Doug Loves Movies - Bobby Lee, Julian McCullough and Megan Neuringer guest
Episode Date: December 24, 2015Back at the UCB Theatre in LA, Doug welcomes comics Bobby Lee, Julian McCullough and Megan Neuringer to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notic...e at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby-sweet cheese seats
With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
You guys got the part.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater, Franklin Avenue location.
Is the lighting weird tonight?
Is it just me?
I kind of like it, whatever it is.
It seems a little moodier than normal.
Seems like we're about to do an episode of Charlie Rose.
This desk out here.
We're at the UCB Theater, Franklin Avenue location,
Los Angeles, California, Wednesday, December 23rd.
You guys are hanging out.
I appreciate you being here.
I know people have shit to do.
Let me see those name tags, Los Angeles.
Oh, boy.
There's some good ones.
There's some big ones.
There's a bottle.
Sideways.
You put sideways on a bottle.
That's clever.
What's your name?
Sideways girl. Oh's clever. What's your name? Sideways girl.
Oh, Sid.
What?
Sid.
Sideways.
Sid?
Yeah.
Your name is Sid?
Yeah.
Sidney?
No, Sid.
Sid.
Just Sid.
I told you his fan name.
All right.
All right.
Like sudden infant death?
That kind of Sid?
Sid?
Like sudden infant death?
That kind of sad?
What is... Okay, so there's a movie called Yes Man.
And your name is Yesenia?
Yes.
So it's Yesenia Man.
And then you put huge candy bars all over it.
Like I would...
If I ate that sort of thing,
I would totally get... pick that name tag.
I'll be shocked if it doesn't get picked.
Let me think about who's up here.
Oh, no.
Maybe they don't need any sugar.
There's a light-up one over there.
Is that kind of a Nightmare on Elm Street situation?
Or what's going on in there?
It's Scrooged, Bill Murray.
He looks kind of like Jack Skeleton. bit all right you guys good job doug's plugs san diego my sweet home this sunday
doug loves movies at 4 20 and looking ahead to january i'm going to be on at midnight on comedy
central all week january 4th to the 7th taking on all comers i think they're going to be on At Midnight on Comedy Central all week, January 4th to the 7th, taking on all comers.
I think they're going to call it the Benson Bowl.
I think that's what they decided.
If you're in L.A. on those dates,
go to oncameraaudiences.com for free tickets to a taping.
Come by and watch me defeat my friends.
Jonah Ray, Matt Besser.
I'll think of some more.
Let's see what's in the prize bag.
I stopped by Planet, Daily Planet,
is that what it's called?
The bookstore cafe, or not a cafe,
but books and magazines on the corner.
I stopped in there.
They had a copy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas,
just sitting there by itself on the shelf.
And I was like, well, that's a goddamn classic,
and it should be in somebody's home for Christmas.
So I bought it.
Yeah, I really go all out for you guys.
Somebody gave me this shirt for free,
so I put that in there.
It says Mustang on it.
Douglo's Movies shirt that's an irregular size.
It doesn't sell very well.
And the true Christmas miracle,
and our brand is Crisis Button.
In theaters October 30th.
Check it out.
There's a lot of Oscar buzz on Sandy for that one.
See how that pans out.
Let's get my guests out here, because they've hopefully got some great stuff to contribute to this sad bag.
This sad dry cleaning bag.
This isn't even a dry cleaning bag.
This is from Pink Dot.
Had to ask for extra bags.
She was nice enough to give them to me, but gave me a real weird look.
Please welcome Julian McCullough, Megan Neuringer, and Bobby Lee. Bobby!
Hey, you guys.
Hello. Hi.
How's it going? Anybody can answer that one. Just. Hi. How's it going?
Anybody can answer that one. I mean.
Just jump in.
Bobby just asked me, like, what movie I liked in the last year, and then I couldn't think
of it, not because I don't like movies, and then last five years.
He said last ten years.
And then last ten years, I was like.
And then I was like, I saw something on a plane, and I was like, I'm not prepared for
this show.
You'll be all right.
I mean, it's, you know, Bobby's a real, you know, a real interrogator.
Thank you so much.
And he was, I don't come at you that hard.
My questions are more vague or trivial.
I know, but my Christmas memory, that's what I'm saying.
The craziest part about that conversation was you said, it made me cry, and you still couldn't remember what it was.
I can't remember the last time I cried, and it didn't scar me.
Whatever it was scarred me for the rest of my life.
Like, I've cried six times.
Oh, I've got to open you up.
Wow, you are, yeah.
You're an emotional brute.
Doug, I have a question.
Haven't you seen Marley and Me?
That was the movie.
Let's meet everybody really quick
here with a question. It's Bobby Lee,
everybody, returning to the show.
First time
in Los Angeles. It is, yes.
Thank you. That's exciting. Very exciting.
Glad I caught you. I have a question.
Please. Am I replacing somebody?
What does that mean? Because you called me
last night. Oh, but
I probably called...
I bet you I called Megan a day or two ago.
Yeah.
And Julian's been on for this one for a while.
Yeah, six months.
No, I'm grateful that you called.
I'm just...
Okay, let's move on.
I just, you know...
You just start playing little, you know,
booking games in your head.
You don't want to waste a lot of time.
So I'm like, well, who's going to be just in LA two nights
before Christmas and happy to do a show?
Oh, and you know what I also figured out
while you were around?
Because you had a set last night or tonight
at the Comedy Store.
Yes.
I went on the Comedy Store website,
and I went, I'll find somebody that's around,
instead of asking people that are just going to say, no,
I'm at home with the family.
And that's how it came about.
Well, it's really great to be here.
Okay, you were in something called Fudgy Wudgy Fudge Face?
Yes.
What is that?
I played a kangaroo.
I really did.
It was Harlan Williams.
Oh, okay.
And what was the name of the kangaroo?
I forgot.
He picked me up, and we drove into the desert,
and they had me in this trunk of his car.
And he had, like, an iPhone, and he goes, just do it.
And then I did it, and then it came out.
All right.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
I'd like to ask you about more of your films
and how they were made.
Did it get nominated?
No.
No.
For anything?
It's award season.
Maybe a Razzie or two?
Is it a feature or short?
It was a feature,
but it's like,
I don't know,
like whenever Harlan calls,
I'll just do it
because he's such a nice guy.
Yeah, Harlan's the best.
Sometimes I just do faves
for friends and stuff.
Yeah.
I've been in other things.
Well, let's meet
Megan Neuriger, everybody.
Also, these are all repeat offenders here on the show.
She's been on before.
She knows what's happening.
She's worried that she doesn't have enough movie knowledge ready to go.
Don't.
But you look like you're very comfortable.
You look like you have a nice winter outfit on.
I'm cozy.
Right?
It's a cozy, it's kind of a blanket-y kind of looking thing.
Yeah, I'm trying to keep it cozy.
Yeah, it's nice.
Was this or a thunder shirt?
Only dog owners know what that is.
Oh, my God.
That's like a really tight dog shirt that keeps them from shaking when there's thunder?
Yeah, it's a shirt that feels like a hug so they don't have like an anxious breakdown.
Oh, my God.
Thunder shirt?
Why don't they make them for humans?
I can't.
Underarmor. I guess, right? humans? I can't. Underarmor.
I guess, right? Yeah. I can't get over
shaky dogs. Huh?
I feel really bad for shaky dogs.
I'll ask the owner right away. Is this a dog
shaky all the time or did something just happen?
Because the ones that are shaky all the time,
like usually chihuahuas, that's
just how they are. What are you going to do?
Put your tongue back in and stop shaking? What are you going to do? Put your tongue back in and stop shaking?
What are you going to do? Jamie Lee,
the comedian, she has one of
my favorite jokes of all time.
It's risque, but it's like,
chihuahuas just are the dog that
looks like they've just been raped.
I think that's her, but it is...
I like how in a joke where the punchline is the word
raped, you say it's risque. Because that's her, but it is... I like how in a joke where the punchline is the word raped, you say it's risque.
Because that's not
a foul language, per se.
But it's a...
It's not naughty. Rape
isn't naughty. It's awful.
It's... yeah.
I think five years
ago that joke was risque.
I got raped the other night. It was so risque.
