Doug Loves Movies - Chris Gethard, Geoff Tate and Trey Galyon guest

Episode Date: June 18, 2018

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis, Doug welcomes Chris Gethard, Geoff Tate and Trey Galyon to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notic...e at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Dougie Fuss! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! I love this guy over here with ruined.
Starting point is 00:00:48 And this is Tom Loves Movies! Nice switch out. Or nice addition. You could always use more words. Thank you guys so much for being here. We're coming to you once again. I always have to look at the backdrop to remind myself. It's got the club name and the city drawing.
Starting point is 00:01:07 It's all there for me. We're at Helium in St. Louis, Missouri. Who here calls it Missouri? That's what I thought. I don't get that at all. Whenever I hear that, I just go, what? What are you, from Illinois? It's Saturday, June 16, 2018, and I got to say, I have yet to be disappointed by the
Starting point is 00:01:52 name tags here in St. Louis, so let me see them, please. I've seen that one before. Yeah. I thought so. The big Lebretzky. Jaws. Jost Lebretzky. Joss- Joss- Jostin instead of Justin.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Austin. Your name's Austin? Yes. Okay, now I don't like it. The Muppets take Dan Hatton. With a huge Burt Kreischer face on it. You really think he's going to show up here with me again? Beth becomes her.
Starting point is 00:02:35 It's a delightful poster, but also has some giant candy bars on it. There's at least two of my guests up here today I think might pick that. Nikki instead of Rocky. that's very well done oh no you just slapped an N and an I on there I mean you did a great job of doing that I saw this one on
Starting point is 00:02:57 the internet today it's you took the poster for John Travolta in Gotti right and changed it you don't have to show them I just I described it pretty good and you changed it to Kathleen is Digby who's Digby your last name Kathleen Digby and you know Gotti is a tv program not a movie I'm not you know I'm not judging you for that but I don't pick the name tag so so if these guys don't kill you, then you're golden. St. Ephany's Fire, so it looks like
Starting point is 00:03:33 St. Elmo's Fire. I like that. Oh my god, there's even ones way in the back. One flew over the cuckoo's jess, written really large on a card, like it's my cue card. I got to remember to say that. Anyway, lots of great ones. There's one with balloons on it over there. Sixteen Candles is the movie. Christine Candles.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I like it. All right. Thanks, you guys. Like I said, you always have great name tags here. It's not going to be easy for my guests to pick, but I'm going to make them do it. All right. Thanks, you guys. Like I said, you always have great name tags here. It's not going to be easy for my guests to pick, but I'm going to make them do it because that's how this works. Doug Pluggs, this Thursday, June 19th, I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Kansas City. Bring your name tags.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Sunday, June 24th, I'm at the Rio Theater in Vancouver, B.C., Canada. And Tuesday, January 76th, Doug's Los Movies is back at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles. That last one we did in Los Angeles, having Bob Saget and Jon Hamm and Jeff Tate all together was pretty exciting. Really exciting for Jeff. The other two guys were a little less excited. But Saget was really in love with Jon Hamm, and that was adorable. Because Jon Hamm doesn't do social media,
Starting point is 00:04:53 and Bob kept asking him to take pictures and stuff. And the next day, Bob's texting me, Do you think Jon was irritated by my love of social media? Yeah, he seems to get irritated easily. And then, now I'm thinking of his character in Baby Driver. On Saturday, June 30th at 420
Starting point is 00:05:13 Douglas Movies is at the Rex Theater in Pittsburgh. Citizens! Get your tickets! And, uh, for all my dates, deets, and links,
Starting point is 00:05:26 oh my, go to douglovesmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com! Yeah! Woo! Woo! That was a really good one.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm gonna have to go to an ear doctor. Doctor, I do shows and everybody screams at me. Oh, maybe you're not very good. Maybe you need some work. All right, so I got a prize bag that, first of all, I saw SpongeBob SquarePants the musical on Broadway, and so I got a beautiful SpongeBob bag
Starting point is 00:06:03 with my merch that I acquired there and it says on it, it's a beautiful bikini bottom day and inside the bag we have I forget which city a guy gave these to me and so hopefully he'll reach out and I can give him credit later but
Starting point is 00:06:19 he gave me a series of posters that are movie based and this is the Django Unchained yeah it's pretty good, I like it now I'm going to throw it down on the stage he gave me a series of posters that are movie-based, and this is Django Unchained. Yeah, it's pretty good. I like it. Now I'm going to throw it down on the stage. Because I have to make way for all this other stuff. We got my CDs,
Starting point is 00:06:36 Smug Life. I had to look at it to see what the title is. I've got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. I think it's a big one, so if you're small, you know, use it as a nightie or some shit. And of course, a Peacemaker water pipe. We are calling it a water pipe while we are here in Missouri. And then, you know, I love to save the last thing that I brought.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I like to save the best thing for last, the most amazing thing. This is a copy of In New York magazine. I know when you're in St. Louis, you just dream of what's going on in New York. Now from cover to cover, you could be like, oh, okay. A lot of plays and musicals. Got it. But that's in the prize bag. Plus stuff, Bravo, my guests. I'm sure a lot of you guest detectives have figured out at least two out of the three guests today, but I think we're still in for a treat please give it up for Chris Gethard Trey Galleon and Jeff Tate I'm sorry. I'm already apologizing to the other guests.
Starting point is 00:08:22 You know, it was bad enough everybody did that in front of Saget and Ham. Like Jeff was the biggest star in the room. I mean, every room's got, it's like, it's a sliding scale based on the room. And in that room, yeah, I was the biggest star.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Yes. And the most handsome. Alright right we'll get to you in a second you're going shades on for the whole show these are the these are the glasses john gave me our friend john oh that you stole from the prize bag hey Hey, listen, I invoked an amendment to the prize bag rules. You can have anything that's in the prize bag because my guests are so nice to donate their time and come down. If they want to steal some very expensive, cool sunglasses that aren't going
Starting point is 00:09:17 to somebody who could really use them, then that is their right to do. But let's say hello to a first-time guest on the show. So excited to have him. Chris Gethard is here, everybody. Hi. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:09:40 How's it going, man? It's good. I'm pretty overwhelmed by all this. Right? It's a bit much. Yeah. I mean, man? It's good. I'm pretty overwhelmed by all this. Right? It's a bit much. Yeah. I mean, this is weird for me. And the stuff I do is pretty strange.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah, you have your own sort of cult that you have over there. Yeah. The Chris Gethard Show. You guys watch the show? It's amazing. It's on the Impractical Jokers Network. It is, yeah. It's after six episodes of Impractical Jokers and before eight episodes the Impractical Jokers network. It is, yeah. It's after six episodes of Impractical Jokers
Starting point is 00:10:06 and before eight episodes of Impractical Jokers. And then sometimes what happens is I get one hour a week on the network and when I check Twitter to see how people liked my show, they'll say things like, you ugly fuck, you're ruining TruTV. Put back on Impractical Jokers. That's a real Facebook message I got. You ugly fuck, you're ruining true TV. Put back on impractical jokers. That's a real Facebook message I got. You ugly fuck.
Starting point is 00:10:28 You're ruining true TV. They thought you were ugly compared to the impractical jokers? Those boys certainly have their charms. Yeah. Those guys all look like Halloween masks. All right, Jeff. Settle down. I like those guys.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I'm trying to get them on the show. I did their cruise last year. I want to do the next one. I did their first cruise. It was insane. Yeah. The cruises where it's comedy or music are, it's a really fun way to cruise. If you're trying to pick up gay men.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I think that's what everybody's laughing at. Didn't sound right. And Chris, I got a couple of questions for you. First of all, you're in Iron Man 3? I was cut from Iron Man 3. Oh, shit. Yeah. I feel so much better now because I've seen it a ton of times.
