Doug Loves Movies - Chris Hardwick, Jonah Ray, and Matt Mira Guest
Episode Date: September 22, 2010Doug welcomes his podcast brethren Chris Hardwick, Jonah Ray, and Matt Mira of "The Nerdist" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https...://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Hollywood
In front of a live audience
Yeah, those people
On Tuesday, September 21st, 2010
Holy crap, there's a lot going on
First of all
I would like to apologize for saying on the last episode
that the new Tournament of Champions app would cost 99 cents on iTunes.
Turns out iTunes sells singles for 99 cents,
but they don't consider something as long as that DLM app to be a single,
so they insisted on charging a dollar 99 for like
that's the smallest amount you can charge for something that long and so i think it's worth it
though because uh you know it's the tournament of championships so if you haven't if you haven't
already uh check it out it's currently number one on the albums chart on iTunes, or at least it was earlier today.
And Anthony Jeselnik's new album, Shakespeare, came out today as well.
And it's number two.
And I feel kind of shitty because my thing is only $2 and his is like $10.
So I think that's why I'm number one and he's number two.
It's a total fucking recession cock block.
But they announced that the recession's over, actually,
so forget I mentioned that.
I had a great time at the Comedy Attic in Bloomington,
Indiana last weekend. I'm wearing a
Comedy Attic shirt, and there were
enough name tags in the crowd
at the shows there for us to play the Leonard Mullen
game at every show, So we went five shows
for five playing the Leonard Mullen game, and
we had a lot of fun. And
I tweeted this the other day.
I want to make my own version of Eat, Pray, Love,
but it's going to be called Eat, Smoke,
Eat.
Dot, dot, dot,
sleep, repeat.
Alright, my guest tonight,
let's get him out here.
This is another great podcast
crossover event, as I like to do.
Please welcome the guys from
the Nerdist Podcast. Matt Meyra,
Jonah Ray,
and Chris Hardwick.
Hello.
Hello, DLF. Hi's Chris Hardwick.
Hi, Chris.
This is like Hanna-Barbera's Laugh Olympics
where all the characters would compete against one another
in weird contests.
That is what this is going to be like.
Yep.
Well, it's just one weird contest,
but yes, a weird contest will be had.
Matt Myra. I always stumble on Myra because... this one weird contest, but yes, a weird contest will be had. Fantastic.
Matt Myra. I always stumble on Myra because
I knew you for a long time
without ever having heard your name
out loud. Like it was in my phone,
I'd look at it and go, I'm calling Matt Myra now.
But you weren't. And I was calling Matt Myra
and I had no idea. Your outgoing
message should be,
you've reached Matt Myra. Please leave a message. Then that way should be, you've reached Matt Myra.
Please leave a message.
Then that way,
people you get to know that way.
Isn't it?
I haven't heard it.
It probably is.
It probably is.
I feel like it might be.
You probably say,
this is Matt Myra.
Leave a message.
Beep.
Hi, Matt Myra.
You've reached Matt.
You figure it out.
I don't know.
What does it sound like to you?
So yeah, so you guys are all on the
Nerdist podcast. We did one.
I got to be a guest on your show
in Seattle at Bumbershoot.
That episode just went up yesterday.
Monday the 20th it went up, so it's up
now. Oh, wow. Okay.
I think maybe somebody might have mentioned
to me, having heard me on there, I was kind of on
a lot of podcasts.
You were on Almost every show.
And the only reason you weren't on every show is because some of them were happening at the exact same time.
So you couldn't actually physically be in two places at once.
Oh, you mean at Bumbershoot?
Yeah, at Bumbershoot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just meant, like, in general, I've done a lot of podcasts lately,
and I've had a lot of people from other podcasts on my podcast.
So you're bragging.
I don't know.
We just have this podcast mafia going
that I want to support. You and I talked
about this. You said, we should do like a
mega podcast with everyone and just get like
co...
Oh my God.
Wow.
These two podcasts aren't enough for that.
Two podcasts happening at once is not enough for him.
When you brought up the idea of six or seven.
Double rainbow podcast.
It's a full triple rainbow.
Don't make him cum in his pants anymore.
Yeah, no.
No, he hit the back of that girl's head.
But I...
Oh, it's out.
I had said to you, we should do a mega podcast,
like you and me and Carolla and Marin and all these people.
And you go, you know who will never do it?
Jimmy Pardo.
And I'm like, I'll bet he would.
I ran into you the other night.
I was like, Jimmy, we should do a mega podcast.
Instantly, he goes, oh, that sounds like a terrible idea.
Really?
You don't want to put on?
Oh, heavens no.
Heavens no.
Why would I want to do that, he said.
I don't know.
It's fun. No, no. Sounds terrible. Sounds terrible. Sounds terrible. Love you, though.. Heavens no. Why would I want to do that, he said. I don't know. It's fun.
No, no.
Sounds horrible.
Sounds terrible.
Sounds terrible.
Love you, though.
Love you.
Yeah.
I'm going to go home now.
That's what he does.
He shows up for five minutes.
Nope, got to get now.
Then he runs.
Yep.
That's awesome.
So that won't happen with Jimmy Pardo, but it could happen with the rest of us.
But we can all go on his show and always have a great time when we do.
And he comes on our shows.
He's been on Nerdist, right?
He's not been on Nerdist yet.
Oh, okay. I've got to get him on there. I don, right? He's not been on Nerdist yet. Oh, okay.
I don't know if that's going to happen.
Sounds horrible.
