Doug Loves Movies - Danielle Koenig, Eliza Skinner and Noël Wells guest
Episode Date: November 22, 2021Doug welcomes Danielle Koenig, Eliza Skinner and Noël Wells to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to&...nbsp;stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see.
Because Doug loves movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again for another homes alone edition
it's sunday november 21st 2021 and my guests today are daniel koenig eliza skinner and noelle wells
hi hi hi hello that was great let's meet each each of you individually and alphabetically, starting with first time guests on the show, I think.
Definitely a comedian, also a brand new podcaster with the podcast How to Survive with Danielle and Christine.
It's half of those names. It's Danielle Koenig.
Hi.
Hi. How's it it going it's going pretty
good how are you is the podcast going all right it's called how to survive and it sounds like
you have thus far we are we are currently surviving um yeah we are always prepared to flee
and stay calm that's what you got to do in most dangerous situations. Yeah, the show is going great.
The premise is we walk you through how to survive
a natural or otherwise disaster,
like being held up at gunpoint or surviving a fire.
And we do it with humor because we really don't know any,
we don't really know what we're talking about.
We just Google it and spread the word and then we
have on a hilarious guest who tells us how they survived um you know something uh harrowing in
in the sense of embarrassing or painful without being actually life-threatening what did you
talk about on the most recent episode? Well, let's see.
Oh, well, this last Tuesday, we recorded one with Oscar Nunez,
who you know from The Office.
Yeah, he's great.
And that won't air for a while because we're actually a little bit ahead.
But he talked about surviving, living,
like moving to a new city with no money and how he did that so that was again the new city was
los angeles so it's not easy sure sure yeah yeah yeah well that's uh that's a great story i'm sure
and a terrific tease for your show that that episode is in the future yeah yeah we've got a
lot of great uh topics and guests it's it's been really fun thank you i love it i'm into it thank
you for being here.
Thanks.
We've got two dangling champs with us today.
That's people who won in previous episodes and have been invited back.
The first of which is, I always want to say Ned to Earth.
I do not know why.
Ed to Nerf.
Earth to Ned.
Head writer.
Eliza Skinner. Hi, Eliza.
Hi. It's good to be back.
Good to have you back. How did you celebrate Disney Plus Day?
I, you know, in the traditional way, we gathered around the Disney Plus tree.
way we gathered around the disney plus tree um we sang the disney plus carols and uh we're happy to have another year of health insurance thanks to father disney plus
yeah it's um it's really they pushed really hard the other day it was that was it like last Friday or something? But it was really, you know, Disney Plus Day.
And they gave it away for $1.99.
You can get it for a month for $1.99.
Which clearly means that too many people are watching Disney Plus.
You know?
But if you did happen to grab it, go ahead and watch the show that I call Earth to Ned.
Obviously, Doug calls it an Earth to Wed or Birth to Bed.
Yeah, I just can't get it.
I can't get it right, even though like I even have it written down in front of me and I still say it differently.
It says great things about our naming ability that it's that memorable for you.
I think it's more on me.
I mean, Ned is, you know,
I think you nailed it with just having the name Ned in there
and I'm in, I'm not going to forget that.
I just don't know, you know,
who comes first, the Earth or the Ned.
That's fair. That's fair.
And it is kind of a give and take between the two you know so
you know just get as long as you get some of the words in there
people are going to find things by searching on a an app if they search a word they find it
is fine it's true yeah if they just look up, it's going to be this show and maybe also Mike White in School of Rock.
His name was Ned in that. Our second champ joining us today, defeater of Edgar Wright, no less.
Oh, it's Noelle Wealth.
Hello. I love hearing that. I was being introduced to that.
Can you believe you beat Edgar Wright at his own game?
Yeah, I would say it was a fluke, but I don't know.
I even had questions.
I had things in there that only the director of Last Night in Soho would know.
And you still managed to prevail. it was quite impressive yes thank you thank
and thank you for coming back and uh i expect quite a competition today but before
we get into the games today i would like uh the listeners i'd like to help the listeners
find some quality films that they may not have seen.
You know, could be classics, could be hidden gems, could be, you know, just weird cult movies, whatever.
But I'd like each of you to please recommend one movie.
And as I like to do with almost everything, I will go alphabetically.
We'll start with Danielle.
Okay.
What's the movie that you'd like to recommend?
It's called Girth to Fred.
No.