Five years ago, that joke was used. I got raped the other night.
It was so risque.
I was like, oh my.
I'm sorry.
I should ask you a more serious question.
How's your holiday going?
It's great.
It's super great.
I'm going to take a little vacation
and see some of the California coast
on Christmas Day.
I'm going on a honeymoon.
I'm taking myself on a little honeymoon.
Really? You married yourself?
I'm just going. I'm going to look at the coastline
and stay in a hotel and eat seafood
with my bare hands.
What's going to be on your feet?
Don't worry about it.
You don't have to answer that.
Is that for the internet,
or do you want to know?
Fucking pervert.
Who wants to know?
I just,
whenever feet come up,
you know,
well,
I just brought it up,
but.
It was very risque.
It's just a good word
to throw in there,
you know,
in the search engines,
you know,
if someone's looking
for new feet material,
it's like, Megan on Doug Lowe's movies.
It's fun.
It's fun.
It sounds like a great Christmas.
I like ignoring Christmas.
That's like a thing I like doing.
So I legally have to.
I like all the, I like the music and I like the general, everybody being nice.
I like driving over here tonight.
There was no traffic.
It was pretty cool. Oh, I love it. It liked driving over here tonight. There was no traffic. It was pretty cool.
Oh, I love it.
It's magical.
Are you kidding?
It's magical.
I give the homeless at least a smile with the dollar.
I do.
I give more.
I give more.
Right?
I tip more.
They need both of those things.
To everybody.
Everybody gets a big tip during Christmas.
That's cool.
Does that sound gross?
You guys instantly turned.
I think it's a nice
thing to do
but is it gross
to say out loud
where did I lose you
I think
maybe we're all
lost in the fact
that we still have
one more guest to meet
Julian McCullough
is here everybody
hey
and he loves
you know how I love movies, right?
Julian loves music.
Like, he's super into music.
I'm a nerd about it.
So we're talking about, would anybody think it would be fun to listen to, like, a spinoff or sister podcast or whatever you call it of Julian Loves Music?
podcast or whatever you call it of Julian Loves
Music and it's games
all based around
questions about music.
Would that be fun? Does that sound
fun? I think it sounds
fantastic. I think people are
super into music. I think music
as much as I love movies
music is more instantly
a day changer. You hear the
right song at the right time.
Music has made me cry six times.
Seeing the right entire feature film.
I think it could be a fun show.
So we're in talks to make that happen.
I can name a song I've listened to in the past 10 years.
Name it.
Yeah, what was the last song you heard?
This band called Pale Honey.
They have a song called like 0100.
It's on repeat.
Why is it so good?
Oh, it sounds like a lady.
Who's the guys who did Young Folks?
Can you find it in the booth and we'll listen to a little piece of it?
Yeah, they're like a Swedish lady band.
Just throw it on no matter what's happening.
Pale Honey.
The longer it takes, the happier I'll be.
It's great.
Because I'll have completely forgotten.
I'll be like, why the fuck is this music playing?
Pale Honey sounds like one of those things where six years into liking the band,
you're like, oh, that's what Pale Honey means?
Ew.
Oh, shit, here we are.
Good job at the booth.
This is so special.
We're all going to make it out right now.
This is super, super hot.
Who does she sound like?
The girl who sang for Peter, Bjorn, and John.
Sixpence none the richer.
Letters to Cleo.
You ruined my night.
All right, that's enough of that No no no
Chorus
Oh we're getting to the good part
I was like
He's gonna blow it
Before the chorus
And it's gonna ruin everything
Okay now
Now you can do it
This is the kind of fun
We'll have on
Julian Loves Music
By the way
I liked Pale Honey the first time
when they were called the Cardigans
but I'm totally kidding
I've got to get on your podcast
because I'd love to talk shit to your face about your music
Okay
It'll be really confrontational
Alright, we got our first booking
We'll get Megan on the first episode
You guys can go at it.
The sound in here is really nice.
I could just come here to listen to music sometimes.
Are you guys busy a lot?
Music makes everything better.
Doesn't it?
Yeah.
My show was just
at its apex.
What did you bring for the
prize bag, Julian?
I brought screeners, but not the fun kind i
brought the book version of all the movies that are out of uh some big movies so i have steve jobs
if here's why i brought it it's not just because i'm trying to get these out of my house it's
because if you guys are gonna go whoever gets this can go home for the holiday and have something to do with their family.
You pass the scripts around and you can act out Steve Jobs, you know, and you know, and once somebody gets parts for all ages in there.
Yeah. And you can do spotlight about the about the molestation scandal in Boston.
And then you can like cast the right family member to be the priest
or whatever and then you could my favorite you try to get the local church group to do it
holiday presentation i have not seen joy but i've seen the trailer like 97 times because it was
before every movie every other movie that we saw like this season and there's that scene that always
makes me so uncomfortable where she's's quiet and doing that line,
do you guys know what I'm talking about?
Where she's like, the whole trailer stops
for like 30 seconds, and she's like,
don't ever talk for me about my business again.
It takes forever, and you're like,
what movie am I here to see again?
But anyway, you can do that line with this book.
I heard it's got a lot of yelling.
Really? Which wouldn't come through in the book
probably. I mean, you can
make your own choice about how you're going to play each character.
It's a lot of fun.
Sounds great. Pass them down.
Thank you.
And on Julian Loves Music,
the guests will have to bring like uh something from their
music collection that they don't want anymore like an old t-shirt of a band that they're
embarrassed about or an mp3 or an mp3 or just yeah they could record them singing a song into
their phone and email that to you. Something that no one would want.
What'd you bring, Megan?
I brought the screenplay of my least favorite movie of the year.
It was You Guys Are the Trash.
So I brought that.
And then I brought a...
So we're not allowed to say out loud what movie it is?
I don't know that I'm supposed to give them away.
Where does it say? I just went know that I'm supposed to give them away. What does it say?
I just went through every...
That's on you. I like my WGA insurance.
Shooting script.
It doesn't say shit about what you can do with it.
It does. It gives you a little notice
in the package.
Oh, in the package.
Oh, no!
What have we done?
Give them back.
You gotta give them back.
You gotta hang on to these.
Give them back.
If you're a lawyer at home.
You're family.
You're family.
We're gonna hang on to them.
You guys can't have them.
I'm gonna,
this goes right back.
They're not in the bag.
They're not in the bag.
They're watermarked
so they are traceable
back to you, Julian.
Oh.
Just kidding.
I don't know.
And then I also bought
an 18 month calendar.
Never been touched.
2016 yoga puppies.
Every single month on this calendar has a puppy doing only downward dog.
Just kidding, there's different poses.
But they're mostly, I'll tell you what.
Don't open.
Stupid as hell.
You're going to love it.
I'm almost sad giving this away.
It's going to be a great year
for whoever wins this tonight.
It's really terrific.
Then when people will be like,
are you available?
You can say, well, check my calendar.
It's pretty flexible.
Bobby brought something pretty cool
for the prize bag.
Okay, so...
I'm pretty impressed.
Okay, I have a girlfriend
and she has...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All the women are weeping.
Yeah, yeah.
She has a vagina and everything.
And she really does.
And the thing is this, is that she has a stepdad,
and he gave me a Christmas gift last Christmas,
and I found it underneath my bed.
And I don't really want it, but don't tell,
but he's a good guy, so don't say anything.
But it's like a rock'em sock'em.
Yeah.
Rock'em sock'em.
And it hasn't been opened.
And these two little white kids look like they're having fun.
Look at that.
Look at them.
And then that's that.
So, you know.
I feel like the crowd was more excited by that than the script for Steve Jobs.
It's a weird bunch.
Some weird folks coming out.
No, this is a
cool thing and I like
you guys really made this a nice
prize bag. You even brought a bigger
bag for me to put everything into
that says Brookstone on it.
No
sweets. It's a holiday show and there's not
any cookies or candies in there.
That's nice.
I almost bought cookies. People give you all that shit then you eat that's nice. I almost got cookies.
People give you all that shit, then you eat it.
You seem like you bake cookies.
Oh, I wasn't going to bake them.
I had like a half package of mint Milanos
that I was like, can I bring this?
And I was like, no.
