Doug Loves Movies - Chris Hardwick, Dax Shepard, Steve Agee, and Jess Rowland Guest
Episode Date: August 14, 2012Live from the Nerdmelt Theater at Meltdown Comics in L.A., Doug welcomes Nerdist Chris Harwick, and from the new movie "Hit and Run," Dax Shepard, Jess Rowland, and Steve Agee....See Privacy ...Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe stiff.
He's been licky as a dog, or curdled in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see.
No, Doug, no, no, no, no.
Yeah!
Hey, everybody. Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies
Hey Doug
Hey
Thanks for coming out
What an intimate approach to an audience we have
I love movies
Did I say that already?
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from
the Meltdown
Nerd Melt Theater at
Meltdown Comics on Sunset Boulevard
in Hollywood, California
on Monday
Monday, August
13th. I got this!
Two Oceans 12!
Thank you for coming!
I, like, totally buried all these things
on top of my notes,
so that was all from the top of my head.
Pretty impressive.
I know, it's crazy
that I was able to get through that oh Jesus I'm really I'm terrible I'm not a
good prop act I'm terrible with all this I don't know how they do it I'm really
impressed with Gallagher now because it's a it's a lot to deal with, having all these props. Alright, here we go.
Since last I spoke and you listened, I smoked myself to sleep in the great state of Denver.
What a great weekend.
I've got some great guests lined up for tonight, but first, let's see if you guys brought some name tags.
Do we have any name tags in the house tonight?
We've got Sam right up front, the son of Sam movie.
And we've got Nick with the Nick of Time poster.
That's pretty clever.
You didn't even have to change anything if your names are Sam and Nick.
True Brit, I like that.
True Brit is a good one.
Maker's Mark, because your name is Makers.
I get it.
And actual name tags.
What do these name tags say john wells hoffman
engineering stanford connecticut wow attendee so this is a thing you went to and your name is john
wells he makes that tv show er you know that show that he still makes thomas williams also
hoffman engineering but shelton connecticut i, Connecticut. Yeah, I fucked up on the address. You fucked up on the address?
On your registration?
That's a great story.
And then we've got someone named Reserved
sitting over there.
What a terrific reserve seat
just between two people.
Somebody's just got to squeeze in there somehow.
Good luck to that person.
Oh, what is this?
Seventh Son Nicole VFX Coordinator. So you did that job is this? Seventh Son Nicole VFX coordinator?
So you did that job
on the movie Seventh Son?
Who was in that movie?
Jeff Bridges?
Oh, he does car commercial voiceovers.
Say hi to Starman for me.
So, uh,
thank you all for bringing those name tags,
and those will go into effect
a little later on in the show
now it's time for a watch this not that
audience edition
let's get a couple people in the crowd
let's start with Summer of Sam
what's a movie that you enjoy
besides Summer of Sam
because that's not really meant to be enjoyed
Dark Knight's pretty awesome
Dark Knight's pretty awesome. Dark Knight's pretty awesome.
All right.
We'll see what Makers Mark has to say about that.
He's got an anchor on his arm,
so he might say Popeye.
And by anchor on his arm,
for the listeners, I mean fat girlfriend.
What's a movie you like, Popeye?
American Psycho.
American Psycho, wow.
Oh, you gave me a
Christian Bale Sophie's Choice.
Probably, they might be one and two
of my favorite Christian Bale movies
of all time. I mean, you know, Newsies
is a close tie for 15th or 16th.
How many films has he made?
Oh, I like The Fighter, too.
That's another good one.
Swing Kids?
There's a thing called Swing Kids?
Oh, that's right.
Nazi Germany Swing Kids.
All right. Nazi Germany swing kids. All right.
Because that sounds like kids that, like, they'd swap couples.
Swing kids.
Or they go to Vegas with Vince Vaughn.
I don't know.
All right, but I, you know, I just have to stick to my, you know, my true beliefs on this one
and go watch Dark Knight, not American Psycho.
This has been Watch This, Not That, audience edition.
Yeah, that was a tough one.
Because that American Psycho movie, that's crazy shit.
That's pretty fun to watch because of how crazy it is.
Right? Yeah, yeah.
So good choice.
Nice try.
I'm doing two shows
in New York City
this Sunday, August 19th.
The Benson Interruption
at 4.20
and Douglass Movies
at 8 o'clock,
Gramercy Theater.
Next night, August 20th,
I'll be at Helium in Philly.
The Douglass Movies
taping is sold out,
but I'll be doing
a stand-up show at 9.30,
so come to that.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief,
tweets about movies.
My friend at Jerry Duggan,
G-E-R-R-Y-D-U-G-G-A-N,
tweeted,
Hope Springs was filmed in WiMAX.
This has been Tweet Relief,
tweets about movies.
Oh, Labor Day weekend, I'll be at Bumbershoot,
Seattle's arts and music festival, for all three days,
doing three Douglas movies tapings, one Benson interruption,
and even a stand-up set.
Let's Bumbershoot the shit, y'all.
Prize bag, let's go to the prize bag.
We've got a poster from a motion picture that's coming out soon.
We've got some nice little tank tops
that say, this car is tits on them.
And we'll explain more about why it says that later.
We've got an Adventure Time t-shirt.
We've got the, I still have some of these to give away a vinyl of the latest
from motion city soundtrack called go and it includes a CD of the same record
and a couple of couple of random t-shirts that I don't know what they
have to do with anything super super action man world tour and another one
but then also a foam cover that has a logo on it you might recognize.
And, of course, my albums, Smug Life and Professional Humoridian,
are in there as well.
Please help me in welcoming to the stage four dudes of varying sizes
who will sit on these stools of varying sizes.
We worked it out backstage.
Please welcome
Dax Shepard, Jess Rowland, Steve
Agee, and Chris Hardwick.
Yeah.
Tall chairs.
Almost level.
I think Dax is the tallest in this situation.
I was expecting you to be taller.
Just for the listeners
who didn't see the freak show
that just entered.
But for the listeners that didn't see the freak show that just entered. Can everyone see that now? Just to know.
And then hi.
But for the listeners that didn't see who just entered, there's two guys that are 6'7 here.
Two 6'7s?
Both gingers.
Both beautiful auburn colored hair.
Is auburn a shade of red?
Sure.
Yeah, yeah. But beautiful autumn hair.
Both 6'7 and they've now been handicapped appropriately in little
miniature chairs.
I have a nice spray tan.
I don't know, Steve.
I have a spray vanilla on.
A spray white.
An aromatherapy.
I fight my ginger all the time.
I fight it. I'm like, I don't want to be that.
You look delicious, though.
Kind of a caramel color, really.
My eyes pop.
You win tallest hair.
Me?
Dax.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't push it down, Chris.
What?
No, I'm just...
I just play tennis.
I don't know.
I'm self-conscious about it.
Great tennis weather right now.
Yeah, it's so good to be outside.
Each day I've thought,
God, I wish...
But we just performed at... We just performed at
Outside Lands in San Francisco, and most of the
city, San Francisco, beautiful weather,
75 degrees, and then you get
almost to Outside Lands, Golden Gate Park,
and it's like, fucking Scotland!
Like, fog bank, and it's like 55
degrees. So it was actually pretty cold
up there this weekend. That sounds nice.
Niggers playing golf. Yeah, exactly.
Steve Agee is here, everybody.
Yeah.
He's one of two giants
on the program this evening.
One of the twin giants
that are here.
And you've got a new movie
coming out, Steve,
called Hit and Run.
It's a Steve Agee vehicle.
I wrote it.
It's definitely a vehicle or Agee vehicle. I wrote it. It's definitely a vehicle.
Or features a vehicle.
And Steve plays
dude number one or something?
I think so.
I hope it's not dude number two.
That would be insulting.
I would never do that to you.
Isn't it more specific
than dude number one?
Sweet dude number one.
Ginger giant number one.
Ginger giant number six.
Where do all these ginger giants come from?
According to IMDB, it's just dude number one.
All right.
Great.
Thanks.
How many dudes are there?
Is there a gang?
He does have a sidekick, but that guy didn't get to talk.
He was actually our production manager.
Kevin Manos.
Kevin Manos.
Sweet guy.
He drove a PT Cruiser with wood grain side and Moondish hubcaps.
And then blew our mind at the wrap party by hitting the horn.
And it went, Aruga!
Aruga!
It was like an old-timey horn.
Very specific type of person.
Did a wolf's eyes pop out while he was watching a lady say Red Riding Hood dance?
Huge teeth and wolf's eyes.
Tongue hit the ground.
