Doug Loves Movies - Colin Quinn, Duncan Trussell, and Graham Elwood Guest
Episode Date: March 25, 2013Live from The Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Doug welcomes comedians Colin Quinn, Duncan Trussell, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Califor...nia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, then he won't sleep
Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody
Woo hot crowd
Hot crowd in
Rainlanta
My name
You know my name
You know my name.
You know what I love.
Thank you guys so much for coming.
We are at the Punchline Comedy Club in Atlanta, Georgia on Sunday, March 24th,
2 Oceans 13, at 420-ish!
I'm noticing this club, this barn is so big,
and I'm so glad it's been cleared of zombies,
and that I just want to make sure that all of my guests can be seen on the,
for anybody that has to look at a monitor,
I want to make sure you can see everybody, right?
Makes sense.
I want everybody to see the whole show.
What was I going to say next?
Oh, I did say thank you for coming, didn't I?
Can I see your name tags?
Did you guys bring name tags?
Oh, my God.
Whose face is that on a stick?
It's your landlord.
He probably has landlord's face.
What are you doing going to see a comedy show?
Pay the rent!
Pay your rent!
Is that what he sounds like?
I'm pretty good at impressions
of people I've never met.
This is disturbing.
American history Alex.
I thought I saw you
out front curb stomping a guy.
Holy crap.
And mean Edward Norton has a really adorable Doug Loves Movies tat on his tit.
It's a titu.
Well, thank you very much, Alex.
That's a good one.
Molly E. instead of Wally.
I like it.
That's adorable.
Nice job.
Oh, Andy's got, just give me the candy.
Why did you write candy?
Your name's Andy.
You could have just wrote candy.
That is awesome.
A bag of Reese's
with a shithead on the back.
Is that really a thing?
The men's rights movement?
That is a shithead.
Matt, a gas car.
I love it.
Every time.
How many times have you brought that?
Four times.
Jenna and the Giant Peach has been here a few times.
Oh my God, you guys are amazing.
These are awesome signs.
Fight Club is back from yesterday.
Jarvis is back.
So good luck to everybody.
Oh wait, let me see this one.
This is pretty cool.
The return of the living Rick
instead of living dead.
But that's a cool recreation
of the poster from that movie.
I like that movie a lot
except for the bad acting.
There's some bad acting in it, but it's mostly hilarious.
What is this? A Bane mask?
Oh my God.
I'm just gonna keep this here and I'll slip it on when it's time to say.
And a picture of Christian Bale?
I don't know what that means.
Is your name Bale?
Christian.
Okay.
Christian Bane.
Oh, very clever.
Matt, what does that mean?
Matt and a tomahawk?
It's the Braves.
Okay.
All right.
You know it's not
Doug Lo's sports, right?
Did you get the memo? All right, you guys don't have to hold him up anymore. I appreciate it. You know it's not Douglas Sports, right?
Did you get the memo?
Alright, you guys don't have to hold them up anymore. I appreciate it.
I should have said something like,
tags down.
But I just wanted to get a peek and mention
some of them, because when the guests are on,
I don't know if you guys have noticed when you're listening, but when the guests
go to look for name tags, it becomes
a pandemonium that I'm sure
is very unpleasant to listen
to and very confusing and I like people to get some credit for going to the trouble of
making cool name tags. This is the time of the year where I get a lot of questions from
fans about what I'll be doing on 420. Everybody would like me to come to their pot event,
but I can only be in one place,
and this year it's going to be in San Francisco
at Cobb's Comedy Club, where I will
be taping my latest
album, and all of my dates
and links
and deets
can be found at DougLowe'sMovies.com.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief,
tweets about movies.
At CD Nuts, or Newts, K-N-U-T-S, CD Nuts tweeted,
Spring Breakers drinking game.
Drink when you see boobs and when they say spring break.
We drank a 30-pack in the theater.
we drank a 30-pack in the theater.
This has been Tweet Relief,
tweets about horrible ideas.
My third annual award-winning 421 show at Wow Hall in Eugene, Oregon
is at 7 o'clock on 421.
That's a good...
Okay.
And if you like special effects in movies,
you can support the special effects artists
who are underpaid and undervalued
in a very easy way.
There's one guy right there.
Do you have something to do with special effects?
Yes.
And you know what I'm about to say?
Probably.
Probably.
Yeah, no, you probably have a good guess what I'm going to say,
but maybe there's more than one protest going on.
But I think we're all on the same page,
and I want everybody to get on the same page.
We're all, maybe not all of us,
but most of us are kind of excited
about the new Superman movie, Man of Steel.
And a lot of special effects
went into making that movie possible
and lots of Hollywood movies.
And special effects people are very disgruntled.
So what we're going to do is
me and them and everybody
try to wait one week
before seeing Superman, Man of Steel.
Just, you know, so it'll still make money.
It'll still be a blockbuster.
But let's affect that opening weekend number a little bit
by just waiting a week to see it.
What kind of spoilers are there going to be?
He lives.
So just wait a week and then see it.
And I don't know if this is going to affect anything,
but I think it's worth a shot
because obviously the special effects
are a huge part of those kind of movies.
Let's get the guests out here.
The prize bag is full of lots of crazy items.
We've got a small beach ball
that I caught and hung on to like a creep when I was at one of the
concerts on the 311 cruise.
And today I made a vine of me throwing it into a wastebasket in my hotel room.
I was pretty proud of myself because it was a good shot.
And Douglas Movie's t-shirt is in here.
We've got some other items that you will enjoy that I'll talk about in a second.
My album, of course, Smug Life.
And also, one of the guests didn't bring something,
but he's written down his personal email on a piece of paper.
And it's good for one t-shirt or one free poster
that he, I believe, sells on his website.
Please help me in giving a big warm welcome to my friends
Graham Elwood, Duncan Trussell,
and Colin Quinn.
Thank you, Colin. We did it.
Four comedians who were in town anyway.
But I appreciate everybody coming by.
Let's start with Colin Quinn, everybody.
Come on, man.
This is not a tough crowd.
It's also not a roast, don't worry.
You've never heard this podcast, correct?
I've heard of it, sure.
Heard of it?
Yeah.
Let's get his microphone on.
Yeah.
Oh, here.
Duncan's got a hotter microphone.
Sexier, too.
Thanks, Duncan.
Sure, Colin.
Yeah, just switch them up.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
I've heard of this, of course.
How about today?
He goes, would you mind listening to...
Last night, I go, oh, I'll come by and do the podcast
this is all true what I'm about to say
so he goes would you mind listening to it
yeah I'll fucking do research for you
fucking podcast
then he goes right in front of me out loud
yesterday he goes
yeah shit you know all these guys leave from Anchorman 2
I know I could have got Paul Rudd
he starts going over the list of who he wishes he could have got.
I'm sitting right there.
I didn't bring it up.
We weren't even talking about it.
I know I could have got Koechner and Paul Rudd.
Probably not Carell, but so I'm like, all right, fine.
What the fuck, man?
Tell me that's not exactly what happened.
That is exactly what happened,
but my favorite part is as I was leaving,
I said I wouldn't be mad at you if you didn't want to do it.
No, no, if I blew it off.
He goes if you bail I won't be mad so I was like
now I gotta do it.
I was thinking in my head I don't fucking bail.
But that's an ongoing thing of
contention when people come on the show.
The games are kind of complicated and
people write to me on Twitter
I bet somebody in this very room has done it
and say why can't the guests just listen to an episode
before coming on
instead of being so confused
and now you have your answer
because they don't fucking watch that
we're assholes
we're obstreperous assholes
that don't like to be told anything
I'm going to look up obstreperous later
I'm looking forward to that.
But thank you, Colin.
And Duncan Trussell is here, everybody.
Hi.
In town, performing
at a club we're not going to mention
because it's the competition.
Oh, no it isn't.
