Doug Loves Movies - Danny Jolles and Chad Opitz guest
Episode Date: February 21, 2022Live from the Punch Line Comedy Club in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Danny Jolles and Chad Opitz to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free ...month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies!
Wow, there's a little extra singing going on in that version.
That was nice.
Coming to you once again from one of my favorite clubs to do this thing,
the Punchline in Sacramento, California!
The prize bag is a backpack that says,
Fugitive, only on Quibi.
So Quibi may be done, but this backpack can go home with somebody for the rest of their life,
and they can always look back and try to remember what Quibi was.
And then there's lots of other stuff including
a um a bachelor uh calendar from 2021 so it's
if you want to relive 2021 through uh that bachelor uh uh what was the black bachelor's name matt um uh that's in here and uh lots other
stuff that i uh recorded a video of all of it on my um instagram if you want to go look and see
what's up for grabs because it's it's not that much fun to talk about
on the podcast just a bunch of silly crap.
But now it's time for everybody's favorite part of this show.
Doug plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is coming to Miami, Florida in April,
Rosemont, Illinois in May, and more.
I'm doing like one or two live ones in front of an audience a month. And for all my dates and deets, visit Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah.
Woo-hoo.
Wall-e.
Shh.
Can I dance?
I ain't got to tell you, that was two for two for Sacramento.
I gotta tell you, that's two for two for Sacramento. Great job, sack punch, because you know, since pandemic, the shows, the audience is a little shaky on both of those.
I'm like, this is Douglas Reese. They're like, hi, Doug.
So thank you for being awesome and for being here and let's get my guests out here
as you can see we have two chairs because this is going to be an intense competition today
that's not why
i just thought it'd be fun to do a two guest show and they are And they are two great guests. Please welcome them, Chad Obitz and Danny Jollis.
I'm doing that in my stand-up more now,
where when I hit the stage, I'll just start going like this.
Because everyone will just start clapping more,
and they sound like they're more excited,
even though you're just gesturing for them to do that.
Let's meet these gentlemen individually,
but not alphabetically.
Yeah, that's right.
All the way over there on the left,
Chad Opitz is here, everybody.
Hello.
It says here that you're a Bay Area comedy phenom.
Yes, you've said that many times in during Sweetie, Doug.
And that you do a mean somersault.
I do.
So maybe at some point during the show, we'll bust that out.
Anything can happen.
The Punchline in Sacramento and the Punchline in San Francisco have probably the only two
stages in the world that are perfect for Chad Opitz to do somersaults on.
It's almost like they built him for that.
Yeah.
Because the stage is just high enough that you can just roll onto it.
Yep.
Yeah.
I will say, I've done a show with you before, and you did do a somersault in that show.
I did.
I do remember that.
What was that?
Did I do it on the grass, I think?
It was a grass one.
Yeah.
If there's grass, I'm doing it.
Right?
It was a great somersault.
You don't worry about stains?
Nah.
Come on.
I'm living life dangerously, dude.
I mean, a man's got a somersault.
Yeah, man.
I was just watching a dating show back in the green room
from the 2010s called Baggage.
Yeah, you're right.
That was the proper reaction.
Yeah, it's a silly show with Jerry Springer.
Yeah, but somebody just said show with Jerry Springer.
Yeah, but somebody just said something that reminded me of it,
and I can't remember.
Now I have no idea why.
Oh, I do know, I do know.
You mostly somersault on the weekends or during the week?
What?
Because there's this guy in this show, Baggage. You have to say what your baggage is, why you'd be somebody that no one wants to date.
And his baggage was that he only can date on weeknights.
He can't go out on weekends.
And the reason why is because he parkours on weekends with his buddies.
And so he doesn't have time for fucking dating.
That's true.
And I feel like you'd fit in with him and his crowd
with your somersaults.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't think there's enough somersaults in parkour.
I should put that in my dating bio.
Yeah, I'd be like, nah, you gotta do weeknights
because on the weekends I'm somersaulting.
What about summer?
Somersault summer.
Good old winter salt.
I like it.
Also joining us
today,
you may have
seen him on television. Oh, boy.
Stephen Colbert show. Are you kidding?
It's a fantastic credit.
Thank you so much. Yeah, and
I don't know about your somersaulting
skills. It's not good. Okay, so
let's not even get into it.
Danny Jollis.
Yeah.
See?
That's joke stealing.
It's fucking gold.
That is gold.
I'm going to do that more.
Because I even said your name.
I just said it.
I didn't really give it that, like, everybody applaud now sound.
But then we did the hands.
I said to myself.
It worked.
I knew it would.
I had nothing but confidence.
I'm going to do it at every show I do from now on.
I feel very confident in it.
And everyone's going to say, Doug started that.
I'm going to say, no, he didn't.
He stole that from me.
And that'll be our feud.
I stole it from another guy, actually.
Yeah.
I saw another guy do it recently, and I was like, that is genius.
Because he just went up on stage and just started going like this.
So the crowd just started going more crazy.
But then you saw that.
It sounds like he's the best comic ever.
But you saw that, though, and you said, hey, let me make this my own.
And then you went up here.
And that's smarter.
Right?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
No, he'd do it like he's the guy who comes out and does that.
Like he doesn't have comedy to follow it up.
To me, this is more silly, and then I do some jokes.
But let me ask you this, Danny.
Yeah.
You're working here all weekend on the show with, it's a two-man show, you and Sam Murill,
who's a frequent guest on this show.
Sam Murill, incredible comic.
Very funny.
And so two shows tonight.
Two shows tonight.
One tomorrow night.
Two shows tomorrow night.
What?
The man sells tickets.
Oh, he sure do.
He sells tickets.
Yeah.
He's so funny.
I was already kind of wondering why he had a Sunday show, but now that makes sense because
he's going to sell it.
Because Monday's a holiday.
I know.
Monday's President's Day.
Don't forget to get a mattress.
Go right out here to Mattress Firm.
The mattress store that will only have two or three customers at most.
Probably in the same family. families come down and just lay
on the mattresses it really is one-stop shopping this mall i talk about it all the time because
it's it's got the greatest name because the mall's called how about arden because it's on the corner
of how and arden how about about Arden? Yeah, right?
And they went with that for years and it never took off.
I was the only person who enjoyed it.
And then recently they're like,
hashtag HBA.
So now it's just called HBA,
which is the opposite of fun.
How about Arden was so corny,
but then they just used the initials from it
and then nobody ever discussed it.
To go further down the rabbit hole, tough.
That's tough to hear.
It's brutal.
That mattress store is taking up a lot of real estate here.
It really is.
It's big.
The second floor of this building is the punchline and a mattress store.
The mattress store could seat 300, I would say.
Yeah.
It's a 300-seater.
But every time I play this club, I'm like, damn, good for cupcake craving.
I don't know how you still exist.
I don't know what kind of front you're running.
No one ever goes in.
No one ever comes out.
It's just a bunch of Oompa Loompas in there making cupcakes.
Well, before we get to the...
Thanks for being here, guys.
Before we get to the game portion of the show,
a thing I've been doing lately
is asking for movie recommendations
from my guests.
Or for my guests.
Which movies would you guys like to recommend
for yourselves to see?
No, which movie...
We'll start with Chad Opitz.
Please recommend one movie, Chad.
It could be any,
not even something I've seen recently.
It could be any,
it's just basically recommending a movie.