Rolled out of his mouth for a couple feet.
I don't know what's happening anymore.
But I thought it would be funny to ask Steve about the movie that actually Dax Shepard has a bigger part than Steve in it.
Slightly bigger part.
It stars myself and Kristen Bell.
And a supporting role, Dax Shepard.
I cast Dax in the lead.
Was that the first time you and Kristen had done a movie together?
It's the only time, yeah.
That guy Manos.
Kevin Manos.
Kevin Manos.
Is his nickname
Hands of Fate?
Yep.
Yep, exactly.
Thank you.
A couple of movie nerds
in the crowd.
That's exciting.
But so, yeah, Dax,
tell us about this movie.
Tell us what's going on with it.
This movie's a car chase comedy.
Hit ampersand run.
Yeah, to keep it fun with the ampersand.
There was a think tank that decided that was more fun.
But, you know, my favorite movie as a kid was Smoking the Bandit,
and there hasn't really been a car chase comedy in a very, very long time,
so we made one.
And I play a guy in Witness Protection who falls in love with Kristen Bell right here.
And then decides to leave Witness Protection to take her
to her dream job, and then all hell breaks
loose, and Bradley Cooper's chasing
us, and I run into Steve Agee.
A cop's chasing us, played by
the other tall, red-headed gentleman, Jess Rowland here.
Jess is really funny in the movie.
He's unbelievably funny.
He's using the Grindr app
throughout the
movie to find
random dudes
to suck and
fuck in bushes
nearing around
him.
I'm really horny.
Dax's parents
are here tonight
by the way.
My parents are
here and they
made the snacks
for the movie.
Snacks?
Yeah.
It was a very
family affair.
Did you try to get a Burt Reynolds cameo in a Trans Am?
No, I didn't.
He's kind of relaxing down in Jupiter, I think.
Jupiter, Florida.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know that he's doing a lot of cameos right at this moment.
Well, he's wrong.
He is.
We have Bo Bridges, though.
That's pretty impressive.
I was shocked that he was willing
to be in a movie I wrote.
He really classed it up, you know?
Don't you think, Bo Bridges?
Doesn't that,
the one name you're like,
wait a minute.
Bo Bridges.
This is a misprint.
AG, sure.
Roland, Shepard.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Bo Bridges.
Sir Peter O'Toole.
Whose joke is this?
Yeah, Lawrence Olivier.
Just Roland, you are in a movie called
Hit and Run that's coming out soon.
With Steve.
What was the director on that movie like?
He was amazing.
I'm a fucking waiter, and he put me in this movie,
so I already won.
That's pretty awesome.
By the way, if you want the best service
of your fucking life, go to Houston's
in Pasadena and Jess will blow
your mind. That's not even
a joke. He calls it shining
his light on people and
he's not being gratuitous with that description.
I blow people's minds
but I don't want to be a waiter for long,
so let's talk about hit and run, guys.
You even have women trying to fuck you
that come in for martini lunches and stuff.
There's a lot that happens at Houston's
that you do or don't know about.
I didn't.
I've eaten at Pasadena's in Houston,
but I've never...
That's not as good.
Is there a guy?
Is there a 6'7 guy?
No, no, no. They have low ceilings
and it just wouldn't work.
But you...
I did look up your IMDB profile,
as I often do, because I IMDB.
And
it says you played...
The internet movie Doug Benson?
Yeah.
It says you played Tall Dancer
in Princess Diaries 2,
Royal Engagement.
High fives all around for that.
Tall Dancer, dude number one.
Which one's...
I think he...
I don't know.
I win.
Tall Dancer's way better.
That's way better.
Sounds so festive.
Yeah.
Was that a holiday movie?
That was a...
I was in a play and Gary...
Did you get any of that cat pussy
while you were working on that?
I didn't, but you...
Yeah.
I did dance with Anne Hathaway
and did some shimmies
and some splits and some kicks
and Gary Marshall put me in that movie
and that was really nice of him
and that got me my SAG card. Have you heard of a SAG
card? I have!
I do know it! Have you heard of
Taft Hartley? At the bottom of my sock drawer
I have a SAG card.
It doesn't get used.
Yeah, it doesn't get used.
They send them to you in the mail and then you're like,
no one has ever said, I need to see
your SAG card immediately.
Except when you try to use
their health insurance.
Then they really need to see that card.
Even if you're on fire, they won't
piss on you without that card.
$2,000 short every year for that insurance.
You didn't make it. I get that letter.
Sorry.
Chris Hardwick is here, everybody.
Hey.
Nerdist.
Hey, guys. Chris Hardwick is here everybody Hey Nerdist Hey guys Now what are your thoughts on Hit and Run
Hit and Run
Is the best movie that I have not
Seen yet
But I want to
Because I've known Dax
Do you mind if we put that on the poster
I think that would get asses in seats
The best movie I haven't seen yet.
Let's just draw it on these for starters.
I've got three
copies of the poster
from the movie. So one person that wins
the Leonard Maltin game tonight is going to get one.
But I'm thinking maybe we'll have
two runners up.
Because they're signed by...
12% of you are leaving with a poster.
I crunched the numbers just now.
Hit and runner.
They got Tom Arnold's signature on these somehow.
Like he sat down for a second for some reason.
Tom?
Tom, he stayed still long enough to sign three posters.
No, he holds his hand straight
and we move the poster under.
And then, yeah,
and I think Bradley Cooper's on there too, I think.
I mean, his face is. And I think whoever wins tonight, yeah, and I think Bradley Cooper's on there, too, I think. I mean, his face is.
And I think whoever wins tonight, Doug, is the person that they're playing for should get to sign the poster as well.
Just so someone's like, who's Craig Jefferson?
Or I would recommend that they plagiarize Cooper's name, that they sign for Bradley.
That could be a fun thing as well.
And then just put something like, Bradley Cooper
underneath in quotation marks, pussies are cool.
Or like some sort of a weird...
Delicious pussy. Yeah, exactly.
Wow, Bradley Cooper, yeah, he signs
pussies are cool on everything. I don't know.
It's like his thing. Oh, a real quick side story.
In real life, I went to Afghanistan with
Tom Arnold to entertain the troops.
Are you sure that wasn't a weird dream
you had?
That really
happened.
Somebody had that idea.
I think that was a movie, actually.
But we heard while we were
there that Larry the Cable Guy
was coming a week after us.
I'm like, well, who do you guys have
on the agenda? And they're like, oh, Larry the Cable Guy's
coming next week. I'm like, great. So when you're
there, they have you sign all this military
equipment that everyone who visits ends up signing right so they drop the panel
of this Apache helicopter and on there is like Jim Carrey you know anyone who's
come through has signed it so I wrote get her done
Dax Shepard I have pictures of me signing everything that I knew he'd end up having to sign.
And I wrote, get her done, Dag Shepard.
I just thought, what the fuck?
He probably hasn't had to write something other than get her done in 15 years.
He was probably like, what the fuck am I going to write now?
Get her did.
I like to think he was pissed off
when that happened. Larry the Cable Guy,
employee of the month.
You just got punked. Larry the Cable Guy.
It's the 50th
anniversary. Is that the right word?
It's 50 years
of Larry the Cable Guy.
How did it go by so fast?
You got that grandmother who farts.
You ever seen her?
She just do a fart.
Tonight we have a really big show.
Tonight Larry the technology
that hasn't been invented yet guy
on the Ed Sullivan Show
going to Lawrence the Ed Sullivan show.
Going to Lawrence the Cableman.
Anyway,
James Bond
is celebrating
his 50th anniversary, and so
it got me thinking about Bond
movies and
wanted to talk about them. Chris,
do you have a favorite one of all 22
of the sanctioned broccoli bond movies well i you know i i thought i thought moonraker was pretty
cool as i saw when i was at the time at the time yeah when you watch it now may not hold up that's
where they went star wars is. Bond should go into space.
Well, that's where you, you know, that's the logical.
It's like you do a couple movies
in the domestic setting,
and then you go to another country,
and then you go to either
under the sea or space.
And so I like that.
But I think the first
Daniel Craig movie was pretty fucking badass.
Yeah, Casino Royale. Yeah. Casino Royale.
Yeah, Casino Royale.
On his shoulders.
It was pretty...
Seriously.
Seriously.
I like that one.
Yeah, and the first Casino Royale, Woody Allen played James Bond.
So that was a weird one.
I notice you've taken to resting the mic on your chin.
As if it's just too heavy for you.
I'm holding myself up.
You're holding yourself up.
I have vertigo, so I'm holding myself up with the microphone.
I do have vertigo.
From that low stool that you're on?
No, that's not how vertigo works.
Jimmy Stewart never had it
when he was sitting on a low stool in that movie.
Jimmy Stewart can suck a dick.
He doesn't know vertigo.
He was always in a lighthouse when it happened to him.
That fucking hack.
I really hope
when they review the podcast for the week,
you're one of the quotes. Jimmy Stewart can suck
a dick, Steve Agee. Just totally
out of context.
We gotta give this one a listen to.
Now they might
attribute it to Chris Hardwick.
Forget to leave in the part where he says that you said it.
No, Chris Hardwick is quoted if Steve Agee is saying.
Did you, Steve Agee, have a favorite James Bond film?
I like the one with the Dr. Evil guy where he puts his pinky in his mouth.
That's good.
Million dollars.
That's my favorite James Bond film.
And then there's a miniature version of the bad guy.
Yeah, a little James Bond.
The weirdest thing happened to me today.
It's weird.
James Bond.
It's so weird this came up, because I would never have remembered to tell this story.
But today, on my way home from the airport, I stopped at the 7-Eleven to get some important stuff.
Zigzag.
Anyway, I was at the 7-Eleven
Never forget
And I
But when I went to get out of my car
I stood up and there was like
A small dog or something sitting in the back seat
Of this really big
Black like SUV
And as I stood up you know I just couldn't help but look him in the eye
And it was
Vern Troyer I swear to god just today sitting in the back of the truck just waiting you're supposed
to crack the windows yeah that's so illegal it was all the way down okay but I kept away he didn't
buy it or anything because I kept moving right but I go inside and I'm like which one of these guys
is like inside buying shit for Vern Troyer and left him in the car?
And it turns out it was the kind of burly, weird-looking dude with a 12-pack of Coors Light was what he was picking up.
So he and Vern were probably going to go have a pretty awesome party somewhere.
Hollywood story.
True Hollywood story.
You heard it here.
I met him one time at the
Teen Choice Awards backstage
and it was like...
Oh, they were giving him out that year, right?
Yes, they gave him out.
He switched to surfboards the next year.
And it was
super duper dense, packed with people
back behind the building
where everyone's milling about waiting to go up on stage.
And all of a sudden, a
little person was going, out of the way!
Out of the way! A female little person.
Get out of the way! And I moved
and she was clearing the way for Vern
Troyer, which was even way, way
smaller than her. So tiny. And I thought, what a
bizarre security detail for him.
His security
detail was a fellow little
person. Now, this is not a bit
and yeah I can't
find the logic behind that
why you would want a little person to protect you
because she knows exactly what's
coming at his level
I guess
she gets kicked in the face
before he does
or maybe he thought a big person would be liable to hurt him
just like the other big people.
I gotta be honest.
If I ever got to the point
where I ever needed
or thought,
like,
oh,
I should have a bodyguard,
I would hire
a couple little people
because I think
it would freak people out.
They'd be like,
what?
They must be fucking deadly.
Like,
there must be some
reason why.
You know,
I think it's a smart idea.
Well,
that's what I thought when I saw this gal.
Oh, shit.
This girl is deadly.
Well, you know, the bad guy
Scaramanga, his sidekick
in one of the James Bond films,
the man with the golden gun, was
Hervé Villachez, played
Nick-Nack, which
that's not an insulting name for a little person.
Nick-Nack. Hey, Nick-Nack. Which, that's not an insulting name for a little person, Nick-Nack.
Hey, come over here, small item.
Shelf-dweller.
Shotski.
Come here, Trinket.
Get him, Trinket.
But he did fight for him,
and even in the end,
that was one of those movies
where the bad guy dies,
and then his sidekick still attacks James Bond
after the guy's... You'd think he'd be like, well, I'm out of a gig, and give guy dies, and then his sidekick still attacks James Bond after the guy's...
You'd think he'd be like, well, I'm out of a gig and give up on it.
But instead he's like, no, I'm going to hide in a closet because I'm small,
and I'm going to jump out and attack James Bond in the last reel.
So I like that one.
Scariest little person, though, Master Blaster.
Oh, that guy's crazy.
From Thunderdome.
That person was...
He wrote Sparta.
Thunderdome, that's my favorite Bond movie.
That's a very good one.
Jess, it's not your turn yet.
Thank you.
Dax, do you have one?
A favorite Bond movie?
I think it's Octopussy
but mostly just because
he drove the Lotus Esprit
in that movie.
All I cared about
I prioritized them
by what car he drove
in that version.
And I really liked
the Roger Moore ones
because I grew up on him. So I also
like View to a Kill. But View to a Kill was
such a weird... Well, Duran
Duran. It was Arcadia did the soundtrack.
It was Duran Duran. It was great dancing
Bond movie. And Grace Jones.
Grace Jones in that one.
Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken, yeah.
On the Golden Gate Bridge. Kind of a young Christopher
Walken. About Silicon
Valley. Yeah, and they had computers in it,
like those early computer terminals
with the orange tint to the screen.
But the movie was not...
Even as a kid, I was like,
this is not great.
The later Roger Moore movies,
he was in his late 50s, 60s
when he was making them at the end there.
And everything was green screen.
He'd be on the side of a mountain and there'd just be this blue line all around his head.
Like, oh, okay, yeah, that looks real.
They had him for an hour a day.
He wasn't a baby.
No.
So you're going to stick with that?
The Thunderdome?
Actually, I think Bond movies come from your past.
And I lived in Sweden for all of the 80s.
And no TV.
Never saw any movies.
So I'm...
Jess's dad was a professional basketball player in Sweden.
Continue.
Yeah.
So I didn't really see any Bond movies in the 80s.
None of those things really justified why you didn't see a movie in the 80s.
I didn't see...
But I think that you start, if you like something in the 85,
and then you start getting into it in the 95,
and then you'll go see the...
I just missed it all.
Next question.
If you were in Sweden and you missed the movies of the 80s,
like when Bill Murray drove by drunk in a golf cart,
you have no idea who that dude was.
No, I missed all of that, those references.
Any 80s reference.
What kind of...
What American movies
were big in Sweden?
Tintin.
Oh, really?
I can sing the Pippi Longstocking
in Swedish
if you want me to sing it.
Yes, please.
I would like to hear that.
I want to hear that.
Let me check with my lawyer
really quick.
I'm pretty certain
there'll be no rights violation.
How come Pippi Longstocking shall I hope shall I hate shall I hope and so how come Pippi Longstocking check with my lawyer really quick. I'm pretty certain there'll be no rights violation. Suck a dick to the party? Suck a dick, Jimmy Stewart.
Suck a dick, Jimmy Stewart.
Suck a dick, Jimmy Stewart.
Suck it all day long.
So your favorite Bond movie was Pippi Longstocking.
I'm not kidding.
We had two channels.
I used to play Monopoly with myself in Sweden.
It was sad. It was horrible.
No TV, no sugar for 10 years.
That explains
Nokia. Too much.
Oh, Ikea. There was no joke.
Real Ikeas where the babies were shit
in the balls.
You'd go into the kid room and you'd go
in and there was all these kids who were shitting.
It was...
Sweden sounds like a
terrible, terrible place.
There's no movies.
I'm like sweating right now, but
I want to go back now that I can rage. I heard it's a party
town, but not when you're seven.
When you're seven, it's just
awful. It's really clean.
It's quite dark in the winter as well.
I'd go to school in the snow and come home in the snow,
both in the dark.
I'd have to go with
Spy Who Loved Me.
If I had to pick one.
No one picked any of the
Dalton movies.
Dalton ones are just heavy without being interesting.
Yeah, but they were action-y,
like coming out of Roger Moore
when everyone thought Pierce Brosnan was going to get to be Bond,
but he couldn't because of Remington Steele,
and so they went Dalton.
I thought the Dalton movies were pretty action-y.
I thought Dalton answered the question like,
what if Bond was a benzo addict?
Yeah, he just seemed to be phoning it in the whole time.
It was like 60% there.
Yeah, and Timothy Dalton's super charismatic in other things. Like, he's a really good
actor, I think. Like Remington. No.
Like in Flash Gordon.
Yeah.
He was in Flash Gordon.
And he was in Hot Fuzz.
And he was in... Rocketeer.
Rocketeer. Okay, settle down,
sir.
Or is that, that's like that moment in the movie
where I think it is Rick Overton
stands up and goes it's the Rocketeer like that just happened like the
Rocketeer flew by and I I just thought he was heckling me let me ask you guys
this is anybody hunger for games I do feel that the odds
are forever in my favor.
That's a line from that movie.
You guys don't have to respond to it.
I know that you still all saw the movie
just because you didn't react.
I'm going to shoot you in the neck with an arrow.
Is that in that movie?
Only if I'm a 12-year-old.
Then it's all right.
Did you like that movie that movie? Only if I'm a 12 year old. Then it's alright. Did you like that movie, Chris?
You know, I was expecting to
hate it a lot, and I thought it was okay.
Like, I wouldn't see it again,
but for what I expected, I was like, alright.
You know, because the idea that
kids murdered each other, like, alright.
I mean, obviously I know Battle Royale
well, but... Yeah, where they did it right.
Yeah, but I thought it was all right.
Had you read the books?
I did not read the books, no.
They're pretty darn good.
Are they?
Yeah.
All right.
I refused to read them.
And Kristen would tell me nonstop,
oh my God, you've got to read this.
It's so good.
And I said, what is it?
Oh, well, it's a teenage coming of age.
No, no, no.
It's in the teen section at the bookstore.
Then we were on an airplane for real.
And a seven-year-old ran up to Kristen, a seven-year-old, and said, oh, I love you.
Can I get an autograph?
Yes.
And she goes, ooh, Hunger Games.
That's my favorite book.
And I go, I am definitely not reading this book.
Now a seven-year-old said it was her favorite book.
And she said, if I read it out loud to you at night, will you listen?
And I said, I can commit to that.
And then I loved them.
They're fucking amazing.
They're so good.
I was like, every night, like more, longer, more.
I would probably enjoy them if Kristen Bell came over and read them.
Yeah, you know what else is really good?
Her version of the encyclopedia.
So good.
Has anyone read that?
Has anyone heard of this new book, Phone Book?
It's amazing.
Holy shit.
I can't wait till that becomes a movie.
Josh Hutcherson, just dialing numbers.
Let's start with Build aA-Title.
Yeah, one guy loves it.
Jury's still out with everybody else.
But it's a fun game that's especially confusing to first-time players.
So good luck to Jess.
But we'll start down on the other end with Chris.
So you can get a feel for what's happening here
by the time it gets to you.
That's the entire explanation of the game?
We're starting with Chris?
It's kind of like, yeah.
Thank you.
That's all you need to know so far.
But boy, you're going to have to learn a lot fast.
Because then we're going to go to Steve.
They've both played this before,
so that's why I think it'll...
That's badass. It's bad on my head it's basically a game where I do feel like I
have to explain it out a little bit because I don't want to be a dick just
like make you be bad at the games you don't know how it's going to work we
start with one title. Say the title
is The Godfather. You drop off
the the. We don't worry about the thes in this game.
Let's say it's Godfather. The first person
has to add a movie title to the beginning
of the end using part of the existing title.
In the case of Godfather,
you could go Godfather of the Bride.
Yeah. See how quickly
you picked it up?
Or Oh God, father of the bride
you know you can just keep adding
to it that way no no you don't
you don't add more than one at a time
but I appreciate your enthusiasm
but
keep that shit in Sweden
no Doug they don't
have games in Sweden
just Monopoly
you have to play it by yourself.
You can only play alone.
One player Monopoly.
It's a wasteland.
One car.
Plastic balls and kid shit everywhere.
Who wants to play Unopoly?
I have bought the property.
I win.
Not funny, guys. Not funny. I have a wall to save my face to live. I win. Not funny, guys.
Not funny.
I have a wall to join me.
I live that.
Okay, guys?
Who wants to join me for a celebratory shit in the ball?
That is not Swedish.
That is so horrible.
That is Nazi.
Wait, were you not describing Nazi Germany?
Because that's what it sounded like to me.
Yeah, yeah, it's good from Stockholm.
Yeah, it's good.
All right, guys, let's play.
And, you know, it's very low stakes.
You're not playing really for much of anything other than fun,
so don't feel bad if you're not good at it.
Uh,
at Vic Rando on Twitter suggested that we start with the title kingdom of
heaven.
So I mean,
uh,
it wasn't in the mic.
All right.
So Chris,
uh,
you have to,
you know,
come up with something that ends with King or kingdom or begins with
heaven.
Uh,
kingdom of heaven can wait.
That's exactly how it works.
No, please.
Stifle your encouragement.
Kingdom of Heaven
Can Waiting for Guffman.
Yeah.
Now all the
Guffman titles.
So that side of the thing's
dead.
No, no.
You can go man. titles. Thanks a lot. So that side of the thing's dead. No, no, you got it.
You can go man.
A movie that begins with man.
I set you up, bro.
Oh, thank you. That's for making me
dude number one.
Guffman.
Kingdom and
Heaven.
Kingdom of Heaven can
Kingdom of Heaven can... Kingdom of Heaven can
waiting for guff
Man of Steel.
That's not the name of Superman.
That's what the new one's called.
Kingdom of Heaven
waiting for a guff
Manchurian candidate.
I want Man of Steel back. Can I get Man of Steel? Youian candidate. Whoa! I want Man of Steel back.
Can I get Man of Steel
Magnolia? You got candidate.
Wait, what was it? Oh, Manchurian candidate.
Okay, so you could
just do something that starts with date
or ends with king
and try
if somebody in the audience
says it out loud for I don't know what
reason they would do that.
The hard part is remembering the whole thing.
Oh yeah, I'll help you through it.
Kingdom of heaven can wait
for government
Manchurian
can to date night.
Yeah!
Okay, no more helping, audience.
Oh, you didn't?
No.
I did.
But did you hear the Magnolias?
I had two.
Maybe someone was just making plans for later.
I got one.
I got one for that.
I think so.
I overheard someone saying,
this is a great date night.
I love when we come here for date night.
It is a date night.
I don't think they were actually helping.
Is it me again?
Mm-hmm.
If you don't play,
you just sit there and judge. Great.
Kingdom of Heaven can waiting
for guff Manchurian candidate
date night shift.
Correct.
Again, not remotely impressed that I
not only remembered all of that.
This is a very
difficult...
Almost impossible.
Shift is hard to build on
shift shut your mouth talking about shift
who's the man starting a new honor no no no still got this one night shift
something it ends in King Steve what oh yeah yeah I could just anything that
ends in King would work.
Plural?
Like three kings?
No, that S would just mess it all up. Yeah, I wasn't going to do that.
King.
Kong King.
That's what they call it in some countries.
That is the prequel to King Kong.
I think we can accept that.
King
fucking
Oh, I think you're on to something.
Fuck Kingdom of Heaven.
I don't have one.
Alright, so you're out.
We'll go to Dax.
You can do it, Dax.
Use your microphone.
Okay.
Well, it's not going to help me think, but...
You were on to something with King,
thinking,
Jesus, is there a movie called Baking?
Baking,
Kingdom of Heaven,
but there's no film called Baking.
I failed too.
Oh, shit.
Was I on to something?
Me?
I'm the worst.
Basking?
No.
I still failed.
Okay.
Jess, you have anything?
I'm going with the shift. I'm thinking shift. Look, I'm going to go. Really? You have anything? I'm going with the shift.
I'm thinking shift.
Look, I'm going to go.
Really?
You think there's something that starts with shift?
Nope.
Oh, maybe.
No.
Shifters?
Was there a film like Shifters?
No.
No.
No, those are creatures on True Blood.
There's a guy back there with a headset setting up new movies at a studio.
He's like wired and he's like shifting.
You got one?
I give up.
Thank you.
Fair enough.
And we go back to Chris.
You're the one that said Night Shift, though, right?
I did say Night Shift.
Do you win anyway?
Yay!
Do you have one, though?
No, but this guy does.
Lord of the Rings Return of the King.
Oh!
Nice!
Can you recite the whole thing?
Oh!
Kingdom of Heaven,
can waiting for Guffman,
Charing Canada,
date night, shift.
Woo!
What I liked about your read is that you sounded like
Jeff Bridges in Starman when he was learning
kingdom of heaven can wait
for a good man
ding night shift ding
that's the second Starman reference tonight
that's weird
you know it's just all in our collective consciousness
now
good movie
we could have gone walking and talking
like that consciousness now it is good movie oh we could have gone walking and talking dumb
of King no no no no no like that yeah anything that look who's talking yeah
yeah you guys are you guys were so on the right track and then you you were
you're walking off of it all right so Chris look who's talking that's just
thought of that
you want to try another one now you guys got
you think you have it oh yeah I think I got it
you think you know what to do yeah
it's so daunting it made me exhausted
just yeah
sweating because usually like if you're doing an
improv game you could just sort of make up whatever
but this is like you have to this word
so you're just accessing
the encyclopedia of your brain.
Yeah, you gotta deliver.
We'll start with Steve on this one.
Then we'll move to Chris, then Jess,
then Dax. That will help.
And Steve, this was suggested
by Lord Hammington.
Lord Hammington.
He makes a great car wax.
I just love his
Lord Hammington's car wax. I just love his Lord Hamilton's car wax. Lord Hamilton's car wax.
Available in lemon.
And he suggested Kill Bill Volume 2.
So you need something that ends with kill.
Fucking Volume 2.
Fucking Lord Hamilton.
Or the number two.
Okay.
Seems easy enough.
Kill Bill.
Kill Bill Kill Bill volume Two
Is there a movie called Two?
That wouldn't count if there was
You gotta build
Hard to Kill
That's right
Hard to Kill
Hard to Kill Bill volume two Hard to Kill Hard to Kill Bill Volume 2
Yeah Hard to Kill was
Steven Seagal
Spoiler alert
Truly was
Okay then
Die Hard to Kill Bill Volume 2
Yeah
What?
Die Hard
Oh wow You really flipped the script on this one yeah what oh wow
you really flipped the script on this one
hit me with it one more time
it's on Jess now
die hard to kill Bill volume 2
so it ends in die
wait and it goes to Jess now
we're going the other way
it's weird when you're sitting in a line
it begins with 2
2 is spelled a few different ways. Yeah, it was last time.
Sorry.
Die hard to kill Bill to kill a mockingbird.
Yeah, perfect.
Yes.
Volume two, kill a mockingbird.
Yes, correct, correct, correct.
Whoa.
Volume 2 Kill a Mockingbird.
Yes, correct.
Whoa.
Now you got all these Mockingbird movies.
Die Hard to Kill Bill
Volume 2
Kill a Mocking
Birdie.
Yes, Birdie.
Starring Nicolas Cage
and Matthew Bode.
A soundtrack by Peter.'s his name peter
peter yeah peter i hold that soundtrack over my head outside of girls houses yeah peter gabriel
um chris i think it's steve oh steve i'm sorry yeah it's me i just knew steve wouldn't have um live and let die hard to
kill Bill volume
to kill a mockingbird
die live and let
okay um
so we gotta end in live or begin with
birdie
uh live
um live let me live please uh something happened last night uh
let me live uh oh no live and let to live to live live uh ty. No. Live and let die.
What was the last one?
Bird E.
Bird E.
Bird E.
Bird E.
Bird E.
Bird E.
I think I got to know when to fold them, Doug.
All right.
Nice.
Fair enough.
Jess, do you have anything?
Bird E. No, what you have anything? Bird E.
No, what was the beginning?
Live and let die.
So something live.
Something live.
Oh, shit.
I got it.
It's too late.
It's too late.
No, I got it.
You're out.
You're out.
No, I've been resuscitated.
You thought I was dead, but I still had a pulse.
It was regenerating.
God damn it.
Mother fuck bag
Son of a
God
Fucking
Rowdy
Mother fucking
Rowdy
Things that really sound like movies
But I'm not confident on.
It's got to be a movie
we all know and love.
We don't have to love it.
Try one.
Is Born to Live a movie?
Born to Live?
Sounds like one.
Who isn't, first of all?
Sounds like a Stallone film in the 80s.
Born to Live.
Google.
Come on. Come on, somebody Google it. All right the 80s. Born to live. Google. Come on.
Come on.
Somebody Google it.
All right.
Dax.
I'm out.
I pass.
Steve, are you already out this round?
I think A.G.'s got one.
You're in?
A.G.'s got one.
You're going to win right now.
So I win automatically, right?
Did you pass?
Yeah, we all passed, so you were left.
You are the winner, but can you add to it before Chris tells us?
It doesn't matter.
Born to live?
I don't have anything else.
It's a red-headed movie.
What did you think of, Chris?
They Live.
They Live, yeah.
Rowdy, Rowdy Piper.
A fucking great movie, by the way.
Is that David Keith or Keith David that's in that?
Probably David Keith.
I think it's...
No, it's David Keith, I think.
Keith Keithman?
David Keith's the black guy.
Keith David's the white guy.
David Keith is a white guy, yes.
David Keith was the... Fire starter.
Yes, yes, yes, exactly. Oh, so then it's
Keith David that was where they live.
You guys really know your David Keith's
lords of discipline.
I did see Fire Starter in Sweden.
Oh, yeah? I remember that, yeah.
Did they take out all the fires?
Oh, I remember seeing that. How do you say fire starter in Swedish? I've forgotten a lot. I don't know.
Fire starter.
I said fire starter.
German. You can ask.
I can say all words in German.
Anyone you want to hear.
Wait, what was Pippi Longstocking's deal?
She was just like a crazy orphan girl who...
Right, but she's superhuman strength.
Like, she lifted their house, like, if she needed things.
And there's always, like, buried treasure.
And she would, like, have, like, voyages.
So, it was crazy.
She was like Mary Moonshine.
She was like Swedish Hulk.
She had two friends, Annika and Tom.
And they were next door.
Tommy and Annika.
Mr. Nelson.
Old man, the horse.
You know all that, too?
Oh, yeah.
I loved Pippi Longstocking.
Is it because you guys were both redheads?
It might be, yeah.
That's so sad that she's y'all's best.
It's not sad.
It's not sad.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
But even if you were green, you would have the Hulk.
But you guys have Pippi Longstocking.
How do you say drapes?
How do you say drapes in Sweden?
Drapers.
Drapers.
And how do you say carpet?
Carpets, drapers.
I wonder if Pippi Longstocking's
carpets matches the drapers.
Obviously it does.
That's not gonna work.
Fucking fire patch.
Cartoon laugh.
We've got a tie between
Steve and Chris in this very exciting game
of Build a Title, so let's do one more just between
Steve and Chris.
And we'll make it
a lightning round. I'm not going to give you a lot of time.
Time's up.
Give my throne away.
I've got to give you one first.
We'll start with
who got that last point? Steve.
We'll start with Chris.
Action Jackson
was suggested by
Jockey Bat
on Twitter. Action Jackson.
Action Jackson?
You need
something that ends in action
or begins with Jack son.
Nice hint.
Jack son of Sam?
Yes.
Okay.
Kangaroo Jack son of Sam?
Kangaroo Jack son of Sam I am?
What?
Fuck you.
You guys sound okay.
Kangaroo Jack, Jackson, Jackson.
Kangaroo Jack, son of Sam.
Kangaroo Jack, son of...
Kangaroo...
Kangaroo...
Kangaroo Jack, son, Jackson, of Sam. kangaroo kangaroo kangaroo jack shun jackson oh did i fuck that up yeah why
oh fuck man no kangaroo action jackson what this is like there's a porno called kangaroo action
yeah uh you didn't screw it up. It works. Kangaroo Jackson.
Jackson.
Jackson.
I don't know if that works.
No, that doesn't.
Jackson?
Even I don't think that works, man.
But it's action, not Jackson.
It's action Jackson.
He put Kangaroo Jack onto Jackson.
Yeah.
There's no action.
It doesn't work, bro.
Yeah, it doesn't work.
It does.
I'm looking right at it.
Yes, your blood is made of marijuana
kangaroo Jackson Jackson Jack the first part of building up Jackson yeah right is he is yeah
sometimes sometimes you got to open up your noodle To see what's really there man
Sometimes you gotta turn off
Your fucking brain to turn it on
Seriously man
Sometimes you gotta control alt delete twice
And then your brain comes back
Sometimes you have to have a pen and paper
That's very helpful
Kangaroo Jack
I drew it for him
Kangaroo Jackson
Of Sam helpful kangaroo jack i drew it for him kangaroo jackson jackson of sam uh of uh
sam what fucking ends with kangaroo tons of movies in australia yeah i think you're pretty blocked on this. No. No. Someone in the audience says no.
Sam.
Sam.
Someday you'll find it.
Sam.
Boy.
I sure don't.
It's too bad Bewitched movie wasn't called Samantha.
I know.
Sam. Sam.
Sam.
Oh, boy.
I don't know. You lose.
What about audience member that said they had something?
Sam I Am.
Sam I Am?
Samson and Delilah,
says somebody's mother.
I was thinking of the famous
Swedish film
Sandwich Party.
That could have worked too.
Sandwich Pot.
Steve is our winner
for the absolutely amazing
Kangaroo Jackson.
Jackson Jackson.
It's hard to say, but it works. Announce time. Jackson Jackson Jackson That is
It's hard to say
But it works
Yeah
And now it's time
This game had a lot of Jackson
It's time for the
Leonard Maltin game
You guys
And this is a part of the show
Where everybody in the audience
Or not everybody
Dax
But some of them,
have name tags that they've prepared.
And each of you are going to play for somebody in the audience.
So just get up from your seat and select a name tag
that you would like to play for.
Some gentlemen over there have actual real name tags
from some conference they went to that nobody gives a shit about.
Forgive my laziness.
That's a pretty good one right up front there.
Oh, yeah. I like that.
I'm going to go with Nicole who's doing VFX
on 7th Son. Do they hold it or do I hold it?
Yeah, you hang on to it because that's how
I know who you're playing for.
Thank you.
What?
You're upper right.
Oh, you know, this is the real deal. This is one of those
vinyl magnet things that you stick on.
Joe, have you had sexual relations with this doll?
I feel better about holding it.
Hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack, hack.
Yeah, it's the alien from Mars Attacks.
It says Joel on it.
Joe?
Joe.
So you're a disasteroid?
I'm in the upper left.
Upper left.
Oh, Jim Pierce.
Good luck. Let me see this thing. He just took some sort of... I'm in the upper left upper left oh Jim Pierce good luck
let me see this thing
he just took
some sort of
oh you
you were actually
in this movie
I directed it
you directed it
you directed Disaster
we got enough directors
here for one evening
what's it about
yeah this movie
there's no ampersand
in this movie
that's all we're talking
about tonight
what kind of cars
are in this film
but anyway Disasteroid
and his name is very tiny on there and it's Jim.
Jim Pierce. Okay, I'll remember
that. And then Joe,
Dax is playing for Joe. True Brit.
And Steve picked the True Brit poster.
I like that a lot. It's really good. It's a good one.
And then Chris is playing
for the lady that works on
Seventh Son. Isn't that a
Iron Maiden song?
Seven Son of the Seven Son.
Any Maiden fans here?
Hey, this guy. Is it?
Yeah, Seven Son of the Seven Son.
Right?
Yeah, he just said the same thing you just said.
It's confirmed.
What's your name, Google?
He knows everything.
I'm Frank Google.
Ask me any question.
Do you feel lucky?
What's your name?
Nick.
Okay.
What do you get when you mix Nick with a pot of coffee?
What?
Google alert.
That's pretty good. You might think it's not good, It's pretty good.
You might think it's not good, but it is good.
That's the magic of that joke.
Doug loved it.
Doug's, yeah.
I also like Diamonds Are Forever quite a bit.
If I had to...
Now that I've thought about it some more.
All right, here's how the Leonard Maltin game works.
Jess is losing his mind.
Very nervous.
Just remember, you're
only playing for a guy whose name is tiny
on a card that says Disasteroid on it,
so don't feel bad if you lose.
He didn't even write a shithead on the back, did you?
I, I, I, I.
Yeah, just go direct another movie.
Get your name bigger on the next postcard for it.
Basically, the Leonard Maltz game is,
let me explain it quickly.
You've played it before, Dax.
It's name that tune with movies.
Yeah, with movies and actor names
instead of notes and songs like you do with Name That Tune.
So it's a bidding game.
And again, since Steve won,
we'll start with Steve and go to Chris.
You'll have a couple of people play in front of you
to help you figure out how it works.
We'll start with Steve,
and he gets to pick a category.
I've got to get the phone out
because I used the letter...
I want to hear about Disasteroid.
Oh, you're doing it on the phone now.
Yeah, it's on...
Oh, I used to have the book, right?
Yes.
When you did it.
It was so tactile.
You were on with Tom Arnold,
and he didn't recognize any of the cast of the movie he starred in.
He was in, yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't recognize the names of any of the kids from Carpool.
Wow.
Well, I've been with him when people have come up to him
and said what fun they've had on the film they did,
and then they walk away, and I'm like, what movie?
I don't know.
I don't know.
He's been in several hundred movies.
He's done a lot, yeah.
He's done a lot, so it's hard to remember all that shit.
Okay.
Here are your options, Steve, for categories.
You can go with West Side Story.
This was suggested by Elio Tom.
I'll take the other one.
Elio TCM
suggested West Side Story, which is
movies that have either sharks or jets in them.
Never mind.
I think I like where this is
going.
At Dragon for Lunch suggested
Baby It's Cold Inside.
Baby It's Cold Inside. Baby It's Cold Inside.
That's movies where for some reason
someone is inside a refrigerator.
What the fuck?
It's happened in at least
four movies.
There's at least four movies where someone's inside
a refrigerator.
There are far more shark movies than refrigerator movies.
No, I feel like in the 80s
at some point all lead characters were trapped in a refrigerator.
But I don't know if that was the main...
We'll do West Side Story.
Here's your third choice.
Oh, oh.
At Rapid Tapioca suggested...
Rapid Tapioca.
Tapioca spelled with a K.
I guess Rapid Tapioca spelled correctly was taken.
spelled with a K.
I guess rapid tapioca spelled correctly
was taken.
Suggests
Dunzo Washington.
Dunzo Washington.
And that's movies
where Denzel Washington dies.
That's a short list.
Yeah, but it's a close race
between Inside a Fridge
and Dunzel Dying
and Shark and Jet movies.
I mean, there's probably
about five of each of those. We'll still go with Shark and Jet movies. Okay mean, there's probably about five of each of those. We'll still
go with Shark and Jet movies. Okay.
So there's a shark or a jet in this movie.
From the year, it's 2005.
And now is when
I give some clues. Everybody listen to the clues.
It may come around to you and you may have to bid.
Leonard Baldwin gives this movie two
stars, so he didn't care for
it very much. He says about this movie two stars so he didn't care for it very much he says about this movie
that it's highly predictable
and he also
I'll say more specifically highly predictable
crises
I already know this
well hang on
you have to wait until it comes around to you
and then
it also says it has hollow
characters and he lists Leonard Maltin and then it also says it has hollow characters
and he lists
Leonard Maltin
lists nine names
so now we start the bidding
with Steve. How many names do you think it'll take you
to figure out what this movie is Steve?
Reading from the bottom of the nine names
it's got a shark
or a jet in it or several of each
I'll say I'll start with seven.
I'll be safe.
Okay, seven.
Then we go to Chris, who can bid lower or say name that movie to Steve.
Who are you going to be next, Russ?
Jess?
Or Russ?
Russ Jowlin.
You know, I'll play the game.
I'll say six.
First of all, thank you for playing the game.
Jeff Garland just walked out on me once.
Jess.
No, it's your turn, Jess.
You can either say, Chris, name that movie with six names.
That's a lot of names.
Or you can say, I can name it in five.
I'll name it in five. He. I'll name it in five.
He says he'll name it in five.
Now, Dax, what are you going to do with that?
I'll name it in one.
See, he helped you out there.
Yeah, yeah. Okay, so now we've got to go to Steve.
No, I'm just kidding.
Name that movie, Dax. Stealth.
Your one name
is Wentworth Miller.
Stealth.
That is correct.
Whoa!
Thank you.
And that's the movie about a shark
that you can't see.
Stealth sharks.
So Dax gets a point, everybody.
Dax is on the board.
Joe gets a point.
What?
Joe, right?
Oh, yeah, Joe.
Yeah.
I really thought there was somebody on the panel named Joe when you said that.
Oh, shit.
You know Jess Rowland's name is Joe, right?
Okay, so since Dax was challenged by Steve, that means we will start with Chris
and move, but we'll move towards Steve this time.
Chris gets to pick up the category.
Oh my God, Nicole, we're going to do it.
I'm sorry I'm resting your name tag on my dick shelf.
I didn't realize where that was.
Yeah.
Let me get up in your VFX.
How many?
What?
Do I get to pick one of the other two categories?
No, you get three new categories.
Freshies.
Would you like...
Or oldies, as the case may be.
Would you like
At King of Pancakes category,
the number one movie
10 years ago
to this very day
at the domestic
U.S. box office.
Number one movie
10 years ago
today.
Or
Fragrant Bleach
suggested
Top Build
which is
a movie that was
featured in
tonight's round
of Build a Title.
A movie that we've
already mentioned
during Build-A-Title.
If you can remember what the fuck happened
during that game.
Yeah.
And your third option is...
Let's go with...
The Bjorn Legacy.
Suggested by Hulk Arena.
The Bjorn Legacy.
That's movies that have ABBA
songs in them.
So, Mamma Mia.
The end.
Which one of those
do you like? Ten Years Ago?
Oh, the Ten Years Ago. Already Mentioned Tonight?
Or
ABBA? I'm kind of
I was going to go the 10 years ago,
but I'm kind of interested to see a movie that we hadn't built a title.
Because we'll probably fuck that up, and that's funny to me.
So that's what you would pick?
Yeah, that's what I'm going to pick.
A movie that we mentioned tonight.
Okay.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie that was mentioned tonight.
The year is 2005.
And Leonard calls this movie
a British-Spanish-U.S.-German production.
That's not a review.
It's just a clue, Chris.
He also says about this movie
that it is impressive and epic scale.
Okay. And it was made and epic scale. Okay.
And it was made by all those different countries.
Could you hit us with the countries again, Doug?
British, Spanish, U.S.
Apologies to Jess.
German.
No Sweden.
Sorry.
They weren't involved.
That's a pretty good clue, actually.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, eleven names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Chris?
It was mentioned during Build the Title tonight.
Well, let's just start at 11 just to get the game going.
That's fair.
Steve?
I'll say 8.
What's Dax going to do with that?
I'm going to have to go with...
When we were adding on names to the different things,
it was one of those things.
And shot all of them.
And Leonard liked it.
I can challenge.
Sure.
Say name that movie.
That would be fun.
Say seven.
Say your favorite.
Oh, okay.
Seven.
Seven.
I do whatever he says.
Did he really talk you into?
Yeah. I love him. Whatever he wants. That's good. I like Dax. I've known him for years. All right. I'll do whatever he says. Did he really talk you into... Yeah, I love him.
That's good.
I like Dax.
I've known him for years.
All right.
I'll do it in six.
He says six over here, Chris.
Jess says six.
Jess says six?
Mm-hmm.
Name that movie.
I want to see him name it.
2005.
There we go.
Stretching.
Stretch that torso out.
Okay.
Your six names are
Ian Glenn, John Finch,
Edward Norton,
yeah, weirdly
low build in this particular thing.
The Manchurian candidate.
Glosson Mascoud.
I'm going to say Manchurian candidate.
Martin Koskas
and Brendan Gleeson.
Those are your six names.
Brendan Gleeson.
Brendan Gleeson.
What are you guys talking about?
I know what it is.
I go, I fucking got this.
He goes, what is it?
And I told him,
and he goes, that wasn't mentioned tonight. You're right. I go, I fucking got this. He goes, what is it? And I told him. He goes, that wasn't mentioned tonight.
You're right.
I go, Italian job all the way.
He said Italian.
Norton, all those different countries, and then Norton.
I'm like, in 2005?
I don't remember.
I'm going to stick with the Manchurian candidate.
OK.
Sorry.
The actual answer is Kingdom of Heaven.
I wouldn't have got that.
Kingdom of Heaven. So Chris't have got that. Kingdom of Heaven.
So Chris
challenged him, right? Yeah. So Chris gets
a point. We got Chris's on the board.
Chris's got a point. Dax's got a point.
Jess and
Steve have to catch up.
This works out. I don't know that I
could have got a point by challenging. I didn't realize.
Anyways, go ahead. Sorry, Joe. It's alright.. I didn't realize. Anyways, go ahead. All right.
Sorry, Joe.
It's all right.
We'll start with you this time, Dax.
Or wait.
Start with who challenged who, Jess?
I challenged.
You challenged Jess?
Yeah.
Okay, so we start with Steve and then go to Chris.
Steve, pick a category from these three.
Oh, I was about to pick a category.
I know.
You were ready to go.
Speaker sales.
In theaters now.
That's movies that are in theaters now.
Or at FYI, you rock suggested Hunger Names.
And that's movies where there's some sort of food in the title of the movie.
I like that.
And at Buddha Cosby. Movies where there's some sort of food in the title of the movie.
And at Buddha Cosby.
You ever notice how putting poppers in endless chasm of consciousness?
And when you go pray at the tree, the tree's like.
This is a good impression, Dax.
He suggested... Yeah, I do a really good impression.
He suggested yabba-dabba-don't,
and that's cartoons that were turned into
a live action
film. Oh, that's a good category.
It's fun. Which one of those
do you like, Steve?
The second one.
The food? Yeah, food.
As soon as
you said that's a good category,
I don't want him
to win.
So food. As soon as you said that's a good category, I don't want him to win. So...
All right.
Good luck.
Thanks.
The year is 1971.
Right now?
What happened?
How long have we been here?
This is an elaborate role-playing game.
We've been here so long, it's gone around.
We just time-jumped on the island.
To the worst year in our history.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1971.
He calls it a bittersweet satire.
satire and he also says that it is that it has a fine score by randy newman he's worse than jimmy stewart
that dick yeah oh and here's another one here another clue. I'm throwing in a bonus clue because it's interesting.
He says it was made in 1969.
So it was made in 69.
It didn't come out until 71 for some reason.
I don't know what it was.
That helps.
Yeah.
And there are nine names.
How many names do you think you can get in, Steve Agee?
Nine.
Nine name master.
It's a smart opening bid, Chris.
I got eight.
Feels like we're going the same direction we did last time.
I'll say 11.
Okay.
All the names.
I like that approach.
Chris said seven names?
I said eight.
Eight names.
So you can either
I know how it works.
Okay.
I'm trying to be
I'm your friend here.
Save that tone for Doug.
You can't direct him now.
This isn't the set
of your car movie.
Listen, that was great.
I loved it.
Now we're going to go again.
Okay. Okay. Okay. So just tone it down this time don't fuck it up go action know
everything Jackson it might just be 80% less just just do a little less Jess
that's what I got a lot bring it down I'll do that seven. Seven. Yeah. He said seven.
Name that movie.
Yeah.
I thought you were going to take it.
I thought that was what your eyes were saying to me.
I thought those crystal blue eyes were telling me to just say seven.
No.
Thank you.
And then I will do six, and then that's crystal blue eyes.
I'd say we're like, get this over with.
There's no way in hell you're going to be able to pull this off.
Gun metal.
That's food in the title, right?
I'm not going to get it.
Let's just speed it up.
It does have food in the title,
so let's do a speed round.
Even the people
who did grow up in this country
have no fucking idea
what this movie is.
I know.
It's 1971.
It's a tough one.
It's a tough one.
So let's just get it
out of the way.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's crash and burn.
It has food in the title,
just to remind you.
Yeah.
That might help.
Seven names.
Graham Jarvis.
Perfect. Gene Stapleton. Got it.
Ooh. Edward Everett Horton.
The famous Horton's
Donut franchise.
Barnard Hughes. Oh, I love
Barnard Hughes. I love Barnard Hughes.
I do, I do. He was in Tron.
Vincent Gardenia.
That's the food.
And this is a really good clue,
I think, because you have seven names, right?
Bob Newhart.
And Tom Poston.
Joe, we just got a point.
Buckle up, Joe.
We're taking a lead.
I got it.
Bread pudding.
Jim!
As soon as we locate a magnifying glass,
you will receive a point.
Jim Pierce.
I'm going to go with bread pudding, final answer.
That bread pudding is one of the best guesses
I've ever heard.
I wish the game worked out arbitrarily
that I could give it to the best guess.
But this really is about facts.
Got it. What is it?
Does anyone think they know what it's called?
Anyone in this room?
What are the other names?
The other names, I don't know if those will help.
Because I thought Bob Newhart was a giveaway name.
Pippa Scott and starring Dick Van Dyke.
Corn Dog.
The movie.
I love the confidence.
Oh, that's Corn Dog. So stupid. It's Corn confidence. Oh, that's corndogs.
So stupid.
It's corndogs.
Yeah.
Still nothing?
There.
What?
The gentleman that knows everything said it right over there.
It's called Cold Turkey.
Oh, is that where they pay the town for everyone to quit smoking?
A whole town has to quit smoking cigarettes.
I fucking remember that movie.
I forgot it was called Cold Turkey, and everyone goes crazy because they have to quit smoking.
Yeah, they have to go cold turkey.
Yep.
Not really about turkey at all,
it turns out.
They all try to quit
and it's pretty heavy,
but I also think it sat on a shelf
for two years
because I bet you
the cigarette companies
were a guinette.
Yeah.
I heard it was the turkey syndicate.
The poultry growers of Ohio.
I'm not going to have a movie about quitting anything in Turkey.
And the United Thanksgiving Foundation.
That'd be a great movie where a whole town has to quit bread pudding for a month.
They just all go about their business.
It's just exactly the way they live before.
Nothing happens.
They get the money at the end.
Everybody's happy.
And by the end, 10 minutes in.
It's a 10-minute end. Everybody's happy. And by the end, ten minutes in.
It's a ten minute movie. It's a short. It's a YouTube video where a town
has to quit bread pudding.
Well, Joey, he's right. You
look buckled in because you're our winner.
Dax won for Joe, everybody. I'm sorry,
Nicole. It was out of my hands.
Can I have to now
fillet Joe
what's the
no no
he just gets all the prices
oh great
yeah
Leonard said about
cold turkey
trenchant finale
doesn't
entirely
jibe
I've never seen the word
jibe written out before
g-i-b-e
jibe I think he meant jive doesn't jibe written out before G-I-B-E jibe
I think he meant jive
doesn't jive
you don't say don't jive
I think when people say
it doesn't jive with me
they're trying to say jive
they're getting it wrong
when they say jive
I think
I don't
you jibe turkey
you're such a kiss ass
you jibe turkey
shucking and a-jibing.
You jibe turkey.
You already said that?
That was the first thing he said?
Oh, fuck, man.
Let's play the other...
I think when I shook Doug's hands,
the THC went into my body somehow.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, I got it.
You're getting silly.
The other food movie was from the same year, 71.
Let's go ahead and play it.
Why?
Okay.
Just for fun.
Okay.
Just to see if this would go somebody's way better.
Okay.
Because this is another movie from 71
that has food in the title.
Who started the bidding last time?
Was it Steve? It was me.
Yeah, you picked this shitty category.
So we're going to put you through the meat grinder again.
Three and a half stars from Leonard
for this movie from 71 that has food in the title.
Leonard calls this movie
scathing.
And he also says that it remains potent today.
Who knows when he wrote that review, though?
He could have written it in 72.
Still potent in 72.
I know this seems like I should have figured this out a long time ago.
But it just occurred to me that Leonard Maltin has seen every movie ever.
I never thought about it.
He's watched a lot of movies.
But that tome is basically every movie ever reviewed, right?
So he had to have watched all of those movies.
He's been outside 11 times in his life.
He's got a staff and stuff.
He doesn't write at all.
He's basically in prison.
Oh, fucking ruin the magic.
He has ghost watchers.
Like ghost writers.
And Leonard lists
eight names.
How many names, Steve?
Eight.
Chris?
Eight.
It's scathing and it remains potent.
71, three and a half stars, food in the title.
Seven.
Seven.
Seven, says Chris. See, the and a half stars. Food in the title. Seven. Seven says Chris.
See, the same thing happened to you all over again.
Because of the order that we're doing this.
The order ruins it. Say six.
Six. Tax? Five.
There you go.
Four.
Oh!
I think I know of a movie from that year now.
No, I don't. But I know a a movie from that year now. No, I don't.
But I know a food movie.
Three?
Name that movie in four names.
Let's hear those people.
Okay, here's your four names.
David Prowse.
Steven Berkoff.
James Marcus.
Oh, you love him.
And Aubrey Morris.
The Apple
Doubling Gang.
No fucking way!
No, it's not right.
I was just nodding yes
like I enjoyed that answer.
Especially
because this movie is
the exact opposite of
Apple Doubling Gang because it's called
Clockwork Orange.
David Prowse is in two movies.
He's Darth Vader and he's in Clockwork Orange.
That should have given it away.
It didn't, obviously.
Guess what?
It gave it away for nobody.
Spoiler alert, it didn't give it away.
But anyway, that was fun.
For me, anyway.
Who eats clockwork? I don't get?
The orange part of it.
Orange is a color, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Nice try, bro.
You can't eat a color.
You can't eat a color.
Bad news.
Bread pudding's a color, right?
So, Nicole, I need someone for
to call a shithead. It's on
there. It's on the back so can you pass the name
tag down? Because the people that came in
second and
third place or whatever. Oh
that's a good one. He didn't write one
down on his so we gotta get
Director Jim up here. He can just
scroll it on the back of his
postcard. You really look like a director.
If your movie doesn't do well,
are you worried that the reviews are going to say it's a disasteroid?
Disasteroid.
Here, Steve.
It's a musical.
Playing this weekend.
It's a musical playing this weekend in L.A., everybody.
And it's called...
Disasteroid.
Hemorrhoid.
What? Wait.
Disasteroid.
Okay, that's a good one.
What you should do is put the
release date of your
movie is a shithead, so it gets promoted.
Whatever he's writing, it's
complicated.
I don't know whose pen that is.
Oh.
More promotion?
No, it's just...
The book he wrote?
His shithead is something about Breaking Bad,
and I haven't seen this week's episode yet,
and so...
Don't say it!
I don't think it gives anything away.
It gives something away to me, I think.
I don't think it gives anything away. I something away to me I don't think it gives anything away
I think it gives something away to me
You haven't seen it yet Chris?
No
I heard it's a really good one
I mean there's like 10 episodes left
And they kill off
It's all good Chris
I'm not going to say anything.
I'm still waiting to see how Usain Bolt ran.
I'm going to watch that in September.
Well, don't tell me.
In September, I'm going to see how he did.
Let's go do some plugs.
Chris, what are you plugging?
Oh, let's say the Nerdist channel on YouTube.
YouTube.com slash Nerdist.
Shows premiering very soon.
Star Talk with Neil deGrasse Tyson.
The return of All-Star Bowling with the Doctor Who cast.
Bill Nye, the science guy.
Neil Patrick Harris.
Stuff like that.
Nerd turns. All the interns who work here made a show. Science Guy, Neil Patrick Harris, stuff like that. Nerd Turns,
all the interns
who work here
made a show
and I just saw
the first seven episodes
and it's fucking hilarious.
Nerd Turns.
Nerd Turns, yeah.
Where can they see that?
When we put it up
on the YouTube channel
in the next month.
Okay.
Steve,
what do you got going on?
A little thing called Outrun.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
And also,
I mean,
I'm writing a pilot
for FX,
but people may never see that.
So come to Steve's house and watch him sit at his computer.
Come watch me write at home.
Go to Starbucks and watch Steve on his laptop.
Did you ask me or just go right into it?
I'm about to.
Okay.
I'll be patient.
What do you got going on?
August 22nd.
August 22nd, Outrun.
You know what?
It was originally called Outrun.
I just fucked up.
Hit and Run, August 22nd.
It's very, very, very funny.
Well, it was called Outrun.
It was.
That's an honest mistake.
By the way, they changed one fucking letter
from Outrun to Hit and Run.
It's actually...
So anyways,
yeah, hit and run August 22nd. And then
of course, Parenthood is
September 11th.
What if no one knew
Parenthood, but they were cheering for September 11th?
September 11th!
Yeah, same thing
for me. Hit and run August 22nd Wednesday
kind of my first big break ever
so I'm really excited
go see him he's so brilliant
don't forget his work in Princess Diaries 2
royal engagement
read that shit
and if you love his performance in the movie
go over to Pasadena
and get into Houston's and request him
because he will fuck you up.
I already did wait on someone
a week ago and they wanted a picture with me
while I'm... I saw the trailer
and I was like, oh God, this is
going to just start right now.
At work. Yeah, right after the movie comes out
I'm like, what side item do you want?
This is...
That's what Bradley Cooper does, and you?
You guys just go do your waiting job on the weekends?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you brought it up for the listeners.
I'm still here.
I didn't leave.
Sorry.
Well, you have left the stage.
It's quite a signal you're sending.
But I will say...
Say it.
No, I was just going to say similarly to you getting
you know, when I was on Punk'd
it was a very popular show and I had made
a total of $1,700 on
all eight episodes. Right. So I
would be out at a bar and people, I needed them
to buy me a drink. Right. Like I needed it.
I didn't, yeah. Did they think you were
punking them? They thought I was rich because
I was on television. Of course. But I was poor.
And everyone on television is rich. Is rich. Yeah. Yeah. thought I was rich because I was on television, but I was poor. And everyone on television is rich.
Yeah. I'm not rich.
I was hoping everyone would feel terrible for me. I think it
worked. Poor me.
Here's your prizes, Joe.
Congratulations.
Look at that grocery
bag of awesomeness.
And thank you one more
time to all my guests. Let's hear it for Chris Hardwick, Steve Agee, Dax Shepard, Jess Rowland.
Thank you, Jess.
Doug Benson.
Thanks to all of you guys.
Douglas Benson.
And as always, Jeff Bridges is a shithead.
And Hooch is a shithead. And Hooch is a shithead.
I'll find out later how you feel about Turner, but Hooch is a shithead.
And then close your ears, Breaking Bad fans.
The ginger guy from this week's Breaking Bad is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talking. This week's Breaking Bad is a shit.