That's a terrible idea.
Terrible.
That's a good impression, though.
Chris, Chris, am I saying that right?
Chris, Chris?
That sounds good.
Am I pronouncing that correctly?
Chris?
That's a really good thing.
Are we fighting?
We're fighting now, aren't we?
We're fighting.
It's a big hat.
At the risk of turning this into Doug Loves Pardo.
Doug Loves Pardo. Doug Loves Pardo.
Wow. You got a
new Mike Furman if you ever decide to
switch it up. You can get Jonah
Ray in there. Ray Hard.
Ray Hard.
I'll do it.
Okay.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
Yes.
Thank you, Jonah.
No, but I did see something on cable.
Oh, that counts.
What was it?
I re-watched Fright Night in anticipation of the new David Tennant-helmed Fright Night that's coming out.
He's helming it?
He's playing Peter Vincent.
He's a pretty big fucking character.
Wasn't the director Helmet?
It's really Tennant's driving that ship. Tennant's driving that ship. He's a pretty big fucking character. Wasn't the director Helmut? It's really Tennant's...
Tennant's driving that ship.
Tennant's driving that ship.
I don't know, but I watched the old Roddy McDowell version
with William Ragsdale and Chris Sarandon.
Yeah, that's okay, right?
Yeah.
That's about the right reaction.
The pace is probably a little leisurely for our times,
and even then, wasn't it PG or PG-13 or something?
It's not that violent.
The box art is a lot scarier than the movie.
It really is.
The house is terrifying.
No, it's not the house.
It's the cloud.
The cloud with the fangs.
Yeah, exactly.
Also kind of done in the Return of the Living Dead Part 2 box art.
There you go, folks.
Yep.
Look for that at a store near you.
What do they call it when it's a porn?
Box box art? Yep. Look for that at a store near you. What do they call it when it's a porn? Box box art?
Yep.
What about a gay porn?
Box cocks art?
Box box designer.
Box cocks.
Box cocks.
Okay.
I wonder what Leonard Maltin thought of Fright Night.
I would guess two and a half stars if I had to guess.
You think so?
Maybe he called it joyless.
Let's find out.
to guess? Maybe he called it joyless.
Let's find out.
I would imagine he might have thrown out the uncharismatic
William Ragsdale or something to that
effect. Come on, man. Herman said. He didn't really
take off after that.
Every time I think of Herman said, I also think
of Oops! The End of the World. Do you remember that one?
No, I don't. There was a show
called Oops! The End of the World. It you remember that one? No, I don't. There was a show called Oops! The End of the World.
It was like the last remaining six
people after a nuclear
holocaust. Did you just say nuclear?
George W. Bush. What did I say?
You said nuclear. I think you hear
that more than you want. No, I think you said it.
Did I say it? You said it.
Atoms live in the nucleus.
That's how much I don't care.
I love you, George. I love you. That's how much I don't care. I love you, Joe.
I love you.
That's how you massage a guy?
Yep.
It's not the way I would have said that.
Hey, it's just a little bit of foreplay.
What's the problem?
Oh, I forgot there was a Fright Night Part 2.
Really?
There was.
I think everyone forgot there was a Fright Night Part 2.
They never released it in America.
You know what there was, too?
I saw it.
I just saw the box art.
It's horrifying.
You're not wrong.
It's so scary.
There was a bachelor party too.
Did you know that?
It came out in 2007.
Yeah.
There's a third Sandlot movie.
Really?
Yeah.
There's a second Sandlot movie?
There's a third.
Nope.
They went right from one to three.
Does the killer change from episode
to episode?
We're just making Sandlot in prime numbers.
Either Jason Priestley
or Luke
Perry. Wow, it really does go on forever.
Interchangeable, really.
They play a professional baseball player who gets hit in the head
and then they just remember back to the 70s.
And playing on the old sandlot.
What an excellent,
I'm glad that effort
went into making that.
Leonard calls it
entertaining,
old-fashioned,
horror outing
energized by Richard Edlund's
spectacular special effects.
So he's really into that.
So he says that,
but for Back to the Future 2
he says joyless.
It's pretty mechanical
Back to the Future 2, though. He takes it, I think it's joyless when you take pretty mechanical Back to the Future 2.
I think it's joyless
when you take Crispin Glover out of it
because he was the most
entertaining character in the first year.
They took himself out of it.
He took himself out because he just didn't think
he could handle that kind of a rejection.
That may be the greatest joke I've heard all year.
That may be the greatest fucking joke I've heard all year, Jonah.
God damn it.
And you'll never be able to retell that because this situation was perfect.
Oh, that was incredible.
I'll just hang around this guy and I'll just...
I'll talk about it.
Every time you hang around Matt, he's bound to bring it up.
Why is Beth so angry when the...
Florian flies.
The two of you.
The fucking
honeymooners these two.
It's great.
I love being around
you guys.
You're like
the sister wives
on my podcast.
Fucking great.
You really are.
You're the sister wives.
Highlighted by
two wonderful performances.
Thank you.
By McDowell,
the aforementioned Malcolm,
and Sarandon,
Chris Sarandon.
He's good in that.
Yeah.
And no mention of Ragsdale.
No mention of Ragsdale.
And then that other weird guy
who always played a weird kid.
When they say Ragsdale
appears unbuilt.
Stephen Jeffries.
Stephen Jeffries.
The kid that won't stop
masturbating in that
Catholic high school movie.
Yes, Heaven Help Us.
Yes.
Fucking great movie.
That guy is crazy.
Let me tell you something.
I went to Catholic school. That movie was true. Jesus. Fucking great movie. That guy is crazy. Let me tell you something. I went to Catholic school.
That movie was true.
Jesus.
There was a guy that always masturbated?
They all, I think.
Or was it you?
If you look around the room and you can't find the masturbator.
No, you're probably masturbating.
Oh, there's so many podcasts combining.
Oh, where are the masturbators?
Where are the masturbators?
Three stars.
He gives it three stars.
Directed by Michael
Dinner.
Very funny.
Evocation of
Catholic high school
life in Brooklyn
circa 1965.
Heaven Help Us
is a great movie.
Yeah, that is good.
Never seen it.
Oh, dude, you gotta
check it out.
Andrew McCarthy
is in it.
Yeah, yeah.
If that sweetens
the pot at all.
Whoa!
Kevin Dillon
is in it
prepping for his master work
His drama
Cause he still talks
Like he's the same guy and everything
Maybe heaven should help us in this scene
He was like kind of an asshole in it
He was like drama
He was totally the same kind of guy
But younger
Character actor Kevin Dillon I saw some movies He was totally the same kind of guy, but younger.
Character actor, Kevin Dillon.
I saw some movies.
Let's talk about some movies that I saw.
I saw The Town.
None of you guys saw The Town?
I haven't seen The Town yet, but I want to see The Town. We've got some nice applause for The Town.
Our frequent guest.
Johnny Hamm.
He's been on twice.
Johnny Hamm.
Hamm's great.
My prediction for Hamm is that he's going to get to play, like, hunky rolls for another 10 years,
and then he'll take a few years off,
and then somewhere in his 50s,
he'll balloon up and do the Alec Baldwin comedy spin.
Because Hamm is really fucking funny.
He's already really funny.
He's really fucking funny,
and a lot of people don't know him as being funny,
and I think he's going to make that turn
later in his career.
Well, I often tell this story
of when the time that he was on this very podcast,
and I had an opportunity to make a joke that was he was on this very podcast and I made it,
I had an opportunity to make a joke that was from my act.
I cheated and dropped in a joke.
We were talking about somehow Philadelphia came up and I said, that's where AIDS was
invented.
And, and, uh, which I believe I say on my new record, hypocritical oath.
And, but then without missing a beat, good old Jon Hamm,
when I said that's where ages have been,
he goes, nuh-uh, that's where it was perfected.
So go back and listen to that one
and be amazed.
Be amazed at how fast he was on that one.
So funny.
That was an amazing...
Did you just start making out with him right then?
I would have.
But he's great in the town.
He's, you know,
unfortunately,
he's the dogged
police officer
who, like,
every time you see him,
he's just barking orders
at everybody.
Right.
And so he doesn't really
have much of a life
like all the other
characters in the movie.
So he won't get, like,
award consideration.
I always feel like
the accents in those are way over the top. Yeah, well, he doesn't do get award consideration. I always feel like the accents in those
are way over the top.
Yeah, well, he doesn't do an accent.
He's like a cop that came in from out of town somewhere.
Wait, so he's not from the town?
They must not like him at all.
I don't think there are any cops.
Hey, we've got to rob a fucking bank.
It's wicked queer, Jeter.
They said they'd drop Jeter in there, too.
Hey, Jeter, you're queer.
There's one neighborhood In the movie
Where there's like
More bank robbers
Come out of the neighborhood
Than anywhere else
That's Charlestown
Yeah Charlestown
And so that's why
You know
He's up at the FBI
Or something
And he's coming into town
To try to
Put an end to it
Or whatever
Cool
But he's good
Looks good yeah
And you know
There's lots of good things in it.
When they do the robbery
with the nuns things on,
nun hats,
nun faces.
I said on Twitter,
I kept hoping,
like, I'm sure the movie is good,
but the billboards make me wish
the movie was about zombie nuns.
Gun-toting zombie nuns.
Didn't they already do that
in Nuns on the Run?
Yeah, Nuns on the Run.
Robbie, oh, was it... Wasn't Eric Idle in that? That'd be a fun thing to cut together do that in Nuns on the Run? Yeah, Nuns on the Run. Robbie, oh, was it?
Wasn't Eric Idle in that?
That'd be a fun thing
to cut together
is scenes from Nuns on the Run
and the town
try to create a new trailer
that makes it look like a comedy.
Hey, listen,
I'm sure that mashup
is already on everyone's mind.
I just remember seeing
boobs in that movie.
In Nuns on the Run?
As a child.
Sweet, sweet nun tits.
Speaking of nun tits.
I had promised these to God. Don't tell anyone. I don't know why I made them Irish be the... Yeah. Speaking of nun tits... I had promised these to God.
Don't tell anyone.
I don't know why I made them Irish all of a sudden.
But that you should have...
Can you do a Lindsay Lohan impression?
Because speaking of nun tits,
you see her tits...
I did.
And her in a nun outfit in machete.
Machete is great.
And her voice...
Great? It's great?
I had fun watching it.
I went to the midnight show and...
You had fun watching it?
Did you be like that gentleman
when we said there's going to be a big monster podcast?
No, no.
I had fun.
That was obviously just sadness coming out of his dick.
It was...
I enjoyed lots of it,
but I just felt, you know,
by the end of it, I'd had enough.
And then when it said,
Machete will be back in Machete again,
or whatever they called it.
Machete Kills again.
Machete Kills. He'll be back in Machete Kills, and then he'll be back in Machete again, or whatever they called it. Machete kills again. Machete kills.
He'll be back in Machete kills.
And then he'll be back in Machete kills again.
I want to see Machete kills and Machete kills again.
But you didn't want to see Machete.
Huh?
You didn't want to see Machete.
But I don't want to see Machete ever again.
I'm sick of the correct way you're pronouncing Machete.
I don't know if you guys are too.
I had to learn something while I was watching that movie.
I learned Machete.
if you guys are too. I don't know.
I had to learn something
while I was watching that movie.
I learned Machete
and I also learned
that it was clear
that Lindsay Lohan
was a complete
fucking mess
and they like
let her just be a mess
in a major motion picture.
It's so funny.
Like come to work tomorrow
and show your tits all day.
I feel like.
Like there's scenes
where she has her tits out
for the whole scene.
But you know what's funny
about that is that like
that's like
why is that surprising?
You're talking about a cocour who's been in prison.
Like, that's not weird.
Like, her tits,
like, really?
Well, she's been in jail
and she's probably
going back to jail.
It's like being surprised.
It's like,
the crazy lady on my street
showed her tits to me.
You know the one
that sleeps in the bushes?
There's a part
where she's passed out
in a crack den
and I feel like
they just rode around it.
They're like, oh shit, wake up. Lizzie's just sleeping in a crack den and I feel like they just rode around it.
Oh shit. Wake up.
Lindsay's just sleeping in this crack den that we just found her in.
Roll it.
Lindsay Lohan.
Lindsay Lohan passed out in a bush. Her name was Samantha Ronson.
Yay!
That is some good no's.
Okay, next
topic.
How are we doing on time Oh good
We have an hour
You're not the host Chris
What
Don't get the listeners excited
Or that guy
I'll feel the same
They'll feel the same
Disappointment they felt
When they realized
Your podcast was $1.99
It's not your fault
By the way That's iTunes It's totally I hope people understand That It's not your fault, by the way. That's iTunes.
I hope people understand that it's not
your fault. I think they do.
I've gotten one person
wrote and sounded kind of mad,
and then when I wrote back, sorry, they wrote back
oh, I'm just joking
around. I'm just jerking off right now.
Yeah. I can't
tweet back right now. I'm jerking off.
We're in the middle of third period theology.
Oh, God.
Yeah, so...
Speaking of Jerkin' Off,
I recommend...
If you're gonna see Catfish,
try not to know anything about Catfish
before you see Catfish.
Done.
But...
But, on the other hand...
On the other hand,
don't feel bad if you don't see Catfish It's not really
It's interesting
It's interesting
It's a movie for our times
And I think maybe now
I don't have to go see the social network
Because it kind of feels like
That was the movie of this generation
I don't know.
I thought the virginity hit was.
I think if we can agree on anything,
it's that Mark Zuckerberg is really
a quirky Michael Cera type character.
That's really what drives him.
I feel like he might be a prophet, genius, and punk.
Don't forget billionaire.
I read that one too.
Yeah, I love David Fincher,
but that just seems like such a stretch
that anyone would care about.
And it's not accurate.
And everyone's saying that it's not really what happened.
Right.
Well, the people at Facebook are saying that.
It's like when you see JFK.
You're aware that a lot of that's made up.
The people at Facebook are saying that.
No, no, no.
We've seen that Zuckerberg is a complete introvert
who doesn't even want to do interviews.
And in the movie, he's played by a complete spaz who seems very up for becoming famous.
They tell somebody else's story.
I feel like he's up for impressing his friends.
Yeah, but I don't think this guy, the real Zuckerberg,
gave a shit about his friends.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know you were leading up to that.
I think it's interesting
that the part of the conceit is
I'm going to start a website so I can fuck some chicks.
Isn't that why any man
has done anything?
Not start a website.
I'm going to wake up this morning
so I can fuck some chicks.
Or dudes if I'm gay.
I'm writing all this code to fuck some chicks.
This JavaScript is is gonna get me
Mad tail
And some angry pussy
What? No that's not the same thing
Not the same thing
Jesus girl you're so angry
Teeth right?
Vagina dentata
What was that? De Palma made a movie Where a woman had teeth in her Vagina dentata Johnny you're gonna
What was that
De Palma made a movie
Where a woman had
Teeth in her
Armpit
Or that wasn't De Palma
Scarface
Yeah that was it
I always get that
Mixed up with Scarface
I got a scar on my face
Because of my arm
Too deep
It bit me in the face
I don't kill no kids man
I got teeth on my armpit
What was that movie With got teeth on my armpit I still want to quote
John Mulaney's comedy album
right now
John Mulaney
You have to get
John Mulaney's album
but he says
It's called The Top Part
Scarface's house
looks like
what would happen
if the Golden Girls
won the lottery
That is one of my
favorite jokes John Mulaney.
God bless him forever.
May God shine his light upon the rest
of his life.
That would be the craziest, shittiest
timing if he died.
Like in the next
couple of days. Or best timing.
Probably worse.
Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, it would be bad.
Depends on your view on timing. He's a vital
young man. So,
one more movie I want to mention, because I saw it last
night. I got to see it under
circumstances that were created by
this very podcast, because
Elizabeth Shue was a guest
a few weeks ago,
and now I have her email address,
and her husband...
It worked.
Yeah, that was the only reason
I wanted her on the show,
was just to get an email address
and jerk off to it.
Just looking at it.
What a thief.
Oh, yeah.
Elizabeth 487926L.
Are you jamming your cock into the at sign?
That's where it would fit.
You could just wrap it.
With rude despair.
Yeah, what?
That was mean to myself.
I'm more into fucking ampersands.
I don't know about you guys.
You got the choice.
Yeah.
Something to hold on to.
You can go to the top or the bottom there.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, that's nice.
You like to start up top
and then bring it home below.
Thanks, Ampersand.
Thanks, Ampersand.
You dirty slut.
I want to make a movie
called The Ampersand Lot
where you just...
It's just a dirt field
where you just...
Ampersand Lot 5.
5.
5.
Yeah, we're going for it.
So her husband, Davis Guggenheim, of the famous Guggenheims,
he did Inconvenient Truth,
and now he has a new movie called Waiting for Superman.
And last night I got to go to the premiere of the movie.
I was high out of my mind at the Paramount lot.
And I didn't know this, but at the beginning of the movie. I was high out of my mind at the Paramount lot and I didn't know this
but at the beginning
of the movie
it was introduced
by Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa
of Los Angeles.
Do you think he saw Machete?
No, but he loves
Waiting for Superman.
He's the mayor of the city
and he loves this movie
that shows how shitty
the educational system is
in the city he's mayor of yeah and um
but he came out at the beginning and introduced the movie but nobody introduced him
so i got i was very racist in my thoughts why is this why is this yes why is the guy from catering
up here talking i don't understand Didn't he park my car recently?
It's horrible.
No, but he gave a nice impassioned speech,
and that was awesome.
They're all very impassioned.
They're very...
He goes, he says...
Oh, yeah.
You're right.
Ballet parkers.
You mean valets, right?
Yes.
They're all quite impassioned.
I am not on board this at all.
One of us has to take the opposite stance here.
It is me.
We're just joking around.
The point is...
He said at the end of his speech, he goes,
this movie,
you know,
you don't have a soul
and you're a fucking piece of shit
or something like that.
I'm paraphrasing.
I will cut you with a machete.
Something like that.
But he said,
you know,
this movie's going to make you cry.
And I was like,
you know,
already going into it
knowing that it's about
educating children. You're already crying. And I was already so sad. you cry and i was like you know already going into it knowing that it's about uh educating
children or not and i was already so sad i even tweeted i'm getting ready to be really depressed
and it is the most heartbreaking like i recommend it to everybody especially if you need a good cry
if you feel like you have to let it out because it's they follow these children around who who
all they want to do is learn and go to a good school.
And the good schools have these lotteries that determine whether kids...
Where they draw like 400 names for 25 spots or something like that.
And they show these kids sitting there at this lottery waiting to find out if they're going to get to go to a good school or not.
But they love the lottery though, right?
Wait, what?
I thought that's what we were talking about.
Right?
The listeners couldn't see your air quotes.
No, it's bueno.
Shit.
So check that movie out.
I will.
And we're back
It's traffic on the ones
Alright
A little bit of a mashup
On the San Bernardino freeway
Yeah but first
We got the fart monster
Coming in
What do you think about
Lindsay Lohan fart monster
We had so much fun
In the morning
Good point
I heard the mayor was at a Lakers game
Thanks Bart Monster
Now it's time for the Leonard Maltin game
We gotta cut that out aren't you
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game
Are you gonna cut that all out
I don't think I am
Bart Monster Well we can't cut it out now that you're asking't you? Let's play the Letter Mom game. Are you going to cut that all out? I don't think I am. Fart Monster?
Well, we can't cut it out now that you're asking about cutting it out.
That's the whole plan.
That was not all of this part.
Well done.
Yeah.
You're a genius, Joe.
Nicely done.
Thank you.
Fart Monster lives on.
Fart Monster just started to sound a little like Tim Allen.
I'm a hundred percent.
I'm disappointed.
That guy behind the fence is dead now.
Yeah.
Think about that, Nick at night.
You guys know how to play the Leonard Maltin game.
I'm going to start with...
Oh, we got to pick contestants.
Almost forgot that part.
Oh, my God, with the signs over here.
Digital name tags up front.
Now, I got to tell Casey and Melody,
you know I'm a dumb stoner who doesn't remember people,
but you guys have won shit already,
and I know it.
Like that suit?
And I do remember it.
Yeah, you can't change your outfits
and make new amazing signs.
But yeah, just so you know,
you'll get shout-outs and stuff like,
oh, Jack has got it on his phone.
That's fancy.
Don't sit in the hot seats next week.
What about that sign with Winnie the Pooh
that says, good things come in bears.
That is a reference to the Yogi Bear thing
I listened to recently that was on your podcast.
Yeah, yeah, TJ Miller had a lot to the Yogi Bear thing I listened to recently that was on your podcast. Yeah, yeah.
TJ Miller had a lot to say about
that slogan for the movie
Yogi Bear.
That's their slogan they came up with.
Good things come in bears?
Sounds like pears.
Sounds like pears.
They went with that instead of
good things jizz all over a bear's face.
They thought that was disrespectful to bears.
Hey, they should be fine.
If I know anything, commercials have taught me that bears use two-ply Charmin, so they'll be fine.
Well, you know, it's just like the last Shrek movie had a McDonald's shake, and it was just like, it's an ogre load.
That was on the billboards for the green milky shake.
Ironically minty.
That's awesome.
It's weird.
It's weird.
It's the warmest shake I've ever had in my life.
You know, the shake...
It's a soup.
I found the shake was hot at first and then got cold really fast.
I found the shake depending on whether or not he had a pineapple.
But I felt just as ashamed
after I just got caught.
It was totally my turn there, Jonah.
You really could have let everybody have a turn.
Let's play the letter ball game.
See, we can cut all that out too now.
I'm not going to though.
There's gold in them lines.
I want to play for Brett because I can't quite
it's no longer showing your name.
So I wanted you to know that.
Good job.
There's Brett. He's got his name on his phone
so Matt wants to play for him.
And who would you like to play for, Jonah?
Looking around. I like the people over in
this area.
Don't forget this area over here, Jonah, looking around? I like the people over in this area. Those are some nice names.
Don't forget this area over here, Jonah.
Official shithead.
Over in here, I like all these people.
This guy winked at me earlier, so I'm going to go with Jay.
All right.
And I'm going to see where the night takes me.
All right, Jay.
So Matt's playing for Brett.
Who was the...
I feel like I should pick someone in the wings over here.
Well, you can.
You can.
It's just that I like that one in the front row there.
Is that a name tag?
I'm going to go with Sean because he's got a pie symbol
on his shirt.
N64 controller?
It says nerd.
There's a pie and then a controller
and then a compass.
Tell us more about it.
I am describing it for your listeners.
To be honest, you look like a guy
that would have stole that from a nerd.
Give me your shirt, nerd.
I gotta go to a nerd show.
I gotta fit in.
It's the only way they're gonna let me in
so I can punch them in the fucking face.
What about your sports hat?
Fuck them.
Nice name tag, Sean.
Now get yourself one, faggot.
If Sean wins, he's going to be walking down the street
with a lot of nerdy shit that some other bully
might come up to him.
It would be like his food bags, nerd.
It would be like his Twilight Zone episode.
Now who's the nerd?
No!
All along it was an entire planet
of nerds.
Okay, let's start with
we'll start with Chris
on the other end down there.
Then we go to Matt and Jonah will
be batting third.
That's clockwise. Deal with it.
Yeah.
Would you like...
Chris, would you like
a movie that's in the internet movie database
bottom 100?
Those are going to be too obscure.
A movie that features Bill Murray
because he was born on this very day.
Happy birthday, Bill Murray. Yes, Bill Murray. I want a Bill Murray because he was born on this very day. Happy birthday, Bill Murray.
Yes, Bill Murray.
I want a Bill Murray movie.
What if the next category is Chris Hardwick movies?
I've got to give you a third category.
Yes, it's Chris Hardwick films.
Terminator 3.
Both of them.
Halloween 2.
The next category...
We're done.
The next category...
Normally what I do is when I've just played
a nice town, I'll make the category
Movies that take place
In that
Where I was
But I was in
Bloomington, Indiana
At the Comedy Attic
Where the only movie
Ever made there
Is Breaking Away
That was my answer
Yeah
One of Jonah's favorite movies
One of my favorite movies
Of all time
So instead
We're gonna do
Boston movies
Yeah
In honor of the town
Yeah
Wicked queer
Steak Gina I don't know They have date ste Yeah, Wicked Queer Steak.
Gina.
They have date steaks there, right?
Wicked Queer Steak?
So which one of those would you like to play? I guess Bill Murray.
I got Bill Murray.
Would you like a Bill Murray movie from
88, 98, or 2008?
These are movies that Bill
Murray makes an appearance in
or stars in, because those are the
two kinds of movies he does. He either stars in a movie or he makes an appearance in or stars in because those are the two kinds of movies he does.
He either stars in a movie or he makes an appearance in a movie.
Let's go 88.
Okay, interesting choice.
Three stars
from Len.
I'm down with that.
Some things he says
about it are he says that it's
raunchy and he
also says that it is he says that it's raunchy and he also says that
it is gorgeously
photographed.
Len is a
ball of contradiction.
You can really, the pussies
glisten in the...
So it's 19...
Wait, what
year did you say?
88. God damn it, that's 98. Oh, I'll just you say? 88.
God damn it, that's 98.
I'll just take the 98 then.
You will?
If you want, sure.
I want you to play to the best of your ability.
And you wanted 88.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I would do better with the 88.
Let's do 88.
Okay, all right. All right!
And if anybody thinks they know what that other one was, try to pick this
category in the next round.
Alright, two stars from Len.
Maybe not so fair
to this 1988
movie. He calls it
funny.
And he
also says the laughs are
mild and widely scattered.
Sounds like a lyric.
So the laugh fairy was really
jumping around all over the place.
Tossing the laughs willy nilly
into wildly distant
places. Sounds like Nick Drake lyrics.
So I can
name that. 14 names.
How many names can you get it in
Chris Hardwick
Let's
You know I feel like
That Bill Murray
Might not have
He could just appear
In the movie right
So he's not necessarily
A star of the movie
That's what I said
Just to make it clear
Alright I'll just
I'll start off
I'll start off with six
Bill Murray is in it
I'll start off with six
Okay
Yeah what do you think Matt I'll start off with six. Bill Murray is in it. I'll start off with six. A little bit.
Yeah, what do you think, Matt?
I'll go five.
Jonah?
I can say, like, Matt, too?
Yeah, you can say, name that movie, Matt.
Name that movie, Matt.
Okay.
All right, you get five names.
Go.
Let's start with Brian Doyle Murray.
Then we go to John Murray.
Then Mabel King.
Alfred Woodard.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
People in the audience know it.
And your fifth name is Michael J. Pollard.
Ooh.
And it's from...
God damn it.
It's from 88.
God damn it, I know this. It's from 88. God damn it. I know this.
It's from 88.
Chris knows it.
I know it.
It's funny
and it's also
do I get to guess
when he doesn't get a laugh?
Wildly scattered.
Wildly scattered.
Any idea, Matt?
I would say Ghostbusters 2
just for the fuck of it.
All right.
That's a guess.
I don't know my reason for that.
And Chris, what is it really?
It's Scrooged.
It's Scrooged.
Yeah.
It is Scrooged.
I should have known that.
Yes. With Nicholas Phillips,
Robert Mitchum,
Carol Kane.
David Johansson has,
in parentheses,
after David Johansson,
Buster Poindexter.
Like his alter ego
starred in the movie also.
Bob Goldthwait,
not Bobcat, Bob.
John Glover,
John Forsythe,
Karen Allen,
Bill Murray.
I kind of like that movie.
I enjoyed it.
It's not good
No I thought
It's a fun movie though
It's enjoyable
It's an enjoyable movie
There's something enjoyable
When you're out of turkeys
You look up the A&P
You open the phone book
And look under A
If it's not there
You look under P
These are big girls
Very big girls
In fact
They should know
How to figure this out
The point goes to Jonah
What?
I just quoted
And we start With Chris Hardwick I got the point for that to figure this out. The point goes to Jonah. What? I just quoted.
And we start with Chris Hardwick.
Hey, liable.
I got the point for that.
Would you like the category?
Huh?
I answered the movie.
I answered it correctly.
Yeah, but Jonah said
name that movie
and Matt couldn't.
Motherfuckbag.
Oh, all right.
Got to play with the house, Chris.
All right.
House wins.
Maybe you have to do
some bolder bidding.
Okay.
All right, we're starting with you. Minus two names. You could do that. You got to to do some bolder bidding. Okay.
Minus two names!
You could do that.
You gotta name them in the right order.
Do you want to do Leonard Maltin's bombs?
Or Len's bombs?
These are movies that Leonard's given the bomb designation?
No. No.
But the next time he's on the show, I'm going to point that out to him
that bomb is a good thing now.
Oh, alright. I'll just say movies that out to him that bomb is a good thing now. Oh, all right.
I'll just say movies that are bad.
No, that also means.
Or we'll talk about it.
Yeah.
All those words.
Don't negative things mean negative things anymore?
This movie's for dopes.
Joyless.
Okay.
So Leonard's bombs.
It's also Stephen King's birthday.
So let's do Stephen King adaptations of either his novels, novellas,
or dumb sentences.
There are very few Stephen King films
that adapt well to film.
I mean, Stephen King novels adapt well to film.
And your third category is,
I call it vermin,
because all these movies have rats or mice in them.
So rats and mice, Stephen King, what's the difference?
And Leonard Maltin's Bombs.
Which one would you like, Chris?
You know, the Stephen King one might be hard
because there's so many obscure...
I love how you talk us through it.
It could be Maximum Overdrive, it could be The Stand.
Let's Ah fuck it
Let's do Stephen King movies
Okay
It's his birthday
It's his birthday
Alright
I'll try to get the years right this time
From 1980
83
Or 86
Is me picking
Yes
Let's go
1980
Okay
This movie got two stars from Leonard Maltin.
The laughs were widely scattered.
The laughs were widely scattered.
He says that it's about a man.
And he also says, I don't want to say anything that gives it away.
Oh, it goes on forever.
It's about a man And it goes on forever
And there are
Seven names
1980
Stephen King adaptation
Start the bidding
Chris Hardwick
Seven names
Name that movie, Chris Hardwick
Are you serious? Yeah he just gave it to him
anybody could name it in seven names what i don't think that's how this works
i feel like do you really mean that i feel like he's not going to go when i tell him six out of
seven names but here's my strategy okay listen, watch how your strategy works. I don't know it.
Chris, the last name, the top
billed person in this movie is Jack Nicholson.
That would
probably have to be The Shining. It might be
The Shining. What is wrong with you?
In the history of this
game, the dumbest players who have ever
played have never said, I want
you to name it with all the names.
I wanted to be the it with all the names.
I wanted to be the first one to do that.
Alright, Chris has a point.
We start with Jonah.
A well-earned point
if I do say so myself.
Basically, the other team just didn't show
up. I got the forfeit point. That was insane.
Okay.
Here are the actors' names. It's the
Shining Guess Here's my strategy
He could have got it
I felt like
He could have got it
It's Scatman Crothers
Yeah I would have
I would have got it
I felt like with six names
I wouldn't have gotten it
So I was going to lose
The point either way
But if you would have said six
He wouldn't have said
Name that movie
Because you would have gotten
Shelly fucking Duvall.
Then I probably could have named it.
I would have known it as Scatman Crothers.
The seventh name is Hedge Maze.
I loved his work, Ted Hedge Maze.
Guys, Hedge Maze. Really not formay's. Guys, hegemony.
Really not for a while.
Okay, so Jonah, pick a category.
Would you like, we'll go back to Bill Murray or Vermin,
or this was sent in by Daydreamerboy on Twitter,
at Daydreamerboy.
Oh, whatever it is, no.
Actors Direct is the category he suggested.
Let's do Mice and Rats and Vermin.
Vermin, okay. Would you like a
Vermin movie from 71,
from 83, or
2003?
83. Okay.
Ah, shit.
There's just so many cheap, shitty
Vermin. Two stars from Len!
Does he give another rating,
by the way? He does, but I know how to pick him
This movie was robbed by
Leonard Malt needs to give this another
Next time I see him
I'm going to talk to him
Okay first of all
This movie is
Slightly better than the simultaneously
Released At the same time Another rat themed movie came out this movie is slightly better than the simultaneously released
at the same time
another rat themed movie
came out.
So this is one of the two
1983 rat movies.
And your other clue is
that it takes place in New York City.
Oh, it's rats a-poppin'.
And there are six names.
Start the bidding, Jonah Ray.
Four.
Four names.
Chris Hardwick.
Yes.
Talking out of my ass.
I don't know. I say name that movie, Jonah Ray. Here we go. Four names. Chris Hardwick. Are you kidding? Yes. Talking out of my ass. I don't know. I say
name that movie. Here we go.
Four names. Shannon Tweed was in this movie.
The great Shannon
Tweed.
Louis Del Grande.
Or Grand.
Kenneth Walsh.
And Lawrence Dane.
Sweet point coming. And it's not as good as the other one right it's not as good no i really
thought i knew it no i'll tell you the other one the other one's called deadly eyes of course
i'll even tell you another name jennifer dale because i don't know who that is
i really with all confidence was going to answer Ben.
Seriously, everybody check this out and let me know if it's... I think it's an awesome movie
but maybe I'm just remembering it wrong
or I was in the right frame of mind when I saw it
when I was a kid.
No.
I'll read the last.
The last name is Peter Weller.
Does anybody know it?
It's not RoboCop.
It's called Of Unknown Origin.
And it was directed by the guy who went on to direct Rambo 2.
And it's a horror movie about a guy who there's like a rat in the walls of his house.
And he demolishes his entire house trying to catch this fucking rat.
It's really, I like it a lot.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah.
So check it out,
and Chris Hardwick is our winner,
ladies and gentlemen.
Yes!
All right, Jay.
I really was hoping it was going to be
Secret of Nim.
I was going to be Secret of Nim,
and everyone's going to be like,
oh, I love that movie.
Okay.
I've got one minute to do a lot of business,
so let me get through this, please.
Sean, you won some amazing prizes brought
by our guests. You got
Chris Hardwick brought a...
No, I'm going to say Chris brought it.
But I found
the funny thing. Yeah, but
I got to roll through this.
Is TJ Miller...
Is he wearing your skin?
Because right after I told him
I was in a hurry,
he would not stop talking.
But anyway,
Chris Hardwick brought this.
Jonah Ray brought in,
it's a double feature,
I don't know why you want credit for this,
of Back to the Beach
with Frankie and Annette
along with Brain Candy
by Kids in the Hall
on a double feature on one thing finally someone put those movies
together he also brought a copy of black dynamite which is very funny one of the best comedies in
10 years and then from matt myra we have a copy of silk stocking season one and doctor who activity
collection all the activities have been done by him already though
Matt already did all the activities
The colors outside the lines
They're real good
And a copy of
This is from Chris right?
Yeah
This is Tiny Acts of Rebellion
A book by our friend Rich Fulcher
Signed by Rich Fulcher
From Mighty Boosh
He's awesome
Because I had two copies so
I should have him on the show sometime
And then
I could just do Rich's voice for you then
And a G4 American Ninja Warrior
t-shirt.
Yeah.
It's a large.
You wear a large, Sean?
All right.
It'll go good
with your name tag.
Because you have to
wear your name tag
for the rest of your life.
That's the rule.
And then
another shirt.
What's this shirt?
Oh, that's
my friend Alex
Partiga.
That's me.
It says
full on double Rambo.
Double Rambo. But it's a small shirt. This is small so that's me. It says, full on double Rambo. Double Rambo.
But it's a small,
it's a small shirt.
This is a small,
so that's going to look
really good on Sean.
Yeah.
And then finally,
we've got
my shit that I always bring,
Professional Humoridian
and Hypocritical Oath
still available.
That's some good swag.
That's a good bag of swag there.
Have you seen Black Dynamite?
Congratulations, Sean.
Here, pass this down to him.
And now tell us your plugs, you guys. Do you have any specific plugs?
You can follow me on Twitter.
Matt Myra.
M-I-R-A.
It's not Miro.
I have a
monthly show at Meltdown Comics
called Jonah Ray's Meltdown. The next show is this
Friday with Kumail Nanjiani, The Sklars.
We're going to show some unaired
lasagna cats by Fatal Farm.
So it's $8 to get in
and it's free beer all night until it
runs out. I will be performing
in Fort Lauderdale, Florida at the Improv
Thursday the 23rd through Saturday
the 25th and then October 1st and 2nd I will
be at the Arlington Draft Cinema in Arlington,
Virginia near Washington
D.C.
That place is cool.
Yeah, I hear it's amazing.
Yeah, check out the... And then the Nerdist Podcast
people should listen to.
Oh, yeah, it's us.
If they have time,
listen to the Nerdist Podcast.
Yeah, give it a listen.
40 episodes.
Almost 40 episodes to choose from.
Yeah, 30 episodes deep.
37, 37.
Yeah, 37.
Thanks again to my guests,
the Nerdist Podcast, everybody.
Thanks for having us, Doug Banks.
Thanks, Doug.
Hey.
And, as always, Dr. Thanks for having us, Doug. Thanks, Doug. And as always,
Dr. Phil is a shithead
and Matt Mira is a shithead.
Hey!
Now it's time for Doug
to watch another talkie.
Eyes unrolled,
his viewing prowess
makes him cocky.
There's no room
in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.