It opened.
Yeah.
I was like, what?
You know.
I mean, like half this audience would be like, that's cool.
And then the other half would be like
fuck you
they wouldn't get them anyway I'd eat the other half
right here
right now
alright so
I gotta ask each of you guys real quick
we're doing good on time
have you seen any
movies lately
Monday I saw...
Is that me?
Sure.
Okay.
Monday I saw the Star Wars...
Could you please wait your turn?
What?
Wait your turn.
Star Wars Force Awakens?
Yes.
And you liked it?
I gave it a B-.
B-?
Yeah.
That's better than not...
That's better than average.
That's better than average, yeah.
Slightly above average.
It's well done, and I'm a huge J.J. Abrams fan.
I think the end fucked me up a little bit.
There was one moment I want to give it away,
but I thought that Chewie should have been more upset.
Whoa.
No, he was just, I didn't say nothing.
That's some heavy spoilage.
Oh, I should leave.
Oh, don't go.
That's not.
Bit of a spoiler.
It's not a big deal.
He took a shower in someone else's house
and they didn't have any shampoo.
That's all that happened.
I got to say, the trailer, for me,
was full of spoilers.
As I was watching the movie, I was like,
well, that guy's gotta show up and that guy's gotta see him
and that's gotta happen because I saw that shot in the trailer
that we haven't seen yet in the film.
So that's why I avert my eyes during the trailers now.
I try not to watch.
But this one I just watched a couple of times
and I remember that part where I went over to him.
It was like, hey.
Self-keeping.
Because it's weird.
What is the statuette of limitations?
When can we start saying Star Wars spoilers and not get people angry at us?
Give it two weeks.
Two whole weeks?
Can I say this?
It's already made, what, $600 million in three days?
Yeah, it's so fucking huge.
It's already there.
Like, you can totally just talk.
It's playing every 20 minutes, right?
Who's seen it?
Round of applause who's seen the movie?
Round of applause.
Round of applause who hasn't seen it?
I'm glad you raised your hand up while saying that.
You haven't seen it.
Round of applause.
Why?
Round of applause.
I haven't yet.
What?
I just haven't yet.
She just hasn't yet. She's busy going to podcast tapings. My bad. Can I tell you. I haven't yet. What? I just haven't yet. She just hasn't yet.
She's busy going to podcast tapings.
Can I tell you why I haven't?
Because I think that there would be less of a chance ISIS gets me in the theater if I just wait a minute.
So I didn't want to go opening week or weekend.
I'm not going to a fucking Star Wars movie opening.
They really do like those opening weekends, don't they?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm not.
I'll go in a month.
It's funny to think of a group of dudes from ISIS
waiting in line overnight, like camped out
in Star Wars outfits to be like,
no, no, no, we're totally into the movie.
But that's why they don't,
at least my friendly neighborhood theater,
doesn't allow costumes or props.
Right, because of ISIS.
Any of that shit, yeah.
They fucked it up.
Not even backpacks.
Well, that's the shadiest costume of all.
I've got to go to that theater.
I'll feel calm in that theater.
Yeah.
I'll wear my Thunder shirt to that theater.
They've got a couple of guys in red coats that looks like they were awarded that at a country club
that stand around around the lobby and
berate anybody that comes in in costume.
I'd like to see that, like, just
footage of that happening all day long.
Like Princess Leia's being
turned away
for having a costume on.
Yeah, exactly. It's not fair.
It's not right.
You liked it, though, right?
B minus, B minus.
Yeah, no, I'll give it a B.
So what are you busy watching, Megan,
instead of Star Wars?
Oh, I remember one of the movies
that I saw on the airplane during Thanksgiving.
And it was that movie with magic,
with like the people that are like robbing people via magic.
What was that movie?
Oh, Now You See Me.
What?
Now You See Me. Now You See Me. What? Now You See Me.
Now You See Me was the
dumbest movie I've
ever seen in my life, but it was
like I couldn't stop watching it.
I literally started drooling.
I got so dumb watching
it. And then I was like,
are we...
Mark Ruffalo, are we still...
He is making bad choices all the time.
This is okay?
I liked Infinitely Polar Bear.
I didn't see it.
And he's a good Hulk.
I feel like anybody in that movie shouldn't be allowed to be in movies.
That movie was so bad.
You're done.
Which one?
Now you see me?
I like all of those actors.
It's just silly.
It's just the movie's too silly.
The director of the movie, Louis Letierre,
who also did transporter movies,
he knows how to make fun movies,
but he came to the Benson movie interruption
at Cinefamily of Now You See Me
and stood around and chatted with us
backstage on the patio afterwards about how much
he enjoyed us completely shitting
on that movie. We tore it
apart and he was just like,
that was great. He's like,
for the sequel I just want to have the premiere
here. There's a sequel?
No, they're making another one.
And it's not called Now You Don't
either.
It's fucking Now You Don't either. It's fucking
Now You See Me Too.
Now more see-me-er.
I hate that movie.
I can't believe
they're making it.
The see-me-est one yet.
Oh shit.
Well yeah,
it's a crazy ass movie
but I thought
all the actors committed okay to it.
Oh, yeah, great actors.
So silly.
It's my dream to be, like, emotionally healthy enough
to go see a theater of people rip my movie apart
and be like, that was great.
Like, I would, you know what I mean?
I don't know any comedians that would be able to handle that.
Yeah, it's, well, but it's, you know,
hopefully it's just one movie, you know,
like, out of, I mean,
like I said, I like all of
their work, generally.
All those people in that movie.
Right, yeah, but I'm just saying. But it's not their
fault, right? I mean, they read the script. The director?
It's the director's fault, right?
That's who we're talking about, Bobby.
I don't know.
The script was dumb. It's a lot of people's fault. The script was dumb.
It's a lot of people's fault.
It's a lot of people's fault.
It was dumb.
Sometimes it's our fault, you know?
Blade Runner, The Shining.
Can we do a spoiler on that movie?
What?
Because you watch the whole movie,
and it's like a vengeance story,
but through magic?
Yeah.
I mean, it sounds awesome
Well, is there a better way to get even?
The way you talk about it. I can't think of a better way to get even? The way you talk about it.
I can't think of a better way
to get even than magic
because there's no trail.
And what if you know magic?
What, are you not going
to use magic for your vengeance?
You've got magic as an option.
Why would you be like,
no, instead I'm going
to go through the courts.
I'm the great litigator.
That's such a drawn out way.
A lot of set pieces.
It's so elaborate.
The whole thing, it does not hold up when you...
It's very...
Yeah, and that sequel will probably be similarly ridiculous
and maybe even worse.
So I can't wait.
Julie, did you name a movie
you saw recently? No, I saw two
that I loved. One of them I literally did.
I know I said I only cried six times. I've
cried more than that.
But I cried at fucking Creed.
Like a dude.
Okay, so yeah, you cry constantly.
Cry is a strong word.
I had a single tear.
I don't know why I didn't
I felt
you know it was emotional
you have no issues
with your father
is that why
maybe
you guys just get along
really well
I can't watch that movie
because of the timeline
you don't have an issue
with the timeline
the timeline
well when
Ivan Drago killed
Apollo Creed
what year was that
84
how old is the character
now in the movie?
84 plus whatever.
It works.
I don't know. I have no idea.
I don't think it works, the timeline,
so I can't watch the movie at all.
Interesting.
It's like if you...
Oh no, but they used magic
to fix it, so that's why it's fine.
Oh no, I'm out.
It's just like, it know, it's almost like
a soap opera when they change actors
or something. They just sort of
keep going, trudging
along, even though it doesn't make complete sense.
Or like another good one is like,
they'll just decide, you know what, these characters
having a two-year-old, it's not as
much fun as a five-year-old, so
let's make the kid three years older when we come
back after one summer's hiatus.
And they just do shit like that all the time.
It's just like, we just accept it.
Yeah, but what if Princess Leia was like Luke's mom
now all of a sudden?
And we're watching her like, that didn't happen.
That's a great example, Bobby.
Trying to stay away from spoilers.
Oh, no.
Is that a spoiler?
No.
No, it's ridiculous. Do you know? Take me now, Is spoilers. Oh, no. Is that a spoiler? No. No, it's ridiculous.
Do you know?
Take me now, Isis.
Take me now.
If that was a spoiler,
this room would have burned this place down
if that was a reveal.
No, but I like Creed because I'm from Philly,
and I love that those movies always show
how downtrodden and shitty it is to be from Philly,
like how everybody's just so negative,
and it's ugly, and it's cold, and it sucks.
And what I love about...
I just didn't care much about Creed as a character.
I didn't think there was anything interesting about him.
No, he wasn't good.
He's a good actor, for sure.
I gotta tell you, that Stallone joke,
and I'm gonna spoil it, sorry,
about the cloud was pretty...
That was tough to watch.
Yeah?
Do you remember it?
Vaguely, but you know,
Rocky's supposed to not have the greatest sense of humor,
if that's what you're driving at.
Yeah, I know.
He celebrated with a tiger when he got married.
But I just thought he was great at going back into that role again.
It wasn't silly like a Rambo movie or something.
Right.
And then on the other side, I saw Spotlight with Mark Ruffalo,
and it was phenomenal.
Tuffalo?
I loved it. Mark Ruffalo and it was phenomenal. I loved it.
Mark Ruffalo was amazing in it.
He'd like twitch an eye to show emotion.
I don't know how you do that as an actor.
I don't know, like this.
All of the actors in that movie
kind of have to convey their
characters just through discussing
the issue at hand because all they're doing
is working and talking about working the entire time.
It's incredible, the acting in that movie.
It's really fascinating.
Yeah.
And reminded me kind of of like the last season of The Wire.
Mm-hmm.
And the guy that was the shitty reporter in the last season of The Wire
directed this movie.
Oh, that's right.
Tom McCarthy.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wasn't he in an 80s movie, too? that's... Right. Tom McCarthy. Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Wasn't he in an 80s movie, too?
I think he was!
Like a good...
He's been in a bunch of stuff.
...we all have a fun time with.
He's been in a bunch of stuff,
but he's been more of a director
since he did the breakout movie
for Peter Dinklage,
The Station Agent.
Oh, okay.
Seen it.
But anyway, yeah, Spotlight was amazing.
I thought I was going to be bored because I didn't know what it was about,
and I was like, I don't know, the poster looks stupid.
And then it was awesome.
I didn't even know it was about kids or whatever.
No, you went in thinking this could be about like a Broadway show.
Spotlight!
It's called Spotlight.
I can't wait for all the musical numbers.
Yeah, it's kind of, I think, an unfortunate title.
If I were involved in any way,
I would have tried to convince them to call it something else.
But, you know.
Like, no!
Don't do that!
Don't!
Call it Don't and make it look like a horror film.
Yeah.
All right, you guys. Call it Don't and make it look like a horror film. Yeah. Ugh.
All right, you guys.
I'm just thinking of more awful titles.
Me too.
Because every victim in the movie is like...
Would they put on the door when you go to a hotel?
Did you not disturb sign?
Yeah, but in Spanish it says no moleste.
Oh, yeah.
We used to laugh at that as kids.
That's pretty funny.
Well, that's the sad thing is those kids didn't get those signs when they were coming up to church.
If they had had the sign on the door, then they would have been fine.
But nobody gave them the sign.
That's what the movie's about.
Where were the signs?
All right, before we get to the game portion of the show,
I'm going to ask you guys one question.
I'm going to ask each of you the same question.
So I'll start with Julian.
The other two will have a little time to think this over.
Julian, what?
Please be honest.
That's the key component
to this. Okay.
That made it sound like I've been lying already this whole time.
And there's no winning or losing. There's no wrong answers.
Just be honest with me and tell me.
I don't think I'm ready.
Please just tell me
the name of your
favorite Will Smith film. Please just tell me the name of your favorite
Will Smith film.
Pursuit of Happiness.
Tell the truth!
Megan, same question.
What is your favorite?
You just had to name one.
Favorite Will Smith
Enemy of the State.
Tend to Truth!
I'm so mad I didn't see this coming.
Bobby,
what is your favorite
Will...
Independence Day.
Tend to Truth!
Independence Day I
TANNY TRUTH
I was gonna
if Bobby got that
I was gonna
kill myself
now it's part of the show
where I say
let the games begin
lady and gentlemen
people have made
some name tags
and I'd like you to go grab the one that you like the most Lady and gentlemen, people have made some name tags,
and I'd like you to go grab the one that you like the most and that you want to play for tonight.
I got it.
And bring it back with you to your seat.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are my favorite thing in the entire universe.
While you guys do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after this message from me talking.
Hey, everybody. right back after this message from me talking hey everybody there's no sponsor on this particular episode so i just wanted to take a second to run down some of my live appearances that are coming
up of course you got the holiday taint shows i'll be in san die this Sunday, Sweet Home San Diego at the American Comedy Company
downtown doing a Doug Loves Movies taping at 420. And then later that evening at seven o'clock,
I'm going to do a stand up show. And of course, we'll play a game with audience members at the
stand up show. So bring your name tags to that. Bring your name tags to Irvine, California on Monday, December 28th.
I'll be at the Improv.
And then on Tuesday the 29th, I'll be in Sacramento at the Punchline,
also doing stand-up.
And then Wednesday, December 30th at the Sacramento Punchline,
we're doing another Doug Loves Movies taping.
Hopefully no one will yell out Amy Adams.
And then in San Francisco,
this is a very special treat.
At four in the afternoon on New Year's Eve,
we're going to do a Doug Loves Movies
at Cobb's Comedy Club.
You'll be done by 6 p.m.
to go to other parties or dinner
or just pack it in and go home for the night.
I'm not making your plans for the entire evening, but I hope to see you out on the sidewalk after the show on Columbus Avenue.
And then back in Los Angeles, we're going to be back at the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics on Saturday, January 2nd, 2016.
Hope to see you guys soon.
And now back to the show.
All right, we're back.
We have a question on the floor.
Julian picked that gigantic name tag that I noticed earlier.
Yeah.
That says, do you want to try to pronounce it?
I'm going to go with Yesenia, man. Is that right? Yeah. So your name is Yesenia? Yeah. Yeah. That says, do you want to try to pronounce it? I'm going to go with Yesenia, man.
Is that right?
Yeah.
So your name is Yesenia?
Yeah.
Wow.
We already had that convo earlier, me and her.
So you are going to be a great host when you get your Julian Loves musical.
Oh, you were out here talking.
Okay, sorry.
Yeah.
And she put lots of candy bars on there and Jim Carrey's face is on there a few times.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So why did you pick it?
Just like candy?
I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
The rest of them, these candy bars can go take a long walk.
Right, but there's lots of Reese's on there.
There's like six cups.
Yeah, there's a lot of Reese's here.
Yeah, he added them up real fast there.
Yeah, and my question is, do we have to maintain the integrity of the sign the entire show?
Or can I eat all of these Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?
It's yours to do whatever you want with.
Okay, are you going to be upset, Yesenia?
Okay, because I wasn't going to let your answer change my mind.
Go ahead and enjoy a cup.
And try to chew loudly into the microphone.
The listeners love it.
No problem.
It's peanut butter, so it'll sound real good.
I don't know what to do about Zach Perlman chewing gum on the last episode.
People have been saying it drives him crazy.
I couldn't hear it when it was happening.
He was very stealthy about it in person.
But I don't know what to do about it, and I apologize.
From now on, I tell people, don't chew gum.
They look at me like, why would I chew gum?
I know.
That's such an unprofessional move.
Yeah, why would I do that?
Do you think I'm Zach Perlman or something?
The other thing I like about this sign, by the way, is just how happy the faces are on it.
Jim Carrey was ecstatic to be in this movie.
Yeah.
No, he's a real yes man, even in the stills.
Mm-hmm.
And 15-year-old Zooey Deschanel loved playing a grown woman.
Just kidding.
Look at her. She's like a little child.
Those bangs ain't 15.
I don't even know what that meant, but it was definitely risque.
That was, yeah, that was super.
Do I have time?
I need to go grab water if I'm going to eat all these candies.
Are guests allowed to leave for water for a second?
I'll run.
Did the braids make her look shockingly younger or older than you thought she was?
Bangs, not braids.
Oh, bangs.
Yeah, that's the thing.
That hairstyle, you never know.
You could be 12 or 46 because Winnie Cooper, for example, had the same bangs.
And when you look at a picture of Winnie Cooper now, you're still like, ah!
And she was like, I don't want to talk about it.
And then...
What was your original quote?
Oh, them bangs?
Them bangs ain't 16.
Oh, yeah.
Them bangs ain't 16.
You're trying to come up with hashtags for the episodes.
That's a pretty good one. I think people will with hashtags for the episodes. That's a pretty
good one. I think people will be looking for that one.
It's just the kind of age, you know, they
make you ageless, things like that.
Alright. Who are you
playing for, Megan?
Sidways.
We talked to her at the beginning
of the program. Well, I just saw this
sweet, juicy bottle of wine.
And her name's not short for anything.
It's just Sid.
Well, it's a pun.
Sideways, but Sid ways.
Sure.
Sudden infant death ways.
Just kidding.
I love you.
I went the same route.
I said the same thing.
Yeah.
But she said, very sweet, please keep the wine.
Merry Christmas, Sid.
It's very nice.
Is that part of why you picked it? You got to keep the wine. Merry Christmas, Sid. It's very nice. Is that part of why
you picked it? You get to keep the wine? Absolutely.
I didn't know, but well,
as I approached you said it, you get to keep it.
Are you a little upset that it doesn't
say happy holidays instead of
Merry Christmas?
I wasn't until you brought it up.
No, I
like being excluded.
It's cool.
Bobby, what'd you pick?
I picked ex-machinic.
And can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
Is this marijuana?
Is this marijuana?
Is this marijuana?
I really...
The thing is
I've been sober for 14 years
If I take this, does that relapse?
I think that probably wouldn't be good
No
I would love it
You're offended?
You're still playing for him
You can have the brownie though
May I?
I'm going to eat this brownie.
Eat the whole thing right now?
Yeah.
Gonna be awesome!
I bet you half is a smarter dosage on that.
Me and edibles?
I bet like a mere bite, and I'll be like, perfectly fine.
You want to try that?
A bite?
Yeah, just take a bite.
Yesenia, are all these Reese's Peanut Butter Cups factory sealed?
I want to eat two.
Oh, all right.
You know, doesn't it suck she's getting a round of applause just for eating that thing?
I guess there's no bong way to eat a Reese's.
Good night.
I'm leaving show business after that joke.
I'm actually quitting.
Who am I going to get to host Julian Loves Music?
Julian Casablancas. Well, thank good. I'm actually quitting. Who am I going to get to host Julian Love's music?
Julian Casablancas.
Well, thank goodness we've got a backup Julian.
Yeah.
Thank goodness.
He's super available.
Thank goodness.
Oh, yeah.
Can I smell it?
Oh, I bet you it smells great.
It smells so good.
I'll let you smell my brownie, Dad.
I'm such a nerd that there was a pot brownie being offered,
and I picked the candy one.
So, yeah, just have a little bit of it,
and Swiss, open up some of that Sidway's wine.
You don't seem stoned enough.
Do you want some?
No, no, I don't want any of that. Your eyes are mirror slits.
Do you want some?
I need to be able to read, so I got to...
Remember, Megan, you'll forget you ate it,
and then tomorrow you'll want to go to the hospital.
Do you want some?
That's how edibles work.
No, I'm also sober.
Just one bite's going to be fine.
Two days.
It seems like you're going to be having more than one bite.
That's all I'm having.
I don't feel it yet.
No, I'm just kidding.
Eat the whole thing.
You got to eat the whole thing, and then you'll feel it right away.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I mean, the pot freakouts I've had.
Two of them have involved.
I just looked at the face of the dude who made the brownie.
Don't eat that brownie.
Wait, what?
That dude's going to follow you back to your apartment.
No.
I'm just kidding.
You just look super, like, happy and high, so...
I'm totally kidding.
No.
All of my pot freakouts have involved either, like,
vomiting in the bathtub or vomiting at, like,
the Glendale Galleria.
Or vomiting at LACMA.
So I don't do edibles anymore.
I'm going to eat this whole thing.
Most movies have vomiting in them now.
It's like male nudity.
No, not most.
When was there most male nudity?
No, take the Snickers.
When was there most male nudity?
No, no.
Take the Snickers.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt Candy Barter Town.
By the way, Megan, that's a heroin Snickers,
so you might want to be careful with that because when you eat it, it's...
Just a lick.
It hits you later, the heroin.
The first game we're going to play
is called Doug Loves Musicals.
Doug Loves
Musicals.
I'm going to say the name
of a bunch of songs that were in one movie
musical.
Don't give up.
Don't give up so early.
I've never even seen one.
You've never seen a movie musical?
I get panic attacks.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
But I bet you know the names of some.
What?
Movie musicals.
Yeah, how do you know to avoid them if you don't know which ones they are?
Well, I Google it and stuff.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
And if they're singing, I can't do it.
Yeah, you'll think of some.
All right, okay.
You'll think of some.
Just any guess is a good guess.
I mean, I was in The Sound of Music when I was in middle school.
See, that's a perfect example of a movie musical.
Yeah, but what happened was...
That might be the answer.
I played Kirk, which was like,
it was all white, and then me,
and when I went on the stage,
the whole audience laughed.
And then in my head, I'm like,
I should justify why I'm in this group.
Like, I was adopted, or whatever, but...
You didn't yell that out?
No.
Well, I play in the sun a lot, or whatever, um you you didn't yell that out no why play in the sun a lot or whatever but
it's like i have down syndrome or whatever you know what i mean like it didn't and so they all
laughed and then i like had an issue ever since then i can't do it i mean that sounds like a
historical incident of colorblind casting I just saw Hamilton.
All right, so I'm going to just name songs from a movie musical and just guess titles of musicals that this might be,
and you can guess as many times as you want.
Over each other?
Yeah, just yell them out, you know,
because it's just going to pop into somebody's brain.
I'm just going to say the titles of the songs.
Okay, okay.
Okay, great.
I'm just going to say the titles of the songs.
Okay, okay. Okay, great.
What?
Okay, this first one's called
Gee, I Wish I Was Back in the Army.
It's a song
in a musical.
Another song is called The Old Man.
Miss Saigon. Great guess. Incorrect. another song is called the old man miss saigon great guess incorrect
what
can you do with
a general
yentl
is that a musical
generals
no this is old
this is old
good idea give the other contestants clues Generals. No, this is old. This is old. It's an army musical. This is old, right?
Good idea.
Give the other contestants clues.
Love You Didn't Do Right By Me.
I mean... The best things happen while you're dancing.
I don't think more songs is going to help.
Oh, it will.
Because most movie musicals, there's a song in the movie that's the title of the movie.
Like Star Wars.
I cleverly put that one last on this list.
Sisters is a song in this movie musical.
I'm so mad I can't even think of a movie musical without words.
Heat Wave is a song they sing about.
Heat Wave.
They sing about a heat wave.
Then, like, it's crazy.
Next thing you know, they're singing about a song called Snow.
There's a song called Snow in this classic old movie.
Bye Bye Birdie?
No.
No, I gotta lean back
just a little bit.
Is the whole crowd like
you guys are idiots
or you don't know
what this is either?
No, no, it's probably
50-50 at best,
but some people know it.
But I gotta see your mouths
because I'm down
to the last song.
We gotta determine a winner.
And that last song
is White Christmas.
White Christmas!
and that last song is White Christmas.
White Christmas!
That was like
I was Kristen Wiig
I was Kristen Wiig
to your Fred Armisen
on that one.
Oh, that's my favorite thing.
I think Julian won.
Yeah, Julian,
you won it
but that was
that was close.
Oh, so there's going to be a theme.
Ed Megan was just kind of like, why would I do this?
Why would I participate in this?
I'm legally not even allowed to say the C word.
I can say Xmas, but I can't say you know.
Because it's got his name in it.
From 1954.
Bing Crosby
and Danny Kaye.
Fun musical fact.
White Christmas is the number one selling single
of all time.
As performed by Bing?
Another fun fact. He beat his wives.
Hey.
He did.
You know.
Not while he was singing the song.
You don't know.