Laughing skull. Yeah, yeah yeah laughing skull uh it's intimate it's an intimate club intimate yes yeah and they pass out intimates yeah it's a very intimate club
yeah and you're out but you're having a fun weekend here in atlanta yeah i mean i guess so
sort of fun been crying in the hotel room,
sort of rolling around in a sweat in bed,
but it's great.
I like your attitude very much.
And you have a podcast, of course,
called The Duncan Tussle Family Hour.
Yes.
And sometimes you call it,
like on Twitter and stuff,
you call it the DTF hour.
No, DTFH.
But yeah, I know,
it's down to fuck.
Down to fuck hour.
Yeah.
That was an accident.
Yeah, but it's a happy accident.
And I think that's what
you should call it from now on.
The down to fuck hour.
I think you'll meet
some interesting people.
And then on the end there,
it's Graham Elwood everybody
Hello
Hello Atlanta
Hello
That's my southern accent right there
Hello I'm from the South
I love me
The sweet tea
South of where?
South of the Mason-Dixon line.
That's where I was born.
I like me the NASCAR.
Colin's doing some real roadie shit here right now.
He's amazing.
He's fixing the microphones.
He's the nicest dressed and he's on the microphones. He's the nicest dressed
and he's on his knees.
Like he's blowing the Braves fan.
Tap out.
Tap out.
We got actual staff here.
Jumping in.
You're DIY.
I like it.
You left your mic on the floor though cuz it's still is it
still dead still a dead one let's pass it back again okay it's gonna work right
now all right awesome welcome to another episode of Doug loves technical
difficulties never test a mic before the show.
Always wait till it starts.
You're just asking for trouble.
You're asking for trouble and disappointment if you test all the equipment.
Because things just go wrong.
Anyway.
Graham.
Yeah?
Are we talking cats?
What was that?
Graham. Meow.
Meow.
Meow.
Meow.
Meow.
Did you see any movie today, meow, meow?
That is creepy.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, yes.
I saw Olympus Has Fallen.
Yes, and I proudly did not go with you.
Well, I'm going to wait until next weekend because it has special effects.
The special effects are horrible.
It was done on a high schooler's computer.
It was really bad.
See, that's what's happening to the effects industry.
Yeah, but basically, though,
it's just Die Hard in the White House,
and I was like,
God, it's so dumb, it's Die Hard in the White House,
and I was like, well,
it's better than the last Die Hard movie that just came out.
Old man fucking Die Hard
running around Russia
fucking things up for the CIA.
This movie wasn't that.
This was Gerard Butler
doing what he should be doing,
which is not romantic comedies.
Just fucking people up.
That's what he's all about.
It was good business.
I know a conspiracy theory about that movie.
Oh, I'd love to hear it, Duncan.
Let me tell you.
They released the movie on March 22nd, 2013.
And 322, for those of you guys who don't know,
is a very special number for the Skull and Bones,
the organization that George Bush was in,
the fraternity where they lay in a glass coffin
and jerk off on each other.
Which isn't special
to that fraternity. No.
And that's why they released it on...
Well, yeah, because 322 is a verse
from the book of Genesis that's like,
right after they ate the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
God said, now if they eat the tree of life, they'll become like us.
And the reptilians love that verse for some reason.
So they released it on 322 as a warning sign.
Are you sure you're not talking about Tina Fey in Admission?
Yeah.
Well, she was in The Sk and bones every movie released yesterday or two days ago is was a
warning a warning sign we just have to be able to read the tea leaves yeah I
don't know I don't know what I'll give you another good conspiracy theory
speaking of movies released two days ago, it was Spring Breakers.
You know that movie Spring Breakers?
Well, it's about four girls who are on spring break
and they end up involved with a gangster.
And I wrote a movie six years ago
about four girls going on spring break
and getting involved with gangsters in spring break.
What was that called?
It was called Texas Hold'em.
Did they go to
South Padre Island?
Is that why?
Yes!
It's pretty good.
I guess it wasn't
a subtle title, but...
So I was depressed.
I know they didn't take it off me,
obviously, but still, it pissed me off after all
these years. I couldn't get my stupid movie made.
I know it's not on the same scale
as an international cartel of
masturbating, coughing...
But I'm saying, in my little
world, it's apocalyptic.
It's just as bad.
Because I wasted a lot of time on rewrites on that script for nothing
now.
Colin, you were in a movie that I love that's...
Don't bust my balls.
I'm serious.
I'm waiting to hear what it is.
Whatever movie I've been in, that's the punchline.
I promise you that.
It's not going to be Goodfellas, let's put it that way.
What is it going to be?
Same genre, though. It's Married to the Mob. Oh, yeah. That's a great movie. It was be good fellas. Let's put it that way. What is it gonna be a same genre though? It's married to the mob
Oh, yeah, that's a great movie. It was a good boy. I mean it was a I haven't seen it in a while
Yeah, I only had like one line and at the time I was like I walk in I got the place is clean
And then we had a break and then I said talking to somebody and Matthew Modine
Who's like the biggest fucking name in show business at the time one of the biggest I guess I'm exaggerating but yeah he was he was hot
off of vision quest is how about Linda Fiorentino and vision quest oh my god
yeah you're like one of the cops outside the place where the weird hotel that looks like a castle where the stripper girl...
Excuse me, gentlemen. The place is clean. That was my line.
Obviously, I haven't worked that much that I can remember a line from a 25-year-old movie.
That'd be a fun game. What was your line? What did you say in You had a lot of lines in
Who's the man
Yeah
That's a fun movie
The hip hop whodunit
Yeah
Sure
Hip hop whodunit
You just started a new genre of films
That's awesome
No they call it that
Who's the man
The hip hop whodunit
Really?
Yeah
You should get Tyler Perry on the blower friend
You're in Hotlanta and you'll start making
those movies.
We make them that,
you know what I mean?
At the time,
did you think you'd hitch
your wagon to the right,
Dr. Dre?
This is going to be
the Dr. Dre
who makes it big.
Yeah.
It was a little,
in the late 80s,
people were,
it could have gone
either way. Yeah. That's how people people were... It could have gone either way.
That's how people felt.
It really could have.
Well, that's awesome.
Which is just a thing I say before transitioning to the next thing.
I think we all knew that, but it was like,
okay, we're ready to move on, too, so don't call him out on it.
Or love it.
We'll talk about it.
Or love it.
This is great.
we'll talk about it I love it
this is great
wait so Graham
yeah
it's a new character
is it
it's not the cat
so is it worth seeing
White House down or not
White House down
I guess
based on Olympus is Falling
yes
should we skip them both
it's not horrible.
I mean, it's everything you think it would be.
There's some good Gerard Butler fucking shit up stuff.
I'd like to see a movie where they use that in the ad.
It's not horrible.
Yeah.
There are bigger wastes of time.
If you're kind of stupid, you might enjoy this.
So it's good.
Duncan, how often do you watch a movie?
Like, I know you say you're not a big movie guy,
or you don't know much about them other than the conspiracies behind them.
Right.
Like, how often do you, like, watch them at home?
I watched, last night, the final Twilight movie
with a girl who sells her socks online.
Her own socks. She walks around
in them for a while.
And then sells them to creeps.
That sounds like the worst night
you could ever have.
I know on paper it sounds
terrible, but it was incredible.
It was great.
On paper it was incredible. It was great. On paper, it
sounds terrible.
Oh, yeah.
How did you feel about
that movie? It seems
like it's so bad
that it comes from another
dimension of bad. It's like it's so bad that it comes from another dimension of bad.
It's like alien-studied bad movies,
and it seems to be coming from some demonic alien intelligence or something.
Have you seen it?
You hadn't seen any of the previous four?
No, no.
So it's really weird to jump in on the fifth movie.
Yeah, but it wasn't like i didn't
understand it it's like this strange uh perfume commercial montage with like oh you definitely
didn't understand it i was super stoned it's it's my favorite of the five and that's not a compliment really. Okay.
But You've seen all five.
At least some heads get ripped off.
That doesn't happen in the first four.
But they don't get ripped off.
They get like popped off
like a doll's head.
Well that's the secret to vampires.
Okay.
And big dogs.
It's that
if you hold them right
you can just pop it right off.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's really weird.
Colin, you haven't seen a single Twilight movie.
That is 100% correct.
Yeah, I could see that not happening.
Yeah.
What has gotten your attention lately
movie-wise?
I haven't seen any
of those, you know,
like, those fucking
comic book movies
all these years.
I don't like any of it.
Anything Patton
Oswalt watched,
I probably didn't see.
I remember talking to him once
and he just started talking
about all these comic things
like I knew what he was
talking about.
It was like a foreign language.
I was like, Patton,
I don't know any of this do you understand i don't
edition six of some spider-man i don't even like spider-man i hate i hate it all
i hate cartoons i hate comic books i like good fellas thanks for stopping by
i like good fellas and donnie brasco
I'll let Goodfellas and Donnie Brasco.
The rest of society, the rest of culture... Everything else, forget about it.
Exactly.
If I may quote Goodfellas.
Hoo-ah!
Does Phil Spector, the Phil Spector movie on HBO tonight,
does he ever go, hoo-ah?
She shot herself Hooah
Cause that would be
Really sweet
So that's just it
The two movies
Or have you seen something
No I've seen other things
Lately you could talk about
Oh I like The Master
I saw that the other night
On demand The Master Yeah that was pretty the other night on demand. The Master?
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Who was? No, I didn't like it.
I'm just saying, yeah, I saw it.
That's a weird movie, right?
Yeah, it was good. Did it make sense to you?
I saw it. It made sense to me.
After I watched it, it didn't make sense, but then I googled
people talking about it.
And I was like...
And now I'm spouting those opinions
like they're my own.
And I can tell people, like,
he's smart.
How'd he figure that out from watching it?
I was like, yeah, you know,
what it really means is this.
But I'm just like...
Yeah, I watched that movie like,
oh, these people are really good actors
and they seem really committed to this
and I do not understand any of their motivations.
No.
None of these characters make any sense to me.
But, you know, they did a good job.
Yeah, but after I Googled it,
I did understand it.
It's even better.
I heard it's like a takedown of Catholicism?
Yes, exactly.
Real skull and bone shit.
Well, what else have you seen, Graham?
I know you see lots of movies.
I know you're real busy with it.
I just saw Emperor, which is a little...
It's got a limited release about
the end of World War...
Right after the fall of Japan,
Matthew Fox...
He...
is a vampire
and he's in love with the
Emperor of Japan.
It's a really good movie.
If you like Matthew Fox.
It's a historical drama. If you like World War II stuff,
you might like it, Colin.
I probably would like it.
It's real stuff. It's not a bunch of guys in capes running around going, yeah, nice world. You know what I mean? You'll really like it, Colin. I probably would like it. It's real stuff. It's not a bunch of guys in capes running around
going, yeah, nice world.
You know what I mean?
You'll really like it.
So the prize bag today also contains
a note from Duncan
With his email
So when you write to him to get your poster or t-shirt
Please don't share his email with all your friends
And crank the shit out of him
Via email
Although crank emails
I don't know if that would be much fun anyway
Yeah you don't have to open them
It's called Spambox
You just fucking delete that shit
Yeah and Colin's contribution to the bag anyway. Yeah, you don't have to open them. It's called Spambox. You just fucking delete that shit?
Yeah, and Colin's contribution to the bag is one of my favorites.
You're going to love this.
Everyone here today,
if you go outside after the show
and then come back to the box office
and say you just came from Douglas Movies,
you get back into Colin Quinn's stand-up show
for free.
There you go.
Yeah.
Two for one Chelsea and I, guys.
How about that?
And don't...
So go outside,
smoke some bowls,
and come back into the barn
and enjoy...
And don't tell the other
fucking customers
that you got him for free.
It's the last thing we need
is a civil war
in this goddamn place.
It already looks like a Confederate...
If you stay, I don't know.
This room already looks like
a Confederate meeting is going to break out.
Keep the White House white!
Cut to my opening on stage and I go,
look at this room. It looks like a confederate meeting is gonna be.
Crowd laughs. You guys are like,
he stole that. I'm like, shit the book.
That's the best way to handle a heckler. Show him your fist.
Or a heckler.
And then, Graham, what did you put
in this bag? Oh I put in
I've got these
download cards
one of my new album
and one of my film
Lafganistan
that I'll be selling
after the show
but I'll get two of those
and I threw in a
girl's palm strike shirt
so yeah
so anybody that wasn't
here yesterday
will be
you know Graham and I
will be hanging out
in the back after
and he'll sell his stuff
and I'll just stand there
like a creep and I got I don't have many left but I he'll sell his stuff and I'll just stand there.
Like a creep.
I don't have many left, but I have a couple.
Some of you asked me online.
I have a couple copies of the Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies left that Doug wrote the foreword on, so I'll be having those get this quick.
It's some of the best two pages of writing you'll ever read.
It's totally worth buying just for my foreword alone.
But I will sign it and Graham will sign it
and then we'll take a picture
and it'll last longer.
This is the most polite panel
I've ever had.
Like, TJ Miller would go
into a soliloquy right now.
Given that big of a space of quiet.
I saw Smashed, a movie called Smashed,
on the plane.
Oh, yeah.
I like that a lot.
A TV show, it's good, with Catherine.
No.
McFever.
I have McFever, too, so I know what you're saying.
Smash it.
There's an E and a D at the end.
Oh.
And it's about a couple that are
alcoholics and one of them decides to stop
being an alcoholic. And that always works
out well. When one
wants to continue hard drinking and the
other one wants to stop, that's
made in heaven. Can I just, can I say
one critique of the podcast if you
really don't want us to be polite?
I don't like the fact
I don't like the fact I don't like the fact
that when I brought up fucking The Master,
which at its worst is still one of those
movies that people should be noteworthily talking
about, it was just dead fucking
silence on the panel.
Everybody got in a depressed mood. You guys
ruined the room on my great idea.
I figured you'd have something to add to it.
It's a good film.
It's an obscure fucking indie movie that you saw on a plane.
If you didn't even see it on a plane,
you probably saw it on fucking Netflix.
You're not on a plane and they go,
hey folks, we have this art movie about an alcoholic couple.
Hope you enjoy it
on your trip to fucking Fort Lauderdale
for spring break.
What the fuck?
Colin, you can bring your own movies with you on a plane now.
That's what I said.
I'm saying you probably watch it yourself.
You acted like, I saw this movie.
And they have a channel with a bunch of movies,
and that was one of the choices.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Yeah, the airline chose it.
That's unfortunate.
But they show unrated,
they show like they don't edit them anymore, the movies.
What?
When you're watching it on your own personal screen.
Ooh.
So, yeah.
So, I pick what I think is going to be the gnarliest movie.
In this case, it was Smashed.
But I was smashed at the time.
But I liked it.
And so, I recommend it.
I'm uncomfortable when people watch, like, porno.
Have you ever sat next to somebody on a plane and then watched some guys watching fucking porno, man?
It's fucking free country, man.
Shit.
I'm like, give me your other ear but let me share the experience because I because then I
started whacking off like fucking the Phoenix kid in Oh, that Phoenix. That was a good imitation of Freddy.
The Phoenix Kid.
That Phoenix Kid.
Not the dead one.
The one that's alive.
What's the other one?
I think we've done a walking dead category.
Oh, shit.
Who want the dogs out?
Ho, shit. Oh, what the dog's out. Oh, oh.
That hoo-hoo is appropriate in this barn.
Hoo-hoo.
I got to put this on for a second, you guys.
Talk amongst yourselves.
What?
Oh, Bane mask!
My head is bigger than his.
And he's got a fat fucking head.
But let me just fake it.
Let the games begin!
Oh.
We're Atlanta's Reckoning.
Colin's like, didn't see it.
Don't know what you guys are talking about.
Another Patton movie.
Can I say, you know about this conspiracy theory with that movie, right?
I love how you grab your glasses
when you talk conspiracy.
Hang on to your hats and glasses.
This is the wildest conspiracy in the West.
This is a good one.
This is a good one.
And I just got glasses.
This is a whole new thing I've started doing.
They're so useful for that.
But this is serious.
They, uh...
And that map, I'm sure you guys know about this,
but the map and Batman, when they're pointing to a map
about where this attack's gonna happen,
they point it to Sandy Hook.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's, like, look it up. There's freeze frames on it.
Sandy Hook Gotham is
in the movie I don't know why it's there but that's what they pointed to or those
crazy shootings happen so all those like ridiculous paranoid Sandy Hook truthers
say there was some kind of like wink to the other reptilians that that's where
the next that's how I guess reptilians communicate with each other through
action hero movies or something.
You didn't know there was Sandy Hook truthers, did you?
No, I did. I did know there were those,
but I didn't know that Dark Knight got dragged into it.
Because it's kind of already implicated in another horrible thing,
so there's no reason to keep doing that.
This is a new game yeah
so you don't even
you're on the same page with these other guys Colin
use your microphone
yes one good thing about wearing a suit it makes you feel very obedient I'm like oh okay Yes, that's what I meant.
That's one good thing about wearing a suit.
It makes you feel very obedient.
I'm like, oh, okay.
This game is called IMDB because I am
DB.
That's a good one.
Jesus.
Took me a second And here's the object of the game
I will name two movies
From IMDB.com's top 250
That's movies that were voted on
As the favorites by IMDB users
And then you guys tell me
You each take a turn and guess
Which one you think ranked higher
Of the two movies.
Are you laughing
because I said which one is higher?
Because that would be a real easy game.
I am definitely the highest of the
four of us on stage right now.
Which one ranked higher? Like, which one
people liked more?
Yeah, but on a thing where...
We say there better be more to this goddamn game,
I'll tell you right now.
Oh, there's more games.
This sounds horrible.
I'm sorry.
I don't know, it's still on mic.
I'm testing it out.
It might truly be horrible,
but I figure this is the time to do it
when I've got somebody very critical
sitting next to me.
Right.
I can find out the truth. My other guests just lie to me. This is the most fun I've got somebody very critical sitting next to me. I can find out the truth.
My other guests just lie to me. This is the most fun
I've ever had.
And the two movies
that you have to decide between, which one ranks higher?
This is, you know, people go on and they give it a
rating and thousands of people
and it's a weird list.
And you have to determine which
was ranked higher. Which Hitchcock movie was higher on the list?
Rear Window or Psycho?
Do the weirdos who go on IMDb and actually vote for things
prefer Psycho or Rear Window?
You want to go first, Graham?
Sure, I'll go first.
Okay, Psycho.
Okay, that's what Graham says.
What do you think, Duncan?
It's rear window.
All right.
Now, Colin, you have an opportunity here to side with either of them.
Well, I say it should be psycho, but everybody's got to be a dick and go against the grain on IMDB.
And they're probably just going to go for rear window just to be contrarian.
Because of Grace Kelly or something.
Just to be like, hey, it's more artistic,
psycho's hack, whatever the fuck they said.
Psycho's hack.
That fucking hacky piece of shit
with the black and white.
Oh, we get it, the money's the MacGuffin.
The movie starts out in Phoenix,
it's a rising bird, it's all bird seems.
We get it
I'm a big
Janet Leigh fan
and I preferred
for her to live
yeah
what about the birds
why isn't that
one of the choices
I don't think
it made the top 250
whoa
this is the top 250
movies of all time
Colin
oh
it's quite a
I thought you said here's how stupid I am I thought you said the top 250 I thought it was like the top 250 movies of all time, Colin. Oh. It's quite a... I thought you said, here's how stupid I am.
I thought you said the top 250.
I thought you said the top 250 movies of all time.
All right, I'll say Real Window.
I was like, why is he picking two out of 250?
It's a fucking absurd number.
Even 50, I don't know how we're going to do it.
What are we going to do, 25 of these?
Yeah, I could see your reticence to play the game now.
Because it sounds like it would go on forever.
Not unlike the next two games.
This is like kind of a fast one.
Just to dip our toes into the game pool.
Well.
And our winners of this game would be Duncan and Colin
because Rear Window is 28th on the list and Psycho is 30.
Sons of bitches.
Psycho is just a knife stab away from Rear Window.
I forgot you forgot to say what we're playing.
I'm playing for Muriel in the fourth row.
No, we'll pick...
You'll pick your name tag in a second.
We're not at that part yet.
But thank you, Muriel,
for your wedding.
It's a movie reference.
Yeah, dog, it is.
Why is that one seat empty?
Do you have any idea?
Oh, there's two seats that are empty.
What'd you guys do?
What's your fucking problem?
If you guys move down one,
then two people could sit there.
I mean, there's nobody waiting to come in,
so don't do it.
We just meant earlier earlier would have been polite
did I cross the street with you guys?
it's like fucking Spicoli up here
I know those dudes
what's wrong with doing a podcast
and learning about Cuba?
Alright, let's play another game.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts.
And this game,
wildly popular.
It's a spelling game, Colin.
Do you like to spell? Yes.
Use your micro-move.
Yes.
Use your microphone.
Suit up and use your mic.
We'll start with you,
and then we'll go to Duncan,
and then, again, our loser, Graham,
who was dumb enough to think that one Psycho movie is better than one Hitchcock.
It's a guessing game.
He should have known it was going to be a trick.
Why else would he ask such a question?
Why else would he ask us a question?
Everything's a trick and a conspiracy.
Let me grab my glasses and tell you.
Is that an impression of Duncan and Colin together?
Yes.
That's a Colin mashup.
Holding his glasses going...
All right, here's how ABCD's nuts works.
I'm going to give you a letter, Colin,
and you just have to name any movie
that begins with that letter.
And we're going to go through and we're going spell ghosts Atlanta I'm just practicing okay we're gonna spell
Atlanta Georgia and if by the time we get to the a and the last day in Georgia
there's only one a in Georgia but the last day of Atlanta, Georgia, so we're going to be four A's in,
by the time we get to there,
if someone has matched the movie
that I have written down before the show,
it's like a psychic test.
Got it.
If you match my movie, you win automatically.
If you can't name a movie,
in a few seconds, you're eliminated.
I hate this kind of...
This is not a spelling game.
You need to know how to spell Atlanta, Georgia.
I freeze when this shit happens, man.
Go ahead. What's the first one?
Okay.
Atlanta, Georgia.
I'm anxious to fail.
I played this game, you know.
The letter is A.
this game, you know.
The letter is A.
Any movie
that begins with A.
Anaconda, the classic J-Lo movie
with Ice Cube.
Nice. Really good.
And I love that you said a little bit about the movie.
That's fun as well.
I will say something about my movie
because I picked A Night at the
Roxbury because it features Colin Quinn. What was your line in that? Do you remember your
line in that?
I had a lot of lines in that one.
What kinds of things did you say?
Well, you two stop dancing over there.
I was like the spoiler. In a lot of movies I played the spoiler for some reason. And
in this one, Chaz Palminterri
Was like, did you just pinch my ass, Dewey?
Dewey, did you pinch my ass?
And I have to go, no sir, I did not pinch your ass
Like his joke is to say that
So then, of course, everybody in the street
Like these little kids come up to me in the street
Near where I lived at the time
I mean like eight years old
Did you pinch my ass?
And people are walking by going, what the fuck?
I swear to God, and I'm going, ah, yeah,
from the movie, kids, right?
Fucking
the rest of it, child molestation all of a sudden.
I'm like, that movie, Night at the Roxbury,
where that line was repeated, yes,
I understand. That's hard to explain.
Yeah. You know that movie,
Night at the Roxbury? No. No. I know. It's for to explain. Yeah. You know that movie Night of the Rocks for free? No.
No. I know. It's for
eight-year-olds.
I was on Comedy Central
the other day. I watched some of it.
Your letter is T, Duncan.
The Crying Game.
Nicely done.
I like that you
choose a movie that begins with the.
There's so many. Yeah, there's a lot. I like that he said a movie that begins with the. There's so many.
Yeah, there's a lot to choose from.
I like that he said it too, so positive.
The Crying Game.
You sounded like the guy when you call up at the movies.
You have chosen The Crying Game.
You guys both feel like you know a lot about movies right now.
You're doing so well at this game.
Yeah, you're super cocky.
This is one for one at the game.
I'm like, ooh.
I chose That's My Boy,
which features an appearance by Colin Quinn.
Ah!
Yay!
What's your line in that one?
I don't remember.
It's your boy!
Yeah.
I was a strip club DJ in that one.
So, you know, you figure, hey,
a fucking fun day at least at the strip club.
They have me in the trailer all day.
I'm just sitting in the trailer fucking reading,
stupid iPad.
And then they go,
don't worry, we're almost ready for your scene.
I'm like, you know,
all the strippers are walking by like half,
you know, just in little robes
going back to the strip club stripping.
I show up.
I'm like, okay.
They go, okay, we're just shouting you.
Don't worry, the strippers are released.
We'll just do this.
They were already gone.
They sent them home.
So just me standing there.
They didn't even stay for your motivation
and your eyeline?
No.
To help you with the scene?
Just me saying my line, yeah.
Fucking strippers.
So unreliable.
Graham, your letter is L.
Leaving Las Vegas.
I feel like these guys are cheating because they answered so quickly. is L. Leaving Las Vegas. Ha ha.
I feel like these guys are cheating because they answered so quickly.
Both of them were like bang on the top
of their fucking head. I'm gonna lose this goddamn game.
I think, I think Colin,
they both had time to think while you told an anecdote.
It is a spelling game after all.
Alright, I'm up next. All the right moves.
Nice!
For the last, for the L,
when Graham said leaving Las Vegas,
mine was life as we know it,
which either took place in or was shot in Atlanta.
Ooh.
And then my A, yours was what again?
All the right moves?
Oh, I'm allowed to do A again?
No, no, I just need to be reminded, because I went with ATL oh for reasons that I'm just
gonna keep to myself and they shot that at the 290 Club by the way sorry if I
can get a laugh with that in this mall
Then it's really, you can't get a laugh with it anywhere
Because there's a place called the 290 Club
That's correct
In this mall, what goes on in there?
Just like the ATL type shit
That's where Gucci Mane cracked that guy with a bottle last night
Is the 290 Club for people who just don't feel like going the full 360?
I'm tired, let's go to the 290 Club for people just don't feel like going the full 360? I'm tired. Let's go to the 290 tonight.
N.
Nightmare on Elm Street.
I'm sorry, Duncan.
It's called A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Oh.
Ridiculous.
Sorry.
Tough break
because there's so few movies
that begin with N.
It was a pretty big challenge.
It's a hard one.
I'm trying to think of any.
I can't either.
Well, you don't have to.
That's the great part about it.
You're right.
You should be worried
about another A.
Start thinking
while I tell my anecdote
about the letter N is a movie called Nine Months.
And I chose that because I'm going to be in San Francisco
on April 19th and April 20th at Cobb's Comedy Club.
Awesome plug.
Wow.
Way to weave in a plug, brother.
Fucking brilliant.
That's some serious weaving.
I dragged a giant loom out on stage, and I
fucking went to town.
Later, I'm gonna go to the 290 Club
and get kind of dizzy.
T. Graham.
My movie is
Tora! Tora! Tora!, which is about
the attack on Japan. I might go there
right after my
headline date, April 12th, at the
Improv in Hollywood, California
at GrahamElwood.com.
For the listeners, Graham stood up
and encouraged that reaction.
Is Matthew Fox in that one, too?
Yeah, Matt Fox is in Tar Tarts.
He's in a lot of movies about Imperial Japan.
That's how he made his career.
For my letter to you,
I went with three men and a baby featuring Colin Quinn.
What'd you say in that? Do you remember?
Were you behind the ghost of Ted Danson?
That's his area, not mine.
It wasn't the ghost of Ted Danson.
Duncan will tell you what happened with that one.
But it was like a
cardboard cutout of Ted Danson that people thought
was a ghost. I think.
I think that's what happened in that.
Yeah, you think. That's what they want you I think. I think that's what happened in that. Yeah, you think.
That's what they
want you to think.
Do you remember
what you did in that?
Yeah.
I was on the street
and I sold
a dinosaur
to Tom Selleck
and it was like
my first movie ever
so I was like
real nervous.
Tom Selleck was,
you know,
a big man.
And then he goes,
let's go rehearse
in my dressing room.
So for whatever reason
I was like,
I'm not going to go
rehearse.
I was like 195.
It's not like he'd be,
you know,
even if he was inclined.
But I didn't show up.
You don't like
dressing room handies
before time?
And then we show up
on the set and he goes,
hey, what's the matter with you?
I told you to show up.
And I just was like,
man, I didn't do that much.
Tom Selleck was mad?
He was mad
because he wanted to rehearse.
It taught me something.
He's a consummate professional.
And when he gets mad,
he sounds like Woody Allen, apparently.
I wanted to rehearse.
I said rehearse.
And then we were on the set.
Here's the saddest part.
Leonard Nimoy was before the Star Trek comeback.
And I almost said Star Wars.
See, I really don't know any of this shit.
Nimoy directed it. Nimoy directed it.
Nimoy directed it.
So he's like being
like the director.
He's got everybody
on 100th Street and Broadway
and he's like,
these kids get off the bus
and he's like trying to be
like a director now.
It's past Star Trek
and these kids see him
and they go,
yo, Spock, where your ears,
Spock, where your ears?
And you can tell he's like,
oh.
Yeah, he doesn't like that.
He's embracing it all over again now. I was going to say, a couple years later, he's like, here doesn't like that. He's embracing it all over again now.
I was going to say, a couple years later,
he's like, here's my fucking ears.
Where's my money?
Directing dream died right there
when they started throwing millions of dollars at him, I guess.
Okay, do you have an A for us, Colin?
What? Another A?
It never stops.
I said, did I say all the way?
It was, um um amistad
is that what you had that's a match
Yay!
Woo!
Unbelievable.
Wow.
So great.
Jesus, Mary Joseph.
Amistad, because it's one of your films and it's set in Atlanta.
Yes.
Woo!
For G, I had Grown Ups.
You're in that as well.
And then Outbreak
Which took place in Atlanta of course
Red
What about E?
What happened to E?
I didn't even pick one for E
You fucking asshole
You Georgia G-O-R
The E is there
It says E
I just didn't pick anything
I should pick something right now What did you pick next? Easy Rider It says E. I just didn't pick anything.
I should pick something right now. What did you pick next?
Easy Rider.
Okay, O, Outbreak.
R, Red, because I'm going to be in Toronto
on June 1st at the Comedy Bar.
Then the next G is Grown Ups 2.
Have you shot that yet?
Yes, it's in post.
A lot of effects probably being added to that.
And then the I, I went with Invasion USA,
because that takes place partially in Atlanta
or was filmed here.
And then the final A, I went with Altered States,
because that takes place in Boston,
where I will be May 19th.
Yes.
At the Brighton Music Hall.
And that is ABCD's Nuts, you guys.
Yay!
We done did it.
And now comes the part of the show
where I say, gentlemen,
pick your name tags.
Oh, shit!
Look at all these beautiful name tags.
These are amazing.
I'll pick Sex Panther because of my feud with Will Ferrell.
Wow, these are
amazing name tags.
Yeah, that son of a bitch is in Atlanta, too.
Don't let me catch him.
Billy Jack.
Do you get to keep the name tags?
That's negotiable with whoever made the name tag
that you want.
Does he get to keep that?
What?
There's no cords for that
Nintendo, so
he just got handed back.
Griefer Madness?
That's awesome.
Alright, I'll take
Billy Jack Ghost Protocol.
That's right. That's fucking old'll take Billy Jack Ghost Protocol. That's right.
That's fucking old school.
Billy Jack.
If he doesn't defend the hippies, who will?
One tin soldier.
It's Doug Benson's photo on there.
And it says, I hate racism in the American Southwest,
but I love movies!
I gotta vine that one, dude.
No pictures.
No pictures?
I came here to break the rules.
I think I'm allowed to take pictures.
Here, hold that up, Graham.
I'm gonna vine that shit.
And then I'm gonna turn around and vine the whole audience,
so bring your name tags out again
There's Graham's
That's awesome
Sweet
Sending it out right now you guys
What's the name of the game?
That's how fast it is Colin the internet
What's the name of the god damn game? Have fast it is, Colin, the internet. What's the name of the goddamn game?
Have you tried the internet? We were talking about
Twitter yesterday. What's your Twitter
handle? Is it your name spelled correctly?
I am Colin Quinn.
Oh, I am Colin Quinn. So follow
him because he loves it when you disagree with
his politics.
Whatever. Disagree with anything.
Tell him
how much you love comic book movies.
Yeah.
I've already done that one.
What do you mean?
Where I tried to troll people by telling them how much I hate comic book movies.
Even though I really don't like them.
But, you know, I don't feel passionately about them either way.
But I tried to get people going.
Didn't work out well.
Fair enough. This game is called the Leonard Maltin game.
And since you won ABCD's nuts, you get to go first, Colin. And basically this game is
Name That Tune. Remember Name That Tune? That TV show?
Where you guess how many notes it would take you to name a song?
This is with actors' names and movie titles instead of songs.
Whoa, whoa. Actors' names
or movie titles?
No, you have to name the title based on the
actors' names.
Okay.
I'm glad
you've agreed to play. Thank you very much. And what I'll do is I'll give you've agreed to play
Thank you very much
And what I'll do is I'll give you a choice
Between three categories
Types of movies to choose from
And then once you select a category
Then I will give you some clues
From Leonard Maltin's review
Which are usually not terribly helpful
Then I will tell you how many actors he lists
At the end of the review As having appeared in the film. Sometimes he lists quite quite a
few. And then you will tell me how many names you think out of that number of
names it would take you reading from the bottom of the list up how many would
take you to guess the title of the movie. What? So yeah. I have to tell you how many... That's why I wanted you to listen to the show. I can't just...
I can't just give my guess.
I have to tell you how many...
Mm-hmm.
This is absurd.
All right, let's do it.
I love it.
I love it.
I fucking hate it.
Go.
Go.
I'm all in.
This is only gonna go bad.
So you don't want me to guess.
You want me to tell you what my guess will be first.
You want me to estimate how much...
It's very simple.
He'll give you the times of the movie.
There's 12 total actors.
And I'll go, I can name it in 10.
Duncan will go, I can name it in 8.
You can say either name it to Duncan in 8
or you can say 6.
You know what I mean?
Bam.
Folks, that's over 300 episodes
Of game show television hosting right there
See some clips at GrahamElwood.com
I forgot to yell it at him
And tell him how simple it is
Listen here's what you do
It's easy
Fucking straighten up and fly right
Here we go
So one of the categories you can choose Fucking straighten up and fly right. Here we go.
So one of the categories you can choose is called Put Me in Coach,
and that's movies about air travel.
Or Wreck-It Ralph,
that's movies that Ralph Macchio was in
that bombed.
I'm sorry, is there...
There's one movie that didn't, and the rest of them?
There's not...
It's that Leonard gave the bomb designation to the movie.
Or your third choice would be suggested by
at Werter, W-I-R-T-E-R, on Twitter.
Take control of your city.
And that's movies that have a mayoral race in them.
That's awesome.
I guess...
Take control, Colin.
Yeah, I'm going with that one.
Take remote control, Colin.
Take control., Colin. Take remote control.
All right.
That joke was, I had to.
I apologize.
I'll go with that third one.
Okay.
The mayoral one.
Okay.
Now you get to decide between two.
Political thrillers, you know?
If you say so.
I've been watching House of Cards.
You ever watch that?
I haven't seen any of it. of Cards. You ever watch that?
I haven't seen any of it.
It's good.
You can watch the whole season in a day if you have the right diaper.
The right diaper.
I tried to watch House of Cards.
Wrong diaper.
Shit was falling out everywhere.
Trying to watch Kevin Spacey
You get to pick a year
You get to narrow it down even further
What?
Yeah
Would you like 2004 or 1985?
What the hell?
2004, I guess
A movie that features a mayoral race
2004
Okay
Now here's your clues
Leonard Maltin gives it
three stars out of
bomb to four stars.
The year is 2004.
He says this movie is
about an easygoing
hardware store owner.
And he also says that
actor Edward Herman
appears unbilled.
Have you ever appeared unbilled in something?
Unfortunately, no.
Okay.
They always slap your name on there, above the title.
And Leonard Maltin lists about nine names.
So now that's the question, is how many names?
And when you get to go first, you could just say nine names names So then you get to hear all if the next person challenges you I
Mean, I don't think I'll be able to name this goddamn movie in 50 names
Great poker face my friends a great. It's a great strategy to let the other players know
What dire straits you're in? Oh?
I thought I got
to go first anyway.
No, only one person will get
to guess it. I'll say the names once we
determine how many you're going to do it.
So you say nine names.
Yeah, why not? Take all nine.
Okay, then we go to Duncan.
I can't do... I told you.
When you asked me to do this, I told you.
I don't know anything about movies.
But you weren't holding your glasses at the time,
so I did not think you were serious.
I don't know anything about...
I could never do this.
Well, at least Graham isn't good at this either.
So, this will be quite the competition.
So then you probably, Duncan, would want to say, Colin Quinn, name that movie.
Name that movie.
All right.
So I'm going to say all nine names.
I'm going to say all nine names.
All right.
And then you'll tell me the name of the movie.
Geez, I don't think I can get it. I have fucking nine names. I think with all nine names, you you'll tell me the name of the movie. Geez, I hope I can get it.
I think with all nine names you have a good chance.
I think so too.
Alright, here you go.
Wayne Robson.
What?
The great Wayne Robson.
It's nine names. Some might be a little more obscure than others.
Like June Squib.
Squibber.
But then it gets... these are all known people
from here on in. Rip Torn,
Fred Savage,
Christine Baranski,
Mora...
Mora Tierney,
Marsha Gay Harden,
Ray Romano,
and Gene Hackman
in
bombs
God damn it
Citizen Ruth
I know the movie but I can't remember what it's called
It's called Welcome to Mooseport
It's hard to remember
And Duncan Trussel is on the board
With one point
Shit
It's the game anyone can win
Great
Literally anyone can win this game
And today's anyone is probably
Going to be Duncan
Amazing
Very well done
I thought it was going to be like Big Amazing. Very well done.
I thought it was going to be like, you know,
big city, like, you know, intrigue.
Oh, it's pretty intriguing.
Yeah, welcome to Mooseport.
They both want to be mayor, Ray Romano and Gene Hackman.
And Gene Hackman's got one foot out the door of show business.
Because he hasn't
made a movie since. He's like, you know,
welcome to Mooseport.
Fuck this movie business.
I was in French Connection.
Yeah.
And now I'm fucking standing in fucking Mooseport.
Now I'm standing around trying to beat somebody in a mayor's race who keeps going,
I'm acting opposite one of those cans you turn over and it makes a mooing sound.
I'm running opposite one of those cans you turn over and it makes a mooing sound. I'm running for mayor.
I love Ray Romano.
You love him.
Sure.
Old time friend.
Yeah.
Sure.
All right, Graham, you get to go first this round.
All right.
We're playing to two points, Colin.
You still have a chance at this.
Graham, it's Curtis Hanson's birthday today.
Oh, that's right.
The director, Curtis Hanson.
So the films of Curtis Hanson.
And then, at Ibleedblue, B-L-O-O, suggested opening day,
because baseball's opening day is happening soon, right?
Yes.
Braves? Yes.
And there's a gentleman that comes to the show every week
out in Los Angeles named Jordan,
and his name tag is always a baseball,
so I asked him over Twitter what his favorite baseball movie is.
So it's Jordan's favorite baseball movie.
All right.
Or, you know, a favorite amongst the newer players in theaters now.
Because that, of course, is movies that are playing in theaters now.
Let's go Jordan's baseball movie.
Come on!
Baseball!
Oh, and may he rest in peace, by the way.
I did that because he died a couple days ago.
Jesus! Jesus! Oh, and may he rest in peace, by the way. I did that because he died a couple days ago. Jesus.
Jesus.
People are going to be so happy to see him on Tuesday
in his front row seat.
What if he really does die between now and Tuesday?
Then I'm going to have to start wishing for people I really want to die.
Yeah.
I'm going to have to put this to use.
Sorry. Ooh, Michael Bay. to put this to use. Sorry.
Ooh, Michael Bay.
We lost another good one.
Damn it.
I like that guy.
Should have played Powerball.
Oh, I thought you said Michael Bane.
No, not Michael Bane.
All right, so...
Let's not stand on ceremony, Doug Benson.
Colin doesn't know what you're doing.
No, I know that one, yeah.
Let's start with you, Graham, obviously,
because you picked a category,
but then we'll go to Duncan and then to Colin.
Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie
that has baseball in it.
He calls it innocuous,
and he also says it was followed by a direct-to-video sequel.
What year?
And the year is 1993.
Oh, I know it.
Leonard lists...
I know it.
Leonard lists 11 names.
How many names, Graham Elwood, do you think you need?
Um, I will go eight.
Okay, Duncan, you have to either bid lower.
I'll take a lifeline.
Or you could say to Graham,
name this movie.
Oh, name the movie.
What about me?
I could get it zero.
Sometimes you get boxed out, Colin.
It's the nature of the game. Now you know how I felt two minutes ago.
Oh, really?
You guys were like,
nine names.
I don't even know nine names.
Doug's like,
I'm going to spell out the title
without the last letter.
I don't know.
It's confusing.
That nice world made me whack off
the Phoenix Boy.
I like to wrap them all together.
If he doesn't get it, do we get to guess?
For fun, you can, sure.
Oh, fucking fun, no.
Great.
I think you might be wrong.
I know I'm right, but go ahead.
Okay.
That'll be cool.
Want to make a side bet right now, you son of a bitch?
Yes!
Oh, side action!
Side action!
Side action!
Holy shit!
Side action, ladies and gentlemen.
My favorite.
Oh!
There's a let alone connoisseur
in the Doug Nub's movie's constitution.
My favorite part.
My favorite part was when
immediately the dude's gonna go,
come on, we're gonna play.
He goes, yes!
You got a 20?
Throw it down there on the ground.
Yeah! Side action, you guys
Side action
And the loser's gotta take his pants off
Side action
Okay, Graham, so I'm counting on you to not know it
Because if you say it, then it's gonna ruin our bet
Well, I could put it on a piece of paper and hand it to you
Oh, good idea
Nice If you say it, then it's going to ruin our bet. Well, I could put it on a piece of paper and hand it to you. Oh, good idea.
Nice.
You could write it on one of the 20s.
So complicated.
Here, I got a Sharpie.
I got a Sharpie.
Write down the name of the movie.
This is like we're doing now.
It's like a magic show.
And what I want you to do is I want you to... Don't show me the money.
Don't show...
Did you guys see Jerry Maguire 2 when they said, don't show me the money. Don't show me. Did you guys see
Jerry Maguire 2
when they said
don't show me the money?
Yeah.
Don't let me look at it.
And then after you
write your name
and social security
on it,
I want you to
rip it up.
You lost me
at hello.
All right.
You wrote it down.
There it is.
All right.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can't wait
to get that 40 bucks
Head over it so it doesn't blow away
Okay, good idea
Ladies and gentlemen
It's very breezy up here today
Hey, do you guys want to stand up too?
This is awkward
Sure, let's do it
Thanks
We are all stand up comics
So, it's not bad Okay How many names? Eight? We are all stand-up comics.
So, uh, it's not bad.
Okay.
How many names? Eight?
Yes.
Okay. Here's your eight names.
You want the clues again?
Uh, yes.
Innocuous and direct-to-video sequel.
And it's a baseball movie with two and a half stars from 1993.
So you didn't even need the clues again. I just want them.
And watch Colin's face as what he thought it was
drains from his...
The names are Art LaFleur,
Maury Wills,
James Earl Jones,
Karen Allen,
oh, Colin might know this, after all.
Dennis Leary.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Shit!
What the fuck?
Shit.
Oh my god.
Brandon Adams.
Marty York.
Give me my winnings.
And uh... Is that eight yet?
No.
Oh, Chauncey Leopard.
Leopard?
L-E-O-P-A-R-D. Leopard.
Chauncey Leopard.
Look, he's really laughing up now with that extra 20.
Ha ha ha ha.
You're living large.
Yeah, I didn't know I was going to make some money today.
Yeah.
I feel pretty good about it.
Damn it.
Graham, what's it called?
Oh, Jesus.
I know it now.
Oh.
Fucking bastards.
All right, Graham,
no laughing while you're trying to think.
Yes.
Angels in the outfield.
That's what I was thinking.
That's what Colin wrote down on his 20.
It's a fucking sandlot.
The answer is the sandlot.
And Duncan Trussell is our winner.
Duncan Trussell won.
Thank you.
You won the whole game.
Thank you.
God damn it!
I apologize to you, sir.
This was an embarrassment.
I should have said ten names.
He would have told me to name it in ten.
Let's play another round, though,
to give Colin and I a chance for double or nothing.
Let's do it.
One more round.
One more round.
Yeah, but you win the prizes. It was JT that you were playing for. I think I never said that.
Oh, dude. Congratulations.
Congratulations.
JT.
JT's a big fan. He's seen us before.
All that stuff, yeah.
That's a great girls' palm strike shirt, so fucking slim into that, sweetheart.
Sweetheart.
Oh, he gave it to his lady Aren't you precious
That's what you guys should do
Colin what did you do with that shirt that was your name tag
I gave it back
Oh okay does it have a shithead
Okay here we go
Cause as a consolation prize
I will name a shithead on her behalf
Who's that Robin Treuer
No it's the girl from Billy Jack
I think
Dolores Taylor I didn't know that it's the girl from Billy Jack, I think.
Dolores Taylor.
I didn't know that.
It's written on there.
I love my face on Billy Jack.
She was in The Sandlot 2.
The Sandlot?
God damn it.
I was like, then it's Larry. 1993, vacuous.
I was like, it's got to be vacuous I was like it's gotta be
Angels in the Outfield
they made a part two
Tony Danza
David Glover
yeah that film
was also innocuous
but
what does this say
on the snapchat
oh okay
good one
good one
she even added
a hashtag at the end
good one
good one and on the back of the album
He wrote do not read out loud
Who was the
Oh Jack or Billy
Bill
You couldn't find the
Kill Bill soundtrack
You had to go with Billy Jack
Billy Jack's better
Okay I don't know what just happened but moving on You had to go with Billy Jack? Billy Jack's better. Hmm? Okay.
I don't know what just happened,
but moving on.
Let's play one more round.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's do it.
Yeah, we got a couple minutes left.
Son of a bitch.
That's brutal.
That game really takes a lot out of you.
It does.
It's exhausting. It's a fucking out of you. It does. It's exhausting.
It's a fucking emotional rollercoaster.
But just so that Duncan
doesn't just say name it again,
let's...
Don't.
Let's start with Graham
and then go to Colin.
Okay.
Okay?
Sure.
So Duncan will be third,
so maybe that won't happen again.
Done.
But well played, sir.
Thanks, I guess.
I don't know what... This happened in the last one, too.
It's just like... You won the last time you won?
I won the last time I was on just by being dumb.
You added the glasses,
and now it's perfect. Yeah.
The fact that that's... What's-his-name's favorite baseball movie
is a fucking idiot. Like, I could name
ten baseball movies.
How can you talk that way about a dead person?
He's dead. He can't hear it.
He even has to be buried in a sandlot.
And Dennis Leary did the eulogy.
Oh man, that was a rant.
He went off.
Okay. he went off okay Graham did I say Graham's gonna pick?
yes sir
would you like Not for Emetophobes
that's a movie that has a copious amount of vomiting in it
or
Some Assembly Required
that's a movie that has
you know what I'm gonna skip that one Colin
because it's one that has two or more of the Avengers in it
I mean do you or more of the Avengers in it.
I mean, do you know who played the Avengers,
even though you didn't see it? Scarlett Johansson?
She played two of them, yes.
My two favorites.
What's my favorite Avenger?
I love those superheroes.
Captain America, I've heard of him.
Tits and ass, Chris Evans.
Is it an Avenger?
True.
I'll give you a better one.
I'll give you one that you're more likely to get.
Jack the Giant Slayer fan.
That's movies that have a concert scene in them.
Oh.
And then the greatest movie ever, Rowald.
And Rowald is spelled R-O-A-L-D,
and it's movies adapted from Rowald Dahl works.
That's a good one.
Which one of those do you like, Graham?
Not from Metaphobes, Rowald Dahl, or...
The concert one.
The concert one.
Jack the Giant Slayer fan.
All right, this movie has a concert scene, at least one in it,
and it is from 1984. Leonard gives it three stars.
He calls it admirably precise,
and he also says that
some of the characters in the movie were in a series
of appearances
and a TV special.
And he lists...
That's a weird clue.
He lists nine names.
The TV special based on the movie?
Or they're all in a series?
Wow.
Graham gets to bid first.
Fine. Jesus, I wasn't trying to jump in. Oh, wait a series. Wow. Graham gets to bid first. Fine. Jesus, I wasn't trying to jump in.
Oh, wait a minute.
Just reminding everybody where we were.
Oh, fuck it. We're not playing for anything.
I'll just go
zero. I think I got it.
All right.
Now I got to explain this to Colin.
I challenge you.
I'm going to go ahead and sit down.
I know the game. I challenge you. I'm gonna go ahead and sit down. I know the game. I challenge you.
You do?
You challenge him?
No.
Do you think you know what the movie is?
No.
Okay, then challenge him.
I challenge you.
Sir?
I accept your challenge.
Sir, you're a rascal.
I'm a scoundrel.
All right, so your name's Graham.
What is it?
Fame.
People in the audience said no before I could.
No.
Get out of our barn.
Don't I get to guess now?
If you want to, for fun.
Well, he's right.
It had a concert in it,
and they did have a series of people that did a special,
or at least did a few shows after it
that some of them were in it,
but maybe it wasn't 1984.
So it was a good try, fella.
Now me, I've always felt...
Fella.
I've always felt...
This could just be...
Um...
The fuck was out in 1984?
That's the real question.
Oh, you asked if you could guess,
but you don't have any idea yet?
No, that was the way it's played.
I get to guess if he missed.
For fun, sure.
Fuck this goddamn game.
Yeah!
How come everybody else gets prizes
and me and my boy Sex Panther it's fucking fun it doesn't count
I wouldn't lower myself to guess at this point
Sex Panther's gonna win in her own way
Sex Panther
cause I'm gonna name a shithead for her at the end of the show
alright well what is it then
I'm not gonna make a fool of myself
and guess something wrong again and again
how come Sidebent
he has no idea what was it this is Spinal Tap again and again. What is it? Side bet. How's a side bet?
He has no idea.
What was it?
Spinal tap.
This is spinal tap.
Wait a minute.
What fucking series of TV...
They didn't say a special.
They said a series
of TV appearances.
Oh, like Letterman
They did a series of...
All right.
Fair enough.
I'll give him that one.
The clues are supposed to be confusing.
God damn it.
That's sort of the...
Come again?
I know.
This should be like a real show.
You know what I mean?
You could make money off this goddamn show.
All the...
I'm saying like all the clever names and stuff.
You know.
Yeah.
Pretty impressive.
Maybe I will listen to this now.
Yeah, you can learn about comic book movies.
I thought it was just a fucking, yeah,
I thought it was just a bunch of, like,
pot jokes for fucking two hours.
I didn't know.
Have I made any yet?
No.
Oh, okay, let me think of one.
But this is...
Or, you know what?
I'll go outside and smoke some and then come back in
while you're on tonight.
Who's gonna stay to see Colin Quinn tonight?
Nice.
Nice.
Hey, at least you're honest,
you motherfuckers.
But they're not gonna clap
if they can't stay.
That would be weird.
Yeah, no, it wouldn't.
That's how it's done in showbiz.
It's fantastic. And you're like, we're not sick.'t. That's how it's done in show business. Fantastic.
Let's try it again.
When you get out to the call, you go, you weren't serious
about staying. Fuck no. Get in the call. Don't worry about it.
Who's going to stay to see Colin Quinn tonight?
Oh, folks.
Thank you so much.
Fantastic.
We'll edit that other part out.
I'm not going to remember to do that.
And I just did a pot joke.
Oh, shit.
Graham, do you got anything to plug?
Yeah.
Oh, that's weird.
What?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Can I just stop for one second?
Not to be a dick, but I'm going to be one anyway.
You call that a fucking plug?
The fact that people that are already here,
a few are going to stay,
and you're going to play this a week from now
whenever you play your podcast?
Hey, Carl, I plugged your gig.
Fuck you.
This doesn't count as a fucking plug.
Go ahead, Graham.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
I asked all three of you
for your points.
I just started with Graham.
He's a loser.
Oh, what a cocksucker
this fucking mope.
Yeah, you got all my tour dates
and everything.
My podcast, Comedy Film Nerds
is all at GrahamEllis.com.
And his blokes take a long time.
So that's why I started with him.
Well, it was fun,
but then you interrupted,
so now we're going to lengthen it out.
I'm going to be working out next week.
Maybe do some surfing in Southern California.
Come on by. I'll be in Malibu, maybe.
You'll see me with my palm strike board.
It's fucking environmentally friendly.
How you guys doing?
Made from entropyresins.com.
So who's going to stay tonight to watch Graham surf?
Yay!
See, they're just honest.
They can't help themselves.
Duncan?
When does this come out?
Soon, like a day or two.
I'm going on tour starting tomorrow.
I'm going to be in Athens, Georgia.
Arlington Draft House.
I'm going to be in Brooklyn.
It's all week.
It's at my website,
dunkintrussell.com, all over the East Coast.
Come see me there.
Check it out!
Don't let people in D.C. tell you that the Arlington Drafthouse
isn't in D.C. because it is right
fucking across the river.
It's very easy to get to and they should shut up.
I agree.
Okay, Colin.
I'll be coming out this summer.
Sandlot 2 with Dennis Leary.
Thank you very much.
Colin Quinn, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
I guess you're all going to leave, okay.
All right, I'm just going to stay and do
Hal Holbrook as Mark Twain.
I remember the time we had a
frog jumping contest.
And I endured.
Thank you guys so much for coming.
I always have a great time here in Atlanta.
Thank you to the Punchline,
the best comedy barn in the world.
And to all my guests,
Graham Elwood, Duncan Trestle, Colin Quinn,
as always, Howard Hesseman is a shithead.
You know Howard Hesseman from,
he was in This Is Spinal Tap,
and he was Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati.
So finally, a true shithead has been outed
For his total shitheadedness
And
Hashtag masturbation
The phoenix kid from the master is a shithead
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk
He has a bold and viewing crowd With big tip cocky Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
He has a bold and viewing crowd with big-tip cockies
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies