Doug Loves Movies - Chad Daniels, Kevin Kraft and Bri Pruett guest
Episode Date: February 7, 2022Live from the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Chad Daniels, Kevin Kraft and Bri Pruett to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitc...her Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
Hey, this is Doug Loves Movies.
I like the one guy.
Hey, Doug, how's it going?
What are you up to?
It's nice to see you.
Welcome, everybody.
So exciting that this is actually happening.
Yes.
We're coming to you finally
after a postponement
from December 26th
of last year
from the American
Comedy Company in San
Diego, California!
Yeah!
Isn't that funny that I still have my lighter in my hand?
Gee, what was he doing in the green room?
It's Saturday, February 5th, 2022,
and I brought a bag full of stuff.
Yeah, there it is.
I'm going to throw it right there on the floor
and never mention it again
until I give it to somebody.
If you are interested in what's in the bag,
go ahead and look at the video I made about it
on my Instagram.
At you don't know Doug
is where you can look at that.
Shout out to David Sanborn here in the audience.
Where you at, David?
Wow, several people all responded.
But thanks for being here.
It's very exciting that you're here
because one of the guests today, as I predicted,
is in fact maybe not going gonna get here in time.
Yeah, so suspenseful.
But in traffic, not, you know, didn't get sick or anything.
And yeah, so we're obviously still doing a show.
And if that guest isn't here when we get
to the games portion, then the great David Sanborn is
standing by and are you willing to fill in David and then leave as soon as the
guest shows up I know it feels like a humiliating thing to do to a person but
basically you're pinch-hitting until until she gets here if like I said if we
get to the to that part of the
show. The slower I talk right now
the less likely
that will be to happen.
But thanks for being here
David Sanborn and
yeah, we'll
regardless of what happens today
we'll have you back on the show
sometime soon. Because as you
may remember, some of you are probably here,
he rose up like a phoenix out of the audience one time
and was our third guest on the show
and then beat the other guest's asses.
Yeah, that's how it's done.
Almost every time I have an audience member come up and play,
it's not good for my guests.
Because people who listen to the show know what's going on a lot better than my guests on this show,
who are often surprised and perplexed, but also hopefully delighted. Are you ready for me to bring them out here? All right, let's do it.
Let's give a warm, sweet home San Diego welcome
to Chad Daniels, Kevin Kraft, and Brie Pruitt!
There's one.
Thank you, Doug. Thank you.
There's two.
No Brie. Br you. There's two. No Bree.
Bree can have the middle.
Yeah, she's going to take the middle spot when she arrives.
And we will, like I said, we're going to proceed, you know, as if she's here.
That sounds good, Doug.
Hey, Eddie. All right. So let's meet the two guests that are here. Let's meet them individually and alphabetically, starting with headlining all
weekend here at ACC. That's what we call it. It's Chad Daniels.
Hi, everybody. I'm over here.
Hello.
How have you been enjoying my sweet home San Diego?
I love it quite a bit. I live
in northern Minnesota, where it has been
42 days in a row below freezing.
And this
is, well, guess what? I also pay
$1,400 for my mortgage to suck it.
Don't turn on him this early, Chad.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Just kidding.
I love you guys.
You have a grunderful city.
Did you guys make the sunshine?
I bet so.
That might be a record for you.
I think you tell the audience to suck it at some point every time you're on the show.
But you really got there fast today.
My apologies.
I'm going to make a Chad Daniels Award for the guest that's mean to the audience the quickest.
I already have the Pete Holmes Award, and that goes to the guest who speaks out of turn first.
But that, of course, nobody won that award today because you guys are great.
Chad?
Yeah.
I forgot to tell Chad that, like, the prize bag these days is I just bring a bunch of cool stuff,
and I don't have my guests bring stuff because the listeners don't need to hear about all the different candy bars that somebody brought or what have you.
But Chad walks in today and goes, hey, you still doing the prize bag thing?
And when he told me what he brought, I was like, yeah, I'm still doing the prize bag thing.
So in addition to what I brought, tell everybody, Chad, what you're about to give away today.
Absolutely.
In this bag, there's pliers.
Tighten some things up or make him confess that he did it.
Got some duct tape.
Got some zip ties.
This crowd is way too excited about these items.
Got some gloves to cover your fingerprints.
I've got a shower curtain liner.
And I have some Clorox bleach cleaner.
And I'm so glad you let me give this away because I did not want to bring this shit back to CVS.
Oh, I thought you were going to say
I didn't want to try to bring this shit,
the plane back home.
Yeah, no kidding. I'll just bring it back and the guy would be like, oh thought you were going to say I didn't want to try to bring this shit on the plane back home. Yeah, no kidding.
I'll just bring it back and the guy would be like,
oh, you guys made up, huh?
And so what did you call that?
I called that the Dexter Starter Kit.
There you go.
That's a TV show, but I'll allow it.
I don't know if there's a good
Is there a good movie serial killer
That we could have said instead of Dexter
Oh I don't know
Maybe a Buffalo Bill
Buffalo Bill didn't really have
Like he didn't use all that stuff
He just had a home with a cool well in it
He had a recliner and a broken arm
I really just said that
That he had a cool well.
Hey, since you're down there in my cool well,
could you put some lotion in the basket?
All right.
Also joining us today, it's our friend Kevin Kraft.
Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you for having me, Doug.
The only,
sorry to interrupt you,
but the only person to ever fill in
as host
on Doug Loves Movies
in 15 years
is Kevin Kraft.
First person I'll call
if I get another kidney stone.
I'll just be like,
dude, you're on call.
It could happen or not happen. But how was your drive down today? You made it here on time. Yeah, that doesn't mean it didn't
suck. Right. It was pretty bad. Yeah, it can be a long one. L.A. to San Diego on a Saturday,
I guess, is not always the best idea, but that's all right.
We're here.
I think so.
I think there might be some audience members that did the same thing.
Are there any LA audience members?
There you go.
Oh, yeah.
I was stuck next to traffic in him with next to that guy.
Yeah.
You were?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
I know that face.
Wow.
You have a mind for faces in traffic.
What a useless skill.
Well, thanks for everybody that made the drive. I faces in traffic. What a useless skill. Thanks for everybody that made the drive.
I live in Minnesota.
Yeah, you're lucky that you got to come here.
Yeah, that's right.
Even the flight here was warmer than where you live.
So, yeah, so it's been a real win for you.
Chad, where do you have to... You just go home tomorrow?
I'm going to go home on Monday.
I'm going to stay an extra day in your lovely city
because I love the city and the people, clearly.
So I'm staying an extra day.
I was like, when I first texted him about doing this,
because he's headlining two shows tonight
and has been a frequent Douglas Movies guest,
so I figured it was a pretty easy yes for him to appear on the show but I did ask
you in the text could you do Douglas movies are you gonna bring your goddamn
kids and go to the zoo while you're here yeah he did bully me so I cancelled two
plane tickets and here we are doing Douglas. Yay! I did it.
That's awesome.
All right.
So like I said earlier, if we get to the games part and Bree isn't here, then we'll deal with that with Mr. Sanborn filling in for her.
But since we do something before the games in every show lately,
might as well do that now
and see if that's going to stall enough for her to arrive.
But don't call it stalling.
It's what we would have done anyway,
but with her sitting here.
Which gentleman, Chad or Kevin,
which one of you would like to go first?
Oh, I also didn't really talk up that, of course, you have your own podcast, Kevin Craft.
I do, yeah.
And it's on Patreon.
So I'm a co-host of The Jason Ellis Show, which is now a podcast.
And that's available where?
Anywhere you get podcasts.
Oh, okay, cool.
iTunes, Spotify, YouTube.
We do four hours a week on Patreon as well.
And then I have my own podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour,
which you've been on, Doug.
I was?
You were on episode 420.
Oh, perfect.
Yeah.
I never remember anything I do on that day.
We smoked a lot of weed that day.
That day is just wiped clean for me every year.
I spent a lot of 420s in San Diego, of course, because I grew up here.
But none of them, I didn't get high on any of them.
I really should spend a 420 in San Diego since I've become a comedian.
I hear it's lovely.
Pothead.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I'm. Yeah, no, I mean
I'm telling you, April's tricky now
because a lot of states
a lot of places in this country, except for like
California and Florida, can be downright
snowy and chilly
on 420, which doesn't seem
right. It's only 10 days
from May or whatever
and spring and summer
but yeah, so that's another thing I have 10 days from May or whatever and spring and summer.
But yeah, so that's another
thing I have to look out for on my 420
choices.
I don't want to be somewhere that's fucking cold.
Nothing sobers you up
quicker than cold weather.
You're kidding.
Yeah, you get high inside where it's nice and warm
and you go outside and that cold hits you
and you're just like, okay, not high anymore.
Sucks, man.
I mean, I'm still
going to get high there.
I'm not going to not get high
because it doesn't work as good.
I'm still going to give it some effort.
Okay, so anyway, I'm glad we mentioned all your stuff.
Who would like to go first in recommending a motion picture?
It can be any movie.
Just got to pick one.
Kevin?
Okay, sure.
I'll go.
I heard you just saw Moonfall.
You're not going to recommend that, right?
Nope.
No, no, no, no. Fucking Moonfall. Has anybody not going to recommend that, right? Nope. No, no, no.
Has anybody else seen Moonfall?
How'd that work out for you?
It was pretty stupid, right?
It's a popcorn movie. I stuck my head in the
popcorn bucket and fucking
walked out.
No, but I'm sure
some people probably think it's fun.
It was worth the price of admission.
His movies were silly disaster movies.
So if you want a silly disaster movie.
This was the silliest.
Right, because it's about how the moon falls.
Yeah.
There's a whole bunch of other stuff in there too.
It gets sillier as it goes
and you go into the theater
knowing that this is a movie
about the moon falling to earth.
And then by the time it ends, you're like, that was stupider than I thought it was going to be.
How did they reach this level of stupid?
But they got there.
And it's one of those things you kind of have to see to believe.
Hey, buddy, it could happen.
You understand me?
The moon could fall down from the stars onto planet earth.
You feel me, brother?
I don't even know how it stays up there.
How is it not falling down?
It's on strings.
How do you not know that?
It's the good Lord's marionette.
Everybody knows that.
Sits up there
and doesn't do nothing
until it falls to planet Earth
when the good Lord says so.
Just like when
the White House went down.
He made that movie too,
White House Down.
It's true.
But as far as movies
that I could recommend,
I've been watching...
Yes, please recommend
one movie.
I've been watching
a lot of samurai movies
lately.
Okay.
Do you have one
that was like,
holy shit,
when I tell people
to watch this,
every single person is gonna be like, fuck yeah.
Thank you, Kevin.
I think I got one.
I think I got one.
Okay, which one is it?
There's this one that I think is on Hulu right now called 13 Assassins.
And if you like...
We got a fuck yeah from the crowd.
Oh, my God.
That was fantastic.
It's pretty cool, man.
It's like there's this, you know, samurai lord
who's very King Joffrey-esque.
He's very fucked up, and he does very mean,
disrespectful things to people,
and these group of people are like,
you know what?
Enough of this.
We're supposed to swear blind loyalty,
but we're taking this guy out, and they get this group of people are like, you know what? Enough of this. We're supposed to swear blind loyalty, but we're taking this guy out.
And they get this group of samurai together
for like a suicide mission
to take this guy on in his army.
And it's,
if you like samurai and swords and stuff,
it's pretty cool.
Most people have Hulu.
You can just watch it.
You don't have to pay extra.
I'm going to just watch it, I think.
I'm excited about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's nice to have,
you know, because there's so much of that kind. Yeah, it's nice to have, you know,
because there's so much of that kind of stuff
that it's nice to have one specific one,
you know, to go watch.
I don't have to see 1 through 12 assassins?
No, no, no.
To be up to speed?
They're actually not canon once the 13th one hits.
Oh, okay.
They just retroactively wipe all those out.
That makes sense.
That's the perfect number to just cut bait and run.
Give up.
You know how I remember
how to spell assassins?
Because it's got twice the ass.
A lot of ass on assassins.
Assassins got cake.
I used to like to say that Antonio
Bandera ass is an ass
assin.
Three asses in very few
words. Alright, Chad
Daniels, you're up
next. What movie would you like
to recommend? Well, I'm going to recommend a movie
that real movie fans
aren't going to appreciate, but I'd like to tell you why I'm
recommending it. Okay. I'm going to recommend
The Last Duel. Oh!
I'm going to recommend it because everyone thinks
2022 is the worst year ever, but if you
watch that movie, you realize the richest person
on planet Earth had to light candles
to see at night, so it's not so fucking bad.
That's why I'm recommending it.
It really gives you a look into how great
2022 actually is
it looks like Game of Thrones
without dragons
it's
it's Ben Affleck
doing a great Jeremy Irons
he's got blonde hair and the mole
perfectly on his face
and he does an accent?
oh of course he does.
Holy shit.
It's a Boston accent, but...
Hey, kid, you fucking wicked small.
You gonna fucking stick it with a knife or no?
That's my...
Are there ever any apples in the movie?
Because that's a great opportunity for a line.
I haven't seen it yet.
Do they explain why Ben Affleck
has frosted tips
in the Middle Ages?
He's a bit of a poonhound.
So I think that would explain it.
So he's a metrosexual
way before his time?
He just walks into rooms
and go,
take your pants off.
And then everyone
takes their pants off,
men and women.
And then he's like,
twists his little tips.
Then he gets right in there.
I'm gonna watch that movie eventually,
but it's like, people either think it's a masterpiece or it's
awful. Like, it's so
polarizing. Oh, I'd
watch it while walking on a treadmill. I could give a shit, but
the
idea
that you had to go hunt for your food and people are like, 2022 while walking on a treadmill, I could give a shit, but... The idea...
that you had to go hunt for your food and people are like,
2022 sucks!
It's like, oh, I just ordered food on my phone.
It's pretty fucking great.
All right. Yeah.
I always kill on this show, so this feels normal to me.
Yeah, this is going exactly how it's supposed to go.
But I'm excited about The Last Duel as a recommendation
because I haven't seen it myself,
and that will help propel me to possibly actually check it out.
Sure.
We'll see. We'll see.
There's a movie that somebody recommended very wholeheartedly.
I've probably been six or seven years ago now.
And I said I would see it.
And people keep asking me if I've seen it.
Oh, my God.
Is that that predestination?
It's predestination.
I have still fucking, I have not seen fucking pre-fucking-death fucking-tination.
And I kind of want to.
Right?
I kind of want to watch it,
but that never gets me there.
I watched it.
There's always so much good shit to watch
that I have a stronger feeling about that I'll love it.
I feel like I'll like it at best.
I'll say this.
It's not the world's greatest movie, but I've never seen a movie like it. Okay. I'll say this. It's not the world's greatest movie,
but I've never seen a movie like it.
Okay.
It's really weird.
Okay.
See, that's not selling me on it.
Sure.
But it's time travel though, right?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I gotta see this movie.
I tell you what,
I'm gonna see this movie
in the next five to seven years.
That is my pledge
to everyone here today
that I will fucking get it together.
I should write down predestination
as Brie Pruitt's pick.
And then,
because then I put all the movies,
I put the three recommendations,
I put them together
on the Doug Loves Movies account
on Twitter
and let people vote on which
one they prefer. But I leave a
four slot saying, I haven't seen these movies.
Everybody always wins.
Tends to win because
people recommend obscure stuff
sometimes. Are you going to have enough characters on
Twitter to explain why I recommended
Last Duel?
No, there's no explanation. There's just Chad
thinks Last Duel? No, there's no explanation. You're just going to put it out there? Chad thinks Last Duel is good.
I don't bring up your treadmill.
I don't.
There's nothing else comes up.
You're just stuck with that label.
Okay.
Yeah.
But people understand.
The people, they listen to the show
and they know.
Makes sense.
They know that I just force people
to name a movie.
And under duress.
And that when asked the same question of me, I can never.
I can't think of.
Well, I just thought of one.
If you haven't seen it, it's on Netflix.
So if you have Netflix, it feels like it's free.
I really like Tick, Tick, Boom.
Yeah. That's about the rent
yeah Jonathan Larson
yeah sure
that Andrew Garfield just nails it
and even if you don't like musicals
I think you could tolerate it
sure
because it's really enjoyable
you know if you're into the
you know the creative spirit
and the drive to achieve something.
And he died young, so it's tragic.
And it's got everything.
And I liked it a lot better than In the Heights, strangely enough.
And Lin-Manuel Miranda directed Tick, Tick, Boom, but didn't write it.
And he wrote In the Heights and somebody else directed it.
So I just think he should keep directing other people's material.
Sure.
And that other guy shouldn't direct anything written by him.
I want to get him on this show.
So all of that was probably a terrible thing to say.
Because one time I asked him on Twitter,
I'll openly ask famous people sometimes on Twitter
because you never know when they might respond
just because it's out in the open.
And I asked him to do
Douglas movies in New York.
And I asked him on a specific date.
He said, I can't do that, but keep asking.
And I kept asking
to no response.
It went from keep asking to
I'm not even going to
respond at all.
So of course I'm not going to keep asking.
Like that, I feel like a psychopath.
Well, you said keep asking.
Yep.
You've asked me a million times, dude.
You said it.
I spread it.
All right.
She's not here.
There's only, we've squeezed as much blood out of this stone as we possibly can. We've got games to play.
But we also have a commercial break that I can throw in right now.
So let's go to a commercial, and we'll be right back.
We're back, and guess who just arrived?
It's Brie Pruitt, everybody!
I made it.
Thanks for having me, Doug.
Thanks for your patience, you good San Diegans.
This worked out perfectly for everybody
except for David Sanborn.
Who was taking the stage when Brie walked in.
It could not have been better slash worse timing.
Neil Armstrong had more steps on the moon
that fell
than David had on this stage.
The moon
that fell. You had to add that detail.
Well, he's the one that went to moonfall.
He went, yay! And then, how'd you like it?
And then they all both did this with their hand.
A come see, come saw.
Yeah. That's what that means.
It's French.
All right.
So during the break, when Bree arrived,
we had everybody select who they are going to play
on behalf of in the games today.
So Chad is going to be playing for Kelsey Potter.
Boom.
And Kevin is playing for Nat at the museum.
And Bree is playing for Nicole.
M. Night Shyamalan's old with Nick, N-I-C-C, in front of it.
Nicole.
Great job, everybody.
Thanks for still bringing name tags.
They're getting smaller and smaller.
And Chelsea tried to bribe my panel with what looked like a gram of weed.
And no name tag whatsoever, just the weed.
And that'll work someday, I'm sure.
But it didn't work on this group.
Also speaks to the
increasing availability
of weed everywhere.
So I don't really need
to get it.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
From the show.
That is true.
But I appreciate it.
Free weed is still free weed.
Truly.
None of that fucking tax money.
Yeah, I could probably
find that much weed
in my car right now.
So I'm all set.
You just got to be willing to really work for it.
Yeah.
I might have that much in my belly button right now.
Yeah.
That does happen too.
You roll over your stomach, you know.
It just happens.
Nature's rolling, Trey.
Before we play our first game today,
let's catch up with Bree in terms of Chad and Kevin both recommended a movie.
Have you seen a movie lately or is there a classic that you would like to recommend?
I just watched Eyes of Tammy Faye, the new one.
Oh, yeah.
And that was a lot of fun.
Yeah.
It's cute.
I mean, it's always fun to see a modern actor doing an impression of someone like 20 years ago.
And they do pretty good, those kids.
Yeah.
Well, Jessica Chastain, the whole time I was like, oh, this is if Tammy Faye were prettier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's she so upset about?
She's great.
She gets the face and the mannerisms and stuff, but she's just a, you know, they can't hide
that she's just a prettier woman to begin with yeah i'm telling you uh yeah it's kind of wild that they're like they might give
an oscar out for like makeup to make a attractive movie star look a little less so and she i heard
that she put on her own like they the makeup artists, they put on the prosthetics
to change the shape of her face,
but that she did her own makeup.
And I assume it's to like feel Tammy Faye's,
like, you know, going through that process
because she did wear a lot of makeup.
And yeah, it's a pretty interesting movie.
I think she nails it much better than,
I didn't believe Nicole Kidman as Lucy for a second.
Like, the whole time she's like,
that's Nicole Kidman.
Right.
What the fuck are you trying to pull?
Like the movie's trying to gaslight people.
No, that's Lucy, man.
She's back from the grave and did this movie
and she's amazing.
All right, what was that movie you recommended? The Eyes of Tammy Faye and she's amazing. All right. What was that movie
you recommended?
The Eyes of Tammy Faye.
That's right.
The makeup Oscar.
The whole deal.
That is fantastic.
Eyes of Tammy Faye.
Yeah, I already know
how the theme song goes.
Our first game today is a new game, and I'm very excited to play it.
It's called, these initials may sound familiar, it's called FMK.
Right?
What does that stand for?
Fuck.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Yes.
We're going to play fuck, marry, kill, but with, Kill. Yes. We're going to play Fuck, Marry, Kill, but with movie titles.
Yes.
Oh.
I went on Twitter and did some Twitter polls where I just threw out a movie title and said,
you want to fuck it, you want to marry it, or do you want to kill it?
And then I wrote down the percentages of the answers. Much like, you know, Family Feud.
And
each one of you
will get a chance to go first
in this game, but we're going to start
alphabetically, so
Chad Daniels is up first.
Oh, God.
This first time. Ready?
Yeah.
So I'm going to tell you a movie,
and then you get a pick between fuck, marry, or kill.
Sure.
And then Bree's going to get a pick,
and Kevin's going to get a pick.
You sure about that?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Because you each get one,
and then I'll tell you what your scores are.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
And I got three rounds,
and each one of you will get a chance
to go first
to keep it fair.
I'm very excited, Doug.
It's a weird concept.
Like, as I was doing it,
I was like,
does this make any sense?
Like, but also,
that's what's amazing
about a poll
is people will just answer it.
You know what I mean?
It's like,
are you an asshole,
yes or no?
People will check probably no,
but they still will answer it.
They still try to defend themselves.
So it is interesting how people just pick an answer
at such an abstract concept.
So Chad Daniels, the motion picture is
Quentin Tarantino's
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
What do you think got the
highest percentage of
votes to fuck it, to marry
it, or kill it?
A lot of good looking folks.
I'm gonna go fuck.
Okay, so this game's working out pretty good.
It's pretty entertaining so far.
Bree, between Mary and Kill, what would you take?
A lot of people really are attached to Tarantino and their favorite stars.
I say Mary.
Okay.
I think you made the right choice.
I love your reasoning.
And what is that leaves Kill for Kevin?
Yeah, I will come in third place by default.
You think?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, you may be surprised to know that Kill got 32% of the vote.
Yeah.
I don't know why people want to kill it.
Yeah. I don't want to kill that.
Oh, but hang on. Marriott
got 33% of the vote.
Wait, hold on. Hold on.
35%
want to fuck it.
Oh.
Make it 36.
No.
I mean, what does that
what is even happening
it's a very sexy movie
isn't it weird how it just broke down like that
it's very bloody murdery
like just really like I wish our
country could come together like this
into three different groups instead of two.
Oh, we're gonna.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
All right, so 35 for Chad,
and then Brie gets the, what did I say it was?
33, and Kevin is 32.
Tight race.
Next movie.
Brie gets to go first.
Oh, what's going on here?
Pulp Fiction.
Fuck it, marry it, or kill it.
I'm going to keep with Mary
for the aforementioned reasons.
People really like that movie. They like the aforementioned reasons. People really like that movie.
They like the poster.
They want to identify by that movie.
They want to take that movie's last name.
You sound like me defending the last duel.
I like that fucking movie.
I like the name Chad Fiction.
It's got a ring to it.
Sounds like you don't exist. All right. It's got a ring to it. Sounds like you don't exist.
All right.
It's fucked up, man.
Okay, so Bree went with Mary.
So what do you think, Kevin?
Do they want to fuck it or do they want to kill it?
Doug?
Yeah?
I will fuck that movie.
Okay.
In how many notes?
Fair enough.
Fair enough. Fair enough.
What's the run time again?
It's going to be a long, long session.
It's going to be a long fuck.
Or you'll get to fuck it many times.
I don't know how it works.
I don't know how someone fucks a movie.
I know how. I've known some actors who have fuckeds a movie. I know how,
I've known some actors who have fucked up a movie,
but that's a different,
that's a different thing.
Okay, so that leaves Kill for... Yeah, I was gonna go with Kill anyways.
A lot of murder, some accidental murder.
You like Kill anyway?
Sure.
Okay.
Well, Chad, the bad news is
Kill did come in third place.
With 33%.
No, this one shakes out a little differently.
God damn it.
17%.
That's okay.
Wow.
Want to kill Pulp Fiction.
So seems like it's a little bit more beloved, perhaps,
than the one special time in Hollywood.
28% want to marry it, Brie.
Yeah.
Okay.
Those people seem nice.
I want to marry that movie with a lot of racist talk
and a lot of F-bombs.
I'm in love.
55% want a fuck pulp picture.
Yeah!
Woo-hoo!
Three cheers for fuck! It seems very fuckablep Fiction. Yeah! Woo-hoo! Three cheers for fuck!
It does seem,
it seems very fuckable, that movie.
I mean, did you see that gimp?
Oh, man.
That scene alone is very,
very exciting.
But for me,
not in a sexual way.
In an escape room way.
Pulp Fiction, the original escape room.
Okay.
Who gets to go
first this next time?
It's down to Kevin. I think so, yeah.
Yeah, we go Kevin, Chad, then Brie.
And it's
still anybody's game from what I can tell
but math isn't my thing.
Let's finish it off.
Inglorious Bastards.
Oh, man.
Yeah, exactly.
I'd be curious to see how these three movies did
pitted against each other as actual fuck, marry, kill.
Oh, where you pick one for each of the three?
Yeah.
Oh, wow. Can I tell you mine?
Yes, please.
You came to it pretty quick, so
I'm interested.
I'd fuck Pulp Fiction,
I'd marry once upon a time in Hollywood, and I would kill inglorious bastards. Man. That's what I would interested. I'd fuck Pulp Fiction. I'd marry once upon a time in Hollywood
and I would kill inglorious bastards.
Man.
That's what I would do.
That's tough.
That's what I would do if I lived in a country
where you're allowed to do those things.
It's a shame.
But I'm stuck in America.
Yeah.
We have to fight for that.
Yeah.
Call your senator.
Hello, senator.
I would like to fuck a motion picture.
Specifically.
Granted.
Those are good Dianne Feinstein.
Did you just?
Thank you.
Kevin is.
Wow, I'm really torn on Inglorious Bastards.
It's a tricky one.
What are you torn between? I think I'm really torn on Inglorious Bastards. It's a tricky one. What are you torn between?
I think I'm leaning between fucking Mary.
It was a really good movie.
I can't imagine anybody wanting to kill it.
A lot of people deep down want to marry Hitler.
What?
Ah, I mean, when you put it like that, yeah.
Ew.
I will go, you know what? Fuck worked out pretty good for me last time. I'll go You know what
Fuck worked out pretty good for me last time
I'll go fuck again
You're gonna just keep fucking
Yeah yeah yeah
Alright
Stay the fucking course
Yeah fuck away
Here we go
Chad
I'm gonna say kill
I'm gonna say kill a lot of
A lot of Nazis and such
Okay
Yeah
Maybe we murder them.
Okay.
Maybe we don't.
And that leaves for Brie.
I want to marry every one of those inglorious bastards.
Did you want to marry it?
Yeah, I'm so.
Okay.
Dibs on Sam Levine.
Hans Lennon.
Oh, that's right.
B.J. Novak.
Mm-hmm.
That's a handsome crew.
Eli Roth
who's
who they act like
is a gigantic man
in the movie
but I don't think
he's that big in person
the bear
yeah that's right
I guess it's
because he's
standing next to Sam
anyway
Sam
BJ
Brad Pitt
yeah right
not the tallest
leading man
all right
anyway
this was an interesting one because I don't know what it is about my followers or Twitter or this weird question.
But with every movie, fuck was the winner.
Like everybody would most prefer to fuck these movies than to do these other things to these movies.
Kill got 30%.
Mary got 31%.
And, oh, shit, I'm looking at the wrong one.
Kill got 17%.
Sorry, Chad.
Mary got 39.
Fuck got 44.
Whew.
Yeah, and just for those that, like, have curiosities,
I had as a tiebreaker Django Unained and uh 39 wanted to fuck that 31 marry
and 30 kill like it just breaks down like that every time like people just choose the ones that
are towards the top people that want that spend a lot of their time on the internet
want to want to fuck movies oh i i see what you're where you're driving at it's like nobody's on the
internet looking to marry something or kill something i mean there are people doing that too but most people are looking at sex they've
just come from redtube.com and they're like i need to fuck something else yeah what am i gonna fuck
oh there's a tarantino movie over there yeah do we think it's a quality of the director that's what
i believe like if you did alfonso Cuaron, you know, everyone would try
to marry those movies.
Oh, I'd fuck
E2 Mama with Tom Peele.
What'd you say
about my mama, Tom Peele?
So anyway,
so Kevin ran away
with that one
because he's just,
he got two number ones,
so he got way more points than anybody
so congratulations Kevin
you did that
and do you
know what you win Kevin
the prize bag
no that's going to an audience
member that one
of you is going to win for
oh I go first in the next game
you're going to go first in the next game. That's all you win.
It's not that big of a deal.
But sometimes it's helpful to
be first in a game.
And this next game,
have any of you seen the
Nicolas Cage movie, Pig?
Yes, I have. Oh, yeah. Two of you saw it?
You saw two? I've seen it. All three of you have seen Pig?
Yep. Like, when I ask an audience, I mean, this audience
might be different, but like, when I'm doing stand-up
and I ask the audience if they've seen Pig,
there's four or five enthusiastic people
among a couple of hundred.
I feel like the only people who've seen Pig
are Pig is for them, and they love it.
I haven't met anyone who saw Pig and hated it.
Does that person exist in this audience?
No. See? Yeah, you've seen it, so it's great. Or haven't seen it. Does that person exist in this audience? No, see?
Yeah, you've seen it, so it's great.
Or haven't seen it.
Those are the two things that I find.
It's depressing?
I mean, yeah, if you feel bad for the man losing his pig
and his desperate hunt for a pig, a specific pig,
yeah, it's an intense movie.
And it's not a comedy.
I know.
That's the craziest part.
It's depressing when you think there's an underworld of, like, truffle black markets.
That's why I was like, what the fuck's going on with planet Earth?
Yeah.
No, it's a, yeah.
Yeah, Alan Arkin's son, Adam Adam is very mean in that movie.
He's in meanie pants.
But I love Pig because I love doing a terrible Nicolas Cage impression.
And this is the perfect marriage of my impression and current Nicolas Cage movie.
Because I love saying, who has my pig?
And that's the name of this game.
This game is called, who has my pig?
Nicholas Cage is going to accuse a celebrity of having his pig.
There will be clues to who that celebrity is in his rant about them having his pig.
It was a pleasure playing, ladies and gentlemen.
Each of you gets a guess as often as you like
until somebody gets the right answer.
No audience guesses, please.
And yeah, between the three of you,
just jump in whenever you think you know it.
Nicolas Cage talking to...
The only criteria is it has to be a famous person.
Okay. I used to say
it was actors, but I think that
there's sometimes I slip in a
politician or somebody
that's not an actor. Although
politicians are actors.
Don't kid
yourselves.
Okay. Is everybody ready? Does everybody understand? I'm ready, Doug. Okay. Is everybody ready? Does everybody understand?
I'm ready, Doug. Okay.
Do you have my pig? You were my best bud. Then we went racing with the moon and I never saw you again. I guess that's the tree of life.
It's Carlito's way or the highway.
Got milk?
You got my piece. Sean Penn.
Oh, you fucking...
God, spit it out.
Bree Pruitt with Sean Penn.
You did it.
Race to the Moon?
Was that the first clue?
Racing with the Moon is one of his early motion pictures
where he and Nick Cage played buddies.
Both of them had only been in a couple movies at that point.
And they were friends.
They were best buds in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
And then I noticed, interestingly enough,
they never worked together again.
I mean, I could imagine both of them being like,
not that guy.
You know what I mean, I could imagine both of them being like, not that guy. You know what I mean?
They fulfill
the same role
on a set
so it makes sense
that that would be
competition for
energy.
Well,
I feel like Sean Penn
stays in character
and Nick Cage
stays crazy.
You know what I mean?
Like,
I think he's very sweet
and normal
in between takes.
Like,
he doesn't,
he's not that, I don't think he's that method and normal in between takes. He doesn't... He's not that...
I don't think he's that method, you know?
Which is very funny.
In the movie Pig, he's got all this hair.
He just looks like a...
You know, just this wood gnome, wood troll.
Giant.
A giant wood troll.
And he...
Just imagine him sitting around on the set
having lunch with that hair
and just having a normal conversation.
It's so hilarious.
Okay. Okay. so that's...
Who got that one?
Okay, Bree.
Bree's got one point.
We're playing this game to two points.
Here's the second one.
Do you have my pig?
Do not slap me in the face.
I will not snap out of it.
You need to take off.
Holy shit.
Who was first?
Is anybody?
That was...
It was a photo damn finish.
That was really...
Yeah.
That was a photo finish.
So let's just say Chad loses.
No, nobody heard me.
I said it at the exact same time those two did.
Did you? No, but check the tape anyways.
Oh man, I wish we could check the
tape.
To my ear, it really sounded
like harmonizing
Donnie and Marie.
Yeah.
Chair. Both saying chair.
Yeah.
Share, I mean.
Chair.
Oh, wait, I actually did say chair.
That was my guess.
Have you met my friend chair?
Have you met my friend chair?
Have a seat.
All right.
Chair is the answer.
I was going to say, I was going to go on to say,
take off your mask and tell me.
If you could turn back time, would you have my pig?
Or does Sonny have it?
Yeah, it got dark at the end.
And I'm glad.
I still wouldn't have gotten there.
Dark lady laughed and danced and lit the candle.
Okay, so since that was a tie, I can't really call Bree the winner,
so we're going to go to another round and just pretend that one never happened.
Strike that.
I'd like to ask the jury to pretend that that didn't happen
and the stenographer to strike it from the record.
Where does this one start?
And where does it stop?
Do you have my pig?
We tried raising Arizona together.
Holly Hunter.
Brie Pruitt is our winner.
That's great.
A stab.
A wild stab.
Do you think I could find my pig if I watched broadcast news?
Should I hire a hunter, Holly?
Got real obvious at the end there.
Let's do the tiebreaker
because the tiebreaker
is my favorite one.
If you've heard this game
in the past,
it's so funny.
You ready for the tiebreaker?
Yeah.
Play as if it's real.
Okay.
Maybe I'll declare
the person who wins
the tiebreaker
the absolute winner.
We're playing as if it's real?
I'll just put my mic down.
Yeah.
Play like you normally do.
Don't participate.
Well, come on, Chad. Play like you normally do Don't participate Come on Chad You can do this
This is the one you can do
If you can do any of them
Do you have my pig Laura Dern
Laura Dern
I think that might be every round from now on.
It's so funny to me.
I was still fucking third.
I really was.
What a nightmare.
I just love the accusation.
Fucking Laura Dern.
I know you have my pig, Laura Dern.
I know you have my pig, Laura Dern.
This is Oscar winner on Oscar winner crime.
All right.
Well, we did that, and it was super fun.
And Bree, you won that, so that means you get to go first in our next game.
And you know when our next game is going to happen.
After the break, we'll be right back.
We're back!
I have never done the waving my arms around to get the audience to do that.
And I appreciate everybody playing along.
That's fun.
And I'll probably do it from now on.
It's fun to get everybody whipped up.
So Bree officially won the Who Has My Pig game. So she gets to go first in last person standing.
The game where all four of us,
I like to play along,
take turns naming movies
that an actress
who is suggested by an audience member
is in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But all of you get to go to your
lifeline once.
That's the person whose name tag you chose.
Yeah.
Get your shit together, Kelsey.
So Brie can go to Nick Old.
Nick Old.
Nick Old.
Which I thought when I saw it in the audience was Sicario.
And that also works.
Nickario.
Maybe next time.
Maybe next time. Maybe next time.
Maybe next time
and you'll do an older movie.
Older than old.
Did you see Old, by the way?
Yeah.
No, I just,
I was out on director and premise.
Those two things were all I needed
to go, no thanks.
Okay, so anyway, before all of us grow old, I should spit this out.
So I'm going to ask for audience members to raise their hand if they think they have a
suggestion of the name of the actress that might be sitting in my wallet.
It's been there for a while. We'll do up to four today
because I really do want to give away $380
is what it's up to now.
And it'll be $400 when I come to Sacramento in two weeks
if it doesn't happen today.
I really want it to happen today, though,
because I'm tired of it.
And it's fun that it would happen
in sweet home San Diego and
there were no shows in between the postponed
show and this show so no other
city got a crack at it.
You know what I mean? So this is like a make
good on the fact that San Diego was supposed to be
happen earlier than
now.
I have faith Doug. I think it's going to happen tonight than now.
I have faith, Doug. I think it's going to happen tonight.
I feel it.
Yeah.
There's like a vibration in the room.
Everyone's all a titter.
But that's probably the trolley cars going by outside.
Oh, shit, we've got a beverage down.
We're good.
It was empty.
It was empty.
It was empty, everybody.
It's OK, guys.
It's OK.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down. All down. Sit down.
All right, here we go.
Please volunteer your hand into the air if you'd like to suggest a name for us to play today.
This lady is telling the guy next to her, he said women.
He's like, yeah, but I really have a good name, so I'm going to throw my hat into the ring.
But this lady on the end is going between raising her hand and fixing a crick in her neck.
I'm not sure which one.
Are you officially raising your hand?
Okay, what's your name, ma'am?
Joy.
Joy, and what's your suggestion?
Penelope Cruz.
Penelope Cruz is a great suggestion, and we will play her today, but she is not in my wallet. I should have brought my
fun little whistle to blow if somebody
actually gets it.
Let me write down. Penelope
Cruz is one of the four names, and
Chad is already relieved.
I mean, it might only be two names.
We'll see what the next one is, but we can all agree
that we need more, right?
Yeah, I could use three more.
I need three more. Okay? Yeah, I could use three more. I need three more.
Okay, well, we'll do three more names for sure,
even if somebody hits it.
I love this guy over here.
I like how my Uncle Ken still has his hand up.
Really going for it.
But I'm going to go with this lady here
because she got here early enough to get a front row seat.
And what's your name?
Teresa.
Teresa. Okay, your name? Teresa. Teresa.
Okay, slow down, Teresa.
Wait until I ask you.
Okay, go.
Betty White.
Betty White.
Holy shit.
I mean, that is a wonderful tribute
that you would waste your guess with.
With a great actress, mostly
known for TV and game shows
and dogs and
animals.
But she's the
greatest. Don't yell out already
names of movies she was in.
So did you hear that, Chad? Sure did.
Chad's got one. He's got one
in the quiver. He's got one ready to go. Alright, but I love that you hear that, Chad? Sure did. Can I go first? Chad's got one. He's got one in the quiver.
He's got one ready to go.
All right.
But I love that you said that because, of course, I'm a big Betty White fan.
All right.
So here's a lady in the front row.
Another front row lady.
What's your name?
Sarab.
Sarab.
And what's your suggestion, Sarab?
Elizabeth Harris.
Oh, my God.
Look at Chad's face.
He's so unhappy with that. What are we doing?
Liz Taylor. Elizabeth Taylor is what she suggested.
Can we maybe bend the rules and get five names?
I think we might have to.
I think we might have to because I can name five or six maybe
in a pinch and then a few more maybe, you know, in a pinch.
And then a few more maybe if I think about it some more.
But, you know, I like to say she's before my time, even though that's not really true.
I just didn't pay attention to her as a youth, really.
She was just always fighting with Richard Burton.
I could name a commercial.
A commercial that she's in?
Oh, yeah. What was it?
Diamonds or something?
Yeah.
Look at that.
There you go.
Your turn.
Okay.
So let's do another one.
His hands back up.
I love this.
I love that dude so much.
But wait a second.
What happened to second row? I thought there was a lady in the
second row this over here what's your name yeah you hi Lisa what's your suggestion Lisa
Emily Blunt I'm gonna have to be frank with you and Blunt. No. Aww.
Emily Blunt.
All right, well, your request is going to be granted.
I'm going to take one more name.
One more name.
This could be from any row.
I want to see who thinks they really have solved this mystery.
Not like I know actresses' names and will say one.
Like, I really think I figured this out.
All right, she's got one hand up right now, and it keeps going up.
Yeah, what's your name?
Yeah, you.
Chelsea.
Okay, we got more than one.
We got more.
Oh, it's Kelsey with the name tag?
Oh, you're already in's Kelsey with the name tag?
Oh, you're already in the running for the name tag,
so I shouldn't pick you.
So the lady with this behind Kelsey,
what's your name?
Siva.
What's that?
Siva.
Siva?
Okay, Siva.
Diva with a C.
Siva.
She said that, not me, for the listeners.
I don't immediately jump to those
kind of devices
to remember a name
but Siva
what is your suggestion
she was so
those arms
were saying
I'm gonna nail this
and the answer
she came up with
was Phoebe Cates
what are your thoughts
on six names
I like six names
I like six names
and I cannot lie.
What's the audience's thought on guessing someone
that's in more than one fucking movie?
What is happening right now?
I'm afraid that's part of the issue is people think,
oh, it must be somebody obscure or somebody that's, you know, for certain reasons hasn't come up yet.
But I got to say that second row dude, it's been so he's been so, you know, he's just been there in a way that makes me feel like he really is going gonna say it and put us all out of our misery.
What is your name, sir?
Ken.
Ken?
Yeah, that's my Uncle Ken.
What's that?
That's my Uncle Ken.
For reals?
Yeah.
Okay, hang on a second, Ken.
I mean, I'd love for you to have the money,
but what's the deal with your Uncle Ken?
He lives in San Diego?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think I knew that you had family down here
because you said that when you came down here before.
Was he raising his hand to show arm's length?
No, he just likes participating.
Okay, great.
Yeah, no, he's really into,
he wants to say a name, but he doesn't listen to Doug Loves Movies, does he? No. He just came to see Okay, great. Yeah, no, he's really into, he wants to say a name,
but he doesn't listen to Doug Loves Movies, does he?
No.
He just came to see you today.
Yeah.
So he's really going to just be taking a wild shot,
but he's acting so confident.
What's that?
I listen all the time.
He says he listens all the time, Kevin.
I'll take his word for it.
How come the two of you don't talk about
how much you love Doug Loves Movies?
I assume Kevin knew I listened to it
did you listen to the one
that he hosted
yes I did
is that what got you hooked
and then next week
you're like
who's this asshole
I thought this was
a nephew podcast
I thought Kevin
hosted Doug Lowe's movies
alright what's your name
what's his name again?
Ken.
Ken, okay.
I just love the shame that you had
in having to confess that he's your uncle.
You had to blurt it out.
You could have just kept it to yourself.
Ken wasn't going to bring it up.
Since you had to ask his name again,
can I try my arm's length joke again?
That got fucking nothing.
It's a pretty good joke.
They're related.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe they didn't laugh because he was holding
his arm up like this.
If he went arms length,
maybe.
I just thought
it was a great play on words.
But it wasn't really
a lengthy arm.
It was like a hook.
It was like a hooked
casual arm.
DM from one person.
Ken and his flapping arm
who listens to the show.
So we got to give him a shot, right?
All right, Ken.
Who is it?
It's easy.
Sandra Bullock.
He said, it's easy, Sandra Bullock.
And it's like, well, finally we have a name of somebody
who's been in a million movies.
But no, she's come up quite a bit in this game.
Because when you ask a man, name an actress, Sandy B.
Sandy B. comes up.
And then when you ask, did you see The Lake House?
Did you see Miss Congeniality?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
They go, no, no, no, no, no.
She's the girl from Speed.
Yeah, the bus movie. She's the girl from Speed.
Well, I had two movies.
Thanks a lot.
She's got a lot, dude.
You're going to be in good shape.
All right.
So the money, nobody won the money today.
I'm sorry about that.
That means $400 is on the line in Sacramento.
Wow.
So, yeah, we'll see how they do with it.
Maybe this is too much pressure at this point.
But Penelope Cruz, Betty White.
I mean, this is just a memory game I'm trying to remember.
Remember all these actresses.
Penelope Cruz, Betty White, Phoebe Cates, Elizabeth Taylor, Emily Blunt,
and Sandra Bullock.
We will name the films
of those six actresses
until
one of you
lasts longer than
the other two.
I said Brie gets to start.
And Kevin
and I are pretty confident,
so we will go that way.
So it's going to go Bree, Chad, Doug.
That's an interesting question.
Where you're sitting right now,
where you don't think you know a lot of titles,
would you rather come up second or
fourth? I don't care. You pick.
I am picking, but I'm just still
wondering strategically.
I have no strategy but to ask
Kelsey. Kelsey Porter!
I'm going to need your
help. He's going to go
to you, and you're going to need to help
him, Kelsey. It really
is going to come down to you for sure
right
Bree and Kevin maybe
yeah I think so
okay so we'll go Bree
Chad me Kevin
please don't say
any from the audience
it glared at the woman in her heart he said
one
go Bree
okay the first film
I will choose is
Penelope Cruz's
Vanilla Sky
sure
that's where she met
her future
really
yeah
didn't work out
I did know that one
I was taking the low hanging fruit first
okay
oh I didn't consider that
low hanging fruit
I thought no one was
I'm just kidding
I will go
can you tell me what are we eliminating what she said I didn't consider that low-hanging fruit. I thought no one was going to. I'm just kidding. I will go.
Can you tell me what, are we eliminating what she said?
Can you tell me what it was?
Because I have a movie, but I don't know if it was what she said.
No, we're not eliminating it, and I thought you said you heard it.
You said Betty White, and I only know two Betty White movies.
Okay.
So I'm assuming it was one of those.
Yeah.
So you might want to save those.
I don't know.
Okay.
I'd go ahead and say the Sandra Bullock movies you can think of.
Who are the actresses again?
Sandra Bullock. Okay.
Sandra Bullock.
I just say that six times.
No, Penelope Cruz.
Oh, I'll do Fast Times at Richmond High.
There you go.
Phoebe Cates.
Good job.
You know, you're going to not be thrilled with yourselves that you didn't clap when I got one movie.
I just want you to know that.
It feels right to do it.
Because there's going to be three more gone by the time it gets to me.
All right, my turn. Gremlins phoebe cates kevin i remember what she said doug she said lake placid yes that's right
great betty white film and a great film overall uh if you want to check it out i mean it's silly
but it's it's a it's a great bet White. I think she says the F word, right?
Didn't she say the F word in it?
Probably.
Yeah.
And it's like PG-13.
You know, she had the one F bomb.
She got it.
We got to fucking give it to Betty.
It's in her rider.
She gets the one F bomb in every PG-13 movie. If there's an F bomb in this movie, I'm going to fucking say it.
It was in her rider.
What?
Oh, you haven't fucking laughed all night.
Who gives a shit?
Oh, now you think I'm going to be like,
I'm sorry, I'm not.
Whose turn is it?
It's my turn.
Okay.
Speed.
Sandy B.
Chad, back to you.
We're doing the things you said?
Back to you in the studio Chad
which one
you said lake house earlier right yeah I'm stealing it
that's fair you can do that
thank you
yeah
I mean I think
you know right now
you're not great at this game but I bet you were
really good at it while you were sleeping
oh okay I get it I got it you're not great at this game, but I bet you were really good at it while you were sleeping.
Ooh.
Oh, okay.
I get it.
I got it.
Kevin?
I'll go Speed 2 Cruise Control.
Yeah, might as well get that one out of the way.
Bree?
What a piece of shit, huh?
Miss Congeniality, let me just, you know,
cleanse the palate with a fantastic movie.
There we go.
Chad.
Blindside.
Yes.
She won the Oscar for that one.
Thank you.
She did not win anything for Bird Box.
Ooh.
Oh, man.
It just flew out of my brain.
Oh, no.
Get it back.
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
Fucking.
Or you can kill time by using your lifeline.
That's true.
You know what?
I'll just do.
Yeah.
One of those.
Gremlins 2, the new batch.
Nice.
Phoebe Cates reprising her role.
Bree Pruitt.
Miss Congeniality 2.
Now, here's where...
There's a subtitle.
Quick sand.
Yeah, what's the subtitle?
Fuck me.
Nope.
I wish that was the subtitle of it.
What is this, a Quentin Tarantino movie?
All right, maybe I back up off that.
Chad's right.
You guys aren't laughing at his funny jokes.
Thank you.
They never do.
They sit there and fucking stare.
And that's okay.
When they listen to this at home,
they're going to laugh so hard.
Arms length.
Jesus Christ.
You're more fun
when they can't see you.
That's fair.
Yeah.
There's much less anger
from you
when you can't see the face.
Whose turn is it?
It's my turn.
Oh, Bree.
I actually,
I don't even remember the first, the last movie that I said I'm going to
change it.
Do you guys know the film Cleopatra?
With Elizabeth Taylor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That was a big movie.
Holy shit.
That's great.
Big budget flop.
Thank you.
I didn't think anyone was going to get one of those.
Oh, I'll throw down some.
Yeah, I think this guy I'll throw down.
Elizabeth Taylor, I don't care.
Is there a movie,
now you know that I am
very great at describing movies,
but not knowing the names.
Is there a movie called
The Engagement?
Oh, wow.
The audience is indicating
that you are wrong,
but close.
God damn it. Yeah. And I think it has two of close. God damn it.
Yeah.
And I think it has two of the actresses in it.
Oh, a little double.
I'm going to have a fucking double whammy,
but I can't remember what it is.
Yeah, that is true.
That's a good point.
Probably maybe the only movie that has two of the actresses,
but I'm not sure about that either.
There's six fucking actresses.
I mean, I'm thinking to myself here
but it was like is there an extra word at the end
or
no you gotta move on
you're not gonna get it
let's go to Kelsey
don't say the movie he's thinking of because it might come to him
or one of us might steal it
unless you don't have anything else
I know the movie but I'll say the 355
the 355 which one's in that?
Cruise is in it.
Nice.
Cool.
Nice.
You know what else she's in?
It's in theaters now. Parallel
Mothers.
No. I'll take your
word for it. Pedro Almodovar.
Oh, Pedro Almodovar. You guys gonna take your word for it. Pedro Almodovar. Oh, Pedro Almodovar.
Yeah.
Almodovar, yeah.
You guys gonna take my word for stuff?
It's in theaters right now.
I don't know how much.
I'm just kidding.
Holy shit.
Chad!
Okay.
Kevin?
Wait, is Emily Blunson, right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The Blunt still exists?
We got so many blunts.
Get the blunt.
Fucking five-year engagement.
Yeah, five-year engagement.
Yeah.
Not the movie Chad was thinking of.
Brie?
Your Almodovar reference made me think of Volver.
Of course.
Another Penelope Cruz.
I'm only here because I'm working in San Diego this weekend.
I'm only here because I'm working in San Diego this weekend.
Clearly, I don't know any movies except it's called The Quiet Place.
Is that right?
Quiet Place.
Okay, great.
And if one of you fuckers steal the sequel, you sequel bitches.
Don't you dare.
I do want to take it,
but I have so many options at this point.
So I'll just show off my Elizabeth Taylor knowledge and say who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Wow.
Kevin?
I'm sorry, Chad,
but I am going to steal the sequel to A Quiet Place.
That's fine.
Demolition Man.
Good old Sandy Bobo.
Yeah.
Brie?
The Devil Wears Prada.
Mm-hmm.
You guys are so fast.
Just locked it in.
Cleopatra 2 Tut.
Comes back around quick.
Cruise control.
Is that not on?
Chad, you had a great run.
Thank you.
Kelsey helped you when you needed it.
Sure did.
Thank you, Kelsey.
And unfortunately, you know, that's all Kelsey could do.
But thank you for being here.
Appreciate you having me.
And we'll talk to you a little more in a bit
okay great
I mean at least
there isn't like a trap door or something
I'm not
Ellen DeGeneres
okay I'm going to keep going
on the Elizabeth Taylor tip because it's just
fun because nobody I never talked to
anybody about Elizabeth Taylor movies
she was in a film called The Mirror Cracked Taylor tip because it's just fun because nobody, I never talked to anybody about Elizabeth Taylor movies.
She was in a film called The Mirror Cracked.
I believe you, Doug.
Yeah, it's true.
It's in theaters now.
Kevin?
This is getting a little intense.
I can really feel the gravity of the situation.
It was right in front of us. That's how we're gonna play it. I see.
I see.
Brie?
How about Not Without My Mother?
Which is another Penelope Cruz
Almodovar collab
that all the kids are talking about.
Yeah, they love it.
You know, if we added three more names, if we added three more names to this, they would definitely, I would like them to be Vicky, Christina, Barcelona.
Barcelona.
Barcelona.
Barcelona.
Kevin?
Mary Poppins Returns
look at you
yeah
the blunt
sounds like a sequel
Brie
how about Elizabeth Taylor and Black Velvet
sure
I don't know what the fuck that is
but uh
you really sold it no cause yeah I know what the fuck that is but you really sold it
no because yeah I know what's happening
I get it now
pick something else
yes no problem sir
I just don't want you to you know
make any mistakes
yeah
well maybe it's time for me to say
Miss Congeniality 2
red white and blue
no I think it was red white and 2 legally blonde red white and blonde for me to say Miss Congeniality 2, Red, White, and Blue. No.
I think it was Red, White, and Two.
Legally Blonde, Red, White, and Blonde.
No, they go a different fun subtitle.
Cute, cute, cute, cute.
But you could come up with another Sandy Bullock
or another Liz Taylor
or another Emily Blunt
or Phoebe Cates.
You said a new batch.
Who is Emily Blunt? Betty White.ates. You said a new batch. Who is Emily Blunt?
Betty White.
Did you do A Quiet Place 2?
Nobody did.
Bam!
Yeah, that one doesn't even have a subtitle.
It's not like...
Right before you, bro.
Quiet Place 2, shit got quieter.
Quiet Place 2, shut up, I mean it quit fucking around how many of these movies
how many times do we have to deal with this that's but that's cool that was like the you know
you know the sounds make the thing come out and there's Sandraock movie Bird Box is like you can't look at the thing or it'll attack
you
but you know I heard it's a cure
for when you get
attacked in Bird Box
just drink a little love
potion number nine
Sandy Bulbul
oh wait didn't she just do a new Netflix one that was like the informant Sandy Bulbul. Oh, wait.
Didn't she just do a new Netflix one
that was like The Informant?
The, the, the...
I would like to go to my lifeline, Nat.
Where are you?
Who's your lifeline again?
Where is it?
What's your name?
Oh, Nat.
Okay, Nat.
She is. Yeah, Nat. Okay, Nat. She is.
That's good. It's good for you to double check.
She's in what?
The Heat. Oh, that's right.
Oh, The Heat.
The Heat. Yes, not just Heat. The Heat.
Yeah, that was a funny one.
Melissa McCarthy, yeah.
Yeah.
Directed by Paul Feig. All right, Brie.
Penelope Cruz stars in oh man the Mexican no no Julia Roberts yeah doesn't make any better not not get canceled for this um she was in a shooting shoot shoot um bang bang bang
unsure nicole please oh she's going to her lifeline nicole
what the fuck that's amazing the caribbean onides. That's a real full title situation right there.
Oh, my God.
Nicely done.
Give it up.
That was incredible.
Nicole on Stranger Tides?
Bravo.
Incredible.
It's like you're armed and fabulous.
No!
Oh!
This congeniality, too.
Armed and fabulous.
There it is.
Yeah.
Kevin?
Kevin?
Penelope Cruz. There it is. Yeah. Kevin. Penelope Cruz.
Uh-huh.
In Gothica.
What?
With Halle Berry?
Yes.
Okay.
She was one of the mental patients in there with her.
If you say so.
You know more about that movie than I do.
Wait, Robert Downey Jr.?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, Brie.
You might have just walked away with
this, Kevin. He might have.
I'm going to make
him come up with one more correct answer, though.
So start thinking, Kevin.
Because I got plenty.
I'm sure. Yeah.
It's all gas in this tank.
Well, she was in this...
I'll try it on the Netflix movie
that I also watched that Kevin was referring to
that Sandra Bullock is in.
She is an informant.
She works as an informant,
but it's a one-word title,
and she's coming back to her life
because she's kicked her trauma,
and it's...
the comeback.
Let me make a quick proposal.
Keep going.
I'll do the monologue.
No, I'm just kidding.
I know the name of that movie you're talking about.
I just watched it recently because I watch every movie that makes it to number one on the Netflix movie charts.
I try to.
I'm a little behind right now.
But, yeah, I know what that movie's called.
She gets out of prison.
So I don't know if I'd call her an informant necessarily.
But anyway, just tries to get her life back after being in prison.
Do you give up, Bree?
Yeah, I give up.
The prisoner.
It's called Unforgivable.
Unforgivable.
Right?
Yeah.
And, of course, the proposal is what Chad was trying to think of when he said the engagement.
It's got both Betty White and Sandy B in it.
Kevin, do you want me to give another one before you give one more?
No.
Seems...
Oh! You don't want me to take the one you're going to do?
Let me try to think of which one you might do
and steal it.
I don't think I could do that.
I mean, I don't think I could steal it.
Because I don't think
I'm going to think of one that you...
Oh, Emily Blunt? Is't think I'm going to think of one that you... Oh,
Emily Blunt?
Is that who you're going to do?
Yeah.
Don't do it. Don't do it. Oh, shit. Are you on the edge of tomorrow? No!
No!
Wait, wait, wait.
It has two titles. Live, Die, Repeat.
We can share it. You win
anyway. Kevin Kraft is our winner.
Holy mackerel.
What a burn burner.
And congratulations to, you know, it's a good thing I wrote it down because I always forget who you're playing for.
Who are you playing for?
Nat.
How are you?
Nat at the museum.
I just forgot Nat a few minutes ago Who are you playing for? Nat. Nat at the museum. I just forgot Nat
a few minutes ago. Apologies
for that, Nat.
And congratulations.
You're the winner of, I'll just tell you this
much, a pair of like
insanely ugly Crocs.
Like
even by Croc standards
I don't think they're... Here, I'll show them to you.
Boop.
Whoa, those are cool, actually.
They're hella cool.
I got a worse color of Crocs than these,
and I had to bedazzle those with some beads,
and now they're pretty cool.
But anyway, congratulations to Nat.
You won all the stuff.
Woo!
And you got all of Chad Daniels' stuff, too.
Chad Daniels, while I pass that off to her,
could you please do your plugs?
Promote yourself.
Sure.
Hi.
It's me, the one that wasn't getting laughs.
You can find my tour dates at chaddaniells.com
and thatchaddaniells on Instagram.
Find my tour dates at chaddanyals.com and thatchaddanyals on Instagram.
You can see pictures of the kids I was raising
while I wasn't watching movies.
You're just watching probably a lot of movies
that don't have credits and whatnot.
You want to talk Kung Fu Panda?
Let's do it.
Oh, Penelope Cruz did a voice in that.
Uh-uh.
No.
You know?
That I know for sure.
All right, I'll try to remember that next time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, we usually don't have any Kung Fu Panda experts
on the show.
Brie Pruitt.
Yes, Brie Pruitt across platforms,
on social media.
You can watch,
watch,
nope,
you can listen to a podcast
that I do called,
You Can Do It With Brie Pruitt.
It's a pep talk podcast
and it's a lot of fun.
Sweet.
Yeah.
B-R-I-P-R-U-E-T-T
and Kevin K-R-A-F-T.
What do you want to plug?
We talked to you earlier about your shows, but mention them again.
Sure, yeah.
You can hear the Jason Ellis Show podcast.
I'm on that.
And we have a Patreon where we do four extra hours every week.
And then I have my own side podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour.
If you're listening to this, you're probably a fan of Doug.
He was on episode 420.
That, I think, is still listed in the feed. if you're listening to this you're probably a fan of doug he was on episode 420 that's i think it's
still listed in the feed and uh yeah you can follow me on instagram at kevin craft i love it
uh kevin can you join us on uh you know over zoom uh next uh week from tomorrow's super bowl sunday
uh like you know we'll do it like at noon we'll do it a few hours for the game can you join us
then you think sure yeah i hate this all right you don't have to oh perfect all right we'll do it like at noon we'll do it a few hours before the game can you join us then you think sure yeah I hate the Super Bowl
you don't have to oh perfect
all right let's do it during the Super Bowl
but anyway well I'll reach
out to you about that and
thank you for all
three of you for being here Douglas Movies
is coming to Sacramento
February 19th
at 420 if someone can figure out the
name in my wallet, they'll get
$400 in cash.
Sacramento Punchline
420.
Follow Doug Loves Movies on Twitter.
And
thank you American Comedy Company
and everyone who came out today.
Thank you Chad
Daniels, Brie Pruitt and Kevin Kraft and as always queue up
that theme music it's a short Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!