It's how he used to keep time.
And a one.
And a two.
Sorry.
You know, I opened that garbage chute, but I want to shut it.
All right.
Let's play another game.
But like I said, Julian was the winner of that one.
So we'll start with Julian, and then we'll go to Megan,
and then over to you, Bobby, in a little game I like to call
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
I swear.
I'll just say it straight up to Julian.
He's the only one that has to answer right now,
but it might come down to you if he can't come up
with the correct answer.
What movie?
I know you want one.
You're still trading candies around?
Well, I feel bad that I called him a rapist,
so I'm giving the high guy a candy
because they never say no.
What?
None of that was mean.
Don't you have any integrity, sir?
You're just slowly peeling and eating it.
It's a racist.
You're like, it's true.
This is so good.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Oh.
He said I don't say no, and look at me not saying no.
Would a rapist wear a shirt that's that identifiable?
Is like the only person in the world wearing that shirt?
Oh, bear pong?
That's funny.
And it's two bears playing beer pong.
There's so many layers.
Yeah, so at least the victim would have a laugh yeah well she'd
laugh once and then laugh again when she's like oh it's a double okay that's fun are you done yet
all right happy holidays everybody Happy holidays, everybody.
And Julian, you get to start.
Okay.
What movie has this tagline?
You know, like on the poster or whatever.
One hit could ruin your whole day.
One hit could ruin your whole day. Oh, that's got to be...
That's going to be...
Sniper with Tom Barringer.
I'm kidding.
That's one shot, one kill.
I don't know.
All right.
Oh, you knew the one for that.
Yeah, I guessed when I knew.
It was wrong 100%.
One hit can ruin your whole day.
Oh, do I get another guess?
I think you're thinking of Shoot to Kill, maybe?
Was Sidney Poitier in that?
No, Sniper was one shot, one kill.
Okay.
But am I done, or if I just remembered it?
No, you blew it.
Moves to Megan.
One hit could ruin your whole day.
I'm so mad.
It's the one about the guy from Saturday Night Live, Jim Brewer.
And he played a stoner.
Oh, are you thinking about Half Baked?
Yes.
Incorrect.
Bobby, one hit could ruin your whole day.
When they say hit, is it a musical hit or is it a gunshot?
Oh, wouldn't that be an amazing thing to know?
Yeah, that would probably help out a lot.
Probably be an unfair clue.
The Doors?
One hit could ruin your whole day.
The Doors.
Because then they made it and then they all started dying.
Yeah, they didn't like it.
They didn't like having a hit. People started dying. Yeah, it was bad. I like the implication that The Doors only had one hit. I think that would have... Because then they made it, and then they all started dying. Yeah, they didn't like it. They didn't like having a hit.
People started dying.
Yeah, it was bad.
I like the implication that the doors only had one hit.
I like that attitude.
Or it could be that thing you do,
and they only have the one hit, and that, and that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, it's actually...
Can I...
Oh, you would know it?
I think so.
What is it?
Friday.
No.
Damn it!
Oh, no.
No, it isn't.
They have a nice time after taking some hits.
No, where things go kind of bad in a way that's violent and upsetting is in a movie called
Pineapple Express.
Oh!
Oh!
But on the weed?
Correct to think about it being weed.
I was in that movie.
Oh, you were?
Yes. Oh, you were? Yes.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's so funny.
Fuck, fuck!
Yeah, but you were in a trunk, so it doesn't really...
No, that's Ken in Hangover, fuckface.
Me and Ken played assassins in that movie.
I had one line, but fuck, I was in it.
Oh, I remember that. I remember you in that movie. I had one line, but fuck, I was in it. Oh, I remember that.
I remember you in that movie.
I went to the bar and Seth Rogen
shot me. Oh, fuck, man.
Yeah, you should have known. I should have known that.
Answer.
Don't you think? Yeah.
I'm a fucking tard, man.
I mean, of the three of us,
you definitely were in it.
Let's try another one, you guys. That was fun, though.
Let's try another one. We'll start That was fun, though. Let's try another one.
We'll start with you again there, Julian.
Okay.
Only girls phone home.
Only girls phone home.
Earth Girls Are Easy?
No, but that could work.
Megan?
It's not Earth Girls Are Easy.
It's probably also Earth Girls Are Easy
and whatever this movie is.
Phone home.
Only girls phone home.
Only girls phone home.
Six cents.
This is a movie that everybody's heard of?
I want to be like, he-tee?
She-tee?
Yeah, she-tee.
Yeah, how'd you miss that?
That's a she-tee answer.
Hey!
All right, I'm sorry, Megan.
You're out.
What do you think it is, Bobby?
Taken?
It's not Taken.
Hey, hey.
That was good.
That was good.
Can I?
I don't want to ruin the game,
but I wouldn't be surprised if you're in this movie, too.
It's a movie about an alien called Paul.
A movie called Paul.
I was in that fucking movie!
I knew it!
I swear to God, I played a valet in that fucking movie.
Yeah, you should leave.
No, you should definitely leave.
This is the fucking worst.
I swear to God I am.
I got cut out of the... But if you watch the DVD or the director's cut
I'm fucking in the movie
right
I get in a fight
with a Klingon
right and I play
a valet in it
I shot it in San Diego
with Simon Pegg
and yeah
I never saw it
obviously
I never saw
Pineapple Express
I fucked up
alright let's do another one
honestly
this is the best theme ever
but he's naming
all your films and you don't know any of them.
You know what?
I'm going to throw in a movie that I fucking was in,
and I didn't watch it.
Let's just try another one.
Do you think Doug would be dumb enough to make the next one
also a movie you were in?
I think it might be, yes.
Yeah.
He's got it.
Here we go.
Julian gets first crack at it.
Doug, I was on the one with Rob Hubel
where you did this 14 times in a row to him,
and he never got any of them right.
Where I did what to who?
Nothing.
Christmas.
Wait.
Comes prematurely.
Ew.
Christmas comes prematurely.
Okay, now what Christmas movie would Bobby Lee be in?
Fucking cocksucker.
Bobby, do you know?
Yes.
I want to get it before you so bad.
Christmas comes prematurely this year?
Yes, it does.
It comes prematurely this year? Yes, it does. It comes prematurely.
Oh, what?
Oh, Bad Santa.
It's gotta be.
Incorrect.
That would be my guess.
Megan, what's your guess?
Oh, okay, so if it's not Bad Santa,
Christmas comes prematurely.
Was Santa ever a teenager?
Kringles?
Krampus.
You're thinking of Krampus.
It's definitely not the time.
Kringles.
The movie.
The movie.
Crip, Crip, Crip, Crip, Crip.
Crispy Kringles.
The movie.
Yes, my final answer is Crip, Crip, Crip. My final answer is crimpsy crinkles.
My final answer is crimpsy crinkles.
It doesn't do you any favors to run the clock
with a super long answer, but...
Crimpy crinkles.
It was a great try.
So that wasn't it?
So bring it home.
Bring it home, Bobby, and tell us the title of this motion picture.
Harold and Kumar 3.
Oh, right.
I'm going to have to...
It's fucking Christmas! It's a Christmas movie!
I need the full title.
You don't know the title!
What's the full title?
What's the full title, Bobby?
Of the third in the series.
You don't know!
He doesn't know!
Ancient K movies.
You're sober!
You don't have an excuse.
That's a weird thing to yell at somebody.
You're sober.
How do you do it?
How do you stay so drunk?
That's not it.
It can't be it.
That's not it.
What?
Is that it?
No, there's more words to it.
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't matter if you win or lose anyway.
It's no big deal.
It's just somebody brought some rock'em sock'em bullshit.
And nobody wants that.
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.
The full title of that.
Son of a bitch.
What'd you do in that one?
Do you have a fun story about that one?
I died.
Hey.
In the beginning of the movie.
I got pelted with eggs.
And that kills you?
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, I just thought that I died.
It fucking hurts, so fuck it.
You know what I mean?
I died.
You internalized getting pelted by eggs
as your character dying?
Well, I fell to the ground.
I did convulsions, and I just thought,
in my head, I'm like, I'm dying.
Oh, he has like a seizure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Was it a funny seizure? I don to the ground. I did convulsions, and I just thought, in my head, I'm like, I'm dying. Oh, he has a seizure.
