Doug Loves Movies - Dale Cheesman, Jacob Sirof and Gabe Bravo guest
Episode Date: May 25, 2017Live from the Improv in Houston, Doug welcomes Dale Cheesman, Jacob Sirof and Gabe Bravo to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https:/.../art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats,
red dandy ads, and hot pot kernels in his teeth.
There's still a point that he won't see,
but Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Nicely done.
I feel like my mic might be a little
on the hot side,
so if we can back it down just a little bit.
I think it's already almost perfect.
We're coming to you once again
from the improv in Houston, Texas.
Oh, my goodness.
It's Wednesday, May 24th, 2017.
And we all know everything's bigger in Texas.
So let me see those gigantic name tags, guys see look at this shit the world's biggest name tags and most of them in the front row so you
can't see the other giant name tags how to train your drag. And it's for the listeners.
It's completely hand-drawn.
Yeah, indeed.
So very well done.
This guy just used computers and shit to make his.
But it is a big one.
Chris, Chris, bang, bang.
I like that.
You didn't bother photoshopping any new faces on there.
You stuck with the originals.
Downey Jr. and Kilmer.
Patman forever.
Starring Doug Benson, Jeff Tate, Mark Wahlberg, Graham Elwood.
Well, one of us is here.
The never ending Dory.
You couldn't find a poster
For finding Dory
She's like I know the name Dory
Is in a title already
But I want to have a pun in mine
Right you want to be like
Everybody else don't you Dory
You don't have to answer that
You don't remember past three seconds
Wait This one's trippy don't you, Dory? You don't have to answer that. You don't remember past three seconds.
Wait.
This one's trippy.
We all know the movie Black Swan,
and we all love Shaun of the Dead,
but what about Black Shaun of the Dead? That is disturbing.
So you put your face on Sean's face,
and then that's me next to you,
and you left the girl alone.
And then you made me Natalie Portman in Black Swan,
but with a fucking joint in her mouth,
in his mouth, her mouth.
I don't know.
And then, I don't know if I want to get into this.
Meet Joe Black.
What's your name?
And what are you?
Joe Black.
Meet Joe Black, everybody.
Finally.
Finally, the correct racial casting of that role.
Just on a poster.
But good job, Joe.
Time for some Doug plugs.
Thursday, I'm not doing anything,
but then this Saturday... You don't need to know what I'm up to on Thursday, you guys.
This Saturday, May 27th,
Doug Loves Movies is at the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio.
Anybody in a road trip for that one?
I thought there might be one weirdo How long is that drive from here?
About three hours
Three hours? That's not too bad
But I wouldn't do it
Douglas Movies is back in Los Angeles
At Meltdown Comics
On Monday, May 29th.
That's going to be a sweet one.
And the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, North Carolina, Saturday, June 3rd, 4.20 in the afternoon.
Let's do one more.
Cobbs in San Francisco on Saturday, June 10th at 4.20.
For more dates, stand-up shows where you can play Douglas Movies games on stage with me
and also more Douglas Movies tapings. There's more dates than you can shake Doug Loves Movies games on stage with me and also more Doug Loves Movies tapings.
There's more dates than you can shake a dick at
at DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com.
Let's look in the prize bag, shall we?
It's a beautiful...
Do you have Ralph's Grocery Stores here?
No.
Is there...
Whoa.
You're very angry about it.
It is kind of
a weird name for a place where you get
food. Ralph's.
But anyway,
regardless of whether or not you can keep
their food down,
that's where I grocery shop.
$10 for a bag. I'm not gonna
waste it. I'm passing it on
to you guys.
Speaking of passing things on, I don't know what
that means. Here's
my CD, one of my CDs,
the most recent one.
A
I thought about blowing this up and then batting
it around the room, but I think the lighting fixtures
or the candles might get fucked up.
But basically, it's a beach ball
that I caught at a hangout festival
and then deflated and then carried around all day.
This is how high I was.
I was like, I'm going to blow this up at the Houston Improv
and then bat it around the room.
And it really does sound like fun, doesn't it?
But not a great idea. So I put it in, it's in sound like fun, doesn't it? But not a great idea.
So I put it in, it's in the prize bag,
along with a Douglas Movies T-shirt,
a very big one, so you can wear that to go to bed
if you're a lady and you win.
iTunes gift card for 15 bucks.
You can buy iTunes stuff.
Not stock. It's $15 worth of iTunes stuff. Not stock.
It's $15 worth of iTunes stock.
Some gum that I got at the Hangout Festival.
It's got a little doggie on it,
and it says,
Who's awesome?
You're awesome.
On gum.
I don't get it.
Don't recommend you eat it.
A pipe from my friends at Peacemaker.
And this might be the best thing in the gift bag.
Brought to us by our friend Will Leonard,
who comes to all the Houston shows,
has a sheet that he has comedians and myself sign.
How many times have I signed it?
Nine times.
Nine times.
Yeah, every time he sees me, I sign the sheet.
So I'm going to sign it for the 10th time tonight?
I'm hoping so, too,
because there's a chance I might sneak out the back.
Good luck, Will.
But thank you for bringing this.
He wrote, Doug, I know you might not want to announce this.
It's not that cool, but it's for the prize bag.
And I disagree with you.
I think this is one of the coolest things that's ever happened.
There's a local production.
Will's involved in the Alley Theater here.
And they're doing a musical version of Freaky Friday.
Right?
Who's already excited?
And
it plays for one month only,
June 2 to 2 at the
Alley Theater. Go to alleytheater.org
for more information.
But someone tonight is winning
two complimentary tickets to see
Freaky Friday.
Why isn't that a Broadway thing, the Freaky Friday musical?
How is it going to be starting here at the Alley Theater?
It's on its way.
It's on its way to Broadway. Oh, that's wonderful.
It's just going to bounce all around the country
and then end up at Broadway?
Or just Houston straight to Broadway?
Okay.
But thank you for that, Will.
And thank you guys for being here tonight.
I know it's a Wednesday night.
There's a lot of great TV.
There's a brand new Fresh Off the Boat.
What?
What'd you yell? Fargo?
Is Fargo on Wednesdays?
I just watch it, you know, later, so I don't
know
when and where it airs, so
thank you for missing out on Fargo
tonight.
What's it on? Nine?
Eight? Eight? Eight?
It's...
I know you're
Central time,
but...
I think Fargo's
on at ten
Eastern and Pacific
and nine Central.
It's really violent. But I and 9 Central. It's really violent.
But I could be wrong.
Shit's really violent on AMC on Sundays at 9 o'clock,
so I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
We got three very funny dudes coming out here
to participate tonight.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Gabe Bravo,
Dale Cheeseman and Jacob
Searoff
hello everyone who said that I did did. All right. Gabe, congratulations.
Your first time on the show,
and you've already won the Pete Holmes Award.
Oh.
And check this out.
So I really won it, I guess?
No, that means it's 19 minutes after the hour,
so I'm going to have to ask the audience to please forgive me,
but I'm going to leave the stage because it's almost 4 after the hour, so I'm going to have to ask the audience to please forgive me, but I'm going to leave the stage
because it's almost 4.20 somewhere,
and I will be back in a few minutes.
That's a little too...
That's too much into ritual
if you have to get up and leave the room
at 19 minutes after the hour
every hour.
Yeah, I don't sleep all night, you guys.
I just sleep for an hour, get high,
sleep for another hour,
get high,
watch an hour of Archer,
get high, sleep for another hour.
It's great.
Let's meet my guests individually,
starting with the winner
of the aforementioned Pete Holmes Award.
It's Gabe Bravo, everybody!
Oh, hey, everybody.
How y'all doing?
We should have got some, like,
lesser stools, smaller stools
in between us for you guys to put your drinks.
But you're professionals. You know how to
handle it. You just put them right there on the
ground.
On the stage. Right in kicking distance
too. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
going to be people in the front are in the splash
zone tonight.
It's like a Gallagher show. There's a guy up front with a
Dr. Pepper shirt on. You're a Pepper?
I'm a Doctor.
I'm a Pepper. Oh, you're also a Doctor?
Son of a bitch.
You certainly are a Pepper.
You're a spicy young man.
Gabe Bravo is a
Houston comedy phenom
and first time
guest on the show. How do you think
you'll do in terms of
movie trivia? The gentleman to your left there, he does pretty good on the show. How do you think you'll do in terms of movie trivia? The gentleman to your left there,
he does pretty good on this show.
I'm going to fail miserably.
Oh, okay. Yeah, but I brought
some prize bag goodies, I think,
to make up for it a little bit. Alright, well we'll get back
to you on that in a second. Alright.
Speaking of failing miserably, Dale Cheeseman
is back, everybody.
Hey.
How you doing buddy?
I'm good. It's good to see you again.
You made your debut on this very stage
on this show.
You were on with... All those many nights.
Who were you on with? Mark Wahlberg was here maybe?
Mark Wahlberg and Tim
something from Dallas.
Oh that guy.
That's right. The actor.
Yeah and his actual actor.
None of his roles had names,
so it was hard to remember his real name.
Right.
Yeah, because he was like security guy number two
in Hunger Games number seven.
And he'll always be security guard number two to me.
In your heart.
Yeah, that's how I personally...
But he was better at movie trivia than you were?
I wouldn't say that.
I'd say that the rules were grossly broken in his favor.
Did he win that day?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
No, no, Mark won.
Oh, okay.
But he lost and came back into the rounds a few times.
But it wasn't my place to say anything.
Probably shouldn't have brought it up right now.
I think you might have not understood
that we move on and play another game
and that everyone gets to play.
I wasn't just letting him back in.
No, sure, we'll blame me.
It's fine.
It's fine.
We'll figure this out tonight,
but thank you for coming back.
I appreciate it.
Have you been studying movies in the interim?
I've been focusing on, like, one actor in particular,
and I'm hoping it comes up.
Hoping that one comes up.
Yeah.
Shit, I'd ask you to tell us who it is,
but I want the person in the audience
to not be swayed to say or not say that name.
Yeah, it would suck if anyone said David Arquette.
How many do you think you could name?
Well, I didn't just, I should have just studied the page.
I started just kind of watching movies.
I figured I would go through the journey to learn about him.
You watched all of his films?
I've gotten through, it's tough.
I've gotten through about five of them.
So you think you could last five rounds?
Or do you think people will take some of those titles
and then you'll be out before you know it?
Well, four of them are sequels, so...
You know what? Never mind.
Just forget about David Arquette.
I would do terribly on David Arquette.
I guess... That's the idea.
Oh, wait.
No, I just thought of four David Arquette movies.
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
And bless them for not making their titles complicated.
They just slap a number on it and get on with their lives.
All right, well, we'll see how that works out for you later.
I think we already know.
But that would have been very competitive, I think,
if we had done his name.
Because, like I said, joining us tonight
is someone who probably knows his own record
better than I know it
But it's Jacob Sear off everybody
I don't know my record but some guy I did a podcast with some guy recently and he read there's a wiki that keeps track
And it was tough it was bullshit. It was he told me oh you thought they were wrong
I know it was wrong because it said it said that I had been on 12 times
and was 34th of the 24% winning percent.
And I'm like, that would mean I won three times.
I've won three times in certain venues.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Just in certain venues.
Certain venues.
In certain area codes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, that chick has...
She's missing a sleeve, and that's been bothering me.
This girl has one sleeve on.
I don't know, I know that's great podcast material.
Some people have that one hot arm disease.
I take it.
It's very Padme, Attack of the Clones.
Yeah, okay.
I'm into it.
Also, I want to hope these guys...
Also, yeah, cover all your grounds,
everything you want to get into.
Okay.
Well, can, I want to, these guys,
there's like two single people sitting facing, it looks like star-crossed into. Okay. Well, can... I want to... These guys... There's, like, two single people sitting facing...
It looks like star-crossed lovers.
Can these guys...
Can we get these guys on a team?
Is that...
Is that Cindy?
Are you Cindy?
Oh, she...
You work here.
Cindy tweeted about how, like,
she thought she'd be put at a table
with three other people,
make some new friends,
and then they're just like,
here, just sit by yourself up front.
Is that an accurate telling of your story?
How'd that happen to you? Same thing?
My wife!
See? It went somewhere. Valuable.
Yeah, thanks. Thanks, Jacob.
I knew there was going to be my wife coming.
Thanks for your help.
But I want to point out to everybody that you made a very nice pledge to me recently.
And from my recent cursory look at all the name tags,
I don't think your dreams are going to come true.
But Jacob said that if someone tonight
had a name tag that involved Roger Moore,
the late, great Roger Moore, in some way, that he would have had a name tag that involved Roger Moore, the late, great Roger Moore,
in some way, that he would have chosen
that name tag.
Did anyone do that?
Put Roger Moore in somehow?
Does anybody know who Roger Moore is?
Just raises her hand.
He just passed away.
He was our second of,
I think it's been 45 James Bonds.
And, uh, but he was, by all accounts, he was a great dude and he was a great James Bond.
And so you said you'd pick that instead of Star Wars, which means now you have to pick a Star Wars one.
I'm okay with that.
Did anyone make a Star Wars themed poster tonight?
There's a gentleman right there.
What's yours about?
It's Eric So's four.
And no work on the
photos, huh?
I do like the Eric putting the
name in the episode instead of in the word
episode.
What's that name?
Grow? Is your last name?
Yeah.
You got his last name in there.
Yeah.
Grow?
Your name is Eric Grow?
Yeah.
Am I missing a joke or something?
They're saying it sounds kind of like host.
He's bragging about the layers of the name tag.
Okay.
It's not just surface level.
Okay, so definitely not that one.
What is your guys doing in the back?
Wait, there was another Star Wars one? Yeah. Oh, what's
that one? I already like it better. Sorry,
girl.
I am girl.
The Phantom Marissa.
Episode one, Phantom Marissa.
Phantom Marissa. It's the worst one.
We were all
thinking. Well, wait, which worst what?
It's not the worst name tag. Worst movie. The Phantom Marissa is not the worst what? It's not the worst name tag
Worst movie
The Phantom Marissa is not the worst name
Yeah, right
Also there's no worst one, you're incorrect
Can we get this guy out of here please?
You can hate on it all you want
It's fine by me
But It's fine by me.
But it's up to you, Jacob.
You can choose either of those or anybody you want.
Yeah, they both are pretty weak.
I'll probably go with someone with some effort.
But I like how committed you are to Star Wars, though.
I try.
I like that about you.
It's a failing property.
I'm trying to keep it afloat.
All right. Let's talk prize bag. Gabe, what to keep it afloat. All right.
Let's talk prize bag.
Gabe, what do you got for us?
I got several things.
I have this Billy Wayne Davis record, Live at Third Man Records.
He and I do some shows together sometimes.
There it is on vinyl, you guys.
And that was recorded live at Third Man.
It's excellent.
I recommend that highly.
And so look for us in a city near you.
I also, I'm the spokesperson for a hot sauce company.
So I made them give me free shit.
It's bravado spice. It's extremely delicious.
Got some pineapple habanero. We got some green apple jalapeno.
We got some crimson special reserve. It's very spicy.
You can trick somebody with that and make them hurt real bad.
And then regular crimson hot sauce.
That's how you gotta trick them in the first place.
Tell them it's regular, and then you give them the special reserve.
I also have, just so you know,
I've got some t-shirts.
Let's see, this one is for the secret group.
It's a club that I work at and helped found.
Yeah.
And then for the festival that we do,
Come and Take It, Comedy Takeover.
I got a t-shirt for that.
I forget what sizes they are.
I guess I could check, but I don't really care.
Here's some tickets to secret group shit.
Some for Emo Phillips.
Some for a show we do called Two Dollar Bill.
Every Wednesday, check that one out.
And then some tickets for Bad Idea.
It's the third Friday of every month,
and it's outside, which is a terrible idea in Houston.
So that's why it's called that one.
And then I have a show here tomorrow called Night Brunch.
I'm playing drums and doing comedy.
I have just a handwritten four passes to that.
So if you want to just text me or tweet me after the show, if you get this, and then I'll get you on the guest list or whatever.
Tomorrow night, Thursday?
Yeah.
Oh, as we all know, I don't have any plans.
Oh.
You should come by.
All right.
You should play drums.
Well, thank you for bringing all of that stuff.
That's pretty sweet.
We maybe should have went to you third.
Whoops. my bad.
You guys are going to look like real pieces of shit.
This is some heavy hot sauce.
That's right.
It's very dense.
That's the one thing.
That's their call to fame.
Very dense hot sauce.
All right.
Have fun walking around with a bag and a heavy box and an album.
What else do we have for them?
A rake and an album. What else do we have for them? A rake and a saddle?
We have a unitard and triangular weights
if you want to be a strong man
and just carry everything at once.
What do you got, Jacob?
Oh, um...
I almost brought a box of hot sauce.
I'm so glad I didn't.
Nothing too crazy today, but, you know, I'm probably
going to win, so you're going to get it, whoever I play for.
This is a Mary Jane. I'm re-swagging
some stuff I got on getting done with
this Mary Jane company that makes cool
weed stuff. There's a decal.
You brought the sticker. I brought the sticker,
but also the hat.
Their hat, which is pretty cool.
That's like a nice, I don't know if you can tell, that's weed
on the hat. It's a subtle weed hat.
It's like subtle, but it's definitely weed.
It could be a rising sun in the east.
It's definitely weed.
And then I got this, oh, dropped the sticker.
I got this DVD of a movie I've never heard of called We Are the Best.
And it was in my house.
I have no idea how it got there.
But it's still in cellophane.
I think that's a good movie.
Yeah, it's in the cellophane.
I've been hearing from people that it's good.
Is it?
I don't even know what year.
It was like in a closet.
It's like about a bunch of kids who start a punk band
and they just keep screaming, we're the best.
But they're like in Sweden or something
and they're chicks that look like dudes
and that's really in right now.
Oh, not in this part of the country,
but everywhere else.
People are like supporting that kind of thing.
You guys will catch up in like 30 years.
I can't believe you're giving that up,
but thank you very much.
Well, DVD is like the new vinyl, I think.
Yeah, you didn't even watch it once.
It's wrapped.
So pass those down.
No, not wrap.
Punk rock.
Oh.
Wait, wasn't there three things?
Yeah.
Oh, there it is.
Good job.
Cool.
Dale Cheeseman.
Me and Gabe lived together,
so I saw him getting all of his sponsorship stuff ready.
So I grabbed four of my girlfriend's
Korean makeup products.
They're Korean.
The good one.
So,
don't even feel bad.
And then I grabbed a DVD.
We are the best too.
We are,
we are Marshall.
My roommate moved out six months ago
So he's not coming back for it
So Gabe and I
Are a package deal
Yeah
Between all of us
I think people are walking home with some really
Heavy shit
Heavy special shit
Yeah
I hope you don't have other plans tonight.
I hope you're going right to
the pawn shop.
Price Bank probably weighs less than his Korean girlfriend.
Or more, I meant, than his Korean girlfriend.
That joke would have been funnier if I did the right word.
Which word was wrong?
Less versus more is a really key word in the joke.
It's like they mean
the opposite thing.
Alright, so somebody's winning
all of this stuff tonight.
Congratulations in advance
is all I could say.
And I've got a question
for y'all on stage,
but I want you to raise your hand when you
have an answer. I don't want to put
individuals under pressure.
So this is a new way to do it.
What's the last movie you saw?
See what I mean?
When you ask somebody, they have to think about it for a second.
So why force someone to go first?
You know what I'm saying?
There you go.
Gabe, what's yours?
I saw the first Harry Potter movie recently.
I was at a friend's house,
but...
How old are your friends?
I saw it recently
at Radio City Music Hall
because they had
the whole orchestra
play the entire score
and I don't...
It's probably my least favorite
Harry Potter movie,
but damn, that was fun
to watch the orchestra play the whole thing.
Even like when Harry's going down some steps,
the violinist is like,
dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.
Anyway, so.
So did you like watching it?
Was it a good experience for you?
I wasn't really paying that much attention
because my friend has a very cute dog
and I was just hanging out with that dog the entire night.
So I'm going to do real badly at these games, I think.
Right, because if this was Doug Loves Dogs,
you might be like, I met that one or that kind of thing.
All right.
Who's next for the last movie you saw game?
Oh, I saw Everything Must Go.
The Will Ferrell.
Yeah, the super sad one.
Yeah, I came in at the end of you guys watching that.
It was just the worst part to come in.
Yes, you didn't understand where the tears were coming from.
Didn't make a lot of sense.
Yeah, it was very sad.
When is this Will Ferrell crying scene going to get funny?
Is what you'd say if you joined that movie too late.
I lost all of that.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm serious.
I did not hear.
He said he came in at the end and it was dramatic.
And I said, if you see Will Ferrell crying, you're waiting for it to get funny.
Yeah.
I don't know what's so hard to follow
about that. Sorry.
You remember
you said some people on your show don't do
it before the show, and some do, and you're
keeping tally? Should have kept
it one less.
One less hit would have been better.
Probably.
All right.
Allegedly.
I don't know how this works.
Am I the only sober person in this room?
Yes.
Probably.
Yes, a very confident yes.
Wait, you're not even drinking alcohol?
No, I've been sober for like a week now. I had a relapse party. It was like a year before that. So it was a whole thing. Wait, you made not even drinking alcohol? No, I've been sober for like a week now I had a relapse party, it was like a year before that
So, it was a whole thing
Wait, you made it a year, got your year chip
Yeah, I made a
Celebrated
I made a Facebook post and I said if I got 500 likes
I would relapse that night
And very quickly I got 500 likes
And so I'm a man of my word above anything else
And I got trashed
For likes? Not even for follows? Yeah. I should
have thought of that when I was making a post. I didn't know it would take off and it did.
And then I had a weekend with Joe DeRosa and you can't not, you know. Oh, that's a good
point. Yeah, yeah. So now you're just never going to see him again? Yeah. All right. Well,
fair enough. Jacob, do you have one?
Last movie I saw in its entirety was Guardians 2, obviously.
And then I've caught some of Rogue One on the plane today.
But I want to just talk about Twin Peaks.
I know that's breaking the rules, but that's what I've seen most recently.
It's those first four episodes of that fucking crazy bullshit.
Has anybody seen it?
Anyone seen all four of them?
What the fuck, right?
That's my review of the...
Yeah, what the fuck, Joe Black?
It's like, I think you could almost talk about it
and not spoil it,
because it's just like people throwing up pieces of meat
for no reason, and there's like...
Cream corn.
Cream corn.
Not yet?
No, it wasn't.
That wasn't cream corn.
That wasn't no garlic.
Jacob says it was meat, sir.
Well, there's a few different scenes where people throw up
weird stuff, so I don't know. Why are people throwing up?
That's David Lynch's new kick, is people
throwing up weird stuff that doesn't look, it looks gross
but not quite throw-up-y.
That's David Lynch.
You toasted him. David, here's
to David Lynch. Here's to
his weird throw-up-y TV
show.
Well, that's the only thing
you could say
that doesn't spoil it.
Is this a lot of throwing up
of weird things?
I mean, it's interesting.
Here's what I like about it.
Tell me if you agree.
I'm a big fan of the show.
I've seen it like probably
six or seven times
all the way through.
Big fan of the movie.
I think it's my favorite
David Lynch movie
and my favorite part
of Twin Peaks.
And what I thought
was going to happen
was they would do like,
what my fear was
that they were going to go
the Disney Star Wars nostalgia route
and just give, you know, coffee and pie
and cute jazz and shit. And what I
wanted was Fire Walk With Me, the series. What he gave
us was neither thing. It's a third,
it's more like, it's like Eraserhead
meets like
CSI or something. It makes,
it's weird, it's very interesting
and I appreciate that he went to a new place.
Does Kyle MacLachlan act the same way that he did to another place. Does Kyle McLaughlin act the same way?
He acts a bunch of different ways, right?
He acts a bunch of different ways.
I don't know what's happening.
Yeah, but you sat through all four of them
and you don't know what's happening.
He was focusing on the cream corn.
I can't believe we have 14 more hours of this shit.
14 more hours.
It's exciting. I'm excited.
Let's see what else gets thrown up and where.
What kind of different
non-throw-up things people throw up.
Alright, thank you, Jacob. You don't get to answer
the next question because you cheated.
Okay.
But raise your hand
when you're ready, guys.
This one's a real challenge.
What's the best movie that
I,
me,
I've never seen?
So you have to think of a movie that's not only great, but it has to be
kind of obscure in some way, because maybe
Doug Benson hasn't seen it.
Cheeseman has a hand
out. I don't know if it's up as much
as it's out.
It's so ignored.
It's like, is he even paying attention?
Predestination?
Oh, brother.
What's that?
It's a time travel, time loop movie
that I can't tell you anything about
because it's a time travel
Because it hasn't happened yet.
Did you make it?
Oh, is it pre-production? No, it's got
Ethan Hawke.
Alright. Some lady said, ooh.
And other people. He's just making up
a movie so we can use it in later games and not
get penalized for it.
Just establishing a base of fake
movies.
And Eagles Crest.
There's going to be an answer later.
Okay, so...
Predestination with Ethan Hawke.
You think it's great?
Yes. It blew my mind.
Alright, has anybody here seen this movie?
One person?
That's how good it is.
One person.
Your mind gets so blown that you
Never mention it to anyone ever again
Unless you're prodded
To answer during a game show
What, did you like it?
Yeah, but it was a different take on time travel
It was a different take on time travel
Hey, sell it a little bit, how about it?
Hey, nerd alert over here
It was an all new original
Path in time travel.
There's some showmanship.
Don't spoil it, dude.
Oh, the movie's just a spoiler.
Yeah, that's what Dale said
earlier, I think. Yeah.
Which is the case with a lot of time travel movies.
They're true to their genre.
Everything about it is complicated.
It is kind of like what you say.
And any fact I give you would butterfly effect
into ruining a different part of the movie.
It's like most time travel movies have in the title
or the ads or something about the time travel aspect of it.
But that would be a real nice twist
if you were watching a time travel movie
but did not know it was going to be a time travel movie.
But usually they put the fucking word time in there.
It's always a big clue.
Sometimes they do a genre swap on you.
I remember going to see Brave
and having no idea that was a woman.
The Pixar movie?
Yeah, because they made it seem like
it was a movie about a princess,
but it was really about a chick turning into a bear.
That's like a genre film.
I turn into an animal and I gotta get back to my human form.
And they didn't sell it like that at all.
But I felt deceived when I went to see the movie.
It's like a metaphor for when I was drinking.
Do you have a kid on that?
That's a whole genre, like the witches,
where somebody gets turned into some shit.
I think Brother Bear also, which is also about a bear.
Who's got kids here tonight?
Because those are the only people that know
what the fuck you're talking about.
Brave, I think, is the only Pixar movie
I haven't seen front to end.
I guess Brave, then, for the game.
You like it a lot?
No, I don't know.
I want to find...
The point of this game is for me
to find a great movie that I'm like,
wow, I can't believe I've never seen this.
And so far,
we've done it on the show
for a few episodes
and people have come up
with shit.
How about The Swimmer
with Burt Lancaster?
I've seen that.
How about Harry Potter
but with a dog?
It's not just how you're seeing it.
It's not just what you're seeing.
Oh, it's a whole package.
It's a whole, yeah.
If you've done, had that experience. No, I can't say that I have watched that movie with a seeing. Oh, it's a whole package. It's a whole, yeah. If you've done, if you've done,
had that experience.
No, I can't say that
I have watched that movie
with a dog.
Oh, try it.
I'd like any movie.
A dog that tries to lick
the inside of your mouth, too.
That's a fun challenge.
Oh, well, no.
I don't know.
But they don't know
that it's bad.
I'm trying to watch
a Harry Potter movie
and a dog's in my mouth.
You said watch it with the dog.
I thought he'd, you know,
maybe sit there
And listen to my jokes
Yeah the dog's generally pretty indifferent
To the jokes
Just wants to get in my mouth
Also full title Harold Potter
Please full title
Alright it's time for
Bert to turn the show off because I'm gonna
say let the games
begin
gentlemen we got some big name tags
for you to choose from
yeah right there's a couple Star Wars out there Jacob Gentlemen, we got some big name tags for you to choose from. Ooh. Yeah, right?
There's a couple Star Wars out there.
Jacob, while Gabe, Dale, and Jacob work this out,
I'm going to go to a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
Hey, you guys, no sponsors this show.
I just wanted to remind you of some of my upcoming dates. I'm going to be at the Comedy Connection
doing stand-up in Providence, Rhode Island on Monday, June 19th. Two Douglows movies
at Helium. It's a Gas in Philly, June 24th and 25th both at 420
and I've got a
Doug Loves Movies coming up at the Improv
in Kansas City on
July 2nd. All of my
dates and deets are you
know where. Back to the
show.
Alright, we're back. Great
job everybody.
Yeah, give yourselves a round of applause
I know you want to
I know crowds
when they want to applaud themselves
and you guys really wanted to
this dude threw down his name tag in anger
when it didn't get picked
like fuck this
how the fuck do you get picked
and that's a question I can never really answer
because my guests make their own choices in life. Let's start with you, Gabe. You got
one of the big ones. Yeah, it's giant. It's Jack Black, Kyle Gass in the Tenacious JD's
Carpicky of Destiny. It's got my face on it. This guy's actually in the band
that we're playing tomorrow
here at the Houston Improv,
the Night Brunch Band.
We're called Migas with Attitude.
It's a pretty good name.
Pretty good.
Yeah, I'm sure all the people
that don't know you
that made name tags
are fine with your choice.
It also has a picture of Dale on it,
just by coincidence.
I do not know who made this.
I'm just distancing myself.
It also has a picture of Dale.
All right, so you're playing for JD,
and the less said about it, the better.
Just put it down.
There's a whole nother one.
No, I mean, like...
Oh, all the way down?
Yeah, like that.
Okay.
Should we spit on it, too?
No, no, no. it's gonna be fine Jacob who you played for I'm playing for a meet Joe black I
assume your name your name is either your name is either Joe or black okay
and you're black so that works out works out that's actually has to do with why I
picked it cuz this is the guy was talking Twin Peaks with.
I can count on my guests to ignore
the top of the show on the regular.
I already talked...
The whole exchange you just had with him.
You just repeated it.
Was that the exact thing you said?
Pretty much.
What did you say? You said your name is black?
Same bit?
The same exact thing you just said.
And I assumed
you didn't hear it,
but you heard it
and still said it.
We were talking about
important stuff back there,
but I did hear you address
that he was here.
All right.
I wouldn't have stolen
the joke that way.
Sure, but...
I'm a better joke thief.
Excellent choice.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So, well, I picked him...
What else is there
to say about it?
I picked him
because he's a black guy
that likes Twin Peaks.
I think that's interesting.
I'm always, like,
a fan of black hockey players, black heavy metal guys. Like, I think this falls into that category, a black guy that likes Twin Peaks. I think that's interesting. I'm always a fan of black hockey players,
black heavy metal guys.
I think this falls into that category,
the black guy that's into Twin Peaks.
Hockey and heavy metal?
He's already black guy who came to this podcast, David.
That's true.
That's an umbrella category.
There are subcategories.
And being into Twin Peaks is definitely one of them.
I mean, he could have just come because he really
likes Shaft or, you know, something. I don't know.
And he's even wearing
white shirts with his dude friend.
I mean, matching
shirts. I don't know why I said white shirts.
The friend is white.
Ish.
Alright, Dale, who are you playing for?
Well, I was going to try to get your sign
just because he mentioned David Lynch,
which means you know way more about movies than I do.
It would be invaluable to have.
Instead, I picked someone who I don't think knows anything about movies.
He was sitting in the back, and he just...
The only thing he said was,
I shoot guns professionally for a living.
And all of his
boys were behind him like, uh?
And then he held up this
Joe Wick 2 poster
with him as John Wick
as if to say like, I'm not saying
it, but
I do this professionally.
So how do you pass that up?
I like my Joe better than your Joe.
Yeah, me too.
Yours is scary.
Mine's like endearing and cute.
My Joe, do you know David Lynch?
Yes.
Did anybody believe that?
There was a long...
That was like you're in another time zone.
Thinking that one over.
It was a trick question, though,
because we'd already been talking about him.
If it's the comedian
that sings the songs Stephen Lynch...
Oh, no.
If it's another guy with the same last name,
we're good.
Hey, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale,
you're responding to something that the listeners of this podcast
have no idea what was just said.
So what you got to do is sort of recap as you go.
Shut the fuck up, sir.
I'm learning, too.
I'm learning too.
Stephen Lynch.
I fan through my joke dictionary.
The only other Lynch. Oh, there's that lady.
What's her name from Glee?
Jane Lynch.
Anyway, I'm not trying to form a Lynch mob.
What I'm trying to do here...
...is go into our first game.
Are you guys ready to play a game?
It's about time, right?
Okay, you don't have to respond.
This is a little something that's brand new.
This is the first time we're going to try it.
And it's called the Comm with commencement scheme it's that time of
year men and women are graduating from school and it's the season of
commencement speeches so I'd be great at giving a commencement speech I'd never
got to give one I'll read a commencement speech from a movie and you three guys on stage only
guess as often as you'd
like until one of you
gets it right.
Ready?
Let's commence.
This isn't the time to make
hard and fast decisions.
The Dark Knight Rises?
Did I mention I'd be doing it with Bane's voice?
No, you didn't. You don't say that.
This is the time to make mistakes.
Back to school.
Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere.
Old school. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere.
Old school.
Fall in love.
A lot.
Major in philosophy because
there's no way to make a career out of that.
Social network.
Change your mind and change it again
because nothing is permanent
possibly the first Harry Potter
so make as many mistakes as you can
that's all about half that
that way someday when they ask
what we want to be
we won't have to guess.
The lynch he stole
Christmas? I'm so late on that one.
Dead Poets Society. We'll know.
Okay,
what was that?
What movie is that from?
Nobody? Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
That's a tough one.
Oh, Days of Confused. Nope.
American Pie. American Pie Nope. American Pie.
American Pie 2.
American Pie 3.
Scream.
All right.
That's a tough one.
I'm going to call it.
The correct answer is
it was Anna Kendrick speaking
in Twilight Eclipse.
I don't know why you guys didn't know that one.
Joe Black knew.
Big Twilight Eclipse fans.
Did you know, Joe?
You knew.
Come on, you know you're a big Black Twilight fan.
You run the Black Twilight website
Alright, let's
commence with another
We're all about to enter the real world
That's what everybody says
But most of us
have been in the real world
for a long time.
The Matrix.
Hiding.
Fast Times.
Hiding in the shadows.
I made that up.
But I have something to tell everybody.
I've glimpsed our future.
A weird time travel movie that Dale mentioned earlier.
And all I can say is
go back.
Ha!
Back to the future.
All right, what do I have to do to get you guys to guess this one do I have to hold a boombox over my head say anything that's correct
Jacob syrup she says that thing that's like that's not even a joke Diane court
and say anything she goes I've glimps of the future and all I can tell you is go back.
And then they cut to her dad in the audience going,
Ha!
And it's just like, Jesus Christ, what a psychopath.
It's crazy,
but Jacob is ultimately
our winner and that
game may never get played again.
That's a hard game.
Very special. I'm glad I ruined it for you.
No, it's
good to try these things out.
I think we've got every
type of player on stage tonight.
We've got the expert player
and the non-expert player.
We just have an abundance of one
over the other But you know
Do you guys want to start placing bets
On who you think is going to win tonight?
You know
I think you can make a little money
If anyone here is too high and too drunk
To recognize
What's happening
What's happening? What's happening?
I'll tell you what's happening.
Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
That's what we're going to play.
So here's how this one works.
Jacob will get to go first in the first round.
And then we'll go to Gabe and then Dale.
And I'm going to name an actor for Jacob to tell me any movie he thinks they might have done
that's in their top three box office of all time after adjusting for inflation
according to boxofficemojo.com.
Domestic.
Probably domestic should have been in the
sentence in a different spot.
But
I threw it in because I remembered at the end.
So, Jacob, do you
understand that? Yeah, I like this game.
So you get to pick
first. You get to name a movie
featuring
Michael Fassbender.
Okay.
What do you think's in his top three?
Okay.
Everyone's thinking.
He's a tough one because he's got some celebrated stuff.
He's a tough one because some of his stuff's been really celebrated, but maybe not as
successful. Who is that guy again?
Yeah, the more
you talk about it, Jacob, the more likely
they might figure out who it is we're talking about.
I'm not worried about this one.
I'm going to go
with...
That is a tough
one. I'm going to...
I'm going to... I'm going to go 12 Years a Slave.
Maybe that's in there.
His top grossing movie.
Made a lot.
After adjusting for inflation. I don't think it's a top.
Are you just trying to say movies you think
Joe might be impress that you know?
I don't think black people enjoy that movie very much, actually.
I don't think anyone enjoyed
that movie.
I don't think that's the point of that movie.
I thought it was hilarious.
I mean, some of the
years were better than others.
Okay, so that's what he's going with there, Gabe.
Do you have, did that help you figure out who Michael Fassbender is?
You want to go with Too Fast, Too Bender?
I don't know.
I don't know who that guy is.
I'm terrible at this.
He, you know He's
He plays
There's an older British guy
He plays a younger version of him
In a couple of movies
I just realized
I think that's a sweet clue
That's not gonna get him there
I realize
Not from the clue
I just realized what I did wrong
Yeah yeah
Totally forgot about the whole thing.
There's a lot of things you forget about
when you're thinking about Fastbinder.
A lot of times you just think, who is
that even?
Who is that person?
So no guess?
No guess. I have no idea.
Same points as if you guessed wrong.
Perfect. Good for you.
Got it.
Dale?
I'm the last one to answer?
Like, they can't steal.
Now we can have, like, a little bit of hypothetical.
I'm wondering if X-Men First Class
made more than Prometheus.
See? People are confused.
Settle down. You're not...
That's cheating, throwing at getting, like,
oohs and aahs from the audience. You're right, you're right. Based on what you're talking down. You're not. That's cheating, throwing it, getting like oohs and aahs from the audience.
You're right.
All right.
Based on what you're talking about.
You're right.
I'm going to change my answer to Prometheus.
That's a...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me get this straight.
You're changing it from pass...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
...to Prometheus.
Yep.
I will accept that.
Dale?
All right. X-Men First Class. To Prometheus. Yep. I will accept that. Dale?
X-Men First Class.
Okay, good. All right, here we go.
That's when it started getting all Zack Snyder-y.
Oh, shit.
Coming in at number one for Mr. Fassbender,
the classic 300.
Yeah, that made a lot of money, that movie.
I don't even remember him being in that.
Yep, he's in there.
He's all like, I don't have a shirt on.
All right.
Next up, number two, X-Men, Days of Future Past.
Yowch.
Number three, 12 Years a Slave.
If number three is Prometheus, I'm going to puke right now.
That's how exciting I am.
Puke all over Tenacious JD.
The name tag, I mean, not the man.
Number three is X-Men First Class.
Thank you.
Righteous Christmas.
So Dale is on the board with one point.
That's the lowest number of points.
That's what you get for naming the movie that came in third.
You get three points for a number one and two points for a two.
Good, I wanted to keep this pretty level.
I didn't want to have a huge advantage.
So, right on track.
What happened?
I'm going to keep What happened? I'm gonna keep cheating
Oh okay
So
With fairness in mind
We will now rotate
And
Gabe gets to go first
This round
Oh boy
Then Dale
Then
Lucky all of us
Don't enjoy the rotating
That much
Jacob will be third in this one.
Sigourney Weaver.
Ooh.
Sigourney Weaver.
I think I might know.
I'm going to say Alien.
Okay, that is a Sigourney Weaver film.
Ooh, I did one, guys.
I did it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give me all those pity claps.
I need them.
I fucking need them.
You did it. I need them. I fucking need them. You did it.
Thanks, Doug.
I like that.
I like getting the, like, you know,
it doesn't matter if you got any points or not.
You did that.
Yeah, I did the first step.
Yeah.
You named a Sigourney Weaver movie.
You're really coming a long
way.
Dale?
Cabin in the Woods.
For the sake of keeping the game
level.
It's a great, that's a, you know,
I like that that movie came up. I love that movie.
Yeah, you're welcome.
But the whole audience is ahead of us
on that one.
Can you imagine the Jeopardy audience
when somebody says something wrong, all going,
ooh, before Alex
says yes or no.
Like, oh shit, the audience even knows
I fucked that one up.
Alright, Jacob.
Well, I think it's Avatar, so I'm going with Avatar.
But if there's one movie that I think maybe could have beat it,
am I allowed to say it since we're done with her anyway?
What are you asking me?
Am I allowed to say what I think might be the only thing
that I think could have possibly beat Avatar?
I guess so, if you want to just drag this shit out as much as possible.
All right, well.
Okay, well, Finding Dory was probably made a lot also.
I guess that's probably number two.
What are you settling on?
Oh, Avatar.
Okay.
We were supposed to guess bad ones, okay?
What came before that?
Coming in at number four, let's start there this time,
because I think it'll be fun.
Alien!
Son of a bitch.
Number three,
Finding Dory.
Yep, you heard me.
Just wait for Cabin in the Woods at number two,
you fucking idiots.
Number two, of course, is Ghostbusters.
And number one, Sigourney Weaver, Avatar.
Three points for Jacob.
I had something, and then it just got taken away from me.
I just had just a little bit of hope to cling on to.
That's why I was so happy for you that you got that round of applause just for saying alien.
Yeah, I need something.
I need some kind of return.
This guy knows how to get what he can out of the experience.
You know what I mean?
It's like a kid in Little League who goes up to the bat, and everybody applauds when he walks up there, and then he strikes out.
I also don't know anything about baseball, so.
No, I was two words away
from done with that sentence
when you stepped on it.
Sorry, sorry.
Coming in at number,
oh, wait.
Jacob has three points
and Dale has one
and Gabe is here.
Here's what I thought was interesting about that one, Jacob.
Aliens is all the way down number seven for Zagorny Weaver,
and Alien Resurrection is number 12.
I would have thought Aliens made more than Alien.
No.
That's interesting. Yeah. I liked it yeah I would have thought aliens made more than alien no that's interesting yeah they're a little more it's more of an alien budget when you
have multiple aliens cost more money wait what's happening fish there's no How did you know?
All right, here we go.
The next round,
Dale starts us off,
and then Jacob, and then Gabe.
David Arquette.
Last man standing, calling an audible.
What?
The name is one, a great one that we just lost and that someone in the audience just mysteriously said out loud
for no particular reason.
Bill Paxton.
Okay.
I mean, I think I know why that person said it out loud.
But don't know why.
Go with aliens. I think I know why that person said it out loud, but don't know why.
Go with aliens.
Kay?
On me? Yeah, Jacob.
I'm gonna go with Avatar.
Oh.
That's an interesting choice.
I'm also going with Avatar.
We already know how this is gonna play out.
What do you think, Gabe?
Well, who's that guy?
I saw a picture of him when he...
He was the guy that was in one of those two movies
that was just mentioned.
Yeah.
It wasn't in the other one.
Okay.
It's only in one of those.
Didn't see Avatar, so...
Yeah, I know.
I'm the worst.
You missed not seeing that he's not in Avatar.
Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
Sorry, JD.
It's okay, anything can happen.
We still have one more game to play.
What are you guys chatting about over there?
He was asking about Bill Paxton and which alien he was in.
Oh, okay. Just, you know, about over there? He was asking about Bill Paxton and which alien he was in. Oh, okay.
Just ask out loud and
talk to me instead of just
having a weird conversation
that's very distracting to me.
So what the fuck
did you guys say? What are your answers?
Aliens.
Avatar.
He's not in Avatar, dude.
Bill Paxton wasn't in Avatar? No. He's not in Avatar, dude. Phil Paxton wasn't in Avatar?
No.
He's not in Avatar.
And Gabe, you still want to go with Avatar?
Yes.
Doubling down.
All right.
Coming in at number one, Titanic.
Yeah.
Number two,
Twister.
Number four,
Alien.
And number three,
Apollo 13.
That sucks he wasn't an avatar.
He was like, he was still alive and everything
Yeah, yeah, James Cameron
One movie didn't put him in
Fucking Avatar
Maybe they had a spat or something
Maybe he had an allergic reaction to blue paint
I had an allergic reaction to Avatar
That's a long saga
Wait, so nobody got anything on that one
Yeah, so that means anything on that one.
Yeah, so that means the winner of that game is our friend Jacob Serov!
Good job, dude.
Now we're gonna play
let's see if we got, yeah, we got the
perfect amount of time for this.
We're gonna play Last Man Stanton.
And I am going to let you guys go to your...
the name tag you chose.
That person is your lifeline.
So you can go to them once during this.
Can I get twice?
Can I get two?
You know what?
Gabe can go to his three times.
Yes, got it. Dale can go to his three times. Yes.
Got it.
Dale can go to his twice, and Jacob gets one.
I don't need one.
Whoa.
Why are you doing that to Joe Black?
I'll get him involved if he wants to, but I just...
He wants to play with you.
I kind of take pride in not trying to win without him.
All right, all right.
You're right.
That's a good point.
Gabe gets four.
Dale gets three, and you get zero
and yeah i still have faith in you i just want whoever wins i want one of the bottles of hot
sauce i'm taking one of those oh you want to just pick one right now is that cool i can just get you
other yeah i don't if we give it away then it away, then it's taking it back. But just go ahead
and take one.
It's giving me that shit for free.
Take one right now.
Okay.
Just pick out whichever one you like.
Which is the hottest one?
I like that.
The Special Reserve.
Which is that?
This?
It'll say Crimson Special Reserve.
Yeah, I'm on it.
Yeah.
It's really hot.
All right.
Same.
It's your choice.
Oh, yeah.
You're looking pretty good.
You know Crimson is special reserve.
Black people love hot sauce.
What's up Joe?
What's up Joe?
I see you, I see you.
Where is Where is Panda Whispers?
Hey.
How you doing?
I'm good. Where'd you come in from?
Here?
What did you say to me in your tweet that made me go
Oh I gotta pick Panda Whispers
Maybe it was just the name Panda Whispers
But you just said you have a good name for Last Man Stanton?
Alright
And what do you do?
I'm a dance teacher
A dance teacher?
That's all I got.
That's all the follow-up I have on that one.
A dance teacher?
You're sitting next to my name tag,
so if you wanted to sway this towards one person,
you already...
All right, it's fine.
She just gave me a no.
What do you got for us
for the name that we should play tonight? George Clooney. You already... All right, it's fine. She just gave me a no. What do you got for us
for the name
that we should play tonight?
George Clooney.
George Clooney.
Okay.
All right.
I still have a lot of faith
in Jacob on this one.
He's a big star, though.
And, you know,
obviously, Gabe's not in it.
But, you know,
you never know.
Dale?
Well, Gabe, you know,
J.D., how you feeling, J.D.,
on George Clooney?
Pretty good. Oh, you know, J.D., how you feeling, J.D., on George Clooney? Pretty good.
Oh, you're over there.
Yeah.
And who's your person that you're playing with, Dale?
Dale, who's your name tag?
Dale.
Joe, other Joe.
Oh, no, other Joe.
Other Joe.
You got a second string Joe.
So we established his Joe Wick.
He's playing for Joe White.
Joe Wick the second.
All right, so Jacob won that game,
but we're going to switch the old order around,
so it's going to go Jacob, Dale, me.
I play along on this one, Gabe, so don't jump the gun.
I know you're going to be anxious to say
a new George Clooney movie every time it gets to you,
but you can go to JD four times.
And how many did I give you, Dale?
One.
Three.
Three?
You idiot!
I just gave you the chance
to say that I said more
and you gave yourself less.
Have I not established this entire game?
I'm trying to do the honorable thing.
I haven't? Okay, then it was pointless.
Three. Sorry. Wait, how confident
does your Joe feel?
Oh, wow.
Joe's got multiple personalities
and voices.
And guns, so be careful.
But you know what they don't have over there? Any girls.
Just a bunch of dudes.
Very macho.
A lot of deep Vs.
Dudes who are angry about trivia.
It's a group we formed here in Houston
because not enough people are angry about trivia.
How much HGH do you guys have on you right now?
I just want to know.
I'm looking to buy some.
And will it help me in this competition?
How H-I-G-H
can I get?
Alright, so...
That was good, Doug.
I thought it was pretty good.
Did you guys get
that? That was really...
That's not what I was doing. It was some high-brow
humor, right?
Hi? I said hi again.
You got it. You got it, buddy.
Don't touch me.
It's all right.
All right, so...
That sounded bad idea. Let's all go ghost protocol.
For the listeners at home,
Doug and I are wearing our hoods and I kind of look like I'm cosplaying
as Rhea Butcher.
That's not for anyone listening
to what he just said.
That's for the audience here.
No one got that.
I'm going to hide back in there.
All right, here we go.
The name,
put on your Clooney caps.
It's George Clooney starting with Jacob.
What did I say we were going to go to next?
Dale, Dale.
Okay, Jacob.
I'll start with O Brother, Where Art Thou? Jacob.
The American.
Excellent choice.
No one cared. It's fine.
I'm all alone up here.
You've all shifted your trust to him.
I'm going to say Michael Clayton.
I'm going to say Ocean's Eleven.
Jacob. Clayton. I'm gonna say Ocean's Eleven. Jacob?
I'll go with Ocean's Twelve.
Fuck you.
Go fuck yourself.
That's all I have.
Wait for it, Dale.
Ocean's Thirteen. I should have recused myself from this
because I just played George Clooney recently
but I think it's kind of fun to see how I can do
playing it again so soon
and I won't fuck it up this time
because it's
Money Monster
I said mad money last time this time because it's Money Monster.
I said Mad Money last time.
Oh, I forget which Batman he's in.
So, J.D., I'm calling you.
You can't give him clues like that and then call to him.
He says, burn after reading.
Do you think that's one?
Sure.
Who else is in it?
It's a great fucking movie. Such an underrated movie.
I think there's a dog in it.
I think it's got a great last scene.
Not much else is in it.
Oh, I think it's so funny.
Go ahead, Jacob.
Well, that guy kind of fucked it up. He didn't help you much
because you left an answer on the table.
I'll go with Batman and Robin.
Yeah.
See how you and J. and JD are a shitty team?
Because you let him give that to me
instead of just giving him the assist.
Dale?
Siriana?
Yeah, look at Dale go!
I didn't understand it.
I'm a little worried about Dale, actually. I just watched it. I didn't understand it. I'm a little worried about Dale, actually.
I just watched it.
I didn't get it.
I thought it would be much sooner when I said to Dale,
good night and good luck.
I thought, isn't it your turn?
It sure was.
Oh.
Oh.
Ugh. I thought it's your turn. It sure was. Oh. Oh. This is like a nightmare.
You get to go to JD three more times. JD, let's do it. Let get to go to J.D. three more times.
Let's do it, J.D.
Gravity.
Gravity, of course.
Oh, I did see that one.
That's my answer.
Gravity, yay.
Jacob.
Hail Caesar.
South Park, bigger, longer, and uncut.
Wow, somebody fucking came to play all of a sudden.
This isn't even beer, it's water.
I thought that at least two of you
would just sit up here like men who stare at goats.
You really played this recently.
J.D., what do you got?
Out of sight.
J.D. says, out of sight!
Is out of sight?
Sure.
A George Clooney movie?
Who was in that with him?
Sigourney Weaver.
Who was he in the trunk with?
Dale Cheeseman.
I'm just pulling his straws here.
He's grasping his straws.
It's J-Lo's in that with him, and yes, out of sight.
Correct.
Good job, J.D.
You know, why don't you guys switch seats?
I can't believe you really gave him four.
I know, he's killing it with four, isn't he?
Tainted. It's tainted.
I'm going to go with the Peacemaker.
Nicole Kidman, right?
And no cheaters.
They already cheered earlier tonight
when I said Peacemaker when I pulled that pipe out.
I can only cheer for Peacemaker once a night.
Houston rules.
What are you doing over there, Dale?
From dusk till dawn.
Oh!
How long is it going to take me to think of one?
I know I can come up with one any day now.
I'm guessing that was the title of the movie JD what do you got
didn't you do four already
would he do three or four
this is his fourth one I think
unbelievable
the descendants
the descendants
he can't He can't.
He can't win.
The Descendants is correct.
But now you have no more...
What if I just knew
all the George Clooney movies and I'm just fucking with you?
No more Lifelines.
He says he's got more, but it's...
I don't. I'm just saying...
No, he says he's got more.
Please don't share them with us You guys are done, JD
You had your run
You'll never work in this town again
I'm gonna
I'm gonna read your hilarious
shithead at the end
Everybody's gonna laugh, right?
Probably
I like your confidence Whose turn is it? Mine What do you got, Jacob? Probably. I like your confidence.
Whose turn is it?
Mine. What do you got, Jacob?
Up in the air. Yes!
That's one of my favorites.
I like that one. It's getting tough, though.
It sure is.
Joe, you got one?
Three kings! Nice!
That's what happens.
You miss some real obvious ones.
Like, I don't want to keep you guys here all night
watching us do this,
because I consider that to be intolerable cruelty.
Was he in Father of the Bride?
No game, but thank you for playing.
You were great.
Hang around for the plugs part.
Jacob, what do you got?
The fantastic Mr. Fox. Yes, of course.
Wow, that's another good one.
Over to you, Dale.
Just Monuments Men.
Whoa.
Whoa.
How many lifelines do you have left, Dale?
Two left, but now we're fine.
I think you're gonna win this thing.
I think you will too, with two lifelines.
I feel pretty good about your chances.
I think I still got a pretty good chance.
You're out,
silly.
I gotta go back to
the director's chair and say,
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.
You got some, Joe?
What?
You don't have any lifelines.
I wanted to get Joe involved.
You set it up. You said,
I'm not going to need him.
I actually didn't think you were really going to give them four and three.
I thought that was a bit... Yeah, you went with zero after I gave you four and three.
I do like to try to do it without using the lifeline,
but four and three was excessive.
You flew too close to the sun.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I think it's interesting,
because it's, you know,
apparently really leveled the playing field.
I mean, I'm still playing,
and I didn't get any
but I did just play
him recently
you're right about that
what was that one
where George Clooney
was all like
don't guess
I got one
Tomorrowland
yes
that's the one
I was just doing
the impression from in Tomorrowland he Yes! That's the one I was just doing the impression from.
In Tomorrowland, he was all like...
But I think the lifelines dry up, Jacob.
I think that's what's going to happen here.
Dale?
You want to go to your lifeline again?
Yeah, Joe, what do you got?
The Ides of March.
The Ides of March.
Very good.
You got this. Very good. You got this.
Very good.
Joe Wick 2, we're in this.
Totally on your team.
Holy crap.
I'm going to have to go super deep.
And say, attack of the killer tomatoes.
Yes.
Shh, shh, shh.
That's a tough one.
We really used a lot of them.
We really did.
I think we really cleaned the Clooney table.
Gabe's still here for some reason.
I'm kidding. Fucking Clooney, man.
That's kind of at the end of it.
I'm sure we're leaving out obvious shit, though.
It's a good match, man.
Well, I clearly would have won.
That's one way to rewrite it without having actually done it.
Well, with normal rules, I would have won.
So I feel good about that.
There's no way to cut him off with an answer.
Dale came up with a bunch of them on his own, even.
He did.
No, Dale didn't really.
But he needed two from him, so I would've...
I still have one in the pocket.
You went to him?
God damn it. And you probably got some, huh, Joe?
I got a couple. You got a couple?
He's got a couple.
Holy shit.
How can there be a couple more?
There must be some really interesting...
How do you feel?
Was he in a fucking Muppet movie?
I mean, that's a good...
Was he...
Was he a young man with one line in JFK?
Do you need a hint?
I'm not asking you.
I'm joking around, waiting for him to fucking answer or give up.
One of the two.
Dale's going to ask you again, I bet.
Well, Dale won't need to if I can't.
Just drop out.
Did you give up, Jacob?
I don't like doing that.
No, I'm going to guess something.
You're going to guess something you think he might
be in yeah why not because you know if George Clooney's in it or not well like
you know there think of a movie is George Clooney in it yes or no you know
voiceover and stuff like that yeah that's why we got we already got Fantastic Mr. Fox
and
South Park
those are his voice roles
so I don't know
if he's done any others
don't say if you know
was he in
fuck I hate doing this
yeah cause you're not
gonna come up with one
I'll bet you $10.
Um, let's...
Ah, fuck.
The only reason I'm still letting
you think is because I just got another drink.
Okay, no.
Do we have that kind of time?
Can I get another whiskey coke?
What should I relapse on?
Yeah, it's really tough.
Was he in Babel?
What?
No.
Was he in what?
Babel.
Babel?
What?
Babel.
Babel?
Yeah.
No, he's not in Babel.
Dale Cheeseman's our winner!
Sort of.
Hold on.
Sort of.
Also, Leatherheads.
Fucking Leatherheads.
That's a good one.
Just don't want anyone to think I didn't earn it.
You can't really say I would have been the winner
when you never thought of Leatherheads.
But he did two Lifelines, so I feel okay.
But he thought of Leatherheads.
That's impressive.
What else did you have over there, Joe?
One fine day.
Oh, I fucked up.
I said any day now.
It's one fine day.
I fucked it up.
So the listeners are now able to not
notify the corrections department.
We cleared that one up right now.
Any day
now. God damn it. I even thought
that didn't seem right and nobody applauded
but everyone let me get away with it.
Which is
always fun. But one fine day
and anything else?
The good German.
The good fucking German The good German.
The good fucking German.
Perfect storm.
Perfect storm. And here in Harry Potter.
There's always a huge one like that that we miss.
Perfect fucking storm.
Return of the Killer Tomato.
Oh, that's, it's Return of the Killer Tomato.
So I can let you know twice not to notify the corrections department.
let you know twice not to notify the corrections department.
Congratulations to Joe,
the one that Dale was playing for.
Come on up and get your prizes. I'll sign all of them.
Even scarier up close.
There's a gun on your tie.
Are you going to have him sign
Billy Wayne Davis' record?
I'm going to have you all sign it.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, man.
Baba Yaga.
Yeah, I'll sign that.
I got a black Sharpie.
It's a dark album.
It's perfect.
Oh, shit. Stuff's flying out of it. What did you put in there? There's perfect. Oh, shit.
Stuff's flying out of it.
What'd you put in there?
There's a download code, I think.
Oh, really?
Ooh, you get a bonus.
You can watch Billy Wayne Davis'
live performance at Third Man Records
if you follow this password.
Are you having a side conversation again?
I'm just trying to give him his name tag back,
and he's asking if I wanted to keep it for my memories.
Do you want to put this scary picture of me
anywhere in your home?
No, but...
Here, I'll take it. Give it to me.
I'll take it. Let me to me. I'll take it.
Let me have it. That's mine now.
You're going to hang that up across my room.
Alright, there you go, Joe.
Pass that back to Joe.
Congratulations.
You can get them to sign it after the show.
I just did it because I don't want to
have to look for you.
I don't want to be killed by it. so I'll definitely be doing that after this.
Thanks.
Congratulations.
Let's hear it for Joe, everybody.
Wait, he's trying to take Jacob's hot sauce.
All right.
Thanks, Joe.
You have a great future in leaving the stage when you...
I hate that loss. I just have to say it.
I'm going to have nightmares about that.
Oh, I bet you feel pretty bad about losing, don't you?
Yeah, I do. I do. I hate that loss.
How bad does it feel? Does it feel bad?
Do you feel bad about losing?
You must feel bad.
What if we don't let Dale do any plugs
and we let you do four?
I don't want to do any plugs.
Dale, where can we see you?
What's coming up for you, buddy?
I'm headlining Sure Thing in Austin
June 10th.
So come out to that.
Road trip.
Road trip.
so come out to that.
Road trip!
Jacob, what can we tell the people to do?
I'll be doing some stand-up at some clubs
around America, so come check that out.
And then
watch Comedy Knockout on
True TV, a show that I wrote on
that the new season
just started airing and I thought it came out pretty good.
Even though it's got 1.7 stars on IMDb, that I wrote on that's, the new season just started airing and I thought it came up pretty good. So,
even though it's got
1.7 stars on IMDb,
it's a solid show.
It's very misunderstood.
Why bring that up?
Why don't you,
Because they're going to,
these are like,
this is an IMDb crowd.
They're going to go look at it.
So I had to make a joke about it.
That's a preemptive joke.
But if you want to,
out of 10.
Oh shit!
If you want to argue
with Jacob about movies,
it's Jacob, S-I-R-O-F on Twitter.
Yeah.
I expect some sympathy tweets for this loss.
And Gabe Bravo, where can we see you, dude?
I have a weekly show at Avant Garden called God Damn It.
Dale does it a lot because he's really funny.
And yeah, someone is a drunk and has been there before.
Also, I have a
weekly show with the C group called $2 Bill.
We have free chips and salsa from
El Real. Delicious.
I got a couple dates with Billy Wayne Davis coming up.
Just check his calendar. This next
month will be in San Antonio
and Baton Rouge, and then we have more stuff
coming in the future. I think I'll be
doing some dates with
Joe DeRosa and Kurt Brauneler,
but I'm not sure if those are announced yet.
But just check my website, dgaybrava.com,
and follow me on Twitter,
and go fuck yourself.
Fuck you guys.
Thank you once again to all of my guests,
Gay Bravo, Jacob Serov, and Dale Cheeseman.
Thank you, man.
of Dale Cheeseman.
Thank you to the Houston Improv.
Thank you to all of you who came out.
Thank you to Houston in general for being...
Shut up over there, Jesus!
As always...
Should I read yours first or second, Joe Black?
Second.
I agree with you, I think.
As always, cats are a shithead.
Or cats the Broadway show is a shithead.
Not sure which way to word it.
And then Joe Black, you really want me to say this?
Say it, Bubba.
All right.
Anyone who hasn't seen Get Out is a shithead.
Now it's time for you to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold is viewing how it's baked in hockey.
There's no room in his heart for you.
But the, the movies.