Doug Loves Movies - Chad Daniels, Colt Cabana, Kjell Bjorgen and Jacob Sirof guest
Episode Date: June 20, 2016Live from the Woman's Club of Minneapolis, Doug welcomes Chad Daniels, Colt Cabana, Kjell Bjorgen and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love Muslims.
Coming to you once again
from the Women's Club of Minneapolis
in, wait for it,
Minneapolis, Minnesota!
It's Saturday, June 18th, 2016,
and I know I'm about to be impressed by some name tags.
Let's see. Oh
Yeah, I knew they would be big and plentiful
And I love how many of them light up just really coming in handy right now
And I love the one what What's the JFK one?
Is that a JFK poster?
And what's it...
What'd you change it to?
JFK-D?
And that...
Is that the poster where you wrote down
the names of every guest that's ever been on?
She tried.
So how many names do you think are on that thing?
Between five and six hundred people
have been on this podcast.
Holy shit.
Alright, well, go ahead and put them down.
And when the guests are trying to pick the name tags,
if there's somebody that could turn the house lights on,
that'd be awesome.
Because we don't want just the light-up ones to get chosen.
Exactly like that,
but when I'd like it to happen.
Hey, balcony.
Doug Pluggs, Los Angeles, Tuesday night,
UCB Franklin at 9.30,
Philadelphia, Wednesday and Sunday,
Salt Lake City, Tuesday, June 28th,
douglosemovies.com.
That's douglosemovies.com.
Did you guys hear that Acme Comedy Company might have to leave their location they've been in for almost 25 years?
Yep, yep.
You're right to boo.
It was my decision.
And I'm here to apologize.
No, but you can go to acmecomedycompany.com
No, but you can go to acmecomedycompany.com and there's a petition to help keep Minneapolis' premiere
and in my mind, only comedy club.
I'll mention it again later for people that are listening
and don't want to grab a pen.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
Two big movies came out this weekend.
Finding Dory, the story of a fish with short-term memory.
And Central Intelligence, the story of, I don't know.
I'm guessing the dialogue is more intelligent
in the Forgetful Fish movie
so watch
Dory not Central this has been
watched it's not that first name
basis edition
one of our friends over at
City Pages did a
little blurb about this show here,
so I brought for the prize bag
a copy of the issue with...
And I signed right next to the little article,
and I'll tell you what I wrote
after I read you part of it.
Doug Benson, famous for his marijuana-influenced humor,
comes to town with a sold-out stand-up show at Acme,
and then he also mentions the hilarious Daniel Coren headlines
the rest of the week, so plug for that guy.
And it says,
Benson will also record an episode of his popular podcast,
Doug Lowe's Movies, this Saturday at 4.20, then parentheses, get it?
This is my favorite part, though.
Once fairly accessible to the press, Benson now eschews interviews.
I didn't get a call about being interviewed
for this paragraph.
But if I did, I probably eschewed it.
I've never been accused of eschewing anything.
So what they did was,
he goes,
fortunately, Jeff Tate, a frequent panelist on the show,
was able to provide some insight.
So he interviewed...
Like, this guy was not going to just be able to write something
based on, you know, his own opinions.
I guess, I don't know, maybe, yeah,
I guess I should appreciate the extra ink.
But this is what Jeff Tate said.
I definitely watch more movies
since becoming a regular on the show.
What, why is that insight into what
this show is going to be like?
What another guest says about...
He goes on to say Tate appears on the show about once a month. The panel
discusses current movies, and then
they play the Leonard Moulton game, which, no,
we don't anymore.
And as with all
Doug Lowe's movies tapings, the guests
for the Minneapolis recording are a closely
guarded secret.
I am not on the Minneapolis show,
Jeff Tate can confirm.
This is some hard-hitting reporting, you guys.
Well, the guests are a secret,
and I'm a reporter, so let's see if I...
I'll find out who's not going to be on the show.
But Tate goes on to say,
but I know who is on the show, and it's going to be good.
There's at least one person who's local,
and they're all hilarious.
So, yeah.
So look forward to that, you guys.
Hilarious.
So, yeah.
So look forward to that, you guys.
I mean, I might as well bring them out right now.
Because Jeff Tate is right.
They are all hilarious, and one of them is local.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Jacob, Serov, Chad, Daniels,
Chell, Bjorgengen and Colt Cabana I'm sorry, I forgot to say what I wrote on the article.
I wrote, busy eschewing!
Exclamation point, Doug Benson.
In pink sharpie.
So that's special.
And I also have a lot of other stuff in the prize bag.
But let's meet our guests real quick.
Let's start on the opposite end down there.
How many times have you done this show now?
Like three, maybe?
I think so.
Two, three?
Three.
Say three.
Let's go three.
Sure.
It's Chad Daniels, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
Chad Daniels, everybody. Hey, everybody.
He drove down from Foster Farms.
Fergus Falls.
Fergus Falls.
At least he didn't say Frostbite Falls.
That's the oldest trick in the book.
They do? People say that?
All the time.
Do you know Bullwinkle?
Yeah, I fucking know a cartoon moose.
You probably don't even know any real moose.
Couple.
That's the proper pluralization of that, right?
That you don't know any real moose?
You don't say mooses.
Yeah, I think that's right.
Yeah, moose.
Meese?
No, definitely not meese.
Just checking.
Well, thank you for driving the three hours to be here with us today.
I'm glad you were able to make it.
My pleasure.
And what do you got for the prize bag?
Prize bag, here's what we're looking at.
Somebody just goes, Jesus.
Whoa.
My.
That is too much. He brought his own bag. So it's going to be 4th of July pretty soon. Whoa. That is too much.
He brought his own bag.
So it's going to be 4th of July pretty soon.
I got some poppets.
They used to be called snaps,
but that's probably racist or something.
That's my safe space.
You can't say snaps.
I got a sleeve of Titleist Pro V1 balls.
It's US Open right now, and you'll hear on there, those are the best.
I also have a mug. I was just in Vancouver. I went to Vancouver Island.
This is a Starbucks mug from Vancouver Island.
And also, Chell, sorry to blow the bubble here, but Chell's on the show, and he and I were working together,
and he spent $100 at Costco for food,
and he hated all of it,
except this thing of nuts.
And he left them in my car,
and I've been taking pictures with these nuts
everywhere I go and sending them to him.
And now I'm going to give these away
so as someone grabs them,
I'm just going to watch his fucking heart break.
So that's it.
So somebody...
Somebody today is going to win those nuts?
Oh, you can win those nuts.
These nuts right here?
Somebody's going to win them?
Now, for sure don't eat those nuts.
For sure.
They've been opened.
Well, that's not a good thing to give away.
They could forget that you warned them.
They'd be all excited they won the nuts.
Nuts really go bad if you leave them in the car?
Well, I don't think it's about going bad, but they've been opened,
and I don't want people to just, at midnight tonight, going,
oh, my God, I can't believe we ate these nuts.
That was me with nuts in my mouth.
It's fine. It's not important.
I got this thing somewhere recently.
It's a, uh, some sort of, uh, thing
that you pour into tea, into water,
and it makes tea, but it comes in a nice fancy
little bottle. And there you go. Also joining us on the panel today is Colt Cabana, everybody.
You know, I actually do know a couple people named Moose.
I've wrestled a couple dudes named Moose before.
Yeah, that's probably a popular name in wrestling for a big guy.
I've done that too.
Speaking of wrestling, you're in town to wrestle tonight?
Yeah, I'm wrestling over at First Avenue for First Wrestling,
and the show is sold out.
Was anyone here going to go to that?
It's sold out, so it's no big deal.
Our demographic isn't crossing that well right now.
Scott Hall will be there
and he smokes hella weed.
Used to, allegedly. Sorry. Scott Hall will be there and he smokes helloweed so used to allegedly sorry
was this is this your first time playing First Avenue no I go there been there
before yeah I go there quite a lot for first wrestling yeah it's pretty I only
played the side room but it's pretty pretty cool place to you know it's one
of the few venues that feels real super and important. Yeah, I'm a big star.
I'm in the first match.
What does that mean?
That meant nothing to either of you guys.
Sorry.
I'm the scrub of the show, all right?
You have Jordan flip-flops on.
That's something.
I know.
A fan sent these to me for free.
I can't afford these.
What?
Yeah, those are pretty fancy.
What'd you bring for the prize bag?
I hope not the shoes.
All right, so I have these two documentaries
that I made about my life on the road
called The Wrestling Road Diaries
and The Wrestling Road Diaries 2,
spelled T-O-O like
Look Who's Talking.
Also,
I signed these for you.
Those are the documentaries I made.
I have a podcast, a storytelling podcast
about wrestling on the Howell Network.
And we're
coming out with a new season.
And I did one about a wrestling promotion
in Japan called Dog Legs,
and it's handicapped professional wrestling.
And there's a documentary that's coming out June 28th.
You can buy it anywhere.
And we also did a story on it,
and so they sent me a T-shirt.
Where was that?
This guy's name is Shintaro.
He has cerebral palsy,
and he's one of the best wrestlers in the world.
Also his favorite food, dog legs.
And then...
Speak when spoken to, Jacob.
And then last time I was on the show,
I revealed that I used to get Netflix when they would mail it in, and they would burn it,
and I would, they wouldn't burn it,
I would burn it, and I would keep a copy for me,
just for, you know, for my own records.
And I would draw the DVD art on it,
so I have two of those for my own records. And I would draw the DVD art on it so I have two of those for my collection.
This is my own drawn art of
Lars and the Real Girl.
And then also
my own drawn
burned DVR slash
Rocket Man DVD.
It kind of looks like
it has four boobs on it. What are those things called?
Those are boobs
Four pairs of boobs
That's what I got
Alright, we'll pass all that stuff down
And thank you for being here
I think they're electrons though
And we've already heard from him a few times
And we're going to hear from him again right now.
Jacob Searoff is here, everybody.
Thanks, Coon Rapids.
Oh, I brought a Peacemaker pipe that's only been used once
by two of the people on this stage.
What do you have, Jacob?
Some of you might know I'm kind of into the Star Wars movies
and I brought this pin from Disneyland
It's a Finn Star Wars pin
It looks lovely
There's the one black person in the room right now
who's on this pin
That's interesting that you brought a pin
It is a really cool one
It's Finn, right?
It's Finn, yeah
It's from Disneyland in Los Angeles
And I also brought this Mark Wahlberg and I have the same personal trainer It is a really cool one. It's Finn, right? It's Finn, yeah. It's from Disneyland in Los Angeles.
And I also brought this,
well, Mark Wahlberg and I have the same personal trainer.
We've just been doing a lot of reps together lately.
And so he gave me this Ted 2 doll,
which talks, and it says about 35 different phrases.
I've tried to get to the end of it,
and I didn't.
I was not successful.
Do you want to?
I'm sure Doug will want to play with it.
Here, I'll give you one.
I'm going to get a huge migraine in the pocket lot in about 20 minutes.
It's a lot of that kind of stuff.
Nailed it.
Wait, what are you... If you love talking on a walkie-talkie, you're going to love that shit.
But the best part about this thing...
Sorry, Chad.
The best part about this thing is there's a...
Right on the back it says, for adults.
And then right underneath that it says, warning, for safety's sake,
remove all tags and plastic loops before giving this item to a child.
Before giving this adult item to a child.
Then at the bottom it says, please retain all information
for future reference.
Don't throw away that box, is what they're saying.
You're going to be liable. So that's pretty cool.
Alright, I've got to hear one of these things.
I couldn't even tell what he was saying when you did it.
Oh, shit.
Okay, here we go. How do you make him talk? I think it's
the other hand. Swear at him. You just punch him in the face? I think it's the other hand.
You squeeze his hand? This is, oh there we go. Okay. All right. Oh, he talks forever. Where does it come out of, though?
Do you know?
Does it come out of his butt?
It's on.
It can eat chairs on me.
That felt smooth.
That felt really smooth.
That's what you get for fucking exercising.
Your turn to play with it, kids.
All the plastic tags have been removed.
Here you go.
Retain that information.
And helping me out with the microphone
on that, first time guest on the
show, it's Chell Bjorgen, everybody.
Hey.
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, Jeff Tate's very
excited about you being here. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. He's a big fan.
I know. He's great. I just saw him
a couple weeks ago. He's great. He's happy.
And he's
always got a lot of flair on his jacket.
He's always got pins, you know, that say jacket he's always got pins you know to say cheers
and shit on them and
somebody
business card in this melee over here
oh no here it is
somebody gave me this what's the name here
it's the at the midnight
society
or at worship the sky on
Instagram and Twitter and it's
it's a there's a Django unchained And it's a... There's a Django Unchained pin.
It's just Django's face.
It's pretty.
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
Two black pins on one show.
And then a...
And then a John Candy and Spaceballs pin.
Yeah.
It's very nice.
And they included, just for fun,
just a sticker of Nick Offerman.
Just a Nick Offerman face.
Not Aukerman.
Thank you, Chill.
And what do you have for us today?
You brought a whole bag of stuff.
I did.
Well, and this actually wasn't worked out.
Chad was talking about my snacks that I bought that I hate.
I bought these from Costco, and I hated them.
It's enlightened.
The good for you crisp.
I thought they were flavored peanuts like sriracha
but they're roasted beans and they're gross
so I don't want them.
They come in sea salt,
sriracha, mesquite barbecue,
or go to fucking hell.
Yeah, they're nasty, so enjoy that.
100-calorie bags, though.
24 bags in the box.
That's only 2,400 calories.
It's a solid meal.
400 calories.
It's a solid meal.
And I got some DVDs. I got
Glow, the gorgeous ladies of wrestling.
The very best.
Wasn't expecting
that reaction.
Squid and the Whale.
Maxed out.
Really?
Everything's a competition. Poor Squid and the Whale. Maxed Out. Really? Everything's a competition.
Poor Squid and the Whale can't beat the ladies of wrestling.
Maxed Out, which is a great documentary.
I love documentaries, and it's about the bubble and how it happened.
It's entertaining. It's fun.
I'm serious, you guys.
Twister, which that movie affected me.
It affected me.
And then along came Polly.
Oh, yeah, and that.
And a book of matches that says fucking shithead on it.
Oh, shithead.
It really is chewing gum?
I thought it was matches.
It was chewing gum, you guys.
Finally, chewing gum with the word fucking on the front of it.
I'm going to give this to the same kid I gave the Ted 2 doll to.
Thank you for bringing all of that, Shel.
You can just put it back in your bag.
Someone's going to win three bags today.
Because also, I brought from my personal VHS collection
an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
entitled Checkpoint.
I don't remember that one.
Oh, hey, and another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
entitled What's My Line? was the name of that episode.
So that might have been the one where everyone couldn't talk,
like they all lost their voices.
I think it's the one where everybody did bad improv.
Oh, and also, somebody sent me this long-ass letter
and a DVD of their movie,
and I'll just cut to the chase.
The movie's not a success.
He says, in our first month on iTunes,
we had four downloads.
So, but it's the producer-director of the movie,
and he said, give it away on the show,
and so I'm happy to do that just now.
The movie's called Seahorses,
and someone calls it an extraordinary tale,
and another one calls it an indie film that excels.
And it's rated NR.
So it's not rated.
It's got a rating of not being rated.
And all of that is going in the prize bag.
So good luck to somebody today, this afternoon.
Thank you. So good luck to somebody today, this afternoon.
You won two league MVPs, four Super Bowl rings, guaranteed first ballot Hall of Famer. Now let's give my handjob to Mr. Hemp.
He's fucking giving a speech. He's like...
Wow, you make history come alive.
It's like they just said,
let's put everything he's ever said
and let's not worry about context.
I like how you put it to his neck
like he had a tracheotomy.
Fuck you.
I still don't know where the speaker is
on that thing.
But at least we could kind of hear it.
I have a question I always like to ask every panelist
on the show. We'll start with Chad on the other end
there. What was the last movie
that you saw? I think it's called
How to Be Single. I was on an airplane.
And then I watched that.
And you found out how to do it? Yeah. I think so. airplane. And then I watched that. And you found out how to do it?
Yeah, I think so.
Was it educational? I think so, yeah.
So you're ready to be single?
You just need to be from Australia and be chubby
and everything works out.
I thought there were like four girls
in that.
Yeah, but that's the only one it really works out with.
What's her name?
What's that girl's name? What's that girl's name?
What's the girl's name?
Rebel Wilson. Yeah, thank you.
But somebody up there said a guy's name. That's not funny.
Thor.
Thor.
I saw that movie. I didn't care for it really.
It wasn't the best. There was a lot of complaining.
I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything,
but you could have watched Deadpool.
No, it was the only thing showing.
Oh, it was just the one movie for the whole plane.
So they cut out all the sex stuff.
Yeah.
And it's a fucking sex comedy.
I didn't even know there was sex stuff.
Yeah, it's like a sex comedy.
God damn it.
I'm so furious.
It's like I've been jacking off on a plane.
Well, in a Rebel Wilson movie, that's kind of a favor to the audience. I'm so furious like I've been jacking off on a plane well
in a Rebel Wilson movie that's kind of a favor
I'd like my entire
I'd like my entire airfare back
because you edited that film
and they'd be like how about $7
because that's kind of the price of a movie ticket
I don't know
well it just came down
just all of a sudden the screens came out
and it started playing
and I was like,
yeah, I'll get behind this.
Yeah.
And you watched it.
I sure did.
While reading HGTV magazine.
Who wants to fuck?
That's what I thought.
Now that you know
how to be single.
That's what I thought.
I think that was in,
that was a selling point of the movie.
I think in the ads they said,
this movie's perfect for multitasking.
Grab a periodical and enjoy.
I think you're right.
Colt, what was the last movie you saw?
I somehow acquired an Xfinity app,
and now I have Showtime, and I watched D-Train.
D-Train, right? The D-Train
with Jack Black and James
Marsden. Yes. Yeah, it's
an interesting movie.
Eh.
It was like,
oh man.
Like, it wasn't a bad movie
but I just felt like, I don't know, it was a weird
story for Jack Black to take that role, I thought.
I didn't see that ever being an amazing movie, whoever was in it.
Yeah.
To me, he seems to pick roles that he thinks would be interesting, and he doesn't seem to do the same thing.
He doesn't like to repeat himself, but I didn't think it was the perfect...
I wasn't crazy about it.
But I can watch School of Rock over and over and over again
So I I think yeah
I think there should just be like a series of Dewey Finn movies where he just pretends to be something and gets away with it
Like I was gonna say like it's the perfect
Funny, so that cuz I was gonna say it's like the perfect TBS movie where you it's just on and you watch it
But I think School of Rock is the perfect TBS movie.
Yeah.
I'll watch that no matter what.
It's super watchable every time.
And I went even deeper.
I saw the Broadway show version of it and I loved it.
Of the D train?
Yeah.
Yeah, Broadway's trying this new thing.
When a movie doesn't work out, they think maybe it'll work as a musical.
Jacob, what about you?
What's on your...
Well, I haven't been to the theater since Civil War,
but I just watched one of my favorite movies,
Naked Lunch, the other day on HBO.
Just for laughs?
Yeah, it's a fun one.
Really sweet, light comedy.
Right, just people having gay sex with insects and stuff.
It's a fun movie.
I watch it with my kids.
Somebody shoots themselves in the head in the first...
No, he shoots his wife in the head.
Oh, there you go.
That's actually how to be single.
I told him to say that backstage.
I'm going to set up this naked lunch joke.
I would definitely not see Rebel Wilson in naked lunch.
I would not.
I don't want to see naked anything with Rebel Wilson.
That was sort of the joke I was making,
but no fat shaming in here, you guys.
This is a woman's club.
Yeah.
Get your shit together, men.
I'm just not into blondes.
You're what?
I'm not into blondes. I'm fine with their size.
I can't hear what you're saying. I'm just not into blondes, Doug. not into blondes. I'm fine with their size. I can't hear what you're saying.
I'm just not into blondes, Doug.
Not into blondes?
Yes.
All right.
You know me well enough to know size is not an issue for me.
Yeah, you'll take any size vagina.
No, you're like a variety.
You're into variety with the ladies.
No shaming.
I'm not ashamed of anything I do with the ladies.
That was a dude that wooed.
That was definitely a dude.
Woo!
Jacob's not ashamed.
Woo!
Chell, what was the last movie you saw?
I went to Redbox
and I...
You guys, no Redbox shaming.
Thank you. It's a women's club.
I thought that kind of lasted.
Thanks, Doug.
Hello, my name is Dor Doris is what I saw.
That is a very good movie.
If you haven't seen it yet,
red box it up, you guys.
Yeah, you enjoyed it?
I was pleasantly surprised.
I had no idea what to expect,
and I didn't know it was Michael Showalter directed it.
Dark and funny and honest
and time...
No, it's very entertaining.
It's a fun movie because you just don't
see Sally Field as the
Doris in the title
character and she
is an older woman
that doesn't have a man
and is trying to, you know, hook up or whatever.
And she meets a younger guy,
and a fairly realistic relationship springs from that.
And she's really a great character and a great performance.
Right.
She's really funny in it.
I mean, she's always been kind of a funny actress
in Smoking the Bandit and Flying Nun and shit. But in this, she's really funny in it. She's always been kind of a funny actress in Smoking the Bandit and Flying Nun and shit.
But in this,
she's really playing a character and being really funny.
She was funny, but
who stole the show was Tyne Daly.
Tyne Daly is like,
it's her best friend and they argue
about stuff and it's fucking hilarious.
Yeah, because last time I saw her was in
Cagney and Lacey. Starsky and Hutch.
I thought. Starsky and Hutch. You think Starsky and Hutch is a show that Ty I saw her was in... Cagney and Lacey? Starsky and Hutch, I thought.
Starsky and Hutch.
You think Starsky and Hutch is the show that Tyne Daly was in?
I was confused.
It's Cagney and Lacey.
Okay.
Did you think Cagney and Lacey were two dudes,
or you just didn't even know Cagney and Lacey at all?
I went for a cheap joke.
Yeah, it's funny.
Sometimes you say a joke where you're pretending to be dumb,
and then it just comes off super dumb.
It was a short hair-shaming joke, is what it was.
Are you trying to give an example right away of what I was just talking about?
Are you trying to give an example right away of what I was just talking about?
What was the last movie I saw?
What was the last movie you saw, Doug? Yeah, you guys have to guess.
Probably Deadpool.
I watch it on planes all the time.
And on the flight here, I watched a few episodes of Shameless.
I'm on a shameless tear.
Yeah, I like that show.
If you guys know the cast of that show,
tell them I like them.
They do a good job.
Good job over there at Shameless.
If you know anybody at Netflix,
maybe tell them the American version
would be great.
Nope, are we not doing that?
Gotcha.
You guys just shut me down in a fucking hurry.
They were in a rush to shut you down.
What's that?
They were in a rush to shut you down.
Oh, man.
We cannot wait to shut this down.
Just looked at me like, what are you talking about?
What did you say, though?
I said, if you know anyone at Netflix, let them know the American version would be great.
And then all of you went, mm.
That's Netflix shaming.
That's a callback from before.
I don't get the American part.
The American version?
There's a...
Why are you patting me?
I feel bad.
I will fucking body slam you in front of all these people.
Jesus Christ.
Prince dies and they let wrestling into
first stab and he thinks he can fucking touch me.
and he thinks he can fucking touch me.
We established that he's been there several times.
I know.
But that's still a solid joke.
Thank you so much.
I love how you had to use your rebuttal,
but still, okay. It's really, really hilarious.
No, on Netflix, I typed in shameless
and a fucking weird version came up.
It's British.
That's why I said American, you motherfuckers.
I know it's British.
That's why I said let them know
the American version would be great.
You dirty assholes.
Why are you looking at me like I'm a fucking prick?
I don't want the British version.
I want the British version.
I want the American one.
With the guy from Fargo, go fuck yourselves.
Sorry I freaked out on your podcast,
but Jesus Christ, these guys.
You've had it with William H. Macy.
I've just had it with, I'm from here,
and people are like, why is he doing this? It is so nice outside right now, no one should be mad.
It's fucking, it's absurd.
We just do things a little differently at the women's club.
We pursue a gentler form of comedy.
But I just didn't, I had no idea that Shameless was a thing that used to be British and then there's an American version.
I had no idea.
I think all shows are.
At most.
Sanford and Son was Steptoe and Son.
Which like, why'd they even change it?
Here I come.
I'm having the big one.
God damn it, you guys.
I swear to God.
I'm on, and a lot of you just aren't giving it.
I don't care.
I get it.
I don't have a sleeveless jean jacket on,
but I grew the beard.
It's a Jeff Tate reference.
Does British Shameless have a different name? I don the beard. It's a Jeff Tate reference. Does British Shameless have a different name?
I don't know.
No, it's Shameless.
I just refused to watch it.
Is it straight up Shameless?
I just saw a different guy with long hair,
and I was like, nope, next.
Back to brows.
Oh, I like that guy with the long hair.
That was the part of the show where I say,
let the games begin.
Bring your name tags out of the shadows.
And into the light.
You guys got a lot to choose from.
Get the house lights up a little bit more to help you out.
Is there some in the balcony?
Oh, shit.
I did, but I see the BBA.
I know him.
So go ahead and go grab one, you guys.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
We're back.
That was an eventful...
Wow.
That was a fun name tag selection session.
Oh, my God.
That was amazing.
For the listeners at home, Jacob fell off the stage.
I kind of like Jedi flipped off the stage
for people that didn't see it happen.
For the listeners at home, no he did not.
He missed a step
and for sure fell off the stage.
He missed it.
There's no step there anyway.
I wasn't trying to leave the stage for the stage. He missed it. There's no step there anyway. I wasn't trying
to leave the stage, for the record. I thought there was
more stage. You were just going to reach down.
It does. It's unfortunate.
Unless it's just some crazy
adrenaline, like when a cat gets hit and doesn't know it's hurt
by a car. I don't think I'm
injured at this point, but I fell really hard on that guy.
Welcome to my world, buddy.
I know. I was going to say. Can I get in that first match?
Yeah, I think you're ready for it.
Bring yours in, Chad, a little bit.
Tell us about it.
This is Amanda, and her face is on the Kung Fu Panda.
And when you said Jack Black doesn't like to do things that he, you know, repeat things?
Yep.
Kung Fu Panda 3.
Yep.
like to do things that he'd, you know, repeat things. Yup. Kung Fu Panda 3.
Yup.
And 2. And this one.
I think when they're like, come stand in a booth for a day
for $5 million, he's like, okay.
I know. And then your face is on Monkey.
Fair enough.
Okay.
I picked this because
Kung Fu Panda, my kids and I watch
this a lot. Actually, beg your pardon.
Kung Fu Amanda. Beg your pardon.
But Kung Fu Panda, my kids and I
watch this and the peach tree scene
in the original one is
probably my favorite. And I've gone
to therapy a couple times
and I never learned more there
than I did from that scene.
Alright. therapy a couple times. And I never learned more there than I did from that scene. All right.
Well, I haven't
seen any of the Kung Fu Amanda movies,
but now I
want to at least see the peach tree
scene. What do you got there, Colt?
I have.
Oh, no. He opened an umbrella indoors.
I should fall off the stage.
Whoa!
All right, yeah, tip it a little bit
so I can read what it says.
It's Mary Bobpins.
Mary Bobpins.
And I don't know if his name is Mary or Bob or Pins.
Could be any of them.
But I don't smoke weed,
but I could smell the spray paint from here
and I am high as shit.
Can I take a whiff of that?
No, thanks.
All right.
I stick with the drug what brung me.
Jacob?
Well, I risked my life.
Did you know I fell off the fucking stage?
Did everybody see that?
I fell off the stage, like Kelsey Grammer.
I didn't even see my name was on it. It says, Dan
presents Donut Wars, The Siroth Awakens,
which is really flattering. It's got me playing Kylo
Ren, and you as Captain Phasma,
Doug. And then it's got Sam Levine as a
Stormtrooper, and Jeff Tate as another
Stormtrooper. Actually, and there's
two Kylo Rens on this one, I guess.
Because Graham is also a Kylo Ren.
Yeah, he looks more Kylo Ren-ish
than I do. But it's a lot of effort put into that.
And a box of donuts.
We got a box of donuts from Cub Foods.
There you go.
Oh, I didn't take a picture.
Sorry.
Jill?
I've got Dan Hart with a vengeance.
Yeah, it's very simple
I like that
Not a lot of effort
It doesn't know what to do with CGI
I don't either
Or computer graphics, what's the difference
Was that really the original tagline for that movie?
Think fast, look alive, die hard
It had to be
Because he didn't do anything
except add the Dan on top of it.
Because he didn't even get rid of the Dan.
He just put the Dan over the Dan.
I'm going to guess he didn't fuck
with the log line.
Alright, you guys. Well, let's
pass those donuts down here, Jacob.
Woo!
There you go. Well, let's pass those donuts down here, Jacob. There you go.
Thank you very much.
Oh, shit.
Such a big, big, heavy box from Cub Foods.
Yeah, you leave these out if you want bears to come to your home.
Did Jacob fall off the stage again?
I like how there's a guy in the second row
that wants one.
Fuck yeah.
That's so funny.
Shit, my glasses.
Very dangerous.
It's a very dangerous stage.
But I tripped on this part.
I did too.
I landed on a part that wasn't in the audience.
Well, I just kept going.
I had more momentum.
So I just kept...
Like, that's the initial part I tripped on. So I just kept... That's the initial part I tripped on.
So just to be...
For people listening, there's one
three-foot mini-stage
that's a step down where little
children would dance during a musical.
And that's what's causing
all the fucking problems.
So if we killed children,
no one would fall off a stage
ever again.
We've also never had problems...
We've done the show here before.
That's never happened.
Before they inserted the second stage of death, I guess.
There's a lot of, like, you know,
piano concertos here and shit like that
where they don't even dare to walk into an area
that's not lit.
Do you guys want to throw a donut at somebody?
I want to throw a donut.
And try not to fall down?
Hey, dude who saved my life, you want a donut?
Oh, there you go. Yeah.
That's two good catches
so far today.
Yes!
I like that.
Chell has the random approach, like...
Not to anybody specific.
Put up those lights.
Put the sign.
I want to try for the sign.
I'm going to hit that sign.
Hey, did you guys check out the arm on the San Francisco kid?
He almost killed someone.
These last four are super messy ones.
I kind of feel like we shouldn't throw those.
There's a jelly. There's a jelly.
Yeah, the jelly ones, that just...
Throw the jelly. Oh, the jelly.
Oh, no.
Hold.
Hold.
Be careful, everybody.
Balcony.
Oh, no!
It's raining.
It snowed on the audience the entire way there.
It's Minnesota.
There's like a mist of powdered sugar in the lights.
That was like a jelly donut.
I love tomorrow morning, somebody's going to be like, what is this? And taste it
and it's going to be jelly frosting
from their hair.
Well, apologies to the
Women's Club. This is very
unbecoming.
I think when Jacob
fell, he broke his arm and now can throw a 95
mile per hour fastball.
I got somebody pretty good.
That was my Tim Lincecum.
Give him the cheese.
One with the high heat.
Oh, no, there's some other dessert over here.
Oh, it's more donuts.
You don't fall.
So scary.
Wait, you ate some of them?
What kind of...
All right, these are standing by
if anybody wants to throw some more.
I don't want that one over there.
Sir.
Is everybody excited about Father's Day tomorrow?
Good for you.
There's no trivia on this episode,
just physical challenges, I guess.
Yeah, I just need a while to recover from my injuries.
I think Colt brought this energy. I blame Colt.
This is the perfect...
For future listeners, bring the most plain,
unappetizing donut possible.
Oh, no, those are great.
Well, some people like them, sure,
but there's no frosting.
They're not going to make a big mess
when I just go like that with it.
Oh, no, I apologize for that.
You should be warned that I'm about to throw the donut.
All right. Let's play some games.
Let's get...
Let's get this thing...
Let's get it back on track.
I was stalling a little bit
because the traffic was really bad outside.
I just thought people might come late.
That's not why we're 50 minutes into the show and haven't started the games yet.
Some other stuff for the reasons.
Some other stuff.
Uh-oh.
I thought Jacob was just gonna
just go for it again.
Just like, I can do this.
Let's play Jason and Deb's
IMDB game.
You fellas all know how this works?
You buzz in with your own name.
That's your buzzer.
You just say your name.
And after I name the first of four projects
that's on a person's IMDB page as their top things, their four most
known for things. So the idea is you just have to, once you've heard one title, you
might want to jump in and guess, but it's negative one point if you miss, and so
you might want to hold back until you hear that second title, and it's more obvious who the answer is. And then if you get a correct answer,
you get a bonus point for each additional name
in the top four that you can name.
I'm sorry, Amanda.
You don't think you're going to be good at this?
We'll see.
But it's nice to apologize to a lady
before you fail.
I feel like
whether you're good or bad at it, you're going to find a way to yell
at the crowd about it.
We're all exercising
some demons up here today.
Mine was that when I was young and tried to participate in sports,
I'd fall down and everyone would laugh.
So I'm glad that doesn't happen anymore.
First person to five points
is our winner.
Alright, uh, this first one
goes like this.
The first of four movies this person
is known for is
Fast and Furious 6.
Chell, Vin Diesel.
Whoa, slow down.
Chell buzzed in and he said Vin Diesel. Ballsy play, slow down.
Chell buzzed in and he said,
Vin Diesel.
Ballsy play, Chell.
And it's incorrect.
You now have minus one point.
Here's the second title.
Might help out a little better.
San Andreas.
Cool.
I'm going to say because I'm on the show, The Rock?
Who?
No, The Rock.
No, The Rock is right.
Dwayne Johnson.
Yeah, that's fine.
They call him The Rack.
Those are all the right words.
Yeah, I thought you said The Rack.
That's what he's called in this show. Is it Nordstrom Rack?
That was the Chicago accent coming out there. There it is. Yeah, I hadn you said The Rack. That's what he's called in this film. Is it Nordstrom Rack? That was the Chicago accent coming out there.
Yeah, there it is.
Yeah, I hadn't heard that before.
All right, so now you get to name two more movies
featuring Dwayne The Rock Johnson
for potential two more points.
Just name any two films that he was in
that you think he's best known for.
The Tooth Fairy.
What? What?
I didn't get laughed at.
And what's the other one?
And WrestleMania 30.
No, unfortunately, neither one of those
made the cut.
His top four, the remaining
two are G.I. Joe Retaliation.
His top four, the remaining two, are G.I. Joe Retaliation.
For the listeners, we were all posing for a picture.
And the Scorpion King.
They went Scorpo King on us, yeah.
I don't know.
That match versus John Cena at WrestleMania was pretty big.
So I have a question.
Colt, you know wrestling's fake, right?
What's that? You know it's not real, right?
Do you want to have this conversation?
I just don't know. You don't know?
I don't know if you know.
It's only my living.
People try to tell me, yeah,
I agree. People try to tell me all the time,
movie trivia isn't real, it's fixed.
And I'm out here day and night
proving them wrong.
I just did it for free.
Mostly day.
You know Arnold Schwarzenegger's
not really the Terminator, right?
That's debatable.
That's not proven.
He was really the governor of California, though.
All right, so Colt
has one point. Chell's in the basement of California, though. All right, so Colt has one point.
Chell's in the basement there with negative one.
But no, I liked his spirit,
the way he jumped in and participated.
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, good for a first-timer.
Now I've got to see your faces this time
to see who buzzes in first,
because this one is kind of weird.
Sometimes it's not all movies.
Sometimes they just throw in other things that a person did.
So tell me who this person
that they're talking about.
The first project.
Kevin Hart, Let Me Explain.
I thought you guys would jump in real fast on that one.
Jacob, Jacob.
Yes?
I'll go with Kevin Hart because you've done this before
with Amy Schumer when I was on the show.
But maybe it was a diversion.
I'm going to go with Kevin Hart.
Yeah, it's Kevin Hart.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I was like, oh, Central Intelligence is out this weekend.
It'll be fun to do The Rock and Kevin Hart.
And then I look up Kevin Hart on IMDb.
His first credit is a comedy special.
But there's three more titles,
so you can get up to four points for this round
if you can name any of them.
Okay, I'm going to go with...
Grudge Match?
No.
Okay.
Get hard?
Yes.
Okay.
One more.
Think like a man.
No.
They went ride-along in the wedding ringer.
Yeah.
But that gives Jacob two points.
He's in the lead.
Nice job.
Nope.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Oh, okay.
You guys were chatting over there.
I thought there was something you could tell the rest of the class.
All right.
This next round starts with a movie called The Hangover.
The second film got a TV show worked in there for this one.
The Office.
The audience knows it.
Chell.
Chell's buzzing in.
Ed Helms is correct.
Thank you.
Good job.
He's also in Central Intelligence, I'm told.
Give us two more Ed Helms projects.
You're out of the hole.
You're up to zero now.
And you could tie it up with Jacob
if you could name two movies that are in his top four.
We could tie it up with Jacob if you could name two movies that are in his top four.
God, it's that...
It's not Sioux Falls.
So far we got The Hangover and The Office.
It's not Susie Falls, is it? So two more.
Fuck, god damn it
That was a good one
Was he in that movie Coon Rapids?
Still a real name
Still a real name of a place
That's your guess, Cedar Rapids?
That's the only one I know
The only one?
He's in a movie?
What movie he's in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all you got?
Fuck, that's all I got.
Okay.
Well, they went with Hangover Part 2 and Hangover Part 3.
Kudos to the audience for not wanting to scream that shit out
or for wanting to
and not doing it.
Yeah, that was a good one.
I'm losing to you.
Oh my God.
Yeah, that's right, you are.
This is awful.
You guys are tied now.
Oh, we are?
Yeah, you two are tied to zero each.
Because Chell got himself up out of that hole.
And now, let's move on to the next round.
The first title is...
Finding Nemo.
The next title showing how one's career
could be as opposite as
humanly possible
because the next film after Finding Nemo
is Taxi Driver driver.
Jacob.
Yeah?
Was John Ratzenberger a taxi driver?
He may have been, but that's not who we're looking for here. I think he was. I think he probably was.
The third movie in this person's top four
is a movie called Drive.
Yep.
This person is in every major motion picture
with the word drive in it from the last half century.
Oh, no, he's not in Drive Angry.
Oh, and I said too much.
Nobody buzzing in?
Chad, can I describe him?
No.
Here's the, I mean, I don't know if you can.
May I?
But it wouldn't work as an answer.
Gotcha. But this fourth title work as an answer. Gotcha.
But this fourth title is going to give it away. Somebody's going to get one point for their troubles.
The fourth movie
in the top four for this
person, Defending Your Life.
Jacob. Who is it? Albert Brooks.
Albert Brooks is right. Yeah.
Jacob gets a point.
Jacob's up to three, just two more,
and he's got this thing.
And I've got a couple of rounds left, I think.
That's who I was going to describe.
Were you going to say just Jewie or something?
I was going to say the guy on Johnny Carson
that did the egg roll thing.
Nope. Okay, great.
I got a couple people right over there that I brought.
That's what we all do it for, is the two people laughter.
You want big laughs, you gotta jump off the stage, dude.
You want big laughs, you gotta jump off the stage, dude.
Yeah, you really gotta fucking risk your own life to get this crowd on your side.
The fact that the only person that hasn't taken a pratfall
is the professional wrestler is insane to me.
He's wearing sandals.
Well, I might as well say it now.
We got here early today and we rehearsed all of that.
Because Douglas Movies is fake.
He was starting it.
Okay, next round starts with a motion picture called Aliens.
Aliens.
Aliens.
Nobody wants to try it.
I like cautious players.
The next film, Avatar.
Jacob.
Who is it?
Sigourney Weaver.
That's correct.
Sigourney Weaver.
Jacob's got four points.
If he could name one of the two remaining
I would do Alien
Sigourney Weaver movies
Alien
And name one more
That wasn't on it?
Huh?
Alien was not on it?
I don't always just choose to tell you whether you're right or wrong
Oh, because that would be for the win
It would be if you were right
So I'm not
Okay, I'm not
I'm not right
Just trying to build up the suspense Ghostbusters It would be if you were right. So I'm not. I'm not right.
Just trying to build up the suspense.
Ghostbusters.
No Ghostbusters.
In your fucking face.
They went with Alien 3 and
this guy is personally hurt
by this
Alien 3 nonsense.
I agree, man.
It's not even a real three.
It's just like alien to the third.
Fuck that.
But the way he said that,
it was almost like his dad left during that movie.
No!
You just said milk, dad!
Told you, Chad.
I told you you'd find a way to get mad at the crowd.
But also in the top four was actually Alien,
so you were correct, and you win.
Nice.
You are the winner.
And I don't know if there's a...
Is DLM Wiki here tonight?
Yep.
Yep.
This dude, you guys, if you go to his Twitter,
there's a link to his Wiki, DLM.
He keeps tons of statistics for what happens on his show.
And so hopefully we'll get some sort of IMDB game tournament going
when he's compiled enough winners.
I know you guys would never do it by yourself,
so how about a round of applause?
Do you keep track of people who have eaten shit on stage, too?
It's a big night for that
here in Minnesota.
Breaking records.
Come down to First Ave tonight where I wrestle this motherfucker.
Opening match.
Oh, you scared me. I thought you were going to punch me in the face.
He turned his shoulders and I was like, here we go,
bitch slap. Right in the mouth.
There are no turnbuckles,
but I'm nervous.
Colt's thing
tonight is sold out.
Oh.
I beg your pardon.
Just want to be clear about that.
But people
could get in if they just show up, right, maybe?
In, like, standby line kind of thing?
I'm sure they could.
Yeah, yeah, let's do it, you guys.
Hey, so what does your script say?
Do you win or lose?
That was the better joke than the one I made.
I feel so attacked.
And I'm not even in my spandex.
That we know of.
Who likes this flavor?
I love it.
Doug's so sick of me talking,
he's throwing donuts at people.
That's amazing.
I gotta do
something to keep busy.
When you're talking.
No, it's delightful. We're gonna play another game.
You wanna play another game?
I'd be happy to.
By my calculations,
we have enough time to play
a new game that's sweeping the nation with a very long title.
It's Ron Bennington's Mojo Rising or the Adjusted Fur Inflation Bureau.
Yeah.
I have written down some people's names.
And they have all made a lot of movies.
And Box Office Mojo lists people's top movies after adjusting for inflation.
And your job, when I tell you the name of an actor, is to...
I don't know what that laugh was for.
I'm looking at everybody.
Chad was rubbing cold.
Chad's rubbing cold.
Oh, there's more of that rubbing going on?
No shame.
Yeah, so you'll get to name what you think will be in the top three.
If you get the one that's in the first position, you get three points,
and second gets two, and third gets one. If yours isn't in the top three, you don't get any points in that particular round.
And we'll start with Jacob, and this is like I'll just directly ask each one of you,
and we'll do the same order each time, but each time we'll start with the guy And this is like, I'll just directly ask each one of you. And we'll do the same order each time.
But each time we'll start with the guy who went second in the previous round.
Huh?
I think that's the best way to do it.
Jacob, you start us off and tell me what you think.
Oh, and also, it's kind of a fun twist in the names of this one.
It's all people from
Minnesota.
Not sure why I did it that way.
I don't know what's special about
Minnesota today.
It's International
Picnic Day, you guys.
Yeah, so we all
blew it.
We all did not celebrate.
Because it's too late now to put together a picnic.
With some donut you picked up off of the ground.
It's a good day to be an ant.
Look, I fell, guys.
I fell earlier.
I'm sure there's a lot of ants here at the women's club tonight.
Aunts. Aunts.
All right.
This is the first one for you.
Hailing from somewhere in Minnesota
is an actress who goes by the name Jessica Biel.
Mrs. JT.
Father, mother.
She's the father and the mother
to those timber lads.
What do you think?
What's in her top three?
Jacob.
We could have Chad talk for a while
if you need time.
Okay.
Well, Jacob, she only has three,
so good luck.
Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to think of the...
I'm thinking the Adam...
I think it's called...
Is it called Chuck and Larry Get Married?
I don't know.
It's fucking up the title of it.
Do you know the title of any of her films?
Well, if I don't know this one,
then I might not.
You could pass, I guess.
Wait.
Is it not Chuck and Larry Get Married?
Is that what it's called?
Chuck and Larry?
I don't recognize that as a title.
Can I just do Jennifer Beals instead?
Alright, you're out.
Colt, top three, Jessica Beal.
You can do it.
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry? That's correct.
Oh.
How did I think of that?
It's the correct title. I'm not going to tell you where it ranked.
Chad, you can pick any movie but that one.
Seventh Heaven the movie Okay
Chill
Hangover 2 and 3
Oh my god
Fucking clap
That's the line of the show
That is the line of the show.
That is the line of the show, you stingy assholes.
God knows.
Number three on Jessica Biel's list was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 2003.
Number two, Valentine's Day.
Yeah, that one's got a lot of people in it.
And number one was,
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.
So that gives Colt three points.
And we'll play until we don't have any more options, categories,
answers.
Cole goes first this time, then you, Chad,
so be ready. Thank you.
Films of the
Coen Brothers
from Minnesota. Yes.
What do you think their top three?
I don't want to fuck this up.
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
What?
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
Okay, that is one of their titles.
Chad?
No Country for Old Men.
Got an official judge in the audience.
Somebody was just like, he has seen a movie.
Jesus Christ, this is amazing.
Chell, what do you got?
Big Lebowski.
Okay. And Jacob?
I think Fargo made the most money.
Fargo?
Yeah, because of the Oscar stuff.
It had a big extended run.
Alright, so coming in at number three,
a movie nobody said called Burn After Reading.
That sounds like someone who got burned while sitting there.
That guy was feeling the burn after reading.
Number two, who said No Country for Old Men?
Chad. It was me for old men? Chad.
It was me.
Good job, Chad.
Amanda, we're doing it.
And coming in at number one, nobody said it.
True Grit.
True Grit.
Yeah, that was an exciting one.
So now Colt is in the lead with three.
Chad's got two.
Chell and Jacob, it's never too late.
Henry Fonda, I'm kidding.
But he was born in Minnesota.
Judy Garland, I'm kidding again.
Also from Minnesota.
Harmar Superstars from here.
Jessica Lange.
Her top four are all American horror story shows.
So that's no good for us.
But here's a real movie star from here.
But here's a real movie star from here.
And we'll start with... Chad gets to go first this time.
Chris Pratt.
Well, I guess I have to go Jurassic World.
You don't have to do anything.
No, no, no.
No, I do, under contract
I'm being paid
Okay, Chell?
It's the Guardians of the Galaxy
Okay
That's a good one
Jacob and I both love that movie
So he's probably a little sad right now
Yeah, and those are the two money makers
So I'm going to go with Her.
Her? Yeah, he was in the movie Her. Yeah, he was in Her.
She hasn't been in a lot of blockbusters. Come on, come on, it's for the women.
It's a movie about a woman
that a man
meets in his mind.
I saw a video of Batista
teaching him how to powerbomb Anna Faris.
What's powerbomb?
It had a lot of views.
Probably made a lot of YouTube money.
That's your guess?
Yes.
Okay.
Number three was
The Lego Movie.
Yes.
Everything is awesome.
And number two,
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Yeah.
So that gives Chell two points.
And then number one,
Jurassic World.
Yep.
No one is happy for you, Chad.
That's okay. You know what?
I alienated them earlier,
and now it's me against them, and I don't fucking care.
I'm about to win this thing.
You just sit there and let me do the work.
That's fine.
All right, you got five points.
Colt has three, Chell has two...
and Jacob.
I got three donuts, though. I'm gonna throw at somebody.
Here, throw these. They're not as messy as those.
Those chocolate ones scare me, because I don't want somebody
sitting there in white to suddenly just get,
Hey, watch your step, hit by a chocolate.
Oh, my God.
That was interesting.
That broke up into 15 different pieces.
You'd be great at feeding geese.
Lime.
That was it? I thought somebody else was going to throw one.
Okay.
This is a final round. We'll do one more round
if anybody's tied up after this round.
And this one
is also
from here. Sean William Scott,
Rich Sommer,
Prince, of course.
But let's do... Steve Zahn is of course. But let's do...
Steve Zahn is from here. But let's do...
What?
Steve Zahn? What?
Let's do Winona Ryder.
Winona Ryder.
And we start with
Jell.
Any Winona Ryder movie,
especially if you think it might be one of her
top three.
Girl Interrupted. Girl Interrupted.
Girl Interrupted, okay.
She could have any role in it.
Jacob, what?
She could have any role in it.
She doesn't have to be Billed in the movie or anything.
She just has to be in it.
Yeah, she just has to be in it.
I don't know how strict box office mojo is about that.
Then I would guess Star Trek, the J.J. Abrams Star Trek.
Star Trek.
Colt?
Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice.
That was a victorious,
fast underhand.
That was like woman softball. There was a huge laugh because Colt just threw a victorious, fast underhand. That was like woman's softball.
There was a huge laugh because Colt just threw a donut,
but the best was him trying to get the box open
three times before he actually did it.
It was awesome.
And I'm not making fun of you because you're bigger than me,
but I was just saying, like, it was.
Oh, my god.
He was just flexing his tits.
He was making his tits dance.
Oh, that's pretty sweet.
I could actually do that with my balls.
I'm just looking around like it just looks like four guys just sitting there.
The crowd's going crazy for Colt's tits.
Because he's flexing his tits.
To get my tits to shake like that,
I have to jump up and down.
It's ridiculous.
That wouldn't be a bad situation
to be in the middle of, actually,
if you know what I mean.
Nobody knows what you mean.
Shut up.
Colt could simulate the use of a trampoline
without moving.
Just stand there with his boobs flapping around.
All right.
Where are we at?
What'd you say?
He said Beetlejuice.
And Chad says...
I don't...
What do we have so far?
We got Girl Interrupted.
We got Beetlejuice.
We got Star Trek.
I'm going to go with the security video of her stealing all that shit.
Ah, okay.
Very smart.
Very good use of your turn.
Thank you so much.
He's winning also. He just burned his turn and he's actually in the lead.
He's winning, yeah. We'll see.
It's all going to shake out right now, maybe.
Because movie number three,
Bram Stoker's Dracula.
That's a good one.
Yep.
Ooh.
Ooh.
There's a moose out there.
Movie number two.
No one got this one,
and it's kind of a surprise
squeaked in there somehow.
Mr. Deeds.
Yeah.
And according to IMDB,
I mean, Box Office Mojo,
the highest grossing
after Adjusting for Inflation
movie that has Winona Ryder in it,
is called Star Trek.
And Jacob got three points on the board,
but that's not enough to catch up to Chad's five points,
so Chad is our winner today.
So what's the name of the person you were playing for? Amanda?
Kung Fu Amanda, come get all your prizes. Kung Fu Amanda!
Yeah!
Hang on, I gotta post this. Hashtag hashtag grr mondays
hashtag grr mondays
I mean it's like outtakes from Ted 2
that they stuck into a doll
alright there you are
I love how you brought somebody to help you carry all your shit
that's amazing
very smart
I'm not gonna fall
For this again
There's all your stuff
And do you want your name tag back too?
Nope
It's yours to keep Chad, congratulations
Thank you
Thank you What do you got to plug, Chad?
What's coming up for you?
I'm off for a month
I'm going to hang out with the kiddos
Alright, so check them out there, everybody
And then I have
Please don't
And then I go to St. Louis in the middle of July
And then San Francisco after that
So two July gigs St. Louis in the middle of July and then San Francisco after that.
So two July gigs, St. Louis, Funny Bone at Westport,
and San Francisco Punchline.
And your Twitter's straight up your name?
It's ChadDaniels34.
Oh, okay.
Big time. Do you have to change it when you turn 35?
Or have you been 34 since Twitter started?
Or have you been 34 since Twitter started?
Okay, don't answer that.
Colt?
No, I'm just going to sit here.
Just let it lie there.
Colt, what's up?
You got your show tonight, and then I hear you're hitting a bunch of places.
Yeah, I'm totally always traveling.
My podcast is The Art of Wrestling.
Always talking to different wrestlers in different locker rooms. I also have that podcast called Pro Wrestling Fringe.
Storytelling podcast on Howl.
I have my movies, The Wrestling Road Diaries 1 and 2.
The Wrestling Road Diaries 3,
Funny Equals Money, is coming out September 1st.
Thank you.
We dissect comedy in wrestling.
Thanks for the laugh.
Also,
I'm always touring. I'm going to be in Dublin, Belfast, and L, uh... Also, I'm always touring,
and I'm gonna be in Dublin, Belfast,
and Limerick next week.
I'm also gonna be at the Gathering of the Juggalos
wrestling in July.
And, um,
my tour schedule's on colcomander.com,
and also all of August I will be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
doing a comedy show with my friend Brendan Burns
where we watch bad wrestling and make fun of it.
Please come if you're in Europe
and support the Fringe and myself.
Thank you.
And Twitter at Cole Cabana,
Instagram at Cole Cabana.
Nice job.
Jacob,
what's coming up for you?
I'm also going to the Gathering of the Juggalos,
but just to laugh at people.
I'm not actually going to take part in anything there.
I gotta just hang out in the parking lot
and laugh at everybody.
But, um...
I'm also... Not you.
I mean, you're getting paid, I understand.
I would go for money.
But, um...
But I'm also gonna be at the Madhouse Comedy Club
in San Diego this Wednesday, June 22nd,
which happens to be my birthday.
So come out and, like, give me a blowjob or something.
That's the rules.
Birthdays.
Right?
I think.
I haven't been married for a while.
I forget the rules.
How do you get blowjobs with those Harry Potter socks?
What are you talking about?
Chad, are you doubting my blowjob getting abilities right now?
Not at all.
I've heard the stories, but I'm wondering how with the socks.
I think I actually would put forth that girls like interesting socks. It's actually attractive when you wear interesting socks.
Alright, yeah, there's three
of them. Yeah, it's three or four.
Well, how many of them are you gonna
fuck tonight, Chad?
Zero, but maybe Nick, his fucking
stomach hurts because you fell on it.
Or just bounce your tits a lot.
Yeah.
I can't believe
tits get more love than socks
from the ladies.
I feel like I'm being
sock shamed right now.
Thanks, Jacob.
Chell, Björgen,
you got a Twitter, right?
Yeah.
How's that spelled?
It doesn't matter. Chell, Björgen, you got a Twitter, right? Yeah. How's that spelled? It's...
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
It's K-J-E-L-L.
B as in boy, J-O-R-G-E-N.
Björgen.
Yeah.
So look him up, you guys.
Very funny.
I'm going to Redbox tomorrow.
Meet him at the Redbox.
Shame all of his choices.
What do you got coming up?
Going to Redbox.
Going to check out Star Wars
just to piss Jacob off.
And yeah, just got some...
I got a new comedy compact disc coming out
through Stand Up Records
called Lots of Traits, it should be coming out
in the next couple months
alright, cool
first time guest, Joe Bjorgen everybody
I'm it says here I'm doing stand-up at the Tampa Improv
on July 2nd.
Bring your name tags, though,
even though it's a stand-up show.
What's a good hashtag for this episode today?
Were there any catchphrases or anything?
Something about falling.
Falling down?
Falling down.
Hangover 2 and 3? Just going to put that right in the show description. Were there any catchphrases or anything? Something about falling. Falling down? Falling down. Falling.
Hangover two and three.
Just going to put that right in the show description so people can really enjoy that juicy moment.
I even said hangover one again to try to help.
It's my first time, Doug.
I know, I know.
It's a lot of pressure up here, right?
The lights are bright.
Stage is steep.
People are getting hurt left and right.
It's the most dangerous show I've ever been on in my career.
Yeah, I feel good, though.
I don't feel injured.
Do you feel injured?
I actually feel good.
Sometimes I fall like that the next day.
You'll be like, oh, shit, where's my arm?
I feel good.
But I went, I mean...
It was amazing.
We were in the commercial break, so the listeners don't get
to enjoy it. Not that there was anything to hear.
You didn't even have a microphone. It wasn't like you're like,
hey, give me that. Give me that.
You had the mic in your hand? I had the mic in my hand.
Did you drop it? No. Come on, I'm a professional.
I kept the mic.
Real professional.
There's a... But what people can't see is there's a 20-foot
gaping hole that I could have
fallen into, or that you could have also.
Hold on, I already described it as a three-foot.
I fell on a stage that's part of the stage,
at least.
You went into the audience.
But between the stage and the audience, there's like this hole
that goes to the basement.
That's the dangerous part, yeah, that I
wouldn't even walk out over there.
Jacob is so skinny, Nick had 45 seconds to prepare for him to hit him.
He just floated down like a fucking leaf.
And he was like, I gotcha, hold on, I gotcha, wait for it.
Wow, yeah, Doug really does love movies.
Here's the feather from the beginning of Forrest Gump.
Well, thanks again to everyone for being here,
to all of my guests,
Chad Daniels, Colt Cabana,
Jacob Searoff, and Kjell Brogan. And as always, Shia LaBeouf is a shithead.
Trying to cut pizza without a pizza cutter is a shithead.
And no liquor sales on Sundays, is it, shithead?
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.