Starting point is 00:11:31 No one like you and was pretty sure you're not in it. Yeah, yeah. It's one of many very successful movies that I was cut from. This has become a major point in my career is that I'll be cut from big movies or put only in the director's cut of movies. That's another thing. Well, at least you're in a cut. Yeah yeah every once in a while i make the cut that's not the original cut but iron man three i was totally cut from it was heartbreaking yeah character was named juan my character was named juan no one ever explained that to me for anybody who's just listening you don't necessarily
Starting point is 00:12:04 look at me and think of a hispanic vibe out of the gate no they gave me a name tag that said juan and they said this is your character and i said okay and that was it and then i did a scene with don cheeto and i got to do all that stuff with your hands where you like it was all green screen stuff and i was it was the marvel thing of like let's show you the schematics for your new suit and then it was all cut and i was so sad because i grew up on marvel comics and i was so into that world but i recently did join the marvel universe officially um they put out a wolverine podcast called wolverine the long night and they inexplicably asked me to do a thing in it and then in all the press releases it kept saying and a guest appearance by Chris Gethard
Starting point is 00:12:46 and I don't understand why because I was playing an unnamed librarian. Four lines as an unnamed librarian. But that counts. The Wolverine podcast counts. That's the Marvel Universe. I'm in it. Were three of your lines... Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Were three of your four lines, shh? Yeah. Yeah. It was. And one of them legitimately was, oh, step over the cat. That's one of my lines on the Marvel Universe, yeah. And then they asked for a map to the small Alaska town that we're in. And I'm like, yeah, here's the map.
Starting point is 00:13:23 And that's my contribution to the're in. I'm like, yeah, here's the map. And that's my contribution to the Marvel universe. I love it. And, uh, but now I'm curious about what else did you get cut out of? I got cut from, uh, the, the, uh, most recent Ghostbusters, um, that a lot of misogynists had a problem with. And that one, this is true. Kristen Wiig legit punched me in the face by accident in a take she was supposed to pull her punch and there was this stunt man who went through everything with us and then the first take she was like boom and just you see that I saw the outtake footage she just goes oh god and my glasses fly off and then she catches them and I go down so I got yeah so I
Starting point is 00:14:03 booked apart in Ghostbusters as a person born in 1980, another dream come true, and then I was punched in the face and cut from the movie. I was cut from The Dictator, which was... Filming that was the worst night of my life.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Oh, my God. The Dictator and the other one I mentioned, Iron Man 3... Or not Iron Man 3, but The Dictator is definitely in your top four on IMDb. It is. And you're not even in it.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Yeah, no, I'm not. It is. I'm not in. Best known for. Yeah. Many of my largest credits I am not a part of in any way. And then Anchorman 2, I was cut out of. I've been cut out of a lot of big things that would have meant a lot to me.
Starting point is 00:14:43 But, you know, I'm really good at coming close. That's kind of become my whole thing in life. But you also... It all worked out. I host the lowest rated show on true television. And you've actually thrown yourself, cut yourself out of your own show. I did.
Starting point is 00:15:04 You did an episode where you invited Paul Scheer and Jason Manzoukas on. I thought you were kidding. That's actually true. Yeah. You brought those two guys on, Manzoukas and Scheer, and then just left them there for the whole hour to just do whatever. They had to improvise a whole show? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:17 I thought I was really going to get them. And then they probably had a blast just having their own hour. Yeah. And then they just made fun of me for an hour on live TV on a show that my mom was watching. It's okay. It's all right. Well, thank you for being here, man.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Hey, thanks for having me. I'm glad I get to hang out in a basement in St. Louis with you. Don't cheer too much. We've got to cut all this out before we release the episode. Oh, please cut me from this episode. Oh, that would be perfect. How funny would that be? If this is the last thing that they hear of me,
Starting point is 00:16:00 and then there's just weird edited out gaps. Please. I can just split if you want. If we want to really commit to the bit. I need to keep all my guests on stage when I play this club. That's the rule. Yeah, we've had people leave before. I think the first time I asked him to leave,
Starting point is 00:16:23 the second time he escorted himself out, and the third time I had to ask again. There's a lot of coming and going. But we worked all that out, and I'm excited that I worked this out, because I don't think we've played this club together yet. It's Trey Gallion, everybody! Hey, Trey Gallion, everybody. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Stand-up comedy phenom out of Brooklyn, previously Austin. And Trey, I'm obsessed with this since I got out on stage. You were doing a stand-up set at this club.
Starting point is 00:17:05 How crazy is that giant clock on the floor? I would never stop looking at it. People would be like, wait, why is he doing all this material to his feet? If you guys could see this fucking thing, it's like a shot clock on the other side of Madison Square Garden. One minute left in the period! Look at this shit.
Starting point is 00:17:23 That's as high as you can lift it? Yeah, it's all tied up. I don't want to break anything. shit that's as high as you can lift it yeah it's all tied up I don't want to break anything but that's big as shit I've been staring at it half the time yeah and you know what it does it makes time go by real slow yeah buddy
Starting point is 00:17:37 when's it going to change and then the dots between the 4 and the 48 are just blinking like hey look over here. Time might change. Do you think that's two second intervals? One Mississippi 2. It's like one and a half, I think.
Starting point is 00:17:54 One, two. All right. Sorry I brought it up. Yeah. Well, now they all know what we're staring at. You, of course, are a sometime champion on the show. You've won. I've occasionally fallen into that.
Starting point is 00:18:09 A couple of times you've won. Oh, last time in Austin. I totally sank that one. Yeah, you did. You took that. You took down a 12 guests episode. Yeah, that's just because I was better able to handle the pot brownies than everybody else. But I'll take it, man.
Starting point is 00:18:25 That's still a victory. So how are you feeling about today's matchup? Tate's here, so obviously he's going to win. And I'm a little shaky, man. I was up all night, had that flight, and then didn't really nap at the hotel.
Starting point is 00:18:46 I was dying for the last sentence to rhyme with flight and night. Sorry. That's where I'm at right now. I was up all night, had that flight. This shit's gonna be tight. But I might shit my pants.
Starting point is 00:19:06 That didn't rhyme. Speaking of pants full of shit. And terrible transitions. Jeff Tate is here! This is right, yeah. Take, yeah, I mean, it's fun. Jesus, they're chanting your name and you're just sitting there not speaking, just soaking it in.
Starting point is 00:19:42 You're just soaking in it. I was, I couldn't, the look on Chris's face. Also, you must just soaking in it. I couldn't. Also, you must just blend into the background in that shirt. Right? I mean, this is fun. I like it when it's a real busy backdrop for when you're doing stand-up. Oh, yeah, because you don't want people to listen to what you're saying you want them to just look at the skies right right skyline and go oh i was in that building once there are 14 faces of albert puhl somewhere in
Starting point is 00:20:15 this picture let's see if you can find all 14 right don't do it they're not there i also i love the bricks also like some people in the audience might be concerned that truly the whole wall just busted out. Because if you bust out this wall, you will see I know we're in a basement, but you will see the arch. Or the waitstaff smoking in the
Starting point is 00:20:39 loading dock. Probably more likely to just look past them. You'll see the waitstaff smoking, Just look past them. Like, you'll see the waitstaff smoking, but look past them and there's the arch. Listen, you guys, Jeff ran by me the idea of eating at the Weber Grill
Starting point is 00:20:55 restaurant. And I punched him in the stomach. I asked him head or gut first. And he chose gut Because of course he would He didn't feel a thing Right It's because of how strong I am
Starting point is 00:21:13 You have a muscular gut I wanted him to punch me in the gut So I could make a little more room For all that delicious Weber grill stuff Right It's been a long time since I've paid $40 for something my uncle makes. And when you go to Weber Grill, it's sans hilarious. What are those things called?
Starting point is 00:21:40 Aprons. Right? We should all have to wear hilarious aprons. Right? We should all have to wear hilarious aprons. What if they all just dress like everybody that works there is just like a backyard barbecue griller? They're just all barefoot, like, what do you have? Burger or dog? You want a burger or a dog?
Starting point is 00:21:57 Wieners are going fast. Yeah, they are. Shit. I don't know what that means someone just yell yeah they are yeah they are are you hitting on somebody right I think he thought that it would be like the same
Starting point is 00:22:19 as if you said coming but like he just did it wrong like oh man I'm gonna go later right i'm gonna go all over the place so how's your summer going jeff i mean it's going all right it's the last one we're all gonna have so you might as well enjoy it right like let's get out there and fucking get sun poisoning just trying to find where you parked. I think we might be approaching eternal summer. It might just not stop being hot anywhere ever again, which I wouldn't mind.
Starting point is 00:22:58 I'd be all right with that. That's the part of global warming I like. As long as air conditioning is on point. Like, everyone here today, you knew that this was going to be much cooler than anywhere else, right? Yeah, you're not going hiking. I have to go hiking. Hike those great St. Louis mountains. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Or through the couple trees in a bush. Can I ask you guys something about the arch? Is it still hot as fuck in there, or do they have some sort of ventilation now? It's dank. It's dank. I'm going to murder you. I think dank just means dark, or maybe even cold, not like hot and sweaty.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Dude, I thought it was Sean Jordan for a second. No, that's Buck. Yeah, yeah. He says it's Buck. All right, so I have a question that I spring on everybody. Trey and Jeff have done the show a bunch of times, so they know it's coming. Oh, yeah, this isn't sprung on you. Let's find out about the prize bag. What do you have for the prize bag,
Starting point is 00:24:08 Jeff? I have a copy of my most recent album, People Are What People Make Them. Whoever I play for will get it later. Well, I mean, whoever wins is going to get it later anyway. Like, it's not... This place is going to go nuts if Jeff doesn't win.
Starting point is 00:24:31 I hope that happens. Oh, man. I hope you know a lot about movies, Chris. This is all on you, buddy. You know what? Wait, you and I are equal partners in that. No. Why don't you just put it all on me?
Starting point is 00:24:44 No, my friend. Okay. All the questions today are going to be about Daniel Day-Lewis. Because Jeff, one time when I mentioned him, did not know who that was. I remembered. It's the guy who was like, are you going to finish your milkshake? Are you done with that milkshake? No, he's from the Indian movie.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Yeah, let me get some of your milkshake. Let me just try it. Right, I remember that movie. It was like, I want to have some of your... Did you finish all your poppers? We're just offering you food. Yeah, what's going on, sir? That is not a milkshake.
Starting point is 00:25:26 That's some sort of app. Just silently holding fried goods at you. Tastes like a milkshake. Tastes like a milkshake. That was not a good selling point. That sounded more like a warning. You should just take that home then and bring all the boys to your yard.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Yeah, yeah. Doug loves music. All right, Chris, what do you got for the old prize bag? I brought a pin. It has meaning to me. This is a pin with a picture of a rat on it and the word follow above it. This is because I once asked my father the greatest piece of advice
Starting point is 00:26:08 my father ever gave me he told me that if the apocalypse happens what you do is you follow the rats and I said what? and he explained to me that rats are survivors and if you follow the rats they'll be going somewhere
Starting point is 00:26:23 and if you go there too you'll be a survivor too so you follow the rats they'll be going somewhere and if you go there too you'll be a survivor too. So you follow the rats. And then I made pins out of that. So I'm going to give you one of those pins and that way you wear it and then when the shit goes down you remember, follow the rats. It's great because people will say to you like, what does that pin
Starting point is 00:26:42 mean? And then the person will go, I just, I can't even get into it yeah hey you know we're in a loud rock club right now can i just have a fucking rat pin on my lapel and just enjoy rancid all right i'll try to do it quick do you have true tv they'll say oh impractical jokers yes it's from that show Impractical Jokers. Yes. It's from that show, Impractical Jokers. I think, what if your dad unzipped his trench coat and he was just like a hundred rats and he was trying to figure out how to...
Starting point is 00:27:16 He's just trying to trick people into going to where the rats are so they could have something to eat during the apocalypse. His dad would be huge if it was a hundred rats. It would explain why he wears that trench coat. All the time.
Starting point is 00:27:41 I thought Mike Pence outlawed trench coats. Oh, shit. I didn't say that. So, I asked the question that I was going to ask Oh, shit. I didn't say that. So I asked the question that I was going to ask earlier, and then I remembered about the prize bag. Jeff, what was the last motion picture that you saw in any format? Tag. But in its entirety, preferably. You saw tag?
Starting point is 00:28:00 I saw tag. All right. You saw Tag? I saw Tag. All right, now, before you say a word about it, you know, of course, Jon Hamm and Hannibal Buress and maybe even Ed Helms are friends of the show. So be careful. No, no, I thought it was hilarious.
Starting point is 00:28:20 It was like the funniest fucking movie I've seen all year. You don't have to lie. No, no. I'm really in a no-win situation over here, but I fucking loved it. It made me laugh so hard. No, I wish I hadn't interrupted you, but I just thought there was a chance you'd be like, you know, I didn't care for it. And, you know, it just opened yesterday, so I want to give them a fighting chance. But you loved it.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Right. I did love it. Yeah, it's fucking great. It's really funny. That's going to be a great pull quote for their ads. Right. I did love it. Yeah. It's fucking great. That's going to be a great pull quote for their ads. Right. Yeah. I did love it. Yeah. Well, I'm a little off my rhythm. Are you thinking about
Starting point is 00:28:56 ham? You're thinking about ham? I'm not thinking about anything. What's going on right now? I was trying to send a movie. You got so shy. Now, Jeff, are you aware that Jeremy Renner, who plays Hawkeye in the film, was... Yeah, it's a Marvel crossover event. Finally, everyone's like, where is he during Infinity War?
Starting point is 00:29:21 Oh, he's playing tag. He's playing an international game of tag. So he, like, doing a stunt for the movie, because it's very physical, apparently. This crazy tag game. He broke both of his arms early on. And they had to do CGI
Starting point is 00:29:42 for the entire movie, covering up his arm casts. I was looking the whole time and I never noticed. And it looked good? Yeah. Holy shit. I never noticed when his arms were broken and I was watching for it. Every time he did anything I was like, do those look like real arms?
Starting point is 00:30:01 And they always did. I mean, CGI has come a long way since. Yeah, it's pretty impressive that they did that. You're looking at me, Chris, like you don't believe it. This sounds very fake. It's real. It is?
Starting point is 00:30:12 It really happened. So when they were acting on set, he was just walking around with Frankenstein arms and all the other actors. Well, they weren't like full arm casts. I think they were like from here to here. I think they were like he broke this part on both arms. Got it. Understood. Jeff's tapping his elbow. He broke this part on both arms. Got it. Understood.
Starting point is 00:30:25 He broke one elbow and one arm. There you go. I guess at the same time. I hope that moment is in the film. I hope they don't pull a fucking like some Nazi Ghostbusters and cut that shit out. Also, Ghostbusters, all that flack they got
Starting point is 00:30:41 would have gone away if Kristen Wiig punched you in the face in the movie. That would have been a truly feminist Ghostbusters, all that flack they got would have gone away if Kristen Wiig punched you in the face in the movie. That would have been a truly feminist Ghostbusters moment. Me getting punched in the fucking grill. The Weber grill. When I picture the patriarchy, you're the face I picture. The oppressive face of the patriarchy. You're the face I picture.
Starting point is 00:31:07 The oppressive face of the patriarchy. I was being ironic. No, I know. Okay, good. The laughter kind of hurts on that one. Not that I don't appreciate it. I'm not clamoring to be part of the patriarchy. But the joke was basically that I have such a visual lack of masculinity.
Starting point is 00:31:27 And the crowd cheered and applauded. You did look genuinely hurt. Yeah. Because I know what the joke was. That wasn't how I made the joke. That's enough, librarian. Fair. That's fair. That's fair. Don't step
Starting point is 00:31:44 on the cat. That's fair That's fair Don't step on the cat I heard they just removed me And dubbed your voice doing it In over it Chris do you Have you seen a movie recently?
Starting point is 00:31:59 I've seen a bunch of movies recently What's the last one you saw? If you die on this stage today What was's the last one you saw? Like, if you die on this stage today, what was the last movie that you saw? Wait, why do I have to die on this stage? Maybe you're a lifetime. I'm just saying, if you happen to pass away before seeing another movie...
Starting point is 00:32:14 Wait, you just asked him and didn't include a threat of death. Well, I'm probably gonna win. I just think it's... Wait, are the losers of this killed? I did... That was not explained to me when I was booked to do this
Starting point is 00:32:26 it's you know we're doing this in a basement for a reason okay I believe the last movie guys I'm trying
Starting point is 00:32:32 to get the order right because I have movie pass now so I see a lot of movies and I think I think it was
Starting point is 00:32:37 Deadpool 2 was the most recent one okay and that how'd that that work out okay for you
Starting point is 00:32:41 I really liked it yeah a lot of fun I had the same experience with both Deadpool movies, which was like the first 20, 25 minutes, I was like, just stop. And then like 25 minutes in, I was like,
Starting point is 00:32:51 wait, this is fucking charming. Yeah, it comes at you fast. Comes at you hard and fast. You gotta buy in. Yeah. Once I bought in, I was really happy to go along for the ride. It was cool to see people along for the ride. It was
Starting point is 00:33:06 cool to see people really in the X-Men, you know? Really in the X-Men universe. Not just librarians and shit. Are you like a super librarian? Nah. I don't think I'm particularly good for a librarian. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:33:32 His superpower is that he can just think shh and people hear it in their ears. Right? Like there's gotta be some pretty fucking useless X-Men powers float around out there. I could just tell people to be quiet from anywhere in the room. It worked. What's your character name?
Starting point is 00:33:58 Silencer or... The Shushinator? No, it's librarian there was that show on TNT for a while with Noah Wiley the librarians and it was supposed to be like an adventure show exciting they like run around through history or some shit
Starting point is 00:34:20 I watched a couple of them you did? yeah you got some time over there in Cincinnati, don't you? Yeah. A lot of my afternoons are free. Have you seen any of Get Shorty yet, the series? No, I haven't found it yet.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I recommend it to Jeff because he likes Elmore Leonard stuff and I think it's really good with Chris O'Dowd and Ray Romano. Yeah, it's very entertaining. It O'Dowd and Ray Romano. It's very entertaining. It's not a movie. Sorry. Yeah, I didn't know that was happening. Sorry to digress.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Trey? I mean, it's your show. Yeah. Wait, what? This is my show? It says it right in the title. I really have not been playing this right. No, not at all. I was going to tell you earlier, but... I was like, ah, we'll wing it. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. One Mississippi. What was the last movie you saw, Trey?
Starting point is 00:35:12 Action Point. Are they friends with the show at all? For reals? I do. A couple of them have been on. Yeah? Yes, Devo and Wee Man have been on. And in both cases, I told them to their faces that I just don't like watching them do things where they could potentially die. Well, neither one of them are in it.
Starting point is 00:35:30 So I can say that movie was not good. Really? Are you saying that Rotten Tomatoes was wrong giving it 18% or whatever the fuck it got? Yes, it got 2%. Oh! It's that bad. Well, I went because it's based on Action Park. Which I went to many times in my youth.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Yeah, growing up outside of Philly, like that was the hot spot in the 80s. And then they started getting sued because people got hurt there. The loop slide, water slide was a horrible idea. And the alpine slide was a fucking nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got real fucked up at Action Park. Yeah, man yeah man well that's why they called it traction park but it was yeah traction park you just went and it was a loop water slide that was a full tube you know and you just looked at nobody wrote it because everybody looked at it was like no that's a
Starting point is 00:36:19 horrible idea yeah it's the rumor the rumor in jersey was because you would you'd lock in it was right at the entrance and it went like that. And the rumor was that they sent a dummy through when they built it, and the thing came out with no fucking head. And they were like, we should have studied physics before we built this. I guess you can't just have anyone dream up anything
Starting point is 00:36:40 and then build it and then do it. Dude, the underground one, though, kick ass. The cave one? Yeah, where you hopped in the tube that just stuck in the ground and then it's shooting you back and forth, but it's all dark so you don't know which way and you're getting tossed. Where do you come out? In a coffin?
Starting point is 00:36:57 Oh, even better. Almost. Even better. You have no idea. Where you come out, if we're thinking the same slide, they don't... On the ski slopes, you're at the top of a mountain. And you can't see the end from the beginning. You go down. All of a sudden, you go into a tunnel that you didn't know was coming. And when it shoots you out, you are roughly 15 feet in the sky.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Oh, 20. Yeah. I'm being conservative. Dude, every single thing. Dude, no joke. You come out of this fucking thing. And you shoot out of the side of a mountain and then you wait at the bottom
Starting point is 00:37:27 because you watch all the other kids come out like what the fuck and that's like a fun water slide they just shut that one down like a year and a half ago they reopened action park I went on my bachelor party and they shut that slide down
Starting point is 00:37:43 finally because everyone was getting the same exact shoulder injury the same exact one dude that's why you did leave sore but you had a good time it only took them they shut it down in 2015 it opened in like 1979 yeah everyone got their shoulders fucked up for decades and then they were like nah let's move on uh so much fun so are all of the like wackier stuntier moments uh that occur in the movie because it's like real stunts mixed into a a comedy or it's supposed to have a story right right and uh they're trying to save this shitty park right it's the same story but like but like how often do those stunts occur like it's not enough to keep it entertaining? No.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Because they're all in the trailer, maybe? Yeah, exactly. Because the trailer makes it look action-packed. No, right, because those are all the stunts. Just do another Jackass, guys. I mean, that would have been better. Yeah, the stories suck. Pontius is hilarious in the Jackass movies, but he's not an actor.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Okay. He's horrible. All right. Yeah. Oh, whatever, man. Go watch it. Did somebody here like it? That's what I thought.
Starting point is 00:38:55 People from Missouri liked it. You know what movie actually utilizes Johnny Knoxville's ability to do stunts, that kind of shit, is that movie he was in with Jackie Chan, Skip Trace. Because Jackie Chan is always using whatever shit's in the room to smack people around with. And in this movie, he just uses Johnny Knoxville. It's the whole movie of him hitting other people with Johnny Knoxville.
Starting point is 00:39:22 It's fucking great. All right. So that's on our required watching list, apparently. Yeah, I didn't even know that existed. Johnny Knoxville and Jackie Chan. What a team. Right?
Starting point is 00:39:39 One Mississippi, two Mississippi, two. I can't stop looking at that clock. Two. One, two. One, two. One, two. I can't stop looking at that clock. Two. One, two. One, two. One, two. No, I don't know if you flip it over.
Starting point is 00:39:51 I didn't say I minded it, that I couldn't stop looking at it. I just, it's weird. I think something bad might happen if we flip it over. No, I'm not going to do it. You picked it up and everything. Yeah, but I didn't lay it face down. I think that's some kind of bad. You guys, we're and everything. Yeah, but I didn't lay it face down. I think that's some kind of bet on... You guys, we're recording this.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Yeah. Sorry. People listen to this, and also people are watching it live right now. I don't know what people are doing with their lives that comes down to this. I just saw a woman look at her watch while we were discussing a clock. Yeah, she wants to play along. I bet you everybody listening at home
Starting point is 00:40:32 is looking at a timepiece. What if it's 516 when you hear this in your earbuds? What the fuck? I just made someone's day. All right. All of my questions have been answered sufficiently, so I will say
Starting point is 00:40:49 let the games begin! Turn it off, Bert. Gentlemen, pick your name tags. Oh, can I get another Tito's and soda? Yeah, I'd like another one too, please. Thank you. And we'll be right back. Hey, everybody.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Just wanted to take a moment to tell you about some tour dates that I've got coming up and to apologize to the lady in the audience who I just told Gaudi was a TV movie when, in fact, nobody has to contact the corrections department. It is an actual movie and it's at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes after 23 critics have weighed
Starting point is 00:41:36 in. So that's pretty awesome. And speaking of awesome things, I'm going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan on Dab's Day, July 10th, doing stand-up, bringing your name tags, and also bringing your name tags to Doug Loves Movies. If you're in Salt Lake City, I'll be at Wise Guys at the Gateway on Saturday, July 14th. And you know where all my other tour dates are, so let's go ahead and go back to the show.
Starting point is 00:42:06 All right, we're back great job everybody there were a lot of great name tags it wasn't easy but uh trey's really staying on theme here yeah yeah look at this it's a rat it's no it's a hundred rats sans trench coat it reminded me of you where'd you get that picture of my father the motion picture ben and i uh it says where willard ended ben begins and this time he's not alone and of course ben's song is sung by Michael Jackson. And yeah, classic. Ben, the two of us were blah, blah, blah. Where's Ben at? It's almost creepy, that song.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Is your name Ben? Yeah. Okay, cool. Good name. We're also not mentioning that you came back also with half a dozen donuts. No, yeah, that's what took so long I got sidetracked. I picked the name tag, but then some lady stuck donuts in my face. It's five. Oh, this isn't even with Ben?
Starting point is 00:43:10 Like what I'm going to do. This isn't Ben's? No, this is a side piece, man. Oh, shit. Look at this motherfucker. I know, right? You're not throwing that. This thing is like a...
Starting point is 00:43:21 Holy shit, that looks good. What do you call that? What are these things called? Cinnamon. It's like a cinnamon roll, but with sprinkles, white looks good. What are these things called? It's like a cinnamon roll, but with sprinkles, white frosting and sprinkles. I believe that's called Funfetti. Yeah, that one's called Cinnabun.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Oh my god, this one's got Cinnamon Toast Crunch on it. That's a fucking genius idea for a donut. Who likes Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Is that bacon? Yeah. And then the standard. Who likes cinnamon toast crunch? Is that bacon? Yeah. All right. Bacon on that one.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Good luck, everybody. Wow. Great catch. Great catch, sir. Chris, would you like to throw one? Would I like to throw one? Hey, Ben, get over here. You didn't write a shithead on the back of this.
Starting point is 00:43:59 And Trey is not going to win. That's chocolate with a chocolate glaze. And I throw it? Bring me all of the drinks. Pass up all of the drinks. I like to take a bite and then throw it. There you go. There you go.
Starting point is 00:44:19 Ooh, thank you. I see a hand. I see a tall person's hand. Ben, where you at? Come up here, Ben. Do you have a shithead you want to ride on this thing? Oh, shit. My bad.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Tate, you want to wing one? Does this have bacon on it? Bacon bits? Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. This one looks so good. This is Nick Nolte when he sees this maple...
Starting point is 00:44:48 Bacon. Oh, wait. Yeah, take another bite. This is Nick Nolte reacting to Trey Galleon eating this donut. Jesus Christ. You want a bite? No, I'm okay.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Thank you so much. Oh, you got something to write with, Ben? Yeah, just write down whoever you want me to call a shithead at the end when Trey loses. All right, so what'd you come up with there, Mr. Gethard? I can't believe I'm seeing this all these years later, let alone in Missouri. Someone brought as their name tag the playbill to my one-man show I did off-Broadway a couple years ago. Look at that. That's awesome. Thank you for that, Nate.
Starting point is 00:45:27 I can't believe you didn't throw this out on the corner outside of the theater. That's so nice of you that you kept it all this time. And it has a picture of my head and a noose to add to my recurring theme of sadness on this episode. And then he just put a Post-it note on there. Yeah, he kept it classy. Hello, my name is Nate. And then another post-it on the back, I think because he wants to remove the post-its
Starting point is 00:45:50 and keep this afterwards. No, the one on the back is so they don't reveal who is it. It's got his shithead on there. Right, but he didn't just scribble on it. Right. Because it's a valuable thing that has an impact on his life is what I have to believe, or else why do I do this? Nate, thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Nate, do you want the playbill back? Where's Nate at? Oh, that's you? Do you want it back? Yeah, Nate wants it back at the end of the show. Yeah. What? He didn't want to ruin this amazing poster by just writing a couple words on the back?
Starting point is 00:46:19 He had to take out another piece of paper? Did you want me to sign it, Nate? Thank you for watching Impractical Jokers. All right, Jeff, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Anthony. He's got a Southern Anthony. It's a Southern Accents album. It's a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers record.
Starting point is 00:46:50 On record, right? Remember last time I was here, he had it. He was up front. I picked a different person's thing, and it turned out to be the same guy. I picked his name tag the last time we were here. It's a whole thing. I'm supposed to remember all of that?
Starting point is 00:47:04 Yes. I think I do, yeah, now that you mention it. So I picked him this time, Southern Anthony. Nice. What's his name? Anthony. Anthony. All right. Well, I hope you enjoy all the prizes, Anthony. I hope you're ready to have a two-water pipe household.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Some people aren't ready for that. But, yeah, you can just throw your uh throw your stuff down on the ground there and did we get rid of all those donuts already no they're right there there's two right there okay i want to eat one of them but after oh which one the big funfetti one right yeah or the other one i mean neither one of them looks like i could eat it right now and not and not be a real problem. Like a real messy problem. I'm just excited about the word funfetti.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Oh, you're not familiar? Uh-uh. It's a new craze. Did you guys see the dragon's breath thing in the mall? What? You guys would fucking love this. There is a stoner food stand in this mall. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? There's a thing. It's like they do
Starting point is 00:48:05 a frozen treat, but they do it with something where... Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen, and then you can blow smoke, and they call it dragon's breath. Does it taste good? What is it? It's like...
Starting point is 00:48:18 It's really weird. It's super gimmicky. Super gimmicky. Those things always last. I'm a fan of anything that makes me feel like I'm in a bar. It's the new Dippin' Dots. All right, you guys. Astronaut ice cream in space.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Now we know who you're playing for. Now is the time to play some games. But before I get to this first game, something interesting happened today on Twitter. Interesting to me anyway. We do a bit on the show where like Mark Wahlberg or even Jeff or Dale Cheeseman, somebody will come out and say a line from a movie.
Starting point is 00:48:58 We call it doing lines. And then the panelists guess what movie it is. Some guy that's in the audience today wrote to me and said, hey, I'll do some lines. I'll get up there and say some lines from a movie. And I was like, why the fuck not? Trey doesn't like the idea,
Starting point is 00:49:18 but I think it's a fun idea. Because also, I haven't talked to this guy. I could play along. Where's nos from Twitter? Anyone could raise their hand right now. No, it's N-O, no, not No Problems. N-O-B-L-P-R-Z, whatever that means. That's you?
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah. Yeah? Come on up here. This is going to go great. Oh, my God. this is really happening. Watch your step there. Oh shit. Watch your step there.
Starting point is 00:49:48 All the prizes. No, it's a tricky step. Wow, you guys, he stepped on the prizes, so today is canceled. And I'll be honest, they're a little worse from where? I'll be honest, they're a little worse from where? Okay, that's not from the movie. Now what's your name, dude? Ron.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Okay, hey, Ron. Hey, Ron. Do you realize you have a lot of nerve? I do. Okay, good. Just wanted to make sure he knew. be new. So you're going to,
Starting point is 00:50:31 much like Mark Wahlberg and all the others, you're going to say a line from a movie and since I don't know what you're going to do, I'm going to guess. I'm going to play along. And we just have to guess what movie it's from. I'm sorry. Who the fuck are those other people? What? Don't worry about those other people. You know the game Doing Lines? I do.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Yeah, okay. Mark Wahlberg? I'm familiar. Yeah, that's what I said. Oh, this is going to go awesome. That's what I said just now when you said, who are those people? I said Mark Wahlberg. This feels so fucking tense. Yeah. I mean, Ron almost crushed several
Starting point is 00:51:03 things on his way to the stage, so... Yeah, I don't blame you, man. I'd crush it, too, if I was... I don't know how to... I don't know how to finish that sentence. If I were stumbling the stage from the dark while potentially drunk and wearing a Star Wars shirt.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Your comments. All right, so what you're going to do is you're going to I'm going to give you the microphone. Please don't say something political. This is not the platform. No hashtags, just a line from a movie and then we're going to guess
Starting point is 00:51:41 what it's from. Is that how it's going to go? Do we just shout it out when we know it? Yeah, just shout it out when you know it. Ready? Yep. Okay, here we go. Look good, feel good. You are hanging
Starting point is 00:51:59 by a very thin thread. Thin thread. I suck. You are hanging by a very thin thread. Thin thread. I suck. You are hanging by a very thin thread. And I dig that about you. Uh, oh, wait, no. I think people in the audience know, but I don't know. Do you know, Trey?
Starting point is 00:52:20 Yeah, but I'm trying to think of it in my brain like they really said it. Hang on. Right? Is it Star Wars? Wow, the dialogue's gotten really a little too colloquial. I mean, once those guys let him improv, it just all fucking got weird. Okay, do you have another line from the same thing? Of course he does.
Starting point is 00:52:49 This will be the obvious kid boy. Oh, shit. You know what you gotta do? You gotta show me the money. Oh, Jerry Maguire. Dog! It is fucking Jerry Maguire. I won.
Starting point is 00:53:01 It's Jerry Maguire. Sit the fuck down. Thanks for coming. Yeah, that's backstage. You want to just wait for us in the green room? We got a lot of shit back there you can crush. Oh my god, a glass just hit the ground.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Dude, don't ever go to a china shop. I loved that. Yeah, that was awesome. Thank you, Rob. That was super fun. It accomplished one thing. Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I dig that about him. I don't think that went how he thought it was going to go. Not at all, he says. Should we have known that from the first line? Did a lot of people know it? Okay. I thought his name was Tidwell, not Threadwell. All right, so that was just a little pregame for fun.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Now we're going to get serious because, you know, I can't win the games. Although I would like you to give me that pin. I'm just kidding. You can have it. You're going to wear it. You're really going to wear that rat pin. Yeah, I'm going to put it on my jacket. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:20 That one jacket. It's got a lot of stuff on it. I'll never get tired of seeing it. Yeah. Let's play Purple Rain Man, man. This is a mashup movie title game. Guess as often as you like. First person on stage,
Starting point is 00:54:45 only on stage people get a guess. First one to guess the full title of this mashup movie title is the winner. I'll start with the third build stars and work my way up. And the third build stars in order
Starting point is 00:55:01 in the title that would appear in this mashup movie are Sarah Vowell and Cole Hauser. Somebody in the audience, hello. And I thought this club had a strict
Starting point is 00:55:20 no owls policy. It's not even nighttime. Just turn your head around, owl, and watch something else. They're a symbol for the Illuminati, man. I don't trust it. Congratulations
Starting point is 00:55:39 on graduating. Don't owls wear those hats? So that's the one you fucking check out on? Oh, the cheers of Tate, Tate, Tate have faded Do they still always have pictures of owls graduating? Is that still a thing? It's been a lot of times since I graduated
Starting point is 00:55:59 Forbidden things These people are more into the owls of Owls of All right Owls of Gulu Alright, second build in this movie Can't believe Jeff didn't even have a guess I'm struggling with who Sarah Vowell is
Starting point is 00:56:16 I'm struggling with what movie she's in She's got plenty of consonants in her name though So we got Sarah Vowell and Cole Hauser She's got plenty of consonants in her name, though. So we got Sarah Val and Cole Hauser. I think I know who Cole Hauser is. And then second build would be Holly Hunter and Tyrese Gibson. Yeah. Second build.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Tyrese is racist, man. Okay. Tyrese's second build? Yeah, it happened. Wow. I think it was top build in Baby Boy. Baby Boy. That movie came out today.
Starting point is 00:57:00 That's what I'd asked for when I bought a ticket, because it's a great movie. Baby Boy. Baby Boy. First billing goes to Craig T. Nelson and Paul Walker. That should give this shit away. Oh, it's The Incredibles, Too Fast, Too Furious. That's right.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Wow. Right? No, he's really good. That's right. Right? No, he's really good. That was impressive. Yeah. That was impressive. I couldn't get Coach out of my head. It was like Dob or something.
Starting point is 00:57:36 I don't know. Whatever. Coach Furious. That's close. Yeah. No, that was great, you guys. I always forget about the animated... Never mind.
Starting point is 00:57:51 What? Yeah. Oh, you disregard animated films? Well, not on purpose. It's just that's how my brain's working right now. Yeah, Incredibles 2 is probably making a ton of money right now. As we speak, It just opened yesterday. I'm going to go see it eventually.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I liked it. No, of course you were going to see it. I was like, that baby is on fire. Are you going to get some baby merch? Now, okay, I got a text the other day from Trey. I look at the text and it goes sent with lasers. Then I click on it and it's just some typical text.
Starting point is 00:58:33 There wasn't anything interesting about the text, but then my whole phone has the whole laser show on it. Yeah, yeah. That's my hot shit right now. Some people do not like it. I didn't hate it. I looked at it a few times. But now I want people do not like it. I didn't hate it. I looked at it a few times, but now I want to vote Trump in 2020.
Starting point is 00:58:52 That is not what I... But what... Why are you doing that to people? Because that was another one. Like, my buddy's 12-year-old kid showed it to me, and I was like, well, everybody's getting annoyed with this for a while. It's like the snail thing.
Starting point is 00:59:09 What's that? The pound. Oh yeah. I'm not going to do it. Right. See, do it to Chris. No.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Some people really snail. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably like the third worst violation of another human being. Oh, shit. I'm not a fan of that at all. Sorry, Chris. I forgot how terrible it is.
Starting point is 00:59:43 It's okay. I knew it wasn't good, but... I just hope the audience at home enjoyed hearing that funny face. Oh, it was a good one. They love it. I asked the last crowd, like, do you like listening to the donut throwing?
Starting point is 01:00:01 And they were all like, yeah! But at the time, I was about to throw a donut, so I think they just wanted that donut. He's like a pat-loft. All right, so great work everybody. I don't think it was a good donut tonight. You didn't eat it.
Starting point is 01:00:18 She's saving it for later. Oh, damn. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for humoring me on that. I feel like that was weirdly, I weirdly forced you to, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Her too. Well, there is, we should warn her, there's a two donut minimum in the showroom. So you're going to have to work your way through a couple of those chunks of madness.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Well, we should give this donut place a plug. Strange Donuts. Yeah. Yeah? It's pretty good. It's owned and operated by Dr. Stephen Strange. And if you go in there, he'll let you walk through his lasso.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Why do my donuts keep disappearing? Why? walk through his lasso. Why do my donuts keep disappearing? I want to take a moment if people don't have an issue with this, to talk about here in St. Louis, a place called City Museum. Some of us just found out about this place today. Holy shit, you guys went nuts.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah, everybody loves it. They're always telling me to go to it. I never go, and so I just want to fucking settle this once and for all. Why is it so amazing? Let's go out into the crowd. Oh, wow. Why is it so great, dude? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Yeah, you've never been, right? I saw you weren't clapping and I was like, I'm gonna fuck with that guy. What? Shut it! I'm the worst cult leader ever. Bring your signs to me and I will scream at you. Okay, dude, why is this so great?
Starting point is 01:02:11 It's like a giant playground, but in a whole skyscraper. So you can run over everything. I mean, it's geared towards little kids, but it's cool for one trip. You can drink beer and climb up. Okay, so you go there for the little kids? Is that what you just said? It's a giant playground. I don't want to oversell what it is, but it's all made of recycled
Starting point is 01:02:32 stuff. You crawl through jungles and there's caves inside a building. It's like a play lane. It's like a play lane. I live there, so I can't not go there. Oh, you work there. So you get us in for free. Tell us about how...
Starting point is 01:02:49 It costs $14, you cheapskate. Can I use my movie pass? So the dude you're with still hasn't been to the museum you work at? He's been. He just didn't want to answer the question because his girlfriend works there. He's like, it's a jimboree for idiots. Okay, so you do the company line description
Starting point is 01:03:17 of how awesome it is. I mean, it's full of, there's a rooftop that has a Ferris wheel on it. How can you get cooler than that? How about a roller coaster? Yeah, I can think of a couple of things better than the Ferris wheel. There's a school bus on the roof, too.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Oh, okay, so this guy's into it. Blowjob in the school bus? Alright, this concludes Doug Learns About City Museum. It's the most fun museum since the Guggenheim. Because Steve Martin roller skated in the Guggenheim. I think. Pretty sure. There's a skate park there.
Starting point is 01:04:09 There's a what? Who? Where? There's a skate park. Oh, my God. The more you talk about it, the less of a museum it sounds like. Apparently sounds like it's in a city. But City Museum, you guys, check it out.
Starting point is 01:04:26 It opens at 11 a.m. tomorrow, so I might go before heading out of town. Do it! Do it! I think we ought to. Does anybody get injured there? Yeah! Yeah, we're going. God.
Starting point is 01:04:37 We're totally going. No, that makes me not want to go. No, we're going. It's like your action park. Yeah, we're going. I don't want to get injured. No, we're going to get super high and go. It won't hurt. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Dirt don't hurt. What kind of security is outside the building? Do you have to go through a metal detector? Oh, so I can bring a gun? Everybody's saying there's zero security. Okay, applaud if you've smoked weed at this place before. It must have been vape pens, right? No?
Starting point is 01:05:12 You fucking blaze in a children's playland? You gotta smoke weed on the fairs. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love every one of you. All right. love you. I love you. I love every one of you. Alright. The after party,
Starting point is 01:05:28 let's just all go to Weber Grill and all just light up. Game on. Can't throw us all out. Hi, party of 70. Alright. Hi, party of 70. All right. We got to play one more game.
Starting point is 01:05:50 We're on a tight time schedule because Chris Gethard has two shows here tonight. Is anybody coming back to see him? You got to come back. Nice. Yeah, it's just, you know, when someone comes to visit you on the surface of the sun, the least you can do is to enjoy the air conditioning and give him a hearty pat on the back. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Jeff's going to start us off, then we're going to go to Chris, then Trey, then me, because I like to play along.
Starting point is 01:06:26 I don't think that's fair. He did win the first game. Oh, okay, then that's fair. Yeah, and he also won that pregame. Yep, yep, that seems more fair. And he's winning in general. Look at your outfits. Wow. So, Chris, this is a game where I'm going to get a name of an actor or actress from the audience.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Hopefully not anyone that's punched you in a film. Because that might be too painful. And then we take turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But you do have one lifeline. You can go to your buddy, Nate, who brought the playbill. Got it. You can go to him once.
Starting point is 01:07:04 But I'd only use him if it was a children's film. I have a feeling that that's his focus. He did give that a thumbs up. I have so many thoughts right now, but we gotta do this. So... I preselected somebody in the audience from
Starting point is 01:07:34 Twitter to help us out, and her, I assume it's a her, Twitter handle is HotYoungWife. Yeah, I wish the lighting was better over there so I could... Doug, why'd you decide to go with her? You know, because
Starting point is 01:07:51 I like hot ladies. I like young ladies, but when they're married, oh shit. Let me at it. Is that your husband with you? Yes. Your rich, old husband? Yeah. Oh, God. Trey. He's not in, yeah. That rich old husband? Yeah. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Trey. He's not in, yeah. That's rude. He's not in, yeah. That's just rude. And if you want to follow her on Twitter, it's hot with two Ts. That's rude. And what's your actual name, ma'am, if you don't mind saying?
Starting point is 01:08:29 I'm sorry, what? I never even know my ma'am. What's your actual name, if you don't mind saying? Nikki. Hi, Nikki. Hi. And what's your suggestion today for Last Man Stanton? Michael J. Fox.
Starting point is 01:08:44 Michael Jackson Fox. Great story, Michael J. Fox, when he joined the Actors Guild, his actual middle name is Andrew, and he wanted to be Michael A. Fox, but he thought that sounded, you know, silly. There was already a Michael Fox, so he had to use his middle initial and so he changed it to j for joint i don't believe any of that which he now no he now smokes weed regularly for his condition oh i believe that yeah um okay so we got michael j fox let's look at the panel are you guys confident with that or would you like an additional name? Would you like more to work with? I got two Michael J. Fox movies.
Starting point is 01:09:31 That's interesting. That's it. One would think you'd have at least three. Holy shit, now I have like five. Alright, so we're going to get a second name. Just to make, we got to make this a competition. So let's go to another person in the audience.
Starting point is 01:10:03 But thank you, Nikki. We're definitely using that. Where is JP Wildcard? What's up, JP? Why Wildcard? Because I cut the brakes. Because you cut the brakes? Yeah!
Starting point is 01:10:17 Yeah, that's from Always Sunny. Damn. This crowd likes references. And what does the JP stand for? John Pauly. John Pauly? Yep.
Starting point is 01:10:36 Okay. And your last name's Wildcard. Okay. It's pronounced Wildcard. Like the Weaver. What's your suggestion for today? Please do not say Leah Thompson.
Starting point is 01:10:59 James Earl Jones. The voice of CNN, which is not a movie. Well, that makes it really interesting. All right, so we'll start with Jeff. The films of either Michael J. Fox or James Earl Jones, you have two seconds. Time is up. Back to the future.
Starting point is 01:11:20 What did you say? Back to the future. Back to the future. Back to the future, okay. Back to the future Back to the future Back to the future 2 Okay now we're gonna need The full title Oh you gotta say part 2? Yeah
Starting point is 01:11:33 Just be glad there wasn't a silly subtitle Oh yeah I just learned my lesson Back to the future 2 Oops Still going back Back to the future part Oops Still going back Back to the Future Part 2 What'd you do? Back to the Future Part 2
Starting point is 01:11:52 Fast 2 Furious Okay, Trey, what do you want to go with? Back to the Future Part 3 Oh, you dick In 3D? Was that? No. I'm going to just go obscure out of the gate. I'm going to say
Starting point is 01:12:11 very early on, Michael J. Fox, a pudgy Michael J. Fox was one of the cast members in a movie called Midnight Madness. Oh, yeah. That's Meat Machine, right? What? That's the Machine right? What? Isn't that the scavenger hunt movie?
Starting point is 01:12:27 M-E-A-T-M-A-C-H-I-N-E Isn't that from it? Yeah I thought so That guy Rob knows what I'm talking about Why don't you just knock some shit over J.F.? The Frighteners. Oh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 01:13:00 I'm going to go with Teen Wolf. Yes, of course. Asking one of life's great questions, what are you looking at, dick nose? Why doesn't dick nose use more often? That's a solid... I love a fucking dick nose. That movie, I saw Teen Wolf a few years ago
Starting point is 01:13:22 and it holds up pretty good. I can't vouch for Teen Wolf 2 TOO also Trey it's your turn did you think I was just gonna ask you where you want to go get dinner yeah I kind of knew the answer to that but the The Secret of My Success? Yes! The Secret of My Success! The Secret of My Success! The Secret of My Success! Boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Like, that's what bothered me about that movie is Ferris Bueller comes out, they use the boom, boom, boom kind of song, and it's like, wow, okay, that's the Ferris Bueller music, and then they used it in The Secret of My Success, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Maybe that's the Ferris Bueller music. And then they used it in Secret of My Success. And I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Maybe that's why no one else says dick nose.
Starting point is 01:14:10 Because they'll be like, that's from fucking Teen Wolf. Good point, Jeff. Turn his mic off for a couple minutes. No points. I'm going to go with another Michael J. Fox movie that may not get a mention if I don't bring it up, and it's called Life with Mikey. Mikey. That's my name tag.
Starting point is 01:14:40 Damn it. That's your name tag? Yes. Nikki's name tag is Life with Nikki? Life with Nikki. Holy shit. Damn it. That's your name tag? Yeah. Nicky's name tag is Life with Nicky? Life with Nicky. Holy shit. That was...
Starting point is 01:14:54 God damn, she's a hot young wife. You can't yell my wife when I say young wife. Yeah. One minute left in the period. No, we're good. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. Doc Hollywood. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:15:20 I like that movie. That's good stuff. That's what I was going to say. Woody Harrelson, Julie Warner. I like it. Wait, do we... You can go to a lifeline. Or you could do James Earl Jones.
Starting point is 01:15:34 I can switch to James Earl Jones. But you've got to have the full title. Whenever the fuck you want. Well, that becomes very easy then, right? Okay. We can just start off with Star Wars A New Hope. Do I have to say A New Hope? Which episode? Star Wars Episode 4 Wars A New Hope. Do I have to say A New Hope? Which episode?
Starting point is 01:15:46 Star Wars Episode 4, A New Hope. Yes. I hate that they make you do that. But did you know they're going to scrub the numbers from Star Wars movies? No. Yeah, they're going to remove them so that people just get more, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:01 just vaguely, you know, there's no reason to be specific. They can't do that. Just enter our universe and give us all your money. Is what Star Wars is going to say from now on. Although maybe they'll change their mind now that Solo is the first one to not have a number in it. Oh, yeah, Rogue One has a number in it. And Star Wars is the first one to not have a number in it.
Starting point is 01:16:24 When is Rogue Two coming out, by the way? By the by. Okay. So I'm going to go with a classic James Earl Jones. Wait, he didn't win? What? First of all, Trey's going to lose. Secondly, that's a fair cop.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Wait, Chris, what did you want to say? I was going to point out that Trey hadn't gone yet. Okay, Trey, what do you want to say? Thanks, Chris. I want to make sure you're included. Okay, Trey's time is up. Jeff? What?
Starting point is 01:16:54 What do you got, Trey? Empire Strikes Back. Oh, yeah? Do you have anything more to say about that? No, man, I don't, because I grew up in the fucking 70s, so it's called Empire Strikes Back. Oh, I like that argument. You're out. Damn it!
Starting point is 01:17:08 Ben? No. You really can't, based on that A New Hope is number four, you can't figure... Star Wars Episode V. Okay. Alright, you said enough. Oh, it's so hurt. Oh, seriously. No.
Starting point is 01:17:25 I just cramped up. I'm going to go classic James Earl Jones. Bingo Long and the Traveling All-Stars. Oh, you're such a dick. That was my pocket one. I was, because you're a baseball guy, and I fuck you. All right. Just to make it hard on Trey,
Starting point is 01:17:46 then I'm going to say Field of Dreams. Let's take the other baseball one away from him. I love in Field of Dreams with James Earl Jones is all, this is CNN. I'll just get it out of the way and say Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi. I like it. Oh, yeah, that one. Trey?
Starting point is 01:18:08 The Sandlot. Oh, not just any Sandlot. Damn. I forgot there was another baseball. Star Wars Episode VII, The Force Awakens. Jeff? The Humphrey Red October. Oh.
Starting point is 01:18:36 Darth Vader, you don't hear his voice at all? All right, I'm out. Wow. But I do believe he's in Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. He is? Okay. He's not? At the very end.
Starting point is 01:18:50 At the very end. At the very end. At the very end, okay. You're just saying what he says, but it sounds like you're telling me no. Do you understand what's happening? It's like when Bruce Springsteen does a show and everyone yells, Bruce, it sounds like boo, stop it. Look, Gethard is very fragile right now, you guys.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Well, just in general, that's true. Darth in Force Awakens is never like, Kylo, you're an asshole. What do you got, Trey? I wish Ben, the two of us, the Lion King, Mufasa!
Starting point is 01:19:38 Holy shit, that's a good one. I just wrote down Mufasa. Saves time. Jeff, I just thought of one thatasa. Saves time. Jeff, I just thought of one that I wish I would have said instead of that dumb Star Wars answer. I got caught up. What was it? What did you think of? I thought of It's Your Turn.
Starting point is 01:19:57 Damn. That was so close. Come on, say something. Okay. What is it called? It's called... Oh, The Hard Way. The Hard Way?
Starting point is 01:20:13 Michael J. Fox. And James Woods. There's no reason to bring him up. Nate, I need your help. Nate, what do you got? Rogue One, A Star Wars Story. I wasn't sure if it had been said yet. Rogue One, A Star Wars Story.
Starting point is 01:20:31 Darts in that? Yeah. Holy shit. Good job. He is. He makes a horrible pun. Oh, yeah, he makes a horrible pun. Hey, whatever, man.
Starting point is 01:20:40 He's the greatest fucking villain in cinematic history. Although, apparently, you haven't seen Schindler's List. I think Trey just quit. I think Trey quit. We got to wrap this up. Yeah. You gotta lose quick. Michael J.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Fuck me, man. You already went to Vietnam once? Yeah. Oh, shit. What was the name of that dumb movie? I don't know, but you're probably just
Starting point is 01:21:23 gonna help Jeff. Which is fine, because I hope somebody says it. All right. So you're probably just going to help Jeff. Which is fine, because I hope somebody says it. Alright, so you're out? Yeah. Damn it. Alright, Jeff? Casualties of War. Oh! Michael J. Fox, Brian De Palma movie. Yeah, Sean Penn. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:42 Do you have anything more left there, Chris? I'm so sorry, Nate. I'm out. Oh, Sean Penn. Do you have anything more left there, Chris? I'm so sorry, Nate. I'm out. Oh, shit. I just remembered Coming to America. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Yeah, but that means that
Starting point is 01:21:57 Jeff Tate is, in fact, our winner today! Alright, so I don't need this shithead if you won, Jeff. That's from mine. That's from Chris's? Okay. Then I do need it. Hand it to me. Thank you. That poster, just do whatever you want with that.
Starting point is 01:22:23 I got a little piece of paper over there but where's the guy you were playing where's anthony oh shit there's that water pipe and this water pipe are you a pot smoker at least you don't put it's not necessarily for marijuana. It could be... You just take big rips of tobacco. I smoked crack out of a bong once. I want Ben to have his poster back here.
Starting point is 01:23:00 You can pass that back to Ben. Let's do some uh plugs you guys i'm gonna be doing a doug loves movies in columbus on july 7th and cincinnati on july 8th and all you know you know where to go for all of the for more info jeff what do you got coming up i'll be in cincinnati june june 28 29 and 30 and july 1st at Go Bananas. And I'm... And I got an album. I got albums on iTunes. And you could buy a CD from me and then it would just
Starting point is 01:23:31 remind you to listen to it on Spotify or whatever. And... Wait, they buy a CD from you and then it reminds you to just listen on Spotify? Yeah, yeah. You just have it and you go, oh yeah, Pandora. Okay. Yeah, something like that. So you're going to be like out in the lobby selling these?
Starting point is 01:23:48 Yeah. Yeah, and what's the price? $10. $10 or? Or some weed. Yeah. I was going to say, you're into bartering. Yeah, I'm into bartering.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Let's leave the tax man out of this, okay, fellas? into bartering. Yeah, I'm into bartering. Let's leave the tax man out of this. Okay, fellas? If you got any marijuana that you need washed, you can pass it through Jeff and his organization. I will
Starting point is 01:24:18 turn it into less marijuana before you know it. Chris Geth, there are two shows here tonight, but what else you got coming up where people can see and hear you? Oh, I'm on the road all summer. I'm going to Tempe and Syracuse and Burlington, Vermont, Salt Lake City, Minneapolis, Austin, Texas, Washington, D.C., Toronto, Montreal. I'm all over the place.
Starting point is 01:24:45 All those dates are at chrisgeth.com. Yes, thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. It was fun. Is there somewhere we can write to to make sure your show keeps going on the IP network? Yeah, I mean... I mean the IJ.
Starting point is 01:25:01 Practical. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what's going to happen with that. I have lunch with them on Tuesday. Oh, that's how that works over at True TV? I don't know. I guess Impractical Jokers are great at lunch.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Oh, I thought he had to have lunch. They lock down the whole schedule over a meal. I thought he had to have lunch with the Impractical Jokers. If he can win one of the episodes, he gets to keep a show. I have lunch and then one of them comes out and just relentlessly fucks with me. And then the other guys tell him what to say to me in an earpiece.
Starting point is 01:25:33 And you're like, I've seen the show. We're on the same channel. Guys, we're friends. We have been for years. It's weird. Well, thanks, dude. Have a great night thanks for having me it was really fun
Starting point is 01:25:46 and Trey yeah what's going on in your life July 11th at Punchline in Philly I'm headlining their Wednesday show
Starting point is 01:25:55 and then my album's on all that stuff but then I'm recording a new album at Creep Records in Philly in September
Starting point is 01:26:03 oh okay yeah so for people who really plan ahead for their albums yeah recording a new album at Creep Records in Philly in September. Oh, okay. Yeah. So for people who really plan ahead for their albums. Yeah. Comedy albums. There's going to be something in the fall. And then for my other dates, you know, look at all my other shit. I'll have them up there.
Starting point is 01:26:16 Okay, that's all. Bye. One more time for all of my guests. Jeff Tate, Chris Gethard, and Trey Gallion. Thank you to Helium Comedy Club. And to the great people of St. Louis and outlying areas, I don't know where you guys come in from.
Starting point is 01:26:49 Holy shit, this glass is totally chipped as fuck. I really shouldn't. God damn it, Ron. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to pour some of these glass chips into another glass. And I'll drink from that one. Oh, I like this one better over here. Wow, this is like science.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Get my straws going. There we go. Have a great night, everybody. And as always... All right, I have to guess sometimes which one's going to be the bigger finish. And so here we go. Sony banning crossplay is a shithead?
Starting point is 01:27:41 If you say so. Were you the one that wrote it? Did you write that to fucking set me up? And read a shithead and go, if you say so. Can I introduce you to a hot young wife?
Starting point is 01:28:04 Thank you. How do I say this name? Eric Greitens. Former Governor Eric Greitens is a shithead! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess
Starting point is 01:28:22 makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies

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