Doug Loves Movies - Chris Cubas, Michael Tully and Joe DeRosa guest

Episode Date: May 17, 2017

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Chris Cubas, Michael Tully and Joe DeRosa to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in L.A.,
Starting point is 00:00:40 it's Monday, May 15, 2017, 174 days till Ragnarok, and this is the 31st show we've taped this year. Applaud. What's the name tag sitch, you guys? Okay, good. We got a few. They all seem to be 8x10 size, which is perfect for Los Angeles. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:01:15 There's only one big name tag, and it's not big at all. I mean, it's Iron Ryant, because your name's Ryan? Yeah. Okay, good job. Congratulations, biggest name tag. I wish the listeners knew
Starting point is 00:01:30 how small your biggest name tag was. It's like you guys have been listening to the show and hearing me talk about name tags being too big and you were like let's dial it in. Let's take it down a notch. I've seen yours before, right? Too many times? Let's say it again though notch. I've seen yours before, right? Too many times?
Starting point is 00:01:45 Let's say it again, though. What does it say? It's ex machina, but what's it say instead? Ex machinic. All right. Very clever. How you doing over there? What's yours?
Starting point is 00:01:58 Mike and Tasha made a baby. Mike and Tasha made a baby? Is that Tasha next to you? Yes. Where's your baby? It's in there? Oh, shit. How far along are you?
Starting point is 00:02:15 Five months. Five months, all right. Why do people go, yay? What if she said it's only been a week or two? Be a little too soon to talk about it. Well, congratulations, you guys. And are you naming the baby Doug Loves Movies? What? His whole first name is Doug Loves Movies?
Starting point is 00:02:43 You call him DLM for short. All right. Thank you for everybody that made a name tag. I appreciate it. Doug plugs. Next Los Angeles Doug Loves Movies taping is on Tuesday, May 23rd at UCB Franklin at 930 after Put Your Hands Together.
Starting point is 00:03:01 The next night, I'm in Houston at the Improv and Saturday, May 27th the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio at 420. Saturdays in June, Doug Loves Movies will come to Charlotte, San Francisco, Boston, and Philly.
Starting point is 00:03:19 For all the dates and more deets, go to DougLovesmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com. You guys are so professional. I love it. Oh, yeah, and the crickets are quiet tonight. Crickets aren't even trying to get laid tonight.
Starting point is 00:03:43 The prize bag, oh my God. It's ridiculous. There's a loot crate in the prize bag. Yes! Yeah. There's also from a young lady that comes to the show from time to time and has a company called,
Starting point is 00:04:01 I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly, Cute Streak. Right? Cutestreak.com. Streak. S-T-R-E-A-K. Cute Streak Designs made this beautiful Joe vs. the Volcano poster that is
Starting point is 00:04:17 basically a volcano that has lots of orange orange Fanta. Right? Because that's what they drank in that movie. Oh, but it says something different on it. It says of orange orange Fanta, right? Because that's what they drank in that movie. Oh, but it says something different on it. It says jump. It was called jump soda in the movie. Wow. That's so specific.
Starting point is 00:04:37 It's so cute. Also in the prize bag, this is exciting. I can't believe that somebody's going to win this. This is the Florence Foster Jenkins extended play
Starting point is 00:04:51 45 of five of the amazing songs performed by Meryl Streep in the movie of the same name. They sent me that to try to promote the movie. I'm like, I don't know if that's going to work. Plus, I might mention it a little too late.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Also, a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, and the thing you guys are probably most excited about potentially winning tonight is one of these Christmas... It's a Christmassy bong from our friends at Peacemaker. Yeah. Someone wrote today on social media,
Starting point is 00:05:35 I've licked a peppermint dick. About this. Because it does look like a bong, I mean a dildo. Alright. I dropped my Florence Jenkins. Oh, thank you so much. Are you are you a roadie? Because you could do it You'd be good at it, dude Let me just there you go now it should it shouldn't be a problem
Starting point is 00:05:59 Also, I brought my noise making machine in case in case the crickets were a problem Let's get my guests out here, what do you say? They've all brought stuff for the prize bag as well. Please give a big warm welcome to Chris Cubis, Mike Tully, and Joe DeRosa. I got the shirt in the trunk. Well, I got it on, so I win. All right, for the listeners, the gentleman in the front row claimed to have Chris Cubis' shirt in the trunk of his car,
Starting point is 00:06:40 and Chris fired back, I have it on, motherfucker. Is that what you said? I didn't hit him with a motherfucker. Is that what you said? I didn't hit him with a motherfucker. That seemed aggressive up front. It's still amazing that you guys connected like that. And I'd like to remind the front row that while they're well illuminated, they're not part of the show.
Starting point is 00:07:04 And let's say hi to my guests individually, starting with our first timer. It's Michael Tully, everybody. Hello. Hi. From the Jason Ellis Show on Faction Talk. Yeah. It's Sirius XM 103.
Starting point is 00:07:22 That's right. The show to which you are a weekly contributor. Yeah, I show up every Tuesday and sit around for three hours and watch you guys go at it. It's a lot of fun. And then you have your own show on the weekends. Yeah, I got the Tully Show. Tully Show. Thought of that name all by myself. And that's
Starting point is 00:07:40 what time Eastern? Oh, it's a totally desirable time. I think it's on 10pm.m. Eastern time, Saturday night. 10 p.m., 7 p.m. on the West Coast. That's right. Listen to it while you're getting ready to go out, West Coast. That's what I do. You listen to your own show?
Starting point is 00:07:57 Sometimes. Am I not supposed to admit that? No, I mean... Do you listen to this podcast? I don't listen to this shit, no. I mean, I'll listen to it if? I don't listen to this shit, no. I mean, I'll listen to it if I have to. Like, if somebody goes, wow, I can't believe you said
Starting point is 00:08:09 that thing. I'm like, oh, now I gotta listen to it. Like, what was the thing? See what the hell it was I said. Probably something bad about something. But, for the most part, podcasters are left alone. We don't get in too much trouble for saying shit. Especially when we're kidding.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Just joking around, you guys. And Tully did what I think is a miraculous thing. And that is, your name on Twitter is at Tully. It is. That is pretty sweet when somebody has a three, four, five letter Twitter name. That means you must have got on it immediately, like the second Twitter started.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Or I was ridiculous enough to pay... You paid somebody? Four figures. No. For my Twitter name. I'm on there all day. Do you know how much time I've saved myself? That's amazing, though.
Starting point is 00:08:58 My old one was terrible. When I brought it up, I didn't expect such a pathetic story. I could just see the guy, he tweeted like one thing about hash browns in like 2009 and then never did a goddamn thing. I got to get a 10 p.m. fucking serious show. You got the cash flow like that.
Starting point is 00:09:16 That's impressive. It was not a wise investment. It was not something I easily afforded. Which four figures were they? All the good ones. Five? Higher than five? No, no, no, no. Four figures. No, very, the lowest.
Starting point is 00:09:33 The lowest possible four figure. No, no, no. The lowest possible four figure. $1,000. I think I paid $1,000. Okay. Oh, that's not so bad. You should just say $1,000 because four figures leaves it open to all the way up to 9,000 something. Right. 9,999.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Right. I paid like a car sticker price for it. Well, thank you for being here. And I feel like from having done the Ellis show with you a bunch of times that you are, you know what you know. You're good at the trivia you know but you're
Starting point is 00:10:05 not like a movie trivia person i think that's a fair assessment i think i have like a like probably like most people i have like a swiss cheese knowledge of movies there's stuff that i know and there's stuff that i have no fucking clue that everybody else stuff that you'll forget you knew because you're sitting up here under the hot lights in the back of a comic book store. Yes. And it gets intense. It's like an inquisition up here. Visiting us for the second time
Starting point is 00:10:33 on the show, it's Joe DeRosa, everybody. Hi, everybody. Hi, Doug. Hi, Chris. Hi, Mike. How are you all? That hasn't happened on the show before. Hi, Doug. Hi, Chris. Hi, Mike. How are you all? That hasn't happened on the show before. Someone just saying hello to all of us.
Starting point is 00:10:52 And it's very polite, and I like it. I appreciate you having me here. It's very nice. Everybody's usually, it's all about them. Yeah, because comics are pieces of shit. No, that's true. You have a podcast, right? Yeah, yeah. I have two podcasts, but the one that... You have two of them? Yes. Oh, that is ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:11:14 The one that relates most to this show is I have a podcast on the HeadGum Network called We'll See You in Hell. It's Patrick Walsh and myself doing Siskel and Ebert style reviews of horror, fantasy, and sci-fi movies. So check it out. I hope you like it.
Starting point is 00:11:30 It's a lot of fun. This week's episode was Predators 1 and 2. Together. Yeah. Dude, I just had a thought. You should come to Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas. Because it's those three genres pretty much exclusively a whole film festival for like 10 days and it's super fun.
