Doug Loves Movies - Dana Gould, Geoff Tate, Josh Sneed and Angelo Pizzo guest

Episode Date: June 6, 2015

Live from Limestone Festival in Bloomington, IN, Doug welcomes Dana Gould, Geoff Tate, Josh Sneed and Angelo Pizzo to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace, our good buddies at Squarespace. Start building your website today at squarespace.com and enter the offer code Doug at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Enjoy the show! Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds. With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
Starting point is 00:00:41 My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug, and I love movies. We love movies. Coming to you one more time. Actually, for the first time from this particular venue, the Buskirk Chumlee Theater, upgrade. We are at the Limestone Comedy Festival in Bloomington, Indiana. Boycott, Indiana! Boycott Indiana! Wait. Oh, I messed
Starting point is 00:01:10 that up. That means don't come here. Anyway, fuck that one guy. That one guy did that thing. I don't blame the whole state. Yeah. I don't want to leave everybody here in suspense about whether or not I think one guy was responsible
Starting point is 00:01:30 for that shitty maneuver that made people create a hashtag it's Friday June 5th 2015 4 o'clock because scheduling here at the Limestone Festival in this particular venue is such that we need to get out of here at the Limestone Festival in this particular venue is such that we need to get out of here at a certain time and so
Starting point is 00:01:50 we couldn't have my usual fun start time of 420. But we'll all be here together at 420. Vape them if you got them. Tonight I'm going to get limestone
Starting point is 00:02:05 and do two stand-up shows in this very theater with some great local acts and the headliner, Kyle Kinane. Do you guys like Kyle Kinane? That son of a bitch. On At Midnight right now, Ron Funches has the most wins
Starting point is 00:02:24 with like 10. And then Kinane is next with like 7. And then I just caught up. I'm at 7. And then I think maybe Nikki Glaser might have 7 or 6 or something
Starting point is 00:02:40 like that. But it's pretty tight up there except for Ron Funches is just, you can't beat the fucking adorableness of Ron Funches. Don't even try. But Kyle also is just very, he's really good at it, and here's the thing, they each have more wins than me, and each of them have a win that they won against me. Like, I put them on the board further with my own participation against them. So nobody cares, Doug. Uh, but so tonight I'm going to do a few minutes before Kyle comes out and does his headliner set and it's going to be super fun. And the people listening to this podcast are going to
Starting point is 00:03:17 hear about it too late. Uh, tomorrow though, that people might hear this in time, this very theater will also be the home for a blasphemous, the most blasphemous Benson movie interruption of all time. You know, because we are in the great state of Indiana, and we're going to interrupt Hoosiers. Yeah. I think that's a bad call I think that we should have just skipped right to the sequel
Starting point is 00:03:48 we should have interrupted Who's Your Mama because that was a dumb movie no but Hoosiers is a great great film of course and last two years ago kicking off the Limestone Festival we did Breaking Away and it's a great movie
Starting point is 00:04:04 and the last shot of the movie is right outside this door kicking off the limestone festival we did breaking away and we and it's a great movie and it's the last shot of the movie is right outside this door and it says in big letters filmed in the city of bloomington it's amazing it was an amazing event so i was like okay fuck it let's do another famous uh indiana movie and so since no other movies take place exactly in Bloomington, we went with Hoosiers. And we've got a very special guest involved with Hoosiers as well. So that's pretty sweet. More than involved, I'd say. That's understating it.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Let's see. New York City. Douglas Movies is coming to Irving Plaza this Tuesday, June 9th, and that's the day my new album, Promotional Tool, will be on iTunes for a mere $4.99, because it's not so much a comedy album as it's a promotional tool. You'll buy it and learn about all my other projects. We got four great guests. That's hilarious. I ran all the names by the guy in charge this very afternoon.
Starting point is 00:05:23 And we've only got enough mics and stools for three guests so pick somebody to send home i even asked they sent me a picture of the stage setup and i looked at it and i was like that looks perfect that is absolutely on the money see you after i get high and uh now i'm here and wondering if uh if people are scrambling around trying to make a a fifth mic happen or if uh we'll bring maybe at least bring out one more stool and two guys could share a mic what What are you guys thinking back there? Why is no one responding to me?
Starting point is 00:06:08 Somebody stick your goddamn head out. Thank you. All right. So the fourth guest is going to bring out their own microphone and their own stool. And if I had just introduced everybody, maybe that would have happened anyway. I don't know. I don't know if they knew about it already. I'm so glad we have enough room for all of these people.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Because it's a sweet, sweet lineup. We've got three old bees and one new bee. And this one new bee is a terrific get, especially for this particular area and what's going on here this weekend. Please give a big, warm
Starting point is 00:06:43 welcome to Dana Gould, Josh Sneed, Angelo Pizzo, and Jeff Tate. I like it. This chair weighs 10,000 of your earth pounds, yet you hold it with ease. All right, so Dana wins the Pete Holmes Award, and Jeff wins the Teamsters Award for bringing in his own stuff. And Jeff Tate, everybody. Hello. Is this on?
Starting point is 00:07:33 It is. And it's wireless. I mean, I made a real point of saying I like wired mics because the wireless ones cut out and stuff. And that's not good for a podcast. I feel like we'll take what we can get at this point. Considering I let it get all the way up until when I'm on stage to realize we were short a microphone. Jeff, you're in town for the festival. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Doing some sets. Sure. And you feel more like a sidekick today than a guest with your low-to-the-ground chair. Finally. That's what I've been going for these last two years. Does anybody on the panel have a bad back? Because I feel bad about making people sit on backless stools.
Starting point is 00:08:14 I have a bad back. Okay, so that worked out perfect that you carried out your own chair. Yeah. But now you get to sit in it. Yep. My back is great, but my front is a train wreck. Dana Gould, ladies and gentlemen. Also here to stand up and comedy here at the festival.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I have two shows tonight somewhere. Quite possibly here. I don't know. No, not here I'm in here unless there was another mix up and there'll be a couple comedians performing simultaneously yeah we're doing a duel
Starting point is 00:08:55 it's like duets man what if your show tonight has too many microphones I just thought of a great show like duets, you know, like it's karaoke with music or whatever. Why not just have two people come out and take turns
Starting point is 00:09:11 saying Mitch Hedberg jokes until everybody leaves? The Sklar cousins. Because if anybody said them... There should be two comedians walk on stage and the first one to listen to the other one wins Alright, what were you saying, Dana?
Starting point is 00:09:38 Boom! We got a prize bag full of stuff Amazing prize bag What did you bring for the bag, Dana Gould? My first two CDs are now on vinyl, and they are in that bag. Funhaus, then let me put my thoughts in you. Oh, yeah. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Vinyl. Because I know where the money is. Yeah. The money's in having plenty of these to give away. That's right. Funhaus is coming out on Edison Cylinder next month as well. I'm very excited. Well, that's a very nice contribution to the bag.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Thank you very much. That's what she said. It wouldn't be a contribution to the bag. It would be an extraction from the... Josh Sneed is here, everybody. Hello. Hello. bag would be an extraction from the... Josh Sneed is here, everybody.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Hello. By that applause, it sounds like I'm going to be the first to go. I think nobody leaves. Are you... Are you performing on this stage tonight as well? I'm on this stage...
Starting point is 00:10:39 I'm on this stage tomorrow night with Michael Shea and I'm with Dana tonight. Where are we? Yeah, where are you guys? Jay, Jay Wack. Is that what it's called? Yes. That's made up.
Starting point is 00:10:52 That's not even real. That sounds like a house show. You're going to Jay's house. We're going to go jabber. My draw is primarily open micers that want to meet me before I die, so it very well could be a house show. That's how they got half of us
Starting point is 00:11:14 to agree to the festival, Dana. Is it true you never broke? It's the Meet Dana Gold Festival. Come on, kids. He'll teach you stuff. How have you been in the business so long and never break? I don't know. You're silly.
Starting point is 00:11:30 How many Emmys do you have? Anybody who thinks that Emmys are important should remember that I have two. I'm glad you have more than one, because how many Emmys do you have? The answer one is like, that's like neither one of us were on the same page. Well, I should have three, but Andy Dick took one. Oh, it still counts that you won it, though, just because he took it away from you. It's a dick move. That's why I got that smattering.
Starting point is 00:12:00 He stole your Emmy? It's a long story, but a boring one. Yeah, basically. My question was yes or no. I bet he stole his Emmy the polite way of saying it snapped off in his butt. Andy would laugh at that.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Snapped implies it was accidental. I'm going to break this off in my ass. I just realized Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick have the same voice. So, Josh brought for the prize bag. Nope. Those are for me. Those are for me. Those are Jeff's. Even better, Josh brought...
Starting point is 00:12:50 I brought stuff from when I worked at Blockbuster. What is this? That's an original Space Jam poster. Yeah. And it's original packaging. And dented. I saw somebody on the internet the other day so angry about that there's so much love for Space Jam.
Starting point is 00:13:07 And I feel like for some people, it's their, for me, it's Hook. I can't get over that people love Hook so much. And I never knew, I never loved Space Jam or knew anybody who did, so I don't, I'm not concerned with the people who do, because it's like, you know. Well, that's why the poster
Starting point is 00:13:22 was never opened. Okay, and then you also brought... I also brought from my Blockbuster days a... Well, this is actually from my college movie review days. This is a press kit for the Odd Couple Part 2. Complete with the photos.
Starting point is 00:13:41 How many stars did you give Odd Couple 2? I think that's the first time that folder's ever been opened. Felix! Great, that's great. What else? A Pocahontas viewfinder. Which was another blockbuster giveaway. Sounds like a sex move. The colors of the wind. Yeah yeah you know what i'm saying
Starting point is 00:14:07 that's what you see when you pull the emmy out of andy dick's ass and then there's also my two cds oh there's so much stuff oh and it's 419 you guys there's so much stuff. Oh, and it's 419, you guys. I'm not going to do anything about it. Just wanted everybody to know. Wanted you to know the sacrifice I'm making today. Somebody put in my hotel room recently a bunch of gum, XL gum. I'm like, okay, I'll put that in the prize bag. I'll fly back to the states with that I'll take a chance I got Willie Nelson's Peternalis cut and putt hat
Starting point is 00:14:52 and a Willie Nelson cut and putt is a sex move that's the putt and cut. Did I pronounce it right the first time when I introduced you? Pizza. Ladies and gentlemen, Angelo Pizza is here.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Thank you. And, you know, first time guest on the show and still managed to knock it out of the park with the gift bag because he brought a James Buster Douglas bobble head. There's a story
Starting point is 00:15:34 behind why he has that but I don't want to even we don't even need to get into it. It's still a great item. And then you're wearing a shirt and brought a shirt because not only has Angelo written Hoosiers which we'll be trying to make fun of tomorrow, he also wrote everybody's favorite sports movie, if it's not Hoosiers, and it's called Rudy.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yeah. Yeah. And now has written and directed a sports film that's coming out on October 9th, 2,000 screens, and it's called... Mile American. Yeah, right there on the shirt. It's going in the prize bag. So this is another football story. Yes, although there isn't any sports in the last 30 minutes of the movie, so...
Starting point is 00:16:21 Whoa, that's an interesting spoiler. We actually... Hey, come see Rocky VII. There's no fighting in the last 30 minutes of the movie. Whoa, that's an interesting spoiler. We actually... Hey, come see Rocky VII. There's no fighting in the last 30 minutes. That was what they tried with The Phantom Menace. People want to hear about trade negotiations. Now, is it Rudy or radio? Who learns from Cuba Gooding Jr.'s innocence?
Starting point is 00:16:46 Radio. Radio, okay. Because that was the great tagline of that movie. Radio didn't learn from the people. The people learned from radio. My dad learns a lot of stuff from the radio. Thanks, Obama. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:04 This really is a Pocahontas viewfinder. Yeah, I wasn't messing around. We've got to name your actual albums here, Josh, to give them plugs. Unsung Hero and Unacceptable. Josh Sneed. And, yeah. And so Aaron Eckhart's in the film. And does he play someone involved in football in some way?
Starting point is 00:17:24 Yes, he is involved. He is the coach. Coach. A famous coach, Coach Daryl Royal. This movie takes place at the Emory City, Texas in the late 60s. I'm in. I don't know what it is. I'm not that into sports, but I'll watch any sports movie, even ones with Kevin Costner in it.
Starting point is 00:17:43 And he is just beating that horse isn't he it's just like let's just keep going back to the sports well but this next one let's have no sports in it just talking about sports draft day all right so uh since jeff is in the fancy comfortable chair on the end there what did you bring for the prize bag? Not that those two things are connected in any way. I brought Bruce Campbell's book. Woo! If Chins Could Kill.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Yep. I brought Fletch. Feels vaguely racist to me, that title. Yeah, yeah. That was the tagline. You can't get away with If Epsteins Could Kill. Yeah. That was the that was the tagline you can't get away with if epstein's could kill yeah that was the original subtitle of the communist red book that it's the book the remake of red dawn was based on fletch you love fletch i do love fletch who's the new fletch jane lynch who jane lynch aren't they making didn't they turn fletch into isn't she gonna be a lady Who's the new Fletch? Jane Lynch? Who? Jane Lynch?
Starting point is 00:18:48 Didn't they turn Fletch into, isn't she going to be a lady? Like maybe Melissa McCarthy? Did I dream that? I think, I don't know. Or was I watching Spy? Was it just because she dresses up in Spy? Like Fletch does sometimes? If you made like a Venn diagram that came together for me with the worst Julia Roberts movie and the worst Mel Gibson movie
Starting point is 00:19:09 they're both in it and you brought it and it's called Conspiracy Theory I watched it a couple days ago and decided I should probably give this away yeah if I keep it I might accidentally watch it again it a couple days ago and decided I should probably give this away. Yeah. If I keep it, I might accidentally watch it again. And Tom Hardy will be in the remake with Melissa McCarthy, obviously.
Starting point is 00:19:34 And that one will be real good, though. It's a shadow conspiracy. Alright, you guys. Let's talk about movies for a second. And let's talk sports films. Angelo's, your whole career is sports films. What's a sports film you admire that you didn't have anything to do with the making of it? Like, what's your favorite one?
Starting point is 00:20:00 Probably Raging Bull. Right. Amazing movie. Moving on. probably Raging Bull right amazing movie moving on you say Raging Bull and Space Jam is literally on the table was Bugs Bunny
Starting point is 00:20:21 in Raging Bull no I don't think so was Raging Bull? No, I don't think so. Was Raging Bull just an overlong McDonald's commercial? No. Space Jam. You know that Bugs, though, was this close to getting the Pesci role. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Can you imagine? Bugs Bunny and Pesci don't sound that different, really. Nope. Hey, you motherfucker! I'm gonna break a carrot off in your ass! And towards the end of any boxing career, they start to sound like Elmer Fudd. So that seems to work perfectly.
Starting point is 00:21:04 What about you, Josh? Do you have a favorite sports film other than the ones that are on the table? Probably Bull Durham. All right, yeah. If it's got bull in it, it's a great sports film. I would also put Jerry Maguire up there if that one counts. It doesn't. You lost me to Jerry Maguire.
Starting point is 00:21:27 That's good. That's so good. Human head weighs 10 pounds. I only have two Emmys left. Who will get it? I probably brought this up before, Dana, but you played Squeegee Man in Mystery Men? I don't want to brag.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Doug, I'm just like you. I'm just a regular man who puts on his pants one leg at a time. Oh, Squeegee Man. Do you have a favorite sports film, Dana? Yes, one of my favorite films of all time. One of the funniest movies ever made, Slapshot. And, of course, written by a woman, which not a lot of people know. Written by a woman, one of the foulest comedies.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Such a great movie. What was her name? It escapes me at this time. Nancy Dow, yes. Really. If you haven't seen Slapshot, it's phenomenal. And it is one of those movies that you remember as being great, and then you go back to watch it, and it's still great. How many times are you like, oh my God, you have to see Blazing Saddles.
Starting point is 00:22:38 And then there's a joke, and you go out and you make a sandwich. You start a tray of lasagna, you finish a jigsaw puzzle. You come back in. There's another joke. You go back out. You call some friends from high school you haven't talked to in a while. Yeah. How dare you? That was going to be my favorite sports movie. Please. It is
Starting point is 00:22:56 competitive campfiring. Jeff, what do you got? What's yours? I was hoping you guys were going to keep doing that riff. So you can think more about sports movies? I'll say mine. I'll say mine. Okay, you say yours. Because Dana just made me realize that mine is also a hockey film called Goon.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Really good. Have you seen that? I wanted you to say Miracle. Was that the prequel to The Goonies when he didn't know anybody? Yeah, he was alone. It was after they finally moved. And he's new in that town and he's just one goon. Hey, guys, I'm from Oregon.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Boo. Then they take his inhaler and throw it as far as they can. Yeah. I think my favorite sports movie is Major League. There you go. I wish we hadn't have gone back to you. Or maybe Rookie of the Year. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Angels in the Outfield. I also want to say Caddyshack. Air Buds. Oh, Caddyshack. Oh shits. Oh, Caddyshack. Oh shit, we just came up with it. Also written by a woman. I don't know, I don't know. Written by a dead guy.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Yeah, written by a dead guy. That's right. Even dead people can write movies, folks. I'm not equating women with dead guys. Dana Gould just equated women with dead men. But what I said was... Right? Does anyone here work for Jezebel.com?
Starting point is 00:24:31 Does anybody here have a blog? They can write about Dana. He's a good tipper, but also... My name is Caitlyn! And he's down to one Emmy. We're all Caitlyn now. Sure, sweet Caitlyn. While you guys were talking, I was sitting over here remembering the Titans.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Good one. That's everybody, right? That's it. Thanks for having us. Can we give just a nod To the lunacy of any given Sunday You're going to fight for that inch The Pantheon Cup
Starting point is 00:25:15 There's nothing funnier to me Than when there's a football movie And they have to make up football teams The LA Stallions Is from Last Boy Scout My favorite Last Boy Scout, my favorite sports movie. Last Boy Scout, that's my favorite sports movie. Contrary to popular belief that doctors in the NFL don't literally
Starting point is 00:25:32 pull on pencil-thin mustaches and go moo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha. Any given Sunday, though, that's a true story. Well, based on real events. It was based on, like, the guy saw a football game and was like, I'm going to write a movie. Yeah, and it was really interesting that he just happened to think of it
Starting point is 00:25:56 at the right time of year, because any given Sunday, there's not a football game. There's more Sundays that don't have a football game than do. Yeah, yeah, it should be called occasionally. It could have been about old people antiquing. Sometimes on Sunday. He's doing another movie called
Starting point is 00:26:11 Any Third Sunday, which is about the Pasadena flea market. How much? How much for this ashtray? Life is a game of inches. I will give you three inches for that ashtray. That's the pitch.
Starting point is 00:26:27 He wants to buy a headboard. The guy won't sell it to him. That's conflict. I have one Any Given Sunday reference here. Please do. It's not funny, but it's... None of ours were. Why start now?
Starting point is 00:26:41 Well, you're right in the pack then. I hired a cinematographer out of New York and before he came to Texas where we shot the movie, he said, do you have any movies that you would like me
Starting point is 00:26:52 to take a look at to give me a guide as to what we're looking at in terms of how to shoot the football stylistically and so on and so forth. I said, yeah, take a look at Any Given Sunday
Starting point is 00:27:02 and do everything opposite. Wow. It is true. That a look at Any Given Sunday and do everything opposite. Wow. It is true. That's not an Any Given Sunday reference. That's like a legit anecdote. Right. The four of us are just shitting on that movie. And you're like, I met the guy who fucked it up.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I don't think the cinematographer fucked it up. No, no. He also did a lot of rewrites. He also did a lot of rewrites he also did a lot of rewrites the cinematographer it was probably Robert Richardson the truth is we had the star of our movie was in that movie and that was Aaron Eckhart
Starting point is 00:27:37 and he told us a lot of stories about that movie and it was Oliver at his worst in terms of his worst drug use during making that movie. Well, there was a... And if you watch the movie from that point of view, from a cocaine point of view, you get it. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:27:51 It makes total sense. It's funny because Oliver Stone also... That works for most movies. Yeah, that does. Oliver Stone also made World Trade Center, which is interesting because my review of Any Given Sunday was that it was worse than a million 9-11s. But at least he didn't call that Any Given Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:28:24 For the listeners, there was an extra burst of applause because of the tip of a hat. Such a simple gesture. I wasn't looking. I was like, what did he do? Oh, he took his hat off. What a delight. How are we doing on time, you guys? We've got a lot to do. I always like to ask everybody the last movie they saw and their thoughts on it.
Starting point is 00:28:49 We'll start down there with Jeff. San Andreas. Oh, boy. It's fucking amazing. Dana Gould should give one of his Emmys to The Rock. Just out of joy. It's so fucking awesome I love it
Starting point is 00:29:07 really? yeah does The Rock ever like just physically stop the earthquake? he punches the shit out of it spoiler alert there's a showdown at the end and he just punches the earth
Starting point is 00:29:19 and it settles down yeah it just chills out yeah he yells at the tsunami. It backs off. He calls it a jabroni, and it just kicks off. Well, San Andreas learned his lesson.
Starting point is 00:29:36 You might be made of rocks. I was upset you didn't use my movie reviews in eight words or less for that one. You reviewed San Andreas? Yeah, I said, please tell me whose fault this is. Nice. I'm growing on them. I mean, that's clever, but
Starting point is 00:29:57 the movie is great. So I don't know why you would try to place blame. We should be laying gratitude at their feet for making such a spectacular fucking movie. Now, I heard that the buildings that don't get destroyed by the earthquake Rent goes up.
Starting point is 00:30:14 are ruined because Paul Giamatti eats all the scenery. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He really falls into the Richard Dreyfuss character of the... You gotta listen to me! My jacket doesn't fit, but I know a lot of stuff. I like how they showed Oakland and you couldn't tell if it was before or after the earthquake.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Dana, do a classic Hooper line from Jaws, but talk about earthquakes instead of sharks. Oh boys, it's back for a second rumbling. He did not hesitate before doing that. Give it more. And I'm wearing my Ben Gardner Fishing Charters t-shirt. That's awesome. Another thing I didn't notice. If I ever have a band, it will be called Alex Kintner's Raft.
Starting point is 00:31:12 There's a scene in San Andreas where The Rock actually has to go find a bigger boat. So it really works. The sequel is called San Diego where The Rock has six hours to walk through Comic Con without meeting an agent or marketing exec I don't know what that means Nobody goes to Comic Con that used to go to Comic Con now It's all business People who used to make fun of you for going to Comic Con Yeah, that reminds me, my new movie Chronicon
Starting point is 00:31:42 is probably going to be out on July 3rd. And it's where I go to Comic-Con. I'm more of the problem than the solution. Because I'm just high looking at everybody. I'm not really there for comic books, which is what it should be about. Well, that's good because there are none there anymore. They've actually moved the comic books. They've got like a corner outside the building.
Starting point is 00:32:03 No, they're in another building on another part of town it's really it's shameless and awful and the way of the world but the cast of shameless is going to be exactly exactly it's people that's like where are you going to comic con well i'm going for the pretty little liars table what it's a nice table you can buy i go to that yeah i check that let me ask let me ashley benson's on that what if it's just nice table. You can buy it. I'd go to that. Yeah, I'd check that out. Let me ask, let me ask. Ashley Benson's on that show, right? What if it's just a bunch of dorks dressed up like agents and executives? Oh, that'd be good.
Starting point is 00:32:30 What if it's just like cosplay, like studio cosplay, where they're not really agents or executives. They're just nerds who are like, I'm going to be a suit this year. What was the last movie you saw, Dana? Did I skip you? Well, no, I'm next.
Starting point is 00:32:44 So I saw, the last movie you saw, Dana? Did I skip you? Well, no, I'm next. The last movie I saw was San Andreas. I saw it with my 12-year-old daughter. I said, Dad, I want to go see San Andreas. And I said, you know, it's not going to be like that. And she said, I know, but I'm interested in the devastation. And I thought, my work here is done. It's great. The best thing about San Andreas is that
Starting point is 00:33:05 from this movie, there are only 300 people in California, which is terrific. At the end. Well, at the beginning, he's flying, he's flying his helicopter, and his ex-wife says, I'll be on the roof of the building, and
Starting point is 00:33:21 she's the only person you can see just off in the distance on the roof of a building so what about other people i don't know everyone else is dead yeah did you see it too josh oh my god i did but i also saw pitch perfect too did you get pitch slapped i did you like it? I was pitch slapping a bitch. I don't know how they talk, but it was fun. I liked it. I like it, too.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I just don't understand why there's commentators during an acapella competition. Like, why there's two people talking through the entire thing. It's not even during just the competition this time. They're doing their live remote podcast everywhere this group happens to be. Yeah, but everybody just wants to hear them talking over the performance. That's what I want to know. It's unprecedented in performance competition. Everybody's got a podcast.
Starting point is 00:34:12 The whole point of the movie was to make it more like the Padre scene from Phantom Menace. That's two of your three Phantom Menace references. The seal has been broken. Don't waste your third one. Oh, I won't. I have it locked and loaded. Angelo, have you seen something lately? You know, we were talking, Dane and I, earlier, that my movie-going habit is really decreased by the quality of series television.
Starting point is 00:34:40 The best writers are working on television now. It's all so good. There's so much good TV. I watched the... Because I missed a lot making this movie last year, so I ended up watching the last six episodes of Boardwalk Empire, and that was about as good a writing as there is. Yeah, it's a bunch of movie people slumming it on HBO.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Boardwalk Empire is like the show Mob City if anyone at all watched it. And really got into it. Miami? Did it take place in Miami? No, Mob City took place in Los Angeles in the 1940s. Nobody watched it. I like how he didn't use the microphone for that.
Starting point is 00:35:20 So you're just answering out of nowhere for the podcast listeners. That's okay. It was written and directed by frank darabont you see how the comedians all have the microphone right at their mouths so they can dive in with something to say you always by the time you get it up to your mouth somebody else is already talking i keep watching that happen and it's like all these great anecdotes are just going uh away because these guys won't shut the fuck up i know he's talking about the cinematography for rudy i'm like well i made a vine once and uh and that's the story of how i fucked charlie's throne i also had to put my jersey on my coach's desk but i was uh asked to it's a little different
Starting point is 00:36:03 than your film, but it's like when I saw it in the movie, I was like, I've been there. You're the second guy in the office, and he's like, all right, see ya. Yeah, yeah. Did you see, was there a lot of, was Johnny Favreau, Johnny Favs,
Starting point is 00:36:21 was he, when he was in Rudy, did he seem like a future filmmaker? Was he already interested in all that stuff? Well, he actually had never done anything before, and we founded him at Second City. So he was more of a stage improv guy. He was simply a guy that we hired him as an actor. Now, John was on the set all the time tailing David Anspaugh, the director, trying to learn as much as he could. But we kind of thought he was a pest more than anything. We didn't really take him very seriously.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Yeah, but you needed his food truck now, wouldn't you? Yeah, he really was. He was a different guy back then. But honestly, to give him credit, a lot of the lines that that character had were improvised by John. So we let him go a number of times. I'm going to go back and watch that again because I barely remember that it was him because I didn't know him at the time. I believe that because I've met the real guy and he's nowhere near that clever.
Starting point is 00:37:14 D-Bob? You've met D-Bob? I met D-Bob and Rudy. That's strange. See, I've got stories too. Don't. I saw a movie called Some Girls on Netflix because I'm on this challenge where I'm trying to watch 365 movies in one year.
Starting point is 00:37:35 And I sat there and watched the whole thing. It was a Neil LaButte screenplay. He didn't direct it, but it was like watching a film to play. A film Neil La Butte play. Who's in? Oh, nobody? Interesting.
Starting point is 00:37:49 All right. Who's in Some Girls? It stars Adam Brody from The O.C. and whatnot. As a guy who goes around and just talks to all his ex-girlfriends in various hotel rooms. He gets them all to meet him in a hotel room to tell them that he's getting married. And he just wants to make sure that everything's cool with every girl he ever dated. So it's like, there's like seven scenes and each one is just him and some girl and they have a different kind of relationship each time. And what if, so the pitch was, what if we did a Jim Jarmusch's
Starting point is 00:38:17 broken flowers, but did it without Bill Murray. So no one had a reason to see it. It's kind of what it was, yeah. I'm sure Neil LaButte never saw Broken Flowers. He's too busy writing crap. I mean stuff. So, I like some of his stuff. Let's do the game portion of the show. What do you say?
Starting point is 00:38:38 Let the games begin! Lots of folks here in the audience brought decorative name tags that they can hold up now. Maybe we could get some house lights up so that we get a better idea of what's out there. And also, thank you, all of you, for coming at 4 o'clock on a Friday afternoon. It's an interesting time for a show, and people should be at work. Some people drove really far to get here, too. That's impressive. I'm seeing movies I worked on.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Oh, perfect. Well, everybody, physically get up and go select. Put your microphone down and go select a name tag that you'd like to play for and bring it back to your seat. Okay. Whatever strikes your fancy. And while you guys do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Once again, this episode is brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace. Building a website can be tough, and even if you do know your way around coding, creating something that looks good and works well is a time-consuming affair. Whether it's a business site, a portfolio, a restaurant, or whatever else, in this day and age, you probably need one anyway. Well, lucky for us, Squarespace makes it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat. Squarespace provides simple, powerful, and beautiful websites that look professionally designed regardless of skill level. No coding required.
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Starting point is 00:42:14 Now back to it. All right, we're back. You guys really went out there and into the crowd and did some good name tag hunting. Let's start with Angelo. What do you got there? Well, I don't need to, I mean, to bring everything I do back to my movies, but Might as well. That's a good way to pick a name tag.
Starting point is 00:42:32 But honestly, and I actually misread that. I thought it said Encino Man, and it says Encino Dan. Well, because he changed it to Dan because it's his name tag. I got it. Okay. See, I've never, this is a first for me. Yeah, yeah. But I think why do you, do you like the movie
Starting point is 00:42:48 Encino Man? Well, no. The reason that I picked it was in the reference to the movies we did was that we were very curious about hiring Sean Astin. And we actually looked at Encino Man as a sample of his work. Yeah, and he's very likable in that movie.
Starting point is 00:43:04 He is. He's great. And we hired him. Not totally based on that movie, but in part. Sure. That's what people said when they made any Brendan Fraser movie. Alright. Because he was also... You know, even Pauly Shore was tolerable in that movie. It's really...
Starting point is 00:43:19 Encino Man is a fun movie, I think. And what they do is everybody writes a shithead on the back of their name tag. So if you lose today, their consolation prize is I have to say this out loud no matter what it says. I mean, if it said Mohammed, I wouldn't. But everything else. So there you go. Thanks for doing that.
Starting point is 00:43:37 What do you got, Josh? I have a new movie coming out with The Rock and Vin Diesel called Muscle and Bro. I love the tagline, when life gets you down, just push up. Valentine's Day next year. This is so great. What's the name of the person who made that? Elliot Hilton. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:06 I didn't need both first and last, but it's nice to know that someone from the Hilton Empire is slumming it and making name tags. What is amazing that this poster proves is that the success of the Fast and the Furious movie is based on the simple concept that muscle cars are clearly phallic extensions. And that people are shooting machine guns out of them, cars are clearly phallic extensions and that people are shooting machine guns out of them, which are clearly penis substitutes. So it's not just penis substitutes being shot out of phallic extensions, but the guys that star in the movie are these big, shiny, muscular, bald guys. They actually look like dicks. So what you have is guys that look like dicks shooting penis symbols out of phallic extensions, you'd have to go to Neil Patrick Harris' dream journal to get more cock.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I mean, that looks like a photo of a poor guy that has two dicks. Hey, Dean, is there any chance you could be hilarious about your name tag? No way. What is that? My name tag is clearly a woman named Glorin. That's what pulled me into it.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I'm assuming it's Lorin that you stuck in there. Yeah, Blades of Glorin. And it's the Blades of Glory poster, and she's Will Ferrell. She's Will Ferrell, and you are John Heater. John Heater. Yeah. I get to try that hairdo sometime.
Starting point is 00:45:29 It doesn't look too bad. It doesn't look too bad. I actually wrote on that movie, so I thought, well, that reminds me of money my ex-wife has. Let me get this poster. I'm so glad to hear that you wrote on that movie, because I always say I think it's one of the funniest, if not the funniest, Will Ferrell sports comedies.
Starting point is 00:45:46 I will say my favorite line in the movie. That's not narrowing it down that much. He had a streak. But my favorite line in the movie was something that Will just totally improvised. It was there up on the stand and John Heder goes, you smell like tacos. And Will goes, yes I do.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I was like, that's the funniest line in the movie. All right, maybe he's not that great. Jeff, what do you got there? I'm playing for Booney. Could you sit in a more relaxed style? When is your hammock getting here?
Starting point is 00:46:22 Who are you playing for, Jeff? Booney, my cousin Booney. Okay. He put what appears to be a My Cousin Vinny picture on a box of donuts. Pretty good strategy. Yeah, I like both of them. What kind of donuts? Can you flip that open for me?
Starting point is 00:46:35 It's National Donut Day today. No way. It is. It's a whole bunch of them. I'm sad that I know that. Is it National Cigarette Day, too? Just drop some in there on top of the donuts. Listen.
Starting point is 00:46:47 It went on the ground. You dropped a box of cigarettes. You dropped your cigarettes into the donuts. It was like a symbol of every fireman. Well, when this show's over, I'm going to have both. All right. Well, you might want to take aside a donut that you're going to enjoy later. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Because you know what happens when you pick donuts for a name tag? I throw them into the audience. Oh, that was real? I thought you guys were just doing a bit. The magic of podcasting. Oh, that one's going to leave a mark. Any of you other guys want to do this, feel free. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:36 Does anybody have a nut allergy? What about peanuts? Do it! Oh, that was a... That was an interesting dick lob. I feel like a bear claw. Hey, let's not mess up the theater. That was the most fun thing I've ever done in my whole life.
Starting point is 00:48:04 That Angelo put me in a sports movie. Stop where that apple fritter went, man. This is for you guys. Oh, sorry. Rag arm. That was to my name tag role. Wow, that one was... Here's a starburst.
Starting point is 00:48:21 That one was bitten by a famous writer-director. I'm glad it wasn't a box. Oh, that's his girlfriend. Okay, great. I'm glad it wasn't a box of kittens. They would have been fine, man. They all land on their feet. That was so great.
Starting point is 00:48:40 It's just donuts, because how much could they hurt? No matter how hard you throw them, they're donuts. And thanks for, I hope the theater's not mad at me for doing that. I'm glad they got those donuts into this theater, because a lot of places have no food rules. Well, this place is probably going to change their policy soon. All right, Angelo, we're going to play a series of games, and these guys kind of know what's going on. And a couple of newer games in the mix, and I'll talk you through all of it. And this first game is to determine who goes first in the second game.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah, super complicated. It's called Cluster Flicks or Don't Yell Amy Adams. And I'm going to say three movie titles. If one of you guys can think of the person that's in all three of those films, just go ahead and yell that name out. And if it's correct, the game is over. But if nobody gets it right, I'll just keep adding names. I should do that. I should count up how many titles there are and say it at the beginning, but I didn't do it this time.
Starting point is 00:49:53 But there's definitely more than 24 titles here. So just as soon as somebody knows it, somebody's going to put it together eventually. Here's your first three names. One person was in all three of these films. Judgment Night, 20 Bucks, and Car 54, Where Are You? No one in the audience yell out anything. Don Rickles. Unless it's definitely the wrong answer. No, no, don't yell out anything. Somebody guess Don Rickles? That's a good guess. Nothing? Fred Gwynn.
Starting point is 00:50:26 No. You've got My Cousin Vinny on the brain. Yeah. You didn't just say My Cousin Vinny three times? What? I thought you said the only person who was in three movies. My Cousin Vinny, My Cousin Vinny, My Cousin Vinny. Nope.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Judgment Night, 20 bucks and Car 54. Where are you? Dennis Leary. Nope. Judgment night, 20 bucks and car 54. Where are you? Dennis Leary. Nope. Here we go. Floundering. Together. Two is spelled T-W-O.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. Heat. Tone Loke. Nope. Larger than life. elephant kiss yeah there's an elephant in all those films kiss the girls operation dumb boat i'm kidding uh kiss the girls carrie l wes phoenix no the crew Hell was. Phoenix. No. The Crew. Rush Hour 2. Runaway Jury. Scary Movie 3.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Chasing Liberty. Two for the Money. Al Pacino. The Kingdom. Spy Kids. All the Time in the World. Jamie Byatt. No, no.
Starting point is 00:51:43 The Pirates. Band of Misfits. It's got an exclamation point in the middle of it. That World. Jeremy Pius. No, no. The Pirates, Band of Misfits. It's got an exclamation point in the middle of it, that title. That's weird. Serendipity. John Cusack. Jeremy Piven. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Jeremy Piven was in all of those films. Impressive. Keeping Up with the Steins, Rock and Rolla, Black Hawk Down, The Family Man, Smoke and Aces, Very Bad Things, Gross Point Blank, Say Anything, PCU, which also co-starred Jon Favreau, and Entourage, the movie, in theaters now. Yeah, if I'd have gotten Entourage, that would have been pretty sad. But great job. That was you, Jeff, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:21 Yep, Jeff got it. Paul, you're not proud of knowing Jeremy Piven films? Oh, no. What was the turning point? Which one gave it away? Whatever one you said right before I said Jeremy Piven. Oh, okay. Serendipity.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Huh? Serendipity, because he was in The Kingdom, too. That put it together nicely. Yeah, one of those other ones. All right, cool. All right, so that means Jeff gets to go first in the next game. And then we will go to Angelo, Josh, Dana, and around like that. And this game is called Now Bushimi, Now You Don't.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I'll give you a batch of Steve Buscemi movies, one of which he's actually not in, and you just have to pick out the one he's not in. If you can't get it, then it moves over to the next guy who only has to choose between two, and if that person can't get it, then we move on to the next one, because that's silly. Can I give you one funny thing he said from when I had dinner with him?
Starting point is 00:53:23 Wait. I would rather you be in a different situation with him, but go ahead. Look, I know I look like Don Knotts. But why did he have to suddenly say that? Were you just Mr. Limpity him all night? Were you like, you probably don't want to order the fish? I didn't bring it up, but he brought it up.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Were you trying to convince him that those two ladies were just your roommates? I was talking like Andy Griffith all night, hoping that he would pick it up. Oh, Steve, we're going to have good dinner. It's going to be flavorsomeome I get it I know Andy Andy you're gonna go sleep in the Simmons house tonight wait is that your impression
Starting point is 00:54:21 of Steve Buscemi clearly that's Andy Dick but do you think it's too soon Wait, is that your impression of Steve Buscemi? Clearly that's Andy Dick. But do you think it's too soon for the Don Knotts story? Why isn't Buscemi developing that for himself? Oh, Oliver Stone is making it, and right now we're at the part where he was actually on the moon with Neil Armstrong. Holy shit. It's just going to be called Knotts.
Starting point is 00:54:42 Holy shit. It's just going to be called... Nuts. The Reluctant Astronaut. Here's your three movies, Jeff. Tell me which one Bushimi is not in. Barton Fink, Billy Bathgate, Happy Gilmore. Billy Bathgate. Nope, he's not in Happy Gilmore. Oh shit, I didn't move on to the Bathgate, Happy Gilmore Billy Bathgate Nope, he's not in Happy Gilmore
Starting point is 00:55:06 Oh shit, I didn't move on to the next game Happy Gilmore Correct, Angelo's correct Moving on to Josh Josh I was just trying to make it fast Instead I made it furious Don't bring that up, Dana's got this whole thing About that movie's about dicks and instead I made it furious.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Don't bring that up. Dana's got this whole thing about that movie is about dicks. It's a triple dicker. Okay, so between these three movies, Josh, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. I think I love my wife and I robot. He's in two of those. I think I love my wife.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Nope. See, this time I was smarter. Moves on to Dana. Which one of those other two is Buscemi not in? I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry or iRobot. I'm going to say iRobot. Or it's sequel iRobote.
Starting point is 00:56:15 Wait, which one did Josh say? The one about his wife? Yeah, he's not in iRobot. All right, here we go. Dana, you get to go next. All right. I'm going to do it right this time, I swear to God. Was he in...
Starting point is 00:56:32 Which one wasn't he in? Monster-in-Law, Monster House, or Monster's University? Well, he couldn't have been in Monster House. Why is that? Oh, well, I was going to say because it's animated, but so is Monsters University. Yeah. Nobody's in animated movies.
Starting point is 00:56:54 What? He is in Monsters. I'm going to stick with Monster House. No, he's in Monster House. Then I'm going to say Monster and Law. It's not your turn anymore. I'm taking my turn. Jeff, what do you say?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Do you agree with that? Monster in Law? That's correct. He's not in Monster in Law. He's in Monsters University and Monsters, Inc. He's like the bad guy in both. All right. But you didn't say Monsters, Inc.
Starting point is 00:57:21 You said Monster House. I said Monsters University and Monster House. He's in Monster House. Yes. The Dan Harbin, Rob Scharab thing? He's the voice in it. Monsters, Inc. You said Monster House. I said Monsters University and Monster House. He's in Monster House. Yes. The Dan Harbin, Rob Scharab thing? He's the voice in it. All right, then. Angelo.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Which one of these is Buscemi not in? I'll try to say it different so you'll catch it. Try to help you out. 28 days, 50 first dates, 20 bucks. 28 days, 51st dates, 20 bucks. 28 days. Sorry. Also, we should have been eliminating people when they get it wrong. But has anybody got one wrong yet?
Starting point is 00:57:56 No, I haven't got one wrong. Oh, no. I mean, I got it. Yeah, Jeff's out. Jeff's out. Josh, you haven't gotten one wrong yet. Yeah, I have. No, you didn't. I was wrong about it. No, you haven't gotten one wrong yet. Yeah, I have. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:58:05 I was wrong about it. No, you were high. 20 bucks. You say he's not in 20 bucks? That's great. He's not in 50 First Dates. He's in 28 Days and 20 bucks. Terrific.
Starting point is 00:58:15 I'm better at this than I thought. I thought he was in like every Adam Sandler movie ever. The zombie movie? Yeah. No, no, no. The Sandra Bullock alcohol movie. Oh. The Sandra Bullock alcohol movie. Oh. The Sandra Bullock rehab movie.
Starting point is 00:58:27 What's the other? It's a little zombie. The zombie movie. Yeah, there's 28 Days and 28 Days Later. Oh, 28 Days Later, which sounds like the sequel to 28 Days, but it's really not. 28 Weeks is the sequel to 28 Days Later. 28 Weeks Later. Nine and a half weeks also Is, also has numbers.
Starting point is 00:58:48 In the title. There was also nine weeks, but that's not, that's not funny. It's too close to nine and a half. And that one was about Dudley Moore and Mary Tyler Moore. I'm not kidding. Had a dying child. Had nine months to live. Wasn't that it?
Starting point is 00:59:11 Six weeks. That's what I said. Six weeks. Holy shit. All right. Here's one thing the doctor probably doesn't say in that movie. I'm sorry. Your child has six weeks to live.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Starting now! No stopwatch. And go! And live your life, air horn. I'm going to murder your child in exactly six weeks. Click. Whose turn is it? It's mine.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Okay. No, it's not. I'm out. Why do you do that? It's Dana's turn is it? It's mine. Okay. No, it's not. I'm out. Why do you do that? It's Dana's turn, right? I know, right? It gets worse. Will you throw that donut back up here?
Starting point is 00:59:56 Yeah. This game has more rules than Fizbin, anybody? Did you say Fizbi? Fizbin, anybody? So you say Fizbi? Fizbin. Anybody? So, Angelo and Josh are out. Dana's still in. And Jeff's out. I'm out. Everybody's out.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Wait a second. No, someone's in. Dana won. Somebody must have still been doing alright. Let's give it to Dana. Hooray! Hooray. Hooray. You backed into that one. Holy shit, this one had marshmallow in it.
Starting point is 01:00:36 For the listeners, Jeff is eating a donut. I feel like they knew. I hadn't said anything in 40 seconds this one's got marshmallow in it sounded funny to me oh one of those Doritos tacos they'll try it fast food is just trying anything at this point
Starting point is 01:00:59 they're just like let's just throw shit at the wall I have that exact same bit on the CD that's in that bag over there. Have you been to Taco Bell after one in the morning where they just let you throw shit at the wall? You could go to the steam table and it's like $4. And then whatever you get to stick to the wall is your thing. You get to name it. It's like a Mexican hibachi.
Starting point is 01:01:32 I don't know who... I think someone should be offended by that. Just generally the listeners. Alright, so the next game we're going to play, we're going to wind this thing up with the rousing game of Last Man Stanton. And people on the old Twitter have been hitting me up today saying that they've got the perfect name for this game. So let me explain how the game works to the guests
Starting point is 01:01:59 while I also fly through my Twitter and try to find some of these people. Basically, we're going to get a name of an actor or actress, and then I'll play along as well. If you come in second place to me, you still win. And we're going to name off movies that that person was in, taking turns. If you can't think of one or you say one that's wrong, then you're out. And who did we decide won that last thing? We'll say Dana won the last thing.
Starting point is 01:02:29 But how does this involve Stanton, which I assume implies Harry Dean? Yeah, it's called Last Man Stanton because when he played it, and it didn't have a name yet, we did the films of Harry Dean Stanton, and he won. Okay. Okay. Yeah. He beat us three children down by being able to name,
Starting point is 01:02:50 I think maybe he named four of his films. Here's something you've never heard after someone says the name Harry Dean Stanton. He goes to my gym. Oh, my God. We have the same nutritionist. What? I do. I do have the same nutritionist as Harry. I think you mean bartender. Well, whatever. It's whoever just gives me stuff.
Starting point is 01:03:23 All right. I got to find some of these things you guys this is driving me crazy i can't find them uh i gotta go to my favorites and um all right where is four color kyle yep is not really the answer to that question but where is he? Yep. He's back there in the corner. He wrote, starting a five-hour drive to see Doug Benson again at Limestone Fest. I have a never-used Last Man Stanton name, hashtag Pinky Promise.
Starting point is 01:04:02 So there's that guy. hashtag pinky promise so there's that guy and then we also have patty boy 1 0 8 3 where you at right you will please say yep you know coming from st. Louis to limestone comedy fest have a great last man Stanton suggestion and then there's another one the he be chibijeebie where's that heebie-jeebie at yeah all right and uh and you just wrote I've got a last man standing suggestion for you tonight and uh I apologize in advance but I bet these other two people traveled further for this moment and so I want to honor that.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Which is further, St. Louis or five hours? Why is that funny? It's about the same? You guys... I've never seen such enjoyment of a simple math joke. St. Louis is four hours.
Starting point is 01:05:08 All right, so five-hour wins. It's funny. We have a box of two donuts and a basket of unlimited Starburst. The stage looks like a math problem. If Jeff had two donuts and Josh Snead had a lot of Starburst. And there are five minutes left in the show. Me, I'll eat these donuts. Is that the answer?
Starting point is 01:05:34 Anybody that comes tomorrow for the Hoosiers interruption, don't worry. There will be no donut throwing. Or it'll be kept to a minimum. You most likely won't even be kept to a minimum. You most likely won't even be able to bring them in. Yeah. I'll just bring one chalupa
Starting point is 01:05:50 and throw it at somebody. But tomorrow something tells me I just see the words smoldering embers and police tape. Four Color Kyle, you're it.
Starting point is 01:06:02 You're going to tell us the name of an actor or actress that we're going to play Last Man Stanton with. It better be good. It better be worth that five-hour drive. John Leguizamo. I need to name you. Leguizamo.
Starting point is 01:06:16 That's probably not the same guy. So I think when people sit around going, I've got the perfect name, they're thinking, if I were to play, because I love Johnny Legs. That's a fellow who thinks a one-man show is a movie. I don't mind playing it. Let me ask the panel.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Do you guys want to do it, or do you want to fish for another name? Fish for another name. I can only think of two right now. John the Pest Leguizamo? Hey, don't blow it! to do it or do you want to get fished for another name fish for another name i only know you can only think of two right john the pest leg was on hey don't blow it don't start blowing out names john wick so where's st louis at what's your what name do you have that's so great pressure's on. Ray Fine.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Ray Fine? Get the fuck out of here. Most people don't even know how to pronounce it right. We couldn't do both of those names for two rounds. You guys already hilariously burned the only two Leguizamo movies i've ever even heard of you've heard of a lot of other leguizamo movies you just don't know that he's in them because he's too long because he's that good and the rock fades right well that way we're gonna play it anyway josh what's no i just was making sure that the only two i knew got out there so we don't have to use him.
Starting point is 01:07:47 He's in The Rock? I've seen The Rock like a hundred times. You could do any of the fucking... Right? He's in there, right? What are those movies with all the mammoths and dinosaurs and the little squirrel? Ice Age? Ice Age movies. Any Ice Age movies?
Starting point is 01:07:56 No, man. I'm a Christian. I don't... I don't really go into blasphemous science fiction. There's a museum for you in a neighboring state. I've been there. I donate to it. We live there.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Tyrannosaurus saddles were big. Yeah, they had to be. Have you seen a Tyrannosaurus? They were big. I think when people are writing to me and saying, I've got a great one, they're thinking one that's going to be difficult as opposed to one that's going to yield a long, fun game because there's lots of potential answers. Although both of those actors are in a lot of things, just not things that are in this group's wheelhouse, apparently. I mean, you know, Ray Fiennes, you could start, you know, if you know how the Harry Potter titles go fines you could start you know if you know how the harry potter titles go you could start naming those off but anyway where's uh he be jeebies what do you
Starting point is 01:08:51 got this is the last one guys so you've you tossed out the other two so this one we have to take it no matter what he be jeebie says right now i really we're gonna play it and we're gonna play it to the best of our ability starting starting with Dana, going to Josh. What name are we using? Christian Bale. Okay. Not bad. All right.
Starting point is 01:09:17 It's not great, but it's not bad. Dana, any Christian Bale movie? Empire of the Sun. Okay. I don't think I said name the first Christian Bale movie? Empire of the Sun. Okay. I don't think I said name the first Christian Bale movie, but... That's how my brain works. All right. Josh?
Starting point is 01:09:33 Batman Begins. Don't forget, guys, I'm a stickler for correct titles. I don't think he was in that. We have a challenge. I'm glad this game doesn't work that way. Angelo, any Christian Bale movie? American Psycho. I'm going to go with Newsies.
Starting point is 01:09:59 That's a great one. Jeff? The Dark Knight. Right? Yeah. He was the last Batman, right? He was? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:21 Dana? American Hustle. Oh, I didn't know he was in so many american movies josh uh batman forever are you for real really no? No, not really. Give me your shithead. Is it on the back of that basket? What? No, it's on the back of the sign.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, you got the sign, too. But let's imagine a pissed-off Christian Bale taking direction from Joel Schumacher. First of all, you're going to turn that frown upside down and be Gotham's savior for me. Now you're going to put it in your eyes and take it out of your heart. Which voice are you doing?
Starting point is 01:11:12 Well, clearly that's Jack Klugman. Now it's garbage, Felix. You just sound like every episode of The Match Game now. Dana, do you remember Quincy M.E.? Of course I do. Yeah, right? That show was hilarious. I don't think any coroners, medical examiners, are running around solving deaths.
Starting point is 01:11:46 They're just saying what caused it, and that's it. They don't have to go out and solve a mystery. They know. They're looking at the body, and they go, this is what happened to it. Brian Kiley, who's a very funny comedian and a writer on Conan O'Brien, used to have a really funny bit. The end of every episode of Quincy was, what do you mean heart attack? We're talking murder here. Jack Klugman in some of the greatest
Starting point is 01:12:12 Twilight Zone episodes, by the way. He's in multiple Twilight Zones? Yeah, he's in like three or four of them. Holy shit. He worked a lot, that guy. Mm-hmm. Good actor. Couldn't be more dead.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Right? Like that kid in that Dudley Moore movie. I think he's a man. I wonder if the kid that played that kid is alive still. How would you like to be the... What about the kid doing the Super Bowl commercial? I hope that kid's not dead. Oh, that commercial where the pig flew around?
Starting point is 01:12:45 Was that even from this last Super Bowl? I don't know. I just know the Super Bowl had a dead kid commercial. It did. And Nationwide is on your side. Who said American Hustle? I did. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:57 And Josh missed. Josh is out. Okay. Angelo. Exodus. What? Exodus? Oh, Exodus. I thought you said exes like he was in some wacky romantic.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Having dinner with my exes would be more violent than Exodus, that's for sure. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know why you're yelling something out. Please don't. Oh, they yelled full title did he yeah in that case thank you what is the full title of the film they love it when i'm a stickler do you know the full title of exodus uh-huh i do not know oh i think i know but but I'm not sure. The book after Genesis. But I'm not going to say it, so I'm sorry, Angelo. You're out. There's more words in the title than just Exodus.
Starting point is 01:13:53 The search for Curly's gold. Yeah. I mean, it is. That's funny, but I think it's the reckoning. It is in a desert. No, I'm kidding. I think I know what it is, but I'm not going to say it because I'm not going The Reckoning. It is in a desert. No, I'm kidding. I think I know what it is, but I'm not going to say it because I'm not going to say it wrong. I'm not going to make that mistake. Somebody else
Starting point is 01:14:12 can. It's down to me and Jeff and Dana and for my next one, I'm going to say that he was in a motion picture called Out of the Furnace. Yes, where he was way... Pretty picture called Out of the Furnace. Yes. Where he was way... Pretty good movie, too.
Starting point is 01:14:30 Josh? I mean, Jeff? The Dark Knight Rises? Yes. I can't believe I didn't scoop that one up after the other two were said. Also, also what? Don't say anything else.
Starting point is 01:14:48 You got it right right why ruin it? that is the greatest advice I've ever been given I wish I'd known you before my marriage failed good to have you on board. Dana? The mechanic.
Starting point is 01:15:10 Yes, the mechanic. Whoa, you're right. You're out, Dana. Was it mechanic? No, the machinist. The machinist. I'm sorry. That's my answer. Mechanics are machinists by definition.
Starting point is 01:15:25 Jeff, back to you again. Did you say machinists? Yeah. Then can I say exodus gods and kings? Yes. Well, I'm... I kept wanting to say exodus gods and monsters and I didn't think that was right. I've read the book. Oh, that movie's also pulling out.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Touche. Okay, it's's also called Pulling Out. Touche. Okay, it's back on me. Back on me. I can't believe it hasn't come up yet, because it might be... I think it's one of its greatest performances, if not the greatest. The Fighter.
Starting point is 01:15:58 Oh, yeah. No, it's The Fightrix. Jeff? The Prestige. Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Terminator Salvation!
Starting point is 01:16:23 What? Is that the right one? I don't know what you just said. Oh, Terminator Salvation! What? Is that the right one? I don't know what you just said. Oh, Terminator Salvation? Oh, yeah. That's the one where he got mad on the set and had the tantrum. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm really curious, in this new Terminator movie,
Starting point is 01:16:36 how come the Arnold Schwarzenegger robot got old? Why was it Arnold Schwarzenegger from Jump? Why was the robot ever a big muscular guy with an Austrian accent? He's a robot. He doesn't have to have muscles. He doesn't have to have physical muscles. He could just be big and beat shit up. Wow, you really took what I said and ran with it.
Starting point is 01:17:04 I love movies. Can I throw another giant robot gap at you? Yes. Let's go all the way back to Star Wars. Let's go. Which one? Phantom Menace? Are you using your third and final?
Starting point is 01:17:19 You've been patient. No, in Star Wars, which is the only movie ever been made called Star Wars, it has no other title, our strategic says to C-3PO, beep boop boop boop boop, and he goes, what?
Starting point is 01:17:36 The com link? I almost forgot. I turned it off. You're a fucking computer. You can't forget. You're a fucking computer. You can't forget. Asshole. He's always being so traumatized, though,
Starting point is 01:17:56 by life and death situations that robots have freedom. I've been walking around with that since 1977. All right, you want to talk about things that bother people? When Sean Connery breaks everyone into Alcatraz, he rolls through that fire that he timed in his head 40 years ago, and then he goes inside and then he just opens that door. So that means when he was coming out the first time, he should have just gone through that door. Like when they said, can you break us into Alcatraz?
Starting point is 01:18:28 You should be like, well, the last step was like a door that I think it locks from the outside. And then there's like a fire way, but so no, I can't break you into Alcatraz. Okay. I have one more. Let me say with the one I know so that it doesn't seem like I'm stalling. Shaft. Whoa, Shaft.
Starting point is 01:18:50 Yeah, the remake. I did not think it was the original. Go, Dana, because I need time to think now. There is no reason for Indiana Jones to be in the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark. His job in the movie is to prevent the Nazis from finding the Ark. He fails. The Nazis open the Ark, and the Ark defends itself. The only possible thing that would have happened had he not shown up
Starting point is 01:19:20 was that they sent the Ark straight to Hitler, and there would have been no World War II. It would be as if it's Star Wars Luke missed. Well, we tried. I always like it too. When anybody around you, their faces are melting, just scream, close your eyes and you'll probably get through it okay yeah when I've seen people's faces
Starting point is 01:19:51 start melting if I shut my eyes it tends to settle it down and does anyone know who untied them? did that spooky ghost go, whoo? Hang on. Keep your eyes closed.
Starting point is 01:20:11 They didn't know that's what was going to happen when they found out. Hang on, this is a shank. Whoo? Is that Christopher Lloyd? That was also Jack Klugman. I can't think of another one. Jeff is our winner. Jeff won the game.
Starting point is 01:20:34 I'm pretty sure there aren't too many left, but we definitely missed something. What did we miss, you guys? Equilibrium. Yeah. Inglourious bastards. What? No, I have no idea.
Starting point is 01:20:49 Stop doing that. This is my favorite part of the game, though. Reign of fire. Reign of fire. I think of that as a McConaughey vehicle. That and the dragons. But that's... Harsh times.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Public enemies. Oh, public enemies harsh times public enemies rescue dawn oh yeah little women god damn it see how hard this game is there's always a ton left over
Starting point is 01:21:17 the duff I think he's in the duff he's not in the duff what 310 to Yuma is great I love 310 to Yuma Not in the Duff. What? 310 to Yuma is great. I love it. That's one of my favorite remakes. 310 to Yuma.
Starting point is 01:21:30 Yeah. That is a great movie. Yeah. All right. Well, Christian Bale doesn't get involved in too much shit. Like, what's the worst Christian Bale movie? Equilibrium. Yep.
Starting point is 01:21:42 There's a guy who... I didn't even know what that movie is. I didn't say, what am I losing right now? Whoever yelled equilibrium has not seen Shaft. Dude, Shaft is kind of fun. What's his name? Jeffrey Wright is very entertaining in Shaft. Like, almost Academy Award level, I thought, his performance.
Starting point is 01:22:04 Wait, who? Jeffrey Wright. I don't know who that is. But you know the remake of Shaft, right? Yeah. He was like the, uh, he was like supposed to be Puerto Rican or something. What was his name? Peoples. Yeah. Oh, hey, I thought you, wait, wasn't that Busta Rhymes?
Starting point is 01:22:23 All I know about Shaft. you're talking about the Sam Jackson shaft yeah yeah yeah yeah one of the bad guys is played by Jeffrey Wright and it's a really entertaining performance
Starting point is 01:22:30 that you forgot about because you think it's a shit movie yeah all I know about shaft is no one understands him but his woman
Starting point is 01:22:40 that's the lyric in this I've only not liked one movie I'm talking about John Shaft. Yeah, that is weird. You like everything and then you pick on poor Shaft. I'd say watch it again.
Starting point is 01:22:53 Okay, I'll watch it again for sure. It's not great though. No, that's okay. If it's just okay, I'll love it. I don't know why I'm defending it so much, but I thought he was really good in it. But let's do some plugs, you guys. What do you got? October 9th is the release date. Did I remember that right?
Starting point is 01:23:09 Yeah, at a theater near you. Yeah, it's called? My All-American. My All-American. Yeah. Yeah. Josh? Follow me on Twitter, at Josh Sneed.
Starting point is 01:23:27 S-N-E-E-D. Double E. And watch at midnight. I'm not going to be on there, but I hope Chris Hardwick hears this and puts me on. Points! Thank you. Yeah, Chris scours podcast for mentions of himself and then you're in
Starting point is 01:23:48 no he has a bot that does that Dana what's going on you just talked your way out of being on at midnight I have a little podcast called the Dana Gould Hour enjoy that it's free and a bunch of other shit you got a Twitter, right?
Starting point is 01:24:07 You don't take the summer off, do you? I have a Twitter No, I'm No, yeah At Dana Gould, believe it or not On the Twitter Cool Again, free
Starting point is 01:24:17 Free jokes, you guys Free jokes every day Or when I feel like it Jeff And a lot of pointless political rant Free jokes, you guys. Free jokes every day. Or when I feel like it. Jeff? And a lot of pointless political rant. No, I don't do that. Twitter.com.
Starting point is 01:24:40 Also, I'll be... Follow Jeff Tate from Queensryche on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. Or Jeff Tate 77 from this stage. No, no, 77 is a fake me. That's not me. What? I'm 96. I'm Jeff Tate 96.
Starting point is 01:24:54 Oh, Jesus. Jeff Tate 77 is a... It's a parody account. Yeah, it's a parody account. Right? I think it's flattering, right? People only parody famous people but you see how happy he is right all the time well the parody twitter account is just happy jeff tate tweets
Starting point is 01:25:14 so it's the antithesis of that so it's stuff like i just saw a lone ranger again no that's that's on the 96 one that's on the real one. That's on the real one, the one I do. You have seen it more than once? Yeah, man. He fucking rides that horse onto a train and the train is moving. It's not even a stop train. It's a moving train. It's awesome.
Starting point is 01:25:37 As part of the post credit sequence of San Andreas, there's a scene where they're filling in the fault with unsold Tonto costumes from Halloween. And then you see Tonto with one tear. He's just thinking about garbage.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Yeah, looking at garbage at the screening. Yeah, I said it. Woohoo! July 9-12, I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati headlining for an hour July 9-12 of this year 2015 so they're sitting around like
Starting point is 01:26:14 what if you call the club Bananas no it's not enough Go Bananas we need to tell people what to do yeah Go To Bananas they named it in 1990 and that was when We need to tell people what to do. Go to bananas. They named it in 1990 and that was when the audience
Starting point is 01:26:29 needed a little more direction. That's when Uncle Fucker's Chuckle Hutch was not available. Yeah, Trip Wingfield wasn't just making him laugh on his own. Sir Laughs-A-Lot was another one. You don't have your little book for your... Oh no, that's my only plug. Also, I have a podcast about cheers.
Starting point is 01:26:51 Famous from famous, like, L-E-T-S-G-O, let's go, let's go, L-E-T-S-G-O. Yeah, yeah, be aggressive. Be, be aggressive. I like that they can spell be, but not aggressive. Be aggressive. B- B, aggressive. I like that they can spell B but not aggressive. B, aggressive. B, E, aggressive.
Starting point is 01:27:12 Right? Well, you know, they're cheerleaders, Dana. They're like dead men. So, spelling is difficult. Young dead men. June 14th, I'm going to be doing a Doug Loves Movies at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles at 420. And I'm pretty sure it's going to be a Tournament of Championships edition. DouglasMovies.com for all my dates and deets and links.
Starting point is 01:27:35 Thank you so much to all the panel, the audience, the Buskirk Chumley Theater. Limestone Comedy Festival. Where's the person that Jeff was playing for? Come get your very heavy prize bag. Good luck with that. If you can tell me what record store you're going to sell my albums to, I'll buy them back before I leave. All right. Listen to those albums. to sell my albums to, I'll buy them back before I leave. Alright. Listen to those albums. Dana Gould is
Starting point is 01:28:09 the best. It's a fact. Oh, nuts to you. Wow, good memory. Alright. As always. Eddie Redmayne is a shithead. Tom Brady's flat balls are a shithead. I guess I should have said that one last.
Starting point is 01:28:44 Tim McLaughlin sniffing his own foot is a shithead. Play the theme. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was fakes in foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.

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