It's a tough question because
it's a lot of pressure.
It is a lot of pressure.
I'm going to go with a very...
What if somebody watches it and hates it?
They're going to be mad at you.
And they probably will.
Because this is the 1988 cult classic starring peter weller
and sam elliott called shakedown yeah and the tagline is whatever you do don't call the cops
police corruption got a team up of robocop and fucking dalton from roadhouse come on
i mean that's one way to describe him He's been in a lot of movies Holy shit
It's a great film
Shakedown
I think I did see and like that movie
What is it like 80s?
88
Sam Elliott's the one in 1883
What's that?
Anybody? 1883? Is that Sam Elliott?
Is anybody watching 1883?
Yeah he's so good in 1887.
So good.
Isn't he from Sacramento?
1883, I think.
Is Sam Elliott from Sacramento?
What a terrible name for a show.
Just some old year.
You know, they have to say a prequel story to Yellowstone.
They have to mention that right after saying 1833,
because 1833 doesn't mean shit.
Did I say it right that time?
Yes.
Oh, damn it.
Well, it's a great show.
I hear it's great.
I don't like Westerns.
Well, then you won't love it, because I'll tell you,
Sam Elliott's voice is gone.
And he is a, he is.
It is?
I mean, he's just like, every line every line i mean i'm a bad impressionist
but if i were to do a simile right now every line is like well you never know what they're
gonna get around to get this well you're just doing sling blade that's just sling blade no no
he's slim it's like it's that was billy moore words maybe the words are having a hard time
getting past his mustache i'm telling literally just a sling blade.
It's a real word blocker, that mustache.
Every line he gives.
He's like trying to get it out the side.
He's like,
I only chill for pre-chewed beef
now.
Sam, you've got a milk mustache.
It's my mustache.
Always looks like a milk mustache. It's my mustache. Always looks like a milk mustache.
You're careful with that milk.
You get too much milk in your mustache.
You know, get around a good 2%.
See, now I got to watch this show.
It sounds great.
Yeah, and he has to like shout orders
to all the other people out on the prairie.
So it's just a lot of round up the wagon.
That's TV.
We're not here to talk about TV.
Doug hates TV.
I hate TV.
I've been meaning to start a podcast, Doug hates TV.
Doug hates TV.
But, you know, TV is where you can see
a lot of movies so I gotta
give in to the TV
and they're making movies that seem like
series and series that seem like movies
and then the ads you don't know the
difference like when you look at the posters like
is this a movie is this a series
is this a limited series
fucking the new Kanye
West movie on Netflix?
They're calling it a series
of three 90-minute movies.
Fuck off!
That's not a series. That's just
an abomination.
He made a Lord of the Rings.
Why don't you just make a two-hour documentary
about yourselves? There's no way
that it should be three hours.
Or, you know,
however long
90 minutes three times is.
I'm not here to do math. I'm not here to talk about TV.
Danny,
please recommend a movie.
Well,
I will say that
I went to do it because a friend was in it but i will say the
new scream i think is so good and i really think everybody should go see it because i really think
like it is one of the few franchise like revivals that i've seen in a while where i've been like
yeah that's how you do it that's it i don't know if anybody here has seen it. Not a big pop from the crowd, but I stand by it.
I'm getting bigger and bigger with it.
But yeah, no, it's great.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys are my table.
This table over here is like the only people watching things that are good.
People.
Oh, well, this lady wants to have a chat with you about this. I will. here is like the only people watching things that are good. People, oh.
Whoa, this lady wants to have a chat with you about this. I will.
I'll have a chat with you all day.
A love letter to Wes Craven. Wes Craven
was awesome and
this all sounds great because I
have been
when horror movies
come out
people will, there's a certain faction that will rave about them even when they're shitty horror movies come out, people will,
there's a certain faction that will rave about them,
even when they're shitty horror movies.
It's the one genre where like,
if someone loves that genre,
their favorite movies in that genre are probably stuff I don't want to see.
You know what I mean?
It's a tricky genre.
And like,
people have been saying that they stuck the landing
and that they made that they made a
good reboot of scream so i am gonna watch it but i've just been like just hearing that people think
it's good isn't enough for me for a horror movie because i got especially during the pandemic
i must have watched i must have slept through 30 horror movies
you know we turn on a horror movie on uh you, you know, on Netflix or, you know,
on streaming of some kind. And then, uh, you know, the description will say slow burn,
right? Yeah. She made that noise again. And, uh,
that's the sound of a slow burn.
Uh, you know, and I, you know, and it's always like like it's felt like every other movie in the pandemic was
two or three actors you know because it's easier to shoot with under the pandemic guidelines or
whatever the safety guidelines but uh and then also just one location so every other movie that
came out during that year was uh you know two or three people go to
a place shit starts to happen there how quickly it starts to happen varies sometimes it could be
the whole movie and nothing ever happens the slowest of burns um i did a movie that took
place in one house the entire time yeah let. Let me tell you, you became aware as an audience member at a certain point that we never left
that house,
but I did an entire movie in one location.
It is such a,
it is brutal.
What's it called?
Blowing up right now on Amazon prime.
Sweet little movie,
a little rom-com.
If you like rom-coms right down the middle and
you're expecting a big twist
or anything like that
don't worry about it
but
if you want all the beats
of a rom-com
with my stupid face
then I do recommend it
and
but it's all in one house
we filmed it in one house
in like two weeks
blowing up right now
oh
oh
everyone in this room
thought you were
just bragging about
how it's doing
wow
no that's a hilarious title no this room thought you were just bragging about how it's doing. Wow.
That's a hilarious title.
Nobody saw it, to be clear. Holy shit.
Yeah, because when you say the title
everyone's like, well, he never told us what it was.
Yeah.
In retrospect.
This is some strange marketing he's employing.
It's the biggest movie of all time.
I'll tell you a few more things about it,
but let's not worry about titles.
Let's not label this.
Oh.
How many other characters are in this one house?
So there's people who visit the house.
There's visitors, but it's me and the girl just run around this house.
And then we have a couple of visitors throughout.
And then we do a, it's a tight little movie.
Who's the actress that plays?
Sujata Day, who has a movie called Definition Please on Netflix.
Oh, I hear that's blowing up.
Right now.
Right now. now yeah yeah it's blowing up right now so in the movie what's that a ref what's that title a reference to just things are happening yeah yeah yeah
shit's popping off was an alternate title you couldn't use yeah
you know things are not
going great, if you can believe it, and
things continue to escalate in a
funny rom-com way.
Well, alright.
But Scream is the one I recommend.
I just want to go back to that. I did not
recommend my own movie. I was pushed into this hole.
Alright, so I'm going to recommend a movie
because since there's only two guests,
I like to have three titles to throw on my Twitter account,
the I Love Movies.
Doug Loves Movies Twitter account.
That was the old school title for the show back 15 years ago.
All right.
So Chad recommended Shakedown.
I'm trying to be strategic about my recommendation today because I like to win.
There's a lot of steak here.
Yeah.
It's so high stakes, as is everything I do, because I love being high and eating steaks.
I wish I didn't spend most of the day
so nervous about losing this game
and being humiliated on this stage.
I'm so nervous about it.
Isn't that weird?
Because it's so silly.
Just have fun with it.
I was like, this podcast is going to be forever
of me being an idiot.
And then I said, blowing up right now,
and I wasn't clear.