Starting point is 00:11:47 When is it? In September. This is your festival that you run? No, I don't. No, I'm just kidding. I do Douglas movies at it every year in a movie interruption and you know just sort of hang out and have fun because it's a really cool festival like the most
Starting point is 00:12:03 fucked up movies. Alright. like you know like uh i saw the lobster there way before anybody saw the lobster yeah so i got to be on that you know most people still haven't seen the lobster that's so but that's a terrific high horse to get on yeah uh the lobster horse but uh that's in fact if i were in that movie and had to decide what animal I would be after I die, it would be a lobster horse. That movie would totally go for that. That movie fucked me up, man. It did? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Because I thought it was going to be this kind of Wes Anderson goofy comedy kind of thing. And then by the end of it, I was like, I want to die right now. I felt hopeless. Our friend of the show, like I want to die right now the show I argue with him about it all the time our friend Trey galleon thinks it's hilarious and I find it very unpleasant it's terribly what he thinks it's hilarious it's really funny what what I mean. It is listed as a comedy on IMDb. That was like when Birdman came out. And all the trailers for Birdman
Starting point is 00:13:10 made it look like it was all pictures of Michael Keaton walking like this. And you're like, this is going to be hilarious. And then you're like, oh my Christ. The biggest laugh in that movie is Zach Alvin Axe is saying, Martin Scorsese. It's like the funniest part. Thank you for being here, Joe.
Starting point is 00:13:30 And also joining us is Chris Cubis. I would like it known that the guy who has the same shirt as me is also drinking a 40 of Bud Light in the front row. So we're pretty much in the same wavelength. He's not messing around, but he's also kind of messing around.
Starting point is 00:13:47 That's his lifestyle. You're like one of the kids from Stranger Things grown up. You know, those kids, they can't possibly live normal lives, but they also aren't going to live incredible lives. They're just... It's on my mind because I just finished it today, finally.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yeah, I just finished Stranger Things and I really liked it a lot. Yeah, it's great. I don't know how excited I am for a second season because it's like, why couldn't it just be a thing that just, you know, eight of them and it ends? You know, like, why does it have to be like, oh, but then this happened
Starting point is 00:14:24 so maybe there's more story to tell. Because you want to see those kids in, like, nice suits at the Emmys or whatever again. Remember? That was so cool. That's true. That black kid was in, like, a stylish-ass suit. You don't even have to fucking make movies. Just have him show up every once in a while in a suit.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I'll be like, all right, the world's not shit. You're so happy for any black youth that's wearing a suit. It while in a suit. I'd be like, alright. The world's not shit. You're so happy for any black youth that's wearing a suit and not walking through the back of a neighborhood with some Skittles. Oh my lord. You thought the lobster was fucked up. Shit just got real dark
Starting point is 00:14:57 in here. But that's like they just renewed. I was on BloodyDisgusting.com and they were I was on bloodydisgusting.com and they were all excited on Bloody Disgusting they were like they renewed
Starting point is 00:15:09 The Exorcist for another season it's like they got the demon out in two hours in the movie how many fucking episodes of the show
Starting point is 00:15:17 are you gonna do? I would also like to say that I did not know The Exorcist was a show I didn't know there was an
Starting point is 00:15:20 Exorcist show until I saw it was renewed for a second season I was like what? It stars Geena Davis No it doesn't like, what? It stars Gina Davis. No, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:15:27 No, it does not. It stars... She uses archery to fight the devil. The cutthroat island. It stars Gina Davis and the guy that played Cameron in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Alan Ruck. Alan Ruck. Alan Ruck, yes, yes. From the Bunheads. Who I always mix up with Alan Tudyk. First of all, it's two dick. Two dicks?
Starting point is 00:15:47 Yeah, don't fuck with two dicks. I'm not fucking with two dicks. I just, their names I always mix up. Whenever somebody says Alan Ruck, I always think they mean Alan Two Dicks. All right, well. Maybe now, finally, you'll get it straight. Yeah. Because one of their names. Probably gets it straighter than get it straight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Because one of their names... Probably gets it straighter than two dicks. Yeah. One of their names is more fun than the other one, that's for sure. I know. Ruck is a fun word, isn't it? You don't want to get stuck in a ruck.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Let's talk prize bag, you guys. We'll start with the newbie, see what he's got. Okay, all right. What do you have for the prize bag, you guys. We'll start with the newbie, see what he's got. Okay, all right. What do you have for the prize bag, Michael? Well, let's see, I got a couple things. My wife is out of town. My wife! So I took advantage of the opportunity
Starting point is 00:16:37 to clear out our DVD book. Your DVD book! I got a lot. A raw stack of DVDs with no cases. No condoms on the DVDs. And I got zero cases. A raw stack of DVDs. I got a lot of DVDs. No condoms on the DVD. And I got zero cases. There's some good stuff in here. I got the American Idol movie from Justin Dicheli.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Oh, I see. I have a Coolio vehicle. And I have a- Hold on, slow down. Which, what is that? Hold on. Tapped Out, I think it's called. There's a lot of movies.
Starting point is 00:17:02 What? Tapped Out? Tapped Out. Tapped Out. There it is. Oh, boy. Wait, don't deprive the audience of the face of this DVD. This is a very serious
Starting point is 00:17:12 Coolio. I thought you were referring to this one, MXP, Most Extreme Primate. Shit. That's all right, dude. It's just the Coolio movie. So you bought these in the first place? At some point, you were like, oh, tapped out. That looks good.
Starting point is 00:17:31 And then you brought it home? No, I think I got that as a screener. For your Oscar consideration? I vote for the Oscars, yeah. So Coolio was at the house pretty solidly for a while there. This looks like hush money from the shittiest video store on Earth. You didn't see nothing. Take this, fucker.
Starting point is 00:17:48 The only thing missing from that bag is like sweat at the bottom. It looks like it should have a homemade handgun inside of it. I got a candle that smells like Skittles. Oh, I'm in. That's right. Now you can smell the rainbow.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Oh, because I wanted to get something somebody might actually want. Here is a gift certificate to Meltdown. For how much? We don't need to get into dollar figures. Well, how many figures? Low four figures. Where's the decimal point in those figures?
Starting point is 00:18:18 That's nice. Yeah, that's much nicer than what I got. Way nicer. Yeah, now we got a double bag situation. It's much nicer than what I got. Way nicer. Yeah, now we got a double bag situation. Anyway. Don't scratch those DVDs, sir.
Starting point is 00:18:31 It made a nice noise when it hit the ground. What do you got, Joe, besides a coyote laugh? Sorry. I'm auditioning for Gotham next week to play one of your villains. I have two books for my personal book collection. And I have put an inscription in both books. Oh, that's nice. But then I just put the salutation at the end,
Starting point is 00:18:56 and then you can just sign your name. And then give these to somebody. So I'd like you, Doug, to read the title of the book and then the inscription in each. And see if anybody is interested in this. All right. Stravinsky, A New Appraisal of His Work, edited by Paul Henry Lang.
Starting point is 00:19:13 And then you wrote right inside here, OMG, this book is so us. Then parentheses skip to chapter three and you'll see what I mean. Hugs. Comma. And so the idea is you write your own name in and then give it to a friend of yours.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Whenever that's appropriate. Okay. It's always great when the first one bombs and you still have to do the second one. It didn't bomb. It did okay. Public speaking as listeners like it by Richard C. Borden.
Starting point is 00:19:54 That book looks like, like it's so old, it looks like the first advice is going to be start with a Polack joke. So, Joe wrote in, hey girl. Hope this helps with the big presentation. Kill it. And, kill it, and land that account, boo.
Starting point is 00:20:34 See, that's a good one. XOXOXO. So, yeah, that's a great way to present public speaking as listeners like it. Yeah, there you go. Very good. What do you got for us there, Chris Cubis? I have the award-winning soundtrack
Starting point is 00:20:52 to the movie The Bodyguard. What, on cassette? Yes, they're both on cassette. Because cassette's making a comeback. Hipsters are super into cassette. Fuck vinyl. Cassette is where it's at. Cassette's where it's at.
Starting point is 00:21:04 It's a collector's item. I also have the soundtrack. It just says songs from the cool world. The movie Cool World. So it might not be every song. I don't know all of them, but it's a few of them. And I have a third one, but Joe DeRosa stole it. I didn't steal it.
Starting point is 00:21:19 I gave it to him. He didn't steal it. I collect vintage hip-hop, media, cassettes, CDs, vinyl. And he had the break-in soundtrack. And this nerd was like, there's an unreleased Ice-T song on there. I need to have that. And I was like, if I had money,
Starting point is 00:21:34 I'll go get money and give it to you right now to buy that from you. And he said, you can just have it, because I was just going to put it into the gift bag. But the stipulation was I had to tell you guys, because it would be such a hilarious segment that we're doing right now. They work out.
