Doug Loves Movies - Chris Cubas, Michael Tully and Joe DeRosa guest
Episode Date: May 17, 2017Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Chris Cubas, Michael Tully and Joe DeRosa to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in L.A.,
it's Monday, May 15, 2017, 174 days till Ragnarok, and this is the 31st show we've taped this year.
Applaud.
What's the name tag sitch, you guys?
Okay, good.
We got a few.
They all seem to be 8x10 size,
which is perfect for Los Angeles.
Oh, my God.
There's only one big name tag,
and it's not big at all.
I mean, it's Iron Ryant,
because your name's Ryan?
Yeah.
Okay, good job.
Congratulations, biggest name tag.
I wish the listeners knew
how small your biggest name tag was.
It's like you guys have been
listening to the show and hearing me talk about
name tags being too big and you were like
let's dial it in.
Let's take it down a notch.
I've seen yours before, right?
Too many times? Let's say it again though notch. I've seen yours before, right? Too many times?
Let's say it again, though.
What does it say?
It's ex machina, but what's it say instead?
Ex machinic.
All right.
Very clever.
How you doing over there?
What's yours?
Mike and Tasha made a baby.
Mike and Tasha made a baby?
Is that Tasha next to you?
Yes.
Where's your baby?
It's in there?
Oh, shit.
How far along are you?
Five months. Five months, all right.
Why do people go, yay?
What if she said it's only been a week or two?
Be a little too soon to talk about it.
Well, congratulations, you guys.
And are you naming the baby Doug Loves Movies?
What?
His whole first name is Doug Loves Movies?
You call him DLM for short.
All right.
Thank you for everybody that made a name tag.
I appreciate it.
Doug plugs.
Next Los Angeles Doug Loves Movies taping
is on Tuesday, May 23rd at UCB Franklin at 930
after Put Your Hands Together.
The next night, I'm in Houston at the Improv
and Saturday, May 27th
the LOL Comedy Club
in San Antonio at 420.
Saturdays in June,
Doug Loves Movies will come to
Charlotte, San Francisco,
Boston, and Philly.
For all the dates
and more deets,
go to DougLovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com.
You guys are so professional.
I love it.
Oh, yeah, and the crickets are quiet tonight.
Crickets aren't even trying to get laid tonight.
The prize bag, oh my God.
It's ridiculous.
There's a loot crate in the prize bag.
Yes!
Yeah.
There's also from a young lady
that comes to the show from time to time
and has a company called,
I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly,
Cute Streak.
Right?
Cutestreak.com. Streak.
S-T-R-E-A-K.
Cute Streak Designs made this beautiful
Joe vs. the Volcano poster
that is
basically a volcano that has lots of
orange
orange Fanta.
Right? Because that's what they drank in that movie. Oh, but it says something different on it. It says of orange orange Fanta, right?
Because that's what they drank in that movie.
Oh, but it says something different on it.
It says jump. It was called jump soda in the movie. Wow.
That's so specific.
It's so cute.
Also in the prize bag, this is
exciting.
I can't
believe that somebody's going to win this.
This is the
Florence Foster Jenkins
extended play
45
of five of the amazing
songs performed by Meryl Streep
in the movie
of the same name.
They sent me that to try to promote the movie.
I'm like, I don't know if that's going to work.
Plus, I might mention it a little too late.
Also, a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt,
and the thing you guys are probably most excited about
potentially winning tonight
is one of these Christmas...
It's a Christmassy bong from our friends at Peacemaker.
Yeah.
Someone wrote today on
social media,
I've licked a peppermint dick.
About this.
Because it does look like a
bong, I mean a dildo.
Alright. I dropped my Florence Jenkins. Oh, thank you so much. Are you are you a roadie?
Because you could do it
You'd be good at it, dude
Let me just there you go now it should it shouldn't be a problem
Also, I brought my noise making machine in case in case the crickets were a problem
Let's get my guests out here, what do you say?
They've all brought stuff for the prize bag as well.
Please give a big warm welcome to Chris Cubis,
Mike Tully, and Joe DeRosa. I got the shirt in the trunk.
Well, I got it on, so I win.
All right, for the listeners, the gentleman in the front row
claimed to have Chris Cubis' shirt in the trunk of his car,
and Chris fired back, I have it on, motherfucker.
Is that what you said?
I didn't hit him with a motherfucker. Is that what you said?
I didn't hit him with a motherfucker.
That seemed aggressive up front.
It's still amazing that you guys connected like that.
And I'd like to remind the front row that while they're well illuminated,
they're not part of the show.
And let's say hi to my guests individually,
starting with our first timer.
It's Michael Tully, everybody.
Hello.
Hi.
From the Jason Ellis Show on Faction Talk.
Yeah.
It's Sirius XM 103.
That's right. The show to which you are a weekly contributor. Yeah, I show
up every Tuesday and sit around for three hours
and watch you guys go at it.
It's a lot of fun.
And then you have your own show on the
weekends. Yeah, I got the Tully Show.
Tully Show. Thought of that name all by myself.
And that's
what time Eastern?
Oh, it's a totally desirable
time. I think it's on 10pm.m. Eastern time, Saturday night.
10 p.m., 7 p.m. on the West Coast.
That's right.
Listen to it while you're getting ready to go out, West Coast.
That's what I do.
You listen to your own show?
Sometimes.
Am I not supposed to admit that?
No, I mean...
Do you listen to this podcast?
I don't listen to this shit, no.
I mean, I'll listen to it if? I don't listen to this shit, no. I mean,
I'll listen to it if I have to.
Like, if somebody goes, wow, I can't believe you said
that thing. I'm like, oh, now I gotta listen to it.
Like, what was the thing? See what the
hell it was I said. Probably something
bad about something. But,
for the most part,
podcasters are left alone. We don't get in too much
trouble for saying shit.
Especially when we're kidding.
Just joking around, you guys.
And Tully did what I think is a miraculous thing.
And that is,
your name on Twitter is at Tully.
It is.
That is pretty sweet when somebody has a three, four, five letter Twitter name.
That means you must have got on it immediately,
like the second Twitter started.
Or I was ridiculous enough to pay...
You paid somebody?
Four figures.
No.
For my Twitter name.
I'm on there all day.
Do you know how much time I've saved myself?
That's amazing, though.
My old one was terrible.
When I brought it up,
I didn't expect such a pathetic story.
I could just see the guy,
he tweeted like one thing about hash browns in like 2009
and then never did a goddamn thing.
I got to get a 10 p.m. fucking serious show.
You got the cash flow like that.
That's impressive.
It was not a wise investment.
It was not something I easily afforded.
Which four figures were they?
All the good ones.
Five? Higher than
five? No, no, no, no.
Four figures. No, very, the lowest.
The lowest possible four figure. No, no, no.
The lowest possible four figure. $1,000.
I think I paid $1,000. Okay.
Oh, that's not so bad. You should just say
$1,000 because four figures
leaves it open to all the way up to 9,000 something.
Right.
9,999.
Right.
I paid like a car sticker price for it.
Well, thank you for being here.
And I feel like from having done
the Ellis show with you a bunch of times
that you are,
you know what you know.
You're good at the trivia you know but you're
not like a movie trivia person i think that's a fair assessment i think i have like a like probably
like most people i have like a swiss cheese knowledge of movies there's stuff that i know
and there's stuff that i have no fucking clue that everybody else stuff that you'll forget you
knew because you're sitting up here under the hot lights in the back of a comic book store.
Yes.
And it gets intense.
It's like an inquisition up here.
Visiting us for the second time
on the show, it's Joe DeRosa,
everybody.
Hi, everybody.
Hi, Doug. Hi, Chris.
Hi, Mike. How are you all?
That hasn't happened on the show before. Hi, Doug. Hi, Chris. Hi, Mike. How are you all?
That hasn't happened on the show before.
Someone just saying hello to all of us.
And it's very polite, and I like it.
I appreciate you having me here. It's very nice.
Everybody's usually, it's all about them.
Yeah, because comics are pieces of shit.
No, that's true.
You have a podcast, right?
Yeah, yeah. I have two podcasts, but the one that... You have two of them?
Yes. Oh, that is ridiculous.
The one that relates
most to this show is I have a podcast
on the HeadGum Network
called We'll See You in Hell. It's Patrick
Walsh and myself doing Siskel and Ebert
style reviews of horror, fantasy, and sci-fi movies.
So check it out.
I hope you like it.
It's a lot of fun.
This week's episode was Predators 1 and 2.
Together.
Yeah.
Dude, I just had a thought.
You should come to Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas.
Because it's those three genres pretty much exclusively a whole film festival for like
10 days and it's super fun.
When is it? In September.
This is your festival that you run? No, I don't.
No, I'm just kidding.
I do Douglas movies at it
every year in a movie interruption
and you know
just sort of hang out and have fun because
it's a really cool festival like the most
fucked up movies. Alright. like you know like uh i saw the lobster there way before anybody saw
the lobster yeah so i got to be on that you know most people still haven't seen the lobster that's
so but that's a terrific high horse to get on yeah uh the lobster horse but uh
that's in fact if i were in that movie and had to decide what animal I would be after I die, it would be a lobster horse.
That movie would totally go for that.
That movie fucked me up, man.
It did?
Yeah.
Because I thought it was going to be this kind of Wes Anderson goofy comedy kind of thing.
And then by the end of it, I was like, I want to die right now.
I felt hopeless. Our friend of the show, like I want to die right now the show I
argue with him about it all the time our friend Trey galleon thinks it's
hilarious and I find it very unpleasant it's terribly what he thinks it's
hilarious it's really funny what what I mean. It is listed as a comedy on IMDb.
That was like when Birdman came
out. And all the trailers for Birdman
made it look like it was all pictures of
Michael Keaton walking like this.
And you're like, this is going to be hilarious.
And then you're like, oh my Christ.
The biggest laugh in that movie is Zach
Alvin Axe is saying, Martin Scorsese.
It's like the funniest part.
Thank you for being here, Joe.
And also joining us is Chris Cubis.
I would like it
known that the guy who has the same shirt
as me is also drinking a 40 of
Bud Light in the front row.
So we're pretty much in the same wavelength.
He's not messing around, but he's also kind of
messing around.
That's his lifestyle.
You're like one of the kids from Stranger Things
grown up.
You know, those kids, they can't possibly
live normal lives, but they also
aren't going to live incredible lives.
They're just...
It's on my mind because I just finished it today, finally.
Yeah, I just finished Stranger Things
and I really liked it a lot.
Yeah, it's great.
I don't know how excited I am for a second season
because it's like, why couldn't it just be a thing
that just, you know, eight of them and it ends?
You know, like, why does it have to be like,
oh, but then this happened
so maybe there's more story to tell.
Because you want to see those kids in, like, nice suits at the Emmys or whatever again.
Remember?
That was so cool.
That's true.
That black kid was in, like, a stylish-ass suit.
You don't even have to fucking make movies.
Just have him show up every once in a while in a suit.
I'll be like, all right, the world's not shit.
You're so happy for any black youth that's wearing a suit. It while in a suit. I'd be like, alright. The world's not shit. You're so happy for any black youth
that's wearing a suit and not
walking through the back
of a neighborhood with some Skittles.
Oh my lord.
You thought the lobster
was fucked up. Shit just got real dark
in here.
But that's like they just
renewed. I was on BloodyDisgusting.com and they were I was on bloodydisgusting.com
and they were all
excited on
Bloody Disgusting
they were like
they renewed
The Exorcist
for another season
it's like
they got the demon
out in two hours
in the movie
how many fucking
episodes of the show
are you gonna do?
I would also like
to say that
I did not know
The Exorcist
was a show
I didn't know
there was an
Exorcist show
until I saw
it was renewed
for a second season
I was like what?
It stars
Geena Davis No it doesn't like, what? It stars Gina Davis.
No, it doesn't.
No, it does not.
It stars...
She uses archery
to fight the devil.
The cutthroat island.
It stars Gina Davis
and the guy that played Cameron
in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Alan Ruck.
Alan Ruck.
Alan Ruck, yes, yes.
From the Bunheads.
Who I always mix up
with Alan Tudyk.
First of all, it's two dick.
Two dicks?
Yeah, don't fuck with two dicks.
I'm not fucking with two dicks.
I just, their names I always mix up.
Whenever somebody says Alan Ruck,
I always think they mean Alan Two Dicks.
All right, well.
Maybe now, finally, you'll get it straight.
Yeah. Because one of their names. Probably gets it straighter than get it straight. Yeah.
Because one of their names...
Probably gets it straighter than two dicks.
Yeah.
One of their names is more fun than the other one,
that's for sure.
I know.
Ruck is a fun word, isn't it?
You don't want to get stuck in a ruck.
Let's talk prize bag, you guys.
We'll start with the newbie, see what he's got. Okay, all right. What do you have for the prize bag, you guys. We'll start with the newbie, see what he's got.
Okay, all right.
What do you have for the prize bag, Michael?
Well, let's see, I got a couple things.
My wife is out of town.
My wife!
So I took advantage of the opportunity
to clear out our DVD book.
Your DVD book!
I got a lot.
A raw stack of DVDs with no cases. No condoms on the DVDs. And I got zero cases. A raw stack of DVDs. I got a lot of DVDs.
No condoms on the DVD.
And I got zero cases.
There's some good stuff in here.
I got the American Idol movie from Justin Dicheli.
Oh, I see.
I have a Coolio vehicle.
And I have a-
Hold on, slow down.
Which, what is that?
Hold on.
Tapped Out, I think it's called.
There's a lot of movies.
What?
Tapped Out?
Tapped Out.
Tapped Out. There it is.
Oh, boy. Wait, don't deprive the
audience of the face of this DVD.
This is a very
serious
Coolio. I thought you were referring
to this one, MXP,
Most Extreme Primate.
Shit.
That's all right, dude. It's just the
Coolio movie. So you bought these in the first place?
At some point, you were like, oh, tapped out.
That looks good.
And then you brought it home?
No, I think I got that as a screener.
For your Oscar consideration?
I vote for the Oscars, yeah.
So Coolio was at the house pretty solidly for a while there.
This looks like hush money from the shittiest video store on Earth.
You didn't see nothing.
Take this, fucker.
The only thing missing from that bag
is like sweat at the bottom.
It looks like it should have
a homemade handgun inside of it.
I got a candle that smells like Skittles.
Oh, I'm in.
That's right.
Now you can smell the rainbow.
Oh, because I wanted to get something
somebody might actually want.
Here is a gift certificate to Meltdown.
For how much?
We don't need to get into dollar figures.
Well, how many figures?
Low four figures.
Where's the decimal point in those figures?
That's nice.
Yeah, that's much nicer than what I got.
Way nicer.
Yeah, now we got a double bag situation.
It's much nicer than what I got.
Way nicer.
Yeah, now we got a double bag situation. Anyway.
Don't scratch those DVDs, sir.
It made a nice noise when it hit the ground.
What do you got, Joe, besides a coyote laugh?
Sorry.
I'm auditioning for Gotham next week to play one of your villains.
I have two books for my personal book collection.
And I have put an inscription in both books.
Oh, that's nice.
But then I just put the salutation at the end,
and then you can just sign your name.
And then give these to somebody.
So I'd like you, Doug, to read the title of the book
and then the inscription in each.
And see if anybody is interested in this.
All right.
Stravinsky, A New Appraisal of His Work,
edited by Paul Henry Lang.
And then you wrote right inside here,
OMG, this book is so us.
Then parentheses skip to chapter three
and you'll see what I mean.
Hugs.
Comma.
And so the idea is you write your own name in
and then give it to a friend of yours.
Whenever that's appropriate.
Okay.
It's always great when the first one bombs
and you still have to do the second one.
It didn't bomb.
It did okay.
Public speaking as listeners like it
by Richard C. Borden.
That book looks like,
like it's so old,
it looks like the first advice is going to be
start with a Polack joke.
So, Joe wrote in, hey girl.
Hope this helps with the big presentation.
Kill it. And, kill it,
and land that account, boo.
See, that's a good one.
XOXOXO.
So, yeah, that's a great way
to present public speaking as listeners
like it. Yeah, there you go.
Very good.
What do you got for us there, Chris Cubis?
I have the award-winning soundtrack
to the movie The Bodyguard.
What, on cassette?
Yes, they're both on cassette.
Because cassette's making a comeback.
Hipsters are super into cassette.
Fuck vinyl.
Cassette is where it's at.
Cassette's where it's at.
It's a collector's item.
I also have the soundtrack.
It just says songs from the cool world.
The movie Cool World.
So it might not be every song.
I don't know all of them, but it's a few of them.
And I have a third one, but Joe DeRosa stole it.
I didn't steal it.
I gave it to him. He didn't steal it.
I collect vintage hip-hop,
media, cassettes, CDs, vinyl.
And he had the break-in soundtrack.
And this nerd was like,
there's an unreleased Ice-T song on there.
I need to have that.
And I was like, if I had money,
I'll go get money and give it to you right now
to buy that from you.
And he said, you can just have it,
because I was just going to put it into the gift bag.
But the stipulation was I had to tell you guys,
because it would be such a hilarious segment
that we're doing right now.
They work out.
What's on the
Cool World soundtrack,
by the way?
I don't know.
Confused people.
Oh, it's already in the bag
so it's too late
to check it out.
God damn it.
I think there's like
a Bowie song
and maybe,
I don't know,
a modem noise
or something weird like that. Those are the modem noise or something weird like that?
Those are the good Bowie years.
93, 94.
That's your choice, Bowie.
Alright, I have a question for each of you.
We'll start with Chris.
What was the last movie you saw?
I finally
saw Fate of the Furious, like three days ago.
I'm so glad you got around to that.
It was, somehow it hadn't been spoiled.
Like, I didn't know.
In my head, Vic was still a traitor.
I didn't know what had happened.
Well, yeah, you just go to the dark side.
He just had an ugly baby and then everything was fine.
Oh, fuck you.
His baby was not cute.
But I will say the best thing in that movie
by far is
that The Rock is just
like a superhero.
When he starts curling that desk.
He can do anything. He curls a desk?
He takes a concrete desk
out of a wall. He rips it from a wall
in jail
and he just stares Jason Statham in the eyes
and starts doing curls with it.
It's the craziest.
It's so good.
And also, it's crazier than the fact
that he also kicks a torpedo out of the way at one point.
That movie's the shit.
That's how torpedoes are.
They're like sharks.
If you punch them on the nose,
it'll totally leave you alone.
That fucking torpedo.
Well, I'm glad you finally saw it.
I also saw the trailer for Baywatch,
which is, that's fine.
Right?
I don't need this.
That's essentially seeing the movie Baywatch, right?
I don't know.
I would hope a tit or a dick would flop out.
I would hope there's something
that they can't show in the trailer.
I think the trailer at the beginning
says graphic nudity,
so I'm just like already quinging like,
oh, is it just gonna be some old man's balls?
Yeah, yeah, it's definitely gonna be old balls.
God damn it.
I hate when they do that.
It's dirty grandpa's balls.
Mike, what was the last movie you saw?
I'm not sure how to answer that.
I tried and failed. Maybe the last movie you saw I'm not sure how to answer that I tried and failed
maybe the last movie you saw
I tried and failed this afternoon
to watch La La Land
tried and failed?
how far did you get into it were you like
they're fucking up traffic goodbye
I mean I was
deeply suspicious about 60 seconds
and I like to think of myself as a
fairly whimsical person,
but I could not summon nearly the amount of whimsy necessary to make it through La La Land.
It was a lot more musically than I expected,
which in retrospect, pretty dumb.
Yeah, that's on you,
that you didn't know La La Land had a lot of music in it.
Yeah, I turned it off.
The last movie I saw the way through,
I went to the theater and saw Citizen Kane.
All right, well, so I to the theater and saw Citizen Kane. All right.
Well, so I guess you kind of redeemed yourself with that move.
We get it.
You're smart.
Yeah, you don't want as much dumb people running around singing in Los Angeles.
Going to Citizen Kane is funny because you have to confront the fact that you're the
kind of person who would go see Citizen Kane in a theater.
Like half the guys there
had both a ponytail and a fedora.
Were there laughs like in the theater?
Oh, we laughed, we cried.
It became a part of us, Doug.
Those last two things aren't true,
but did you laugh, really?
Are there any jokes in it?
Nothing that would make you like laugh
audibly there's a couple funny little bits I may have turned up the corner
right after he bench presses the desk
all right Joe what was the last movie you saw?
The last movie I saw in full was on the airplane down to Dallas.
I watched The Founder.
Oh, that just came up on a show recently,
and I found out from the person who saw The Founder
that apparently The Founder was a bit of a dick.
Yeah, again, like Birdman.
Michael Keaton swoops in.
You're like, I want to feel good.
By the end of it, you're like,
I don't know what to do with myself.
Honestly, I love McDonald's.
I love fast food.
I make no bones about it.
I'm conflicted about ever eating at McDonald's ever again.
That's how much of a dick the founder is.
Because he kind of took somebody's restaurant
and franchised it and made it a success
without involving them in it?
That's the sort of halfway point
where you're like,
I could still eat Chicken McNuggets.
This isn't so bad.
And then it goes in a whole other direction
in the third act,
and you're like, oh my Jesus.
There's like scenes of him going,
we'll have a clown,
and so children will love it,
and then that clown will claim to cure children's cancer, and then everyone will love that.
There's a scene where they're like, Ray Kroc, that's Michael Keaton's character, Ray, the coffee, it's so hot, what if an old lady burns the skin off her legs?
And he's like, fuck the old ladies, make it hot!
So I'm with him at this point.
What's the bad type part?
I'll tell you the thing at the end. I mean, it's not really a secret.
Do you care if I give you the little card?
We were just discussing this the other day.
Can you spoil a movie that's about a guy
who's come and gone and
we still eat at a stupid restaurant?
This is the big thing at the end.
Sorry, guys. Plug yours if you don't want to hear it.
So he finally buys
them out of the original McDonald's so he can do whatever he wants.
He gives them $1.4 million each.
You're like, all right, whatever.
He does a handshake deal with them.
He goes, you have my word.
You will get 1% of the profits for the rest of your lives for McDonald's.
Then they have to change the name of their restaurant, McDonald's, which is literally their name, to M's because they're not allowed to use the name McDonald's anymore.
And if that's not enough, he opens a McDonald's across the street from it.
It shuts them down.
Puts them out of business?
Yeah, puts them out of business.
And then the final card is they never got their money from the handshake deal.
Oh, no.
It would be worth today $100 million
per year.
It's a downer.
I still got
a quarter pounder on the flight home.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm only so strong.
It's a great flick though. Keaton's fucking
great at it. Oh, okay. So it's good.
Oh, it's fantastic. It's just
not a pick-me-up.
Yeah, I just also you know, it's fantastic. It's just not a pick-me-up. Yeah, I just also, you know,
it's funny that you were worried about spoiling it for people.
Like, there's anyone that's, like,
fucking blew off a theatrical release,
and now it's been available, I don't know for how long,
you know, in other formats,
and that anyone is still like,
no, no, no, I don't want to know about the founder.
I think a lot of people listening right now
are pretty much hearing the most
about the founder they've ever heard.
You know, it was just a movie
that just didn't connect with anybody, really.
Who used to do, what stand-up used to do that?
It's sort of like a hacky joke now,
but at one time it was very original,
but there was a stand-up that did a joke
where he goes, I just saw Jesus Christ Superstar.
He dies at the end.
I just like that joke.
I just saw Rocky.
He has a personal victory at the end.
I mean, that movie, when you look back on it
you just
it's easy to assume
he wins the big fight
but he doesn't even win
no
he's not even the winner
his heart wins
because he gets Adrian
yeah
yeah
it's
that's why the Rocky 2 sucks
I love the Rocky franchise
I'm from Philadelphia
I will watch all the movies
whatever I don't like 4 I think 4 is really Philadelphia. I will watch all the movies, whatever.
I don't like four.
I think four is really stupid.
But I will watch any of the other ones whenever they're on.
And five?
I like five because I like that they go back.
He's got the flashback of Mickey.
I cry at the end every time when he's street fighting Tommy the Machine Gun.
Yes.
And he's on the ground and you hear Mickey's ghost go, I didn't hear no bell.
And then the fucking Rocky music starts playing
and he gets up and up.
And you realize he has full-blown CTE.
I just got chills.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You realize his brain is damaged beyond belief.
Actually, Pauly never existed,
was always a figment of his imagination.
Yeah, he's like, I was a boxer.
They're like, what are you talking about?
No, you weren't.
You're never a boxer.
All right, well, great answers, all of you.
And Bert, turn the show off, because it's time for me to say,
let the games begin!
Let's begin!
Woo!
People made some name tags.
They're hard to spot and very small.
But each of you needs to pick one that you're going to play for.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after this spoken word message by me.
Hey, no sponsors this episode.
So I'd like to tell you about some road dates.
Doug Loves Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater
in New York City on June 26th.
The Improv in Kansas City, Missouri, July 2nd.
And Doug Loves Movies returns to Talia Hall
in Chicago on Wednesday, August 23rd.
DougLovesMvies.com.
Back to the show.
We're back.
Great job, everybody.
Three out of the ten name tags were chosen.
And let's start with Chris, who picked up one that's...
Is this the first time it's been picked?
Yes.
Yes, all right.
He's been here many times.
It's got like a...
Is that like a resin stain?
There's like a brown,
like a shitty thumbprint on the bottom of this.
It's Ex Machina is who I'm playing for.
And it's Ex Machina and she's smoking a joint.
Yeah, she's got a big fat joint.
Big fatty.
It was the closest sign to my fatness.
So I just picked that one.
That's when you know robots are going to be
dangerously out of control,
is when they start enjoying weed.
When they're sentient enough to enjoy drugs,
you're going to be like,
oh shit, robots are here to stay.
What do you got there, Tully?
I have Anna Fair to remember. Anna, see what there, Tully? I have Anna
Fair to remember.
Anna, see what she did there?
That's very clever. You like that
old black and white movies, right?
Cary Grant is, I think, the greatest movie actor
who ever lived. Really? Yeah.
I don't think he's going to come up again today
at all.
How about Orson Welles?
How many Cary Grant movies could you name, Mike Tully?
Oh, boy.
Sitting here under the hot lights, it would be tough.
How many do you think you could do?
15, pretty easy.
Really?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Chris Cubis?
How many?
What's this one called?
I got a solid two.
Joe DeRosa, how are you on the films of Cary Grant?
Yeah, like two, maybe three.
Not 15.
I don't know.
I always feel embarrassed to say that because I know he's like a legend.
I feel like I should know more of his movies.
No, they're pretty much all the same movie.
Really?
Yeah.
A lot of them.
He's always running through a field
and a crop duster flies over.
That was my second one.
He's always hanging off the nose of a president
of Mount Rushmore.
His Girl Friday, that's the only other one I can think of.
Bringing Up Baby.
Is he in the Philadelphia story?
He was, yes. He sure was.
Him and Jimmy Stu.
Suspicion, Notorious, I Was a. He sure was. Him and Jimmy Stu. Yeah.
Suspicion, Notorious, I Was a Male War Bride.
The list goes on.
Yeah.
I believe you could do 15 of them.
I don't even want to hear it.
No, I know.
Nobody does.
I capped it at three.
I totally believe you, but there'll probably be more contemporary actors brought up in
the games today.
What do you got there, Joe?
Honestly,
it's the...
First of all, it's a play
on I Am Legend, and the guy's name is Liam,
so it says Liam
Legend, but it's Liam Legend.
It's hands down the shittiest
one in the entire audience.
He took a magazine and put post-it
notes on it. the pot leaf has
nothing to do with i am legend he put post-it notes on that he taped this one is ripped in half
there appears to be blood on the l the l appears to have blood on it
uh but i picked this because i did dana gould's podcast earlier today with my friend Matt who has the Monster
Party podcast and we talked about
I Am Legend. I can't remember if it was on or off air
but we talked a lot about I Am Legend today
and I was like, well, that seems like a sign
so I'm going to do that one. What did you
decide about I Am Legend? I
have argued frequently with
many fans. I know none of the, there were
three adaptations of the book. A
Vincent Price one, a Charlton Heston one, and and a Will Smith one there's a fourth one that's
just terrible oh is that the one that Cary Grant was in yeah yeah the asylum
did it I don't care for these zombies but I will say constantly and people
argue I go look I know the CGI sucks but the Will Smith version of it is the most
enjoyable, solid telling of the
story. It's not accurate to the book,
but none of them are accurate to the book.
The Price one is
spooky until you watch Vincent Price
have to fist fight, which looks
fucking ridiculous.
Which is one of the things we were talking about today.
The Charlton Heston one is just him being like,
I could still get laid.
But the Will Smith one, you feel bad for him.
He's got a dog.
He's fucking attached to the dog.
Wait, is the Charlton Heston one Omega Man?
Yeah.
Okay.
And that's a great flick, but it's not better than Iron Legend.
That's my favorite.
I like it better than the Will Smith one.
Why?
Because there's a white guy who has sex with a black lady.
Will Smith one. Why?
Because there's a white guy who has sex with a black lady.
There's a lot of movies I can show you that have that in them.
Better than Omega Man.
No, I just, Omega Man has,
you know, I guess there's more
than one character in I Am Legend,
but I Am Legend is a lot of Will Smith.
Why would he go around talking
to white mannequins and shit? It doesn't make any sense. They don't make a lot of black smith like why would he go around talking or talking to white mannequins
and like it doesn't make any sense they don't make a lot of black mannequins honestly
have you been in the stores all right mostly beige all right let me take it back why is he
talking to mannequins because he's coming unglued that's what i like about it you know like i didn't
think they captured that the other dude the heston one he's living in like this plush he
does seem to enjoy it.
He's like screening movies at the
theater and he's having a nice time.
In the Heston one, he has
the darkest place you can
go, a movie theater, where the whole thing
is stay out of the dark because they're fucking
sensitive to sun, yet he goes and watches a movie
by himself in the dark every day.
Which doesn't make sense. But he has
a mannequin at his dinner table in that one.
And at the beginning, he comes home
and the mannequin's sitting there
and he sits down with no shirt on and he goes,
he goes, I'm sorry, it's Sunday.
I always dress for dinner on Sunday.
And then he goes to the other room
and comes back like all dressed up
for the mannequin in his house,
which I think he may or may not fuck.
At some point.
I wouldn't be surprised.
You know what?
I do like that one the best.
You're right.
He fucks a mannequin.
I'm glad I turned you around on that.
Let's start tonight with a game
that we've only played once before on the show
and it went over like gangbusters
and if you were here for that, you know
why there's a whole drum
set up over here.
You didn't even see the drums over there.
Let's do some drum lines with
Tony.
Tony Thaxton is here. Hey Tony. Hello. Thank you for being here and wearing your
red pants. And he is gonna play a riff from a movie on the drums. And you guys
have to guess, you can guess as often as you like, what movie it's from. He'll
have a second riff ready to go
if nobody gets it right on the first one is that right tony yeah do we buzz in with our names no
you just say it yeah just say you just yell just scream so loud no one can hear the drums and
you can dominate the game hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks
what's that hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks. What's that? Hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks.
It's true.
Yes.
Yeah, no, it's interesting.
When I first brought the idea to Tony, he was like,
oh, I haven't really, it's hard to think of drum licks
that people would remember from movies.
Yeah, I wanted to do it.
I said yes, but then I thought about it,
and this is not easy to come up with.
It's not easy, yeah.
So he worked, how much time do you think he put into it a solid five minutes at least five minutes yeah took
him five minutes to think of this so show some respect and what are you what's
going on with you these days Tony what's what's coming up to people who come see
your participate in well if people long listeners of the show and made know that
I was in a band called motion city Soundtrack. Yes, you were.
Nice. I wasn't
fishing, but thank you.
And I now sometimes,
my fiance has a band called Tiny Stills
and I play drums in that occasionally.
And there's currently a Kickstarter
for the new record.
So just go to Kickstarter and
search Tiny Stills is the name of that band.
And it's going to the end of the month, May 31st.
So, yeah, going to play drums on that record.
Right on.
Help them out.
Make it happen, you guys.
Tiny Stills.
And are you ready to do this?
Yeah.
This is going to be interesting because like last time,
I think the first one is going to mean nothing to anybody.
Okay. That's interesting. Let's see what kind of guesses we i think the first one is going to mean nothing to anybody okay
and then we'll play a second riff he'll do a second riff if necessary all right tony look good feel good Is this like a dirty dancing thing?
Whiplash!
Drum line.
Pretty drumming at all, yeah.
Just mentioned drum movies.
But wait a minute.
Now, does that...
I'm confused about something
because I've never played this game.
Does it appear in the movie just as the drums or is there music over that oh there's probably also music but I don't
want Tony to have to answer that because the second riff is gonna put it over the
top here let's hope let's say it's the second one from the same movie? Yeah. Okay. Ready? Yeah.
I got it! I got it! I got it!
That thing you do. Yep.
Yeah! That thing you do!
Well done. Do some more of that one. Very good.
Love it!
Woo!
Good job, Joe DeRosa.
Thank you.
You win that game, but since they're so hard for Tony to come up with
and so fun to play, I said, give us a second one tonight.
And he was like, what?
Yeah, he asked me this as I'm walking out the door of home, pretty much.
Yeah, and you've got to be at home near your...
Why do you need to come up with these?
How do you do it?
You need your movie collection?
All right, so let's just do another one for fun.
All right, again, might be the same way.
First one might be tough, and I hope you can get the second one.
Yeah, I love it.
That's how this game should work.
I tell Mark Wahlberg that all the time.
It's pretty, I mean, it's pretty, what is that, Foghat?
Well, there is no music over that part okay oh okay
do you want to do it one more time I don't think it'll help but sure okay
all right I like it Give us the second one.
All right.
Is that like a Mad Max thing?
It sounds like that song,
well,
let me tell you
that I want to
raise.
What song is it?
You know what song
I'm talking about?
It sounds like that song
where Joe DeRosa
had a stroke.
No,
that goddamn,
that song,
that band,
that indie rock band,
there's a girl
who's the singer.
Oh,
let me tell you
that I want to
raise.
Fuck.
That was a fucking famous song.
Yeah, it sounds like that famous Yeah Yeah Yeah song.
Okay, all right.
I can see it a little bit.
I got nothing.
Yeah, that was a tough one.
What is it?
Does anybody think they know it?
Oh, there's a second row of young ladies.
What? No, not almost. second row of young ladies. What?
No, not almost.
No?
First row?
The Thing?
The Thing.
Interesting.
It is another movie about a band.
Really?
I'll give that clue.
Spinal Tap?
Can you give us one more?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, what do you think it is, Joe?
No, no, no.
He said it.
He said Spinal Tap, which is the right movie, yes.
It's Spinal Tap?
This is Spinal Tap?
Yeah, it was Big Bottom.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Well, that was anticlimactic, right?
Tony Thaxton, everybody.
Hey.
Tiny Stills.
Just throwing that in there one more time.
All right, so since Joe got that first one right,
he's the official winner of that game.
So we're going to start with Joe on a round of
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Okay.
Joe gets to go first, then we'll go to Tully,
and then Chris.
And Joe, all you got to do is tell me what movie this is the tagline for, according to IMDb.
It's on the poster or in an advertisement for the movie.
Okay.
What movie went with the tagline, it's hotter than hell?
So you got to think about this this it's obviously very hot
god damn it
it's warmer than a fictional place
it's hotter than hell
and that's the only clue I get
I don't get a genre
that's all you get
why do you need a genre for
do you think it's a romantic comedy?
It's hotter than hell.
I know this is wrong.
I feel like it's Tropic Thunder.
Okay, that's incorrect.
Yeah.
You were right about being wrong.
Michael Tully?
That it is definitely Lambada the Forbidden Dance.
Oh, it's not definitely that, but very clever answer.
Chris.
Dante's Peak.
Ooh.
That is a really good guess.
Also incorrect.
The answer is Volcano.
Oh, son of a bitch!
I was going to say volcano, but I assumed that was like an L.A.-based tagline.
That's ridiculous.
It's exactly as hot as hell.
Hey, you know that for sure?
Lava and hell are equal?
Isn't hell lava?
I guess so.
With more S and M?
This could be...
Alright, so nobody got that one,
so we'll start with Joe again.
And
the tagline for this
movie is, whatever you
do, don't look back.
Whatever you do, don't look back. Is it the movie don't look yeah usually the movie titles not in
the tagline it is every once in a while but certainly not in this game well it could be
the way I should ever cry sure we're playing maybe the way I pictured it. For a crisis we're playing, maybe. The way I pictured it was over the title,
Don't Look Back.
It said, whatever you do, dot, dot, dot,
and then the title, Don't Look Back.
Well, I apologize.
I should have read it correctly.
Whatever you do, comma, don't look back.
So I see where you'd get thrown off.
You don't have to be mean about it.
It's very hard.
It's not an easy game.
Mike?
What was the fault line movie?
San Andreas?
Oh, that's...
No.
Is there a theme?
What's that?
Is there a theme?
I don't know.
It could be.
What do you think it is, Chris?
I'm going to go with It Follows.
That's the tagline from Dante's Peak.
Are you serious?
Fuck me.
Son of a bitch.
Also, why?
Why is that the tagline of Dante's Peak?
Because if you look back, the lava's on you.
Oh, if you look back to see where the lava is.
I'm under lava.
If I'd have kept running instead of looking back.
You should be looking back.
You should constantly be looking back to see where the lava is.
You gotta keep tabs on that lava.
You pretty much set your pace by it, I'd imagine.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a very Seinfeldian delivery on that.
You gotta keep pace on that lava.
I did that on purpose.
I like yelling things like side effects.
There's a scene in that movie
That sounded like a
King of the Hill character.
There's a scene in that movie
where the
grandmother
has to walk
into the lava
and die.
It is so depressing.
So does the dude,
no, which one is the one
where the dude from
Drew Carey slash Zodiac
walks into the lava?
Is that Volcano?
There's a Drew Carey
slash Zodiac person?
Yeah, so Mimi Bobeck's husband
is one of the suspects in Zodiac.
He jumps off a volcano.
He melts as he's saving a kid
in the subway.
Holy shit.
I know those movies, I just don't know the fucking taglines.
I apologize.
We're going to start with Joe again.
You guys are doing great.
Joe, what movie has the tagline?
Oceans rise, cities fall, hope survives.
The Day After Tomorrow.
No.
Fuck.
Damn it.
MT.
If I remember correctly, the mine apocalypse was 2012?
Oh.
No.
Chris. remember correctly the mine apocalypse was 2012? Oh. No. This is not my answer, but I was
about to be like, if it's Joe versus the volcano,
I'd be very angry if Joe has to guess that.
My guess is
you said day after tomorrow.
You said whatever. And it's
oceans rise, cities fall.
We know the tagline for Joe versus the volcano is
jump soda, it refreshes. Oceans rise. We know the tagline for Joe versus a volcano is jump soda, it refreshes.
Oceans rise, cities fall, hope survives.
There's a flood.
It's about, there's a character named Hope.
Well, it's not Hope Floats.
She's the only one that wins.
It's definitely not Hope Floats.
But the oceans rise, maybe it is Hope Floats.
I'm going to say...
Chicago Hope.
No, I'm going to say...
Deep Impact.
That is correct.
Woo!
See, but now here's what bothers me
about that tagline.
Deep Impact is about a fucking asteroid
hitting the Earth. You don't think oceans. Deep Impact is about a fucking asteroid hitting the Earth.
You don't think oceans with Deep Impact?
True. I did.
So why is that?
Does that happen in the movie?
The whole movie is about them and the spaceship.
Yeah, no.
The asteroid hits and it makes the...
There's a big flood and fucking Elijah Wood
has to run from it. Is it Elijah Wood? There's a kid in it.
I don't remember.
Alright, Joe.
Here's your next one.
Heads up.
God damn it.
I know it's another flooding one.
Heads up.
What's the... Heads up.
Heads up.
Do you give up?
No.
The day after tomorrow, I'll be going with that again.
No.
Okay.
Mike?
I had no idea.
The Sandlot.
It's that, isn't it?
Chris?
I'm not going to dignify that with a yes or no.
All right.
Chris?
I'm going to try to stick with a theme.
Okay.
And heads up.
I think that can't be Armageddon. I'm going to say to stick with a theme. Okay. And heads up, that can't be Armageddon.
I'm going to say San Andreas for heads up.
What?
Why?
Fuck you, man.
What?
What do you think it is?
No, don't ask him.
Don't drag him into it.
I don't know.
The correct answer is Armageddon.
Son of a bitch!
That's the... What?
Alright, that makes me very angry.
Why?
It's just real shitty what you're doing tonight, Doug.
Alright, here's an easy one for you, Joe.
I don't believe you.
I don't believe you.
I don't know any more disaster movies. Here's a real easy one.
The tagline for San Andreas was,
this movie's called San Andreas.
And that will be the tagline for the day after tomorrow.
What movie, Joe, had the tagline,
one man could lead this team to glory,
that man was busy.
Yeah, it's supposed to be funny.
Tropic Thunder.
No. God damn it.
God damn it. The Elephant Man.
Is that your guess, Michael?
What Joe said?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going with Joe's answer.
Is it right this time?
Yeah, no.
I don't know.
Nixon?
That's not a bad guess.
Chris?
Okay.
One man could lead this team to glory.
That man was busy.
He was busy.
Whatever.
He's clearly not even in the movie.
Sure. But he probably is. He was busy, whatever. He's clearly not even in the movie. Sure.
He's busy doing another movie.
I'm going to say
Towering Inferno.
Why would they have a joke?
Fuck you.
I don't know, man.
Why would Heads Up be for Armageddon?
I'm just saying disaster movies.
Because it was about an asteroid hurtling
towards Earth, Armageddon.
Yeah, that's true. It was funny that you dismissed
it so easily.
There's like a team of firefighters
that Heads Up is the only one that's made any fucking
sense so far.
One Man Can Lead the Way. That man was busy.
It's from the Will Ferrell
comedy, Kicking and Screaming.
Oh, so we've just
abandoned the theme. Or he's a soccer coach.
Well, it was a bit of a disaster.
It was a bit of a disaster.
Do you know
how excited Doug just got
when you started going that's not a
that doesn't make sense he was like here comes
my line
it was not planned in advance
though I promise you that
it was a happy accident
whenever you have a baby
so Joe
yes
what do you think this movie's a tagline for?
Anxiety loves company.
Analyze this.
No.
Fuck.
But I want to say briefly,
I am not caught up
to where you would be
but you appeared on
Better Call Saul
yes
that's awesome
yeah
yeah
I've been
yeah
yeah
we went into
the early season
though right
yeah I've been in
since the beginning
only a couple
episodes per season
but they keep
bringing me back
so it's nice
oh you've been
in every season
yeah yeah
because I haven't
watched any of it yet
well then yeah you wouldn't. Well, then, yeah.
You wouldn't have seen me then.
But yeah,
I've been in all three seasons.
All right. That's the show
I've got to get into. Yeah, I actually got to
just, I finally did a scene with Bob
Odenkirk, which was really cool. That was
really fucking fun. The whole
thing's been very fun. That's awesome.
Yeah, yeah. I'm very happy for you, and'm gonna check it out thank you but I'm more interested
in what this movie is the it's not analyzed this Tully you got any ideas
any Hall no but a Woody Allen movies not not a bad guess. Yeah. Well, there's only a couple of those.
Which is the one where he molested his daughter?
Anxiety.
I don't remember which movie.
Oh, hold on.
Anxiety loves company.
Man, I want to say Analyze That so bad.
But I'm going to say High Anxiety.
It's from a movie called
Kicking and Screaming.
Oh, the drama one?
From 1996.
Alright, so
I think Chris is the only one that got
right answers in that.
I got one.
Right answer.
You got one? I got one.
And who else got one?
Nobody.
Yeah, so Chris wins that game.
I had a tiebreaker
ready to go,
but I'm going to save it
for another episode.
No, I'll just do it.
Nobody's tying in that game.
It happens sometimes.
But I'll just do it
and you guys all
just yell out
when you think you know it.
Okay.
Every dog happens for a reason.
Marley and me.
Kicking and screaming.
A dog's purpose.
A dog's purpose is right.
We kind of jinxed.
Both said it.
Thank you. Can I have the point on that one?
There's no point.
That was just for fun. That's why I gave it to one, Joe. Thank you. Can I have the point on that one? There's no point. That was just for fun.
That's why I gave it to you. A bunch of shit.
I'm going to do that
one on a future show and
no one on the panel
will know it from having
heard this because no one who comes on this show
listens to this show.
That's a really easy one, though. Works out pretty good.
For a tiebreaker. That's
pretty easy. Right. There's not that easy one, though. Works out pretty good. For a tiebreaker, that's pretty easy. Right?
There's not that many heartfelt dog movies.
Are there any not heartfelt dog movies?
No, but I mean like...
Just dogs being a part of it.
I fucking cried at Hotel for Dogs in my hotel room the other day.
But you know that that's not Hotel for Dogs, my point.
You know it's either Marley and me or a dog.
I was like, if they don't get that conveyor belt up and going again,
these dogs are going to starve.
And then Don Cheadle walks in, I'm like,
is this Hotel Rwanda for Dogs?
I always say that's the laziest title for a movie I've ever heard.
Hotel for Dogs is the laziest title ever.
Only to be topped by A Hologram for the King.
What's this movie about?
A Hologram for the King.
Well, I mean, as long as we're going after Tom Hanks,
the worst title in my book is Larry Crown.
Like, who gives a fuck about Larry Crown?
I mean, Forrest Gump, that was a weird name and a weird dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Larry Crown's a regular name and a regular dude.
Why am I going to see this?
His name's Larry and he's got a bicycle.
That's all we know for sure.
All right, let's play a little game called
Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
Yeah.
Bennington's adjusted for inflation bureau game
yeah
so we said Chris won that last
thing so Chris gets to go first and then we'll
go to Tully and then to Joe
and basically the idea
is Chris I'm going to say the name of
an actor or actress and you're
going to tell me what you think might be in their
top three hopefully
you want the number one movie that they've been in,
box office-wise, domestic, total, after being adjusted for inflation.
It's a lot of fucking ladies.
By boxofficemojo.com.
Okay.
So the first name, and like I said, you go individually, and Chris gets the first crack at it.
Billy Bob Thornton.
Ooh.
BBT.
BBT.
I'm going to say.
What's in his top three?
I'm going to say.
I love BBT.
Armageddon.
Yeah, you know me.
Okay, what do you got for us there, Tully?
The first Bad Santa?
God damn it.
That's what...
Suck it to Rosa.
Okay, Joe, so Bad Santa's taken.
What else do you think?
Billy Bob Thornton.
I'm going to roll the dice on Monster's Ball. Oh, okay.
Box office bonanza.
I'm sure that made a lot of money.
It got nominated. People around the block
waiting for rape.
It got nominated for things.
It won an award. Okay, you're right.
So maybe. Okay. It's either that
or a simple plan, and I don't think it's a simple
plan. Is there rape in that movie or
is she just not enjoying it?
No, she's super into it.
No, no. They like bone.
They have like... They're into it.
Yeah, they're into it. Okay, so apologies for the
rape mention.
Felt like a movie that would have
that in it.
Now that I think of it, every Billy Bob Thornton movie
seems like it would have rape in it.
And yet, now I also can't think of one that does.
And I'll tell you, Bad Santa skirts way closer to that thing
than Monsters Ball does.
All right, so what were the three answers again?
Armageddon, Bad Santa, Monsters Ball.
Okay, so coming, Monster's Ball.
Okay, so coming in at number six
is Bad Santa.
Yeah, so not worth any points.
Not worth fighting over, fellas.
Number three,
he's a voice in
Puss in Boots.
So I take back the thing I said about
he's not in any movies with
rape that's boots and puss
poor cartoon one time I met a guy in Alabama at a show and he told me his
dream was open a strip club that sold shoes and he wanted to call it Puss in Boots.
His dream.
That's the best.
And he said it so innocently.
I was like,
go make your dream happen.
That's super achievable.
Yeah, no one would be bothered
by a strip club
with the word puss
in the title.
That also,
that also cobbles shoes, apparently.
Number two for Billy Bob Thornton.
You might not remember him being in it,
but it's the film Indecent Proposal.
Wow.
Made a ton of money, and I guess he participated in some way.
And then coming in at number one and worth three points Armageddon
so Chris has three and now we rotate so Michael Tully gets to go first and name a film that's in the top three of mr. Owen Wilson did someone say who what is
he Owen Wilson been in did he ever canoodle with Jennifer Aniston oh boy oh
yeah he was
Marley and Me
Marley and Me I'm gonna go with that
Wedding Crashers
I'm gonna say Armageddon again
Oh yeah
He's in fucking Armageddon
Yes sir
God damn it
You're starting to figure out how this works.
I didn't know he was in that. I never saw it.
I don't know.
It's kind of a surprise to me as well
that coming in at number five
is Wedding Crashers.
Yeah. Not enough to get
you any points. And then his number
three movie is Cars.
Yeah. That made a shit ton of money. get you any points. And then his number three movie is Cars. Yeah,
that made a shit ton of money
because kids love
it when Owen Wilson is the voice of a car.
And
coming in at number two, Armageddon.
Two more points for Chris.
And then his number one movie,
Meet the
Fuckers. Oh, wow, really?
Yeah, that made a lot of fucking money.
All right.
Joe gets to go first this time.
Okay.
And, you know,
my only advice to you at this point is
you probably can't win.
No, no, I was just thinking it's unwinnable at this point is you probably can't win. No, no.
I was just thinking it's unwinnable at this point.
All right.
But let's give it a shot.
All right.
Let's see what we can do.
Liv Tyler.
Return of the King.
The films of Liv Tyler.
Return of the King.
See you guys. Okay, full title The Lord of the Rings
Featuring, call him the Return of the King
Featuring
Yeah, the Return of the King
Is a hot guest verse
J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings
Trilogy, call him the Return of the King
Peter Jackson
jerking himself off
the five hour extended cut.
I just love the title
The Lord of the Rings, The Return
of the King because it has the most
thes of any title in history.
And it rhymes too, sort of.
Sort of too. Okay.
Chris?
I'm going with Armageddon. Just of too. Okay. Chris? I'm going to go with Armageddon.
Just sticking with what works.
Oh, wait a minute.
Now I see how.
Yeah, you see that?
I didn't know she was
in fucking Armageddon.
They did the song. Her dad did the song.
Her dad did the song. There's a video.
Close your eyes, Joe.
You tried to make up
for being an awful parent
for 30 years
with an awful
ghostwritten pop song?
Yeah.
Yeah, that song sucks.
Do you have a guess?
Well, shit,
it's obviously Armageddon.
No, it's probably
one of those
fucking Lord of the Rings movies.
What are the other ones
even called?
I don't know. Lord of the Rings 2?
The Legend of Smog's Gold?
I saw that fucking trilogy, man.
It's just a blur.
The last half hour of the third one
just wiped the entire fucking thing from my brain.
Yeah, those are tough titles to remember.
I always get screwed up by those titles in the games.
But it doesn't matter.
We've established that Chris is clearly the winner of this.
What's the actual order?
But it's still fun to kick Chris one more time when he's up.
Because for Liv Tyler, coming in at number four, Armageddon.
Son of a bitch!
No points!
Number two, Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship
of the Ring. Oh, that's got four thes in it, too.
Oh, and with only
three thes, coming in at number two,
The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
And Liv Tyler's number one
movie, The Lord of the Rings, The Return
of the King.
Three points for Joe.
Too little, too late, but you got on the board.
I know, but I saw that point from the first game,
the drum game.
It doesn't work that way.
All right.
We took away... Oh, wait.
But also, did you get
that thing you do also? I got that thing
you do. Oh, yeah, that wasn't
it. That was just for fun, even.
You said it was a game. No, that was the
first one. No, you gave me a point. Oh, what was the second thing he
did, though? Oh, the second thing he did was Spinal Tap.
Spinal Tap. Yeah, who got that one?
I got that one. Totally got that one. But that one was the
fun one. I got the real one.
But that point doesn't
mean anything. You just got to go first
in the next game. This is a
bunch of bullshit.
It's like playing Dungeons
and Dragons for the first time. They can just fucking
lead you through it by the nose.
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys.
You just fell into a moat.
Yeah, I feel like we're in Doug's basement
and he just took the board away.
No, fine.
We're fucking not playing anymore.
Ghost of Harmontown haunts this podcast.
It's in the same space, so we have to pay tribute.
Let's play one more game, because we do have time for it.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
So Chris won that game, so he gets to go first in this game,
and this is the game that really matters.
It's going to go Chris, then me, I'll play along,
and then Joe, and then Michael,
and we're going to take turns naming movies
that a person's been in.
Audience members reach out to me on Twitter
saying they've got the perfect name for this game
because I don't like to know what it is in advance. So I preselected someone named Adam Goodell.
Are you here?
Oh, wow, you have a couple of friends and everything.
And where'd you come in from?
Uh, Sherman Oaks.
Sherman Oaks, thanks for making the effort.
I, you know, I've lived in L.A. a long time,
and I don't
even think I've met someone from Sherman Oaks because I live on the other side of
the hill and what's your suggestion for the game dude no I don't know if it's
actually pronounced Frazier but that is a tough one brendan frazier no no it's pronounced frazier frazier
that's like a pet peeve of his i've seen interviews where he's like it's not frazier
it's frazier he gets very angry about all right well so joe is our winner then
because he knew that thing about he knows that thing that Frazier does.
Yeah.
Brendan Fraze.
What, I mean, can he still,
what is he getting mad about these days?
Like that he's not working at all? I think that he's,
he's bankrupt.
He's one of those guys
that's like fully belly up.
Yeah, I know.
It's sad.
It's very sad.
This is like the end of the founder
who really got Bummy in here.
I gotta be honest,
I don't miss him.
I've always found him to be
a character actor
in a dumb Lomax's body.
So I've enjoyed a lot of his performances,
but he's kind of held back
by being Brendan Fraser, I think.
I know, it's sad.
If only he had died today,
then this would be an especially poignant round.
Instead of just trashing the living.
Yeah, why didn't you say Powers Booth?
That would be a tough one.
That would be.
I will say, though, my favorite Powers Booth movie is
Southern Comfort. Great movie.
Really good. He's great in that.
Of course, he was great as Jim
Jones in the Guyana Massacre
movie.
Guyana.
It's Frazier.
There's two things that piss off
Brendan Frazier, and it's mispronouncing Frazier and Guyana.
Both drive him absolutely nuts.
So you guys each have one lifeline.
One time during this game,
you can go to the person whose name tag you chose.
All right.
I am lifeline-less, but we'll start with Chris.
The mummy.
What do you think of this new Tom Cruise
mummy?
It didn't look like there was any mummies.
It has this spectacular...
It's about a plane crash.
It's all plane crash in the trailer.
And then they say to him,
you survived the plane crash.
That must mean that you know
the mummy.
You're like the mummy. You're like
the mummy. You could survive anything.
Alright.
I'm going to go with...
I'd like to go back to the beginning
if that's okay with everybody.
When we first fell in love
with the phrase
you're...
and say
Encino Man.
Alright. The Mummy Returns.
You really think
you're clever, don't you?
I know
exactly what I'm doing right now.
I fill in the pocket.
The Mummy
Returns.
Jerry Maguire Part 2.
Show me the money again.
The Mummy Returns.
Wasn't he in a 3D movie, Journey to the Center of the Earth?
Yeah, but then you get into trouble here because it had some sort of wacky title.
Is it the first one?
It was just called Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D
maybe? I think so. Okay.
I'll take it. Thank you. I like it.
Appreciate that. You're welcome. Chris?
Monkey Bone.
Oh! Yeah.
That's an underrated one.
Bob Odenkirk's in Monkey Bone.
Bankrupted Studio.
Giant Failure.
I don't know if it bankrupted it.
For a long time, it was third on the list of biggest failures of all time.
For some reason, it cost a crazy amount of money.
It was like Pluto Nash, man.
Whoa.
That's some heavy shit you're throwing down right there.
For Brandon Frazier, I'm going to say
School Ties.
Ooh.
Very good film.
The Mummy,
Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
Is that the,
hold on,
is that the actual name
of that movie?
That is.
It was his return
to the franchise.
I know Jet Li's in it, but I just don't remember.
Jet Li and Brendan Freeman. And nobody else is in it.
Everybody else was like, nah, I'm not
going to do this one.
Me and my eyebrows are out of here.
I'll be over here in the lobster stabbing my eyeballs out.
That's really a thing?
Yeah.
I thought it was like verse of the...
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
I thought you were just naming a Chinese restaurant what was the
one that he was in
with Liz Hurley
was that called Bedazzled
that's correct
that was an awful movie
now we're getting into the thick of it we're getting deep cuts now That's correct. That was an awful movie.
Now we're getting into the thick of it.
We're getting deep cuts now.
Blast from the Past.
No one has mentioned an Academy Award winner
for Best Picture.
He was in Crash.
Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Which car was he in? He was in Crash. Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
Which car was he in?
He was Sandra Bullock's husband or whatever.
Oh, word.
Yeah.
They were the white people in there.
Dudley Do-Right.
Yes.
Oh, word.
I think I'm going to have to go to my lifeline here.
Okay.
Tully goes to the lifeline.
God damn. Oh, yeah.
Of course.
George of the Jungle.
I was sitting on that one.
Thank you.
That's what they say?
George of the Jungle?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to the lifeline.
Chris is going to his lifeline.
Let's go Extraordinary Measures.
Extraordinary Measures.
He's got like five dialed up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The medical thriller.
With Harrison Ford.
No, no.
I'm thinking of a raw movie.
Anyway, good work.
I'm thinking of,
is it Extreme Measures?
With Gene Hackman and Hugh,
no?
Hugh Grant.
There you go.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Oh, this one.
Yeah, it's Doug.
I'm going to go with Thank you, sir. All right. I'm going to go with...
Oh, shit.
This got rough.
I think I'm going to fuck it up.
I'm going to try and see if everybody's happy with it.
It's going to be wrong out I know it's close lifeline Joe's lifeline he sounded like he might have something. Game one. What was it? Airheads. He said airheads.
He went from I've got nothing to airheads?
Oh, I'm assuming somebody told him airheads.
Somebody fucking cheated.
Clearly, someone next to him said airheads.
Yeah, he took it and ran with it.
Ah, airheads.
I fucking had airheads in my back pocket.
No, you didn't.
I swear to God.
I had George of the Jungle in mine,
and you got it from your lifeline.
Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, then I'm just going to have to say George of the Jungle in mind and you got it from your lifeline.
Alright, well then I'm just going to have to say George of the Jungle 2.
I don't think that's true.
Oh shit.
Rumble in the Jungle.
I didn't know there was a second one.
I have no idea what the full title is.
This guy is a
motherfucker.
He's like, full fucking title, I'm taking a stab here.
Okay.
Maybe I'm right.
Maybe you're wrong.
Did you do your lifeline yet?
I already did.
Okay.
I believe he was in a movie called
Gods and Monsters.
Yes, he was.
That's right.
With Ian McKellen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, nice pull.
That's a real nice pull.
Joe is out of his seat
with unhappiness.
You're out.
I'm gone, yeah.
This is Joe.
I blew it with that American.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, shit, here it comes.
I don't like it.
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
We can't wait.
We can't wait a whole minute.
Is it Rookie of the Year,
the one where he plays baseball?
No.
Nice try, though.
What is that one?
Don't help him.
Don't help him.
I'm out now.
She winned.
You still don't want to know.
There's still a game going.
He's already out.
We're all out, though.
Right, but Chris gets to go again.
Why do I get to go again?
What was the movie where he played again? Because, you know.
Oh, what was the movie where he played baseball?
Hold on a second.
It wasn't Rookie of the Year, but was it just The Rookie?
No.
What?
Albert Brooks.
Albert Brooks.
Oh, yeah.
Now I know what it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Scout.
The Scout.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I already won.
All right.
Chris is our winner, but what else
did we miss?
Looney Tunes back in action, of course.
How can you be
so angry that nobody said that?
With honors.
With honors.
He's not in the Scorpene. Furry Vengeance.
No, no, no.
The Quiet American.
The Quiet American. God
damn it. I just went with a regular American. God damn it.
I just went with a regular American.
What is George of the Jungle?
Regular loud ass Americans.
There it is.
George of the Jungle 2 is called Jungle. No, that's not right.
Jungle the Jungle is a Tim Allen movie?
Yeah, Tim Allen and Martin Short were in Jungle the Jungle.
He's also in Dickie Roberts.
He's in Dickie Roberts?
Child Star or whatever that was called?
Former Child Star.
Who does he play in it?
He's got like a cameo.
Longest explanation you can come up with.
Would be great.
But yeah, he was...
He said like one sentence.
I don't know if you have a podcast, Joe,
but one sentence off microphone is five or six seconds of silence to the listeners.
So I try to keep it tight.
You're right, you're right.
Yeah, yeah.
But I appreciate that he knows so much about
that cameo role.
Are there any other ones we missed?
I don't think so.
We really summed up Brendan
Fraser's career.
And he's been
he's done some good stuff.
And some really bad stuff. It's just called
George of the Jungle 2. It's just George of the
Jungle 2, which means technically Tully
is still in the game. Oh, he's not in it? He's not in George of the Jungle 2? It's just George of the Jungle 2, which means technically Tully is still in the game.
Oh, he's not in it?
He's not in George of the Jungle 2.
Which means technically fuck Tully.
Oh, that's, wow.
Stop trying to take soundtracks
out of my friend's hands, please.
He's not in it?
All right.
How many times must I lose this same game over and over
that sucks
who took over the coveted George of the Jungle
role
who's the poor man's Brendan Fraser
who
Christopher Showerman
no I don't believe you Who? Christopher Showerman?
No.
I don't believe you. Sounds like a QVC model.
Alright, well that means
Chris is our winner. Congratulations, Nick!
Come get all this stuff. Yeah, grab it.
Run with it. Congratulations.
Yeah, those are some nice prizes. Yeah, do you want this thing back oh he doesn't care he's got a copy I knew everyone go
all even though he just said he doesn't even want it back yeah yeah he wants you
to set it on fire we can't't do that. There's health codes.
Please don't be. Yeah, I'm not going to do that.
We don't need a great white situation here.
A great white situation.
You want the pieces back?
No, the lighter.
Oh.
No, I'm going to hang on to the lighter.
Because I'm going to get high outside later.
I'm going to need that.
All right.
Thanks, Nick.
Let's do some plugs.
Starting with Joe DeRosa.
What do you got coming up, dude?
Well, I want to plug my podcast again.
We'll see you in hell and head gum.
Again, it's a movie review show.
It gets heated.
It's a lot of fun.
And then Kurt Braunohler and I have a thing called Emotional Hangs on Pharoah Audio about adult friendship.
Well, thank you very much.
So yeah, that's it.
I think you and I have a wonderful adult friendship.
You're my newest friend.
It just started recently.
I'd say you're my newest friend also.
Tonight we had a drink.
That was the first time we ever hung out
like outside of the venue.
So that was nice.
Yeah, it was really nice.
I liked it.
Yeah, I'm really into it.
Yeah.
Keep up the good work, Joe.
You too. Let's take
this friendship to the top.
Michael Tully
weekdays from
8 to 11, 15
AM Pacific Time on Faction 103 Sirius XM. Tully weekdays from 8 to 11, 15 a.m. Pacific time
on Faction 103 SiriusXM.
Yep, and then the Tully show's on there as well,
and it's also a podcast.
People can get it that way.
And I am at Tully on Twitter.
I barely tweet, so I'm a pretty offensive follow.
Oh, okay.
That's a good pitch.
Yeah.
Follow me.
I don't write much.
It won't bother you.
If you're following me, you'll barely notice
that you're following me.
You won't even know I'm there.
Just do it. I like it.
I've been sitting in on Tuesday mornings on Jason Ellis,
so I'll see you tomorrow morning.
See you tomorrow.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
I don't want to get between you and Joe.
This is super awkward now.
What?
Chris Cubis?
This weekend, I'm at the Crapshoot Comedy Festival in Las Vegas with Dave Attell and who else is on the festival?
Morgan Murphy.
There's a bunch of great comics.
Kurt Brunner is there.
Kurt Brunner is absolutely there.
Yeah, it's going to be super fun.
Check out my podcast.
It's called Canceled.
We watch TV shows that only last in one season.
A couple of you like it.
Thank you.
We're currently watching The Adventures of Briscoe County Jr., which is super fun.
That show is great and just keeps getting better every episode.
Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he's a trip.
For sure.
Yeah, I got to, last summer I smoked weed with him. Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he's a trip. For sure. Yeah, I got to,
last summer I smoked
weed with him.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you
the whole story
on the next.
Is there a shithead
on this
I Am Legend thing?
No.
Because you went,
it took so much time
and effort to put
these post-its on here.
That like also,
including a shithead would be too much.
Do you want to write it down on the back of one of these post-its?
Here, Nick, can you pass that back to him and make it happen?
Because we've got to have a shithead at the end.
Let's see if this one's got one.
Wait, the other name tag doesn't have one either.
I didn't know about it.
You didn't know about it?
You knew enough to bring a name tag?
I didn't know about it.
You didn't know about it?
You knew enough to bring a name tag?
Because people just tell you,
just put your face on a movie poster and bring it.
Don't worry about the details.
Is there anybody you're mad at right now or you think is shitty?
Anna?
Anna, Anna, fair to remember?
It's a really tough question, I guess.
Life's pretty good for you right now.
Yeah, I don't know if you've looked at the news.
Shit's pretty tight.
There's nothing to complain about.
Pretty gorgeous out there.
Rainbows.
Do you want someone near you
to help you with this?
That's too much pressure. I agree.
I don't know why I ever started this thing.
There's other people in the audience going,
I've got one.
Nothing?
She does have a MAGA sweatshirt on,
so it's a little...
It's just different.
Everyone looked like that was possibly real?
That there's just one Trump supporter
in his fucking nerd room?
I also think people that don't support Trump
don't sit around talking about MAGA.
Like, that's not really a word.
That's true. I made that up.
a word. That's true. I made that up.
Let's see what the other person Oh, that's not a bad one.
I guess I could just have one
shithead at the end.
Alert to the booth.
Get ready to the theme.
Unprecedented one shithead.
This lady is living in a bubble
of perfection.
Congratulations, Anna. unprecedented one shithead. This lady is living in a bubble of perfection.
Congratulations, Anna.
At the very least,
the person who was playing for you who lost, you should call a shithead.
But it was a classy choice
on your part, Michael Tully.
And we got all your plugs in, Chris?
Yes, sir.
All right, great.
Like I said earlier in the show,
we'll be back over at UCB Franklin
here in Los Angeles on May 23rd.
Thank you, everyone, for being here.
One more time for all of my guests,
Joe DeRosa, Michael Talley, and Chris Cubis.
And as always, the director of Scientology is a shithead!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Rise up, don't just do it viewing prowess makes it foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.