Doug Loves Movies - Dan Trachtenberg, Iliza Shlesinger and Kurt Braunohler guest
Episode Date: August 12, 2016Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes director Dan Trachtenberg and comics Iliza Shlesinger and Kurt Braunohler to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy an...d California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Coming to you from in front of a professional audience at the Nerd Melt showroom in the back of Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles.
It's Thursday, August 11, 2016.
Spreckenzie name tags.
I think there's going to be
a bunch tonight. Yes.
Very nice.
Incept Jen, all the way from St. Louis.
Yeah, brought her name tag
and her carry-on or her pack bag.
This thing I saw today
on the Twitter.
It's Dara Devil. because your name is Dara and it's flip it around show everybody sitting behind you the It's like super, super duper creative.
Like, how did you, what is it made out of?
It's foam and glue and paint.
What, you made it?
We made it.
Oh, team effort.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, it's, I don't know.
It's great.
Yeah.
It's really cool looking.
I, you know, we'll see if it gets chosen,
but whether it gets chosen or not, either way
I want to get a picture of it.
Or I guess I could just retweet the one you already sent me
on Twitter.
I saw the Brockfist Club
on Twitter. Your last
name is Brock? Yeah, because that would be
a horrible first name for a lady.
Well, this isn't a terrible idea,
taking the mic out and getting closer
so I can actually read these things.
20,000 Lawrences Under the Sea.
That sounds like a horrifying movie.
Just dealing with a bunch of guys.
It's Lawrence.
Don't call me Larry.
This hunt for Reed October is so small.
It's one of the smaller name tags
I've seen. Steve Wars, that's good.
Is it
a particular episode?
Episode...
Oh, and the date.
Yeah, he had to
double check. He had to look at it again.
The Drews Brothers.
That's a lovely drawing.
Yeah, it's no dare-a-devil,
but it's pretty creative.
All right, great job, everybody.
Thank you for bringing name tags.
I know people that live in Los Angeles
have a lot more to worry about
than their name tag.
They got their whole careers.
Pasha of Persia?
Yep.
Okay, and what's your say Natasha Natasha on of the dead very nice all right my guess
they're gonna have some some tough choices to make Doug plugs San Francisco
finally here this Saturday August 13th is your lucky day because I'm interrupting the classic
The Rock in the
Majestic.
This guy's enjoying the idea of it.
He's not going to be there
because he probably lives here, but it's at the Majestic
Castro Theater.
Tuesday night, Doug Loves Movies is
over at UCB Franklin at
9.30 and on
Wednesday,
August 17th,
Doug Loves Movies is in Chicago
at Thalia Hall, which I'm told
is kind of a
far-reaching...
That's not the right way to say it, but
it's on the outskirts of Chicago.
I think it's in a place called Pilsen
or something like that. Anyway, you guys
will figure it out.
Chicago knows what to do.
But L.A. friends, do not miss Tuesday's show.
Seriously.
Nashville, Seattle, Denver, Orlando, Dallas, Boston,
you all get Doug Loves Movies tapings in the next couple of months.
Douglovesmovies.com is the place to go to get into those shows.
Have I mentioned that if you're in L.A. on Tuesday,
you should go to DLM at the UCB Theater Franklin location?
Yes. Yes, I have.
Somebody do a shh back there in that room.
They're just so loud in the room waiting to come on. Very excited guests.
From the corrections department,
in the SiriusXM episode
of Doug Loves Movies on OP Radio.
Did anybody hear that?
Does anybody here subscribe to SiriusXM?
One guy?
That's cool.
We opened the show up to some new listeners.
But for those of you who are listening to this
and heard it, I said that
music from Pulp Fiction was from Reservoir Dogs.
I don't know how I could have made such a horrible mistake
at 9 a.m.
It won't happen again.
Until it happens again.
And no, the I didn't have any weed is not the reason.
9 a.m. doesn't stop me from smoking weed.
I got a
Douglas Movies t-shirt in the prize bag.
We've got a
I'll unbox it in a second, but we got
a box from our friends at Loot Crate.
I was on at midnight
last night and lost to my
good friend Jimmy Pardo.
Did I say good friend? I meant former good
friend Jimmy Pardo. So I say good friend? I meant former good friend Jimmy Pardo.
And but so I had to bring the box of Delush's cookies that they give every guest on that show.
I saw a play in New York, a very moving, powerful play called The Humans. And I saved my sippy cup.
They give you, you know, I ordered a vodka and they give it to you in a sippy cup.
And and I think they didn't even put ice in it because it's a drama and they give it to you in a sippy cup and I think they didn't even put ice in it
because it was a drama and they didn't want the sound of the ice
clinking in somebody's glass
and oh this is nice, completely unopened
it's a Lenny Kravitz CD
it's called Baptism
and I love when they have to guess
what the hit singles are going to be on a CD
because it's like featuring the songs
Where Are We Runnin'
and California.
Two great Lenny Kravitz songs
that none of us know.
A little pipe from friends over at Peacemaker.
And okay, so that's all the stuff I brought,
but let's dig into
the loot crate.
The loot crate has so much great stuff in it
that when you unpack it,
it's hard to get it all back in
into the same box.
Look at this, a fucking labyrinth.
David Bowie
t-shirt is in there.
And whatever's in this
let me pull it out
let me whip it out
can I?
hey what is this thing?
I don't know what that thing is
I don't have time to get into it
oh some socks
that uh
what's the theme of these socks?
Harry Potter thank you you guys are these socks? Harry Potter. Harry Potter, thank you.
You guys are great readers.
It says Harry Potter right on there.
And, oh, a pin.
There's always a pin.
And I don't know what,
that's probably like a Harry Potter thing too.
And yeah, so Loot Crate, lots of stuff in there and fun to unbox.
Every day is Christmas.
Well, every month there's one day of Christmas.
If you subscribe to Loot Crate.
$3 off if you use the code that I'll mention in the ad that's coming up later in the show.
All right, I brought all that stuff.
My guests brought some stuff.
I'm excited about this lineup.
We got a new bee and two old bees.
So let's get them out here. Please give a big warm welcome to Dan Trachtenberg and Eliza Schlesinger and Kurt Braunohler. Hey, you guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Yeah, sure.
Use your microphone.
Why not?
Hello.
Yeah.
Hello.
Let's say hello to the first-time guest first.
I know a lot of people like ladies first, but I like the to talk to the virgins first
Please give a big warm welcome to Dan Trachtenberg everybody
Case you didn't recognize the name director of 10 Cloverfield Lane one
One of the best movies
so far this year.
When did that come out? February?
March. March 11th.
March 11th. Oh, yeah, you never forget.
we were talking backstage
about how there might
be more sort of things from that universe that J.J. Abrams is going to produce.
Possibly.
Maybe, but you're not allowed to say anything.
Yeah, that's a place that's pretty secretive.
Do you have like a next project lined up, another feature?
I actually just got back from London shooting an episode of Black Mirror.
Nice.
Which will be out in October 21st.
There's another batch of six
and I'm the sixth episode.
Can you say whether or not Jon Hamm was in your
episode? I can. He's not.
Unfortunately.
Have you ever met him? I've not
met him. He's so nice. Very sweet
fellow. I like him a lot.
He's been on the show a few times,
and that's really the only thing I know about Black Mirror,
other than it's also people love it.
You have to watch it.
It's the best show.
It's phenomenal.
There you go.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, thank you so much for being here, man.
That's really awesome.
Eliza Schlesinger is here, everybody.
Hello.
Thank you.
Return guest to the show.
Yeah.
And, um...
I won last time.
I was...
You said that before I got out, ultra competitive.
So, uh, yeah, we got a couple of, what I assume are big nerds here on the panel with you.
Yeah.
And, uh... I'm sure they love that are big nerds here on the panel with you. Yeah.
I'm sure they love that you assume that.
Well, I mean, seriously.
Dude, look at this shirt that dude's wearing.
He's got a shirt designed by Rob Schraub that is a movie that doesn't exist.
Indeed.
It's in our movie.
But it's in 10 Cloverfield Lane. That's what they're watching at one point in the bunker.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right. Yeah. That's great.
Very cool.
You know,
did people get
super tired
of being in that bunker
even though it was
just a film set?
Well...
Did they feel like...
That's what I do.
I introduce the next guest
and then go right back
to what I'm really
interested in.
I got a lot of
John Goodman questions.
Does he ever say
yabba dabba doo
just in casual conversation?
He did drop
a Lebowski
moment
and everyone
got really quiet.
Was there somebody
there named Donnie
and he told him
to do something?
Shut the fuck up.
I'm often Danny and I was hoping at least once
he would tell me to shut the fuck up,
but it didn't happen.
Oh, that's too bad.
It's a good thing, ultimately.
All right.
Well, thank you for coming back here, Eliza.
And I hope...
I wish you luck in today's games.
Thank you.
And Kurt Braunohler's here, everybody.
Hello.
I am the opposite of hyper-competitive.
I am here to lose.
I am not good at games of any kind.
Well, I think you and Eliza, though,
should at least say in unison,
welcome to Ikea.
It's a real Scandinavian thing going on on that end of the panel.
It's swarthier on this end.
Please check out the Bjorks.
It gets more Eastern that way.
Should we do it?
Should we say it?
How is your team doing in the Olympics, you guys?
We're not competitive.
We don't know.
Oh, are we saying? Yeah. Welcome're not competitive. We don't know. Oh, are we saying...
Welcome to
IKEA.
You know how to say it and everything. Very nice.
And
this is your 15th time on the
show. Oh, I don't know if it's that many
times. It's nowhere near that many times.
Maybe five. I just picked a number.
Yeah, it might be more around five.
You're a 15-time guest to me.
Thank you.
What does it say on your mug?
It says I want to be a pretty girl.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Sounds a little competitive.
Oh, fighting words.
No, I mean, if I really was competitive, I'd be a pretty girl.
It's just I've been pushing it down.
And what's in that mug Just out of curiosity
That's a vodka soda
There you go
Just to wake up a little bit guys
Yeah
He drinks to wake up
He drinks to get a little energy going
That's the truth
It gives me a little bit of juice
That's what I call it
My juice
And when I wake up
I go I got my juice
First thing in the morning
It's a Danish thing
It's a Danish thing
You guys wouldn't get it Yeah It's a Danish thing. It's a Danish thing. You guys wouldn't get it.
Yeah.
It's a Scandinavian callback.
Fuck you guys.
You know, Danish is a different...
Wait.
All right, forget it.
It's a whole region.
Don't get into it.
Let's not offend anybody.
They're all just fucking Nazis to us, right?
They love podcasts there,
so I don't want to risk offending
anybody.
Dan, what do you have there for
the old prize bag?
It's an interesting, top-secret
looking envelope.
I gotta talk.
Do you want me to take it out while you talk about it?
This is an unsleeved,
naked VHS
cassette of You Can't Do That on Television.
Holy shit.
I ordered this on eBay.
That's awesome.
Along with Salute Your Shorts and its mothers.
Wow.
And I lost, well, I don't even know if it came with a sleeve, but it's great.
Now you have to hunt down a VCR to watch this.
We're looking at this like it's a moon rock.
I know.
Like we've never looked at this.
Oh, man.
Have you ever watched this episode?
This is, I think, many episodes.
Oh.
I received it.
Haven't watched it.
I think they may even be on YouTube, so this is sort of obsolete.
Yeah.
It's a VHS tape.
It's obsolete.
Some hipster's got a VHS VCR.
Someone's got it.
VHS VCR.
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
And you brought it in an 8x10 envelope. Well, I just didn't want to. Which is how all the VHS tapesCR. Someone's got it. VHS VCR. Yeah, it's pretty nice. And you brought it in an 8x10 envelope.
Well, I just didn't want to.
Which is how all the VHS tapes are carried.
Right.
And yeah, thank you so much for bringing it.
Sure, sure.
Wow, you really went crazy.
Do you not have any, like, 10 Cloverfield-laid posters or DVDs or anything like that?
Yeah, man.
I, you know, not on me.
We just moved recently
and I was asking my wife
where we keep those things.
Didn't have my wife.
Couldn't locate it.
What about Black Mirror stuff?
Yeah, they didn't give me any cool schwags.
But you could take stuff like paper towels,
snacks.
I mean, I can get paper towels and say they were from Black Mirror.
Yeah.
Do you guys know why it's called Black Mirror, by the way?
Why is it called Black Mirror?
Oh, here we go.
Because it's this.
This is the Black Mirror, right?
The Black Mirror on the phone?
Yeah, when it's turned off.
It's not just the phone, but television screens,
all the screens, they're all Black Mirror.
It's commentary on the future of technology.
But I thought it was because it was like a dark reflection on the side.
Yeah, that too.
That too.
Yeah.
And it's also,
I think it's an Arcade Fire,
it's like the name
of an Arcade Fire tracker.
First and foremost,
it's that.
Yeah.
Remember the one
where she's like,
white bear,
white bear.
You are a fan, awesome.
Remember white bear?
White bear.
That's why these two
haven't seen
10 Cloverfield Lane
is because they're just
at home watching Black Mirror.
What did you bring for the bag, Eliza?
Okay.
I brought two things and then one thing.
I brought this today because we got a box of these.
This is my stand-up special,
but I'm not sure if it's a DVD or a CD.
So if it's a CD, it goes in the same bucket as vhs tape
um but it's funny because i didn't know this was going to be the artwork on the cover and it's
black and white except for the pink stripe in my hair so it's kind of like schindler's list like
the little girl with like the red i felt like you guys would like that only it's like a lot funnier
and then this is a keychain from my new special because it's about not what you want to give to
the audience but what you have in your office so we have that and then this uh a keychain from my new special because it's about not what you want to give to the audience, but what you have in your office.
So we have that.
And then this, a Danish, speaking of, skin care company,
sent me a lot of products,
but I don't know much about Danish skin care,
and I'm kind of into what I put on my face.
So I brought it for you.
You see, if you like it, it seems fine.
It just says zero color fragrance.
They just saw you you and they're like
you seem Danish
put this on your
fucking face
and it's only SPF 15
which I guess
they don't have a lot
of sun there
but anyways
it seems fine
and I googled it
and the products
are worth a decent
amount of money
so I have not used it
there you go
and I've discerned
that this is a CD
it's a CD
that's so shitty
why would they make that
I'm sorry
people still like
hard copies.
Yeah.
CD.
I'll sign it.
You can have a coaster.
Yeah, there you go.
Here, I got a Sharpie.
Let's go ahead.
You can go ahead and sign it right now.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll be right here.
Yeah.
Kurt, what do you got?
All right.
I always bring something shitty, so I thought I'd bring something good.
This is, first off, it has a carrying case, a little bag.
This is kind of cool.
It's like this bamboo
speaker. It's
made by Symphonized
and it's rechargeable
and it's fucking loud as shit.
And I kind of don't know why
I'm giving it away. I'm not sponsored
by them. This wasn't schwag or anything.
I'm just giving you something I bought.
But if Symphonized wants to get in touch with me,
I do like your products,
although it doesn't seem like it
because I'm giving them away for free.
But it's cool.
It's like a little bamboo wood speaker.
Yeah, I like it.
Pass it down here because I might hang on to that.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
People never complain when I take something out of the prize bag.
When you get the prize bag, if that's not in there, please get in touch with me.
All right?
We've got to break this cycle.
What do these things go for, like retail?
I think 50 bucks.
It has the same feeling of like if you turned it like that, it would go.
Yes.
It's the exact same size of a moo cow.
A moo cow.
Well, there you go.
All of that stuff is in the bag, so it's pretty good.
It's a great bag, guys.
There's so much in the bag, I had to kick the cookies out of the bag,
so the cookies will be separate.
Cookies?
So, yeah, don't worry.
They're not heavy cookies at all.
Those will go down real nice.
Dan, what was the last motion picture you saw?
Last movie I saw was Aladdin, actually.
Disney's Aladdin, the cartoon I watched on Blu-ray a couple nights ago.
Why did that happen?
Why did that happen?
I bought it.
It's one of my favorites.
It's my favorite of the disney
cartoons and i hadn't watched it uh and i discovered the blu-ray when moving uh and it's
delightful that movie charming movie i'm pretty sure not to bring everybody down but this is
probably i think is the anniversary of the passing of the great robin williams two years ago. Two years ago, yeah. Today? Yeah, today, yeah.
And, you know, I don't care for the movie Hook, and everybody knows that.
And my Twitter feed has been flooded with people sending me pictures of they reunited all the kids from Hook. I saw that.
I am a fan, by the way.
Right?
Well, they reunited them as a tribute to Robin Williams, and I find that very sweet.
But people keep sending me pictures like,
fuck you, Doug.
The Lost Boys are alive,
and they're going to come get you.
And so I have very mixed feelings about it,
because I'm sad about Robin Williams,
but I will never, that won't make me like Hook.
It's not going to turn me around.
But it's nice to hear that you liked it.
By the way, I also love toys.
What?
Maybe.
I'm glad I love the movie you made.
Because your taste is shitty.
Nothing like toys.
No, no, nothing like toys.
Very different from toys.
I doubt there's a single toy in 10 Cloverfield Lane.
Eliza, what was the last movie you saw?
