Doug Loves Movies - Bill Burr, Alison Rosen, and Bryan Bishop Guest
Episode Date: April 14, 2011Doug welcomes comedian Bill Burr, along with "The Adam Carolla Show" podcasters Alison Rosen and "Bald Bryan" Bishop. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy N...otice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers,
Queen of babies,
Sticky seats with 50
As a top maternal in his teens
They're still not born
Then he won't see
But Doug loves movies I was having a very
Hey everybody
I was having a very
Excited
Heated
Not heated
But you know
We were talking about
Something backstage
And then I realized
That the song was over
And I needed to be out here
Good story
My name is Doug
And I love movies. This is Doug
Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB
Theater in Los Angeles on April
12th to Ocean's 11th.
Pang is here.
What other name tags are here? Get the name tags
out. Oh, there's somebody
with a bottle that they did something?
The baseball is back. I told him
we corresponded on Twitter,
and I explained to Jordan that since he only got to call somebody a shithead,
that he could play again.
Not that I'd remember, necessarily.
What does that mean? Jersey trash?
Write your name on it, dude.
You're just holding up a sticker for some band or something?
Is that Stefan up there?
Did I pronounce it correctly?
Huh?
Less French.
Stefan?
Oh, you wanted me to go less French with it?
Okay.
There's a Jessica.
Jenna.
Gordon.
Hi, Eric.
Your name is Crush?
Orange Crush?
For today it is
Put it away, you can't win
It'll never happen
I had great times last weekend
In Columbia, Missouri
And Kansas City, Missouri
We did some
Shows
Graham Elwood and I did some stand up
And we played the Leonard Maltin game at both shows
and it was very exciting.
Graham couldn't remember.
He recited everything about the movie,
but he couldn't remember that it was called Trainspotting.
It was amazing.
He was like, Ewan McGregor, blah, blah, blah.
He was describing everything about it.
But what's it called?
And then when he finally figured,
went Trainspotting,
I could see where you'd miss that with all the, because don't really well they do a lot of train spotting in
the movie so anyway he couldn't remember it so he lost to a young man who won a bunch of stuff
last week's show here at ucb included a controversial build a title game. Turns out Foundling is in fact a movie.
But it was a silent film
or some shit, so who cares.
But also people pointed out
that any sequel
that has an S at the end
and then the number two
would work leading into Stuart Little.
And the first suggestion of those was
Jaws, Stuart Little,
Women in Black Hawk Down,
and now in Beverly Hills Cop, Land of the Lost and Found.
So that's now the official full title.
Nobody wins anything.
No show here at UCB next week
because I'll be ringing in 4.20
at the Punchline in San Francisco
doing a show on 419
that starts at 1030 and then we're going to do a countdown
at midnight like it's New Year's.
It's like the dumbest
idea I've ever had that's
also amazingly brilliant.
And then, because it's sold out already
so I don't even know why I'm bringing it up.
Just to rub it in. Can't come.
If you're listening to this and you haven't got tickets yet,
too bad.
But then I'll be doing two shows.
Road Trip on 420 at the Punchline in Sacramento.
I'll be actually taping my next CD
on that evening.
And then I'll be 421,
I'll be at Wow Hall in Eugene, Oregon.
422 through 24,
I'll be at Bridgetown Comedy Festival
in Portland, Oregon. 4-22 through 24 I'll be at Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon.
4-Tember?
4-28 I'll be
these are all April by the way, all these 4's.
April 28th I'll be
at Asbury Hall, aka
Babeville in Buffalo, New York.
And you can find all the tour dates
at Douglovesmovies.com
and the Winter Mountain Game will be played at most
of the shows except for the aforementioned show
in SAC because I'll be taping a CD
and that'd be a weird CD to sell.
Listen to Doug Benson
playing the Leonard Maltin game with people
from the audience.
Speaking of Leonard Maltin games,
someone named
atpinkasapistol
on Twitter
and then someone else whose name I don't recall but they they were second, so pink as a pistol gets credit.
They tweeted me a great idea.
Audience members, write your name of the person you'd like to call a shithead on the back of your name tag.
And then I'll just grab the name tags when we're done with the game and it'll move the proceedings along.
I don't have to wander through the audience going,
who do you want to call a shit in?
Who do you want to call a shit in?
One more thing before I bring
out my guests.
Los Angelinos, save this date,
May 9th,
I'm going to do another movie interruption
at the
CineFamily
Theater on Fairfax in Los Angeles.
And it costs $10 to get in.
You can get your tickets now.
So those of you here right now will get a jump on lots of people
that will be listening to this in a few days.
And it's May 9th.
And I'm not going to tell you who the guests are yet,
but the movie is going to be we're going to watch Unstoppable.
So you can only imagine who might be sitting with me with a microphone watching Unstoppable. So you can only imagine who might
be sitting with me with a microphone
watching Unstoppable.
Alright, my guests tonight are all
participants in other podcasts
that if you're not already listening
to, you should be listening to.
Please welcome Allison Rosen,
Bald Brian Bishop, and
Bill Burr.
Hi, everyone. Hello.
Allison, your name ruined the alliteration.
Like, Bald Brian Bishop and Bill Burr.
That was straight Bs all the way across.
And Allison Rosen.
I would have changed it if you'd asked.
All right, what BB name would you pick if you had to change your name for show business?
Brooke.
Brooke.
Oh, that's good.
It's easy to remember.
That is really good.
I know.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brooke Brooke, Brian Bishop, and Bill Burr.
You don't have to plot again.
So, Allison, you, of course, everyone, those of you who don't know, she does the news segment on Adam Carolla's podcast.
I also weigh in at other times, sometimes when they want me to and sometimes when they don't. Oh, sometimes
you get a stink eye from Adam like
that was not a good time to jump in?
Actually, no, but I just
feel like perhaps that wasn't the right time.
He forgets to give the stink eye.
I know. Sometimes he's too busy
thinking about what he's going to say next.
Brian gives it to me though.
What?
Brian, you're the noisemaker on the show.
Correct.
And you do the drops, but you also jump in and chat and discuss things.
Our microphones are melting.
What do you mean?
Yeah, look at this.
Look at this microphone.
This is hardcore improv done by this smashing yourself in the face.
I know Brian's show is, you know, you also have video that people can see, right?
Oh, yeah.
We stream on Ustream Live every night at 8 p.m. Pacific.
Yeah.
So people are just listening to this.
So jokes about what your microphone looks like aren't really the way to go.
I don't think you can let him paint a picture.
It's true.
It's true.
People do enjoy it sometimes.
I think that particular reference
will go over just fine
because people will go,
oh, they must be holding
fucked up microphones.
Those microphones must be really dented
or melted,
which is how he described it.
And Bill Burr, of course,
your podcast is called
The Bill Burr Morning Experience.
Yeah, something like that.
It's the Monday morning podcast.
Yeah, Monday morning podcast.
And it comes out,
when does it come out?
When can we hear that?
When is that available?
You can hear it pretty much Mondays.
Yeah?
Do you miss sometimes?
Is it sometimes not on Monday?
No, sometimes.
I try to do it Sunday night
because I actually have some people who live way east,
like in England, who listen to it,
and they'll bitch at me.
Everybody just goes,
why the fuck do you call it Monday mornings?
You call it Monday afternoon.
All that internet shit that people do.
Monday morning podcast fail,
OMG, LOL, that type of stuff.
So I pretty much, yeah, I get it out on Mondays.
I basically do it because I hated my day job, you know, before I did this stuff.
And I know people, you know, drive to work, hating their lives.
And just...
Bill loves you.
They live in cubicles and their lives suck.
So you just make them laugh on the way to work.
We get a lot of sucky cubicle people listening
as well.
I think we all do, but you know,
let's not make them feel bad while they're listening
to something that's supposed to be making them feel
better about how bad it is.
You should address it.
It's come up before, but you know, mostly we talk about
movies, not about how miserable the listeners'
lives are.
What if it's a movie about people with terrible lives?
What, am I just supposed to just keep watching movies and just continue there looking at spreadsheets?
No one dreams about that as an eight-year-old.
Someday I'm going to sit in half an office without a roof looking at spreadsheets.
Listen to this.
Is that filling you up?
And also, half is generous.
Most people are in the smaller quarters.
I guess when you stand up, you can't get half your torso over it.
You were in a motion picture called Date Night.
Yes, I was.
And the last time I saw you, I had to actually go,
what was that movie you were in?
Because you're great in it, don't get me wrong.
But it's also like one of those things where they go,
let's get a comedian to play what is essentially a pretty straight role.
You were just a cop trying to find Steve Carell.
No, I don't know what they said behind the casting office doors.
But, I mean, it's always interesting to me when a comedic person like yourself
plays a role that's not really
a comedy part.
And I got a bunch of emails.
Dude, you weren't funny in that movie.
What the fuck?
I was pretty disappointed, honestly.
I apologize for sitting there.
I was just psyched to be in it.
Craft service was amazing.
It was fun.
You got to hang out with an Oscar nominee every day
to John P. Henson, right?
Is that how you say it?
Yeah, I stood next...
My reel looks unbelievable if I just had lines.
I'm just standing next to all these awesome actors.
I could just see you sitting next to her at lunch
going, what's he really like?
What's the name of the guy
that makes all those movies with black people?
I can't believe I...
Madea. What is Madea really like?
Ice Cube.
You guys never saw
Players Club?
I can't believe I blanked on his name, though,
because that was really key in saying something funny
right there.
Trying to make fun of you.
And then,
your scenes with
Steve Carell and Tina tina fey like did you are
you in did you have any crack up outtakes like were you like being no i know i was just more
watching what they were doing i was trying to learn it was basically was what i was doing i
was watching you know people in because you get your first time you do something like that you
you know you don't want to mess up you don't feel like you have that when you have eight lines you're
not going to improv
You're just going to sit there
So watching people
Who have the freedom
And the ability to do it
So it was pretty cool
Pretty fascinating
Yeah
Nobody tipped over
Any craft service tables
I really don't have any
Interesting stories
To tell you as far as
People flipping out
Well no
I mean everyone knows
That Carell and Fay
Are two of the biggest
Assholes in the business
Yeah unbelievably difficult
Unbelievably difficult To work with. They're so horrible
you probably just didn't even look. Oh yeah, cocaine. It's just unbelievable. Allison,
have you seen Date Night? Trying to bring it around to you. Is it better if I have or
haven't? Do you want to ask me about the motion pictures I've been in?
I just thought that would sound like an insulting question
because I do that sometimes just to be funny.
When someone hasn't been in any movies,
I'll say, what movies have you been in?
But what have you been in, Allison?
None.
That's what I'm saying.
I didn't want to play that card.
Brian hasn't been in any movies.
No, I haven't seen Date Night, but I bet Brian has.
This is uncomfortable.
Did you see it?
No.
That's all right.
I don't make any extra money.
I don't give a shit.
I did want to see it.
Well, I saw it because I fly a lot.
Well, see, now there's a ringing endorsement.
I was
I was actually on a plane
And I saw a guy in front
Laughing his ass off
Watching it
Made me feel good
He was watching the part that
What's his face was in
Oh Medea
Medea
No no no
Jesus Christ
I can't
No
Franco
Wahlberg
No
Keep going down
Second page
IMD.
William Fichtner?
Michael Biehn.
Eddie Deason.
No.
We really can't name who the person was?
Who else was in Date Night?
This is a fun game.
No, no.
I can't remember.
Wait, what did he do in the movie?
Common. How about Common? Common's in it, right? Common. Wasn't did he do In the movie Common How about Common
Common's in it right
Common wasn't anybody
I was in the movie with
Right
So I don't know
Yeah no I don't know
A lot about movies
Mila Kunis
Was it Mila Kunis
Nope
She was in it
I've named seven people
That are in that fucking movie
I know
Dude there's
Everybody's in it
I'm gonna have to look it up
I'm gonna look it up
Let's go to Leonard Maldon
See what he has to say.
You guys talk about something while I do this.
Just keep it lively.
Look at Doug work that iPhone.
Oh, God, I'm terrible at it.
Impressive.
Ray Liotta.
This is going nowhere.
No, was that it for real?
Ray Liotta.
How did you describe him?
No, I'm joking.
It wasn't him.
Okay, good.
I was stunned.
I was like, I can't believe you called him.
Yeah, what's that little stupid little...
That guy, you know, he did that movie with the elephant.
What the hell is his name?
He was in an elephant movie?
Operation Dumbo Drop.
Oh, Leota was in that?
Yep, yeah.
I would have done that to get the house.
Absolutely.
Do that in a second.
No such thing as selling out.
No, I agree agree Dumbo drop I mean that's just like
how can you say no to that
I can't believe you're this obsessed
it sounds too awesome cause like I would say
am I gonna be there when Dumbo drops
I'm in then
like if I wasn't in that scene I'd say
fuck that movie
hey would you do a movie with a chimp?
I would do anything with a chimp.
It wouldn't even have to be a movie.
I'd do a play with a chimp.
Since people have learned that they can now rip your face off,
because chimps were cute before that.
Oh, I would keep my guard up.
I'd never be like looking the other way,
because there'd be a chimp there
I'd be fascinated with it
see you say you'd do anything
with a chimp
as if it'd be fun
but if you were on guard
the whole time
you'd never
no that's true
get to experience the chimp
you're right about that
but you know
how exactly would you be on guard
against something that can
hang by it's foot
just like
like that level of strength
like if you saw a guy
if you saw a guy in a bar
Hanging by one foot
That challenged you for a fight
How would you prepare for that?
I would just
I would always have my feet
Ready to go the other way
Honestly I think it would be draining
Just trying to stay scrappy
A guy just ran on a stage
Oh here we go
He's helping me out here
What are you doing?
Wasn't that guy
Wasn't that guy I Wasn't that guy?
I've got it.
I've got it.
It was Mark Ruffalo?
No.
Then who else?
That's it.
That's everybody.
Dude, I was peeking
between seats.
I don't even know.
Some sort of big car chase
and he was laughing
his ass off.
Who?
J.B. Smoove.
He was in that?
I didn't even see it.
It wasn't Kristen Wiig.
Was he in the car chase?
It wasn't Leighton Meester.
Oh, I know JB.
Was it a black guy?
Jesus Christ.
No, I was just looking up.
There was a bunch of cars driving around.
This is the most racist episode of this show that I've ever done.
What, if I don't like JB, that means I don't like all black people?
No, but he's hilarious, that guy.
So that was your point initially,
is there was a hilarious guy in it.
No, what I was saying was I was peeking through.
I don't have any problem with JB.
What I was saying, I was looking through the seats
and there was this fat guy.
So I'm looking through seats and his head was fat.
I just saw cars.
And he was laughing, but I knew it was date night
because they announced it, the lady.
And she does the seatbelt thing.
She said, hey, we're going to lunch.
So what were you doing instead of watching the
movie that you're in?
I'm not going to watch a movie. You can't do that.
That's an outer body experience.
You don't want to know what the back of your head looks like?
That's too fucking weird.
Dude, there's something wrong with you.
If you can sit there and watch yourself
pretending to be
a cop.
No, it's different.
If I'm trying on a suit,
and yeah, I see the back of my head for half a second,
but if I'm sitting there watching myself...
Oh, you don't want to have to stare at it.
Whatever, just seeing the side of your head,
it's just weird.
All of a sudden, I'm somebody else looking at me,
living, that's weird.
Ray Liotta.
I really think this is normal.
I just think that's a normal thought process.
See, and yet I have fantasies
of being on JetBlue when some
cable TV thing that I've done
comes on and then pretending that
I hope no one recognizes me. Yeah, you just sit there
watching it and laughing. Oh, no, no.
I wasn't saying I wasn't doing that. I was pushing
my head through the seat. Absolutely.
But I'm not going to order it.
Then you lose the coolness.
If you just sit there and,
oh, yeah, I was watching ESPN.
Oh, is my eight lines on this flight?
That's how you play it off.
Of course I want to be recognized.
I pay $2 to listen to my own premium episodes
when I'm flying.
No, I don't.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
Let's talk about just going to the movies.
Allison?
Well, last movie,
and I thought,
I realized,
unfortunately on my way here,
that this question was going to come up
and that the only answer
I was going to be able to provide
was yes,
I saw Morning Glory.
I think that's what it was called.
With Harrison Ford and Rachel McAdams.
They play morning news anchors.
It was terrible.
We were all aware of it and chose not to watch it.
It was heavily marketed.
And, you know, Rachel McAdams, it's hard to get me not interested in something she's in.
I know.
I know.
But I filed that one next to notebook.
The notebook?
Below?
No, that's the other one I don't like.
Well, she's even more annoying in this one.
I like the time traveler's wife.
You know why?
Why?
Because...
Tell me.
Because there's nothing more tragic than time travel.
Like, everyone who gets to do time travel,
it never works out.
It's always just a big bummer in their life.
And they always realize
as they're floating one way
and the person they love
is floating into another time zone
that it was a mistake.
Yeah, that's messed up.
It's just messed up
that you can't go have sex
with your lover
because you're in different years.
Well, see, now I feel like,
and this is perhaps
what the source code is about,
but I feel like now
we're looking at micro time travel.
It's like, what would happen if I were eight minutes in the future
or eight minutes in the past?
Yeah, he's eight minutes in the past.
He has to do it over and over again to find why the train blew up.
And then far away through the movie,
they always do these sort of things, spoiler alert.
He starts to go, hey, but why don't we just save everybody on the train
instead of just trying to figure out why it blew up?
And it's like, I think they would have thought of that if that was a way to go, hey, but why don't we just save everybody on the train instead of just trying to figure out why it blew up? And it's like, yeah, I think they would have thought of that
if that was a way to go.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Don't they alter history forever eight minutes ago if they do that?
Oh, yeah, I guess that's the worry.
Right.
You can't alter history forever.
You're right.
Yeah, but don't you have to give people a pass at this point?
I mean, we're almost 100 years into movies.
It's just like, how many different ways
is there to tell?
Right, right. Why not just give up
entirely and go, here's a movie, two people
are on a date, let's call it Date Night.
And
we'll get a hilarious guy to play
a serious cop. Ray Liotta.
Ray Liotta, yeah.
And cars.
Yeah, that's sad that Ray Liotta is funnier in Date Night.
No, no.
He's got a funny side.
He's kind of funny sometimes.
You just burned the one bridge I had in this fucking business.
Oh, shit.
No, no.
I burned it more for me than I did for you, I'm sure.
I'm sure you just sat there and listened.
But, no.
You know, it's a fun movie.
Sorry, Brian.
It's all right.
I saw one of the greatest movies of my life Over the weekend
It was a moving experience
Do you see Young at Heart the documentary
No tell us about it
It's fucking fantastic
Here's the thing
What's it about
My wife had to do some very important work
Over the weekend
She needed it all quiet in the apartment
So I sat next to her on the couch on my laptop
Streaming Young at Heart
It's a documentary about the old people
who sing in a choir, like a chorus.
No, seriously.
It's a senior chorus, and they sing pop songs.
And they tour, and they sing rock and roll songs.
It is fucking adorable, and I'm laughing.
Genuine laughs.
It's really, really funny.
They're doing funny old people things.
And my wife's working away on her laptop.
I got my headphones in.
And spoiler alert, they're old people.
Some people die.
Oh, now I understand why it's sad.
I fucking bawled.
I sobbed.
I didn't weep.
I sobbed.
And she can't hear anything except for my...
It's so sad when the old people die.
What the fuck is going on over there?
You should have told her you were watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. No, I owned up to it. Because that one's so sad when the old people die. What the fuck is going on over there? You should have told her you were watching
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
No, I owned up to it.
Because that one's really sad.
I said between my tears,
we've got to watch this movie together.
It's so sad.
But you should all see it,
regardless of the tears.
So you're going to watch it again?
Absolutely.
It's fantastic.
That's something I've never done with a documentary.
I don't think I've ever watched a documentary
a second time.
I've seen Super Jaime 25 times.
Well, you know.
That's different.
That's celebrating a lifestyle.
People just put that on and they just
go get stoned and forget they even turned it on.
Guilty. There you go.
Right there in the audience. Are you guys looking forward to any summer movies?
Do you even pay attention to that sort of thing?
They're doing Godzilla, right?
No
I just guessed
It's the summer
Isn't that what they do?
That was a few years back
I thought they were making another one
It's fighting King Kong or something like that,
right?
Then Spock comes back.
I can't stay.
You know, I was like
the only one who
didn't like Star Wars
when I was a kid.
I just...
It was boring.
When they were in
the desert,
I just nodded off.
Like an old man.
When I was like eight,
I was just bored
shitless with it.
And I didn't like
C-3PO. I just didn't like C-3PO.
I just didn't like him.
Well, he's a son of a bitch.
I didn't like him.
He was...
Well, I could see that.
I could see that argument.
But you know what it was?
My parents were weird.
They didn't do like the
this is rated R, you can't see it.
So I'd seen Jaws at that point.
I remember my mother took us to see Scarface.
And I was like...
Well, she had no idea
what it was.
And we went in there
and after that chainsaw scene,
I was like in like sixth grade,
I was ready to leave.
My youngest brother
was probably like in first grade
sitting there watching this.
You know,
Chi Chi,
get the yay-ho.
Like all that shit going on.
So, yeah.
Now it's all on the internet.
Like when a kid's three years old,
they could probably type it in
And watch whatever they want
Anything they want
I liked Empire
It's a new world
That was the one I liked
Empire?
Empire Strikes Back
That's the one I liked
And then the last one
Those little things were singing
Oh yeah yeah
It was horrible
Return of the Dead
That's hilarious
That's a hilarious description of it
Most people hate them so much They remember what they're called was horrible. That's hilarious. That's a hilarious description of it.
Most people hate them so much they
remember what they're called so they could say
the name, but you're
like a gentle kind of hate.
All those little things.
They're so irritating.
You mean the fucking Ewoks.
Yeah, see, that's why I'm angry about them.
I wanted one.
Didn't you want one to get shot?
In fact, one does die. It did? Yeah, see that's why I'm angry about it. I wanted one. Didn't you want one to get shot? Oh my God.
Well, in fact, one does die.
It did?
One does die pretty violently. That's hilarious.
I want to sit behind somebody who's crying and laughing.
Here, Allison, put your hand on the table.
Just put this hand on the table.
So something violent can happen?
Okay.
No, no, no.
I'm just going to show you like the one Ewok dies,
the other one goes over to see what happened.
And it's like...
Oh, that's hilarious.
So that's why it's a podcast, because of moments like that
that people love to listen to.
I think everybody brought it home for people in their cubicle.
No picture was painted there.
Everyone's like, what just happened?
Wait, what's the, what just happened?
I think they're cute.
I don't like the Star Wars franchise.
Well, they're cute,
but it's a guy in a suit sort of way.
I don't know.
The whole Star Wars thing is very troubling.
It's very troubling how in Star Wars,
one thing is a really finely crafted,
amazing puppet or CGI creation,
and then something else is salacious crumb.
That's just this piece of shit thing that looks like it should be on The Muppet Show
and not in a realistic movie like Return of the Jedi.
All right, you guys.
We've got to play the Leonard Maltin game.
That's what we're here for.
I just want to tell everyone that I'm
terrible at movie trivia
games, but I'm happy to be here.
We always play totally
TiVo topical trivia.
I've been terrible every single time.
I'm on the Corolla show and Bald Brian's great at it.
Because he hosts a movie podcast.
We have quite a rivalry. I don't think
Bald Brian's great at movie knowledge because
he hosts a podcast. In addition to that, I don't think Paul O'Brien's great at movie knowledge because he hosts the podcast. Oh, in addition to that,
he's also, yeah.
I'm just pointing
at the juxtaposition
between me,
who knows everything
about facts of life,
and Paul O'Brien,
who knows everything
about every movie ever.
What does it say
on your shirt?
Allison Rosen
is your new best friend
who doesn't know
anything about movies.
It doesn't say
that last part,
but you could write it in.
I've got a Sharpie.
It just says Allison Rosen is your new best friend.
I think I have a Sharpie.
All right, well, you're going to win that T-shirt, folks,
if you win tonight.
You're also going to win.
I mean, you guys brought a ton of Adam Carolla swag.
You brought a hat from his show.
You brought an Adam Carolla podcast year two DVD sort of thing.
That's the whole year two
of the podcast.
The whole year two
of the podcast.
Holy crap.
I think there's a commuter mug
in there for when you're
driving to your crappy job.
Yes, a commuter mug,
some Ace Blend coffee.
Yeah, it's a bunch of shit.
It makes you very ranty.
I gave one of these away
a few weeks ago
and then somebody else
brought one now.
It's a drop stop
for in your car
if you're worried
you're going to drop
a joint between the seat and the thing.
It's a rubber thing that helps you to...
Dude, somebody made one of those?
Yeah. Why, did you have that idea?
Fucking unbelievable.
Fucking, I'm not even joking.
I'm not even joking.
That was like,
I was going to sell it, make a million,
have that bearded guy who's dead now
scream about it,
make my million, and then finance a movie
I wanted to make. If it makes you feel better, I don't
think they're making millions.
But they are protecting the gap and you.
They're protecting you guys.
They've got to have the commercial where the guy's always...
Could you imagine a half-hour infomercial just for this?
You could drop a joint. You could drop a cigar.
You could drop a nickel. You could drop a dime. You could drop a cigar. You could drop a nickel.
You could drop a dime.
You could drop a quarter.
You could drop a Cis and B. Anthony dollar.
Okay, we also have Doug Benson, Professional Humoridian.
Always available at astrecords.com.
You've got to be kidding me.
Someone's going to win a woot monkey, of course.
I can't believe that.
I'm going to shoot a woot monkey into the crowd right now.
Dude, look who my competition would be.
Look at those guys.
It's an owl monkey.
Good catch, good catch.
These are cool.
Yeah, I love woot monkeys.
Also, there's a backpack that they gave me
at the April Foolishness Kevin and Bean thing
that Bill Burr and I did.
Doug Benson killed.
Set of the night.
Oh, well, thank you.
Absolutely destroyed.
I would say the same about you,
but I had to leave
before you went on.
Nine hours into the show,
you killed.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
You didn't try to switch spots
and bump up and go earlier.
No, I didn't.
I took the slot they gave me.
You took it like a man.
Austin City Limits, sir,
because I was in Austin and they gave me one and I liked them.
And some hat.
Remember last week I said the same thing?
Some hat.
So, yeah, somebody's going to win all this stuff.
Oh, and from nice people at Griffin, they sent us, this is an iPhone case.
And I think there's some other Griffin product in here, but now I feel terrible
because I can't find it. Oh, there it is.
These are cool.
These are noise-isolated
earphones.
Like earbuds that have the...
Did someone just go, really?
Like, I am not buying it.
You're going to have to choose me to win those.
Because I am very buying it. You're going to have to choose me to win those because I am very cynical about them.
But it's from the good people at Griffin.
And we'll have some more stuff from them to give away
in ensuing weeks, I think.
Did people make these name tags before coming here?
Or they didn't bring stationery with them?
Some people scribble on some shitty piece of paper
they found out on the street.
But Pang, obviously, you don't find that on the street, a piece of paper that big.
And Pang is always here.
He tweeted something to me today, but I forgot what it was about.
We don't have time to get into it right now.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
Pang and Roozy, there's some names that pop up from time to time, and listeners love it.
Doug, I'm a fan of your podcast, so let me paint a picture for people who listen, because I never knew how it was laid out.
There are dozens, a couple dozen, a few dozen name tags out here.
It's kind of light tonight, actually.
Very elaborate.
Really?
Oh, this is light for a typical show?
Sometimes it's everybody, but tonight there's that guy didn't do it.
Tell me your name.
Let's say your name on the podcast.
But there are a lot.
But the thing is they go away when we're not
talking about the Leonard Mullen game and then they come back out.
So that always confuses
and disorients everyone.
That guy wrote his name on the back of that
sticker. So he's a top
contender. So anyway,
guests, please go out and pick a name tag
of a person you'd like to play
for and we gotta we gotta get into this because we're uh just just running short on time yeah
just go grab a name tag that speaks to you that's like uh you know you think has the most uh
creativity that guy got his phone back that's good this motherfucker here put it on a did you
guys like the movie do you guys like the movie Juno? Because Jenna makes hers
look like the logo for Juno.
Do I physically take this?
Yeah, take it from him.
And he's sitting right there so it'll be easy to find out who he wants
for a shit head. That one stuck out too but I couldn't read
what it said. Colin!
Alright, so
Allison picked one
that's a pretty good likeness of the logo
in my weird beard face.
And it says, Leslie loves movies.
Leslie, Doug loves movies.
Leslie loves them too.
Leslie loves movies too.
And then what's this Rubik thing that Brian chose?
What does it say on it?
Colin.
Colin.
Wow.
And it's all out of Rubik's Cubes.
Pretty good.
Oh, okay. But they're Rubik's Cubes sitting next to one another. Colin. Wow. It's all out of Rubik's Cubes. Pretty good. Oh, okay.
But they're Rubik's Cubes sitting next to one another.
Yeah.
Yeah, this guy needs to invest in a hot glue gun.
No, I don't want to wreck five Rubik's Cubes.
And who'd you get, Bill?
Morema.
Morema.
Morema.
It looks like a street sign.
Yeah, it looked like a street sign.
It was stuck out. Where's Morema from? She's fromma. It looks like a street sign. Yeah, it looked like a street sign. It was stuck out.
Where's Morema from?
She's from right over there.
And nobody...
And Morema Street.
Yeah, man, what part of the audience?
Yeah.
But none of them wrote their name on the back
for the shithead thing,
so the plan worked out great.
I was going to say earlier,
I think that the Fast Five,
the new Fast and Furious,
for some reason,
that looks good to me. something happened to me did I have
an aneurysm or something the adjustment bureau kind of looked good to me but I
heard I could never I was like a Reese we're supposed to be scared of guys all
wearing the same hat Jesus Christ you tough no I looked on you didn't like men Christ, you're tough. No, it looked all right.
You didn't like Men in Black either, did you?
No.
I'm going to see Adjustment Bureau on a plane, I'm sure.
And I'm going to hope that someone that's in it is sitting behind me and sticking their head through just during their parts.
Maybe it'll be John Slattery.
Anybody see His Way?
That documentary about that guy who made all the movies out here?
Oh, Jerry Weintraub?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen it, but it was on HBO.
Unbelievable.
Good stuff.
Unbelievable.
You saw that?
The way he worked it out with his wife and his mistress?
Unbelievable.
He worked it out with them?
He just sat them down and said, listen.
And just said, listen, you know how much this divorce is going to cost
when a city is screaming, I can take care of both of you?
And she's like, all right. You know how much this divorce is going to cost when a city is screaming, I can take care of both of you.
And she's like, all right.
And they both hang out in the same house.
He walks around.
I don't think he bangs his wife anymore.
He just hooks up with the other one.
And it all worked out.
And he's just like, yeah, I know.
He's just one of those guys. He's just like, yeah, I fucked around on you.
Sorry.
He produced all the
Ocean's movies. Ocean's 11 and 12
and 13. Yeah, he took Elvis out on the road.
He did Sinatra when Sinatra
performed in the boxing ring.
Somebody evidently doesn't like Sinatra.
Sinatra.
So I'm counting on...
I'm counting on...
I'm really hoping Paul Bryan will take this thing down quickly because we're running late. I'm counting on... I'm really hoping
Paul Bryan will take
this thing down quickly
because we're running late.
I don't want to go long
because Comedy Death Ray,
of course,
is coming up next
here at UCB
and they're very nice
to let me do this every week.
So let's...
But let's let Allison
start us off.
We'll start with Allison
and move that way.
Allison, you can pick a category.
Would you like Time Magazine named the best soundtracks of all time,
what they think they are?
So a movie with one of the best soundtracks of all time.
Okay.
Or Rainn Wilson suggested this on Twitter.
He thinks Gary Oldman and Tim Roth are the same person.
So I know the difference.
That's why this category is Oldman-Roth.
And then it's David Letterman's birthday.
And according to IMDb, he's been in three movies.
So I have those three movies loaded up and ready to go.
Oh, my God.
Which category would you like?
I'm torn between soundtrack and Letterman.
Well, pick one of them.
Letterman.
Okay.
Would you like a Letterman movie from 94, 96, or 97?
94.
And when I say Letterman movie, I mean he's in it from probably two minutes or less.
Because it's all just cameos.
You don't mean a Letterman vehicle?
Or it could be him on a television.
Like, I think they show him on television in Zombieland.
Like, there's a scene where Letterman's on the TV.
No, I don't want this one anymore.
How could that happen if there's zombies everywhere?
So I take it back.
Okay.
This movie is from 94.
Letterman is in it.
It got two and a half stars from Leonard.
I can't really argue with that.
He called it strange.
And he says
that
the star of the film co-wrote
the film's story.
Which is always an interesting credit when someone co-wrote the story.
I've got an idea.
Give me co-credit for
writing it. Okay, and there are
ten names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Allison Rosen from the Adam Carolla Show.
Eight, Doug Benson.
Good opening bid.
Bald Brian?
Negative one.
See now.
I knew this would be a bloodbath.
I knew this would be a bloodbath.
I gotta explain this crazy extra rule
to Bill Burr
Now you have to either ask Brian to name the movie
and he'll have to name the movie
and the lead actor
one name, negative one
or you have to go negative two names
so you have to name the movie and name
the lead actor and who the second Bill person was
Oh, negative two
Well now shit's getting real
it's like world series of poker i'm going all in all right so allison you have to either go
more negative or you can go ahead and basically win a point by saying to bill burr
Or you can go ahead and basically win a point by saying to Bill Burr, name that movie.
Name that movie.
Artie Lang, Dirty Job.
I love it.
I love the confidence.
I'm just going to sit and bask in it for a second. I would have believed it.
Plus, also, you have to name two names.
Oh, Terry Fletcher.
Ray Liotta.
Doug.
Yes, sir.
I want a spot in your tournament of championships.
Can I name the movie?
Well, you're already in.
Well, you're not really already in,
because you do have to be the one
that does end up having to name it.
So, I know, it's quite a technicality.
But go ahead and tell us what the movie is, just to show off. Cabin Boy. Cabin Boy, it's quite a technicality but go ahead and tell us what the movie is
just to show off
Cabin Boy
that's right
that took me back to high school
when the dude who did the homework
I know what it is
I just wanted to kill your momentum
just a buzz kill
even if you knew it was Cabin Boy
because you couldn't name it negative two names, could you?
I have no idea who else is in that movie.
Yeah, yeah.
The next billed name is Rich Brinkley.
Oh, Rich Brinkley.
Dick Brinkley.
Yeah.
So, okay, so...
Dick Brinks.
So Allison got the point on that one.
And since Bob O'Brien wasn't involved in that skirmish...
See, Leslie, it may not be so bad after all.
So I can keep killing him by going
just less? We both can.
Yeah, you could hand it to Allison.
It wasn't fair! And keep him
out of the tournament of championships at the same time.
I won't do that.
Would be a funny thing that
if you went back to Carolla's podcast, you
somehow lost. How'd you do?
Good? Question mark? Alright, Brian, you somehow lost. How'd you do? Good? Question mark?
All right, Brian, you get to pick the category.
Comic book movies.
These are movies based on comic books, graphic novels, and the like.
Punctuated titles.
That's movies where punctuation is in the title of the movie.
And a category called fishy.
Movies with the word fish in the title.
Which one of those would you like brian fishy okay would you like a fish movie from 1979 1988 or 1991
1991 you got it three the 79 movie three stars from
leonard malton has the word fish in the title he calls it expansive three stars from Leonard Maltin
has the word fish in the title
he calls it expansive
no wait expensive
I'm just kidding
it's expansive
he calls it expansive
and
and he says
that it's
unusual and absorbing.
Expansive, unusual, and absorbing.
And there are eight names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Brian?
Five.
Bill?
Four.
Allison? Three. Name? Four. Allison?
Three.
Name that movie.
I don't think that worked out the way you hoped.
The names are David Hyde Pierce, John Delancey, and Harry Shearer.
And it's expansive.
It's got the word fish in the title somewhere.
And it's unusual and absorbing.
Leonard gave it three stars.
Anything?
Is it Fisher King?
Yes, it is.
Allison is a winner.
Oh, my God.
Congratulations to Leslie.
Leslie Doug loves movies too.
Where's Leslie at?
She's over there.
Over there?
Okay.
I'll give her her stuff
because we've got to
figure out the shitheads.
Really quickly
before we go,
everybody plug something.
Like, Bill Burr,
what do you got coming up
to people?
Can they come see you?
You want to see
my latest stand-up special?
It's on Netflix
called Let It Go,
Uncensored,
and all that type of stuff.
Nice. Streaming on Netflix called Let It Go, Uncensored, and all that type of stuff. Streaming on Netflix, as the kids
say.
The Adam Carolla podcast
is streaming also now, right?
How do people look at it? Do they have to
pay to look at it, or is it free?
You have to subscribe, but periodically
and frequently, actually, we
make the streaming free.
So you can just go look and get a taste of it.
But you can also listen to it always on iTunes.
And we are doing all these live shows.
Every Thursday, almost every Thursday, we're at the John Lovitz Club at Universal City.
Almost every Thursday.
Almost every Thursday.
Sometimes Wednesday.
I did that once.
Yeah, I got Avatar on Total Trivia.
I got it with just just on an alien planet.
I buzzed in and said
Avatar.
Yeah.
That was great.
It was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
Okay, and then
anything else you guys
want to talk about?
My Film Vault co-host
Yes, Film Vault
with Anderson.
We are actually hosting
a very cool event.
We're going to be having
a summer trailer preview party.
We're going to be showing
some cool trailers and hosting it at a theater in carpentaria go to anderson and
brian.com brian with a y to check it out it's saturday april 23rd tickets just six bucks and
we'll show some awesome trailers and have a good time i love it anderson brian.com okay and where's
uh where's morema at where's she at she at? It's a girl, right?
Where are you at, Maurema?
I gotta find out who you want me to call a shithead.
Next week, you guys,
actually, we're gonna be back here in two weeks.
So, right on the back of your name tag,
who you want me to call a shithead?
Hang on.
Oh, okay. I got it. The first time she said it I was like
did she just say
but then I thought about it
and I went oh I know what she said
but yeah that's why I wanted everybody to write their names
on the back of them because that whole section
is always a bummer when I have to go around
and ask people and it gets really quiet
I thought it was good. I like the momentum.
You what? There was a lot of momentum as you did that.
Okay.
Alright, so...
Thanks once again.
Let's hear it everybody for Allison Rosen,
Bob, Brian, Bishop,
and Bill Burr.
Thanks you guys so much for doing the show.
I'll see you
in the world of podcasting.
Bonus episodes of Doug Loves Movies
and The Best Interruption, the podcast,
are available on iTunes in the comedy album section
and will be available soon at DougLovesMovies.com.
And as always, Boo Radley is a shithead
and Detective McNulty is a shithead.
Oh! Detective McNulty is a shithead.