Doug Loves Movies - Dan Soder, Amy Miller, David Gborie and Ramon Rivas guest
Episode Date: September 3, 2017Live from Hilarities in Cleveland, Doug welcomes Dan Soder, Amy Miller, David Gborie and Ramon Rivas to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice ...at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is God Loves Movies
Coming to you for the first time ever
From Cleveland, Ohio
I'm sure during that pause,
some people will be listening to this
and will grab their Twitter and start to write,
this isn't the first time you've done the show ever.
People are such sticklers.
Just wait for me to finish the sentence.
We are at Hilarities In downtown Cleveland
As part of the
Accidental Comedy Festival
How many years now for this festival?
Six? Something like that?
In that neighborhood? We'll get to the bottom of it
We'll figure it out.
There won't be any cliffhangers when I'm around.
It's Saturday, September 2, 2017,
and I know I've been here before.
It's been a few years since the last time I was in Cleveland,
and when I was here for my stand-up show,
you guys did bring some pretty fancy name tags,
and I've been seeing on the internet a lot of name tags.
So, uh, let me
have it. Let me see what you got. Oh my
goodness.
Are there
any in the balcony?
Suckers.
Good luck being
chose up in the balcony. Good luck being chose up in the balcony.
Good luck being chose.
Yeah, I just said that.
You might not get chose.
So many good ones.
Let's look at a few of them.
Courtney loves movies.
And then you got a bunch of movies on your poster.
They're all movies that have Courtney Love in them?
She's been in more than one or two movies?
Holy shit.
Brady Funches movie.
The Brady Funches.
That would be perfect if Ron Funches were still in town.
He performed at the festival,
so he's on a lot of your name tags,
but he's not going to be here today.
The biggest surprise about who my guests are today,
probably for most of you,
is that Ron Funches is not one of them.
He and I are friends, of course,
but he's terrible at movie trivia.
Like, can't stand it.
There's a Ron Funches,
Emily of the State.
You put his face nice and big
and smiling on there.
Doug Benson will turn you
every which way but Jeff?
You think Jeff is a pun on the word loose?
But I will turn people every which way.
But Jeff.
You're right about that.
And I saw this on the internet today, the Mikey Ducks.
And, but no one calls you Mikey.
That's what you confessed
on the internet. Couple of bottles
of Tito's on the top of that name tag.
What does it say on it?
The Princess Tara instead
of the Princess Brida.
Alright, well there's lots of great name tags.
Thank you guys. As always, the light
up one is impossible to read.
It's just a light up square over there in the corner.
But good luck to each and every one of you.
Doug plugs, I'm doing stand-up in a couple of days.
This Monday, Labor Day, September 4th,
at Comedy Works in downtown Denver at 420.
Doug Loves Movies is back in L.A.
at Meltdown Comics on Thursday, September 7th.
And Doug Loves Movies comes
to the first ever 208 Comedy Festival
in Boise, Idaho.
That's next weekend, next Saturday,
September 9th at 420.
All my dates, deets, and links
are at DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com
Yeah!
I love how every time
the yeah is so much louder
like you're so
professionally
you're a professional
From the corrections department,
Hugo Weaving is not in Underworld.
That didn't bother too many of you
because I didn't hear about it much on the internet.
Everyone was just sort of like, yeah, we know.
He's not in it.
Hey, Cleveland, you know you're staying in a great hotel
and you're going to have a wonderful weekend
when you walk into your hotel room
and they have earplugs sitting there.
That's in the prize bag.
I don't need it.
I get too fucked up.
I mean, I get so fucked up that I could sleep through
whatever the fuck's going on
this weekend in Cleveland.
A Doug Loves Movies T-shirt,
some coffee packets from the hotel room.
I'm not a coffee drinker, but they're free.
I like to, you know, pay it forward.
A pipe from Peacemaker.
Only used once.
A copy of my album, Promotional Tool.
But don't forget my album, Lexington,
is currently available on iTunes and at douglosmovies.com.
And a blue card from Getting Doug With High.
And also, one of my recent stops, Chicago.
Somebody gave me a gift bag of a bunch of field notes.
And so this is a... it's called dot graph paper, whatever the fuck that means.
All of that stuff, plus all the stuff brought by my guests.
You can see we've got four chairs up here.
So please give a big warm welcome to David Borey, Amy Miller, Dan Soder, and Ramon Rivas!
Rivas!
Hi!
What's up?
Welcome!
What's up, Cleveland?
Hell yeah!
I'm turning heel!
Yeah, come with that heel heat, Amy.
We were loud.
The audience has favorites.
I want to start...
Hey, thanks.
I want to start by starting off by apologizing to Amy
Because we were standing in the back
And she goes does this place have a balcony
And I go no this place doesn't have a balcony
And that's the first thing I noticed when I got on stage
There's very much a balcony
I've just performed here a few times
And I never reached
Never had people up in the balcony So I bl just performed here a few times and I never reached, never had people up
in the balcony.
So I blotted it out of my mind.
But as balconies go, look up there.
It doesn't even look like it's there. Move around
you guys a little bit.
I thought it was higher
than that and I was like, that's a very
fucking Roman balcony.
I'm like, let them die.
It's one of the most
confusing balconies in the industry. I'm like, let them die. It's one of the most confusing balconies
in the industry.
I'm not going to lie, it's the balcony
that gets talked about the most.
Everyone's like, have you seen that Cleveland balcony?
And I didn't argue with you, even though
I was here last night.
You were on this stage last night doing a set
and then today you were wondering if there was
a balcony.
It's really, it's a great secret.
Let's meet my guests individually,
starting with our first-timer,
performing here all weekend at the Accidental Comedy Festival.
It's David Borey, everybody!
Yeah!
That's so nice.
Dude, I feel like you're going to kill this today.
Do you think you're up for the challenge?
I thought that last night, and then this morning.
I don't think that I'm going to kill it.
I watch a very specific genre of movies,
so I don't know if that's good.
Right, some guests come on here and get fucked
when you're like, kids movies.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're like, oh, shit. Watch like trash. So whatever. Are there a lot of trash movies on here and get fucked when you're like, kids movies. And they're like, oh, shit.
Much like trash.
Are there a lot of trash movies on here?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, bad movies?
I thought you were speaking about a very specific genre.
Yeah, you know, like trash movies.
Men at work.
Ah, fuck, I was just going to say that.
Damn it!
The Estevez vehicle.
It's a great fucking movie.
Actually, Estevez vehicles is my genre.
Garbage car, police car.
I've only seen the Mighty Ducks.
That's my whole genre of movie.
And D2.
Well, there's a Mikey Ducks poster right there.
Oh, look at that!
Yeah, so you might want to pick that.
I look so fucking good as Emilio Estevez.
Yeah.
I smell a reboot.
Yeah, that would be
a good mix of
Mighty Ducks
and Bad News Bears
if they had a coach
that was high all the time.
Yeah.
And doesn't know
anything about hockey.
It'd be called
Mighty Blunts.
The only thing I know
about hockey is
kids just do this
and your gloves fall off
and then start punching.
Yeah.
Always throwing in
some physical humor
for the people
who show up in person.
But thanks for being here,
David, and good luck.
Thank you.
I'm very excited.
Also joining us today,
also performing
at the festival
this weekend,
as are all of everybody on the stage,
it's Amy Miller!
Yay!
Couple boos still. I like that.
It feels good.
How you doing, Amy?
Pretty good. My first time in Cleveland.
Whoa.
Also, today's my comedy birthday.
I did my first stand up set
Seven years ago today
And met David Borey that day
It's a beautiful story
I think you should change your comedy birthday
To last night
Because you're not really a comedian
Until you've performed in Cleveland
That's what really
Gets it started
The crowds here are so nice.
Until I put this shirt on
and then it changed.
Oh, it's a sports thing?
Yeah, it's a sports thing.
I didn't look at any of the sports parts.
I went right to another area.
Not of your shirt.
The area that's not shirt.
That's what I was looking at.
No, do this a little longer.
This is going good.
I feel good.
You feel good.
We're all good.
Also joining us is Dan Soder.
Dan Soder!
It's good to be back
on both Doug Loves Movies and Cleveland
Yes
Thank you very much for your corned beef today
I appreciate that
And thank you for keep coming with that
Slightly Midwest, slightly asshole attitude
I like it
You give a little like, welcome to Cleveland
Now kindly fuck off
It's good It's a good blend You give a little, like, welcome to Cleveland, now kindly fuck off.
It's good.
It's a good blend.
You've been here before, though, right?
Yeah, yeah, I was here when the Cavs won the championship.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm glad... Yeah, it was also, like, 15 people at a show.
It was, uh...
It was rough.
You didn't know there was a balcony either.
Yeah, well, that didn't matter.
Yeah, I didn't have to look up the entire week, so...
I don't believe in calves in sports.
I think you should wait till they're adult horses.
Oh, those are cows, but you could...
Adult horses.
Is that what a calf is?
I thought it was a tiny cow.
It's a baby colt.
It's a cow.
Oh, I apologize, guys.
I've been thinking you guys were baby cows this entire time.
What's the sword have to do with a cow?
Yeah, I was like, is that the thing they're going to slaughter it with?
Star of Billions on Showtime.
No, not a star.
I'm a peripheral character.
I get enough to get health insurance.
The stars have to fucking deal with you.
Yeah, they do.
They have to interact with you.
Yeah, when I'm stealing all the shit from craft services.
I'm like, can someone get this guy a raise?
This is sad.
A lot of Nutri-Grain bars. He's on a show called Billions
and he's like trying to
Oh dude I'm trying to
Yeah I really bring the white trash
to the set of Billions.
I'm like y'all stealing candy bars too?
And they're like
Paul Giamatti's like no.
Yeah.
Why?
Have you had scenes with
Damien Lewis and Paul Giamatti?
I just I've had like one scene with Paul Giamatti.
But you did have a scene with him.
So which of those two guys is your favorite?
Damian Lewis.
Just because you have more scenes with him?
He's a good guy.
Terrible human being.
I'll just come out and say it.
He fights children for fun.
That's a bad guy now?
Yeah, that's how he gets ready for his scenes.
He goes, bring me a big eight-year-old.
This is good.
It's time for me to go Giamatti-on.
I can't wait for some dumb site to quote all of that.
I think he's going to show up.
And put a clickable headline on it.
Billion's co-star has some things to say
about Paul Giamatti.
I'm going to get a knock on my trailer
and they're going to be like,
Mr. Giamatti, I'd like to see you outside.
Oh, wow.
Cleveland, Paul Giamatti, American Splendor.
Yeah.
Is one of my favoritest movies.
Also with the world champ Judah Freelander in that.
Yeah.
All right, I guess he can go
fuck himself, Cleveland, huh?
I'm Toby Radloff,
the original nerd.
So good.
Speaking of original nerds,
there's one specific nerd
that we can all thank
for this comedy festival, and it's
Ramon Rivas!
Ramon Rivas!
Thank you, nerd.
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
Is that what you call yourself?
The founder of the Accidental Comedy Festival?
Founder, curator, I don'ter, curator, one of those.
Sure.
What about Overlord?
Oh, I like that.
Overlord of the Accidental Comedy Festival.
I'll take Archduke of Comedy.
Big poppy Accidental Comedy Fest.
So how many years has it been?
Well, the first official year was seven years ago,
but it wasn't called Accidental Comedy.
It was just this comedy stage I did
at a music festival under a bridge.
And then the next year, I was doing that again,
and I had a couple big, like Neil Hamburger
and Kyle Kinane book leading up to it.
So I was like, I'll just fill in the gaps,
call it Accidental Comedy Fest.
And then this is the sixth year of that,
and it's gotten kind of grown every year just a little bit.
And so the last two years in the hipster bowling alley,
and this year it's in the most beautiful comedy club in the Midwest.
So, yeah.
Well, thanks for having all of us.
No problem, man.
I'm glad everyone came to Cleveland and is having fun.
Yeah, finally, Cleveland's having some fun.
I just hope that on Monday after the festival,
at least a couple people climb on buildings in celebration,
like the Cavs.
Should we turn over a car or something?
It'd be like a Ford Fiesta.
Just flip a Ford Fiesta over.
Those are tiny.
Well, as you guys know,
we have a prize bag
that someone's going to win tonight,
and I'd like to know
what each of you brought for it.
Amy's is all on the floor there,
so I apologize for making you have to pick it all up.
Just get that.
Okay.
Do you need any help with it?
No.
No, don't.
Too close.
Too close!
The people, the people!
All right, what do you got in that bag, Amy?
I like a themed bag.
So one really cool gift and one really dumb gift.
There's a great local artist.
Goes by Butt Coffin.
You guys know Butt Coffin?
Is that Butt Coffin?
He is great.
He made this original painting just for this prize bag,
which is so sweet.
It says, Dance This Mess Around.
And that is a great gift. Cleveland artist, Butt Coffin. It says, Dance This Mess Around. And that is a great
gift. Cleveland artist butt coffin.
You can look him up on Instagram. And then
to go with that,
I got... An actual butt.
How live.
This fart gun.
Whoa.
That is the quietest fart gun ever invented.
It's your butt coffin.
Hey, perfect.
What a telegraphed gift bag.
You can't, with a microphone right up against it,
you can't hear it.
It's like a silent but deadly fart gun.
And then he's got a bunch of buttons
and I put a couple beer koozies from the festival.
Oh, very nice.
Oh, I shouldn't have said that.
God damn it!
I'm sorry.
What's the matter?
I obviously have some beer koozies from the festival.
Is that the cornerstone of the gift bag?
I think it is.
That's the best thing you brought?
I also brought an accidental comedy poster
signed by everyone on stage except Doug.
Oh, I'll sign it.
So, you know, you really want to...
And then I got, you know, this Staples bag also
as part of that.
It's a solid company.
Take your lunch to work.
Yeah, do whatever you need to.
Put some drugs in there, probably.
Pick up dog poop.
Pick up dog poop.
I mean, it's a good bag.
I like it.
And, yeah, that's it.
And two koozies.
Two koozies.
I'm going to show them, though.
I'm not like Amy, who's a real bitch.
Hell yeah.
Bad guy.
It's not working.
From Dale's Pale Ale
by Oscar Blue. Keeps the cold,
drinks cold.
Don't forget, you really talked up the bag.
You don't want to leave that out.
This bag has to go audition for American Beauty, too.
Dan, what do you have?
Keeping up with the theme,
I did kind of an airport gift bag.
Stuff you would probably buy as you're leaving Cleveland
to show your family you kind of thought about them.
It's a Cleveland
magnet.
That's pretty good shit.
And a
Cleveland coffee mug.
Oh.
Some mug fans in the audience.
And it says love
Ohio on it.
Isn't Ohio the state for
lovers or some shit you guys made up? No, it's
just like they love Ohio.
That's all that's... Yeah. It's not
for lovers? No. What's for lovers?
What state is it? Virginia. Ohio's
for fuckers. Virginia.
West Virginia? Yeah. Virginia?
Really? Yeah. That doesn't feel right.
That feels off. That doesn't feel right.
Regular Virginia.
Well, still feels off. Yeah. So, that's a mug and a mug and a magnet. Maybe doesn't feel right. Regular Virginia. Well, still feels off.
So that's a mug and a
magnet. Maybe that meant racism lovers.
Ohio is
O-Face times two.
Oh!
Hi.
So yeah, put those back
in your little bag you brought them in.
Pass them down here, please.
While Ramone tells us about what he brought.
All right.
I also did a last minute thing because I forgot that I had to bring something.
But you get all the swag from the festivals.
You get a cool dad hat.
You get a festival shirt.
Both were designed by Aaron Seacrest of OKPants.com.
Super dope.
He does all the design. Both were designed by Aaron Seacrest of OKPants.com. Super dope.
He does all the design.
And then this is a poster by an artist who's done a couple
New Yorker covers.
His name is Kennedy Chapman.
He's from Cleveland.
And he does a little cool design.
And that's signed by everyone on stage as well.
No bag, though.
No.
Nah, man.
The hat was what everything was in originally. Oh. A little tacky, but all right. Yeah, whatever, though. No, man. The hat was what everything was in originally.