Well, I watched Sideways last night
because we were drinking wine all day
and I was like, this is the best one.
But in theaters, the last movie,
and this is more impressive to you guys,
I saw that documentary Tickled.
And?
And it was super weird.
It seems so weird.
It makes you so uncomfortable.
It's very weird. I don't know it It makes you so uncomfortable. It's very weird.
I don't know it.
Tell me about it.
It's a doc.
Have you seen it or heard of it?
I have not seen it, but people have spoken of it.
And I have mixed feelings about whether I want to see it or not.
I won't spoil anything for you, except for the ending.
It's a documentary.
It's basically this New Zealand journalist.
He sees this video online about competitive tickling.
And it sounds ridiculous.
And it's so funny.
And it's these guys.
And they're in sports uniforms.
And they're tickling each other.
One guy's tied up.
The other guy's tickling him.
So just like you right now, you're like, oh, I want to know more about that.
But kind of keep my distance.
So he emails the company that makes the videos.
And this is all in a documentary.
And the company is so angry back to him.
And they start calling him fag.
And they're like, we don't want your journalism. Get the fuck out of here. and they start calling him like fag and they're like,
we don't want your journalism.
Get the fuck out of here.
And they start harassing him.
So he as a journalist wants to dig deeper.
He is gay, by the way.
The fag was like extra pointed
when they called him that.
It wasn't just like a thing.
And so then it becomes,
the whole documentary becomes
not about why is that thing,
but like who's putting these videos out there
and why are they so protective and so angry?
So it's like this deep dive
into this like weird wormhole about who's making these videos maybe these tickling people
are kind of embarrassed about it it's so much like fight club you know don't talk about tickle club
it's like it's this like weird manipulative i don't want to give anything away but it goes
in this weird like people being manipulated and then you find out who's behind it and why and
it's just this very like disconcerted you're watching you just you leave the theater like you feel bad saying you were entertained because it's so
fucking weird turns out sea world is behind all of that and uh it's a sequel to blackfish and uh
i don't think they'll be around much longer how much tickling is in the movie it sounds like
there's a lot of other stuff yeah not as much as much as one would hope. I thought it was going to be like, look at the sport of competitive tickling.
And it takes a sharp left.
And it gets very dark.
Go see it on a date if you're both happy people.
If you're not, you're not going to want to go out again.
Because it's a very uncomfortable movie.
All right, let's talk about Sideways some more.
Because I love that movie.
It's a phenomenal film.
Yeah.
Paul Giamatti wasn't even nominated for that movie. It's a phenomenal film. Paul Giamatti wasn't even nominated
for that movie.
Or American Splendor.
Two years in a row.
Maybe not. Who knows?
I love Billions. I love it when Billions
gets mad and he does stuff.
His name in the show is Billions?
Yeah, he's always just like, I'm Mr. Billions
and I don't give a shit.
I love that part of Billions.
I had no idea that it was his name.
No, it's not. That's not his name.
It's not his name!
I call him Billions.
I call him Bobby Billions.
What are you doing, Bobby Billions?
What do you call Damien Lewis's character?
Isn't he rich also?
Yeah, he's Bobby Millionaires.
You don't even know.
You don't own a TV, do you? Nope.
I painted one on my wall and I
look at it. Black Mirror. It's kind of a
Black Mirror, yes.
Racing for that one.
What was the last movie you saw, Kurt?
The Nice Guys.
Yes! Yes!
The Nice Guys
is a fucking amazing movie.
Yeah, it's really good.
And I don't feel like
it got enough press.
It did not.
Ugh, such a good movie.
We had writer-director
Shane Black
in the very seat
that you're sitting in.
Oh, man,
I'm gonna come right now.
When that movie came out.
And I had to,
I kind of stutteringly
apologized to him
for people not getting
how great it is.
It's so amazing.
I was really blown away.
Yeah, it's so good.
So if you haven't seen it yet, check out The Other.
The Nice Guys.
The Nice Guys.
I almost call it The Other Guys.
Yeah, I want to call it Two Guys.
I mean, I think that's problem one,
is it's just got a too generic of a title.
It makes a lot of sense when you see the movie,
because it's funny that his business card says that,
and he's a fucking shitty lawyer.
Was it The Other Guys? The one with Will Ferrell and Mark will ferrell and yeah that was the other other guy i love that
the other nice guys you did i really liked it he has a great line in it he threatens to lock him
up in the federal reserve and he's like i don't think you understand what that is i think it's
a great a great snubbed line great and the end sequence of that movie is basically I think a more clear
version of people gonna hate me for saying this the movie he just did that
was nominated for every Oscar was that the big short yeah the end credits of
the other guys like goes through the financial crisis with graphics and super
clear and oh yeah it does sure it was great yeah. I've never seen the other guys.
I had no idea.
It's a cool movie.
I haven't seen it either.
Oh, yeah, and it's good.
The two of them are great together.
I thought you were talking about Anchorman.
No, I got to see that movie.
I'm talking about Elf.
Oh, I love Elf.
Naomi Watts is great.
Not that a breakdown of the financial situation
in this country fits better at the end of the other guys
than it would at the end of Anchorman.
At least Anchorman was about the news.
Sort of.
Well, I really
got to see it.
I even have a physical DVD
of it that I've just never gotten around to
putting in. I saw Daddy's Home.
Is that what it was called? With Wahlberg
and Farrell reunited.
And I didn't love it
i saw her i saw a ditty's home and i loved it it's just good let's move on
yeah i'm not going to help you on this one yeah yeah and i'll just hang myself with ditty's home
puff daddy comes back to bad boy Records Nothing has changed That was good
Alright well
That was a wonderful discussion about cinema
Lots of good things for people to check out
Yeah the other guy is cinema
And
Now is the part of the show where Burt Kreischer can turn it off
Because I'm about
to say let the games begin
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Back to the show.
I got a, I got in
Sepgen. Yeah. Sepgen.
And it's got your face and her face.
And then she gave me the, it's like a really shitty assortment of donut holes. Like it's $1.99 because it's got your face and her face and then she gave me the it's like a really shitty
assortment of doughnut holes like it's a dollar ninety nine because it's like powdered and shitty
but it's still cake can I see those they're for I see those and then I'll have one to the poster
that was part of me and said you want one Kurt yeah I'm a donut what color do you want? White. Come on.
I like powdered donuts, guys.
Hashtag white powder.
White powder.
White holes matter.
White powder. White powder. I love it.
Do you want one, Dan?
What's the brown one?
Do you want one, Eliza?
You selected them and you didn't even want one?
I did it because of the poster.
She bribed you with the donuts.
She didn't bribe me.
She made me uncomfortable.
There's a difference.
All right, so I'm going to throw the rest of them.
No!
She said they're for throwing, right?
Did you say that?
She said that.
Get ready to be sticky.
Right into his hand.
Tio wants one.
Boom.
I want to bat a thousand on this.
I want to hit the person every time.
We're doing good so far.
Who else?
Okay.
Oh!
That one go over your head?
Let's try again.
Yeah, you don't want it off the floor.
These are gross just off of my fingers
little i'll throw snickers out there we go we got it oh you weren't ready for that that just
hit you in the chest good old snicker tits there we go nice nice, nice. A gentleman. All right, one more gooey, disgusting donut further back.
Is there one further back?
There we go.
Bert Kreischer's also on my poster.
Oh, okay, yeah.
We always throw donuts with Bert, it seems.
All right, so what's the name of your person you're playing for?
It's not Jeff Tate, but he's on the poster.
Me?
Kurt.
Oh, me.
Oh, it's Get Jeff Tate but he's on the poster Kurt oh me oh it's a get rich or die
Brian that's awesome and there it is by the way can we talk about what a letdown that movie was
as a huge fan and I wonder if you were as well in America silence it shouldn't be silent it was
just an oddly composed sentence do you remember do? It is. It was. I understand that.
What are you talking about?
In America, Jim Sheridan.
Do you smell toast right now?
There's a movie called In America. Yes. You don't remember this movie?
But what does that have to do with Get Rich or Try Trying?
That was the director's follow-up movie.
Really? This was a disappointment in America.
People saw it in other box offices
in Japan. I get it. Horribly composed sentence.
Totally.
It's a show about listening.
Do you guys remember the HBO show Made in America where it was about fucking jeans?
Do you remember the movie?
Fuck that show. That show sucked.
But if we're talking movies, Made in America is...
Coming to America.
No, Made in America is Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson and Will Smith.
The sequel was Coming to America. No, they in America. Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson and Will Smith.
The sequel was Coming to America.
No, they weren't. They weren't unrelated.
Yep.
But, okay, so Jim Sheridan directed, he's done a bunch of great things.
Right.
My Left Foot.
Right.
Yeah, and In America.
And In America.
And then he directed Get Rich or Die Trying.
That was the follow-up.
Boom.
It was so not good.
Too much time in between movies.
I think, perhaps.
Right?
How many years was it?
Like 15.
Or maybe too much 50 Cent between movies.
Yeah, it could be that.
He made a 50 Cent movie.
We worked out the same shit once.
What are you going to do with that budget?
I appreciate that.
I'm upset about that.
I appreciate it.
Dan likes it because he knows about budgets.
Good budget joke.
How much did
10 Cloverfield Lane
cost to make?
Ooh.
I'm a guess.
I'm a guess.
Go for it.
And I have not seen it,
but I have a guess.
This could be a game.
It's a lot.
A lot of it's in a bunker.
I haven't seen it,
but I know it's mostly
in a bunker.
And then there's
some shit at the end.
I'm going to go for... I've never. And then there's some shit at the end. I'm gonna go for...
I've never heard spoilers from someone who hasn't seen
the movie.
I'm gonna go for $6 million.
Wait, can we all guess?
Can we all guess? Yeah, Eliza wants
to guess. I know that Ghostbusters
was made for $144
billion, so...
What?
I'm gonna go... Sorry, read variety.
I'm going to go...
I'm gonna go with... I bet you
it costs $60 million
to make 10 Cloverfield Lane.
Do you wanna venture out? So we got 6
and 60? I added a little
T to his guess. And you've
seen 10 Cloverfield Lane, Doug?
Well, I'll just do the classic Price is
Right move and guess
$6,001,000. Fuck you.
You piece of shit.
The correct answer is
around 10.
Around 10 Cloverfield Lane million
dollars.
The studios like that
when you put the number of what it's going to cost
in the title.
That's why they did not like A Million Ways to Die in the West.
Oh, that's pretty cheap, right?
That movie costs a lot more than that.
All right, we're going to play some games.
You guys ready?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This first little number is a game that we often play with Mark Wahlberg,
but I thought, why does it just have to be Mark Wahlberg?
Any one of my friends that comes on the show could help us out with this. So let's play a little game called Doing Lines with Jacob.
Jacob Searoff is here, everybody.
Hey, Doug Loves Movies, how's it going?
Frequent guest on the show and a big movie fan and prequel apologist.
Nothing to apologize for.
No that's true, you always point that out.
You have 100% support for it.
Before we get into this game, real quickly,
I just want to talk to you about...
Has anyone on the panel seen Suicide Squad?
I haven't seen it. Dan hasn't seen it.
None of us have seen it.
But Jacob took his kids to it. How old are they?
They're almost 12 and almost 6.
I love that. Almost 6.
You took a 5-year-old...
He's 6 in a month, Doug.
He's five in 11-12s.
Oh, almost in the 11-12s.
Five in 11-12s.
Okay.
So you took a six-year-old to see Suicide Squad.
I did.
Yeah, I did.
Did you have to explain the concept of suicide to a six-year-old?
No, it doesn't come up in the movie.
I mean, they say the word suicide.
But it's in the title.
Yeah, but it's, you know, he doesn't know what iron is either.
He could watch Iron Man.
He doesn't know.
He's fucking five. He doesn't know what iron is either. He could watch Iron Man. He's fucking five.
He doesn't know shit.
I see what you're saying.
You're a shitty dad and he has a bad diet.
He doesn't know what iron is.
All of his clothes are always wrinkled.
He has a deficiency, actually.
His clothes are wrinkled.
He doesn't know what iron is.
So, and they liked it?
They loved it.
They loved it. Loved it.
And I thought the beauty of that
is that they're not jaded
by the whole like
anti-DC,
the new DC universe thing
that's like kind of a,
it's a thing.
Sure, that would be my concern
going into it as well.
Yeah, the people just,
that was mine as well.
I don't want these kids
to grow up hating DC
just because they're not
Disney Marvel movies, you know?
And I feel like I tackled that.
And they loved the movie.
And you loved it too? I did too, but it's PG-13.
Did you guys see the movie? It's not that.
They didn't get at all freaked out, at all
scared. There was no moments
where... But I will say this. When I pulled up to
the theater, I thought, this is probably the wrong time to check,
but right as I parked my car, I thought, let me
just look at some... And I googled
like, is it cool to take the kids? Like, as I'm parked
in the car, about to walk into the theater. And I started
seeing some pretty disconcerting stuff. So I texted a friend who had seen the movie and he was like, yeah, probably don't do it. And I was like, is it cool to take the kids? Like, as I'm parked in the car about to walk into the theater. And I started seeing some pretty disconcerting stuff, so I texted a friend
who had seen the movie, and he
was like, yeah, probably don't do it. And I was like, well,
guys, maybe we're not going to do it. And they, like, started
crying. I was like, all right, we'll just go. Let's go.
Let's go in. We're already here. Let's go.
But it ended up being fine. They had a great time.
And I liked the movie a lot, by the way, if anybody cares.
Yeah, I mean, watching it's probably a better
option than sitting in the car, which is what
you would have done. Right. Well, there's less weed in the theater, but... All right, well, I'm glad watching it's probably a better option than sitting in the car, which is what you would have done.
Right.
Well, there's less weed in the theater.
All right.
Well, I'm glad you liked it because I just am loathe to see it because I just worry it'll make me mad.
I like all three of those movies, though.
The new DC ones.
Everybody hates them.
Yeah, we've talked about that before.
You liked Man of Steel.
Yeah, I like Man of Steel a lot. Okay.
Mainly just because Henry Cavill is so fucking sexy.
But he's not in Suicide Squad?
No, he's not.
His coffin is in it
for a second.
Spoiler alert.
But he's not in it.
So they're really
insisting on keeping him dead,
I guess.
Yeah, well,
until the next movie.
Yeah, right.
You can't have Justice League
without Henry Cavill.
What are they going to do?
Superman rises from the dead?
I don't know how they're
gonna handle it yeah i don't release it on easter i'm assuming yeah nice
i think i'll probably just who's that guy in a cape walking out of that cave
all right so jacob thank you for being here because because Mark Wahlberg's busy and I love this game.
Jacob has not run this by me.
He's going to say a line from a motion picture.
And you guys just use your microphones.
You can guess as often as you want until he tells you that you are correct.
Quick disclaimer, I don't do impressions, so I'm just doing this in my voice.
Sure, sure.
Time out.
I don't understand the rules.
He's going to say... A line from a movie say a line from a movie a line from a movie
we're just yelling titles whatever well sounds good I wouldn't say just guess
every movie you can think of I have my own way of playing right try to focus on
what might actually be the right answer and give it a shot all right first line
of this movie is cuz someday not the first line in the movie. It's the first line in the whole in the movie.
No, it's not.
Of course, the first line,
no, it's not.
That got confusing.
Yeah.
You don't need to set this up as the first line.
The idea is you're going to say a line.
How is this so fucked so fast?
Spice.
That's the only first line I know.
Spice.
And then they're going to guess.
We might need to go to another line,
but there's no reason to bring that up
unless that's necessary.
You're right, I'm confident that'll happen.
And I'd also like to say I'm not Mark Wahlberg.
I've never done this before.
Has Mark Wahlberg really been here?
Yeah, and he usually does the lines.
That's so awesome.
I was like, people love that,
so I'm gonna have to take him.
The beginning is a very delicate time.
I'm just doing lines for movies now.
What's that from?
That's from Dune.
The beginning is...
No.
Oh, of course it is.
The beginning is a very delicate time.
I can't believe I didn't know that.
Spice.
Dune.
Yeah.
Dune.
Sorry.
Let's go.
All right, here we go, Jacob.
Well, I was going to do Dune,
so you just fucked it up.
Yeah!
No, I didn't fuck it up.
I won it.
He already won, yeah.
You won, yeah.
He's the winner.
All right, here's the first line.
The line.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
I just know nobody's going to get it.
Wait, it's the only line?
It's part of the game. It's one of the lines. I told him to pick a movie that only has one line. Jesus Christ. Wow. I just know nobody's going to get it. Wait, it's the only line? It's part of the game.
It's one of your lines.
I told him to pick a movie that only has one line.
I'm confident that I'll get through a few lines.
It's my senior year film.
It's part of the game that he doesn't know the game.
Okay.
All right.
First line, two syllables.
Because some damn fool accused you of being the best.
I'm going to get you, sucker.
Jerry Maguire.
That's a black person you're imitating.
He said he doesn't do impressions,
but it did sound kind of black.
That's not the way white people talk.
Predator.
You fucking got it.
That's it.
Dan Trachtenberg.
That was like two guesses.
And then they clasp hands.
They did, and then he says, CIA got you pushed into a castle. Is it a blackasp hands. I didn't, they didn't.
Then he says CIA got to push it to me.
Is it a black person saying the line?
Yes, it's Carl Weathers.
But I had these, I was sure nobody was going to get that.
That's why I opened with the first.
And I had, I was going to do the, I had the big pussy joke.
Starring Shane Black.
That's why I was like, you don't have to say more than one line probably.
Yeah, fuck.
I thought it was a really good panel.
That might be the first line of the movie.
No, it's not.
No, that's not the rules. You can't do the first line. I know. But I was so confident a really good panel. That might be the first line of the movie. No, it's not. No, that's not the rules.
You can't do the first line.
I know.
But I was so confident nobody would get it,
and I was going to do the guy that does the two big pussies.
Is it Shane Black that does the jokes about that?
I think it is.
About pussies?
The big pussy jokes about my girlfriend's got a big pussy.
It's like a lot of comics do those jokes.
I considered opening with that, and I said, no way.
I'll just do this thing, and then I'll build to the pussy jokes,
to the big pussy jokes.
Yeah, and then you didn't even get to the big pussy. it killed it. Sorry. I ruined your no, it's fine
It's look it up on YouTube. There's like great pussy jokes and predator. I'm sure they're online, but here's the exciting predator news
Next one written and directed by Shane. I heard that yeah, and I love every movies directed
So I'm very very psyched
I can do an impression of predator having not really ever seen the movies I love every movie he's directed, so I'm very, very psyched. Can I volunteer a predator fact?
She's got a predator fact. I can do an impression of Predator having not really ever seen the movies.
Without having seen them.
Like that of the Predator.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty fucking good.
I think that's pretty good.
That's got to be worth half a point or something.
Did you make that noise at some point and someone said,
that sounds just like the Predator?
No, I heard Predator,
and then years later,
I made the noise and I was like,
I sound like Predator.
It's going in the act.
Is it like,
Predator's the one that has a mouth
that's like a vagina dentata?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep, it's like that.
But that does describe most...
Which means no worries.
That was actually...
Oh, man.
I want to see a cut.
I want to see a cut of the Lion King
where everybody's
vagina dentata.
Just eating everything.
Vagina dentata
ain't no big thing.
There it goes.
Thank you, Jacob Searoff.
Thanks, everybody.
Whoa!
Hey, before you go, Jacob.
What's up?
You got any dates coming up?
Any stand-up dates or anything?
Fuck.
Well, can I plug the thing?
Oh, well, yeah.
You might be participating in the Rock Interruption
on Saturday in San Francisco at the Castro.
Yeah, on Saturday in San Francisco.
Two days we're going to be doing that.
Yeah.
Anything else coming up?
And then I got September 26th and 27th
I'm at the Punchdown in San Francisco
with my friend Kasim Bentley.
We're still doing our racist crowd work team act.
He's black, I'm a Jew, and it's really funny.
Yeah, they just get up there
and they're as racist as possible.
It's a dueling racist crowd work for an hour.
It's great.
I love it.
Thank you, Jacob Zero.
Outside San Francisco.
Thanks, guys.
All right, Dan, you did it.
You won that game,
so that means you get to go first in our next game.
And since Eliza did such a great predator impression...
Oh, is Blanche okay?
Blanche!
Okay, it doesn't sound like it.
She's back there barking.
Why would your dog be barking?
Because they're doing something to her.
What are they doing to your dog back there?
I don't know.
Is there an intruder or something?
What kind of a person am I?
What kind of person does that?
What, my finger was dirty?
You're gross.
Okay, so this next game we're going to play is kind of unusual,
because a lot of times we close with this game,
but I'm putting it up in the middle.
Last Man Stanton, everybody.
Everybody.
Last Man Stanton, everybody.
I'm going to get the name.
I've preselected someone from the audience.
A few people tweeted me today saying they've got a great suggestion for this game.
So I'm going to go to a person in the audience.
They're going to name an actor or actress.
You've done this, Kurt.
We'll see.
Don't look at me like you haven't.
Actor or actress. And I'll play along.
We take turns naming films that person is in.
If you cannot think of one, you're out.
All right.
And I'll try to remember to make that noise.
Shut your mouth about lifelines.
I decide if there's lifelines.
And there are none.
But you did.
Yeah, you're on your own this time.
We'll start with Dan and go to Eliza and then Kurt and then me.
And can't take a one, you're out.
And the person in the audience
that I found on
Twitter is...
I hope I get this right.
I-G-I-Disney?
I-G-1?
T-G-I-Disney?
Oh, T-G-I.
No, that's not it.
Thank God it's Disney.
Thank God it's Disney.
Is that what that stands for?
Yeah, it's a podcast.
My fiance and I do it.
You and your fiance have a podcast
called Thank God It's Disney? Yeah. And what happens on that My fiance and I do it. You and your fiance have a podcast called Thank God It's Disney?
Yeah. And what happens on that podcast?
Can I guess before he says?
Sure.
You like to just create side games
because you're so shitty at the real ones.
Yeah, no shit. I gotta get
my stuff in when I can.
You watch horribly
depressing
films and then you kind of talk about
how you'd make them Disney like if you watched like that movie about the clown
who molest people and also teach computer science like then he would
actually be a really good clown wait what movie is that finding the
freedman's capturing capturing the freedom yeah see this is why I'm terrible at all these movie games.
I did not know there were clowns involved in Capturing the Freedmen's.
Yeah, one of them is he dresses up as a child's clown.
I saw it too.
And I've seen him multiple times at the Magic Castle.
Okay, moving on.
I like the expression child's clown.
Yeah, it's not like a professional clown.
I'm not a child's clown. I work it's not like a professional clown. I'm not a child's clown.
I work exclusively for adults.
I'm a serious clown.
I clown for people over 18.
All right, so TGI Disney is the podcast.
Where can people listen to it?
On iTunes.
It's on iTunes, strangely enough.
Worth all the other podcasts.
So he guessed wrong, obviously.
So what is it actually about?
We watch and review episodes of TGIF sitcoms from the 90s that went to Walt Disney.
What?
Oh my God, I love that.
All right, let me repeat it for the listeners.
They watch and talk about sitcoms, TGI Friday sitcoms.
Those were all produced by Disney? That's why you call it TGI Disney?
Yeah, it was owned by ABC.
ABC owns it.
It's Friday night and the mood is right. Gonna have some
fun, show you how it's done. TGIF.
Nice.
TGIF.
People really grew up on that shit.
So it was like Full House
and it's Dying Days was TGI Friday.
Yeah, the dinosaurs.
Family Matters.
Family Matters.
Oh, the dinosaur.
Not the mama.
Step by step.
Step by step.
What was the one Jay Moore was on with Hilary Swank?
What was that called?
Million Dollar...
Million Dollar Comic Standing.
That was in there on Fridays for a minute.
Okay, well that sounds like a misleading title for your podcast.
It's a weird title.
I really thought you were going to talk about Disney shit.
But I guess that is Disney shit.
Go to a Disney park, yeah.
Okay.
All right, so then you wrote to me on Twitter saying,
I've got a perfect name, or I've got a name for Last Man Stanton.
And then you also added that I'll understand why it's such a great name once you say it or something like that
Oh he's gonna call it Seth Rogen because three years ago we started this game in
the first person whose name we used was Seth Rogen but that of course would
break the I'd rather you give us a name we haven't played before rule. So what
are you going to say instead?
Robin Williams.
Like people made me play him
like a few days after he died, I think.
And like that's a weird thing that happens.
Like every time somebody dies,
shortly thereafter, somebody suggests him for
Last Man's Den. But I'm not against it
if you guys aren't against it. Kurt's already
looking around like
Robin Williams.
It's been a few years. I can't remember what he was in.
Do both of them?
Do both of them.
I had them all set up for Seth Rogen.
You were psyched for Seth Rogen?
Yeah, and then they said Robin Williams and it's gonna...
I'm gonna lose.
I don't wanna lose.
You might not lose. We'll see what happens.
Start with Dan.
Toys.
Start obvious, right?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, yeah.
I think most of what he's in is pretty obvious.
I'm going to go big.
Mrs. Doubtfire, dear.
You would you know it?
Doubtfire.
Mrs. Doubtfire.
All right.
Somebody throw a piece of fruit at Eliza right now. Don't. Doubtfire. All right. Somebody throw a piece
of fruit at Eliza right now.
Don't.
I can't.
Then she can go
It was a drive-by fruiting.
It was a drive-by fruiting.
Oh, I saw him.
Kurt, what do you got?
Any Robin Williams movie?
I mean, I know the movie.
Oh.
Good Will Hunting. Okay. Oh, fuck. the movie. Oh. Good Will Hunting.
Okay.
Oh, fuck.
God, thank God.
Wow, you made it through the first round.
He's been in like 50 famous movies, and you did it.
I mean, I'm proud of myself.
Thank you.
All right.
Well, I'm going to go ahead and knock off.
We've already got a few out there that have been mentioned,
so we might as well bang those out.
Aladdin.
Great.
Patch Adams. Dead Poets Society. out a few out there that have been mentioned so we might as well bang those out aladdin uh uh patch adams dead poet society how great is it it took a long time for it to happen but how great was the dead poet society
parody on snl where they where they're all standing up on the desk and then one of them
gets his head chopped off by the ceiling fan.
Sketch spoiler.
All right, Kurt, Eliza's already stressing about the next one.
I mean, it's that movie where he's a robot
and they just kind of sprayed him like the Tin Man.
And they're just like, well, I'll have the Tin Man
be a robot, but like the name of the movie is escaping me
and the only thing i think is mr tomorrow
that's what they should have called it so i guess that's really you want to just
take it on mr tomorrow look uh
that's amazing i mean it's almost like a skill in and of itself
being so unaware of the films of robin williams it's not that it's unaware it's like imagine a
bottleneck and then once a game is started everything becomes a bottleneck
for me and I'm like like I can't say things that I know like I'll literally
get off the stage and be like as I'm driving home. Oh, as you're driving home.
Because I was going to say
if you want to get off the stage
for a second
like walk into the green room
and then it'll hit you
like oh I should have said
and run back out and say it.
Peter Pan.
No.
Hook.
Hook.
Hook.
You know the movie
based on Peter Pan.
What was it called?
Hook.
Yes.
All right. What was it called? Hook. Yes. All right.
He did it.
All right.
I will say a title that has become extradited
because it's not really a thing anymore.
24-Hour Photo.
Ooh, that was a good one.
He's so creepy.
You're wrong.
He's wrong.
He's got hair.
You're wrong.
It's called One Hour Photo.
One Hour Photo! Oh, my God! Oh, yeah! So he's so creepy with the blonde hair. You're wrong. It's called one hour photo. One hour photo.
Oh my God.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, why would a 24 hour photo?
What the fuck?
I love how none of us caught that but you.
So we're like, yeah, 24 hours.
Well, you know, Dan is really an expert on movies that begin with a number.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah, so.
It's a great movie, actually.
It's a very good movie.
They're alphabetized, strangely,
the number of movies.
Because, like, you're
in the T section.
You're not where 10 is.
You're at the very top
where they start with numbers.
Yeah.
He was thinking of
Bicentennial Man.
Yeah, he was.
Which is what I should have
just fucking said
instead of a 24-hour photo. Also, if they named Bicentennial Man. Yeah, he was. Which is what I should have just fucking said instead of a 24-hour photo.
Also, if they named
Bicentennial Man
Mr. Tomorrow,
I think it would have
done better.
It worked for
Mr. Tomorrowland.
Tomorrowland is a weird movie
because it's all about
George Clooney
wanting to fuck a 13-year-old.
All right, moving on.
That's what that was about?
Yeah.
Have you not seen it?
You can't name Robin Williams movies
But you know the storyline of
Tomorrowland?
Yeah
I'm on planes a lot
Alright
Liza what do you got?
Oh it's his turn
What?
He just said
What'd you say?
He said Bicentennial Man
Oh I thought you were correct
Okay got it
Are you ready for this?
Uh huh With honors No No he's not in there It's not with honors What is it? Bicentennial Man. Oh, I thought you were correct. Okay, got it. Are you ready for this? Uh-huh.
With honors.
No.
No, he's not in there.
It's not called With Honors!
What is it?
That's Joe Pesci.
Fuck you.
What is it?
I think I know what it's called.
What?
Really?
Is it called Good Morning Vietnam?
What's it on?
That's a great movie.
I know Good Morning Vietnam.
With Brendan Fraser and Moira Kelly. I had it locked and ready, and I was going to impress you with this.
And Joe Pesci is the guy.
I think you're thinking of Dead Poets Society and Good Morning Vietnam.
No, I'm not thinking of Dead Poets Society or Good Morning Vietnam.
Those are two vastly different movies.
All right.
Well, it's back to Dan.
I'm not wrong.
I'm going to find a phone.
Shit.
I was going to say, good morning, V&M.
You got another one.
I'm sure I've got another one.
Yeah, it's Robin Williams.
It's Robin Williams.
Oh, Insomnia.
Insomnia, yeah.
There you go.
There's another one where he's a creepy character.
Can I just ask a question?
Played a couple of creaks. Can I just ask a question? He played a couple of creeps.
Can I ask a question about me being out?
Yeah.
With the Madonna song that was like,
in a room.
With honors.
Yeah, totally.
Am I the only person to ever mistake Joe Pesci for Robin Williams?
I think so.
Especially now.
Kurt, you got another one?
Yeah.
I do. It's coming at you.
Oh, Patch Adams.
You already said Patch Adams.
What, Patch Adams?
She said it.
I got this.
Patch Adams 2?
Is that a movie?
I hope it isn't. I don't think it is. If it is, it just went straight to home video. I've guessed multiple times incorrectly.
Yeah, no, you held in pretty good, but I'd like to, yeah, just say one that's real. I'm trying. No guesses. Just think of one that's legitimately in. That's all I got in my life at this point in these games is guesses.
I got educated guesses.
You mentioned a profession earlier.
I'm going to give him clues just because Dan's going to win anyway.
You mentioned a profession earlier that he played in one of his films.
Oh, no, he didn't play that.
He was something else.
But he was in a movie with that.
I have one.
Eliza's got one,
but she's out.
Can I give him a clue?
Yeah, okay.
I'll give you a clue.
All right, use your microphone voice.
The title.
I'll give you a clue.
The title of the movie is also in French.
It's also a play.
Oh,
La Cage aux Folies?
That counts. The Birdcage. The Birdcage. The Birdcage. That's right. also a play. Oh, La Cage aux Folies?
That counts. The Birdcage.
The Birdcage.
This is the worst tribute to a great
artist.
Dan, you got another one?
Jack.
Is that the one where he's like the big kid?
Ages backwards.
It's Benjamin Button. No the big kid? Ages backwards. With J-Lo.
Benjamin Button.
Oh yeah, wait, no.
No, he wasn't aging backwards.
He was just growing up too fast.
But staying childlike.
Which is a description of Robin Williams.
Kurt, you got another one?
Birdcage 2.
Christ.
The prequel.
Before they were in the cage.
This clock over here is freaking me out because it says it's 3.02.
We've been here for 13 hours.
I mean, I just got to guess. Now it says 3.03.
I just got to guess.
There's another big one.
There's another big one.
There's another like.
That's the movie.
Yeah.
There's a few big ones.
He's been in some movies, that guy.
I believe it and I feel bad. First off, i'd like to apologize not only robin williams but all of
robin williams fans all right it's not my fault i'm just very dumb uh god damn i want to even
i want to say a word just give me a year why would that help? Just give me a year Oh is he in
Is he in
Is he in
The Toy?
No
With Richard Pryor
With Richard Pryor
Who's the white guy
Jackie Gleason
Well that
That was my guess
The Toy
Alright
No
That's a weird guess
Look
Of all the movies
Dan do you have one more
To rub it in?
Jumanji.
Of course.
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
But here's the part where you really get humiliated.
Yeah.
Because the audience is going to tell us what titles we missed.
Here we go.
What Dreams May Come.
Night at the Museum.
All of the Night at the Museums.
Flubber.
Death to Smoochie.
Man of the year.
World's greatest dad.
Popeye.
Popeye.
Popeye I should have gotten.
What dreams may come?
AI.
Father's Day?
AI.
God damn it. AI. Bicentennial man and AI. Oh's Day? AI. God damn it!
AI! Bicentennial Man and AI. He wasn't in AI.
He's not in AI.
Awakenings, right?
Awakenings. Citizen Kane.
World According to Garf.
World According to Garf.
I discovered masturbation
to that movie.
That's why you don't remember that one.
That's it though.
Hudson.
Moscow and the Hudson.
The final cut.
The final cut.
Oh yeah, the final cut
is not super great.
Yeah.
Shakes the Clown.
Woo!
Oh yeah.
He plays a mime.
Yeah.
He's a mime, yeah.
He's in a few of the Bobcat Goldthwait joints alright well that was
we did a pretty good job clearing that up
and
Dan is killing it
he's dominating
feeling so good
very happy I came tonight
I'm very glad that you're here.
Good to have you.
I have to feel that that's an indictment of me.
It's good to have somebody who knows what the fuck they're talking about.
One person.
Finally, on this damn show uh this is a game i love playing and it's gonna be it's for all the marbles as they say it's uh jason and deb's imdb game and yeah and i should have
mentioned this before the last game but this is is bad news for Kurt and for Eliza.
Because for winning the last game,
Dan gets one point in this game.
He's already up one point.
This is just, that's like a big commentary
on what's wrong with our society.
The people with advantages already get more advantages.
The people who need more are getting a shit start.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like you're the original Bernie bro.
With honors. Yeah. All right, the original Bernie bro. With honors.
Alright, so
I love that, with honors.
You were so certain. I never believed anything
more in my life
than that was the right answer.
Still do.
Still do.
Here's how this game works.
You know, IMDB.
IMDB, but IMDb,
they like to list four projects
that a person, that they say is most known for
at the top of their IMDb page
for every actor and actress.
And it's a complicated algorithm that they,
it's not just the most popular movies
or the award-nominated ones
or the most searched on IMDb.
It's a combination of all those things
and a few other elements.
And here's another element
that makes this game extra crazy.
Now they're making it on IMDb
so that you can select your own top four
on your page.
I'm sure a lot of big stars are not,
you know, Robert Redford's not sitting around around going what should I put in my top four but I don't know why
you would sound like that so it's a really hard to you know figure out
exactly been implemented yet it's either about to be or it has been but I'm not
I'm not sure got it and the topic is boring to Eliza so just
yawning yeah they didn't need to know at home that I yawn you'd have to throw me under the bus
without honors you see that no honors for you all right so here's how this game works. I'm going to say the first of a person's top four,
and then you can jump in, buzz in with your own name.
Okay.
You say your own name if you think...
Kurt Brown, I wonder.
If you want to guess.
You don't have to say the whole thing, but...
I'll just say, you say your own name.
It's a good bit, guys.
All right.
It's a good bit that nobody liked.
Go fuck yourselves.
You can jump in with your own name.
I state your name.
I state your name.
Yeah, you'll jump in with your name.
And here's the thing, though.
If you try to guess what actor I'm talking about
on the very first movie I say,
it could be any of the other actors in that film.
You're really taking a chance.
And you get penalized for being wrong.
You get negative one point.
But if you jump in at any point,
first movie, second movie, third movie, and you get it right,
then you alone get the chance to get bonus points
for each additional film that you can guess correctly
that's in that person's top four.
And it's not always films.
Sometimes it's TV shows.
And in my case,
I think a film festival might be in my top four.
Question. A comedy festival.
Bridgetown. What? Is this the last game?
Because strategy-wise, sometimes
if I just yell them, if there's no game
after this where I can win.
This is it. I forgive.
You may not be familiar with the expression this is for all the marbles. This is it. I forgive, you may not be familiar
with the expression,
this is for all the marbles.
But that's what I meant.
This is it.
It's like an old
Mexican saying.
But if you buzz in,
if you buzz in,
that's it.
That's your only guess.
You don't get to re-buzz.
No, yeah,
for that particular round.
Right, copy.
You just get to guess.
And it's only actors.
So that's why you should
probably wait for two movies
because if it's two movies,
you can narrow it down.
Did you hear how we said copy?
It's a director thing. It an onset term it's like copy just
letting these guys know i heard that i'm a real director that's what him that's my impression of
him i love when people say on walkie talkies what's your 20 like that's some sort of quick
and easy way to say where are you?
Alright.
It's funny.
So Dan has one point already and we're playing to most points
or
yeah most points after
five rounds
and I've got a tiebreaker just in case we need it.
Okay.
This first
film for this person
is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
It's got a lot of people in it.
So you can buzz in and try to get those three bonus points,
or you can wait for the next title.
All right, the next title.
Yeah, get that mic ready, Dan.
Is Juno.
Michael Cera.
That's his name?
Eliza Michael Cera.
Eliza gets the point.
Because you didn't say your name.
You were busy making jokes about your name.
Buzz in with your own name.
My name.
Yeah, that's all that conversation we had about...
I was making a...
All right, so I didn't understand from the beginning.
And the kicker is I had Michael Cera's face in my mind.
I couldn't remember his name.
And then you said it and I stole it.
I stole your answer.
I feel good about that.
Good, because yeah, I feel good about that too.
Good competitive play.
Michael Phelps would do the same thing to get the gold.
So there's two movies remaining, and Michael Cera's top four.
And so you get to have two guesses, and if you get either of them right, each are worth a point.
What?
Just Eliza.
I'm guessing the movies that he's been in?
Yes.
He's in his top four.
Two more movies.
Dan understands this.
He's directing her.
Do you copy?
I copy.
Name two more Michael Cera movies.
Yep.
Super Bad?
That's a Michael Cera movie
and name another one.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm just looking like I'm thinking I'm not really stop looking at
me hold on stop looking at me playlist I was in Mick and Marty And she just guessed the exact two remaining.
Thank you.
And in the right order, even.
Do I get an extra point?
Wow. Extra point for the order.
You got two, no.
You got two points for that.
Nick and Marty's infinite playlist.
Yeah.
You can see them at the Dresden.
So Eliza has three.
Dan has one.
How does that feel?
Let's not drag Kurt's name into this.
Feels pretty bad, huh?
A little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, get used to it.
But buzz in with your own name.
Got it.
Yeah.
I now completely understand.
I should stop checking out halfway through.
All right.
Have another sip of vodka.
It's already gone be pretty
could somebody make him a new car no thank you okay all right here's the first movie
in somebody's top four 90 b 21 jump street oh is there a theme
okay interesting okay The second movie
The Wolf of Wall Street
Damn
Kurt Brown O'Leary
Kurt Brown O'Leary
You could just say
Kurt Brown O'Leary
Jonah Hill
No
Yes that's right
Okay can I just say
I yelled out Jonah Ray
Who is in none of these movies
But we're at Meltdown
Yeah so it makes sense
Next Next three in the line Next three in the line.
Blanche is barking again.
Next three in the line.
No, we've already said two of them, so there's two remaining.
There's two remaining.
And you get two guesses.
Super bad.
Let's just have Blanche come out here.
Come here, Blanche.
Come here.
Let's go.
I'm right here.
Come on, Blanche.
I'm right here for you.
What's wrong with this fucking dog?
Come on on Blanche
There you go
I think she's gonna scare the shit out of her dog
If she screams like that again
Aww
Hey Blanche
She's fine
Alright she can't help you though
Alright you get
Kirk gets one point for buzzing in first
But now you gotta name two more Jonah Hill movies.
And the one that was already mentioned doesn't count.
The two that were already mentioned
are off the table.
You cannot just repeat them.
You need two more Jonah Hill films.
Oh, you wait.
You said, oh, you said Wolf of Wall Street and...
21 Jump Street.
And 21 Jump Street.
Super Bad.
Okay, and one more.
I already said that one
earlier for the other guy.
Yeah, I remember.
It doesn't mean
he can't have it
in his top four.
And another Jonah Hill movie.
There's so many of them.
War Dogs is coming out soon.
So excited to say another one.
Just, you know,
taking my time
getting there for a second all
right times up okay oh yeah no you can't did I get one extra point for at least Superbad? Superbad is correct. All right. Yes.
And then the other one,
22 Jump Street. Oh.
Oh.
Pretty much handed you that one.
Yeah.
With the original 21 Jump Street.
All right, so this is a very competitive game
we got going here.
Eliza has three, Kurt has two, and Dan has one.
Say your own first name when you think you want to guess.
Are you looking at me again?
I said my full first name.
I'm the only one who thinks who's done it right.
Your first name is Kurt Braunohler?
Kurt Braunohler.
Is your first name.
Yeah, my last name is so complicated, I've taken it out.
It's Kurt Braunohler,
schwiehackenswieten,
satteljahnutfein.
Welcome to Ikea.
Thank you.
All right.
First up for this next actor,
Frida.
Eliza.
Okay, she's jumping in early.'s your guess I'm sure go Salma
Hayek that's correct all right so now you can get three bonus points okay
more Salma Hayek okay I'm vehicles don't know where to be in very many films so
I'm going to go with the only one I can think of right now. Yeah, she's best known for
TV work. Yes, so I'm going to go with
I can't think of that many.
Fools rush in.
Two more. Okay.
Blanche is very disappointed.
Crying is the way you buy time?
Was she like a
like a
like a mistress in a movie or something?
Maybe.
Is she like a
She's an actress.
Fuck off, mom.
That's your last one, dude.
I don't know why you're saying shit.
What about
let's celebrate all of her amazing work
on 30 Rock.
That could possibly be in the top four.
Can I get a hint?
No, that's not how it works.
I don't know.
You're already
desperate for a hint. Desperate. No, that's not how it works. I don't know. You're already, you're waiting, you're waiting to leave here.
You're really desperate for a hint.
Yeah.
Desperate. I heard you and I am processing.
Desperado.
All right, that's another one.
So how many have you guessed so far?
Two.
Fools rush in, Desperado, one more.
Yep.
And she was in the movie about vampires.
Okay, you can't.
I'm thinking out loud.
No, I know.
I can't think out loud.
I get what you're doing, but as soon as you do that,
somebody in the audience decides to answer it for some reason.
Okay, but they haven't.
I won't look.
Looking has nothing to do with what people in the audience might say.
I'm not looking.
And I want to say the vampire
movie is From Dusk Till Dawn.
That is a vampire movie in which
she appears, but Fools Rush In
and From Dusk Till Dawn are not in her
top four on IMDb.
And Desperado is.
So you get one more point for that.
And then she was also listed for
Puss in Boots.
And Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
Oh, that was a good movie
where Johnny Depp's like blind.
Mm-hmm.
Saw that.
Yeah.
Wait, he's not blind?
She definitely added Puss in Boots
to her own thing.
You think so?
Why would you put that one?
Fool's Rush Inn was her...
Well, I mean, Puss in Boots was certainly,
I wouldn't be surprised
if it's one of the top grossing things
she's been in.
Yeah, she keeps calling her agent,
put P&B on IMDB.
I just want to say, I didn't think I knew
any Selma Hayek movies, and the fact that I got
from Dusk Till Dawn, you guys have no idea how much that means to me.
Yeah, and Eliza, you can relax a little bit.
You're way ahead now.
Never relax.
Stay uptight. That's how you stay young.
Stay frosty.
Wait, I want to make sure that you're just not playing
because you feel bad for us.
No, no, no, no.
In fact, I'm deeply regretting giving her a hint
for the one thing.
Shut up, shut up.
I don't know why I...
Yeah, I didn't know why that happened either.
They don't have to know.
All right.
You know, when somebody's got a dog in their lap,
they're very sympathetic.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh.
Blanche is just like, give her another hint. I want it to be over.
I want to go home.
All right, here we go.
Next round.
First movie is called Your Highness.
Not a bad time to jump in early To try to catch up to Eliza
Dan would be your name
Dan, James Franco
Oh
It sucks, it hurts
Sorry, it's not James Franco
Does that mean Dan's out?
For this round, yes
Probably for the best
Better for him to give you clues from an out position Never happened Does that mean Dan's out? For this round, yes. Okay, that's probably for the best.
It's better for him to give you clues from an out position.
Never happened.
The second film is Pineapple Express.
Kurt, who is it?
Danny.
Now, I know I told you I just want first names when you buzz in,
but now I'm going to need a last name.
Danny McBriar. Oh, no!
So close.
Danny McBren.
Danny McBride. McBride is right, yes, McBride
McBride is right
Yes McBride
My brain works on sounds
And not on images
It's the easiest last name
Alright
Can you name two more
Danny McBride movies?
So far we got
Your Highness
Or My Highness
And Pineapple Express Next one up for Classic Danny McBride movies? So, so far we got Your Highness, or My Highness, and Pineapple Express.
Next one up
for a classic
Danny McBride film,
of course,
would be
the movie where
at the end
the big barn explodes
and everything.
Everybody's in it.
The big barn?
Ooh.
No, that's probably
Pineapple Express,
isn't it?
Oh, well, his first movie, Kung Fu...
No.
No?
His first movie's about a Kung...
Is it Kung Fu Danny?
No.
No.
Oh, he's also in is he also nope is he's not 21 Jump Street either I just
seen so many of his movies I love him so much Oh East Side and Down right it's You're like my dad who calls like blockbuster blockbusters
and best buys
and like
Is it called
the East Side of Down?
Do you have one more?
Do you have one more guest
besides East Bound and Down?
Yeah.
Which is a TV show?
Because that's one guest.
Okay, East Bound and Down.
We are?
And Principles.
Oh, I should have gotten that first.
It's Vice Principles.
Wait, can I give him a hint?
Because Dan gave me a hint. Can I give him a hint? No, I'm rolling gotten that first. Vice principals. Wait, can I give him a hint? Can I give him a hint?
No, I'm rolling this thing along.
We've got a game to finish here.
And it doesn't matter.
Eastbound and Down is in the top four.
But I want to guess based on just this.
She's just doing this.
I'm going to say Magic Mike.
She's just doing this.
I'm going to say magic, Mike.
So you get a point for Eastbound and Down.
And then he was also, the fourth title in his top four is This is the End.
Yes, very fun, famous apocalypse movie.
All right, so Liza has six.
And Foot Fist Way was what you were. I was doing was tropic yeah and uh kurt has five points so he's just one point behind a line
this is amazing this is the most amazing numbers considering what everyone actually knows up here. It's not reflecting the actual knowledge.
So, Dan,
this is the last one, so if you
want a chance at tying it up...
I have to guess on the first name. You have to,
and then you still won't win.
But it's worth a shot.
Just for...
whatever. Yeah.
I understand. Is Blanche ready?
She's always ready or sleeping
fight Club Dan I'll give you a quick clue it's not me love oh man hmm but
it's interesting because the theme is there are these comedians of
our time yes I'm a hikes one of the funniest I just feel like it's not that
the two leads I'm gonna go with mistake for not doing that.
Helena Bonham Carter.
Incorrect.
Thank you.
Try to go big.
Thank you for swinging.
Ed Norton.
Eliza. God damn it.
Kurt, I've seen you on At Midnight.
I think we've even been on it together.
You don't yell out an answer and then hit your buzzer.
I can't explain it. All right, Eliza.
But I didn't want to go.
I just didn't want him to go.
But now I have to go.
I'll go with Ed Norton.
Ed Norton is correct.
And it doesn't matter what other movies he was in,
because at seven points, Eliza is unreachable.
So she is the winner of the game and of the entire show tonight.
Tonight,
the remaining three titles in his top four are American History X.
That was my first guess.
Which I didn't see American History I through IX,
but I heard this one was really good.
And, uh.
You mean you haven't seen American History I
through IVVV, oh fuck me.
VIIIII. VV-V-V. Oh, fuck me. V-I-I-I-I.
V-V-V-V.
I-X.
Oh, X-I.
I-X.
Stop dyslexic too.
Fuck me.
I'm going to kill myself.
The Illusionists.
And the Incredible Hulk.
Oh, he was that.
Classic Norton.
I would imagine
Edward Norton
did not pick his top four.
He probably would have
put that movie
about cholera in there.
So, yeah,
so that means
Eliza's a winner
and who were you
playing for, Eliza?
I was playing for Jen.
Jen, right here
from St. Louis.
She gets to bring
all this stuff
back home with her.
And do you want your name tag back too, Jen?
Yeah, take your thing.
Sure.
There you go.
Thank you.
And is there no shithead on the back of the first? No, there isn't.
Yeah, okay.
We got to work that out.
But wait, wait.
I can imagine,
because there is a name back here.
No, don't imagine anything.
I don't know what this new trend is
of going to trouble
and making a name tag
and then not writing a shit
on the back.
Where is this person?
Where are you at?
Do you want to come up here
and write something down
or do you want to yell it out
or whatever is going to be quickest?
Drunk supporters.
Okay.
Fair enough.
Dan Trachtenberg
everybody
nothing you could
tell us about
other than
watch your episode
of Black Mirror
October 21st
they all come out
the next season
the whole season
and which one is yours
in the series
the last one
the final episode they like get to london and direct our final episode of the season
is it can you say if there's gonna be more yeah this is the first there's there's two batches of
six so this is yeah they'll be all right they're doing like walking dead style or whatever trickle
them out or whatever yeah okay fair enough thank you so much for being here, man. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, awesome.
Cool.
A lot of fun.
Eliza Schlesinger,
what do you got coming up?
You guys can check out
my digital series.
It's called Forever 31
and it's on ABC's app.
Go to the app
and you can watch my show.
You got to go to the app on the Apple Store.
ABC app, Forever 31.
Just Google it.
And we already got a second season,
so don't be behind.
And then you can check out my new Netflix special September 23rd on Netflix.
What's that one called?
It's called Confirm Kills.
And I did it.
Kurt Braunohler.
I am recording my hour special for Comedy Central
on September 24th at Revolution Hall in Portland.
Great venue.
How and where can people go to get tickets to that?
The internet.
I love it.
And like I said, I'm going to be at the Castro Theater in San Francisco this Saturday.
So see you soon, San Francisco.
And one more time for all of my guests, Kurt Braunohler, Eliza Schlesinger, and Dan Trachtenberg.
And as always, Trump supporters are a shithead.
But hang on, it gets more political.
People who eat too loud are shitheads.
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Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies!