Doug Loves Movies - Bobcat Goldthwait, Angelo Pizzo, Geoff Tate and Mike McRae guest
Episode Date: June 4, 2016Live from the Limestone Comedy Festival in Bloomington, IN, Doug welcomes Bobcat Goldthwait, Angelo Pizzo, Geoff Tate and Mike McRae to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/priv...acy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Hayes, candy wrapper, screaming baby,
Sticky seeds with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth.
They're still not born, then he won't see the couple who is. Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is my love for movies
Very nice
Coming to you once again from the
Buskirk Chumlee Theater as part of
the Limestone Comedy Festival
in Bloomington, Indiana.
Yeah!
Home of the world's heaviest
table. I can barely budge this
thing,
but I think we're good.
This is a good layout.
We're in good shape.
It's Friday, June 3rd.
National Donut Day, I'm told.
Oh, shit.
2016.
What's the name tag situation like?
Did you guys manage to bring some...
Yeah, you did.
Very nice.
We got some good ones out there.
Dr. Strangelove, what's your name?
Brandon.
Brandon?
Oh, so I gotta read the fine print or learn to stop worrying and love the
Brandon? Yeah. Okay.
I saw that
drawn one. There's a drawn back to the
future and that's who to the future?
Burke.
It's my last name.
Burke to the future. Sure. Makes perfect sense.
And you drew that.
Very nice job.
And then this shithead over here.
He just took an existing poster.
Did you have to print that?
You already had it.
And then stuck stuff on there.
And yours says Fast to the Future?
Because your name is Fast?
It is?
Your last name is Fast?
No.
So why is it called Fast to the Future?
You thought that was funny?
So why is it called Fast to the Future?
You thought that was funny?
You mean like it would be the next installment in the Fast and Furious series?
Is that what you were going for?
All right.
I can't argue with you on that one.
A fish called who?
Rishi.
Rishi?
Yeah.
R-I-C-H-I?
R-I-S.
R-I-S-H-I?
That's your name?
Rishi?
Yep.
Okay.
I'm an unusual bunch in here today.
Everybody's just got a straight up name that they threw into a... Kiss, kiss...
What?
What does that say?
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse.
It just says your name four times?
But it looks like the kiss kiss
bang bang poster.
It just says Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse.
Alright.
Well, put them down and get ready
to whip those out again later.
My guests are going to have a tough decision who to play for.
Doug plugs tomorrow at 4 o'clock.
And apologies to anyone who thought today's show started at 4.20.
That was my mistake.
This is a 4 o'clock show, you guys.
So I apologize to anyone who's not here yet.
so I apologize to anyone who's not here yet.
But tomorrow at 4 o'clock,
we're going to interrupt Rudy right here at the Buskirk Chumlee.
And then tomorrow night,
I'm doing sets before both of Justin Willman's
headliner shows in this same facility.
Yeah, who's coming to that?
Should be fun.
Los Angeles,
this Sunday,
the day after tomorrow,
June 5th, Douglas Movies is at Meltdown Comics.
Then it'll be at 420.
Bless you, sneezing audience member.
And then
on Monday, June 6th, I'm interrupting
Mission Impossible 3 at Cinefamily in L.A.
Atlanta, Doug Loves Movies is sold out on June 11th, so come to my stand-up show at the Punchline on Thursday, June 9th,
and bring a name tag and possibly play Last Man Stanton on stage with me.
DougLovesMovies.com for all the info for all of my upcoming dates.
That's DouglasMovies.com.
I have a prize bag of stuff that I've been on the road for a little over a week.
So I've been carrying all this stuff around in my bag.
And somehow it's gotten through every security checkpoint.
So I'm excited about that.
But I was a little, I felt I was a little shy
on the prize bag, on the stuff I brought.
So I went over to Vintage Phoenix Comic Books
over here on 6th Street.
And I got a, you know, one of these pop vinyl
of Deadpool.
It's a little cute Deadpool.
So you can make him dance around and swear.
They don't have his weird burnt dick on there, though.
I brought a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.
A pipe that's only been used once.
From Peacemaker.
I figured that out, that I could travel with them and give them away as gifts, but use them in the meantime.
And from my personal VHS collection.
The best of the Ben Stiller show.
No idea why I have this. It's 90 minutes of stuff from the Ben Stiller Show. No idea why I have this.
It's 90 minutes of stuff from
the Ben Stiller Show.
So that's going to be a good watch.
And then an episode of a
show that didn't last very long on the
WB network called Do-Over.
And the episode's called
Halloween Kiss. But also Do-Over,
The Do-Over is the name of the new
Adam Sandler, David Spade movie
on Netflix that I've been hearing good things about.
So all of that's going in the prize bag,
plus everything that comes from my guests today,
and we've got four great ones.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Angelo Pizzo,
Mike McRae, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Jeff Tate.
Thank you. Also, Mike McRae, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Jeff Tate.
Hey, guys.
Have a seat wherever you like.
Is this the same place you were last time?
We were in the same shorts.
Don't forget to use your microphone voice, Angelo.
And Jeff, same place.
Jeff was on the other end.
But I remember last year that we didn't have enough stools,
so Jeff went out and found a chair somewhere and came back with it.
But we really got our shit together this year.
Yeah.
Mark it down.
Let's meet them all individually, you guys.
Angelo Pizzo is back!
Learned nothing from last year's experience.
I was willing to do it again.
And I'm very excited to be interrupting
another one of your
great films tomorrow,
The Great Rudy.
I'm looking forward to it.
It's going to be a lot of fun.
Was there ever talks
of calling the movie
The Great Rudy?
Not that I can recall, no.
Was it Rudy all the way
through the whole process?
Rudy was actually a working title.
We kept on thinking we were going to come up with something better, and we never did.
Yeah, I mean, you know, what?
The little football boy who could?
Oh, why didn't I think of that?
Get on our shoulders?
That would be a good spoiler title.
Get on our shoulders.
That'd be a good spoiler title.
And I wanted to ask you something else, Angelo,
but I forgot what it was.
I'll be here. No, I sort of already did.
I'd written down, we're interrupting Rudy tomorrow.
Are you all right with that?
Do you think...
Do you think it'll be more fun interrupting Rudy
than interrupting Hoosiers?
Or do you think we're going to have the same problem where it's just such a good movie that you really don't want to make fun of it?
No, I actually think Rudy's going to be funnier.
Okay.
Because if you take a lot of the scenes and a lot of the characters and you just move one little kind of parallax view to the left, it's almost a joke.
That'd be a great tagline.
Rudy, it's almost a joke.
Not quite.
So close.
Well, thank you for coming back
and subjecting yourself to this again.
And we'll talk to you more in a second.
Bobcat Goldthwait is here, you guys.
Hi.
You threw me off because you didn't do it in the order we're sitting.
No.
Is it by height? I don't want to say this to Mike and to Jeff, but it's in order of respect.
That was pretty clear.
Thank you?
You know, it's funny, if you watch my movies,
and then just change them a little bit in each scene,
they're good.
The jokes work?
Yeah, it just changed just a little bit.
But your last two films,
I don't think you were trying for humor
in either of them.
No, I was.
A little bit.
When they don't come out right,
I just go, oh yeah,
I was trying to put my toe in drama.
Well, Willow Creek is a horror film.
Yeah, it's a scary big film.
And Call Me Lucky is a horror film in another sense.
Because it's got a lot of funny parts
because it's about a comedian, Barry Crimmins,
but it's also about how he basically was a one-man spotlight
on all the shit going on with the priests.
Yeah, Barry was
raped when he was four,
and you think that's funny.
And
as an adult processing it,
he ended up taking AOL to task
all the way to the Senate floor for allowing
child pornography to be exchanged,
and then his own life has changed. And he was a mentor to so many folks that are in the tasks, all the way to the Senate floor for allowing child pornography to be exchanged, and then his own life has changed.
And he was a mentor to so many folks that are in the movie,
or affected, or folks like David Cross and myself
and Marin, all these different folks,
when we got started doing comedy.
Yeah, I'm a comedian who doesn't know him,
but I knew a lot of the comics that he mentored
and gave spots to and
his shows and stuff in boston and uh just watching the movie i just felt like uh you know close to
the guy without ever having met him and we've chatted a little bit on twitter and i'm very
excited about it yeah barry's uh uh he's uh doing a special this weekend that he's shooting but uh
yeah barry you know uh when i went to make the movie he's just he's a large hairy weekend that he's shooting. But Barry, you know, when I went to make the movie,
he's just, he's a large hairy man
that lives in the woods,
so coming off of a Bigfoot movie,
I guess it made sense.
I guess, actually...
Barry and the Hendersons?
Well, yeah.
I think Harry had a...
He definitely could have had a lawsuit
against that family for hitting him.
Right?
I...
Jimmy Kimmel called Willow Creek scary in The Hendersons.
Perfect.
I guess you could throw World's Greatest Dad in that.
I just make movies about mysterious hairy men.
Yes, and arguably the romantic lead in Sleeping Dogs Lie was also a hairy man.
A hairy man, too, yeah.
Well, thank you for being here, Bobcat.
You had a show here last night.
Yeah.
And you're doing spots around town tonight, too?
No.
No? Just hanging out?
No, I don't like this festival.
No, but seriously, this festival is not so good.
No, no, I love this festival.
I've had a great time here.
You know, Jared does a great job running this.
The quality of the comics are amazing.
And it's just an honor to be asked to come to this thing, you know.
Yeah, well, Jared books such great people on the show
that he bumped himself out of this show
because I used to have him as a guest on Doug Lowe's movies
when I'd do it at the Comedy Attic,
but now he's got this big festival
and plenty of people to choose from,
so I'm like, hit the bricks, Jared.
Yeah.
We're doing a fundraiser later to get him some Adderall.
We've got to take the edge off of that guy.
It's just like,
oh, cheese and crackers,
man.
He's
like the character I did in the
80s.
Sorry, Bobcat.
It's 419.
Uh-oh.
I should have turned that off.
Mike McRae is here, everybody.
Okay, okay.
In order of respect, I get it now.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I'm last.
I get it.
Jeff, haven't you ever seen in films the way it says and,
and then the last person is actually probably like the second or third
built person, but they get an
and so and so at the end.
And introducing. Yeah.
And introducing Miss Jeff Tate.
We'll get to you in a second.
You're the youngest
kid on Family Ties. You're the little three-year-old.
Brian Bonsall?
Brian Bonsall, that's right.
Good one.
Mike McRae is a hilarious comedian Out of Austin, Texas
Yes sir, good to be here
And performing here all weekend as well
That got really quiet
Yeah
See, I wasn't kidding about this festival
They go, well we'll be the judge.
Well, you know, when I mentioned Bloomington and Austin,
it doesn't get much response either.
It's a two-way street.
Is there a beef?
The old Bloomington-Austin beef.
Yeah.
Let's keep things weird.
We are weird. We're Bloomington.
I think Austin has a beef with everywhere.
It seems like.
I think that we've peaked.
Oh, it's such a great place.
Yeah, people are like, okay, we've heard about Austin.
Let's figure out some place new.
Bloomington, how about that?
Bloomington, you heard it here first.
The new Austin.
You already have one street where everybody gets too fucked up
And it's a city and a state
Where you don't really want to be in the state
But the city's pretty rad
Do you guys have Uber or Lyft here?
Okay, well you already beat Austin We don't have Uber or Lyft here? Okay, well, you already beat Austin.
We don't have Uber anymore.
Uber and Lyft are gone from Austin.
And you got it here, so...
Well, that is weird.
Successful, Austin.
You did keep it weird.
Yep, it's all rickshaws now.
I'm not even going to address that racist comment
Jeff Tate is here you guys
hello everybody
wearing his prize bag on his sleeve
as my sleeve
as your sleeve
I'm going sleeveless for 2016 doug it's a new thing
uh it's called i'm my new my my new look is a guy who just got back from vietnam
i'm not gonna lie to you after a tour. It's the Rescue Don outfit.
I never saw that movie, but...
He gets back from Vietnam.
I could have went with Coming Home, but...
You know, they don't talk about it a lot, but a lot of people did.
Like, not all of them, but a lot did.
They leave that part out.
My neighbors think I went to Vietnam because there was a missing cat named Charlie,
and I always tell my neighbors,
you got to look out for Charlie.
Charlie's out there.
And you had a necklace with two cat ears on it?
I wonder where they got that idea, Bob.
Jeff, what do you got for the prize bag?
Yeah, I got a...
This is fun.
I got a Make Jeff Tate Again hat.
Yeah.
It finally happened.
Andy Russell,
fella in the front row, works at a place called
Smith and Butterfield, and they made them for me.
So...
And I got
some stickers that say Make Jeff Tate Again,
so put those up everywhere.
It doesn't have any information
about which one or how to get a hold of me,
so...
It's perfect. It's exactly what I'm
into. And my
copy of my new album, Jeff Tate, again.
Bring it on down. Thanks, dude.
Good job.
Bob Cat?
Oh, I have a
Limestone Comedy
Festival t-shirt.
Seriously, I paid for this.
Or is this the Comedy Attic?
No, it's the Comedy Attic, yeah.
That's a nice shirt.
I like that shirt.
And it's really soft.
And there's a Blu-ray of Willow Creek, my Bigfoot movie.
And there's a
half-finished bottle
of water. It's
Niagara Natural Spring Water.
I'm not paid by these people, but
it's just, if you love
hydrogen and oxygen...
They mix them up just right?
Yeah, they do it. They treat me right.
Like I said, I'm not paid by Niagara.
It might not be any left when I get done.
Oh, you're going to hang on to it for a while?
Yeah.
Whatever's left in that bottle you're going to get at the end of the show.
But just pass that bag down here, bud.
Oh, sorry.
Just pass it down. Thank you.
I'm going to get it all down here.
Mike, what do you got?
Let's see what I brought.
Let's see.
We have a Back to the Future Doc Brown pop movies toy.
Pop vinyl, yeah.
You're going to hurt someone in the audience with that.
What's in the envelope?
It says Comedy Attic.
Tickets to the Comedy Attic.
Yeah, that's nice.
Free tickets.
What's in the envelope?
It says Comedy Attic.
Tickets to the Comedy Attic.
Yeah, that's nice.
Free tickets.
A Led Zeppelin badge chain.
In case you have a badge that isn't on a chain and want to solve that problem.
And some Led Zeppelin... Careful, one of them got loose, so it's sharp.
But a couple of...
Three Led Zeppelin buttons, in case you them got loose, so it's sharp. But a couple of three Led Zeppelin buttons,
in case you have an idiotic jacket like that,
or you want to put some things.
Can I have one of those buttons?
No, they're not for you.
In case you're Larry the Cable Guy with flair.
Larry the Cable Guy is very popular.
Dan.
I call him Dan, whatever.
Dan, whatever.
Old friends.
Yeah, whatever.
You know, I was hanging out with my friend Scott.
I mean, Carrot Top.
And Angelo had a mishap with his prizes,
and by that I mean he left them at home,
which happens sometimes,
but since this is an ongoing festival,
you guys are going to be,
a lot of you are going to be around tomorrow, right?
Yeah.
So I say you tell them what you brought for the prize bag,
and then just bring it tomorrow,
and we'll track the person down somehow
and give them their prize.
Okay, so I wrote and directed
a movie two years ago
in Austin, Texas called
My All-American and
it's a swag bag from that
movie with a hat, a long-sleeved
t-shirt, a DVD
and a gym bag.
So all of that might be
somebody's
tomorrow.
If you're still around
and win the prize.
Yeah, it's a combination
of the things you've got to pull off
to make this happen.
But you're going to be
looking good and feeling good
in that swag.
What was the last movie you saw, Angelo?
Do you go to movies much?
I don't. Do you watch them movie you saw, Angelo? You go to movies much? I don't.
Do you watch them?
Alright, next. Mike?
No, do you...
I watch a lot of
series. I watch a lot of...
Oh, you're in a TV series? I'm in a TV series.
Yeah, I mean, it's
HBO and Showtime and
that's where
the best writers go now.
What's your favorite?
Movies at the theaters are generally franchises.
And I just don't...
I'm not interested in X-Men 11.
You know what?
I'd say great guess,
but I think there's only been nine X-Men movies.
I was trying to exaggerate by two.
That's a hilarious exaggeration.
But you...
Can you recommend, like, can you tell us what your favorite episodic series is right now?
Like, which one you've been binging on or waiting every week for?
Let me think about...
Do you want me to come back to you?
Yeah, come back to me.
It just so happens that I was just finishing up, catching up with Veep.
I love Veep.
Oh, okay.
That's a great answer.
Veep is a hilarious show.
And probably, sadly, very much what it's like behind the scenes in politics.
And speaking of which, I'm a big House of Cards person, too.
There you go.
Yeah.
Got a drama that's set in D.C. and a comedy.
You're set in D.C.
Mike?
The last movie I saw all the way through,
actually a couple weeks ago,
was Captain America, the Winter Soldier,
which I personally found to be a very thoughtful contemplation
upon the rights of the state versus the individual.
I don't know why he...
Yeah, stupid, just like all of them.
But yeah, they're fun to watch.
And yeah, I'm behind on my Marvel...
So you watched that to prep for seeing Civil War?
Yes, which I still haven't seen yet.
But I'm like, you know, I got to do my homework.
I'm not going to understand this giant fight between a bunch of people in costumes
if I don't see the one
that came right before it.
I didn't even know who the Winter Soldier was.
I would have been lost.
Yeah, the Winter Soldier is a big part of the Civil War.
I mean, he's probably the reason it happens.
He's the costus belli.
You know, like most Civil Wars, it's just caused by a dude with greasy hair.
Yeah, it is kind of stringy isn't it yeah he's got stringy look he's got he cleans up a little bit for civil war but he was a mess
and winter soldier yeah he was nasty it's hard to keep your hair nice in the winter
when you're a soldier bobcat brainwashed have you seen any movies lately that you could recommend?
I was trying to think of the last movie.
It's been a while. I guess Slappy and the Stinkers.
Great movie with seals in it?
Yeah, it was... Or is it one seal?
It's one seal. And a bunch of kids?
It's five kids, one
sea lion, and no rules.
Was it filmed at Outback?
Yeah.
That's why I won't go to Outback, because of the no rules.
Is everything all right, Mr. Goldthwait?
Well, yeah, I did enjoy my Ossitizer, but...
I was upset when that waiter just randomly cold cocked me.
He hit you with a cold cock?
Yes.
It was.
I said, at least warm that thing up before you put it in my face.
You know, I see a lot of pictures at the film festivals,
so it was really funny.
I was hard-pressed to think of the last thing.
But I watch...
I don't want to be that bougie guy.
I don't watch blah, blah, blah.
But I'm watching...
What am I watching?
Like that, dude?
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you can still...
Look, I, you know...
Look, most can still... Look, I, you know... Look, most movies are...
You know, they're amusement park rides.
They're not made for me.
But I don't get upset by that.
But there's still people making tiny movies out there,
hopefully, that are independent and say something,
and they're different, you know?
You don't get paid but and they don't
usually make it to the theater yeah but i you know i'm happy about that now uh i used to when i would
make a small movie i'd be bummed out that they didn't have a theatrical run and at this point
i'm like you know i can't wait for them to get to the digital release because that's how people see my movies. My movies make hundreds of dollars.
Hundreds.
But, you know, there is a world out there of small indie movies.
Yeah, it's called Netflix.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of stuff lands up there
or there's going to be lots of new platforms
where these things show up and VOD.
It's like, you know, it's...
You just got to get it out there
and get the word out and people have to find it.
There's this new format
where people go out and they
perform on stage
the movie.
Have you heard of this theater?
I think they're called plays?
Yeah.
Blew my mind.
Bob, I for sure have not heard of that.
Jeff?
I'm a book that can be judged by its cover.
I'm not harboring a secret interest in theater.
I love a musical. I love a musical.
I love musicals.
I'd love to tell you.
I saw Alan Cumming
and Liza Minnelli
perform. Someone gasped, yeah.
And I wept.
I was in the front row
just sobbing. I was like, it's the perfect
Sally Bowles in the MC.
And, you know, she changed the words to cabaret.
I won't die from too much pills and liquor.
Instead, I'll go like Elsie and die from too much pills and liquor.
And it was hard.
What's happening right now?
No, no, no.
I've got an end to this story.
And I'm just sitting there.
I'm like, oh, my wife at the time.
My wife.
She goes, what did...
My wife.
She said, what did you do tonight?
I go, I went and saw Liza Minnelli and Ellen Cumming
and I bought a $1,000 scalper ticket.
And she's like, you know, you could have just told me
you blew nine guys and that would sound less gay
that makes it sound like if you blew ten guys
it would be equal
okay I didn't
buy the ticket
hunter to throw
you do what you gotta do
Jeff what was the last movie you saw
The Nice Guys again
You saw it twice now
Yeah I love it so much
It's a lot of fun
It's so funny and cool
I think I talked about it on an episode previous
But I don't know that anybody's heard it
Yeah that's true.
It's fantastic.
It's so cool. Everyone should see it.
I don't know why you're stonewalling me.
It's not a fucking play.
I'm sorry.
It's everything
these guys were just like,
I don't like it in movies.
I like all of it.
If you're worried Russell Crowe
is going to sing in it and commit suicide,
neither of those things happen.
That's Russell Crowe. I truly thought
it was John Goodman.
What? No.
But it does look like him on the poster.
John Goodman's a good looking man.
As John Goodman gets thinner
And Russell Crowe gets bigger
They'll meet in the middle
Yeah
In a
In a bomb shelter
Oh yeah
That was the last movie I saw
You saw that one?
Yeah
That's good right?
Yeah I really liked it
Yeah
Yeah there's mainstream movies
Like 10 Cloverfield Lane
That are actually pretty entertaining
Yeah
And the nice guys And the nice guys.
And the nice guys.
Jeff really wants to help that movie.
He really wants to help the nice guys.
It's great.
Oh, what, now Borat's impressions aren't funny?
What?
They're nice.
Nice guys.
they're nice.
Guys.
If you don't mind, before we get into the serious gameplay today, because we've got some serious
competitors on this stage,
I would like to beta test a new
game, if that's alright with you.
I was on a program
this week with a very talented interviewer
by the name of Ron Bennington on SiriusXM.
And he has been on Douglas Movies,
and he got all excited because he thought of a game that we can play.
And I played it with him and enjoyed myself.
So let's give it a try.
Gary underscore O on Twitter, he heard us
doing the game on that show, he suggested
we call it Mojo Rising.
And the premise of the game
is that you all
have to try to figure out what the
biggest movie of all time
for a certain actor
is. And so I'll tell
you the actor, and then each of you can guess
one movie that that actor's made
that you think is the top movie on the list on Box Office Mojo, Adjusted for Inflation.
So that really turns things around sometimes. Gone with the Wind is number one on the all-time
box office list if you adjust for inflation. If you don't, then the right movie is number one on the all-time box office list if you adjust for inflation.
If you don't, then the Wright movie is number one.
And it's... which one?
Marvel's... one of those.
I don't think it's Avatar anymore.
But anyway, it doesn't matter. That's not what we're doing.
So let's try Vince Vaughn, one of the stars of Rudy.
Not a star, exactly.
Well, he's in it.
He's in it.
Yeah.
You gave me my star, and I appreciate that.
That's very nice of you.
I started out in that movie, and I went on to great things just because of this guy right here.
He's a great guy.
You gave me my star.
There'd be no old school if it weren't for this gentleman sitting right here.
I ask you to have some respect. Thank you.
If I had known Vince Vaughn was here, I definitely would have introduced him at least second.
I was a little hurt, but I'm not going to take it personally.
Sorry, I'm interrupting the game. This is rude.
Go ahead, please ask this gentleman a question.
So we'll start with you, Angelo.
Just name a movie that Vince Vaughn is in
that you think might be his number one movie.
Don't fuck this up for me, Angie.
My brain is gone here.
You can't think of any Vince Vaughn movies? Well, I can think of Swingers.
Okay.
So that's your guess?
That's my guess.
I mean, you could have also guessed Rudy.
That would have been the wrong guess.
Okay.
All right, so you're going with swingers.
We'll go to Mike McRae,
a.k.a. Vince Vaughn himself.
What do you think?
Oh, for Vince Vaughn?
Yeah.
Since we are talking box office mojo here,
we got to go with the big things.
I'm going to guess maybe Lost World.
Full title?
Jurassic Park, The Lost World.
Correct title?
Jurassic Park 2.
For some reason, it's called The Lost World,
colon Jurassic Park.
That's your guess. Bobcat, what do you think?
Does this include
movies where he had tiny parts?
Yeah, he could have a small part in it.
I think.
I'm just going to go. I actually will go with old school.
Old school? Okay.
Jeff?
I was going to guess
The Lost World colon Jurassic Park
but is that
That's part of the fun of this game is that's taken
So I can't do it?
I gotta guess a different thing?
Why don't you choose one of my other blockbuster films
It's not like there's only a handful of them
A handful sounds about right
Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
All right.
So later when I play this game for real,
I was thinking it would be good to assign points to whoever,
whichever, you know.
Is this going to be on the podcast?
What are you doing?
This is just between us.
Most of the audience isn't even listening.
It's like a Pepsi challenge.
I don't know what we're doing.
I wrote down the top nine Vince Vaughn movies,
and then I wrote down the 14th one,
because that's Rudy.
Is the 14th highest on the list.
And then Old School came in at number nine.
Wow.
Yeah, that seems a little deep for that.
And Mr. and Mrs. Smith is number three.
And number two is the Wedding Crashers.
And number one, the Lost World Jurassic Park.
How appropriate that I won that.
Thank you.
Do you remember any of your lines in Lost World Jurassic Park?
No, I do not.
Something about don't fuck with nature?
I don't know.
I just wanted to hear Vince Vaughn say stegosaurus or some shit.
These are beautiful creatures.
We shouldn't be here fucking with them.
I'm here to take photographs of them.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
That's perfect.
So anyway.
But yeah, Bob, that game didn't mean anything.
I just thought I'd try it, see if it worked.
Yeah, well.
It's kind of fun.
I'm not busy.
I'm also thinking of calling it the adjusted for inflation bureau
I guess you gotta pick an actor
that's been around longer
so that that can really
throw everybody for a loop
that one of their older movies
is considered to have made more
even though it didn't
like Macaulay Culkin or something
yeah
go super deep is considered to have made more, even though it didn't. Like Macaulay Culkin or something. Yeah.
Go super deep.
I'm going to go with Party Monster.
Uncle Buck.
I think even with inflation adjusted,
it's pretty safe to say Home Alone is Macaulay Culkin's biggest movie.
But now's the part where it gets real,
because I'm going to say,
let the games begin!
Gentlemen, the lovely people of Bloomington,
my mom calls it Bloomies,
and outside areas that drove in for the festival have made name tags.
There's lots of name tags in the crowd,
and your job is to each go physically pick one name tag
that you would like to play for,
to play on behalf of in today's games,
and if you win, that person will win
all the stuff in the various prize bags.
Jeff is making a move.
Everyone else is sitting still. And while you guys do that,
we're going to go to a brief message from our friends, from me, about our friends at Squarespace.
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d-o-u-g to get 10 off of your first purchase back to the show
we're back okay angelo tell us who you're playing for. Well, I was impressed with the extent of the work that went into this particular poster.
Yeah, 50 First Kates.
50 First Kates.
It's a picture of Kate.
And Doug Benson right here.
What a lovely couple.
Yeah.
That's not bad.
And then Jeff Tate is really weirdly
like hiding out behind her.
Oh, yes, that's right. He is.
Yeah.
Let me get a shot of that.
Okay, but I think you're burying the lead
because on the back there's a note.
No, don't read that.
Because all of them have a shithead on the back
and if the person loses,
if you lose on behalf of this person,
then I have to say that at the end of the show. But it says... Oh, all right. It wasn't the shithead on the back, and if the person loses, if you lose on behalf of this person, then I have to say that at the end of the show.
But it says... Oh, all right.
It wasn't the shithead part, but...
Oh, really? No, no, no, let's keep going.
Okay. Mike, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Jesus Collins Superstar.
Wow.
He had to go into his cut album collection,
his bargain bin album collection.
That's what he came up with.
Which I thought had Ian Gillan
singing the original, I guess he was in the
stage version.
Anyway, but yeah, it's nice.
I guess we're talking about theater again.
Yeah, it's good to be back.
Back on the boards. Bobcat loves
theater. It's nothing like your show.
I'm going to do Doug Lowe's musicals.
You just wait.
But let's see who you're playing for, Bob.
Well, the reason
I picked this isn't for what you
think.
It's
Denise Academy.
But...
Can you guess why I picked this though?
I'm not in this movie.
You're not in the first one.
Yeah.
Yeah, Zedd was introduced in part two.
Thanks.
Often people will bring this DVD.
They go, will you sign this?
And I go, I'm not in this movie.
Love Bobcat.
It is illegal for me to touch it.
I can't yeah
I got hit by TMZ and they were like
you know how they try to annoy you
and the guy goes Bobcat
don't you think the original cast should be in the police academy reboot
and I go no
and he goes why not
I go because a lot of us are dead
and then I said if they're going to reboot it
they should do what they did to 21 Jump Street
and make it a comedy this time.
I love it.
Jeff?
Not in this.
I'm playing for Tim, Fast Tims at Ridgemont High.
And he put You on it
Me and left the lady
Phoebe Cates
But I'm all the other dudes
You're all the other characters
You've got range
Yeah I can do everything Bob you should remember that
In case you ever
Want to make another hairy man movie
Listen dude
I'll move to the woods
I'll fuck a dog
I'll do whatever
Like whatever
Whatever's next
The dog
Got blown
Not fucked
Say goodbye to my Periscope everybody
Thanks for watching Periscopers
Alright
So that's who you guys are playing for.
And I've devised a series of games,
the first few of which don't matter that much.
Sorry if you've got to be somewhere, Bobcat.
No, no, seriously.
What time's your next appointment?
I have a Skype pitch at 5.30.
Okay, good. 5.30. Okay, good.
5.30 is exactly what we're going to...
5.30 is what we're aiming for for finish.
And this first game we're going to play
is a newish game called Purple Rain Man.
And...
What guy thinks that's really funny?
Probably...
Yeah, okay.
So guess as soon as you know
get your microphones ready
because as soon as you know
the mashup title like Purple Rain Man
is an example of a mashup title
it's two titles brought together
and I'm going to say the stars
of two different movies that I've come up with
a mashup title for
I'm going to start third build and build my way up
and then as soon as you think of a title
that would fit that description
go ahead and just yell it out
or say it into your microphone
nobody in the audience help please
what mashup movie title
stars
Ki Hai Kwan
and Alexander Siddig.
I know this,
but I'm going to give
everybody else a shot.
It also stars
Kate Capshaw
and Bob Hoskins.
This is a tough one.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I really made a mistake coming up with this one.
Jeff, what are you doing?
I'm trying to think of the...
Never mind. You're so close?
Yeah, so close.
Yeah, he just was like,
ugh!
I should have brought sleeves.
Here are the two leads.
I can't think when my arms are cold.
And here are the...
The two stars of this mashup movie title
are Harrison Ford and Rona Mitra.
One guy in the audience figured it out.
Or he just passed a kidney stone.
Indiana Jones and the Temple at Doomsday.
That's correct.
Boom.
I was just excited to work some sort of Indiana reference into this game,
and I went way too far out of my way to make it happen.
Now let's try, whose tagline is it anyway?
Starting with Jeff, because he won that game.
Then we'll go to Bobcat, Vince Vaughn, and Angelo.
And I'm just going to say a tagline from a movie.
It's something from the poster or ads or something.
And you've got to guess what movie it is.
If you can't think of it,
the next person down the line gets a shot at it.
Jeff, what movie had the tagline,
Trust Him? line, trust him. It's pretty succinct and clever.
Trust him.
Ah, shit.
God damn it.
I'll just keep... Um, God damn it. World's Greatest Dad?
That's not a bad guess.
Wrong.
Bobcat?
Trust him.
Was it Man of the Year?
That'd be another good one.
But I was going to go with Nixon.
Or it could have been Dick also, that movie.
But no, that's not it.
Mike?
Liar, liar.
Another great guess.
I'd say every single movie you guys have said so far this would be a more appropriate tagline
than the
correct answer. Kindergarten cop?
Angelo, do you have a guess?
Let's see.
Dirty Harry.
Probably the worst guess so far.
It was actually a tagline for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Thought I'd try to sneak that by everybody.
I don't remember sneak that by everybody.
I don't remember that. Trust him.
You throw him an idol, he'll throw you a whip. Or the
other way around. Alright, let's try another one.
Starting with Jeff.
What movie had the tagline,
It'll go straight to your heart.
And it's not Cholesterol the movie.
It'll go straight to your heart.
Rudy.
No.
Bobcat.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Yeah.
No, that's good. That's correct. Pull a heart right out of you. That's right.
This movie will pull your heart out.
Mike, that'd be a fun game if I just did every catch tagline for the one movie.
Broken Arrow.
I had to look at it again.
The John Travolta, Christian Slater movie?
Yes.
Okay.
Nope.
Yeah.
There was that one Christian Slater movie, Untamed Heart.
That would have been good for that.
But what do you think, Angelo?
Did he get a baboon heart in that picture?
It was originally called a baboon heart, I think.
And they were like, oh, that's not going to sell.
And then the Cincinnati Zoo shot him dead.
Yeah. Did you hear that the parents brought that kid back to the zoo
and now they're just letting the gorillas raise that baby?
Yeah.
It's a rumor I'm spreading.
It clearly would do a better job.
Yeah.
Although, you know what?
That's not fair.
Because toddlers are really screwy.
You know what I mean?
They climb into those...
The claw machine?
They crawl into those?
Babies always crawl into the claw machine.
And then somebody else gets to win them?
It's hard to get them out.
They have to call a zookeeper.
They gotta call a zookeeper to shoot all the
knock-off minion dolls.
Nicely played.
Alright, you can't use that tipping your hat thing
to get applause anymore.
Well, not now.
It's cheating.
Oh, it's Angelo.
It'll go straight to your heart.
You can do this.
Well, this is embarrassing because Hoosiers came out 30 years ago. I don't remember the marketing campaign,
but I'm afraid that may have been a line from the marketing Hoosiers came out 30 years ago. I don't remember the marketing campaign.
But I'm afraid that may have been a line from the marketing
of Hoosiers. That's correct.
Thank you.
Thanks for that softball.
The marketing is probably trying to reach people
that wouldn't want to watch a sports film, you think?
I think.
Playing up the romance or whatever?
Romance? Not the romance.
No, your heart feels good when some team you have nothing to do with wins a game.
I was seeing with Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper,
they got cut out?
Because I don't remember the romance.
They had better chemistry than Gene Hackman and Barbara Hershey.
That is absolutely true.
I agree with that.
Shot on location at the back door.
Dennis Hopper's character knew how to romance a person.
He'd show up in a top hat.
Remember that crazy hat he wore in that movie?
He insisted on it.
I'm sure he did.
I'm sure he had to talk him out of taking hits of nitrous oxide in scenes, too.
But do you think he really meant that?
Because sometimes actors, you know,
but he just, I think I'm going to wear this hat.
And then no one says, no, Dennis.
And they go, we're just glad he's here.
The director is here in the house, David Anspaugh,
and he can tell you, David,
didn't Dennis insist on wearing that hat,
and you said okay?
Well, not initially.
We had an argument.
He literally showed up from, well, I should get to grab him.
Take your time, but by all means.
Hey, Jeff, could you reach him with your microphone?
Yeah.
Let's get you on mic, David.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Dennis, actually, we were about two weeks into the shooting of the movie,
and he showed up in Brownsburg, I think it was.
Right.
And he had...
Is this go out?
Is this live?
Can you say anything?
It's not live, but there's also no take-backs.
He had just come from Wilmington, North Carolina,
where he said, I just spent the entire afternoon
in Isabella Russell and his pussy.
A story as old as time.
And now let's get down to business.
And he saw that hat, and he had to have it,
and I had a big argument with him.
Did he find that hat in Isabella Rossellini's pussy?
Yeah, brought it with him on the plane.
I love that Jeff had to wrestle the microphone.
No, I thought it was
a ridiculous choice,
but he was so sincere
and he said, David,
I just trust me on this.
So I thought, well, okay, this is my
first hour with this man on the
first day of the movie, and he's asking
me, Dennis Hopper, to trust him.
So I thought it might
not be a bad idea.
And he was dead on. That was right.
It was perfect.
It's a perfect hat.
That's
weird.
Showing up for work and someone's
insisting on wearing a goofy hat. I found mine in
oh yeah
the answer is
apparently yes
Dennis Hopper insisted on wearing the hat
and David will be with us to tell us more
about the motion picture Rudy tomorrow.
He's going to...
We have to interrupt Rudy in front of the director.
And Angelo's going to come back with all that swag to give away.
Let's start with you for this next one, Jeff.
Mankind has an expiration date.
Independence Day.
Nope.
Bobcat.
Terminator. No. Nope. Bobcat. Terminator.
No.
Mike.
Deep Impact.
No, I think the tagline for that was just
Taya Leone has an expiration date.
Hang on, hang on.
She became Madam President, so things are good.
Angelo, do you have a guess on that one?
Planet of the Apes?
No, I snuck another one by you guys.
I went with Doomsday.
Indiana Jones and the...
You get it.
All right.
Jeff, with this crowd, anything can happen.
God damn it.
Um, ah, fuck.
Fuck.
Hang on, I just, I don't know.
Is it broody?
This crowd of rooties.
Yeah.
Nope.
Bobcat, with this crowd, anything can happen.
Oh, I actually thought you were talking about these people.
These people here today?
They seem relatively not so sketchy.
Ski Patrol?
Probably a better guess than you think.
Mike?
One Crazy Summer?
That's correct.
Really?
Wow.
Wow.
I, uh... I uh see I just
I remember that
through it's
working title
it was
one crazy
bamboo
bamboo
nevermind
my riff gun
got jammed
I was gonna go for
bamboos
no
wasn't there a period
of time where
the movie was called
Isabella Rossellini's Pussy?
Yeah.
No, it was called
My Summer Vacation
when we were making that movie.
Oh, okay.
And then Warner Brothers
changed it to
One Crazy Summer
and Savage Steve Holland said
if they put out
Woody Allen movies
they would call him
One Neurotic Jewish Guy.
Savage.
Quite true.
That's quite savage.
You know, Savage Steve and myself and Joel Murray
half-kiddingly talk about
getting the band back together.
That would be amazing.
Shot entirely on rascals, but yeah.
It would be John Cusack's first sequel.
No, I don't think Johnny would be back.
You're going to kill off Hoops?
You can't make two crazy summers without Hoops.
I think the plot is, at the end of one crazy summer,
Hoops becomes an animator,
and then he runs the equivalent of a Pixar or something, this giant, but he and then this, he goes on to become he runs like the equivalent of a
Pixar or something, this giant, but he
lost his sense of humor.
And so we all band together
and talk him out of
doing The Raven.
And you, like, fix up a boat or something?
Yeah, in the meantime.
Like, while doing it, you all learn not to make the raven
while making a boat seaworthy again?
Yeah.
Was he all right, though, to work with?
You had fun to hang out with that guy?
What, John?
Yeah.
When we did the movie, yeah, he was really sweet.
He seems a little kind of, a little bat shit now.
A little serious?
He's just kind of, a little bat shit now. A little serious? He's just kind of goofy.
I liked him as old Brian Wilson
in the Love and Mercy.
I love Love and Mercy,
but I kind of, it was just,
I thought Paul Dano was just amazing.
Yeah, it was better when they were with him.
He was next level stuff,
where Paul Dano's singing and playing,
and I just, I don't know.
That's the best part of that movie,
is the behind-the-scenes drama.
I never knew the Beach Boys story, really,
until I saw that movie.
Yeah.
And now the Beach Boys are just a bunch of dicks to me.
They're all so mean to Brian Wilson.
He was the genius.
Well, that other guy wrote 40 songs about cars.
That's pretty good, right?
That other guy.
Mike Love?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's do one more, and we'll start with Mike on this one.
And if anybody other than Mike knows it, keep it to yourself.
Loved by children,
desired by women,
adored by bartenders everywhere.
Can I hear that again?
This is on Mike.
Only Mike gets to guess.
Loved by children, desired by women,
adored by bartenders
everywhere.
It's not Kindergarten Cop.
Uh, oh.
Shit.
Nothing?
Yeah.
Angelo, do you have a guess?
Arthur.
Oh, that's not a bad guess.
Jeff?
Shakes the clown.
That's correct. I noticed too late, though,
but I liked on the poster,
at the bottom of the poster for Shakespeare and Clowns,
it says, don't bring the kids.
Yeah, that was...
Because the poster's a picture
of a funny-looking clown.
But that was the...
Yeah, somebody choked.
But I actually...
I actually wrote that tagline.
The love by children?
Yeah, yeah.
But I...
And it's funny, there's like versions of shakes
where he's holding a beer,
and then they airbrush the beer out.
They do this to all my movies.
It's like, there's always this bait and switch.
The poster's like, look,
sleeping dogs lie.
Looks like she likes her dog.
You know what I mean?
Big red block lettering.
We all love Robin Williams. This ought to be fun.
And then
people would watch World's Greatest Dad.
So many people would come up and say,
we started watching that movie at Thanksgiving
with the family. we had just watched bicentennial man yeah we're in the mood
for more fun sweet robin well that that movie's great if you guys haven't seen it and uh of course
who doesn't love shakes the clown and uh who do do we call the... Did you get two right, Jeff?
Nope.
Just the one.
You got one.
I think everybody got one, I think.
I don't know.
Doesn't matter.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
We'll start with Angelo and work our way down that way.
And this one's for all the stuff in the prize bag.
We're going to get the name of an actor or actress.
I play along in this game for fun.
And we'll take turns naming movies that that person's been in.
And if you can't think of one, you're out.
But one time during the game, you can use a lifeline which is the person
that whose name tag that you picked is your lifeline so you can go to them at one point
and they can give you a an answer it might not be right but they can uh try to help you out
and i think i already met him in the audience the guy I picked from Twitter today. His name on Twitter is Rishi
BH. Yeah. And that's the name on your name tag, right? Rishi? Okay. What do you do, Rishi?
You're a data analyst? All right. I mean, you know, I used to make up what my profession was
until I found myself and knew what I wanted to do with my life.
No, that sounds...
You do well in that industry?
You guess so?
Yeah, you got enough money to print out a name tag.
Get a festival badge and a great seat.
Get a festival badge and a great seat.
Who should we use for the game today?
Rishi.
Who?
Julia Roberts.
I love it.
That's a great one.
So start us off, Angelo.
Just name a movie.
Pretty Woman. Yeah. Thatelo. Just name a movie. Pretty Woman.
Yeah.
That's probably the Julia Roberts movie.
Erin Brockovich.
Mm-hmm.
That's the other one.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Mystic Pizza.
Yeah. We'll go all the way back to the beginning, I see.
I just wrote down Pretty Mystic.
What was the other one?
Oh, Aaron Brock.
Jeff?
Pelican brief.
Was that like some sort of attempt
to do the voice of a pelican?
Wait, was that not my voice?
I don't know.
It sounded like some sort of character.
Pelican brief.
That's my impression of...
I'm just a pelican.
I'll keep it brief.
Let's get to the point.
Pelican brief.
Now I'm all in my head about how I talk.
Am I doing it right now?
No, you're back
You're back to normal
You're back
Okay, alright
We'll see what happens when it's your turn again
Can't wait
What's the point?
I'll go with
How about
Charlie Wilson's War?
I had to do that one because in a game with Tom Hanks,
I called it Charlie Murphy's War, and I got...
I was so ashamed.
Angelo?
Money Monster.
Yes, keeping it current.
I like it.
Mike?
Oh, man.
Well, you can go to your lifeline.
I'm going to save that for later, but yeah, I'm blanking.
That's probably why you need to use your lifeline.
I mean, are you out completely?
No, no, you use your lifeline
and then when it comes back around,
you'll have another, you know, you might think of something
because somebody might say something
that makes you go, oh yeah, she was also in that
or whatever
Colin, can you help me?
Mona Lisa Smiles
That's what you want to go with?
I don't even know that movie, but I trust Colin
You gotta trust Colin
because he's right. Mona Lisa Smile.
Bobcat?
Ocean's Eleven?
Ocean's Twelve.
Yeah.
You son of a bitch.
Don't you mean
Oceans 12?
Oceans 12?
Oceans 12.
My parents stayed together
their whole lives, you know,
so unfortunately I never got to have
a stepmom.
Each time,
I'm going to give a little personal story
about myself
to ramp into the title.
Angela, you got another one?
Eat, pray, love.
I did all three of those today.
Back to you, Mike.
I don't know what this is.
I have this.
I do not like her for some reason.
I have this blind spot.
I have not seen any of these movies that have been mentioned.
I cannot.
Well, there's so many great ones in there.
I can't believe that a man would not enjoy
Stepmom,
Mona Lisa Smile.
But yeah, I thought you might
have a shot with the Oceans movies if someone
said one near you.
No, she didn't show up
in that one.
She was like, I've had it with this
shit.
Fucking now
there's 13 men that are getting paid more than me?
Which probably isn't true.
She probably got paid. Same as the
top dogs. Anything?
No. Well, you know, it was a tough
break, but, you know.
Maybe next time you're on,
the person we have to play could be more famous
than Julia Roberts.
It's too bad Colin had to pick
some Wes Anderson indie movie maker, Julia Roberts.
I only watch Vince Vaughn movies.
I made this clear, all right?
That's it.
Yeah, it's too bad they've never worked together
because then that would have popped right into your brain.
Let me ask Vince a question real quick.
Vince, why have you never worked with Julia Roberts?
I don't know. Have I?
Are you playing a trick on me right now?
Have I worked with her?
Clearly, I would not know.
Maybe I did and I don't remember.
Maybe I did and I blocked it out.
I just don't want to talk about it with you right now.
Have you ever thought about that maybe being the answer?
She was one of your children in Delivery Man.
It was a stretch.
She did it.
All right, where are we?
Bobcat, do you have another one?
No, I don't.
You might need to get the hook.
Oh, nice.
Can't bring up hook on the show
without people chanting Rufio.
Of course.
Too bad that guy is dead
because he would love it.
He's alive.
I just meant he's not in show business anymore.
Which means he's dead.
No, he's still in show business.
He might as well be dead.
No, he's still in show business.
Angelo, did you consider having them chant Rufio at Rudy?
When they chanted Rudy, did you think maybe they should chant Rufio instead?
No, it never crossed my mind.
See?
It's not good.
I've got a lot of stupid ideas.
I've got the dumbest ideas.
Worst one I ever had was going to my best friend's wedding.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, is that the name of a movie?
Oh, was that the name of a movie?
My life's been pretty good.
But sometimes I'm a little sad when I can't get me no satisfaction.
Oh, yeah.
Angelo, is this the end of the road for you?
I'm fixated on a film of a play I just saw here by Terry Letts,
and I can't think of the name of it.
It's driving me insane.
Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Kate?
Kate, what do you got?
I don't know what that is, but Notting Hill.
Notting Hill, of course!
You're just a man standing in front of a woman
with a name tag.
I'm going to skip Mike.
Go to Bob.
It was a shame that her and Lyle Lovett
broke up because I always thought they were
America's sweethearts
I like this part of the game too
where we make up sentences
hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Now, I know I've already said Pelican Brief,
but Pelican Brief was a movie based on a conspiracy theory that...
You don't have to say more words after you get the title in there.
I know, I couldn't figure out how to make it the end.
How that works.
I feel like the chairs are too far apart.
Do you mind if I move closer?
Bob?
Oh, I'm actually...
You know, I'm going to go to my lifeline.
Okay, who's your lifeline?
Denise Academy
What happened to him?
It's Angelo's turn
That happened to me, you skipped over me
Good eye, everybody
Good old Angelo
Mystic Pizzo
Did you have another one?
See, I might have been doing him a favor.
It's right there.
It's right there.
It's right there.
So close.
Fried green tomatoes?
No.
No, she wasn't in there.
That was some other lesbians.
See, I knew I had a reason for skipping you.
Bob?
I'm going to go now.
Now to Denise.
Denise Academy.
Runaway Bride.
Oh, of course, Runaway Bride.
Yeah, thank you, Denise.
The sequel, unofficial sequel to Pretty Woman.
Makes sense.
There's different characters and stuff, but same director.
Jeff?
I think Runaway Bride came out right around Mother's Day.
Oh, you bastard.
Damn.
That was only a few months after Valentine's Day.
Thanks for the help on that one, Jeff.
You're welcome.
If she saw her shadow in Groundhog's Day...
No, she's not in Groundhog's Day. I'm out.
I'm sure Gary Marshall's all over that, though. We're going to do a Groundhog's Day. I'm out. I'm sure Gary Marshall's all over that, though.
We're going to do a Groundhog's Day picture.
It's a big cast and all the things that happen
leading up to Groundhog's Day.
No, we already did that movie, but never mind.
I'm out.
He's out, Jeff.
Oh, man, it's too bad your lifeline wasn't Larry Crown.
Oh, because he would know an answer? Yeah. I don't know, man, it's too bad your lifeline wasn't Larry Crown. Oh, because he would know an answer?
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
I'm still trying to do the sentence part.
That's okay.
We can just say the titles.
There's no reason to get fancy with it.
Okay.
I mean, I wonder if I'm the player who's going to win.
Goddammit, you just said we didn't have to do that.
No, you don't have to.
You can just say it.
Mary Riley.
Oh.
Remember the trailer for that?
Where they go, Mary Riley, Mary Riley.
What?
This is supposed to be scary?
She's like a chambermaid?
She's like a scary chambermaid?
Thank you for the assist, Angelo.
The movie you were trying to think of
is August Osage County.
Yes.
Yeah.
Jeff?
Oh, man, I thought for sure
he was talking about the stage version
of Steel Magnolias.
Why couldn't we?
Why didn't we remember that?
That's what I meant.
That's why the fried green tomatoes.
That's why you said fried green tomatoes,
because that and Steel Magnolias
are the two biggest chick flicks of all time.
Bring Shelby the juice.
Bring Shelby the juice.
I think you might win this thing, Jeff.
I think you might take this down,
because I might be fresh out of Julia Roberts' shit.
I can't think of the one she was just in with Nicole Kidman.
I can never remember the title of that thing,
even though it just came out a while ago. It's like called something like you're going to catch
that guy who murdered your daughter.
Some shit like that. Do you have one more Jeff?
No, but
I still have a lifeline. Oh yeah, let's
use your lifeline. See if you can
take it home.
Oh, Larry Crown
was the last one. Is the one that you're thinking of,
is that called The Shadow in Their Eyes or something?
Something like that.
I don't know what it's exactly called,
but Jeff is still our winner, everybody.
Thank you, everybody.
What is the name of that thing, audience?
The Secret in Her Eyes?
Our Eyes?
The Secrets in Our Eyes?
Their Eyes.
Their Eyes.
Wait, you're the one with eyes.
I'm the one with secrets.
Their Eyes.
Starring David O'Willie, L.A.O.
I'm surprised it didn't do better.
Yeah, no. It's one of those movies
like it's kind of fun
when you're watching
a trailer
and at the end
the title comes up
and you go
uh what
like I just watched
that whole trailer
and that's what
that's called
the secrets in it
whose eyes
what secrets
the fuck
I guess the dead body
had a secret
in their eyes
they should have
called it dumpster.
Like, that would have been a better name.
At least that was in it.
In the movie.
You could have called it money dumpster.
Yeah.
A sick wizard with dreams.
These are things if you're ever around tattoo shops,
people will come in and they'll describe what they want.
I want like a sick wizard with dreams.
what they want.
I want like a sick wizard with dreams.
And then you just get a tattoo of
Johnny Winter on your arm?
Hey, Jeff,
where's that person you were playing for today?
Tim. Where are you at? Come on down
and get your prizes.
You want to give him the name tag
back too, Jeff?
What's that?
I got a $25 gift card to
the Brown County Winery.
Awesome.
All right. There you go, dude.
Congratulations.
There you are. You're welcome.
Do you want your name tag back?
Or does Jeff get to keep it?
Jeff can keep it if he wants it.
Oh, for real?
Thanks, man.
Yeah, I'll keep that.
Yeah, Jeff has got a nice collection of movie posters
with his face on them.
Yeah, man.
I'm hoping to meet a Nell-type lady
who is unaware that I wasn't in these movies.
A what type of lady?
Nell?
Nell, yeah.
Like some lady that was raised in the woods
and then I'm like,
but look at all these movies I was in.
Don't ever watch them.
You shouldn't pick on those people
because that does happen.
You shouldn't pick on those people because that does happen.
Jeff, what do you got to plug, buddy? Promote yourself.
Sunday, this Sunday, June 5th, Lafayette, Indiana.
June 14th, Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey.
June 16th, Knitting Factory, Brooklyn.
June 29th, Wiley's in Dayton.
June 30th through July 3rd, Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio.
And justanotherclown.com.
And Emma and I are going back on tour in September all over everywhere.
So keep a look at that.
And speakersilence.org if you want to give money to a good cause Speakyoursilence.org
So
I have
Oh there's a screening of Shakes the Clown
At the Las Vegas Film Festival
Friday
That I'll be with Tom Kenny
The binky, the clown
That's awesome
And
If folks want to check out any of the movies
You know, Call Me Lucky's on Netflix right now
And there's a whole bunch.
Yeah, Tom's really evil in Chase the Clown.
It'd be fun to sit a child down and go,
let's watch a movie that's got Spongebob in it.
Yeah.
And then he's fucking scary as shit.
Doing coke and killing people.
I just got Tommy from that movie on my leg.
Whoa.
So that's where you were hanging around hearing about
the people that ask for dreams for a tattoo.
Yeah, it's the best.
I want a panther, but he is, you know,
it's a panther, but
he's hopeful.
And I'm like, what?
Tom Kenny's like,
do I gotta get you on my leg now? And I go, yes. Yeah, I grew what? Tom Kenny's like, do I got to get you on my leg now?
And I go, yes.
Yeah, I grew up with Tom Kenny, who's the voice of SpongeBob.
I've known Tommy since I was six years old.
Yeah, you guys have been like best pals all of our lives.
It's weird to be as old as we are and know him that long.
But it was funny because he does so many voices.
And I remember one day I was checking in a hotel
and my key was a SpongeBob key.
And I had to admit defeat.
I was like, he wins.
There's no hot to trot keys.
I felt the same way when my best friend worked at Domino's.
And my key would say that.
You know what else Hot to Trot doesn't have?
A tagline.
I tried to find a tagline for Hot to Trot.
I couldn't find anything.
It's as bad as it looks.
I think that was it.
Did John Candy come on the set
and say the horse lines for you?
No, no.
But I did get to meet him during ADR.
He was really sweet.
That horse didn't really like me at all
because
it turns out
horses don't really talk.
So they would hit it
in the mouth with a stick.
And then it would be forced to go, every time I was around.
So you were associated, like, even though you weren't hitting it, it's like, oh, he's here.
I'm going to get my mouth hit.
It was conditioned every time he saw me.
And, you know, Robin Williams was my pal.
And he was like, so how's it going?
How's it going on the movie?
I go, it'd be kind of like
doing Mork and Mindy
and then just as before
they say action,
someone punched Pam Dauber
in the mouth.
She did have a horse face.
Is that what you mean?
Is that what you mean?
No, I don't even know.
I don't even know.
Bob said it.
I did not.
She's.
Pam's hover does not need to be taken down a couple notches.
No.
Not getting all uppity.
Is the horse like Dabney Coleman?
Yeah, I like them better.
There's this guy named Corky, and his job was he sat on an apple box.
He was this old cowboy.
And when a horse goes to crap, it raises its tail.
And this dude just watched this horse's ass all day,
and as soon as that tail, he was like a ninja.
He had a shovel, and the shit wouldn't ever even hit the floor.
He was just like, boom.
And then one day I look
and the tail goes up
and I look at Corky
and he just kind of ignores it.
And then it just had
like spastic diarrhea.
The horse just,
the whole set looked like
a Jackson Pollock painting.
It was just like, brammo.
It was all over me.
And the AD goes,
and that's a wrap for the day, ladies and gentlemen.
That horse was hot to trots.
Can I be done?
Yeah.
I told you not to do that hat thing again.
Mike McRae, what do you got coming up, buddy?
June 12th, I will be at the Addison Improv in the Dallas area.
And then the following weekend, June 17th and 18th,
I'll be at the Velveeta Room in Austin.
And check me out on the Jimmy Dore Show podcast every week.
Oh, cool.
Vince Vaughn, what do you got coming up?
You know what?
Not a lot, quite frankly. I wish I was
having more things to do, but
I'm busy being a Republican
actor. That's a very
weird job to sort of have
in Hollywood. And then probably some sequels.
I probably should have an answer for this, but I don't really know
what he is actually doing.
You're asking me questions. The character that I'm impersonating.
I don't know enough about him.
It's a quagmire that I fall into a lot.
How do you think we would have done if Vince Vaughn was the name in Last Man Stanton?
Do you think you would have been good at that?
Oh, I would have clay pigeoned that motherfucker.
You psycho.
You psycho.
You psycho.
And finally, Angelo.
Have I been saying your name right the whole time?
Pizzo?
Pizzo, like the food with an O. Yeah, with an O.
You told me that last year.
I spent the whole year worried about it.
Here I am fucking it up again.
What do you got coming up, sir?
What's going on with you?
Well, the movie I mentioned, My All-American
is on video on demand now
and DVD download and
will be
Amazon Prime rental
and will be... It stars Harvey Dent.
Harvey Dent?
Who's that? The guy who played Harvey Dent?
You know, sometimes
you can't think of the name of the actor, so you
just say the character they play.
Who starred in it?
Aaron Eckhart.
That's the one.
Yeah.
But his face was all cleared up and normal in your movie.
You didn't have a disfigured half a face.
Got it.
Yeah.
And what was the other thing you were going to say?
No, it's going to be on HBO this summer,
and then Netflix in the fall.
All right.
Well, but in the meantime, buy it, you guys.
Yeah.
Go somewhere and pay money to see it.
And thank you so much for being here.
Excited that you'll be back tomorrow to watch Rudy with us,
and the director, David Anspaugh, will be here,
as long as
as well as
several comics from the festival
will be helping me out
and douglosmovies.com is where you go
for all of my stuff
one more time for all of my guests
Jeff Tate, Bobcat Goldthwait
Mike McRae
and Angelo Pizzo.
And as always, waking up before... I gotta read that first.
Waking up...
No, I know. I read the losers.
Waking up before your alarm clock
and not being able to fall back asleep
is a shithead.
I know the other two.
It's real easy to remember because Mike Pence is a shithead.
And Mike Pence is a shithead.
Thank you.
Thank you.