Oh, a little tacky, but all right.
Yeah, whatever, man.
Wow.
You just got that bag before we came up here.
I saw it. Yeah, he gave me that bag.
And technically those koozies.
Yeah, and the koozies.
And you signed the poster.
You feel good about yourself now?
Yeah, man.
You feel like a man?
Yeah.
No, I feel like your big brother, big sister dude.
That's common.
Which is like a dad, but that doesn't want to be a dad.
You know, I just...
So you feel like my dad?
Yeah.
I just got...
Like all our actual dads.
Except for this.
I just applied for the Big Brothers in New York and got denied.
I was like, that's fucked up.
Why?
On what grounds?
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
Did you try to use Giamatti as a reference?
I was trying to funnel him into the Giamatti program.
Just trying to get him fresh meat for his fist fights.
I like that he only fights big eight-year-olds.
Yes.
He's not a punk.
This guy's been nominated for an Academy Award.
Did he win one?
See, I'm going to be bad at this game.
He wasn't even nominated for American Splendor or Sideways.
He wasn't?
No.
Shoot Him Up?
He's so good.
Yes, he was nominated for Shoot Him Up.
What about San Andreas?
I get it.
He's in some movies that are not as good.
Agent Cody Banks.
Was he in that?
Yeah, he was a bad dude.
Or was he a good guy because he was fighting kids?
Was he in that one?
I thought he was in Big Fat Liar.
That's what it was.
I thought it was some modern Blank Check type of movie.
You get your Frankie Munoz vehicles
mixed up.
He only has two vehicles.
One is a Fiesta.
Now he's just driving a Cleveland garbage truck.
Alright, so all that stuff's going in the
prize bags.
You're going to walk out here with several bags.
But before we play the games to
determine who wins this stuff,
I do have a couple of questions for everybody.
Starting with Amy.
Last movie you saw.
I saw
Good Time yesterday.
That's what it's called, right? Starring Robert Pattinson.
Yes, Robert Pattinson.
How'd that work out for you?
It made me very anxious.
It's a tense movie.
I went to Tower City.
It was just me and one other lady in there.
Her name was Sheila.
I met her.
Wait, you asked her?
Oh, no, I didn't ask her.
She just offered?
She just came out talking to me about the movie
and then kept talking in the bathroom
through the stall door.
And then after Sheila left,
I had a panic attack.
So it was pretty good.
No, it's good.
I actually,
you saw it, right?
Yeah.
Has anyone else seen it?
I like all the...
Yeah, that's how good
a time it is.
That's Sheila.
One other guy.
It's very frenetic.
Thank you, Sheila.
It's very, but, but they use very real people
for all the peripheral characters.
That was sort of my favorite part of the movie.
Did you notice that?
It was super real.
Does that mean it was non-SAG?
Oh, yeah, maybe it was a non-union situation.
Scabs!
Scabs!
I just do that in case SAG after listening to this.
But I like that bail bonds guy
remember? And then like that lady that he
stays with. Like there's just all
everybody else in it was very good. So was Robert
Pattinson. But it just made me freak out.
See it.
For a good time. Don't see good time.
But definitely see good time Don't see good time But definitely see good time David
What was the last movie you saw
The classic Eddie Murphy movie
Boomerang
Yes
Whoever shook your head
You go fuck yourself
That's a great fucking movie
Has someone used that app on the phone
The boomerang thing,
to make a picture of Eddie Murphy in boomerang?
Uh, boomerang, boomerang.
Oh, my God.
That's right.
Boomerang Inception.
Yeah.
I can't talk.
Yeah, I watched that movie.
I love that.
Was it on cable or something?
It's on Hulu.
I got a TV in my room now, not to brag.
With a wall mount. With a wall mount.
With a wall mount.
I'm doing good things.
I'm wearing socks.
Yeah.
And I love that movie.
Not right now.
I got these little, I think they're women's socks, but they're like booties.
They only go around the bottom.
I think they're for ladies.
It's okay.
Treat yourself, dude.
Yeah, I don't feel bad about it.
You have the heart of a lady. I like wearing socks, but looking like I Treat yourself, dude. Yeah, I don't feel bad about it. You have the heart
of a lady.
I like wearing socks
but looking like
I'm not wearing socks.
Yeah.
That's a fun look.
What's he doing?
Who's this guy?
The greatest trick
the devil ever pulled
is not knowing
he was wearing socks.
I think that's
the end of that statement.
Dan, have you seen
any movies on your travels?
Yeah, super high last night.
I watched the documentary Unacknowledged on Netflix.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, there's some believers in the room.
It's about alien, it's about extraterrestrial contact
with human beings in the government cover-up.
It's pretty fucking awesome if you're into that shit.
You watched the whole thing?
I watched 90 minutes of it last night, fell asleep, woke up today,
and watched the final 30 minutes before I came here.
So I'm all geeked up on fucking alien shit.
You want to go?
It can end our commitment to fossil fuels.
Just start saying crazy shit.
So tonight you're headlining the 7 o'clock show here.
Yeah.
And people can expect lots of
alien talk. Oh, it's going to go so deep
on conspiracy theories.
Get ready to wear some aluminum foil
and really talk about government
control. If you wear
aluminum foil on your head, you get in
for a full price.
And closely
monitored by the staff.
It'll be fun.
If you like being watched,
show up in a tinfoil hat.
That'll get you watched real quick.
Yeah.
Get you extremely personal service.
Yeah.
It's the VI VIP.
Ramone?
You want some?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you want some of that beer?
What, you guys never seen people share them before?
Come on, we're friends.
Oh man, I forgot I was a heel.
She didn't need to say want some into her microphone.
I could have just gestured with it.
Sorry.
She understands that people are listening to this.
What'd you see see Ramon?
I watched Guardians of the Well someone on the plane in front of me
Was watching Guardians of the Galaxy 2
So I watched it
And I was just kind of like trying to figure
The plot out without words
You know what I did that on an airplane
Recently with that worked? John Wick 2
Yeah
You can watch it completely on an airplane You don't need to know what they did that on an airplane recently with that worked? John Wick 2. Yeah. You can watch it completely
on an airplane. You don't need to know what they're saying
at all. Figured it all out.
The only lines of dialogue
are, I'm thinking I'm back.
That's about it.
That was in the first movie.
Without sound,
Batista's a good actor.
He's good in those movies.
He's good. He crushes what he does.
He must be funny to watch
with the sound off in his scenes
because in Guardians 2,
they really ran with
that he loves to laugh
super hard
at the misfortunes of others.
Like when something bad happens to somebody, he laughs
so hard about it. It's so
insanely cruel and
hilarious.
What are you going to watch
on your next flight?
Whatever the person around me can afford?
I don't know. I watched part of
Spider-Man Homecoming on my dad.
My dad has a tendency to make a lot of bootleg movies.
Wait, you said make or buy?
I mean, he just has them. I don't know what he does.
My dad doesn't do that shit.
But you hand-cam in the theater?
No, he's not hand-camming it. That's why you make a bootleg. He just will have these DVDs that have just a bunch of movies on them and none of them
are good quality.
But it's just like, do you want to watch it and not pay anything?
It's like, baby.
This is crazy bank.
Yeah.
But my dad's usually heard that had my dad made pork shoulder yesterday.
Oh, it was good.
He just knows how to just get shit done, man.
That was good pork shoulder.
What's a pork shoulder you want to see?
Did he bootleg that pork shoulder?
He bootlegged it.
That was a pork shoulder that was in theaters.
He brought it to the streets in an affordable rate.
Dude, that's a good spectrum, though.
He's like, do you want a movie in theaters or some well-seasoned pork?
Both. How did you know?
Alright, I have one more question for you guys.
And I hope everybody answers this one quicker.
It's just a time thing.
It's not any personal issues.
Not yet.
In fact, you don't have to answer in order.
Just raise your hand
when you think you have an answer.
Because the question is, I've been asking this
of everybody on the show
for a few months now.
I'm looking for the best movie that I've
never seen. When I watch it, I'll be like,
holy shit, can't believe
I haven't seen this.
So happy I got turned on to it.
Yeah.
It's not an easy question.
No one has succeeded.
David Rory has a
suggestion.
Paper Soldiers?
Kevin Hart's first movie?
It was made by...
I'm intrigued.
It's really funny. It was made by Rockefeller
Records, which is pretty weird.
And it has Beanie Siegel in it.
And it's really funny. I laugh
a lot when I watch it. Well, how much
do you laugh at all of his other movies? Not.
Now you've really convinced me.
I was worried that you were too big of a fan.
No.
Because I think he can be very funny and has funny scenes in most of his movies,
but overall, to me, he still hasn't made a movie
that's like a great comedy.
Yeah, no, The Wedding Ringer sucks.
He's better than most of the movies he's in.
I think so, too. except for Paper Soldiers.
Okay.
Most of us in this room think you just made that up,
but I'm going to check it out.
I'm totally, hang on, let me write it down.
In David's defense, it's mostly white people in the room.
Does anybody else have one?
Ramon?
Half raised hand?
Alright Everything is illuminated
I feel like you've probably already seen that
What's that?
Everything is illuminated
No I heard all the words you said, but what is
that movie?
It is
it's got
Elijah Wood and the dude who's the
lead singer from Go Go Bordello
in it. And it's like
Elijah Woods is real
like neurotic. I did see that.
Ah, damn. So you just
were trying to make me...
No, I just wasn't sure because
everything is, there's a couple movies
that start like that. I just wasn't sure if I
seen it or not. Or the house I live
in. Your answer is finished.
Okay.
Have you seen my favorite
documentary, Home Movie?
Who's seen Home Movie?
It's about people who have different
weird living spaces.
Oh yeah, I did see that.
It's that guy who makes all the
great documentaries made that.
Made an American movie, yeah.
He also did Thin Red Line.
I can't think of his name right now.
No, that's Errol Morris.
It's not Errol Morris?
That's a different person.
It's a different person?
Mm-hmm.
Then forget it.
So have you seen it or not?
I did see it.
Or I heard people talk about it so much
that I feel like I've seen it.
Like maybe I saw Siskel and Ebert talking about it.
Because it's kind of old.
It's not recent, right?
Yeah, it's like from the late 90s.
Yeah.
All right.
Home movie.
What about the reboot of the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic, Kickboxer?
Ooh. Reboot?
Yeah.
Reboot with who?
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Whoa!
Ah!
Yeah.
Whoa!
Yeah.
You think he's not showing up?
Get the fuck out of here.
What a legend.
Get the fuck out of here. There's legend. Get the fuck out of here.
There's two movies called that starring him?
Yeah.
And one came out in 2016.
Where he's not the kickboxer, he's the trainer.
Later everybody, you can pick up your brains on the way out.
It's fucking garbage.
And I'll lay in that garbage all day long.
Is his dojo in, like, a really shitty strip mall?
No, no, no.
It's, you know, it's in Thailand.
He stays true to the franchise.
He's not like a spirit or an angel or anything?
Oh, no, no, no, no.
He wears an infuriating fedora the entire time.
I did see Home Movie.
Like, one of them's a treehouse, right?
Yes, in Hawaii.
She lives in a tree in Hawaii
with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
It's weird.
Yeah, I saw that.
It's weird.
And there's like that guy who makes robots and stuff.
He's like, what are you...
Of course, I live up in this tree house.
What are you doing?
This is where I've been the entire time.
Jean-Claude, goddamn, get out of our tree house.
Yeah, are you sure?
Want to watch me do the splits?
Those branches are far apart, and that is impressive.
But I can see up your shorts, and our children are crying.
All right, now's the part of the show
where Bert Kreischer turns it off,
because I'm about to say, let the games begin!
Name tags, come out of the shadows!
Can you turn the house lights out?
If we could get the house lights up a little bit,
that'd be helpful because there's lots of great ones to choose from.
I like this inside-out one with my Judge Doug face on it.
And while they scour the crowd to pick the best name tags, we're going to go to a brief commercial break.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Oh, I got it.
Ramon, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Dirty Jort Dancing,
and he just wrote it on a watermelon,
but I am going to cut this
watermelon and feed it to comics later
so it is a useful...
Thank you!
That's a great idea.
I thought you were about to say
you were going to cut it and fuck it.
No.
I like to take a watermelon out a few times first.
Okay, that's a real... real non-sequitur
of a name tag.
Dirty dancing
reference on a watermelon. Do they eat
watermelon in dirty dancing?
She gets as wet.
She gets as wet as a watermelon.
Alright. No, Amy
had the real answer. Don't jump in
with the jokes when facts are at stake.
She carries a watermelon up to the party
where she first sees the dirty dancing.
And then she's so awkward because it's so sexy in there.
And she's holding a watermelon.
I carried a watermelon.
It's for girls.
It's interesting when she shows up
with another watermelon at the abortion.
She's just always cheering people up with the watermelon.
What do you got there, Dan?
I got Repo Tim,
the Repo Man,
starring Emilio Estevez.
And he changed it,
but he brought the vinyl soundtrack,
which is awesome.
And that's worked over.
That's got Iggy Pop,
the Circle Jerks.
It's a good soundtrack.
Check it out.
So I'm playing for Repo Tim.
It's an Estevez-heavy episode,
so...
You know what?
It was just,
I had Estevez on the brain,
and I was like, I'm gonna go this way.
The unloved Sheen child.
All right.
What do you mean, unloved?
Oh, come on.
You don't think he wanted that Sheen last name?
That nice, glossy Sheen last name?
Emilio's like the Jon Snow of the family.
Yeah.
He had to go live north of the wall.
No, I just meant that he probably
fucked his aunt.
Oh.
I think Emilio got to pick his own
last name. I don't think he was forced on him.
Let's just pretend for the story.
I think he was really like, I want to get the
Mexican crowd to check out Young Guns
2.
He didn't think Lou Diamond Phillips could make it happen.
He decided way before that movie, yeah.
All right, David, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Corey because my face is on it.
All right, it's fine.
How will they use that dope Twitter photo you have too?
It's so old.
Thanks, Amy.
That's cool.
I love it. Finding Corey. Yeah, Amy. That's cool. I love it.
Finding
Corey. Yeah, it's got Ramon
and me and Funch. Yeah, we're all fishes
and I'm an octopus. You're an octopus.
You're cute.
I'll do you proud, Corey.
Or I won't.
Could go either way. Amy?
I'm playing for Brennan.
He made me and Funch as the men in black,
which is cute.
Super cute.
And you're the dog.
Yes, I am.
I like it.
He used a current headshot.
I appreciate that.
But it also came with weed cookies.
Oh!
Allegedly.
Yeah.
Can you pass those down?
Oh and someone just made
You a cake
And she just made me take that too
Wait you got a name tag forced on you?
Yeah well Sarah
Was like take this cake
Cause it's for us
And what does it say on it Sarah?
And it's got kind of a
Is it kind of a coconut flavor? Chocolate Why does it say on it, Sarah? Douglas movie. Cool.
Is it kind of a coconut flavor?
Chocolate.
Chocolate?
Why does it look like coconut?
Because it's marshmallow.
Marshmallow.
Okay.
We can share it with the punks. Good for you.
The comedians are going to have a feast of watermelon and cake.
Thank you.
But hopefully not cookies, Ramon.
You can have some. You can have some.
Take a bite and pass that shit back,
bro.
I don't say bro often, but I do
when edibles are at stake.
Oh, man.
That's when shit gets serious.
Can you taste the weed in it?
I mean, they're pretty good cookies just in general.
Alright, well, I wasn't shitting on that.
I was just asking you to taste the wheat.
I don't think so.
They might just be delicious cookies.
Well, now I feel silly for not eating them.
Yeah.
Yeah, they don't taste good.
No, I like them.
Really?
Okay.
Okay.
I hope it'll be worth it ultimately.
But for now, I'm unhappy with my choice.
I'll get back to you guys in 40 minutes.
All right, let's play some games,
starting with a little something called
Alex's Jason and Deb's IMDb game
created by the Morning Team
at 101X in Austin, Texas
speaking of which, Douglas Movies
is back at Cap City Comedy
in Austin on September 20th
you guys all know this game?
no, I don't know this game
I'll start to name the
top four listed on the
best known for section of
an actor or actress's IMDB
page.
As soon as you think you know
which actor this is for,
just
buzz in with your own name.
Or something else, if you
think your own name is too hard to say quickly.
Some people think if they have more than one syllable in their name,
but it's whoever starts talking first is the one.
But do you want to all go with your actual names?
Yeah, sure.
Full name.
I'll decide when I make a noise.
So you buzz in with your name as soon as you think you know it.
Negative one point if you get it wrong.
So if you buzz in on the first title,
there's lots of people in each and every movie,
so you're taking a risk, but it might be worth it
because you get a bonus point for each additional one
you can name after you've named the person correctly.
Okay.
Okay.
Play four rounds with a tiebreaker if necessary.
Here we go.
What actor...
is best known for...
the Avengers?
Fuck.
Yeah, who wants to take a chance on that?
Could be any one of those fuckers.
Could be any Avenger.
Could be some guy with two lines.
Just walks by and goes,
Hey, aren't those Avengers?
The second title might really help you out, though.
Because it is
Captain America, the Winter Soldier.
Dan Sutter.
Wait, did you say the name?
I think I heard Dan say something first.
Chris Pratt.
Did you say Dan?
No, that's not him.
God damn it.
God damn it.
No, what's it not?
Hang on, hang on.
Dan.
A lot of stuff broke down.
We're still trying to establish if you buzzed in first.
Did you say Dan?
We're going to say...
He said the answer, but...
Right, but he meant Dan.
And then the answer he said is Chris Pratt.
Which is wrong.
Who is in neither of those films.
I just got so excited that I said my name so fast.
Things were just really coming at me in a quick way.
I saw it on you.
You were so excited.
I think you blew it.
But David was on the heels of Dan's buzz in.
No, I wasn't.
You weren't?
I thought you made a noise, David.
I was just laughing at him.
Okay.
So Ramon is buzzed in next.
Chris Evans.
That's correct.
Those stupid handsome Chris's.
He's so beautiful.
Yeah, Chris's are really having a renaissance right now.
Yeah.
So Ramone and only Ramone
gets to guess two more titles
of Chris Evans films.
Do they have to be the next two?
Might be in his top four.
Well, it has to be two more from his top four.
But, you know, you don't lose anything for guessing.
Avengers 2?
All right. Clearly you don't take this game seriously.
No.
Like, I want to say not another teen movie,
but I doubt that's in the top four.
Um, and, like, probably just the first Captain America.
Like, I don't know.
Listen, that's not what those movies are called.
Listen, that's not what those movies are called.
Avengers.
Avenging again?
What do you think it's going to be called?
Electric Avenging.
All right, okay.
You don't get any points. The answers are,
the next two movies are Captain America,
The First Avenger,
and Captain America Civil War.
They don't fuck around with numbers.
Dude, at least you didn't say a whole different franchise.
All right, so Ramon has one point,
and Dan is bringing up the rear with negative one point.
Still in it though.
Oh yeah.
Super in it.
Whose top four begins with Lost in Translation?
Amy Miller.
You got your whole name in there.
I always do.
I just thought you could just say Amy.
It's for the brand.
I wouldn't be like, which Amy?
Branding.
So what's your answer?
Scarlett Johansson.
That's correct.
That's correct.
Now name three other Scarlett Johansson
projects.
That's not the name of the movie.
Whose voice is that, mine?
I didn't say it.
I don't know.
That was just a rule person.
Wait, that's not the Avengers 2?
I'm on the right track though, right, Doug?
I don't know.
How many titles have you said?
Two.
Which ones?
The Avengers.
And?
The Avengers 2.
Okay, one more.
I don't know.
I don't have any.
Oh, wait, wait.
Scarlett Johansson.
I know.
See, I'm only thinking about comic book movies.
Okay.
Scarlett Johansson.
Ghost World.
Made a lot of money.
That's my favorite.
That movie.
One of my favorite.
A lot of money.
Scar Jo movies But
They went with
Second was
The Avengers
So you got that right
So I got two points
You got that one right
Hell yeah
Go Warriors
But then third
Yeah
That's right
I'm sorry
I won't do that anymore, Doug.
What time did you set here later tonight?
6.30 upstairs.
Or out the door.
The cabaret or whatever that's called?
Yeah.
All right.
They went with The Prestige, oddly enough.
Weird.
That doesn't seem like a big famous Scarlett Johansson movie.
And Lucy.
Ah. Oh, movie. And Lucy.
Fucking Lucy.
I felt like that was in the top four.
Yeah.
So Amy is now in the lead with two points.
And then there's all these men.
There's Amy and then there's all these men.
Let's not worry about that. Men and boys.
This is where it's going to get really interesting.
Who's top four, best known for, begins with Iron Man.
Boop.
Ramone. Robert Downey Jr.
Incorrect
I mean yes he is Iron Man
Dan
I already said Amy Miller
Here comes Dan
Really taking this heel thing to heart
Amy
Gwyneth Paltrow
No
Good guess though thing to heart, huh? Amy? Gwyneth Paltrow. No.
Big yes, though.
Amy Miller not giving a fuck about the negative one point
that happens when you do that.
Two's the most points I've ever had in this.
Well, now you have one.
Damn it.
You're still in the lead, though,
because Ramon has zero.
Dan has negative one.
Do you want to buzz in,
or do you want to wait for another title?
Fuck it, man.
What?
Was that his bucket man, your buzz?
Yeah, but you can go,
because you said your name.
You said David?
Yeah, I said David.
Okay, what do you got?
Jeff Bridges.
Damn.
No.
What are you guys doing?
Just wait for one more title.
I'm loving all these people cutting me off.
There's so much pressure.
Because I'm going to wave it until the next movie.
Ramon.
Dan just gets to send it out now.
Just wait it out.
See what happens next.
John Favreau.
What are you doing?
You can't go again.
You don't get to guess anymore.
Oh.
Do you want two more negative points?
No, no.
Because that's what you would get.
Okay, no, I don't.
Come on, baby, let's pull this back to even.
Okay, so we've got Iron Man and then Spider-Man.
Who was in...
Keep it down, audience.
Who was in Iron Man and Spider-Man?
Ramone, you're out.
I don't care how politely you raise your hand.
Oh, fuck.
I'm going to have to guess he has...
Would you like another title?
It's just you, though.
You can wait.
It's just you, man.
Just wait.
So much pressure, guys. Can you just chill out? I's just you, though. You can wait. It's just you, man. Just wait. So much pressure, guys.
Can you just chill out?
I got Tim breathing down my neck.
I don't know what's going on.
This person was also in Iron Man 3.
Ha ha!
Aw.
Do you want the fourth one?
Yes!
Spider-Man 2!
I'm so lost!
Who is in all those movies?
Samuel L. Jackson?
Incorrect.
Ramona is a fun guess.
Stan Lee?
That's correct.
Fuck that, dude.
You're the worst.
He was here.
I'm fucking one of them.
Every Marvel movie.
I'd bust him right in his hip.
Oh, shit.
Fucking Stan Lee.
Why don't you do a drama
once in a while?
Get some range, Stan Lee.
So Amy's running away
with this thing
with one point.
I'm down to negative two.
Yeah.
Yeah, Dan's at negative two.
David's negative one.
Ramon is zero.
Aw.
Also, this is the first game.
It doesn't even matter.
Matters a little.
A very little.
The winner of this game gets to go first in the next game.
Yes.
Which isn't even necessarily an advantage.
Okay.
Round four, though, could be tied up after this round.
Anything could happen.
Who is best known for Pulp Fiction?
You know, it's a good time
to swing for the fences. It's not
going to hurt you that much.
The field's too large.
I already used up my Samuel
L. Jackson.
Alright, the second title is The Hateful Eight
Amy Miller
Who is it, Amy?
Samuel L. Jackson
Of course it is All four answers in this game
were people that were in
Captain America
the Winter Soldier filmed in
Cleveland!
Cleveland!
They shut down a whole highway for a $25 permit for like a month and a half.
Wait, so you knew that they filmed that here?
You didn't catch on to what was happening?
No, I caught on to what was happening.
I didn't know if it was part of the game to say it.
What?
Well, no, I mean, you didn't get points for pointing out
that they... They filmed some of the Avengers
here, too, like when Loki makes everyone kneel
is like right out by where the casino is.
Lots of
movies have been filmed partially
or in their entirety in Cleveland.
And we're going to play a game
of whose tagline is it anyway?
All movies that
have been shot in Cleveland.
Yeah, Ramone's feeling strong now.
Yeah.
A little bit. We'll see how it works out for you.
I don't even know what to think anymore.
Amy gets to go first
and then we'll go to David and then Dan and then Ramone. think anymore. Amy gets to go first.
And then we'll go to David and then Dan and then Ramon.
This is just one-on-one.
I'll ask you directly. I'll say the
tagline from a motion picture.
One of, in some cases,
several taglines for that motion picture,
but certainly the one that's least likely
to give it away.
And starting with Amy.
If she can't get it, David gets a shot
at it. What movie has the
tagline
The Battle
Within?
Christmas Story.
He wants that lamp.
No.
It's complicated, you know.
David, the battle within.
Devil's Advocate.
Totally reasonable guess.
Not shot in Cleveland
Probably should have been
Dan
The Battle Within
The Sam Jackson vehicle
No
Battle Within I have no fucking The Exorcist Why don't we throw that out there Sam Jackson vehicle.
Battle Within?
I have no fucking clue.
The Exorcist?
Why don't we throw that out there?
That sounds like a real battling within.
Is it safe to call cars an Owen Wilson vehicle?
Yeah.
It is.
As long as there's nothing sharp in the car.
Whoa.
I didn't even hear what you said.
So Dan, would you say Dan?
I said the wrong answer. I said The Exorcist.
Okay, good guess though.
Ramone?
You guessed the name of a movie.
So that makes it a good guess.
I'm back on track.
Howard the Duck.
Is that from Cleveland?
Is that from Cleveland? I know he landed in Cleveland in the movie. Is that from Cleveland? He's from Cleveland.
I know he landed in Cleveland in the movie.
But was it really Toronto as Cleveland?
That's always the question.
This was really shot, at least partially, here in Cleveland.
It's Spider-Man 3.
I'm passing on all Marvel movies from now on.
Yeah, but you didn't know whether or not it was a Marvel movie before I told you the answer.
I know, that's how I still feel right, Doug.
Okay.
Back to you, Amy.
You get to start us off for this next one.
It's better to give than receive.
Christmas story. That is correct!
I was going to say jingle all the way.
That will also be the tagline for Spider-Man 69.
for Spider-Man 69.
But both people are doing both. Mm-hmm.
It's two spider people.
They'll figure it out.
David gets to start off this next one.
He gets the first shot at it.
Okay.
And I apologize to you in advance
because this tagline does not narrow it down much.
One of the most important and powerful films of all time.
She's got to have it? I love when Spike Lee started out
making films in Cleveland
then moved to Bed-Stuy
for the second one.
Just like Steinbrenner.
What? George Steinbrenner
was almost wanted by the Indians.
Then he bought the Yankees estate.
Dan's really got his thinking face going.
Fast and the Furious 8.
You mean the fate of the Furious?
Goddamn right.
Incorrect.
Hey, I'm just fucking...
I'm throwing haymakers at this point.
I don't care.
It was powerful and important, though.
The Land?
The Land?
Yeah, it's a movie that they released recently,
but it was about the youth in Cleveland,
so I figured maybe that was the tagline for it.
You think a movie none of us have heard of
would have the balls to call itself the most important
and powerful?
That's how those movies get people to watch them.
They're like, yo, we were dope.
People cried when you watched this.
Ooh, I should watch this.
Eh!
Amy?
Oh, shit.
I forgot I was still in it.
Titanic.
Yeah, filmed in Cleveland.
On that river.
You're going to say the same thing about The Answer, Dan.
Because the movie decidedly
does not take place in Cleveland.
It takes place in a foreign
country and
Pittsburgh. And it's called
The Deer Hunter.
Oh, shit.
Filmed in Cleveland.
Learned so
much about Cleveland today.
Like the wedding reception was filmed here.
It was like an hour of the movie, right?
Then they go to, you know, Vietnam or whatever.
Which is beautiful this time of year.
What, Vietnam?
All right, so David gets to start us off
with one more chance to get on the board.
If no one names this one correctly,
Amy wins this game as well.
Mm.
What movie, filmed partially or totally in Cleveland,
has the tagline,
impenetrable, invincible, in trouble.
What?
It's boomerang, say boomerang.
Fate of the Furious?
No.
But you guys are right about it being filmed partially here,
but that's not it.
Dan?
What was the tagline again?
I seriously think
if I repeated it five or six times,
it wouldn't help you, but...
I know, I'm just trying to buy time.
Impenetrable,
invincible,
in trouble.
I would like to say...
Kind of sounds like Dirty Dancing.
Yeah.
Impenetrable, invincible,
in trouble.
Fuck. Fuck.
Yeah.
It's another terrible tagline.
I don't know.
I don't even have a guess.
Okay.
Ramone might have a guess.
Draft day?
Just because the Browns are always in trouble.
They did film draft day here.
But no, that's not the answer. I don't think anyone's called the Browns invincible always in trouble. They did film draft day here. No, that's not the answer.
I don't think anyone's called the Browns invincible.
No offense.
Well, they sell out games,
but they're not.
Yeah, and try penetrating them sometimes.
Yeah, they're very penetratable.
Amy,
for the win, I mean, you already win
either way. I don't lose a point?
Mm-mm.
The Great Wall, starring Matt Damon.
Oh.
I would love it if they shot that here.
It's right outside the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Woo!
The answer is Air Force One.
Oh, shit. God damn it. Wait, aren't they in the sky the whole time
Yeah
I said partially
I don't know which partials
That's as crazy as Titanic you were right
Some of it was shot here yeah
That's fucked up
Was he flying to Cleveland in the movie
Let's just see who can answer
This one the fastest,
the tiebreaker.
He doesn't play golf.
He destroys it.
Happy Gilmore.
Shit.
Fuck, I got too excited.
I got that.
Happy Gilmore.
Happy Gilmore is what I meant to say too,
but I said Happy Madison.
Yeah, that's the production company.
Do I get a half a point?
Do I go to negative one?
You guys don't get shit for that. It was just fun.
It's bullshit.
Happy Gilmore was shot in its entirety
in this area, which is pretty amazing.
Yeah, classic movie.
And Amy gets to go
first again for our final game
tonight.
A little something called Last Man Stanton.
We're going to get the name of an actor or actress
from a predetermined audience member
and take turns saying
movies that person was in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
It starts with Amy again,
but we're going to switch the order around.
I'm going to go second,
then Ramon, Dan, David.
Please be Dolly Parton.
You can't say that before the person's... I thought they already told you earlier in the day.
They only told me that they had an idea.
Sorry, Doug.
For a name.
I'm sorry.
Wait, how many movies have you even been in?
A lot. Do you want me to name them? Yes.
Really?
Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,
Rhinestone Cowboy,
Joyful Noise, 9 to 5,
Steel Magnolias.
Straight talk and we're done.
Okay. That is it.
And it's over for Dolly.
There's more. Made for TV shit, maybe, but that is it. And it's over for Dolly.
There's more.
Made for TV shit maybe, but that is it.
Right?
No, there's more.
But it's okay.
What other ones?
No, no, no.
Yeah, name another one.
Oh yeah, Koda Mini Colors is made for TV.
You're right.
Where is a person on Twitter who goes by the name Small Batch?
That's several people.
The Butt Coffin fans.
Right? Yeah.
Which one of you is Small Batch?
She is.
No one is Small Batch.
Do you seriously not know? No, it's me.
Okay, cool.
All right, so you're going to suggest a name,
but just to make this interesting,
I'm going to go to a second person
so that there's two names
who we can name movies from.
Oh, I like that.
You ever done this before?
Because nobody gets a lifeline.
Yes, we have done this before.
And it's very exciting.
Where is Way Younger?
There you are, right up front.
Good for you.
Do you think you have a better name than Small Batch?
Hells, yeah.
Hells, yeah.
All right.
Tie your wrists together and knife fight over it
Yeah
Beat it, beat it out
Small batch, what do you got?
Gary Oldman
See I'm glad we had backup
Because that is a tough one
It's not an easy one
Gary Oldman because he is a chameleon
And so it's hard to remember Which movies were him and which ones were Tim Roth.
All right, way younger.
What's your actual name?
Jennifer.
Okay, Jennifer.
What's your actual name, small batch?
Okay, Jennifer, what do you got?
Colin Farrell.
See, I'm glad that I went to two
of you, because these are two
shitty names.
Alright.
No, they both
have lots of credits and are
terrific actors, and I wish
us all luck.
And like I said, no lifelines this time.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, whoever can last the longest
without any help from anybody
on Colin Farrell?
I almost said Firth.
Fuck it, let's throw him in, too.
Colin Firth.
I don't know. That's way out of my in too. Colin Firth. I don't know.
That's way out of my pay grade.
Colin Firth.
Colin Farrell.
Or Gary Oldman.
Amy, start us off.
Fifth Element, Gary Oldman.
Mm-hmm.
I appreciate when people tell me which actor,
but I would have figured that one out.
On my own.
I'm going to go with
True Romance, Gary Oldman.
The professional Gary Oldman.
Batman Begins.
Slow down!
I'm just getting excited. I'm sorry, Doug. Okay, Dan, what do you got? Batman Begins. Slow down! I'm just getting excited. I'm sorry, Doug.
Okay, Dan, what do you got?
Batman Begins.
Which one was in that?
Gary Oldman.
David?
Tigerland. Call him Pharaoh.
Tigerland?
That's what I call something to save for later.
No one would have ruined that one for you.
I didn't even know that was a thing.
That sounds like an energy bar.
It's a sequel to Cougar Town.
Amy?
Shakespeare in Love, Colin Farrell.
What?
Wait.
Do you want to take that real lead?
I was so confident about it.
Do you want to take it back?
Wait. He's not in that movie?
Don't ask. I'm asking you.
Do you feel confident
that he is in that movie?
I do feel confident.
Do you want this game to end for you
based on the answer,
Shakespeare in Love, Colin...
Okay, no, I don't.
I'm going to go
Bridget Jones' Diary, Colin Firth.
Oh, I like it.
You might end up in Firth Place.
Yes!
You might end up in first place.
Yes! Yes!
But I don't have my call in. Jones' diary.
My call in help.
My turn.
Get it?
I just have to knock this one off
just because no one else has bothered
to go in that direction.
The Dark Knight.
I went down that direction.
Yeah, well, eventually, I guess.
Phone booth, Colin Farrell.
Phone booth.
Yeah.
Very good.
Dark Knight Rises
Gary Oldman
Just to knock that completely out
I always think that
Flanders looks like Gary Oldman
Yeah
On The Simpsons
David
No I'm tapped
What?
What?
That's the only call
I don't
No it's too easy
You got three people son
It's too early to
Do we got to lie to you?
I'm not like excited
about where this ended up
It's hard
I ate that cookie
I got nothing bro
Tigerland was all I had and I was really excited about that I'm gonna eat that cookie. I got nothing, bro.
Tigerland was all I had.
And I was really excited about that.
I was real proud of that.
That's why he couldn't save it for later?
Yeah, I had nothing to save for later.
Bro, I don't even know what Colin Firth looks like.
He looks like a thumb.
He looks like every math teacher ever.
Ramon is wearing his glasses.
Nothing?
No, I feel like I let Corey down.
All right.
That sucks.
Corey, what do you got?
Let's go to your lifeline.
I've decided to have lifelines Give you three actors names
And all you got is Tigerland
Where is
Where is Corey at
He's right there
Hey Corey do you have an answer
Mama Mia
Colin Firth
Mama Mia
Very good
And he's already signed to be in the sequel,
Papapia.
I'm going to say that
every time Mamma Mia comes up on this show
until it doesn't get a laugh,
which will never happen
because we're all children
in a room having alcohol.
Amy?
Bridget Jones Wedding, Colin Firth. Bridget Jones Wedding.
Colin Firth.
Bridget Jones what?
Wedding.
I'm so sad that I know that that's not the right title.
That I paid enough attention to Bridget Jones
to know that there's not one called Bridget Jones Wedding.
Bridget Jones Married.
Bridget Jones Baby. Bridget Jones Wedding. Married. Bridget Jones Baby.
Bridget Jones Hitch with Will
Smith.
Alright, so Amy needs to go to her lifeline.
Where's your lifeline?
I said another one. Who is it? Yeah, you said it wrong
though. Oh, what'd you say? Bridget Jones Baby.
You can't just keep guessing wrong things.
No, Bridget Jones Baby is real.
There's not a movie called Bridget Jones Baby.
Yes, there is.
No, there isn't.
Damn.
It came out last year.
I fucking saw it in the theater.
But that's not, there's definitely not,
it's definitely not called Bridget Jones' Baby.
It is.
What about Bridget Jones Goes to Camp?
Oh, that's an Ernest movie.
Sorry, I apologize.
I also think Bridget Jones' wedding is a thing, but
after this balcony situation...
Your confidence on that makes me think baby's a lie
as well.
I don't care. Don't show me.
No cell phones during the show.
Bridget.
Damn, everyone's showing you their phone Yeah it is baby you're right
But no wedding
But there's no wedding
The second one
The one you're trying to guess at
Has a title that
Is wedding
And this actual title
Very different
But Bridget Jones I'll guess that next But Bridget Jones' baby That's fucked up Next time around wedding and this actual title very different.
But Bridget Jones'
baby, that's fucked up. Next time around.
I thought I knew Bridget Jones.
You thought she was a pro-choice type of girl?
Alright.
I can't say
since I just looked at it
I can't say the second Bridget Jones title.
So instead...
But I could try to come up with it.
You can. You could try.
But no more of this just guessing a million guesses.
No, I wasn't. I really thought they were real.
Or more than one.
Bridget Jones' wedding.
The Lobster.
The Lobster.
Great movie about a softball pitcher Ramone
SWAT Colin Farrell
SWAT I like it
I mean I didn't like it but you know what I mean
Son of a bitch.
I wanted to say SWAT.
That's all I had was SWAT.
I'll see your SWAT, and I'll raise you
a Colin Farrell in Miami Vice.
Yes!
Yeah, you forgot that hunk of shit
God made, didn't you?
Yeah.
Colin Farrell
in Troy?
Troy?
Was he in Troy?
He should be.
The dark-haired general?
That's probably Orlando Bloom, maybe, you're thinking of?
Yeah.
He wasn't in one of those type of movies.
He was in one of those movies!
You're definitely thinking of a different white man.
That could be true. Which is understandable. That could be true. I think definitely thinking of a different white man. That could be true.
Which is understandable.
That could be true.
I think it's all the same white man.
I don't know what we're doing up here.
I thought he was Joseph Fiennes.
That's why.
I don't know who Joseph Fiennes is.
I don't know what we're doing.
I was sure it was going to be Eddie Murphy.
This is fun.
Wait, is Batman a genre that you like?
Or no, not Batman.
Harry Potter? Do you like Harry Potter?
Yeah, I love Harry Potter.
Yeah, he's Voldemort.
But he doesn't look...
I can't tell what he looks like in all that makeup.
Ralph Fiennes?
Joseph Fiennes.
Who's that?
From Shakespeare in Love.
Joseph Fiennes is in Shakespeare in Love. Really? There's two Fiennes. Oh. Who's that? From Shakespeare in Love. Joseph Fiennes is in Shakespeare in Love.
Really? There's two Fiennes?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I have no idea what's going on.
I'm learning a lot today, guys.
It doesn't stop at the Fiennes household.
You know,
your brother was just recently...
So wait,
who was Voldemort?
Ralph Fiennes.
I got this, you guys.
Who was in Troy?
All right, so David, you're officially out.
I'm out.
I'm sorry, Corey.
But really good try.
Amy.
Who still has a lifeline?
Ramon and Dan, have you used your lifelines?
No.
I still have one.
No, you don't. Yes, I do. Did you takeelines? No. I still have one. No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
Did you take it away?
I'm fine with that.
No, you can have it.
I like rules.
Pride and Prejudice, Colin Firth.
The Jane Austen novel that inspired the Bridget Jones series.
Weren't we just talking about this before the show?
Yep.
I was like, if it goes down this road, I'm fucked.
I mean, I was clearly fucked to begin with.
I love Jane Austen.
Yeah, I don't think he's in that.
He is in Pride and Prejudice.
He's Mr. Darcy in both of them.
That's why it's so magical.
Because you're like, wow, how did Zellweger get the real Mr. Darcy?
But when you say both of them, what would the other one be?
I mean, he's in Pride and Prejudice and Bridget Jones.
Oh.
Yeah.
He's the Mr. Darcy of our generation.
I'll let it go.
You're going to lose anyway.
Are you mad at me?
I'm not mad.
Please.
I do not mad. Please.
I do not want the audience to help with this.
We will call the corrections department on Tuesday because this is a long weekend.
If it's just the audience yelling out what they think,
they just yell out a bunch of shit that is incorrect
and it's fucking annoying.
So just keep it
to yourselves henceforth
and I will muddle
through.
Don't make me turn this into a podcast
that never has an audience because the
name tag selection part would be stupid.
I'd still go through with it.
I'd bring in some name tags so they'd have something to choose from.
Alright, my turn, right?
Okay, Horrible Bosses.
Oh yeah, Colin Farrell.
Who is that?
Colin Farrell.
Dracula, Gary Oldman.
Settle down.
I will say it.
That's not the full name of the movie?
No.
Bram Stoker's Dracula?
Yeah!
Yeah!
There it is.
I'm feeling a real Colin Farrell kick The Recruit
with Al Pacino
whoa
yeah
yeah
okay Amy
Brennan that's your name right
yeah
oh I love that movie.
Great one.
In Bruges.
Colin Farrell.
That's a really good pull.
I like that.
But thinking of Colin Farrell makes me want to say Saving Mr. Banks.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Ramon?
Uh, what's up with my lifeline, dude?
Oh!
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Turns out they're in his case.
Colin Farrell's running around going,
where are they? Just look at that thing.
Still on this Colin Farrell kick.
I like it. Let's go
Daredevil with Ben Affleck.
Play bullseye.
Yeah.
I felt like that was appropriate for the bullseye
Good job
Amy is it over?
I think I know the title of this movie
The King's Speech
Oh
Son of a bitch
Kingsmen The Secret Service damn it that's what I was going to say
Jamison
Ramone
we believe in you, Ramon.
Thank you.
It's just you and my parents.
Your dad's going to cheer you up
with some pork shoulder.
It's so good.
Yeah, my dad's going to cheer me up with pork shoulder and trying to have sex
with women before I try to have sex with them. What's up Ramone's dad? Shout out Ramone's dad.
Can I can I can I use Colin Farrell's sex tape?
No.
That one's... That's too long.
Or too short.
I could have gone that way too, I guess.
No, it's really big.
He seems like he's got a big one.
I want to say that Egypt movie.
Yes, the Egypt movie
I think it's called
Egypt's Baby
Alright Ramon
You run a really tight schedule
I'm off
I'm sorry
I lost
Tim where are you? Sid and Nancy really tight schedule here at your festival. We gotta wrap this up. So he's out. Dan?
Tim, where are you?
Sid and Nancy.
Sid and Nancy.
Great Gary Oldman.
Thank you.
Amy? Bridget Jones, Diary 2.
Dan Soder is our winner!
What's it called?
I want to thank Tim.
It's fucking called
Bridget Jones,
The Edge of Reason.
Oh my God.
Yeah, what a ridiculous...
It should be, you're right.
It should be Bridget Jones' wedding,
Bridget Jones' baby.
Yeah.
She's on the edge of reason
and then she has a fucking baby?
It's not the right time to do it.
Seems irresponsible.
That's most women, though.
Huh, that took a turn.
Shout out to Ramon's mom.
Where's the person Dan was playing for?
Where are you at?
Right over there.
Tim.
Repo Tim.
Yeah, Tim, come get all your prizes.
Come on, Tim.
You won it. Wait, Dan won the whole game? You won it. Yeah, that's right get all your prizes. Come on, Tim, you won it.
Wait, Tim won the whole game?
You won it, yeah, that's right.
Even though I had all those points from earlier?
Tortoise in the hair, Amy, tortoise in the hair.
Amy, just keep coming back.
You'll figure out how it works eventually.
Here, no, this too, dude.
Get all that.
You missed the bulk of it.
Have fun with that fart gun.
The cake is ours.
And the watermelon's ours.
You don't get the watermelon,
you better fucking walk away, dude.
Everybody else, does the watermelon have a shithead on it?
No.
I mean, I think just the watermelon itself is a shithead.
No, I don't think that's what they meant.
Does this one have it?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Two of them don't have it.
Is there a separate thing with this?
No, there was a shithead on his.
There's a shithead on one of the name tags. Oh, and here we go. There's a shithead on his. There's a shithead on one of the name tags.
There's a shithead on his.
We don't care who's his, Dan.
You won.
What about Sarah?
You won. You're the winner.
We don't care about Sarah either.
I just want you to say it again.
I'm not going to say it.
He got the prizes.
This is a consolation prize.
Where is this person?
Oh, when you passed up the napkin?
So who am I missing?
Ramones?
Oh, where's Watermelon?
Where's Watermelon at?
And I hope that becomes your nickname from now on.
Oh, there we go.
Do you have one?
Well, no, just tell me.
Yeah, we gotta wrap this up.
Joe Buck?
Hell yeah!. Joe Buck. Okay. Hell yeah!
Hell yeah!
Fuck Joe Buck.
I'm with that.
He was telling me so I could say it at the end.
We didn't need to repeat it into our microphones.
What do you got to plug, Ramone?
I've got...
I'll be touring more this upcoming year.
Go to blazerramone.com.
I'm going to be on an episode of Broad City
for like five seconds this season.
Yeah.
And I will be in LA until I run out of money,
which will be probably this month.
Aw.
Well, thank you, Ramon, for throwing this terrific festival
Dan Soder
what do you got coming up
I'll be on the road you can check out all my dates at
dansoder.com and then watch
my half hour Netflix special as part of the stand ups
and the bonfire
on Comedy Central Radio
Sirius XM 95.
And Billions will be back in the spring.
Yeah.
Very nice.
David Borey?
At Twitter, at the G is silent.
I'm on tour for like the next month or so.
And listen to all Fantasy Everything podcasts.
So good.
That'd be pretty cool.
It's funny.
You're telling people that have only heard me call you David Borey that the G pretty cool. It's funny, you're telling people
that have only heard me call you David Borey
that the G is silent.
They're like, what G?
Where?
What's going on?
So his name is G-B-O-R-I-E.
E.
Yes, there you go.
But it looks like the Gisland on Twitter,
so that's fun.
You're into Gis stuff.
That's fun.
And Amy Miller?
This coming Friday,
September 8th, I'll be in New York at
Muchmore's in Brooklyn, headlining a show
as part of the Cinderblock Festival, so
come to that, because I get half the door.
And then follow me
on Twitter, Amy Miller. Great set, Amy.
Here's the knob.
And I have a new
podcast called Who's Your God?
Check that out.
It's about religion.
It's really fun.
Yay.
Religion is really fun.
One more time for all my guests, Ramon Rivas, Dan Soder, David Borey, and Amy Miller.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
I'll try to come back sooner, Cleveland,
if you want to be yelled at more
for yelling out answers and information.
And I'll be in Portland September 15th and 16th
at Helium. It's a gas.
And as always,
I'm going to do these, in my opinion,
I'm going to go from the least horrible one
to the most horrible.
The biggest shithead.
I'm going to say third,
and then we're going to cue the closing music,
and we're all going to leave in an orderly manner.
Joe Buck is a shithead.
Nazis are a shithead. Yeah! Nazis are a shithead.
Yeah!
And the Cheesecake Factory is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of Gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
because Doug loves movies!