This isn't necessarily a small cult movie,
but I hadn't heard of it until Parasite came out,
and everyone told me to see snowpiercer and i just saw it with my son and it is fantastic i just think it's it's it's such a great movie i
really recommend it to anybody just uh and probably right on the cusp uh age appropriate
wise though it's intense yeah it is intense yeah
like he hasn't he's 14 he hasn't seen um parasite which i think is probably gorier
bloodier than this movie but yeah he's seen a lot of kind of he's seen a lot of intense stuff so
he's okay but he i mean he doesn't like horror films but he likes you know sort of thriller type things i this is a it's an intense movie it's
really intense the the setting does not stop moving literally because you're in a moving
train the whole time i said to all of it he said to me there wasn't any downtime and i said yeah
it just kept moving literally and figuratively yeah no stops. Chugging along that movie.
Stops are boring.
Let's just go.
Well, you might be happy to know, I don't know how well they're pulling it off, but
it's continuing on as a TV series, The Snowpiercer.
It's like they're on like season three now, I think.
Are you kidding?
I'm not.
I had no idea.
David Diggs and Jennifer Connellyennifer connelly kind of plays
the tilda swinton figure on the train and um yeah and it's just going and going it's on tnt i believe
have you watched it is i'm not mistaken i saw the pilot i saw the first episode and i you know
should have kept going but you know didn't for there's just so much to watch so many things
but i did not you know i did not dislike it i just you know didn't for there's just so much to watch so many things but i did
not you know i did not dislike it i just you know i definitely wondered how how do they keep this
going you know tv series about a train that doesn't stop is that that just seems exhausting
but it looked like they had a lot of calm scenes because they have you know the you know of course every train has a quiet car um all right so let's go to uh eliza skinner please recommend a movie um okay i am not sure
if i've recommended this before but i'm going to go ahead and say sing street oh i bet you have
and i'm never tired of hearing it i of course i of course call it street sing but you know whatever you call it i love your
consistency you know that's a delightful movie it's my favorite movie musical most um i love
musicals but most musicals i would rather watch as a live experience as a stage thing i think that
that's the musical is really like meant to be on stage you're meant to be in the same room with
people and usually when the transfer is over you it doesn't do as well this was written for uh for for film and it just
it gets me every time and i love the music in it and i love the characters and if you haven't seen
it get into it and i think it's great for um oh wow my dog is not agreeing with me um i think it's
great for uh for like teens pre-teens um it's a real like coming into your own uh having having
an identity kind of movie and creative identity so that's my pitch yeah i love it i love it that's
a that's a great one um the you know the young actors in that movie are starting to pop up, pop up as, you know,
slightly older actors in other things. And I,
I'm always happy to see them because that, that movie is so good.
Plus it's going to be a, uh,
Is it a TNT show also?
No, it's an off Broadway musical. Like they're going to do it as a stage musical.
So, uh,
Okay. Might even make it
might even make it to Broadway yes well that's another thing I definitely am very critical of the
movie to uh stage adaptation because you know sometimes it's just like well that didn't need
a bunch of singing in it you know like yeah like when I watch Tootsie I don't go this is missing a
lot of singing and dancing I'll tell you I think the secret to a movie being adapted into a musical is pick a bad
movie pick a bad movie that nobody cared about anyway the original um little shop of horrors
the like b horror sure perfect they could do whatever they wanted with that they can like
heighten it and play around with it but yeah yeah, Tootsie is perfect as a movie.
You don't need to do anything to that.
Yeah.
Do Tremors instead.
Why aren't you making a musical out of Tremors?
Why aren't you making Ladyhawk the musical?
Oh, Ladyhawk.
I'm sure everything's in development.
I'm sure that there is a movie title that people know
that doesn't have a shot at being a broadway
show it's a little crazy i had a friend who was trying to do a a king of kong musical at one
point and i'm i was very excited about the idea of a documentary musical but i don't know if it
ever happened yeah i don't i you know there was a documentary about that contest where people put their hands on the car
and hands on a hard body yeah there's that was that became a musical but i think that was more
about that that particular event like and with fictional characters and it wasn't like
specifically based on the doc so there wasn't like a snicker bar uh i don't know i never saw
it but i wanted to see it oh my gosh it sounded interesting there's yeah
one of the guys and it like survives the whole thing by his secret is having snickers bars
and he's just like you know when i start getting down i have snickers bar it's oh yeah yeah in the
movie in the movie oh yeah that's right so you did see that i mean i didn't see the broadway show so
i don't know if they included the snickers bars or if they had to like you know maybe get a tie
in with somebody else you know how like m&m's missed out on yes because they
thought it sounded like why would we want that disgusting monster eating our candy yeah maybe
that maybe they added reese's cups to the hands of the heartburning musical
i prefer them anyway uh that's a great recommendation.
