Doug Loves Movies - Chris Porter, Matt Fernandez and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: November 3, 2015

Live from the Tampa Improv, Doug welcomes comics Chris Porter, Matt Fernandez and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Our good friends over at Squarespace, the easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store for you and your ideas. Squarespace features an elegant interface, beautiful templates, and incredible 24-7 customer support. Start building your website today at squarespace.com, enter the offer code Doug at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Hey everybody, producer Ryan here.
Starting point is 00:00:35 After the audio issues with last year's show in Tampa, we decided to give them another try this year. And unfortunately, the audio quality is not up to our standards here at DLMHQ. So apologies in advance. The levels are off. There's a slight buzz throughout. But I wanted to give you the opportunity to listen if that kind of thing doesn't bother you. The audio does get a little better about 15 minutes into the episode, if you can make it that far.
Starting point is 00:01:00 And fortunately, we're taping a new episode in Hollywood tomorrow night. So there should be a new Doug Loves Movies with decent sound up sometime on Wednesday. That said, if the audio quality isn't a big deal to you, please enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds, with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth, there's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is my love for movies.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Coming to you once... Somebody was still talking. Somebody added more words to that. Coming to you once again for the second time, and hopefully a complete time, hopefully the whole time, from the Improv in Tampa, Florida! You guys did it.
Starting point is 00:02:17 It's Saturday, October 31st, 2015. Let me see your name tags. And or costumes. Some people have see your name tags and or costumes. Some people have costumes and name tags. There's an incredible right there with an incredible costume and a name tag. Dinner with Adam instead of dinner with Schmucks. But what's your costume? Zach Galifianakis when he's like a
Starting point is 00:02:45 hypnotist in that movie or something? A mentalist and he wears a cape? You're nailing it, dude. That's amazing. We got a, what's your first name? Carolyn in black instead of men in black and she's got the whole outfit and a neuralyzer that I'm hoping doubles as a pot smoking device. No such luck? Wow there's a lot you guys are really into light-up signs here you really have a lot of extra
Starting point is 00:03:16 electrical flair here in Florida. Well good job to all of you just go that's a big one over there I can't even see what's behind him. Could barely make that one out. Is that like a Saving Private Ryan poster? Oh, no. No country for old men. And you changed it to no candy for old men? That's a terrific message for Halloween.
Starting point is 00:03:51 I'm going to write that down real quick. Alright. I got to do some plugs. Tuesday, Douglas Movies returns to Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California. Hollywood, California, not Hollywood, Florida. I wouldn't go there for any reason. Wednesday night I go to Fort Lauderdale.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Wednesday night, November 4th at Cinefamily in LA. I am hosting the Benson movie Interruption of Hancock. Yeah. I wish you guys could be there. And then next weekend I'm doing a couple of sets, one indoor and one outdoor
Starting point is 00:04:28 at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas Nashville, Houston, New York City, Raleigh San Francisco, Seattle Doug Loves Movies is coming to all those cities go to DougLovesMovies.com that's DougLovesMovies.com I got a bag
Starting point is 00:04:44 full of prizes that I traveled all this way with, so they're not too fancy. They're fancy enough, plus the guests all brought stuff. You get a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. I believe it's like a double XL. So if a lady wins, she can wear it to bed. Or a man could wear it to bed. Anybody can wear it to bed. What you wear to bed is your biz. A t-shirt from my friends over at the Tuesday Snacks podcast. I don't even know what's going on there. Fucking weird little grape-eating weirdo.
Starting point is 00:05:21 And then I brought it from California. Somebody gets a schmovie. There it is in all of its glory. This is the smaller version. I used to carry around an even bigger version than that. And then, oh, this is a cool thing somebody gave me. It's a patch. I just don't put patches on anything.
Starting point is 00:05:43 But it's greetings from Jamaica when I went on the 311 cruise last February. What is this? This is a weird little hand somebody gave me. Whatever the last city I was in, it was like, here's something for you to have. Weird little rubber hand.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Oh, and I brought some hemp wick, which is a fun way to uh you light that then you light your bowl or whatever with that instead of using a butane lighter which is apparently is very bad for you and is probably why i have an awful hacking cough and finally she's here in town tonight she's not going to be on this show I don't know why people were getting their hopes up that I somehow had fucking access to T Swizzle I could get her to show up here when she's probably doing a soundcheck in a stadium right now but I did bring from her world tour one of the I don't even know what to call this it's got like it's like a bunch of pictures inside. It's like an album, but it's just pictures.
Starting point is 00:06:47 But it's commemorative of this particular tour. Is anybody going to see her tonight? You are? All right. Well, maybe I'll see you there. Somebody's going to win all that stuff, plus a little bit more. Please give a big, warm welcome to three hilarious dudes who've all been on the show before. Matt Fernandez,
Starting point is 00:07:08 Chris Porter, and Jeff Tate! Thank you! What up? Hey, guys. I love that the stage allows for people to just lay out their name tags. There's some good ones. You guys are getting a preview of the name tags that are up front anyway.
Starting point is 00:07:43 But there's a lot of good ones that you guys are going to have to choose from tonight let's hear it first for matt fernandez everybody local local phenom of of comedy here in florida in this region yeah you're a phenom he's overselling it people around here love you that's true if they see you they love you uh and they see you, they love you. You were on my show the other night. We played Last Man Stanton. We had a lovely time. Very fun. Thanks for coming back.
Starting point is 00:08:17 And of course, you were in the episode where we did here where 20 minutes were lost when they plugged in the Ybor City Christmas tree. And it caused a power surge. Ruined Christmas forever. And it caused a power surge. Ruined Christmas forever. Totally ruined. It was last November. Which is about Christmas tree lighting time. So I think we're safe today. Unless they have a Halloween tree out there that we
Starting point is 00:08:35 don't know about that they're lighting on the day of. And what did you bring for the prize bag, Matt? I brought a bunch of stuff. One of my buddies is a comedian. He made a documentary. It's called The Comeback comeback of cannabis it's all about uh the weed legalization in colorado nice yeah i got a shirt to go with that too it's got a giant pot leaf on it perfect my buddy uh he runs a t-shirt printing business in charlotte called ink floyd he made me a shirt that has a picture of matthew mcconaughey on it with bloodshot eyes and it says Matthew McCinda high.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Pass those down for the bag and give a round of applause to Chris Porter, everybody. What up? Headlining all weekend here at the Ybor City Improv. And not a better weekend to do it than Halloween. Yeah, that's got to be an interesting show tonight. Absolutely. I knew I'd be in good shape with a 4.30 in the afternoon start time because you guys, you can all still go to parties after this or you could just go home.
Starting point is 00:09:43 Say, fuck it. I'm done for the night. I'm going to neuralize myself and go to parties after this or you could just go home say fuck it i'm done for the night i'm i'm gonna neuralize myself and go to sleep uh so yeah so uh nine o'clock tonight you guys if you're still in the area come back and see chris porter i watched his show one of these nights that i've been here and uh he's a hilarious dude and And you have a special on Netflix. I do. And I brought a vinyl copy of it. Yeah. And the vinyl is... Yeah, I love watching things on vinyl.
Starting point is 00:10:12 That's the purest way to watch things. It looks the best on vinyl. And it comes with a digital download card. There you go. And it's called Ugly and Angry. Yeah. go. And it's called Ugly and Angry. Yeah. Yeah. And that's your former hairstyle on the album cover.
Starting point is 00:10:29 That is my former hairstyle. Some call it a Jewfro. Who are these people on the back? That's my family. Those are the racists yelling out Jewfro. That's, yeah, I thought I'd be cool and put my family on the back And you would have thought I'd kick my sister in the dick Because she did not like that picture
Starting point is 00:10:50 We'll pass it on over here and we'll throw it in the bag It's the same size as the Tyler Swift thing There you go Tyler Swift Tyler Swift, is that what I said? He's my favorite. That's the transsexual knockoff. Or that's what she calls herself when she probably dresses up as a man on Halloween.
Starting point is 00:11:16 A little fake mustache and she's like, oh shit, shake it off. And Jeff Tate's here you guys hello hi everybody halloween is always very startling to me because i forget about it and then just walking up here scared the shit out of me that guy dressed like Just walking up here scared the shit out of me. That guy dressed like Matrix, right? No, not Matrix? Oh, yeah, that's never good. The Terminator?
Starting point is 00:11:51 Oh, okay. You're dressed like a fucking school shooter. And then I have to look around and I'm scared, but there's fucking Iron Man's over here, so I think we'll be okay. Yeah, one of the Incredibles are over here. They could help. Is that what he is, be okay. Yeah, one of the Incredibles are over here. They could help. Is that what he is, the Incredible?
Starting point is 00:12:06 Yeah. He's the Incredible. It's funny because he's so skinny. It's like you're the little boy grown up. You're not the dad. You're not fat enough to be Craig T. Nelson. What'd you bring for the bag, Jeff? I brought the novelization of Men in Black 2.
Starting point is 00:12:28 She wants it so bad. Yeah? Yeah, Carolyn in black wants to win. Oh, you're dressed up like a Men in Black person. Yeah. Okay. That's a weird way to say it. You're dressed like a Men in Black person.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I just thought you might be blind or something. I'm sorry. You could take the shades off though now. Or do you like wearing them indoors like that? And they're over other glasses. It's like you're at a 3D movie. Don't you hate that? When you're at a 3D movie,
Starting point is 00:13:02 you have to put their dumb glasses over your dumb glasses. You take those sunglasses off and now you're just dressed like Paula Poundstone. I also have Die Hard with a Vengeance on DVD and Blu-ray. Very small clap for that one. It's true. They're both in there.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Jeff Tate is no liar. Is that why... How come that got a bigger response? Because they didn't believe me? They were like, sure. Thanks for the case. Your neuralyzer just looks like you have a dildo on your table.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Wait, is that a real neuralyzer just looks like you have a dildo on your table Wait is that a real neuralyzer? Yes it's a real one Jeff How specific could it be? Could you just take out like most of the 2000s? Leave me the last couple weeks But everything before that can go They never do an explain in those movies How much of their memory's gone. Do they take away a month from those people
Starting point is 00:14:07 or just what they just saw? It has a dial on it? And they always adjust it? They always seem to whip it out and just shoot them real fast. I'm sure there's a quick setting. Yeah. I'm sure there is. Well, you have to set it up first.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It's like that Domino's pizza chris writes men in black fan fiction i guess tommy lee jones is like most of our run-ins most of our run-ins with aliens last about 15 minutes so we'll put it on a 15 minute setting and we'll adjust accordingly that is an awesome big lebowski john Goodman costume over there by the way I don't know what's going on with the guy sitting next to him but I hope his name's Donnie and you tell him to shut the fuck up Lonnie, Donnie Donnie, he was out of his element
Starting point is 00:14:57 that's right okay so thank you everyone for being here. And it's kind of interesting doing a show on Halloween because in the past we've done them, but as the years go by, I realize that if we just sit and talk about scary movies and Halloween stuff,
Starting point is 00:15:19 everyone that's listening to this is going to hear it tomorrow and it will no longer be Halloween and people will be trying to move is going to hear it tomorrow. And it will no longer be Halloween. People will be trying to move on to whatever with their lives. So even though this is the Halloween show, I'm not going to emphasize Halloween too much. Seem reasonable? You guys are like, why are you even discussing this with us? Just do your goddamn show. So Matt matt what was the last movie you saw
Starting point is 00:15:49 oh i went to the movies last week and then saw crimson peak and it don't see it ever now why do you say that because it was boring or disgusting or a combination of the two boring and predictable and all just full of white people some people yeah i know i'm i feel the same way i'm so white i don't want to see it on the screen i want to see other people depicted but yeah they are very pale i guess maybe everyone that was your joke is how pale they are the 1800s there's no sun Yeah. But people out there loved it, right? Yeah. See, there's a guy right there. Look at him. He's a nice, normal person.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Not really, says his wife. Who are you? Who's she? You don't know her? My wife! It's like pulling teeth to get that one going. How's the balcony doing?
Starting point is 00:16:50 There's even a guy with a name tag up there. Or gal. I can't see. The lights are in my eyes. Hey, lady. Hey, lady guy. You know, walking down the streets out here, 7th Street or whatever,
Starting point is 00:17:04 you don't know what anybody is you gotta really stare at people you know like when i'm staring at some girl's butt she's like what are you looking at just trying to discern if you're a man or not trying to figure out how uncomfortable this boner should make me. No one likes an uncomfortable boner. They're the worst kind. Alright, well, so big thumbs down on Crimson Peak
Starting point is 00:17:34 from Matt. Are you a big fan of Guillermo del Toro in general? Hellboy was okay. Pacific Rim? Hellboy 2? He should write comic books. He shouldn't make movies. Wow, it's great that the mics are taking turn going out.
Starting point is 00:17:52 They're all cutting out when we try to speak into them. Chris, what was the last movie you saw? I saw The Walk. See, there goes his mic. What's up with the mics, you guys? Can we have all volume all the time? I saw the... This is weird.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Answer the question, Senator. This is like... It's like a press conference all of a sudden. I feel like I'm being initiated into a frat. Wait, what frat has microphones? No, no. In my scenario, they were dicks. They're dicks.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Yeah. Well, how badly do you want to be in the talking to these dicks if you want to be a frat member this is when i left this is when i was like i don't want to be a sig ep um yeah i saw the walk which you know hurry up and see it in the theater because otherwise there's no fucking point there's no reason to watch it on your phone. Yeah, because it was just, I just wanted to, I'm super scared of heights,
Starting point is 00:18:50 so I thought that would be a good way to just, because I don't really dig horror movies, that's my version of just being scared shitless would be stranded on a wire in between the fucking World Trade Center tower. So I watched that in the 3d and the visuals were great but why fucking as a movie it was stupid just because jgl's up on the fucking statueue of Liberty fucking narrating shit. Those scenes are weird.
Starting point is 00:19:25 That you could have covered with some context and two lines of dialogue. But no, he's up there going, and then this happened. Hello, I am French. Oh, and that fucking accent. We gave you this statue I'm standing in that no one has attacked yet.
Starting point is 00:19:42 It's weird. It's just, the whole experience is very strange. Like, the visuals are amazing. And, like, if you see it in IMAX 3D, it's, like, it's pretty trippy. Like, you know, the height situation. But his character is so confident in tightrope walking. And it happened in history. He did not fall off.
Starting point is 00:20:05 You know? So the whole thing is like, the suspense is more like, how much more queasy am I going to get over this guy's perfectly safe walk between the towers? You know, why do I have to feel so much agita? And then at the end, you're like,
Starting point is 00:20:20 man, the cops need to shut the fuck up, man. Not to blow it, but... Oh, because the cops are dicks at the end,'re like man the cops need to shut the fuck up man not to blow it but oh because the cops are dicks at the end you mean that's the big climax the cops are on both ends sorry to fuck up the end but fucking spoiler alert shocker cops are assholes yeah so yeah and they're all just screaming at this guy with the animal head on did the earmuffs like I'm not hearing you, but he covered his real ears and not his animal head ears. Did he try to make the Statue of Liberty walk
Starting point is 00:21:00 like at the end of Ghostbusters 2? Wait, what do you mean try? That happened. Oh, so there is a reason to see the walk. No, there's a reason to see Ghostbusters 2. Yeah. It really happened in Ghostbusters 2, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Oh, were you watching? I thought you were talking about the walk. Yeah, I think we were and then he made a joke about Ghostbusters and then we were off into Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah, yeah., and then he made a joke about Ghostbusters, and then we were off into Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called tangential. Wow. That sounds like a religion that would make my mom nervous.
Starting point is 00:21:40 What about you, Jeff? Have you been to the cinema lately? I have not been to the cinema because the last movie I saw was Bone Tomahawk and that is not out except for New York or LA and it's on Amazon no it's fucking super dope it's Kurt Russell it's on Amazon
Starting point is 00:21:55 that's what I'm gonna start calling my deal he watched it on Amazon okay I just wanted to make that point clear because now you're gonna tell people that they should watch this movie. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, watch the movie. This is going great. Can we talk about this fucking The Walk for 20 minutes?
Starting point is 00:22:15 And everyone knows that guy didn't die. I'm not going to tell you what happens in Bone Tomahawk. But I will tell you cannibalistic cave dwellers. You've told us a lot with those two words it's super violent or three areas and kurt russell's in it with his cool tombstone mustache and then it's just gonna be his hateful eight mustache right yeah man he's his kurt russell and his mustache having a big year it's just so weird that there's so few Westerns and Kurt Russells in two that are being released within weeks of each other,
Starting point is 00:22:49 or months, I should say. But I'll see Kurt Russell in anything. He's solid. I met him once, and he dresses like that all the time. He's a real dandy? No, he was wearing a cowboy hat and boots. I mean, we were in Aspen, so everybody was, but still. You're describing how you were dressed also.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I saw Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn at a grocery store in Aspen once. Yeah. And I just yelled, the hell's coming with me? And then my brother started laughing real hard, and we had to run away. Wait, you were in Aspen and saw them? Yep. So they just lived there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:24 So that's why you both are running into them in Aspen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. They just welcome you as you drive in. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they're greeters? They're Aspen greeters? They just hang out at the front? We're Goldie and Kurt. Welcome to our wonderful land. Goldie comes out of a
Starting point is 00:23:39 wall. Like laughing up here. Damn, you went deep on that son well i thought i would just what was the first thing goldie hawn ever did i'll explain it she was great on laughing with it where they write all the words on it all over her body sock sock it to me and stuff like that maybe not on her but they should bring that back they've tried to bring laughing? Maybe not on her, but they should bring that back. They've tried to bring laughing back. Definitely not on her. Didn't really fly.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Not now. It's too late. Not even Kate at this point, probably. So don't see Crimson Peak. See the walk if it's on a really big screen and you're not afraid of heights or if you want to conquer your fear of heights and see Bone Tomahawk right after you've had a nice meal on on amazon don't eat first that just sounds like something a frat guy would call a blow job like i gave her the old bone tomahawk like hey you sure do know a lot
Starting point is 00:24:39 about frats for a guy who didn't want to go through the initiation. He did a lot of research and then decided it wasn't for him. Before we came up here, I chose a theme. Yeah? I was a prat guy. That's smart. A lot of people don't do that. A lot of people don't figure out something that they can drag through the mud for the entire show. You know, our fraternity system is one of the best in the world
Starting point is 00:25:09 just to say the other point of view if there is such a thing who likes fraternities none of us that's right douchebag I didn't give him much time to answer didn't let you guys think about it but nobody at least went, I love him! It's a Saturday. Everybody that likes fraternities is watching college football on some BW3 somewhere being fucking boring. Which is weird, because there is one right down the street.
Starting point is 00:25:35 I mean, it's great. You guys should eat there. Or there's somewhere... Do I have to be nice about it? It is Halloween, Jeff, so let's be fair to these former frat guys. They're probably just getting their roofies in order for tonight. Trying to relive the glory days.
Starting point is 00:25:53 They're called Cosby Mints now. Yes. Never not drag Cosby's name into it when you're discussing roofying somebody. It's the legacy that he deserves. Hey man you got your pudding pops? God damn right I do. Let's hit the bars. It just occurred to me that it never it never occurred to me that the story involved Cosby going to bars and now that just that idea itself is fun the frat guy okay i think i misread that you guys are having trouble following each other today
Starting point is 00:26:31 welcome to another episode of high and not high uh these two gentlemen to my left so i'm the highest. There to my right are... Oh, I saw a movie. I've seen a lot of movies, actually. I've been really cramming to get in 365 by the end of the year, and I still have to see over 100 movies to get it done. Yeah, wish me luck. If I see two or more a day, I might get there. And so today I saw Truth with Cate Blanchett and Robert Redford
Starting point is 00:27:12 and a bunch of other actors I like. Topher Grace is in there. And they're all reenacting Dan Rather getting what led to his having to step down as the evening news guy on CBS. And Redford, as Dan Rather, at first you're like, well, that's one famous guy playing another famous guy. Is that going to work? But then I was just like, after a few minutes,
Starting point is 00:27:36 I was just blown away by how Rather like Redford was, but you're still looking at Robert Redford. You know that's him. Hey, shake it off. You still know. I think the home listeners are going to hear that huge clunk that just happened. And they're just going to think I'm losing my mind talking about the truth. It's just called truth.
Starting point is 00:28:04 But Redford's great in it, and it's also just, it's a really interesting story because, you know, it's kind of like all the president's men kind of thing, but if everyone turned out to not believe Deep Throat
Starting point is 00:28:18 and Richard Nixon got to continue to rule the land with an iron fist, that doesn't happen at the end of this one. Is Topher Grace, is that his real name? Or is it Christopher and he's just being a dick? Okay, first of all, he's a friend of mine, Christopher Porter. And, no, he's, I don't know, I forget.
Starting point is 00:28:43 I asked him, I think I've talked to him about that very thing. I cannot tell you the answer. Oh, okay. It's just a shorter version of that name. But it's not Christopher. He didn't just be like, everyone's Chris. I'm going to be Topher.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Like, I'm going to take the end one. Well, he might have not had that sort of attitude about it. There's a chance he was just like you know what everyone's name is chris already he's not really a friend of mine either though actually he's been on the show before but yeah he's he seems like he's a very very nice fellow and i i think we talked about it maybe we did i don't know i just i've always liked it because it just sets them apart. If you start talking about, hey, what about that guy Topher? No one's like, which Topher are you referring to? For some reason, he got it pretty exclusively.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Are there any other Topher's you've ever even heard of? Topher Porter. Yeah, there you go. Be the other Topher. Yeah, get some of that tofer grace there are enough reporters i should probably go tofer yeah why not there's there's a yeah fuck it indeed because it's a part of the show where i said what's happening wouldn't it be funny if i just after now i just started going by Topher like this was the turning point? I kind of think it should be.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Or do like they do in the movie credits. You see it all the time where the nicknames are in there. So be Chris. Curtis 50 Cent Jackson. And then in parentheses and in quotes, Topher Porter. That would be hilarious.
Starting point is 00:30:24 It just has half your name in quotes. Topher Porter. That would be hilarious. It's like an echo. It just has half your name in quotes. I know. Yeah, I'm going to start going by Doug and then in quotes LAS Benson. We can all do it, Matthew. Matthew Thieu. Matt Thieu. That's cute. I like that. That's adorable. I like that, Thieu Matt Thieu That's cute, I like that, that's adorable
Starting point is 00:30:46 I like that, Thieu And Jeff Re Yes Jeff is short for Jeffium It's what? It's short for Jeffium? No, that's a joke It's Jeff-tifer
Starting point is 00:31:01 So it'd be Jeff Jeff-to-fer. Jeff-to-fer. Tate. Tate. I like it. All right, is that settled? Well crafted. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Thank you. Moving on. Let the games begin! Gentlemen. Are you stretching? I need you. He's getting ready to go grab a name tag because each of you are going to go select a name tag that you would like to play for there's even some up in the balcony
Starting point is 00:31:35 and just physically grab the one you want to play for and bring it back to your seat Jeff's working the room he's going to go deep go as deep as you have to although there are bring it back to your seat. Jeff's work in the room is going to go deep. Go as deep as you have to, although there are a lot of good ones up front. They got here early. There's no ad in this show, so I'm just going to talk us through this part. There's a guy over there with one of the tiniest name tags I've ever seen. It's just his work ID.
Starting point is 00:32:05 It's your work ID or something? Ex-worker ID. I like it. Oh, it looks like Christopher got something musical. Did you get something, Matt? Oh, there it is. Okay. I couldn't see it over there.
Starting point is 00:32:22 And Jeff's got a real good one I'm excited about all of these all right so Jeff is we're gonna have to talk about Jeff's first because he decided that now is the time to do that he's putting his face through a door and it says the Shannon yeah the Shannon it Yeah, the Shannon. It's like that. It's from that movie, The Shining. Yeah, but why wouldn't it say here's Shannon? Oh, the Shannon, the Shining. I get it.
Starting point is 00:32:53 That works too. Shannon feels bad right now. I thought I understood it. Now I'm a little confused. This is from the end when Jack Nicholson is like... Yeah, there's no reason to spoil it. I'm Johnny Carson, remember? Yeah, he says...
Starting point is 00:33:08 Hey! He says, here's... I'm Johnny Carson. Here's Johnny is the phrase. Here's Johnny Carson. Just Johnny. Just Johnny. Ah, just Johnny.
Starting point is 00:33:22 I wonder how... Isn't that weird if you're Johnny Carson and there's a scene in a movie where a guy's trying to kill his wife with an axe and he's referencing you? That'd be strange. Yeah, Johnny Carson was probably at home going, I don't use weapons. Just my hands.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Bare hands. I think that, oh, that was a good wife abuse joke? Is that what you're doing? No, that was a reference to the fact that Johnny Carson is just using his hands. No, not that he's dead. Really? That's what that was? A reference to how he uses his hands.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Does that make any sense at all? Johnny Carson hit women. Allegedly. Right. And then when I just said, is that an abuse joke? Then you say, no, it isn't. Are you okay today? What the fuck is going on with you?
Starting point is 00:34:07 Answer the question. Yeah, it's not a joke about abuse. It's a joke about Johnny Carson being abusive. I don't want to... All right, I'm glad we cleared that up. But great name tag, Shannon. And great choice,ff jeff to for christopher uh i i got a bit bamboozled i'm gonna be honest with it uh i chose it based on the movie
Starting point is 00:34:38 this is one of my favorites the band the last waltz martin scorsese directed it uh and martin and uh robbie robertson wrote it while they were fucked up on cocaine they wrote it in like three days over a bender and it's for scott waltz and from a distance it looked really cool and then as you got closer you realize he didn't even tape the shit on it's just a piece of paper he was just holding it like that and a guitar and then i grabbed it and then for the listeners the guitar is the important part i came up here and you guys signs seem a little more well constructed is that a guitar hero guitar it's not even a real guitar yeah you have you've had you haven't even described this thing that you're saying you don't like i feel like this has like a i think on just monetary value you know he donated the most maybe i mean that's a well it's not what you are
Starting point is 00:35:31 you think you're gonna keep it and put it on ebay or something wasn't yeah yeah because i think that gentleman will want that back okay yeah well just break smash it yeah but like if you're gonna go after somebody for their shitty name tag chris no you should mention the fact that nowhere on his shitty name tag does it have his fucking name. Oh, no. It's written in pen. Oh, he wrote it in pen in tiny letters on a mimeograph copy of the poster of the band's last waltz. I told you I got bamboozled. You got band boozled. You got band-boozled.
Starting point is 00:36:07 The band. You get it? Boo-boozled. But boo-boo-boozled. I will stay pat. I will play for Scott Waltz, and I will hope that it turns his life around. So is his last name
Starting point is 00:36:23 Waltz? His name is, well, according to the written... Is your last name Waltz, dude? Oh, okay. I take it all back. Probably one of the top five name tags I've ever seen. Is it really his name, or does he just do everything in a weird time signature? Not a lot of musicians in the house.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Who are you playing for there, Matthew? The Night of the Losing Dead. That's a nice one, yeah. It's really wired. It looks like a bomb. It does. But other than that, it looks great. job yeah well don't don't read that okay
Starting point is 00:37:09 yeah somewhere on the back of your name tag is probably not written a shithead oh she put a chocolate eyeball on the back i'm gonna totally eat that thank you but if you lose at the end then we call i'll have to call that person a a shithead. And there's not one on the back of Shannon's either. But that one's so finely constructed. You don't want to ruin it by writing a shithead on the back.
Starting point is 00:37:33 We got really impressive ones. Yours looks like shit. Well, you know, it's interesting. It's interesting that, you know, after being on the show a few times, it seems like the audience and the guests all don't know what a name tag is and the importance of getting look at these ones up front with the their fucking name is in their dinner for Adam
Starting point is 00:37:55 he and shitheads on the back For the listeners, the entire front row is berating my guests. Well, don't blame... For their shitty selection work. Seems like you opened the door for it, Doug. I did a little bit. You were like, hey, what do you think of these dicks not picking your name tags? I never called you dicks. Dicks is being thrown around a lot about people that are not dicks today.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Topher Grace is not a dick. You guys are not dicks is being thrown around a lot about people that are not dicks today tofor grace is not a dick you guys are not dicks no my point was just that now you've learned for next time to just keep doing what you're doing because that's what you're going to do anyway i finally picked a good one man you think that's the best one you ever picked yes i agree i usually pick garbage like Chris Rhee over here Chris Rhee Chris Rhee he got excited by the guitar cuz Chris likes music he's a musician himself what's the name of your band, Chris? Well, we disbanded. So you probably just forgot the name?
Starting point is 00:39:10 No. Once a band breaks up, they're just like, let's just forget it ever happened. It was a band I was in. We were called 311. They're still together. What were you called?
Starting point is 00:39:26 I had a cover band called Boom Noodle. I knew there was a good reason to ask you. Because I like that name, Boom Noodle. Boom Noodle sounds like something I'd order at a Thai restaurant. Or something I'd do after eating at a Thai restaurant.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Or something I do after eating at a Thai restaurant. I don't get it. Let's play some games, you guys. We're going to start with something I've been torturing my guests with lately. It's my favorite newer game. It's called Doug Loves Musicals. Grease. Of course, this is just between the contestants on the stage.
Starting point is 00:40:17 I could have picked Grease. That would have been hilarious. It's a good first attempt. Like, if someone's doing, if I'm playing charades and someone goes movie in two words, I just yell true grit immediately. Because that would be amazing.
Starting point is 00:40:31 And I just stick with it every time. It has never worked out. This is just between you guys. Just yell it into your microphone as soon as you think you have an answer. Or, you know, you could just start yelling out musicals now. And the first person to get it right is the winner. What movie musical has all of these songs in it?
Starting point is 00:40:54 A song called What's This? Nightmare Before Christmas. Holy shit! One title in! I was so excited about this list because the next song is called finale. That's not a good clue. Then the next one town meeting song. Could you figure it out from that? Did you know there's a song in there called town meeting? If you would have started with those two, I still wouldn't. Yeah, yeah, you just got it because
Starting point is 00:41:24 that what's this is pretty memorable it's where skelly just what's this what's this he doesn't know what anything is he's just an idiot sally's song poor jack jack's lament jack's obsession a lot of jack songs in this movie making christmas Oogie Boogie song. Just jacking it. This is Halloween. Halloween. Which Greg Proops
Starting point is 00:41:54 is in there singing in some of those. Kidnap the Sandy Claws. And finally the movie's called Full Title Sir. The Nightmare Before Christmas? Full Title, Sir. Oh.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas? Yes! It goes by both, but I thought that was fun. That means you get to go first in this next game, and it's called ABCD's Nuts. It's a spelling game We'll start with Matt And then we'll go to Chris
Starting point is 00:42:29 And then to Jeff I will come at you with the next letter And the thing we're going to spell All you got to do is name any movie That begins with that letter Any movie at all It's pretty easy And yet people fail
Starting point is 00:42:40 Which is part of the fun And if you match the movie That I wrote down ahead of time then you win the game automatically i feel good about today i think it might happen is there somebody back there wearing like a mask that guy is that uncomfortable at all because it's creeping the shit out of me because it's a creepy looking mask but also just like you're just kind of just it takes away all your emotion you're just sitting there
Starting point is 00:43:07 you seem unhappy did you try to start a fight at Reservoir Bar last night cause the guy that looks like you did a guy had that same thing on last night in a bar? yeah two of them and they it was I thought it was an act but these two
Starting point is 00:43:24 dudes dressed like mexican wrestlers almost started fighting they started doing hurricanranas and shit dude they just got each other's face i'm like no they're fucking playing and they weren't was it was it because they were wearing the same costume as the other one maybe it was just embarrassment maybe they were friends they're like i told you steve mean, the machismo culture does not allow for the admission of embarrassment. Generally, it's very difficult to be vulnerable and emotionally available enough to say, I'm very embarrassed we wore the same costume. I've done a lot of reading.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Not about this. I'm making this up. There's a lot of communication issues is what you're saying. Have there been any... That would make Mexican wrestling super boring if they just talked it out. In masks? I feel like that would still be pretty entertaining.
Starting point is 00:44:22 If they were wearing their masks. It'd be like watching a bank robbery movie or something. I'm Nacho Libre. But I'm Nacho Libre. That's what I imagined their fight was yesterday. But has there been a duplicate? Has anybody noticed the same costume on any two people here today? Is there another Steve Sizzou, for example?
Starting point is 00:44:42 Is there a second cat in the hat? Is there... She forgot her own costume Is there a second cat in the hat? Is there? She forgot her own costume. Is that dude, are you Royal Tenenbaums? What? Oh, from Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro.
Starting point is 00:44:57 But doesn't he also look like Luke Wilson in Royal Tenenbaums? Yeah. With the headband and the glasses and the shirt and the thing. What are you supposed to be? You just look like you're wearing a garbage bag. That's rude. What is it? I'm asking.
Starting point is 00:45:11 It looks like he's dressed like you if you were a wizard. We already talked to him. He's dressed as Zach Galifianakis in Dinner for Schmucks. Oh, okay. Yeah. And once you know that, it's a great costume. It's pretty good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:27 You nailed it. All right. So we're going to start with you, Matthew, and we're going to spell, she's in town tonight. I'm excited about it. We're going to spell Taylor Swift. So the first letter's T. Name any movie that begins with the letter T, Matt.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Speaking of T, can I get another Tito's and soda? Can I get a root beer if that's possible? And a root beer for Jeff. Anything else, guys? I'll do an IPA and a glass. Can I do a Bacardi and ginger ale? So yeah, we're all good. We don't need anything. The Doors. The Doors? also yeah we're all good we don't need anything uh the doors the doors that's that's fun all the genuine t names and he goes with something that begins with uh teenage mutant ninja turtles i didn't say change it okay you know it wasn't wrong
Starting point is 00:46:20 just trying to have fun no i wanted to change it for myself okay i went with well as always first guesses are the only ones that count i'm going with uh terror train because it's halloween oh all right chris your letter is a ace ventura and i say full title please oh pet Ace Ventura. Full title, please. Oh, Pet Detective. Very good. I went with Apollo 13. And before you look at me like, what's that got to do with Halloween? It's because I'm going to be in Houston at the Whatever Fest on November 20th and 21st. Your letter is very shameless plugging.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Jeff, your letter is Y. You're nextff your letter is y you're next oh that's a fun horror film recent one uh i went with young frankenstein when you're gonna be older school on it wait yeah frankenstein i'm gonna be in transylvania i got my i got my monsters if was going to be in Transylvania My T title would have been Transylvania Hotel What's the cartoon? Transylvania Hotel
Starting point is 00:47:32 Hotel Transylvania So I could not have used that Two I don't think there's a subtitle on the second one Nope Back around to you, Matt. L. Lord of War.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Okay. People are like, no. It's a thing. Nuh-uh. Nicolas Cage movies count. Yeah, I guess they do. No matter how bad they are. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:47:58 It's not The Lord of War? No. Okay, it's just Lord of War. Yeah. All right, I'll take your word for it. I went with L.A. Story because as I mentioned earlier in the show, I'm going to be back at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles
Starting point is 00:48:10 with the Doug Loves Movies this Tuesday, November 3rd. Chris? Oh. Oh, Of Mice and Men. That's a good one. We made that a couple of times. Maybe three.
Starting point is 00:48:27 I went with this one. No reason, really. Just a fun title when O comes up. Orgasmo. People even applaud for it. Oh, look, this is the cutest drink delivery I've ever seen. Thank you so much, Tigger. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Look at Tigger go nice tail you know that girl's tops made out of rubber and her bottoms made out of springs I was looking around and she's the only one Somebody snuck some crispy creams up here. Oh no. Somebody brought the Amy Adams target. In a lovely Halloween. There's the Amy Adams target
Starting point is 00:49:15 over there. So whoever wins this game gets to try to hit the Amy Adams target with a donut. You're going to have to sidearm it with that overhang. Yeah, yeah, it'll be a tricky throw.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Thanks for sitting in a weird spot, Amy Adams guy. I'm aiming for the guy in the booth. Thanks for making it in. Thanks for making the trip in from Orlando. thanks for making it in uh thanks for making the trip in from uh from orlando because we saw that in orlando right man we sure did and i hit it oh that was that was fun i have a lot of aggression towards her it's fun
Starting point is 00:49:57 um r what where are we at it's my turn okay r uh i'm gonna go with robocop oh i'm gonna be in detroit on november 22nd thank you for your cooperation i'd buy a ticket to his show for a dollar um hey or more i'd pay more. It's $1.00 1987 prices. $10.00 current. Oh, okay. I went with Re-Animator. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:30 That's a fun one. S is your next letter there, Matthew. She's All That. The Freddie Prinze Jr. classic. Yeah. It's one of the better horror movies of the 90s. It's like the opposite of RoboCop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I actually went with RomCom 2 on that one. Oh, yeah. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. your classic yeah it's one of the better horror movies of the uh of the 90s opposite of robocop yeah i actually went with uh rom-com 2 on that one i went with sleepless in seattle
Starting point is 00:50:51 because i'm going to be sleepless on january 15th because i'll be so excited to be in seattle for a show on the 16th of January at the Neptune Theater. W is your letter, Christopher. Who's Harry Crumb? A question for the ages. And I went with Wolf. And there's one on my shirt, even. The clue was right there in front of you.
Starting point is 00:51:23 I. I know what you did last summer. That's a last summer. That's what I should have picked. I went with insidious. Damn it. Yeah. F. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas. If I had a gig come up in Vegas, that probably would have been a match. I was hoping for it. And I do. It's on January 24th. Well, you well you're welcome and i fucked it up it was my mistake i was still all halloween crazy because i went with frankenstein just straight up frankenstein and we're gonna get through the whole list here chris if you don't match me on the letter t uh jeff referenced it earlier. Tombstone. Because that's some scary one.
Starting point is 00:52:10 It was referenced earlier. Jason Priestley has a mustache. It's super scary. But the movie that I wrote down that was referenced earlier is The Nightmare Before Christmas. He did the tea thing. You did the tea thing. I did the tea thing that I gave Matt a hard time about doing with the first movie.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Son of a bitch. I like to have fun, you guys. And that's why nobody won that round, so we're all going to throw a donut at Amy Adams. That was close. We have to acknowledge my throw was very close. Good luck, Jeff. Oh, so close.
Starting point is 00:52:56 You don't get to do two. Jeff, where do you... Oh, you're going to eat one? Chris Broder! That was nice. So close, so close. Great job, everybody. As long as someone hits it. This is America, you guys.
Starting point is 00:53:45 There's no other country that has podcasts where people listen to people throwing donuts at a picture of Amy Adams. All right, take it back. Maybe Japan. Those people are covered in donuts right now. That's how dedicated they are. Thank you. Let's play another game. Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Starting point is 00:54:03 For the record, Stanton is my middle name. For reals? Yep. A lot of name talk on this podcast. Yeah, why don't you go by Stanton? Stanton Porter. Stanton Porter sounds like you run a hotel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Sounds very rich. Sounds like a frat name. Fits my theme. Tangential frat boy. Stanton Porter could totally be the name of somebody in Animal House. I mean National Amphibians Animal House. So nobody won that last one, so we'll start with Matt again. And win because I hit the target?
Starting point is 00:54:41 You don't get shit for hitting the target other than deep personal satisfaction. It's probably the best thing that's going to happen this entire show. And you'll always have that. You're also the only one in a baseball cap, though. Like, you came ready to throw donuts at Amy Adams. Because, you know, you have no trouble with the curve. trouble with the curve. That might get burned. I almost killed Jeff's drink with that move. I had to do very precise mic dropping to not crush his
Starting point is 00:55:17 special you get to keep that glass by the way it's an improv commemorative glass it's yours to hang on to. But what if I don't want to give it to me i'll fly back to california with it and put it in the next prize bag okay or i'll step on it and yell mazel tov you never know how high i'm gonna be when you hand it to me uh last man stanton is a game where we all i'm gonna play two play two. So after Matt, I'll go, then Jeff, then Chris. We're all going to take turns naming the films of one particular actor or actress.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Somebody tweeted me today, you should do a chick sometime, or you should do a chick today. I know lots of you have suggestions, but, oh, I wrote it down. The first person I'm going to go to, because she says she has a great one, and I assume from her picture that she's a she, because you wouldn't get that from her name.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Maybe you would. Her name on Twitter is Alien Sassafras. She's right up front. I had a good feeling that you'd be right up front and have a good name tag and have a perfect name for Last Man Stanton. What is it? Jamie Lee Curtis. It's Halloween, you guys. Oh, shit. I've said too much. This is going to be interesting. I'm already confused. We're starting with me, right? Yeah, Matt
Starting point is 00:56:37 gets to start us off. Halloween. With any... I got so excited about it being so thematical and i blew it but i won't say anything i won't say anything more about halloween and we go to chris what's the movie with jamie lee curtis true lies tom arnold's finest work that was That was his opus. Well, look for him and me
Starting point is 00:57:08 on the next season of Trailer Park Boys. Sweet. On Netflix. And a guy you may have heard of named Snoop Dogg also makes an appearance. Jeff. Jamie Lee Curtis. Halloween H20.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah. Halloween 2. I might as well. Oh, you're doing it. Oh, Matt. I won't do this to you, though. You gave me Halloween. I figured I'd give you one.
Starting point is 00:57:35 No, that's cool. Because I'm going to say the one that's already written here. Terror Train. Halloween 2. Chris? Heartbreakers. No. No.
Starting point is 00:57:56 She's not in that. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, dude. Totally understandable. All right, so Chris is understandable. Alright, so Chris is out. Jeff? Trading places. I'll go with
Starting point is 00:58:17 prom night. Freaky Friday. Freaky Friday. A fish called wanda holy fuck you guys uh that weird sequel-ish thing to fish called wanda fierce creatures Yeah, it's getting rough. She's on that TV show now, The Scream Queens. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Did I give something away? No, no. Fuck. Yeah, what's that thing called? My Girl. My Girl, yes. Jeff. My Girl, too. You son of a bitch! Damn you straight to hell. Hope you get a bee sting. Jamie Lee fucking Curtis. You bastard.
Starting point is 00:59:31 What have you done to me? Uh-oh. Why are you dropping shit? Oh, it's just a guitar. Oh, it's just that guitar. It's just a guitar. This is what happens when Porter doesn't get to talk for one minute I'm gonna drop out I think cause I don't wanna waste anybody's time I know there's more
Starting point is 00:59:55 but I'm gonna leave it to these guys Matt trying to picture that manly haircut in another movie she didn't always she wasn't always a manly haircut, but... Don't defend her. It's tricky. There's one I can picture. I can picture one that I just can't think of the name of it.
Starting point is 01:00:16 And then, yeah, we'll see. We'll see what happens. Matt, anything? I think I'm out. Yeah, I can't think of anything. Jeff, do you have another one yeah Halloween resurrection oh yeah yeah I was confused about which one she's in think of the other one yeah good call yeah yeah so Jeff Tate's our
Starting point is 01:00:35 winner Jeff What did we miss? Perfect. Oh, my God, with John Travolta. He said True Lies. He said True Lies already. Taylor of Panama? She's in that?
Starting point is 01:00:59 No, that's Rene Russo. You know we did good because no one's yelling stuff. He says it's her. What? What else? Blue Steel. Yeah. know we did good because no one's yelling stuff he says it's her what what else blue steel yeah directed by katherine bigelow uh what about what's that drama she did where like it was a big deal because she was very naked in it a lot and was right around after trading places they remember that what love letters damn it good call call, guy that can't see the show. Because he's sitting behind the donut and pumpkin table.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Love letters, yeah. Christmas with the fucking Craigs! Good one! That's the first time anyone's been excited about that movie. That movie's never gotten applause like that. It's so bad. Ever. movie. That movie's never gotten applause like that. So bad ever like that new movie about the coopers looks just looks like Christmas with the coopers just looks like the same sort of shit. Did you say Activia commercials? Of course, those are some of my favorite feature films.
Starting point is 01:01:58 They do seem to go on for a while. I'm like, I don't need to know about how regular you are because you fucking hork down that shit. House arrest. That's it, right? That's it. Veronica Mars movie escape from New York. What do you think she
Starting point is 01:02:19 did in that? Was she snake Plissken? I don't know. She was the narrator or something. Adrian Barbeau, who was the other screen queen, scream queen. Jesus. She was in that. Adrian Barbeau was in Escape from Crispy Cream Dream Queen. All right. Was there still another one? Drowning Mona. Or are you just yelling out a suggestion?
Starting point is 01:02:54 Is your girlfriend's name Mona? Yeah. Do you know someone named Mona? The virus? Wow. You guys are... I kind of like how usually it's just a bunch of yelling by everybody all at once, but you guys are just trickling them in. This might, Halloween show here in Ybor City might have to become a tradition.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yeah. In 2016, it's on a Monday. Are you guys free? Could you check your calendars? Show of hands, who's going to come next year? We're doing it. Oh, yeah. I mean, if the club will have me.
Starting point is 01:03:40 They might be like, that was too much donut cleaning. Too many donuts. We had too much donut cleaning to do after that show I don't think there's much donut cleaning I think everyone that missed the target just hit the dude in the corner well plus because of what I was saying about her Tigger is hopping
Starting point is 01:03:57 mad you're right to boo that one you're right I was like let's give reverse malting a try you guys You're right to boo that one. You're right. Let's give Reverse Malton a try, you guys. We've got a couple minutes left. This is like the old Letter Malton game that you've all played, but with a twist
Starting point is 01:04:20 because the Letter Malton app is dead and there's no newer movies on there so i'm just picking classics classics why did it end i mean i'm sure you've covered this yeah just uh you know he couldn't come to a financial agreement with the people who made the app but if you have the app it still works and it even works like in the airplane mode like all the information all of his reviews are already in my phone and so i could still call stuff up but he's not he hasn't added a movie review since monuments men was the last movie yeah i know ceremonious and i have to review that it's just over yeah that's it for movies
Starting point is 01:05:01 they're not gonna get any more boring than Monuments, man. So we don't need to talk about them anymore. I didn't know if Malton was like, I'm tired of Benson. No, no, he's a fan. He loves the show, and he loves that people come up to him, and they're like, I listen to Doug Loves Movies. That's what Doug sings of his fans. That's what I think of you guys.
Starting point is 01:05:28 You all sound like that. Hi! No, people are very nice to him and he likes it and I like it and everybody likes it. Who won that last game? Jeff? Jeff.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Jeff, you did it, buddy. Could you have named another one? No. You were out. That was your last one. My plan was to say Assault on Precinct 13 with confidence and see if it rode. Like John Carpenter was just putting her in everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:59 They tried that with Escape from New York, but did not work. All right. So Reverse Malton, I will give Jeff an option between three different films, and he will have to pick one based on the one he thinks he knows
Starting point is 01:06:16 the most names from, or maybe the one he thinks the other panelists don't know a lot of names from. Then I'll tell you how many names Leonard lists here on the app. People who have seen this movie yes you have to name everyone who's seen it uh and then uh yeah and then jeff will say how many names he think he can get it in and then we go from there um so what way were we going on that last game we're going this way so we'll go that way so
Starting point is 01:06:46 we'll go to matt wait it'll go to chris chris will be first after you uh and chris chris is like what the fuck is happening are you just trying to confuse me you go first after the first three you'll be'll be third before me. You're second first. Thank you. You are the square root of that guy. We'll talk you through it. It'll make sense, hopefully. Jeff, which one of these movies do you know more
Starting point is 01:07:15 of the cast of? Goldfinger from 1964. Oh, no. Not Awesome Powers. I did not say Goldmember. There is no Austin Powers. I did not say gold member. I said gold finger. Finger member.
Starting point is 01:07:30 It feels the same. Or to her. Feels way different to me. Hey, can you? Are you still doing that frat guy bit? All right, let me have another crack at Amy Adams. Oh! Is there one left? Come on, man. Oh! Is there one left?
Starting point is 01:08:06 Come on, man. Oh! All those people have diabetes. Whoa! Whoa! Doug, what the hell? They got progressively worse. It hit the foul pole. I had no learning curve on that.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Each throw was worse than the last. So you did have trouble with the learning curve. But I was spreading out. Yeah, I was spreading out the love, though, because more people got hit in the face with donuts. Not just Amy Adams. Gold finger. Golden eye. That's what I do when things get dirty. I bring nice, friendly donuts into the equation. Goldfinger Golden Eye
Starting point is 01:08:45 That's what I do when things get dirty I like bring nice friendly donuts into the equation And violence Or Skyfall Which one of those three films do you know the most cast members? Golden Eye He's going Golden Eye
Starting point is 01:09:01 Some applause in the back That's where the Golden Eye fans are sitting He's going GoldenEye. Some applause in the back. That's where the GoldenEye fans are sitting. 12 names, Jeff. How many out of 12 do you think you can name? In any order, of course. Billing doesn't matter. Five. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:09:23 All right, Christopher. Is Nintendo 64 a cast member? So what you have to do is you have to bid more names. Oh, no. Or challenge Jeff and hope that he fails in his mission and name five people from Goldeneye. Well, I believe Jeff can do that. Do you think you could do six or more?
Starting point is 01:09:52 I've got one. Not to show my hand, but... So I guess I have to challenge. Yeah, you just have to challenge his hope. Yes. Just go with hope and then... to challenge. Yeah, you just have to challenge this hope. Yes. Just go with hope. Hope floats. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:09 And it springs eternal. Hope does a bunch of shit. Go, Jeff. Do it, Jeff. Five. Five. It was a wonderful concession speech. Five names in any particular order.
Starting point is 01:10:30 I'll tell you if you're right after you've said five. Okay. Pierce Brosnan, Denise Richards, Halle Berry, Judy Dench, and Sean Bean
Starting point is 01:10:46 okay that's interesting no that's not Goldeneye yeah Halle Berry was not in Goldeneye
Starting point is 01:10:53 no what am I thinking of Last Boy Scout no you're thinking of the one that she was in which one was it The World
Starting point is 01:11:04 Tomorrow Die Another Day Monsters Ball that's it You're thinking of the one that she was in. Which one was it? The World of Tomorrow? Die Another Day? Monster's Ball, that's it. But Judi Dench was right. Tomorrow's Not Enough. Sean Bean was right. Pierce Brosnan was right. And what was the other one you said?
Starting point is 01:11:18 You threw in Another Lady? Denise Richards. This movie would have had three Bond girls in it if you had your way. Famke Johnson was the Bond girl in this one. And Isabella Scarupo. So that means I win. You did win.
Starting point is 01:11:35 Yes, Chris Porter gets the point. In your face. I like how confidently you played that. Well, I didn't know Chris didn't know anything I learned I was always more into the gadgets than the people that were in it okay name five or more gadgets
Starting point is 01:11:57 from Goldeneye there's the exploding pen that Alan Rickman plays with for a while and keeps clicking because he's compulsive and that's also what sets off the exploding pen. He's got that hot sauce ring so he can spice up whatever he's eating. He's got that little bullet. I think that's your uncle. My uncle James Bond.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Alright, Matt. He's not the real real one he does transmissions matt gets to start us off for the next round and um he gets to pick between three movies and then you're you're second first again chris okay so be ready man so far so good yeah you can box je out. I don't want to give you too many pointers, but Jeff is a monster in this game, as you can tell by his placement of Denise Richards in the wrong James Bond movie. She was a nuclear physicist in that film.
Starting point is 01:12:57 Yep. Yeah. I saw her on a plane. Named Christmas Jones or some shit. She is not one in real life. She's what? I saw her on a plane. She's not one in real life.
Starting point is 01:13:05 A Bond girl? No, a nuclear physicist. Oh did how are you able to tell her on the board that's right I think the movie pretty much gives away that she's not a nuclear physicist she was talking to her mother and the dumb shit that was coming out of their No. Like, how does someone look dumb on it? She couldn't work the overhead thing? No, no, she was talking to her mother, and the dumb shit that was coming out of both of their mouths was, like, have you ever been on a plane, and the people behind you are saying such dumb shit that you have to put in earplugs
Starting point is 01:13:36 because you're afraid it's going to affect your IQ? Yeah. Well, one of these people behind me on this particular date happened to be fucking Denise Richards, and it was, fuck. Well, one of these people behind me on this particular date happened to be fucking Denise Richards. And it was, fuck. You had a better seat than Denise Richards. Got a lot of money. Wait, Jeff, you think the best seats are as far up as possible?
Starting point is 01:13:58 Sounds like they were all in first class. Yeah, we were all up. That's the best part. I thought we were talking about hallie berry i meant i meant she had you had a better seat because you didn't have to be on the plane with your own mother denise richards is so dumb she's only allowed to travel with her mother like is that your point she's an unaccompanied idiot unless her mother is free to travel with her i think you looked a little far into it but yeah i think whenever i'm confused by what you're saying i should just let you talk for a while because you eventually get some sort of joke that wasn't that was nicely played yep
Starting point is 01:14:37 i'm a very tangential comedian Matt, choose between these three films. Tin Men, Pushing Tin, or Tin Cup. I know, it's fun in theory, but horrible for this game. Which one of those do you think you know the most actors from? It could be one where you just know a couple.
Starting point is 01:15:04 Tin Cup. That's what you're going with? Yes. He says Tin Cup from 1996. Leonard, Leonard lists seven names and you're saying one? Yep. All right. Chris Porter, can you name two or more people from Tin Cup? He's got two, Jeff. He's going with two people, Jeff Tate. Okay, I'll go four. I think he was in it. That guy looks like
Starting point is 01:15:37 one of them dudes from Tin Cup. I tried. I don't know what you're talking about. I tried. You know it's a golf movie, right? Yeah, it's a golf movie. It's not about a guy with a tin cup. No, I was talking about his face and beard, not his cup. Is that your dad?
Starting point is 01:15:55 Should I... There's a guy with that beard and tin cup? And you remember that about tin cup? I remember a lot about tin cup. Yeah, me neither. I think you're confusing tin cup with some show lot about tin cup yeah me neither i think you're confusing tin cup with some show on the history channel maybe all right well i tried to try to keep this from happening but you guys didn't uh strategically you're just you're basically handed jeff the
Starting point is 01:16:22 winning point i think could could go another way, though. He missed the last one. He does have to name four names. You're right. He might think that Denise Richards is in Tin Cup. Well, now I don't. Sorry, I should not give out clues ahead of time. So you're challenging him, Matt?
Starting point is 01:16:39 I said one. He said two. Yeah, and now Jeff said four. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely challenging him. Okay. Right? But if you guys had ratcheted it up amongst yourselves, one of you would have got the point, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:16:51 Next time. I definitely wouldn't have gotten the point. Next time. You know, how long has it been since you've seen Tin Cup? I've never seen Tin Cup. I'm going off commercials on TBS right now. Yeah. I have never seen Tin Cup.
Starting point is 01:17:03 I could name all seven that he lists, but I'm looking right at it. So I have that leg up. All right. You're challenged, Jeff. You have to name four people from Kevin Costner, Rene Russo, Don Johnson and Cheech Marin. Yeah. The top four build people in order. It's like watching the credits at the end. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because then after that, it's Linda Hart, Dennis Berkley, and Rex Lynn. Rex Lynn. I was going to say Rex Lynn, too, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:37 You knew or not. I was, because Rex Lynn is that guy that gets busted with the hooker at the beginning of Long Kiss Goodnight. That Sam Jackson? And he's on CSI Miami now? What the fuck? Why are we even playing this game? Jeff Tate knows Rex Lynn. And Jeff Tate is our winner today.
Starting point is 01:17:55 No, he only has one point. He only has one point. No. Chris has one point. What happened? They're tied. You each have one point? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Let's keep playing. I'm still at zero. This is like how when who wants to be a millionaire with Bill's suspense? This is like Doug's version of it where he's like, you win.
Starting point is 01:18:19 It's over. No, it isn't. Hold up. We'll be back after these messages with the actual conclusion. All right. So that means, yeah, I thought Jeff was just cleaning up. I forgot about the whole Denise Richards thing.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Yeah. All right. So Chris has a point, and Jeff has a point. I still don't know why I didn't get a point for hitting the target. I don't know why. Maybe I'll give you one. This isn't at midnight where you can beg for points. Oh, I thought it was all together.
Starting point is 01:18:49 I thought it was all together. All right, so who challenged who there? I challenged him. Okay, so Chris, you get to pick this time. Oh, you're first first. Yeah, you're first first this time. And you get to pick between three films and then it'll go to Matt's. You guys can really control
Starting point is 01:19:08 the board here if you choose to. Come on, Blues Brothers. Just as long as we're getting tangential and shit, how many people do you think you could name from the Blues Brothers? You were just begging for it and now you're thinking about it i like at least 12 if i can you think you could name 12 people for blues brothers yeah with the musicians and whatnot all right here hang on a second if if chris can name 12 people from the blues brothers
Starting point is 01:19:41 it's automatically this is we'll call this a three-way tie. All right. Okay. It doesn't make any sense. Wait, wait, can I? Why am I with Matt benefits just because Chris? Wait, can I include musicians? Well, that's the idea.
Starting point is 01:19:55 I'm talking like the guys that don't call. They might be in the cast and listed by letter. I want to see how many he lists, first of all. Now, you're saying Blues Brothers, not 2000, right? No, no no i'm talking
Starting point is 01:20:05 about blues brothers yeah the rich uh not blues brothers 2000 from 1998 what the fuck did the movie take place two years in the future? It was on the same calendar schedule as Chronic 2001. Because that album came out in 99. Never mind. We'll cut that part out. Alright, so Leonard lists 13 names. So you have to come up with 12 of them.
Starting point is 01:20:38 But I'm going to name musicians that aren't like Duck, Dodd and well, that one. I feel like you's all the blues brothers band you could name what about blue lou marini cab calloway oh wait uh there's one uh guitar charles guitar murphy no no i mean i i acknowledge he does exist and is in the movie okay well then we'll just run down the big ones Ray Charles, Cab Calloway Aretha Franklin
Starting point is 01:21:10 who else does music you still have not said the Blues Brothers names I know I'm saving them for last okay Dan Aykroyd fucking John Belushi Princess Leia where am I at Fucking John Belushi, Princess Leia.
Starting point is 01:21:29 Where am I at? You've already lost, but this is still pretty fun. How have I lost? Oh, well, because I fucked up. Yeah. Who's the guy who sings in the church at the beginning? Did you say him? The guy who sings in the church? Yeah, when Did you say him? The guy who sings in the church? Yeah, when they realize they're on a mission from God.
Starting point is 01:21:48 Yeah. And who's the guy who says orange whip? Three orange whips. Oh, okay. Jock Candy, Jackie Gleason. Who's the guy who says, good old boys, you're not the good old boys. We're the good old boys. I don't know who that is, though.
Starting point is 01:22:02 Yeah. That's Mel Tillis. No, his name is Charles Napier? Charles Napier. And who plays the nun that smacks him around at the beginning and throws him down the stairs? I don't know. Kathleen Freeman. But good job, Chris.
Starting point is 01:22:18 Thank you. Yeah, good job. You didn't come close. It's like a Make-A-wish version of this game. You got to pick the movie and then stumble through it. Can I guess what his first fuck-up was?
Starting point is 01:22:33 I bet that Leonard just listed it as Blues Brothers Band. He did, in fact, yes. He didn't list them individually. What are my real choices? Here's your real choices. Blues Brothers? That would be so funny if...
Starting point is 01:22:46 It's all a big setup. It'd be interesting to see which one of you can remember the most names that we just said. That'll be... If we get it to a tie, that'll be the tiebreaker. Tiebreaker.
Starting point is 01:22:58 I love it. Okay. But we'll see if we get there. Which one of these do you know more people from? Old School, Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, or Blades of Glory? Old School. Old School.
Starting point is 01:23:17 From 2003, Leonard Liss. Looks like a good 11 names. We'll start with five. Ooh. Chris Porter says he can name five people from old school, Matthew. I'm going to say name it. All right.
Starting point is 01:23:36 Shit. But if Chris does not succeed, Matt will get a point. We'll have a three-way tie and then we're going to do the Blues Brothers again. You got to come up with five people, though, Chris. I know. Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn. I don't know the other dude.
Starting point is 01:23:57 This is looking great. It's a good thing there isn't somebody in the audience who I thought was dressed up like him. Snoop Dogg's in it. You only need two more. Hold on. Hold on. Two more.
Starting point is 01:24:13 Two more. Just go to the... Fuck. Oh, man. No, I'm out. No, really? Yes. Wig.
Starting point is 01:24:24 Yeah. Wig. What? Pivot. no i'm out no really yes wig yeah wig what yeah jeremy pivitt luke wilson jeremy pivitt luke wilson juliet lewis leah leah ramini who just recently uh remini who recently just uh ditched scientology she told the whole scientology story like how many times does that have to happen before they fucking shut down Scientology? People come out and they're going, they wanted all of my money and they were complete assholes. Perry Reeves from Entourage. Craig Kilborn's like the bad guy in it. Oh, wow, yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:53 And Harv Presnell from Fargo and stuff. And Snoop Dogg, of course. You did get him right. So you came close. Yeah, well, I just wanted to make the game interesting. But now, speaking of interesting games, we have a three-way tie. So now, we're going to start with Jeff.
Starting point is 01:25:16 And then go to Matt. And Jeff, how many names can you name from the cast of the Blues Brothers? For real? What do you mean, for real? Yeah, for real. I'm serious. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:25:37 It's a memory test. Leonard lists 13 names. Nine. He says nine. This is for the win, you guys, so take it seriously. Is it on me or Chris? It's on you, Matt. Ten.
Starting point is 01:25:57 Go for it. All right. Here we go. I just don't want Jeff to take it easily. Also, play along at home. See how many you can remember from just a few minutes ago. Carrie Fisher, James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi.
Starting point is 01:26:23 What? John Belushi. Excuse me. Excuseushi. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. How dare you? Sorry. You're right.
Starting point is 01:26:29 I deserve that. That's blasphemy on Doug Lo's movies. Oh, God. He's rattled. Yeah. This is not going to happen. You've got to come up with like five more. I know.
Starting point is 01:26:43 Let's recap the ones you've said. Belushi and Aykroyd. John Candy. Candy. That's a new one. That's six. Oh, okay. Fuck. You said Candy twice? No, I didn't. No, I didn't. That's the first time he said Candy. Oh, Aretha Franklin.
Starting point is 01:27:04 I'm at six. You said Aretha. I would love to have some candy right now. I'm sure somebody has some. Toss it up here. Nice catch. Why can't every stand-up show be like this? Fucking Rolo's minis. Is this a make-a-wish?
Starting point is 01:27:22 Are those Reese's Minis? Oh, I hope those are poisoned or something. I hope they're dosed. Oh yeah, is there weed in them? Yeah, I know. You only need four bones. Come on, I'm trying to kill time here. What was that dude's name? Mac Guitar something? Mac Guitar something?
Starting point is 01:27:47 Mac Guitar Wilson? So we missed the whole conversation we had about that part. Yeah. Who else was popular? Jim Belushi rattled you. Dead. I wouldn't have been able to do it. Yeah, I can't come up with three more.
Starting point is 01:28:01 All right, that means... Christopher Porter is our winner yeah remember we said they condensed all the band into the blues brothers band oh and uh cab calloway uh ray charles reetha franklin james brown kathleen freeman you know there's no reason to rub it in i don't know how i would have done in a similar situation. That's an interesting memory test. I couldn't remember boat, cucumber, wire.
Starting point is 01:28:33 So I still think you did pretty good. Let's do some plugs, you guys, before we get out of here. What do you got coming up, Jeff? Oh, I'm still on my tour. I'm going to be in Dayton, Ohio, November 8th. Nashville, November 11th. At Zany's, the high tone in Memphis, November 12th. I'm in Cincinnati, November 9th.
Starting point is 01:28:55 I did those out of order. Bloomington, Indiana. In November, Louisville. Tons of places. Justanotherclown.com is where you can find out about it and my podcast and my tour dates and my merch and all that stuff. Justanotherclown.com
Starting point is 01:29:12 Thank you, Jeff Tate. Chris Porter coming in for the hug. What do you got going on, buddy? Next week will be my cousin's wedding. I'll be the drunk guy in the corner making fun of people. Do you get a plus one for that? I got a list if you guys want to come out. No, I'll be at La Jolla Comedy Store the 13th
Starting point is 01:29:46 whatever that weekend is and then I'll be at the Ontario Improv the weekend after Thanksgiving which is also I'm doing a show on my birthday so what's your birthday November 27th
Starting point is 01:30:01 everybody send him a message on Twitter or wherever on November 27th me and Jim him a message on Twitter or wherever on November 27th. Me and Jimi Hendrix and Josh Blue. Oh, that's a great group. Yeah, and Jackie Green. Like eight people per event. And Scott Waltz, I guess you get the prize bag. Come on up here, buddy.
Starting point is 01:30:20 Come on up here and get this. I think you get a shithead from Shannon? Do I get to plug anything? Can you go to her? Yeah. Take that back to her. I don't need somebody else's shithead. I need the proper person's shithead.
Starting point is 01:30:37 I like to run things above board. What is yours, though? People who try to make fun of Doug Benson benson on at midnight or a shithead well i agree but you know they got to try to win somehow can i plug stuff yeah yeah i'm getting to you okay settle the fuck down matthew i will oh man is there a shit there's a shit out on the back of yours right yes just pass it over and what do you got going on, Matt Fernandez? This Thursday, I'll be right down the street at New World Brewery with Ben Kronberg. And every Thursday, if you want to come out, we have a weekly show in South Tampa at Wicked Witches.
Starting point is 01:31:16 Full list of dates on MattFernandezWorld.com and follow me at FatMernandez. Oh, I forgot my Twitter. Can I say i say my twitter nope we're out of time what's your twitter chris i am chris porter oh okay super i am chris porter i love how i almost said to chris waltz why are you still there? Because I haven't given you your prizes yet. Congratulations, dude. Happy Halloween. Way to go, Chris Waltz. Yay. Yeah, and thank you to everybody for coming out and to the Tampa Improv
Starting point is 01:31:58 and I wasn't kidding around earlier. We could just make this an annual thing. I'm very excited. And one more time for Matt Fernandez, Chris Porter, and Jeff Tate. Thank you. And as always, the Polk County Sheriff whose mission from God
Starting point is 01:32:32 is to eliminate obscenity. What? Eliminate obscenity? Grady Judd? Grady Judd is a shithead. Yeah! Now it's time for Doug to watch another Talkie It's two shitheads
Starting point is 01:32:53 I mean Grady Judd sounds like a lot of shitheads to me so you weren't really wrong to go to the end theme there but cue it up again cause I got one more Pumpkin murderers are shit. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Starting point is 01:33:12 Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, because Doug loves movies.

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