Starting point is 00:21:48 What's on the Cool World soundtrack, by the way? I don't know. Confused people. Oh, it's already in the bag so it's too late to check it out.
Starting point is 00:21:57 God damn it. I think there's like a Bowie song and maybe, I don't know, a modem noise or something weird like that. Those are the modem noise or something weird like that? Those are the good Bowie years.
Starting point is 00:22:07 93, 94. That's your choice, Bowie. Alright, I have a question for each of you. We'll start with Chris. What was the last movie you saw? I finally saw Fate of the Furious, like three days ago. I'm so glad you got around to that.
Starting point is 00:22:31 It was, somehow it hadn't been spoiled. Like, I didn't know. In my head, Vic was still a traitor. I didn't know what had happened. Well, yeah, you just go to the dark side. He just had an ugly baby and then everything was fine. Oh, fuck you. His baby was not cute.
Starting point is 00:22:48 But I will say the best thing in that movie by far is that The Rock is just like a superhero. When he starts curling that desk. He can do anything. He curls a desk? He takes a concrete desk out of a wall. He rips it from a wall
Starting point is 00:23:04 in jail and he just stares Jason Statham in the eyes and starts doing curls with it. It's the craziest. It's so good. And also, it's crazier than the fact that he also kicks a torpedo out of the way at one point. That movie's the shit.
Starting point is 00:23:19 That's how torpedoes are. They're like sharks. If you punch them on the nose, it'll totally leave you alone. That fucking torpedo. Well, I'm glad you finally saw it. I also saw the trailer for Baywatch, which is, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Right? I don't need this. That's essentially seeing the movie Baywatch, right? I don't know. I would hope a tit or a dick would flop out. I would hope there's something that they can't show in the trailer. I think the trailer at the beginning
Starting point is 00:23:47 says graphic nudity, so I'm just like already quinging like, oh, is it just gonna be some old man's balls? Yeah, yeah, it's definitely gonna be old balls. God damn it. I hate when they do that. It's dirty grandpa's balls. Mike, what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:24:02 I'm not sure how to answer that. I tried and failed. Maybe the last movie you saw I'm not sure how to answer that I tried and failed maybe the last movie you saw I tried and failed this afternoon to watch La La Land tried and failed? how far did you get into it were you like they're fucking up traffic goodbye
Starting point is 00:24:16 I mean I was deeply suspicious about 60 seconds and I like to think of myself as a fairly whimsical person, but I could not summon nearly the amount of whimsy necessary to make it through La La Land. It was a lot more musically than I expected, which in retrospect, pretty dumb. Yeah, that's on you,
Starting point is 00:24:36 that you didn't know La La Land had a lot of music in it. Yeah, I turned it off. The last movie I saw the way through, I went to the theater and saw Citizen Kane. All right, well, so I to the theater and saw Citizen Kane. All right. Well, so I guess you kind of redeemed yourself with that move. We get it. You're smart.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Yeah, you don't want as much dumb people running around singing in Los Angeles. Going to Citizen Kane is funny because you have to confront the fact that you're the kind of person who would go see Citizen Kane in a theater. Like half the guys there had both a ponytail and a fedora. Were there laughs like in the theater? Oh, we laughed, we cried. It became a part of us, Doug.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Those last two things aren't true, but did you laugh, really? Are there any jokes in it? Nothing that would make you like laugh audibly there's a couple funny little bits I may have turned up the corner right after he bench presses the desk all right Joe what was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw in full was on the airplane down to Dallas.
Starting point is 00:25:49 I watched The Founder. Oh, that just came up on a show recently, and I found out from the person who saw The Founder that apparently The Founder was a bit of a dick. Yeah, again, like Birdman. Michael Keaton swoops in. You're like, I want to feel good. By the end of it, you're like,
Starting point is 00:26:07 I don't know what to do with myself. Honestly, I love McDonald's. I love fast food. I make no bones about it. I'm conflicted about ever eating at McDonald's ever again. That's how much of a dick the founder is. Because he kind of took somebody's restaurant and franchised it and made it a success
Starting point is 00:26:27 without involving them in it? That's the sort of halfway point where you're like, I could still eat Chicken McNuggets. This isn't so bad. And then it goes in a whole other direction in the third act, and you're like, oh my Jesus.
Starting point is 00:26:40 There's like scenes of him going, we'll have a clown, and so children will love it, and then that clown will claim to cure children's cancer, and then everyone will love that. There's a scene where they're like, Ray Kroc, that's Michael Keaton's character, Ray, the coffee, it's so hot, what if an old lady burns the skin off her legs? And he's like, fuck the old ladies, make it hot! So I'm with him at this point. What's the bad type part?
Starting point is 00:27:07 I'll tell you the thing at the end. I mean, it's not really a secret. Do you care if I give you the little card? We were just discussing this the other day. Can you spoil a movie that's about a guy who's come and gone and we still eat at a stupid restaurant? This is the big thing at the end. Sorry, guys. Plug yours if you don't want to hear it.
Starting point is 00:27:22 So he finally buys them out of the original McDonald's so he can do whatever he wants. He gives them $1.4 million each. You're like, all right, whatever. He does a handshake deal with them. He goes, you have my word. You will get 1% of the profits for the rest of your lives for McDonald's. Then they have to change the name of their restaurant, McDonald's, which is literally their name, to M's because they're not allowed to use the name McDonald's anymore.
Starting point is 00:27:49 And if that's not enough, he opens a McDonald's across the street from it. It shuts them down. Puts them out of business? Yeah, puts them out of business. And then the final card is they never got their money from the handshake deal. Oh, no. It would be worth today $100 million per year.
Starting point is 00:28:08 It's a downer. I still got a quarter pounder on the flight home. I'm not going to lie. I'm only so strong. It's a great flick though. Keaton's fucking great at it. Oh, okay. So it's good. Oh, it's fantastic. It's just
Starting point is 00:28:23 not a pick-me-up. Yeah, I just also you know, it's fantastic. It's just not a pick-me-up. Yeah, I just also, you know, it's funny that you were worried about spoiling it for people. Like, there's anyone that's, like, fucking blew off a theatrical release, and now it's been available, I don't know for how long, you know, in other formats, and that anyone is still like,
Starting point is 00:28:42 no, no, no, I don't want to know about the founder. I think a lot of people listening right now are pretty much hearing the most about the founder they've ever heard. You know, it was just a movie that just didn't connect with anybody, really. Who used to do, what stand-up used to do that? It's sort of like a hacky joke now,
Starting point is 00:29:01 but at one time it was very original, but there was a stand-up that did a joke where he goes, I just saw Jesus Christ Superstar. He dies at the end. I just like that joke. I just saw Rocky. He has a personal victory at the end. I mean, that movie, when you look back on it
Starting point is 00:29:29 you just it's easy to assume he wins the big fight but he doesn't even win no he's not even the winner his heart wins because he gets Adrian
Starting point is 00:29:36 yeah yeah it's that's why the Rocky 2 sucks I love the Rocky franchise I'm from Philadelphia I will watch all the movies whatever I don't like 4 I think 4 is really Philadelphia. I will watch all the movies, whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:45 I don't like four. I think four is really stupid. But I will watch any of the other ones whenever they're on. And five? I like five because I like that they go back. He's got the flashback of Mickey. I cry at the end every time when he's street fighting Tommy the Machine Gun. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:59 And he's on the ground and you hear Mickey's ghost go, I didn't hear no bell. And then the fucking Rocky music starts playing and he gets up and up. And you realize he has full-blown CTE. I just got chills. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You realize his brain is damaged beyond belief. Actually, Pauly never existed,
Starting point is 00:30:17 was always a figment of his imagination. Yeah, he's like, I was a boxer. They're like, what are you talking about? No, you weren't. You're never a boxer. All right, well, great answers, all of you. And Bert, turn the show off, because it's time for me to say, let the games begin!
Starting point is 00:30:34 Let's begin! Woo! People made some name tags. They're hard to spot and very small. But each of you needs to pick one that you're going to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after this spoken word message by me. Hey, no sponsors this episode.
Starting point is 00:31:00 So I'd like to tell you about some road dates. Doug Loves Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City on June 26th. The Improv in Kansas City, Missouri, July 2nd. And Doug Loves Movies returns to Talia Hall in Chicago on Wednesday, August 23rd. DougLovesMvies.com. Back to the show.
Starting point is 00:31:28 We're back. Great job, everybody. Three out of the ten name tags were chosen. And let's start with Chris, who picked up one that's... Is this the first time it's been picked? Yes. Yes, all right. He's been here many times.
Starting point is 00:31:46 It's got like a... Is that like a resin stain? There's like a brown, like a shitty thumbprint on the bottom of this. It's Ex Machina is who I'm playing for. And it's Ex Machina and she's smoking a joint. Yeah, she's got a big fat joint. Big fatty.
Starting point is 00:32:02 It was the closest sign to my fatness. So I just picked that one. That's when you know robots are going to be dangerously out of control, is when they start enjoying weed. When they're sentient enough to enjoy drugs, you're going to be like, oh shit, robots are here to stay.
Starting point is 00:32:21 What do you got there, Tully? I have Anna Fair to remember. Anna, see what there, Tully? I have Anna Fair to remember. Anna, see what she did there? That's very clever. You like that old black and white movies, right? Cary Grant is, I think, the greatest movie actor who ever lived. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I don't think he's going to come up again today at all. How about Orson Welles? How many Cary Grant movies could you name, Mike Tully? Oh, boy. Sitting here under the hot lights, it would be tough. How many do you think you could do? 15, pretty easy.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Really? Yeah. Holy shit. Chris Cubis? How many? What's this one called? I got a solid two. Joe DeRosa, how are you on the films of Cary Grant?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah, like two, maybe three. Not 15. I don't know. I always feel embarrassed to say that because I know he's like a legend. I feel like I should know more of his movies. No, they're pretty much all the same movie. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:23 A lot of them. He's always running through a field and a crop duster flies over. That was my second one. He's always hanging off the nose of a president of Mount Rushmore. His Girl Friday, that's the only other one I can think of. Bringing Up Baby.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Is he in the Philadelphia story? He was, yes. He sure was. Him and Jimmy Stu. Suspicion, Notorious, I Was a. He sure was. Him and Jimmy Stu. Yeah. Suspicion, Notorious, I Was a Male War Bride. The list goes on. Yeah. I believe you could do 15 of them.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I don't even want to hear it. No, I know. Nobody does. I capped it at three. I totally believe you, but there'll probably be more contemporary actors brought up in the games today. What do you got there, Joe? Honestly,
Starting point is 00:34:09 it's the... First of all, it's a play on I Am Legend, and the guy's name is Liam, so it says Liam Legend, but it's Liam Legend. It's hands down the shittiest one in the entire audience. He took a magazine and put post-it
Starting point is 00:34:24 notes on it. the pot leaf has nothing to do with i am legend he put post-it notes on that he taped this one is ripped in half there appears to be blood on the l the l appears to have blood on it uh but i picked this because i did dana gould's podcast earlier today with my friend Matt who has the Monster Party podcast and we talked about I Am Legend. I can't remember if it was on or off air but we talked a lot about I Am Legend today and I was like, well, that seems like a sign
Starting point is 00:34:53 so I'm going to do that one. What did you decide about I Am Legend? I have argued frequently with many fans. I know none of the, there were three adaptations of the book. A Vincent Price one, a Charlton Heston one, and and a Will Smith one there's a fourth one that's just terrible oh is that the one that Cary Grant was in yeah yeah the asylum did it I don't care for these zombies but I will say constantly and people
Starting point is 00:35:20 argue I go look I know the CGI sucks but the Will Smith version of it is the most enjoyable, solid telling of the story. It's not accurate to the book, but none of them are accurate to the book. The Price one is spooky until you watch Vincent Price have to fist fight, which looks fucking ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Which is one of the things we were talking about today. The Charlton Heston one is just him being like, I could still get laid. But the Will Smith one, you feel bad for him. He's got a dog. He's fucking attached to the dog. Wait, is the Charlton Heston one Omega Man? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Okay. And that's a great flick, but it's not better than Iron Legend. That's my favorite. I like it better than the Will Smith one. Why? Because there's a white guy who has sex with a black lady. Will Smith one. Why? Because there's a white guy who has sex with a black lady.
Starting point is 00:36:10 There's a lot of movies I can show you that have that in them. Better than Omega Man. No, I just, Omega Man has, you know, I guess there's more than one character in I Am Legend, but I Am Legend is a lot of Will Smith. Why would he go around talking to white mannequins and shit? It doesn't make any sense. They don't make a lot of black smith like why would he go around talking or talking to white mannequins
Starting point is 00:36:25 and like it doesn't make any sense they don't make a lot of black mannequins honestly have you been in the stores all right mostly beige all right let me take it back why is he talking to mannequins because he's coming unglued that's what i like about it you know like i didn't think they captured that the other dude the heston one he's living in like this plush he does seem to enjoy it. He's like screening movies at the theater and he's having a nice time. In the Heston one, he has
Starting point is 00:36:51 the darkest place you can go, a movie theater, where the whole thing is stay out of the dark because they're fucking sensitive to sun, yet he goes and watches a movie by himself in the dark every day. Which doesn't make sense. But he has a mannequin at his dinner table in that one. And at the beginning, he comes home
Starting point is 00:37:08 and the mannequin's sitting there and he sits down with no shirt on and he goes, he goes, I'm sorry, it's Sunday. I always dress for dinner on Sunday. And then he goes to the other room and comes back like all dressed up for the mannequin in his house, which I think he may or may not fuck.
Starting point is 00:37:22 At some point. I wouldn't be surprised. You know what? I do like that one the best. You're right. He fucks a mannequin. I'm glad I turned you around on that. Let's start tonight with a game
Starting point is 00:37:46 that we've only played once before on the show and it went over like gangbusters and if you were here for that, you know why there's a whole drum set up over here. You didn't even see the drums over there. Let's do some drum lines with Tony.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Tony Thaxton is here. Hey Tony. Hello. Thank you for being here and wearing your red pants. And he is gonna play a riff from a movie on the drums. And you guys have to guess, you can guess as often as you like, what movie it's from. He'll have a second riff ready to go if nobody gets it right on the first one is that right tony yeah do we buzz in with our names no you just say it yeah just say you just yell just scream so loud no one can hear the drums and you can dominate the game hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks what's that hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks. What's that? Hollywood has given us so many sweet drum licks.
Starting point is 00:38:45 It's true. Yes. Yeah, no, it's interesting. When I first brought the idea to Tony, he was like, oh, I haven't really, it's hard to think of drum licks that people would remember from movies. Yeah, I wanted to do it. I said yes, but then I thought about it,
Starting point is 00:38:59 and this is not easy to come up with. It's not easy, yeah. So he worked, how much time do you think he put into it a solid five minutes at least five minutes yeah took him five minutes to think of this so show some respect and what are you what's going on with you these days Tony what's what's coming up to people who come see your participate in well if people long listeners of the show and made know that I was in a band called motion city Soundtrack. Yes, you were. Nice. I wasn't
Starting point is 00:39:27 fishing, but thank you. And I now sometimes, my fiance has a band called Tiny Stills and I play drums in that occasionally. And there's currently a Kickstarter for the new record. So just go to Kickstarter and search Tiny Stills is the name of that band.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And it's going to the end of the month, May 31st. So, yeah, going to play drums on that record. Right on. Help them out. Make it happen, you guys. Tiny Stills. And are you ready to do this? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:59 This is going to be interesting because like last time, I think the first one is going to mean nothing to anybody. Okay. That's interesting. Let's see what kind of guesses we i think the first one is going to mean nothing to anybody okay and then we'll play a second riff he'll do a second riff if necessary all right tony look good feel good Is this like a dirty dancing thing? Whiplash! Drum line. Pretty drumming at all, yeah. Just mentioned drum movies.
Starting point is 00:40:41 But wait a minute. Now, does that... I'm confused about something because I've never played this game. Does it appear in the movie just as the drums or is there music over that oh there's probably also music but I don't want Tony to have to answer that because the second riff is gonna put it over the top here let's hope let's say it's the second one from the same movie? Yeah. Okay. Ready? Yeah. I got it! I got it! I got it!
Starting point is 00:41:09 That thing you do. Yep. Yeah! That thing you do! Well done. Do some more of that one. Very good. Love it! Woo! Good job, Joe DeRosa. Thank you. You win that game, but since they're so hard for Tony to come up with
Starting point is 00:41:32 and so fun to play, I said, give us a second one tonight. And he was like, what? Yeah, he asked me this as I'm walking out the door of home, pretty much. Yeah, and you've got to be at home near your... Why do you need to come up with these? How do you do it? You need your movie collection? All right, so let's just do another one for fun.
Starting point is 00:41:57 All right, again, might be the same way. First one might be tough, and I hope you can get the second one. Yeah, I love it. That's how this game should work. I tell Mark Wahlberg that all the time. It's pretty, I mean, it's pretty, what is that, Foghat? Well, there is no music over that part okay oh okay do you want to do it one more time I don't think it'll help but sure okay
Starting point is 00:42:41 all right I like it Give us the second one. All right. Is that like a Mad Max thing? It sounds like that song, well, let me tell you that I want to raise.
Starting point is 00:43:07 What song is it? You know what song I'm talking about? It sounds like that song where Joe DeRosa had a stroke. No, that goddamn,
Starting point is 00:43:15 that song, that band, that indie rock band, there's a girl who's the singer. Oh, let me tell you that I want to
Starting point is 00:43:23 raise. Fuck. That was a fucking famous song. Yeah, it sounds like that famous Yeah Yeah Yeah song. Okay, all right. I can see it a little bit. I got nothing. Yeah, that was a tough one.
Starting point is 00:43:40 What is it? Does anybody think they know it? Oh, there's a second row of young ladies. What? No, not almost. second row of young ladies. What? No, not almost. No? First row? The Thing?
Starting point is 00:43:48 The Thing. Interesting. It is another movie about a band. Really? I'll give that clue. Spinal Tap? Can you give us one more? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Wait, what do you think it is, Joe? No, no, no. He said it. He said Spinal Tap, which is the right movie, yes. It's Spinal Tap? This is Spinal Tap? Yeah, it was Big Bottom. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Wow. Well, that was anticlimactic, right? Tony Thaxton, everybody. Hey. Tiny Stills. Just throwing that in there one more time. All right, so since Joe got that first one right, he's the official winner of that game.
Starting point is 00:44:31 So we're going to start with Joe on a round of Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Okay. Joe gets to go first, then we'll go to Tully, and then Chris. And Joe, all you got to do is tell me what movie this is the tagline for, according to IMDb. It's on the poster or in an advertisement for the movie. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:55 What movie went with the tagline, it's hotter than hell? So you got to think about this this it's obviously very hot god damn it it's warmer than a fictional place it's hotter than hell and that's the only clue I get I don't get a genre that's all you get
Starting point is 00:45:21 why do you need a genre for do you think it's a romantic comedy? It's hotter than hell. I know this is wrong. I feel like it's Tropic Thunder. Okay, that's incorrect. Yeah. You were right about being wrong.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Michael Tully? That it is definitely Lambada the Forbidden Dance. Oh, it's not definitely that, but very clever answer. Chris. Dante's Peak. Ooh. That is a really good guess. Also incorrect.
Starting point is 00:46:01 The answer is Volcano. Oh, son of a bitch! I was going to say volcano, but I assumed that was like an L.A.-based tagline. That's ridiculous. It's exactly as hot as hell. Hey, you know that for sure? Lava and hell are equal? Isn't hell lava?
Starting point is 00:46:22 I guess so. With more S and M? This could be... Alright, so nobody got that one, so we'll start with Joe again. And the tagline for this movie is, whatever you
Starting point is 00:46:37 do, don't look back. Whatever you do, don't look back. Is it the movie don't look yeah usually the movie titles not in the tagline it is every once in a while but certainly not in this game well it could be the way I should ever cry sure we're playing maybe the way I pictured it. For a crisis we're playing, maybe. The way I pictured it was over the title, Don't Look Back. It said, whatever you do, dot, dot, dot, and then the title, Don't Look Back. Well, I apologize.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I should have read it correctly. Whatever you do, comma, don't look back. So I see where you'd get thrown off. You don't have to be mean about it. It's very hard. It's not an easy game. Mike? What was the fault line movie?
Starting point is 00:47:31 San Andreas? Oh, that's... No. Is there a theme? What's that? Is there a theme? I don't know. It could be.
Starting point is 00:47:40 What do you think it is, Chris? I'm going to go with It Follows. That's the tagline from Dante's Peak. Are you serious? Fuck me. Son of a bitch. Also, why? Why is that the tagline of Dante's Peak?
Starting point is 00:47:56 Because if you look back, the lava's on you. Oh, if you look back to see where the lava is. I'm under lava. If I'd have kept running instead of looking back. You should be looking back. You should constantly be looking back to see where the lava is. You gotta keep tabs on that lava. You pretty much set your pace by it, I'd imagine.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Yeah, yeah. It was a very Seinfeldian delivery on that. You gotta keep pace on that lava. I did that on purpose. I like yelling things like side effects. There's a scene in that movie That sounded like a King of the Hill character.
Starting point is 00:48:34 There's a scene in that movie where the grandmother has to walk into the lava and die. It is so depressing. So does the dude,
Starting point is 00:48:49 no, which one is the one where the dude from Drew Carey slash Zodiac walks into the lava? Is that Volcano? There's a Drew Carey slash Zodiac person? Yeah, so Mimi Bobeck's husband
Starting point is 00:49:02 is one of the suspects in Zodiac. He jumps off a volcano. He melts as he's saving a kid in the subway. Holy shit. I know those movies, I just don't know the fucking taglines. I apologize. We're going to start with Joe again.
Starting point is 00:49:19 You guys are doing great. Joe, what movie has the tagline? Oceans rise, cities fall, hope survives. The Day After Tomorrow. No. Fuck. Damn it. MT.
Starting point is 00:49:39 If I remember correctly, the mine apocalypse was 2012? Oh. No. Chris. remember correctly the mine apocalypse was 2012? Oh. No. This is not my answer, but I was about to be like, if it's Joe versus the volcano, I'd be very angry if Joe has to guess that. My guess is you said day after tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:49:58 You said whatever. And it's oceans rise, cities fall. We know the tagline for Joe versus the volcano is jump soda, it refreshes. Oceans rise. We know the tagline for Joe versus a volcano is jump soda, it refreshes. Oceans rise, cities fall, hope survives. There's a flood. It's about, there's a character named Hope. Well, it's not Hope Floats.
Starting point is 00:50:18 She's the only one that wins. It's definitely not Hope Floats. But the oceans rise, maybe it is Hope Floats. I'm going to say... Chicago Hope. No, I'm going to say... Deep Impact. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Woo! See, but now here's what bothers me about that tagline. Deep Impact is about a fucking asteroid hitting the Earth. You don't think oceans. Deep Impact is about a fucking asteroid hitting the Earth. You don't think oceans with Deep Impact? True. I did. So why is that?
Starting point is 00:50:56 Does that happen in the movie? The whole movie is about them and the spaceship. Yeah, no. The asteroid hits and it makes the... There's a big flood and fucking Elijah Wood has to run from it. Is it Elijah Wood? There's a kid in it. I don't remember. Alright, Joe.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Here's your next one. Heads up. God damn it. I know it's another flooding one. Heads up. What's the... Heads up. Heads up. Do you give up?
Starting point is 00:51:40 No. The day after tomorrow, I'll be going with that again. No. Okay. Mike? I had no idea. The Sandlot. It's that, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:51:55 Chris? I'm not going to dignify that with a yes or no. All right. Chris? I'm going to try to stick with a theme. Okay. And heads up. I think that can't be Armageddon. I'm going to say to stick with a theme. Okay. And heads up, that can't be Armageddon.
Starting point is 00:52:09 I'm going to say San Andreas for heads up. What? Why? Fuck you, man. What? What do you think it is? No, don't ask him. Don't drag him into it.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I don't know. The correct answer is Armageddon. Son of a bitch! That's the... What? Alright, that makes me very angry. Why? It's just real shitty what you're doing tonight, Doug. Alright, here's an easy one for you, Joe.
Starting point is 00:52:41 I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't know any more disaster movies. Here's a real easy one. The tagline for San Andreas was, this movie's called San Andreas. And that will be the tagline for the day after tomorrow. What movie, Joe, had the tagline, one man could lead this team to glory,
Starting point is 00:53:02 that man was busy. Yeah, it's supposed to be funny. Tropic Thunder. No. God damn it. God damn it. The Elephant Man. Is that your guess, Michael? What Joe said? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going with Joe's answer.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Is it right this time? Yeah, no. I don't know. Nixon? That's not a bad guess. Chris? Okay. One man could lead this team to glory.
Starting point is 00:53:39 That man was busy. He was busy. Whatever. He's clearly not even in the movie. Sure. But he probably is. He was busy, whatever. He's clearly not even in the movie. Sure. He's busy doing another movie. I'm going to say Towering Inferno.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Why would they have a joke? Fuck you. I don't know, man. Why would Heads Up be for Armageddon? I'm just saying disaster movies. Because it was about an asteroid hurtling towards Earth, Armageddon. Yeah, that's true. It was funny that you dismissed
Starting point is 00:54:14 it so easily. There's like a team of firefighters that Heads Up is the only one that's made any fucking sense so far. One Man Can Lead the Way. That man was busy. It's from the Will Ferrell comedy, Kicking and Screaming. Oh, so we've just
Starting point is 00:54:31 abandoned the theme. Or he's a soccer coach. Well, it was a bit of a disaster. It was a bit of a disaster. Do you know how excited Doug just got when you started going that's not a that doesn't make sense he was like here comes my line
Starting point is 00:54:51 it was not planned in advance though I promise you that it was a happy accident whenever you have a baby so Joe yes what do you think this movie's a tagline for? Anxiety loves company.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Analyze this. No. Fuck. But I want to say briefly, I am not caught up to where you would be but you appeared on Better Call Saul
Starting point is 00:55:28 yes that's awesome yeah yeah I've been yeah yeah we went into
Starting point is 00:55:34 the early season though right yeah I've been in since the beginning only a couple episodes per season but they keep bringing me back
Starting point is 00:55:40 so it's nice oh you've been in every season yeah yeah because I haven't watched any of it yet well then yeah you wouldn't. Well, then, yeah. You wouldn't have seen me then.
Starting point is 00:55:48 But yeah, I've been in all three seasons. All right. That's the show I've got to get into. Yeah, I actually got to just, I finally did a scene with Bob Odenkirk, which was really cool. That was really fucking fun. The whole thing's been very fun. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Yeah, yeah. I'm very happy for you, and'm gonna check it out thank you but I'm more interested in what this movie is the it's not analyzed this Tully you got any ideas any Hall no but a Woody Allen movies not not a bad guess. Yeah. Well, there's only a couple of those. Which is the one where he molested his daughter? Anxiety. I don't remember which movie. Oh, hold on. Anxiety loves company.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Man, I want to say Analyze That so bad. But I'm going to say High Anxiety. It's from a movie called Kicking and Screaming. Oh, the drama one? From 1996. Alright, so I think Chris is the only one that got
Starting point is 00:56:59 right answers in that. I got one. Right answer. You got one? I got one. And who else got one? Nobody. Yeah, so Chris wins that game. I had a tiebreaker
Starting point is 00:57:14 ready to go, but I'm going to save it for another episode. No, I'll just do it. Nobody's tying in that game. It happens sometimes. But I'll just do it and you guys all
Starting point is 00:57:24 just yell out when you think you know it. Okay. Every dog happens for a reason. Marley and me. Kicking and screaming. A dog's purpose. A dog's purpose is right.
Starting point is 00:57:38 We kind of jinxed. Both said it. Thank you. Can I have the point on that one? There's no point. That was just for fun. That's why I gave it to one, Joe. Thank you. Can I have the point on that one? There's no point. That was just for fun. That's why I gave it to you. A bunch of shit. I'm going to do that one on a future show and
Starting point is 00:57:51 no one on the panel will know it from having heard this because no one who comes on this show listens to this show. That's a really easy one, though. Works out pretty good. For a tiebreaker. That's pretty easy. Right. There's not that easy one, though. Works out pretty good. For a tiebreaker, that's pretty easy. Right? There's not that many heartfelt dog movies.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Are there any not heartfelt dog movies? No, but I mean like... Just dogs being a part of it. I fucking cried at Hotel for Dogs in my hotel room the other day. But you know that that's not Hotel for Dogs, my point. You know it's either Marley and me or a dog. I was like, if they don't get that conveyor belt up and going again, these dogs are going to starve.
Starting point is 00:58:33 And then Don Cheadle walks in, I'm like, is this Hotel Rwanda for Dogs? I always say that's the laziest title for a movie I've ever heard. Hotel for Dogs is the laziest title ever. Only to be topped by A Hologram for the King. What's this movie about? A Hologram for the King. Well, I mean, as long as we're going after Tom Hanks,
Starting point is 00:58:55 the worst title in my book is Larry Crown. Like, who gives a fuck about Larry Crown? I mean, Forrest Gump, that was a weird name and a weird dude. Yeah, yeah. Larry Crown's a regular name and a regular dude. Why am I going to see this? His name's Larry and he's got a bicycle. That's all we know for sure.
Starting point is 00:59:14 All right, let's play a little game called Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Yeah. Bennington's adjusted for inflation bureau game yeah so we said Chris won that last thing so Chris gets to go first and then we'll go to Tully and then to Joe
Starting point is 00:59:34 and basically the idea is Chris I'm going to say the name of an actor or actress and you're going to tell me what you think might be in their top three hopefully you want the number one movie that they've been in, box office-wise, domestic, total, after being adjusted for inflation. It's a lot of fucking ladies.
Starting point is 00:59:56 By boxofficemojo.com. Okay. So the first name, and like I said, you go individually, and Chris gets the first crack at it. Billy Bob Thornton. Ooh. BBT. BBT. I'm going to say.
Starting point is 01:00:16 What's in his top three? I'm going to say. I love BBT. Armageddon. Yeah, you know me. Okay, what do you got for us there, Tully? The first Bad Santa? God damn it.
Starting point is 01:00:32 That's what... Suck it to Rosa. Okay, Joe, so Bad Santa's taken. What else do you think? Billy Bob Thornton. I'm going to roll the dice on Monster's Ball. Oh, okay. Box office bonanza. I'm sure that made a lot of money.
Starting point is 01:00:51 It got nominated. People around the block waiting for rape. It got nominated for things. It won an award. Okay, you're right. So maybe. Okay. It's either that or a simple plan, and I don't think it's a simple plan. Is there rape in that movie or is she just not enjoying it?
Starting point is 01:01:08 No, she's super into it. No, no. They like bone. They have like... They're into it. Yeah, they're into it. Okay, so apologies for the rape mention. Felt like a movie that would have that in it. Now that I think of it, every Billy Bob Thornton movie
Starting point is 01:01:25 seems like it would have rape in it. And yet, now I also can't think of one that does. And I'll tell you, Bad Santa skirts way closer to that thing than Monsters Ball does. All right, so what were the three answers again? Armageddon, Bad Santa, Monsters Ball. Okay, so coming, Monster's Ball. Okay, so coming in at number six
Starting point is 01:01:48 is Bad Santa. Yeah, so not worth any points. Not worth fighting over, fellas. Number three, he's a voice in Puss in Boots. So I take back the thing I said about he's not in any movies with
Starting point is 01:02:05 rape that's boots and puss poor cartoon one time I met a guy in Alabama at a show and he told me his dream was open a strip club that sold shoes and he wanted to call it Puss in Boots. His dream. That's the best. And he said it so innocently. I was like, go make your dream happen.
Starting point is 01:02:34 That's super achievable. Yeah, no one would be bothered by a strip club with the word puss in the title. That also, that also cobbles shoes, apparently. Number two for Billy Bob Thornton.
Starting point is 01:02:52 You might not remember him being in it, but it's the film Indecent Proposal. Wow. Made a ton of money, and I guess he participated in some way. And then coming in at number one and worth three points Armageddon so Chris has three and now we rotate so Michael Tully gets to go first and name a film that's in the top three of mr. Owen Wilson did someone say who what is he Owen Wilson been in did he ever canoodle with Jennifer Aniston oh boy oh yeah he was
Starting point is 01:03:45 Marley and Me Marley and Me I'm gonna go with that Wedding Crashers I'm gonna say Armageddon again Oh yeah He's in fucking Armageddon Yes sir God damn it
Starting point is 01:04:03 You're starting to figure out how this works. I didn't know he was in that. I never saw it. I don't know. It's kind of a surprise to me as well that coming in at number five is Wedding Crashers. Yeah. Not enough to get you any points. And then his number
Starting point is 01:04:22 three movie is Cars. Yeah. That made a shit ton of money. get you any points. And then his number three movie is Cars. Yeah, that made a shit ton of money because kids love it when Owen Wilson is the voice of a car. And coming in at number two, Armageddon. Two more points for Chris.
Starting point is 01:04:40 And then his number one movie, Meet the Fuckers. Oh, wow, really? Yeah, that made a lot of fucking money. All right. Joe gets to go first this time. Okay. And, you know,
Starting point is 01:04:59 my only advice to you at this point is you probably can't win. No, no, I was just thinking it's unwinnable at this point is you probably can't win. No, no. I was just thinking it's unwinnable at this point. All right. But let's give it a shot. All right. Let's see what we can do.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Liv Tyler. Return of the King. The films of Liv Tyler. Return of the King. See you guys. Okay, full title The Lord of the Rings Featuring, call him the Return of the King Featuring Yeah, the Return of the King
Starting point is 01:05:37 Is a hot guest verse J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, call him the Return of the King Peter Jackson jerking himself off the five hour extended cut. I just love the title The Lord of the Rings, The Return
Starting point is 01:05:54 of the King because it has the most thes of any title in history. And it rhymes too, sort of. Sort of too. Okay. Chris? I'm going with Armageddon. Just of too. Okay. Chris? I'm going to go with Armageddon. Just sticking with what works. Oh, wait a minute.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Now I see how. Yeah, you see that? I didn't know she was in fucking Armageddon. They did the song. Her dad did the song. Her dad did the song. There's a video. Close your eyes, Joe. You tried to make up
Starting point is 01:06:25 for being an awful parent for 30 years with an awful ghostwritten pop song? Yeah. Yeah, that song sucks. Do you have a guess? Well, shit,
Starting point is 01:06:39 it's obviously Armageddon. No, it's probably one of those fucking Lord of the Rings movies. What are the other ones even called? I don't know. Lord of the Rings 2? The Legend of Smog's Gold?
Starting point is 01:06:54 I saw that fucking trilogy, man. It's just a blur. The last half hour of the third one just wiped the entire fucking thing from my brain. Yeah, those are tough titles to remember. I always get screwed up by those titles in the games. But it doesn't matter. We've established that Chris is clearly the winner of this.
Starting point is 01:07:16 What's the actual order? But it's still fun to kick Chris one more time when he's up. Because for Liv Tyler, coming in at number four, Armageddon. Son of a bitch! No points! Number two, Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring. Oh, that's got four thes in it, too. Oh, and with only
Starting point is 01:07:35 three thes, coming in at number two, The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. And Liv Tyler's number one movie, The Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King. Three points for Joe. Too little, too late, but you got on the board. I know, but I saw that point from the first game,
Starting point is 01:07:57 the drum game. It doesn't work that way. All right. We took away... Oh, wait. But also, did you get that thing you do also? I got that thing you do. Oh, yeah, that wasn't it. That was just for fun, even.
Starting point is 01:08:16 You said it was a game. No, that was the first one. No, you gave me a point. Oh, what was the second thing he did, though? Oh, the second thing he did was Spinal Tap. Spinal Tap. Yeah, who got that one? I got that one. Totally got that one. But that one was the fun one. I got the real one. But that point doesn't mean anything. You just got to go first
Starting point is 01:08:33 in the next game. This is a bunch of bullshit. It's like playing Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. They can just fucking lead you through it by the nose. Oh, I'm sorry, you guys. You just fell into a moat. Yeah, I feel like we're in Doug's basement
Starting point is 01:08:53 and he just took the board away. No, fine. We're fucking not playing anymore. Ghost of Harmontown haunts this podcast. It's in the same space, so we have to pay tribute. Let's play one more game, because we do have time for it. Let's play Last Man Stanton. So Chris won that game, so he gets to go first in this game,
Starting point is 01:09:19 and this is the game that really matters. It's going to go Chris, then me, I'll play along, and then Joe, and then Michael, and we're going to take turns naming movies that a person's been in. Audience members reach out to me on Twitter saying they've got the perfect name for this game because I don't like to know what it is in advance. So I preselected someone named Adam Goodell.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Are you here? Oh, wow, you have a couple of friends and everything. And where'd you come in from? Uh, Sherman Oaks. Sherman Oaks, thanks for making the effort. I, you know, I've lived in L.A. a long time, and I don't even think I've met someone from Sherman Oaks because I live on the other side of
Starting point is 01:10:09 the hill and what's your suggestion for the game dude no I don't know if it's actually pronounced Frazier but that is a tough one brendan frazier no no it's pronounced frazier frazier that's like a pet peeve of his i've seen interviews where he's like it's not frazier it's frazier he gets very angry about all right well so joe is our winner then because he knew that thing about he knows that thing that Frazier does. Yeah. Brendan Fraze. What, I mean, can he still,
Starting point is 01:10:52 what is he getting mad about these days? Like that he's not working at all? I think that he's, he's bankrupt. He's one of those guys that's like fully belly up. Yeah, I know. It's sad. It's very sad.
Starting point is 01:11:00 This is like the end of the founder who really got Bummy in here. I gotta be honest, I don't miss him. I've always found him to be a character actor in a dumb Lomax's body. So I've enjoyed a lot of his performances,
Starting point is 01:11:22 but he's kind of held back by being Brendan Fraser, I think. I know, it's sad. If only he had died today, then this would be an especially poignant round. Instead of just trashing the living. Yeah, why didn't you say Powers Booth? That would be a tough one.
Starting point is 01:11:42 That would be. I will say, though, my favorite Powers Booth movie is Southern Comfort. Great movie. Really good. He's great in that. Of course, he was great as Jim Jones in the Guyana Massacre movie. Guyana.
Starting point is 01:11:58 It's Frazier. There's two things that piss off Brendan Frazier, and it's mispronouncing Frazier and Guyana. Both drive him absolutely nuts. So you guys each have one lifeline. One time during this game, you can go to the person whose name tag you chose. All right.
Starting point is 01:12:18 I am lifeline-less, but we'll start with Chris. The mummy. What do you think of this new Tom Cruise mummy? It didn't look like there was any mummies. It has this spectacular... It's about a plane crash. It's all plane crash in the trailer.
Starting point is 01:12:37 And then they say to him, you survived the plane crash. That must mean that you know the mummy. You're like the mummy. You're like the mummy. You could survive anything. Alright. I'm going to go with...
Starting point is 01:12:51 I'd like to go back to the beginning if that's okay with everybody. When we first fell in love with the phrase you're... and say Encino Man. Alright. The Mummy Returns.
Starting point is 01:13:10 You really think you're clever, don't you? I know exactly what I'm doing right now. I fill in the pocket. The Mummy Returns. Jerry Maguire Part 2.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Show me the money again. The Mummy Returns. Wasn't he in a 3D movie, Journey to the Center of the Earth? Yeah, but then you get into trouble here because it had some sort of wacky title. Is it the first one? It was just called Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D maybe? I think so. Okay. I'll take it. Thank you. I like it.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Appreciate that. You're welcome. Chris? Monkey Bone. Oh! Yeah. That's an underrated one. Bob Odenkirk's in Monkey Bone. Bankrupted Studio. Giant Failure. I don't know if it bankrupted it.
Starting point is 01:14:10 For a long time, it was third on the list of biggest failures of all time. For some reason, it cost a crazy amount of money. It was like Pluto Nash, man. Whoa. That's some heavy shit you're throwing down right there. For Brandon Frazier, I'm going to say School Ties. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:14:31 Very good film. The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Is that the, hold on, is that the actual name of that movie? That is.
Starting point is 01:14:43 It was his return to the franchise. I know Jet Li's in it, but I just don't remember. Jet Li and Brendan Freeman. And nobody else is in it. Everybody else was like, nah, I'm not going to do this one. Me and my eyebrows are out of here. I'll be over here in the lobster stabbing my eyeballs out.
Starting point is 01:14:59 That's really a thing? Yeah. I thought it was like verse of the... Whatever, it doesn't matter. I thought you were just naming a Chinese restaurant what was the one that he was in with Liz Hurley was that called Bedazzled
Starting point is 01:15:19 that's correct that was an awful movie now we're getting into the thick of it we're getting deep cuts now That's correct. That was an awful movie. Now we're getting into the thick of it. We're getting deep cuts now. Blast from the Past. No one has mentioned an Academy Award winner for Best Picture.
Starting point is 01:15:41 He was in Crash. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Which car was he in? He was in Crash. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Which car was he in? He was Sandra Bullock's husband or whatever. Oh, word. Yeah. They were the white people in there.
Starting point is 01:15:56 Dudley Do-Right. Yes. Oh, word. I think I'm going to have to go to my lifeline here. Okay. Tully goes to the lifeline. God damn. Oh, yeah. Of course.
Starting point is 01:16:07 George of the Jungle. I was sitting on that one. Thank you. That's what they say? George of the Jungle? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to the lifeline.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Chris is going to his lifeline. Let's go Extraordinary Measures. Extraordinary Measures. He's got like five dialed up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The medical thriller. With Harrison Ford. No, no.
Starting point is 01:16:29 I'm thinking of a raw movie. Anyway, good work. I'm thinking of, is it Extreme Measures? With Gene Hackman and Hugh, no? Hugh Grant. There you go.
Starting point is 01:16:40 Thank you, sir. All right. Oh, this one. Yeah, it's Doug. I'm going to go with Thank you, sir. All right. I'm going to go with... Oh, shit. This got rough. I think I'm going to fuck it up.
Starting point is 01:16:56 I'm going to try and see if everybody's happy with it. It's going to be wrong out I know it's close lifeline Joe's lifeline he sounded like he might have something. Game one. What was it? Airheads. He said airheads. He went from I've got nothing to airheads? Oh, I'm assuming somebody told him airheads. Somebody fucking cheated. Clearly, someone next to him said airheads. Yeah, he took it and ran with it. Ah, airheads.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I fucking had airheads in my back pocket. No, you didn't. I swear to God. I had George of the Jungle in mine, and you got it from your lifeline. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, then I'm just going to have to say George of the Jungle in mind and you got it from your lifeline. Alright, well then I'm just going to have to say George of the Jungle 2. I don't think that's true.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Oh shit. Rumble in the Jungle. I didn't know there was a second one. I have no idea what the full title is. This guy is a motherfucker. He's like, full fucking title, I'm taking a stab here. Okay.
Starting point is 01:18:09 Maybe I'm right. Maybe you're wrong. Did you do your lifeline yet? I already did. Okay. I believe he was in a movie called Gods and Monsters. Yes, he was.
Starting point is 01:18:20 That's right. With Ian McKellen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, nice pull. That's a real nice pull. Joe is out of his seat with unhappiness. You're out.
Starting point is 01:18:31 I'm gone, yeah. This is Joe. I blew it with that American. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, shit, here it comes. I don't like it. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Starting point is 01:18:40 We can't wait. We can't wait a whole minute. Is it Rookie of the Year, the one where he plays baseball? No. Nice try, though. What is that one? Don't help him.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Don't help him. I'm out now. She winned. You still don't want to know. There's still a game going. He's already out. We're all out, though. Right, but Chris gets to go again.
Starting point is 01:19:03 Why do I get to go again? What was the movie where he played again? Because, you know. Oh, what was the movie where he played baseball? Hold on a second. It wasn't Rookie of the Year, but was it just The Rookie? No. What? Albert Brooks.
Starting point is 01:19:16 Albert Brooks. Oh, yeah. Now I know what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Scout. The Scout. Whatever. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:19:23 I already won. All right. Chris is our winner, but what else did we miss? Looney Tunes back in action, of course. How can you be so angry that nobody said that? With honors.
Starting point is 01:19:35 With honors. He's not in the Scorpene. Furry Vengeance. No, no, no. The Quiet American. The Quiet American. God damn it. I just went with a regular American. God damn it. I just went with a regular American. What is George of the Jungle?
Starting point is 01:19:50 Regular loud ass Americans. There it is. George of the Jungle 2 is called Jungle. No, that's not right. Jungle the Jungle is a Tim Allen movie? Yeah, Tim Allen and Martin Short were in Jungle the Jungle. He's also in Dickie Roberts. He's in Dickie Roberts? Child Star or whatever that was called?
Starting point is 01:20:08 Former Child Star. Who does he play in it? He's got like a cameo. Longest explanation you can come up with. Would be great. But yeah, he was... He said like one sentence. I don't know if you have a podcast, Joe,
Starting point is 01:20:33 but one sentence off microphone is five or six seconds of silence to the listeners. So I try to keep it tight. You're right, you're right. Yeah, yeah. But I appreciate that he knows so much about that cameo role. Are there any other ones we missed? I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:20:50 We really summed up Brendan Fraser's career. And he's been he's done some good stuff. And some really bad stuff. It's just called George of the Jungle 2. It's just George of the Jungle 2, which means technically Tully is still in the game. Oh, he's not in it? He's not in George of the Jungle 2? It's just George of the Jungle 2, which means technically Tully is still in the game.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Oh, he's not in it? He's not in George of the Jungle 2. Which means technically fuck Tully. Oh, that's, wow. Stop trying to take soundtracks out of my friend's hands, please. He's not in it? All right.
Starting point is 01:21:29 How many times must I lose this same game over and over that sucks who took over the coveted George of the Jungle role who's the poor man's Brendan Fraser who Christopher Showerman no I don't believe you Who? Christopher Showerman?
Starting point is 01:21:47 No. I don't believe you. Sounds like a QVC model. Alright, well that means Chris is our winner. Congratulations, Nick! Come get all this stuff. Yeah, grab it. Run with it. Congratulations. Yeah, those are some nice prizes. Yeah, do you want this thing back oh he doesn't care he's got a copy I knew everyone go all even though he just said he doesn't even want it back yeah yeah he wants you
Starting point is 01:22:22 to set it on fire we can't't do that. There's health codes. Please don't be. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. We don't need a great white situation here. A great white situation. You want the pieces back? No, the lighter. Oh. No, I'm going to hang on to the lighter.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Because I'm going to get high outside later. I'm going to need that. All right. Thanks, Nick. Let's do some plugs. Starting with Joe DeRosa. What do you got coming up, dude? Well, I want to plug my podcast again.
Starting point is 01:22:52 We'll see you in hell and head gum. Again, it's a movie review show. It gets heated. It's a lot of fun. And then Kurt Braunohler and I have a thing called Emotional Hangs on Pharoah Audio about adult friendship. Well, thank you very much. So yeah, that's it. I think you and I have a wonderful adult friendship.
Starting point is 01:23:11 You're my newest friend. It just started recently. I'd say you're my newest friend also. Tonight we had a drink. That was the first time we ever hung out like outside of the venue. So that was nice. Yeah, it was really nice.
Starting point is 01:23:23 I liked it. Yeah, I'm really into it. Yeah. Keep up the good work, Joe. You too. Let's take this friendship to the top. Michael Tully weekdays from
Starting point is 01:23:42 8 to 11, 15 AM Pacific Time on Faction 103 Sirius XM. Tully weekdays from 8 to 11, 15 a.m. Pacific time on Faction 103 SiriusXM. Yep, and then the Tully show's on there as well, and it's also a podcast. People can get it that way. And I am at Tully on Twitter. I barely tweet, so I'm a pretty offensive follow.
Starting point is 01:24:00 Oh, okay. That's a good pitch. Yeah. Follow me. I don't write much. It won't bother you. If you're following me, you'll barely notice that you're following me.
Starting point is 01:24:09 You won't even know I'm there. Just do it. I like it. I've been sitting in on Tuesday mornings on Jason Ellis, so I'll see you tomorrow morning. See you tomorrow. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I don't want to get between you and Joe. This is super awkward now.
Starting point is 01:24:31 What? Chris Cubis? This weekend, I'm at the Crapshoot Comedy Festival in Las Vegas with Dave Attell and who else is on the festival? Morgan Murphy. There's a bunch of great comics. Kurt Brunner is there. Kurt Brunner is absolutely there. Yeah, it's going to be super fun.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Check out my podcast. It's called Canceled. We watch TV shows that only last in one season. A couple of you like it. Thank you. We're currently watching The Adventures of Briscoe County Jr., which is super fun. That show is great and just keeps getting better every episode. Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he's a trip.
Starting point is 01:25:03 For sure. Yeah, I got to, last summer I smoked weed with him. Yeah, Bruce Campbell, he's a trip. For sure. Yeah, I got to, last summer I smoked weed with him. Yeah. And I'll tell you the whole story on the next.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Is there a shithead on this I Am Legend thing? No. Because you went, it took so much time and effort to put these post-its on here.
Starting point is 01:25:24 That like also, including a shithead would be too much. Do you want to write it down on the back of one of these post-its? Here, Nick, can you pass that back to him and make it happen? Because we've got to have a shithead at the end. Let's see if this one's got one. Wait, the other name tag doesn't have one either. I didn't know about it.
Starting point is 01:25:41 You didn't know about it? You knew enough to bring a name tag? I didn't know about it. You didn't know about it? You knew enough to bring a name tag? Because people just tell you, just put your face on a movie poster and bring it. Don't worry about the details.
Starting point is 01:25:56 Is there anybody you're mad at right now or you think is shitty? Anna? Anna, Anna, fair to remember? It's a really tough question, I guess. Life's pretty good for you right now. Yeah, I don't know if you've looked at the news. Shit's pretty tight. There's nothing to complain about.
Starting point is 01:26:17 Pretty gorgeous out there. Rainbows. Do you want someone near you to help you with this? That's too much pressure. I agree. I don't know why I ever started this thing. There's other people in the audience going, I've got one.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Nothing? She does have a MAGA sweatshirt on, so it's a little... It's just different. Everyone looked like that was possibly real? That there's just one Trump supporter in his fucking nerd room? I also think people that don't support Trump
Starting point is 01:26:56 don't sit around talking about MAGA. Like, that's not really a word. That's true. I made that up. a word. That's true. I made that up. Let's see what the other person Oh, that's not a bad one. I guess I could just have one shithead at the end. Alert to the booth.
Starting point is 01:27:18 Get ready to the theme. Unprecedented one shithead. This lady is living in a bubble of perfection. Congratulations, Anna. unprecedented one shithead. This lady is living in a bubble of perfection. Congratulations, Anna. At the very least, the person who was playing for you who lost, you should call a shithead.
Starting point is 01:27:42 But it was a classy choice on your part, Michael Tully. And we got all your plugs in, Chris? Yes, sir. All right, great. Like I said earlier in the show, we'll be back over at UCB Franklin here in Los Angeles on May 23rd.
Starting point is 01:27:59 Thank you, everyone, for being here. One more time for all of my guests, Joe DeRosa, Michael Talley, and Chris Cubis. And as always, the director of Scientology is a shithead! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Rise up, don't just do it viewing prowess makes it foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.