Doug Loves Movies - Bill Simmons, Jon Hamm, and Adam Scott Guest
Episode Date: June 16, 2011Doug welcomes sports columnist Bill Simmons, along with actors Jon Hamm and Adam Scott. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/pri...vacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny candy, sticky seeds with
50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that people see.
Because Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles
in front of a name tag and sign carrying audience. Let's see what you got
over there. That's a big one. What does that say?
Brendan? Brendo man?
And why is it on such a big
piece of paper? It's all I had.
It's all you had. That's awesome. Somebody's got
a McDLT looking thing or just
a to-go box.
A French dip. Alright.
That's gross.
His name is Matt with the French dip.
Then there's this really big one,
and then his name is written really small on it.
What does your name say?
Steve Smith.
All right.
Well, when you have an exciting name like that,
you got to do what you can.
Jenna's back with another very creative one.
This is like a,
her name is coming out of one of those guns.
Like instead of pal, it says Jenna.
All right. I like to describe for the listeners name is coming out of one of those guns like instead of pal it says Jenna. Alright.
I like to describe for the listeners it's flag day
June 14th to Ocean's Eleven. Did anybody
make a patriotic
sign at all? No? Okay good.
Very nice times were had by me
taping two podcasts at the Main
Stage Theater in Chicago last Thursday and Friday,
Benson Interruption and the Douglas Movies, and they'll both be available in the comedy album section of iTunes.
And for iTunes ignorers, you can get it at astrecords.com and douglasmovies.com.
I also quite enjoyed myself in Charleston, South Carolina last Saturday night,
and I want to thank the people from Theater 99 for helping to put together my show over at the American Theater.
Now, there was a cliffhanger of sorts at the end of last week's ep with a bleep over one of the names that I called a shithead.
Who was here for that last week?
Was anybody that's here now hear that?
Okay.
So you heard what happened.
The idea behind the weekly naming of shitheads is that, you know, a consolation prize is given to people who lose the game, but their name tag was picked.
So then they get to call anyone a shithead.
Like, I will say it for anyone that they want me to.
I've never not said what the person wrote.
But last week, I wasn't on top of the news.
I didn't know there was a really horrible murder trial going on.
And I did not recognize the name of the woman who was on trial for murdering her own baby.
her own baby.
And so
in the moment I just thought, because sometimes
people say like a name of their friend
or something, so I thought, oh, this person is just friends
with someone
with this name and they just think it's
funny to call their baby a shithead.
Because it was funny
when
Elton John's
baby as a shithead was a funny one.
Everyone thought that was hilarious
because it's just like,
what a terrible thing to say about Elton John's baby.
But Elton John's baby is healthy and alive,
so I was okay with it and thought it was hilarious.
So the last week I put a bleep over the thing
because I would say it. It's not
like I wouldn't say it, but I would
then comment on how I feel about
saying it. I would say, this is inappropriate or this one's
terrible. And then I'd say it.
Because when I did say it last week, nobody really
laughed. A few people kind of groaned.
And then
a couple days later, I was watching the
news and
I slowly put it together.
Like, oh, no.
That baby's not a shithead.
So I hope that makes you all not mad at me for bleeping it,
because I do say horrible things all the time,
but everyone draws a line somewhere,
and for me, that's where I had to draw a line,
and I just want to say that the person
who tried to get me to make fun of a dead two-year-old
is definitely a shithead.
I have a little post-it that I put on top of the thing
that just says guest tips,
things I tell them backstage.
Because the guests are awesome that come on the show,
and so I have like 30 seconds with them backstage
to explain what's going to happen.
So this is what I said backstage tonight.
Name tags, pick one,
might have a shithead on the back.
So we'll see what happens. Because people have just been reading those shithead on the back. So we'll see what happens,
because people have just been reading the shitheads out loud
as soon as they see it,
and that's another funny wrinkle that I did not see coming.
Don't forget that my upcoming June 23-30 tour
will be filmed for the greatest movie ever rolled,
my latest ripoff of Morgan Spurlock.
I'm going to go out on tour to raise money
to make a movie about the tourer
who I raised money to make a movie.
It's very cyclical like that.
It starts in Ann Arbor, Michigan
and ends up in Los Angeles,
and those are the only two cities along the way
where marijuana is somewhat legal.
So that's going to be interesting.
All of the
dates of that tour are on DouglasMovies.com
It's week number four of me not
seeing Pirates 4
The Boston Stranger
and
I feel good.
I feel like I can go with it forever.
Alright, my guests tonight
might be familiar to you
if you like sports, movies, and television.
Please welcome two returning favorites
and one new favorite,
Bill Simmons, Adam Scott, and Jon Hamm. You're right, it's a handsome panel.
I came for Bill Simmons, thank you.
All right, that was...
Do you get scared by that kind of thing, Bill?
When there's
just a loner over there
going I came for Bill Simmons
I feel like the Chris Bosh
of this panel
alright that's the first one
that went over my head
me too
it was a good one though
trust me
oh I'm sure it was
no that's awesome
because I
I like the idea of just having you on the show
because it's my chance to ask someone who's a huge sports guy
with regards to the subject of movies.
What is your favorite chick flick?
Bill Simmons, ESPN sports guy
Pretty Woman
For reals?
Yeah
It's not a bad movie is it?
Pretty Woman's a good movie
It's about a hooker
Who hasn't really done
Enough sex yet
That she's damaged goods
She doesn't have a drug problem
And she wants to be rescued
And when it comes to the point
Where he's like
You know you can be my mistress,
and it's not good enough for her.
She wants the whole thing.
And it's a love story, and it works out.
So, yeah, I like that one.
This feels like we're on a talk show
where you knew I was going to ask that question.
I tried to throw you a curveball,
if I may use a sports thing, but...
Well, you know what?
Bill, I think you hit it out of the park.
Thanks, Bill. Appreciate it.
John?
Doug?
No, I was thinking you might have one.
A favorite chick flick?
No. Well, sure.
Or a sports metaphor.
Analogy metaphor Swish
That would have been really funny
If that's the very first thing you said
After he said pretty woman
Because then it would have a nice double meaning
Do you have one favorite ladies movie?
Rom-com?
Easy.
Well, there is some very specific nerdy action going on.
Some guy over on this side is like,
Kissing Jessica Stein.
That's a romantic comedy.
That your girlfriend made.
I want to marry both of you.
Was that all subtext?
No, the guy won't shut up.
He's very quiet, though.
I'm hearing it
and just repeating it.
I couldn't quite catch it.
It's like I have a thing
in my ear
and I'm a newscaster.
I don't have a favorite
chick flick at all.
I don't like them.
I don't go to them. I don't care for them period
what about did you see bridesmaids I did that's that's that the new that's the
new chick flick for me that's like to make it a moment made him all I think
it's a chick flick I'll say it out loud. It's ladies being ladies with other ladies at a wedding.
There's not a lot of manly men movies that do that.
There's not a lot of shoe talk.
Even the deer hunter, you know, there was a big wedding, but then people got shot in the head.
Well, any chick flick with Christopher Walken.
Yeah, that's true.
That was the category for a while, Dead Man Walken,
was movies where Christopher Walken died.
And there's a lot more of them than I thought.
And I didn't even go Pulp Fiction,
because, you know, that's a flashback,
and he's dead already in that part.
I wouldn't even consider that a movie where he died.
Do we assume he died in any hall
by driving across the road?
Oh yeah, that guy did not live
to be an old man.
That character.
I loved him in that.
Did he die in the ping pong movie?
Balls of Fury?
Was he a villain?
He was, so maybe he did die.
Did he die?
He passed on.
He probably choked on a ping pong ball. a villain? He was? So maybe he did die. Did he die? He passed on.
He probably choked on a ping pong ball
that was in somebody's scrotum or something.
Something disgusting.
I didn't see it.
Did anybody in the panel see Balls of Fury? No.
Okay.
I'm answering for the panel.
So you don't like chick flicks?
You don't like sports films?
I don't like movies.
You just don't like movies.
I should put it right out there up front early that I don't go to them.
I hate working on them.
And I just try not to patronize them.
Here's one I bet you saw.
Piranha 3D.
Wasn't a fan of the cast.
I didn't like anybody in that cast.
Well, Adam Scott is here,
and he was one of the
amazing people in that movie.
There are a lot of amazing people
in that movie. Yeah, it's got a
great cast, and I'm trying to corral
as many of them as I can to come down to CineFamily here in Los Angeles on July 31st.
It's a Sunday night.
Do you think you can do it?
I'm there.
He's in.
So Adam Scott is in.
Jerry O'Connell has something about his wife.
He has to go with her when she's making a movie because then he watches the twins.
Her boobs? Yeah. Switch. like he has to go with her when she's making a movie and he watches the twins her boobs yeah switch
is how do I need to see piranha 3d edges I think so if you're it's a Sunday night
I don't know if there's a sporting event happening that evening that you have to
cover is it a man's deep blue sea or you have to cover. Is it a poor man's Deep Blue Sea or a rich man's Deep Blue Sea?
It is a man with the same size pocketbooks.
Deep Blue Sea.
It's the same man's Deep Blue Sea.
Yeah, it is.
Although I dare to say that you'd probably be a little more intrigued because Deep Blue Sea made the fatal error of not killing women while they're topless,
which Piranha 3D accomplishes repeatedly.
Also, in Deep Blue Sea, if I remember correctly,
no one gets scalped with an outboard motor.
That happens in Piranha 3D?
Yeah, you saw it.
The mayhem in that movie
is so ridiculous
that if I had a multiple choice quiz
of what happened in that movie,
anything goes.
Anything could have happened in that movie.
When we're watching it at CineFamily,
I'll point to it while it's happening.
Yeah, please remind me.
Doug, this is the part you didn't remember.
So go to cinefamily.org.
Everyone's here now live watching this at UCB.
This is the first big sort of announcement about it in L.A.
So you can get all the tickets probably if you wanted them.
And then more people will hear about this when this plops on Friday.
Let's go back to Bill Simmons.
Let's go ahead and do it.
Greatest sports movie.
I think it's Hoosiers.
Ah, no.
Oh, my God.
I didn't say it to agree with you.
Airball.
Airball.
What I wouldn't give
for a vizvuzla right now.
What I wouldn't give
to be in Venezuela right now.
Some people say it's Bull Durham, but
I've seen Bull Durham in the Lifetime Network
and that automatically disqualifies me.
It's my room. It's more of a
chick flick than Pretty Woman.
Bull Durham is a chick flick where they
play baseball.
Hoosiers to me is you can jump in
at any point,
any scene in the movie
and just go right in
and follow it
for the last 45 minutes,
hour, whatever
and get caught up.
I get mad at the coach.
I've seen it so many times
that I get mad at the coach.
That dude fucking hates
Hoosiers so much
he just got up
and walked out.
Fuck this.
I don't know why that would be a disappointing pick to anyone.
I guess with sports especially, people are just very opinionated.
It seems like it's Hoosiers, the natural,
the first longest yard because it was like the groundbreaking sports movie
that's in there.
But then all of a sudden you get wild picks.
Like some people think Breaking Away is the best sports movie ever.
That's like the hipster pick.
The crowd is making the best noises tonight.
Yeah, I don't know.
I love Breaking Away.
See, that's the hipster pick.
But I don't know
if I'd make it number one.
I might go
Original Rocky.
First one that didn't get
any disagreement.
Not a lot of support either,
but...
I will say,
if you watch the Original Rocky,
it's pretty slow.
Oh, super slow.
That was the worst thing about Rocky 6,
is it was as slow as Rocky 1.
Right.
But at least they were both good while being slow.
And then Rocky 2 was so slow
that Adrienne actually went into a coma.
That's how slow it was.
She literally did.
And we had to go through the coma for like 12 minutes.
It was just coma footage of her in the bed in a coma.
I'm glad she came out of it, though, because I love her son.
I love all of his movies.
You know, the son aged eight years between Rocky IV and Rocky V.
I don't know if you ever noticed that.
Wasn't he also, in one of them, developmentally disabled or something?
Just briefly.
Oh, okay.
We found
a cure.
You got a disease. We found
a cure.
What's your favorite
sports movie, Adam?
Are you going to ask me what my favorite
chick flick is?
Is there one that's a combo
like Rudy?
You mean like a sports flick and a chick flick?
Yeah.
Yeah, Schindler's List.
Schindler's List.
Goal! I don't know.
I don't know.
I like your honesty.
Well, let me ask you guys this.
You shot a film Very recently
In New York
Adam and John
Sit this one out Bill
And that's sort of
A romantic comedy isn't it?
Yeah
Yes
What's it called?
It's called
Friends with Kids What's it about? It's called Friends With Kids.
What's it about?
People with kids that have friends.
Can I get an assist?
So they just dish it to you and you can drive the lane?
In all seriousness, it's about a bunch of friends that have kids.
But it's about that turning point where some have kids and some don't,
and some people are trying to decide if they want them, that kind of thing?
Yeah, basically.
It's a group of friends who start to have kids,
and then some of the friends don't have kids,
and what happens when all the people in your life start having kids
and you don't, and you feel like a total douchebag.
It reminds me of Friends with Money
where some people had money
and other people didn't have money.
It's also a lot like a movie, Friends with Benefits,
where some of the friends have benefits
and then some of the friends don't have benefits.
Oh, there's some benefitless friends
and friends with benefits?
A lot of friends don't have benefits.
Oh, shit.
Now I'm into it because I don't want to see...
What's her name naked?
Justin Timberlake?
Yeah.
Cool.
Let's make sure that I covered everything
that I needed to cover.
Oh, I have a favorite
online app trivia game
that I play every day. It's called Crank
with a Q.
Some other people apparently like it.
And Bill Simmons, have you ever
played it? It's got a
whole sports edition every day.
Crank? Yeah, and if you played it, I think you'd enjoy it.
It only takes a few minutes and it's a lot of fun.
But anyway, everybody should sign up
because the day this episode that we're taping
right now plops, for one week
on Crank, there's going to be just an individual
game that you can play a one
off if you will called Doug loves crank
and it's entirely questions about
me and this podcast
and I played it
and you can get like 12,000 points
on it or something like that I got like 8,113
or something like that
which is the highest score I've ever gotten on any
crank game
but still not anywhere near perfect.
By the way, if Doug Loves Crank was a movie, I would not go see that.
No, I'm a little worried.
That's not a great thing to be putting out there, that I love crank.
Because I am not a gateway person.
I did not go through the gate.
It would star Jason Statham though as you
So it would be totally fine
You would have to know that
Some bad guy sets it up
So he has to remain high or he will die
Oh that's going to be awesome
I'm going to start making some calls
So what do you say we play the Leonard Maltin game?
Yeah.
Yes.
It's a lot of signage tonight.
Is there a release date for Friends with Kids with Benefits?
No, it'll go to the festivals, hopefully Toronto.
Oh, Toronto.
Yes.
Are you guys both going to go there for the Toronto Film Festival?
Totally. Well, I'm going to try to go up there and tape
some podcasts up there, so maybe we can
hook it up. We'll be there. Absolutely not.
Alright, so John's in
for Toronto, but you're out.
But you are in for Piranha
on July 31st.
I'm not coming to Piranha. And you're not going to come to that.
Because you don't go to movies. No, I don't like them.
Alright, then I'm not going to Toronto. I really established
this, that I do not like movies.
I want to keep hammering that over the head.
Larry Zerner,
my friend Larry Zerner, who's been on the show, he suggested
that I use the Roger Ebert
has a new iPhone app
for the Leonard Maltin game. And I said,
are you crazy? Lenny's
my man.
Well, maybe for one week.
So I'm not going to spring it on you guys now,
but at some point,
we may pay a Roger Ebert edition.
You're not going to spray it on us right now?
Yeah, I'm not going to take it out
and spray it on you.
No, I'm not going to spring it on you,
I meant to say.
But someday, maybe there'll be an Ebert edition.
I don't even know
why I'm telling you guys that
that was boring
maybe that'll be
in the crank
the Doug Loves Crank
trivia
maybe
no no
the questions
have already been made up
but
I'm gonna put a really long
bleep over what I just said
I'm gonna bleep
that entire thing
people will lose their minds
thinking it was
something really important
we'll leave the door open for
Doug Loves Crank 2.
Also starring Jason Statham.
Well, yeah, because it can't, no matter how
high you get, you can't overdose on it.
That's the one where you can't get Jason Statham. You get like
Dolph Lundgren for that one.
A lot cheaper.
How does Dolph Lundgren end up being like
pals with the Expendables after he tried to kill
all of them?
That has driven me crazy. Do you think
they all looked at each other and went, who invited Jet Li?