Was it a funny seizure?
I don't fucking remember.
Is it a funny death scene?
Yes, very funny.
They don't have serious parts
in Harold and Kumar movies?
No.
They don't?
Where they're like, oh shit, we're scared.
That guy really killed that other guy.
I feel like, what's MPH going to. That guy really killed that other guy. No. I feel like he's making a...
What's MPH going to do next?
They probably say to themselves a lot in those movies.
All right.
Let's play a game called Last Man Stanton.
And audience approved.
And we've got a new wrinkle, Bobby,
that you're going to be very excited about.
Bobby.
You're going to love this.
If at one point during the game
you can't come up with an answer,
you can ask for a lifeline
to the person that you're playing for.
Nick, be ready.
Get that rape face ready.
You okay?
Get out of rape mode and into trivia mode.
Why would anybody say that about a person?
That was so weird.
Bobby's gonna have to blow a whistle
and then he comes in and so on.
This one's not going to go online.
So yeah, Nick, be ready.
And Sid, be ready if Megan needs help.
And the same for Yesenia.
And we're going to play Last Man Stanton,
which involves getting the name of an actor or actress
for all of us to take turns naming motion pictures
that that person was in.
Somebody tweeted at me yesterday
something about how they had the perfect Last Man Stanton.
Do you know who you are?
Not if it was Bobby.
If you're like, I'm going to be there tomorrow night
and I got a good last man standing.
Is it you?
No, that's not a good one.
I mean, it is a good one,
but I think we just did it recently.
I think.
I'm pretty sure.
Now they're just going to start yelling out names.
And we have to cherry pick that way.
But it wasn't a person that tweeted at me.
Was it you?
And you said, what did you say in the tweet?
What else did you say in the tweet?
Hey, how about Michael Keaton?
No, you just said you had a good one.
You didn't say it was Michael Keaton.
Oh, you did to me? You're like, you should said you had a good one. You didn't say it was Michael Keaton. Oh, you did to me?
You were like, you should use Michael Keaton?
And I didn't write back something stupid like,
I can't know ahead of time who it's going to be
because I like to play along.
So now it feels like we're in cahoots.
But that's cool. Everyone knows we're not in cahoots. But that's cool.
Everyone knows we're not in cahoots.
I don't remember anything.
I'm trying to think of who Michael Keaton is.
Oh, I can picture him now.
Just joking around.
No, that was a good...
I'm going to kill you guys at this game.
That was a good cover.
All right, so it's Michael Keaton.
And we're going to start with Julian won that last game, did he?
No, Bobby.
He won the game before that.
Bobby kind of remembered that he was in Harold and Kumar.
He kind of got the title right.
Okay, so Bobby, you go first, Bobby, and then we'll go to baby.
So any movie he's been in.
And then Julian.
Just name any movie.
He was in Jackie Brown.
Yeah, he was.
That's right.
Good one.
Megan?
Birdman.
All right.
Now, you know what kind of trouble you're getting into right now?
Do you want to take that back and say something that you know the full title of?
Oh, oh, Mr. Mom.
Mm-hmm.
That's perfect.
The full title of Mr. Mom is Mr. Mom.
Or the unexpected virtue of overfilling the washer driver.
All right, so Julian?
Batman. Sure. I Julian? Batman.
Sure.
I'll take Batman.
Get it.
Go after it.
I'll take Night Shift.
My turn?
Yeah, sure.
He was in Robocop.
Yeah, that remake one.
Yeah, the new one.
Yeah.
This is a reboot.
He was in The Other Guys.
Uh-huh.
Audience judge.
Yep.
You're darn tootin'. There's got to be a movie called In Cahoots.
Maybe.
Let's play the game.
We don't play make-em-ups around here.
I'm going to take an obvious one.
Real-ass movies.
I'm taking all the obvious ones.
Beetlejuice.
Yeah, why not?
Why not?
Tear that one up.
I'm going to go with one that I just,
I think it's too soon to knock it out of there,
but I really like it a lot.
And so I'm going to say it.
I hope it's not mine.
It might be, man.
It might be.
Holy shit.
Jackie Brown's what tipped me off to it.
Because it made me think, think well then I should just say
out of sight
oh thank god that's not mine
Bobby
there was this one
oh yeah
he's like multiple Bobby. There was this one movie where... Oh, yeah.
Where he's like multiple,
like there's multiple
Michael Keaton's.
And there's 15 of them
or 20 of them,
whatever.
And I can't duplicate,
duplicate, duplicate.
I don't...
Really?
I need Lifeline.
Don't say anything.
Okay, well,
he's going for his Lifeline.
My Lifeline.
I can do my Lifeline now?
Yeah, yeah.
Lifeline.
Nick, what do you want?
Spotlight. Spotlight. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's real for his lifeline. I can do my lifeline now? Yeah, yeah. Lifeline. Nick, what do you want? Spotlight.
Spotlight.
That's a good one.
Yeah, that's real good.
Spotlight.
Spotlight.
Spotlight, dog.
He didn't use his lifeline for what he was already guessing, so he just gave it to me?
Huh?
What are you talking about?
Wait, he gave the clue.
That's my answer.
Spotlight.
Yeah.
The movie where there's multiple Michael Keatons.
Spotlight. No, that was inner dialogue. Spotlight. Yeah. The movie where there's multiple Michael Keaton's. Spotlight.
No, that was inner dialogue I was doing. Okay. That's not a fucking answer.
Wait, wait, wait. That's my thought process.
Okay. So any one of us can
say the proper title of the movie he was
referring to. So I'm next. Multiplicity.
Yeah. Yeah, you can do
that. There you go.
You already gave it.
Oh, I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I'm thought it was like, you already gave it, so, but, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Oh,
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad,
I'm just a woman.
Okay.
I'm not mad,
I'm just a woman.
Where do we leave off?
It's my turn?
It's Julian's turn.
Actually, I don't want to say this one because I'm not.
Okay.
The paper?
Okay.
That was yours.
It gave me a nice flashback to a time period
where he was also in a film called Gung Ho.
See, we're all going to have to take your word on that one.
Ho.
Giddy want to knock us in that.
Apologies to...
Oh, is he?
So they hit a gong every time he walks in?
They do?
Oh, Jesus.
I thought that was just...
I'm out.
16 canvas.
I'm out.
You're out?
Yes.
Okay.
Megan, you still have a lifeline?
I don't need it.
She's not going to use the lifeline, you guys.
She's not fucking around.
My life.
Mm-hmm.
Never cried harder at the movie than my life. That's the full title.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
There's a little bit of
potential awards buzz around
him for that one, but it took all
the way to Birdman.
I've said too much.
There's one
that's so obvious that I'm like, I can't believe
it's, I must be wrong.
I don't know, I'm afraid I could be wrong on it, so I'm gonna
go with another one. Pacific Heights.
Mm-hmm.
But there's one that's like,
right?
Are you thinking of Need for Speed?
No.
Is that real?
It sure is.
Oh, my God.
That's what I just said.
Why did everybody say he disappeared for so long?
Apparently, he's been in everything.
Oh, yeah.
He's been a little under the radar, but he's been putting in solid work and taking smaller
parts and stuff.
Cool, cool, cool.
Rebuilding.
Yeah.
All right, I got to use my lifeline.
You must have a good agent or something.
What? Can I say it? What's happening? Oh, you're cool. Rebuilding. Yeah. All right, I got to use my lifeline. You must have a good agent or something. What?
Can I say it?
What's happening?
Oh, you're using your lifeline.
I'm using my lifeline.
I'm sorry.
I just thought somebody in the audience was just suddenly speaking.
I don't know how I feel about that.
Okay, so you're using it?
Mm-hmm.
And it's Sid.
Okay, yeah.
Was he inventing the abbots?
Sid says inventing the abbots.
I have to agree that he was? I think that would be a good idea.
If you agreed or not.
I agree.
Sure he was.
Where'd you come up with that?
Is it true?
Is it true?
He's in it, really?
He narrates it?
That counts.
The voice is part of the actor's instrument.
I love it. That's awesome. Thank you. I'm still going to verify it.
That was like the clapping from a chess match. You know what I mean?
It's like that very smart, like, ooh.
Nine moves from now, this is going to pay off.
What am I looking for?
Are you just on Michael Deaton's IMDB right now?
But what about it?
How come you have to prove ours, and we don't have to prove yours?
What?
You said gung-ho.
Nobody knows what the fuck you're talking about.
Oh, no. Gung-ho is a big...
Ron Howard directed it. It was about
a car company.
Oh, that was
the car one? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Gung-ho.
No, he plays a car salesman.
Oh, gung-ho.
Michael Keaton narrates
Unbuild. Unbuild? They narrates Unbuild
Unbuild?
Inventing the Abbots
No shit
Excuse me, who just said that?
It's one of our many audience judges
Yeah, he looks like David Foster Wallace
Wait, am I out? No, I say you're in judges. Yeah. He looks like David Foster Wallace.
Wait, am I out?
No, I say you're in.
I think that was a successful use of your lifeline. That's why it's called Doug Loves
Movies and not you guy yelling
from the audience
makes someone feel dumb doesn't love
movies.
I don't know. That second one has a
ring to it, I feel like.
It really rolls off your tongue. Why don't you start that second one has a... That would be a terrible title. It has a ring to it, I feel like. It really rolls off your tongue.
Why don't you start that podcast?
He just might.
How dumb would you feel if it was amazing?
I'd want to be on it.
You would be the first guest.
Put me up.
Okay, I'm going to go with mine that I'm like...
I'm never going to be invited back if I'm wrong about this.
What?
Why would you never be?
Because if I'm wrong, it's like so bad that I'm wrong about this.
Okay.
Batman Returns?
Yeah, that's fine.
Okay, Jesus Christ.
I'm like, how come no one's saying Batman?
I already said Batman.
I forgot he was in two.
I forgot he returned.
But that's also the hilarious thing.
Still no one has said Birdman or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance.
Oh.
I didn't know the full title.
I sure did.
Oh, yeah.
So back at you, Megan.
Michael Keaton.
One more.
Was in Tootsie.
Oh, that's a fun guess.
But nice try.
You're out.
You don't have to put the mic down or anything.
You guys are like, we're not going to contribute in any way.
I'll definitely talk forever.
Okay, good.
Julian.
If I can't think of one in the next...
I'm going gonna use my
lifeline it's that it's that time
Oh Yesenia has fucking
zero idea
She didn't know he was in
Batman
Do you have one do you have anything
Do you have a favorite Will Smith movie
Oh Holy shit I've been trying to think of what that favorite Will Smith movie? Clean and Sober.
Oh!
Holy shit, I've been trying to think of what that was called.
Yeah, it's the most depressing movie
ever.
Say it out loud for the listeners.
Clean and Sober.
Julian's right, Clean and Sober.
Oh, is that where he goes to a home and he's got a mullet?
I just remember Kathy Baker's in it and he's got a mullet. No, right? I just remember
Kathy Baker's in it
and he's a,
he's a,
you know,
he hits rock bottom
so he goes to a clinic
or what,
you know.
Oh,
there's another
Michael Peabody movie
where he's got a mullet
and nice tight blue jeans.
He goes to the Betty Ford
or something.
It's the only recovery movie
I've seen.
He goes to meetings.
where like by the end
you still don't feel better.
It's like, why did they show this journey?
Yeah, it's kind of intense.
From a guy that wrote and created the TV show Moonlighting,
Glenn Jordan and Karen.
It was a really interesting move on everybody's part.
You said clean and sober.
I'm thinking he was in a hockey thing called Touch and Go.
Touch and Go.
Oh, which made me think of another one.
God damn it.
Come on, I gotta know.
What was that called?
I don't think I'm going to get the name right,
but do you have one more, Julian?
We gotta wrap stuff up here.
I mean, there's so many people in this movie,
he's got to be one of them.
I'm going to say Ocean's Eleven.
He wasn't Scott Conn in that?
I can't think of him in that.
But what about, was it called Herbie Rides Again?
Herbie Fully Loaded. That? Herbie Fully Loaded.
That's right, Fully Loaded.
I remember making jokes about Lindsay Lohan being fully loaded.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Well, she made that movie.
But yeah, Michael Keaton was in that.
Yeah.
All right.
I bet he also did some Pixar voices.
What other ones did we miss?
Johnny Dangerously.
Oh, that's a good one.
Good one.
White Noise.
What?
Says the white trace.
Oh, Dream Team.
Dream Team's got the mullet.
Oh, I'm so mad.
I forgot about Dream Team.
Dream Team, he's got the mullet, right?
With the tight blue jeans?
Yeah.
Yes.
I recently saw that.
Jack Frost.
Oh.
Jack Frost, of course.
He was in Inside the Actors Studio, Michael Keaton.
You know, I hope he gets the Oscar.
He's good.
Wait, did he already get one?
No, he was up for it for Birdman, but he lost to Eddie Redmayne.
So, Michael Keaton, from me to you, I hope this is your year.
I haven't seen the movie, but I just think, look at his body of work.
You're always happy he's in the movie.
You're never not happy he's in the movie.
Michael Keaton.
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking.
Is Michael Keaton a sponsor?
I was going to say Stephen Hawking.
This message brought to you by Michael Keaton.
I had to wait a while.
But we wanted to get that in.
I hate it when I like bring something up
and then never resolve it
you know
because then I hear about it
on Twitter
and I go damn
how'd I do that
why'd I do that
who just won
Julian won
you did
you won though
after me right
yeah
you lasted second
August
yeah
yeah
so you
you won on behalf
of Yesenia
she gets the
prize bag
yay You won on behalf of Yesenia. She gets the prize bag. Hey!
I would have felt bad if I ate all her candy and then lost.
Did she help as a lifeline?
Yeah, she did.
She had clean and sober.
That's good, yes.
You really deserved that. You really pitched in.
You should eat this pot brownie.
Can't offer my gifts.
I mean, you could have some.
Now, Nick, you didn't put a
shithead on the back of here.
Can you come right one down?
Can you come right one down right now?
No way, he forgot.
That guy forgot.
There you go.
Just write it down there.
And then on that back of the wine bottle, is there a shithead on there? And then in that bottle, back of the wine bottle,
is there a shithead on there?
Yes.
Okay, let me see the back of that, Megan, for the shitheads.
And you got anything you want to plug there, Julian McCullough?
Julian McCullough, everybody.
Yes.
Oh, I finally have a good one that people might go to.
The day after Christmas, I'll be at the American Comedy Co.
in San Diego, California for two shows, 7.30 and 9.30.
So come to that.
That's a good club.
Very nice, very nice.
Megan Neuringer, everybody.
Megan Neuringer, everybody.
What do you got coming up that we should look for?
I'm doing crash test here at 11 p.m. on January 11th.
UCB Franklin location.
Love it here.
Should be a good time.
And Bobby Lee, everybody.
Thank you.
Bobby.
Bobby.
Listen, we've gone over,
and...
Really got to wrap this up, so...
What's your plugs, buddy?
I have a podcast called Tiger Belly.
That's a great name.
That's a good name.
Because you have no idea what's going to happen
when you turn into Tiger Belly.
I just realized that I gave mine too soon because
this fucking thing won't be out by the time that show
happens. So I'll be at Sketchfest
in San Francisco when that happens.
So come see me there. That's in January, right?
Yeah, it's in... Yeah, yeah. This is going to be
out like tomorrow. Oh, whoops.
Yeah. Well...
He got in his double plug. I did.
People are going to listen to this instead of
talking to their families over Christmas break.
I like to provide a lot of content for those people.
Oh, if back in my day I could just listen to podcasts on Thanksgiving.
Make it so much easier.
I got plugs.
Did you say everything you wanted to say, though?
Okay, good.
Next Doug Loves Movies in Los Angeles
is at Meltdown Comics on Saturday, January 2nd.
That's 2016.
At 420-ish.
Thank you for reminding me.
One more time for all of my guests.
And for yourselves.
Apologies to whatever's up next.
We went a few minutes over.
But as always,
not getting Adele concert tickets
is a shithead.
And actual rapists are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him
cocky. There's no room
in his heart for you, cause
Doug loves
movies.