Noelle Wells, what would you like to recommend?
Hello.
Hello.
I'm back.
No, I'm just kidding.
I would like to recommend this French New Wave film that I loved as a kid called Small Change by Francois Truffaut I just got I um I just remembered it this week because I found a book adaptation of the film which you know it's always funny when a movie gets made and then they they translate the
book or they like transcribe it into a book but Francois Truffaut did it so it was very charming
and it made me it like kind of gives you a the, I guess I'm also now recommending this book, but it gives you like,
Oh no, so much homework.
It gives you an inside idea of like what the movie was about, but it's,
it's like several stories about children and childhood and they all sort of
intersect and it's just a really delightful film.
Yeah. Cause it's a bunch of French kids
roaming around speaking in French, right?
Yeah, they're French.
It's adorable.
Very adorable.
There's something about any European accent
on a little, little kid.
I can't get over it.
It's amazing.
Sophisticated, but funny.
Yeah, exactly.
They can get away with a lot.
They can... Yeah yeah they just already have
just a naturally spicy exciting you know it's an accent so it's like already uh uh foreign you know
at least to us but uh that movie i remember i haven't seen it in forever but i remember
liking it when i was younger because you know if you're into movies you
really get like beat over the head with how you know true true foe is so important and i i have
to say of all the you know kind of film school filmmakers he's the one that you know i tend to
enjoy his stuff more than than some of the other ones that get a lot of play you know yeah yeah yeah all right so we got three s titles that's
the first thing i see in common here uh snowpiercer six street it's small change that's that's a
interesting group of movies i recommend you bang them all out the same day if you can
because that's an emotional roller coaster right there. For sure.
Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for visiting Recommendation Nation.
It's time to play some games. After the break, of course, we'll be right back.
We are back and we're going to play a new game that I came up with the other day because I started an internet argument that I thought was interesting.
because I started an internet argument that I thought was interesting.
There's some people out there that love The Green Mile.
There's some people out there that love Shawshank Redemption.
And there's a lot of people out there that love both of them because they love really long prison movies.
That's not my genre of choice,
but I decided
to come up with a game called The Green
Mile Redemption to see
if people know the difference
between The Green Mile and
Shawshank Redemption.
I'm already so confused.
I haven't seen either since they came out.
Right, but you did see them, right?
They're big movies.
Yes, I saw them.
I saw them.
It was people are almost like forced to see them, like almost like like they were sentenced to to watch these movies.
And in the case of Shawshank, I hardly ever meet a man who doesn't think it's one of the best movies ever made.
I was about to say a fun game is to um to to tell men that you love shawshank
and that movie about like inventing toys in like the 20s or 40s right with tim robbins it's oh
right yeah or just any kind of just just not right thing about shawshank fortunately that you saw it
and you were like they really can't handle that now but now i can't think of the
actual name of that tim robbins movie well oh hud sucker
all right so yeah it's uh this is not an easy game
that's why it's the first game. It doesn't really matter.
I'll say something about one of these movies or neither of these movies. So each answer you give will either be Shawshank Redemption, Green Mile, or neither.
We'll start with Danielle.
If she misses the first question it goes to eliza and
then she misses it goes to noel who should be able to figure out by process of elimination
if it gets that far so you could some people could get points just by uh lucking out being
uh being absurd here's the first one danielle okay which. Which one, Shawshank Redemption, Greenweiler,
neither has a character in it named Toot Toot?
I'm going to say Shawshank.
You're going Shawshank Redemption?
Feels like it's got a Toot Toot in it?
Yeah.
I'm sorry to say that is incorrect.
There's no toot toot that I'm aware of in Shawshank Redemption.
So we go to Eliza.
Is that a character in Green Mile or is that something I made up,
something that's in neither?
I'll say Green Mile.
I don't remember much about it.
Oh, my God. The prophecy I just explained has come true.
You're welcome, Noel.
I can't remember the two answers that have happened thus far. She gets the point.
Tooth Tooth, is it true?
Unless she really doubles down on the variants or challenges you wanted.
You know, I'm sure
in some prison somewhere there's a toot toot,
but I would say
neither.
Oh my god.
I screwed up.
Let's go backwards.
Wait, what?
Eliza was right.
Eliza got it right i was like really yeah i was i i was like i don't know what
confused me but uh but it is the fact that there's a character named tutu in a real there
is a character named tutu in the green mile i mostly skeptical i love that everyone listening
that loves these movies is enraged right now.
Fumes.
That I was wrong for a moment there about it.
And because Toot Toot's probably a beloved character.
He's played by Harry Dean Stanton.
He's not the mouse?
I know, right?
The mouse should be Toot Toot, but I guess Harry Dean Stanton was Toot Toot.
All right.
So that means apologies to Noel but you gotta go first in
this next round all right I'm ready because Eliza got the point all right here we go and Noel misses
it then Danielle gets shot etc uh here it is which movie or neither use the tagline your dreams can't be imprisoned oh uh that's shawshank redemption
i love your confidence oh no incorrect at least for now i might change my mind
all right let's go to Danielle.
What do you think, Danielle?
I'm going to say neither.
You know what?
You figured that out.
That's correct.
Okay.
Yeah.
A little too cutesy.
I mean, you should see the real ones.
They're pretty much a combination of those words.
Oh, really?
Yeah, pretty similar.
No bars could hold his faith.
Yeah, exactly.
They are rough. They get some rough taglines sometimes but uh but you sniffed out that uh lie so you get a point and we're
back to eliza for round three this is this for the win eliza if you could figure this one out
this one out.
One received,
I should say, won or received
two Oscars.
The winner of two Oscars.
Is it Shawshank
Green Mile or neither?
Shawshank.
I'm sorry, but that is incorrect.
It really would have worked out on a date with someone I didn't like.
That would have been a great response, that answer.
Right?
Because they'll tell you about how it deserves Oscars.
It deserves all the Oscars.
Every category.
Even makeup.
Even animation. Which wasn't even a category yet a little known thing is for one day uh shooting they all decided to play switch them up and play each other's
characters and the makeup department made that work that's what you see in the film
yeah they definitely got snubbed then yeah um noelle what do you think you can make this a three-way
tie if you get this right well i think it i mean i think green mile won two oscars maybe more but
i mean i think i'd say exact well i don't know maybe not you're right you might have you might
have figured something out there that it might've been
more, but, uh, uh, you're going with green mile. Yeah.
Oh, no.
I should have won all the Oscars as well.
Yeah.
Daniel, you never know for sure if you're right or wrong, so you give me some time to think about it.
But let's move on to Danielle.
Which one is left?
I'm going to venture and say neither.
Yeah, neither is not only correct, but with seven nominations, Shawshank went home empty handed.
Oh.
And Green Mile got four nominations and zero wins.
Oh, those poor incels.
Yeah.
Can't win one.
No, that's why they hate the Oscars.
The Oscars don't reward prison movies enough.
They don't reward comedies and they don't reward prison movies.
I've always yeah
yeah don't get started about escape from alcatraz yeah oscar's so um free and not imprisoned
famous hashtag oscar's so civilian what's the word yeah i mean how many oscars should the rock
have won i'm gonna say all of them. I'm going to say they won none.
I was on a plane the other day and the person next to me was watching Jungle Cruise and the person in front of them was watching Jumanji.
And I just kind of high five The Rock in my head. I was like, look at you go, man. Look at you go.
He really is killing it.
I made a movie The Rock because it's a prison movie.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. he really is killing it i might movie the rock because it's a prison movie oh right yeah yeah
yeah yeah sorry no it's fine i'm just always ready to talk about the rock the man dwayne the rock
johnson yeah is this like the mandela effect and like yes everybody remembers the rock in these
movies like he was for sure in shawshank redemption yeah yeah well again the makeup
department they make it magic you don't even know you have to
that's why you have to stay and watch the credits because you know in his more subtle acting roles
where he doesn't raise the eyebrow you don't recognize him yeah he doesn't do his signature
he doesn't do the signature eyebrow raise all the time but i was glad to see he managed to get it into Moana.
So the animators knew to do that.
They also made his boobs bounce. Probably. He loves to do that.
Him and Terry Cruz get their boobs out.
They just start a bouncing like they can't stop them. Right.
It's wild. Yeah. Make something else bounce, you know? Right. So many things. What else bounce you know right so many things what else
so many things could bounce it's crazy um so danielle won that game but uh i was gonna say
just for the fun of it that uh you know because i'm never gonna play this game again that the
tiebreaker um i was wondering if anybody knew this one uh The tiebreaker was based on a Stephen King novella.
Yeah. That's green mile.
See that.
No, it's Shawshank. Shawshank is the novella and green mile was a serialized.
I don't know why I did this, but yeah, it was like,
like serialized releases.
Oh, is that when the dork award for the game i
think yeah exactly so it okay but if you put all those serialized things together they would have
been a novella but he didn't release it that way uh i mean maybe i don't know what they i don't
think what they all add up to to be a novella i think it has to be shorter than a novel so once he's telling the same story over
four different installments and i think it becomes something else interesting yeah i think i know that
they just say based on a novel when it comes to like green mile being you know because i think
frank darabont was uh nominated for the screenplay for both of that's the one weird thing about it
is the movies are even though they're both in prison they're and they're both period dramas one has like mystical
stuff in it the other one doesn't but they're both strangely to me directed by frank darabont
which is another reason to get them both confused is that they're even made by the same guy i feel
like a stephen king movie not directed by frank darabond in a certain
range of years is the more remarkable thing he did so many yeah and you know it's funny
one of the big holes in my you know especially it's the only stephen king adaptation i probably
haven't seen i never saw the mist i was about to say that's the best one oh my gosh doug what a
treat you know everybody raves about it and
especially there's a lot of focus on how it ends and i still to this day don't know how it ends
and the secret's still there so i just gotta see it i just gotta get it done yeah you're standing
in a really precarious place and i'm glad you still don't know what the ending is but
yeah before something happens i'm gonna watch it before this episode
gets released later tonight because somebody's gonna jump on on my socials and ruin it immediately
oh yeah it's i mean it hits all the stephen king heights it's you got the weird lady the weird
religious stuff the monsters you're gonna have fun sorry didn't mean to take a tangent no that's
cool one thing that kind of always weighs down stephen king adaptations
i feel is that he gives people such improbable weird names that are hard to say and weird for
actors to say not as bad as not as bad as some other no that was a good carrie white
that was the most simple name you picked the perfect one yeah danny torrence isn't too crazy
but he's got some weird ones especially when he any character that's like you know up to something
has a really weird name you know are you are you thinking of cute little baby fire starter
because that was a weird name right why would they call a baby fire starter like
at least wait for it to start some fires yeah it kind of gave the whole thing but i mean that was also the title without the cute little baby part but yeah yeah when
heather locklear's oven mitts catch on fire uh in the first you know incident where they realized
their daughter is a uh a cute little baby fire starter a fire starter i was like trying to think
of a word for fire starter yeah yeah it is it is true very well
it's not good it's not good it's during your partying era yes she was nine yeah
oh my god yeah i met her outside of the uh roxy i think it was like at a sam kinnison show when
she was like you know a teenager it was brutal that's perfect that's a perfect hollywood
story yeah yeah all the elements are there i mean i just like nikki six needs to have high-fived you
and that's about it i was probably also wearing like a long coat, like Sam Kinison wore. It was a sad time, but I got through it. I survived.
And it's time for another break actually.
And then we're going to play our last and more important game of the day
that will determine our winner. And we'll do that right after this.
We'll be right back. We are back. And that's so funny you said that during the break eliza
let's play uh a game that i'm super excited about it's called filmily feud it's like family feud
but i cleverly changed the word family to filmily and i polled people about film sort of film
related uh questions and uh the three of you have to guess what the top
answers are in each question uh we got three rounds so everyone's going to get a chance to go
first and all you got to do is i'll name the options you know this is a kind of a twist on
family feud and that i'll tell you what all the choices are and then you just guess which one got
the highest percentage we'll start with danielle because she all the choices are and then you just guess which one got the highest percentage. We'll start
with Danielle because she won that first
game and then we'll go to Eliza
and then to Noelle.
Can I ask something before we start?
Please. Who are these people you
surveyed? Were they like
civilians or were
they like industry folk?
Well, it's much like
Are they inmates?
Are they inmates?
Were you in Hollywood and Highland with a clipboard?
When you watch Family Feud, you often ask yourself that question.
Who were those people?
Yes.
Because some of the answers get so odd sometimes.
And two people will have said some weird answer.
But I just do it on twitter i just uh you know
use the poll function on twitter and then uh and then you know write down the percentages after i
get over 100 votes uh so we'll start with danielle and the question i wrote is just two words. Best babysitter? Question mark.
And the options are Steve Buscemi, Crispin Glover, Jackie Earl Haley or Boo Radley.
So we have one fictional character.
Right.
And three live actors who have played characters you would never leave with.
Yes.
Speaking of.
Oh, no, that's Con Air, not rock um so okay so steve buscemi jackie earl haley um boo radley and who was who was the second
lover christian lover or i'm just gonna go with my gut and my, no. Now I feel like people are going to say my gut says Steve Buscemi.
OK, that's fair. Eliza, what do you think?
John Turturro. No, I'm kidding. Boo Radley.
I mean, I'm sure he probably would have got some as a write in vote, but I even block it so that people can't respond like i only get the pure data yeah i don't get
people i don't get people adding but what about this guy that's also terrible
exactly i didn't put kevin bacon in because he's he's risen above it he's played a child
molester more than once and he nobody minds he has more than one
yeah there's the woodsman and the guy in footloose and yes yes and actually three times the guy in
in tremors also i just don't show it but you can it's implied i think yeah no those worms are mad
for a reason yeah it's vengeance okay so which one did you pick, Eliza?
Boo Radley.
Okay.
And, Noelle, that leaves for you either Jackie or Hayley or Crispin Glover.
Crispin, I would never leave my child with Crispin Glover.
That seems reasonable.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
The results may shock you.
the results may shock you you all dodged the Jackie Earl Haley bullet
as it were because he only got 8%
of the vote
coming in next was Crispin Glover with 11%
so Noel you're on the board with 11 points.
Eliza's Boo Radley got 17 percent of the vote.
And that leaves a whopping and he seems like a perfectly nice guy.
Maybe that's why they picked him. Maybe he truly would be of those four.
Seems like the best babysitter. You know, he was a firefighter for a while.
Steve Buscemi
got 64 percent wow wait i got confused though so the question was who would you leave your child
with no the question was best babysitter oh totally steve buscemi that'd be awesome
i mean bill radley was a nice guy right he scout hung out Scout hung out. He's just cast badly. I mean, it'd be the best for you
if you decided to meet him.
But in terms of best,
would he truly do a better job
than these other guys?
I don't know.
Boo Rodley would certainly not put
a lot of dumb ideas in their head
because he never says anything.
You know, so he'd be good.
Yeah.
I might see the,
speaking of Broadway,
I might see the To Kill a Mockingbird
With Jeff Daniels
Oh is that back?
That's the Aaron Sorkin one?
Yeah he came back to it
It's the highest grossing play
Without music on Broadway
Ever
In history of Broadway
Wow
Aaron Sorkin directed it or adapted it?
He adapted it
Oh that sounds
he wrote the stage version and he makes the audience wander up and down hallways
okay so um danielle's in the lead but you know it's still anybody's game i've done the math and
it still could work out in anybody's favor.
No way.
She's slaughtering us.
First time murdering two champs. I know.
I'm so nervous.
Two champs going down today.
All right, Eliza.
This is your chance to go first and steal those big points.
The next thing I asked was, best gardener?
That's the whole question.
Best gardener.
And I gave him the options chance to
gardener the constant gardener james garner oh dang i was really hoping there would be a rick
moranis in there um i'm going to go with garfield just because you know that's sort of my tactic
like you fill in the sea on any kind of
standardized test I pick Garfield if he's there okay all right Noel what do you think chance the
gardener from being there played by the great Peter Sellers constant gardener which was uh
Ralph Fiennes I guess right right he was constantly gardening I mean what if
if gardening is your personality you got
a problem that does make it sound like you're good at it yeah you're doing it all the time
because you can't get it right yeah james garner the late great james garner well you know yeah
just like a constant gardener you're gonna overkill the soil you gotta leave the garden
alone and you know chance the gardener got him pretty you got
he got pretty far just knowing like one or two things about gardening so i took chance
you're gonna take a chance on chance i'm totally taking a chance take a chance take a chance take
a chance that song that abba song i was listening to it the other day and they really in the back
of just go take a chance take a chance take a chance
they must say it a million times like that must be the most
exhausting
backup vocal work ever
who's up next
me Danielle
I'm gonna go for Garner
James Garner
James Garner alright that's an excellent choice
isn't it
Chauncey Gardner
or is that the joke
like his name is
Chauncey Gardner
but they think his name
is Chance the Gardner
is that it
yes
did I just make all that up
no
no his name is
Chauncey Gardner
and then they
they think he's
Chance the Gardner
when he shows up
and doesn't know
what's going on
gotcha gotcha
okay
and then everything
he says, everybody
thinks is brilliant.
It's a
banger.
A sad banger.
Something nobody's ever said about that movie.
He likes to watch.
Oh, being there, what a banger.
Okay. Because also,
that's also one of the funny things about
his career is that because he was playing comedic roles for the most part he was like brilliant all
the time but you know didn't really win oscars and then you know finally gets recognized for
being there where again an amazing performance but he barely even moves or speaks uh i mean you could say it's his son of a woman um oh my god who ha all right
here are the results uh you avoided the uh next was Chance the Gardener with 21%.
So Noel gets 21 more points for a total of 32.
And above that was James Gardner with 23% of the vote,
giving Danielle a total of 87.
giving Danielle a total of 87.
And Garfield the cat got 42%. Nice.
My man!
Best gardener.
I've never seen that cat garden at all.
What can he do, though?
You know, you got to assume.
He chews the grass and spits it out,
and that's like his version of...
Not unless you have lasagna grass.
I mean, am I right?
That's a good point.
And it's not a Monday.
Yeah.
I thought Garfield, though, overall was on kind of a downswing.
I didn't know he was still, you know, more popular than all these other gardeners.
He's never going to lose, you know.
Yeah.
All right. Chris Pratt's bringing him back So
I don't even
So this next Garfield's going to be
Everybody's animated or is it going to be the same
Thing again where just Garfield's animated
No idea
I think maybe it might be all animated
this next time.
Who knows? I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know what Breckenmire
is up to, but he might be available.
Alright, so
I think it's a close
game. Noelle might not
agree, but I think...
No, this is how it was the last game
with me. I pulled up at the very end so uh-oh
okay all right sounds exciting yeah you know there's no negative points so there's so uh you
know everybody wins um let's start now with uh oh and noelle gets to go first this round. You're in the catbird seat.
My third question I put out to the nice folks was,
best car washer.
Best car washer.
And the options I gave them were Edward Scissorhands,
Eraserhead,
The Goonies
or Al Pacino
oh my god
oh my god
what was the last one?
Al Pacino
so best
of all
those groups and people
who
one of them I identify as they
but out of all of these who uh who is the best
who's the best car washer who was the second one again eraser head david lynch's eraser you know
as much here i'm just gonna walk you through my thought process okay i love it my gut says eraser head just he just in his name alone he seems like he
could get things clean even though i'm not sure like skill set wise uh goonies you know a bunch
of kids washing your car could could be great and efficient could make it worse and al pacino
washing your car i mean that would just be amazing and did just see, I just went to the premiere of House of Gucci,
and he still has it.
He's got it.
He was dancing.
He put on a show, I think, but I would have to go.
I think I'm going to go with Eraserhead.
Sort of a magic Eraserhead?
Magic Eraserhead, yes.
We'll take the paint right off your car, though.
Oh.
I'm just stuck on the Al Pacino dancing part.
Like, was it delightful or cringy or a combo?
Was it a TikTok dance or freestyle?
It was more just like, it almost felt like he didn't know where he was,
but was really just enjoying life.
No, in the best way possible.
Kind of like he's on a different plane
and where he's at, he's having a good time.
Where am I?
Confused and happy about it.
Oh my God.
All right.
Well, good for Al.
Al Pacino is your...
No, no.
You picked your head. I picked No, no I just wanted
I hadn't really gotten to, you know
Put in my two cents throughout this show
So I just wanted to
Spice up my answer
I do love it
Anytime there's a show business story
Behind an answer, I love it
But it's not, you know
It's not required
Okay, so, Danielle You get to choose and answer i love it uh but it's not you know it's not required okay so danielle uh you you get
to choose who's the best car washer edward scissorhands the goodies or el pacino all right
my thought process is that i don't think your followers necessarily buy the truckload know Eraserhead.
It might just be a little too old for them.
I know it's like, you know, a cult classic and all.
So I'm going to say Al Pacino.
Good, because Noelle already took Eraserhead.
Right.
I was just... That worked out perfectly.
I thought you guys should know my thought process.
Yeah, everybody has to explain.
Sorry.
Here's why I wouldn't pick that one that I can't be picking.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
But that was, I mean, I threw in Edward Scissorhands because I honestly thought, you know, and I'm not trying to give away the results here.
But I just thought, you know, this is a beloved character.
The same with the Goonies.
Like, I just feel like sometimes things are so beloved
that people throw aside their logic
and they just pick the thing they love the most.
And so now I'm realizing that's probably why Garfield won
and also probably true of Steve Buscemi as well.
He's very lovable.
But we've only got two options for eliza
and they are edward scissorhands or the goonies um well i am going to pick um i feel like with
edward scissorhands you know obviously there the, he has scissors for hands issue. Right.
And so obviously we're all thinking like they would rest up.
That wouldn't be good. He, how clean can he get a car?
When his hands are all rusty.
And the Goonies fun Hollywood insider fact there was,
there's a scene that's been cut from the Goonies where they're all,
where they all wash a car together. And when they did it,
Spielberg would not show them the car until actually shooting that scene so that they would
get like that surprised about the car and like you could see the real like emotion from them
so it seems to me that they have some experience with washing cars so i'm picking them
all right
that was an exciting answer from an exciting player So I'm picking them. All right.
That was an exciting answer from an exciting player.
Trying to give you that Hollywood insider, you know?
I love it.
I'm tallying up the numbers.
Wow.
This is exciting. So close. Edward Scissorhands, you all figured that one out, 14%. Strangely, quite strangely, even less for Eraserhead.
No!
At 13%. Oh, no! no it's at 13 oh no i don't know why i mean the name recognition issue probably is the deal there
but i also feel like if you want something clean that someone knows eraser is in there
where their head is an eraser seems like that would be a good way to go those those uh mr clean
eraser sponge things are great um all right so i'm sorry noelle but
thank you for being here today thank you for having me and we'll do some we'll do your plugs
in a second um coming in next was our our everybody's friend the dancing fool al pacino with 32 of the vote that brings danielle to a total of 119 points
my math is correct and then the goonies was number one as best car washer i would think
chunk would like you know his sponge would be like white bread with some nutella on it. But they went 41% in on the Goonies washing their car.
Maybe they just want to see the truffle shuffle in person.
But that guy's a thin adult now.
Imagine all of Data's gadgets for car washing.
Come on.
I mean, there's lots of reasons to argue in favor,
especially when the competition was an old man and a guy with scissors for hands. for car washing come on i mean there's lots of reasons to argue in favor especially
when the competition was an old man a guy with
and whatever the hell the racer had supposed to be but eliza only managed to get up to an impressive
but still not enough 100 points so danielle is our winner today wow Wow. Congratulations to Danielle Koenig. You get to return on the show as soon
as we can possibly work it out scheduling wise. And you also get to go first with your
plugs today. What would you like to plug? Well, first of all, thank you for having me on. This
was a blast. It was my first time and it was it was great. It was great to meet you ladies.
And I just would like to plug my podcast,
How to Survive with Danielle and Christine.
It's, like I said, the focus is comedy,
but you may also learn a thing or two.
But it's available wherever you can get podcasts.
And it's safe for me to assume that you can't be in new york this sunday next sunday rather i cannot
be in new york this sunday no yeah i didn't think you'd be able to make it you've got to show your
child more horrible movies that are age inappropriate uh but we will have you back on uh
on zoom or otherwise one way or another sometime very soon as a uh as an ongoing champion you did it
but we have to also uh let these other players have their say it's not all about you danielle
i know eliza skinner what would you like to plug my album regarding my lovers it's what a great
christmas gift you know if you like me or comedy uh that that's a great gift for you if you if you
don't like women um or or female comedians what a great gag gift right give it to your uncle
he'll love hating it um yeah it's's called Regarding My Lovers on a Special Thing Records.
Yeah, go ahead and pick up Hannah Gadsby while you're at it.
You know, just a bunch of lady comics and put them in a nice bow.
And it's a perfect Christmas or holiday, I should say, because I don't know about you, but I'm waging a war on Christmas.
So I call it I call it Holiday Day.
So vicious.
Now I have to change the name of my 12 Guests of Christmas show
now that I've made this bold move to calling it Holiday Day.
12 Guests of the War on Christmas.
Right?
Noelle Wells.
Hi.
I don't have anything new to plug so maybe you can watch the show the
animated show that just finished its second season star trek lore decks it's on paramount plus
and uh i have an album it's called it's so nice but it came out a couple years ago but you can
still buy it i'll ship it to you i hand package package it. I put stickers in it. It's always very fun.
I have like 10 in my, I have 10 that I'm dropping off the post office tomorrow.
So make me do more work, please.
Yeah. Get on it. This'll, uh, you know, this'll come out later this evening.
So, uh, people should be hearing this in time to, to make,
make it into your next batch.
Get into her next order.
You'll have it in, what do you think, by Thanksgiving?
No, you'll have it right after Thanksgiving.
You'll have it by right after Thanksgiving.
Whatever that is.
Yeah.
It'll arrive on Black Friday, I'm sure, because all the packages, they all arrive on that day, right?
Yes.
That's how that works.
I don't get involved.
Thank you to all of you.
I have got one big plug.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.
That's right.
The 12 guests of Christmas after, you know, a break from last year as back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City.
Please bring some Christmassy or holiday day style donuts or any kind of donuts because we haven't thrown some donuts into the crowd for a while.
And that was always fun to do.
Be fun to bring that back.
That's this Sunday at 8 o'clock.
12 amazing guests on stage
But thank you again to all of my guests
And as always
I hope to see my friend and shake his hand
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams
I hope
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie I hope.