All right, so my recommendation,
since we've got a horror movie and a shakedown movie,
I don't even know what genre to put it in.
Action.
I'm going to go with a musical.
Yes.
Called Tick, Tick, Boom.
Have you seen it?
That hand raising to get him to clap almost didn't work.
Because I asked a question where the answer for a lot of the people is no.
So then why would they follow it up with some applause?
But I'm going Tick, Tick, Boom. I'll see how it does against Scream and Shaked with some applause? But I'm going tick, tick, boom.
I'll see how it does against Scream and Shakedown.
Not well, I'm going to assume.
But it's just a terrific musical.
I think Andrew Garfield should win
Best Actor for his performance
in it. But it's, you know,
it's a love letter
to Jonathan
Larson and musicals.
And so, I think you have to be into those things to love it,
but give it a try.
It's a good movie.
And thank you, both of you guys,
for visiting Recommendation Nation.
You know what?
That applause, I got to tell the listeners,
that one just happened.
We didn't do anything.
We're just sitting here.
You know what?
Tick, tick, boom sounds
like a prequel to Blowing Up
Right Now. Right.
I mean, tick, tick, boom is one of the most obnoxious
titles when it comes to
lowercase letters and
punctuation. There's way too
much going on. Is there like dot dot dot
something? Yes. Yeah, it's got an ellipsis
in there. It's just silly.
But a terrific movie.
Okay.
So, let's go to
a break. And while we're in
the break, we'll pick some name tags and we come
back, we'll play some games. We'll be right back.
Woo! We're in the break. We'll pick some name tags, and when we come back, we'll play some games. We'll be right back.
We're back!
We had a lot of fun picking name tags,
and Chad ended up with one that I actually posted on my socials. It's a gentleman who I assume is named Andy.
Dropped the C off a candy man and went with Andy man.
Great job, Chad.
I will say, great job, Chad.
Great job, Chad.
That guy made a name tag.
And you did a great job.
It took me a while.
And then over here, Danny is going to play for,
this is her full name, Kiana Edge of Tomorrow.
Never dies.
Never dies.
Oh, yeah.
I guess I should have said all of it.
Or I could repeat it.
Yes.
Or die.
Or live.
All right.
Did I mention that we're back?
Yes, I did.
Did I mention that we're back?
Yes, I did.
The first game we're going to play today,
it's blowing up all over the place. Woo!
Because it's called Who Has My Pig?
Nicholas Cage made a terrific movie that got no Oscar recognition.
Shameful.
It's called Pig.
He plays a man who's looking for his pig.
In this game, I will play Nicolas Cage and I will
harass a celebrity
about whether or not
they have my pig
and you gentlemen
guess
until somebody gets it
what celebrity Nicolas Cage
is accusing of having
his pig.
Hell yeah.
What a straightforward easy game.
Yeah.
There will be clues
in what he's saying.
Okay.
It's not just going to be
this cage ranting
and you just guess celebrities
until you get lucky.
Yeah.
I guess the whole time
you're just like,
you piece of shit,
where's my pig?
Mel Brooks?
Hey, what?
All right, here we go.
Here's round one.
Do you have my pig?
Your name means to give thanks.
I sure would think
that if you gave me back my pig,
then your name would be appropriate for me.
Much better than Michi.
If you have my pig,
I'm going to be euphoria-ic.
Zendaya.
Zendaya is correct.
Zendaya is Michi.
Oh, man.
What a journey.
Or Zendaya.
Thank you very much.
Zendaya, Zendaya, you very much Zendaya Zendaya
Let's call the whole thing off
What am I
I do love the idea
Of Zendaya
Stealing Nicolas Cage's pig
That would be amazing
You say Zendaya
I say Zendaya
Zendaya
Zendaya
Fuck you
Suck it
I feel like I lost track
Of the words.
Is that from Tick, Tick, Boom?
Yeah, I should say that I like that musical
because all the songs could have been written by me.
They're really terrible.
All right, so who ended up saying that first, Danny?
Danny's on the board.
Danny's got one point.
It is so heartbreaking on the stage seeing people whisper to each other when you're not even close uh don't look at them everyone in the
audience is better at these games than the people on stage not it not everybody i take it back
but a lot of you are.
Like every time I pull an audience member up to play against my comedy friends,
they don't do very well.
The audience members,
they tend to be shyer and less funny,
but they are better at the games.
Because they actually listen to the show.
Most of my guests never listen to it.
I don't listen to it.
All right, here we go.
Do you have my pig?
Is my pig frozen?
Or is he in a good place?
Ted Danson?
Kristen Bell?
That is correct!
Kristen Bell!
Hell yeah.
This is quite a mystery, Veronica.
Or should I call you
the woman in the house
at the window by the street?
Anyway.
I would have gotten it by there, for sure.
So who got it that time?
Danny again.
Danny again?
Yeah.
It's crushing.
Oh, because, yeah.
Because Chad went Ted Danson.
Don't know what the hell I was thinking.
Yeah.
That's just going to happen.
That's what's going to happen.
Frozen really, really teed it up.
Yeah, right?
First clue doesn't give it away
but you know
gets you in the neighborhood
usually
we'll see about
how this next one goes
how many do I have to win
to win
um
first person to 40
okay
you're at two
and I mean
I mean age
we're gonna play
until both of you
are 40
woo hoo
do you have my pig?
You're my favorite Spider-Man.
Andrew Garfield.
Even though you don't seem Dutch.
Tobey Maguire?
All right, so then Tom Holland.
Tom Holland is correct!
I love that they're just like,
come on, the only other option.
Well, there's a third.
Do you think everyone with the name Holland is Dutch,
or that's just...
Oh, that's where Dutch was coming from.
I got it now.
Dutch did nothing, but I was like...
Me neither, yeah. And I was thinking of 1883, so I was like, Dutch is the name, I believe it now. Dutch did nothing. Me neither.
And I was thinking of 1883, so I was like,
Dutch is the name, I believe, of one of the characters
in that show. I was like, I heard that.
Dutch. And so I was thinking about that, but I was like,
well, he's not in Spider-Man.
Yeah, I mean, it was narrowed down immediately
to three people, right?
Three Spider-Mans? Or I guess you could do Into the
Spider-Verse, The guy who played Miles
would count, I guess.
But anyway.
Sadly, I don't know his name.
Alright.
I'm just going to do one more.
And the audience knows
what that means.
But my guests on stage do not.
Here we go.
Let's see who gets this first.
Do you have my pig, Penelope Cruz?
Penelope Cruz?
That is correct.
I was going to say Salma Hayek.
Fuck.
That's racist.
That is my favorite part of that game.
Every time the last one is just the person, I just say the person's name.
And watching the guest take a beat like,
is that a clue?
Why is he calling her Penelope Cruz?
It must be Penelope Cruz.
I know.
That must be the answer.
I was so terrified that there was a biopic
about Penelope Cruz that I hadn't heard of.
But there wasn't.
It was just Penelope Cruz.
And that's a recap of what just happened.
And that was me.
Did you
know what you win
for winning that game, Danny? I sure don't.
You get to go first in our next game.
Oh. Right.
Which might not even be beneficial.
It still feels good.
I think it's going to work out. Let's play
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
First time I ever played this game was right here
in Sacramento. It's something I just said
that I cannot confirm.
I will... I just said that I cannot confirm. I will...
I just... I was like
in a lie, so why lie?
It might have been
created here. I don't know. I don't know which games
were created here, but I've been here a lot of times
under this weird
dusk moon.
Right? Because
there's a sunset going on, so that's not the sun.
It's just a moon.
These light up, turn to little stars.
Yeah, little stars.
It's beautiful.
It's one of the most beautiful backdrops.
And if either of us fall back in our chair, we will ruin it.
So be careful, everybody.
A lot of responsibility up here.
With great responsibility comes great Dutchness.
All right, so I'll read a tagline from a motion picture.
Some motion pictures have several.
Some motion pictures have terrible taglines that are poorly written.
A lot of them do.
But I'll say the tagline from the poster from whatever that I gather from IMDB,
and then, Danny, you get to go first.
I'll say the tagline to you.
You get one guess.
Just Danny, nobody else.
If he misses it, Chad gets a guess.
Nobody else.
If he misses it, we gets a guess. Nobody else. If he misses it, we go,
we start with that gentleman over there
and work our way around the entire
room.
And when an audience member gets it right, they
replace someone on stage.
It's like a fucking reality show now.
Baggage.
Yeah.
Alright, so It's like a fucking reality show now. Baggage. Yeah. All right.
So here's the first tagline.
Ooh, also, I got to tell Danny this.
Oh, I don't have to tell Danny this, because he listens to the show.
I'll tell Chad.
Ooh, Chad.
Chad.
Good God.
A theme is at play in all of these taglines.
A theme is at play in all of these taglines.
So once you figure that out, then you're really off and running.
I mean, it's a tough game, so don't beat yourself up if you don't have the answer.
Danny, what movie had the tagline, An offer you can't refuse?
Really? I can't refuse. Really?
I don't know.
Well.
Don't make Danny feel bad.
With your
snickering and your muttering.
It does feel as if
this could be an embarrassing
guess,
but it seems so obvious
that I'm just going to say it.
Is it The Godfather?
That is correct.
Okay.
It just seems so obvious
that I was like,
it can't be that.
Yeah, I was shocked that you weren't like, weren't acting like you knew exactly what it was.
Yeah.
It could have been a trick.
It could have been a trick.
But also, I try to pause.
I think that's also a key to this game.
Take a second.
Bravo.
Thank you.
If he didn't get it, I was going to say indecent proposal.
Ooh, that would have been a good guess.
That's not it, though.
I mean, that's a better offer than the one in The Godfather.
I know! That's what I was
thinking.
That there's any drama in a movie where a guy
just wants to have sex with a lady for a million dollars
and her boyfriend's mad
about it. He's just like, come on,
suck it up, It's a mill.
Get over it, Woody Harrelson.
Robert Redford's handsomer than me.
Maybe that's why he was upset.
All right, so Danny, you're on the board.
You got one.
Chad gets to go first in this next one.
Chad, what movie do you think
had the tagline
murderers come
with smiles?
Murderers
come with smiles?
Why would anyone be like, oh, I want to see that.
Murderers
come with
smiles.
I hope they bring something else like, you know, some flowers or candy. Murderers come with smiles. I hope they bring something else, like, you know, some flowers or candy.
Murderers come with smiles.
Baby geniuses.
No.
No idea.
No audience guesses, please. Danny. Are you a real guest? Yeah, I don't know. No idea. No audience guesses, please.
Danny.
Are you a real guest?
Yeah, I don't know.
All right, I mean, this is wrong,
but I'm just going to start narrowing it down a little bit.
Well, wait, you said there's a theme.
Oh.
Joe confirmation back there.
Yup.
It didn't feel like the nicest yup.
He did say that.
As heckles go go it was very pleasant
it was pleasant but it also had a real feel
of like we covered this idiot
knew one thing
the guy's in a hurry to go buy a
mattress
with that said I don't really know what to
do with the theme but I'm just going to knock it out.
I'm just going to say it out of the gate.
Oh, okay.
The first one or the second one?
First one?
Because it's neither.
Oh.
But that made me feel good and thank you for doing that.
That's fine.
That's fine.
This one was stupid.
Like, it fits the theme, but I was just like,
I can't even understand why this would be the tagline for this movie.
Supposedly, that was one of the taglines for Goodfellas.
Murderers come with smiles?
Not a lot of smiling in that movie.
Well, Pesci seems happy most of the time.
I'm pretty sure he specifically doesn't like being a clown.
That is true.
That is a good point.
All right, so nobody got a point on that one.
All right, I almost gave you the point, Danny,
just because that was so funny.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, all right, but Danny's up first this time, right?
Yeah.
No, wait, Chad's up first again.
I apologize to everyone concerned.
You're doing so good.
Chad?
Yes?
What movie had the tagline,
All the power on Earth can't change destiny?
All the power on Earth can't change destiny.
Yeah, I guess I probably read into that too dramatically.
All the power on earth can't change destiny.
Okay, so we got...
That's how it should be read.
All the power on earth...
There we go.
Cannot change destiny.
Cannot change destiny.
Okay, the first one was Godfather.
The second one was Goodfellas.
Yup.
All the power.
This one is Godfellas.
I don't know.
All the power on earth.
Cannot change destiny?
What the fuck?
Someone just came to a realization.
Is it Kundun?
Someone just came to a realization. Is it Kundun?
Spelled K-U-N-D-U-N.
Yeah.
Some Scorsese 1997 film.
Are you out of your mind?
I'm very smart in very stupid ways.
All right, well, Kundun is not the answer.
Nah.
I've got no idea.
Danny, would you like to hear it again?
Yeah.
All the power on earth can't change destiny.
She is about a lady named Destiny, and she refuses to change.
Look at how powerful you are.
Yeah.
All the movies.
So it's going to be wrong,
but I'm going to just say a Pacino movie
to say a Pacino movie,
because I think that's the trend.
And even though my instinct says...
Hey, real quick,
just to remind you,
Pacino's not in Goodfellas.
Woo, Danny!
I mean, I didn't want him to...
The theme could still be Pacino,
like movies I wish Pacino was in.
Yeah.
Because that movie definitely needs somebody
to walk in and go,
ha, ha, ha!
Over the top, that's me!
In that case,
we're going to change our answer to
The Many Saints of Newark.
Oh, that is a great guess.
Thank you.
That is a terrific guess.
Doesn't feel right.
It fits the theme, but you know what fits the theme even better?
The Godfather Part 2.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
This next one is one of the bleakest taglines I've ever seen or read.
And Chad goes first again.
Time changes nothing.
That's what's trying to get you to come see a motion picture,
are the words, time changes nothing.
Back to the future.
I guess that's their way of saying when you come out of the movie,
you won't have missed anything.
Everything will be the same.
That's your guess?
No.
I'm going to say Godfather 3.
Godfather Part 3.
I thought you wouldn't fall for that sort of
trickery
time changes nothing
what is it
incorrect
Scorsese
Danny
absolutely what I was going to go with
glad I could
glad you ran into that one
so much salted you went into that one so much salt
did you weigh right into it so then
um
oh boy
oh boy oh boy I mean
I don't know
there's no sequel to that
that's time changing
you could do Saints of Newark again
I know but I don't think it is Saints of Newark
so I'm gonna go
even though I don't know
why this tagline would make any sense for this movie,
it fits the trend.
I'm going to go with Casino.
Yeah, that is a terrific guess again.
You're a great guesser.
But you'd be a winner
if you said The Irishman.
Oh.
And they have to say Time Changes Nothing
because that fucking movie is way too
long yeah that's that's the length of three Kanye I guess time changes nothing if you can afford to
do special effects that make you look young again Bobby D and Joey Pesh I hated that movie I mean
those blue eyes those fake blue eyes they put on De Niro were startling.
Those who have seen it, no.
Yeah.
Those who have seen it.
Those who have seen it, no.
Blue eyes.
They know that time changes nothing.
Yeah.
Time changes nothing, and we were about five years away from the technology to make that thing look great.
But with that said, I enjoyed it.
I really did.
A subtle peshy, you never get that.
Let's do another round.
Okay, great.
Oh, apparently you haven't seen Goin' Fishin'.
Oh, yeah.
Gone Fishin', thank you.
Or Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag.
We've seen Eight Heads in a Duffel bag. Just eight heads in a duffel bag.
Here's the next one.
Chad's first again.
Oh, Jesus.
Because you guys haven't got any for a while.
Shameful.
Damn.
I knew this would be an intense competition today.
I just didn't know what kind of intense.
I would like to remind everyone the first game I actually did pretty good.
You did.
You really did.
You destroyed the first game, but that's how time works, is now we're in this game. Yeah.
Things aren't going so good.
And now time changes nothing.
Chad, what movie had the tagline, He Loved the American Dream?
He Loved the American Dream.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
Okay, let's do a rundown.
We got Godfather.
We got Goodfellas.
We got Godfather 2.
What was the last one?
I don't know.
Oh, the Irishman.
Okay, he loved the American dream.
God damn. Okay, he loved The American Dream.
God damn.
It's got to be one of them newfangled gangster films,
don't it?
Right?
They've all been Scorsese movies.
Casino.
Danny just guessed that on one of the other ones.
Yeah, but that was a different tagline.
Turns out you were both wrong.
We are? Oh!
What do you got for me, Danny?
Bring it home, Danny.
Come on, Danny.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
It's not good in my brain right now.
Danny, Danny. Danny.
Danny, Danny, Danny.
Such a supportive crowd for such a dumb person.
You can't even imagine the way I talk about myself when I'm alone.
He said blowing up right now wasn't clear enough.
He dirty text himself.
Stupid.
It's not going gonna happen for us so i'm just gonna say no and i so appreciate it you're gonna love this answer when you hear it i know i'm gonna i mean
it's so embarrassing what's going through my brain right now as i rack it for one final second before
i just go and say the italian job which is wrong the italian job hell yeah which one
the statham and most deaf one was a remake there's technically mafia in that movie they
technically came from italy um the answer is scarface all right this is gonna get really fun now because
in anticipation of this sort of thing happening oh i did get a point
you did you did you did know what an offer you can't refuse is from but chad this one spells it out a little bit more
so we'll see how how you do with that okay
a comedy about a government i love a tagline it's just a long description of the thing. A comedy about a government witness who gives suburbia a culture shock.
A comedy about a witness who gives suburbia a culture shock?
Yeah, that's what I said, but I pronounced it more clearly.
Okay.
I pronounced it more clearly. Okay.
This is a deep cut one, but I was probably wrong, but I'm going to say My Blue Heaven.
That is correct.
Chad, you did it.
You're on the board.
We have a tie.
Out of nowhere.
Congratulations.
There's still one more game to play after this one.
This one is just for fun, basically.
You'll get to go first in the next game if you win this one,
but it's never really an advantage.
Sometimes a disadvantage.
All right, here we go.
Danny.
Luck has nothing
to do with the games they
play.
I see you taking a second.
Just say it.
Just say it.
I know.
I'm so terrified.
Because let me say this.
I want to say casino, but I know I'm going to get yelled at.
So instead.
All right, fine. All right, I'm going to get yelled at. So instead... Alright, fine.
I'm going with a casino.
That is correct.
I was going to say Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well, congratulations.
With two points on the board, Danny wins that game.
Feels really good.
But Chad's not out.
We may see him somersault yet before the day is out.
That's what I'm boiling down to.
That's what you win if you win the opportunity to
somersault for all of us.
And also,
this is so exciting,
someone
today in the audience might
win $400.
What?
I know.
It's crazy. The next one,
if everybody fails today
to come up with the name,
then the next show,
the prize money will be $4.20.
No, it'll be $420.
I'm adding $20 every time somebody doesn't get this,
and we will play that game
right after this break.
We'll be right back.
And we're back.
Yeah.
It is time for last person standing.
It is called Last Person Standing
because I switched it to person
when I started using actresses more in this game.
And then I switched it over to just actresses.
So there's an actress's name in my wallet.
And if somebody yes and if somebody
names it today
they will win $400
cash
and even though I'm not into
contact I will count
the money out into your hand
like Chuck Woolery used to do
on Scrabble
and remember luck has nothing to do with the games
that we play.
Hold it.
Alright, so who thinks
they have a suggestion
of an actress that the three of us
I play along in this game will have to take turns
naming movies they were in until
all of us run out.
There's a game involved in this?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I mean, we're going to, you know, we've got to get the names first.
But I should remind you that we're looking for actresses where you can name a lot of movies they were in.
Because that's the point of the game.
And that's why we get four names.
Because a lot of times the first or second name, all of us look at each other on stage like well i'm not gonna be able to name very many movies from that i don't i mean i know
you know i mean like tilda swinton comes up everybody goes white to match her complexion
all right so all right so um andy man is with you and his name tag got chosen, so I'm not going to call on you immediately,
because you're already in play for what's probably at least $40 worth of stuff in that bag.
So we have to go to you.
First of all, I'll ask your name and then what your suggestion is.
So you don't have to hold up your name tag.
What's your name?
Jamie.
Jamie?
Yes.
With an M? so it's spelled MJ hey and what's your suggestion Jennifer Lawrence is not
in my wallet but is a terrific name for this game. It's a great name. Yeah.
We will have fun with that one.
Are you guys...
Wait, who'd you say?
Jennifer Lawrence.
As soon as I wrote J-L,
I was like, lo?
Nope. J-Law. We're going J-L, I was like, lo? Nope, J-Law.
We're going J-Law.
But of course, we're going to get another name.
Welcome back, Andy man.
Oh, also, I think you missed the part about it's going to be ladies only.
Your name tag's in play, so you can't play.
How about you? What's your name?
Melissa.
Melissa, what do you think?
Chloe Grace Moretz.
Oh, Chloe Grace Moretz.
That's a pretty good one.
Not in my wallet.
Terrific actress, though.
Very talented.
And one of the four we will be playing today.
I felt like you were going to not get through that whole name.
You were like starting to panic,
like you didn't know the rest of it.
Chloe, Grace.
You think it's stuff for you guys.
I don't even know.
You get a little taste of what it's like up here.
Sometimes Scarface doesn't come right to your brain,
and you know.
There are so many men with their hands up right now,
but, you know, you never know.
I might change my mind on that stance.
The last show in San Diego, I was like,
all right, let's ask a man,
and he gave the dumbest answer of any of them,
so it was very frustrating.
The kind of polka-dotty outfit, what's your name?
Julia. Classic. I thought she said Chilia. the kind of polka dotty outfit what's your name? Julia
I thought she said Chilia
and I was like that sounds like
a new Taco Bell item
Julia
what is your suggestion?
Brie Larson
a former guest on Douglas
movies will probably never do it again now that she's
Captain fucking Marvel.
But also not in my wallet.
Yeah.
Sorry.
You like her, Danny?
She's very talented.
This is me just trying to build up a list of names.
Oh, yeah.
You're already getting into the game.
Are you doing that too, Chad?
Yeah.
It sucks, though, because when they're in your head, they jump out.
You get some.
I have literally nothing.
It's a problem.
We're a little concerned up here.
But we're bringing a good attitude, and we're keeping a fun, happy.
I've already forgotten who you said, Julia.
Oh, yeah.
Former guest.
Yeah.
No, we talked about it plenty for me to remember.
Yet somehow I still didn't.
Okay.
So we've been getting four every time lately.
But then in San Diego, we got six fucking names.
And still still we still
damn we'll be here for like eight hours it's unfair to the next city if i just go nuts one
time and just do so many names that eventually you get it right but i also worry you still won't
eventually get it right it's such a weird it's so weird to me that nobody said this name that's in my wallet.
So let's go
to
what's your name? You got like a wristband on?
They all have wristbands on.
Lindsay? Yeah.
Denim I guess? You wearing denim?
Okay. Lindsay and denim.
Julia Roberts?
Come on! What the fuck is happening?
Oh.
Oh.
Please, I don't want to believe you.
Yes.
No, yeah, you're right about her being in a lot of movies.
I agree that I don't understand why you're being yelled at right now.
Yeah.
How dare you say Julia Roberts.
Oh, it's just been, it's so frustrating because they say Julia Roberts like every second.
It comes up a lot.
Like these are all names.
Chloe Grace Moretz.
I give her credit for that one.
But the idea is it's not, you're not looking for a name that's obscure.
This is a massive actress.
Like Oscar nominated, like very well known.
Very well known.
Yeah, unlike Julia Roberts.
And this has been going on for two years and nobody says her goddamn name.
What's your name?
Jama?
Jana, like banana.
Well, then why isn't it Janana?
I'm sorry for pointing for so long.
All right.
So, you know, this game's going to take forever for us to play with all these actresses who've been in a million things.
You've got to do more than four, though.
We're going to do Jana.
Jana Banana.
Like banana.
I really want some of the work.
What's your suggestion?
Scarlet Joaquin Phoenix.
Yeah, these are people that, it's just the same names keep coming up. And that also shows what's wrong with Hollywood and movies
is that there's
not enough actresses. People know.
Yeah, please don't yell out any
more answers. I can't take more
because this just becomes unfair to
the next city. Okay,
one more. One more.
I want to end this so fucking bad.
Stand up if you know what name it is.
Wait.
I should go around and have them all whisper it in my ear.
And then just declare the one who said it a winner.
But I don't want to.
That's too much.
That's too much.
I love the dancing over here.
What's your name? My name too much. I love the dancing over here.
What's your name? My name? Lucy.
Hi Lucy.
My name? Like you were dancing when I said I like the dancing.
And why do you think you know the answer, Lucy?
Because you're in Sacramento.
Because I'm in Sacramento, that is a good point. I am in Sacramento.
What?
Who is it?
Amy Adams!
That is correct!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Lucy, please approach the stage.
Oh.
Look at her dance. Look at her dance. Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! No, that's, you did what I hoped would happen.
I hope this would happen in Sacramento.
Hold your hand up, please.
100, 200, 300.
Now the real bills.
320, 340, 360 $380, $400!
Lucy did it!
Congratulations.
Is that what you wanted to say?
Yes.
I'm glad that that worked out
because you were
seeming like you might...
Oh, what?
How much did you give her?
What did you give her? 20?
Okay.
That's still very nice of her.
So nice.
That was very cool of you.
I don't give away hundreds to see them passed off to other people.
Wow. so nice that was very cool I don't give away hundreds to see them passed off to other people wow Lucy's
I love that you
got 20 bucks
and you didn't
know the answer
wow
who were you
gonna say
Diane Keaton
yeah
she's come up
but that would
have been a good one
but
but Amy
oh
yeah
you gave her
20 dollars for no reason.
But...
But...
Give it to the waitstaff.
Yeah, you can tip with it.
Definitely tip, everybody.
I appreciate the staff coming in early.
There's still two more pack shows tonight here at the club.
So tip well.
Oh, my God.
And a lot.
If you have $400 in cash on on you put it on the table that's how i do it um so yeah lucy figured out the puzzle because in sacramento
several years ago you knew we're at the show lucy when it happened uh i was playing a game where there was only one answer and an audience
member yelled it out and it was amy adams like yelled it out in a way where it's just like that's
the answer you know like if people somebody yelled out casino at the right moment tonight
but it was also a game without multiple questions a game i don't play anymore but anyway
uh so when she yelled out amy Adams, I kind of lost my shit.
And so then
when I had this idea
to pick a person,
I thought, well, she'll come up every once in a while
because people think it's funny to mention her to me.
Like, people are always making Amy Adams
jokes to me. Like, if I say anything
about her, they act like I should hate her.
It's like, no, I don't like the lady who yelled
Amy Adams. I should hate her. It's like, no, I don't like the lady who yelled Amy Adams.
I like Amy Adams.
So was that you?
No, it wasn't her.
She was at the show.
That would be amazing.
She was at the show.
How fucked up would that be?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If the person who yelled Amy Adams was like, I'm going to go back and get that money.
Yeah.
What a long game.
Holy shit.
She knows the long con, man.
Ah, damn.
She's playing Lucy's game.
Directed by Aaron Sorkin.
All right, so...
So I'm taking this out of my wallet
because I feel like, you know,
that's what you do, though,
is you prove...
You prove that that's really what was happening.
So Danny,
please read out loud
what's written on that piece of paper.
Amy fucking Adams.
Yep.
Yes, you can have it.
Yeah.
Really?
That was the first time you came to a show?
To my show, and that happened,
and then, wow, it really worked out for you.
All these years later.
How long ago do you think that was?
I don't have an idea either.
It must be at least three or four years.
At least.
Wow.
At least.
And this name's been in my wallet for two years.
Too long.
So now, if I play this game again on the next show, it's going to go back down to 20 bucks.
And this lady here has to pay it.
Yeah!
I don't know, though. It feels like time to move on from this particular game after one spectacular round.
With Chloe Grace Moretz,
Amy Adams,
Jay Law,
who else?
Julia Roberts,
Brie Larson,
and Scarlett Johansson.
This is stupid.
Is it it though?
This should take forever.
But we're both idiots.
We both have been proven to be the dumbest players I have to believe in the history of Doug Love's movies.
I feel as if we're not even close.
We're not Jeff Tate.
You both are in the top 10%
of guests on this show.
Really?
In terms of answering the questions
and being delightful, yes.
Wow.
Doug, I'll come back anytime.
What a fun.
You lovable bastard.
All right, so Danny,
we're going to take turns naming movies
that all those actresses have been in.
There's probably a couple that two or three of them have been in together.
Oh, and I was going to say, like, they all have to have been in it?
Yeah.
That's the fucked up part of this game.
None of us can think of a movie that has all of these actresses in it.
Damn.
Like, oh, my God.
That would never.
Oh, I can think of lots that have two of them.
Anyway, so how much time do we have?
Let's look at the clock. Okay. We got time we got time we can do this um who won the last game chad did i no no
danny did all right he's running away with it so you get to go first in this so you can get to pick
the most obvious title i think i know what it is but then chad will say a movie that one of those five six actresses was in is it six because should we
play amy too might as well throw her in there she's the cherry on top she really is all right
um all right so six actresses we've got to take turns naming movies they're in. You can't think about it for too long, but
take a second, of course.
We'll go Chad, Danny,
me, and then back to Chad.
Chad,
start us off. Say the movie
and the actress or actresses.
Alright.
Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman.
That was the one.
That's exactly the one. That's exactly the one I thought.
That's the most famous movie that any of these six.
I mean, obviously, they've been in bigger movies,
but Pretty Woman's really a Julia Roberts thing.
All right, Danny.
Julia Roberts, Erin Brockovich.
Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass.
Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass.
Hit Girl is one of my favorite movie characters of all time.
Just love watching her murder people in the face.
Murder people in the face.
I'll do Amy Adams Arrival.
Great movie.
Great movie.
Yeah, that's the guy, the Dune guy directed it, right?
Yeah, Dennis Villanueva. Oh,, right? Yeah, Dennis Villanueva.
Oh, did you say it?
Dennis Villanueva.
Villanueva.
Isn't that how it is?
Isn't that how you say it?
You're the only person I've ever met that acts confident in saying it.
You know what I mean?
People are like, that guy who directed Dune.
Villanueva.
I've never heard of Villanueva.
I've never heard it laid out like that
Danny
I will go with
Jennifer Lawrence
Hunger Games
Is that bad?
No it's not bad
You're still in the game
That's how it works
I gotta go
For Brie L. I gotta go for
Brie Larson. I gotta go
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
So good. Such a good movie.
It's amazing.
I'll say Brie Larson
Kong Skull Island.
That's my favorite Kong
movie.
Yeah, I choked on my water saying it, but it is.
Danny?
I will go...
Jennifer Lawrence, Hunger Games, Catching Fire.
Yeah!
I'll do sequels.
Yeah.
We're not allowed to do sequels?
Yeah.
I'm going to go... We can do that. yeah that's gonna be crazy if we could do that oh this is fun i'm gonna go through all six of them and each one
i'm gonna say if it hasn't been taken i'm gonna say my favorite movie that they are in uh so brie
larson was scott pilgrim and uh chloe was kick-ass. So let's go...
Oh shit, do I like a Jennifer Lawrence movie?
You don't like Hunger Games?
No.
Delightful.
Delightful series.
I'm going to say Scarlett Johansson, Jojo Rabbit.
Really good.
Very good movie.
I'm going to go with one
with two of them in it.
Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams in
American Hustle.
Wow.
Nice.
Danny. I'm quite concerned by how good
the two of you are at this.
Because it might shock you what I'm doing next.
It's Jennifer Lawrence, Hunger Games, Mockingbird.
Mockingbird J.
Oh, I just remembered my favorite of her movies is Hunger Games,
Mockingjay Part 2.
There you go.
Saw my game, did you?
Well discovered.
No one has said it, so I'll say Brie Larson, Captain Marvel.
Yeah, might as well say it.
You mentioned it earlier.
Might as well say it.
Yeah.
Sure.
I will go.
Jennifer Lawrence.
Don't look up.
Thank you.
Stop that.
I thought it was pretty good, actually.
I thought it was a good poll,
but everybody seems mad at me.
Amy Adams, Enchanted.
I'm going to say
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook.
Yes. You're getting all the Silver Linings Playbook. Yes.
You're getting all the David O. Russells.
Yeah.
And them all.
Yeah.
Danny.
I'm going to say.
Thanks, everybody.
I'm going to say, with my big blockbuster continuation,
I will say Scarlett Johansson, Black Widow.
Ooh.
Scarlett Johansson, Black Widow.
Ooh.
I'm gonna say J-Law
and J-Oy.
Joy.
Oh.
J-Oy.
That got me. I was like,
he's lost it.
I wish I had thought. I would have loved to buy
a ticket to the box office. Can I have one for J-Oy?
Chad.O.I.? Chad.
Chad.
Julia Roberts, my best friend's wedding.
She was in that.
Danny.
We're getting into scary territory for Danny, I will say.
We're getting a little dangerous.
But I'm going to say, just to keep ourselves a little safe, we're just going to say, well, we have more time to think.
Scarlett Johansson, Avengers Civil War.
Yeah, that's fair.
We got to think of something.
Julia Roberts, Runaway Bride.
Chad.
Oof.
Go Julia Roberts.
I Love Trouble.
That's a deep cut.
What does that mean? Nolte. Is that a movie? That's a deep cut. What does that mean?
Is that a movie?
That is a movie.
Yeah, they're like competing newspaper reporters.
Sounds great.
What do you got, Danny?
Here we go.
You got it. You got it.
You got it.
I'm going to go, oh, God, I think it's the name of the movie, and this is a risk to take
because I'm not positive, but here we go.
Jennifer Lawrence, Gravity?
Is the name of that movie?
Why would you, first of all, I decide whether it's right or wrong.
She's not in Gravity.
So settle down.
Settle down.
Don't say what you think
she is in.
We can't discuss it.
You just have to move on
and pick something else
and maybe think of it later.
Okay, Scarlett Johansson
and Iron Man 2.
Okay.
Jennifer Lawrence,
Passengers.
Oh, that's what it's called.
Oh.
That's funny.
That's fun.
That movie was good, though.
We don't talk about it enough.
Chad?
Brie Larson's Short Term 12?
Mm-hmm.
Very good, yeah.
Boy, we're falling apart in Danny Land.
Good indie drama.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Come on, Danny.
I'm falling apart.
I'm so sorry.
That's all right. You did great.
I know.
That's a good point.
You can go to your person whose name tag
you picked once.
Not ready yet, too, because I'm going to say
Scarlett Johansson, Avengers Endgame.
Yeah. Why not?
Ooh, this is fun.
Chloe Grace Moretz.
Oh, shit, I'm going to fuck up the number, though.
500 Days of Summer?
Yay, I did it. Yeah, she's like the little kid in that.
It's like wise beyond her years.
She gives what's-his-name dating advice, and then he still she gives uh what's his name uh dating advice and then he
still has sex with what's her name i say chloe grace moretz let me in yes of course go back and
watch let the right one in uh instead of let me in the what what let me in was based on
well because it's not as good.
It's a remake of a foreign film that's amazing.
Oh. What?
Danny.
What do you got?
I'm going to go Chloe Grace Moretz
Kick-Ass 2.
Yes! Good job!
How long can I keep my
bad answers coming while these
two continue to say great great movies here we go
i'm gonna go scarlett johansson the man who wasn't there
that's where she was a precocious youngster that gave advice to a guy
did not have sex with somebody and he did anyway
i'll say Julia Roberts hook
Quickly Danny
Before they start chanting
See I told you
Now Rubio started
Cause that's their favorite taco place
Oh that's Rubio started. Because that's their favorite taco place.
Oh, that's Rubio's.
Sorry.
Rue Fees.
Oh!
What a great answer.
I'm going to say, hey, let's go dance on Iron Man 3.
Kill me.
Okay.
That's good.
Kill me, throw me in the water. I hate myself.
I hate everything I'm about.
I don't like myself.
No, that was a great play.
Thank you.
Oh, okay.
So unnecessarily cruel.
Yeah, so mean.
That's not a good answer.
Not a good answer.
I know, I don't feel good about it.
I said that. Yeah, so mean. That's not a good answer. Not a good answer. I know, I don't feel good about it. I said that.
I'm acknowledging that.
I'm going to say Julia Roberts, Satisfaction.
Ooh, my God, that's a deep cut.
Co-starring with Liam Neeson and Justine Bateman.
Wow.
And a rowboat.
How do they do this?
And a rowboat.
Nothing says satisfaction like a rowboat. Life of they do this? In a rowboat. Nothing says satisfaction like a rowboat.
Life of Pi was a remake of...
Oh, I just thought of another one.
Anyway, go ahead, Chad.
I'm going to say Julia Roberts' Conspiracy Theory.
Yes.
It's funny how people respond based what whether or not they like the movie
so it's a funny funny the reaction anyway uh you want to go to your lifeline yeah what do you got
kiana skojo and ghost world skojo and ghost world i should have that's i i like jojo Rabbit better, but yeah, Ghost World was good. You already said that.
Yeah, exactly.
I was pointing out that earlier I said Jojo Rabbit was my favorite movie,
and then I remembered Ghost World is awesome.
All right, Chad.
Oh, wait.
Isn't it you?
Oh, Danny got the, okay.
It's you.
All right, Danny.
Keep thinking.
It'll be back to you soon.
It's not looking good for old Danny.
I was trying to think of a Brie Larson movie, but I just can't remember.
If I just think of where it takes place, it's in a room. Room!
I mean, they're cocky about it. It's just so rude.
You're having fun with it.
Chad.
Oh, my God.
We got to do this, man.
We got to start moving quicker.
I'm going to say Scarlett Johansson, Lost in Translation.
Boom.
It's time to take me out.
Take me out. I do like that one a lot, too. Take me out. You don't have anything? I got nothing. Boom. It's time to take me out. Take me out.
I do like that one a lot, too.
Take me out.
You don't have anything?
I got nothing.
Danny.
Sorry.
I'm out.
I couldn't keep doing Avengers.
I felt the crowd would turn on me.
Oh, wait.
You got more Avengers?
Yeah, she's in the thousand.
There's a thousand.
Yeah, so do another one.
Keep doing them.
All right. Fine. Yeah, she's in the... There's a thousand... Yeah, so do another one. Keep doing them.
All right, fine.
I mean, which... I mean, I'm pretty sure that she shows up in the original Avengers.
Right?
Yeah, the original Avengers.
All right, I feel so terrible.
This is horrible.
Don't feel bad about it.
Such good answers. Don't feel bad about it.
I'm about to say Avengers Age of Ultron.
It just happens.
It just happens.
They're in a lot of fucking Marvel movies.
I know. They really are.
There's so many of them.
Julia Roberts
Mystic Pizza.
That's real good.
Real good.
Oh, I just thought of a good one.
That's the best one.
Danny?
No, no.
You got another Marvel?
No, I don't.
I'm out.
Take me out.
All right, Danny's out.
Thank you for playing.
Put me out of my misery.
I'm sorry. Great job, Danny. I'm out. Take me out. All right. Danny's out. Thank you for playing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Great job, Danny.
My brain hurts.
That's okay.
It's a tough game. It's difficult.
Because like, why?
That was so mean.
I don't know what is happening.
This lady hit drink three or something.
And she's really been super critical.
I'm pretty sure it's Lucy, right?
No, it's not Lucy. That'd be amazing she got 400 i think it's not yeah
lucy's yeah
i knew it lucy it's hard danny to remember the titles of some of these movies because it doesn't
even make fucking sense.
Like, why is Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt in a movie called The Mexican?
Yeah.
So it makes it hard to remember that it's a real movie.
Chad?
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I mean, you win, basically.
Okay.
I'm trying to think of that recent amy adams the competition
is between the two of you i just play to make it more fucked up i know amy adams nocturnal animals
i like the parts she's not in yeah when she's not on the screen it's wonderful right because
she's playing a character who's got her own issues and she's writing this book and then you see uh scenes
from the book and they're amazing like michael shannon is amazing in it and then and then they
didn't go back to her and it's not as much fun yeah yeah it's a real bipolar movie a real bipolar
experience but let's call chad ope it's the winner today you and I could continue this privately if you want to if you want to
settle it uh but terrific job Chad you want to go ahead and uh give us your plugs go ahead and
tell us where people can see you my plugs are I'm gonna be I'm heading up to Washington and Oregon Tacoma Seattle Salem
Eugene
Portland
I'm doing the
Tree Fort Music Fest
in Boise
and then I'm heading to
Anchorage, Alaska
for the Before You Die Festival
follow me on Instagram
at Chad Opitz
I'm posting up
funny shit all the time
on there
thanks guys
and very good on Twitter
oh yeah
you're very good on Twitter
oh thank you
thank you so much very good on Twitter Oh yeah You're very good on Twitter Oh thank you
Thank you so much
Very good on Twitter
Good Twitter follow
Danny Jollis
Great first appearance
Thank you
You won the first two games
Really good
I did
And you lasted a long time
In that last fucked up game
Thank you so much
And you were here
At a historic moment
I was
We finally figured out
This wallet shit
So thank you for being here
Wallet
And what would you like to plug?
I'm going to plug three things.
Hey, this I can remember.
Please, please, please, please follow us
and every comic that you like on any podcast
on social media.
Please follow me at Danny Jollis.
TikTokers are destroying our jobs.
And they're genuinely selling out comedy clubs,
and it's ruining it, so you have to follow us.
It's the only way we fight back.
Please follow us on social media.
If you're listening to this, it really makes a difference.
It sounds dumb. It's huge.
Second, I have a special on YouTube called Six Parts.
It's my first special.
I'm really proud of it, and I would love if you watched it.
And my third one is that stand-up comedy is like hockey.
It is fun to watch on TV, but it is a different experience live.
Please go see live stand-up comedy.
You have to do it.
You have to.
You have to, have to, have to.
So I honest, genuine with this part of the plug, don't worry about seeing me.
Just go to your local comedy club if you're listening to this. Just go find a real comic and watch them do it.
Go see real comedy.
Go watch live stand-up comedy.
Find out where Danny's playing and go anywhere you want.
You don't have to go see him.
Can I add one thing?
Make your own choice.
To Danny?
What's that?
I don't know if you knew this, but he's blowing up right now on Amazon Prime.
So you're going to want to see that. You're going to want to see that.
You've got to see that.
I'm going to be doing a bunch of shows
at South by Southwest in Austin, Texas next month.
And I won't have to mess with that thing in my wallet anymore.
So it's very freeing.
Very exciting.
One more time for my my guest Chad Opitz and
Danny Jollis
Chad real
real quick Chad do you want to
do a victory somersault? Oh shit okay yeah
where's he going?
he's got to do the whole lap.
He does a whole lap.
Watch out.
This guy's going to get in his way.
Jesus.
Oh.
Oh.
Wow.
That guy.
That guy over there got up and slapped his hand as he ran by.
I had visions of that bicycle race where that dumb lady stepped out in front of all the bikes.
Jesus Christ.
Thank you to the Sac Punch, the Sacramento Punchline.
Thank you to everybody who came out this afternoon.
I know that it's a big mattress buying weekend,
so I appreciate you making the time.
I close every episode now with the last line from a motion picture,
so get that end music ready to go.
It's a pretty short one.
As always, now where was I?
Now where was I?
Now, where was I? Woo!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold as you and I.
Where's your prize bag, Bruce?
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.