Doug Loves Movies - Brian Redban, Dan Hardy, and Graham Elwood Guest
Episode Date: July 11, 2012Live from the Palace Station Casino in Las Vegas, Doug welcomes podcaster Brian Redban, UFC fighter Dan Hardy, and comedian Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/p...rivacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
But Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I never do a sound check.
Oh!
Oh!
Hit myself in the face with the microphone.
And I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies,
coming to you from the Louis Anderson Theater
at Palace Station in Las Vegas, Nevada,
on Sunday, July 8th, 2 Oceans 12.
Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you for coming out, you guys.
Was there a smog machine going?
A smog machine.
Oh, I love those rock concerts
where they have a smog machine.
Those are some badass concerts.
They blow smog into your face
While they sing
We're not gonna take it
Since last I spoke
And you listened
After the New York ep
I saw several Broadway shows
But the only one I can wholeheartedly recommend
And that one is called Once
Based on the movie I also liked
But it's a very different experience.
Then back in Los Angeles, I did a Benson movie interruption
at CineFamily of Battleship
with guests Wayne Fetterman and Brandon Walsh.
T.J. Miller was supposed to be there,
but he got stuck on the East Coast
and sent along a message for me to share
with the Battleship viewers, and it was,
What's next, chutes and ladders?
Denver, yeah!
And what did I think of Battleship?
The international hit and domestic flop?
Liam Neeson doesn't have enough lines,
Rihanna has too much clothes on,
and no one utters the expression,
you sunk my battleship.
They didn't even have Liam Neeson say,
I'm going to need you to get under the battleship.
Next, you will be taken.
By a wolf.
Yesterday, UFC happened here in Vegas. More about that
later. Now it's time for Tweet Relief.
Tweets about movies.
At Sherry Searoff wrote, she's a funny
comic, she wrote,
Snow White is never as hot as
she's supposed to be.
This has been Tweet Relief. Tweets
about movies. Upcoming
Road Douglas movies are happening in Dallas,
Denver, yeah, Philly,
New York City, and Seattle.
If I'm doing stand-up in your town,
Leonard Mullen game will be played at the end of each
show, just like I did the last time I was here
in Vegas. Douglasmovies.com
for all the dates.
Now let's do a quick
watch this, not that
audience edition.
I like to ask people sitting up front.
Possibly a scary loner type.
What's a movie that you enjoy, sir?
Just any movie at all.
Of all, you know what movies are, right?
Word science.
Okay.
Weird science?
This didn't match.
All right, let's go over here.
Let's go to this gentleman in the hat right here.
Who's looking at me like,
don't you dare put that fucking microphone in my face.
I have a hat on.
No, but what's a movie you like, dude?
All-time favorite movie is Stand By Me.
Stand By Me.
Interesting.
Weird science.
And Stand By Me.
We've got a hot model robot creation
or a body by the railroad tracks.
Watch Weird Science, not stand by me.
This has been Watch This, Not That.
Audience edition.
All right, now we get to go into the prize bag And it's a good one tonight, you guys
I hope you brought name tags
And would like to be played for
Because you can win
All of this stuff
You can win a Smug Life DVD
DVD?
It's just audio.
CD.
There's no DVD, but it's a two-disc CD set.
My first one, Doug Benson, Professional Humor Idiot, is in there.
Also a copy of a recent and probably future guest,
Dave Hill wrote a book called Tasteful Nudes.
And, yeah, so I'm
giving that away
also
a book called
has nothing to do with the show or the guest tonight
it's just somebody gave this to me and went, give this away
and I was like, alright
Notes from the Night
A Life After Dark by Taylor Plimpton
so
so yeah
enjoy the crap out of that here's another one Life After Dark by Taylor Plimpton. So, yeah.
Enjoy the crap out of that.
Here's another one.
Everything that follows is based on a recent real-life experience that has proven to work.
Professional survival solutions.
So that's got to be exciting, right?
Because how are any of us going to survive without that?
I'm going to sneeze.
I'm allergic to survival solutions.
I want to die.
Oh, we got another.
Oh, yeah.
Courtesy of the gentleman who this theater is named after.
A copy of his book, The F Word.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
No, Louis Edison doesn't write those kind of books.
The F Word, how to survive your family.
That's the F Word, yeah.
Family.
So we made the fart noise.
The F noise.
And then I've got a Smug Life sticker
that I'm throwing in the bag,
but also I've got a stack of them to give out to you guys after the show.
We'll be hanging out after the show, me and one of my guests,
and signing stuff and taking pictures and all that kind of stuff.
So this is going to give it away who the guests are
because we've got a copy of the comedy film nerds book and and we've got
some stickers uh that say death squad tv on them uh please give a big warm welcome to
graham elwood brian redband and dan hardy ufc champion fighter dude
welcome gentlemen champion fighter dude.
Welcome, gentlemen.
Holy crap.
What a panel.
You're sitting on it.
It's right behind you there.
There you go.
It's like a microphone butt plug.
Oh, no, Graham Elwood.
Weird science?
Weird science.
Uh.
That's his orgasm noise.
He yells weird science when he has an orgasm?
Uh, weird science.
Weird science.
That is a good way to describe it.
Oh, breakfast club.
Oh, oh.
Real genius. Oh, wow club. Oh, oh. Real genius.
Oh, wow, he's yelling out.
That's when you take it in a can with a strap on.
Oh, real genius.
You, sir, are a real genius.
Wait, what are you talking about?
I'm having a conversation over here with one of these fans.
Well, that's nice.
That's Graham Elwood, everybody.
Let's hear it for Graham.
Hello!
Hello!
Hello!
Graham is, of course, quite the competitor
in all the games that we
play here. How did you do yesterday
at the weigh-in, Graham? Did you meet the
weight requirement?
Yeah, I did. I met the weight requirement. It's pretty sweet.
It's so funny how people...
I cut weight.
And, of course, Dan Hardy's here, everybody.
Come on.
I've never been to the weigh-ins,
but the weigh-ins for yesterday...
It sounds like I'm talking about Marlon and Sean.
I've never been to the weigh-ins house.
So many kids.
It's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
Such a big family, the Wayans.
But yesterday, or the day before yesterday,
the Wayans had like 8,000 people in attendance.
Isn't it just guys getting on scales
and then staring each other down for a photo op, basically?
Yeah, and some of the choices of underwear as well
were later unnecessary.
There were speedos and all kinds of stuff going on.
Yesterday in the fights themselves,
there was one guy with a purple boner.
The entire fight.
Very intimidating.
Did you notice he had no sponsors at all?
It was just purple shorts.
He was sponsored by the color purple.
sponsors at all. It was just purple shorts.
It was like sponsored by the color purple.
That was Brian Redman is here everybody.
You know him from the Joe Rogan
experience and then all the fun
death squad programming.
All the chaotic
crazy death squad stuff.
Brian, you've been on this show once before,
but that was long enough ago
that you probably don't remember how to play Leonard Moulton game.
Barely, yeah.
So this is going to be a very interesting competition
because Dan is a first-time competitor,
and Brian, let's call you, you're probably even more,
you're probably less than a first-time competitor.
Right.
Because you don't remember anything
about the last time you were on, right?
I really don't.
It was like a long-ass time ago.
It barely, it seems like it barely happened.
That's when podcasts were black and white.
Who were you on with?
You were on with Sam Tripoli?
No, I was on with Joe Rogan, I think.
And then who else would stick in there?
Ari Shaffir?
I don't think he's done it.
I want him to do it, though.
Maybe it was Sam Tripoli, I don't think he's done it. I want him to do it, though.
Maybe it was Sam Tripoli.
I don't know.
All right.
Well, anyway, a memorable show that was.
So go back into the archives, dig that one up, and go, no wonder these guys don't remember doing it.
Let's talk about movies.
Or should we talk about the fights yesterday?
Brian, you were at the fights.
Yeah.
And for you, it wasn't the biggest
night of all time.
It was alright. The last two fights were good.
Up to that, I was kind of bored. And plus,
I was sitting in between two really
big fat guys, and that's
never fun. Floor seats are never fun.
Have you ever sat on the floor? It's like
the worst seats in the whole entire house.
Yeah, the best seats are the worst seats.
Makes no sense. You're closest to the action, but then whole entire house. Yeah, the best seats are the worst seats. Yeah. Makes no sense.
You're closest to the action,
but then you're,
you are, you know,
stuck with seats
with no arms on them.
Yeah.
And there's Brazilians
everywhere at that fight
because they were crazy.
They were going,
jumping out of their seats.
How do you know?
Oh, I see what you mean
by Brazilians.
I thought you meant...
I thought you meant
everyone there is waxed.
Everyone was showing their vaginas on the floor,
the upper deck, they're not as much.
They're very excited.
They were constantly jumping out of their seats
and screaming in my ears.
Very exciting people.
So you didn't have a great time at the fights.
No, I didn't have a good time.
But yeah, that last fight, though, what did you think of that, Dan?
The one between Chael and Silva.
Sonnen and Silva.
Yeah, it was kind of disappointing.
I was hoping for more, you know?
And there's this whole debate this morning about whether the knee was illegal.
Yeah, people have been saying that he's an ugly
fighter and it's like, well,
is there any other kind? Like, isn't
that how you win? Like, it's
the great thing about UFC is
there's, you know, not a lot of rules.
It's like, get in there and kill each other.
Yeah, but he
kind of puts on a show sometimes, you know, like
the head movement and he makes it look
attractive and it's, you know, not an attractive sport at all.
It's just not, though, is it?
I mean, we get punched in the face.
People bleed and sweat on each other.
It's just grim.
Yeah.
It's pretty gnarly.
If I come into it late and there's blood on the canvas, I'm like, oh, shit, I missed a good one.
Yeah, I love it when, like, one guy or both guys are bleeding a lot, and they're like two guys covered in each other good one. Yeah, I love it when one guy or both guys are bleeding a lot
and they're like two guys
covered in each other's blood.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what...
Not gay at all.
No.
It's very manly, manly sport.
Oh, weird science.
Pretty in pink.
So... Are you going to fight again soon, Dan Hardy? pretty in pink. So, when are you,
are you going to fight again soon,
Dan Hardy?
I'm fighting September 29th in my hometown.
Oh!
So that's going to be...
Where is that, New Jersey?
I thought it was Beijing.
I'm sorry,
I thought it was in Beijing.
So you'll be fighting in,
where's,
what's the venue called?
It's Nottingham England
I don't know what the arena is called
they change the name like every six months
are they doing it there because that's where you're from?
well I don't know
they announced the show without even speaking to me first
we got a mic switch
mic switch
here we go
professionally done
way to go
stop it pull it out of your butt professionally done. Nice. Way to go. Way to fucking go.
Stop it.
Pull it out of your butt.
Pull it out of your butt.
Stop putting that in your butt.
Take it out of your butthole.
Don't put that in your butt.
They're going to think
I'm doing something
really unnecessary
with this mic.
Just for the record, Dan did not put the microphone in his butt.
Brian did it for him.
Death squad.
I don't think it would have made that noise if it was in somebody's butt.
I think it would have been quiet and content.
Let's...
There's a lot of piercing.
Made that noise.
So, Brian saw...
He's the only one on the panel, I think,
who saw the new Spider-Man.
Spider-Man.
Spider-Man.
He saw it.
It's Jordan Brady used to say, Spider-Man.
It opened on a Tuesday.
And he fought a robot.
I watched it and drank some Sodi.
And then he went to bed on his pillow.
And so what'd you think of it, Brian?
I haven't seen it yet, and I just don't,
I feel like I have seen it without having seen it.
You know, you know the story already.
You have to watch Uncle Ben again.
You know Uncle Ben, he dies, or whatever his name is.
Spoilers!
Everyone knows this already.
So you're sitting there going, I'm not going to invest any...
I don't care about this guy because I know he's going to die in 10 minutes.
The whole movie, you're just, I've seen this movie.
I don't know, it wasn't good.
They need to stop.
Is that why you didn't like the movie The Bucket List?
I can't get invested in these guys.
I know they're going to die in 90 minutes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind them rebooting it one more time.
Just go back to Toby.
Because it was like Twilight.
Reboot it.
Reboot it. Toby McG. Three boot it. Three boot it.
Tobey Maguire, third boot.
Yeah.
Zero humor in it.
Old Spider-Man.
Old Spider-Man.
The Old Spider-Man.
That sounded like there was going to be more.
The Old Spider-Man.
That's all it.
That's it. Move on, Doug. The Old Spider-Man That's all it That's it Move on
The old Spider-Man
Was very laconic
He just said
Small things and left
Backstage Graham
You were recommending
A movie that I've been
Recommending
Since I saw it
At South by Southwest
Called Safety Not Guaranteed
Oh that movie's excellent
Yeah
Go check it out
It's quite charming
Yeah
It's got a real
Limited release
But it's worth seeing.
And Mark Duplass is in three movies
right now. Dude's knocking it
out of the park. Yeah, he is. He's great.
He's a small part in People Like
Us, and then he's in this,
which is good, and then he's in the
other movie with Emily Blunt.
I forget the name. My Sister's Sister.
He's very good in both of those.
Is People Like Us, is that the movie where there's scenes of Sarah Jessica Parker grocery shopping
and, you know what I mean, other celebrities doing things like us?
Yes.
Is that what that film is about?
That's exactly what it is.
They're just people?
Yeah.
Like us.
Just like us.
They do regular things.
Like, I don't understand the premise of People Like us. Just like us. They do regular things. Like, I don't understand the premise of people like us.
It's Chris Pine finds out that he's half-brother to, what's her name?
Elizabeth Banks.
Elizabeth Banks.
And that they have some money that he should tell her about?
Yeah.
And then he just watches her from afar?
Well, that's what the part of the-
For what reason?
Yeah.
That's where it's kind of like, it felt very contrived.
It's based on a true story.
The director actually found out he had a sister, but it wasn't from what I...
Then he went and watched her?
No, that's the thing.
That's where it was dumb Hollywood nonsense instead of him just...
The whole movie should have just been, oh my God, I have a sister.
Now let's figure each other out or learn about what it was like.
It's just like, ew, wacky.
It was like a Katherine Heigl movie trying to be dramatic.
Like, it was fucking...
I heard she was originally supposed to play the Chris Pine role.
Yeah, she was.
Dan, have you been to the cinema lately?
I know you had a big weekend with the UFC Expo and whatnot.
To be honest, I don't really like people
too much, so I don't find myself
in cinemas. You watch them at home? Yeah.
And what was the last movie you
saw at home or something that you can
recommend to everybody?
Well, I have The Big Lebowski on repeat,
but I'm guessing most people have seen that. I did watch
the new Tim and Eric, the movie,
the other day, which is really fucking
weird. Yeah.
Yeah, I was afraid to see it
on a big screen because
they do so many things that are
as creepy as they are funny.
I mean, watch it in the morning with the lights on first
and then in the evening, you know,
experiment a little bit.
But it's kind of
scary at parts.
Wait, I'm sorry, experiment how?
Sexually or just like bring your roommate over and get weird or play weird science in your purple underwear?
Sexually, chemically, you know, whatever you're into.
Or like you could put a microphone in your butt.
That's where I learned.
I am sitting in the hottest spot on the planet right now.
Like, for some reason, this light right here is, like, so fucking hot.
It's crazy.
And then also...
We're at the Louis Anderson Theater, and Louis Anderson's doing...
Oh, there, that light's off. Thank goodness.
Oh, yeah.
All these trains and automobiles.
Uncle Buck.
Whoa, parenthood.
Anything with Diane Wiest.
Anything with Diane Wiest.
Oh.
I guess that's supposed to be a recreation of Louis Anderson's dad.
I thought it was Tom Arnold.
He does look like Tom Arnold a little bit.
I want to touch his velour head.
Yeah, see what's in his pants.
He's got like a...
Touch it.
Take his wallet?
Oh, that feels fun.
That would like...
There should be a cat
up on top of this
because it's like
a scratching post.
And he's got glasses
and a nice mouth.
Nice mouth.
You've got a sexy mouth,
Louie's dad.
And then...
Oh, that gut is solid.
That's not...
That gut isn't messing around.
This is fun.
What are you doing?
What are you doing to my father?
Get your hands out of my father's pants.
I'll show you lucky, Louie.
There's no money to speak of, just his junk.
Is it Brazilian?
He got the Brazilian, too.
Also, why is his long hair on the mic stand at the Louis Anderson Theater?
So you bring ladies up at the end of the show?
Oh, hello.
Have an auction?
He auctions ladies?
Yeah, like the Pirates of the Caribbean.
How much for this sassy wench?
How much for this sassy wench?
That was the worst Louis Anderson impression
that's ever happened.
Alright, pop quiz hot shot.
Graham Elwood,
what's your favorite movie
since we're here in Vegas?
What's your favorite movie ever
set in Vegas?
I don't know.
There's a lot of good ones. I probably might
have to go old school. Elvis Presley,
Viva Las Vegas, I think I would have to go with.
Come on. Ann-Margaret, shaking her ass
in that one frame. It opens up. You just see
Ann-Margaret shaking her ass and Elvis is in the background
dancing. That's pure gold.
Okay, I know everyone in here is in their
20s and hasn't seen that, but
you should Netflix that shit.
You'll go crazy.
Grumpy old men.
And Margaret was in Grumpy Old Men.
Okay, so that's your vote.
Viva Las Vegas? Yeah.
Okay. I may have
seen that at some point. I don't remember.
I know there was a song
that went like that.
There's a show over at Aria
called Viva Las Vegas. It closes
at the end of August or September
or something. Brian?
Mine would probably be the same
as Dan's because I already know what yours is.
Wait, what? How does that work?
Are you psychic twins?
We call the bus together.
Fear and loathing.
I would go with...
What? This century?
What movies about Vegas have been this century?
Hangover.
Hangover.
With Brody Stevens.
But then they went away for Hangover 2.
They outsourced on Hangover 2.
They went to Thailand.
That was fucked up.
Thailand?
Thailand.
But I've watched Fear and Loathing,
and it's kind of a fun movie to watch
when you're just high and sitting around with friends or whatever,
but why do you guys think you like it so much?
I just think it's a cool movie.
But, you know, I just thought of another one.
Swingers is really good.
Yeah, yeah.
That's like partially half and half Vegas and L.A., right?
Yeah.
Mine, I wrote one down.
Mine is Ocean's Eleven.
Yeah.
Not the original one,
but the one where George Clooney redid it.
Like I'm explaining it to you guys.
Wow.
There's a fellow named George Clooney.
And he works in cinema?
He's a cinema actor, producer.
Historian.
Director.
He plays basketball on the set in between takes.
Oh.
He does.
He had his own basketball court outside the sound
stage at ER. I watched him play for a while
once and then eventually I was like
people are going to notice this boner.
And you're like
no, I'm at a UFC weigh-in. I'm not watching
him play.
I better move along.
Nice boner.
Does anyone hunger for games?
It's a mellow crowd here tonight in Las Vegas.
Thank you guys so much for coming out.
It's so funny how the rest of the country right now
has temperatures similar to what it's like here
all summer, every summer.
Yeah, pussies.
I didn't say it, but this gentleman...
Pussies.
This gentleman or weird lady makes an excellent point
that they are a bunch of pussies.
Well, with their power going out and whatnot,
why can't they build a gigantic dam and...
get things done.
So let's play
a round of ABCD's
Nuts. Yeah.
Always with a new twist
and a new challenge every time.
And there's nothing at stake,
fellas, so don't feel too much
pressure. I know you're all strong
competitors, though. Since
Graham has played this before,
we'll start with him, and then we'll go to Brian
and then to Dan. And basically
what you have to do is you just have to name a movie
that begins with the next letter of the alphabet
as we go through A, B, C, D.
This is nuts.
So Graham
gets to start with A.
And it can't be the, you can't use the.
You can't say the. Something. Yeah,'t use the. You can't say the.
Something.
Yeah, the Anderson tapes.
You can't say that for A because it starts with a T.
Okay.
Technically.
All the Right Moves.
Starring Tom Cruise and Leah Thompson.
Yep.
And what's his name from Coach?
Craig T. Nelson.
Yes, that's right.
Okay, Brian, you got the letter B.
Batman.
Batman?
Batman.
You said, like, you know, I'm not even going to try.
I know. I was going to say, go Battleship.
So many Bs to choose from.
It's funny, though.
You'll see how you can get stumps.
So Dan gets the letter C.
So I can use the crow, then?
Is that all right?
Because I just forget the...
No, no, that was why Graham was asking.
You've got to include the the.
But the crow is a great movie.
So then I think of another one that begins with C.
If you lose, you have to show your nuts.
What? so then I think of another one that begins with C if you lose you have to show your nuts what?
the first person out has to take their nuts out
and put them on Louis Anderson's father
hey that's my dad
you're gonna
teabag my dad
I'm not gonna be performing here again
teabagging my dad
in the old days we called that
Give him a weird science
So yeah
Any other C title
I'll go Casablanca
Yeah that's a great one
A lot of people they get spelled with a K
But it's a C
Okay we go back to Graham for D.
Dude, where's my car?
No, let's keep playing the game.
I'll tell you later.
Where you left your car.
Dog, you spin it around.
Ernest goes to camp.
Sweet.
Now, a lot of people didn't know
because they didn't see it
because they're not educated like me
that the camp he goes to is a concentration camp
and it's one of the more serious Ernest films.
It's up there.
Amazing soundtrack.
Oh, yeah.
Jim Varney's awesome when he's like,
hey, they're putting a tattoo on my forearm. Oh, no. Jim Varney's awesome when he's like, hey, they're putting a tattoo on my forearm.
Oh, no. What's
that smell?
Why do you want my gold fillings?
Can I have my pajamas
back?
Because they always made him walk around.
Okay, so...
Anyway, that means F to Dan.
So I can have fair living in Las Vegas then?
Yeah, you can.
Excellent.
Look at that.
Yeah, there's no rule against mentioning movies
that were brought up earlier.
When we get to S, I'm sure you'll just say Spiderman.
Spiderman.
T, Graham. Oh, no, wait. sure you'll just say Spiderman. Spiderman. T-gram.
Oh, no, wait.
You're a G.
Yes.
Groundhog Day.
Hunger Games. It's me, Ned Ryerson.
What'd you say?
Hunger Games.
That's the Hunger Games.
Yeah.
So.
Hannibal.
Balls on Louie's dad.
Hannibal's acceptable.
Yeah.
That was the catchphrase.
That's why it didn't make much money.
Hannibal's acceptable.
That's a tagline.
What's that, Graham?
I thought once you said that, that means you're out.
Well, we'll do that.
He gets a mulligan.
You get I.
Inception.
Nice.
That should have been called The Inception.
The Inception.
Or that's what they could have called Prometheus.
I will go with the Pauly Shore classic,
Jury Duty.
Kangaroo Jack.
Oh, nice!
L, damn.
L, damn.
Get L, Dan. So I get L?
Get L, yeah.
Come on, somebody help me out.
No, don't help him.
Would you do that in the octagon?
Seriously?
Are you giving me the option?
Can I give you a call?
I think that would be great if you just, like, you.
Because I'm sure there's guys yelling at you that you're doing it wrong.
If you just stopped and went, get the fuck in here.
That would be awesome.
All those dicks are like booing shit like that.
An involuntary tap in.
Yeah.
Like now you have to fight because he won't shut your fucking mouth.
All right, L.
Legend. Martial arts movie. Yeah, L. Legend.
Martial arts movie.
Yeah, Legend.
Nice.
Or a Tom Cruise movie.
Here's that one.
Graham gets M.
Miracle on 34th Street.
I think that's The Miracle on 34th Street.
No, no.
Or A Miracle. No, no. Or a miracle.
No, it's miracle.
Okay.
Google it!
Google it!
Somebody's, some of the audience is yelling,
like we're not busy doing a show.
So that was correct, so we're moving to N.
No, you get... Yeah, okay.
We'll move to N.
I'll give you one mulligan, too,
speaking of M's.
M for Brian.
Shit.
M.
The one I was going to choose
has a thumb.
M.
M.
There's a lot of pressure up here,
you know.
I know, but...
Like, more than the octagon.
But there's a movie...
More than the octagon.
This is more dangerous. If you can solve the Octagon series. But there's a movie that... More than the Octagon. This is more
dangerous.
If you can solve
a problem by
hitting somebody,
it's easy.
It's easy.
Can we just
hit Doug?
Just go,
yeah,
just knock Doug
out and fucking
you and I
will just talk
about movies.
That's why I'm
sitting farther
away than usual.
Because it's like,
I don't think,
I don't know if
he knows,
you know,
where the
boundaries are.
M. N. are. M.
N.
N.
Oh, N.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to yell M at you.
Nightmare on Elm Street.
It's D Nightmare, isn't it?
I almost said Nurse Ratched.
I was like, why is that coming to my head?
Just characters' names?
New Bomb Turk from Hollywood Nights.
Nurse Betty is a good N-word.
That doesn't sound right.
Instead of the N-word,
call people Nurse Betty.
And, oh.
Oh.
Oh. Those are my subtle clues
just keep repeating the letter
oh
oh
once upon a time in China
what
there's one lady in the audience
that doesn't believe it
google it
it's a gently moving. Google it. It's a gently moving movie.
It's a good movie.
All right.
Graham.
P.
Prometheus.
I so want to put you in the abortion machine.
Fire up the abortion machine.
But I don't need abortion.
But I'm an abortion machine.
We seem to be at loggerheads.
Brian?
Fuck my life. It really is a terrible thing that's happening to you.
The next game's harder.
I don't even know if this movie is a movie,
but it seems like it is.
Quigley Down Under?
It is!
That is a movie.
Quigley Down Under. It is! That is a movie. Quigley Down Under.
It's Tom Selleck, and it's what I
call it when somebody has a weird little
you know, like,
just a little patch of hair right under their lower lip.
I say they've got a Quigley Down Under.
I have fun. Thank you.
There's a guy imitating the That's Hilarious guy from the Atlanta gram.
That's hilarious.
It was actually Louis' dad.
He does seem to be having a good time.
He looks kind of like one of the Proclaimers.
You know what I think?
When I grow up...
I want to be the man who's the man who's next to you.
I'm terrible.
I'm the worst person at karaoke.
And I walk 1,000...
How far was it?
1,000 miles?
500.
500?
500 miles.
How long would that take to walk that?
Great question, Doug.
Google it.
Google it.
Google math it.
Okay, so we're on PQR to do a dad.
Running man.
Running.
Nice.
That's the running Man, I think.
It's definitely Running Man.
Definitely Running Man.
S.
Silverado.
T, Brian.
The... Right?
You've got a lot of options.
Let's go with the jerk.
Hey, sweet.
Excellent.
One of my faves.
Nice one.
He hates these cans.
What is it?
There's cans in there.
Navin R. Johnson.
Sounds like a typical bastard.
Die, Navin R. Johnson.
You ought to name the dog Shithead.
That happened once at the end of the show.
Somebody named Navin R. Johnson's dog as a Shithead.
Oh, that's awesome.
That was fun.
Where are we at, Dan?
T-U.
I've noticed that I'm getting all the difficult letters.
Has anybody else noticed it?
Quigley?
It's really stacked against you.
I jumped on the seat with all the good letters,
like A and shit.
This has been thought out.
Yeah, I know.
I feel like I'm being conspired against.
U.
U.
U.
U.
Universal Soldier.
Oh!
Awesome!
And there's like eight of them as well.
That does not have a V in front of it, for sure.
UV, Graham.
V for Vendetta.
Yeah, that's right.
That's the V for Vendetta.
It's our V for Vendetta.
Okay, Brian, W.
Water world.
Okay, or you could just say W.
X.
X, yeah.
You see what I mean?
You could do it.
X-Men.
Yes.
Or X-Men 2, or X-Men First Class, or X-Men Origins Wolverine,
or... What was the other one?
X-Men Last Stand.
All of them qualify.
Why, Graham?
Why? Seriously, explain it to me.
Young guns.
Uh-huh.
And Z to Brian,
before the game takes an interesting twist.
Zorro.
You're going to have to be more fuller answer than that.
No, there's just one.
It's just called Zorro?
That was it?
Yeah, there's a bunch of them.
Was it called Zorro and the Adventures of Stupid Shit?
That was the prequel.
Yeah, that was...
Or you could go Zorro the Gay Blade.
Be another good one.
What's that over there?
Zorro Ghost Protocol.
Zorro Ghost Protocol.
That's hilarious.
Okay, so
now
the guy that just said
Ghost Protocol.
What's your name?
Alan. Who? Alan.
Alan? Okay.
Yeah.
Okay so A
is the beginning letter for Alan
let's go around
and do only the letter A.
Movies that begin
with the letter A. Weies that begin with the letter A.
We left off with...
We're on Brian first?
I gotta go first. I just went.
Who did Z? Me.
Yeah, so we go with Dan first.
Any movie that begins with A.
Bridge Too Far.
Oh, Bridge Too Far. Graham, A.
A Bridge Over the River Kwai.
You're out.
No way!
Look that shit up!
It's just called bridge over the river Kwai.
No, it's a bridge over the river Kwai.
Fucking look it up!
No, fuck's sake.
Yeah, it's just bridge over the river Kwai.
Not a bridge.
But thank you for playing, Graham.
Hey, Brian.
Avengers.
Oh, Avengers.
Apocalypse Now.
Isn't it The Avengers?
It's The Avengers.
Brian's out.
Dan is our winner.
How the fuck did that happen?
Apocalypse Now is an excellent pick, though.
Excellent pick.
The games of the show are just like UFC fighting.
Like, one guy could have the advantage.
The other guy gets right in there at the right moment.
He really just threatened to hit Brian.
That's pretty sweet.
Just take it, Brian.
Well, that's the thing is you and I both have been very lucky. I met Dan at a UFC event because Joe gets us in there all the time.
And it's really fun to watch that shit and sort of learn about it as we go.
Graham's checking on the phone to make sure it's called a bridge over the River Kwai.
Yeah, he can't let it go.
Has to look it up.
What does it say, Graham?
Give us the good news.
Hold on.
You can do it.
Do you have a good connection in here?
No.
You need the password for the Louis Anderson Theater.
And it's LOL.
Anderson.
Theater.
Father.
Bulge pants These web addresses
Backslash
Did you find it?
No
We gotta move on
He's downloading the app
He really is
He's downloading a
Bridge over the River Kwai app
Yeah there's a
Bridge over the River Kwai app
There's actually an IMDB app
For iPhone Which I'm downloading Right the fuck now Weird science Yeah, there's a bridge over the river There's actually an IMDB app for iPhone
Which I'm downloading right the fuck now
Weird science
I can't whistle without my fingers
You're supposed to be looking it up While we do the theme song I can't whistle without my fingers.
You're supposed to be looking it up while we do the theme song.
And then he did it five times
all the way through
till everyone in the audience was gone.
Back out to the surface of the sun where you can ride a roller coaster in New York.
Where you can ride a roller coaster.
They don't have roller coasters in New York,
but we have one in Vegas in New York.
So what do you got there, Graham? It's the closest to being at 9-11 ever. in New York, but we have one in Vegas in New York. So,
what do you got there, Graham? It's the closest to being
at 9-11 ever.
The rollercoaster at New York, New York.
Never forget.
No, I was wrong.
It is the bridge on the River Kwai.
According to who?
According to IMDB, 1957, the bridge on the River Kwai.
Okay.
So, what did we prove?
That I was wrong, but not in the way that you thought.
Oh, that feels so good, doesn't it?
Great app, though.
All right.
Let's see how you guys do at Build a Title.
Let's play some Build a Title.
Oh, shit.
People love it.
Some people don't even know what it is.
We're all going to learn together.
People on Twitter
suggest starter titles for this game.
And then the idea is we try
to build as big a title as we
possibly can. Low stakes.
Nothing really at stake here, so don't worry.
You're not playing for
audience members just yet.
So I'll give you a title.
Like, for instance, if the title was
The Godfather,
in this game, we drop off the the.
We get rid of the the because it just gets in the way.
And then we have Godfather, so it could be like,
you could say, Oh, Godfather, to add a title to the beginning.
Or you can go, Oh, God.
Don't say oh.
Or you can go, Godfather of the Br Bride to add a title on the end,
and you keep adding that way.
It's a sound-alike game.
Don't take how it's written.
Take how it sounds.
And who won?
Dan won the last game,
so he gets to go first.
So Crime Donkey 2.
What?
Crime Donkey, I-I, on Twitter, suggested the title Detroit Rock City.
Detroit Rock City.
So, Dan, you need a movie that either ends in the word Detroit or begins with the word city.
So, Detroit Rock City of God.
Yes.
You did it. I thought I was going to fail miserably
this game.
Very well done. You just need to know
titles of movies
and English.
You've got a great command
of both.
So we go to...
We've changed the order. I the order We go to Brian this time
Yeah
It is end in Detroit
Or begin with God
Okay
Wow
A movie that begins
With the word God
Detroit Rock City
What did you say?
Of God
Of Godfather
Yeah
Okay
Part two Yeah What did you say? Of God. Of Godfather. Yeah. Okay.
Part two.
I'm glad that my example came in handy right away.
All right.
Godfather part two.
So it's Detroit or two?
Yes.
Two mules for Sister Sarah.
Wow. Boom.
Right there.
Look it up, youngsters.
It's called The Two Bridges for Sister Sarah. Boom. Right there. Look it up, youngsters. It's called
The Two Bridges for Sister Sarah.
A Mule for
All right, so
this is going to get tough now for Dan.
You need a movie that begins with the word Sarah
or
ends with the word Detroit.
Seriously?
Seriously, yes.
Okay, so that indicates that you're out.
No, hang on, hang on.
You'll be back in in the next round.
You're not out for good.
What was the Sarah Marshall one, though?
Can I not throw that in there somewhere?
No, because it's forgetting Sarah Marshall,
so you're forgetting the forgetting part.
It's tough.
What do you got, Brian?
Do you have anything for that?
Can it be like any movie?
Like, can I say like Sarah Silverman's God is whatever?
Sarah Silverman.
You just make just any words that attach to it?
That aren't movies?
No, Sarah Silverman.
Jesus is magic.
Oh, what the fuck?
Why don't you guys just all goddamn write it on a fucking whiteboard?
Spoon feed it.
The fucking playtime's over.
The kids got their mulligans.
Now we're going for real.
Bullshit.
The kids got their mulligans.
Yeah, this is not fucking Little League anymore.
You got Sarah, Jesus is magic.
There you go, Brian. You did it.
I think you're
channeling Louie's dad.
Put your balls
on my face, Brian. You got
it right.
Wait, now it sounds like Jay Leno.
Here's
some weird news. Louie Anderson's
balls on my face. Put them on my face.
I got a lot of chin. I got a lot of chin.
You got a lot of balls.
We could really do something together.
All right.
You got your chin on my balls.
No, you got your balls on my chin.
Sarah Silverman in Jesus is Magic.
So, Graham, you need starts with magic
or ends with
Detroit.
There's a real obvious one, I think, with Detroit,
but for some reason you guys aren't
saying it. Don't help, audience.
You're all very nice,
but this is a game amongst
these three titans of competition.
But this is a game amongst these three titans of competition.
Have you ever won any sporting events, Graham?
Any sporting competitions?
Have I ever won a sporting competition?
Yeah.
That's not the craziest question.
Well, yeah, I mean, my lacrosse team, my senior year of high school won state.
So you got a little trophy?
Yeah, bitch.
That's what it said on the trophy?
State champs, bitch.
Okay, you got anything?
Magicropolis.
What is with you and the made-up names?
That's not a made-up name.
That was a movie that came out in like 1927.
In India.
Magicropolis?
Yes.
Spell it.
Well, magic, it's like magic and acropolis.
It's magicropolis.
Oh, okay, just one C.
Yeah.
Now, you're not thinking of Metropolis, are you?
No.
No.
It was in that same thing. Because that was around the same time as Magicropolis.
Yep.
And Magicropolis didn't get as much attention.
Right.
As Metropolis.
Like, Magicropolis was really shit upon.
It was like, I'm going to act and Armageddon came out at the same time.
And it was like, one of them did better than the other.
It was like that.
The two Twister movies.
Okay, so Brian won that round.
Is Magic Mike a movie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That just came out, right? Yeah. That just came out right
Yeah
That was the Detroit one
In Detroit
There's a movie called
Dr. Detroit
Starring
God damn it
Dan Aykroyd
Yeah
That's right
And his wife
Who he's still married to
Donna Dixon
Donna Dixon
Double D
She was in
Bosom Buddies
Tits tits tits
Titties
We must be in Vegas Now this show We're supposed to She was in Bosom Buddies. Tits, tits, tits. Titties.
We must be in Vegas.
Now, this show is supposed to be topless, you guys.
Oh, all right.
That's how Louie Anderson does it.
Hey, everybody.
You want to see my side boob?
It's Sunday.
It's time for Sideboob.
Okay.
Apologies to Louis Anderson and all who love him.
Who's here all the time here.
He's got a new show that he's been doing.
It's at 7 o'clock
at the Pal station.
Nice plug for him, right?
Toon Hound, someone named Toon Hound on Twitter suggested the following.
Ice station zebra.
And Brian got that point.
And who was going to go next?
Dan.
So we'll go to Dan.
Dan, what do'll go to Dan.
Dan, what do you got for... Ice or zebra?
Zebra.
Ice, station, zebra.
Zebra.
Zebra.
Whichever one you want.
So the movie ends in ice,
or it's part of a word
that ends in ice
or begins with zebra.
Well, seeing as everyone's
twisting the rules a little bit,
I'm going to go with
the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
Nice!
I hate it and I love it.
I hate it and I love it.
A little octagon trickery
we just got right there.
Come on then, bitches.
Sorcerer or zebra.
It goes against
everything I stand for.
Taking this one.
But I like it too.
Okay, Sorcerer's Apprentice.
Sean Cullen would have
a heart attack
if he heard this.
Because I wouldn't let him
to have Neveragon.
He wanted to go from Never to Aragon.
And I was like, that doesn't sound right.
But Sorcerer's Apprentice sounds perfect.
So don't tell Sean Cullen, you guys.
Sorcerer's Apprentice Station, Zebra.
Whose turn was it?
Graham.
Okay. Zebrahead. Graham Okay Zebra Head
Yeah
Zebra Head
It starred
It starred Michael Rapaport
And it was about
An interracial couple
Yeah
In a high school in Detroit
Yeah
And
Zebra Head
Yeah
That's when you get blown
By a
Half and half
You get Blown a half and half.
You get blown by half and half?
A mulatto blowjob?
Is that what that is?
Oh, yeah.
Half and half.
Oh, yeah. That's deep, man. Oh, yeah.
So what happened?
So it goes to Brian now.
Oh, Brian.
So you need something that ends in sorcerer or begins with head.
A lot of things begin with head, yeah.
Most of the best things
begin with head.
Oh, I wear it so hard.
I wanted to say Sorcerer's New Pants,
but that's not a movie.
That's not a movie.
It doesn't fit the
Sorcerer's New Gro movie. That's not a movie. It doesn't fit the puzzle.
It's Sorcerer's New Groove.
No, you need something that ends in Sorcerer.
I don't even know if there is such a thing.
Maybe there is.
People in the audience are yelling stuff.
Head of class?
Even though they shouldn't be.
Head of?
Head of?
Head of class?
Head of lettuce?
Is that what you said?
Head of class?
Or what's that probably short movie?
Head of state? What? Yeah, more? Head of class, or what's that probably short maybe? Head of state?
Yeah, more help from the audience. Thanks guys.
Just keep fucking yelling them out there.
I'm sucking a dick on Magicropolis.
Not one of you could have yelled out Magic Mike?
You fuckbags.
He was sucking a dick. Why couldn't you think of Magic Mike?
Everybody, you know, I mean, not everybody,
but there's good word of mouth about that movie,
but I just can't get, I can't get into the idea
of watching a dude strip in a movie.
Like, why would that be fun for me?
I heard it's showgirls for, but it's showgirls for women.
Like, it's like, it's as bad as showgirls.
Finally, a shittys for women. It's as bad as showgirls. Finally, a shitty movie for women.
Roadhouse for women. What, didn't Devil Wears Prada count?
That's not a good example,
because that movie wasn't that bad.
Okay, so...
State.
Sorcerer.
Head of state, you said.
That was actually, uh...
That was Chris Rock.
All right.
Did, uh...
That's got us too confused.
But...
It still works for our purposes here.
Then we come back around to Dan,
who gave us the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
Who knows what I'll come up with next.
Something that begins with the word state.
State.
If you can think of something like that.
Or something that begins with the word eight would work.
That could work.
Yeah, that would totally fit.
You got anything?
Eight dudes.
Eight dudes, that's a good one.
Shut up.
I don't care how many people are in your party.
Eight dudes.
Is there really a movie called Eight Dudes?
Yeah, it's like two girls, one cup.
Eight dudes, no cup Dan, have you ever been kicked in the balls during a fight?
Yeah
Like where you had to stop and do the
Like with Rich Franklin a few weeks ago
Where you massage the lower part of your stomach
Like that's gonna help
And jump up and down a little bit
People do it all the time You watch, next time somebody gets that's going to help and jump up and down a little bit. People do it all the time.
You watch.
Next time somebody gets kicked in the nuts,
they always jump up and down
and there's no fucking good reason to do it.
It's like it's just kind of distracting yourself
or something, right?
It's like trying to move them back down there
or something.
Like they've gone somewhere.
But they don't really get kicked up
into your stomach or anything.
They're still where they belong.
That's my point.
I mean,
what are you jumping for?
You know what's
really weird?
In Japan,
you get kicked
in the nuts in Japan.
I'm not used
to this shit.
He's not used
to the microphone.
In Japan,
the referee comes over
and checks your balls.
He fucking
checks your balls.
He came over
and he pulled my shorts.
I'm like, I don't know you that well. He goes on TSA on your balls he touches him over and he pulled my shorts I'm like I don't know you that well
he goes on TSA on your balls
smack smack
dude give me a minute
my balls and I
we need some me time
we need some balls and me time
right now I don't need you smacking them.
Seems like horrible treatment
of a very tender
area.
But yeah, alright. Next time somebody gets
kicked in the nuts, I'm gonna wait for the hopping.
I might even take bets.
Like a guy gets kicked in the nuts, I go, I'll bet you $10
he's gonna start jumping up and down.
Why is he doing
that? I don't know.
$10.
Okay.
So that's...
We're on Dan.
Yeah, I got nothing for you.
And he's got nothing.
Eight, state.
And...
Eight miles.
Why are you doing that?
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
They just forget that it's a game.
Only with these two fucking clouds everyone's super quiet when I'm on the god damn clock
they just feel bad that they don't know
that they're not as good as you Graham
that they're not as skilled
in the area of making up movie titles
okay so Dan we excused him in this round in the area of making up movie titles.
Okay, so Dan, we excused him in this round,
and we went to Brian, and you didn't have anything?
Me?
Is that the direction it's going?
It's mine.
Oh, it's Graham?
Okay, what do you got, Graham?
Which one of the answers yelled out by the audience would you like to use?
Well, I'll use one of the ones that wasn't yelled out,
which is eight men out.
Okay, state men out.
I like it.
So we got Sorcerer's Apprentice, Station Zebra, Head of State Men Out.
And then we go to people in the audience.
No, that doesn't.
Apprentice works, but state men out?
Who ever heard of such a thing?
Such bullshit.
These guys can say anything.
Oh, just let him play.
They want you to lose.
You're the Chael Sonnen of this particular matchup.
No, sir.
That's incorrect.
Brian, what do you think?
So it's out or...
Yeah, out.
Whatever the other one was.
Think of an out movie.
Out.
Outsiders.
Yeah.
That's a good movie.
That's it.
Dan?
Oh, wait, Dan was kicked out last round, right?
Okay.
Okay, so we go back to Graham.
This is between Brian and Graham.
It's gonna...
Cider's house rules.
Boom!
Shag and lag of Vegas.
Alright, so Brian's
our winner.
Oh, fuck yourself!
Bullshit!
That is complete bullshit!
Oh my god,
I'm gonna check your balls.
You got kicked in the nuts.
Japanese style. Hi, I'm going to check your balls. You got kicked in the nuts. Japanese style.
Hi, I'd like one for the cider's house rules.
It's a great house.
Sir, we're not showing that.
We're showing cider house rules.
And that house does rule, by the way.
It's really neat.
They do medical procedures featured in Prometheus.
So Brian is our winner of the whole thing. He was our Build a Title champion.
Now, just a reminder,
we're going to play the Leonard Maltin game in a second.
And don't help him out with answers at all,
because Graham needs to win this
because if he doesn't win tonight,
he has to retire from the show.
He has to retire from podcasting
if he doesn't win tonight.
So it's very, very important.
I'm going to retire from podcasting.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Did you guys bring some name tags?
Let me see your name tags.
We got some nice ones.
We got a gentleman
wrote down Vic Garcia
on a piece of paper.
Does that happen
to be your name also?
Yes.
That'd be weird
if your name was Vic Garcia.
And then we got a lot
of scribbling on paper.
We got some hats.
We got a welcome to Las Vegas.
Looks like a trophy
or a little statue.
That's kind of cool. We got a T- Las Vegas. Looks like a trophy or a little statue. That's kind of cool.
We got a t-shirt of some sort back there. Any food items?
There's a fear and loathing. Is that a fear and
loathing poster? I see the best one.
Who's got Olive Garden? That's right
there. Oh, we got some Olive Garden shit.
That's mine.
Just go and get your name tag you want to
play for. Just physically get it from them.
I don't know if your mic cord will reach that far.
T?
Maybe that one.
This guy racked by a microphone.
Have I actually got to get down here?
I mean, seriously.
She can stand up.
Who are you trying to get it from?
Yeah, the Fear and Loathing dude.
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Yeah, just pass it up.
Pass it forward.
Thank you, sir.
I appreciate it.
There you go, sir. I appreciate it.
There you go, man.
Magic Mike!
Beer and smoking.
All right, I'll do this saw later.
Hey, Graham, I just realized
earlier tonight we created
the porn version of Magic Mike.
It's a scene
of people putting microphones in their ass.
Magic Mike. All right, scene of people putting microphones in their ass. Magic Mike.
All right.
Fear and Loathing.
It says fear and smoking.
Beer and smoking.
Beer and smoking
in Las Vegas.
And what's the guy's name?
Chris.
Chris.
Hello, Chris.
Because that's what
it's supposed to be
a name tag.
Your name should be
on there somewhere.
I get drug tested.
I'm not going to get
in trouble for this one.
For holding a picture of a guy smoking?
Can I get marijuana in my system
from holding a picture of it?
I don't think so.
I don't think you can.
Okay, we're good then.
That's why it's a good thing we're sitting far apart
because you don't want to get a contact high from me.
And then who did you pick to play for, Brian?
Brandon. Who brought leftovers from Olive Garden? Yeah, breadsticks. and then who'd you pick to play for Brian Brandon
who brought
leftovers from
Olive Garden
yeah breadsticks
oh they smell so good
they smell so good
oh
the things Brian
is gonna do
to those breadsticks
in his hotel room
later tonight
he's gonna do
a little magic mic
sounds like
oh magic breadstick
all you can eat
you can make
a homemade fleshlight with a breadstick
from the Olive Garden.
Way to get a plug in there, dude.
That was nice.
Nice cross-promote.
I'm sure Olive Garden doesn't appreciate it, but...
Don't you want them to be a sponsor?
Like, you probably shouldn't talk that way.
They would never be a sponsor,
but I've been contacted by them
and people that work in the office, and they they love me and they think it's hilarious.
What's the most fuckable food at Olive Garden?
Bottomless salad bowl?
Bottomless?
Bottomless? That doesn't sound good.
I like my ladies bottomless.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, what? You don't want them to have an ass? No ass.
None.
I want to be like, turn around. No, I said,
now turn around.
No, turn around.
Actually, it's easy. It's Tour of Italy.
The Tour of Italy?
That's the easiest to fuck.
They have a dish called the Tour of Italy?
Yes. That sounds like a nightmare.
Sounds exhausting.
Like, I don't want to take a tour while eating.
All right, Brian.
So that's, who brought it?
Brandon?
Brandon.
Brandon.
Not Brandon, so calm down.
Okay, Brandon.
Brandon.
Brandon.
Okay, and Graham? I have Amanda Brandon. Brandon. Okay, Graham?
I have Amanda who has Saw.
Amanda made a little saw.
On a foot that's been eaten.
That's the Saw logo and then the blade of a saw.
Is it a vegan Saw?
Yeah, it's a gluten-free, cannibalistic.
Grass-fed.
It's in free range. I can't believe nobody brought you your pansy-ass, cannibalistic. Grass-fed. It's in free range.
I can't believe nobody brought you your pansy-ass food that you like.
Whatever.
Thank you, Amanda.
She's going to bring some later.
What's your room number?
Yeah.
She's going gonna bring some
And she has some long distance calls she'd like to make
From your room phone
Does it still cost a fortune
To make a long distance call from a room phone
In a hotel
I don't know I usually use my CB radio
So
10-4 good buddy
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game you guys
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game, you guys. Let's do it.
Thank you for bringing name tags, Vegas.
Is there anyone here from out of town?
Out of Vegas?
All right.
Welcome.
And you were just in town for the fights?
Yeah.
Yeah?
And then you came to this?
That's cool.
That's real cool.
I like it.
What? That's good. I don't know. I like it. What?
That's good.
I don't know what I'm doing. Sorry.
I didn't like...
Did you like in Ted... You saw Ted, right?
Yeah, we talked about it. Brian
saw it. And I didn't like the way
he made a joke about sounding too much like
Peter Griffin. Yeah, that made no sense.
In the movie. I didn't like when they remade
a remake.
They remade, they made, what's that movie?
Are you going to make sense eventually?
Airplane.
Airplane.
They did a scene from Airplane, but they never admitted it was from Airplane.
So young people that are watching it may not even know what the fuck is supposed to be happening.
Right.
And it's not an airplane.
It was a scene that Airplane made fun of.
Saturday Night Fever.
Saturday Night Fever. Saturday Night Fever.
Yeah.
So it was like a remake of a parody.
But they didn't add any jokes.
They just did the scene.
It was really awkward.
Yeah, it was weird.
It was awkward.
Everyone in the theater got uncomfortable.
We didn't know what to do,
so we just started masturbating
and throwing shit at the screen.
Spider-Man.
All right, Brian, since you won, since you won Build-A-Title, you get to go first, and throwing shit at the screen. Spider-Man.
All right, Brian, since you won Build-A-Title, you get to go first,
and then we'll go to Graham, since Stan has never played
this before, and he's going to have to
catch up as we
play.
You get to pick between three categories, Brian.
You get to
choose between, in honor of
Death Squad Podcast Network,
Death Squad category,
which means movies that have either the word death or squad in the title.
Or, at that maker guy suggested Dead Horse,
which is movies that had four or more sequels.
As in beating a dead horse.
And since we're in Vegas, I wanted to do a category Vegas,
where it's spelled like the old TV show, Vegas with a dollar sign.
And that's, of course, movies that take place in Vegas.
I just double-checked. I did not.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
is not the answer.
I will go with
the ones with the dead horse
because it seems like if there's that many
sequels, it would be easier to know what the movie is.
Right?
I love your strategizing.
You're really doing
this well.
1979 or 2004?
2004. Which one of those years
do you prefer? Okay, this is a movie
that Leonard gives three stars.
It was the first of four
or more sequels.
He says about this movie that
it is unpleasant.
And he also says
about this movie that
it is effective.
Unpleasant and effective.
And effective.
And three stars.
Three stars.
2004.
Film criticism can be a contradictory game.
And Leonard lists ten cast members from this movie.
So how many cast members, reading from the bottom of the list up,
do you think you can name it in?
Brian, Red Band, Death Squad.
Four.
That's a pretty bold bid.
And we go to Graham.
What's he going to do with that?
I would say name that movie.
Whoa.
All right.
So Dan doesn't even have to get involved in this one,
and it's just up to Brian.
I'm going to name four cast members reading from the bottom of the list up,
and we'll see if you can guess this movie that had four or more sequels.
Three stars, 2004, unpleasant, effective.
Unpleasant, effective, Pepto-Bismol.
Unpleasant, effective, Jägermeister.
Unpleasant, effective, home HIV test.
They've got those now.
You just have to pee on a stick.
And I don't think you pee on it.
That's no way.
You stick it in your mouth.
No reason you can't have fun while you're having the test.
Okay.
Your four names are Dina Meyer,
Shawnee Smith,
Mackenzie Vega,
and Ken Leung.
No yelling out.
Leung.
L-E-U-N-G, Ken Leung.
The next name is kind of a giveaway name, but those four might help you.
Or just name a movie that came out around that time that's had a lot of sequels since then.
I want to say it's a Tyler Perry movie.
He hasn't had,
I don't think he's even had
four,
he may have had
four Madea movies total,
but I don't think
he's had more than four.
I think there's only three.
Fuck.
I don't know.
They're hard to keep track of.
I'm waiting for
Madea Goes to Ernest.
Anything?
No, I don't have anything.
Sorry.
It's a pretty funny answer
because it's sitting right next to you.
It's Saw.
Walked right into that, Buzzsaw.
That chick's my neighbor, by the way, also.
What chick?
The guy with the mask?
From all the Saw movies.
I don't think it was the same girl in every movie.
I think it was.
No.
There's like a whole new cast in most of the Saw movies.
Because they always get killed, right?
Isn't that what happens?
Yeah.
Yeah, they get tortured and killed.
It's really fun.
All right, so Graham Elwood has a point, ladies and gentlemen.
A move.
Fine.
Who are you playing for again?
I'm playing for Amanda.
Amanda.
Amanda with the saw sign.
Amanda with the saw sign has one point.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada.
Live at the Louis Anderson Theater at the Palace Station.
I'm Sahara right off the 15th.
I prefer you don't give away where I am right now.
Trying to keep it a private little... Okay, so...
Dan, you get to start.
You get to pick a category.
Does this game seem to make sense to you so far?
Absolutely none.
Okay.
I wasn't expecting it to make sense, though.
Don't worry about it.
Okay, good.
So you get to pick a category.
I'll give you three choices.
Would you like
King of Pancakes category,
which is a movie that was
the number one at the box office
ten years ago to this very day,
to this exact day,
it was the number one movie,
or would you like a category called
Gary Marshall Hasn't Ruined It Yet?
Holidays that Gary Marshall hasn't ruined yet.
That was suggested by the other Sarif G.
Sarif is spelled S-J-A-R-I-F.
I think I've said that on the show before,
so he's gotten plenty of credit for that.
And then, at Wilson Cody,
suggests Kangaroo Jack City,
which is movies where Ice-T plays a kangaroo.
Which one of those categories
would you like to play, Dan Hardy?
What was the first one again?
UFC champion.
The first one was 10 years ago to this day.
I'll take that one.
The number one movie.
Okay, this movie was number one 10 years ago.
Leonard gives it two stars.
He says about this movie
that it's cheesy, that the unconvincing special effects don't help, and celebrity cameos offer only fleeting chuckles.
Yeah, two stars.
Sounds like he didn't like it very much.
And there are seven names.
So how many names that Leonard lists of the cast,
reading from the bottom of those seven names
up towards the top-billed person?
Do you think it would take...
Now, like, a smart opening bid, since you're a new player,
would be to just say seven names,
because then you'd get to hear all the names
if the next person in line asked you to name it.
So what do you think you're going to do?
I think I'll take seven names.
Yes.
We'll go with that.
Very smartly played.
Then we go to Brian.
We switch the order around.
Five.
Five names.
Five says Brian.
Oh, wait, that doesn't switch
the order around. Because Graham
challenged Brian last time. Oh, yeah.
So we go to Graham. I'm sorry about that.
Okay, so he said seven.
I will go with six.
Okay.
I will go with five.
Okay, Dan.
Dan, you can either say name that movie
if you think five names isn't enough for him to figure it out,
or you can bid lower to four, three, two, one, zero.
Negative names.
If I'm honest, all I can think about is breadsticks right now.
I'm really struggling. I'm going to name breadsticks right now. Really struggling.
I'm going to
name it.
I'll give you
five names, Brian.
Do you want the clues again?
Two stars from Leonard, 2002.
Cheesy,
unconvincing, special effects,
don't help, celebrity cameos
offer only fleeting chuckles.
And your four names, five names, right?
Five names.
Five names.
Five names are Johnny Knoxville, Patrick Warburton, Tony Shalhoub, Rosario Dawson, don't yell it out, and Laura Flynn Boyle.
Fuck. No, Flynn. don't yell it out and Laura Flynn Boyle fuck
no Flynn
and the category
was
10 years ago it was the number one movie
at the box office
on this day
do you remember the summer of 2002
what you were doing?
Today?
No.
And you can't tell me like the category,
like as if it was
a comedy or a sci-fi
or anything like that?
It was a movie
that had things
happening in it.
Okay.
I want to say
Mars Attacks,
but I don't think
that's right.
No, but you're
kind of the right genre.
It's Men in Black 2.
Ah, fuck. Men in Black 2, yeah the right genre. It's Men in Black 2. Ah, fuck.
Men in Black 2, yeah.
Johnny Knoxville is in Men in Black 2.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well done, Dan.
Dan Hardy has a point!
Dan's on the board!
Genuine competitor.
And that means that Graham, since he was left out of that last skirmish, he gets to go first.
And then it'll come back at Brian.
You know that movie?
No.
There.
That was a tough one, I guess.
I suck at this game.
Just use your microphone when you talk about how bad you are at it.
I remember now sucking last time I played this game.
Well, that's part of the fun of it,
is you can just sort of make the other person name it,
and sometimes that pays off.
Right.
And let's see what happens with the following three categories.
Graham Elwood, would you like to play Ghost Propofol?
That's movies with Michael Jackson songs in them.
God.
That's movies with Michael Jackson songs in them.
Or, that was suggested by at Satori80.
Or at Aaron D. Gleason suggested Mad Props.
Mad Props, that's movies where someone is killed by a propeller.
That's not what the whole movie's about.
It just happens at some point.
And then at
Whackball suggested
Breaking Bond, which is movies
starring someone who has played James
Bond.
One of the five or six actors who's played
James Bond in other
movies. I will go Bond.
Okay, Breaking Bond.
Jimmy Bond.
Would you like a movie that features a James Bond actor
from 1987 or 1998?
87.
Okay.
People in the audience are dismayed.
Ah!
We've got...
The pirate convention is in town.
Ah!
We've got the cast of The Pirate Adventure over at Treasure Island is in the audience,
and they disapprove of this category.
They disapprove of your choice from 87.
Four stars from Leonard from this movie.
He calls it high-energy entertainment that packs a wallop.
Yeah.
energy entertainment that packs a wallop. Yeah. And he says it's fluidly and often flamboyantly filmed. Fluent, flamboyant, wallop. And he lists 10 names. How many names do you think you get in Graham Elwood this movie that has a James Bond
actor in it
how many do you think
people in the audience are discussing it
trying to figure it out
tell me
what Leonard Maltin said about it again
he said that Graham Elwood is a dope
really
who can't remember shit
and that it's high energy entertainment high energy that Graham Elwood is a dope. Really? And who can't remember shit.
And that it's high energy entertainment.
High energy entertainment that packs a wallop.
And he also says
that it's fluidly
and flamboyantly filmed.
So who's next after me?
Me.
Next up after you would be
who challenged who the last time? Me. I'm after you would be, who challenged who the last time?
Me,
I'm after you.
What?
How do you know?
Well,
yeah,
Dan challenged him,
so it goes this way,
so Brian's next?
Brian will be next,
yes.
Okay,
zero names.
Oh,
no way,
Dan will be next.
Oh,
then fuck that.
No,
seven names.
Because he's already
got a point.
Yeah,
it's a good call.
Seven names.
All right,
Dan.
I can't believe That's the first time the expression
He doesn't need your foolishness, Graham
He has to worry about not getting punched
He doesn't need all this movie shenanigans
You should bake him a gluten pie
And let him win
I'll cuddle him like Louie's dad you should bake him a gluten pie and let him win.
I'll cuddle him like Louie's dad.
Graham, do you think that you would jump up and down if Dan kicked you in the balls right now?
Let's find out.
Let's find out.
Let's find out.
Let's do it.
Brian, get out of the way.
I'm going to check my nuts like a Japanese official.
But you have to open them and go,
Haro.
Face forward and cough.
Okay, ten names, Graham.
Quit fucking around.
I said seven.
Oh, Dan?
Dan, do you want to go lower, or do you want to
uh, do you want to, well...
Excuse me, sir, that's
asking me to get off my phone. The game is on the
phone. I'm probably taking
you a while to figure that out.
And, uh, but I'm also
texting because my girlfriend is pregnant with your
baby.
That's such a reverse slam.
What a reverse slam. What a reverse slam.
You took out your,
you fucking just pulled
a goddamn Kaiser Soze.
You eliminated
your own loved ones.
That's how you took out
a heckler.
That's amazing.
Don't heckle me, sir.
I'm dying of AIDS.
Like, wow.
Way to get after him.
That was amazing.
I wanted to make Phil feel guilty
for calling me out for texting
because his wife,
I mean my wife.
Wow.
Okay, so.
Yeah, I'll quit texting
if you quit drinking.
Oh, look at that goddamn breadstick.
Yeah.
Oh, breadsticks are out.
I can't, that has gluten.
They make them purely of gluten.
Gluten breadsticks.
What was it you were saying about those earlier?
What?
The breadsticks.
I don't know, but I'm hoping that's garlic butter on these.
I'm sure they were talking about you fucking them.
Yeah.
It's seven names to you, Dan.
Oh, you're right.
Graham said seven.
Dan says six.
Then we go to Brian. Do it.
Brian says do it. Name that movie.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it's exciting.
Dan gives us the wins.
This could be the big finish or a three-way tie.
Oh, three-way.
Then we got to finish it off.
And then I'm going to do some more texting.
High energy entertainment that packs a wallop.
That's what someone just texted to me.
That's why I'm looking at it.
Fluidly and often flamboyantly filmed,
and the category was James Bond actor,
someone who's played James Bond.
What year was the movie?
Is in this movie, and the year was 87.
Thank you.
The audience remembers.
And that's the year of the James Bond actor,
not of the actual movie. That's the year of the James Bond actor, not of the actual movie.
That's the year of the movie we're talking about.
That a James Bond actor was in.
And there's a James Bond actor in it.
I was five.
Some excuse.
How old were you
when Casablanca came out?
There are...
How many names do you get?
Seven?
Six.
Okay, Patricia Clarkson, Billy Drago,
Brad Sullivan, Jack Kehoe, Richard Bradford,
and this is the one that may help you out,
Robert De Niro.
In this movie from 1987,
four stars, high energy entertainment.
Fluidly and flamboyantly filmed.
Robert De Niro and an actor that played James Bond.
It was released in 1987.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh!
Think!
I really feel like I should know.
Breadsticks.
Any guesses?
If you don't have a good guess, who challenged him?
Brian?
Brian will get a point.
We'll have a three-way tie.
Did you give up?
Yeah.
Did you tap out?
Yeah.
I, Matt, made him tap out.
What do you guys think?
I'm used to that.
Do you know what it is, Graham?
I can't.
I'm thrown for a loop.
Do you remember a movie called The Untouchables with Sean Connery?
Oh, motherfucker. That's right.
We have a three-way tie,
everybody.
Very exciting. Excellent.
Let's get
this thing over with
because people have texting to do
and the texting guy won't
stop just saying shit to me.
Stop putting that stick near your mouth.
What are you doing?
What are you keeping?
Oh, your amplified voice is
bugging me. I paid to sit in here in peace
and look at a
recreation of Louis Anderson's dad.
I thought this was the dummy
on stage show.
And it is.
Why is,
oh my God.
His dad's got a
boner.
We gotta make
the breadstick
his penis.
Oh, don't mess
with it.
Don't mess with it.
Remember they said
not to mess with it.
Oh, they did?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh.
Don't make his
pants greasy.
Don't.
That's like a morning boner.
Okay, that never happened, you guys.
All right.
Who let the dogs out?
We're here with love and respect.
And I hope that's garlic butter.
I know.
All right, who challenged who?
Dan didn't get it because Brian challenged him.
So we'll start with Graham, and then we'll go to Brian,
and Graham gets to pick between these categories.
In theaters, ciao!
That's movies that take place in Italy.
Or our friend, you know, Red Band,
our friend Don Barris is involved in a very great,
funny motion picture called Windy City Heat,
so that category is movies with either
Windy City or Heat in the title.
And then we have Prometheus.
Prometheus, and that's movies
where there's a prom.
And no ethios.
I will take Prometheus.
Prometheus, he says.
This Prometheus movie is from 1992.
Leonard Maltin gives it one and a half stars.
He says it's the story
of a nerdy teenager
and he calls it formulaic
and he
also says that
one of the lead actors
is limber.
Yeah, what indeed.
And the category is Prometheus so so it has a prom in it.
And the number of names listed are, there's about nine names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Graham Elwood?
Playing for the saw person?
Nine.
Okay, that's a good opening bid.
And we go to Brian.
He says...
Five.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight.
Fifty-eight.
He says fifty-eight names.
Fifty-eight names.
Okay, eight to you, Dan.
Name it.
God damn it.
Fuck.
I feel pretty good about, I mean, Brian, Red Band. I feel pretty good about Brian Redband.
I worked at a movie theater in 1992.
You did?
Yeah.
And I had every single poster on my wall,
so I'm looking at my wall in my head.
So that's the media disqualification, right?
And you get eight out of nine names.
Right.
Yeah, you're going to get this.
Fuck.
Here they are.
Rose McGowan, Richard Mazur, Marriott Hartley,
Rick Dukeman, Robin
Tunney, Megan Ward,
Pauly Shore, Brendan Fraser.
What's it called?
What's it called? Nobody in the audience?
Brian. Say it, Brian.
Hold on. Say it, Brian.
Hold on. Say it, you piece of shit.
Hold on.
You piece of shit.
He's about to tap out. He's about to tap out.
He's about to tap out.
Encino Man.
That's correct.
Encino Man.
That was awesome, dude.
Brian is our winner.
Brian Redman.
Now you can go around telling people that you defeated Dan Harding.
That's pretty sweet.
I made him tap.
Yeah.
But you don't have to get into the details of what a stupid nerdy game it is.
So Dan in Vegas, I made him tap.
Gotta go.
So where is Brandon?
He's over there.
Do you want to give him back?
Do you want these anymore? Do you want to give them back? Oh, I want him to have them. Okay. Where'd he go? Where is he at? He's over there. Do you want to do you don't want these anymore?
You want to give them back?
Oh I want him to have them.
Okay where'd he go?
Where is he at?
He's over to the right.
Oh there you are.
There you are.
Okay so have these back.
And he gets the prize bag.
There you go.
And yeah
the whole prize bag is yours.
And the copy of
Tasteful Nudes
by Dave Hill
is signed by Dan Hardy.
Cause
cause they have
the same initials.
And I forgot to tell Dan to bring something to give away.
And he was nice enough to sign it.
Oh, yeah.
Aren't you supposed to read what's on the back of that?
Not on yours, because he won.
It's the consolation prize is the shitheads.
Do you guys, do you fellas have anything to promote?
Graham, what have you got coming up?
Well, you can go to my tour dates, GrahamElwood.com,
and, of course, the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies,
which is one of the prizes in there.
I'll have some out front,
and that's available at ComedyFilmNerds.com.
Doug did the foreword and autographed copies.
Yeah, we'll hang out.
I'll give away Smug Life stickers
and take pictures and stuff.
So Graham Elwood, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you so much!
Brian Redband
you got a million
different shows
on your podcast network
and
so check it out
Ice House Chronicles
yeah
Bone Zone
yeah
Muff
Muff Said
Muff Said
Triple X
Triple X Squad
X Squad
Joe Rogan Experience
yeah
shit ton of shows
yeah
you're killing it
yeah thank you very much for playing thank you for coming Joe Rogan experience. Yeah. A ton of shows. Yeah. You're killing it. Yeah.
Thank you very much for playing.
Thank you for coming.
Brian Redman.
And finally,
fighting again on September 2nd?
29th.
29th.
Fighting on March 30th.
No, fighting on September 29th out of...
Where's that in... Nottingham, England.
Nottingham, England.
Seriously, text someone
to come and pick you up.
Text them to come get you because you're
drunk.
Don't stagger over to the oyster bar
and start eating. That's what I did the last time I was
here and I didn't sleep for three days.
Even though it was delicious.
I had too much.
I had too much.
It was good.
It was good.
Shush.
You're coming on strong.
I'm trying to wrap up the show.
Dan, take care of that guy.
Dan Hardy, everybody.
Thank you, Dan.
I'm going to be at Wise Guys
in Salt Lake City on Sunday, July 15th
with Captain Spaceship's
own David Huntsberger.
Thank you, guys. Thank you, Louis Anderson
Theater, Palace Station.
I love the
locals in Vegas and the visitors.
Makes for a nice mix
of people. And as always,
Scientology is a shithead
and Abraham Lincoln
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold and
viewing prowess makes it foggy.
There's no room in his heart
for you, cause Doug
loves movies.