Doug Loves Movies - Chris Cubas, Larry Zerner and Rob Little guest
Episode Date: October 13, 2017Live from the Alamo Drafthouse in Kansas City, Doug welcomes Chris Cubas, Larry Zerner and Rob Little to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice... at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth,
there's still not one that he won't see.
Because Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
Can I get a little more hotness on my mic?
My name is Doug and it's not hot enough yet. Oh, there it is.
And I love movies.
Yes, it's not hot enough.
Coming to you for the first time from the Alamo Drafthouse in Kansas City.
The Alamo Drafthouse in Kansas City!
I love that you guys are such fans of this show that only a lone couple of weirdos bought seats in the back rows.
Like, everyone's like, I want my name tag to be chosen.
I can't be sitting all the way up there.
But I am going to encourage my guests to go all up in y'all
and find the best name tags.
It's Thursday, October 12, 2017.
Speaking of name tags, what do you got?
Let me eyeball these suckers.
Okay.
Let me eyeball these suckers.
Okay.
There's a, I believe, I'm guessing it's like a Gwyneth Paltrow head popping out of that box.
And what's your name, dude?
Devin.
Devin.
You change seven to Devin, and it's on a box.
And the head pops out like a fucking Muppet.
I thought it was a Janice from the Muppet movie riff
and from all Muppet things.
I can't see most of these name tags.
There's a alien over here that's pretty cool.
It's a little inflatable green alien
and then the poster for the movie Alien.
What's your name?
Haley.
So you went Haley-ian?
I like it.
I saw Scott Magnolia's in the lobby.
He showed that off to me,
and I said, get Shelby the juice.
Holy shit, Nate's here.
Did you win the other day in St. Louis?
Yeah, I don't want to get chosen.
Oh, you don't want to get chosen?
You just want to carry that fucking thing around?
That's crazy. But, you don't want to get chosen? You just want to carry that fucking thing around? That's crazy.
But thank you for bringing it.
It's an amazing billboard, corkboard, or whatever you call it,
that's got Nate Loves Movies on it,
and then also tons of receipts from the movies he's seen.
Yeah.
That's some OCD movie nerd shit right there.
But thank you to everybody for bringing your name tags.
And since he won the prize bag,
he says he's going to stay out of...
Don't pick this one, you guys.
This big board over here with Nate on it.
All right.
Doug plugs.
I got a few things to plug, and I wrote them down,
and they're in the prize bag, so I'm going to pull it out.
Love the trailer for that.
I mean, I didn't watch it, but I heard the laughter for the trailer
for the, what's that movie called, Three Billboards Outside of?
Out of where?
This is going to be a great title for future games on the show where I can be a real stickler, but I still don't know it now. Out of where? This is going to be a great title for future games on the show
where I can be a real stickler.
But I still don't know it now.
Out of what city?
Ebbing, Missouri.
Ebbing, Missouri?
Oh, my goodness.
How far is that from here?
Nobody knows?
Is it fictional?
Is it made up?
All right.
For the listeners, they just showed the
R-rated trailer for that movie, and that
Francis McDormand
has got a real mouth on her.
Character seems like if that mom
in Almost Famous was shooting
for the hardest R you
could get.
What else do I have to say about Oh, so we're at the alamo draft house now because uh
this this is our attempt to have a uh show that's recorded properly uh
there's been i hope the kansas city curse is uh lifted because I do not like KCC.
Yeah, you know me.
And hopefully this will get recorded.
I think we're in good hands here at the Alamo Drafthouse downtown.
And I saw Blade Runner here today, the 2049.
And I'm going to see something else tomorrow probably.
So it's a real nice little movie vacation for me while I'm here.
And, yeah, Doug Plugs.
Doug Plugs Movies is coming to Atlanta this Sunday at 420.
The Zombie Barn is closed, so we're in a new spot.
It's called Variety Playhouse.
But don't be surprised if some walkers show up.
Tuesday, October 17th.
Was that subtle or did that sound natural?
Tuesday, October 17th.
Douglas Movies is back at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles.
And I'm doing stand-up and a podcast taping
at Good Nights in Raleigh on October 19th and 21st,
and just added Doug Loves Movies at Wise Guys
at the Gateway in Salt Lake City, Utah.
All my dates and deets can be found at douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah!
I can't tell you how satisfying that is.
More and more, I'm understanding why cult leaders do what they do.
Feels very powerful.
But thank you for doing that
and for being here.
It was seven o'clock.
Is that too early
or is that just right?
Okay, mixed reaction to that.
So we might adjust that next time.
Let's look in the prize bag.
I brought, you know,
it's not the great,
I had to pack it and fly with it
or get it along the way.
For instance, they gave me some gummy bears
on the flight.
Yeah, I resisted
the urge to eat them and brought them to you.
Breakfast buffet at the hotel has a nice little box of Cheerios
we got a getting Doug with high
t-shirt
blue card from getting Doug with high
and thank you
there's a nice stoner couple that
wanted to get high with me before the show
give me edibles but I was talking to my
mom in the parking lot,
and so I was like, hey, I don't want to be rude,
but could you give me weed later?
So thank you.
Thank you to them.
A Peacemaker pipe.
This one is clean, hasn't been used.
And a copy of my CD
promotional tool.
I guess these are
from Audible, but I guess they're
earbuds. I don't know.
I got so many earbuds. I don't know why I have
so many of them because I hate them.
Does anybody have the problem where you put
just your standard earbuds in your ears
and they just
slowly move out and then fall out,
like they don't stay in?
Yeah, that's fucked.
We should get a support group together.
Because I really thought I was alone on that,
because I see people wearing them all the time.
They seem so happy.
And I'm walking around the airport like big clunky,
cover your whole ear headphones
just because it's so much
better for me.
But I look like a guy
in Star Wars.
All right.
So let's get my guests out here
because they brought stuff
for the prize bag too
and we can't wait
to see what it is.
Please give a big warm welcome
to Larry Zerner, Rob Little, and Chris Cubis.
I need to seat by the table.
Oh, my God.
Because I'm drinking.
Oh, yeah.
That's good that they...
I am still fucked up.
They gave one of us a table.
They put a little table there.
I love it.
And also, it's just so cute how these little tables...
I guess they use them for when they have too many people
and they need an extra table or something.
But they still have the pen holder so you can...
Oh, I'm going to order drinks.
You can write down some orders.
But, I mean, we can just say what we want into the microphone.
That's true.
PBR with a line, please.
Oh, there you go.
Does anybody else need anything?
I'm doing double jacks and diets, and I'm already on my third one.
Oh, well, good for you.
And I just flew in from Ensenada, Mexico last night. So, fuck yeah. Well, let's introduce you properly, dude, because I like to give each of the guests
their own individual applause and conversation.
Joining us for the first time on this program, it's Rob Little, everybody.
Hey!
Thank you.
This is awesome.
Thanks, Doug.
Thank you.
This is awesome.
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, I saw that you were doing headlining this weekend at the improv here in Kansas City over in that fake mall town.
Zonarosa.
I love to siesta there. No, that's not the right word.
Those places feel like where they train Russian spies to pretend to be American.
It's like a fake town where you go, I love Bruce Springsteen.
Yeah, or it's just like a back lot where they just didn't try hard enough to decorate it.
Do they even have Latinos there?
It feels very Spanish, but it's not at all.
Yeah, I don't know, dude.
Is there any Latinos out there tonight?
Oh, shit.
Well, three.
Yeah.
Is Zona Rosa your jam?
Well, for everybody else, my name's Rob Little,
but for you three, it's Roberto Pequeño.
Hola.
I can't believe that just happened so so go see him out at the improv this weekend and then uh also look at him right now
and um what do you uh what how do you feel about movie trivia? We talked about it a little bit out at the bar.
I think I'm going to be fucked.
I don't think I'm going to do well at all.
I like watching movies, and I like more eating.
That's kind of what everybody else is doing.
So I don't know.
I think I'm going to be better than what I think I am.
Does that make sense?
We'll find out.
All right.
We're going to learn soon enough.
Also joining us tonight and tomorrow
night, for reasons I'll get into in a second,
it's Larry Zerner!
Hi, everyone.
Dare I say star
of...
Much like I say T.J. Miller
is the star of Deadpool, LarryJ. Miller is the star of Deadpool.
Larry Zerner is the star of Friday the 13th Part 3D as Shelly.
Yes.
The immortal, like, you know, of course, the character that I can relate to
because he's the one that whips out the pot early on.
No, I'm the one who doesn't eat the pot.
Oh.
He won't eat the pot.
Now that you're reminding me, I hate your character.
So should I leave?
No, because tomorrow night we are going to ask you to return once again
for the Benson movie interruption of Friday the 13th 3 on Friday the 13th of October.
Yeah.
Yeah. That'll be fun.
I'm hoping there'll be people
in the audience that had no idea we're gonna
talk through the whole thing.
They just are excited to see that movie
on that date. Okay.
Because if it's not sold out, it's damn close
near to it. And a little tip for
anybody buying tickets to Alamo Drafthouse,
some seats say handicapped,
but you can buy those anyway.
You know what I mean?
Buy them at the last minute so the handicapped have a reasonable chance to get them.
But there's no reason to let a seat go completely empty because no handicapped people want to come.
True.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like handicapped bathrooms, you know?
I'll jump out of there as soon as somebody shows up.
A couple of wheels outside the stall, I'll jump out of there as soon as somebody shows up. Couple wheels outside the stall.
I am up and wiping.
As soon?
Mid-deuce?
You're out?
Yeah, because it's their stall, man.
Respect.
I'm in their spot.
It's just like how I do with people's homes.
When they arrive unexpectedly, I stop shitting and get out of there.
So thank you
for being here, Larry.
And how many times
do you think you've seen
your work in the Friday the 13th?
Because I know you've gone on
to other things.
You're not an actor anymore.
No, yeah.
I'm a lawyer now.
He's a lawyer now.
I'm an entertainment lawyer.
So a different kind of acting.
Not a good kind of lawyer.
Oh, shit.
Somebody booed you.
No, no, no.
No.
I represent the good people.
He does.
If you follow Larry on the Twitter,
he's always, I'm always happy to see
that he weighs in with his legal opinion
on show business issues.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Currently, you're a little worried for Rose McGowan that she's breaking her, what do you
call it?
Confidentiality.
NDA.
NDA with Weinstein because she got a settlement.
Yeah.
But everybody knows she got a settlement, so might as well hear the details.
I'll represent her for free.
Oh, okay.
Let's put that out there.
Rose McGowan.
Rose, you heard it.
If you're listening.
Oh, she's listening.
She's a fan of the podcast.
I think she's busy trending right now.
Everybody's talking about Rose.
She's off Twitter, so maybe she's listening to the podcast.
Yeah, but good for her, I say.
Good for every woman that comes forward.
Let's do this.
Let's get us all in jail.
Let's do this.
Let's get us all in jail.
Privatized prisons will blow up,
making tons of money,
putting all of us in jail.
Every man.
And then it'll be Lady Island,
just like in the beginning of Wonder Woman.
Oh, that sounds lovely, honestly. I fucking love Lady Island.
That's awesome.
I was like, I've said this before on the show, but I'll say it again.
I love how Lady Island, they invent a lasso that makes you tell the truth
when they are all cool with each other and nobody ever lies.
Like, well, just in case.
Yeah, just in case a penis shows up.
We need to do something about that.
Some dick comes down out of the clouds.
We're going to throw this lasso around them and find out some shit.
And also, thank you for all the beverages.
Oh, back up on my Tito's soda already.
What I do is I keep all the straws in so you know how many you've had.
Yes.
What I do is not be an alcoholic.
That is genius.
Whatever works.
Whatever works.
Also, that's a lie.
I'm drunk right now.
I had two beers on the plane. What's going on?
Nothing. Did I
introduce you?
Nah, I just started talking.
Thanks for coming up to Kansas City
from Austin. It's Chris Cubis, everybody.
Good to be back. Last time I Cubis, everybody. Good. It's good to be back.
Last time I was here, they were digging up the
streets talking about some magical-ass
streetcar that was never going to happen.
And now it exists.
And it's full of homeless people, so good work.
It's just a shuttle
that moves homeless people from one side of town to the
other. And on Fridays,
also drunks.
Yeah, I saw the one out here right outside this place run a yellow light.
Like the fucking train guy gunned it when it went yellow.
No, it's the...
Can we...
Like, I'm not...
Where I'm from, we don't have those.
Can you drive in that lane?
Is that our right to drive in?
Yeah, you just got to clearly get the hell out of the way
if one of those trains is coming.
But yeah, you can drive there.
Speaking of TJ Miller, it's just unstoppable.
Is that the right movie?
I forgot.
You did it.
I nailed it.
What's going on, Chris?
You know, living life, loving things.
I had a great day.
Southwest flight, empty middle seat.
Beautiful.
Oh, that is good.
The lady on the other side of the empty middle seat was like,
here's two drink coupons for Southwest.
Enjoy yourself.
So I had two beers on the plane, got in here,
saw Kingsman in an empty movie theater texting like a savage.
It was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
You should have, you know, written down on your order card,
there's a guy texting.
Like you should have seen what they would have done with you ratting yourself out.
With an arrow pointing at my face.
There's a guy texting.
This piece of shit.
I sure do love the
Alamo Drafthouse policy
I concur
If there was a single other human being in that theater
I wouldn't have done that
But the second I'm alone, shoes off, pants down
Enjoying myself
I wish
That there was no one else in the theater
When I was watching Blade Runner today
2049
I think 2049 is the running time.
2049 minutes.
It didn't work for me,
but I know people love it.
It's also underperforming at the box office,
and people are like,
why?
What's wrong?
It's a masterpiece.
And my feeling is that people found out
that it was boring.
That's true. And it'll be as good found out that it was boring. That's true.
And it'll be as good or probably it'll be better just to watch it at home someday.
Yeah.
Or on your phone.
Because when you're watching it on your phone, the soundtrack won't be like super crazy loud.
Ryan Gosling is just walking down a street.
Nothing's going on.
Nothing's about to happen.
The theater walls are shaking,
and people trying to watch a more quiet moment in Kingsman are like,
what the hell?
Was this Roger from American Dad doing that shit the whole time?
That didn't hit at all.
Fuck.
You got to keep in mind,
the audience is in a different time zone than we are.
It's a big room.
There's a little bit of a delay, yeah.
Okay.
There was a delay on my joke about the delay.
But I don't think it's you.
I think comedy
and comedies are
hard to pull off in theaters where everyone
has so much space to themselves.
You know? So much
room and so much food and
beverage.
There's a table coming down the aisle.
Are they bringing another table
down for us because they're that good
here? It's Goodfellas style through the back of the copa
Here's your table
Why does Chris get his own table
In the middle
Oh you want two tables
You greedy son of a bitch
Respect
We're going to get your shit from you soon anyway
But
As long as you're happy i'm happy thank you
this is thanks dude bag chris what'd you bring for the prize bag oh i got some dope shit i got
a couple of uh birth uh birth movies death t-shirts devin farachi has not touched them
so they're safe and then there's you're fine ladies fine, ladies. I got some Mondo Tiki's.
I got the Alien Ceramic Tiki mug
and the Gremlins Ceramic Tiki mug.
They are both very cool.
So please take them and enjoy
and fill them with delicious beverages.
That's awesome.
That's it?
Yeah, no, I brought...
Oh, shit. I brought Oh shit
I brought two
Oh shit
What's coming out of that bag?
You
That was a bold proclamation
Yeah yeah
Well that's the thing
This is my first time
I know it's your first time
But I tried to say
Just you know
Just bring whatevs
You know like
I try not to make
A big thing out of it
That's a lot of pressure
And then you went shopping
Dude I got off
You are not fucking around
I got off the plane I didn't Don't, I got off the plane. You are not fucking around. I got off the plane.
Don't look.
I got off the plane.
Get your lawyer hands off of my shit.
I've seen Wayne Brady give less stuff away.
Hey, I toured with Wayne Brady for three years.
Anyways, so.
Both of those sentences were real weird.
Hey, Larry, do you think that you became a lawyer
because your name sounds like a small child trying to say Larry Zerner,
but it comes out lawyer as said?
Liar.
Someone in the front row said what?
Yeah.
I'm glad.
I said what?
I'm so glad because I'm buzzing like hell right now.
As soon as I spit it out, I said what?
I was like, this is going to land in the moat between me and the audience.
But also, don't let anybody tell you the weed here isn't good.
So what is in that big old happy Halloween bag?
Okay, I'm originally from Michigan,
and I feel like Kansas City kind of goes through the same shit we do.
So I got you some heat, which is for your fucking gas tank,
if you ever have any issues.
Then also some windshield de-icer.
And I'm not a huge sports guy.
I'm from Detroit.
We got the highest paid guy, but nobody gives a fuck, really, for some reason.
So I got Kansas City poncho when it rains.
And then it gets cold here, right?
Yeah.
Okay, so I got, right now it's allergy season, so I got cleared in.
But when it gets cold, they got new flavors out.
Cranberry, raspberry, emergency.
And women, you get a fucking urinary tract infection, it's fucking cranberry.
Right?
That helps. Please tell me you shoplift fucking cranberry. Right? That helps.
Please tell me you shoplifted all this.
I'm not even.
Because you're like 50 bucks deep into this ride, man.
I'm way more than that.
I'll tell you fucking that.
So I want Doug to have me back.
That's why.
Still coming.
So then I got, it's Halloween, so I got candy.
Oh, that's a lot of candy.
This is like the Mary Poppins bag.
It's a $20 bag.
For a guy who only sees his kids on the weekends.
First of all, I've never been married, nor have had kids.
Then, so we get shitty snow, and it's slushy and everything, right?
If you're buying brand new shoes, you got to fucking protect them.
So I got this protector.
This shit works good.
I'm telling you.
I do it on all my shoes.
And then I got...
There's more.
Too much?
Too much?
It might be.
No, keep going.
It's my first time, Doug.
I know.
I said bring a thing.
Nobody told me.
You would have got a big laugh if you brought
any one of those items i didn't know but i got free tickets to my show this weekend
and this is for that's for four people but i brought a whole fucking packet so i think i can
get everybody in and then and then it's a movie show right it's a movie show so i got fucking movies so i picked my
three favorite movies out of the dollar bin um you can't to me this is one of the best clint
eastwood movies ever gran torino yeah good yeah best ever yeah he's a great racist and then
super racist donald trump worked on cars i it. To me, out of the three,
Men in Black 3 is the best.
You're a liar.
I bawled my fucking ass off
when it was his dad at the end.
Are you shitting me?
Very aggressive.
In the bag, very angrily.
And then, a lot of people don't know about this about me,
but I love dinosaurs, so I got walking with the dinosaurs too.
Have you seen that?
That's a good fucking gift bag.
If you love dinosaurs.
Good luck, Hollywood, trying to top that shit.
I can't believe you're giving it up, though, if you love dinosaurs.
Well, I got it.
I haven't seen it.
I already have it.
Oh, okay.
And look at all the candy.
There's Kit Kats.
There's so many.
Real talk, that's a good bet.
You didn't bring Smarties and Sweet Tarts.
You brought real candy.
There's a lot of things you've heard of.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not Smerties.
Smerties?
No, Smerties is the off-brand.
Okay.
Did you know that Hydrox actually came before Oreo?
So, uh... And I bought the bag.
Put the tickets in the bag.
And I bought the bag, Doug.
Please bring me the bag.
The bag is going to come in handy
because Chris didn't bring a bag.
What did you do with the 50 tickets that I had?
You had them sitting there a second ago.
Maybe they're in a pocket.
Maybe they're in the bag.
Yeah, the winner's definitely not going to have 50 friends.
Especially if they pick me, because I don't know how this works,
but it's definitely not me.
Yeah, but I figure a lot of people probably have plans this weekend,
but you could probably unload a lot of those
if you hang out by the door after the show. Does anybody want tickets to his show this weekend, but you know, you could probably unload a lot of those if you hang out by the door after the show.
Does anybody want tickets to his show this weekend?
That sounds like 50.
There's also a lot of really honest people
in this room, by the way. A lot of people
with their arms crossed like, I'm good.
I will never
set foot in Zona Rosa after what they did to me.
The fucking Latinos will be there.
Doug, and I know you love movies, and I just met with Disney, and I wrote an animated movie.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, so I'm just saying, fucking come out, and then I will, yeah.
So you're doing the setup here and then the punchline at the improv.
Yes. Yes.
Respect.
I like that teaser move.
All right.
I like the tease.
Let me have this thing.
That's pretty good, right?
Yeah.
Thanks, Doug.
That's insane.
I wanted to impress you.
That's terrific.
I mean, for some reason, it happens a lot where the winner goes home with a lot of stuff.
That's what I'm...
I think maybe we should give this bag to the Red Cross or something.
Doug, do you want to know the crap I brought?
Yeah, dude.
I'm putting all this shit...
Oh, okay.
I'm consolidating because somebody might have to'm putting all this shit. Oh, okay. I'm consolidating because, you know,
somebody might have to fly with all of this.
And also, Larry, I'm saving you for last
because you only brought one thing,
but it is better than everything else put together.
Please tell us what you brought.
It's a Jason bobble.
It's light powered.
I have one on my desk
at work. The body bobble
is not the head. It's a body bobble. He does like a
little dance, like almost like a
quicker version of Axl
Rose's dance.
That's right. Yeah.
That's right. Where do we go? So there you go.
Welcome to the jungle.
Where do we go?
Sweet
child. Alright, so pass that
bobblehead down here, please. And everybody
gets to touch it. Chris doesn't want to.
I'm good. Alright. Touch it for luck.
It's good. It's got a good feel.
All right. So all that's in the
prize bag. Somebody's going to win all that stuff tonight.
Couple of quick questions for
y'all though first.
We'll start with Chris because he knows what's coming.
Yeah. What was the last movie
you saw? I guess it was Kingsman. We already know the answer.
It would be Kingsman for sure. I've been on a run though.
I finally saw the new
It the other day.
I really liked it.
I didn't like the fact
that the black kid
was the most afterthoughty character.
Like,
the black kid's not even
part of that group
for like three quarters
of the movie.
Yeah, and...
He shows up eventually
with a cattle gun
like he's in fucking
No Country for Old Men.
And then he kind of leaves again.
Well, he does get his own storyline there
of how he doesn't want to use the gun.
Yeah, that storyline no one cares about
and doesn't come back.
Yeah, and just his whole thing is just sort of, yeah,
he's just sort of rogue
and just decides to join the group at one point.
Yeah, he needs help in the rock fight or whatever.
It's good.
Don't get me wrong.
I really enjoyed it.
I had a lot of fun watching it.
That is reason enough to see it.
It's like, it's fucking kids having a rock fight.
Yeah, yeah.
I was into it.
Like, that is so violent.
It's very, it's very.
It's so horrible.
Very violent.
And then today I saw The Kingsman, which was super fun.
And actually yesterday I saw Wind River, which is not fun. It's very good Wind River which is not fun.
It's very good but it is not fun.
It's very dramatic.
There is a
very uncomfortable
rape scene in that movie.
As opposed to
As opposed to
Harvey Weinstein's
dressing room.
Like you're watching
and you're going like,
oh no,
this rape is not good.
Yeah.
Usually it moves
the story forward
in a way
that's very helpful.
My point was being
was like I didn't know
it was coming
and it is jarring
and intense
as,
nope,
can't say it.
I gotta tell you.
As rape is.
I gotta say. Unexpected and very jarring. I was on can't say it i gotta tell you as rape is i gotta say unexpected and
very jarred i was on the fence about seeing that movie yeah and now i'm not gonna see it that's
i get it that's all i need to know to just be like oh that's an experience i don't you don't
have you don't need uh that being said it is a very good movie everyone and it's very good all
right well we'll see i i enjoyed it to a point and then I immediately stopped enjoying it if it gets nominated for awards then I'll fucking
soldier through it
let's make an action movie and then hey
let's put Manchester by the Sea into this action movie
it's like that kind of movie
so you've seen it?
what he means is that Casey Affleck is a rapist
but then also
I'm sorry
Kingsman was super fun it's too long I'm trying Kingsman was super fun
it's too long
I'm trying to change the subject
it's too long
the golden circle
Kingsman the golden circle
full title
it's super fun
it's too long
it's two hours
and like almost
25 minutes
or something
it's too long
but
I am
very much in love
with Julianne Moore
yeah he
like
Julianne Moore
in the movie.
She plays the main bad guy.
She's the Samuel L. Jackson bad guy of this movie,
but she's super creepy.
Poppy.
Her name's Poppy.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it, so please go see it
because they're not going to get to make another one,
and I wish they would because I enjoyed it.
Kingsman, The Golden Circle.
I think they can make another one.
This one's doing all right.
Is it doing all right?
Because I feel like it did.
Did you just really want to double back to what's the Rape movie again?
I really moved fast.
I moved out of it.
It's called Wind.
I've never seen a Rape movie where it was sad.
That's why I want to see it.
Wind.
It's called Wind River.
Wind River.
Wind River.
Wind River. Wider. Wind River. Wind River.
Wider than a ray.
Okay, so I was just going to say rape again.
There's no reason.
Stop saying it.
Negative points for anybody who says rape from this point forward.
What was the last movie you saw?
It would be terrible if there was a movie called that and that was the last movie you saw. But Rob, what was the last movie you saw? It would be terrible if there was a movie called that
and that was the last movie you saw.
But Rob, what was the last movie you saw?
You know, I knew you were going to ask this,
and I work a lot at, I'm just kind of a cruise ship,
so they just play movies all day long.
Yeah, they do.
So I saw like fucking 10 of them in a row.
Oh, you should check out the sunshine.
I don't know which one
was the last one.
Can I just say?
Just say.
People having fun.
So, Lego Batman,
fucking horrible.
What?
Horrible.
That's a hotter take
than me bringing up
that R word.
I don't want that to be it.
What did you like
about Lego Batman?
I fucking love Lego movie.
I can watch that every day. So it took a bad turn after that? Lego Batman? I fucking love Lego movie. I could watch that every day.
So it took a bad turn after that?
Lego Batman, I think they just go,
oh, his voice is kind of cool.
Let's fucking put a movie in him.
And it sucked.
There was nothing fun about it at all.
Fuck you.
It wasn't fun at all.
You're really doubling down.
Wait, wait.
So when you saw Lego movie, the first one.
Oh, Robin, I'm super fun and happy.
Yeah, well, you're an asshole.
I don't want you to be my friend.
Oh, well, then he pulls him in at the end.
It's not funny.
You did not enjoy Batman in the Lego Movie?
I enjoyed Batman, but I just thought the movie sucked.
It's all Batman.
All the time.
All right, moving on.
Ghost in the Shell with Scarlett Johansson.
Fucking yummy.
Wait, it's not.
Can I say that?
You didn't know that.
Fucking yummy.
Where do we get those outfits?
Thanks for bringing all this candy for the prize bag.
It's fucking yummy.
I asked if we could cuss.
You can cuss all day.
You can cuss all you want.
That's weird to cuss.
I've never heard yum or yummy in the same sentence
as fuck or fucking.
If a chick is hot, that's yummy to me.
That's yummy.
Okay.
I want to eat terrible.
I don't like you wearing those glasses while you say that.
It is very uncomfortable.
He's wearing
like Buddy Holly glasses.
Makes me look like I'm smarter.
Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
No, you didn't fuck up.
The question is just what was the last movie you saw not...
I don't know which one.
They were all back to back.
Tell us.
What do you mean?
There's no right or wrong.
Okay, can I say Baby Driver?
Yeah.
Yes.
Hated it.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Way to win over the crowd.
Yeah.
Run, motherfucker.
Run.
People are putting up white cards asking you to be removed from the crowd. Yeah. Run, motherfucker. Run. People are putting up
white cards
asking you to be removed
from the theater.
in the whole movie.
The very,
the thing they show
in the commercial.
I was so pissed.
I wanted to see that
the whole movie.
See what?
Him doing all the cool moves
and shit.
There was one scene.
You mean,
you think that movie
only had one car chase in it?
It had one good car chase.
Oh.
Oh, you fucking killed...
I'm shipping.
Yeah, it's...
You probably want to be a little bit more articulate
when you're being so critical.
It was all...
But I'm sorry that you're not enjoying these movies
That are critically acclaimed
I never do
Did you see Get Out?
Get Out
No I heard it's great though
And I love it
Yeah well you're gonna hate it
Have you seen the new Wolverine movie, Logan?
Have you seen Logan?
Logan, I loved.
Okay, finally.
We can agree on something.
I love all X-Men.
Okay, now we're back in a weird area.
Why do you, tell me why you like Baby Driver.
Like.
I don't have to defend Baby Driver.
I like the score.
And I liked, what?
Yeah, but every movie that you say
you hate
then you proceed to tell us
all the great things
that are in it.
No I'm not gonna proceed
to tell you all the great things.
I like the music.
That was about it.
It's wall to wall music.
Yeah.
That's what's cool about it.
Oh I'm walking down the street
to a fucking song.
Whoopty shit.
Let's see some cool
Let's see some fucking cool spin around a dump
truck in a fucking backhoe right you don't like uh musicals i'm not a good musical guy yeah there
you go and what about can i point you in the direction of the fast and furious films that
seems like something you'd be into no i no i don't like that you're insulting the fast and
furious movies i took a piss and i wanted to go away from your worst opinion in history movies No. I don't like that you're insulting the Fast and the Furious movies.
I took a piss, and I wanted to go away from your worst opinion in the history of movies.
You really like Baby Driver?
Love it.
Chris runs from opinions.
Yes.
I don't want to be next to that take.
I was so bored.
After that first scene, I was so bored.
You weren't?
No.
You were just like, oh, my God, this is great.
They're just setting up scenes for fucking people.
I come across.
I mean, they established characters and then paid them off with motivations and actions.
I just enjoyed it.
Everybody.
I've come across a few detractors.
And when they say they don't like it, it just didn't.
It just didn't.
I can get.
It didn't work for whatever reason.
I get that.
But this fucking sucked.
I know that's too strong.
After the first scene, it was just boring to me.
I got so bored.
Well, that's dude.
You are doubling down on these hot takes.
It's OK that it was boring.
You know what?
I don't mind.
I'm going to eat through the fucking rest of this now.
I don't mind that it was boring to you.
But let me ask you this.
What's what's like your idea of a real,
like what you're talking about?
I like shit that challenges the mind.
Okay, so more car chases would have changed the mind.
See, you're already not really tracking
in terms of your opinions.
Okay, what's your favorite movie?
Yeah.
My favorite movie is The Matrix.
Okay. Okay. I like that movie a lot. And you lost is The Matrix. Okay. Okay.
And you lost hope
in them with the sequels? No, I loved
it. You're all the way
through, all the way. Well, they got, the
second one was a little lame to me, but
I just love, I just love
anything that challenges the mind
that makes you think, maybe this
isn't real. Maybe this is the real thing.
Are you a member of the contrarian society?
No, but there's arguments lately about Rotten Tomatoes.
A consensus isn't really a good way to judge if a movie is good or bad.
But I like to look at what the consensus is more than any description of the movie.
I don't want it spoiled.
I want to know if people like it or not.
Yeah, and if people are liking it, I should take a chance on this thing and go in cold. I don't need to know what's want to know if people like it or not. Yeah, and if people are liking it, oh, I should take a chance on this thing and go in cold.
I don't need to know what's going to fucking happen and get out.
It's just everybody's loving it, so I just want to see it.
And that's sort of how I felt about It,
because I never read the book It.
No, I definitely read the book.
But now I've read about the book It.
There's a real Wind River moment in the middle of that book.
Yes, and also it's intriguing to me that they just made a movie of the kids,
but the book goes back and forth between adults and kids.
So now the next movie they have to cast adults that look like those kids.
Absolutely.
Or act like them or whatever.
So that's cool.
Larry?
Yes.
Funny enough, I saw an old movie.
It's called The Grapes of Wrath.
That's why I don't do comedy.
You give me shit?
Yeah.
Get on 13th over here.
I'm not headlining.
Yeah, Larry's a lawyer.
Also, yeah, I'm not talking about fucking movies on my show either.
Lawyers are only hilarious in movies.
Like in real courtrooms, if somebody's a cut up, that's not going to work.
I saw the disaster artist on Saturday.
You did?
Is it me or is Larry harder to hear than everybody else?
Can you just get right into your mic?
Yeah, just lick it if you have to.
It's a little low.
Whoa, sounds fine when you bang on it.
But when you hold it around here,
then that's when it's fine.
You got to really get into it.
I just plop my teeth with it.
All right.
What movie did you see?
The Disaster Artist.
Oh, good for you.
That's the James Franco movie about the room.
And his real brother plays his brother, Dave Franco.
Dave Franco plays, no, plays a different.
Oh, but he's in it.
He plays Greg.
He plays the other star in the movie.
I just feel bad for him when I watch The Deuce that he's got a brother and he just plays both parts.
He plays himself.
I feel bad for Dave sitting at home going.
James plays Tommy Wiseau and Dave plays Greg Sestero, who's the other star of the movie.
Oh, okay.
They were best friends.
And it's a very funny movie.
And just what kills me is that Tommy Wiseau called me, like, last year
about maybe me doing some work for him, and it didn't happen.
I'm kicking myself that I didn't have him come in and, like,
at least talk to him.
Wait, you just turned him down over the phone
what did he want you to do i can't talk about what he wanted me to do but yes you can
can i guess if i guess it right will you tell me it's right no uh because i'm thinking he wanted
to sue the movie room for having for having too close of title to the room and confusing people
and suddenly now there's all these midnight screenings of room everywhere and people are for having too close of a title to The Room and confusing people.
And suddenly now there's all these midnight screenings of Room everywhere.
And people are like, this is not fun to yell at.
Why am I bringing this spoon to this Brie Larson movie?
Now are people going to think this is a good movie?
What's that?
Now people are going to think this is a good movie?
Which one?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, but you liked Disaster Artist.
That's the bottom line.
It was really good.
And when I saw the screening, it was for SAG members,
and Franco and Seth Rogen and Dave Franco were there
and told great stories.
Sounds like a sausage party.
It was.
It was.
Nailed it.
That was real solid.
I did.
So pretty much in this show,
we only got to agree that it's a good movie.
We can't say we didn't like it.
No, no, no.
It's funny.
The audience rarely boos the opinions of my guests.
You really managed to...
You are a special man.
The first one they all booed
because not only do I love Lego Batman, but I'm in Lego Batman.
So that's why a lot of people were booing.
They were booing for me.
Okay, but.
And then, but as far as Baby Driver goes,
like I just, people just love it,
and a few people don't like it.
So I can't be mad at you for not liking it,
but they can if they want.
And so that's what happened there.
Yeah. Okay.
What about, how do you feel about Schindler's List?
Boring as shit!
Fucking law.
After that first car chase,
it gets so boring.
Can I bring up any other ones and see
how everybody else feels about some of these other ones?
No, we don't. This segment's over.
Okay.
Sorry.
Unless you've written down something
that fits this category
because the question I have...
We haven't seen each other in a long time.
I'm sorry now.
I feel bad for saying that.
Saying which part?
That I didn't enjoy the...
I went into Batman and Lego.
You're an adult man
watching Lego Batman in your room
on a cruise ship.
I fucking love it.
No.
Why do you have to love it?
You don't have to love it.
I love the Lego movies.
Hey, Rob.
Can I ask you,
what was your opinion
of Miss Peregrine's
Home for Peculiar Children?
If you liked it,
I'm going to murder you.
I'm so glad you said that.
They weren't fucking
very peculiar.
How about some really cool advances, right? Some of them don't even have faces. They weren't fucking very peculiar. How about some really cool advances, right?
Some of them don't even have faces.
You don't find that peculiar?
Oh, look it.
Oh, son, you're fucking frozen or whatever.
You scared him.
Big deal.
I'm with you.
They weren't very peculiar at all.
I think you really need to start a thing
where you talk about movies you hate
without being able to articulate
just a bunch of things.
It's just saying, like, over here,
and then it's like, what's that about?
Oh, I'll go over there.
Oh, this is stupid.
Hey, why don't you explain how hard it was
for me to get here today?
Everybody, welcome to Rob...
movies.
I don't really have a strong opinion.
I don't really have a strong opinion but the next question is
I'm sure you'll win them back in the game portion
but one more question because it is October
people like to
they ask me all the time
what's a good scary movie to watch for this month?
Chris Cubis, do you have a recommendation?
Well, I mean, I have a Dawn of the Dead tattoo,
the original Dawn of the Dead.
It has like a logo on my leg,
so I always recommend that movie.
But I will also add to that,
I re-watched The Descent
recently. Oh great.
That movie's real strong.
Like
the scares work really well
and all lady cast adds like a nice
dynamic to it. It's just, it's real good.
So I would say watch The Descent. Yeah, I throw that one
around a lot when people ask. It's been a minute
but I enjoyed it very much and also
I watched The Mist fairly recently and I like that movie a lot. people ask. It's been a minute, but I enjoyed it very much. And also, I watched The Mist fairly recently,
and I like that movie a lot.
What's her name?
Marsha Gay Hardoff?
Yeah.
I would run away
from that take, but I'm still
winning. I say it that way because
there's a Garfunkel Notes song where they say her name that way.
That being said, she's
tremendously good in that movie.
It's great. So like, yeah, those two movies.
That's the things I've heard is that
people either can, you know,
they either like or hate her in that
movie and they either like or hate
the ending. I like both.
I've never sat through the whole thing before.
I've seen snippets and it
looks like an interesting movie.
It's fun. Speaking of things that are interesting
what do you
what's your answer Rob?
I don't
normally go to scary movies
so I'm not a big scary movie guy but I
can I say the one that scared me? Well what's one that got you
out of the game? What's one that scares you so much?
Jaws. When I was a kid
I couldn't put my fucking legs
or arms out of my bed because I thought
he would chomp up and get
him. What are we talking like 15,
16 years old?
I was still
wet in the bed, so at least 13.
Because I thought, well, he's going to come out
of this, right?
And it was a waterbed, so it wasn't even.
So you've never even seen like Jaws 2?
No.
3?
D?
There's a 3 one?
No.
There's a 4.
The Revenge.
Oh, I saw Jaws 2 when he went out like across continents.
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah.
No, that's the one.
That's 4.
That's 4.
He goes to the Bahamas. What's that? Every scary one I've seen anymore, I'm just like, that's the one that's four that's four when he goes to the Bahamas
what's that
every scary one
I've seen anymore
I'm just like
that's dumb
I like just don't get scared anymore
right
that's how you keep yourself
from being scared
I try to keep tough
yeah
I'm sorry
I just
that's the best I got
you know
if anybody
here in this audience
or listening
has never seen Jaws
and wants to see a scary movie for October.
Jaws was scary.
You just gave them that gift.
And Psycho.
When you were a kid, Jaws and Psycho scared the shit out of me.
Is this your thing?
You answered the question, and now you've got another answer.
But yeah, if they haven't seen Psycho, they should definitely
see Psycho.
With Vince Vaughn.
Yeah,
the Vince Vaughn version.
Because you can go in,
if you can go in cold,
you know,
it might work.
It might not be weird
that like just
recreating all the shots
just takes all the air
out of it.
Like it's such
a weird exercise.
Like you should have
just done that
and shown it at parties or something
instead of putting it into movie theaters
and ending Vince Vaughn's dramatic career
although he's back with
I'm very excited I'm seeing it tomorrow
Brawl in Cell Block 99
yeah yeah you know I love a movie title
that promises something
that sounds exciting
like a brawl in a very specific
cell block
you're gonna be looking for that that sounds exciting, like a brawl in a very specific cell block.
You're going to be looking for that number 99 when you're watching the movie.
Is the guy that did Bone Tomahawk?
I'm very excited.
Yes. I'm very excited.
And Vince Vaughn, he's a monster in it.
He's so weird that he's never been in a movie where he fights people,
because he's so much bigger than everybody else.
And very intimidating.
Larry?
Yeah, I just saw this on Netflix,
and this may also be the best movie you haven't seen yet,
and that's Raw.
Have you seen it?
No.
French movie.
No, the trailer for Raw bummed me out.
It makes you think it's like an exploitation movie.
It's really, really good.
It's so well directed.
It's so well shot
about this French vegetarian
who wants to be a veterinarian
who develops a taste
for human flesh.
It's fantastic.
Yeah, the trailer's disgusting.
It's really gross.
I know they really
make it look like
an exploitation movie. It's just really solid. Well, if all that stuff that's in the trailer is disgusting. It's really gross. I know they really make it look like an exploitation movie.
It's just really solid.
Well, if all that stuff that's in the trailer's actually in the movie, then it's a disgusting
exploitation movie.
Watch it.
I'm telling you.
I'm not gonna watch it!
Watch it.
It's good.
It's good.
I know what you like.
Edgar Wright himself told me, Edgar Wright told me, see Raw, skip Baby Driver.
It didn't really work out.
I'm going to pull a Rob Litter real quick.
I would also like to add the movie on Netflix, The Void.
I really enjoyed that movie.
It felt like Carpenter's Prince of Darkness
or any of those sort of siege movies,
like Assault on Precinct 13,
but with a cult thing.
I really enjoyed it.
It was fun.
I liked it a lot.
All right.
So if I explain a little more,
I can get...
Oh, no.
You tried to explain.
All right.
Thanks for answering
those questions, guys.
I know they're really
hardball questions.
And turn the show off Bert let the games begin name tags come out of the shadows
we got lots of great name tags here in KC as we do all the time I see Chris Cubis' face a lot
Will you explain this to me Doug. This is my first time. Well, I explained it to you prior to the show,
but I'll explain it again.
Go pick a name tag.
Whichever one you want.
While they do that,
we'll go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
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D-O-U-G.
Back to the show.
We're back!
Now throw that at me.
Is that blue?
Oh, that's blue.
That was so awesome.
I made no effort to catch it.
But it almost went in the fucking bag.
And why are you throwing shit vodka at me?
This isn't Tito's.
This isn't even... They didn't't Tito's. This isn't even...
They didn't have Tito's.
I'm sorry.
They didn't have it, man.
All right, can I put it in the prize bag?
Is that cool?
Yep.
All right, because I'm not going to drink that shit.
But thank you for throwing it.
I also got excited because I thought you were...
Somebody tweeted me saying they promised not to throw a joint on stage this time.
And I thought you were that guy, and he was breaking his promise, but I was okay with it.
Let's find out who you guys are playing for, starting with Chris.
Here's the problem.
I have no idea who I'm playing for because it's just a cutout of my face taped to a ruler.
I have no idea who I'm playing for because it's just a cutout of my face taped to a ruler.
Because my dream has always been to pull off a mask
and then there's another mask underneath,
which is essentially what I can do with this image.
But there's no name on it.
What's your name?
Haley.
I'm playing for Haley.
Good job, Haley.
You really attracted him with his own face.
And also, hold it up for a second.
Like, the next time Rob says something you don't agree with,
just hold that up.
Because you got a more neutral face.
Little smirk.
Uh-oh.
This is going to happen a lot, I feel like now.
I don't know.
There's not that much time left.
Who are you playing for?
I'm playing for this lovely lady right there
amber she look at this it's so good harvey all right now let's pretend that people are listening
to a podcast it says harvey potter and the half-blood princess and it's got harry potter
jelly bellies on it do you like those love them because some of them are like hagrid's turds
yeah boogers.
Yeah, they're gross.
There's snot.
There's all kinds of... You want a baby driver flavor?
It's like if you could...
It's like if you could eat the movie Raw.
Yeah.
Well, he can't stop reading it.
He's looking at the back of the name tag.
He's like, don't read that, don't read that, don't read that.
And he's just like staring right at it.
Like a lot of comedians, we become comedians not because
we're good at taking instructions.
You know what I mean?
But we'll say that at the end.
If you lose tonight, then that's
their consolation prize.
I will say it. I am forced
to say that, whatever it is.
So you don't need to comment on it.
But good job, Haley, being chosen
and being... And she's dressed up.
Look at how she's dressed up, Darnell.
So far.
Look at how cool she looks.
Wow.
Aw, adorable.
Okay.
It's a little Harry Potter garb.
What?
She's in Quidditch.
Quidditch garb.
I know, she looks awesome.
Yeah, Quidditch.
It kind of sounds like Quiddit.
I'm playing for Blair, and she did a mock-up of the Blair Witch.
Oh, I saw that one on the internet.
And it says, in October of 2017,
Doug Benson disappeared in a theater near Kansas City, Missouri,
while recording a podcast.
One week later, his audio was found.
The Blair Witch Podcast is what it's called.
Real good.
That's pretty good.
Wow.
All right.
And her name's Blair?
Apparently.
Yeah.
Okay.
So congratulations.
One out of three has their name on the name tag.
Doug, I also have to give props up to the guy who gave me donuts up there.
I forgot his name, but...
Jason. Jason. Thank you, Jason.
Yeah. Rob, give us
donuts. That's why I keep turning my mic
off so I can eat them.
Oh, that's very nice of you. That's professional
to chew
with your mic off.
What flavor donuts are they?
They are
glazed.
Glazed.
For people who can't see,
Doug just tossed them.
Yeah, you can leave your microphone on now.
That's what I should have done with those hamburgers.
That's an in-joke.
So let's play some games.
We're racing the clock at this point because we had such a long chat earlier that we've got 30 minutes left.
That's not too bad.
I like when you go to the movies
and they say exactly how long it is
because if you do get really bored,
you can look at your phone and maybe get some relief.
Mine today was when I glanced at it and said five o'clock. That meant there
was only 45 more minutes of Blade Runner. I lasted that long. I was really proud of
myself. And I had myself thrown out of the theater.
That'd be funny. Write down on a card, this sucks. Throw me out.
I'm just staring at the wrong side of this piece
of paper. The first game we're going to play
and I'll explain all the games to you
as we go, Rob. These other gentlemen have been on
before so they might know but
everybody could use a refresher. It's called
Characters Welcome.
I'm going to list characters
from one particular
movie. You know, the characters in the end titles. I'm going to list characters from one particular movie,
you know, the characters in the end titles.
They usually give kind of peculiar names to different people in the end titles of movies.
And guess as often as you like,
first one of you to guess the correct title of this movie wins the game.
Malcolm X, Baby Driver.
You said as often as we like? Yeah, and, you know. Muppets Take Manhattan. You said it as often as we like.
Yeah, and you know.
Muppets, St. Manhattan, Schindler's List.
A good pre-guess for isn't terrible.
Can you imagine if I did Schindler's List?
Get all the way up to Schindler before you get it.
It's a bunch of German names I can't recognize.
You'd be like, I don't want to say it,
but I really feel this is German heavy.
Okay.
What movie has the characters
Funky Prom Boy?
Carrie.
And this is just the audience gets to guess.
Carrie?
I mean, just the people on stage.
No, I thought it was.
He said Carrie.
Carrie?
Carrie. Okay. Yeah, there's he said Carrie. Carrie? Carrie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, there's a prom in Carrie, so you're good.
She's just not into me?
She's not into me?
What is that one called?
Whatever it's called is not the right answer.
Okay.
You said it's not the right answer.
What the fuck?
Back to the future.
I didn't say something.
You're like, oh, I'm your asshole.
He wasn't yelling at you.
No, yeah.
That's how it works. When people give me the wrong answer i'm gonna say incorrect it's no judgment other
than the fact that i think you're dumb mr modilla someone else named mr boy
some people in the audience know nurse specs
coach boomer Some people in the audience know. Nurse Specs?
Coach Boomer?
Ron Wilson, bus driver?
Happy Gilmore.
The fucking, is it the? You're saying Happy Gilmore, but I don't know.
No, no, no, no.
The one where he's like, lives in the South?
Well, who lives in the South?
Adam Sandler.
The water boy.
The water boy? No. I have no idea. Who lives in the South? Adam Sandler. The Waterboy. The Waterboy.
No.
I have no idea.
I felt good.
Will Stronghold.
Lego Batman.
That was a funny answer, sir, but also shut up.
Good joke. it Quidditch
Jetstream
Is the character in this movie
Use your microphone voice
Transformers
Oh you tried to snake his Transformers.
Did I do it?
Because he used his microphone into his face mask thing.
I'm playing the game right is why.
All right.
Well, I'm sure lots of people already know it,
and then this will help you get there, I think.
But I have a bad feeling about my guests on stage.
The Commander.
G.I. Joe? G.I. No. feeling about my guests on stage the commander GI Joe GI no but I support the troops just like Eminem so much fun that's good okay so now we have to play live, die, repeat.
I'm going to say the title of the movie.
First person that says it back wins.
How's that a game?
Well, I thought it was pretty obvious
what the answer was by this point.
I'm going to say it.
I'm going to say the answer.
And when Chris says it back, he wins.
Sky. Sky.
Sky.
Sky Captain in the World of Tomorrow.
Wow.
Skyfall.
Sky.
No.
Close.
I'm sorry.
Let me start at the beginning.
You ready?
Sky.
Sky High.
Sky High is right.
You did it. Sky High? Sky High, right. You did it.
Sky High?
Sky High, I said.
Behind my mask.
Great job.
What is Sky High?
Sky High.
I don't know the movie.
Kurt Russell?
I've seen it, but I've only seen it once.
I don't know it.
Oh, it's so good.
Yeah.
How many people knew it?
Raise your hand if you knew it.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess I should have said clap
If you knew it
There's a poster right up front
Did you hold it up?
She's, I'm playing for her
She had two name tags
What?
You sat here saying there's no name
On this name tag and she sat there
Holding that name tag
But my name tag doesn't have
And it has Tito's.
And it has Tito's on it?
Go get that shit.
What is happening?
Two bottles of Tito's.
And it's got a shithead on the back.
It's got...
That was a red, white, and blue Smirnoff.
I'll take it.
I'll take the Tito's.
Oh, two bottles of Tito's. I don't feel like this is fair with Chris being here
There's a bunch of jolly ranchers
Yeah he really is the best at repeating
Sky who
I just figured it out
Well
Yeah
But do you want any of this
Yeah break your neck bitch
Oh no I was fanning myself But do you want any of this? Yeah. Break your neck, bitch.
Oh, no.
I was fanning myself with my own face,
which is maybe the most Donald Trump thing a human being can do.
And then it broke.
Haley's got an envelope on the back.
Oh, now there's more shit flying in.
Oh, there's...
They brought tape.
Somebody brought scotch tape?
Are you Scottish?
I am not doing fucking crafts.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she put a shit in the back
and everything.
That was a crazy turn of events.
That's the shit.
Because when I saw that name tag today,
that's when I decided to use that movie.
And if at any point we discussed it,
they would have a better chance of succeeding,
but it didn't come up.
Check your Twitter.
Oh.
Yeah, that's a good idea for future guests.
Sheet.
That's a great idea.
Check my Twitter.
See what I'm looking at.
I did check it.
I didn't see that.
All right.
Check my Twitter.
See what I'm looking at. I did check it.
I didn't see that.
All right.
Can I get a PBR with a lime for my weight set?
That is the most gangster way you can order a drink.
To just slurp ice into a microphone.
I respect the shit out of that.
But it also kind of sounds like you're taking
a bong rip.
I don't know if we ever discussed
this, but my parents smoked weed my whole
life, and I used to pass
the joints between them
and their friends.
And my mom's like, there's no
way you did that. And I threw her a 60th
birthday party, and all of her friends were like, hey, remember when you did that. And I threw her a 60th birthday party.
And all of her friends were like, hey, remember when we made Robbie used to pass the joints between us?
I was like, I fucking told you, bitch.
That's what I said to my mom.
Yeah.
She was smoking when she was pregnant, right?
Probably.
Probably.
It was the 70s.
The Larry Zurn.
Oh, you got Zurned.
Sick Zurn.
Served.
It's fucking true.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts.
All right, Rob.
You don't have to look at anybody's nuts,
but you do have to know how to spell.
Oh, God. have to look at anybody's nuts but you do have to know how to spell and you have to know movie titles since Chris won that last game we'll go to him first
and then we'll go to Larry and then we'll come to you Rob one at a time
we're gonna spell something when a letter gets to you you just have to name
any movie that begins with that letter and And in honor of Blade Runner 2049,
that is going to be what we're going to spell.
So the first letter is B, and it goes to Chris.
All he's got to do is name any movie that begins with the letter B.
If he writes down the movie I wrote down ahead of time,
he wins the game automatically.
I mean, I got to do it, baby driver.
Yeah, you had to do it, I guess.
But I went with Back to the future right yeah
and here's your pbr thank you see l is the letter l l is larry's letter l for larry what do you got
larry labyrinth oh that's a good one i went with lo Logan's Run. A, Rob, this is yours for the taking.
Just name a movie that begins with the letter A.
All About Schmidt?
Oh, so close.
Avatar.
I love that movie, too.
Yep, you should have melded minds with me and figured it out.
I was thinking, like, I thought that's...
Yeah.
D is your letter, Chris.
Dave.
Dave about the Kevin Kline in the White House?
Yeah. Okay. I don't think you named it,
but I... Yeah.
You gotta stay in the game.
Gotta keep it moving. I went with District 9.
Okay.
Okay.
Is the theme emerging?
E, Larry.
Equilibrium?
No, but that's on my list.
Some people say it's great.
Other people are like, eh.
No, I like that movie.
Okay.
Gun Kata.
I'm back in then.
I went with E.T. the Extraterrestrial. R.
R to you, Rob.
Any movie that begins with R.
Right Stuff?
Or is it The Right Stuff?
It's The Right Stuff.
Yeah, that's the problem there.
Anything else?
Blade Runner starts at 9.45.
I feel... I'm sorry.
That's all right.
We still got one more game after this one,
so you're still in it.
Robots.
Oh, yes.
I wrote Robocop.
Oh, shit.
And that's in Maiden.
It's about a cop in Detroit.
Right.
That's right, Robocop.
Robocop.
It starts with your name.
Use the next letter This is not on theme
But I'm gonna go with up
Up is always good
Uly's gold of course
Not a lot of use but I went with universal soldier
N to Larry
You know it's true you get up here and your mind just goes blank
Yeah right There are movies that start with the letter N N to Larry. You know, it's true. You get up here and your mind just goes blank. Yeah, right?
Like, there are movies that start with the letter N?
Because I can't think of one.
I mean, it's like, it's crazy.
But, um, Ned Beatty.
That's a person.
I love that movie, Ned Beatty.
Ned Beatty the movie.
I love that movie, Ned Beatty.
Ned Beatty the movie.
Ned Beatty colon squeal like a pig.
I thought we weren't saying that word anymore.
Which one?
N is the... Yeah, I'm sorry I have to say this to you,
but I'm going to need an N word from you, Chris.
It's totally fine.
North.
Okay, you got one.
You still need another N word.
It's still N to me.
What did you have?
It's N to me or it's N to Rob.
Oh, which way was it going?
It went me, Larry, Rob.
Okay, sorry, Rob.
It's Rob.
No, it's Chris.
Oh, it is Chris.
Who is it? No, no, yeah, no, it's Rob. It's Rob. No, it's Chris. Oh, it is Chris. Who is it?
No, no, yeah.
No, it's Rob.
It's Rob.
It's Rob.
It's Rob.
Goddamn lawyers.
It went me, Larry, Rob, me.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Rob.
I have to get an N?
Yeah.
This Nightmare on Elm Street one?
Nope, that's a Nightmare on Elm Street.
Yeah.
Also, you were out anyway.
I don't know why I asked you.
I wasn't out. No, he came up with robots.
Oh, that's right.
Robots.
Nubulus.
Isn't that one?
No.
What's the...
Can you just say yes just to move on?
I'm saying it wrong.
So what am I...
Nubulus?
Nubulus?
I forgot to say Larry's was Night of the Comet,
and then yours is Night of the Creeps.
I like both of those movies.
Night at the Museum.
You already got one.
Yeah, that counts, but not really.
E.
No.
E to me.
I'm going to go with Ender's Game.
Oh, that's a good one.
I picked Ex Machina.
So we've gotten through almost all of Bedrunner
without anybody guessing any movies that are science fiction.
Ender's Game is definitely science fiction.
Yeah, you're right.
So we got all the way to the E in Blade Runner.
R is the last letter.
Larry gets a chance.
Robocop 2.
Robocop 2.
No, sorry. uh no sorry i know that was that would have been funny if i wrote that down i mean that's
i'm not above doing that or writing robocop 2016 or whatever year that most recent one came out
but uh no what's that? Robin Hood? Princess Thieves? That's not science fiction.
It's hard to come up with.
I wrote down Rogue One.
A Star Wars story.
All right.
Let me check the time.
Wait, now we've got to
spill out 2049, right?
Too fast, too furious.
Wicked.
What did you just do?
We're spelling 20.
T-W.
I was doing numbers.
Yeah, he was just going to do the numbers.
It's a joke.
Then the next one would be zero, dark 30.
And then four rooms.
And then nine...
Nine ghosts?
Nine lives?
Is that the Kevin Spacey?
I have weeks, you pervert.
What's in the fridge?
Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Did you stop and think, oh, Gwyneth Paltrow's head. Did you stop and think,
oh, Gwyneth Paltrow's in this whole conversation
about Harvey Weinstein, maybe it's a weird time
to bring her head in a box to a show?
Yeah, Brad Pitt's gonna give you
a Missouri hello or whatever the fuck he said.
You didn't see that?
I was dope as shit. Apparently Brad Pitt
Oh yeah, but
I was more confused by the Missouri hello.
But that's what he said. He said, like, I'm going to give you, like, a Missouri
kick-em-ups or something. Like, he made a weird
expression to threaten him.
That's a story
that's happening. I know. I didn't catch that part.
I love that you look dumb this time, Chris.
Yeah.
Made me feel so much better.
I like that.
All right, so we have one last game.
We have about 12 minutes to play it.
Let's do it.
And it's always a lot of fun.
It's called Last Man Stanton.
And I'm going to get a name, possibly two names,
from people in the audience.
And then, similar to the last game, Rob,
we just take turns.
I like to play along in this one
because I don't know what name we're going to use.
All right.
We take turns naming movies
that that person's been in.
And if you can't think of one, you're out.
But you do have one lifeline.
You can go to the person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them once during the game
to help you out
and i recommend the earlier the better on that okay also where's daniel aka at
bick mitchum zero three yeah daniel was uh he was a guest on the show the last time we were here
Yeah, Daniel was a guest on the show the last time we were here.
How'd you do?
He did a great job.
Loved Baby Driver.
He was great.
I never called him stupid or implied that he was stupid.
So I did really good.
But the recording wasn't that great.
I feel akin to Daniel. So it sounded like the other guests were like Trey Gallion especially
thought it'd be funny to continually make fun of Daniel
and give him a very hard time.
Oh, yeah.
Like, shut the fuck up was this typical thing he would say to him.
He treated him like, you know, like how John Goodman treated Donnie.
And so it was in the room.
It was really fun.
Everyone was laughing.
But on the recording, you couldn't hear the audience at all.
So mean.
So it just sounded so vicious.
So I wanted to apologize to you for that,
and thank you for coming down today.
I told him on Twitter today that if any one of you guys
didn't show up, he'd be up here.
Sorry, Daniel.
It was me.
Because I knew you were flying in.
There was a chance you might not make it,
but everybody could have not made it,
so I'm glad we're all here,
and we'll see you another time, Daniel,
but thanks for participating in that last show.
And where is...
This can't be happening.
At Baby Driver.
No.
At Haley Jo Phoenix.
That's me.
That's a different Haley.
Different Haley.
Oh, good.
Killing it.
That was a close one.
Okay, so what name do you have for our game tonight?
Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman.
Just saw her in the trailer for Annihilation.
It's a movie that looks
extremely bleak and Natalie Portman's walking around.
Is she in
Geostorm? Because that's the only movie I care about
right now. That's the only movie you
care about? Here's why. It
might be the worst thing I've ever seen
and I'm very excited. What the fuck?
You dropped a read. Oh my God.
I got PTSD like Bert Kreischer's back on the show.
Worst movie.
What?
Yeah.
Wait, so the shirt's going to stay off?
No, of course.
You pop a shirt off, it stays off.
This is a total
Harvey Weinstein movie.
I went to drink my mic.
Oh, my God.
Next, he's going to jerk off
into a plant.
Also, the glasses
and shirt off thing,
I don't know.
That's real weird.
I don't know about that combo. That's real weird. Makes me feel a little fancy with and shirt off thing, I don't know. That's real weird. I don't know about that combo.
That's real weird.
Makes me feel a little fancy with my shirt off.
The dude up here fanning himself looking at you
and your shirtless glasses look.
All right, so let me ask the panel real quick.
Do you feel comfortable with Natalie Portman?
Now, I got to come up with some.
The name Natalie Portman.
Everybody's got to come up with Natalie Portman movies.
Don't just start naming them.
I got a bunch.
Okay.
There's no way that's true.
That's good.
Larry's shaking his head.
So let's also.
Let's take a second.
Let's go to a second.
Let's get a second name because that just makes it more fair.
Yeah.
And we're going to have to go fast,
so it's also easier if we have two names.
Where's Panic Tim at?
Hey.
Hey, Panic Tim.
Clapping for himself
like a real winner.
But looking at everybody else,
I thought it was
somebody else around him.
Where does Panic Tim come from?
Is that like a play
on Panic Room?
There's an old company
I used to work for.
You used to work for a company
called Panic Tim?
Yeah, Panic Creative.
You just worked there?
Oh, Panic Creative and then everybody that worked there? Oh, Panic Creative, and then everybody
worked there, their name would be Panic, and then whatever.
Panic Steve.
Panic Larry.
Panic No Shirt
Glasses.
And what's your suggestion, Panic
Tim? Huge Ackman.
Huge Ackman.
All right, so we got Nat Portman and huge
Jackman I'm they might even be in one together somebody suggested me one time
if somebody names a movie that has both people in it they just win automatically
but seems like that'd be obvious when that happens you know know? So, no. Where are we starting? But I can't think of one right now.
But who won that last game?
No one.
No one.
Oh, but Chris won the first game.
So we'll go Chris, Rob, Larry, me.
Go.
V for Vendetta.
Yes.
Starring?
Black Swan.
A bald lady.
Logan.
Wow, you guys really are moving it along.
I'm trying.
But good thing I'm next because I could stop
and write this shit down.
Friends with benefits.
The professional.
No, that's not it.
Leon the professional. I got the wrong one.
You're out, bitch! Oh one You're out bitch I'm out
I kind of almost did that on purpose
What did I say?
I don't know what I said
I don't know what just happened
You said what?
I said the professional
Leon the professional
That's why
Let's go ahead and wait
Until I call on you Let's go ahead and wait until I call on you.
Let's go ahead and wait until it's your turn.
When I call on you, then we'll do it.
Rob?
Star Wars 4?
Whatever the fuck.
Wait.
You said you have a bunch of them
and then you're saying one
that you don't even know what it's called.
Yeah, you got to say the exact title.
Okay, then let me go back to fucking X-Men 1.
Okay.
But he's got time to fix this.
Wolverine.
Okay.
What the fuck?
Yeah, Hugh Jackman.
Wolverine.
Give me a limp.
Like, come on.
I'm on training wheels in this one.
No, it's good.
You're doing good.
Just let me talk you through it.
Don't panic.
Like Tim over there.
Larry?
Les Miserables.
Doug loves musicals.
Chris?
Okay. Chris. Okay, I'll do Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
Yes.
Rob.
I know I'm going to fuck this up.
Well, you can go to your lifeline. I want... Oh, can Well, you can go to your lifeline.
I want...
Yeah, go to your lifeline.
I'm like right there.
I think I'm right.
Go to it, man.
Lifeline.
Come back around.
You're not in...
No, lifeline.
You went to lifeline.
I thought it was a random person.
No, I know.
That happened to me once, Chris.
That's happened to me
where you just fucking lash out at somebody
who's playing exactly as they're supposed to.
I'm an asshole.
Yeah, but it's good.
But you're saying G.I. Jane?
Joe.
Okay, good.
She was in that?
I thought that was...
G.I. Joe, she's saying.
Who's in G.I. Joe?
Yeah, you gotta take that or reject it.
Who's in it?
What the fuck?
Well, I think she thinks one of those two people
is in it.
Say it again.
G-I-Jane.
Jane.
Which one of...
Hugh Jackman?
Yeah, I don't...
Right? It's Hugh Jackman and...
Oh, you're eating jelly beans.
Respect.
Okay, so... Rob, I're eating jelly beans. All right. Respect. And so... Okay, so...
Rob, I don't know how you did it,
but I think you and the person
whose name tag you chose
are the two worst players in this room.
I will agree I'm the worst,
but I do not agree my partner's the worst.
Okay, so you're going with G.I. Jane?
No.
No, because I know that wasn't Natalie Portman.
That's very sweet of you to not throw her under the bus.
Well, she looks so good tonight.
I think Natalie Portman's been in a bunch.
Did I say Black Swan already?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, 10 seconds.
Oh, shit.
Portman or Jackman?
Okay, I'm going to say the one I want to say,
but I know it's not him.
Fucking Van Helsing?
Yeah.
Nailed it.
He's really flexing hard on that.
In Instincts, check him out sometime.
I'm so worried.
Thor.
Sure.
Yeah, the first one.
I'm sitting on one, but I'm going to go to my lifeline.
No Strings Attached.
No Strings Attached.
That's what I meant, No Strings Attached.
You didn't go, Tug.
I totally assessed in my head, like, I'm going to get it wrong, but I'm going to go anyway.
So if my lifeline fucked up and I went with my own, can I go back to the lifeline?
No, you went with...
Oh, your lifeline is a deadline.
I have two lifelines.
I have the donut guy, too.
You do not.
I mean, I'm still fairly confident that Chris will win, ultimately, but... Yeah, I'm still fairly confident
that Chris will win ultimately but
we gotta try to have some
sort of rules
I'm gonna go Star Wars
number
two
it feels like you've never
seen a Star Wars movie
what was the guy that was like I've never seen a Star Wars movie. Yeah, have a walkie.
What was the guy that was like,
oh, but KB, fucking whatever.
You know who I'm talking about. I'm excited about how polarizing you're going to be.
I feel like I'm crushing this
We're having fun
We're having fun
I do have to
It's just different when it's in people's heads
Yeah I've lost 65 pounds
Did I mention that?
That's another reason to
Just take that shirt off
If you were going in the other direction
And reached where you are now
You probably wouldn't take your shirt off.
Since you're doing good.
You're doing good.
Who's turn is it?
It's my turn.
X-Men Days of Future Past.
What the fuck?
I said that.
No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
You're so into your candy
you put the mic down?
What the fuck?
I said that?
Now the delay goes to the audience
and then back to one of the guests.
Butter.
Butter?
Yeah. Hugh Jackman is in that movie Butter. He is? Yeah.
Hugh Jackman is in that movie Butter.
He is?
Yeah.
Shit.
I've never seen it because it's about sculpting butter.
It's real funny.
You should check it out.
It's actually very good.
But I'm 100% right.
He's in that movie.
Yeah.
I just can't look at butter sculptures or the making of them.
They're great.
One is of JFK's assassination.
In butter.
Yeah.
I would throw up.
It's like raw, but unsalted.
But with butter.
Larry?
X-Men 2.
Is that the name of that movie?
Yeah.
Shit.
I said X-Men 2 in the beginning.
No, you said X-Men 1,
which has never been a title.
And I said, do you want to rethink that?
And then you moved on to something else.
I would like to say one thing.
I lasted longer than you did.
That's true.
Improv, Kansas City this weekend Wait, did you say shit like that
To the people in your audience?
He lasted longer than all of us
Yeah, I'm up here longer than all you fuckers
I'm doing all the standing
I'm the only one that can take my shirt off
And not get thrown out
Chris, you don't have to put it back on I'm doing all the standing. I'm the only one that could take my shirt off and not get thrown out.
I'll put it back on.
Chris, you don't have to put it back on.
Okay.
Movie 42.
Yeah, that's a good one.
All right.
Yeah.
Hugh Jackman has balls on his chest.
X-Men 3.
Is that the full title of that movie?
Yeah.
There's more words after the colon.
Oh, he hasn't.
You haven't.
Yeah, don't say it out loud, anybody.
Just say it.
That's her lifeline.
Oh, you're going to go to her?
Yeah.
Okay.
Blair.
Anywhere but here.
Anywhere but here with Susan Sarandon.
Anywhere but here with Susan Sarandon.
Okay.
Yeah, of course.
Is that where she has the baby in the Walmart?
I'm going to take a stab at this.
Oh, I don't.
Fuck.
I don't know if it's number colon title
or just name colon title.
I can't help you.
I know you can't.
I hope you lose so bad.
I'm going to lose.
It's fine.
Everyone shut up.
Oh, shit.
We're out of time.
Oh.
What's happening?
He was wrong last time.
Who was?
Yes!
It's not movie 42.
Oh, is it movie 43?
I'm an asshole. Son of a bitch!
You almost got that past us!
I did. By the way,
can I ask this question? Is it X-Men
The Last Stand or X-Men 3 The Last Stand?
X-Men The Last Stand.
Whatever, I already lost. I don't care.
Thank you, Guyon Rogue
27 or whatever.
He said five.
It's just five.
No, I don't know.
We said Logan early, right?
Yeah, he said Logan early.
But there's still some other Marvels we missed.
Is he in first class?
Australia.
Yeah.
Yeah, that Marvel movie in Australia.
We're talking about Marvel.
Logan, New Zealand.
Yeah. Does he have to act in it? He's been in tons of shit. He's movie in Australia. We're talking about Marvel. Logan, New Zealand. Yeah.
Does he have to act in it?
He's been in tons of shit.
He's seen in Deadpool.
Well, that's what I mean.
Yeah, that could have counted.
Sure.
He's seen in Deadpool?
Yeah, they show his picture.
By the way.
Oh, right.
His face demands it.
All right.
Show's over.
Larry is our winner.
All right.
He's our winner.
So, Blair, come get your prizes.
Where's Blair at?
Oh, do you mind slipping under there?
All right.
I'd lift it up for you, but it's really heavy, and I don't want shit to spill out.
But just make sure you get both handles.
Do you like Tito's?
She likes Tito's.
All right.
So I'm going to give her one of my Tito's.
That's nice.
Thank you, Blair.
What are you doing?
Oh, he does got to read it.
All right, let's do some plugs really quick,
starting with Larry, of course,
who's going to be back here tomorrow night to discuss his role as Shelly in Friday the 13th 3D.
Who's coming back tomorrow night?
Woo!
Nice.
Great.
I'm very excited.
And what else you got to plug?
Do you want to put out?
Yeah, if you need a lawyer, you can call me.
Zernerlaw.com.
I also have some movies coming out.
I'm in Death House, which is like The Expendables of Horror.
Comes out January 19th.
I have a cameo.
And another movie called
All the Creatures
Are Stirring.
We're Stirring,
which is a horror anthology.
That's cool.
You're back in the acting game?
You're back in the acting game?
No, clients will give me,
clients give me cameos.
Oh, I'll give you a cameo.
All right.
I mean, if I ever make
another movie,
I'll give you a cameo.
I'm in, I kid i mean i'm in
i'm in the you're one of your documentaries oh there you go yeah okay so now i don't have to
i'm off the hook uh rob little what you're here at the kc improv all weekend but where
else can people see your like tour dates and stuff rob little.com so sick so simps
yep did you have fun Dude this was so fun
Everybody was so nice
Thank you for having me
Thank you for being here
And Chris Cubis
What do you got to plug?
Check out my podcast
Canceled
We watched TV shows
That only lasted one season
We are in the middle
Of NBC's Kings
It's weird and
Jesus-y, but also
kind of good.
Alice Warrington's eaten up scenery
is great. ChrisCubasComedy.com
for my tour dates.
Whatever. See me in that lobby.
I'll be drunk.
Yes. Thank you to all of my guests.
Larry Zerner, Rob Little, and Chris Cubas.
I'll be in New Orleans at Cafe Istanbul on November 5th at 420 doing stand-up,
but bring your name tags.
We'll play some games and stuff.
Thanks, you guys.
Yeah, Chris is running to the restroom, I'm sure, after all those beverages.
And as always, thanks to Alamo Drafthouse and you guys for coming out.
As always, the people who didn't put peeves in the Harry Potter movies are a shithead.
It's a strong statement that needs to be made.
This next one's a little bit more frivolous.
Sexual assaulters are a shith now it's time for doug to watch another
talkie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you