We're a bunch of old, over 40 white
dudes, and there's this awesome young Asian star
Come on, man
I think Stallone wanted to tower over one person
In the cast, so that was the one
Alright, let's play the Leonard Maltin game
If you guys could pick some name tags
From the audience
Oh my god, what did that guy just yell?
Say it again.
Oh shit.
Jon Hamm picked the roast beef
sandwich.
That's pretty awesome.
If it wasn't for Jon Hamm, it would be a little on the nose.
This guy won me over by defaming two of the Lakers.
Oh, that's what just happened?
Yeah.
And what does his name tag say?
Ken.
Ken.
All right.
Good job, Ken.
He took a piece of cardboard and wrote Ken on it.
And it also has Woot on there.
Of course, I mention Woot every week.
And then what do you have there, Adam?
Check out what Jason made.
A Lincoln log.
It's a log with his name Jason spelled out in pennies.
I love it.
Don't turn it around because it's got a shithead on the back.
It's weird, though, because if you look at it up close,
you can't tell what it says,
but then you hold it back and you're like,
oh, Jason.
I'm going to go home and look at a bunch of pennies on my
desk and see
if they accidentally spell anything. You know the weird thing about
pennies, and this is totally true,
if you drop a bunch of pennies on
a table and it's only pennies,
no matter how you drop them,
they always spell out
a name.
they always spell out a name.
We also have the prizes here that are going to go to either Jason or Ken or...
What's the...
Matt.
Matt is the sandwich.
Chaser?
You guys know this movie, Chaser?
IFC Films contributed or gave me a bunch of movies.
Also another one called Summer Hours.
That's a Criterion collection, right?
Yeah, but the box and the name
seems like it's going to be a really long
feminine hygiene commercial.
And then John Hamm was nice enough
to bring something I don't think you're supposed to give away.
Watch this Emmy Awards
consideration.
It's never too early, Doug. watch this Emmy Awards consideration get the campaign going you're directing the first episode this season correct I am
you smoke more or less cigarettes doing that. That gig.
That's going to be tricky.
I remember when Priestley started directing 90210.
It was never the same.
I just want to make sure.
That's right about the time he started racing cars.
Anything to feel again.
So John signed one of these.
It's got Breaking Bad in it, which is an awesome show.
And he wrote, don't sell this on there.
And then the other one is signed by,
it's like a booklet with stuff in it about the shows on AMC,
signed by Adam Scott as Don Draper.
Yeah.
And I have wood monkeys as per usual.
And I'm going to shoot one into the crowd.
And...
You know, my kids had a couple of those wood monkeys
in our house for a while, and that fucking noise...
I drowned them in a bucket of water
the monkeys
the monkeys
really make that clear given doug's history with yeah there's gonna be so many bleeps in this
episode i just don't want anyone to call my kids
a shithead.
Well, we'll see.
Do you have a shithead on the back of this one?
No. Okay, so we'll figure out who the
shitheads are a little later.
There's not one on the back of the to-go box.
With the sandwich in it.
I think the sandwich is the shithead in this episode.
Highly possible.
Okay, so let's start down here with Adam,
then we'll move around to John and then Bill.
Bill is new to the game, but I have a feeling he's a strong competitor.
I'm not worried.
Nonetheless.
He's not even worried about it, you guys.
Of course, Adam and John have...
Adam's been great in the past.
John, you've done all right at this.
Yes.
Okay.
A gentleman on Twitter named
at J Spanbauer,
B-A-U-E-R, like Jack Bauer,
he suggested, since it's Flag Day,
movies with either the word red
or white or blue in the title.
So all the movies that have red, white, or blue
in the title.
Krzysztof Kozlowski.
He did all three of those, yeah.
And foreign films rarely come up
on this game.
And so
those are all wrong.
And that means Adam has three points.
That's the end of our game.
We did it, you guys.
Yeah, so you get two more categories to choose from, Adam.
We also have, it's Donald Trump's birthday on the day this is being recorded.
So that piece of shit.
He was in some movies, believe it or not.
I can't think of any
I mean I thought of three
but
and then
someone
what were the three
that'll be part of the game Bill
if I just blurt them out
right now
it would be silly
Krzysztof Kozlowski
and then your
third category would be
from a guy named Tight Five Five.
Which I want to know how similar that is to a Fast Five.
He suggested Potent Potables.
Popular Jeopardy category, but this would be movies
with some sort of alcoholic beverage in the title.
So which one of those would you like, Adam?
The red, white, and blue, Donald Trump, or
potent potables?
All three of these categories sound
awful.
Yeah, they don't really help to narrow it down.
Yeah, I'll take the third one.
Potent potables?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is it alcoholic beverages only, I'll take the third one. Potent Potables? Yeah. Okay. Is it alcoholic beverages only or
any sort of liquid?
It's all alcohol. Thank you.
Each one of these has an alcohol in it.
So what if it's Diet Coke?
Not only is
Diet Coke not alcohol, but also they've yet to make a movie with the name Diet Coke not alcohol,
but also they have yet to make a movie with the name Diet Coke.
Okay, got it.
There was a Coca-Cola kid, though, once.
Was it there?
There was.
Yeah, okay.
You get to pick a year, Adam.
Would you like 1988, 1997, or 2006?
I'll take 98, 2007
just make up your own years
and hopefully
I'll be able to quickly find something
88, 97 or 2006
I'll take 06 please
okay
Leonard Maltin gives this movie 2 stars
I can't really
I think it's better than that
he says that movie two stars. I can't really... I think it's better than that.
He says that it's way
over the top.
Yeah, seven A's in way.
I think
that's over the top.
But harmless
enough for the undemanding.
Which is, that's what I go for when I buy my movie ticket,
is something that I have to be completely undemanding.
And then also he says that Donald Sutherland appears unbilled.
And there are ten names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
This movie that has alcohol in the title.
Adam Scott.
Ten names?
Ten total, yeah.
Start the bidding.
Yeah.
I think I could probably...
Let's use the microphone.
I think I could probably get it in two.
Wow.
Strong opening bit.
So now Jon Hamm is stuck with having to say either name that movie or go lower into one or zero names.
Wow.
Didn't mean to throw you into the lion's den here, Bill, but these are your options.
You can either say to Jon Hamm, name that movie,
in which he will have to just name it
without hearing any of the names.
I'll read the clues again if he wants.
Or you could say, I can name that movie in negative names
and pick a number of how many names you think you can list
from the top of the cast list going down.
I'm going to say name that movie.
All right, good call. Beer Fest. The name of the movie is Beer Fest,'m gonna say name that movie all right good call
your fist the name is the movie is beer fest that's right John I was just gonna
tell you don't leave the games no I knew it too you know I said to only because I needed to stall cuz I I couldn't remember the name ready to go I knew it too You know I said two Only because I needed to stall
Because I
I couldn't remember
The name of it
But I knew it was
That movie
But I thought
It would somehow
Buy me time
If I said two
And I was just wrong
I just handed it to John
But I think no matter
What number you would have said
Any number
He would have gone zero
Because you had it
Yeah
But the problem was
I would have had to
Have named cast members, right?
To trumpet?
Yeah, yeah.
And I had to name one person
from that movie.
Donald Sutherland.
Yeah.
You know, you can't get away
with just saying Broken Lizard.
That would be great
if that was the first name.
Who was the top billed person
in that movie?
Forte?
Jay Chandraskar.
It's Chandraskar.
Who also, you know,
directs a lot of their stuff.
Maybe even this.
Yeah, he directed this.
It's funnier than two stars.
I'll say that for sure.
Okay, so Jon Hamm has a point.
I'm really mad now.
Jon, you step up.
When you don't win at this game, you walk away angry.
Well, first of all, you jumped out of order.
I don't know how we went from him to him to me.
Yeah, we're going around in a circle.
Clockwise.
I even said at the beginning,
we're going to go Adam, John, and then Bill.
But that's cool.
Bill, don't worry.
You'll be able to step up to the plate. Okay.
Adam gets to start us off again.
So this might create a vicious circle
where the same thing happens every time.
But I was just in Charleston, South Carolina,
and some films were either shot partially or shart.
They were either shot partially or completely in Charleston, South Carolina,
so I thought that would be fun to do.
In Theaters Now is a category about movies that are actually in theaters now,
hopefully a thousand or more theaters.
Just in a lot of theaters.
It's a category for the uninitiated
to make it a little easier for them.
Although I got fucked once in theaters now
because you chose a movie that was in one city.
It was probably Rabbit Hole.
No, it wasn't Rabbit Hole.
Because I got a lot of grief
because I gave Sam Levine grief
for when he ran the game.
Hey, off the dead kids, Doug.
Now, are you saying Sam Levine is dead now,
or you know something's going to happen
between now and Friday
when this episode pops?
Adam actually drowned Sam Levine in a bucket.
Going to do it Thursday.
I'm going to miss little Wolverine.
So anyway,
in theaters now or States,
that's movies where
a state in this
country of ours
here on Flag Day.
United States.
United States of America.
One of those
is in the title.
Which one of those
would you like to play, Adam?
I'll take the States.
Awesome.
Choice.
1978,
1991, or 1999?
Come on,
be a man.
What does that mean?
Go old school. Come on.
78?
Yeah.
Oh, that's what you're pushing for.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm going to be a giant pussy and go...
78, 91, 99.
I'm going to go
99.
All right.
Two stars for Mr. Leonard Maltin
for this movie that has a state in the title.
I don't believe I've ever watched it.
So, good call, Leonard.
He says that this movie
only has one actor that is able to rise above the material.
And he also says
that the person,
the main creative person involved
in this movie should stick to television.
I know. That's pretty fucking harsh,
especially considering how great television is.
Those shows on AMC should stick to where they belong on television.
Okay, so Adam, how many names
do you think you can get it in out of
11?
I'll go 5.
Strong opening bid.
Jon Hamm?
4.
Now Bill gets to play.
You can either make him name it or go 3.
Okay, 3.
Name that movie.
Alright.
Do you want the clues again?
Clues are 2 stars from Leonard Maltin.
One of the actors is the only one to rise above the material.
The man who, creator of this movie, should stick to television.
And your three names are...
Wow.
Little Richard. are Wow little Richard
The only movie I could think of that he was in was down and out in Beverly Hills and Beverly Hills is not a state
Mike Myers and Michael McKeon of Lenny and the squig toes so those are you three names yeah I think Mike Meyer
I'm not gonna say anything little Richard Mike Myers Michael McKean, and the state is in the title.
Got anything for us?
I don't.
Nothing?
No.
It's going to be an extra burn on you. I feel like I overbid.
It's an extra burn on you because it's a sports movie.
With Mike Myers?
Yeah.
What sport does Mike Myers play in his spare time?
Oh, I know what movie this is.
What is it?
Mystery Alaska.
That's correct.
Mystery Alaska.
What was Little Richard doing in Mystery Alaska?
I don't know.
He must have maybe like,
maybe like it's a shitty team,
so like he sang the national anthem or something.
I would pay money to see that guy on skates.
I think he would do it for cheap.
Oh, Tootie Fruity, Tootie Fruity.
Okay, so...
I should have gotten that one.
Little Richard threw me off.
I would have been thinking Hockey with Myers,
but the Richard thing...
It's a tough game in that sense.
I actually like Mystery Alaska.
I would have given it two and a half stars.
Didn't Jay Roach direct it?
Yeah, yeah, it was directed by Jay Roach.
Russell Crowe is the star.
Didn't Adam Scott just get a second point?
No, he's got one point.
One point. Jon Hamm has a point.
We're still going.
Keep the microphones hot.
So who was not involved in that little
skirmish? Jon Hamm was out
of that one, so we'll let you pick the next category.
Would you like a movie that has
who, what, where, when, why, or how in the title?
Or the films of Michael Rooker?
He was a guest and I'm obsessed with him now.
And let's go back to Charleston, South Carolina.
Because I had a great time there.
Which means in theaters now?
No.
Movies that take place in Charleston, South Carolina.
I will go, who, it's who, what, where, when, why, or how.
One of those words is in the title.
That.
You got it.
Not that is not in the title.
No, no, no, it's not in the title.
It's not who, what, where, when, why, or that.
Would you like a who, what, where, when, why, or how movie from 1971, 1980, Where, When, Why or that. Would you like a Who, What, Where, When, Why or How movie from 1971, 1980 or 2008?
What was the first one?
71.
My birth year.
Yes.
1971.
Here we go.
You know everything about your birth year.
Just what it is.
All right.
I'm going to tell you guys right now,
I'm going to put a timer on guessing this answer
because I'll be stunned if anyone gets it.
We got a show to end.
Two stars from Leonard Mullen.
I don't know.
I was very little when it was out.
He calls it a sickie.
He calls the movie a sickie.
That's the first word in the review.
Sickie. How does he spell it? With a Y
or an I-E? I-E.
It's a sickie about. I'm not going to tell
you what it's about. And then
he also says that it's
um
Wow.
One of the characters in it is Daffy.
He's really pulling out some old words.
For this movie from 1971.
You mean Daffy Duck, right?
I don't think so.
It's a small D.
Two stars, like I said, 1971.
It has who, what, where, when, why, or how in the title.
And there are only six names.
How many names do you think you can get it in Jon Hamm seven if one of the names is
the first letter word of the title six six six six six six I'll start with six. Sean says six. BS, what do you say?
I'll go five.
Name that movie.
Oh, mother.
Oh, the Lincoln Log paid off, Jason.
Because this is going to be tough.
Don't say things out loud.
Don't ruin the game.
Okay, your five names are Hugh Griffith, Lionel Jeffries,
Ralph Richardson, Chloe Franks,
and Mark Lester.
I'd argue to say the one remaining name
might tip it,
but this is from 1971,
and it has one of those words in the title,
it's sicky and it's daffy.
Well, you got your wish
for the old movie.
It's a little too old. Yeah, yeah, too old and too weird.
I'll say What's Up Doc?
That's a good guess, because it has the word
what in it, and I bet it came out
three or four years after that.
Yeah, yeah, it's a very good guess.
Does anyone here think they know it?
Come on.
It's brutal. Who does?
Who slew Auntie Rue? That's correct.
Wow.
A dude in the audience just said,
Who slew Auntie Rue?
I have never heard of that movie.
I put that one in there just to fuck with everybody because
I've heard that title a bunch of times in my life,
but I've never actually seen Who Slew Auntie Rue.
And the star of it is the late, great Shelley Winters.
Yeah, so I don't know if that would have helped at all.
No.
She's a Shelley Winters fan over there.
Oh, okay.
But congratulations to...
So who won?
Adam won.
Adam Scott won for Jason.
Now, is Adam going to keep
the name tag Jason
are you going to
go home penniless
alright that was fun
that's funny
because backstage
I was just talking
about how annoying
it is when people
win by just
saying name that movie
and that's exactly
what I did
you know life is
crazy sometimes
maybe we'll have you compete against some audience members and that's exactly what I did. You know, life is crazy sometimes.
Maybe we'll have you compete against some audience members
on July 31st at CineFamily.
Here you go, Jason.
Congratulations.
I want to take a picture of this thing.
Do you guys have anything to plug?
Did you say a release date for,
oh, you're going to Toronto
and the film festival's and the movie will be out later?
Bill has a new, you have a new website?
New website, grantland.com, sports and pop culture.
I'm so excited about half of that.
And Chuck Klosterman's writing on there, right?
And Michael Schur writes tomorrow.
Oh, he does, really?
Yeah, he wrote a big piece about watching cricket for like 36 straight hours.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And Michael, of course, he runs Parks and Rec.
Parks and Recreation.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's coming back, right?
More Parks and Rec?
Yeah, we start in July.
Yeah.
All right, I got a picture of that.
So we need the shithead names for these two.
So the two people that they were playing for,
Ken and Matt, if you could come over here
and just jot those down for me
on this piece of paper, I would appreciate it.
Here, let me give you a pen.
Do you have good penmanship? Will I be able to read it?
All right, there you go.
Which one are you?
Ken is writing a name.
There you go.
Oh, he brought his own pen
And he also is wearing a shirt with an at-at on it
So congratulations on being
If I were into men
That's the first time someone's like apologizes
They walked away
To someone on the panel.
Let me just make sure I don't have any other announcements or things I've got to make.
There will be another new show here next week with more amazing guests here at UCB.
And don't forget to play Doug Loves Crank on Crank.
Oh, you can play Crank on your iPad, iPhone, or iPod Touch. Soon it'll be on other things, I think. But for now, those are the only places you can play crank on your ipad iphone or ipod touch soon it'll be on other
things i think but for now those are the only places you can play it uh that's it one more time
for john ham first timer tough competitor bill simmons he really brought it adam Adam Scott, of course, our winner. And as always, Larry Bird is a shithead.
And Adam Scott is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies