Doug Loves Movies - Dan Gabriel Guests
Episode Date: October 17, 2011Doug is joined by Dan Gabriel in a comedy condo in Columbus, OH, where they kick off their Sunday shoes and play Build-A-Title.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California P...rivacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from a hotel oh, I wrote that down wrong a comedy condo
room
in Columbus, Ohio on Monday, October
17th
2 Oceans 11, that's right
the comedy condo across the street
from the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio
we'll talk more about that in a second
but the unfriendly skies
kept me from last Thursday's
movie interruption show at
CineFamily in Los Angeles.
Paul Fancy Tompkins filled in for me, I heard he did a great job, and they watched the original
Fright Night with guest commentator, comment haters, comment slash haters, guest comment
haters, TJ Miller, Paul Scheer, and Rob Hubel. So I'm sad that I missed that. And late that night,
Paul Tompkins tweeted, Dear Doug Benson, Jerry Dandridge. Jerry Dandridge is all in caps.
That's the character played by Chris Sarandon in the film. I'm not sure why Paul wrote that,
but I guess Jerry made an impression. I haven't seen Fright Night in a long time,
so I was excited to see it on the big screen, and it didn't work out. I didn't like the new Fright Night, by the by. The next movie interruption
is Wes Craven's Deadly Friend. It's 7 30 on Monday, October 25th. Go to cinefamily.org if you're going
to be in the area of Los Angeles and want to go. If you're going to be somewhere else and don't
want to go, never mind. I'm flying in from the East Coast that day, so wish me luck.
I'm looking forward to the next March when Ides of October is going to come out.
My guest today is Dan Gabriel, co-host of the podcast Best Medicine.
And he's also a sport act, opening act, if you will, on this occasion.
For me, on this particular weekend, Saturday night, we were at Zany's in Chicago.
Anyway, hey, Dan.
Hi.
We were at Zany's in Chicago, right?
And you took on and defeated four different name tag-wearing audience members.
Yes, I played four of Chicago's finest Leonard Maltin players,
and I bested them all,
to the point where somebody after the show said it looked rigged.
We had to roll over the prize.
I was going to give away my copy of Shutter Island,
and it got rolled over because none of the
four people won that night. You had also got a
copy of Dan's
CD called Baby for
Sale. Is that right? Yes.
I'm so proud to remember
that because I didn't have that written down.
And then, so
what happened? First you took on Nick, who had
his name written on a pumpkin.
Yeah, I like to choose the people based on the effort that they put into this.
Sure.
Yeah.
And Nick had spent a while writing Nick colorfully on a pumpkin in a lot of different markers.
And so I chose Nick, and I beat him.
What was the movie that?
It was the No, She Didn't category.
Yes, it was.
And the answer was Love Don't Cost a Thing.
That's right.
And then a woman with goldfish, two goldfish in a bowl that lit up.
She had glowing goldfish, and she had tweeted that she was riding the bus to see Doug Benson with her goldfish.
Yeah, so she went to a lot of effort.
There was a strobe light in the fishbowl.
Yeah.
What confused fish those must have been.
Were the fish named after them, Emily and Dave,
or did the fish have their own names?
No, the fish had their own names.
They were clever, right?
That were movie or podcast related.
Yeah, like one of them was probably named Sam the Ma'am,
and the other one was probably named...
Yeah, but she gave them away after the show to some lady on the street
who was coming into the next show.
I helped broker that deal.
She was like, now I've got to take these all the way home.
I was like, you don't want them?
She's like, you want them?
And I was like, no.
Does anybody want these fish?
And a woman standing right there was like, don't want them and she's like you want them and i was like no does anybody want these fish and a woman standing right there was like i'll take them
but you didn't you um didn't you i love to eat the pumpkin though didn't you i curb stomped the
pumpkin you smashed the pumpkin history american history you were smashing pumpkins yeah i think
you said that when it happened people were on their feet because we were all standing there.
Then, what happened after that?
Then we had somebody came up and picked the category girls, man.
The other guy who stole a street sign and wrote his name on a street sign, Tucker.
Yeah, and he got the category.
It was girls man and he lost on the movie was manhattan oh no that's what that's what emily lost on
yeah that's that's what emily lost on then he played because i remember the movie that I beat Tucker with. His category was Down Under.
And the movie ended up being Under Siege.
And you beat him.
Then you got a fourth person up there to play Edgar Wright Hadn't Seen It.
And that was probably the bloody baseball.
Yes, there was a guy with a bloody baseball. Because Jordan always gets picked in the front row at LA.
So this guy put nut Jordan and then put blood all over the baseball.
Like, he murdered Jordan.
It was kind of, I didn't get it.
But he did put a lot of effort into the baseball.
He did.
So he got picked, and then he played,
I might be getting the order wrong on these,
but basically he played Edgar Wright Hasn't Seen It Yet.
Yeah, I think that was it, because he was kind of cocky,
like, yeah, I'll take that category, even though that could be
any movie. But then it turned
out to be Buckaroo Banzai,
and you got that right. Yeah, because
one of the clues was
it has the main
characters, a rock star,
and a scientist.
Like, how many fucking movies?
The guy didn't know it at all. The guy had no idea
what movie we were
talking about but yeah that does give it away but then that's where you get into the you know
the strategy of negative names and stuff because uh if both of you had known it from that then you
guys would have had to figure out who got second billing to uh peter weller yeah i almost went
negative one name but i i could only remember peter i couldn't remember Weller. Oh, yeah, that's right.
So, yes, that was a fun day. And then yesterday we did a show at the Funny Bone in Columbus,
which is the condo Dan is staying in.
It's across the street from the club.
We won't give away the exact number because we don't want, you know,
future opening acts to get stalked.
But it cracks me up because it's a number that's
like, it's got four numbers in it
on the door. That's not the street address.
So it's
confusing. It'd be confusing if I was
staying here. I think that
each apartment has its own street address.
Yeah, because this is such a big complex.
Yeah, but it's all townhouse-y, and so
it's just funny to see that. It's apartment-y, but
you enter from the outside, so it's a little different.
Yeah.
It's more condo-y.
Yeah, I think it's fine.
We're here for a couple nights.
I'm staying over at the fanciest hotel in town.
And I don't want to say names, but half of the name is a number,
and the other half of the place is super.
No, I'm saying a nice place and we did a show
we did a show at 420 yesterday and that show dan played against i believe it was three people in
the audience and uh the answers were in the horror movie category was halloween 2 and in the Girls, Man category is Batman Forever, and Summer Blockbuster,
which you got quite easily, was Lara Croft 2-Baiter.
Yeah.
When you said Daniel Craig, that's how I knew that.
Uh-huh.
I saw Jurassic Park 2, Dynamite, I don't think that's what it's called, Lost World, in a hotel
room the other day, and I still love it.
I think I like it better than the first one.
Remember Jurassic Park 2?
Jeff Goldblum, Vince Vaughn, when he was in his serious movie phase?
I don't think I saw that.
I remember Jurassic Park 1.
It's good.
Julianne Moore.
It's good.
I liked it.
There's not little kids in it.
There's a girl in it who's a teenager, and she's good at...
Is it called Jurassic Park 2?
Why did we come back here?
Oh, yeah.
We shouldn't come here.
No, it's like it's like, you know, they're going in knowing that they got to try to do something about these dinosaurs.
Oh, OK.
So it's like a it's a team of scientists.
And, you know, but of course, shit goes wrong.
That's that's the one thing they never they never plan for.
But his daughter, Jeff Goldblum's daughter, is a good gymnast.
So at one point, she spins on a bar and kicks a dinosaur in the face.
So that's kind of a cool way to get rid of it.
And then Jeff Goldblum's like, you got kicked off the swim team?
Like, it's a funny moment.
But then, or the swim team, yeah.
Yeah, Dad, that's why I'm not on the swim team, because I'm a gymnast.
But speaking of spinning on bars for no good reason, I saw Footloose today.
And how was it?
Well, you refused to go.
I refused to go.
You even looked at the sign of all the movies that you could go to
and just decided you'd be happier just walking around the mall.
Yes, that is how I felt.
There were a couple of movies that looked pretty good,
but they weren't starting for a couple hours.
The whole idea was that I was going to see something
at the same time you were seeing something.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So that I wouldn't...
Anyway...
We've got to line up our play time.
There was no way I was going to see Footloose,
and so I just decided to walk around the mall.
I mean, it doesn't need to be remade.
No, I agree with you that what they did didn't need to be made,
but I think someone could have done something really interesting with it,
and instead they just did like, it was like that psycho shot for shot.
Does Kevin Bacon have a cameo in it at all?
No, and I don't think anyone from their first movie does,
but lots of dialogue dialogues exactly the same.
But that's how you know it's going to
suck, is that nobody from the original
wanted to be anywhere near it. Well, you know,
they might not have wanted them to. The guy
that wrote the original
screenplay and some of those songs that are in it,
he co-wrote it with this guy, Craig Brewer,
that directed the new one.
So he was like, oh yeah,
there's a way for me to cash in
on the same exact pile of words?
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, they adapted it a little bit,
but for my money, they didn't change enough,
so it was just kind of boring to watch
because it was almost like seeing a road company of a play
that you didn't really like the first time,
and now you're watching actors that are less iconic
trying to play
the exact same roles so it's just kind of it's kind of boring it's a waste of everybody's time
and energy right unless they did unless they did something creative with it yeah i mean like
thomas crown affairs i think a better uh example of remaking something and putting your own spin
on it yeah they spun it so much that again it didn't need to be called the same thing,
but they just, you know, they like to hedge their bets
and try to sell people a movie that sounds familiar, you know?
Yeah.
Oh, I've heard of that.
That might be good.
So, yeah, they're going to remake everything, Dan.
There's no stopping that train.
Things are just going to get remade from now on,
and we're just going to have to live with it.
But I say, yeah yeah i say just like
put based on whatever in the title go over the new title make a great movie and then you know
then remakes is fine remake something from like the 30s or 40s or go reach back a little farther
we don't then you don't have the sold name because the young kids don't know like if they remade like
seven year itch or something the kids wouldn't know if they remade Seven Year Itch or something.
The kids wouldn't recognize the name so then you're not getting that
free marketing that you get from
replaying something they grew up with.
Kids grew up with Footloose even if they
weren't born yet. They grew up with it.
Footloose is on TV all
the time. How angry would you
get if they tried to remake Ferris Bueller?
Well, I heard a rumor that
they're not remaking it but that they're not not remaking
it but that they're talking about doing a sequel where he's like an adult and he skips work and i
was just like i don't want to know that ferris bueller has a job he wants to skip they well they
i think that election was made to be that was that yeah ferris bueller yeah but that's what he really
grew up into when you're that much of a fuck-up and you don't... Yeah, exactly.
But I liked getting to see Matthew Broderick play what is...
You can't go through life getting your best friend to fuck up his dad's expensive car.
Like, someone's going to call you on it, and there's going to be consequences.
Yeah, yeah.
He was really...
What happens is you knock up Mia Sarah, and then she doesn't even graduate high school.
Oh, I had such a crush on Mia Sarah when I was young.
Oh, man.
She's good stuff.
She's adorable and legend.
Shall we play a game?
Sure.
All right, let's play a little build a title.
Since we're in Ohio, I picked movies that are filmed in or set in Ohio.
Hopefully even Columbus specifically.
Really?
Yeah, you don't
need to guess what the movie is. It's just the first
title. You don't have to know anything
about the movie. For instance, you probably don't
know anything about a film called Harry and Walter
Go to New York.
And that was made here in Columbus? Apparently part of it was,
yeah, according to, you know,
the always accurate Wikipedia.
Is that a Muppet movie? No, it's
I almost said The always accurate Wikipedia. Is that a Muppet movie? No, it's...
I almost said Scott Kahn.
It's James Kahn and...
What's his name?
Elliot Gould.
And they are buddies who go from somewhere in the Midwest to New York.
It's a period piece.
I think it takes place in the early 1900s.
And what's her name is in it?
The female lead is Diane Keaton.
And it's supposed to be a comedy.
And they stopped it from this?
No, they probably started there.
It's about two guys who go to New York
is the name of the movie.
So all you need to do,
you don't need to know any of that,
all you need to do is go pick a movie
that ends with the word Harry
or begins with New York.
And then you're off to the races.
Heavy sigh.
Okay.
New York stories.
All right.
So we got Harry and Walter go to New York stories.
And then I have to go stories.
Restore. Rees. Rees. And then I have to go stories, restore, reason, reasoning, reasonable.
I swear there's something that starts with reasonable or something, but I can't think of what it is exactly. So I'll just go Dirty Harry and Walter go to New York stories.
Is Dirty Harry the name of the movie?
Yeah.
I thought.
The first Dirty Harry movie is called Dirty Harry.
Okay.
I know.
It's confusing.
The first James Bond movie is called Dr. No.
Yeah.
Okay.
Can I look at it? What, can I look at it?
What do you mean, look at it?
Yeah, Dirty, Harry, and Walter go to New York stories.
Okay, Dirty, okay.
So now a movie that ends in Dirty or starts with stories.
Stories.
You can do the sound Rees. Reasonable. Reason.
I just couldn't think of anything that starts with that.
Rees.
Resemble.
Rees Witherspoon.
Yeah.
Too bad there's not a movie called Rees Witherspoon.
This is a tough one, I think.
Yeah.
One that ends in dirty.
Something dirty.
Down and dirty.
Playing dirty.
Captain Dirty.
Dancing.
Dancing, kind of dirty.
You nailed it.
Store-reezy.
Store-reezy money. Ooh, nice. Store- Storyzy money.
Ooh, nice.
Storyzy money.
All right.
Money train.
So now we've got Dirty Harry and Walter go to New York.
Storyzy money train.
Okay, all right.
How about
Last Star Fighter
No.
No, it's not a D.
Dude, you know movies
that start with train.
Train.
Money Train.
Oh, yeah.
That starts with train,
doesn't it?
No, I'm saying the word train
starts it off
and you're good to go.
Train, planes, and automobiles.
No, there's another one that I'm thinking of.
Training day.
Yeah.
And then I'm going to add Joe Dirty Harry and Walter Go To New York Stories.
The money training day.
Okay.
Cujo.
God damn it.
Cujo.
Dirty.
Harry and Walter go to New York Story's money training day of the dolphin.
I threw you a softball on that one. Day of the dolphin tail. I threw you a softball on that one.
Day of the Dolphin?
Yeah, yeah, tail.
Tail.
Tails.
Oh, shit.
Tail.
Oh, no.
Tails from the Crypt.
Is that a movie? Yeah, and TV show and comic book, yeah.
Tales from the Crypt had a segment in it.
It was a four-part anthology,
and one of them was Joan Collins was a woman
who was having an affair with a Santa Claus,
and the husband murders the Santa Claus
or something like that.
Anyway,
Cujo Dirty,
Harry and Walter go to New York Story Z Money Training
Day of the Dolphin Tales
from the Crypt.
Yeah, you've really
put yourself in a corner now.
Crypt.
Ooh.
No.
Tonight. uh oh no tonight kryptonite too bad there's not a movie called kryptonite oh I got one I got one for the front this is this is crazy I got an absolute crazy one for the front.
Haiku.
There's got to be a movie named Haiku.
No, but I got a coup.
I know a coup.
Haiku.
Coup.
Sudoku.
I'm just trying to think.
Wait, all right. What? Crypt. Crypt? Sidoku wait I'm just trying to think wait alright let's talk about Crypt
Crypt?
that's even harder I think
well that's because
I've already got something
for Coup
Ripped
um
Ripped Like Jesus
is Greg Barron's
handle on Twitter
Ripped
um
Ripped, um... Ripped cord, the story of a...
Ripped on...
The story of a skydiving accident.
Ripped corn.
I think I'm stuck.
I think you're stuck.
I'm going to just add one thing, and then I think we're good overall.
Because I thought of, there's an old Liza Minnelli movie called The Sterile Cuckoo.
So sterile, I know, sterile cuckoo.
I think we took a good whack at it that one.
Sterile cuckoo, Joe Dirty, Harry and Walter go to New York,
stories the money training day of the dolphin tales from the crypt.
That's pretty good.
Sterile.
I guess if there's a movie that ends in the word stare,
but I can't think of one.
Fred Astaire.
Fred Astaire.
Yeah, let's just start going with names.
Switch back and forth.
Master and Commander.
Something ends in Master
and Master.
Yeah, that's a little
sterile.
It's a little bit of a stretch.
But that was a nice long one, and the episode was long
enough. I like to throw out these things when I can
get you guys a chance
to get to know my
comics that I go out on the road with and
and encourage you to come see us live and play the leonard malton game with us and uh you can
go to douglosmovies.com for all the dates and uh do you have anything you want to plug there dan
yes i would like to plug my podcast uh i am a co-host of a podcast called the best medicine
my co-host is robert duchesne. My co-host is Robert Duchesne.
And we have different guests on, comics usually,
and we solve people's problems that they email us.
So you can check it out at thebestmedicinepodcast.com
or it's on iTunes.
Just do a search for Best Medicine.
And Doug's been on the show.
And in a couple of weeks, Larry Miller's going to be on.
Oh, fantastic.
Larry's great.
He was awesome in his cameo in Pretty Woman.
That was a long time.
I just saw him recently in Nutty Professor 2 as the principal.
He's in everything.
Not principal.
Is it a school?
The dean.
He's the dean.
He's always the dean or the principal or the teacher or the dad.
He's in every movie.
Yeah, he's a really
nice guy and really good actor great amazing timing and smart dude all right thank you dan
thank you listeners as always jerry dandridge is a shithead
now it's time for doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.