put their faces on Bill and Ted.
They put their faces on those dudes from the movie.
But they kept Socrates
and
Napoleon.
Napoleon.
They gotta take him to that water park, Waterloo.
Which is an actual scene in the movie.
Just so you know.
I'm not making it up.
Slam dunk, Pasternak.
Thank you.
Thank you, Doug.
Pat, Karen, who are you playing for?
Well, Jenna and Wayne both made Rice Krispie Squares and then wrote their name on the Rice Krispie Squares.
And when I went down, I was trying to choose between, you know,
which Rice Krispie Square looked better,
and Wayne says, choose Jenna's.
So I have Jenna's Rice Krispie Squares.
It's honesty. Can't argue with that.
Wayne's a hell of a guy.
I'd like to take that thing and throw it out in the middle of 23rd
and just watch cars drive through it.
I mean, that's just my impulse, but
some people, it looks delicious. Maybe you'll want to
eat it. Sorry, you're
throwing my name tag out on the table?
I'm not going to do that. I'm just saying that's, if someone
handed me that, that's what I would do with it.
That's as respectful as eating it.
It's respectful as eating it, because
eating it is going to give me a sore stomach.
And throwing it out in traffic is going to give me, I'm going to laugh really hard. So it's respectful as eating it because eating it is going to give me a sore stomach and throwing it out in traffic
is going to give me
I'm going to laugh
really hard
so it's still
bringing me joy
it's just different
you know
my mouth
my mouth is
reacting to it
you know what
throw Wayne's
out in traffic
Wayne's is down
that's an extra one
yeah I'll throw
Wayne's
throw yours
into the street dude
you better hide it
from me
I mean business
who are you playing for, Jesse?
I'm playing for Mike.
He wrote his names on both wings of an X-Wing.
Is there some type of pun?
It's just an X-Wing with the name Mike written on
both sides. It's made out of cardboard.
It looks really cool, and the new Star Wars teaser
came out with some very cool X-Wings.
And I just thought I'd honor the teaser
by picking this out and playing for Mike here.
It looks like somebody that's really good at origami got a hold of a pizza box.
Turn it into that.
Yeah, it's really cool.
It's pretty amazing.
Yeah, good job, Mike.
Good job, Jesse, picking that name tag.
Oh, the wings open.
The wings open?
God damn it.
Oh, to reveal the pizza inside.
If only.
Hey, dear Gramercy Theater,
can I please have another Tito's and soda?
Does anybody else need another beverage of any kind?
Yeah.
Yeah, a guy in the audience.
I'll take a red wine like a lady.
Anybody else?
You all good?
All right, cool.
I mean, that Rice Krispie treat is going to stake your thirst right there.
Let's play some games.
We've got the name tags.
I'm playing for Jen.
I'm sorry.
I didn't ask Mike who he's playing for.
I'm playing for Jen.
This is a Monsters, Inc. doll that says Jensters, Inc.
She's right there.
Yeah, that's –
I love Sully.
Is that Sully?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love this guy. So don't lose today, Mike Is that Sully? Yeah. Yeah. I love this guy.
So don't, you know,
don't lose today, Mike,
and Sully,
her good reputation.
Yeah.
You guys heard that.
What's the 96-year-old
dude's name again?
Sidney.
Sidney.
Thanks, Sidney.
I kind of felt like he laughed at that one a little bit.
Yeah.
Just a little bit.
All right.
So the first game we're going to play is a newish game on the show.
It's called Cluster Flicks.
And, yeah, someone else suggested we call it Doug Loves Threesomes.
And the reason why is because I'm going to say three movie titles
and all you guys have to think about
it really hard and if you can
discern the name of an actor who was in all
three of those films, after I've said all three films,
just shout it out into your microphone.
First person to get it right
is our winner. But if nobody gets it
after the first three, I'm just going to start adding
names slowly
like torture.
Titles or names of movies?
Names of movies.
Or titles of movies.
I know you're the expert, but I
think it means the same thing.
You're a podcast.
He takes you to task for everything.
And I'll keep adding
names until I think it becomes painfully
obvious and somebody gets it.
That's always the plan.
All right.
I'll say three titles.
First one to guess wins.
I like the sound of somebody cracking open a cold one.
Makes me feel like I'm at a matinee
and there's always people that sneak in beverages.
Speaking of beverages, thank you so much, sir.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Because I need to get more fucked up.
This 18-year-old right here,
I'm a terrible, terrible influence.
The three movies are
The Hole,
King Arthur, and Silk.
I'm going to confess to you, I've only seen one out of three of those movies.
Those other two I thought, there's no way these guys are going to get this.
The Hole, and don't say it if you know in the audience, but politely raise your hand because I'd be interested to know when people figure it out.
You guys know it already?
Jesus Christ.
That's not the name of a movie.
I mean, it is.
His name is in the movie,
but The Hole, King Arthur, and Silk,
and we add to that
The Edge of Love.
The Edge of Love.
Same people still know it.
And then Never Let Me Go.
Keira Knightley.
That is correct, Jesse Pasternak.
After a mere five very obscure titles.
Ah, good.
What was the giveaway to you?
How did you figure it out?
Well, I know she was Guinevere in King Arthur.
Right.
And I know she was in Never Let Me Go with Carrie Mulligan and Andrew Garfield.
So I was like, oh, it's got to be her.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
I was going to go on to say Love Actually, which should have really tipped it.
A Dangerous Method, The Jacket, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Curse of the Black Pearl,
Pride and Prejudice, Bend It Like Beckham, Domino, Atonement, Keira Knightley, ladies
and gentlemen.
Jesse's our winner.
That means Jesse gets to go first in our next game, and that's going to be a little thing
that I like to call ABCD's
Notes!
It's a spelling game,
you guys. I go down the line, we're
spelling something. You know what the next
letter is. You name any movie that
begins with that letter, and you get to stay in the
game. It's harder than it sounds.
And, uh,
it sounds impossible.
And if it begins with a, that's a T movie. You can't use it in any other of the, uh, sounds. Sounds impossible. Yeah.
And if it begins with the, that's a tea movie.
You can't use it in any other of the I forget to tell people that before we play it.
They always feel gypped.
And we're going to spell tonight
Keira Knightley co-stars in the Imitation Game
that I hear is quite good because of the
lead performance by Benedict Cumberbatch
who is a godsend
to comedy because there's hardly a funnier name
of a more respected actor.
So Cumberbatch is what we're going to spell tonight.
We're going to start with Jesse
and then go to Pat and then...
So a movie with Sina?
And you just start with...
Name any movie that begins with the letter C.
All right.
A legit motion picture
played in theaters and everything.
Crooklyn.
There you go.
That's a fun one. You did a good job,
Jesse. Thank you, Doug. You're welcome.
Tonight I'm giving you your first beer.
I picked a motion picture called
Celebrity, a Woody Allen film,
because it was set right here in New York City.
Yeah, DiCaprio.
Yeah, that's the one.
Now you're just Sam Levine-ing it.
Thank you, sir.
Pat, Carradine, any movie that begins with the letter U.
Up. Up. Yes! Up Yes
I went with unfaithful
Because it takes place
In part in New York City
The next letter is M
For Big J
We probably got the same one here
Made in Manhattan
If we had matched
You would have won automatically.
And your instincts were great
because I went with Manhattan.
Now we come over to Mike.
The letter is B.
I'm going to go with Beeswax.
That's a movie?
Yes, it is.
Oh, it is. You're right.
It's an indie film, right? Yes, it is. Who's in that? I believe Greta Gerwig is oh it is you're right it's an indie film right yes it is
who's in that um i believe greta gerwig is in it but you guys might know her i like that greta
gerwig she's all right uh i'm not really sure sorry i'm a little behind on the greta gerwig
she was in oh i honestly am she was in greenberg with uh ben stiller and Frances Ha. She's good. All right.
These were actually what you picked.
I went with Blade Runner.
No reason.
Because it doesn't take place in New York.
All right, Jesse.
E.
All right, E.
I'm going to say Everyone Says I Love You because part of it was shot in New York.
Oh, there you go.
You could have also said Escape from New York, because that's where they
escaped from.
I had actually written Escape from
Tomorrow, which
was the movie that they shot in Disneyland
and Disney World, and I'm going to be in
Florida on Thursday
in Jacksonville at
The Comedy Club.
Mentioned that earlier.
R is the next letter for Pat Kiernan.
And Doug, all of my movies
will be things that are indicating
a scent of some sort.
So Raising Arizona.
Okay.
That was a bold
claim because it might come back around to you.
Well, I think it doesn't want to be out of letters
by then. Is it going to come around again?
It's going to come around, I think.
We still got batch.
How do you spell batch?
I went with, for the R, I went with Rosemary's Baby,
because it takes place you know where.
One of the greats.
Yeah.
B is the next letter for Big J.
Bully.
Did you ever see Bully?
Yeah First movie ever to show
What's that girl's name?
Her whole bush
Macaulay
Macaulay Culkin's
That's how I judge movies
Macaulay Culkin's what?
Rachel Miner
Big J Okerson's second bush reference of the podcast
By the way
From now on
I'll only be referencing movies
where I can tell you whose Bush was it.
Oh, God.
You're really boxing yourself into a corner with that one.
I bet I could do it.
I bet I could do it for three more names worth.
All right, we'll see if it comes around to you.
If I were a big Jay Ogerson,
I would have maybe said Big Daddy,
which took place in New York City.
Similar flicks.
A is for Mike.
About last night.
Okay.
Or Annie would have been a good one to go with.
That's nice.
Or Pat Kiernan stars as himself.
That's a mistake.
That should have been the B, Blanny.
T is the next letter.
All right.
I'm going to say, this has nothing to do with New York City.
It's just what popped in my head.
So I'm going to say the treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Okay.
I'm telling you, Jesse, he goes deep.
He's not one of those kids that doesn't know movies before he was born.
Then he wouldn't know shit.
Just being a coroner.
We only talk about Birdman all the time.
The winner of this game, by the way,
tonight can date Jesse.
The letter T, I went with
The Fault in Our Stars, starring Mike Birbiglia.
Small.
It's a small role.
Someone tweeted the other day.
You were the star with the most fault.
Someone tweeted the other day
after all those kids had been through
you had to make them be
counseled by Mike Birbiglia.
Retweet!
I think their mutual
not really understanding what your
character is trying to do kind of
brings them together a little bit, doesn't it?
I agree.
Yeah, there you go.
You really
helped them out a lot.
C is the next letter.
You can do it. I'm so confident in you, Jesse. See, there must out a lot. C is the next letter. You can do it.
I'm so confident in you, Jesse.
See, there must be a climb. There must be a climb.
No, I just said church this year.
I'm out of time.
Okay, sorry.
I just was so excited Jesse might figure this out.
Something indicating us.
Connor.
Connor.
Yes!
Very fun movie.
I like it, but I went with Cloverfield.
New York Monsters, yeah!
I'll work the camera, yeah!
And then H.
This is the final letter.
Happiness.
This will really show off your skill.
The movie Happiness.
Happiness, who's Bush?
Here's the thing.
I was combing my brain.
No Bush, but it does have aggressive man-on-man rape,
which is potato-potato.
Potato-potato.
How you doing, Sid?
How you doing, Poppy?
Potato-potato. It's more like hello and oh no. How you doing, Poppy? Potato, potato.
It's more like hello and oh no.
For my age, it would be tons of Bush in it.
From New York City, the motion picture,
Hannah and Her Sisters.
Ah.
Yeah.
It was head Bush.
He has made, Woody Allen has made a lot of love letters
to New York City, and
where he was smart there is he waited until it was
hundreds of years old.
I thought it was clever while I was
thinking it, and then as I said it, I was like,
I don't know about this.
But he's, can you separate
the man and the art, you guys? I mean, in the case
of Woody Allen, I've liked his work for so long.
And, you know, I don't know what to do with that.
Like, we'd all be in a Woody Allen.
Like, would Pat Kiernan report the news in a Woody Allen film?
Sorry to interrupt you.
Did you ask if that Rice Krispie thing was loaded with anything?
Today in Pat's Papers who gives a fuck?
I've been up all night.
I'm the news.
It's all good. Jenna wouldn't do that to me.
What about Wayne?
She had a look of horror on her face.
People are usually pretty cool about that.
Man, you ate a lot of that thing.
My pants have been begging for some vodka,
so I just gave them some.
Just rubbing it in now. They love that, my pants. Jesus, I keep spilling this thing. My pants have been begging for some vodka, so I'm just... gave them some.
Just rubbing it in now.
They love that, my pants.
Jesus, I keep spelling this thing.
They come to the Gramercy Theater, they fill them to the brim.
Mmm.
Alright, you guys, let's play some more games.
That was a fun one. Nobody won, necessarily, but... Everyone had fun, so we all won.
Pasternak with the assist!
Have we ever played Last Man Standing,
Jesse? Oh, I haven't,
but I've always wanted to. There you go this is your chance Yeah. It's happening right now
and I think we
all love the one kind of
runner up name tag tonight was
the what was the Mean Girls
parody what was your name? What?
Dean Girls and your name
is Dean or Dina? Dina
Okay so she made a Dean Girls poster
and she put my face on Lindsay Lohan
and it looks crazy.
So if you listen to the show, you know The Last Man Stanton, right?
Have you sat at home thinking, oh, I could name somebody that would be a good person for them to use for that game?
I'll give you one more second to think about it.
This game is we get the name of an actor.
I play along, so I think it's fun. Actor, actress,
or director.
It's a large body of work.
She'll name somebody. Hopefully
it'll be a good one. And then we'll, no pressure,
Dina.
And then we'll take turns. We'll start with
Jesse again, because he won that last thing.
But we'll go a different direction. We'll go
to Mike next.
And we just name movies that that person was in.
Not produced.
That gets a little too crazy.
But if it's a director, movies they directed or are in,
because directors love their cameos.
And if it's an actor or actress, just movies that they were in.
And I'll give you actor or actor if they directed something.
That counts too.
Dean, what do you think?
Jake Gyllenhaal.
If you can't think of one, okay.
That's the worst one we've ever played.
That's a really hard one.
That's a really fucking hard one.
But with Jesse sitting here, I'd like to try it.
Dean, for the listeners, suggest it, and for the people.
How are you doing in the balcony?
You guys doing all right?
It's so dark up there. there seems like they're not even there
so polite too today
probably a long party weekend
right everybody's just pretty relaxed right now
yeah that's what I thought
alright
so she said Jake Gyllenhaal
so the films of Jake Gyllenhaal I know
Boo is right
you know All right, so she said Jake Gyllenhaal. So the films of Jake Gyllenhaal. I know, Boo is right.
Because, you know, now he especially seems quite picky about roles,
and he's not a guy that's just in a million things.
But I still want to try it just to see how quickly we burn out on it.
And maybe we'll pick another one if there's time after that.
So go ahead, Jesse.
You get to go first.
Name a Jake Gyllenhaal movie.
Thanks. Brokeback Mountain go ahead, Jesse. You get to go first. Name a Jake Gyllenhaal movie. Thanks. Brokeback Mountain.
Yeah, okay.
Might as well knock off the most obvious one.
Good strategy. And then I'm going to knock off
Nightcrawler. Yeah.
That just came up tonight. I
want to say the one I said, but I'm afraid there's
more title after the first couple of
words. So instead,
I'm going to go with...
Oh, I wish I could save this one for later.
Don't do that.
That's ridiculous.
So Zodiac is off the table
in a game that's already fucking really hard.
Please don't call for any more titles, ma'am.
Is she like a date or something, dude?
She's never heard the show before.
The way she did it, she had a smile on her face
like she does not know me at all.
I was going to say The Good Girl.
The Good Girl.
Thank you.
So then we go to Big J.
Prisoners?
Yes, sir.
Tell us about the Bush.
No Bush in that one.
No Bush.
Sadly, no Bush.
Sadly Bush-free.
The movie about kidnapping of children.
Yeah, more that, less Bush.
Pat Kiernan.
Jake Gyllenhaal. The films.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Nightcrawler was mine.
Doug, I'll guess one of the Spider-Man movies.
Oh, that's a fun guess,
because I think they were threatening to give
the part to him if Tobey Maguire didn't
settle for
less money. What's that? Is that how they normally get Tobey Maguire didn't settle for less money.
Is that how they normally get
Tobey Maguire to do things? They just say, oh, we'll give it to Gyllenhaal.
I think that would work
for a while there.
I think Gyllenhaal is so legit
right now. So did I get that wrong?
He's so good.
No, he was not in any of the Spider-Man films to the best
of my knowledge. Film expert?
You're in one of the Spider-Man films. the best of my knowledge. Film expert? You're in one of the Spider-Man films,
so you're in Amazing Spider-Man, right?
I was in the Amazing Spider-Man 2.
Oh, there you go.
You were like, oh shit,
oh right, you said Jamie Foxx earlier.
Do you only want to be a newsman
that talks about Jamie Foxx?
Did you say Electro has taken over the city?
I bet you did.
I was at Jumbotron Times Square watching him.
You're following Jamie Foxx around.
He's going to be creeped out.
Jamie Foxx, I could do.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
So what, do I leave the stage now or something?
When, you know, his next film is another remake of a musical.
Jamie Foxx's name is called Blentel.
is another remake of a musical that Jamie Foxx is in.
It's called Blentl.
Or the sequel,
Scream, Blentl, Scream.
You don't have to leave the stage.
I think you want to
because you want to watch the game.
Is it still going?
You're high out of your mind
and the game is going.
I'm going to eat Rice Krispies
and check while you guys
go on with your
Jake Gyllenhaal movies.
Okay, so Pat's out, so we're back around to Jesse.
Do you have another one?
Yes, I'm sorry if this is sort of Sam Levine-ing it,
because I might not know if he's in this,
but I want to say Brothers.
Oh, Brothers.
Oh, good.
He was in Brothers?
Yeah.
With Tobey Maguire?
As his brother, yeah.
Shit.
What about you, Mike?
Do you have another one?
Donnie Darko.
Yes, of course.
That's a biggie right there.
Good job, dude.
I want to say
a motion picture called
Bubble Boy.
Bubble Boy. Bubble Boy.
He is fucking versatile, that kid.
Did you see it?
I did see Bubble Boy, yes.
Zach Galifianakis has a funny scene
as a toll booth guy that's weird, strangely enough.
Big J, you got another one?
Jarhead.
Yes.
Wow.
Jesus walks. other one? Jarhead. Yes! Wow! Jesus
walks!
Pat's
out, so we go back to Jesse.
I'm having a little bit of trouble with this one. Of course
you are. This is a tough one, but you're doing
great so far. Thank you so much, Doug.
I think you're going to just pull one. Alright, let's
see. Just think of those big crazy eyes running
around going, ah!
All I'm seeing is him in SNL sketches.
I'm going to have to bow out, but thank you so much.
Oh, shit.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for the privilege.
You don't have to thank anybody.
Thank you.
Jesse also wants to watch the Grey Cup game.
All that skating on the ice is beautiful.
This got intense.
All those sticks.
I said all those sticks and all those
pushing people up against the glass.
It's football.
Oh.
I heard Canada. Two things glass. It's football. Oh. I heard Canada and cup.
Two things that are missing from football.
I'm sorry.
Skating and pushing.
I heard Canada and cup,
and I put the two together.
Do they do that in arena football?
Throw them up against the glass
when they're tackling each other?
I don't know.
Keep going with the Gyllenhaal game.
I'm sorry.
The Gyllenhaal game. I'm sorry. The Gyllenhaal game.
This is the deciding game
because Mike has to get going
in a few minutes here
and it's really intense.
I like it.
How can the game part be over already?
This is the third game.
Oh.
You're paying attention
to the wrong game is the problem.
But, yeah, and also we talk too long about movies at the beginning.
That seems to be a feature of the ones I'm on.
Mike's thinking really hard over here.
Is Brothers the one where he comes back from war and he has PTSD?
Yes.
I'm out.
one where he comes back from war and he has PTSD.
Yes.
I'm out.
All right.
Thank you for letting me play.
Jen, is there a shithead on the back of your sully?
Okay, cool.
So we're good.
You don't have to stick around for that or anything, uh, Mike, but you, uh, we have,
uh, we have you for, let's see, three more minutes if you want to stay that long.
I'll stick it out.
See what happens.
See what happens between me and, uh, Jay.
How you feeling, Jay?
You got another one?
I do.
Okay.
Oh.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's one that's just driving me crazy because I can't get it.
I can't figure it out who it was.
He plays virtually the same role in two movies that are independent films.
I can't think of the other one we haven't mentioned yet.
But I also think that there's a fucking colon and then more words after Prince of Persia.
And I like an exact title and I like an exact title I like an exact title so I'm going to say Prince of Persia colon the sands of time
I was thinking sands of Time sounds terrible.
That sounds like something I would make up
to make fun of Prince of Persia.
Like, why did it even need more words?
It's the first one.
I'm really worried for Big Jay.
That wasn't the one he had, I don't think.
Prince of Persia, I did have Prince of Persia.
I also had that.
And I was pretty
cocky with it. I thought you
weren't going to get it because in my
back pocket the whole time
I had a movie called End of Watch.
Wow.
My favorite of all
of his movies. I fucking
love that movie.
You totally blank on the weirdest shit
when you play this game.
Can I just point out that Big Jay
is proving himself to know
A, the most about movies,
and B, the most about Bush.
I'll take that.
Put that on my headstone.
Dash Mike Birbiglia.
I did not say it.
Our panel is a movie maker,
a movie expert,
a newsman in movies,
and in real life,
and a Bush expert.
And what was the last movie you said?
End of Watch.
Any Bush in that?
No.
Sadly, again.
There's probably like a crank or something though right
Like there's a dick at one point
But if you want a seven
Six degrees of separation bush
That Anna Kendrick girl
Did have her bush exposed in that big
Fucking cell phone hack thing
What?
Does somehow your entire audience
Not hear about
The major cell phone hacking called the fappening?
Big J.
I thought she was just in skimpy attire.
I didn't know they got her naked or her bush.
Full beef.
Oh, God.
Let's answer your next question.
Apologies to her.
She listens.
Big J's wealth of knowledge is so big
it includes the cloud
she keeps it high and tight like a young
Charlize Theron
I don't advocate anything that has been said today
Anna Kendrick is like the one awesome
Oscar nominated actress who's actually been on this show with me,
and she listens to it.
Dude, how cool is it going to be that you get to see her bush now?
Isn't it so much hotter when it's someone you know?
You're welcome.
It's not hotter.
It makes me feel bad. It's not hot in here.
Makes me feel bad.
But let's get him out of here because he's got to get to Ascot.
Thank you, Mike Birbiglia.
Thank you, guys.
I'll see you in California and Seattle.
I could, you know, sit here and talk movies with you guys all night
if you are down with it.
But Big Jay was our winner in that thing.
Tell me the movie I was thinking of where he, in The Good Girl,
he plays a young guy who falls in love with an older woman
and he's really weird about it.
And he did the same part in another movie called...
Day After Tomorrow. Day After Tomorrow.
Day After Tomorrow.
Perfect
answer.
Not the one I was looking for, but
What's that?
Love Another Drug.
No, no, that was with Anne Hathaway, but that's
not the one I was thinking of.
Not October Sky.
What? Yeah, and Catherine Keener. Not October Sky. What?
Yeah, and Catherine Keener.
You're right.
What was that called?
Oh, oh.
Oh, Lovely and Amazing.
Yes.
Yeah.
I need it back.
I need my mic back
like rock and roll
a guy runs out and does that for you
but in comedy you gotta pick up the mic again
you're supposed to not drop it
until you're actually gonna leave
I guess that's where one of us should have
stepped in with sort of a play-by-play commentary
oh yes
Doug's mic has fallen to the floor
in a moment of comedic genius
Ralphie made it on the stage
It's good we have a seasoned newsman
on the team
I want it
You guys look like an awesome news team right now
55 and sunny
Let's give the prize bag to the rightful owner
Who are we playing for again, Jay?
That nice couple over there?
I was playing for these two young ladies
Elon and Lauren, right there
Couple of ladies
Here's your bag, ladies
Congratulations, good job
Girls, respect my gangster
Tell the world Spread my message Congratulations. Good job. Girls, respect my gangster.
Tell the world.
Spread my message.
So, yeah. Oh, they probably also want their poster back, I'd imagine. They probably, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Speaking of poster back,
Pasternak sounds like that.
Jesse.
Oh, yes?
You got a shithead on the back of here?
I don't know. Or worked into it somewhere? Oh, it's on the floor paper. Sounds like that. Jesse. You got a shithead on the back of here? We worked into it somewhere?
Oh, it's on the floor paper.
Floor paper.
It didn't used to be floor paper. It is now.
There you go. And give that back to the gentleman.
Thank you, Mike.
Jesse doesn't get to keep it.
Oh, sorry. Are you okay?
Oh, my bad. Sorry.
R2. Oh, my God.
Sorry about that, Mike. I'm sorry. Is it okay?
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
It's never going to get to the Death Star now.
Jenna, is the message you want read underneath the Rice Krispies?
Because I can eat them.
She has it.
Oh, you wrote it's on a separate piece of paper. Okay.
Okay.
Wait. Okay. So I've got two I just need Pat
So you want to pass it up here?
I have to go retrieve it from Jen
You can if you don't mind
I appreciate it
Now you've got your hands full
Now I'm retrieving the message
With your treats
You're going to share those crispy treats with your family?
Get the whole family high?
That was good
Only if the Calgary Tiger Sharks win.
The Hamilton Tiger Cats are losing right now.
Was that a real team name he said?
The Montreal Chili Birds.
What the fuck is a Chili Bird?
The Ottawa Scaredy poos.
Chili bird sounds like a new thing
those two guys are talking about at Sonic.
It's the Ottawa Rough Riders
and the Saskatchewan Rough Riders.
There are nine teams,
and two of them have the same name.
That sounds like shit that happens
at truck-style fucking bathrooms.
Do you got anything to plug, Jesse?
Any appearances coming up?
Sort of.
I write for the Indiana University Cinema Guild,
so if you Google Indiana University Cinema Guild
and you want to read some of my film writings,
I cover movies at the Indiana University Cinema.
That's where I'm an usher.
And also, just if I could briefly say one thing,
my grandfather, he rescued a guy. while he was dragging a guy to safety he got hit by shrapnel and then a man came
up to him and asked for help tending to his cow and my grandfather said okay take me to your cow
saved the life of the cow which lived for a long time and I just wanted to take this time to just
honor my grandfather. He saved a cow
while injured.
Yeah.
I'm going to eat a hamburger in his honor tonight.
No cheese
so I can really savor the meat.
All for nothing is he laughing
is he laughing
Pat Kiernan
watch him on
New York One
if you're ever
in the New York area
Tuesday night
at the Bell House
in Brooklyn
I'm doing another one
of my pop culture
trivia nights
the Bell House
is a terrific venue
it is a terrific venue
it is
it is our winter theme
it's the Pat Kiernan
polar cortex
trivia night
and so
can you briefly tell us how the event works?
sure, I ask questions, people answer them
whoever answers the most wins
it's about cutting dry
it's kind of like this.
It's kind of like this, but I ask fewer questions.
I just name a letter and you have to name a movie.
Yours are tougher questions, I bet.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but Jesse could answer them.
Thank you.
He's a film expert.
Thank you.
You should come.
Tuesday night at Bell House.
Thank you.
I'll be flying back to Bloomington, but I would love to.
It's a 21 venue anyway.
My brother can go.
Wow, you buried the lead on that, Pat.
You don't read the last paragraph of those stories in the papers.
Jay Oakerson, you guys.
Great first appearance on the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me, man. It's so, you guys. Great first
appearance on the show.
Thanks for having me, man. It's so cool you asked me
to do this.
I think I'll have to have you standing
behind the phone at every show I tape from now
on because we've really got to know about the bush
that we really
need those updates.
I got it all.
Or that could just be your thing when you're on,
you know?
Yeah.
I'll find some lady
that can name every movie
you see a dick in
and sit her down next to you
and we'll have a blast.
I'm not going to lie.
I bet I'd be pretty good
on dick trivia also.
It's almost,
isn't it weird how dicks
in movies are burned
into your memory
almost as hard
or more so than Bush?
Yes.
It's crazy because you're just like,
you don't want to see it.
So you're like,
ah, dick,
I'll never forget.
Thanks, Kevin Bacon
and Hollow Man.
Right.
And in Wild Things.
That guy's dick
is out every movie
he's in lately.
That guy fucking hung dork
in like four movies.
I have a new fun name to get paged at the airport with Phone call for
Hunk Dork
Perfect
What kind of stuff do you want to plug, Big Jay?
Just my album's available on iTunes
Big Jokers and the Crowd Work Sessions
What's Your Fucking Deal
It's an hour straight
Crowd work, fucking with the crowd
It came out great, I'm really happy
It's on Comedy Central Records
And check that out
And also I'll be having, starting in January
Me and Dan Soder, if you know Dan Soder
Are going to be starting a new radio show on SiriusXM Daily, Monday through Friday So please check that out. And also I'll be having, starting in January, me and Dan Soder, if you know Dan Soder, are going to be starting a new radio show on SiriusXM
daily, Monday through Friday.
So please check that out.
It's going to be on Comedy Central Radio.
So that's it.
Thank you.
Right on.
Thanks very much to everybody that was here tonight.
Mike Birbiglia, Jesse Pasternak, Pat Kiernan,
and Big Jay Oakerson.
Douglovesmovies.com for all of my stuff.
And as always, we'll see some of you tomorrow night,
and everybody will get to listen to it later,
the big 12 Yes to Christmas.
I'm so excited about it, and I need to make some more bookings.
This guy's never going to do it,
but I think he lives around here,
so maybe I'll ask him.
Willem Dafoe is a shithead.
Chris Christie's Vitos are a shithead
And turning off your targeting
Computer is a shithead
Do I
Do the winners get theirs
I have the one from the winners
Well if it's funnier than those I'll allow it
But they won, so that's
why they don't get to name somebody.
Oh, you don't name them. But is it funny?
No, it just makes me sad.
Well, now everybody wants to hear it.
Well, to explain why it makes me sad,
I've opened
for almost 100 shows now
across the entire country for the band Korn
so it makes me sad
and it says their shithead is
any white person with dreadlocks
play the end theme please
now it's time for us to watch
another talky
guys of old as you and cowards
take shit by heat there's no room in his heart for you Now it's time for Doug to watch his brother talk. He hides a bolded view and prowess makes it funny.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies!