Doug Loves Movies - Chemda, Frank Conniff and Keith Malley guest
Episode Date: March 22, 2021Doug welcomes Keith Malley and Chemda of Keith and the Girl and TV's Frank Conniff to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of St...itcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love March
It's March, right? This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you once again from Spring Forward.
You Spring Forward with another Homes Alone edition.
It's Sunday, March 21st, 2021. And my guests
are a returning champ plus two
podcasting legends. It's
Hamda and keith malley from keith and the girl and our man frank connor
from from frank connor because we've already talked to him a lot hey let's meet them individually
starting with she's the girl of keith and the girl it's hemda hello how are you i'm good thank
you for having me on the show it's always nice to have you and to hear from you and in this case
even see you you've got your video on and i i love that about you thank you it's gonna be the
only thing i get right today so i'm really i'm I think I'm more psyched to be here because I know
how much I don't belong. So I appreciate it. Well, it's, you know, it's just nice people
having a fun time. So I think you do belong. I think you're so sweet. Perfect piece of the puzzle.
But you're right. There is somebody who has really shown up today ready to play and
he's keith of keith and the girl well hello yes everybody keith malley hello thank you i'm jumping
at it because i uh take uh i take this stuff very seriously do you now you're the host so this is
different but how are you like in regular games?
Monopoly, that kind of thing.
Do you become, do you take it too seriously, et cetera?
I believe as a young person, I did take it too seriously.
And as an adult, I barely participate in that sort of thing.
Okay.
Because I do get into it.
So, I mean, for a couple years there, I got to enjoy going on that show at midnight
because it was competitive with buzzers and whatnot.
And so I'd sort of get it out of my system there because I do really enjoy a good competition.
But did it bother you, the editing at all, where I come back from commercial
and I see that the scores are totally different?
Oh, yeah. Were you ever like, you're not
taking it seriously. I know it's all
jokes, but what are points?
I didn't care for that
part of it, but
they only really rigged it against
me one time because they thought it'd be
funny if I lost on
April 20th.
Oh.
The high holiday? Oh, the high holiday.
Oh, my God. On Hitler's birthday of all days.
Yeah.
So they had a special, you know, at the end when somebody loses,
they bathe them in this sad red light.
And so when I lost that day, they were all excited for me to lose
because they had like a green light set up.
They shined a green light on me.
And then that was that was the
only time i lost in the the whole run of the show it really it really besmirched my record
do you rate on wiki like he didn't really lose or he played along and this is the only reason
he lost says sources no that doesn't come up i mean maybe somebody listening now can go take care of that, but I don't know.
I just have to let the internet decide what's what the truth is.
But when it comes to winning and losing the truth here is that our next
guest is making his fourth appearance in as many weeks.
It's TV's Frank, Frank Conniff. Hey, Doug. Hey, everybody. It's great to be here.
Great to be with all these people that I just like so much.
It's such a lovely environment doing it this way.
If we were in a green room right now, the dirty looks that Keith Malley is giving you,
there would be some tension.
I think Keith's presence this week
means my perch as a longtime champion is in danger.
I have that feeling.
I like that no one's scared of me.
I mean, yesterday I described Adam Sandler
as the guy that says scooby-doo.
So I'm ready.
I'm ready.
I would have guessed on that.
I would have guessed either Adam Sandler or Matthew Lillard.
Right.
Those would have been my guesses because he's, of course, shaggy.
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
I didn't know if I just want a point.
I was just going for it.
Yeah.
This isn't at midnight. I'm just going for it. Yeah. This isn't at midnight.
I don't know. I was just going to be swirling points around with people.
I was listening to your latest show and I thought it was very funny.
I had to Google like every movie that you brought up.
So I'm learning a lot.
Oh, that's good. I hope,
I always wished that this would be an educational experience.
And it's finally happening for one person.
But you are here today, and I appreciate it.
Frank knows because he's been here a few times of late.
He knows the question I'm going to ask everybody before we get into the playing the games and that is what is your
recommendation this week of a motion picture
for people to check out Frank
well I'm going to mention a movie that
it just premiered this week on
Apple TV which if you don't have,
I think you can get a,
like a free trial subscription to it.
But the new Russo Russo brothers movie cherry,
I watched which stars Tom Holland,
who was Spider-Man and the most recent Spider-Man movies.
And I really didn't know that much about it when I watched it,
but I liked the Russo brothers. So I gave it a chance and it's,
it's, it's based on a true story about a, a guy who was
a veteran of, of the war of the war.
The war.
Yes.
No points, no points.
And he comes back and he has PTSD
and he becomes...
Jesus, it's not a book report, Frank.
All right, we'll see. Well, it's not a book report, Frank. All right. We'll see.
Well, it's a long movie. So I think my, my description should be long.
He becomes a, he becomes a junkie and,
and it's just his journey and it kind of goes into this whole section where
it's,
it's kind of a huge bummer because he becomes a junkie and he doesn't have
any money and he starts robbing banks and stuff. And, um, uh,
like I didn't know that it was going to be like that. So, um, so I,
I didn't, I don't know if I,
I would have necessarily watched knowing that because that's not necessarily a
journey I want to take because it's, it's, it's just very upsetting.
But overall though, I, I thought the movie was powerful,
and it was moving, and I'm going to recommend it.
All right.
Frank is on the record.
He likes Cherry.
A little fun tidbit.
In production, the movie was, the working title was Banana.
Well, you see, then that would have really misled me,
because I would have expected a funny movie.
There's no way a drama can be called bananas.
No, no.
They switched it to cherry just to save their asses.
Why is it called cherry?
Is his name?
That I can't I can't fucking remember why.
I know why.
I know why.
I know why.
Because he's he's a new At one point, he's a new
recruit, and so he's the
guy who's the cherry. He's new to...
Yeah.
They say that when he gets his first kill,
I think, or something. Yeah, yeah.
That's right. That kind of shit.
And there's a whole section of the movie
that's called Cherry when he
goes to training camp. The movie is
very ambitious. It's broken up into chapters. It's in movie that's called Cherry when he goes to training camp. The movie is very ambitious. It's broken up into chapters and chapters.
So if you don't like books, move along.
Mm hmm. Yes, it's based on a book which I haven't read.
But I like I liked it.
OK. Movies based on books have to have the page number on the bottom right,
even if they skip around.
Little notes at the end of what they changed.
If I have it at home, I want to play along.
All right.
So you didn't have to prepare a speech about it, Camder. I just.
You know what?
I don't really think my description was out of the ordinary of the way people talk in this section.
It was perfect.
It was absolutely perfect.
But I just I know that Hamda could be intimidated by how perfect yours was.
By knowing what a movie is.
So I just wanted to let her know that she could just say, I like Caddyshack, and then we move on.
Oh, my God.
Is that my handicap?
Okay.
Let me see if I can do this one.
I just want a big and funny title.
I don't know what you actually like.
Actually, I appreciated Frank's description
because that sounds right up my alley.
I love highly emotional stuff that I get too caught up in.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to check that out.
And that brings me to mine, which is Drop Dead Fred, which is an older movie.
Just how I like my movies.
Yeah.
And I think that Drop Dead Fred gets brought up a lot
and people are like, yeah, it's this goofy movie.
And I'm like, no, this is a very deep movie.
I have cried several times in this movie.
It's not just a wackadoo guy who smashes his face in the fridge and then, like,
blows it back up into the right face.
To me, this is
a childhood.
Some people don't know if the drop dead Fred is a real person.
He's not real, right?
He's not real.
He's from her.
He's her imaginary friend as a kid.
And then as an adult, he comes back.
And to me, it's obvious he comes back because she's having a lot of trouble in her life.
And when she was a kid feeling lonely, not knowing what to do, he came into her life as an adult.
He's coming back into her life to say, Hey,
you have other options other than this life that you've created,
but it's going to hurt a little bit.
Is this story told in chapters?
Oh man. I didn't know the assignment was a chapter movie.
We're just looking for chapter movies.
Movies about chapters are baloney okay it
was a first it was a new chapter in her life do you accept a new chapter in her life um that's
one that's a movie comes up a lot it really does uh resonate with some people you know yeah but
i'm also saying it a little bit out of a selfish reason.
It's really hard to find very expensive to buy.
If you're going to try to buy the actual DVD or even download, I think.
So I'm hoping your listeners will find some free or reasonably priced version
that I can have. I haven't seen it in years and I'd like to,
but it's always playing in mental hospitals for free.
Yeah.
So there you go, listeners.
She's thrown out the request
that if you know how to access that particular movie,
Drop Dead Fred,
hook her up on the socials.
Thank you.
What do you go by on the socials?
What's your fun handle?
If you know how to spell Chemda and you can't find me everywhere, that's a problem.
But my name is spelled Chemda.
It's at Chemda in most places, at Chemda, K-A-T-G on Instagram.
Yes.
Yeah.
There you go.
Who looks at the Keith and the Girl accounts?
The Instagram?
Oh, all of them?
We both take turns.
Oh, okay.
So you never know who you're talking to when you jump in there and say something.
If I'm to a certain way, then I'll put my name at the end.
So it's fair.
But no, in general, you never fucking know.
Oh, I love it.
Okay. So, Keith, we got Drop Dead Fred, we got Cherry.
What would you like to recommend today?
It's Cherry, and I'll tell you why.
I actually have a DVD.
Do you guys still have DVDs in your house?
I can't let about 10 of them go.
Mine are all in storage. I don't have them in my house. let about 10 of them go i don't mine are all in storage i don't i don't have them
in my house i have stacks of them i got so many this year for the like the awards consideration
and i'm just like how do i how do i turn it off how do i make it stop because i i'm not going to
watch them that way anyway so now they're just you know now it's just a waste
you know because i'm you're not supposed to share them with anybody so now i just have these things
that are supposed to cut up and put in the garbage yeah i have like and i kept narrowing mine down
and i almost the way a jewish people can't throw out paper that has the word god on it i'm like
these are this is this is spinal tap this is kings of comedy this, these are, this is, this is Spinal Tap. This is Kings of Comedy. This is,
these are some of the greatest things that, like, how do you throw it out? But yeah,
it's really just sitting there like art. But I looked at the collection, pulled out
Leap of Faith with Steve Martin and Debra Winger. The tagline being real miracles, sensibly priced.
And maybe it's because my dad was a Catholic priest before I got married that I love it so much, but he's a flim-flam artist,
comes into a small town, and rips them off.
Oh, my God, Keith, are you writing a book report?
And the mayor tries to, or sheriff tries to give him the business.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen, that is a good movie.
I've seen that film.
It's one of my favorites of Steve Martin.
You got more than a couple helpings of meatloaf in there.
Yeah. And despite that, it's good.
Yeah. He's the bus driver. Yeah.
Who is the lady who plays the lady character?
Deborah Winger. Deborah Winger.
Oh, that's right. Yeah. So that's like he caught her like like she's she's one of the best around at the time, you know.
But there weren't many great roles for women.
So Steve Martin lucked out and got her in there.
That's a good.
There's no there's not a love story between Steve Martin and Deborah Winger that you just assume would happen because we watch all these movies.
It's great.
All right.
because we watch all these movies.
It's great.
All right.
Well, I like to throw all those three movies out there to my listeners to encourage them to check them all out
and to visit at DouglasMovies on Twitter
because I always run a little poll and see of those three movies
which one people like the most. for fun. You don't,
everything's a game. You don't win or lose anything.
It's no winning or losing. You don't even have to look at it.
I don't recommend following that account.
Cause it's all just polls about people who have been on the show. Um,
if you're into that sort of thing, check it out.
But we're here to play some games.
And Frank has been tearing it up.
Yep, you got a whole point last time. That was great.
Yeah, I've won every contest
by answering one question. It's amazing.
That's right, though, now that you mention it.
Last time we did have a situation where Frank,
the first game nobody won,
and then the second game Frank ended up being the winner.
So, yeah, one point was all it took, and he pulled it off.
But it is that good.
It is going to be that kind of those kinds of games where like the more,
you know, the better off you are, but anybody can win by,
by just guessing.
That's what I'm hoping.
That's what, that's what Hamza is going to go for after.
That's what I'm going to go for too too. I'm going to play it by ear.
Don't take my strategy.
Frank, you have everything.
Frank has been taking what he does is he sits there
politely listening to what everybody's strategy is
when they come in new up against him.
And then he just uses their strategy immediately.
He's like, I listen to the show and I see how you can make Doug feel bad
and he throws you some points sometimes.
So I'm just going to try to work on that angle.
I've never been or before.
Maybe three for that.
We'll see.
Again, that's an at midnight thing.
I don't just...
I listen to your show.
Some people sucker you sometimes.
No, they can't sucker me.
All right. Just telling you what i hear all right we'll see what happens uh after this uh brief break we'll be right back no
flipping we're back and the first game we're gonna play today is i stand by that ad by the way
oh you do yeah i think everybody should just drop everything and
do it ad said to do yeah whatever the call to action was pause this go do that rewind to it
if you have to but just go do that thing right now and then come back to us because there's no reason
if you wait till the end of the show,
you're just not going to have the enthusiasm you have right now for it.
I just did it now in my life. Improved, right? All right.
Well, thank you for,
thank you for admitting that you're sitting there with an open computer.
You know, you can't cheat during these games.
The listeners are trusting everybody involved.
Actually, they don't trust people.
They're very worried that cheating is going on.
So, you know, it's another reason why Frank is so quiet.
If he's just, right.
People go to QG.
I don't know how to open extra windows, so I can't do that.
All right, here we go.
This game is called How Long Is It?
I'll name a thing.
Okay.
Like a movie or like an object?
Oh, you'll see what it is.
Okay.
Is the movie, that's what she said.
Whenever I, I don't think there is Is the movie. That's what she said. Whenever I, I'm sorry.
I don't think there is a movie called.
That's what she said.
You don't know that.
I'm pretty sure they haven't done it yet, but maybe they do.
That's a great title for a movie.
Why haven't they done it?
I don't know why they haven't done it yet.
Cause it sounds like a lot of great parts for men in that movie.
Finally.
I don't know why they wouldn't make it.
All right.
So how long is it?
I'll name a thing.
You all guess how long it is closest without going over.
Price is Right style will be the winner.
I don't care what order you guess in, just feel
it however you're feeling it.
It always involves
Tom Hanks this game for some reason.
I'd say to the writers, you know, how about
any other trivia about anybody
else? And they're always like,
it's Tom Hanks or nothing, Doug.
And I go, okay, well,
it's a good thing you only
exist in my mind,
because I would fire you.
Tom Hanks once appeared in a movie called Elvis Has Left the Building.
False.
It's true.
Shit.
He was already.
Yeah.
Next year we'll see the release of Untitled Elvis Presley Project,
in which he plays Colonel Parker for director Baz Luhrmann.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
So here's the question.
How long in years and months has it
been between the release
of the
first Elvis movie that Tom
Hanks was in and the more
current
I dare say
about to be released?
30.
Wow.
30 years you're saying?
30 years. Frank, you're saying? Keith is going with 30 years.
Frank, please, after you.
I don't want to be sexist.
I'm going to go with
40 years.
That's a good answer, too.
I'm going to go with $1.
Smart.
I was going to go with 25
wait but you said without going over
the closest one without going over
you don't want to go over so like the equivalent of
this $1 would be like one day
one year one minute
one minute one second
thank you she's just really making a point
with that one minute right
alright
okay so that's your final answer hamza yes can i change mine based
on other people's stuff sorry it's structured please well i'm not gonna go too but okay i'll
stick with 30 minutes 30 years 30 years i want to hear i want to hear what you want to change it to
and then i'll decide okay based on your laughter your laughter, I'm going to stick with 30 minutes.
I've never heard of Tom Hanks doing this movie. That's why I think it is
longer and closer.
That's my thinking
too, is that maybe it was an early
Tom Hanks film. I'll stick
with 30 years. Like Dungeons
and Dragons, right? Which was
from the 70s that he was in?
What were you thinking about changing it to, Keith?
I don't know.
I think I would have gotten closer to 40,
but there's something in your voice, and I could be wrong,
that's telling me, don't fuck this up, Keith.
You already have it.
So I'm sticking with 30.
Don't mess this up, Keith.
You've already lost it by a lot.
Shit. Yeah. I think that Tom Hanks, I think the first one, Elvis, Don't mess this up, Keith. You've already lost it by a lot.
Shit.
Yeah.
I think that Tom Hanks, I think the first one when Elvis is left the building,
he plays like a bunch of different people pop up as Elvis,
and he's like mailbox Elvis. So I imagine his stupid face popping out of a mailbox.
But it felt like Tom Hanks doing somebody
a favor. You know, he's a special
cameo. And then
this new one is coming out in
supposed to come out in June
of 2022.
The first
movie came out in August of 2004.
So that brings it to 17
years and nine months.
Our winner of the game. Oh my god. so that brings it to 17 years and 9 months Hemda is our winner
yay
I'm so excited
oh my god
this is the best day of my life
what
I'm curious about this movie like who made it
I don't remember it I don't remember
hearing about it or anything
well sometimes Frank what happens is
I get tired of the same person winning week after week.
So I make up a movie.
I make up a movie.
I believe you in the movie, but you've actually just made me curious about the whole story.
I'm very curious about it as well.
I learned about it for the first time recently,
and I do want to see it.
I feel like I'm a Tom Hanks completist.
I think I've seen every movie he's done except for the one where it's some
sort of cult and Hermione's in it from Harry Potter.
The Circle.
Oh, that one I've seen, yeah.
You saw The Circle?
I have seen it.
It's terrible.
It's, you know what, it's, I wouldn't call it terrible.
It's kind of just not that great, but it just kind of,
you watch it and then it doesn't leave you with anything.
That was my memory of it.
That sounds great.
Better or worse than Larry Crown? You i you know what i like larry crown
i did like you know maybe that's like a little it's a middle it's a middle-aged people movie i
go for that kind of stuff you ever been on a scooter doug it's awesome i'm on one right
now i'm outside in fact, doing this podcast.
And actually, the other movie I saw this week was the one of the newer Tom Hanks films, Greyhound, which was one another one.
I would have recommended if I hadn't talked about Jerry.
Look at that. He knows he's not coming back next week. He's getting all.
He's like, I can say whatever I want i got a big mouth now that i have a point
i know that i i that was really controversial of me to bring up that i like that other time
well but what about have you seen this other one frank the news of the world
that one i want to see but i that's the one i haven't seen. But The Greyhound was on Apple TV as well, so I watched that.
Okay.
Yeah, News of the World I think is going to be intense because, you know,
it's Paul Greengrass.
Right, right.
Yeah, I'm very interested in seeing that, but I haven't seen it yet.
Yeah.
I saw a few minutes of it one night, but, like,
he plays a guy who reads news stories to people.
He travels from town to town and reads everybody what's going on in the news.
And he reads newspaper by candlelight.
It's really not an easy job.
No, he was like the Internet of the Old West.
Yeah, yeah.
You just had to go, hey, the Internet's coming by the saloon tonight let's go
down there toss a few back and find out what's going on in in the big city do you guys take
do you guys ever take umbridge to the fact that like you're you're on the streaming service that
you pay for and then they tell you you can see news of the world for 30 dollars yeah i you know
i think there's a special place for a box you can check if you take Umbridge and they will, um,
they'll send you more Umbridge every month.
Unsubscribe from Umbridge's.
Oh, so that's like on Amazon. You have to pay for that.
If you want to watch that. Yeah oh okay uh yeah that sucks that's
um that's what's happening right now with a movie on disney plus that i don't want to see anyway so
it's worked out okay that ray on movie my my brother did and he's like i'm paying for disney
now this is 30 and i guess and it's for people with families i guess and you feel like you're
cheating the system but i'm not i'll never know But if they can just wait, if they can watch the million hours of other crap that's on there
and just wait a little while, like Mulan, I just waited until it became free,
and I'm still not watching it, but at least I know it's free.
Oh, that's a country song, I think.
At least I know it's free. Oh, that's a country song, I think. Please, Dad, no.
It's free.
All right.
So that was a great job on the part of Hamda.
And everybody else is here and ready to continue the fight.
And we'll do that after another quick commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Here we go.
We're back. Here we go.
We're back, and we have one more game to play,
and this one is going to determine.
Now, I haven't even asked.
This is kind of rude, I think, but let me ask Keith and the girl.
Their age.
Hamda and Keith.
If either of you were to prevail today, Hamda's already, she already gets to go first in the next game so she's already uh in a great position if either one of you win today over tv's frank
will you be able to come back next week at this same time uh one second i'm talking to my
girlfriend hi we i gotta cancel next week, hanging out.
Oh, wow, the confidence on Keith is just incredible.
He just picked up his phone and canceled his girlfriend's plans for next Sunday.
Any chance you're going to see her between now and then?
Seems weird that it's a week away before your next encounter with your girlfriend.
Well, this is awkward because now I have plans with his girlfriend. a second i didn't even see you pick up a phone you're so good at it
i love and it was very accurate how it was just a given that i'd be available to come back next
week well just because i know now you're you're clearing your schedule out for the whole year
because you're an optimist and you love to uh you love to come back each week and tell people
about which movie they should go see i do enjoy that yeah i mean is it going to be a relief to
you next week to not have to uh come up with i i don't know it's it it might
take some uh i might have a healing process to go through yeah he's gonna call whoever wins and
says please just recommend this movie that's all i ask i need this out there he still wants to be
heard he needs this to be heard he doesn't care about the rest of it. That's all we all want is just to be heard.
Okay, so Hamilton
won that
game, so you get
to go first.
There's this one game that I like
to play that I basically just
it's the same game, but I always
give it a new name
dress it up a little bit with a new name
and so this time I'm calling
it Jobs Jobs
Jobs
and
I will
be making
a statement about a movie
do you now have a pen and paper and I just wrote that down
Jobs Jobs Jobs
I think it'll help you to just glance at that a statement about a movie. Do you not have a pen and paper and I just wrote that down? Jobs, jobs, jobs?
I think it'll help you to just glance at that just to
remember
how important the word
jobs is in this particular
game. Now, I'm going to
name a couple of movies
and from this point forward,
any information that you offer up about
those movies is going to help the other two players.
You might want to, because the game is going to be about very specific details.
Oh, that's perfect, because I'm going to be no help.
Great.
Yeah.
Okay.
So what we have is there is a movie called The Italian Job.
True.
2003.
Yes.
And there is another movie called The Italian Job. True. 2003. Yes. And there's another movie called The Bank Job in 2008.
And those movies have some things that are different about them and some things that are similar.
Okay.
So I will name a fact and then you tell me if it applies to Italian job or bank job or both.
So it's Italian, bank
or both.
And we just shout it out?
No, it's me.
Shit!
He keeps trying to take my spot.
The show is called Keith and the Girl.
You got this. Sit back.
Alright. I didn't watch either of them
so feel good about that the
rest of the contestants okay all right and uh if you miss then then it goes to frank
sorry keith we're going out that's all right yeah then it goes to frank and uh frank misses
keith you get the gimme point because there's only three choices.
Oh, let me write that down.
Yeah.
So that's how somebody
can luck into a win.
I'm not looking at anyone specific,
Frank.
But yeah, that can be helpful.
So it can be anybody's
game.
Very excited about this.
And here you go, Hamda.
You ready?
Yes.
Italian job, bank job, or both.
Has Mick Jagger appearing in a cameo?
Jagger appearing in a cameo?
I'm going to say
that that's not
a very Italian job, Mick Jagger,
so I'm going to go with Bank.
That's your final
answer, Bank? I'm only Bank?
Yes.
Yes, yes, and yes?
That is correct.
You are on the board
right out of the gate wow dominating commanding lead
dominating already this is amazing so excited i can see keith sweating over there
he sweat his sleeves off it's disgusting oh look at keith sweat
i get it i didn't know it was a music show Yeah. Oh, look at Keith Sweat.
I get it. I know it's a music show.
So close music is what I meant to say.
OK, so. You're on the board, Hamda, and that means Frank gets to go first on this next fact.
By the way, I remember years ago I called one of those
900 numbers. I'm like, hi, I'm Keith.
I'm like, Keith's sweat. I'm like, what?
Okay, sure. Can we whack it?
Wow.
Wow.
Just a little porn trivia.
Is what Keith said help me in my
answer?
Is it an Italian job?
Is it a bank job?
That was the 900 number Italian job job keith that's not the jobs
we're talking about okay okay i was like i wish neither were an option because these job movies
neither one of them have there's no actual uh uh work hand jobs in either of them oh okay um
don't give it away apologies for those that's a weird form of
spoilers just saying we didn't know hand job in that movie oh okay i didn't expect one but now
i'm bummed out now i'm really bummed out yeah why are you telling me what i didn't know
um okay dragons okay frank here we go.
The movie is one hour and 51 minutes long.
Job, Italian, or bank, or both.
Mocking, bird.
Which one of those is an hour and 51 minutes long?
Is that the question?
Or both?
One or the other or both. One or the other or both.
Wow.
This is where I access my incredible skill for guessing.
And I'm just going to randomly say that randomly say for no reason that the answer is the bank job.
It was a fourth option. The hand job. Sorry.
You know what? That would if a hand job that that's an hour and 51 minutes, that's the most implausible movie I've ever seen, at least from my point of view.
I've ever seen, at least from my point of view.
OK, so that's incorrect.
I thought as much.
So Keith, see what happens.
It's coming right at you. It doesn't it doesn't help me because the Italian job, I assume that's the long that's long.
But but I already said bank job.
This is a totally different question, though.
No, there's only one answer left.
We're down to the, we've moved on to the next question.
Right.
And so there's two answers left.
Right.
So the bank job was already said.
I think, I think Italian job.
But, uh, to this stupid question even come up, it must be both.
And I know you have a thing for how long things are.
That's why you would look this up.
I'm going to go with both.
Final answer.
Both is correct.
Thank you.
You figured me out.
Thank you.
That was a good, that was a really good guess. As opposed to my guess, that was a good uh i i i that was a really good as opposed to my guess that
was a good guess because you know what i bet most movies are an hour and 51 minutes that way they
give people time to get out and then come back at two hours for the next showing it's a good you
know it's a good length for like a drama you know i still like the comedy to stick more to the
like 90 minute mark but um yeah one hour 51 minutes i just you know i'm just looking for
coincidences and similarities and uh strangely enough they're both uh both listed as that
on imdb so now chemda's on the board, and so is Keith.
And we go back to Chemda.
See, you guys are teaming up on poor Frank.
Yeah.
That's how he won the first time.
He had the other mad with him.
And they totally went mads on somebody.
But he's been running away with it ever since.
And, uh...
Chemda?
Yes?
Directed by a man.
Wait, so we can't...
The answers could be repeated, right?
Yes.
It's starting over.
We're reaching out the same three again.
So now you get to choose first between those three.
The Italian job, the bank job are both directed by a man.
Okay.
First, I'd like to apologize to Keith for telling me he wasn't listening when I wasn't listening.
And then I feel like this is a trick because
everything's directed by men, right?
I love how the two of you don't go to bed angry.
We've got to do a Keith and the Girls show tomorrow.
We've got to make sure things are copacetic.
Yeah, I think this is a trick.
I wonder if this is one of the few that a woman did or something.
So, but I still, I'm still going to say both.
You're going to, you're saying the Italian job and the bank job are both directed by men.
Yeah, bad feminist said yes.
And you would be correct of course
oh my god this is the best day of my life that was that was a uh that was a trick question and
that it wasn't a trick question yes yes thank you for understanding frank yeah those can be the
craziest tricks of them all.
So Frank gets to go first on this next one.
Are you ready?
Yep.
There's a character in this movie named Skinny Pete.
And is it the Italian job or the bank job or both?
Maybe both movies might have Skinny Pete in it.
Skinny Pete is the character.
I'm going to say.
I don't know why I'm hesitating like this takes deduction or something.
Five is three and six years of change.
So I'm just going to once again throw a dart blindly at the board and say
the Italian job.
You're going to do an Italian dart? Yep. And you know what they say
about Italian darts? No, what? Oh, God.
When they're
in Venice, they like to ride around
in a gondola
the answer is
Italian Job that is correct
oh wow
once again blindly wandering into
a correct answer
Frank is on the board
we've got 73 questions left
he had to watch both these movies
so he's getting into it
Keith gets to go first on this next one
lagging behind
Hemda who has
two points
and in life
yeah yeah
this movie
is rated R.
Is it Bank Job, Italian Job, or both?
I saw the Italian Job.
I never heard of the Bank Job.
The Bank Job is rated R.
That's your final answer?
Final answer.
That is correct.
Yeah!
I'm shocked.
Fuck yeah.
Keith has two points.
Keith has two points.
Thank you.
Wow.
Hamda?
Yes, I would have guessed totally wrong on that one,
but I shouldn't have said that because right now
it looks like I'm a genius.
Yeah, just keep riding that
genius wave.
Telling Job, Bank Job, or Both
is a
remake.
Oh, boy.
Okay, what if it's a remake to me?
Every movie's a remake to
Hannibal.
It's all new to
me. Okay.
Italian Dropback, it's a
remake.
So at least one of them is a remake.
I am sweating. Oh my god, I'm gonna
have to take a shower today.
Remember when it was my favorite day?
Okay. Now I lost
the question. What was the question?
I'm so nervous.
The question is, which one of these movies takes place on International Women's Day?
A remake.
Either of them or both of them are a remake.
Okay.
I want to say they wouldn't
remake something called
The Italian Job
unless they wanted to
make right by something, which
could be.
Are they both? Have we not
come up with a new idea at all in the
past few years?
Could that be?
2003 and 2008? So
they didn't have time, but then it has
to be one of them. Oh my God.
The Italian job is older.
So I'm going Italian
job.
That is correct. Italian job is a
remake. Can we count that because of the logic
was no logic?
Can we check our work?
We're like, who you copy of this?
Is that what we do?
Take away a logic point.
But I thought it sounded good to me.
So now Hamda has three.
Wow. Yeah.
Frank, Frank, still come back just because he's got less than anybody
doesn't mean
guys I just want you to know
that if I win this
I haven't spoken to my mother in years
I'm calling my mother to let her know
she is going to be so
excited
I'm going to call that 900 number from 25 years
ago
all right Frank are you ready?
I hope so.
Okay, me too.
This movie
has actresses
wearing merkins
in one scene.
There's a merkin-filled
scene.
Is it okay for me to ask what a Merkin is?
Yes. That's a smart way to play it, Frank.
Yeah.
Is it a
toupee for the poon?
It is. I was gonna
say, does anybody have a real
gentle way of putting it?
Really? Because that made me
cringe. That was a gentle way
oh my god so it's covering the poondog okay apparently there's a scene where women uh were
um you know seen undressed from the front and they uh they were uh according to the director
too shaven they weren't appropriate for the film.
And so they wore Merkins.
Those little...
I would like to reveal that I am very appropriate
for whatever movie this is.
Merkins are also known as the world's happiest toupees.
So who's up? it it's me right
Frank and what do you think
which one
I'm gonna say
it would have been the Italian job
wrong
that is incorrect
it's the bank job I win
it's rated R think
and you didn't see Angelina Jolie's or whoever's
pussy in the Italian job hello people I win. It's rated R. Think. And you didn't see Angelina Jolie's or whoever's pussy in the Italian job.
Hello, people.
I win. Say it, Doug.
I win.
You're tied with Hamda currently.
I misremembered. I thought it was
the Italian job that was R-rated, but that was
my screw up.
That sort of thing can happen. I could have been nicer, Frank. Oh, that was R-rated, but that was my screw-up. That sort of thing can happen.
I could have been nicer, Frank. Oh, that was
silly, and I apologize.
I could always say that about you,
Keith.
Okay, so
it's back to Chemda.
And here
is your
fact.
It is based on a true story.
Oh, okay.
So based on a true story, the bank job,
the bank job I would imagine would be one that would be based on a true story, the bank job, the bank job, I would imagine, would be one that would be based on a true story.
The Italian job, I don't think they would call it that unless that's what they called it themselves based on a true story.
I'm going to say the bank job.
You're going bank job is a true story.
Oh, Lord.
Just moments after saying that Italian job is a true story. Oh, Lord. Just moments after saying that Italian Job
is a remake.
So,
are you trying to say a remake
can't be a true story?
I'm saying
all of that, yes. I am really taking a
stance here on a lot of things, yes.
All right, well, I appreciate you
being able to
withstand the extra grilling.
I just wanted to be clear because you are correct.
Is life happening right now? Is this real? Is the simulation breaking?
Keith could catch up, but Frank's right there in the way.
Well, it makes sense that answer,, because I think in real life,
banks are robbed
much more often than Italians.
Okay.
I don't have the statistics on that, but we're going to
go with what you said. I was taking it in, yeah.
I think banks have more of a
target on their back than Italians,
because you never know how much a person
has, but banks have always got money.
Here we go for your next one, Frank.
Which movie are both stars?
Jason Statham.
Wow, that's actually kind of tough
because either one really... Oh, it can be both, right?
It can be both. Okay, I'm going to say both. You're going both because that's
correct, Frank. Fuck! Wow.
Jason Statham, he's... Hey, sore winner, you're two points ahead of Frank.
Don't worry about it. Sorry, that was a soundboard that I have.
This is like at this point, I'm just like a candidate that's going to the convention, even though he can't get enough delegates.
But when I burp and fart at the same time, it sounds like an F-bomb.
So just warning about that.
OK, so. bomb. So just warning about that.
Okay,
so...
You know,
it's weird. I'm getting more points in this game than I've ever gotten in this game yet.
Oh, okay.
You're making them stronger.
You are.
Alright, so...
Keith?
Yes.
Here's your chance to catch up to Chemda.
Can I just pick one now and my points are doubled if I'm right?
No.
Okay, that's fair.
Okay, I'm ready.
I like that question, though.
It's a good question.
Which one had the tagline,
it's not about the money
It's about the money
Yeah it doesn't get any deeper than that
I saw a tie in job
I don't remember that tagline
Bank obviously has a lot to do with money
They remind me about that I'm going the bank job remember that tagline. Bank obviously has a lot to do with money.
They remind me about that.
I'm going the bank job.
Final answer.
Because it can't be both, right?
What?
The Italian job would be more sassy.
For the win, Hamda.
Oh, it's
mine, right? I would say
the Italian job would have more
sassy lines like that. That is the
correct answer. You
took down
two trivia giants.
This is the best
international women's month of
all time.
This is amazing. This is, best international women's month of all time. This is amazing.
This is, I mean, the most unexpected.
We get to have a speech now, right?
This is the most unexpected.
I feel like the lesson here is you are all wasting your time
watching every single movie.
You should just watch Gilmore Girls over and over again.
Boy, me and Frank were the idiots.
I think that not only did I win today,
but you guys lost bigger than you should have
because this should not have happened.
And wow, you know, wow.
That's all. Thank you. Thank you.
This next spliff is for you, Doug.
I appreciate it.
That was a very honest and heartfelt speech.
Thank you for that. Frank, your, your run has ended.
It's been quite a run. I must say.
Such a good time. We appreciate you being here. One,
one last plug for the road.
What can people do to see you and hear you um they can they can uh um uh watch traceable you and i do our monthly
show um the mads are back our live movie riffing show on on two next one is on tuesday april 13th an evening of short films uh ten dollars just go
to eventbrite.com and you can type in the mads and you'll get all the info you need
that's perfect perfect way to end your time with us here. It was. And it's, it's, it's been, uh,
and I'm very happy for him to, I must say.
Yeah. And let's not say goodbye, Frank.
Let's just say we'll see each other down the road.
We will.
I saw that movie. Nomadland.
Yes. There's no more points to be got.
Oh, okay.
See, I saw it for no reason.
You guys missed it a few shows ago. I did a whole essay about that one.
Yeah, he described it. And, you know, somehow he made it like even less interesting than a woman wandering around in the desert.
Right. It's beautifully plotless.
It's beautifully plotless.
No, I thought Frank did a great job.
I hadn't seen it yet.
Watched it after his recommendation.
And it was a beautiful recommendation and a beautiful film.
Yes.
I like it. Highly recommended.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Keith, what are you doing next Sunday?
Are you going to just be pacing around?
Oh, shit, right.
Angry that you're not here.
Hi, baby, it's me.
Let's put the planes back on.
You're more important than this dumb show.
Okay, bye.
Click.
Yeah, I'll just do what I do.
Get some points with the girlfriend.
Right.
Well, I love you, Doug.
Hemda and I have been on, of course, Getting Doug With High.
You were on Keith and the Girls' Silent Trailers, and you're fantastic.
Can I just win, buddy?
I appreciate the last minute, you know, as we in the sports world like to call it, Hail
Mary.
Right.
I'm sorry, but it just is.
Okay. Fair's fair. Well sorry, but it just is fair.
Well, anyway, it was it was an honor.
And congratulations.
You did it. You've earned it.
You deserve it. Check.
Yeah, I know.
OK, we're here back next week.
Camden, do you have like,
you know, side your projects that don't involve Keith that you can promote?
Oh, God, I do so much with Keith.
I will be shoving it in his face one way or another on every episode of Keith and the Girl for at least how many questions were there?
Like 10, at least 10 episodes.
I do do this thing called OMat club which omat stands for
one minute at a time and uh i i lead that uh it's a a project where you do eight exercises that are
all one minute in length and uh i put it together and i'm a big fan of it and does it like believe
it or not it calms me down so if you thought this was too much but yeah i love omet all our information is at keithandthegirl.com or keithandthegirl on every
platform and keithandthegirl.com slash omet is that program that i was talking to you about
just now before it'd be funny if when you come back next week you and i see if we can get through the whole episode without ever mentioning Keith at all.
I like that.
It's a challenge.
It'll be tough.
It'll be tough because it's very important to both of us.
And thank you to everybody for being here. Oh, my plug is that my April 20th show, you can get tickets at RushTix.com.
And I close every episode with a closing line from a motion picture.
So I'll say that right after I say thanks once again to Keith and the girl,
Kemda and Keith Malley.
That sounds like you're married. They're not.
And TV's Frank. Oh, that sounds like he're married. They're not. And TV's Frank.
Oh, that sounds like he's married. He's not.
To TV.
He's married to his TV.
As always,
I'm not wearing any pants.
Film at 11.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold,
his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!